#trauma incarnate tbh

[astro-inky]

i finally got the energy to start the magnus archives and im on episode 76. jon is the funniest character ever.

[the--highlanders]

tbh I think it would take a while for polly to actually realise how traumatised jamie is? she knows he's come from a war but blatantly doesn't know much about the context, and jamie's not exactly the sort of person to be super open about it. so I think she'd initially see him just as this sweet younger brother figure who's a little bit lost in all the futuristic stuff around him. and it would take some pretty heavy circumstances for her to realise what's going on beneath the surface

so their early s4 dynamic just ends up being

[v4mpgutz]

Cardigan, Ethan Landry [ ONESHOT ]

— pt. 2 of seven but a oneshot instead of a drabble, i love ethan sm hes so cutiepie. i recommend listening to cardigan (taylor swift) as you read, it hits tbh

non-ghostface ethan landry x fem reader

warnings ! — ethan being a chronic sorry-er (bless him), ethan also pulls his hair a little bc of anxiety

-----------------------------------------------------------

ethan was, to say the least, a little confused when he felt so warm as the sunlight started to pour in through the sheer white curtains in your living room. wait, was something touching his hair? his eyes fluttered open and he realised his face was against your chest (not that he was complaining) as he laid on top of you on your couch. one of your arms was lazily draped over his shoulders and the other massaged his scalp ever so gently, toying with his brown curls.

he took a breath in, relishing in your warmth and hold until he became fully aware of your positioning and shot up from your body. your eyes widened a little at the sudden movement, worried.

ethan sat a couple of inches away from you now, his own eyes widening as he remembered the events of the night prior. no, he thought, oh god please no. his hands reached up and pulled slightly at his hair with a wince, his breathing picked up and he turned to face you looking completely mortified

"i'm so sorry!" he blurts out, "oh.. god. i'm so so sorry, y/n."

he's so angry. he's completely outraged — had he no self-control? he kept mumbling apologies, so upset for knocking on your door at such an outrageous time and even more upset because he felt like he completely overshared and trauma dumped on you. he looks at the ground, muttering to himself.

his head perks up when you gently grab his wrists and pull his arms down, away from his hair. your fingers slowly creep down towards his hands and encase them in your own, rubbing your thumbs on the back of them.

"eth, i was the one who let you in," you reassure him. "if i didn't want to listen to you i could've easily shut the door in your face."

he swallowed and his face grew warm as he nodded. he knew you were right but he can't help feeling guilty. you sighed and brought his hands up, kissing his knuckles so softly before running your thumbs over them once more for good measure.

ethan looked away in embarrassment and went quiet. you smiled at his reaction, your eyes softening as you admired his face. he was truly an angel incarnate and this moment proved it.

his posture was stiff as he chewed his bottom lip. his hair looked lighter as the rays of sunlight coming in cascaded over him, over his hair, his skin and oh, his eyes. they brightened to such a beautiful shade and his lashes casted a small shadow over his cheeks. the golden light surrounded him like he was the reason the sun rose and in that very second you would've believed it.

you let out a breath you didn't realise you were holding and whistled, "wow."

ethan turned to you with his brows furrowed, a confused look on his face as he thought you were being judgmental. "what?" he asked. he noticed you were looking at him already and squinted slightly.

"is there something on my face?" he questioned.

you shook your head with a smile and licked your teeth. "no," you confirmed. "you just look so pretty."

if his cheeks were warm before they were absolutely burning now. he tried to reply, his mouth opening and closing like a fish yet he couldn't seem to get the words out. he'd never been called.. pretty before. it made his stomach churn in the best way possible.

you giggled and teased him a little. "awe, can't handle being complimented? ah, looks like i don't do it enough then, huh? my gorgeous boy."

ethan huffed and turned away, crossing his arms in false offence.

you saw it though, the little smile that pulled at the corners of his lips.

i actually really love this sm and i kid you not i spent like 20 minutes figuring out how to describe the sun-ray scene. like i was picturing jack in that way and just couldn't describe him bc hes so gorgeous im UGAHSNDN

[eri-pl]

Melian saw the darkness in Thingol's eyes and married him anyway

Long, chaotic stream of thought below cut (no, nobody owes anybody a relationship)

I'm not saying Idril should have married Maeglin, or whatever. I'm perfectly fine with "Idril didn't want to date Maeglin because she was not into it, and/or he was her cousin and whatever". She had every right not to. Same as everyone.

I'm just saying "saw the darkness in his eyes" is a very weird way of phrasing it. Especially when we look at the three cases of "darkness in eyes" (all essentially fatal):

Melkor (seen by Varda, in the context of romantic rejection)

Feanor (seen by Galadriel in the context of I have no idea) (also I'm sure Nerdanel wasn't blind either. But, as I said, "darkness in eyes" is not a good reason to not get in a relationship, not by itself. "I can't handle this darkness" is a good reason. Nerdanel could handle a lot)

Maeglin (seen by Idril, in the context of romantic rejection)

What do those three have in common?

One of the interpretations (not the one where Thingol easily fits however) is "they're great, best they can, but still not good enough":

Melkor is the most Vala, but he was also the first Vala and he "grew up" being the only finite being he new. and he hated it, he despised himself for being less (it is clear to me from the description of his obsessio with the Flame etc)

Feanor was the most Elf to even elf, but also Finwe wanted more kids, so obviously Feanor got the message that he wasn't enough.

