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trohpi · 4 months ago

Note

Hiya ^^

I heard that you take one-shot requests with trans characters and so I was wondering if you could maybe help me out with this...

I git the idea bc I just got my fcking period (suxks as a trans person) and needed some comfort so I thought trans!Sirius (ftm) having his period after hogwarts where he and Remus live together and he feels like sh!t because he's bleeding out and it's giving him dysphoria and then Remus takes care of him and makes him hot chocolate.

I'd rely appreciate it. Thank you so much <3

hello!! hope youre feeling better, periods can be tough ik. this will actually be my first request, sorry it took longer than expected. i hope i did your idea justice and that you enjoy <3

wolfstar w/ ftm sirius • 2.4k words • cw: periods, dysphoria

cross-posted to ao3

Sirius wakes to the sound of incessant meowing and a low ache in his gut. Bleary-eyed and sleepy as he is, he doesn’t even register the pain at first. He shifts under rumpled sheets, mid-morning sun flooding the room and blinding him. A ball of splotchy tri-coloured fur sits in the window sill, pawing at the glass and disrupting the blackout curtains Sirius insisted they have in the bedroom. Unwanted light filters through the window and he groans.

“Linette,” Sirius calls, voice thick and almost whiny with sleep. “What are you doing?”

She only meows again, tail twitching eagerly as she watches whatever it is that has caught her attention outside. Likely a bird or a squirrel, or perhaps one of the bunnies that moved into the backyard. Sirius huffs and moves to sit up, aiming to grab Linette and exile her to the living room, when a painfully familiar cramping of the abdomen hits him and Sirius’ mouth goes dry.

All remnants of sleep wash away in an instant, leaving him hyper-aware of every feeling, every minute sensation in his body. The incoming headache, the tight soreness of his lower muscles, and— Sirius discovers with a shudder as he shifts— the warm wetness of his underwear.

“Fuck,” Sirius mumbles, a sick feeling churning within. He quickly gets up, swallowing thickly at the small blood stain on the pale blue sheets. Moony just bought those, he thinks fuzzily, and suddenly he feels the urge to cry.

Sirius’ periods have always been irregular, no way to consistently track them, and it’s only gotten harder in the months since he’s started his masculinization potions. It's almost worse when he’s blindsided like this, wholly caught off guard by the onslaught of hormones and emotions. At least when he knows it’s coming, he can mentally prepare. This time, his walls were down, and now his mind buzzes as he stares at the stained sheets below.

He can’t handle this right now. He quickly looks away, resolving to deal with it later. Numbly, he scoops up a squirmy Linette from the window sill and makes his way out of the room.

Remus is curled up on the sofa, cup of too-sweet coffee cradled delicately in scarred fingers as he reads a book, the Muggle one his mother gave him when they moved in last month. He perks up at the sound of footsteps, turning to see Sirius in the hall entrance. The small, fond smile on his face quickly falls into a concerned frown when he sees the paleness of his face and tense line of his body.

Sirius’ breath hitches, a tangled mess of emotion swelling within him. He wants to not exist, and yet he wants so desperately for Remus to hold him, to cradle him just as delicately as he would the chipped porcelain mug he drinks from every morning.

Remus sits up, setting the well-loved mug aside as his book falls facedown on the cushion beside him. “Cariad?”

Sirius’ eyes well with tears, but they don’t fall. Sirius hates crying, has hated it since he was a child and his mother would punish him for it. Even now, nearly three years since he got out of that house, he can’t shake the urge to bottle everything up and hide.

Linette squirms in his arms again, dragging him back to reality. Sirius sniffles, letting her drop to the floor. The mostly-white calico wastes no time sprinting back to the bedroom, no doubt to meow at the window once more, but Sirius hardly pays attention to that. No, his eyes are locked on his boyfriend, who has already made his way over to him with an air of worry.

“Are you alright?” he asks, hands twitching as if he wants to reach out but is unsure if that would be okay. It would be. Sirius craves his touch, always will.

Sirius reaches out and tangles their fingers together for him, squeezing harshly as if doing so will tether them together.

“There’s blood on the sheets,” he mutters, and the concern melts into understanding.

“That’s alright,” Remus says softly, squeezing back. “I’ll handle the bed, you go take a bath.”

