#transmigrator tries to change the story

[truly-morgan]

[Transmigrator!JC, no core transfer]

ChangXian | Mo Dao Zu Shi 27-03-2021

[#jiangcheng #chengxian - transmigrator]

A reader transmigrates into jc after they died in an accident. He's in a child version of him and doesn't remember the detail of mdzs, the system won't let him remember yet, but he does know that he's not the original jc. No one noticed because jc doesn't have another choice but to follow jc canon personality, as he cannot be ooc. He does win some ooc pass, but he decides to keep them for more strategic moments of the story. He wants to fix some parts that could have been /so easily/ avoided if everyone had decided that communication was a useful thing to do. 

So, everything goes rather well and follows canon until the dreaded moment of losing his golden core. This is something he knew would happen but still ended up being painful as hell, even seeing his parent dead was seriously upsetting (having gotten attached to them despite himself).  

Yet he his rather calm when wwx and WN saved him from the wens, because jc isn't og!jc, not being able to cultivate anymore (especially since he knew it would happen) is something he had already somewhat made peace with even before it happened. He already knew. 

wwx is really worried, because /how/ can his jc be /this calm/ at the idea of not having a core anymore?!? He still tries to reassure him with false promise, terrified by this calm shidi of his, even more when he has a smile showing he know wwx doesn't know what to do either and that he’s just spilling bullshit to reassure the both of them. 

Jc won't even let the it of transferring golden core bloom in wwx mind and politely thanks wq for hiding them and healing his other wounds. This also surprised wwx, because he would never have expected for his shidi to act like this with a wen after what happened, or maybe was it just because they helped? 

Then they started travelling around, obviously unable to go back to lp. wwx tries to find way to build back a golden core, even though it is impossible. After some time of finding nothing, while jc does know how he could, but still isn’t sure if he wants to try. 

He has to take back lp and rebuilt it, but he cannot do this very well without any way to cultivate it. Then one day when they are staying in a cave far from the town filled with wens, wwx calls out to him. “Do you think using... never mind, you won’t agree” he started, before mumbling the end of it. 

“Were you talking about your idea of using demonic cultivation?” he asks, a little smile on his face at how surprised wwx was. Maybe he had not expected for jc to both remember and even seem alright with using it. 

jc ends up convincing to go to the burial mounds, trying to “just guess” where they could start better. wwx isn’t so sure about it, but with how confident jc seems to be about this, he helps him fly there. 

They are here for months of wwx wrecking his brain to help jc, motivated by the idea that he would be able to cultivate again, in a way. He even creates the Stygian Tiger Seal, although he makes jc promise that he will use it only in desperate times, because he cannot tell how powerful this weapon is exactly. Jc agrees, but mostly because he knows what this can do and doesn’t want to use it carelessly. 

They suddenly make both their appearance, ready to help in the sunshot campaign, in which jc prove himself to be really powerful with his new way of cultivating, wwc close behind to protect him from criticism. They don’t tell anyone about his missing golden core, as this is not something he wants to be known and tries ignoring what people say about his new way of cultivating. 

“Let them talk” had once said jc as wwx was getting worked up about what one of the sect leaders had said about him, “Their words mean nothing, it won’t stop me from rebuilding Lotus Pier and pulling back up the sect”. 

Once the sunshot campaign is won, and his sister married (which jzx better take good care of her, otherwise he better expect one angry sect leader at the step of Koi Tower), he does just that, rebuilding the whole of lp with the help of wwx. 

After the campaign was over jc also slowed down on how much he was using demonic cultivation. One canon dead wwx was enough to know what could happen, he didn’t believe himself to be better. Yet it was still clearly taking a toll on him, wwx starting to regret letting him do this. 

He agreed on letting lwj play Song of Clarity for him, which was something the lan had been insisting on doing for a long time, clearly not approving of the new path he was taking. Lwj visits were frequent, jc looking from the side wwx getting friendlier with him, making him ach a bit despite being happy to see them finally getting closer. 

Yet after sometimes it is a bit hard for lwj to come often, as cr is also being rebuilt, lxc needing his brother’s help. It’s when they are visiting cr to give a hand and talk with the new sect leader that wwx suddenly asked if he can learn song of clarity. Even jc is surprised by the sudden request his shixiong makes, as this wasn’t something one should request, yet he doesn’t look anywhere near teasing, a serious look on his face. 

He wants to help jc and he will find a way to help him not deteriorate with the demonic cultivation he was doing. Lqr clearly wants to refuse directly, yet it’s lwj who asks why he wants to learn it. It takes some time for wwx to explain he wants to be able to play it for jc. They back and forth a lot, mainly because they don’t understand why jc /won’t give up/ using demonic cultivation. 

“It is the only way I can cultivate now, I do not have a golden core anymore” jc finally says as wwx and lqr were getting more heated by the second. This makes a heavy silence fall in the room, every lans looking shocked by the news, while wwx gives him a “is it alright to tell?” look. 

They check to make sure, though they doubt anyone would lie about such a serious matter, and realise that /it is/ the only way he can cultivate. They by no means agree with it, but they can’t find it to force him to not cultivate anymore, especially as a sect leader. They reluctantly agreed, mostly because lwj had decided to side with wwx at some point, on the condition that wwx had to follow cr rules for the time he was here studying song of Clarity.

Jc sometimes barely believed it when he was told that /wwx/ was actually following rules, mostly too occupied with learning and practising. The first times he plays Song of Clarity, lwj is always near, just to make sure he does it right, until it is sure his good the intention wouldn’t cause for jc condition to get worst.

Soon he was able to play it alone for jc, probably more often than needed, but they both enjoyed the alone time it would give them. Something in jc was really happy to have these moments, where wwx thoughts were only on him. Yet when he realised, he had such thoughts, he tried pushing them away. He couldn’t start feeling things for him if it was only to have his heart broken later on. 

The rescue of the wens finally came, something he had been wondering if it would still happen. At this point, he couldn’t tell what should stay canon and what would have been fully altered by him and his choices. He was surprised by the ooc moment he could have, only able to guess the system was allowing for a new type of character growth. After all, it had never /actually/ pushed for following the canon religiously. wwx was the one to be found by wq first, asked if he could help her to get back her family that had been taken captive by the Lanling Jin clan. As the discussion gets a bit more tense, wwx not really wanting to cause trouble by disrupting the llj clan. Jc suddenly appear, wondering what had kept wwx out for so long. 

Wq is quick to ask him, unsure if seeking the sect leader's help would do anything, yet to both their surprise jc accept without much debate. Jc had always had a little soft spot for wn when he was reading and hoped they still had time to save him, as he couldn’t remember exactly how long after the campaign the rescue had been. 

Jc and wwx then ague for a while, wq taking some rest in one of their room. “The other sect leaders are already wary of you because of your cultivation?! Why do you want to give them more reason to distrust you?” wwx ask, something twisting in jc’s guts because of how worried he sounded, as if this action alone was going to cause him to die or something. 

“wq and her brother saved us when they could have simply let the wen find us again” he points out at some point, wwx unable to argue that. “Plus not every wen are horrible monster, do you think the old and the children are the one who burned down lotus pier?” he asked, playing on his knowledge of who exactly was wq family. Not anyone who had done anything wrong, other maybe than her to keep them safe. 

“I will bring them back here and we will deal with the aftermath later”. 

It was extremely reckless of him to do such a thing. Sure, jyl was married to the llj sect, but it didn’t mean he could just take away people they had decided to detain. Just thinking back to how they were most likely being treated was enough to want and help. 

And they did, getting in without much care in the world, jc following wq as she looked around for wn, his guts twisting more and more as time passed and they couldn’t find him. Wwx was close by, glaring back at the cultivator trying to hide what they had done. 

They were digging their hole, yet jc had to stay calm, knowing that killing them would do no good, stealing away prisoners was already too much. He was going to argue back at the bullshit they were saying, clearly not seeing these people as human, when a wail made him freeze. Oh. They were too late. 

Jc was the first one to start running, follow closely behind by wwx, finding quite easily wq who was clutching her brother close to her, the scene making his heart cry. He clenched his fists, his breathing heavy. 

Of course, they would be late. 

He startles a bit when a hand grabbed his, wwx looking back at him worried. He tries to look calmer to reassure him, giving a small pat to his hand before joining wq, asking her if she could find the rest of her family, taking in his arms wn body. 

The rest of their little visit went a bit less smoothly, the guard clearly understanding now what he was trying to do, which was not merely looking around. He /did/ ends up fighting with them, but to be fair, they were the one who started it, and he didn’t kill anyone. 

Soon they were out with everyone and he was taking them back to lp, where he would have full control. He'd be curious to see who was ready to barge into his home to get them back. When they arrived, every disciple in lp was surprised by what their sect leader had just brought back, yet no one really dared to argue against it. If he was doing it there had to be a good reason, he wouldn’t be bringing in people from a clan that had burned down lp and killed many of their disciples if he didn’t have a reason. 

Some of the wens were also clearly on edge, unsure why they were being brought here. Yet, if wq had sought their help, then they could most likely relax. They were led to some of the guest rooms to be able to rest, asking one of the healers to go and check on everyone’s wounds to help wq, she had to be tired too. 

They took wn back to the study, both cultivators looking at him. “What do we do now?” wwx asked him, looking a bit worried at how tired his shidi was from all the travelling and the fight from earlier, not helping that he had to order everyone around to make sure things were going smoothly here too. 

“Tomorrow we will most likely receive news from sect leader jgs” he points out, the idea already tiring him, “but that’s for tomorrow, right now our mind should be put on finding how to settle the wen in and what to do with... wn” he says, hesitating about the last part. 

Could they manage to revive him the same way wwx had done it before? Would it work if it was here at lp and not the burial mounds? Wwx wanted to ask what he wanted to do with wn, but wq joined them before, making her presence known at the door. Jc let her in, making place so she can come and join them. 

Wn looked a bit better, as he had been cleaned up from the mud a little bit, just enough for him not to look impossible to deal with. He could see the tears welling up at the corner of her eyes, making him look back at wn. He had used him as a fierce corps by accident, mostly because only fighting with a sword and no core wouldn't do go against more than one cultivator. 

“I think we can do something for him," e said, hearing his name loudly whispered to his right. He decided to carefully explain is plan, acting as if it was an idea that had just bloomed in his mind and was not something he simply had known since forever that they could do that. 

Then he saw the helpfulness in her eyes, feeling like this was enough for him not to give up. They talk some more before he just told her to go and sleep, he would make sure everyone was alright. 

“jc! How do you plan on doing this?! By controlling him like a puppet" finally asked wwx when wq was gone, making him look back at him. “We will find a way, I just… know we can do it, we already managed to make so much with this, there is surely a way we can do it l". He couldn't tell /how/ they would do it, as the novel had never explicitly said it, but they had been experimenting and this would most likely end up working. 

Wwx got closer to him, reaching for his hand “I don't want you overworking yourself, with your cultivation path it-

could be…” he had said worried, not daring to say what could happen. 

Jc squeezed his hands reassuringly, offering a smile. “I won't overwork myself" he simply promised. 

A promise that was a bit hard to follow when first thing happening the next day was a couple a llj cultivators at the door of lp demanding that he surrender the wens. He stays firm on his position and refuse, saying he will be taking them in due to debt needing to be paid to wq. He doesn't explain more on that,  but it's clearly not pleasing. 

The following days are tiring and messy, jc having to take care of anything coming from the other sect leader, looking over the small house that is being constructed for the wens, which is close enough to the centre of lp to not exclude them. All this while also working with wwx to see what they can do about wn. 

It's not long before it is visibly all affecting him, wwx only growing more concerned about him because he wasn't trying to be more careful. At some point, jc is invited at kt with the other great clan leaders, to discuss the matter and see if they could settle everything with some talking. Jc knows it probably all to try and force him to give back the wens, but he won’t let jgs believe he can just make him do whatever he wants simply because he’s still rebuilding the ymj sect and because he’s young compared to all of them. 

Wwx insists on coming with him, although he said he would prefer for his right-hand man to stay and makes sure everything is alright. “But who will play the song of clarity for you? And what if they are luring you in for a fight? If you use your cultivation, they will only use it against you” 

Jc really wants to refuse, yet upon looking at his shixiong he cannot, the worry in his eyes too much. He has truly fallen too much for him and he doesn’t know what he’ll do about this. So, he accepts to let him come with him, asking some of his older disciples to make sure everything is going alright. Of course, he makes it really clear that the wens have to be treated correctly, just in case anyone was still unsure. 

The first meeting is tense, jc sitting with his back straight, head high, wwx just the same slightly behind him. Nothing in his stance shows he will give even /one/ wen to them. Yet they try, but word will clearly not reach him. “But didn’t the wen destroy lotus pier?” jgs, whispers and nods coming soon after. “So you believe the olds and the sick were the one who burned down lotus pier? As if I haven’t already found back /who/ actually did it and taken care of that?”. 

This statement sent a shiver down some of the leader's back, not sure what to think about the possibility of what jc might have done to these cultivators. “But can they be trusted?”. 

“Are you perhaps implying I cannot make a judgement for myself? I have my reason to take them in and do not need to disclose them” 

The meeting ends up on a rather tense note, everyone going back to their room to calm down a bit as things were clearly not going anywhere. This repeats itself many times, until jc finally suggests that he keeps them under close watch, not allowed to put a foot outside of lp and that they can even send someone to come of to verify that he’s not lying and that none of them are complotting against them. 

“This sounds fair to me” comments lxc who hadn’t said much since this all had started, making wwx and jc a bit surprised, although it was good to have someone else seemingly on their sides. Soon it’s turn for nmj to accept the suggestion, following the step of his sworn brother despite his hatred of the wens., leaving jgs nearly no room to actually refuse. They go back to lp with lwj and jzx so take a first look at how things are doing. A weight does lift from jc shoulders when everything seems to be doing good, everyone working well together. It clearly is still a bit awkward between the jiang and the wens, but it is better than it was at first. 

And this is how thing goes for the following months. Things settle down, the rebuilding of lp is coming to an end and the wens are fully settled in, some even helping around to do task with the disciple. The one to come the most is lwj, which jc doesn’t mind as he can push wwx a bit more towards him, so they can get closer. 

Their friendship does seem to grow, but something seems to simply block at that and jc wonders if the story had changed for that. Was wangxian not the main couple anymore? This couldn’t be possible, could it? 