Maeglin was brilliant, and an only child, but also his father was the super-stern, avoidant-attachment tangle of cold trauma that was Eol. I'm sure he got a consistent message of "you aren't enough".

So, there's this inherent not-enoughness. (How is this a reason to not date someone??? I mean, sure, it results in behaviors and problems, but really, really, we could phrase those rejections differently.)

(Or maybe it was "she saw he's going to be evil" but I hate this concept, it rubs wrong with free will to me)

Am I bashing Tolkien? Not really. You know, what vibe I get from those darknesses? CSL's relationship to Susan. You know, "the character he obviously hated". The character he based most on himself.

"Saw the darkness in his eyes" (and hated him for it) really feels like the author looking at himself. So of course I'm not going to bash him, he bashed himself too much already.

So what was that part about Thingol? Just a click-bait?

Melian was an Ainu. Thingol was an Incarnate,. In a world where the very existence of incarnates is a result of the discord, a result (or at least everyone believes so) of evil. of course he would have tons of darkness in his eyes! His very existence is something that shouldn't be if everything went well!

(BTW Feanor "killed" his mother and Maeglin was a child of a marriage that was terrible and not even a valid marriage tbh. they both have very much of the "their existence is the result of some evil" syndrome)

And I'm not saying Melian owed Thingol to marry him. No, she did not. But she saw the opportunity and she chose to and that's passing awesome.

(And then the same motif with Luthien and Beren who was a Men and as we all know, Men are problematic, even compared to Elves.)

And I know this started from Tolkien's wife, but still, the fact that it's always this gender setup... It's interesting in many ways.

I'm not even saying that Idril owed Maeglin (or any other sombination of those) a friendship, or a therapy. No. She set her bounduaries and it was a good thing to do, you need to know your limits and needs and all that.

But when someone can afford it, can afford to look at the darkness, and go forward anyway... it's passing awesome.

Also, going back from metaphysics into attachment styles and relationships and marrying a sad person... One day the darkness will be too much to handle. Not for B&L who lived a short life, but Thingol often ignored Melian, and Feanor and Nerdanel even separated.

But it is normal. And it doesn't make the relationship wrong.

You can handle only a finite amount of someone else's emotions (if you choose to handle them at all, which, again, you are not obliged to) and the point of it is for them to grow and learn to not need your help anymore. It is difficult and doesn't always work and it is normal. It is human.

My point is than it is better to support someone for as long as you are able to without herming yourself and then let them handle it on their own, than to not support someone at all. But again, sometimes "as much as you can afford" is zero, and it is ok. It is ok to not interact with difficult people.

Just please, don't say "I saw a darkness in his eyes". Say "I cannot handle this" or "I have other emotional commitments", or "I need my strength elsewhere" or "I need time and peace to heal" or something like that. It is about your rights, not their wrongs.

You don't owe anyone a relationship, friendship, or anything. But nobody is inherently undeserving of relationship or friendship, or fully incapable of it (some people need more help than others though).

ps: "passing" is a term I borrowed from "le Morte d'Arthur" and it means something like "exceeding expectations". I like it.

And, leaving the theme of romance, I could probably write another long post about how the opposite of "darkness in his eyes" is the light of the Trees in eyes of the Elves (except: Feanor had both) and why I'm not as big a fan of the trees as everyone in the canon (they were a good thing, but not as absolute as everyone paints it) and what Valinor was and what it was not and how the very existence of Valinor is the essence of "you have darkness in your eyes, you can't play with us" attitude but also my expectations are way too high and it's easy to complain in hindsight

Maybe one day I will post something more coherent about it.

Just... let's end this on saying that seeing the darkness, and calling your beloved beautiful and getting married anyway—

[krillposting]

Four characters who make you yell "MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN".

Thank you for tagging me, @capondi!!

With apologies that 3 out of 4 are Dastmalchian characters...

1) Abner Krill

The man who launched my account, my darling Abner Krill. His depressive, brooding affect paired with his vibrant powers, social disinhibition and trauma captivated me instantly. Truly as a character he is a hyperfixation like no other. I can fix him? I really can't. But he can fix me.

2) Piter de Vries.

Abner's opposite in many ways, but my type is fucked up little guy and Piter is the supreme. When I found out Dastmalchian was playing him in the Villeneuve Dune, I immediately became invested. But in process, came to adore every iteration of Piter: book version, Brad Dourif, and every fan art incarnation. They are all my murder husband.

3) Dennis Murdoc

Oh look, another sociopath! To be honest, I have watched every MacGyver episode which features Murdoc, and none of the others. As far as I'm concerned, Murdoc is the main character of that show. I love that he's a cold blooded killer with a sense of humour, and you can tell Dastmalchian had a blast playing him. His gloves are also a borderline kink tbh.

4) Floki Vilgerðarson

A character I've never posted about on here, but he is just as much My Man as the Dast boys. The top recommended Google search under Floki's name is "what mental illness does he have?" He's a master craftsman. He's a religious zealot. He's high on hallucinogens. He rocks a smoky eye. He discovered Iceland by mistake. I'm in love with him even though he'd want to kill me with an axe.

I tag @kyber-infinitygems @practically-an-x-man @aesdi and @cadavergraves if any of you are up for playing - and whomever else too!!

[mymoviefaves]

So I was thinking. I think the Genshin Impact fandom (and a lot of fandoms tbh) need to learn that there’s a difference between redemption, and humanization.

