#trans people do way more thinking about who they are and how they want to be seen than most cis people

[so-i-did-this-thing]

im sorry this might not be the place to ask for advice/help but im doomscrolling about the news and the soon to be president and im seeing so much to be scared shitless about, invasions, removal of vaccines, cost of living increases, revoking of trans rights and how it might make it all the more impossible to get the surgeries i wanted... its just too fucking scary to breathe right now what do i do with myself

Hey, Anon. I'm here. A lot of us are here right with you.

It's scary, to be sure. And I'm not going to sugarcoat the possibilities of things going south very quickly. So, let's jump into some survival tactics.

This post on burnout is a great place to start. There is a lot of overlap with burnout and the anxiety you're feeling.

Allow yourself to slow down and unplug. You are allowed to step away from the news cycle -- events out of your control will unfold regardless.

Don't feel guilty by letting yourself relax. I find it especially helpful to do activities that don't involve the internet -- I've been decorating my house, mending broken crockery, and sketching some embroidery ideas. I try to take the time to get dressed and groomed every day, to remind myself that I matter. I spend more time outdoors.

As you find the ability to relax, you'll be able to focus better on the things you can do to be resilient. Things I have been doing to improve myself and make me a better helper:

Staying on top of my medical appointments and any preventive care I can do

Working to be physically healthier overall to mitigate future medical issues

Getting all my paperwork in order, including passports

Tweaking my financial budget

Researching what estate & family documentation needs to be done to protect my relationship in case my marriage gets dissolved

Brushing up on job skills, getting new certifications to stay competitively employable

Stocking up on my medical and general emergency supplies, especially for bad weather events

Getting in the habit of mindful purchases, curbing my habit of impulse shopping

Selling things I don't want or need anymore to have a little extra money and be able to move house easier, if need be

Building a habit of fixing/maintaining my possessions instead of trashing broken things

Canceling online subscriptions and quitting social networks that make me feel in danger

Getting my personal and any queer-related files out of the cloud and onto redundant solid state drives

Downloading / printing out queer resources and buying queer art that may be banned or monitored in the future

Enjoying physical media again and hunting for old favorites

Keeping in touch with queer friends and allies and making plans in case people (even myself) need to flee

Being visible when I can and knowing when it's best to lay low

Allowing myself the luxury to dig into things Old Me would have saved for "special" events -- aka, wearing the nice clothes and eating off the fine china as an everyday thing

Shutting the fuck up, especially online, when I think my words could be used against me

In a way, I am trying to simply become a better version of myself, one who is calm & self-sufficient, mindful about his actions, and available to help those in need. It sucks that the driving factor is fear, but I intend to use that fear as a catalyst to be stronger and survive.

There is a lot to be done, but there was always going to be work, new regime or not. But please, start with that burnout article so you can jump into your own plans with new hope and energy. ❤️

[doberbutts]

hello! I'm the one that sent you that ask a week or so ago. Sorry I didn't check to see if you'd answered for a while because I was just so upset and had to take a second. I will say I scrolled through a bunch of helpful posts you reblogged before I even found the ask again that helped a LOT.

Two things I thought you might want to know is that it wasn't speculation that you'd blocked the weirdo blog that sent me your way: they literally have "proudly blocked by doberbutts" in their bio which was why i felt safe coming to you lmao. Second is I guess my struggle with this issue was an overall struggle with how bad wider misogyny has gotten in general and how muddied it's gotten with the "male loneliness crisis" and like, centering men's issues under patriarchy and just how insanely upset it's been making me. Seeing cis MRAs identify with trans men freaked me out because like, yeah it's important to talk about how (cis) men suffer under patriarchy but it's just so rare for me to find men do that without devolving into misogyny, and I start to feel so helpless because I know validating these issues matter but women are being literally dehumanized openly. I do play oppression olympics with this specific issue and just of COURSE women suffer more under patriarchy, but the same men who demand space to air how they suffer won't acknowledge that truth. (sorry for soapboxing; some of them do! It's just...things are so bad for women rn lol it's really hard to have compassion when it feels like none is being given to me).

So the more I see this issue the more I think people are being affected by larger misogyny like I am, but are doing the typical thing that happens where you lash out at a group you can "reach." Policing and harassing trans men's behaviours is way easier than cis men. I've also been seeing some parallels between this discourse and the "gay men vs lesbian women" discourse. It's not really a one-to-one but the discussion of the role of misogyny re homophobia towards gay men who still have male privilege but, come on, if they have feminine affectation it's Different and the back and forth that used to happen when gay men and lesbian women did oppression olympics, it just feels similar.

idk as i type this I hope I don't come across disingenuous or like, my Too Casual Overly Respectful tone is trying to subtly incept you. I worry my vibes are too "women first" but I just can't help it misogyny really is ruining my life 😭. Anyways I'm very grateful for your perspective and your blog. I feel more settled and equipped to push back against anti transmasculine behaviour with rhetoric that can actually challenge people

To respond to each point in turn:

1: Again I still don't really know who that is, though I am somewhat bemused by the idea that someone I clearly don't really remember is still so obsessed with me that they're proud I've blocked them. For the record, my block list is as follows: people who send anonymous hate, people who continue to harass me after I've told them to stop, people I catch with posts containing inexcusable bigotry, obvious trolls, self-identified zoophiles and MAPs, and people who repeatedly send me fundraisers after I have already said I only share fundraisers from people I know and trust. Being on my block list is, um, not really good company, so it's kind of funny to me that someone is proud to be there. Yeah I'm sure they'll fit right in with the neo-nazis and dogfuckers and cyber bullies. Oh and I guess my ex but I only blocked them after they started harassing me about our failed relationship years later. Enjoy block hell I suppose.