He tries asking wwx about it, yet his shixiong only seems to get a bit tense at how insistent he had been in the last months to see them growing closer. “Why do you keep asking how things are doing between me and lwj?” he finally asked as he was putting away his guqin. 

“Well, you’re been around him a lot lately, I was simply wondering” 

“But you are the one always asking me to be with him!”. Jc doesn’t argue that, he might have often found reason to let wwx takes care of lwj because he had other things to do. Really lwj didn’t seem bothered by these decisions. “Do you hate being around lwj?” he asked, unsure if he might have read it wrong all this time. 

“Well, no... he’s a good friend and more fun to be with than I thought, but... why does it seem like you are pushing me away?” he ask, something jc couldn’t decipher in his voice. 

“I am not pushing you away” he tries, only to realise he might have been doing it despite himself. He wanted for wwx to be happy and his growing love would only get in the way eventually. “I just thought you might enjoy some time with someone else than me”. 

“But I am good with you! I don’t need you to push me on someone else when I like being with you”. 

Jc is a bit stunned by this, a little something in him swelling with hope he knew he shouldn’t have. Jc then took in a breath, a bit shakier than he wanted it to be, trying to argue that wwx wouldn’t be able to always be by his side one day. 

“Are you planning on throwing me away one day?” he heard ask as he reopened his eyes after rubbing the tiredness out of them, surprised to see wwx so close to him now. He looks so pained at the idea of being pushed away, either now or in the future. 

“of course not, it just... complicated,” he says, a hand suddenly grabbing his gently, something he found wwx had been doing a lot lately. “I can help you if it’s complicated” he hears, a reassuring smile on his shixiong lips, making jc want to be selfish a little bit and /actually/ confess right here and there, despite not being sure wwx would even reciprocate it. 

“I want it to still be only the two of us like this forever” he finally hears whispered, wwx getting dangerously closer to him, “isn’t it what you also want to do?”. 

He can feel wwx breath against his skin, his lips ô so close to his, he would barely need to move to close the gap. “Are you sure this is really what you want” manages to whisper jc, looking back into wwx eyes, feeling unsure if he was understanding it correctly. “As been for a long time” The closeness doesn’t really-

let him see the smile, but he can hear it and see it in his eyes. 

Then jc decide to say ‘fuck it’ and simply closed the gap, receiving a delighted humming as wwx quickly replied. It’s a bit awkward at first, since jc has never done this before, but he quickly finds how it all works and just enjoys the kisses they are sharing. 

“For how long as a-cheng felt like this?” he hears against his ear, his grip on wwx robe tightening a bit. “Sometimes” he answers, unsure exactly when he might have fallen in love with wwx, only to dismiss it as some kind of really close friendship he had with him. He knew he had started to notice around the sunshot campaign, when lwj had started to be a bit more around wwx. 

“I am happy to hear it, I have love a-cheng for some time now” he hears, taking him aback as he had never realised, yet feeling really happy about it. 

Oh well, jc wouldn’t mind if this new version of mdzs had him as the protagonist's new love interest, it could make for something more exciting. 

====

(I think I'll finish it here, it has gotten really long and word is telling me it has already it 4k. At this point I might as well just make a fanfiction of something like that. + I wasn’t sure how I would play the whole jgy plan now, might retouch it later on)

Original

[sunderwight]

Further speculation on Shen Yuan transmigrating in some kind of Beast:

Werewolf Shen Qingqiu.

And like, major emphasis on the wolf, in his case. Not wolfman. Every full moon Shen Qingqiu has to make arrangements for himself to turn into a gigantic silvery-white wolf that retains extremely little of his consciousness, and mostly just seems to want to do Wolf Things, though according to PIDW and all information he has on the matter, he ought to be turning into a violent and bloodthirsty predator.

However, it turns out that the wolf form does retain some awareness from the mind/soul of the human, meaning that the reason SJ's wolf was so incredibly unsafe to be around was because it was constantly trying to process SJ's trauma in wild animal terms. So, it was hostile towards the vast majority of humans and in a heightened state of anxiety, always anticipating violence (and reacting accordingly) whenever something unexpected happened. Matters were not helped by SJ's decision to try and lock himself up for every transformation, which of course freaked his wolf out even more (trapped) and resulted in self-harm as it desperately tried to escape. It was just that SJ interpreted the self-harm as a sign that the wolf was so extremely violent that it would cannibalize itself rather than go a single night without the taste of blood.

SY, who is a lot less traumatized, conversely has a much more calm and curious wolf. Like he's extremely cautious and nervous about the whole thing, because he's expecting it to be violent based on his information, and since he doesn't retain much awareness of his transformations he has little idea of what his wolf-self does. But he also isn't great at locking himself up like the original goods did, and he never really seems to wake up covered in blood or anything? Once or twice he thinks he might have hunted a rabbit, but they definitely were rabbits and not like his subconscious somehow going after children in the middle of a wilderness somewhere, because when he came to the wolf had brought the leftover bunny bits along back to the ruined temple he was supposed to be shutting himself up into.

The new Shen Qingqiu consequently gets a bit complacent about the whole thing. He can only blame himself. Maybe he should have anticipated Luo Binghe, with his boundless curiosity and interest in his shizun, would notice the oddities in his schedule and follow him out one night. Everyone's supposed to believe that he's just going to brothels and engaging in purely mundane debauchery, though, so why would Binghe doubt his story?

But he did, and so of course Luo Binghe ends up witnessing his shizun's terrible transformation into a wretched and hated beast. Stunned, the young disciple stands transfixed (no doubt in horror) in the moonlight. The wolf sees him, and though Shen Qingqiu doesn't retain much memory, he recollects the running, the leaping, the... uh... licking...?

Well. Turns out that even Shen Qingqiu's subconscious wolf mind recognizes Luo Binghe as pack, and thank goodness too, because at least he didn't attack him!

Although after that it becomes an extreme challenge to explain to Luo Binghe why he can't accompany Shen Qingqiu for his transformations every month. It's not safe, the wolf is unpredictable and Shen Qingqiu can't promise that he won't startle or suddenly change his tune and lash out, and even though Binghe's cultivation is progressing in leaps and bounds, the wolf also isn't limited to normal mortal strength. It would be able to track his scent and follow him relentlessly, chasing him down to catch and pin him beneath its massive paws, and... Binghe why is your face so red? Are you feeling alright? If it's too frightening, then let's not describe it any further, but the point is that it's dangerous.

Shen Qingqiu has to put his foot down. In the end, he has his suspicions that Binghe is still circumventing him, as he could swear he sometimes remembers running around the wilderness with company. (Binghe is absolutely sneaking out to go spend time with Wolf Shizun.) But there's nothing concrete enough to be certain. Meanwhile, Luo Binghe has at least agreed to keep it secret (for now -- probably not once the time comes for Shen Qingqiu to be put on trial) and fusses over his shizun, helping him keep track of the moon scheduling and always making sure he has a full belly before he goes into wilderness seclusion (Shen Qingqiu never says, but somehow Luo Binghe guesses anyway that he doesn't like waking up to find that the wolf had a snack during the night...)

Another hazard: lycanthropy in the PIDW setting is a curse. Like admittedly it's kind of a kickass one, but it still has tons of negative associations, most commonly befalling impoverished individuals or travelers who get bitten by wild wolf demons, and survive only to find that a piece of the wolf's spirit has gotten stuck to their own. Cultivators with lycanthropy are often associated with demons and disrepute, like Wu Yanzi, and there are countless tales of them turning on their own people or being revealed as violent, depraved criminals. It's only slightly more acceptable than being a demon outright.

In other words it's not a desirable circumstance.

And yet, for some reason, Luo Binghe is reprehensibly lapse in his protections against lycanthropy. Shen Qingqiu has told him all of the precautions he knows against it, and yet it's almost like Binghe keeps doing the exact opposite things! Listen, wolves are cool. Shen Qingqiu knows that. He's actually kind of fine with turning into one, since it seems to be less of a ravenous beast situation than he'd feared. But there are still social consequences to this kind of a thing! Luckily, it doesn't actually matter much because even with his uncharacteristic youthful irresponsibility, Binghe's heavenly demon blood protects him from ever being cursed. The only way he'd get lycanthropy would be if he deliberately let a werewolf bite him and then just refused to excise the curse, and even then, he could purge the tainted wolf spirit from him just by force of will whenever he wanted.

Seriously, though! It's only when Shen Qingqiu points out that Luo Binghe is going to make people suspicious with all his negligence towards basic precautions that Binghe finally smartens up about it.

(Luo Binghe, out in the woods during a full moon: Wolf Shizun please bite me? Bite Binghe? Then we can be together every full moon! Look here I'll stick my hand in your mouth... just, just chomp down... no don't lick... *sigh*...)

Anyway, the plot still goes mostly the same, except that when Shen Qingqiu put into the water prison it's the full moon. He expects this is part of Luo Binghe's plan against him -- Binghe probably couldn't reveal the lycanthropy without also admitting he'd known before and helped hide it, but this way, Shen Qingqiu can just get caught as a wolf by the palace guards. But Luo Binghe's just been so frazzled and distressed by everything that he genuinely forgot what phase the moon was on. Shen Qingqiu's expecting a lot of things when he wakes up after transforming in the Water Prison, but being back out of the Water Prison and snuggled up to the protagonist's chest wasn't on the list.

Turns out that after his confrontation with Luo Binghe and the Little Palace Mistress, Gongyi Xiao went to check on him and found him transformed. After Gongyi Xiao alerted the rest of the palace, the Palace Master determined that Shen Qingqiu being a werewolf was as good as a confirmation of guilt, and had the wolf dragged out to be killed. Luo Binghe intervened, Shen Qingqiu took off, and between one thing and another the whole night was spent with Huan Hua and Cang Qiong cultivators trying to catch him (for different reasons).

Of course it was Luo Binghe who eventually cornered the terrified wolf, at which point the wolf actually, finally did bite him. But when Binghe failed to react, it whimpered and went back to its usual behavior, and let Binghe lead it out of the city and off to its usual territory near Cang Qiong. The wolf then proceeded to act like an overjoyed puppy whose owner had finally come back from war, until Binghe broke down and sobbed himself to sleep. It must have curled up onto his chest afterwards.

Shen Qingqiu is deeply embarrassed, but... somehow Luo Binghe doesn't seem to be taking revenge on him?

He's going to need to treat that bite wound soon, though.

Binghe.

Binghe, you are going to treat that--

[aesthetically-dying101]

Very long but just asking if u wanna do a oneshot in this. What about the reader being a person transmigrating into the Jjk world , but for whatever they change they need to place someone else so like for example to prevent anyone from dying they need to die/or someone else needs too , so the reader tries to save nanami but then nanami dosent know that the reader has more than one life(reader will regress until she changes the fate of everyone) and so he breakdown realising the person whom he cherished gone for him but then she comes back alive but nanami forgot about the reader (he hasn't confessed but he liked the reader, and whom ever she saves they forget about her)

A/N: screaming and throwing up THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, anyways... yeah. took me a second to answer this cause i wanted to make it perfect hhehehehhehee

warnings: death. angst, sadness, pain and emotional torture, BUT, happy ending so don't come at me with pitchforks, also this is LONG, inaccurate description of being a midwife.

You never asked for this.

Hell, you didn’t even know what this was. Some cosmic punishment? Divine irony? Whatever cruel god—or thing—out there had pulled the strings to place you here, in a world where death loomed as naturally as breath, must’ve been laughing their omniscient ass off.

Because you were a joke.

Transmigration? Sure. Sounds exciting. New life, new opportunities, maybe a harem if fate was feeling extra generous. But this wasn’t one of those stories. No, this was a twisted little tragedy dressed up like a second chance. Every change you made to save someone—a person, a moment, a goddamn outcome—came with an unbreakable price.

One life for another.

And here you were, the cosmic accountant in charge of balancing that equation.

But no one told you how much it would hurt.

Nanami Kento’s life hung in the balance, and you couldn’t let it happen.

Not him. Not now. Not ever.

His death was etched into the timeline—clear as blood on pavement, sharp as the edge of a curse’s touch (fuck you Mahito). You’d seen it a dozen times, the vision playing out like a film reel stuck on a loop. The exact moment when his light would go out, when his voice would falter, and the world would swallow him whole. And no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t escape the truth: if you wanted him to live, you had to die.

Again.

You wanted to scream. To cry. To rage against the stars and demand an explanation, a reprieve, anything but this endless, unbearable cycle. But there was no one to hear you. Just the echo of your own thoughts bouncing back, mocking you.

Because deep down, you knew.

You’d already made your choice.

I’m sorry, Kento.

The words echoed in your mind, a prayer he would never hear.

And then it happened. The shift. The reset.

It always felt like utter shit, like your nerves were being pulled from your body like some weird puppet.

The world trembled, reality folding in on itself like a film reel burning out, and you felt it—the sharp, searing pain of being erased. It was always like this. Your existence, your memories, every fleeting moment you’d shared with the people you saved—gone, wiped clean like you’d never been there at all.

When the world righted itself again, you were already fading. You saw Nanami kneeling beside you, his hands shaking as he cradled your face. There was something in his eyes—grief, confusion, disbelief. Like he was trying to hold onto something he couldn’t quite name.

But even as you looked into his eyes, you could see it happening. The forgetting. The cruel, unrelenting hand of fate wiping you from his mind, piece by agonizing piece.

You wanted to scream, to beg the universe for mercy, to cling to the fragile thread of connection between you. But it was too late.

It was always too late.

*-*

Nanami woke up confused.

He hadn't noticed it at first.

The hollow feeling crept in quietly, like a thief slipping through a crack in the door. He chalked it up to exhaustion, a natural byproduct of this cursed life.

Another mission, another brush with death (fuck you Mahito), another day spent wondering why he was still fighting in a world that seemed determined to grind people like him into dust.

But it didn’t go away.

If anything, it grew worse. It gnawed at the edges of his mind, a shadowy presence that whispered something is wrong. He couldn’t place it. Couldn’t name it. But it was there, constant and maddening, like a tune he couldn’t quite recall no matter how hard he tried.

He sat alone in the faculty lounge, the quiet hum of the overhead lights doing little to ease the unease coiling in his chest. His fingers tapped absently against the table as he stared into the void of his coffee mug.

Empty.

Fitting.

“Nanami.”

