#travel edition selfies

[akayna]

It's humid as fuck here in Singapore but the AC is blasting so high you need a sweater inside

Anyway I look cute. That is all.

[maddi--paige]

36 hours in Page, Arizona, shot on a camcorder

[heyitsjonphotos92]

Hey

[meganlynnhostetler]

Instagram: @meganlynnhostetler

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: a request by @morchilluv - "we definitely need a slow burn story of Sam and the reader with some sexual tension and being smutty"

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, kind of a sad slow burn romance, a dash of sexual tension (I feel like I make up for it), flirting, real feelings being masked, not so secret jealously, passive aggressive comments/actions, slightly angsty, biting, scratching, hair pulling, unprotected passionate sex, filth

Word count: 8.6k | NOT edited

I didn't mean for this to be as sad as it actually is, but I like it regardless. Sorry if it's not exactly what the request asks, I tried!

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

YOUNGER YEARS

Your family has always been friends with Sam's family, so naturally, anytime there was a party, you and Sam would always run off to hang out.

You had a massive crush on him, and since you were young, you didn't really know how well to conceal it, so your cheeks were always red and your smile never faded with him.

You had a habit of taking pictures, the sunsets, the clouds, animals. You even have multiple blurry pictures of the moon. You took pictures of literally anything that made you happy, and eventually, you got comfortable enough with taking pictures of Sam any time you wanted to.

He always posed or smiled, but that was always when he knew you were taking a picture. He'd even send you selfies throughout the day on days you weren't hanging out.

You snapped canid pictures of him, too. One of your favorites is him playing the guitar.

You were just kids at the time, not really knowing what love was exactly, but you knew that you didn't want to be without him, even if you were just friends.

That's what it was for a while. You mainly had his attention, even when he did get a girlfriend or talked to a girl. It was puppy, middle school love, so it never really lasted long.

Eventually, Colby started to hang out with you guys, becoming the trio that you are today, but we'll get into that.

Colby would always tease you about liking Sam. He knew before Sam ever did, which honestly to you, took a while for him to understand, or so you thought.

As you became friends for some time, Sam started to flirt back on occasion, mainly when it was just the two of you. When Colby was around, or anyone else for the matter, he wouldn't flirt.

He treated you like he treated Colby, on some levels that is, and it was like that for a while.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Sam and Colby grew big on Vine, quickly building a platform for themselves on YouTube.

You weren't in any of their videos, mainly because you just thought it was weird and you didn't think you could do it.

They've tried and tried again to get you to join them, and you did for maybe one or two videos, but you just sat back mostly, helping them with certain ideas and skits.

You were the girl who always got accused of being one of their girlfriends because you were always with them.

For a while you all took turns replying to certain tweets, denying it, but eventually, you all came to the realization that with fame, comes persistent fans, so all three of you decided to just let people think what they wanted.

You still wished that the rumors between you and Sam would come true, being a teenage girl, you were always told that a girl shouldn't chase a guy, but before you actually realized it, that's exactly what you were doing.

Once graduation hit, you moved from the place you grew up in, to LA.

Sam and Colby got a nice, lavish apartment, with an extra bedroom for editing and one for you, of course.

You traveled with them. Explored with them.

You really became a big part of the 'XPLR' team and an even bigger part of you fell deeper in love with Sam.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

PRESENT DAY

Sam has been heavy on your mind lately, mainly because you thought it was finally time to tell him how you were really feeling.

For years, you've convinced yourself that he knew and liked you, too. The constant flirting back and forth, finding yourself in moments to where you weren't really sure what was going to happen, but it was full of tension, but in a good way.

Sexual tension.

It was there, always surrounding the two of you at the best such as when you're filming a reaction video and he the way he looks at you is just pure lust, or even when you're at home, watching a movie and a sex scene comes on.

Your mind instantly goes to recreating it Sam, and the way he looks at you makes you think that he has those same thoughts with you.

Then there's the worst times, where you're out with friends, drinking. You take one tipsy look at Sam and you feel like you're done for. The only thing stopping you is completely making a fool out of not really yourself, but Sam.

So as usual, it doesn't go anywhere but shoved to the back of your mind.

You kept falling in love with him all over again, doing whatever it took to keep him in your life, but then everything took a turn and you suddenly felt yourself almost hating him.

Girl after girl, situation after situation, you found yourself wanting to distance yourself, save yourself from a massive heartbreak, but it was a little too late for that.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"Where are you going?" Sam asks, looking up at you as you get up from your chair.

"To get a drink." You laugh, "You want one?"

He nods, looking back down at his phone, "Yeah, can you bring me one of those strawberry smoothie things?" You purse your lips, "I think there's only one left."

He looks up from his phone dropping it into his lap, "Really?" You nod, "Yeah and that's what I was going to get."

After a few seconds of silence, you find yourself racing to the kitchen, trying to beat Sam to the fridge. He grabs your waist, pulling you back and spinning you away from the door, "No, it's mine!"

You turn, pushing him backwards, "No! I wanted it first!" You laugh, "It's mine!"

He wraps his arm around your waist, lifting you up so your feet are just off the floor, "No, no. It's mine." He walks you back to the couch and throws you onto it with a laugh, "Stay!"

He turns, running towards the kitchen but you leap off the couch, catching up to him and jumping onto his back.

His hands grip the back of your thighs, "Big mistake, missy."

You cover his eyes, "Oh yeah? Try finding the fridge now." He laughs, reaching one arm out in front of him, "You act like I don't have this kitchen engraved in my mind."

He walks over to the fridge and you extend an arm out, trying to stop him. He reaches up, you still clung to his back, and pulls your hand from his face, "Just.." he opens the door, "Let me.." he groans as he reaches forward for the bottle, "Have it!"

"No! It's mine!" You can't help but laugh, "Sam!"

He leans back and you slam your hands to his chest as you feel like you're going to fall, "No! Don't do that!"

He laughs and walks back, "Sit."

"No." You tighten your legs and he sighs, "Fine, we can stay here all day. I don't care." He laughs and you tilt your head, leaning over to look at him, "I'll sit.. if you promise to share it with me."

He sighs, "You're asking a lot." He smiles and looks over at you, "fine."

You hold out your pinky, "Promise."

He brings his hand up, locking his pinky with yours, "I promise."

You slide off his back onto the counter, keeping your eyes on him as he walks forward to the fridge and grabs the bottle.

He turns around, pretending like he's going to run away and you move forward, stopping when he stops, "Ha! Gotcha!"

"I hate you." You smile, rolling your eyes as you sit back comfortably, "Now, give me some." You reach out and he walks over, standing between your knees.

You take a quiet breath, looking up at him as he cracks open the drink.

You've always wanted him to fuck you on the counter. Every time you're in the kitchen with him, you have hopes of him just bending you over and-

"Y/n." Sam waves his hand in front of your face and you blink, "Hmm?"

"I said here." He holds the open drink up and you laugh, "Oh, yeah. Sorry." You take it, bringing it up to your lips.

"What are you doing? Daydreaming about me?" He teases with a smirk and you about choke on your drink, "Mm." You cover your mouth with your wrist, "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

He shrugs, "That depends."

"On what?" You tilt your head, taking a sip again and he sighs, laying his hands on your knees, "Tell me and I'll tell you."

"Mm, I see." You nod, "Okay. I was daydreaming about you... giving me the rest of this drink."

"I'll give you the rest of something." He mumbles before snatching the half full drink from your hand. He drink a little bit more of it, keeping his eyes on you as he tilts his head back slightly.

"Please do." You smirk and he shakes his head, "You'd like that too much." He hands you the drink back and steps back, "I'm going to go edit."

You let out a quiet sigh, "Okay."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

A Few Hours Later

"What are you guys thinking for dinner?" Colby asks as he walks into the editing room. You sit up from the bed, glancing at Sam, "I honestly have no idea."

"Are we going out to eat or?" Sam leans back, spinning around in the chair to face Colby.

Colby nods, "I mean, how else are we going to celebrate that we got a yes to explore the place everyone else gets a no from."

Sam jumps up from the chair, "What!?" He lays a hand on his head, "Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking with me?"

You smile, watching Sam get exited like a kid in a candy store, "I don't think he's joking, Sam."

"Show me." Sam walks over, "Show me, that god dang email." He watches intently as Colby taps on his screen, "Now do you believe me?"

Sam takes a step backwards, "Do you know what this is going to do for us, Colby?" His eyes move to you and your smile grows smaller.

It's always been hot and cold with you and Sam.

One minute you could be inches away from kissing, then the next he's taking some girl to an abandoned zoo to hang out.

You think that it's because he probably doesn't know you like him, but then at the same time, you also think, how the fuck doesn't he know?

"Congratulations guys." You say getting up from the bed, "I'm proud of you both." You go to walk out, but stop when you feel a hand on your shoulder, "and where do you think you're going?"

You laugh slightly, turning around, "To my room?"

"It better be to get dressed because you're coming, too." Sam smiles and you tilt your head, "Really?"

Colby steps in, "Y/n. You have been with us from the start. You've helped us crack some of the cases we weren't even sure we could. You're a vital part of this, so yes. Of course you're coming."

You nod, "Okay. I'll go get ready." You slowly turn and walk to your room, Colby's speech replaying in your head.

You loved both of them, Colby platonically, Sam, not so much.

You'd be his if he asked, in a heartbeat. You've loved that man since you first laid eyes on him in middle school.

But it's never been you.

You sit down at your vanity, cycling through your lip sticks as you decide on what color dress you should wear tonight.

"Hey." Sam's voice is quiet and you turn around, "Can we talk?" You nod, setting down the lipstick tube, "What's up, Sam?"

He walks over, sitting on the end of your bed. He chews on the inside of his cheek, "So, I'm thinking about inviting someone to dinner and I figured that maybe you can help her feel comfortable throughout the night? Talk with her, ya know. Be her friend?"

You're kind of shocked, but you shouldn't be. Yes, Sam shows interests in you, but it's mainly when there's not someone else trying to get his attention.

As much as you don't want to feel like a second choice, that's honestly how you end up feeling at the end of the day.

"Yeah." You smile, lying through your teeth, "Not a problem at all."

"Really?" He sighs, "Thank you. She's kind of nervous because you know how people are, and if it gets out that we're ce-"

"I know how it goes Sam." You laugh slightly, "Don't worry about it."

"I owe you one." He stands up, giving you a smile as he turns and walks away. You turn back to the mirror and see him stop.

You watch as he turns around, leaning against the doorframe, "You should wear the white dress." He knocks on the frame and smirks before he disappears.

You sit there, analyzing the situation, which you know you shouldn't do because it's just going to drive you insane, like why tell you what dress to wear?

What's it matter?

You huffed, taking a deep breath as you switch on your curling iron. You set it down, giving it time to heat up by getting all of your makeup that you're going to use out.

You paint your lips in the deep red color, smirking as you know it'll go good with that ivory white color.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

After curling your hair, you stand up, walking over to your closet and opening the doors. You push through the clothes, eyes dragging up and down every other dress option until you reach that certain one.

You take it off the hanger, turning around to lay it on your bed. You walk over to the door, getting ready to close it, when Colby's hand stops it from closing completely.

"Colby?" You question and open the door a bit more, "I'm getting ready to change."

He nods, "It'll be quick, I just want to make sure you're good."

You give him a confused look, "I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugs, "I just know big dinners aren't really your thing, so I just wanted to-"

"I'm good, Colbs. Thank you." You give him a smile, knowing that that isn't why he asked. You've been tied at the hip with them for years.

He knows you like the back of his hand, but he never wants to push to get answers from you. He knows you'll come to him if it ever came down to it.

You close the door and turn out, letting out a sigh because you weren't fine. If you didn't have such great self control, you would have smacked sense into Sam when he was sitting on the end of your bed.

You walk over, taking off your clothes to replace them with the beautiful ivory dress in front of you. It was a chiffon wrap dress with mesh sleeves, and to say the least, you were in love with it.

You walk over, bending down to find a pair of heels to match, and quickly enough, you found a pair right on top.

You make sure you have everything you need for the night before flicking the lights off as you walk out of your room.

Colby whistles as you walk down the steps and you smirk, "Boosting my ego, are we?" You walk over to him and he shrugs, "Like it's my job." He laughs and leans back against the counter to check his phone, "Yo Sam! We gotta get going, brotha."

You've got to be kidding me, you think as Sam walks down the steps. He's wearing a, pretty much, all white outfit. The only thing that isn't white are his shoes and the zipper on his jacket.

Same ivory color as your dress.

"Are we ready?" Sam asks as he opens his gold glasses to put them on. Colby laughs, "We were waiting for you, so question is." Colby points to Sam, "Are you ready?"

Sam laughs and runs his hand through his hair, "Let's do it."

You follow them towards the door and they let you walk out first. You stop before the steps, waiting for them to shut and lock the door.

You follow Colby down the steps towards the car, Sam following behind you. Colby opens your door, letting you get in first.

You sit in the back row with Colby. Sam in the row in front of you guys because, you know, he has a date and all.

"Where to?" The driver asks and Sam hums, "Mm. One second." You watch over his shoulder as he asks some, Lylah, what her address is.

Colby nudges you and you look back at him. He smiles as he shakes his head, mouthing, "What are you doing?"

You lean back, whispering to him, "Just being nosey."

You laugh, along with Colby and Sam turns around, "Secrets don't make friends you know." You raise your brows, looking down to pick at your dress with your fingers, "Lots of things don't make friends, Sam."

You force a laugh, trying to not make it seem as deep as it really is, to you at least.

You can feel Colby stare at you as Sam tells the driver where he's supposed to go and you just shake your head.

You didn't have to talk to Colby about anything, because he already knew.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You come to a stop outside a rich looking apartment building, it looks like a fancy hotel.

Sam gets out and you bend down, leaning over Colby as you peer out the window, "Shit." You whisper quietly.

"Do you know this girl, Colby?" You ask leaning back up. Colby shrugs, "I've met her once, I think? It was when we were going meet and greets, she came and hung out with us with for the day, but I barely spoke to her."