2: I'm not really here to play who has it worse, not because I don't recognize the wider understanding of privilege vs oppression but because I think it is a self-defeating thread of thought because you will always find a "more oppressed" example, and I think that people should be allowed to talk about their hurts regardless of their status of "more oppressed" vs "less oppressed". Talking about the ways society has hurt them is not what makes MRAs dangerous. What makes them dangerous is who they blame, how they go about fixing their problem, and the solutions to their problems they come up with.

To be quite frank, the majority of MRAs are men who have experienced some form of social rejection or isolation. Most have been sold some patriarchal lie about how by being men they inherently deserve good sex with hot women on demand, a wife at home to keep barefoot and pregnant, a high paying job where they are respected and valued regardless of the effort they themselves put into it, and all the luxuries that lifestyle can afford. This is a fantasy, you and I both know it. And when these men realize the hard reality that we live in an age of extreme social isolation, that in order to have a partner you need to actually have more personality than a used dishrag and with only half the mess at max, that good sex is about give and take and not just yourself, that these high paying jobs are few and far between with most takers being born into some level of wealth rather than any merit they themselves have earned... they lash out.

It does not at all help things to understand that many of these MRAs are themselves marginalized in some way, but their framework not only doesn't let them see it but also advocates a harsh rejection of anyone who is self-aware enough to realize it. A lot of these guys are undiagnosed, have trauma, and are just as affected by the systems of racism, classism, homo- and trans-phobia, xenophobia, sexism, and ableism as the rest of us.

Quite frankly, I'd rather these dudes see a group of (trans) men fighting for our place in society by joining hands with other activists with more feminist, black-friendly, disabled-friendly, gay- and trans-friendly in an attempt to lift everyone out of the pit rather than continuing to fight over scraps... than to see them continue to blame women and Jews and then go shoot up a school or a mall about it. One of these helps. The other just kills people and excuses rape. There's a lot of value in deradicalizing people by offering them a path to resolving their pain that is perhaps less destructive and more constructive.

This is also why the constant comparison to MRAs annoys me. MRAs kill people in senseless acts of terror and despair because they're upset that they're not having the sex fantasy the patriarchy sold them. Trans men talking about our oppression- regardless of the word we use to express it- are mostly talking amongst ourselves about suicide and rape statistics and sharing ways to get hormones and surgery despite unwilling doctors and insurance companies. We're talking about how our social groups rejected us the moment we came out, or how people use us being men against us in ways that was not happening before we came out or passed. These are not at all equivalent conversations.

3: Again I ask you- I see people using both cis and trans feminist frameworks to hurt other people. Where is your concern for that? I am equally concerned about TERFs as I am about MRAs, as they have driven multiple transgender people and our allies to suicide and even have committed acts of violence against people irl as a result of their ideology. Most TERFs will also be the first ones to tell you that they have been hurt, deeply, by men and that they also are frequently undiagnosed or untreated, traumatized, and affected by the same systems of oppression. Does their existence and their determination to latch onto every feminist conversation including those of people who are staunchly against them then poison all feminism to you? If not, then why make that distinction for trans men and MRAs?

I am black. I am Indigenous. I am transgender. I am gay. I am disabled. I am poor. I suffer. People hurt me. I see every day how bad things are. Do you think I cannot see it, or that my ignorance is the reason for my request for compassion? Perhaps consider that it is rather my knowledge and my lived experience that fuel my call for compassion, instead. I never said it would be easy. But I do think it would make a better world.

4: I do actually agree that it is very similar to the gay man vs lesbian conversation and have said for a while that it's the same queer infighting discussion we've already hashed out for the last 50 or so years, but the target groups just swapped out. It's just butchphobia, it's just biphobia, it's just aphobia, it's just panphobia, it's just nbphobia- it's the same fucking shit over and over and over again. It was shit infighting before and it's shit infighting now. Privilege is a conversation that depends so heavily on context, and the way it has been bastardized by the internet's poor understanding of political frameworks developed by women of color and their allies into cute soundbites and phrases rather than a deep, nuanced knowledge will never fail to annoy me.

Do gay men have privilege over lesbians? As a class, sure, they would have male privilege. But what do we mean by male privilege? The privilege to not worry about being assaulted on the street? To walk home late at night unbothered? To marry who they want, to have the romantic partner they desire, to feel safe within a domestic partnership? You and I both know that doesn't quite match up to the lived experience of gay men worldwide or even here in the "gay paradise" US. How does this interact with other marginalizations? Does a black gay man have privilege over a white lesbian? What happens if he's a drag queen dressed up for an event and she's a butch that passes for cis male? Does that change retroactively if this "gay man" figures out she's actually a transbian 5 years later, and the lesbian is a TERF? I'm not saying this breaks the framework of male privilege- I am saying that sometimes the theory doesn't match the reality, and a nuanced and intersectional understanding is required when talking on an individual scope rather than class politics.

Additionally- as a side note- it is also incredibly annoying to watch people act like privilege = oppressor = dangerous, and oppressed = victim = safe. Privilege, and whether or not you have any, is not a moral indicator nor is it an indicator of the safety of the person you're interacting with. I have privilege over people who cannot walk, because I can. I am not objectively or systemically oppressing people who cannot walk by the use of my legs in my day-to-day life. Oppression is action- if I vote for policies and politicians that removes ramps and safety regulations and provisions to assist wheelchair users? Now I am oppressing people who cannot walk. If I block or move or interfere with the disability aids, if I mock people or assault or harm them, if I dump them out of their mobility aids or break them, that is oppression. The act of climbing the 3 stairs on my front porch to get into my house is a privilege, but the oppression stems from the people who built my house to even have stairs on both exits.