Tl;Dr None of the antagonists in Genshin have been redeemed, even if they have backstories and they’re playable.

Spoilers for Genshin, She-Ra, Steven Universe, and AtLA ahead

A complaint I see about some story lines in Genshin is that the game keeps “redeeming” evil characters, and doesn’t just let them be evil, with the exception of La Signora who died before we could get much screen time at all, and will never be playable. But the characters most everyone would call “evil” who are playable, (Childe, Raiden Shogun, and Scaramouche) get quickly redeemed with no consequences for their actions, and are no longer evil characters. And there’s a worry that other evil characters that will be playable are going to get the same treatment.

Here’s my thing, I feel like they will get the same treatment, but none of those characters have been redeemed. At any point. (You could make an argument for Scaramouche but we’ll get there). None of them are even asking for redemption. All of them have been humanized though.

So I feel like the easiest way to do this would be to give examples of redemption and examples of humanization.

Redemption:

The first characters to come to mind are Zuko in AtLA, and Catra in She-Ra.

Zuko did horrible things throughout the first two seasons of AtLA, including a lot of attempted murder/capture, lying, betraying people closest to him, being a general dick even. We know that the reason he’s like this is entirely because of his abusive father, but just having that information doesn’t redeem him as a person. He has to earn that, and he does. He gains the trust of the gang, he shows kindness without expecting anything in return, he throws himself into this fight whole heartedly against the fire nation and the only family/friends he’s ever had aside from his uncle. I feel like I don’t have to go too deep into detail, but you get it right? He actively tries to be a better person and to make good on everyone he’s wronged. The gang and Iroh don’t have to forgive him, but they do, because he earned it. And it’s a “kids” show where forgiveness is kind of a big theme.

It’s a similar situation with Catra in She-Ra. She’s a horrible person. She’s selfish, manipulative, violent, and she tried to destroy the universe for attention. We know why she’s like this, she was horribly abused and manipulated by Shadow Weaver and the Horde. She’s sad, scared, and lonely, but obviously none of this is an excuse or makes her a good person automatically. She doesn’t get a redemption arc until the last season where she sacrifices herself for Glimmer, having absolutely nothing to gain from it. She has to literally become reborn, and much like Zuko she completely devoted herself to fighting the opposite side of this fight she’s been in her whole life because it’s the right thing to do. At no point did she just trauma dump and get the best friends squad and the princesses to immediately forgive her, it took weeks of earning their trust expecting nothing in return. Again, hard work.

Humanization:

I feel like this is where a lot of confusion lies. Especially with the black and white thinking found all over the Internet. “If bad person, than horrible evil monster who kicks puppies” “If good person, than perfect saint of a person has never done anything bad in their life”. That’s just not how reality works, and that’s not how good writing works. If your antagonist is just Satan incarnate, sure that could be interesting to play around, but that has to be the main conflict. Trying to overcome this force of nature.

Great bad guys tend to have interesting motivations, and are fully fleshed out three dimensional characters.

I’ll use a controversial example, but the Diamonds in Steven Universe. They. Are. Not. Good. People. Rebecca Sugar was never trying to make them good people. They do not get redeemed at the end of the show. They do not earn Steven’s or the Gem’s forgiveness. They come to a peaceful solution (because Steven is a pacifist and it’s a kids show) but they’re at no point redeemed.

They are three dimensional though. We find out that all of them are still reeling over the “loss” of Pink, and while their actions have always been hurtful they were always meant to be in best interest for the family. Does that excuse them? No. Impact is always more important than intent, and that’s why they’re the bad guys. At the end of the day and the end of the series, they’re still not welcome in Steven’s life even if they try to be better. The audience can see them as more than just evil cartoon villains, and that makes them interesting as characters, but they’re still bad people.

Another evil antagonist who is humanized and becomes a more interesting and well rounded character, Darth Vader. Stay with me.

Obviously Anakin Skywalker gets “redeemed” at the end of the original trilogy, but it’s obviously very bare bones. It was 1985, and not a great example of a bad guy getting redeemed. However, in the prequels we can see how this literal cartoon villain, dark castle on the side of a volcano, evil character, started as an optimistic, brave, and kind hearted little boy.

Say what you want about the prequels and their writing, but the way they portrayed the downward spiral of Anakin Skywalker was fantastically done if you pay attention and don’t zone out during all the political speeches. We know Darth Vader already, but at the start of the prequels we’re introduced to a literal innocent child. We watch him literally being manipulated and groomed to the dark side by Palpatine, have no outlet to talk through his trauma so the only solution he has is violence, and when he’s at the most scared and desperate he’s ever been, he fully falls into the role of Darth Vader and goes out to murder a bunch of little kids. Little kids the same age and with the same mindset he had at the beginning of the series. Does any of this backstory, trauma, and being a victim of Palpatine’s manipulation make him a good person? No. He’s fucking Darth Vader. He kills babies and tries to drag his own son down the same path as him. It does make him into a more rounded and interesting character though. It makes him human. A terrible human, but still human.

ANYWAY BACK TO GENSHIN IMPACT

Childe, Raiden Shogun, and Scaramouche have all been humanized by the story so far, not redeemed.