"Hmm. Okay." You nod, leaning back against the seat, watching from the corner of your eye as Sam and his lady friend walk around to get in.

There's a perfectly good door.. right there, you think, rolling your eyes subtly as her head dips into view, "Hi Colby."

"Hey. How are ya?" Colby nods and she sits down with a sigh, "I'm actually doing pretty good." Her eyes move to you, "Hi y/n." She tilts her head, "I love the dress you're wearing."

Sam gets in, glancing back at you after closing the door.

Yeah, Sam told me to wear it, is what you want to say, "Thank you, it's the chiffon wrap dress from the new collection that just dropped from Zelenki's."

"Oh, yes! I love their clothing. I just bought a pair of jeans from there the other day. I'm super excited to see them." She smiles, turning towards Sam, "We need to get this guy on their site. He would look so good in some of their button ups."

She points to Sam and you nod, "Yeah, I'm sure he would."

Her face kinda falls for a second before she blinks and brushes her bangs from her face, "So where are we going to celebrate?"

"We decided on Ambiance." Colby says and she claps her hands together, "I love going there." She looks at you, "Y/n, if you're into alcohol, they have the best martini's."

You nod, "You bet I'll be drinking tonight."

Colby taps your leg, trying not to laugh, and you shrug, "To celebrate these guys getting the deal of a lifetime."

"Well, I wouldn't say t- well, you know what. We can say that." Sam laughs, smiling as he looks back at Colby.

Colby reaches up, patting Sam's shoulder, "This year is going to be sick for us."

After arriving to the restaurant, you get out and stand next to Colby. Sam and Lylah walk around and you have to look away, because if you don't, your face will give it away that you think her dress is completely ridiculous.

It looks like a prom dress that's been cut at the thigh.

"Pretty dress." You force a smile and she slides her hand down the front to smooth it out, "Thanks. Sam actually told me to wear it, he said he wanted to do a blue and white thing to kind of match."

Her eyes graze up and down your dress, moving to Sam's outfit as she lays her hand on his chest. You can tell that it really bothers her that you and Sam are the ones who are actually matching.

It's written all over her face.

"Alright." Colby claps his hands together, "Let's go in, because I'm hungry." He wraps his arm around your waist, leading you inside a head of Sam and Laylah.

"Brock and Golbach." Colby tells the host and he nods, "Ah yes. Right this way please."

You follow Colby through the sea of tables, making your way to the one room in the back corner.

"Your waitress will be right with you." The host nods and walks away.

Colby pulls your chair out, allowing you to sit before taking his seat next to yours. Sam sits in front of Colby, Layla in front of you.

"So, she leans forward, the martini I was talking about was this one." She points her pink painted nail onto the little card, "The chocolate martini. It's to die for."

Colby sniffles, hinting that you need to be nice, so you smile, "I think that's what I'll get then. Put your trust to the test." You wink at her and lean back, looking down at your menu.

You really did want to be nice to her, but mainly because Sam asked you to. But, at the same time, he doesn't see what's right in front of him, so you also wanted to kind of give him a, hey, fuck you.

"The pomegranate martini is also really good." You look up at her and she tilts her, "Well then I guess I'll have to put your trust to the test." She smiles and you laugh slightly with a nod, "Alright then."

As time goes on, more friends of Sam and Colby come in, joining the table. Everyone orders and now you're conversing back and forth with different people.

Every so often, your eyes will move towards Sam, and his eyes will meet yours.

Every time, you ask yourself why, and even how can he be so blind?

Colby lays his arm on the top of your chair, Sam's eyes following his movements before bringing his glass to his lips. He looks over at Laylah, leaning in to take a selfie with her.

He smiles that beautiful smile and you force yourself to look away.

"so y/n. Will you be joining the boys on this exciting trip?" Laylah sets her phone down, folding her arms over one another as she leans forward.

You look between Sam and Colby, shrugging slightly, "It's ultimately up to them, but I would lo-"

Sam and Colby speak at the same time, cutting you off, "She's coming."

Not only you, but Laylah raises her brows too, "Well I guess that answers that." She laugh, bringing her wide mouthed glass to her lips, finishing the rest of her drink, "I'm going to go get another one, y/n. Care to join?"

You reach down, grabbing your glass and finishing it, "I would love to." You smile, rising from your seat, smiling to the others as you walk around the long and full table.

"So, anything new with you?" She asks as you walk up to the bar. You shrug, "Nothing really." You laugh, "I mean, nothing more than the trips to investigate the ghostly world."

She nods, "I could never do that." She looks away to raise a hand to the bartender then back to you, "Is it really as scary as the videos make it seem?"

You nod, "Oh yeah. It's one thing to watch it through a screen but it's another thing to actually be there and witness it."

She nods, "Yeah I bet." She turns, "I'll have another pomagranete martini, and she'll have.." she points to you and you lean in, "Make it two."

The bartender nods and Laylah turns back to you, "So I don't really know how to ask this." She laughs, "Um."

"Just ask. I'm an open book." You smile and your smile quickly fades when the words leave her lips, "Clearly."

"What's that supposed to mean?" You tilt your head, slightly confused as to what changed. She clears her throat, "If you have a thing for Sam, I'm going to need you to drop it."

"If I have a- what? What the hell are you talking about?" You laugh, "I don't have a thing for Sam."

"Then why did you dress to match him? Why is it that I find you looking at him every time you think I'm not looking?" She sighs, "I get it, Sam is very, very handsome, and it's okay to be a little jealous, but can you not let your jealousy seep through, because if it happens anymore, it'll literally stain my dress."

You stand there, completely dumbfounded in silence.

She turns, "Oh, thank you." She grabs the glasses, handing one to you, "Cheers." She winks and starts walking back to the table.

You follow her, your cheeks heating up as you become angry at what just happened. You take a calming breath before you pass through the doors, putting on a smile as you walk back around to your seat.

"Everything go okay?" Sam asks and Laylah smiles, glancing up at you, "Oh yeah. Everything is just perfect." She leans over, pressing a kiss to his cheek and you clench your jaw.

You bring your glass to your lips and take a long sip.

"Attention, everyone." Someone at the end of the table stands up as they clink their glass. You lean forward, looking around Colby to see and you smile when you see their friend standing there.

"I just want to say a huge congratulations to Sam and Colby for landing this investigation. This is going to be one of the biggest investigations they've ever done and I cannot be more proud of them, so without further ado, please. Give my pals a huge, huge round of applause."

Sam and Colby stand up, smiling and batting their hands. You reach out, grabbing your phone so you can record a story for Instagram.

You smile as you type the words, congratulations guys. You deserve this so, so, so much!

You tag them and set your phone back down after posting. Colby leans in, "You're a part of this, too. Don't let them saying just us fool you."

You really felt like part of the team, that was until you got back from Italy, but that'll come with time.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

After dinner and an hour or two of talking about Poveglia, the four of you make your way back to the car.

"How long will you be in Italy for?" Laylah asks laying her hand on Sam's shoulder. She twirls his hair around her finger and you roll your eyes as you look away.

"A few days, four at most. We planned on seeing Venice again while we're over that way." Sam looks at her, giving her a smile.

She smiles, her eyes glancing back at you before she runs her hair through his hair, "Do you know when you leave?"

You and Colby look at each other, giving each other a look of disgust.

You knew what she was doing, and she knew it, too.

Sam shrugs, "Probably not for another week or so."

"So we have time to spend together before you flee the country." She giggles, "I mean, that's only if you want to."

Sam nods, "I mean.. I don't see why not." He chuckles and points, "Here, I'll walk you to the door." Sam opens the door when the driver stops and helps her out.

As soon as the door shuts, word vomit.

"When I went up to bar with her to get another drink, she cornered me and pretty much flipped out on me. She said that if I have a thing for Sam I need to drop it and then asked why I dressed to match him and then she said that I took any chance I got when she wasn't look, or I thought she wasn't looking to look at him and then to top it off she said that if anymore jealously seeped out of me it would literally stain her dress."

You take a breath and look at Colby who's staring at you, "I'm sorry, what?"

"She basically sa-" you stop talking as soon as the door opens again, and Sam gets back in, turning around to look at you, "So did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah." You raise your brows, "So much fun."

The driver starts to drive you guys back home.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks and you look up, ready to snap but you bite your tongue, "I'm fine, I just.. have a headache."

"Mm." Sam nods and turns back around. He brings his phone up, "What the fuck?"

"What's going on, Sam?" Colby asks and Sam face his phone towards you and Colby, "She's literally blowing up my phone."

"Why?" You ask, and Sam scoffs, "Why is she saying that you cornered her at the bar?"

"I didn't. If you want the truth she cornered me. I literally just told Colby everything that happened as soon as you got out." You motion towards Colby, "She accused me of liking you and basically said that I dressed to match you on purpose which, Sam. If I'm correct. You told me to wear this fucking dress."

"Let's not argue in here, please." Colby says trying to defuse the situation.

"Who said we're arguing?" You and Sam say the same time and you both huff.

"Exactly." Colby shakes his head, "Can we just wait until we get h-"

"Why would she say that you did though?" Sam looks at you and you shrug, "I don't know, maybe because she knows that we're close and I was bound to tell you?"

"Were you going to tell me?" Sam tilts his head and you shake your head, "No."

"Why?"

"Because Sam. I don't really think it matters, does it." You snap and the driver awkwardly puts his hand up, "You guys are uh.." he clears his throat, "Home."

"Thank you." You all say in unison. Colby gets out and helps you out and Sam comes around, ready to keep going but you walk away.

"Really?" He says loudly, "You're just going to walk away?" We need to talk about this."

"Can we do this inside?" Colby tries again but you stop in your tracks, turning around on your heels to walk back to him, "Do you really want to know why it's really not that important Sam?"

"Guys come on." Colby groans, "Please."

Ignoring Colby, Sam nods, "Yeah. I really do."

"Because you're bound to take your new girlfriend's side anyway, so why does hearing my side even matter?" You throw your arms up, "I've been trying to get-"

You stop talking and Sam tilts his head, "Trying to get what, y/n." Sam says plainly and you snort, "I don't even.." you shake your head, "You're so blind to certain things in front of you, that you just.."

You shake your head, "I can't do this. I can't do this right now." You blink away the tears that are forming quickly and turn to go inside.

Colby is standing there with the door already open and you barge past him. Sam on your tail calling out for you, "Y/n. Wait. Wait."

You stop halfway up the steps, "it doesn't. Matter. Sam. What don't you get."

He gets pissed, "Fine. Then don't fucking tell me. If you just want to run from this like you run from everything else th-" he stops talking, quickly coming to the realization that what he said was not what he wanted to come out.

You stand there, letting the tears you tried to blink away, fall, "Fuck. You."

You turn, running up to your room, shutting the door with a slam. You grab a suitcase, sobbing as you begin to throw clothes into it.

You hear footsteps come to your door and you sniffle, holding your breath so you can try and hear who it is.

There's a knock and you sigh, nose stuffy, "Go away, Sam." You wipe your cheek with your palm and Colby speaks from the other side of the door, "It's not Sam."

You take a second, hesitating to open the door but you give in. You walk over, cracking the door open and walking away to sit on your bed.

He slips in, not opening the door more than he has to, "Hey."

You sniffle, laughing slightly, "Hey."

He walks over, sitting next to you, "Are you-"

He stops talking as you look at him with a mascara streaked face. He nods, "Right. Yeah." You shake your head, looking towards the door, "What happened to us?"

"Us? You and me were fine." He smirks and you smile slightly, "You know what I mean."

He nods, "I don't think anything happened, y/n. I think.." he pauses and you look at him, "Just say it. I know you already know so just.." you push your hands out in front of you, "Lay it on me. Can't do much more damage."

"I'm just going to tell you what I think is happening, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, okay?" He look at you and you nod.

He nods, "Okay, so what I think happened, is that you are sick of Sam not seeing that you're in love with him."

Colby's words hurt, and the fact that they're true, makes it hurt even worse.

You nod, silently as you try not to cry.

"I also think, now, I love Sam to death, and I will tell you in true honestly that I did call him out on this, but I think Sam has led you on in a way." Colby looks over to the door and back to you.

"He's not on the other side of the door listening is he?" You point to it and Colby shakes his head, "No. he's in his room, waiting for his turn with therapist Colby."

You laugh slightly, taking in a sharp breath as your urge to cry comes back, "I just.." your voice cracks with your words, "I can't keep doing this."

"I know." Colby whispers, laying his arm around your shoulder, "I know."

"The constant flirting, him telling me to wear a dress that matches him without even telling me it matches and then completely blindsiding me with, oh he wanted to do a blue and white matching theme, fuck that."

You stand up, "I just don't-" you lay your hand on your face, "We go from being so close to kissing to this?" You gently fling your arms, "I jus-" you take a deep breath, "Have fun in Italy, call me when you can."

You zip your suit case and Colby grabs it, "No, I want you to come."

"I can't be around him, Colby. As much as I want to, I just.. it'll ruin everything."

"Everything already is ruined. Sam isn't going to forgive himself for what he said." Colby stands up and you shrug, "He can figure that out on his own. I'm done trying to get myself out of these feelings. I'm done trying to act like it's okay for him to hug me from behind then act like we're friends who just met, I'm just.. done trying to get him to love me.."

You look at Colby, "I'm done trying."

Colby frowns, "Y/n."

"I'm serious Colby, I'll come get the rest of my stuff when you guys leave for Italy." You pull the handle out from your suitcase and shake your head, "Make sure to tell him everything I said."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

It's been two days since they've left for Italy.

As you're lying in bed, in your room at their house, your pillow soaked from your tears that you can't turn off, your mind slips into the good memories of you and Sam.

"No. You can't be serious, Sam." You laugh, reaching across his body for grab a card.

He watches you as you slowly lean back, "What's it say?"

"It says.. what was the last dirty message you received?" You bite your lip and tilt your head. He copies your motion and raises his eyebrows, "Can I skip?"

