#transmasc if we are being specific

[contagious-watermelon]

Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.

But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.

But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.

It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'

[mouseratz]

it's interesting how many transmascs on this site can observe the way that feminism has often been derailed by "mens rights activism", because feminism is seen as a threat to men's rights- women's rights are viewed as in opposition to men's rights & therefore incompatible (for the crime of merely admitting how misogyny has a place in our society)

and yet. feel no need to self reflect on the way transmisogyny is viewed, too, as in opposition to trans men. how trans women's rights are viewed as incompatible with trans men's rights, how transfemmes are pretty constantly attacked for expressing their experiences & struggles because merely saying they exist uniquely is seen as an attack on transmascs, is seen as denying the issues that transmascs have.....somehow, the "what about me?" response is all that matters.

that is why "transandrophobia" gets compared to men's rights activism. that is why it's so connected to transmisogyny (which you're apparently not supposed to admit that people within the trans community are capable of); it is a repeat of gendered issues, there is still a refusal to just try to understand what women are saying. a continued insistence of "my issues are more important than yours" (even though that was never really what was being said in the first place. all that was being asked was to listen, to try to understand....but when a woman says it, complains about something, that's what you feel is implied. for some reason. hm, is there a word for that?)

[dkettchen]

I've determined that my relationship to groups of straight men is I'm like a cute little monkey that can do tricks for them (ex. at a party at uni one time one of the guys brought like a 5kg(?) dumbbell from his room and had me try n lift it with my tiny E-based spaghetti arms, and when I labourously managed to they all cheered), or like- when I wanna say smth, they'll shush their other lads like "yo, shut up, the monkey's gonna talk! I wanna hear what it has to say!", like they don't sexualise me (cause issa monkey) but they're still endeared to me (cause is tiny and cute)

like you know those capuchin monkeys that people put in little outfits, that's what lads see when they look at me

it's giving freak show (affectionate) a little bit, but I think straight men not being interested in me while still being nice to me is possibly the best nonbinary deal I coulda gotten out of this

[tea-and-secrets]

yeah ur blog supports trans women but do you support trans men? Transmasculine people? Is it so hard to just put "trans people" in your description instead of "trans women" and not participate in transmasc erasure?

my header is a response to a very troubling trend in transmisogynistic replies + asks i'd gotten at the time of making it

but...... i agree with you! our solidarity comes first!! and i also understand that trans women interface with an added dimension of transmisogyny, a specific kind of violence that compounds on top of transphobia

i don't ever want to imply that any person is less deserving of care or visibility, our solidarity is more productive always always always.

i understand where you're coming from, i'll change my header, but i want to be very clear about intent first + foremost ^_^

(attaching the new header image in case anyone wants to see/use it!)

[aropride]

u can literally talk abt ur own experiences with transphobia and people being violent or bigoted or cruel towards you because you're a trans man and people will compare you to deranged conspiracy theorists for daring to say you might experience discrimination. it's fucking crazy like what level of internet brainrot do you have to have to think it's helpful on any level to deny someone's experiences and call them conspiracy theorists because they're a trans man and "men aren't oppressed" or whatever

[waterme-stories]

Valentine Vuong is a transfemme they/them enby, I am not accepting criticism at this time 😇

[fefairys]

transandrophobia is worth talking about. the word transandrophobia does not imply the existence of misandry holy fucking shit can we please move past this idea??? i’m so fucking tired. i’m so fucking tired.

[gemharvest]

thought i have been mulling over in my head can yuou fucking humor me for a moment

[loveguts]

i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives

[karinyosa]

i can't go into the tag rn bc i'll get spoilers but the other show i'm going insane about is blue eye samurai and oh my god. the scene where mizu has a flashback to the fight w taigen while watching a threesome. my god

[ghostcrows]

"it doesnt matter if the tme/tma terminology is imperfect" thats weird because literally every single word people have tried to come up with for anti transmasculine sentiment has been shut down for imperfect terminology so does the terminology need to be perfect or not. im just wondering why we make random exceptions like this

disclaimer that im not against tme/tma as terms and i understand needing to put words to how you specifically are targeted systematically for being at an intersection of two marginalized identities...but i find that so infuriatingly hypocritical

[dayurno]

does anyone have any fun trans kevin hcs??? ive been thinking about it lately. why are all hot boys from 🏳️‍⚧️

[malhare-archive]

I don't do discourse here anymore I SWEAR but the thing that will always drive me crazy is people insisting that trans men do not face a specific intersection of oppression like trans women do. There are issues specific to trans men whether you like to admit it or not lol

[rasairui]

Post: gender identity is complicated and everyone has their own unique relationship with it. Presentation does not equal gender and not everyone likes strict labels!

Me: Yeah! True! This is great so far please don't turn this into-

Post: I will now use this as an excuse to obsessively list every possible way in which a lesbian ends up with a man. I will equate butches and gnc women to men, completely missing my own point when I said presentation doesn't equal gender. Also being transmasc is always the same as being male aligned btw. I'm going to find a way to fit dissociative identity disorder into this for some reason. I'm also going to be really condescending and talk like no lesbian has ever understood the concept of gender noncomformity, ambiguity and complex relationships to gender. No, I never talk this way about gay men and nblm why do you ask

[nightmarish-fallen-angel]

hey if literally hundreds of people are interpreting your post a certain way, then maybe you DID imply some things you didn't say. the entire purpose of the post is to complain that there are people who say "transmascs need to unpack their internalized misogyny" and you need to take a step back and realize that isn't a good look no matter how you explain it

I don't believe this is true primarily because the "transandrophobia discourse" that goes against transandrophobia states that the very term/concept means transmascs don't believe transmisogyny exists (which is not true). And the primary people who reblogged that post with the addition everyone is replying to do believe that.

So I struggle to believe that it was taken in good faith.

I did write the post in anger and I wasm't as clear as I would have liked, but I still stand by the argument that constantly singling out the transmasc community as being more prevalent with issues of misogyny or internalized misogyny is wrong.

[wild-at-mind]

If you ever see me becoming one of those transmisandry people, please fucking call me out immediately.