He looked up to see Gojo leaning casually against the doorframe, his ever-present blindfold pushed slightly upward to reveal one piercing eye. He wore his usual grin, but there was something in his tone that felt off.

Concern, maybe. Or as close to it as Gojo ever got.

“Is this about the mission? You’ve been acting weirder than usual.”

Nanami sighed, his gaze dropping back to his mug. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, no,” Gojo said, striding into the room with that infuriating confidence of his. “You’re not. You’re sulking more than usual, and honestly, that’s saying something.”

“Gojo, I’m not in the mood.”

Gojo paused, leaning against the table, his grin fading just enough to reveal the seriousness beneath. “You sure? Because you don’t look fine. You look... I don’t know. Like you’ve lost something.”

The words hit harder than they should have.

Nanami stiffened, his fingers tightening around the handle of his mug. Lost something. Yes. That was exactly it. But what?

He opened his mouth to respond, but the words caught in his throat. What was he supposed to say? That he felt like he was mourning something he couldn’t even remember? That every time he closed his eyes, he felt the weight of a name he couldn’t recall?

“Nanami?” Gojo’s voice softened, just barely. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Nanami admitted, the frustration bleeding into his voice. He set the mug down harder than he intended, the sound echoing in the empty room. “I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s like...” He trailed off, his jaw tightening as he searched for the right words. “It’s like there’s a hole in my chest. Like something’s missing, but I can’t remember what. Or who.”

Gojo straightened, the teasing edge vanishing from his expression. “That’s... not nothing.”

“No, it isn’t.”

The silence that followed was heavy, broken only by the distant hum of the school’s ventilation system.

“Have you talked to Shoko?” Gojo finally asked.

Nanami shook his head.

“You should,” Gojo said, his tone oddly serious. “Maybe it’s... I don’t know, stress or something. But if it’s bothering you this much—”

“It’s not stress,” Nanami snapped, more forcefully than he intended. He exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I just... I don’t think this is something a doctor can fix.”

Gojo studied him for a moment, his expression unreadable behind the blindfold. Then he gave a small nod. “Alright. But if you ever feel like talking about it... You know where to find me.”

Nanami didn’t respond, and Gojo left without another word.

*-*

Later, Nanami found himself in Shoko’s office, though he wasn’t entirely sure how he got there. She glanced up from her paperwork as he entered, raising an eyebrow.

“Kento,” she said, setting down her pen. “Didn’t think I’d be seeing you in here. You’re usually too stubborn to admit when something’s wrong.”

“Maybe something is wrong,” he said, his voice quieter than usual.

She gestured for him to sit, her expression softening. “Alright. What’s going on?”

Nanami hesitated. How was he supposed to explain this? How did you put words to something you didn’t understand yourself?

“I feel like...” He paused, his hands gripping the armrests of the chair. “Like there’s something I’ve forgotten. Or someone.”

Shoko tilted her head, her gaze sharp and analytical. “Forgotten how? Like a memory?”

“No,” Nanami said, shaking his head. “It’s... deeper than that. It’s not just a memory. It’s like... like a piece of me is missing. Like a part of my soul is just... gone.”

The words felt ridiculous coming out of his mouth, but they were the only ones that made sense.

Shoko frowned, her fingers drumming lightly against the desk. “That’s... specific. And unsettling.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Have you felt this way before?”

“No,” Nanami said, the frustration seeping into his voice again. “And that’s the problem. It’s not going away. It’s there every second of the day, this... emptiness. Like I’m mourning something I can’t even name.”

Shoko leaned back in her chair, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “That’s not exactly a common complaint, you know.”

“I figured as much.”

Silence settled over the room, heavy and uncomfortable.

“I can run some tests,” Shoko finally said. “But... if this is what I think it might be—if it’s something supernatural—I don’t know if I’ll be able to help.”

Nanami nodded, though it did little to ease the weight in his chest.

“Thank you,” he said, standing to leave.

“Kento.”

He paused, turning back to look at her.

“You said it feels like someone’s missing,” she said carefully. “If that’s true... maybe you haven’t forgotten them entirely. Maybe some part of you remembers.”

Her words struck a chord, resonating in a way he couldn’t explain.

“Maybe,” he said, though he didn’t sound convinced.

As he walked out of her office, the ache in his chest remained, a hollow, unrelenting reminder of something—or someone—he couldn’t name. It felt like a wound that would never heal, a ghost haunting the edges of his mind.

And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was missing the most important part of himself.

*-*

The first thing you realized after your grand sacrifice was this: dying hurts like hell.

The second thing? Waking up hurts worse.

It wasn’t the physical pain—though that wasn’t exactly a picnic, either. No, it was the sharp, bone-deep knowledge that you were alive and he didn’t know you existed. That every shared smile, every subtle glance, every unspoken connection had been wiped from Nanami Kento’s memory, replaced with a hollow nothing.

You hadn’t saved him to be remembered, of course. You weren’t that naive. But knowing he was alive didn’t dull the ache of losing him in every other way.

He’s safe, you reminded yourself bitterly as you sat on the edge of your unfamiliar bed, staring blankly at the floor. Alive and safe and probably eating his bland little breakfast and being unreasonably handsome about it. Mission accomplished, right?

Your fingers dug into your thighs as you leaned forward, elbows on knees, the weight of the whole cursed situation pressing down on your chest.

So why does this feel like the universe took a baseball bat to my heart?

You knew the answer, of course. Because Nanami Kento wasn’t just some guy you decided to save on a whim. He was the man you loved—the man you’d given up everything for. And now? Now he’d never even know your name.

You laughed, but it was hollow, sharp, and bitter enough to leave a metallic taste in your mouth. “Fate’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”

*-*

You didn’t want to see him. You shouldn’t want to see him.

But you did.

Because you were weak, and desperate, and a little masochistic, apparently. So, two days after you’d died to save him, you found yourself lingering outside his apartment building like some sort of creep.

Not your proudest moment.

You leaned against a lamppost across the street, your hood pulled low over your face as you sipped on a lukewarm coffee you didn’t even want. The bitter liquid churned in your stomach, souring with every passing second, but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave.

It was ridiculous. You’d already confirmed that he was alive, that your little act of self-sacrifice hadn’t been in vain. What more did you need?

Closure?

The word popped into your head uninvited, unwelcome, and far too smug for its own good.

“Shut up,” you muttered to yourself, taking another sip of the coffee just to have something to do with your hands.

And then, there he was.

Nanami Kento, stepping out of his building at precisely the time you knew he would. Because of course he was predictable like that. Reliable. Steady. A creature of habit in a world that refused to make sense.

He looked the same as ever: impeccably dressed, tie perfectly knotted, his expression set in that familiar mask of calm focus. There wasn’t a single hair out of place, not a single crack in his polished exterior.

Except for his eyes.

There was something in them—a flicker of something restless, like he’d spent the night wrestling with shadows he couldn’t see.

He feels it too, you thought, your chest tightening.

It was ridiculous. You knew the rules, knew how this worked. He didn’t remember you. He couldn’t. Whatever lingering sense of unease he felt wasn’t about you. It couldn’t be.

And yet...

You watched as he paused on the sidewalk, his gaze flickering briefly toward the sky. His hand brushed against his chest, just over his heart, and for a moment, you let yourself imagine that he was thinking of you.

Stupid.

Your grip on the coffee cup tightened, the cardboard creaking in protest. What were you even doing here? Stalking the man you loved like some lovesick ghost, hoping for what? A glimpse of the life you’d sacrificed yourself to save?

Pathetic, you thought bitterly, pushing off the lamppost.

He started walking, his steps measured and deliberate, his briefcase swinging lightly at his side. You didn’t follow him—you weren’t that far gone—but you couldn’t quite tear your eyes away from his retreating figure.

You’d saved him. That was supposed to be enough.

So why did it feel like you’d lost everything?

You turned on your heel and walked in the opposite direction, your coffee abandoned in a nearby trash can. The ache in your chest was sharp and unrelenting, a constant reminder that you’d traded your happiness for his life.

“Alive and safe,” you muttered under your breath, the words bitter on your tongue. “Good for him.”

You didn’t cry. Not here, not now. You’d done enough crying already, and it wasn’t going to change anything.

But as you walked away from the man who didn’t even know you existed, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything left of you that was worth saving.

It feels like a slow, suffocating kind of emptiness, a vast, hollow pit where your heart used to be, gnawing away at the edges of your soul. There's an unbearable weight in knowing that Nanami is alive, thriving even, and yet you are nothing to him now—just a forgotten ghost, a passing shadow.

The ache is constant, curling around your chest like a vice, tight and unforgiving, until every breath feels like a reminder of your own sacrifice, of how you gave up everything and still ended up with nothing.

It's an endless, gnawing bitterness—part of you yearning for him to remember, to feel something, and another part of you scornfully accepting that he never will.

*-*

Nanami's week continued as if nothing had changed. The world kept turning, the usual grind of missions and meetings pulling him along in its ceaseless flow. But somewhere, beneath the surface of his everyday routine, something felt... off.

He couldn't put his finger on it, not at first. Maybe it was the way his mornings felt slightly more mechanical, like a performance rather than a natural flow. Or how the quiet of his apartment seemed a little more suffocating, a little more... lonely. But he pushed those feelings aside. He was fine.

He was always fine.

But the cracks kept showing, like tiny splinters in a glass that was slowly starting to break.

It started with the mug.

He didn’t know why he even noticed it, but there it was, sitting on his kitchen counter like it belonged to him. Except it didn’t.

It was a chipped, faded thing—nothing fancy, just a simple ceramic mug with a faded print of a cartoon cat wearing glasses. Nothing about it said “Nanami Kento.” He didn’t even like cats. He was sure of it. But here it was, nestled among his other mugs, like it had always been there.

He frowned, his hand hovering over it for a moment before picking it up. It was strangely comforting in its own way, like a forgotten memory trying to claw its way back to the surface.

The feeling was fleeting, and he shoved it down, setting the mug back on the counter and shaking his head.

Just tired. Probably stress from the missions.

*-*

Then there was the stack of birthday cards in his drawer.

Three of them.

Why three?

Well, if he used his common sense, one card for one birthday right? So one for the past three years.

It wasn’t his birthday.

It wasn’t even close to his birthday. So why the hell were there three cards, all with the same, ridiculous design? A cheap, cartoonish glitter pattern with tiny animals dressed up in party hats. He hadn’t even taken the time to read the inside of them—didn't need to. They were empty. All of them.

Who the hell would give him empty birthday cards? Who would keep them?

His fingers tightened around the cards, his mind racing for an explanation that didn’t make him feel like he was losing his grip on reality. But there was nothing. Just these stupid, empty cards.

Maybe... maybe someone thought this was funny? A joke, maybe?

He tossed the cards back into the drawer, but the nagging feeling in his gut wouldn’t go away. They’d been there for... how long? He couldn’t remember. But somehow, they’d never been thrown out.

*-*

The final straw came when he was sitting at his desk, trying to work through a mountain of paperwork, when his gaze drifted to the calendar on the wall.

It was a plain calendar, the kind you could buy anywhere. And yet, there was something strange about it.

A single Saturday was circled in bright red marker.

He blinked, staring at the date, but it didn’t make any sense. The day didn’t mean anything to him. He didn’t have any particular plans for it. He didn’t even remember marking it. So why the hell had he circled it? Why was it so... important?

And written underneath it, in neat handwriting that wasn’t his, were two words:

Confess.

Confess? Confess to who? What was he supposed to confess?

Nanami’s heart stuttered, the sense of confusion deepening into something more unsettling. His fingers hovered over the red circle, almost like he was afraid to touch it. The word confess kept echoing in his mind, but he couldn’t make sense of it.

Why the fuck had he written that??

Confess to who?

And more importantly, what??

His mind reeled. He stood up abruptly, moving to his window, the sunlight streaming in but doing little to ease the tightness in his chest.

What was wrong with him? Why did it feel like there was something he was forgetting? Something that should be right in front of him but wasn’t.

Something was missing.

*-*

By the time he’d gone through his apartment, looking for anything else out of place—anything else that might explain this gnawing sensation—he was more disoriented than ever. His apartment was... normal. Too normal. Too quiet.

And yet, the emptiness was suffocating.

He glanced back at the calendar, his mind racing to make sense of the tiny clues he’d uncovered. His gaze flickered back to the mug again, the stupid birthday cards, and that damn circled date. Something was trying to break through—something about all of it felt familiar, and yet, it also felt like a puzzle with half the pieces missing.

Why do I feel like I’m... forgetting something?

He slammed his fist against the desk in frustration. It wasn’t just stress. It wasn’t just exhaustion.

There was a woman.

He knew there had been.

It was as if a shadow was stretching just out of reach of his memory, a face he should recognize, a voice that should sound so familiar, but when he reached for it, it slipped through his fingers like smoke.

Who the hell are you?

The question whispered in his mind, though he could never quite bring himself to speak it out loud. He wasn’t sure who he was even asking. The woman in his mind? The empty mug? The cards? Or the damn calendar that was still taunting him with its inscrutable message?

Confess.

His eyes traced the word again, the curve of the letters taunting him like some secret he couldn’t uncover, a truth that was just beyond his grasp.

He had no answers.

Only the feeling that something was horribly, terribly wrong, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

And he hated it. Hated that the only thing that was clear was how much he missed something—or someone—he couldn’t even name.

*-*

The dreams came every night.

At first, they were fleeting—a blur of warmth and shadows, the outline of a person he couldn’t quite see, couldn’t quite name. He’d wake up with the lingering sensation of something—or someone—right there, beside him. A warmth that never quite vanished, like a hand that wasn’t his own, brushing against his skin. But as the nights wore on, the dreams grew clearer.

A face remained hidden, obscured by a blur that twisted like smoke, but the feeling, the presence, was unmistakable. He could feel her there—standing just out of sight, her energy a constant pull in the distance. She was with him in a hundred places. In his quiet apartment, where they’d sit together in silence, the only sound the ticking of a clock on the wall. In darkened streets, their hands brushing as they walked side by side, their pace in sync as if they’d done it a thousand times. And sometimes—too many times to be coincidental—she was with him in the chaos of battle, a fierce, unspoken bond in the way they fought together, backs aligned as if they'd shared this moment in a thousand lifetimes.

But there was no voice. No name.

He reached for her—desperately—his hands closing around air, but every time, she slipped away, like sand running through his fingers.