You shake your head, "No way, Golbach. Spill it or.." You smirk, "Take three shots." He presses his lips together and tilts his head back, looking down his nose at you, "Gimme the bottle, baby."

You bite your lip as you reach for the bottle, sliding it across the table to stop in front of him.

He pours a shot, takes it. Then another, then the third and final shot, "Now what?" He leans in, "Are you going to tell me yours?"

Your eyes move from his lips to his eyes, "What if I say no?" You bite your lip and he shrugs, raising his eyebrows, "You tell me."

You back away from each other as Colby comes down the steps, "You're playing without me? Thanks for the invite I guess."

You roll onto your other side, trying to escape them, but you just can't.

"Whatcha doin?" Sam asks waking into the kitchen. You smile as you continue to scrub the glass dish, "Dishes."

"You know we have a dishwasher, right?" He laughs and you look over at him, "Not everything is dishwasher safe, Sam."

"I'm just saying.. nothing has broken on me.. yet." He laughs and walks up behind you, "Watcha listenin' to?"

You laugh, "Music."

You feel him walk up behind you and your scrubbing gradually slows down, "Why don't you take a break, I'm sure you've done enough damage on that dish, and dance with me."

You set the dish down and look at him over your shoulder, "What?"

He grabs your waist, spinning you around, "You heard me." He smiles and takes your bubble covered hand into his, his other hand still on your hip.

He pulls you a step out away from the sink and pulls you along with him. He laughs as he steps back, sliding his other hand into hours and you lift your arms, laughing as he spins you around.

He pulls you into his chest and wraps his arms around your neck, "You know, you're fun to hang out with."

You sob into your pillow, angry at Sam all over again.

Your phone dings, and you assume that it's probably just Colby, giving you hourly updates on how their investigation is going.

You lift your head, picking up your phone when it chimes again.

Sam: I'm sorry

You force out a laugh, trying not to cry, "Don't do this." You close your eyes, "I can't." You whisper, clearing his message from your Home Screen.

You sit up, looking around at your half packed room.

You wanted to be out by the time they got back, you told Colby you were leaving, you also told him not to tell Sam.

As you stand up, throwing things into a box, your phone dings, and then a few more times, and you groan, "I swear to.. fuck." You groan, leaning down to grab it, eyes watering at each message you read.

Sam: I want you so much. You're all I fucking think about. please. Talk to me. I need to I don't know, explain my self I guess? I wasn't ready I didn't think I was ready to actually settle down and I know that's what you want or wanted with me Y/n Please don't just read these

An incoming call from Colby interrupts your stare at the texts that are still coming through, "Hello?"

"Please don't kill him." Colby says frantic on the other end of the phone. You furrow your brows, sniffling, obvious that you've been doing nothing but crying, "What are you-"

There's banging on the front door.

Loud, repetitive, non stop banging.

"What's fucking happening?" You pull your phone away from your ear, seeing Sam's texts,

Open the door I left everything in Italy

You put the phone back up to your ear, "Why is he here"

Colby sighs, "Just talk to him."

"No." You snap and Colby talks immediately, "Look, y/n. Neither one of us can do this investigation. We have to convince the people who own this to reschedule our visit. Sam couldn't keep it together for the intro."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Now please." He sighs, "Just go. Open. The door."

"Fine." You hang up, making your way down the steps. You move the curtain on the door and look out at a soaking wet Sam.

"Please." His words are muffled from the door being shut, but you can still tell what he's saying, "I love you."

You clench your jaw, unlocking the door and opening it, "Where was that before all of this?" You step out side the door, the pouring rain coming down onto you now, "do you know how painful it was to have feelings for someone you can't be with?"

"Y/n." Sam shrugs, lifting his hands from his sides, but you keep going, "Do you know how many times, I've wished for you to not be in love with someone else? Then you go and hang out with a girl at a place you took me to first?"

"I'm sorry." His voice cracks, "Just please.. let-"

"I was jealous that night Sam, the night you asked me to play nice with your new girlfriend, Laylah. I was so fucking jealous Sam. But do you know how fucking stupid I felt? Being jealous over someone that wasn't even mine?"

He nods and you scoff, "I don't think you do because if you would have asked me to be yours, I would have said yes in a fucking heartbeat and don't even come back with the you should have asked me, because I know damn well that you could tell I loved you, Colby even picked up on it before you did."

Sam stands there, staring at you, eyes red from crying.

Hair dripping wet from the rain, you can't judge him because you look the same way.

"We're almost the literal definition of he likes her, she likes him. It's obvious to everyone except them.. but the only difference is, I knew what I wanted. I wanted you and all you did was lead me on."

Tears mix in with the beads of rain that form on your cheeks, your voice breaking, "It shouldn't have come to this, Sam."

You stand still as he walks up to you, "Y/n."

"It.." you sniffle, "It feels like you destroyed me, Sam."

"Let me fix it." He mumbles as he slides his hands over your cheeks, tilting your head up so you can look at him, "Please." He rests his forehead against yours, "Let me fix it."

"There's nothing-"

He cuts you off, "Don't say there's nothing to do. Because there's everything to do."

You sob quietly, his hands still on your cheeks. His thumbs brush gently over your wet skin, "I called whatever it was off with Laylah the night we got into it. The night you left me."

Your eyes meet his, "Why."

"Because I knew that my forever was walking out that door and I knew I had to do everything in my power to get it back." He sniffles, "You've supported me since day one. You've loved me.. since day one."

"Why now, Sam? Why after you flew all the way to Italy? Why after it took me telling Colby I was done with everything? It shouldn't have come to this."

He doesn't say anything, the rain smacking against the pavement fills your ears.

You reach up, grabbing his wrists to pull them away but he presses his lips to yours.

As much as you want to pull away, you can't.

"Sam." You slide your hands around his neck, lips moving with his as he slides his hands down to pull your hips against his.

"Please." He whispers, sniffling as he gently brushes his nose again your cheek, "Y/n."

You stay silent, the only sound that comes from you is a few sniffles.

"I can't do anything without you." Sam wipes your cheeks with his thumbs, "I wish I knew how stupid I was being. I tried to push you away because I didn't want to hurt you. I wasn't ready, but y/n, sweetheart, the risk of you walking out of my life forever has made me realize that I want you. I want you in so many ways, it's actually kind of insane."

You look up at him, "It shouldn't have taken.. this.. for you to finally realize what you want, Sam."

He shakes his head, "I won't ever let it get to that point ever again, because you're mine." He lifts you up, your legs hugging his waist like they've always dreamed of doing.

Your arms snake around his neck, not saying another word as he walks through the door, kicking it closed, "I promise."

You lean in, hugging him as he walks over to the couch. He sits down and you moving your legs to straddle his lap.

You lean back, hands sliding around his neck to cup his wet cheeks. Your eyes move around his face, back and forth between his eyes before you lean in, pressing your lips to his.

The heat you have always dreamed up, felt every time your eyes met his, is there.

And it's hotter than ever.

"I love you." Sam whimpers against your lips, "I'm so sorry."

You shake your head, "We can talk later. Right now.. I just.." you rest your forehead against his, "Wanna be with you."

He nods, sweeping your body over to lay under his. His lips kiss from your him, down your neck, "I wish.. I knew how to love you like this before."

You run a hand through his hair, unsure of what to say. He kisses back up to your lips, "Do you want to do this?"

You nod, tugging at his shirt, "Please."

He leans up, pulling his soaked shirt up over his body and tossing it onto the floor. You sit up and he does the same to your shirt, "You're so fucking beautiful."

His lips reconnect to yours and you moan quietly as he slowly grinds against you. He kisses back to your ear, his voice quiet, almost sounding like it's going to break, "You were the only girl I could ever think about."

Your eyes start to burn and you turn your head, reaching up to grab his so you can turn it towards you and kiss you.

The kiss is hot. Full of passion.

It's what you wanted all along.

He slides his hands down, slipping them into your rain soaked sweatpants. He pulls them down your legs, and reaches for the button on his pants, popping them open as he leans back down to kiss you.

He stands up, discarding his wet jeans to the floor before hovering his body back over yours.

He pushes his boxers down, just enough for his cock to spring free and he slips your panties to the side. Not wasting another second, he drops his head to your shoulder as he slowly slips his cock into you, burying it deep inside with a groan.

You gasp, clinging to him as you tighten your legs around his waist, breathing out a whiney, "Sam."

His nose brushes against your cheek as he lifts his head, "I love you, I'm so sorry." He pulls out, slowly thrusting back in, "I'm so sorry."

You wrap your arms around his neck, gasping with each thrust into you, "I love you." Your voice breaks, a small moan following after, "I've always loved you."

"I wish I knew I could have loved you like this." He kisses down your neck and back up, groaning lowly in your ear, "I wish I knew what I was risking."

You squeeze your eyes shut, a tear slipping down and falling down your cheek, "Don't ever.." you tangle your fingers in his hair, "Don't ever leave."

"Never." He pulls one of your hands down, interlocking it with his against your head as he lifts his to look at you, "I love you. No one could ever take your place."

You smile slightly and nod, "I'm holding you to it."

"As long as you need, baby." Sam smiles and sighs, "You were made for me." He kisses your lips, groaning against them as he thrusts harder but still slow.

You drag your nails up his back, moaning as he moves his head down to suck a mark into your neck.

His grip on your hand tightens, "I love you so fucking much."

You weren't ever going to get sick of hearing that.

You were relieved to finally be hearing it in the first place.

"I love you." You whisper, moaning as he lets go of your hand to bring it down to squeeze your boob. You tug his hair, arching your back as much as you can against his, "S-Sam."

"Cum with me, babe. Can you hold it?" He rests his forehead against yours as his fingers twist your nipple between his fingers.

You whimper, giving his a slight nod and he hums in response, "Almost there, sweetheart."

He thrusts a few moments longer before he kisses your cheek a few times, "Okay, okay, let go for me. Cum for me." His voice is quiet and his thrusts slow down as he feels you clench around him.

You let out a loud moan, pulling him into you as your nails dig into his skin.

He groans, pulling you closer by the hips, "F-fuck, fuck." He pulls out, letting his cum spill onto your lower stomach with a low moan.

You rest your head back, breathing heavy as your body relaxes.

He reaches down, grabbing his damp shirt and wiping you off. He tosses it down and holds his hand out, "Come here."

He pulls you to a sitting position and you immediately fall into him. He wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly, "I'm sorry it took me this long to realize."

"Better late than never, right?" You look up at him and he nods, "I guess." He smiles, pressing his lips to your forehead, "Go get a shower, standing out in the rain might get you sick."

"Only if you'll come with me. I'm not doing anything without you for a while."

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Genuinely sorry if this sucked. I'm not sure how I feel about it, honestly. So tell me how you liked it.

As always, thanks for reading & I love you!

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated 🖤

[taeiun]

this love is small.

synopsis: some of the little things that they do in your relationship

who: zb1 x gn!reader (not including yujin)

categories: fluff, some crack, headcanon styled scenarios

warnings: mentions of food in jiwoong + taerae's parts, light swearing

word count: 1.1k

✧ JIWOONG !

✧ jiwoong gains a newly formed sixth sense when it comes to your needs; he knows your favourite snacks by heart and also picks up if you guys are low on them without even looking at the cabinet.  you don’t even need to ask him to grab a snack for you because he’ll just know. probably knows when those foods are on sale before you even open your mouth to tell him. like, he’s probably already picked up three bags of those chips you really enjoyed last time and they’re waiting on the counter for you.

✧ will send you a notes app shopping list so that you don’t get jumped scared by the random appearance of shrimp chips and sour candies constantly and wonder how they got there half the time when you both haven’t even talked about being out of them.

✧ ZHANG HAO !

✧ hao keeps a collection of short, vlog-like recordings of the two of you in a private, for his eyes only folder on his phone. he watches these whenever he misses you or feels down and needs a pick me up. these videos will range from past dates, his commentary as he records you sleeping, to not even a two second moment of you laughing. you might find the angles unflattering, but he treasures each and everyone, watching them with a goofy ahah smile on his face.

✧ the others have 100% definitely, not even up for question, walked in on him in the middle of a watching session. he’ll just be sitting curled up in bed, blanket draped around him, with the lights turned off and earbuds plugged into his phone. this ends two ways. 1) the member leaves before he can notice and all is well or 2) they tease him only to end up with a pillow to the face

✧ HANBIN !

✧ whenever he’s on tour or can’t see you for long periods of time, hanbin will keep a list of things that happen throughout the days he’s gone to share with you. he never wants you to feel left out of his life and wants full communication with things. he can send you all the pictures you want of his travels, but nothing beats the actual stories.

✧ he mainly keeps tabs of things he did but will include the members’ shenanigans if he thinks they’ll make you laugh. starts a new list every time he has to leave and each one is dated, the activities labeled for what day and the time gone written at the top.

✧ MATTHEW !

✧ a big chatterbox when it comes to you, especially when it comes to his family. phone calls, messages, will even in emails to relatives, the conversation will drift to you no matter the topic. the only criteria needed for this to happen is for someone to simply breath in his direction.

✧ matthew pivots the conversation so fast that it gives his family whiplash. they aren’t complaining though; it’s nice to see him so happy and they can tell just how much he cares about your relationship. he wants them to love you as much as he does and by telling them these fond memories, he’s sure they will.

✧ TAERAE !

✧ the silly man he is, taerae will send you selfie updates throughout the day of where he is. you could probably make and sell your own bootleg, limited edition, taerae of zb1 pcs with how many you get from him. from walks to the company building to convenience store runs, he’s always sending you a picture of when he leaves to when he arrives at the destination as a way of assurance he’s safe.

✧ stores all of these in a folder labeled “for yn and yn only” and refuses to post them publicly, no matter how good you tell him some of them are. the background settings of his photos are always interesting. sometimes the members will be there, sometimes it’s while he’s in a storage closet. it’s funny until you wake up to find selfies of him at mcdonalds at 4 am with a handful of chicken nuggets shoved in his mouth.