5: lastly to end a very long post, I don't actually think there's any harm in centering yourself when discussing things that objectively affect you, as long as you remember to include others who are affected and let them have their floor to also center themselves when they need to speak up. I am a black trans man. My politics are pretty centered on black feminism. I don't think that is objectively a bad thing. I prefer to let the demographics with similar problems speak for themselves- I would rather my trans fem friends get the mic when they open their mouths, my lesbian friends, my Jewish friends, my latino and asian and arab friends. I don't think there's anything wrong with them centering their own problems and outlooks, as long as they recognize that there's shared space to be had with others who feel similar hurts. I think it's pretty normal to center yourself. I think the difficult thing is knowing when to relinquish the megaphone to someone who's been dying to use it, while you yourself still have so much to say.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

I genuinely thought my wife would remain the only trans woman i have ever met who dont think trans men are being insufferable brats when we attempt to talk about how we're treated for being the "dirty icky yucky oppressor" gender by other queer people and seen as a wannabe half-breed by cis people. im really, indescribably happy i've met another one. I cant thank you enough for talking about trans men and our struggles and not treating us all like some horrible insane collective of crybabies. thank you so much. thank you so so so fucking much. i know you get dozens of these but i am typing this through tears in my eyes. Thank you.

I want to add: I'm black. I cant articulate it well, but watching (mostly) white women parade around how much they're entitled to hate hate hate queer men and how we could never ever ever be socially ostracized/oppressed for our identities makes me scared when i know about who Emmett Till was. That mentality still exists within cis white women and it makes me TERRIFIED to interact with them. White women do have a sort of social power over black men and it is fucking terrifying to be exposed to IRL. Seeing white trans women latch onto that exact same power and ferociously defend their right to do so puts a level of fear and hurt in me that i also cant describe very well. I hope that makes sense, because i have experienced this dynamic with white women personally.

Hey man, glad you reached out to me, and thank you for sharing your experiences with me. As a trans white woman, I'm inclined to agree that it's mainly white women/transfems who are pulling this shit. It's really concerning seeing not only my fellow queer women, but also white people completely ignoring the oppression that trans men (especially POC) face globally. Like, in the US there's the upcoming administration that's gonna ban birth control, the loss of abortion rights already, and the bathroom/sports bills that affect all trans people, not to mention corrective rape in the Southern states. Then in other countries there's FGM and more corrective rape.

We should be working together, not pushing each other down to see who has it "worse", because we all face oppression in different ways.

I can only hope that we come together at some point, else we are truly fucked.

[ohwell-itsme]

#what if we got bored and dissected human sexuality together

what frustrated me for a good long while before I just... shelved it I guess, because it's not going to get me anywhere is that

once you get past the point of like, trans people are normal and it's transphobia when you exclude them from your attraction on that basis alone, and it's normal and doesn't change your sexuality to love them with whatever genitalia they have the cliff of what you can define as gender based attraction soon ends when you reach "non-binary people exist"

there is nothing, NOTHING, in my appearance that indicates my gender identity, it's simply not one of those that look like anything, but we form our first impressions of people before they speak (supposedly most people just need a one good look, idk to me people are shifty strangers until I can have somewhat of a grasp on their personality and worldview, but turns out that's abnormal and highly paranoid, and like, I'm aroace), somehow the ever popular smash or pass quizzes are easy enough to vote on with just one picture of the person, the eyes just don't careeeee about the nuance of gender,

and preferences for either the feminine or masculine aesthetic no matter how pronounced mean jackshit too, because those are super fluid and constantly reshaped by culture and there's probably more people with gender non-conforming presentations than there is with green eyes, it's literally nonsense, it's case by case in reality and labels sometimes just get in the way, because again it's distressing for non-binary people to parse through who might even be attracted to me? Am I going to be alright getting with a person of that orientation, or would it feel dysphoric, bringing awareness to this side of me, feeling perceived as leaning more to this side? Are my options only mspecs, only other enbies who'll understand? Like the profiling, narrowing the scope of who you might have chances with, based on labels becomes USELESS once you're non-binary, they're not telling you shit!

All of it is stupid, like, fuck your binary, it doesn't even exist, no such a thing in biology. Fuck all the who can say what discourse and the biggest victim contests and the community tearing fucks who don't want to see how similar all of our experiences with misogyny are and conflate our labels with the experiences they think we do have, fuck all the erasure and just all of this bullshit

I'm going to make a huge beam and turn everyone consciously non-binary [the binary is already fake] and then I'll die and when I see god I'm gonna spit in his face, fuck off with all that.

so strange to me that some people aren't bisexual

[genderqueerdykes]