And every time, he woke up feeling more empty. More incomplete.

*-*

That afternoon, Nanami found himself standing in front of Shoko’s office door, the cool metal of the doorknob cold against his fingertips. His hand hovered there for a moment, indecision clawing at him.

What the hell was he even going to say?

He’d spent the last few days wrestling with the confusing, fragmented thoughts that had been consuming him—the dreams, the feelings of familiarity, the overwhelming sense of loss. He hadn’t told anyone about it. Not even Gojo, whose insufferable antics would only make a joke of it. This... this was different. It was deeper. More personal.

So why did he feel so damn foolish?

He knocked, twice, and waited.

Shoko didn’t even look up when she opened the door, just waved him inside. “What’s up, Nanami?”

“I need your help.” The words came out before he could think better of them. There was no room for hesitation now.

Shoko raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“I... I’ve been having dreams,” he started, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears. “But they’re not just dreams. They feel like... memories.”

Shoko leaned back in her chair, her eyes narrowing with professional interest. “Memories of what?”

“I don’t know,” Nanami admitted, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “I keep seeing this... woman. She’s there in my dreams. Sometimes, she’s... with me. Sometimes we’re on missions together. Sometimes we’re just—” He paused, searching for the right words. “—just living. Like we’ve been doing it for years. And I know her. Or at least, I think I do. But I can’t remember her face, her voice, anything. She’s just—” He gestured helplessly with his hands. “Gone. But not. She’s there, and then she’s gone.”

Shoko didn’t respond immediately, just stared at him with that clinical detachment of hers. Her gaze flickered down to her desk, then back to him, her fingers tapping idly against the wood. “This sounds like... a curse. A complicated one, at that.”

Nanami clenched his jaw, frustration rising in his chest. “I don’t think it’s a curse.”

Shoko looked at him skeptically. “Then what the hell do you think it is?”

“I don’t know,” he said, his voice tight. “But it’s real. These dreams—these moments—I feel them. I feel like I’ve lived them, even though I don’t remember. And every time I wake up, it’s like... like something’s been stolen from me. Something I can’t get back.”

Shoko’s expression softened just a fraction, but she didn’t offer him sympathy. Instead, she stared at him with a mix of curiosity and suspicion. “You’ve been through a lot, Nanami. You’re tired. Maybe your mind’s just playing tricks on you.”

But Nanami was shaking his head before she even finished speaking.

“No, Shoko. I know. It’s something more. I know it’s something more than just dreams. It’s like...” He paused, trying to put it into words that wouldn’t make him sound like he was losing his mind. “It’s like... part of me is missing. And every night, in those dreams, I feel whole again, for just a moment.” He exhaled sharply. “And I need to know why. I need to know what’s happening.”

Shoko’s silence stretched for a long moment before she finally spoke, her voice low and serious.

“Okay. I’ll help you. But this is going to get messy, Nanami. You’re asking for answers to something that... well, I’m not sure even I can figure out.”

“I don’t care,” he said, his voice barely a whisper, but his resolve hardening in his chest. “I need to know who she is. I need to know what she is.”

Shoko studied him for a moment longer, then finally nodded.

“Fine. We’ll start by looking into it. But don’t get your hopes up. Whatever this is, it’s not going to be easy.”

“Thank you.”

She gave a small, understanding nod. “Don’t thank me yet, Nanami. We’ve got a long way to go.”

But as Nanami left her office, the sinking feeling in his chest didn’t ease.

The dreams were only getting stronger, and with each passing night, the sense that something—someone��was slipping through his fingers became more unbearable.

And he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on, chasing the ghost of a woman he couldn’t even remember.

*-*

While Nanami was out there, slowly losing his mind over a woman he couldn’t even remember—ahem, the love of his life, if you wanted to be dramatic about it—you, on the other hand, had begun the process of rebuilding.

And by rebuilding, I mean you’d started a new job at a maternity clinic because, well, why not?

It’s not like you had any better ideas. There was no easy way to wipe your mind clean of the raw emptiness left behind by everything you sacrificed, but you figured that at least keeping yourself busy would keep you from spiraling too far into a pit of self-loathing. Or worse, crawling back to Nanami, hoping for some impossible miracle.

No, that was done. That was over.

You were moving forward.

If you squinted hard enough, you could almost convince yourself that this was an entirely new chapter.

Except for the fact that every night, the same dreams haunted you. The ones where Nanami was there, out of reach, just like he always had been—just like he always would be.

But back to the whole maternity clinic situation.

You’d always liked helping people. It was in you—somewhere deep down there was a part of you that got a strange sense of satisfaction from seeing people thrive, seeing them smile, seeing them take their first steps into the future. And yeah, you could technically say you liked the job. You liked it more than you expected, even if the constant parade of new mothers and babies could get overwhelming.

It was a messy, noisy job, full of too much emotion and far too many bodily fluids, but it paid the bills. And after everything you’d been through, the daily grind was starting to feel normal.

Normal.

Isn’t that just a beautiful word?

“Miss, are you okay?”

You blinked and looked down at the tiny baby you were holding. She was staring up at you with wide, curious eyes, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Great. Now the babies are judging me.

“Yeah,” you muttered, forcing a smile. “I’m fine. Just... thinking.”

Thinking about the fact that I’m alive and that’s probably the worst joke the universe has ever played on me.

The baby cooed, her tiny hands reaching out, and you couldn’t help but let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh. You were a sucker for these little ones. Maybe that’s why you didn’t mind coming into work every day, despite the broken pieces of yourself you still couldn’t quite piece together.

“Just don’t get too attached,” you whispered to the baby, a wry grin on your lips. “I’ve got a serious problem with losing things.”

The door to the nursery opened with a soft squeak, and one of the nurses came in with a new batch of newborns, as if this was some kind of rotating assembly line.

You rolled your eyes. “Great. More to babysit.”

But the nurse—Olivia, you think—flashed you a quick smile. “Someone’s got to do it. You’re the best we’ve got.”

You gave her a sharp, exaggerated nod, but internally, you felt your chest tighten. She was being nice, of course, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that the world had moved on without you.

You had no one. You had no one to go home to, no one to sit with after a long day. Just you, and the hollow ache of everything you’d lost.

The baby in your arms kept cooing, her tiny hands clenching and unclenching, her innocent gaze following your movements with unspoken trust.

Isn’t it funny?

The world had forgotten you. It had forgotten what you had done, what you had given up.

And yet, here was a tiny, helpless being, relying on you.

At least someone still cared.

You sighed, shifting the baby carefully, and then continued with your work. You didn’t have time to dwell on anything else. Not when there were bills to pay, lives to help, and—honestly—no one else to lean on but yourself.

But late at night, when the clinic was quiet, and you were alone in your small apartment, the ache in your chest came flooding back.

And that’s when you let yourself feel the weight of it all—the unbearable emptiness that gnawed at you, the broken pieces that never quite fit together.

*-*

Nanami was fucking close- no, not in that sense you heathens- close to finding who she was.

Or who she had been.

If she was still alive, that is.

The frustration gnawed at him. The hours, the endless search through obscure texts and records, trying to piece together the impossible, the fragments of a life that had slipped through his fingers. There was no name—at least, not one that made sense to him. No face, no voice, only the echo of her in the pit of his chest. Every night, he was haunted by dreams of a woman, someone he knew, but couldn't remember.

It was maddening.

The days felt longer now. Each one bled into the next, a sea of monotony that only made the absence of her sharper. His soul ached with every breath.

Nanami was fucking close—no, not in that sense, you heathens—close to finding out who she was.

Or who she had been.

If she was still alive, that is.

The frustration gnawed at him. The hours, the endless search through obscure texts and records, trying to piece together the impossible, the fragments of a life that had slipped through his fingers. There was no name—at least, not one that made sense to him. No face, no voice, only the echo of her in the pit of his chest. Every night, he was haunted by dreams of a woman, someone he knew, but couldn't remember. It was maddening.

The days felt longer now. Each one bled into the next, a sea of monotony that only made the absence of her sharper. His soul ached with every breath.

Shoko had been the one to find it.

While Nanami had been lost in his own spiral, pacing endlessly in his apartment like a man on the verge of a breakdown, Shoko had been methodical, the scientist in her determined to pull any thread that might lead them to the truth.

The text had been buried deep in the archives. Something so ancient, it felt like it belonged in a legend. The words were cryptic, written in old, faded ink, but it was the one clue they had. One tiny, fragile thread that might pull them out of the dark.

"To save one life, another must be sacrificed. In the space between life and death, memories are traded. The price is steep: to save the one you love, you will lose the memory of them forever. Their existence will be erased from your mind, as though they were never there. But their life will be spared, and you will never know the weight of their absence. You will carry their love without ever remembering them."

Nanami had stared at the text, his heart pounding in his chest. His breath had caught in his throat.

"Sacrificed."

The word hit him like a truck.

Had she been the one to save him? To save them—to save everyone—in that one moment, that single act that had erased her from his memory and allowed him to carry on, to fight, to live?

It was the only explanation that made sense. The only reason why he couldn’t remember her.

"You need to remember."

Shoko’s voice had broken through his spiraling thoughts, a sharp, firm whisper. "You need to stop pretending that you can live without her."

Nanami’s hands had clenched around the paper, his knuckles white with the force of it. He didn’t need anyone to tell him how badly he had failed her. How every step he had taken without knowing the truth had been a step away from her, from the only person who had mattered.

*-*

The ache had only deepened after that.

It was impossible to shake. The idea that she had chosen this. That she had willingly sacrificed herself—not her life, but her very existence—for him. For them.

Nanami had spent nights unable to sleep, his thoughts swirling around that ancient text.

Every night, he dreamed of her. Those moments of tenderness, of quiet exchanges, of gazes that said everything without a word. The fragments of intimacy—so real, so achingly real—only to wake up to the cold emptiness of the morning, where she no longer existed in his mind. But he felt her. She was there, in his heart, and it was killing him.

He had to find her. He had to remember.

That was how Nanami found himself sitting across from Shoko, the flickering candlelight in the corner doing little to soothe his raw nerves. His chest tightened with every passing second, his fingers tapping against the edge of the table in frustration.

“Shoko,” he said, his voice strained. “What if I can’t find her? What if she’s gone for good?”

Shoko looked at him, her expression unreadable, and for the first time, he saw a flicker of something in her eyes—pity, maybe, or understanding.

“You will find her,” Shoko replied, her voice quiet but firm. “But you have to remember. You can’t just pretend it’s not eating you alive. You need to go to her. To find her, Kento.”

Nanami clenched his jaw, feeling the words settle deep within him like a brand. Find her.

The idea was both comforting and terrifying. He wanted to find her, more than anything. But what if she didn’t want to be found? What if—

“Shoko,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “What if she hates me for not remembering? For not knowing her? For letting her slip away while I lived my life, as though she never mattered?”

Shoko’s gaze softened, and for a moment, Nanami swore he saw a flicker of her own vulnerability. But then, she reached across the table and placed her hand on his.

“She won’t hate you, Nanami. She loved you enough to sacrifice everything. If she’s alive—if you find her—you’ll remember.”

*-*

That night, Nanami stood before the mirror, his heart pounding. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this. The reflection staring back at him was a man who had everything and nothing at the same time.

He felt... hollow.

Like a part of his soul was missing, and no amount of fighting, no amount of missions, no amount of anything could fill the void.

She was gone. And yet, she wasn’t.

Every corner of his mind screamed her name, but when he reached for it, there was only silence.

The ache was unbearable, a constant, gnawing pain that refused to be ignored.

And he knew—he knew—that if he didn’t find her soon, if he didn’t get the chance to say what needed to be said, to apologize for everything he couldn’t remember, that hole in his chest would never heal.

“Please,” he whispered to no one. “I need you. Please. Come back to me.”

*-*

Across the city, in a small, humble maternity clinic, you sat by the window, staring out into the night. Your thoughts drifted—aimless, bitter—pushing away the ache that clung to your ribs, the loneliness that wrapped itself around you like a second skin.

You had tried to move on. You had. But the memory of him... his face... it never left.

And you didn’t know how long you could bear this. The feeling of loving him without him even knowing who you were.

Maybe you weren’t meant to be in his life after all.

Maybe he was better off without you.

But there was a part of you, buried deep within, that refused to believe that.

And so, every night, you waited for the moment when your fate—and his—would finally collide.

But deep down, you couldn’t shake the fear that even then, even when you stood before him, he wouldn’t remember. He wouldn’t know you.

And that was the cruelest thing of all.

*-*

Nanami wasn’t losing his mind.

Or rather, he had been, but not in the way that would’ve required a padded room and a team of specialists. His dreams—those fragmented glimpses of a life he couldn’t remember—had finally given him something tangible.

Her eyes.

Well, yeah, of course she had eyes. Most people had eyes. But hers—they weren’t just a detail anymore. They were vivid now, clear and bright and hers. He could see them in his mind as if they’d been etched into the fabric of his soul.

And with her eyes came the cascade of other memories. Little snippets, pieced together like the most maddening puzzle he’d ever tried to solve.

He remembered why his calendar had that red circle on the Saturday, the word confess written neatly in the corner.

He had been planning something for her.

Not just something—everything.

A date. A bouquet of flowers that he had agonized over choosing because he didn’t know if she liked lilies or tulips more (he’d ended up getting both, just in case). A quiet dinner at a little restaurant he’d scouted out weeks in advance. And then, when the moment was perfect, when the words didn’t threaten to strangle him, he was going to tell her.

Tell her how much she meant to him. Tell her that she had been the only light in his life in far too long. Tell her that maybe—just maybe—she could consider giving a relationship with him a shot.

The memory hit him like a freight train, and he nearly staggered under the weight of it.

Why didn’t I do it?

Because something had happened. Something catastrophic enough to tear her from his life and his mind. The memory was blurry, smeared at the edges, but he knew—he knew—it hadn’t been her choice. Not entirely.

All of it had been taken. Wiped from his mind. Gone.

And now, the universe had dangled this thread in front of him, taunting him with the knowledge of what he’d lost.

“I’ll grovel,” he whispered into the empty room, his voice breaking. “I’ll get on my knees and beg. Just... just let me find her. Let me have this chance, please.”

He didn’t care who he was pleading to—the universe, some higher power, anyone who would listen. He just needed her back.

*-*

The clinic smelled faintly of antiseptic and lavender, a bizarre combination that Nanami didn’t have the mental bandwidth to process.