Childe is a Fatui harbinger. He actively tried to kill the traveler, and while he felt bad about it (there was a translation error in the English version) tried to kill an entire city of innocent people. He only half heartedly apologized for the attempted murder and just laughed it off. He still doesn’t see what he did as wrong, or anything he does working as a harbinger as wrong. He’s by all standards a bad guy. But, he’s genuinely a kind person. We learn that he’s a loving and sweet big brother who’d do anything for his family. We’re probably going to learn about whatever traumatized the light out of his eyes soon in Fontaine, but he’s never been redeemed of being a murder happy mafia caporegime. He’s still very evil, and probably will be until either he dies trying to save the traveler/Tucer, or realizes that the Fatui are just using him and that taking care of his family is more of a threat than a favor. I have a lot of feelings about this man. But that’s the thing, he’s an interesting, well rounded character even without redemption.

Raiden Shogun has never once apologized or even asked for forgiveness for what she’s done to Inazuma. She doesn’t see her actions as evil, she just sees them as an over correction. She’s barely even able to see her citizens as people because she locked herself away from humanity for 400 years. When we get to know her and her backstory we learn that she has horrible trauma, and everything she’s done has been what she thought was best for Inazuma as a whole. We learn that she’s actually a very kind person who loves sweets and thinks the best solution to a love triangle is everyone dating each other. Does any of this redeem her and make her a good person? No. Very few Inazuma characters forgive her for what she did and the war that came from it. Kokomi is willing to be diplomatic with her, because she knows that’s what’s best for her people, but the second there’s a reason to, her and the rest of the characters effected by Raiden’s actions are ready and willing to throw hands. Will she ever ask for forgiveness or seek redemption? Probably not. But her being more than just the cartoon villain evil robot dictator that the Shogun puppet is, makes her an interesting and well rounded character.

Scaramouche/The Balladeer/Wanderer/Kabukimono/Kunikuzushi/Kuronoshi/Shouki no Kami/Babygirl is the only character so far that I feel like is in his “hey, Zuko here” era. Obviously he’s done plenty of evil things in his life. He murdered several entire families to wipe out a cultural art form because he was petty and hurt. He tried to murder the traveler several times, he helped set the vision hunt decree and war that came from it in motion, oversaw the delusion factory getting even more people killed, tried to become a god, attempting to murder the traveler again and attempting deicide on a toddler. Not to mention, overall, kind of a dick to just about everyone. He even asks “Am I evil?” And Nahida says “Yes.”

Throughout all of 3.1-3.3 we learn his tragic backstory, and how he was lied to and manipulated, and traumatized into going from “sweet and innocent puppet” Kabukimono to the Scaramouche we meet in the beginning of the game. Does any of that abstain him from everything he’s done in the past 400 years? No. But I think where we see the beginnings of a genuine redemption arc is when he decides to help the traveler and Nahida when he has no reason to. The next part of his redemption comes from when he found out the reason everyone he loved died, and the reason he became evil to begin with, was all based on a lie and decided that everyone he’s ever cared about might be saved if he never existed. And of course, after accepting all of his mistakes and the worst most evil parts of himself and still deciding to save the traveler’s life just before getting his vision.

Now, is he a fully redeemed and forgiven character even after all of that? No. Not even after all of that. The traveler is still suspicious of his motives, and doesn’t forgive him for anything. But at the same time, he told them to tell everyone effected by his actions who he is and what he’s done. He’s expecting them to come after him and he’s ready and willing to accept anything coming at him. He’s also been actively being helpful and kind to the rest of the Sumeru cast even when he has nothing to gain from it. Sure, his main reasoning for not hurting people anymore is that he has no reason to, but even if he’d never admit it he’s actively being a better person. He’s still a brat and an asshole to everyone in his life, but that’s just his charm.

Anyway, as far as I’m concerned about future playable antagonists and evil characters (Arlecchino, Dottore, honestly the rest of the Harbingers) I feel like we’re going to get their backstories, and they’ll become fully fleshed out, rounded, humanized characters, but they definitely won’t be redeemed of their evil actions by any means.

[dangermousie]

What struck me during this ep was how nice both of them are, despite a life (or unlife in his case) that's been far from easy. Look at his comment to her that he didn't want to startle her.

And despite her initial lashing out due to all the shock, once she calms down and thinks things through, she is genuinely lovely to him, a 1500 year old ghost with resentment.

I love how startled he is, and I wonder if her comment about different setting is actually hinting at the happy end we would get, if the drama decided not to break our heart - the two of them meeting in a new incarnation, no tragic history, no enemy setting, no trauma. A fresh start.

I love this tbh:

[buntress]

[No spoon for IDs, help appreciated!]

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ Sirencoregenric

[PT: Sirencoregenric]

A musicagender related to the heavy metal genre Sirencore. A genre popularized by the artist, Banshee with the album Birth Of Venus. This gender may feel like feminine rage incarnate, like the mixture of a sirens song and angry, pain filled shouting over the trauma and pain one has endured at the hands of those who were supposed to love them. Though none of this is required. This gender isn't necessarily FiN, but it could be if one wishes.

[PT: A musicagender [link] related to the heavy metal genre Sirencore. A genre popularized by the artist, Banshee [link] with the album Birth Of Venus [link]. This gender may feel like feminine rage incarnate, like the mixture of a sirens song and angry, pain filled shouting over the trauma and pain one has endured at the hands of those who were supposed to love them. Though none of this is required. This gender isn't necessarily FiN, but it could be if one wishes. End PT]

No suggested pronouns

IMPORTANT UPDATE ::

The artist Banshee is a zionist and israel supporter. I will not be taking this gender down, as many including myself have felt an extreme connection to her work, but I do not support any of her actions. I made this gender before she was revealed to be this person, and am incredibly disgusted and disappointed in her actions.