I can't reply to the post directly but I saw a post where you were talking about trans masc erasure especially when you were in college and like....I feel it. I started college in 2003 and identified as a cis butch lesbian because I didn't know there was anything else to be, but also MOST IMPORTANTLY because my "resources" and info on trans men were basically Boys Don't Cry, which every lesbian I knew referred to as a lesbian film and Brandon Teena as a lesbian. There were also vague comments from time to time about Chaz Bono at some point, but again, everyone around me was referring to him as a "confused lesbian". What's frustrating these days is that while there is more information out there and more spaces, there still isn't enough. Like, I learned basically everything I know about my body from Gen Z friends who had better education and affirming teachers. And also finding space when you're almost 40 is an impossible task sometimes. At almost every trans masc group I've attended I've been the oldest by almost 10 or sometimes almost 15 years. It's a really lonely experience. A handful of times we've had moderators who are young and not trans masc and they've talked over me and tried to "correct" the language I use to talk about my experiences - for example, I call myself FTM, and I also say things like "when I was presenting as a woman" or "when I thought I was a lesbian". I use this language intentionally because there were over 30 years of my life where I had no idea of the possibility that I could be anything but a woman and that IS how I identified, and there are over 30 years of experience with that identity that I am still recovering from and that shaped the course of my life in a way that's difficult or impossible to explain without acknowledging it. Part of our erasure unfortunately comes within the community and people not listening to the experiences of others whose journey doesn't line up with the plot beats of a cinematic, linear coming out story (not to knock that if someone has it! But leave room for those of us who don't!). Even though I'm on T and have had top surgery, there's still so much I've had to figure out myself and it's a lonely life. I don't know how to date or make connections (or even if I should! I'm aromantic which I think complicates things sometimes). Anyway I don't know if any of this is relevant but like. I just wanted to say I relate to the erasure stuff. Wouldn't change who I am for anything, but I would change the world in which I had to figure it out.

im really sorry you can relate to this, it affects so many people and a lot of people are proud to say they don't care. it's not okay. trans men and mascs need community irl. i'm bet things were way harder back then, i can't even imagine how hard it must've been to talk about being transmasculine in 2003.

im going to keep my reply brief because i do not want to distract from your experience

[jariten]

2024 Year roundup! (Part 1)

As usual I won't write up anything for titles already featured in a monthly roundup unless I've read more volumes since then.

じゃあ、あんたが作ってみろよ (Jaa, Anta ga Tsukuttemiro yo), Natsuko Taniguchi

あかり (Akari), Marco Kohinata

A子さんの恋人 (A-ko san no Koibito), Akino Kondoh

平家物語夜異聞 (Heike Monogatari Yoru-kun no Hanashi), Fuyuko Kurosaki

多聞くん今どっち!? (Tamon’s B-Side), Yuki Shiwasu [Trans. Amanda Haley]

三文小説集 (Sanmon Shousetsushuu), Tamaki Segawa

ボールアンドチェイン (Ball and Chain), Minami Q-ta

��らやすみ (Hirayasumi), Keigo Shinzo [Trans. Jan Mitsuko Cash]

In my quest to find high school romcoms to fill the gap Kieta Hatsukoi left I followed my fascination with fictional idols. Concepts like Uta no Prince-sama and Idolmaster is interesting in how they produce idols and an alternative form of idol otaku culture, but what about fiction that aim to be relatable but also wish fulfillment to those who are deep into stan culture, or its Japanese equivalent: Oshi-culture (Oshi more or less being the Japanese equivalent of a Bias). Tamon's B-side begins when our heroine Utage, who has a near religious love for her bias: the wild and fanservice-y Tamon of F/ace, not only forms a direct and personal relation to him, she not only learns that his private self is a self-hating, gloomy, near suicidal at all times young man who despite his massive popularity believes himself to be nothing more than a mold spore infecting the earth. Utage is determined to make the people's prince gain confidence and stop wanting to leave this mortal coil at any given time. The series manages to capture the fearsome consumerist machine that fans participate in, the elaborate social codex they operate under, but also captures the conflicting nature of romantic fantasies involving your bias. Because in oshi culture your oshi belongs to no one but the fans as a collective. And whats a religious zealot to do when her deity gets attached to her. All while being a really fun comedy that plays on exaggerated slapstick and emotional extremes. Really hoping the anime adaption brings some fun music to go along with the series bc the official stan twitter accounts are already so fun.

I need to paraphrase a short review I saw for Sanmon Shousetsushuu: "I thought the lady novelist was pretty nasty but the guy is a piece of work himself". Imagine watching your father die a really horrible death, but the way he died is so ridiculous your trauma is never taken seriously. Our protagonist has been a laughing stock his whole life because of his failed comedian father whose life ends with a failed stunt in an aquarium shark tank. But one night he hooks up with a woman who rather than laugh at his story cries. She disappears in the night and years later he finds out she has made a whole career off of his life story. This begins a twisted love/hate affair between the eccentric novelist and a "wild dog". Love nasty adult romances where neither party needs each other for anything but still can't leave each other alone I think there's something beautiful in that. The included one-shot while a bit saccharine with its conclusion I also found pretty satisfying in its portrayal of twisted attachments.

And want to report that Ball and Chain (first chapter has been scanlated!!) as well as Hirayasumi are not losing steam after the great first volumes for each series. Can't wait to read more in 2025!!

[midnight-bay-if]

Hi I recently came across this game, and have found it very interesting so far, however I do have a couple issues with the game, specifically regarding the player's gender/sexuality. Firstly, gender. Basically while I assume based on the inclusion of having a nonbinary gender option, that it wasn't your intent to exclude trans Main characters it also feels like the possibility of one definitely wasn't taken into account. The main thing I've encountered so far is just not taking into account that the MC might have changed their name or stuff between being 7 years old and now. Second sexuality. Specifically how that relates to the genders of the ROs. Mainly how, you don't actually get to chose them and they're predetermined by the player's sexuality. And the problem for me is, that I feel like when it comes to bisexuality this completely misses the mark. Now I obviously can't speak for all bisexuals, but there are many, myself included who have differing tastes when it comes to men and women, so even if two characters are the same in all other regards, aren't necessarily going to be into both of them. For example, Naera is a woman who very much is my type, but Nazu is a man who really isn't. I like to think about it this way, in this regard, the game kind of has 9 ROs in that regard, with 4 of them being mutually exclusive based on player choice. And with the way it's currently set up, the player has limited control over which ones do or don't get locked out, which might mean getting locked out of the one they want, unless they change their character's sexuality.