✧ RICKY !

✧ spoils you so much. he knows that love doesn’t mean the amount of money you spend on someone but he can’t help but buy trinkets that remind him of you. the thought process is basically just: ��oh. this kind of looks like yn.” and proceeds to checkout with a ditto keychain. ricky pays close attention to what type of accessories you tend to wear and prefer for this very reason. if your ears are pierced, you’ll find a new pair waiting for you on your desk that look eerily similar to his… like what? nooooo he totally didn’t go and buy subtle matching stuff pfttt nah- ok yes. please wear it; coordinate matching outfits with him.

✧ also, don’t bother asking for the prices of these things. he’ll never tell you because he knows that you’ll pay him back and he doesn’t want that. he doesn’t expect anything back and wants to make sure that you understand that he wants to do these things. you also probably won’t want to know because oof scary.

✧ GYUVIN !

✧ omfg he will abuse voice memo privileges to hell and back in order to let you in on dumb jokes and random thoughts. gyuvin constantly has his phone close within his reach just because of this so that he never misses the chance to blow your mind with… whatever falls from his mouth. even when in bed. the voice memos range from “i love you so much i don’t know what i’d do without you” to “did you know you are always within three meters of a spider?”. you never know if you’ll be swooning or sleeping with one eye open with these.

✧ the worst ones come at night for sure; he’ll wake up suddenly, blindly search for his phone, string together a weird ass sentence that only he’d be able to decipher, send it, then knock himself out again and sleep without remorse for his actions. he should be paying for your icloud with how much storage he clogs with those messages.

✧ GUNWOOK !

✧ he’s classically cheesy in a way and sends you screenshotted song lyrics that describe his feelings or remind him of you. “#LiterallyUs” and it’s paper rings by taylor swift. can be unserious about it though. one time, you couldn’t hang out with him because of exams and he responded with “tell me why / ain’t nothin but a heartache”.

✧ there are times where gunwook will not only send the lyrics, but also a clip of him singing that certain part of the song. he mainly sends these versions at night from the bathroom, and you wonder how none of the others have stormed into the room and told him to shut up.

^ . _ . ^ !? told myself to take it easy and not post again this week but um... this is a heavily edited fic from my old blog @/luvjiun that ive been meaning to repost. hehe ok junjun out >_<

© taeiun 2023. all rights reserved. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim any of my writing as yours.

[museenkuss]

“How I transformed my body in 90 days” type video but I’m becoming a Renaissance Woman. Vlog footage of me reading the classics for hours on end, writing vocabulary lists, drawing in my sketch book to epic music. On day 15 I talk about how I’m slowly adjusting to my elaborate home cooked meals and how I struggle with the genealogy of the Borgias. There are montages of me educating myself on history, astrology, astronomy and dressing well, I take horseback riding lessons and go to museums. Erasmus, Machiavelli and Lucretius are stacked on my bedside table.

There’s a segment where I say “it’s day 53 and I’m really struggling… I can’t even write a sonnet. I don’t see any improvement in myself. Is this even worth it?!” The stakes are rising. I’m shown ripping up pages of rhymes in calligraphy. I swear as I rush around the kitchen, trying to prepare my oysters. I sit at my desk and sigh, head in hands, my desk covered in stacks of notes, huge volumes on art history and printed out articles. The dramatic moment comes when I for the nth time try to walk and gesture with sprezzatura while balancing books on my head for better posture. I fall. The books topple to the floor. I’ve reached rock bottom.

Black screen. Voice over: “It was really hard. I felt like Dante, in the dark forest, having lost my way. And then, I realised what I needed: I had to go on a grand tour.”

Music swells again, there’s a montage of me packing and travelling in busses and trains. Landscape rushes past. I read Goethe’s Italienische Reise on the journey. Finally, there are snippets of me in Munich, in Vienna. I take a selfie in front of Parmigianino’s self portrait in a convex mirror, showing off my own elegantly contorted hand. I’m in Florence, breathing heavily with excitement as I walk along the outside walls of the Galleria degli Uffizi. “Oh my god, there he is—“ I film the Petrarch statue, the phone visibly shaking. “I can’t believe I get to meet him…” I whisper with awe. Cut. I’m blowing a kiss at the right Grace in Botticelli’s Spring (I have a crush on her). I’m in the Loggia di Psiche in Rome, I’m kneeling on a bridge in Venice to touch it, “Tintoretto walked on these very stones..”, I’m filming the ceiling of the Camera Degli Sposi in Mantua. I’m in the streets of Grasse showing off a bottle of Fragonard perfume I bought, I’m teary eyed in front of the Concerto Campestre in the Louvre. Cut.

I’m back home. “It’s now day…79. Those were the most unrealistic two weeks of my life. And the most expensive. But now I’m back on track. I feel like I can really do this.” With newfound vigour I get back to my battered Reclam German/Latin edition of Ovid’s Metamorphosis. Day 81, 85, 89. Emotional/hopeful music. I show a Shakespeare sonnet written in beautiful calligraphy. I’m in the museum sketching the composition of an annunciation and taking notes on a Venus by Cranach. I practice a speech I’ve written following Cicero’s rules on rhetoric. I’m back on horseback. I present a cake of some sort.

DAY 90. I’m at my desk. “Wow, what a journey. Now let’s see the transformation I underwent in those 90 days.” I show side by side footage of me from day 1 and day 90. I look the same, except day 90 me is wearing all black, Castiglione style, and has better posture. Back to the desk. “I changed so much. I learned so much about myself and my limits. I’m still not fluent in Latin or Italian. But what I learned is that beauty is everywhere, especially in the struggle, and it’s worth cherishing. And now, I’m back and stronger and more curious than ever. If you haven’t followed me on tumblr @Museenkuss at this point, what are you doing? Click the follow button and give this post a like because NOW, the fun really begins. A renaissance woman never stops learning.” From under the desk, I grab two books and put them on my desk. The Tale of Genji and Sei Shōnagon’s pillow book. “It’s time to expand my horizon.” Black screen.

[daengtokki]

𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: 8.5k

rating: mature/explicit ಇ

comments: part three was heavily edited from it's original version. There are most likely some grammatical errors that I've glossed over from staring at the screen for so long. Feel free to send a message and let me know if you see anything wildly wrong.

→ PART ONE

→ PART TWO

Part 3 of 4

“You can’t be nervous if I’m nervous.”

He’s right. You take a deep breath and turn to face him again. Kiss him on the lips. Your free hand snakes around his waist, finds the hem of his shirt, and tucks underneath to run over his skin.

His muscles tighten for a second, then slowly relax as your hand moves upward against his side and back across his shoulder blade. He sighs as you touch him.

You haven’t felt this much of his body until now.

-

Your plane lands four hours later than scheduled. You’re tired, hungry, and your back is killing you. Korea Air is fine, and it always has been, but 13 hours in coach is something you’ll never get used to.

There were no plans to travel home up until three days ago, and it’s a miracle you got the week off to deal with your family. As much as you hate doing it, you don’t mind a change of scenery and a break from your typical work days in Korea.

Honestly, this is the perfect solution to the loneliness and monotony. It was only three weeks ago that you finally got to see Seungmin again, but it’s been a long three weeks. And he has kept his promise of keeping in touch.

Every single day since date number two, he's sent at least one text. You try to send messages only when he does, but occasionally you can’t help yourself, and you send something in the middle of your work day, or right before you go to bed. You’re still a little worried about being a bother, and holding back your clingy-ness has been difficult, but he always sends something back. Not always right away, but he does answer. And he sends selfies often—those texts are your favorite.

You have failed to mention that you’ve been on your way to Chicago (he sent a text about two hours ago, letting you know the first two shows had gone well), and that you’d be arriving the day before he would also be in the same city. But you’ll let him know soon. You don’t have much hope for getting to see him while you’re both here; he’s busy, and the last thing you want to do is bother him during a tight schedule. But he's been the only thing on your mind for weeks.

You managed to get a ticket to the Chicago concert the night you realized you be in town for it, but it wasn’t cheap. Even if you don’t get to see him alone, seeing him on stage will be worth the price.

____

“Who are you talking to?”

There’s a giggle in his ear, and a sharp chin lands on his shoulder. “Why are you smiliiing?”

IN grabs Seungmin’s shoulders and takes a seat directly behind him, giving him a good view of the phone in his friends hands.

“Don’t be nosy.”

“Is it the girl you’ve been talking to?”

Seungmin half turns and stares at IN, then looks him up and down, “What are you talking about?”

IN stares back wordlessly, a grin plastered on his face. He’s squinting his eyes at him accusingly. “I’m talking about the girl you’re always texting.”

Seungmin picks up his iced coffee, takes a sip, then releases himself from IN’s stare.

IN follows him across the room.

“Send her a cute selfie.”

“I already did.”

“Oh, haha!” He beams with pride at thinking he got him to slip up. “Did she send one back? Can I see her?”

“No. And no.”

“I won’t tell anyone else, I promise.”

“How did you know if nobody else knows?”

IN stops and thinks for a moment, then he side-eyes the other two members that are currently in the same room. They’re too far away to hear the conversation, but Seungmin stands and heads over to them.

“Chan?”

Chan turns and looks at him with a smile. He doesn’t get a chance to speak before Seungmin does.

“Did you tell IN about her?”

It takes him a few seconds to process what he’s being asked. “No, no…I didn’t tell anyone.” his voice lowers as he realizes what they’re talking about.

“How does he know?”

Chan peaks around him at IN, who’s already staring wide eyed. He beckons him over with two fingers, and he runs over, unbothered.

“How do you know?” He asks softly, very curiously. “I didn’t tell you.”

“I just guessed.”

Seungmin and Chan stare, speechless.

“I always see him smiling and laughing while he’s texting, and then taking selfies. I didn’t know he was actually texting…” he looks around at the others that just walked into the room. “…texting someone.” He whispers the last part.

“The less people that know, the better…” Chan says, but casually, as if he knows he doesn’t really have to tell IN. “It’s nothing serious, right Seungmin?”

“Huh…” he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. “Oh um, no…it’s not.”

Chan stares a little longer, “is it?”

Seungmin feels like his mind is being read. “We just talk a lot.”

He nods and leaves it at that. IN smiles at Seungmin once more before walking off. Then he pulls his phone out to check his notification.

Sounds like you guys had a good time. I did catch some fan videos from last night!

He smiles at the text, and then wonders what you’re doing up at four in the morning.

____

You pull out your phone, hoping the buzz in your pocket is him.

What are you doing up so late? Are you okay?

Oh, you forgot about the time difference. Maybe it’s time to let him know you’re not in Korea.

“I’m okay. I just landed in Chicago. I had a family thing come up, and I had to come home. I promise I’m not following you.”

You see him typing a few seconds after your message is delivered.

oh, you’re from Chicago! That’s so exciting that you’re here. Are you coming to the concert tomorrow night? Please come!

Before you have time to reply, he’s typing again…

Maybe not if you have family to see

“No, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it”

let me know what seats you have…maybe I can get you closer

You’re trying to text him and stuff your bags into the trunk of you moms car at the same time.

“I don’t think they’re very close, but I’ll let you know as soon as I get home”

don’t worry, I’ll figure something out

“What are you so smiley about?” Your mom asks and slams the trunk shut.

“Just a text.”

____

“Sooo…”

“Soooo what?” Seungmin glances at IN. He has an inkling about what he’s getting at, and he’s trying not to indulge him too much. But Seungmin will admit that if any of them were going to find out prematurely, he's glad it was him.

“Can I see her?” He’s careful and quiet saying it. “Please?”

“Fine, give me a second.” He types a quick message and then pulls up the photos you’ve both shared. He finds one of the very few selfies you’ve sent him and shoves it a few inches from IN’s face.

He looks and his eyes widen, smirk grows. “Oh she’s not…” he stops himself and lowers his excited voice, “she’s not Korean? Oh she sent a text.” He giggled and tries to finish reading before Seungmin pulls the phone back.

“No, she’s not.”

“Where is she from?”

“Chicago. She’s here now, too.”

“Oh she’s gonna come see us tomorrow!”

Seungmin nods and types, “yeah, she is coming. I need to get her a better seat.”

“Sneak her into soundcheck.“

____

The next morning, you wake up to the buzzing of a text notification. A Seungmin message. You open it up and squint through sleepy, jet-lagged eyes. It’s barely 8 am. You slept an entire ten hours, at least.

Good morning 🤍 if you’re able to, come down to the venue at around 2!

A close-up selfie follows. You can only see his eye, a peace sign, and a little bit of hair.

And a heart emoji. That combination is a first.

You reply, set an alarm, and immediately fall back asleep.

And luckily, you don’t sleep through it. At eleven, you’re up, nervous, showered, more nervous, and then when it’s time to figure out your wardrobe, you feel like you’re going to puke. Knowing you’ll see Seungmin is keeping most of your nerves at bay, but the fact that it’ll be at an arena of this size, with this many people (you assume there will be a massive amount of fans already hanging around that early, because you know how concerts here are), and throw in the possibility of meeting his friends…you’re nervous.

____

It’s as busy near the venue as you expected. And you find yourself enjoying it, surprisingly. Seeing all of the fans gathered around and clearly having a good time, despite the heat, is nice.

You jump out of your Uber and send a text to Seungmin. You need a more accurate location to head to, but for now you don’t mind wandering around and people watching. Just a glance at someone seems to immediately give away their favorite member, and you make it a point to look for anyone who prefers your favorite.

A text message buzzes before you get too far.

there is a staff entrance at the box office, just walk in and pretend like you belong

That sounds like a terrible idea, but you trust him and head in that direction. It’s not very busy there, because the tickets have long since sold out, but there are staff members milling around. You don’t look like you belong, but you also know that attitude and demeanor can get you far, so…

____

Seungmin only mentioned his plan (IN’s, really) to Chan about ten minutes prior to his last message to you.