If you enjoy what I create, consider leaving a tip on Ko-Fi (link)! /nf

Tagging :: @radiomogai @idem-obscura @the-mogai-archives @audiogenders @gendersetlist @accessmogai @mogai-transcriber @horrgores @hisreturn @haunted-thing @electrosaccharine @keyringmogai

Ty all for being patient during my hiatus! I wasn't expecting it at all, my body just decided I really needed a break I suppose and I wasn't going to ignore it. I'm going to try to coin a new term at least once a week, but who knows tbh. I think I'm just going to take it easy for now, let myself go with the flow. But! I hope you enjoy anyways, even though this gender is a bit on the niche side! Be safe, take your meds!! <3

[thesherrinfordfacility]

i won't go so far as to say they annoy me, because everyone has their own opinions, but i just CANNOT agree with any takes saying that their entire relationship has been dysfunctional or built on solely on false premises or etc. anything else in that vein. i know we've been dissecting the issues a lot to explain the breakup, but i'm going to go out on a limb and say that as a whole there's way more love than problems and there's way more good than bad. and that doesn't erase the problems or the bad or make them any less in need of fixing, i'm just saying overall the love in their relationship and the good parts of it definitely win out. plus, PLEASE cut them a bit of slack for the constraints the Heaven&Hell rigmarole put on their relationship. and i don't mean in a trauma way, i mean in a physical threat, having to do everything secretly kinda way.

further asks and response under the cut:

hi anon!!!✨ okay won't lie, the first ask made my blood pressure rocket through the ceiling 😅 but you're good, thanks for coming back to clarify, i really appreciate it - bc tbh idk if i would have had the acuity to have answered this today otherwise!!!✨

i hear you - speaking more personally for a sec (i will actually address what you're saying in a mo!), i hope you don't mind, it is slightly exhausting when some read my ask responses or metas, and genuinely believe that im purposefully trying to find negativity in the story or the characters, especially crowley. im not at all; i truly just find the dozens of layers to them both (and the storyline - the ethics, philosophy, psychology!) really, really interesting, and i find it fun to examine. i don't take any joy in pointing out flaws or dysfunctions for the sake of it, but more that, for me, it makes the whole relationship so much more relatable, and compelling. here are two creatures that are literally as non-human as it can get, and they're making mistakes, or miscommunicating, or have 'issues' the same as a lot of us do? that's really comforting to me - to look at two characters that i treasure acutely, and be able to recognise the ways in which they're not perfect. their story, in that respect, suddenly doesn't feel inaccessible.

but braindump-that-you-didnt-ask-for over!!!✨

i agree that their relationship is ultimately rooted in love. i think that that love has taken in many incarnations over the course of their narrative, emerging from general attraction/fascination, to acquaintances, to uniquely-relatable-to-each-other-and-only-each-other colleagues, to friends, to best friends, to deeply-pining crushes, to being unrequited love interests, to being full-throttle in love with each other, to being each other's family and sanctuary... all of these at the same time, and some evolving and merging into others. i don't personally hold the belief that romantic love has been there since the beginning (but fully respect where people do see it that way!) but romantic love isn't the only love that aziraphale and crowley are built on.

there have been problems and misunderstandings amongst all of that, times where they possibly don't know each other as much as they like to think they do, where they've not been kind or gentle to each other, but that doesn't mean that none of it isn't all interwoven, in every fibre, with love (whatever form that takes). they may not be human, but they are navigating something uniquely human, and that isn't always going to be perfect.

add to that, just as you say, the literal threat that hangs over both of them where they're not allowed to acknowledge a single part of any of the above; to do so not only puts themselves at risk, but the other at risk moreso. that fear - that sword of damocles, as others way more poetically-minded than me have put it - is borne out of love, of concern, of respect, and friendship. it's not a question, again as you say (because i wholeheartedly agree with you!), of one loving the other more than the vice versa, and one always having to bend to the other until they break whilst the other doesn't get a look-in. the way i see it, sometimes you do have to bend to each other in relationships, friendships etc., but that's a mark of trust, respect, and love in and of itself; that you can feel that you can look to the other for support when you need it, feel comfortable in being vulnerable enough to do so, and be so deeply loved in return as to be the one to support when the other needs it themselves.

there are times in the narrative where one lets the other down, or hurts them, sure - but that doesn't mean that that's the nail in the coffin. it's not going to ruin them, or end them, or drive them apart irrevocably; it's causing/caused issues that they simply need to work to mend... and tbh, they're probably not even aware that some of those cracks are there! once again, i think it's fair to say that this happens in most relationships, and usually - usually - most problems such as the more human-like ones they're facing now (especially the ones borne out of wanting to protect one another!) are fixable with patience, communication, kindness, time, and continuous love!

i do think s3 is really going to upend this, though, and put it to that aforementioned breaking point; i think there is going to be stuff revealed which leaves each other completely bare for the other to see - no secrets, no smokescreen, no glamour - and prove to be the true test of that love. but let's face it (because it will happen); they will choose to love each other anyway. perhaps even because of what s3 will reveal. i don't think ive ever seen their love for each other as unconditional - like i said, i think such a 'condition'/test will be put to them both in s3 and turn their view of each other on its head - but their love for each other in, all its guise, is strong, deep, and profound enough that it will be what they choose every time✨

if you would like to come back off anon, that is entirely up to you and i'll leave that for you to decide - or message privately? - i don't mind!!! but again thank you for clarifying the tone, i find tone hard to read sometimes and i appreciate the follow-up asks!!!💕

[mobirights]

Do any MCU and Marauders fans think that Shang Chi and Xialing give off Black Brothers vibes??? Was rewatching the movie today, and the Marauders brain rot was going crazy.