Hi, anon! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I'm definitely already revising certain things to incorporate identities better.

You are absolutely right; it was never my intention to exclude trans identities. I intended to make trans identities more explicit as the romance heated up. The problem is, I stupidly didn't consider that there are mentions of MC's childhood and appearance in chapter 1. In my efforts to not overwhelm myself, it's something I overlooked.

So, I will take another look at the character customization section of CH1. It should be relatively easy to change the code a little so people can make their identities clear sooner rather than later.

As for sexuality, I already have plans to change it so people can choose the gender of each RO individually. But that will take a little longer because the entire coding needs to be deleted and reworked. It's already on my list, though.

Thanks again for your message. I always appreciate things like this being brought to my attention since a project like this can be overwhelming. So, as I fiddle with language and overthink every sentence, other things can get left behind.

[battlefrankies]

saw ur tags, wanted to give some context because you do bring up some interesting points!

newkama as a term is a combination of okama (a reclaimed pejorative that refers to drag queens/transvestites, who don't always identify as women) and newhalf (a term some trans women celebrities used to refer to themselves in the 90s, but today i've seen most trans women prefer to just be called women) (and the word for trans people in japan today is just english loanwords, literally just 'trans' and 'transgender', so the terminology has evolved)

the newkama and especially iva-chan's impel down group see themselves not as specifically drag queens or trans women, but as people who've transcended the restrictions of gender entirely. they do tap into that campy drag aesthetic though, like you can clearly see the rocky horror influence on ivankov's designs. i think it's a mistake to try and apply concrete labels that we see constantly online to this group (and also, lgbt people in general). oda isn't on twitter reading about how gen Z kids on tiktok want to be portrayed, he's talking to real-life people he meets, but also mostly he's drawing one piece and playing gacha games.

even on momoiro island when they were trying to put sanji in a dress, i think it's important to point out that sanji agreed to that training regimen and discussed it with iva-chan in order to get stronger; he could've left at any time. imo the optics for that section weren't ideal, but it emphasizes the freedom of expression for the newkama who live on that island. there's no pressure to conform to rigid standards of femininity when they're safe and comfortable having body hair and square jaws, but they just wanna wear a frilly dress too. ivankov could (and would) physically alter anyone's body at any point they wanted, but the newkama of the kamabakka kingdom felt no need for that.

are there better ways to portray that? for sure! i'm not mad about oda imperfectly supporting the lgbt community in a time & media environment that was either dismissive or downright hostile to trans people though. it was, again, head and shoulders above pretty much any shonen that was being published at the time. personally, i like that there's such a diversity of trans experiences being depicted in the series with so much affection, to the point where each time sanji said or did anything transphobic, he'd get punished for it. you can truly tell that oda thinks it's dope as fuck that people can just trans their genders, and to me that matters more than optically perfect trans women.

giselle gewelle from bleach, for example, being a really cute trans girl who is also evil, and whose trans identity is openly insulted by a protagonist and also she dies, in 2013. oda having the newkama not just be empowered, heroic characters but also living and thriving on their own island was basically unheard of at a time when 'bury your gays' was so prevalent it's got a tvtropes page. and it's not just that these heroic characters happen to be trans, their establishment of a supportive community in impel down is the REASON luffy could be saved.

i think a lot of people criticize the trans representation in OP in bad faith without context or any intention of trying to understand the context, but i don't take them seriously. the reason we're even talking about the supportive but flawed 2009 trans rep in one piece is because OP has so much staying power and influence in the cultural consciousness. i think it's fair to be uncomfortable with aspects of it, and that speaks to how far we've come since then, which is a good thing. i think the intent of these characters & oda's stance on trans rights couldn't be more clear though.

the trans representation in one piece is phenomenal actually

[projectjasper]

Pond and Phuwin talking about their friendship in an interview with Praew Magazine

[TRANS. CREDIT]

Interviewer: How have you felt during the time you have been working together as partners?

Phuwin: If we really count, it's been exactly four years. In terms of work, I feel that there are many more things that both of us can still do and improve on. But in terms of our relationship, we've come a long way. We started at 0 and now we are at 90+. I've never thought I'd have such an important relationship in my life.

Pond: It's really great. It's a journey I'm very happy with. Now that I said it, I feel shy... I don't want to say too much, or people will accuse me of fanservice, but I'm telling the truth. Because when we just started working together, the word "friendship" wasn't exactly right. But as we worked together more and more, there was a point when we decided we should try to do something that doesn't involve work. And that's when we became friends.

Phuwin: Our relationship is both like that of colleagues and friends. And I feel like both of these aspects developed a lot, until Pond became a really important person in my life.

Interviewer: What do you think made you guys so close?

Pond: At first, we were very different. Not so different that we couldn't get along, but we had different lifestyles. We grew up differently. When we got to know each other more, we felt like we got to know each other's true selves and how we can fit together. It felt right.

Phuwin: I think another common point is that we are getting older, we are growing up. We have more responsibilities, whether it's work, family, or other things. And there are a lot of similarities there. It makes us feel like we've found someone, who is by our side through all this, and it's another thing that made us feel comfortable with each other.

Interviewer: What impresses you the most about the other person?