“I don’t know if that was the best idea,” he says. “Is she already here?”

“Yes, she’s somewhere outside. And I know.”

“Okay, I might have a solution. Wait here.”

Chan disappears for a few minutes, and in the meantime, Seungmin actually starts to feel a little nervous. His plan was simple: have you walk casually in through the staff entrance he’s already seen used many times that days, by many different people—some with and some without staff shirts or lanyards.

“Even if she gets in using your terrible plan,” Chan returns, and behind him is a man much larger and taller than either of them. “She can’t walk around alone or with you the entire time.”

“She gets her own bodyguard!”

“Chaperone. And she won’t look too out of place with him. “

“Thanks, Chan. Thank you, Jay.”

“No problem, buddy. Let’s go find her before she gets lost.” Jay pats Seungmin on the back and leads him down the hallway. “What does she look like?”

It’s a long walk toward the entrance, but both of them scan every person and group as they pass by. It gives the butterflies in his stomach more time to move up to his chest and throat.

“She’s right there!” Seungmin waves and gets your attention before approaching. He doesn’t want to make a scene, so he waits until none of the venue staff is around.

You have a hard time containing yourself when you finally catch sight of him. You don’t remember him ever smiling as wide as he is right now, and it makes your legs tremble a little.

You wave and wait for him to reach you.

“Hey…” Seungmin stands a few feet from you. He seems a little uneasy.

The man following behind him is obviously trying to keep some distance, but not too much distance. “I can turn away if it makes you both more comfortable.”

“No Jay, you’re fine,” Seungmin laughs but doesn’t look away from you.

“Is this your bodyguard?”

“He is, actually. But today he’s going to hang out with you so you don’t look out of place, and you have someone who knows what’s going on.”

“Oh, that's a relief.”

“But I’ll take you to our dressing room if you’d like…if you want to meet everyone."

"I'm...I do, but do you think it's too much? I mean, too much too soon?"

"Meeting them?" He thinks about it. His mouth is pushed to one side, puffing up his cheek. "I don't mind if you want to wait. We can always just go right out by the stage for soundcheck. You'll see them out there, they'll probably see you. You'll be a mystery."

"I like that idea. Maybe afterward I'll feel better about it."

He nods and waves Jay over. He still hasn’t taken his eyes off of you.

“You look nice.” He lowers his voice and and drops his gaze to the floor. But you can still see his smile.

____

You’re sitting a few rows back from the main stage. Your chaperone is a few yards away and much more relaxed out here. There are so many people working the sound check that your extra face is hardly out of place, so now you feel like you can relax and enjoy the view.

All eight of them are on stage, along with a few band members, and some techs. There’s a camera filming everything just off stage, and another directly on stage with them. You watch Seungmin as he interacts with it. He looks relaxed and happy. No more worry in his eyes.

You get out the earplugs he gave you, but for now you just enjoy listening to him speak into his mic and headset. He looks at you a few times, but subtly, trying not to direct too much attention.

One of the others keeps looking your way, you assume out of confusion or curiosity. Or both. It’s Lee Know. You watch as he walks along the edge of the stage closest to where you’re sitting. Another member joins him and looks out; this one is smiling, almost as wide as Seungmin smiled at you earlier. You know who everyone is thanks to the endless videos you've watched. It's IN.

You try not to make too much eye contact, but you don’t avoid them completely. They seem to know who you are.

Your chaperone appears next to again and takes a seat, “having a good time?”

“I am, thank you for dealing with me.”

“No problem, anything for these boys.”

“Do you know them well?”

“I’ve been working with them for a while now, so I’d say I do. How’d a girl like you meet Mr. Kim?”

The Mr. Kim is said with a bit of sarcasm, but a cute, playful sarcasm. And by a girl like you, you assume he means an American.

“I live in Korea, near where he grew up. We met through a friend. Do we seem like a weird match? I mean…we’re not a couple—"

“Are you sure about that? He’s looking at you right now with those big puppy dog eyes.”

Jay points up to Seungmin. When you look, he quickly smiles and waves before running back to the center of the stage.

____

Your adrenaline is off the charts at the end of the concert. You had an idea of what to expect from footage of other concerts, but being there in person, watching them…watching him, was obviously on another level. You feel like you’ve been introduced to a new little part of Seungmin’s personality. You feel closer to him.

Now you’re back outside in the fresh night air. You haven’t heard from him yet, but you’re not surprised. He’s probably exhausted. You stick around, though. He didn’t mention anything about seeing each other after the concert ended, so you don’t assume anything or get your hopes up (even though they are, by default, always up when it comes to him).

A small group of girls—you can’t really tell how old, maybe around your age—find a place to sit near you. They’re understandably excited and very loud, so you listen in as they talk about their favorite parts, favorite songs, and biases. The loudest of the group is a Felix fan. You sneak a glance at them and one of them notices you.

She waves, “are you here alone?”

You look around and then point to yourself, “Me? Oh, yeah I am.”

The rest of them wave you over with such enthusiasm that you can’t possibly deny them your presence.

“Was it your first concert? It was mine, but not theirs. We’re flying to California for the first two next week.” The girl who looks the youngest, and has a Han Quokka plush strapped to her gestures to the whole group. “Are you going to any more?”

“This is the only one I got a ticket for, so probably not.

“Who’s you bias?” The one who spoke to you first asks.

You hesitate for a moment. Who is your bias?

“It’s Seungmin.”

The girl continues talking, but you’re distracted by the buzzing of your phone. It’s him.

you are still around, yeah?

“Of course! I’m outside”

Now he’s calling. “Sorry, I gotta get this!” You excuse yourself from the group and answer.

“Hi, it’s a little loud out here.”

“Okay, I just figured calling would be easier. Come back in the way you did earlier, I’m already here.”

“Okay, I’m near there. Give me 10 seconds.”

He starts counting down…

“Okay…nine…”

You laugh and speed up a little—

“Eight…”

—but there are more people here and dodging them is not easy.

“Seven…six…five…”

“Count slower!”

“Fooooouur…three…”

You see the door and push through a couple much harder than you intend, but your hand is pushing the door open just as Seungmin says—

“Two! You did it!”

He’s a good distance away, but you can see his smile. He takes a few steps toward you, but lets you finish closing the gap. He holds out his arms and pulls you into a hug, which catches you off guard. You’re surprised oh makes him giggle. There’s nobody around except for Jay, but it still feels very bold.

“You were amazing.” You squeeze him a little tighter around the waist, and he reciprocates.

“Thank you…I hope you had a good time.”

“I did,” you slowly release him but keep a bit of his shirt clenched in your fist. “What’s your plan for tonight?”

“Hotel tonight…and I think we are leaving in the morning. Unless they change things last minute, which sometimes happens.”

“Well, at least you don’t have to leave right away. It’d be nice if you stayed in Chicago a little longer, though.”

“Yes, it would be nice.” You see him glance at Jay and lower his voice. “I can let you know which hotel, though. And I’ll text you my room number.“

“Oh?” You feel your face getting hot, and Seungmin’s cheeks have definitely turned a shade of pink.

“Unless I have to share the room.”

“Well, you just let know which hotel. And we’ll figure something out if we need to.”

He nods shyly and takes your face in his hands. He doesn’t pull you in for a kiss, though, just gently rubs his thumb over your cheek. And it’s somehow even better.

“I have to go, but I’ll text you.” He disappears with Jay around the corner.

And then you panic a little, because you weren’t ready for a hotel invitation. You’re having flashbacks of the last date, and how heavy things got for just a few minutes. And how Seungmin reacted, because he hasn’t gone that far with anyone yet.

Maybe that isn’t what he was getting at. You’ve spent plenty of time with him alone in your apartment, why would being alone in his hotel be any different?

It’s just a feeling. Just in the way he lowered his voice and blushed. Things will play out how they’re supposed to, though. No pressure. You’d never put him in an uncomfortable situation.

It might be a good idea to prepare anyway.

Going home seems pointless, because the hotel is most likely here in the city. You don’t want to waste time traveling home and then back. You’re already short on time as it is.

But when you find a convenience store to pop into, you get a look at yourself in the mirror. It could be worse, you suppose. It was a hot day, and the concert was no different. Besides, Seungmin has already seen you like this. It can’t be that bad.

But you do buy a water to chug, gum, and when you pass by the condoms, you stare at them for far too long. Buying them means you expect something to happen, and you feel weird about expecting it for some reason. Not buying them and being unprepared seems worse, though.

You grab a pack. You grab two, actually. You did get a quick feel of him before. And you remember it well. Now you just have to deal with the awkwardness of checking out with two different sizes of condoms.

You stuff your purchases between the mess of other things in your bag and walk aimlessly for a few blocks. It’s still crowded down here, even though it’s getting late, and you can’t help but start worrying when almost an hour passes with no text from a Seungmin.

Maybe you should have gone home and waited.

But just as the thought crosses your mind, you get a message.

“Here’s the address, and my room number is 1344.”

Your heart starts to race when you read it. He has his own room, so things will at least be easy. And the address is only another two blocks away.

____

You text him when you get to his room instead of knocking. You’re afraid to make any unnecessary noise. He's shuffling around in the room before the latch clicks and the doorknob turns.

Somehow every time you see him, he’s even better looking.

The door is closed and locked behind you before either of you speak.

“Hi…you got here fast!”

“I was close by. Was I too fast?” You look him up and down. He’s in sweatpants and a black t-shirt, and his hair is a little damp.

“No, definitely not. As long as I don’t look like a wet dog.”

“No, you look very handsome,” you grab a handful of his shirt and pull him toward you. “It’s a good look.”

He leans forward and kisses you on the forehead. Another romantic gesture. It gives you butterflies. You like it, but you can't help but be baffled by his very bold and distinct romantic gestures. Three weeks ago he had a hard time with your hypothetical dating question. But that was three weeks ago.

“Do you want something more comfortable to wear? I can give you one of my shirts.

Okay, so maybe he does want you to spend the night, “Yes, I'd like that.”

He grabs one from his bag and shakes it out. Then he brings it to his face to smell it, “this is clean.”

“Thanks,” you hold it up and look at it.

“It not very big on me, so it should fit okay.”

You head into the bathroom and look at yourself again, try to get the butterflies in your stomach to calm down. Big breath in, slow breath out. It doesn’t seem like he’s trying to drive you crazy, but he’s doing a very good job.

You start taking off your necklaces, your bracelets, and then peel off your shirt that’s long since dried from the sweating you did all day. You check yourself for any offending odors, and even though it’s not bad, you take the time clean up the best you can.

It’s been a while since you had to do a sink bath before a potential lay. And every single one before this wasn’t even worth it. Seungmin is different, though.

Now you wonder if this is the way you want things to go. In a hotel, very little preparation. But you may not see him again for a while after tonight. And if this feels good for him, it's good for you.

There is still the possibility that he won’t be ready.

You slip into his shirt, and it's still pretty big. The sleeves reach your elbows and the bottom hem just covers your shorts. You could walk out without them and he might not even realize it—you take them off and fold them up neatly with your shirt and jewelry, look at yourself one more time, and then head back out to him.

“Oh, that looks good on you,” he turns from his seat at the edge of the bed, then pats his hands on the spot next to him. “Come here.”

As you climb onto the bed and crawl toward him, he slowly lies down on his back. “Are you tired?”

“No, not tired,” he props himself up on his elbow to get a better look at you. “Not yet...it takes a while to relax after a concert." He pulls at the hem of your shirt and his fingers slide across your thigh. He takes his hand away, so you grab it and put it back. Seungmin takes the hint and slides his palm to the side and gently squeezes.

When he looks up at you, you grin, but he just lets himself fall forward so he can hide his face in the blanket. You hear a big sigh, and maybe a soft laugh.

“What’s the matter?” You lie down next to him and wait until he turns his face to yours. “Minnie?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Do you want to get cozy and watch something?”

“Yes, that sounds nice.”

You pull the blankets down and fluff the pillows while he gathers himself again. “Which side do you prefer?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t usually have to choose.”

“Okay, I’ll take the left side.” You cover yourself up and relax against the pillows.

Seungmin follows, but he stays on top of the blankets for a moment and stares at you. You stare back and say nothing. Then he crawls underneath them, too.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep my hands to myself.” You say.

He just pushes himself into the pillows and pulls the blanket up to his chin without a word, but he turns himself to face you.

You do the same.

“If that’s what you want.” He says.

You roll your eyes around as if you’re thinking and hmm under your breath. “Can I come closer?”

He nods.

You scoot yourself toward him until you can rest your forehead against his. “That’s better.”

“Can’t watch anything like this.”

“Oh, no I guess not,” you move back a little and look him over. “Should we—“

“No,” he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you back. “This is good.”

You take the invitation and place your hand on his neck; he moves in for a kiss before you get the chance to, though. And he kisses hard enough to push you on your back.

For a moment you think this might be it, but you find yourself hesitating and softening your kiss. Then loosening the grip on his neck.

He pulls back and stares down at you.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do,” you cup his face and hold him there. “There’s no rush.”

“I know.” He comes back down, kisses you once, and then falls back at your side. But his arm remains draped over your stomach.

Your heart sinks a little. It feels like you don’t know what you want. Well, you do know you want him, but you’re nervous. Maybe just as nervous as he is. “Don’t think I don’t want to, because I do.”

Seungmin smiles and sets his head against your shoulder. “I know you do.”

He knows you want him. You’re glad he knows—and you love the way he says it.

“Are you stopping because you’re worried I’m not ready?”

“No, only you know that. I’m just a little nervous, I guess.”

“You’re nervous?”

“I am.”

“You can’t be nervous if I’m nervous.”

He’s right. You take a deep breath and turn to face him again. Kiss him on the lips. Your free hand snakes around his waist, finds the hem of his shirt, and tucks underneath to run over his skin.

His muscles tighten for a second, then slowly relax as your hand moves upward against his side and across his shoulder blade. He sighs as you touch him.

You haven’t felt this much of his body until now.