Like Shang Chi ran away when he was 14 years old because his dad was sending him on a dangerous mission for the Ten Rings that he didn't wanna do? Okay, Sirius Black.

Xialing waited 6 years before she realized her brother wasn't coming back for her? Ouch? It's giving...

The Mandarin/Wenwu is such a Walburga Black variant. Like we hate him, and he's evil, and he abused his kids (neglect for Xialing's part) after the death of their mother. BUT we can still see that he loves them in his own sick and twisted way. Plus, there's the favoritism he has for Shang Chi that adds onto Xialing's resentment of her brother. Like, okayyyy, Black Family trauma.

Xialing also is just so Regulus. Her whole "I don't need anybody", "My family sucks so I push everyone away", badass dark-haired, loner thing is just Regulus Black incarnate.

PLUS. That would make Katy the James in this situation and... Listen, I don't like Awkwafina, but a lot of her characters give off James Potter vibes, guys. When she starts singing when she's in danger to use "the art of confusion" against enemies.... That feels very Crimson Rivers James tbh. Her and Shang Chi give off Prongsfoot so hard.

OH MY GOD, and the dude with like 2 minutes of screen time from Xialing's fight ring. Jon Jon? That's Barty Crouch Jr. if I've ever seen him.

UGH. I have a cold, and I'm tired, and dead gay wizards consume my entire life.

Everyone go watch Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings and agree with me right now please.

(Anothr side note: Katy and Xialing were kinda.... I make everything gay but the WAY SHE LOOKED AT HER... So, they're jegulus, obviously.)

[bookish-whore]

❤️✨V-Day Headcanons✨❤️

A/N: To close out the night we have our most handsome high lord, our night triumphant, death incarnate himself and I am unwell bc all I want is them but alas here I lay illyrian-less. anyways happy valentines day everyone you are all deserving of all the love and I hope this managed to brighten your day. ❤️

Rhysand

I am of the belief that words of affirmation and acts of service are his love languages (words especially after UTM because of his trauma)

He has been planning this day for weeks (probably months tbh) because everything needs to be perfect.

He would absolutely do something completely over the top and outrageous like fill your entire home with flowers from all over the city (like Schmidt from new girl style but on steroids) like I'm talking thousands of flowers, buys out all the vendors in Velaris

He would wake you up with oral sex, it's his favorite he absolutely loves pleasing you and hearing all the little moans and sounds you make

He is all about the pampering, he's running you a bath and washing your hair, and sending you out to do menial errands like getting your hair and nails done while he works on setting up for the night.

He just doesn't want you around to tell him that all the fuss isn't necessary because for you it absolutely is. he would tear down this world and the next just to see you smile and he wants you to feel like the goddess he thinks you are.

He has acquired a private chef, and a private string quartet because he wants tonight to be all about just you two, no one else

You come home and he immediately blindfolds you leading you to a room where he has prepared everything (the twins are already waiting to help you dress)

"Darling you didn't have to do all of this" you say tears lining your eyes because you know he has done something elaborate and you can't fathom anyone loving you that much.

"For you? of course I did" he says "I'll see you soon"

you grab a hold of his hand before he can leave.

"I love you" you say kissing him, its a deep kiss full of longing and passion

you make your way down the staircase in the elegant ballgown you had for the evening to find the room full of flowers and only illuminated by the hundreds of candles

you are completely taken aback by the display, your heart swelling at the thought of how long it took to plan this.

He leads you to your intimate dinner setting and you enjoy the best meal you've ever eaten.

You make your way to dance, his steady footsteps and sure footing gliding you across the ballroom.

"Rhys- you didn't have to do all this you know. I love that you did and I feel so loved and understood but darling we have a lifetime of celebrations like this" you say softly into his chest

"I know we have a lifetime to spend together, but all that means is I have a lifetime to prove to you every day that my love for you has no limits" he says twirling you around before capturing you back in his arms

You walk the grounds of your home, talking about your future and just enjoying your time together

you make your way upstairs to your shared room and he helps you undress (he does so ever so slowly)

His hands are simply roaming your body, no destination in mind just intuitively building the tension between you.

He is usually down for some steamy kinky sex but tonight he really wants to take it slow and worship your body

He takes his time, building up your need until your practically crying for him. "Please Rhys- I-I need you" you beg

He obliges (probably giving you the best orgasm of your life)

After, you tuck yourself into his side, holding him close as you drift off to sleep "thank you for today my love. it was better than I could have even imagined"

he smiles holding you close as he presses a kiss to your forehead "anything for you darling."

(screaming, crying, and throwing up bc I want this so badly.)

[madfantheyinablueblog]

16 and 53? (If you're doing the ask game 😁)

I'm finally answering the ask game that I reposted like a month ago, whoopsies!

