#trick question it's both

[flying-fangirls]

If Bill Cipher and Kayne Malevolent ever met, do y'all think they would be besties? Or would they just spend the whole time trying to see who could explode the other in the goriest way possible?

[hailsatanacab]

@the-witchhunter - this is incredibly disturbing, i love it. fair warning, i took it more in the direction of that oglaf comic (nsfw) where Vlad fully doesn't realise that this is a love shrine, this is a completely normal thing that you do for your arch enemy!

———

“Daniel! I can explain!”

“Oh… my… God...”

“Daniel, really, it’s not what it looks like!”

“Really?” Danny breathes, shocked and honestly kind of fighting down the urge to vomit. The thermos slips from his fingers and clatters to the ground, the sound echoing far too loudly in the enclosed space. “Because it looks like you have a shrine dedicated to my dad in your closet.”

“No, that’s not—it’s more complicated than that, Daniel. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I don’t think I want to understand.”

“Your father is a ridiculous man, Daniel. I hate his stupid face so much. Look at him!”

Vlad turns back to the actual shrine, with actual candles and actual flowers and actual photos of his dad with… Holy crap, did Vlad cut out Mom in each of the photos? What the fuck? 

Wait… Look, Danny tries not to look too closely at the weird things Vlad has hidden around his mansion dedicated to his mom, but he’s fairly sure that the pictures of her he’s cut out (in heart shapes—yeah, Danny’s definitely going to barf) are the ones Vlad’s put in his other weirdo closet shrine that Danny also wishes he’d never seen.

“Why don’t you just have one shrine? Why have—no, you know what, I don’t want to know. I think I’m just gonna leave.”

Yeah, that sounds like the best option. Danny takes a cautious step back, very ready to get back home, bleach his eyeballs and maybe never look at his mom and dad ever again. Or, at least, not until he has successfully blocked this from his mind forever.

He only gets one foot out the door when Vlad lashes out and grabs him. The day just keeps getting better and better, really, doesn’t it? Even as he twists and turns, he can’t get out of Vlad’s ironclad grip and he’s pulled even farther into the closet. 

Panic rises in his throat as Vlad shuts the door—what the fuck is happening? He doesn’t want to be dragged into Vlad’s creepy shrine to his dad, what the fuck? What the fuck!

“I loathe your father, Daniel, I hate him with the very core of my being. Look at him!” 

There’s no goddamn way in hell Danny is looking at any of the pictures, no thank you. He squeezes his eyes shut and wishes he were somewhere, anywhere else, when Vlad jerks his arm forward so he comes nose-to-nose with the largest framed portrait of his dad in the very centre of the table, smiling with his doctorate and a very unfortunate 80s mullet. Dear God, no.

“I hate his smug face! I hate his stupid fashion sense, you have no idea how much I detest that orange jumpsuit of his, how much I want to claw it off him and tear it to shreds! If I have to listen to him say another boneheaded, idiotic, ridiculous thing, I will—I’ll rip his throat out with my teeth! You don't know how long I spend here looking at him, imaging all the ways I'll have him grovelling at my feet. One day, Daniel, I'll have him one day...”

———

The sun was going down when Danny finally managed to escape and find solace in Sam and Tucker. He's not going home. Not yet.

“Danny, are you okay? We were so worried, we couldn’t get hold of you for hours! Where were you?”

“Sam, Tuck… Vlad, he…”

“Holy shit, Danny, you’re shaking, are you alright? What happened, what did he do?”

“I think… I think he wants to fuck my dad.”

[whereismywizardhat]

The Mandalorian really trying to slip a prophecy twist past me.

“The songs of eons past foretold of the Mythosaur rising up to herald a new age of Mandalore. Sadly, it only exists in legends.“

The Mandalore heralded by the rising Mythosaur.  One who delved into the underworld, battled the dark creatures below, and was baptized by the living waters of the Mines of Mandalore.  The rightful wielder of the Darksaber

Am I talking about Din or Bo-katan?

[flaxen-kittie]

Cant tell who is more trans coded Seth or Charlie

[nevesmose]

Which fictional white-haired man will I obsess over the relationship status of today I wonder

[nagumoshoma]

there is something about a tiny boy with a tiny waist that makes me absolutely insane bonkers yonkers with gender envy

[miscbones]

my boss is very obviously trying to fire me, she's compiling a list of petty reasons under the guise of "checking in since being off sick" and "helping me back into the role so we're all on the same page :)" by dragging up problems I had months ago and formally documenting these "informal little chats :)" that I have to have with her every single week for an unspecified period of time. presumably when she can prove some kind of pattern of behaviour it's p45 for me.

funny this happens right after I complained to head office about the tragedy that was pride month and then had a 6 week absence for a mental breakdown caused by doing the job of 3 people while trying to fight overt homophobia directed at me specifically for the whole of June.

[sk8erbi]

OKAY HERE'S THE THING RIGHT,

I've been to Apokolips, I fought Darkseid, it's whatever

i, like, DID almost die during it, tho, and my friend's speed clone of himself DID DIE, and all of us were basically knocking on the door to heaven or whatever,

and the other time i was in space, i was playing baseball against dudes who wanted to conquer another planet

guess which one stuck with me more :)

[upwardsdescensum]

is this song giving asher or am I loosing my mind

[j-a-nuary]

Feeling very

This morning

[kalamariboy]

[averagesawfan]

house (talking about a patient): what you think he can't bc he's a faggot

chase: uuuh mate, I don't think ou' can say that eh

house: don't worry I take it up the ass. (turns back to the whiteboard)

foreman (whispers to Cameron): 20 says it Cuddy

Cameron: 50 says it's Wilson

[ohimsummer]

satoru gets hard over literally anything. he sees a peek of your side boob = boner. underboob = boner. skin doesn’t have to be showing, even just the shape of them under your shirt is enough. whether you have on shorts or long pants, he’s popping a boner because satoru starts thinking about your thighs and how they feel and resting his head on them before he’s then fantasizing about kissing them all over and eventually eating you out.

you could be eating a sucker, dutifully minding your own business and satoru’s eyes haven’t left your mouth once because his dirty mind isn’t helping his situation. all he can think about is his dick between your lips instead of some stupid candy. living with you is a nightmare because of how often he’s scurrying off to be alone and rub one out over the most minuscule of details about you <3

[prokopetz]

Oh, you're a rules-light storygame designer making their first foray into writing a crunchy tactical RPG? Very cool. So: mecha or magical girls?

[transmascfalin]

to me in a modern au, falin and laios grow up in a tiny little country town, one of backwater areas where everyone knows everyone. their dads definitely the town preacher or something. half the food they eat is deer patties and rabbit stew from the game their dad caught. falin comes out to their parents for the first time when shes younger. their mom says she accepts her but openly complains about wanting grandkids one day and it makes falin sad but she doesnt comment on it. laios never once came out to their parents, but he and falin talked about it for hours after she came out and it opened up a little box that had been taped firmly shut in his brain. falin did not go to the hospital for falling and busting open her chin, which bothers laios to think about but falin only remembers how many popsicles their parents let her eat while she healed. falin and laios can both run on sharp gravel barefoot, from years of practice. falin used to feed stray cats and would hide them in their treehouse. do you understand my vision

[andyling]

THEY MIGHT BE DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE BUT GODDAMMIT THEY FOUND HAPPINESS WITH EACH OTHER AND CHOSE TO ENJOY THEIR TIME TOGETHER DESPITE THE INEVITABLE TRAGEDY AND THAT IS WHY I LOVE THEM