The maternity clinic. A quiet place, where life began anew.

The irony of it wasn’t lost on him.

He’d been searching for weeks, going through every shred of information he could find, following every lead, until it had finally brought him here.

To her.

He didn’t know how, but he knew. His chest tightened the moment he stepped through the doors. The air felt heavier, charged, like he was standing at the edge of something monumental.

But before he could ask the receptionist anything, a heavily pregnant woman standing nearby let out a sharp gasp of discomfort, her hand pressing against her lower back.

“Ma’am, are you alright?” Nanami asked, his instincts kicking in immediately.

She nodded, her face tight with pain. “Yeah, just... give me a second. These Braxton Hicks contractions are no joke.”

“Here.” He offered his arm without hesitation, guiding her to a nearby chair. “Take a seat. I’ll get someone to help.”

As he straightened, his gaze shifted—and froze.

There she was.

Standing just a few feet away, clipboard in hand, her scrubs neatly pressed, looking every bit like she belonged in this chaotic, bustling clinic.

He almost couldn’t breathe.

She was here. She was alive.

The relief hit him like a tidal wave, but it was quickly replaced by something deeper, heavier. An ache that clawed at his chest, screaming at him to close the distance between them, to grab her, to never let her go again.

She hadn’t noticed him yet—too focused on her work, on jotting down notes. But when she finally looked up and saw him, her expression froze.

For a moment, neither of them moved.

You blinked, your lips parting slightly as if to say something, but then your gaze shifted to the woman he’d just helped, and something inside you seemed to harden.

Of course, you jumped to the worst conclusion.

He’s moved on.

Your mind supplied the bitter thought before you could stop it.

Four months.

Four measly months, and here he was, looking like he’d just stepped out of a magazine ad, escorting a pregnant woman like some kind of domestic god (and a good looking one at that)

And the worst part? He looked happy.

Your heart twisted painfully, but you shoved the emotion down. You didn’t have the right to feel this way. You'd made your choice.

“Excuse me,” you said, your voice clipped as you approached them. “Is there something I can help with?”

Nanami turned to you, and the intensity in his gaze nearly knocked the breath out of your lungs.

“You,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I’m looking for you.”

Your heart stopped.

“What?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Y/N” His voice cracked slightly as he said it, the weight of your legal name tumbling from his lips with a reverence that made your chest ache. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Your clipboard slipped from your fingers, clattering to the floor, but you didn’t even notice.

Because in that moment, as he stood there, staring at you like you were the last thing keeping him tethered to this earth, a part of you wanted to hope.

But hope was dangerous.

Wasn’t it?

A/N: gosh i love angst, but i love a happy ending. I hope this wasn't too meh, and i hope i didn't completely missunderstand your request anon, i didn't know if you wanted a happy ending or not. Yes the last part i was writing in "she" then went to "you", yes it's on purpose.

Masterlist

:)

[mpreggificator]

I cannot get enough of Hamster!sqh so have my take on it.

So in a system-less au, Shang Qinghua heard about Cang Qiong and heel turned in the opposite direction to escape the shit that went down there.

Despite there being no system, the universe is still against him so Shang Qinghua lands a job at one of the wife plot manors, working for the one of the evil brother minor villains who was only notable because he experimented on people. Shang Qinghua tried to keep a low profile as he tried escaping his shitty boss. That doesn't work out and he was changed to transform into a hamster whenever he is very emotional (read: all of the time) before being thrown out.

By chance Shang Qinghua managed to run into Mobei-jun who saw his pathetic form and immediately adopted him as his secret pet. Shang Qinghua was convinced at first Mobei-jun was going to kill him but after a while and being treated very well, Shang Qinghua was calmed down enough to transform back into a human. Mobei-jun is confused and surprised that his cute pet hamster is a cute dude, but he keeps Shang Qinghua when he immediately swears his loyalty. Also Shang Qinghua does administrator work whenever he's not super stressed out.

And that's the story of how Shang Qinghua became the Demon King's pet hamster.

Bonus:

Hamster!sqh and Xin Mo!sy are in the same universe. So while Shen Yuan transmigrated as the most powerful weapon in the story and the protagonist's golden finger, Shang Qinghua is:

[blueteller]

Introducing Character Trope: STEBS (Stoic Traumatized Epic Bastard Softie)

I have tried to look this up on TV tropes, but it does not exist. Not officially, at least. So I decided – I'm introducing new trope. It already exist, someone might as well try and give it a name.

And yeah, this acronym SUCKS, feel free to come up with a better one! But let's talk about what a "STEBS" character is for me, because I've come to the conclusion that it is actually my favorite character type.

First, context. Ever since I've read TCF, I have come across other medias and I was often like, "Hey, this character is basically just like Cale!" – which I feel like, it isn't really fair? I mean, Cale is a great and complex character, but making this comparison constantly makes me feel like I'm undermining the complexity of OTHER characters. Just because Cale shares similarities with other characters doesn't make them copies of him.

So, what exactly is a STEBS?

1) Stoic

This character has a very specific way of acting in non-confrontational situations. It can be respectful, it can be casual, but it is neither extremely friendly nor extremely rude. It's in a calm, pleasant zone, where the character treats others like... well, people. The character doesn't make themselves superior nor inferior, it doesn't matter to them if the other is a beggar or a king. They just are, calm and casual. That's what makes them stoic - NOT lack of expressions or emotions, or lack of humor. It's the way they carry themselves on the regular. This character type makes others feel relaxed because of it, and subconsciously encourages trust and friendship (much to the character's confusion). They will also make a great educator because of it, and will likely act as a mentor or a teacher more than once.

2) Traumatized

Despite the stoicism in their behavior, they actually have a complicated background. Commonly an orphan, even though not always, this person has been through a LOT. But, they don't usually express it. Seeing this character cry or break down is EXTREMELY rare and always a very important scene in a story. It's not that they're not emotional or they always try to bury their trauma, although that does usually apply to them; they're just not vocal about it due to their personality. But oh boy, are they traumatized! Wait for that reveal later in the story though, when it actually becomes plot-relevant.

3) Epic

Despite the character being a stoic type, with a backstory that makes them crave very simple things – be it retirement, respect from their peers, a safe house to live in, a stable job, a family, a specific successful career – they are actually freaking epic where it comes to things they do. They either have great knowledge, memory, or skills in a particular field and they always manage to surprise others with just how competent they are. It can be literal combat skills, magic, being a life-saving surgeon, or even a therapist. But whenever they get their chance to shine, they become a real star.

4) Bastard

A trait that adds a surprising amount of charm and humor to their other traits. Being stoic makes them likeable, being traumatized makes them sympathetic, being epic makes them cool – but being a bastard? It actually just means they're mischievous and have a penchant for chaos. Because this character is meant to make changes in the narrative, like an accidental revolutionary or a transmigrator, they have to possess a cunning streak that might seem mean or selfish at first, but actually never crosses the line into making them despicable. It just makes them an occasional manipulator, but it's usually portrayed in a way that still makes it impossible to make you hate them. In fact, it makes you love them more for it. They are not naive, even if they can be oblivious or silly at times; being a bastard to those who deserve it means being able to get out of sticky situations that would be problematic for paragon heroes. It includes stuff like acting, pranks, cheating, manipulation, shady deals, gambling, stealing, and even criminal behavior, that is actually very understandable due to their specific circumstances.

5) Softie

And if all the previous traits haven't convinced you to love this character yet, the last one surely will. This character, despite having a mean streak, is in fact never mean to innocent people. Actually, they are surprising soft and/or sentimental, especially towards the helpless and children. This character will probably have at least one animal sidekick, at least one paragon protagonist type on their payroll, and most importantly an adopted child - if the previous two don't already fill that spot. This character will make excuses of course, they will claim that they are taking care of others for their own benefits. But you will see quickly that they don't treat others like a heartless manipulator, but more of an overprotective mother-hen. This character, no matter their gender, will eventually become the typical Mom Friend. They will make sure everybody eats well, sleeps well, they get their allowance, pack their lunch before heading out to participate in the plot and probably try to sacrifice themselves for them more than once. They will of course become the mentor figure on top of it, and possibly even be a straight up legal guardian and/or teacher to other important characters.

And this, my friends, is what I call a STEBS character. While it outlines a general, it's not a strict definition, mind you. Even if a character exhibit one trait less than the others (for example not being much of a bastard, or not being very stoic), it still counts as long as you still recognize them as fitting in this "category".

Characters in this category include:

Cale Henituse from Trash of the Count's Family

Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars

Aizawa Shota from My Hero Academia

Kakashi from Naruto

Remus Lupin from Harry Potter

Faramir from Lord of the Rings

Kim Dokja from Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

Rimuru Tempest from That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

Park Moondae from Debut or Die

Won Hwabu from I Reincarnated as a Legendary Surgeon

And many, many others.

Let me know if you have a better name for this very specific character type!

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

So I have theory about Luo Binghe’s fake jade pendant.

(Major spoilers if you haven’t finished the book btw)

I was just reading a fic and author pointed out something about Luo Binghe’s pendant and how it’s a metaphor for Shen Yuan.

Looking back at the book, there are a lot of parallels between Shen Yuan and the necklace.

The pendant is a counterfeit jade carving of the god Guanyin.

Shen Yuan is a counterfeit of Shen Qingqiu, a powerful Peak Lord who dresses in jade colored robes.

Guanyin is noted to be associated with compassion, and Shen Yuan changes the entire fate of the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way by being compassionate.

Luo Bingmei ends his story with his one fake jade pendant while the extras specifically note that Luo Bingge has several real jade necklaces in his possession. Those necklaces are even called out to be fine grade and best money can buy.

Obviously the real jades are a metaphor for Bingge’s harem of peerlessly beautiful women while the fake jade, which has infinitely more value to him, represents Shen Yuan, aka Luo Bingmei’s one and only true love.

However I think there’s more to it than that.

If you track the pendant throughout the book, you’ll notice that Luo Binghe is only ever in possession of the pendant when Shen Yuan isn’t there. In fact, he actually loses the pendant shortly after Shen Yuan transmigrates into Shen Qingqiu. For the rest of the book, the pendant is in Shen Yuan’s possession, only returning to Luo Binghe at the climax.

But here’s the thing that’s strange about that scene: for whatever reason the System could not load the pendant when SQQ tried to summon it. At no other point in the book has the System have a problem loading things in.

So why is it when it does load in, it’s right as Shen Yuan dies for the third time?

My theory is that Shen Yuan is the pendant itself.

Now obviously Shen Yuan comes back and Binghe still has the pendant, but in the last couple scenes of the book, Shen Yuan is always right by Luo Binghe’s side.

Now I know that Shen Yuan was an actual person before dying and becoming Shen Qingqiu, so therefore he isn’t the necklace given human form. So how can Shen Yuan and the pendant be one and the same?

Well let’s go back to the aforementioned climax scene where the System cannot physically summon the pendant until Shen Yuan dies.

Seeing as how the System is essentially an AI and/or a computer program, this kind of issue reminds me of how a computer cannot open a file if another of the exact same file is already running.

I think, that when inserting Shen Yuan into PIDW, the System needed a way to tie his soul into its program and Shen Yuan’s fate to the protagonist. The System needed a physical entity to tie him down so it linked his code/soul to the fake jade pendant. That’s why Luo Binghe loses the pendant so soon after Shen Yuan transmigrates and why the System couldn’t load it in until Shen Yuan’s soul left his body because they’re part of the same file.

This is also evidenced by how when Shen Yuan dies the second time, out of all of his items, only the Jade pendant is kept in his inventory when he wakes up in the Sun and Dew Mushroom body.

Not to mention that Shen Yuan and the pendant have the same effect on Luo Binghe! The pendant has the ability to essientially shock Luo Binghe out of a qi deviation, but is only a one time use. But during Luo Binghe’s first qi deviation, Shen Yuan is able to do the exact same thing but doing so kills him. The pendant reduces Luo Binghe’s anger, and Shen Yuan is the only person in the world Luo Binghe will ever be soft and submittable to.

Tl’dr; The System tied Shen Yuan’s soul to the fake Guanyin pendant.

[amxrany]

!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!

Heyyyy I'm still alive and kicking, been doing a lot during the summer and I got some vacant time now so let's go (Kalim's Dream):

We're getting right into the action ya'll we are currently transmigrating into Kalim's dream and Vil is not having a good time (he's screaming his ass off). We land in front of a school and Vil is just distraught about dream hopping that Yuu, Grim and Idia are making fun of him for it 😭; but Vil wasn't letting it slide with Idia (he threatened to smash his screen/LCD).

Ok yeah going back we see a fountain with the sultan's (the sultan from Aladdin) statue in the middle. Then Grim get curious of said statue that he jumps??? into the fountain??? Then we get the KALIM APPEARANCE RAHHHH

He explains to the group that the sultan serves as the main figure of the school they're in: Qasr Sultanate Academy. Kalim also doesn't recognize any of them because he's a second year of the school, he also doesn't recognize NRC but once he heard that they were from Sage's Island; he assumes they're having a tour.

He also notices that the group is dying from the heat due to their uniforms, so he uses Oasis Maker to hydrate them. We learn that in this dream, Kalim manifested his magic at the age of 14 and created the academy to train his magic (OKAY DAMNNNN THAT'S JUST A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF RICH). That's when Kalim summons his servants to give the guys a feast because apparently you can bring servants to the school even if then if they won't be considered as "students" and Sebek's like "NRC doesn't even permit outsiders" (talk about culture shock)

That's when they start talking about stories from their homeland, Kalim brings up the story of Aladdin and the Sultan; while Silver and Sebek bring up the story of Sleeping Beauty. Grim notices that while Kalim isn't that much different, it's strange that he isn't at NRC knowing how much he loves the school. That's when Ortho makes the connection between Kalim and Vil, what could be the possible tragedy that happened for Kalim not to be at NRC in his dream (well they're about to find out) then we get a JAMIL JUMPSCARE

(why is he smiling, it kinda scares me)

So what Kalim really wanted was to be friends with Jamil despite their differing statuses (aw :( ) and thus the group plays along by introducing themselves to this Fake!Jamil. Vil's impressed with Silver and Sebek's acting skills, I mean if you have encountered a war general, a buff twink and a Savanaclaw fanboy; you'd at least pick up on some acting along the way.