Anyways:

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

This is a complicated question tbh. Normally I'd immediately go with Eight, but he's both the most human and least human Doctor. At the same time. He's put through the ringer and he's an incarnation that lives through the end of the 19th and the entirety of the 20th century, in the role of a human (with no memories of being a timelord). So he's been through the most human stuff and gets injured and isn't immune to danger. But at the same time, Eight is very eldritch and not human, like, at all. But honestly, thinking more about it, I'd also say the Third Doctor. He's so damn good at blending in with humans and he spends the majority of his time working with people.

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

When I was younger, the weeping angels scared the everloving hell out of me. My mum used to joke that she would get a life-size angel for our garden just to mess with me (Luckily we never did).

For Classic Who, I'm freaked out by Fenric. The idea of needing to rely on your faith is really scary to me. Especially considering I have a lot of trauma around religion.

For the audios, just the concept of the Neverpeople scares me (so more than anything, I'm scared of the timelords and what they're capable of). The idea that you're not just killed, but completely erased from history freaks me out. Like you're leaving no legacy behind, no memories. Nothing you've done would matter. Whew, yikes!

Most recently, the wasp(s) creature from the EDA The Eater of Wasps. It didn't particularly scare me, but it did really gross me out. I'm sure you can tell why from the book title by itself lmao

[lilliths-httyd-blog]

thoughts on birds

i love kiwis so much. they're so big. i've always wanted to hold one and snuggle them close because they're so fluffy but i would never touch one because they are too precious and also too violent. these fuckers would kick my teeth out. peck my fingers. i once witnessed two kiwi try to tear each other to shreds. lemme tell ya, these fuckers hiss like pissed-off cats and are just as blood-thirsty. if they could fly they'd be swooping people like magpies in aussie do.

kea are my favourite bird hands down. their cries make me wanna tear up from happiness like i am so lucky to live in the same country as these fuckers. they will tear and rip and shred everything i own to pieces and i will fucking let them because that's so based of them. they're just little balls of fun and destruction, they're just like me fr. i wanna be re-incarnated as one of these fuckers.

weka are like the angstier teenage version of kea tbh. they're like if a kea made an edgy YA novel oc. they're just as chaotic and destructive but they're not playful, they're like an angsty vigilante's who steal food from wheelie bins to feed their chicks or whatever. their cries are annoying as fuck but in a cool way. i love these fuckers sm.

if you haven't heard the noises these motherfuckers make you are missing out. tui aren't my favourite bird but they come fucking close. favourite bird call ever. also their feathers look like paua shells so. epic bird right there.

kereru look like they're wearing wifebeaters and honestly they look like every dad in media ever. pair these fuckers with a screwdriver, a beer can and a tv remote and boom you've got the dad bird. nothing is as frightening as wandering around in the new zealand bush all quiet enjoying the sounds of the piwakawaka or whatever and suddenly you've getting swooped by one of these. that's trauma right there.

pukeko. dumbass bird. we ran into some today who did not understand the concept of road safety. we slowed down to like 5 km/h and tried to herd them off the road and they ran closer to the car. to be fair i've witnessed these fuckers fight each other and they're about as violent as kiwi.

[nerves-nebula]

Okay all of this 2k12 turtle talk is mildly hilarious as someone who, while grew up watching 2k3 and even the 2k7 movie before 2k12 popped up and I irregularly caught it on the TV, still found myself drawn to those turtles the most BECAUSE of abusive dynamics that resonated with me.

I haven’t watched Rise yet (gotta do that at some point !), to preface. But since I was a kid I was definitely aware of abuse within the 2k12 family simply because I interpolated my own interpretations to situations beyond their reach to match my own lived experience yknow? Like you said, creating art to make something of your own trauma. I was an angry eldest child who went through ODD and depression+anxiety diagnoses before the ADHD one (and a softcore autism diagnosis, ig? it’s complicated) so of course I was drawn to the way Raphael was angry. Of course I was drawn to the way he lashed out at his brothers and friends emotionally and physically in a way I’ve done a lot. I understood the feeling of being so upset that you want to upset others (particularly authority figures) to make them understand the way you feel, even though you love them. It’s easier to be angry than it is to be sad, too. And of course I was drawn to Leonardo, eldest sibling syndrome incarnate, as I grew into the role of a parent in the household. Of course I disliked Splinter, because those conversations with Leonardo about it all reminded me of my home in a negative way. Discipline, the word, still makes me emotional.

So, I DO think there’s abusive themes in 2k12, but that’s why I liked it. Arguing over how good and bad fictional characters are in earnest has always seemed silly, but to dismiss interpreted abuse as bashing the show or characters is worse imo. (I think people who definitively label characters in the same, unrelenting way to undermine a show, it’s characters, or the fans is equally silly). I don’t know, those conversations struck a chord with me as a 2k12 fan solely due to their dysfunction.

Ahck sorry for the text wall !! Jus wanna add that it’s also why I love YOUR comics and work so much, they’ve helped a lot of people understand and be open about themselves and their experiences and I think you can tell from the asks. Doesn’t hurt to say it though. It helped me, it brings me joy, so thank you! ❤️

still found myself drawn to those turtles the most BECAUSE of abusive dynamics that resonated with me.

NOO Like this is the main reason i was first interested in watching 2012 instead of any of the other iterations after Rise too!!