Pond: Many things. If this was before, I would have said I was impressed by his dedication to work. But now that we have spent more time together, went out to eat together, just did things together that didn't involve work, I feel like we respect each other and care for each other, which is what's important and what keeps us together. It's all about understanding. There is no competition in terms of who is better. We grow together

Phuwin: Something special about Pond that I have not found in anyone else is that he can say something and make me feel fuzzy on the inside. He gives compliments in this very sweet but sincere way. Usually when someone compliments you, you think there must be something behind it for sure. But when Pond compliments someone, it's in earnest. When hearing that, I'm not sure what to do...

Pond: Hey, thank you wa~

Phuwin: There was this one time we were talking on the phone and Pond said: "I'm shy, but I feel like I have to say this..." So I replied: "Hmm... I feel fuzzy listening to that. I don't know what to say, but thank you very much."

Pond: We don't compliment each other often. When there is a chance to do it, let's do it. We've spent this much time together. But I'm feeling really shy....

Interviewer: In that case, let's take the opportunity this New Year's and give each other a compliment or say something to one another.

Pond: Really? When I say this to media, I feel shy. If you get goosebumps, don't take offence. But what I'm going to say is the truth.

Phuwin: Because what we both really care about is not wanting to do anything that seems like fanservice. We don't want to say anything that's not true.

Pond: We feel like being natural is best. This is true. We've known each other since before I was even 20 years old. As we are growing up, we are focusing more on the people around us. Like I said, as I moved away from the word "co-worker" with Phuwin, we really became friends: going out to eat, hanging out together, not forcing each other to do anything, just doing what comes naturally. I'm really happy about it.

Phuwin: Exactly. Pond is a good person. And in the past four years, he has become even better. It turned out that, as we were hanging out, we were picking up each other's habits. He did something and I thought: "Eh... this looks familiar. I do this too." It's like we're learning from each other and becoming better by borrowing good traits from one another.

Pond: Yes, I can say that he is one of the reasons why I've become a better person. He is great at his job and has a very high sense of responsibility. He is a good example. Watching him makes me want to push myself to become better, to be on the same level with him.

Phuwin: Pond is the same. He has a great mindset, he thinks positively, and he sees things from the bright side. Sometimes I look at the bigger picture and see the negative side, but Pond helps me see the positives.

Pond: I feel like we are partners, not just an on-screen CP. I remember when I was a kid, there was a time when my family was having financial problems. But after I acted in a series with Phuwin and it was successful, I could solve all those problems. If we didn't have each other, we wouldn't be where we are today. And we have to continue our journey together.

Phuwin: Do you understand why I get goosebumps now?

[eva-does-its-best]

can you shut the fuck up youre making all trans guys look bad so fucking annoying. insane that u cant handle any fucking criticism whatsoever lol holy shit. whole ass fucking paragraph. gotta put that evil mean trans woman in her place right. god forbid someone gets frustrated at being consistently shit on by people in her community. im gonna be so real rn and say that as trans guys / tme people we have it so much easier its actually insane (coming from someone whos been thru corrective rape when i was 12 after i came out as a trans guy btw! theres my fucking pound of flesh. jesus.) not even rly trying to convince u but u just piss me the fuck off annoying as fuck

First off: So sorry about what happened to you, my most sincere condolences. It's the only thing I can really give, hope your life gives you enough peace and happyness to allow you to live with such an event.

Second:

You're making all trans guys look bad

I'm not a trans guy, I'm a transmasc, very different, a difference you should if not care about at least keep in mind if you want to respect less binary forms of masculinity. I don't speak as nor speak for trans guys, because I am not one, maybe if you actually read what I write you would know.

Insane that you can't handle any fucking criticism

Criticism where? Let me be absolutely blunt and sincere: All I see in the posts I replied to is tired, scared and hurt people who cope with said feelings by turning their vents into everyone else's problems.

I vent a fucking lot, everyone can see that, but when I vent I am sincere and point the source of my pain, how I feel, why I feel that way, and which people I believe reinforce it. What I don't do is go out of my way to involve people who have nothing to do with it or with how I feel.

Trust me I know how they feel, and the way they are dealing with it is incredibly self-destructive and I want nothing more than for them to get out of that shitty mental state that hurts them so they can feel better and have a slightly better life and emotional responses to the world.

Whole ass fucking paragraph

Yeah, that is how one transmits ideas. Shocking.

Gotta put that evil mean trans woman in her place right

I've replied to a couple posts so I don't know which one you're talking about, but I've no clue about the gender of the people who I replied to, I simply replied to shitty ideas, don't care who's behind them.

Pretty lame that you try to make this a gender war, don't you think?

God forbid someone gets frustrated at being consistently shit on by people in her community

"her" ok so this is you personally defending someone you know, I can tell.

Statement goes both ways don't you think? You think this is just for fun?? Yeah let's start a conflict that is affecting the lives of real people for fun!

We are fucking tired of the mockery, the disrespect, and the extreme policing of transmasc and trans men's language and experiences by people who have no say in them.

Do you care about that too or are you a hypocrite? Because when I reply to people's shit-ass posts I do in fact care about them otherwise I'd ignore em and let em keep hurting themselves.

"Oh but these ones attacked this person" I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck. There are shitheads everywhere, in every opinion and side of any conflict. There are gonna be shitheads who use this as an excuse to attack people of a certain particular gender they already had something against, it is irrelevant to the ideas exposed. Let's not act like there isn't a whole plethora of posts about killing transmasc please, you SHOULD care avout that too.