But of course, Silver and Sebek do know that there is something off about the Fake Jamil because he asked Kalim to get something for him and they're just calling the Fake out 💀. That's when Fake!Jamil reveals itself as the darkness and tries to drag Kalim down with him, but Kalim is starting to remember everything.

KALIM SMACKS US WITH THE QUESTION FROM BOOK 4 IMA JUMP OFF GOODBYE

That's when Fake!Jamil uses Snake Whisper on Kalim but Kalim wasn't buying it then the Fake!Jamil starts saying stuff along the lines of how they grew up as brothers and have never been shy with each other despite their positions. That's when Vil snaps Kalim out of the dream about how he still kept trying to befriend Jamil despite having him betrayed by him in the past. That eventually wakes Kalim up

That's when the scene changes to Book 4's overblot battle, when Fake! Jamil tries to help Kalim stand; he swats the fake's hand away. That's when Kalim replies to Vil that it's because he's Jamil's master, not his best friend. But Kalim tells the Fake that he wants to befirend the real Jamil, not him.

Thus the fight begins and once it's done, Kalim cries now let me show you his groovy

(if he's sad, we are all sad too)

The whole plan is then revealed to Kalim, who is now fully awake. Kalim is now added to the party because he's the only one who can awaken Jamil because they know each other. He also mentions that it's usually done the opposite way (Jamil doing the waking up), so it's nice to see the roles swapped.

I don't think my summaries captures the full essence of Kalim's dream so I really recommend that you watch english translations if they're out. But yeah will be translating Jamil's dream in a bit, took me awhile cuz I had a lot of things to do but yeah see ya'll soon~

Next: Jamil's Dream

[youraverageaemondsimp]

Metanoia ;

Aemond Targaryen x Transmigrated!Strong!Reader

>> Chapter VI : The End of the Beginning.

Summary: Things begin to quickly escalate.

WARNINGS: canon typical incest, angst, grief, mentions of child loss, aegon is a dick.

A/N: divider creds to @cafekitsune

<- prev // masterlist // next ->

Everything was moving way too quick for your liking. You thought your marriage pact to Aemond would prevent the war, yet it seems like it's inevitable. You felt nothing but despair watching Aegon walk through the crowd of people, for his coronation.

You knew what was next, Rhaenys would burst through the doors and leave right after threatening them, so you wait anxiously, standing next to Aemond.

But nothing happens.

Rhaenys didn't appear and the coronation went smoothly.

What was happening?

You were escorted back to the castle with guards around you till you reached your room, knowing that the blacks would try to come get you any moment. The greens were on guard.

A few days passed since then, Rhaenys’ absence shocked you the most. You had written a letter to your mother, informing your mother of the happenings.

You paced around your chamber restlessly, anxious about how the story is developing, it seems that your interference made everything worse.

Perhaps it was always meant to be this way, for everyone to be doomed. You thought of Luke, Aemond, Helaena, and all the lives that were taken away because of this war.

You never really acknowledged how real everything was until you felt the taste of potential calamity. Your head snaps to the side when the doors burst open, the guards rushing in and grabbing you.

“W—What are you doing?!” You yell, trying to fight the guards but they say nothing, dragging you out of your chambers by force and out into the hallway.

You are brought down to where the dungeons are, below the castle before being thrown into one as the guards lock the door. You look at Ser Cole who was one of the people that guard you down here. He looked at you with a mockery of pity.

“It was the King's orders.” He speaks, noticing the need for closure in your eyes. Your eyes widened at the truth, lips trembling as you felt useless. Unable to change anything, if in fact everything is more shit.

“What about Aemond? I need to speak to him right now!” You cry out, and Ser Cole shakes his head, “He had called off the betrothal with you.” Those words felt a stab to your heart.

He called it off? No it definitely couldn't be.

Aemond wouldn't do that without consulting you first.

But deep down, you feared that it would be the truth, cause the body you're in believes that to be the case. He was a man stuck to his duty after all.

“Your betrothal to Y/N should be annulled immediately.” Aegon's voice booms through the small council as he sits there on the chair, somehow making coherent decisions. Aemond had just walked in then, immediately being met with a command.

“Why?” Aemond asks in disbelief, his eyebrows furrowed. “I can not, she is— I do not wish to.” Aemond affirms his decision standing tall against at the end of the table, seeming as though he was the king, making decisions.

Aegon scoffed, “You dare defy the king? But I will excuse you, for you are my brother. I'm aware that cunt must've felt good. But it isn't beneficial for the war.” Aegon spews comically, expecting everyone to laugh with him but no one does. Alicent shifts uncomfortably in her seat as she watches the interaction between her sons.

Aemond grits his teeth, his anger oozing off him, suffocating everyone in the room. He clenches his fists, nails digging into his palm as he tries to not move impulsively.

“Aegon, is right.” Alicent interferes, not making eye contact with Aemond. “Marrying her will not do any good. We must use this to gain allies. Besides, who knows what Rhaenyra might do. Now that her child is with us.” She simply states, avoiding the gaze of Aemond.

His eyes darted around the room, everybody was silent.

His mind ran wild, as he stood there still, thinking of the possibilities, thinking about everything.

He swallowed a tight lump in his throat, and the next words that left his mouth, betrayed both himself and you.

“I understand.”

————————————————————————

Rhaenyra's sobs fill the room as she clutches her head, her council looking upon her. “I can't lose another child. I'm afraid I cannot bear it.” She quivers, her body still traumatized from losing her unborn child.

She refers to you. “My baby, I can not. lose. her. again.” her mind fills with the memories of you being asleep for many years, the nights she's spent by your side hoping you'd wake up.

“I am not a good mother, am I? Daemon. I left my child in the viper's nest, even though you were against it.” Rhaenyra stared at Daemon, her mind in shambles. He gazed in silence at her. She was going mad. She couldn't keep calm.

“Those traitors! How could they? Has there been any other letter from her?” She asks as soon as a guard walks in, the one who she planted as a spy.

“The princess has been thrown into the dungeons,” those words were enough to send Rhaenyra spiralling out of control, as she yelled at everyone to take immediate action. She will burn down the city if she needs to.

“And it seems that they have called off the betrothal.” He finishes and Daemon scoffs. “Those cunts.” Daemon mutters underneath his breath.

“We must wait.” Jacaerys speaks up, unable to see his mother spiral like this. “Mother, I am aware that you are worried about our sister, but we need to deal with this sensitively.” He tries to be the voice of reason for her. Luke joins in, holding his mother by her hand and she stares at the both of them before calming down.

Rhaenyra's eyes darken as the last of her tears fell down her cheek. Her mind reeling up a plan, before she toughens up and focuses on the matter before her.

————————————————————————

Aemond left the keep on his horse, going to the forest where Vhagar was sleeping soundly. He goes near her, grazing her sides and she wakes up, feeling her rider near her.

He climbs on top of her, knowing the direction he was meant to go. And so he does, flying off in the direction.

The duty felt heavy on his shoulders, but the betrayal even worse, you must be so confused on what is going on. After the betrothal with the baratheon, he will fly back to you and explain everything.

Yes, it is what he will do.

You probably felt lonely, all alone in your chamber, he should've probably told more guards to protect you before he left but he shakes his head, hoping that you'd be alright.

Ironic how far he was from the truth. He had no idea that you were currently suffering in the dungeons.

The gut feeling was malicious, warning him that he is doing something wrong, but he tried shaking it off. It wouldn't budge. It got so worse to the point he felt nauseous.

He thinks for a minute.

His eye hardens as he takes deep breaths, the weight of betrayal suddenly lifting off, and the pressure of duty fade into nothingness as he commands Vhagar to fly the other direction, spinning her around.

To dragonstone it is.

@gabriella-aesthetic @delaynew @idonotknowenglish @dixie-elocin @intheheartoftheking @dracaryxzs @ladyoffandoms @zoleea-exultant @saturnssrings @uniquecutie-puffs @aleemendoza2425-blog @marvelita85 @feelingfaye @sylvievil @cypherpt5fttaehyung @ttysmfwna @void21 @technicallystrangereview @feyresqueen @evergreen9083 @mirandasidefics @org12 @blorbo-brainrot @thisishwrworld @shadowqueen09 @watermel0nsugarhigh @cottoncandyclouds-stuff @madislayyy @the-hufflebird-girl @hiatuswhore @whompwhompsthings @debesteimanetje

[dangermousie]

Top Dozen cdramas - 2024

This can obviously change but nothing truly exciting looks to air for the rest of the year so that's unlikely. My Top Dozen for the year are likely be set in stone.

It's a very idiosyncratic list which has two mini dramas, three moderns (!!! for me that's insane) and a lot of vibes dramas.

12 Hard to Find - all vibes all the times. A tragic romance that feels like a Gothic fairytale, this is what minidramas could be.

11 Love In the Desert - out of all the dramas on this list, this is the one that screams most "a good time." It's a romance and visual feast and webnovel madness and sexy good time and it made me cry.

10 Fortune Writer - a mini that is so smart and meta and fun about narratives and fate and villainy and fighting the story itself. So clever.

9 Derailment - a puzzle and a love story, telling most anything about it would be a spoiler but this story about a rich girl from 2025 who seemingly wakes up in a parallel universe in 2023 in body of a poor doppelganger, and the young man who was in love with the original has everything including addressing what it must feel to people to have a transmigrator possess a loved one.

8 Tender Light - the ending was just - it's the reason it's not n1. But the rest of this drama about an abused wife and an idealistic young man refusing to bow to societal pressure was just exquisite. It addresses morality and loneliness and complicity and sacrifice. Just incredible. Poetry in motion.

7 Will Love In Spring - a modern romance cdrama? In my list? Is the world ending? But seriously, this is such a gorgeous, realistic yet intense exploration of love and loss and trauma. It made me utterly reevaluate Li Xian to boot.

6 Snowfall - this is such a fever dream of a mood piece of a vampire romance, with seriously BDSM and gay vibes, as well as utterly incredible canon age gap ride or die OTP with Ouyang Nana bothering to act for the first time in her life and Vengo Gao embodying a gentleman vampire to perfection. Li Muge remains one of my favorite directors for a reason.

5 Heroes - the story of three very different men all consigned to the dustheap of history by changing times (the best swordsman in the era of guns, a former imperial guard of a regime about to be overthrown, a constable obedient to obsolete code who studied for imperial exams which got abolished) as the Qing dynasty is about to fall, this has fights, humor, three (!) separate love stories, philosophy and utter and complete heartbreak. The performances, the ideas, the filming and the writing all combine to make a bleak masterpiece with a 99% death rate (I am not kidding, only tertiaries make it out.) If I were in charge, it would get all the awards.

4 The Legend of Shen Li - the one truly mainstream idol costume hit on the list. It's an adult, passionate xianxia that reunites Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin as deities and battle powerhouses in a love story that is so full of yearning and passion and intensity I feel like peeking through my fingers. This is everything xianxia romance tries to be and almost never is. This just might be my favorite xianxia of all time, tbh.

3 Eternal Brotherhood - a dark horse whose existence I didn't even know about before it aired. Visually stunning despite its tiny budget, this narrative about three sworn brothers in a kingdom and world in crisis, is pitch perfect in its humor, its intensity, its tragedy and its themes (also THREE!!!! amazing love stories despite not being a romance-centric show.) The battles, the friendships, the traumas, the darkness at the heart of it all!

2 Fangs of Fortune - the sole drama that can rival JoL2 for me (only caveat is it's still airing), this is visually the most jaw dropping drama I've ever seen, but it's also high fantasy the way it should be - making me feel so immersed that stopping feels like coming up from a deep dive or waking up from a hypervivid dream. It has impeccable performances (many from actors who I don't normally even like), and its plot and relationships and themes - fate and sacrifice and choice and found family bonds and trauma and so many other things - make it feel as if it was made just for me.

1 Joy of Life 2 - THE drama of 2024 for me. It's somehow better than the incredible first installment. It's funny, it's heartbreaking, it has insane performances, a narrative that hits all my personally favorite themes (a person trying to remain human in an inhuman world, righteousness not being weak), a large cast of fascinating characters who feel like they live in front of me (there are no throwaway roles in this), my favorite ship of the year (though it's not even a ship-centric show) and above all, Zhang Ruoyun's live wire of a performance as Fan Xian, arguably my favorite cdrama character of all time. It should not work yet it does. Brilliantly.

[kingdomaddiction]

I can’t stop thinking about my Fragmented SQH AU so here I go:

—

Obviously Shang Qinghua is not fine. He tries to be, really. The story is over, his son is finally happy with the love of his life and the world didn’t end. Even his ex-husband (they never got a divorce, Qinghua technically died, does it count as one?) is now free! And his cute and socially awkward King is trying his best to treat him like a friend instead of a servant.

Still, Qinghua yearns.

Sometimes, when no one is looking, he touches his flat stomach and remembers his pregnancy when he lived as Su Xiyan. A strange, lovely feeling to carry someone inside you. Unforgettable. He misses those days, but not so much. Too stressful, always running and hiding in order to protect her little one.

Other days he gets lost in the memories of his life as a washerwoman. Sad, grey days were those. Binghe was her little sunshine, the only reason she kept waking up everyday until her frail body could no more.

He remembers Binghe’s first words, his first steps. He even remembers the things he used to whisper to calm him down after a bad nightmare, kissing his tears away. Back then she used to dream for a better live, hoping to live long enough to see her baby boy grow up and marry someone kind.

He got to see Binghe grow up, yes, but only from afar. Qinghua had to restrain himself many times from killing Shen Qingqiu pre transmigration. Seeing his son cry with no way to comfort him was torture. Or so he thought. Because living right now so close to him and only being victim of his hatred is way worse.

“The traitor.”

“That rat.”

“Pathetic—“

It was too much.

He did deserve it. Qinghua did nothing to stop the stop fate (why was Shen Yuan allowed to change the rules when he was forced to hurt his son?) but it still hurt so much.

So it was no surprise when a few tears rolled down his face after a specially mean comment. A few demons from the court snickered, but Binghe just looks at him with a mixed of confusion and surprise, recognizing the tears as real and not the fake kind Qinghua usually shed around Mobei. He doesn’t feel guilt, because if it isn’t Shizun he does not care, but is still odd to witness.

Shang Qinghua just bows and leaves. He cries the whole way to his rooms. It’s depressing, he knows, but he must endure this. This is his penance, right? Now he must face it.