You keep going, touching his stomach, his chest. It’s then that you feel his hand on you. It’s warm moving across your thigh, over your hip. His touch is soft, but he squeezes when he pulls you closer.

Seungmin slides his hand down to the back of your thigh and brings you as close as he can manage.

He’s on top off you again, hand still on you. His hips are gently pushing into yours. You can feel him through his sweatpants, and now your brain only wants one thing: to get them off of him.

“Seungmin,” you get him to look at you. “Seungmin?”

“Mhm?”

You pull his shirt over his head and toss it aside.

“Yeah?” He kisses your neck and lifts your shirt. “Are you okay?”

You nod and help him get it off.

“Oh,” he laughs and touches the spot directly below your sternum. “Tattoo.”

He looks over you slowly, a little shyly, before placing a kiss on your collarbone. You run a hand across the back of his neck. The other slides down his stomach until it reaches the band of his sweatpants.

Your heart beats wildly in your throat as your hand disappears. Fingers wrap around him and feel every inch. He whimpers softly into your neck. The hand buried in his hair moves down and kneads hard into his shoulder as your fingers stroke him.

Seungmin’s face is still in your neck, breathing hard. Eventually he takes a hand and maneuvers it to pull at his sweatpants. You let go to help slide them down enough to free him.

He moans, a little apprehensively, when you touch him again. You know you have to take it easy; he’s obviously very sensitive and you want this to last as long as possible for him.

“I like hearing you, don’t be shy.”

He tries to hold back an embarrassed laugh, but he does a bad job of it.

“Are you comfortable in this position? I could…do this with you on your back.”

He nods, but you don’t know which part he’s nodding to.

“Lie down.”

You let go of him until he’s on his back and relaxing. His face is still flushed and his breathing is a little shaky, but his eyes are almost closed. He seems relaxed enough. You kiss him and wrap your hand around him again.

His eyes open fully when you begin to stroke him again. His lips part and you slide your tongue against his.

The moans coming from him become a little louder. His hand lightly grips and slides down you arm.

“I didn’t really prepare for this. It could be better…if we had lube.”

“It feels good.” He whispers and smiles into your mouth. “Oh, I do have some.”

“Where?” You slow down a bit and let go of his lips. “I can grab it.”

“It’s…” he laughs sleepily, “it’s in my bag on the chair, in the smaller black bag.”

You climb over him and jump off the bed. The bag is is already open and a few things have been pulled out, but you can see a small black bag on the side. “I found it,” you unzip it and look around.

“It’s in the other little bag inside of that.” He laughs again. “Everyone is very nosy.”

You unzip the second bag, and there it is. It’s small, and still looks pretty full. You turn and look at him, “for when you’re lonely and horny on the road.”

He laughs again. “Yes, exactly.”

You warm a small amount in your hand and push the blanket down a little. You’ve touched him, but you haven’t really looked anywhere besides his lips and eyes yet. Now you watch your hand slowly move up and down , and the warmth and slickness makes everything so much better. You can feel how good it is for him. Your heartbeat drops into your stomach and you can feel yourself getting wetter every time he lets himself moan.

But as wet as you think you might be, his size is still more intimidating than you expected.

“You’re very good at this.”

You don’t think you’ve ever heard his voice so soft.

“Yeah?”

He bites his lips and nods. “It feels so good.”

The room is warm, and the AC hasn't kicked on again. There are a few beads of sweat forming at his temple—you kiss him there and work your way down to his chest, then across his stomach.

The muscles tighten as you move across his hot skin, further and further down. When you slide your tongue across his head, he moans out the breath he’d been holding since you got to his chest. The sound he makes is desperate. He does it again when your lips close around him and your hand grips a little more tightly.

He wasn’t prepared for your mouth. He breathes out your name and it sends a wave of pleasure through you. His hand touches softly across your back and neck.

He says your name again.

“You okay, Minnie?” You kiss his stomach again and look up at him.

He nods and sits up, “can I touch you?”

You let go of him and straddle his stomach. He reaches for you and runs his fingers over the thin fabric. You put your hand over his and push your underwear to the side so he can feel you. There’s another, almost inaudible moan when he does.

Two fingers slip deep inside as you lean in to kiss him, and with your help, he gets the hang of moving inside of you.

You sigh sweetly into his mouth. You’re already much more sensitive than you normally would be. Every little movement he makes is causing just enough friction where you need it. The heel of his palm found your clit and you’re not sure he even realizes.

“I’m gonna come if you keep that up, wait a sec,” you stop his hand and take a deep breath.

“You are?” His voice cracks and he sits up more. His other hand has been digging into your hip, and he finally loosens his grip. There might be a bruise there later.

You grab his face and kiss him hard, then finally maneuver yourself out of your underwear while he’s there to keep you balanced. You reach behind and find his cock, stroke him a few times, and move back.

“Are you good if I…have a seat?” You laugh and wrap your other arm around his shoulder.

“Yes, very good,” he holds onto your waist to help steady you both.

When his head slides across you, he smiles and throws his head back. You do it again before carefully pushing him a little bit inside of you. It doesn’t take much to get another sound out of him.

“There’s a lot more to go,”

He looks drunk, but he smirks, “sorry.”

“For what?”

“For having a lot more to go,” he laughs.

“I’m not complaining.”

You push him deeper, just a little, because you’re not sure what your limit will be in this position.

And deeper. You watch him carefully. His eyes are closed and his mouth is open. You hold him tightly around the neck with both arms before slowly lifting yourself.

It takes a few more times before you find a rhythm , but when you do, you’re sure the sound Seungmin makes reaches the surrounding hotel rooms.

You try to quiet him with your mouth, but it only stifles him a little. You love the noise, but if the others are close enough to hear him, it might makes things awkward.

His hands hold your hips and slowly guide you up and down on his cock. You breath his name into his mouth, and he bites down on your lip.

His voice is a whisper. “Is it okay?”

“Yes,” you whine and push yourself as far down as you can. It stings, just a little, and only for a moment. “You feel so good.”

He leans back to watch himself slide inside of you, and the lusty, satisfied look on his face is making the ride even smoother. “Do I?” He takes your face in his hand and runs his thumb along your lips and cheek.

The room disappears and all that exists is the feeling of him; his breath on your neck, his voice in your ears. His hands grip you tighter, lifting you, and holding you steady when he fills you up again.

He’s not ready for it when you pick up your pace. His fingers dig hard into your hips—you hear him swear under his breath as he attempts to keep himself under control.

“Talk to me, I wanna hear your voice. Do you like it, Minnie?”

Seungmin kisses your neck, his lips graze over your ear, “yes,” he manages through the soft sounds he can’t hold back, “yes, fuck. You feel amazing.”

You pull him away and look at him, arms still wrapped firmly around his neck. One hand slides up and into his hair. “I like you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Under me, lost in it. I thought you were sexy before…but—“

“You think I’m sexy?” His smile is cute and tipsy, voice is airy. If it weren’t for you holding him up, he’d be flat on his back.

All of the sudden, you’re snapped back to reality. Seungmin is there, eyes wide, but the room is back. You’re no longer floating. You lost control and went a little too hard, and it hurt. You make a pained sound and all of your weight is on his shoulders.

“Did I hurt you?” He holds you up and pulls out, and you’re now relieved to be giving your burning thighs a break.

“No, no you didn’t,” You have to kiss him to get rid of the worried look on his face. “That was my fault.”

“We should change positions.”

You lay back on the pillows and grab his waist when he crawls over you. Your legs fall open and rest on either side of him.

“This is a bad angle for you to look at,” he smiles and hides his face in your neck.

You lift his face back up, “is that a joke? You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever had between my legs.”

He whispers a no and hides his face again, but at the same time, his fingertips slide down your thigh as if he’s teasing you.

”Sexiest…” you moan into his ear and wrap your legs around him to bring him closer.

You don’t need to give him any more direction. He explores you briefly with his fingers before guiding himself in the same way you did; slow and gentle.

“I’ll be careful…” he slides in easily in this position, stopping short to make sure he isn’t going too far.

You take his hips and carefully pull him in the rest of the way.

A rough groan jumps out of him when you meet. He stays there and looks at you until you brush the hair from his eyes and speak. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he smiles, looks down your body, then back up to your face. “Just like looking at you.”

“I’m the one with the view,” you kiss him and shift your hips, getting another sound out of him.

Now he’s finding a rhythm, but he’s much more reserved than you were. He seems to know his own limits, and maybe he’s trying not to overdo it and finish too fast.

“Is this okay?” He nuzzles into your ear and whispers before kissing you just below it.

“Yes,” your hands run up his sides and back, his neck, into his hair, “it’s perfect.”

He thrusts into you, very delicately, a few more times before slowing down. Then he stops completely, still inside of you. He’s breathing hard, eyes closed in concentration.

“Seungmin?”

“I just…need a few seconds.”

“Take your time,” you take his hand in yours and help his thumb find your clit.

He moves it in slow circles and watches you for any direction. But he does very well. He has a light touch, and a good pace. His hands are soft and warm. This, combined with him inside of you, looking down at you with eyes drunk with pleasure trying so hard not to come yet, is making everything happen very fast. But you don’t mind.

When he pulls out halfway and pushes back inside, you whimper and the pleased look on his face pushes you over the edge. He smiles and starts fucking you again, and he doesn't let up—you feel it coming. You moan much louder than you intend. He loves hearing it.

Your back arches up and your legs squeeze around him. It lasts a long time, and he doesn’t stop—just carefully touches you in the right spot until your body finally relaxes

“Wow…did you—”

You nod and try to catch your breath.

He doesn’t get through his question because it’s his turn. He comes hard and fast. The condom was completely forgotten up until this point, and he certainly doesn’t attempt to pull out. You don’t even allow yourself to dwell on it—you just enjoy the moment.

Seungmin’s mouth hangs open, and his eyes water. His moan is different this time; it’s more feral. His whole body tightens and moves in slow motion as his orgasm passes through him. He pumps into you until he can't take it anymore..

Then he’s catching his breath and regaining his composure. He comes down to kiss you, tucks an arm under your neck to bring you closer. He slowly pulls out and puts his weight on his knees.

“Come here…”

He listens and slowly lowers himself next to you. His hair is a little damp from sweat, and his face is pink. It’s a good look for him. You pull the sheet up and over both of you, then wipe at his brow with your thumb.

“That was nice,” he’s still catching his breath. His eyes close and you can see his body soften and relax on the pillows. “That was very nice.”

“Yeah, it was.”

“It was better than nice,” his eyes flutter open and he looks at you. Then he reaches out and pulls until there’s no space left between you. “It was much better than I thought it could be.”

“Wow,” you say into his neck. “That’s quite a compliment.”

“But I’m sorry, it’s probably not great that we didn’t use protection.”

“No, but I’ll take care of it in the morning.”

Someone’s phone buzzes.

“I think that was me,” Seungmin says and reaches behind him. His phone got lost somewhere underneath the blankets. As soon as he glances at the screen, he tosses it behind him again. “Are you going to stay the night?” He asks, arms tight around you again.

“I should get home before my mom starts to worry.”

He nods and tries to hide a pout.

“But you’re leaving in the morning, right?

“I think so, I’m not sure what time.”

“Would it be alright if I spent the night? So we can say goodbye.”

“Yes, that's a much better plan.”

“Can I use the shower?” You wiggle free of his grasp and look at him, “heat, concert, sex…that’s a lot to sleep in.”

Seungmin laughs and nods, “yes, go take a long hot shower.”

____

When you come back to the room, Seungmin is sitting at the desk writing. You can hear soft music playing from his phone. There are fresh clothes laid out on your side of the bed: the shirt you had on very briefly, and a pair of very comfy looking sweatpants.

“Are these for me?” You ask. He’s already cleaned up and redressed.

He closes his book he’s writing in and spins around in the chair, “yes, I’m sure they won’t fit very well, but they’re comfortable.”

“Thank you.” You drop your towel and pick up the shirt.

Seungmin stares at you as you pull it over your head, “what?” You laugh and grab the sweatpants. They are soft and they look expensive.

“Uhm, sorry…I didn’t see you without your bra before.”

You think he might be blushing.

“Oh!” You grab your chest, “I guess you didn’t. Come here.”

“Hm?” He smirks and walks toward you as you lift the shirt back over your head. “Oh…”

You take his hands and he immediately touches you, running his palms, and then his fingertips, over your nipples. They stiffen from his touch. He sits at the edge of the bed and pulls you closer, keeping one hand on your chest. The other runs down your side and over your ass. He squeezes and kisses the spot where your tattoo is.

This could turn into something very quickly, but right now you want nothing more than to get under the covers with him and sleep. You know he needs it.

“I like this,” he pulls at the hem of your shirt when you slip it back on. “You look cute in my clothes.”

____

It’s nice waking up next to him.

The room is still dark because the curtains are pulled shut, but not completely—little bits of sunlight make it in through the sides. You can see his sleeping face, cheek squashed against the pillow, lips slightly parted. He’s curled up tight in his spot with the blanket only covering his lower half, but one bare knee is far up enough to poke out.

His arm is reaching toward you, palm up and fingers curled. You slide your hand over the sheets and gently touch him. His fingers twitch and then close around yours.

He sighs deeply, then opens his eyes. First he looks at his hand holding onto yours, then his eyes move along your arm and up to where you’re laying on your pillow.

“Good morning,” he squeezes your hand and moves himself closer to you. “Did you sleep well?”

You nod and pull his hand up to your lips. “Did you?”

“Mhm, very well.”

“Did I tell you how amazing you were last night?” You ask and fluff his hair, “I mean…” you hide behind a hand, “I’m still asleep.”

“Well, I don’t know about…amazing.”

“The concert I mean!” you hide your face in the pillow, and Seungmin giggles as he tries to get you to look at him.

“I was okay I think.”

“The concert was…and you. I was focused on you the whole time.” You clarify as much as possible through your grin.

“You focused on Seungmin the whole time?”

“Yeah, the best part.

“And last night…last last night.” He smiles wide.