As transmascs/tme people we have it so much easier

You're free to have an opinion about your own experiences and I have no horse in that race. HOWEVER:

•You're not the only transmasc in the world and your opinion is very clearly not a universal truth, so don't you dare spit on everyone else's experiences by deciding what's true and what's not without counting with them.

• In your dumbass dychotomy of "tma/tme" transmasc are not the only ones put on the "tme" label and the same way I cannot talk about YOUR experiences you have no fucking right to talk about everyone else's experiences specially the ones from other identities and lives that you did not get to be or experience.

•Without dipping my toes in your opinion or your experiences I profoundly disagree with you.

• Lastly, WHO THE FUCK CARES WHO HAS IT WORSE?! WE'RE ALL FUCKING HURT AND BROKEN WE'RE LITERALLY KILLED IN THIS WORLD FOR JUST EXISTING, YOU WANT A COMPETITION??? GO FIGHT FOR TRANS PEOPLE'S RIGHTS TO COMPETE IN SPORTS INSTEAD OF CREATING OPRESSION OLYMPICS. GET YOUR COMFY ASS OUT OF YOUR INTERNET ARMCHAIR AND GO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE WORLD FFS.

There's my fucking pound of flesh. jesus.

Again so sorry you had to go through that, but you realize the whole point of this is to be able to have words for those specific forms of opression and awful events right?? To have experiences like that respected and treated with the seriousness they deserve right??? That is what we want.

You experienced transandrophobia, and the people you're defending right now don't want you to have a word for it, or allow only words picked by them as if they had any right to speak for you. Respect yourself more, man.

Not even rly trying to convince u but u just piss me the fuck off annoying as fuck

Hey at least you're honest, good. I don't give a fuck though, if you wanna keep hating me I have good news for you: I don't plan to ever shut the fuck up, enjoy.

The one person you hate is not me anyway, that is plain obvious... but that's a you thing to try and work on.

Sayonara dude👋🏻

[soft-subby-strawberry]

It really means a lot to me that you think trans women are sexy and lovable. Life is tough and seeing stuff like this from cis people makes me feel a lot less alone, and a lot more hopeful. Also it’s super hot tysm.

These are my favorite types of submissions! I'm so happy that I could make you feel comfortable and safe.

I want to make this clear, I fucking hate chasers. I am not a chaser, and I would be so deeply offended if someone called me one. Yes, I have a preference for trans women with girlcocks. Here's the thing, I love women with straps just the same. I just love cocks in general. Fuck I would experiment with a trans boy rubbing his bottom growth on my cunt.

Take the kink and roleplay aside. I would treat my trans/nonbinary partner the same way I would do a cis woman. I am not someone who wants hook ups, I'm looking for a kinky bdsm Dom gf (maybe poly??). Whether she's trans or not, we would go on dates, I would buy her gifts, kiss & cuddle with her. We would get all dressed up together just for fun. I want to learn her interests and hobbies. I would do everything in my power to make her feel gender euphoric!

I am a lover! There will be a time and place for sensual kinks and bdsm. But I need parts away from it or a dynamic where the dom/sub relationship isn't just sexual. It goes beyond that.

I hate fetishists who fetishize real people. As a fat chick, I've been in very toxic relationships with chubby chasers. All they care about was my fatness and wanted to make me bloated with food. I know what it's like to be seem just as a sex object, and I hate it. I would never ever want to do that on someone else.

Trans people are people! We are human, all of us (except people who don't want to be human). We all have emotions and feelings. Regardless of your sexual or gender identity. I never understood how someone, especially Cis LGBTQ+ people, could be transphobic. Trans people are the reason I, as a cis lesbian have so many rights. The lgbtq+ community would not be this far without them. I will always appreciate you all for that.

Sorry for the long rant, I just wanted to make this clear! Thank you again, cutie, for the anon.

[16-puppies]

I don’t really have the energy right now to argue any more than I will in this post as to why I don’t really like the phrase but since im ‘traumagenic’ I just want to say beforehand that personally, it just makes me uncomfortable. It’s not necessarily about what it represents, but it’s the wording and what it could theoretically imply, just going off of wording alone. Obviously, since my system comes from trauma, I’m biased towards that viewpoint but I do understand that plurality isn’t limited to what I experience. It’s just hard to shake the idea that plurality can be something purely positive since that’s just not what I experience. That’s my own problem though, I suppose.

I do understand where you’re coming from in some of these points and after reading it I do get what you’re trying to say and accomplish here, although I have an additional interpretation. It’s like the lefthandedness chart to me, plural acceptance will lead to more people realizing they are plural. And that’s a good thing, yes! But I need you and everyone else using the phrase to understand that at first glance it really doesn’t come off like what you’re describing or even what I just described, and it seems like many of the people who are in favor of it aren’t interpreting it the way you see it either. I’ve seen many posts about it claiming that it *doesnt* imply there will be more plurals, in an effort to look better to traumagenic systems like myself who aren’t completely on board with the phrase. I also don’t appreciate how traumagenic systems who take even the slightest offense to it are being treated by the ones in favor of it just because the phrase bears resemblance to other phrases calling for acceptance like “the future is trans” — i feel like it’s obvious that when including systems who are formed from trauma the community should be receptive of their concerns since this is a very sensitive topic, and yet I’ve seen far too many people compare traumagenic systems to angry transphobes who are “traumatized” by the “woke left” just because they don’t want their very Real trauma seemingly paraded around like some award, even if you and others claim that’s not what’s happening.