He tries not to stare at Binghe too much after that or even speak in his presence, but it only draws his attention. Binghe seems to attack him more often as if trying to test something, curious to see his reaction. Why? Qinghua doesn’t know, but it can’t be good. His love for his son does not blind him of his cruelty.

‘Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry—‘

Why did his little sunshine had to become such a fearful and cruel emperor? Why couldn’t he remain small, and cute and kind? Why in the world did he write that cursed story?

He sighs giving Binghe a quick glance. The young demon looks tense. Qinghua is sure his bad mood is mostly for Shen Qingqiu’s absence, who left a few days ago for serious sect business (yeah, right— you just wanted a break from your clingy husband bro) and hasn’t returned yet. On top of that the last few meetings at court has been terribly stressful. So many demons playing mind games can be exhausting.

Qinghua even after feeling hurt by Binghe feels the need to comfort him. To tell him his doing great and will find a solution. What can he say? The love of a mother (should he say father? He is currently in man’s body, but he took care of Binghe as a woman—) never fades.

It’s a silly idea, but Qinghua sneaks into the kitchen to prepare a little snack. Steamed millet buns. Very cheap and easy to make. He only needed millet flour (which was even cheaper than rice and widely cultivated in poor areas) and water. If they happen to be lucky enough to have more ingredients available then Qinghua added salt or a bit of onions. It used to be Binghe’s favorite— well, he said “everything mama makes is Bing-Bing favorite!”

Ah, he used to be so cute.

He finishes making the buns and brings him back to the court room. The other demon lords are gone and Binghe looks like he has a migraine. Qinghua approaches carefully trying to be brave.

“Junshang…” he calls softly. Before he can say something more Binghe opens his like he’s searching for something and sniffs the air. Then he finally looks at him, well, the tray in his hands.

“What is that?”

“Ah… steamed millet buns, my lord. I— I made them… for you?” Binghe just keeps staring at him as if he had grown another head. Qinghua clears his throat. “This servant thought Junshang should eat something after a long day.”

Binghe looks at the tray, then at him, then the tray again and he seems like his about to reject the offer. Qinghua holds his breath, already preparing for the burning sensation of rejection. Instead Binghe surprises him by saying:

“Bring it here.”

The peak lord nods and feels so excited he almost trips in his way to the throne. He offers the buns and Binghe stares at them with mild disgust (maybe because his treacherous shishu made them) and after long consideration he finally takes one.

He gives it a sniff before taking a big bite.

Binghe’s eyes open wide and for a brief moment they seem to shine. He keeps eating one after the other and Qinghua feels his heart fill with warmth at the sight remembering when Binghe was 3 years old and tried the buns for the first time.

“I’m glad Junshang enjoyed the buns.” Said the cultivator with a small but honest smile.

Binghe seems to finally realize what he had done and cleans the crumbs with his sleeve.

“Shang… shishu,” Wow, really having a hard time respecting your elders, huh, mister? “… made this on his own?”

“This one did!” He says proudly. “If Junshang desires this servant can always prepare more“ Qinghua offers because he knows his son enough to know he won’t ask for them again even if he loved them.

“… Do as you wish.” Oh, someone has been spending some time with his King. Doesn’t matter.

This is a good sign, right? First positive interaction with his son since forever— oh! Maybe he can prepare him some congee and mantuo next time? Yes! He can’t wait!

…

// Binghe’s angrily eating buns the next day in his room, crying: I miss my mom (˃̣̣̥ヘ˂̣̣̥) stupid rat—

[disgracefulthings]

Bingqiu Modern Day Gang AU where...

...Shen Yuan is transmigrated into a world where he is part of a Chinese gang, and as one of its most ruthless members, Shen Qingqiu. However, Shen Yuan does a bad job of playing the role he's in because he's too nice. When he goes to collect 'protection' money from businesses, he makes sure to ask if they are being protected well and if they are in need of anything. When he is sent to collect some loans, he extends due dates and helps the person with budgeting. When he needs to take care of a rival gang in their turf, he asks them to politely leave and most of the rival gang falls in love and agrees right away (the few who do not fall for his charm end up being dragged or knocked out by their own gang).

Eventually he meets the leader of the most dangerous gang, Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe was once part of Shen Yuan's current gang, but he was left to die after a shootout with another gang by Shen Qingqiu, his mentor. Shen Yuan is unaware of their shared past, and Luo Binghe has been confused by the rumors of a sweet Shen Qingqiu. Luo Binghe confronts his old mentor hoping to get some answers about his change (and probably also get some revenge while he's at it), when he is greeted by Shen Yuan handing a street kid some money to help his ailing mother, and when he turns towards Luo Binghe he gives him the sweetest smile. All plans of revenge fly out the window and Luo Binghe now wants to change careers from gang member to Shen Qingqiu's wife.

Soon enough Shen Yuan's gang ends up turning into a legitimate business because they noticed that Shen Yuan gets sad when they hurt people, and they can't have that! They're wary of Luo Binghe following him everywhere, but they allow it because he keeps Shen Yuan safe (until he makes his intentions clear to romance him, then it's war where everyone at once tries to become Shen Yuan's wife).

Shen Yuan grows attached to the community as the story goes on, and by the end he is happy that he is able to keep the people he cares about safe and happy

(and maybe a minor Moshang subplot where Shang Qinghua handles the financials of Shen Yuan's gang, while spying on it and reporting to Mobei-Jun, Luo Binghe's second in command. Mobei-Jun falls in love and decides to protect the weakest gang member he has ever met, while Shang Qinghua is intimidated by but also horny for Mobei-Jun)

[alexanderwales]

My web serial, Worth the Candle, has been adapted into a webcomic. This was thanks to my agent, who I have a great fondness for, since without him I would have to spend time trying to make connections and call people and do a bunch of work that I don't know how to do and am not good at.

I was offered the chance to write the webcomic, but declined, mostly because writing Worth the Candle had taken four years and was pretty draining, and was a story that I feel like I'm done with, minus some editorial stuff, answering fan questions, and the odd bit of promotion. So my level of involvement is that I get the pages as they come in, make some comments on them, and generally just give feedback which they are free to ignore.

So let's talk about some of the adaptational changes! You can read the first three issues on Webtoon here, or the first eight issues if you're willing to pay, and the books start here, but I'll assume that you haven't read either, and there won't be substantial spoilers because I'm talking about stuff from the very beginning. Actually, I guess there will be some spoilers, but later on, and I'll mark them, mostly having to do with some foreshadowing that the webcomic does which I didn't do.

(I licensed the rights to make the webcomic to WebToon and took my money upfront, they didn't ask me to write this post, I have not actually asked the artist/writer why they made these changes, it's just me guessing and commenting, for fun. Edit: My agent has informed me that I'm mistaken, I do get a cut. So apologies for the misinformation, and hooray for me, I guess I signed the contract ages ago and just forgot the details.)

Character Design

Here's how Juniper Smith is described in the books, ch 2:

I won’t belabor my physical description. My friend Greg had once said that I looked like someone had chosen ‘default’ for every option in the character creator, which I’d tried to laugh at but cut kind of deep. I wasn’t handsome, I wasn’t ugly, none of my features were very prominent, my eyes were blue, my hair was brown, average build, average height … After Greg had made his comment at one of our D&D games, my nickname had been ‘default’ for a while, at least until I stopped pretending to find it funny, and even after that my friends would use similar lines to trash talk me, saying that I was “the most generic man alive”, “a white bread with skim milk motherfucker”, or “the human equivalent of vanilla ice cream”. Not that I was any less of an asshole to them.

This is how he looks in the comic:

I would more or less give this full marks.

In terms of other aspects of character design, Juniper is here given a black shirt with a red symbol on it rather than the stock white t-shirt he's wearing in the opening chapters of the first book, probably in the interests of adding in some visual variety. On the page, it's perfectly fine that every person in the first 50k words is wearing basically the same stock outfit. In a visual medium, I do think that you need that pop. I do think it's interesting that Juniper is wearing the same clothes in the classroom as he is on the plane, implying that when he transmigrated his clothes ... came with him? I don't know.

The other major character of the first section is Amaryllis, who is a major character in the entire work. Here's her description in the book:

Standing by a workbench, among various car parts, tools, and cans of unidentified fluids, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

I’m not really sure what protocol is here, in terms of prose. I mean, I don’t want to sound like a creep, so maybe I should stay as generic as possible and tell you about her dark red hair pulled back in a braid, the glacial blue of her eyes, how starkly alert she looked as she peered over the parts in front of her, or her grease-smeared clothes. Save for her eyes, I wasn’t really focused on any of that. My mind was consumed by tracing her curves, the shape of her chest in her blood-stained t-shirt, the fullness of her lips and the delicate way she had them parted -- and yeah, it was pretty fucked up that the splatter of blood on her shirt wasn’t worth rating much of a mention. I was consumed with staring at her and thinking how gorgeous she was, until I noticed that she was having a powerful effect on me, at which point different parts of my mind were given over to marveling at the sensation of being so attracted to a girl, and others were still focused on her.

Imagine that someone spent a few years studying your likes and dislikes, running through video of your every private moment, somehow surreptitiously hooking up EKGs to measure your physiological responses without you knowing. Then imagine that they sat down with that data and the best photo manipulation artists in the world and made the absolute perfect picture to cause your heart rate to spike, a jolt to run up your spine, butterflies in your stomach, and a cold sweat on your palms. Then imagine that they did this again, over and over in slight variations, until they had a full 4K 60fps 3D movie to show you. That was what it was like watching her.

And here she is (as she's introduced) in the comic:

Aside from the change in clothes, which in the book are the same white t-shirt and blue jeans that everyone else is wearing, Amaryllis has a scar on her face, of unknown provenance. This was probably added for visual variety, but I do find scars to be very fetching, and in one of the early versions of Worth the Candle she did have one (patterned off a woman with an extremely attractive facial scar I had met, the kind of facial scar that looked like it was applied by a Hollywood makeup artist specifically to give a touch of the exotic and mysterious, except she was a just a Midwestern mom).

And of course Amaryllis was always going to be an adaptational challenge, because the books are told through Juniper's eyes, and she's The Most Beautiful Girl in the World to him, and conventionally attractive to everyone else. Juniper tries to be normal about this. But if you're in the visual medium, you have to show both how Juniper feels and how she actually looks, and attractiveness is just so incredibly personal. My wife and I get in these kinds of discussions a lot, where she'll think someone is good-looking and I'll say "him?" or vice versa.

I think the above panel in particular is a good middle ground, a glamour shot that snaps back to the reality of their first meeting:

(The void gun she's holding there is much different from the one described in the book, not something cobbled together from spare parts and void equipment, but this is another very minor change that I would assume is meant for communicating immediately that this is a lethal weapon, and there's probably not a place for explaining how and from what it was cobbled together, which is also under-explained in the book for reasons of pacing.)

Story

I've read the first nine episodes, and overall, it's hewing very closely. There are a few bits in particular that stand out to me in how they're handled.

Spoilers for later in the series follow, I guess.

These are the opening lines of the webcomic. This is much stronger foreshadowing than I used, and I like it. Part of Juniper's backstory is that he's been deeply depressed and self-destructive, and he's slow to open up about this with other characters or the reader. The "it" that he couldn't go through with is, then, suicide. In the books? This comes very very late. Juniper being depressed after Arthur's death is brought up after the first major arc, halfway through what's now Book 1, and gets more explicit as the books go on, eventually getting to Juniper talking about his attempted suicide with people and grappling with it like ... almost halfway through?

I don't know what the plans for the webcomic are, but my guess is that they're setting up for much, much later on in a way that I didn't. This was always a background element, something that informed Juniper's character, not so much the suicide attempt as the feeling that came after, this understanding that yes, he did want to live, a heady, energizing kind of "I guess I don't have the way out that I thought I did" sort of thing.

So I take it as a good sign that this is the opening line. It points toward them understanding where they're going.

One of the other major adaptational changes is that they signpost Arthur's death with a memorial on his desk:

When I was getting pages, this was one of the first moments where I was like "yes, this is a good change, visual storytelling to replace my walls of text, flows and offers indirect information". I am very happy with the adaptation thus far, and stuff like this is what I love about adaptation in general, the need to grapple with the strengths and weaknesses of the medium.

Content Rating

Worth the Candle gets grim and dark in places. It at least attempts to grapple with serious things. The webcomic is rated Young Adult, and I'm not sure how they're going to handle the later stuff, but I can talk about how they're handling the stuff now, and what I think it means overall.

First, there's a lot less swearing. Worth the Candle in its entirety uses the word "fuck" ~1200 times. Granted, this is over the course of 1.6 million words, so a fuck density of one every 1.3k words, and some of those are in the verb "soulfuck" rather used descriptively, as exclamations, etc. My personal feeling is that this doesn't matter basically at all. I don't think I notice when someone isn't swearing unless they're using corny substitutions or trying to get cute with it.

Second, the violence is toned down in that YA way, where they're still showing much of the same things, just not with the same level of visceral detail. When a Marvel comic has someone thrown into a wall, they're no blood or snapping of bones or mangling of bodies, at least if it's a comic at a certain rating (I have definitely read some edgy 90s comics that do go hard on the violence). I think, overall, that this isn't my preference, which might be obvious from the way that I try to write fight scenes and such. But I'm also sort of inured to this toning down of violence, since it's omnipresent.

Third, there's the sex stuff, and ... well, it hasn't come up in the webcomic yet. I think I laid out my reasoning for why I think sex scenes should be written/included in Why to Write a Sex Scene, but the brief version is that sometimes you're showing how characters relate to each other, what they think of each other, and the sex scene shouldn't always just be something that's skipped over and left to the reader's imagination, because things happen, there are moments of communication, it can and does develop a relationship in the moment rather than after the fact. Plus a little titillation is, in my opinion, usually good.

The great thing about writing webfic is that no one can stop you from just including three solid chapters of hardcore pornography in the middle of your story. I have never done that, but I could is the point, and I would only get complaints from people who have no power over me. That same freedom doesn't exist here, and ... yeah, it makes my heart sink a little bit.

Fourth, there's some of the more mature content stuff, the topics that might not be broached. I don't know how they're handling that, so I reserve judgment, but I think my opinion is probably going to be "well, you do what you have to do", and if my version of the story is superior because there are no brakes, then I can be smugly superior about that.