I understood the feeling of being so upset that you want to upset others (particularly authority figures) to make them understand the way you feel, even though you love them. It’s easier to be angry than it is to be sad, too.

relatable, tbh. when i was younger i CHOSE to be sad instead of angry most of the time. I chose to blame myself and shut down, because I'd never want to put someone through the terror and pain I felt. but then as I grew up i realized just how much it was hurting me and how UNFAIR it all was. And then I realized how much the people hurting me the most DIDNT EVEN CARE.

I'm still distressed tho cause now I have a habit of lashing out at people when I feel like they don't understand, to try to make them feel the way I do. but at the end of the day I don't ACTUALLY want them in tears, I want them to UNDERSTAND my feelings and that's just!! not gonna happen through cruelty!!

Arguing over how good and bad fictional characters are in earnest has always seemed silly, but to dismiss interpreted abuse as bashing the show or characters is worse imo.

vIBEs. good opinions here no notes. Only thing I can add is that I've been given a few accounts of what is CLEARLY character bashing in popular parts of the fandom so I totally get people who get annoyed/skeeved out by it.

Jus wanna add that it’s also why I love YOUR comics and work so much, they’ve helped a lot of people understand and be open about themselves and their experiences and I think you can tell from the asks.

augh you're all such daRLING sweethearts about it. literally don't even worry, I do this for myself for the most part and all the good that comes afterwards is just a happy side effect.

[dogydayz]

Something I really really love specifically about Shadow, as a character, is his entire.... like. Thing. Who he is. Who he becomes. Like, ignoring more recent incarnations of him, he's such a fucking cool and inspiring character.

Hear me out. His whole story is insanely fucking tragic, every part of what he was meant to be, why he was created, etc., has been tugged back and forth between people and groups. Some want him as a weapon, when he wasn't designed to be like that, and his original purpose is now seemingly long gone to him as the one he was supposed to protect was killed just to try to save him. It was his for him to be made that an ancient and devastating hive mind of aliens tried to take over the fucking planet. It was because of events tied to him that the sweet man who made him went fucking insane in the end. His entire existence has caused, either in his own eyes or according to others, pain and destruction for the world he wishes to protect because of a promise he made to the one he believes he'd "failed".

Nearly all of the endings to Shadow The Hedgehog (2005) besides the true ending have something to do with him succumbing to those ideas and snapping, or succumbing to those ideas and being so depressed that in some of them he LITERALLY KILLS HIMSELF. Because he thinks it would be what would truly help others...

That many endings with that sort of theme really show just how much this shit affects him mentally, how much he suffers from it...

But what ACTUALLY happens? What does he ACTUALLY end up doing?

Well.

He essentially says "fuck you I'm NOT giving up, I don't fucking care if the world is against, I'm not giving up on it and I'm GOING to make a life for myself goddamn it!!!"

He's been hit and abused so many times, he's been thrown around by others, he's been used for others' benefits, he's been considered nothing more than a super-weapon... And yet he doesn't fucking stop. He doesn't let that crush him in the end, he doesn't let that destroy him. He gives a shit about people, a big shit about them. He loves so much that it's seemingly what gives him his ability to be so strong. He's chooses, instead of falling into a spiral of rage or self-loathing, to not only accept himself but EMBRACE himself, he loves the world and he loves life and he loves people and he REFUSES to give up on others. He isn't just doing it because of that promise anymore, it's not out of spite for those who hated him either, he genuinely fucking wants to help people, he is his own person yet he never tries to write off his past. He accepts it as part of what makes him himself, while still choosing his own life.

I don't know if my incoherent ramblings make much sense tbh, but I love him so fucking much because he's the goddamn type of inspiration that a LOT of people absolutely need to see. He's overcome his trauma, he's learned to be his own person, and not only that, but he's come to ACCEPT who he is because he's confident in himself, he KNOWS himself, and he believes in himself.

He's genuinely such a cool fucking character and I really really hope that more people see this side of him when they enter into the fandom, because even I had absolutely not known of any of this prior to me falling into it all.

I adore him with all of my heart.

[neptuniadoesstuff]

OC asks:

What is Cobalt a tribreed of? And why were they replaced? / what did they do to make that happen.

Does fatima have a noirvillah au? :0 what about Isma?

Does Hadeon have much influence? Or are they locked away?

What were some of Bryndhild’s more important past incarnations?

1: Cobalt is a tribreed of a Eldahk, a Fezar, & a Sporis Mynk. Also the reason why his ancestor was replaced with Mina's current champion was bcs unlike Bryndhild, he didn't truly seem to eager on the job of being a champion & also bcs bro was pretty lazy, which Cobalt wasn't too happy about today, even if he's ded now, Cobalt's family still feel shame bcs what their ancestor did was only have some poor young girl go through extreme pain over & over again each Era.

2: I'm still thinking of what Fatima will be in Noirvillah as well I already figured out what Isma will be. (Isma is the argonian named Wields-Blades-of-Diamond or just Dia for short)

3: Hadeon has some sort of influence, but for the most part it's mainly in that cannibalistic cult thing where everyone wears red & dark blue spiked masks- (Although Radeon has been locked up before by Vallah at least 5 times... & it's gonna be the 6th time when she finally catches them again)

4: Brynd doesn't truly remember much since it's kinda. Thing where she loses the memories of her past incarnations bcs of the trauma she had to face in the Mortal realm. But there was a time she was killed by a boulder on some important mission to slay a noble which she was resurrected automatically bcs she can't just die without finishing her job. (Just don't ask her what she was, all she's gonna say is the locals didn't like her all to much at that time of her life)

Das it rlly tbh.