Sirius immediately shakes his head. “No, Moony, you don’t have to—”

“Sirius, it’s okay. I want to do this for you.”

“But…” Sirius chews on his lip, looking away shamefully. “It’s gross, Rem.”

Remus reaches up and gently grips his chin, tilting his head up to make Sirius look at him. His hazel eyes are tender and reassuring, immediately making Sirius melt just a bit.

“How many times have you cleaned up blood from my sheets after a full moon, Sirius?”

“It’s not the same.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Not at all. That blood isn’t from… from down there.”

“It’s just blood, love,” Remus says patiently. “Doesn’t matter where it came from.”

He hesitates, chewing on his lip once more. On one hand, he thinks he’ll end up in a ball of tears if he tries to clean the sheets himself, but on the other hand, he can’t help but feel self-conscious. Despite having been together for close to two years, Remus hasn’t seen that yet. Sirius has made sure of it. Sure, he’s been there during his period— he’s cuddled him and helped fulfil his cravings and warmed up the Muggle heating pad Lily gave him in their fourth year— but he hasn’t actually seen the blood. Sirius’ dysphoric mind is convinced that he will be disgusted with Sirius and his body when he sees it, even if he knows that Remus would never.

“I can see you spiralling,” Remus mutters, running his thumb along the backs of the other man’s knuckles. Sirius sighs.

“Sorry, I just—”

“Sirius,” he says softly. “Let me help you, please?”

He swallows thickly and, before he can change his mind, says, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Remus repeats with a smile, tugging him closer and pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead. “Now, go take a nice long bath, cariad. I’ll have your heating pad and a cuppa waiting for you when you’re done.”

Sirius hums, a warm feeling settling in his chest. “Switch the tea for a cup of that special hot chocolate your mother sent and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“A cup of mam’s hot chocolate it is, then,” Remus says easily and Sirius feels a small smile slip on his face, his first one all morning.

“You’re too good to me.”

“You deserve good.” The other man puts some space between them and before Sirius can even mourn the loss, he’s being gently shoved in the direction of the bathroom. “Now go. I’ll get your clothes too once you’re in the tub.”

“Alright,” he says softly. “Thank you, Moons.”

“Of course, love.”

And with that, Sirius moves down the hall and stops by their bedroom. He grabs his wand and some of his clothes— minus the fuzzy knit sweater, which is actually Remus’ and two sizes too big— and makes his way to the large, tiled bathroom. The door shuts behind him with a quiet snick and, carefully avoiding eye contact with the mirrors, he quickly casts blurring charms on them all. He usually doesn’t have to resort to such measures, rather comfortable in his body now that he’s been magically transitioning for over a year, but his periods always bring about a particular sense of discomfort regarding his appearance.

Trying his best not to let his thoughts drift negatively, he strips off his bloodied clothes and sends them to the laundry hamper in their bedroom with a flick of his wand.

The water is warm and relaxing when he sinks into the tub, soothing aches he didn’t even realise he had. Sirius sighs, letting his head fall back against the tile and his eyes fall shut.

Sirius had almost thought that he was done with periods. He hasn’t bled in months, and he had just started getting his hopes up that the potions had finally stopped his cycle as they were meant to, but no. He feels a bit defeated, if he’s being honest with himself. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle this on his own.

But you’re not on your own, a voice in his head reminds him as he begins to clean himself.

And the thing is, the voice is right. He has Remus.

Sirius has always had trouble seeking help from others, most especially those he’s close to. It always sparks a sense of shame. Maybe his mother moulded that into him, or maybe he was always like this. Whatever the reason, he struggles.

Remus tells him it’s okay to need help sometimes. Sirius knows that, logically. He’s been on the receiving end of that request more times than he can count for Remus— in the days leading up to and following the full moon he needs all the help he can get. He also knows that if someone cares about you, they won’t mind lending a hand when you need it. It just takes some getting used to, Sirius supposes. The care, the support, the concern.

He is getting used to it, slowly but surely. Has to, when he lives with Remus Lupin of all people. His tall, scarred, mean-looking werewolf boyfriend is actually the softest and most loving person he has ever met, and he refuses to let Sirius get away with shutting him out.

Sirius loves him even more for it.