Conclusion

This is already a fairly long post, and there are a few other things that I could have remarked on, but I think this is all the most interesting stuff.

Alright, just one real quick: Arthur is adaptationally more attractive, though this is also how Juniper sees Arthur and I think by the standards of webcomics, this is actually sort of necessary. Most of the flashback cast is not described until much later on, and by then you kind of know and understand them from the things they've said, if you can keep track of them. Many of the flashbacks are nearly disembodied. But if you're showing Arthur early, then the first impression he's going to make is in his appearance, and that really anchors people.

So overall, I am happy with the adaptation. There are challenges ahead, and I'm thankful that I'm not the one who needs to tackle those challenges.

[distant-velleity]

TRANSMIGRATOR’S GUIDE TO: Yuhua Wei

A “good student,” a “good friend,” a nobody. From that, to the voluntold assistant of Divus Crewel, stuck in the world of Twisted Wonderland where magic and arrogance run rampant.

This is the story of Yuhua Wei, another “Yuu” among many.

You’ve probably never heard of him, or maybe you have. Either way, this new and improved guide will give you a way to start getting to know him!

Below is more information about our self-saving scum protagonist~

PERSONALITY

Yuhua’s outward persona can change depending on who he is with: you could call him a people-pleaser. Around staff and certain upperclassmen, he is respectful and earnest. Around close friends, he is a bit more outspoken and brash, but also playful and encouraging. Around strangers, he is meek but affable when spoken to. So on and so forth. However, the degree to which he speaks his mind is varied—you could compare him to a nesting doll. Always removing or adding a layer that hides his true self, whatever that may be.

He also possesses a manipulative side, which is part of why he tries to appeal to people: so that if he needs to, he can use favorable opinions of him to make his life more convenient. Emphasizing his helplessness or weakness when he cannot do something himself; complaining so someone will take notice of a problem…

Of course, Yuhua would rather not stand out—it would be too much for his insecure, introverted self and too inconvenient. The practical part of him believes that being a polite, respectful side character is the role the universe has decided for him. However, he isn’t above what some would consider slightly immoral. After all, he always adapts to his audience, and in the villains’ world, one must do as the villains do.

ABILITIES

System: The strange aid that Yuhua was given upon transmigrating. It appears in the form of holographic floating screens that only he can see, and makes the world of Twisted Wonderland seem like a mix between a game and reality. The main story books and events are considered to be “missions” for him.

It allows him to check his status, relationships with others, their opinions of him, and possess a hammerspace inventory with more items than he could physically carry.

It also has a strange function regarding memories…

Potions: The System, plus tutelage under has allowed Yuhua to unlock the recipes to and make a vast array of potions, such as healing ones. He mainly uses these during battles.

TRIVIA

Much like how the teachers have their own uniforms, Yuhua also has his own magic-enforced “dorm uniform.” It seems to take inspiration from a Far East fairytale, where a young maiden was aided by her late mother in the form of a beautiful, golden carp. Yuhua wears a locket that is enchanted to switch him into his dorm uniform when he opens it.

He typically wears what looks like the standard school uniform, because 1) it goes under his labcoat in the classroom due to safety procedures, and 2) it makes him stand out less.

Floyd calls him “Koi.” Other students will frequently refer to him as “the TA” or “Crewel’s TA.” His more commonly-used nickname is “Yu.”

Inspirations: Cinderella, Ye Xian, Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System, etc.

———

taglist (ask to be added or removed): @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @casp1an-sea @nahelenia

@boopshoops @skriblee-ksk @scint1llat3 @nemisisnemi @nyx-of-night

[shysublimecoffee]

Look this is just an opinion not a fact don't get into such a tussle over a stanger opinion on a book of all things which are meant for entertainment. How I view this doesn't effect you nor do you take it as fact in fact youre free to disagree don't care.

It fucking says a lot about Shen Jiu as a character and the fandom as a whole in fanfics when the majority of them make him in fanfics having a better turn around in his life is always when a respected man is attached to hip usually( Liu Qingge) or acts as a voucher for people to even see him past his shell or his lies about the true reason he goes to the brothel goes out the window because otherwise he's a liar, a no-good and lecher and scum villain and because he's so emotional and volatile people do not respect him as a peakleader at all. He doesn't have a voice like it's telling me he's so female-coded cause ladies knows how dangerous people giving character assassination at your person could do tons of damage to your future prospects in future life and honestly I really like even though the ficwriters don't outright say it cause it subtle how majority every man and person in his life have taken away his autonomy and I find the most egregious example SY not actually giving a fuck about the person of the body he's inhabited and him not emoting at all when he saw the OG being abused and still validating LBG like if even the modern man from another era doesn't give a shit either someone who has to have sensible morals in society and even he doesn't care . This dynamic reflects a lot how society often undermines individuals who don't fit its norms, stripping them of their autonomy and dignity. SJ's struggle for respect and recognition in the story mirrors real-world issues of power and validation.

Everyone prefers SY. I'm not going to act as if I'm better though in real-life same I'd like him more too but his martial siblings barley tried. If they dislike him whatevs, but you guys are not at all suspicious about the 180 change in behavior how the kid he used to hurt and abuse is now being loved and pampered wtf??? Don't you guys owe him that much to investigate.

They could have tried to dig deeper aside from the one time they test him for possession but they didn't because they prefer the new and improved him". It actually so telling how the author chose someone of such a rich and idle pampered background to be transmigrated to the villain who's origin the very opposite of that and yet seemingly integrated himself better and incorporate better relationship with them then SJ.

The cultivation world, as well as the characters within it, reflect deep-seated classist attitudes. SJ's rough background and survival tactics make him an outsider, whereas SY, coming from a more privileged background, can navigate and be accepted more easily.

What does that actually say exactly that someone of a better background get along with the peaklords but not SJ because with our SJ he's a fighter and biter, he plays dirty to win in their eyes, he a lecher every inconceivable things is literally placed onto him just based on their perception of him. Is it that unconsciously they could tell SJ is not of of them or am I looking to deep haha??? The cultivation world is very classist is not news to anyone and that being the exploration in MXTX next book and how WWX background being how he literally met his end because of it says an actually lot how she took the things from this story and incorporate it into her next book.

The entire story had me retrospectively think hard how SJ voice is silent and yet to me at least he stills haunts the narrative because of it then when you get to the reveal about his backstory it makes you fucking think of him as an actual person and not just an object as a vehicle for the main character to just insert himself in because no matter the nature of a person it stills their body.

Like i've seen some fans even reflect this saying it not his fault that he transmigrated or he deserved it's technically his body and that he's a better person than SJ. At first, I agreed but then I took some time to process this. I don't care about SJ actions and his nature if it at the expense of his fucking body. SY can live for many many years but he's not SQQ unless he reincarnated like Airplane like it makes me want to me want to debates about transmigration. SY is his own person an adult with memories he has his own thoughts and feelings so when he transmigrated he took over the manual controls but that doesn't mean he's actually SQQ because he's not he's a pampered millennial.

In Otome Isekai (OI) stories, the original souls often face bad endings, while the transmigrators, who are modern characters inhabiting and thriving in these disliked bodies, desperately try to avoid such fates. They manage to charm the original male leads and are so focused on changing the story's trajectory that they can't accept its original path. This comparison to OI highlights how these characters' actions mirror Shen Yuan's (SY) predicament. The original person's identity and struggles are dismissed for the sake of the new character's journey, leading to the erasure of the original identity.

I don't vibe much with Shen Yuan because he seems very indifferent. The world revolves around him and his bias, much like many other transmigration novels where the MCs are similar. I find it hard to connect with a MC whose actions, even bold, lack a genuine foundation with other characters because they continue to see them not as people but character roles they're supposed to fulfill. He does everything to save himself, not from the sincere intention. His reaction to the death of GXY was cold af.

I don't like transmigration stories for this reason. They're often treated more as reader-inserts for fix-it fanfiction. We rarely learn about the characters' past lives, so we end up thinking of them as the person they transmigrated into, rather than who they were before. All we know of before was he was cyber-bullying and harassing the author and a troll so an asshole, basically.

If you guys don't know about OtomeIsekai basically we have bunch of modern day Koreans jumping into european white women bodies and inhabiting their bodies and living vicariously through them basically wish-fufillment bullshit trash . 9/10 nobody notices because this is a person who is widely disliked and despised and because no-one cared for the OG soul it easier to just go under the radar hell even the MC don't give a shit to so we have another MC that become so beloved in the eyes of the ML and how she bewitched everyone into loving her.

Transmigration is literal horror. " His Present" a short story I read from novel-updates where it literally based on this very concept where his loved ones preferred the imposter ugh made me bawl.

It makes me think about transmigration. Does it truly matter if the person who took over lived much longer than the original soul does that make them "THEM" ? I actually do appreciate SJ backstory being added but like now with transmigration just popping off on internet novels where the concept is everywhere where the original soul is discarded and the new one is celebrated, kinda adds a layer of tragedy and ethical dilemma to the narrative. It questions the validity of the new identity and the consequences of such an erasure. I'm always biased for the OG souls maybe that why a lot of SJ fics make him the character who is most suppressed by his role as scum villain succeed in making him heard to be listened to and mattered.

Imma nap lol this rant was loooong!!!

[kuruk]

ikm going to cry why don't people make gl manhwa we need to change this on a wide scale and quickly the bl comic market is flooded thoese people should jusr turn their lives around and start making yuri theuy should do yuri remakes of popular yaoi comics and also remakes of straight romance comics we we need butch ceos we need lesbians in our chaebol dramas we need lesbian killing stalking we need butch cold duke of thr north we need to put butchfemme couples at the center of everhy mediocre otome isekai we need more femmes working in the uke industry We need to stop making gamer yaoi with ukes who play as a girl online and replace it wirh beautiful female semes playing male characters like the otokoyaku of mmorpgs we need more regression stories where the mc tries to change her future to avoid being killed by the WOMAN who killed her before we need more femmes in the transmigration field w we need to see more women dying and transmigrating into rhe pet fish of a beautiful xianxia lesbian

[moonshinesonic-moonstarslight]

Paper Planes story notes:

Okay, so who else wants to see Shen Yuan trying his best to not get trapped in og!Shang Qinghua's web? While said character is casually sipping vinegar like it's fine wine because he's aware of the System, the fact that he has lived through many different versions of this story, that he is the vessel of the creator god, and that out of all the souls in this game "Peerless Cucumber" is the only one who has Airplane's favor so much.

Not even Mobei Jun has the same benefits for being the "favorite character" as Peerless Cucumber gets for being the favorite follower. Seeing that he gets happy endings, purposely left blind to the inevitable tragedy to come, the story warped to benefit his wims, and he's the only one who gets Airplane playing along personally with his story beyond the usual song and dance.

Yeah, for the possessive vessel who is in a love-hate relationship with his god... Peerless Cucumber is the one person he is willing to put up with the System in order to be able to pull him off his pedestal.

Lucky for him! The System has been getting bored with the usual storylines and decided that it wanted to see how User 002 would be able to handle a meta-knowing character and see if it can finally be free of giving said user Easy Mode. (It has to offer it and Shen Yuan keeps taking it...)

So it allowed Shang Qinghua to recall the past storylines and the things surrounding Airplane (Which is something that has been permitted before so no big deal), made sure that the traitor didn't go into his tried and true tactics of focusing on getting Mobei Jun to become king while doing everything to make the North the only true stable part of the demon world one Tianlang Jun gets sealed away. (Og Shang Qinghua has two people who are worth the heartbreak and suffering that ultimately is his fate: Mobei Jun and Airplane. Not that he would tell either of them, especially Airplane, but that doesn't mean he doesn't see them as the only people worth his effort.)

In order to get what it wants for this story, the System pushed for Shang Qinghua (still a lowly disciple and fighting against his need for human connection because he knows how it's going to end up) to make connections in the sect. Basically either make a friend with one of the other characters or find a lover with one of them.

And while Shang Qinghua isn't keen on facing the pain of connecting with another person only for it to crumble into tragedy... He has befriended Shen Jiu before. Mind you it never ends well. But he has.

While he always tries to keep a pessimistic view, Shang Qinghua actually has a lot of optimism regarding making changes in comparison to Airplane. So here he goes again attempting to have a relationship with Shen Jiu.

So Scumrat was a thing that had happened before Shen Yuan got transmigrated in. It ended pretty nastily but given that Shang Qinghua has a habit of leaving the past in the past while Shen Qingqiu has a habit of avoiding his actual feelings... Neither had brought their past up and have been moving on with a distant professional relationship.

However... Shen Jiu was in love. Still in love actually. There is one person he would lay with and that is his sneaky shidi who is too pretty for his own good. Shen Qingqiu had to fight to control his impulse to look at no other person when Shang Qinghua is in the same room. He was able to control it after a few years, but it is still a fight. (Shang Qinghua has a way of digging his way into people's hearts and just staying. Does he realize this? Nope! If he did it would be a thousand times worse.) He also has a weakness for Shang Qinghua's attention and touch. Thankfully, Shang Qinghua (who knows about this weakness) has never found a reason to use that weakness against him... Yet.

And while Shen Jiu is gone... his body is still present and the echoes of those memories are deeply engrained to where not even a soul transfer can change that fact.

Shen Yuan doesn't know this. And he doesn't have the training to ignore his body's need to watch and melt under the touch of Shang Qinghua.

Who is more than willing to use Shen Jiu's weaknesses against Peerless Cucumber. Especially once he notices that the transmigrator can't pull his eyes away when they first meet. Not even Luo Binghe can drag those eyes away and Peerless Cucumber has blatant favoritism to the little godling. (They meet before the IAC because Shang Qinghua is not dealing with shoddy paperwork thank you! Basically, he came back from a melon seed trade deal to an amnestic Shen Qingqiu and, while being completely aware of what happened, decided to be a 'good shidi' and assist his shixiong with relearning how to do the administrative side of Peak Lord work.)

The System is sitting back on Shang Qinghua's side and pushing on Shen Yuan's. If it could eat it would be popping back popcorn as it watched the showdown between the Author's Vessel and the Favorite Anti-Fan.

Still trying to figure out what happens after the sudden realization that the scum traitor is fully aware that you are not his shixiong and he has no reason not to use said shixiong's weaknesses against you.

Shen Yuan is desperately trying to remain standing and keep the protagonist from landing into the traitor's web. Because Luo Binghe likes his shishu for some reason.