“Also focused on Seungmin.”

He pushes himself closer until his face disappears into your neck. “Thank you.”

A knock echoes through the room. Three heavy knocks. The voice that comes through is soft. “Seungmin, are you up?”

“Oh, it’s Lee Know. Stay here.”

You stay put and pull the covers up over your shoulders, but you turn to face the door. Seungmin opens the locks and pulls it open a few inches.

“What’s wrong? It’s still early.”

“I know, but I thought you might want to get breakfast,” Lee Know puts a palm on his side of the door and pushes, “can I not come in?”

“Uh, you can but…” Seungmin hesitates. “I’m not alone.” He gives in when Lee Know takes several steps into the room. He won’t be able to hide you for much longer.

“Oh,” he looks to the spot on the bed where you’re under a pile of covers. “Is it the girl, the one who was at the soundcheck?”

“Did IN tell you about her?.”

“No, Chan did. I should go. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to go,” you squeak out. You can just make him out from your spot, and when you pull the covers down from your nose, his whole body comes into view. Then you remember that one of them doesn't speak English very well, and you think it may have been him. You repeat yourself in Korean.

His eyes widen a bit. “Should we all get into bed, then?” He can be sarcastic and dry; you remember Seungmin mentioned that as well.

You sit up and look at him with a smirk on your face. “He’s the boss.” You nod toward Seungmin.

“You’re the boss,” Lee Know looks at Seungmin and winks. “Text me if you want to come.”

Now he turns to you, “nice to meet you,” he smirks and lets himself out.

Seungmin let’s out a long sigh when he’s gone.

“Come back to bed,” you move the blankets from his spot and fluff up his pillow. “Please.”

He listens and crawls back to your side. When he puts an arm around your waist and pulls you close, he says, “I was nervous about you meeting him.”

“Lee Know? Why were you nervous?”

“Am…am nervous, I guess.”

“You don’t think he’d like me?”

“The opposite, actually.” He hides his face in your chest and whines.

You oooh into his ear and it makes him giggle. “Does that tickle?” You move his hair and place a kiss there.

“I think you two are very similar.” Seungmin says. “You remind me of him sometimes, especially when we text.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” he shakes his head, still shoved into your chest. “But, I just think you’d like him.”

You scoot yourself down until you’re face to face with him, but he still doesn’t lift his gaze. “Hey, look at me.”

He doesn't.

"Minnie?"

This time he listens, but he also gives you his best puppy eyes.

“You think I’ll get to know him and like him more than I like you?”

Seungmin nods.

“And that he’ll steal me away from you?”

He nods again, then stops and shakes his head, "You're not really mine to be stolen away..." he scrunches his face up in thought, wondering if his English made any sense.

“Well, I’m a little flattered you’d think someone else would like me that much. I’m much more flattered you don’t wanna have me stolen away.”

He rubs his eyes and sits himself up on the bed. “I’m sorry, I know we already talked about this.”

“We can talk about it again if you want to.”

He shakes his head and gets back under the covers. His hands find you and start to paw—at your side, your hip. He slides one down your outer thigh, and slowly back up. Then he starts to talk anyway. “He also knows Choonhee very well.”

“Okay, I think I'm understanding. I could have possibly been set up with Lee Know instead of Seungmin?”

You can hear his dramatic whine from underneath the covers. “It is very possible.”

“But I was set up with you for a reason. And you’re the first person I went on a date with since I left home, so I got very lucky.”

“Lucky?”

“Yeah, lucky. Good dates are hard to find.”

Seungmin pokes his head out from the covers and smiles at you. “I’m glad I was a good date.”

"You were a perfect date."

"You should call me Minnie more." He says it's softly, but his hands are in a dangerous spot. "All the time. I like it.

"You were a perfect date, Minnie."

[gold-rhine]

anyway, 4.1. SPOILERS, but lets talk about a dragon in the room. a popular consensus i've seen a lot says that traveler's powers are mini-versions of archons of element's region. like anemo's tornado is similar to venti's storm black hole bc it sucks ppl in, for geo you bring the rock down from the skies, kinda like zhongli's meteorite.

but this kinda starts falling apart at electro, bc electro travelers abilities don't look like raiden's. but you can still make a case that part of raiden's kit is energy restoration for other party members and electro traveler has it too, so its eeeeh a stretch but ok. tho energy restoration is just overall electro mechanic but ok ok

where it completely falls apart is dendro. dendro travelers kit is nothing like nahida. dendro traveler has shotgun blast on E and like mushroom spores growing out of the ground on burst, dendro application on limited static spot, while nahida has her radish death mark for all she can get in her selfie. they are not similar neither in function or visuals. you know who does grow grow mushroom spore thingies in set area during fights tho? Apep. Dendro dragon.

hydro is the strongest case, because we now have a confirmed playable hydro dragon and there is no denying that hydro traveler is a bargain bin neuvillette, the pew-pew water pistol is too unique and similar to his hydro beam. i've seen some leaks of furina kit, i'm not going to spoil anything, but it's nothing close.

and if we look at other elements from this angle, you know who has an actual tornado just like traveler? dvalin. And who both throws rocks from above like geo traveler E AND grows spikes from the ground, like traveler burst? Azhdaha. we never met electro dragon, so we can't compare there, but the pattern i think is obvious. traveler powers mimic not the powers of an archon, but dragons of the element. archon powers just sometimes happen to share similarities, but mostly based on element's theme, like most of anemo shares the grouping trend.

i think traveler is a dragon, who traveled for so long and teyvat changed so much that their memories erased. their backstory is that their kingdom was destroyed by the invaders and they traveled the galaxy with their sibling for thousand of years, which tracks with how teyvat is initially was inhabited by dragons and then first throne invaded, destroyed them and humans ruled. traveler is a descender, but also somehow their sibling is part of this world, according to nahida. abyss sibing talks about "restoring homeland", and ppl take it to mean khaenriah, but we know for sure they're not from khaenriah originally. traveler can manipulate elements without a vision, like dragons do, and from neuvi we now know that "archon's authority" is based on power that was taken from sovereign dragons, which means when traveler resonates with archon statues, they resonate with vestiges of dragon powers. wake up sheeple, travelers are princess and princess of the defeated king of the dragons

EDIT post Act 5 AQ: now that it was revealed that gnosis are made out of remnants of third descender, it means that traveler is probs not actually a dragon, because apparently all Descenders have natural ability to absorb elemental powers. Which is interesting, bc like why?? Or maybe not all descenders, bc primordial one is descender too. If any descender could absorb dragon powers, then why gnosis is made out of specifically third descender? is it just bc they had his corpse sdfghj?? anyway, interesting.

[sgiandubh]

Funny, that...

Much has been written and explained, lately, about the TS Friendship bracelets.

But nobody noticed, until today (merci à toi, la liste des restaus s'allonge, décidément... ❤️❤️❤️😘), a tiny detail in a photo everyone saw and many discussed to death. Including myself:

Blue arrows point to the single access bracelets everyone else is wearing at the TS concert.

Why on Earth did SRH wear not one, but TWO access bracelets?

It makes no sense, unless... Unless.

But the real question is not 'why'. The real question is - whose access bracelet was it?

A rhetorical question, indeed 😉. Could C be allergic to plastic?

[Later edit]: Gracias a ti, de nuevo - sabes quien eres, 😘❤️.

So, after putting together 1 and 1, she did have that bracelet on at the beginning of the show...

.... and at the end, on the selfie taken by the fan:

Still, this does not answer the question why did he have two bracelets on, at some point in time? Because you see, just as C's rings, boy those bracelets travel and that ring shows somewhere interesting:

No bracelets at all, ring on left hand. Go figure.

[goldenhickeysandramen]

Evolution of their narrative

I admit it. I also get confused as to what kind of couple Tae& Koo is supposed to be to their shippers.

When I first joined the fandom they were the “hidden couple”, and jikook was “fan service”, cause is what the masses demanded from BH/Bang PD.

It didn't take me long to realise that the "masses" in this fandom are actually the taek00kers (humaluvre is bigger than the majority of the most famous JK's focus accs) … So I've never really understood who the masses-asking-massively-for-"jikook"-content were 🤷‍♀️

Then, I read them that the big proof that taek00k was real was, precisely, that they couldn’t do all the things that jikook could do so well (you know, travel together only the two of them, stare at each other in rapt attention, sucking ears and necks, treat each other as a married couple, support each other to the fullest, holding hands whenever they have the opportunity…). The reason of them not doing all of these things was South Korea, since it is an homophobic country.

That’s why the company edited the content and didn't let them interact. It was all cuts and so on. Everything they did was private, and that's why there was no evidence, other than some witnesses of people with telescopic sight and facial recognition (maybe they were androids?)

I had more or less understood the narrative, until the LOVEGRAM era started, and that's when it all blew over!

Their insta accounts were no longer professional accounts (like twitter or weverse), but personal… and from then on, their selfies were some short of engagement pics or couple confirmation and their funny comments about boxing hooks were actually whipped messages of love.

Btw it seems South Korea was no longer homophobic at that time.

INSTAGRAM WAS THE LAW

When JK closed his Instagram account (forced by the company 😌) we were already in chapter 2. The lovegram didn't matter anymore…because Jungkook hanging out sometimes with Tae and wooga became the confirmation of what Instagram -in reality- failed to confirm. Never mind that their hanging out concentrated during some months when they both had more free time or that they actually just did what good friends do: having fun at the movies, bowling or skiing together with other friends… but hey, those tiny details don't matter in the great love story that is told.

And from there we move on to the part where the CHAOS really started, when the COMPANION SYSTEM news dropped

And guess what? Korea became homophobic again

Some said that they were forced to part ways (the company, the government, themselves because they wouldn't last a second without f?….). Gays dont enlist together they said.

Another line of argument was that Jimin had asked JK to enlist with him… I guess because he was going to be terrible at the military. LOL

But we all can sense that the most extended opinion was "I can't understand this plot twist for shit".

(Maybe the problem is they never understood their favs but that’s for another post)

And in the midst of CHAOS it was no longer possible to think of a new narrative...that's why the strategy became "attack". If they can't prove that their favourites are a couple, they'll go and debunk the rest.

At this point they don’t seem to care if ta3k00k is real or not… they simply choose not to surrender and ignore some facts. If they freaking ignored Jennie during a year, they will do the same with jikook being glued for 18 months.

So in the next months, we'll probably see part of fandom (solos and tkkers) attacking jikookers, and another part trying to ignore us. I fear the chaos will continue… pretty sure some toxic ones will watch the travel show just to diss jikook..

But we shouldn’t care too much because as we have seen, Jimin and Jungkook will never stop taking their decisions and behaving with authenticity

The boys have chosen their own path this year, not to please the majority of their fandom (jikookers are not the mass), but because they wanted to.

At the end of the day, they care about their fans, but we don’t own their lifes and they have shown us. And I applaud 👏 them

And yes, maybe their country and the careers they have chosen dont allow them to be fully free…. but they dont prevent them to stay one next to the other. They know how to choose the battles worth fighting for.

Don't you think it's beautiful and says a lot about the quality of love and respect that Jimin and Jungkook have for each other?

I think so

"standing in the fire next to you"

💜💛

[bcacstuff]

Ok I’m sorry but always the same fans attending Sam’s SS events. Tara travel literally makes her life following Sam to every event in every country and replies to him and Alex as if they’re friends. Probably bc she’s at every event! At what point is it enough? Tags him in selfies, retains him hoping he will see…. Honestly it’s embarrassing. You can block out her name if you choose to post this but I’m tired of the same exact older women following him around. Surely he’s over seeing the same ones too? Does it not bother him? It’s borderline scary tbh to be that obsessed with him. I love him, but god settle down with the being at every event

Rant over. Just so annoyed it’s the same entitled women who meet him a million times

I chose to post it without blocking out her name. As she's not the only one. But it's always the same ones posting his booze, the same ones turning up at events. Not only her but a number of others as well.

To each their own they say, and that's how I see it as well. Not my cup of tea. Though I see a lot of angry tweets currently about Paleyfest. People who subscribed as members especially to get a better chance to get tickets, though it seems they already were sold out before the day started. That's how it is, the ones with the most $$$ and seemingly a lot of time on their hands 🤷‍♀️

He must recognize a lot of them, probably knows them by name already. I sometimes wonder if he thinks, oh gosh her again... but then, yeah he needs the ones with the $$$$$$

Can I rant a bit about something as well? I'm more irritated by all the people that edit his pics and almost make them look like AI, then drool endlessly over him being so 'cute', 'pretty', 'handsome' swoon swoon..... why on earth do they feel they have to edit out every wrinkle, give him a full head of hair and use all these filters? Isn't he pretty enough? And on top of that proudly put their name on it...

I mean....

just one example

[drewsbuzzcut]

some girl hitting on nick at a party ( after they are married) and Dallas losing her shit on her

Caught Up In It All

nick moldenhauer x dallas blankenburg

a so it goes fic

warnings: jealousy, mentions sex, mentions underage drinking, and i think that’s all. (Let me know if i miss anything) This is also slightly edited

Dallas’ hips continue to grind up against Nick- even as the girl across the room continues to stare daggers into the couple’s heads. Nick’s hands are a good distraction as they travel all over her body. At first they held onto her hips, keeping her body flush against him, but then they moved up her torso. Now, one hand rests on her neck, angling her head up so he can seal his lips to hers. It’s like he knows someone is watching them.

The room is hot, sweat is dripping down the girl’s forehead. Her head becomes more and more fuzzy as their bodies sway sensually together.

Dallas makes eye contact with the same girl, so she gives her a cocky grin. Lifting an arm up, she throws it behind her, hand cupping the back of Nick’s neck as she starts to suck on his skin. There’s a red mark already blossoming in the area, highlighted by the glitter of her lip gloss. Dallas starts bending her knees, body going lower and lower as she dances in front of her boyfriend. He grabs both of her hands lifting them up as she gradually stands to her full height.