Only a couple minutes later finds him dripping onto the bath mat, towel wrapped tightly around his waist as pink-tinged water swirls down the drain. He quickly pulls on Remus’ sweater and begins rummaging through the cabinets, searching for his cloth pads. He finds one buried underneath a pile of hair scrunchies and he places the pad in his boxers, securing it with a light sticking charm just so he doesn’t have to worry or think about it.

He tugs on his baggy sweatpants with a wince, lower muscles cramping in protest at the lack of soothing warmth now that he’s left the bath. It’s not quite bad enough to need a pain relieving potion just yet, especially not before he’s got his hands on his heating pad, but he can already tell this one will be rough.

At least he’ll have Remus to help him through it, even if he has to force Sirius to let him do so.

Sirius feels a bit like a wet cat as his damp curls drip onto the muted orange sweater he stole borrowed. He quickly grabs his abandoned wand off the counter and casts a quick drying spell, feeling the weight disappear off his head as his curls become light and bouncy once more. With a huff of satisfaction, he slips his wand into his pocket and opens the bathroom door to leave. Immediately, he hears a pleased mrrrp followed by Linette darting between his legs, purring and rubbing all the while. He chuckles, bending over to scratch at her cheeks.

“Finally more interested in me than the birds outside the window, huh, ma pépette?”

Linette purrs even louder in reply, rubbing so aggressively against his hands that she nearly stabs herself in the eye with his fingers. Sirius snorts inelegantly and scoops her up, letting her perch herself comfortably on his shoulder before he finally steps out of the bathroom.

Immediately he can smell the faintest hint of chocolate and nutmeg wafting from the kitchen. Warmth bubbles in his chest as he shuffles into the living room. On the sofa sits the quilt Effie gifted them when they moved in, Sirius’ heating pad folded with care on his seat. Gentle music plays from the wireless and he has to bite back a soft smile. Merlin, he loves this man.

“Have a nice bath, love?”

Sirius turns to see Remus standing in the doorway, two steaming mugs held in his hands. Linette chirps happily at the sight of him, and Sirius privately agrees.

“It was alright,” he hums lightly. “S’that for me?”

“Ah, no, actually. Figured I’d get two hot chocolates all to myself while my poor, sweet boyfriend wastes away on the couch all by himself.”

“How utterly cruel of you, Moons. I’m heartbroken.”

Remus snickers. “Go sit down, Pads.”

“Mm, alright.”

Sirius plops down on the couch, jostling Linette whose tail flicks in displeasure, and burrows under the cosy red quilt. Before Sirius can even think to do it himself, Remus has set the mugs down on the end table and grabbed the heating pad.

“Rem, I can—”

“No, I’ve got it,” he reassures. “Drink your hot chocolate, I’ll set this up.”

“If you say so,” Sirius says a bit reluctantly.

Linette drops off his shoulder onto the couch cushion next to him as he reaches for one of the mugs.

The first sip is heaven, always is. Hope Lupin’s hot chocolate recipe is a gift from Merlin himself.

“Godric, this is fantastic,” Sirius groans delightedly. Remus chuckles as he plugs in the heating pad.

“Isn’t it?”

“Tell your mother she’s a saint for me next time you phone her.”

“‘Course, Pads,” Remus says as he walks back over, careful to avoid tripping on the cord. Linette hops down and starts smelling it curiously.

“C’mon, baban, leave it alone,” he chides while batting her away gently.

“Aw, leave her be, Remus! What’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could chew on the cord and be electrocuted,” he deadpans. Sirius blinks.

“Right. Forgot Muggle technology is utterly terrifying. Carry on, then.”

Remus snorts and picks her up, setting her on Sirius’ lap which has already started to warm up. She purrs, cuddling into the heat and closing her eyes contentedly. Sirius runs a hand through her fur while he takes another sip from his mug. A weight settles next to him on the couch as Remus cuddles up to his side, reaching over him to grab his own hot chocolate from the end table.

Sirius hums happily, tilting his body into Remus’ and melting against the cushions. A little peck on his temple makes a soft grin slide on his face and he lets his eyes fall shut.

“Thank you for this, Moons.”

A hand reaches out to tangle with his own, squeezing gently but firm. “Of course, cariad. You mean the world to me.”

“You do, too. I wouldn’t be able to do this without you, you know.”

Remus hums, pressing another kiss to his head before he says softly, “Well, good thing you don’t have to, then.”

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