“Have I told you how sexy you are?” Nick pulls her into his arms, whispering his question in her ear.

She giggles, leaning more into his body before pecking his lips.

“You have many times, but you know I love hearing it,” she retorts, carding her fingers through his sweaty hair.

“You, my wife, are so incredibly sexy. I can’t wait to get my hands on you later,” he flatters her, nipping at her earlobe. Dallas swoons at “wife,” still not used to their recent nuptials.

“You’re the sexy one, husband,” she says hotly, hands going underneath his shirt.

“Do you want a drink?” He asks her in between hot kisses.

“Yes and while you do that I will go run to the restroom,” she says, kissing him before she leaves.

Dallas makes sure to fix her lip gloss, she cannot not have on lipgloss- especially when she’s at a party. After a few random selfies in the mirror, she makes her way out of the bathroom to find Nick waiting at the kitchen bar. With that girl. Dallas can feel the blood in her veins start to boil, the liquid courage egging her on as she confidently walks their way. Jealousy isn’t something she’s used to, but every now and then the green monster comes out to play.

Nick is clearly annoyed and the girl clearly isn’t getting the hint. He keeps backing up away from her each time she reaches a hand out to touch his bicep.

Act like nothing's wrong. Act graceful. No reaction is the best reaction.

“Baby!” Nick shouts once he sees his girl.

“Hi, handsome. What did you get me?” She greets him, pressing a kiss to his bicep and accepting her drink from his hands.

“Vodka and Red Bull,” he responds, pulling her under his arm.

“Who is this?” The girl in front of them asks Nick as if Dallas wasn’t even there.

“My wife, Dallas,” Nick informs her.

“Wife?” The girl partially shrieks, face showing an expression of shock and annoyance.

“That’s what he said, was it not? Who are you?” Dallas’ mouth speaks before she can think about what she’s saying.

“I’m Inez,” the girl, Inez, replies.

“Ironic,” Dallas scoffs, stopping her eyes from rolling no matter how hard it is. She is not in the mood to deal with another Inez.

“I was just talking with Nicky here about hockey. I love hockey. It’s so rough,” Inez explains with an overly eager tone. She attempts to reach out and squeeze Nick’s bicep, but Dallas subtly pushes her hand away.

“I’m gonna go back out to the dance floor. Come find me when you’re done here, Nicky,” Dallas says to Nick, mocking Inez’s nickname for her husband.

“No, stay with me. I’m just about to say goodbye,” he quickly responds, pulling Dallas back into his body. His arm goes over her shoulder, his hand coming down to affectionately squeeze at her boob. Dallas lets her smirk cover her features.

“So how long have you been married?”

“A month,” Dallas responds.

“Why get married so young? Did you get pregnant unexpectedly? Or are you just a money hungry slut going after his money?” Inez sneers, fixing Dallas with an accusatory glance.

Dallas and Nick are both stunned to silence. Dallas feels all sanity slip away as Nick starts to respond.

“Don’t ever talk that way about my-“

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Dallas is pissed.

“I’m just asking questions. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Inez defends herself.

“You ask too many fucking questions. We’re married because we’re in love. No, I’m not pregnant and no, I’m not after his money. The next time you want to ask stupid ass questions, maybe ask yourself why you’re the slut trying to go after my husband. You’re lucky I’ve been drinking, or I’d be beating the shit out of you for disrespecting me and my relationship. Get the fuck out of my face,” Dallas snaps, chest heaving and cheeks a shade of red Nick has never seen.

“I’m the slut? Says the girl who’s always around all the hockey players. Nick, she’s probably cheating on you with the whole team,” Inez spews out more accusatory remarks.

“Don’t start talking shit about my wife, especially when you don’t know anything,” Nick blurts out.

“Don’t fuck with me. I’m not playing about fighting you. If I hear one more disrespectful word come out of your mouth, I’ll make sure that everyone knows you’re a husband stealing bitch. Or at least an attempted one, because why the hell would my husband go after you when he has me? Learn your place and get the fuck away from us,” Dallas finishes.

Nick turns her around, pulling her into a hug, simply done paying any attention to the girl.

Inez walks away, her turn to be quiet.

“Are you okay?” Nick whispers, pulling back some to check on his wife.

“I’m fine, I promise. I know you were about to tell her off, but I just couldn’t stay silent,” Dallas responds, voice timid. She’s beyond flustered because she’s not used to being in situations like that.

“I love you, June bug. You’re my one and only,” Nick kisses her lips, wiping away the few tears that fall from her eyes.

“Why are you crying?” He asks, rubbing her back.

“She ruined our night, and now people are looking at us because I caused a scene,” she mutters.

“No she didn’t. We’re going to go back on the dance floor and dance until our feet hurt, and then I’m taking you home and I’m going to fuck my beautiful wife until she’s seeing stars, because she’s the most important thing in my life,” her husband says, making her blush and feel giddy.

“Can we just skip to the sex?” She asks, jokingly, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his lips some more. She hides her face in his shoulder, feeling the adrenaline crash.

“Come on, June bug,” he smirks at her, hands squeezing at her ass before he drags her to the dance floor.

“I think I need to get you one of the shirts about your girlfriend being hotter than everyone else,” Dallas shouts over the loud music.

Nick turns, pulling her body into his and smirks down at her.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that. You are hotter than everyone else,” he says into the skin of her neck.

“You’re mine,” she whispers, leaning up to connect their lips in a bruising kiss.

“You’re mine,” Nick repeats, nibbling on her bottom lip before he dances the rest of the night away with his wife.

a/n: ENJOY!!!

[curio-queries]

I agree, I think the main character was always meant to be their relationship. I think when they were planning the show that must have been a discussion, because it would be self-evident once they were traveling together, same as it came out so strongly when they were in BV3 and walking around together. Obviously the jeju episodes were hijacked so to speak (but imo mostly served to show us the incredibly intimate bond Jikook share), but yes, the main character is that, it is meant to show us them, as they are. They said this too in their first intro.

I also think it was a way for JM to make up to JK for his busy period, and spend quality time being free to travel together. They obviously say that to open the show, so it is not a reach. But, it is more than that, I think he truly does care about JK and his happiness. He also says that a few times in jeju and in Sapporo so far, as long as JK is happy, that is what mattered, and I am like that in my relationship. It truly shows how much they both care for each other.

I love that in episode 6, all they really do is check into their hotel, eat snacks, go to a 7/11, eat more, talk, go to bed. Then JM is there calling JK into the bathroom to take a selfie because 'they made memories here'. it is so sweet, because really all I think he is referring to is them being together, enjoying the normal/mundane things. Then they go on to do more of that, walking the snowy streets to go find food, coffee and ride a train. Things a lot of us will take for granted, often complain about probably. I know they had a lot of staff to protect them/look out for their wellbeing, but we have. to remember they are used to that, and so for them, it is just being out and about on a normal day, doing normal things, together.

Hi anon,

I'd definitely be interested to learn a little more about the scope of AYS and how it developed. I've still been thinking about the idea of the relationships as the main character and how that could have developed throughout the production. It's been a while since I've watched Bon Voyage but I don't think the same could be said there. BV is absolutely modeled after typical travel shows where the journey/destination becomes the chief focus.

I do think there was space for the Jeju eps to open the focus to all three members' relationships and I do believe it was mostly successful. It's one of the reasons why all of the pool segments didn't feel repetitive, there was a different mixture of members each time: taekook, jikook, vminkook. Even though they recreated some of the same bits in each subsequent scene, they weren't cut our of the edit because it didn't feel like repeat moments due to the changing dynamics and thus fulfilling the goal of exploring the differing relationships.

On a complete sidenote, while we're sharing lovely bursts of joy from ep 6, let me share mine about the memories moments as well. I have a family history of memory loss-related illnesses so I've always been hyperaware of my own shortcomings with my memory and made my peace with the likelihood that I will have my own journey on that path as well. There was a phrase I heard years ago that has given me a lot of comfort: our character has still been influenced by those we love even if we lose the memories associated with them.

This episode spending so much time talking about making memories in such a sweet way just reminds me how much Jimin and Jungkook want to have eachother influence their character. They have so many extraordinary events in their lives and while they may not remember the exact day-to-day detail, they have absolutely helped shape the other's character. I just think it's especially lovely.

[redandfranticfeelings]

Hey who was tashalovesduncney

haha okay so we gotta time travel back to like.... 2013 for this one. total drama all stars had recently wrapped up, the total drama fandom hated it, and everyone was debating whether mike was an ableist representation of DID or not. like, writing-letters-to-fresh-tv levels of intense. i took it way too seriously, i regret it, i'm sure most of my then-peers do as well.

enter a blogger named tasha-loves-duncney. she defends mike and makes fun of sjws, calls them bitches, reblogs personal/vent posts to insult the OP, is basically a troll through-and-through. it escalated to her making blatantly fake asks from popular TD tumblr users, running targeted hate blogs with names like "kill the td populars," editing people's selfies... again, running the whole mean girl gamut. she became so iconic that people started making troll blogs imitating her. she got in trouble for harassing someone and threatening to reveal their personal info, only for it to turn out to be a sideblog of hers. probably her most iconic moment was when someone told her to "fly away" after she commented on their post and she freaked out claiming it was insulting as she was bullied for looking like a bird in high school. this was after she had called everyone bitches and sent death threats.

eventually after a year she came back as a user named "tashalovesnirvana" and picked fights with the same tumblr users again. this resulted in the iconic "i'm a jaded teenage girl" copypasta. (winnerchallenged was a popular TD user at the time and tasha had very frequently harassed him specifically.) this blew up and she became famous without anybody knowing her total drama fandom roots. at some point i guess she got into a feud with someone named whitegirlsaintshit and copied her url and shit and that's how she went out.

in short, she's a grade-A troll from an era when we didn't know better than to feed them, and the jury is still out on whether she was even a teenage girl at all, though she definitely seemed jaded.

[estebanocon]

Ok, here's my recap of seeing Esteban over the Singapore GP! I've been attending every Singapore GP since 2017 and have supported Esteban each year. For me the highlight from this year was finding out that not only does he recognise my face, he also knows my name. 🥹

The video above is a compilation from two days: Thursday and Saturday. Full story below the cut. 👇

PRE-RACE WEEKEND / ESTEBAN'S BIRTHDAY

I've been travelling since late July and my flight back to Singapore from Vancouver was actually on Esteban's birthday. I had already committed to editing a video to celebrate his achievements at Alpine. Some of you (bless y'all, seriously) answered my open call for art/video/message submissions and I spent the afternoon before my flight putting it together. I'm happy I got it done and I was even happier when Esteban commented thanking us for it just before I got on my plane. You can watch the video on Instagram here.

THURSDAY

A.K.A. The day after I arrived back in Singapore after 2 months on the road and a 16-hour time difference. I have no idea how I wasn't severely jetlagged lol.

I got to the paddock entrance after 1pm, early enough to still get a spot in front of the barrier, but gosh there were so many people this year. Either F1 has really exploded in popularity (especially with the younger generation) or we just have more fans from overseas coming to Singapore for the race (why tho, it's so hot y'all). Luckily I had a friend with me and he was kind enough to help me take videos when Esteban arrived.

My friend hadn't hit record yet so the video missed Esteban saying "good to see you again, how are you doing?", and you can scroll back up for the rest. ☺️ He thanked me after I asked if he'd seen the birthday video and then there was an awkward moment when I didn't know if we were doing a fist bump or a handshake but man's a gentleman and didn't make me feel weird about it. 🫠

I don't know why after seeing him so many times I still get nervous but I was, and I struggled to take the cap off my marker so he could sign my cap. He very kindly took it from me to open it himself but my marker betrayed me and wasn't working properly (now that I think about it, it also happened the very first time I asked him to sign my hat back in 2017 🤡). Thankfully the girl next to me offered her red marker which actually worked (though Este stabbed the life out of it first to be sure). 🙏

I initially wanted to hang around in the evening with some friends who were coming after the pitlane walk. But at 7pm it was already super crowded and I don't even know why (all the drivers, TPs and media are already in the paddock at this point and won't come out till late that night). So yeah, I just went home to not tire myself out before the race weekend actually started.

FRIDAY

I've accumulated quite a bit of merch since last year so I was bringing a different one on each day for him to sign haha. In the selfie I'm wearing a shirt he signed the day before.

I normally try not to take up too much of his time because he always does his best to make sure all the fans get something from him. I only had one shirt for him to sign but after he did, he continued standing in front of me so I just took out my phone for this picture and then he went on his way. Este is bestie fr. 😭🫶

I didn't hang around outside the paddock again on Friday night because I went to watch OneRepublic. ✨

SATURDAY

The best day for me because this was when I managed to get most of my selfies (including with Mick, who I missed on Thursday because he came with Esteban and obv I have priorities) and also because Esteban managed to drag the car out of Q1. 👏

It was also a good day because I asked Esteban if he could write my name on the cap and as I was trying to spell it out for him, he cut me off because he knew, he just didn't see it was me at first because some guy had draped a huge flag over my friend and me for him to sign. 😭🫶

We tried to wait outside the paddock after qualifying but they started chasing us out at 12am and since they had armed police out in full view, we decided to not fk around and find out. (At previous SGPs they'd stay in the van so we never actually saw them.) Also didn't help that Esteban chose that moment to leave so people started mobbing him and even though he tried to stop at first, security physically pushed him to the exit. 🥲 (which was probably for the best tbh)

SUNDAY

I actually gave Este the wrong hat to write my name on (I wanted him to write it on the cap from his store, not the Alpine one) so I had to ask him again and he kindly obliged.

That night I was lucky to catch him just before he left the circuit, there were some fans running alongside him because he wasn't stopping but he stopped when he saw me. 😭🫶 I got a quick hug and he said see you next year so I guess the greedy mfs at SGP are going to continue getting my money smh.

BONUS ESTE'S BESTIES

Here's a picture of stuff I got signed by Este, as well as some gifts I got from other Esteban fans! And also, a picture of me and Fiq who I met for the first time on race day.