Overall I think the phrase could have used some workshopping to avoid confusion , or the usage of the phrase should have been completely defined from the start so that confused and concerned onlookers have easy access to a post that explains what the movement is about in depth rather than tacking important info on to my random post lazily complaining about syscourse (/lighthearted) Obviously you can’t control all your followers or supporters of the phrase, but maybe if it was handled differently there would have been less assumptions about it? Either way, I think it’s well within the right of traumagenic systems to dislike the wording regardless of what it represents. You can’t force everyone to like it, even if it is meant to represent a good idea.

Again, I want to reiterate that I get where you’re coming from with this and I would love for plural acceptance too obviously, but I think it should have been handled differently because the feelings of traumagenic systems are important too.

(I won’t be responding to this any further, the original post was just meant to be a jokey thing anyways.)

i love seeing system positivity posts because it makes me feel less Fake about it but god i hate all the discourse. why is tumblr just discourse. Everyone explode NOW

also why is plural tumblr so bad at wording things. “guys nooooo ‘the future is plural’ is about acceptance of plurality!!1!1!” okay but. surely you see what it sounds like right. Surely you do. Why are you defending the worst slogan i’ve ever heard This hard. ‘the future is singlet’ doesn’t sound right either. Can we all just kill ourselves /ref

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

[uncanny-tranny]

I think another aspect of conservative thought people need to understand is the idea that it's all about dominance.

The reason why sayings like "we don't want to trans your kids, we want trans kids to live" is because, in the conservative mind, you are replacing their dominance with your own. It can never be about what is best for others, it is always about expressing absolute power and control.

Natural selection, at its ideal, will weed out the people who "shouldn't live." If their existence is a threat to the already-established hierarchy, then it's obvious that they shouldn't exist in order to challenge hierarchy.

While this certainly isn't a "conservative-only" mindset, it's a trend I have noticed more in conservative spaces. This is why I don't always think it's helpful to go on about how, "Oh, we don't want to threaten your worldview. We just want people to live 😊". You will fundamentally be threatening their power in their minds. Therefore, nothing you say can truly take away from the anxiety, fear, and anger at losing control that may be instilled.

[fierceawakening]

And yeah I think you’re spot on about the trans rights thing. When I’ve tried to engage people who are scared, the response is “men are men and women are women,” which just baffles me. What evidence do they have that people are happier not being allowed to change their gender role, whether or not surgery is involved? Even leaving aside transness, what about some women are masculine and some men are feminine? Why is even that canceled out by men are men and women are women? No clear argument posed.

If you ask that, they might say gender dysphoria is “a mental illness” but cite no evidence of this at all, not even that it used to be deemed one and older scientists had the right idea because XYZ. Or say you shouldn’t play into a person’s “delusions,” but have no clear reason why gender identity is a delusion or how it does or doesn’t resemble other delusions that we far more commonly see, like delusions of reference or paranoia.

Like, if it was “one detransitioner is one detransitioner too many, and there’s clearly more than one,” I’d disagree based on my own beliefs about the dignity of risk.

But I wouldn’t think worrying about that is utter nonsense the way I think “wanting to transition is a delusion even though it works very differently from most other known delusions and I can’t give a reason why that difference doesn’t matter and it still counts as a delusion” is.

How are so many people convinced of this with basically no evidence at all?

What do conservatives actually think "woke" means?

Like, the only time I've ever heard anyone use it correctly was an anti-Trump rally prior to 2020, where Maxine Waters ended a speech with "And to all my millenials: Stay woke!"

Every other use I can remember has either been conservatives panicking about brainwashing or leftists cracking wise because we're not brainwashed.

(I know and many of us know that it was a political term from black activism, but I doubt the conservatives who fear it do.)

[tinystepsforward]

algerian trans women arent able to compete in women sports at all, but yeah its makes no sense to call khelif tme. youre so fucking smart.

(this is a response to this post) i see you don't believe that i'm quoting one of the trans women in my life about that, which is your prerogative. it's also your right to miss my point entirely both about the ways this alienates intersex people and about the rigidity of a binary that comes down to the same shrinking circles terfs draw when they try to quantify what a woman is (speak up for women, the most organised nz group, have now submitted on the human rights act suggesting that all babies be karyotyped at birth and the results be public, bc they can't establish any other definition they agree on. absolutely fucking nobody, not even their christian or conspiracist allies, agrees with them on this one.)

but you don't have to take my word for it! when i was at that consultation with the nz law commission, i was in a room with many other intersex and trans people, including trans athletes and trans women like lexie matheson who consult on trans inclusion in sports at a high national level. i don't think there's a single person in that room who did not name what was happening to khelif as we spoke as transmisogyny, who did not speak of her as part of a group with whom we all shared something.

at the end of the day, prison abolition informs all of my politics. i believe that we must look clearly and carefully at harm and distinguish it from discomfort or disagreement, and identify its structural sources and true perpetrators. i believe that to build a better future we must be capable of imagining one. i believe that we can build a world where suffering is not the metric by which we determine value or punishment or righteousness. i believe that we can build a world where we centre and uplift those who are most hurt, in every arena — black and brown trans women, here; in some of my other work, it's incarcerated intellectually disabled people, or asian migrant sex workers affected by section 19, the list goes on — without then pitting them against other people who share some of the same story and will benefit from the same deconstruction of the systems that hold them down. i believe we can build a world in which asab doesn't affect so much of your life by beginning that work now.

there's a politics of scarcity — you have it better than me, so we have nothing in common. i saw it all the time in brothels, the idea that the new girl is taking money out of your kids' mouths. the viciousness with which people who are struggling are so ready to abandon solidarity. is it so hard to demand better for everyone? to think less about the ways we're alone and more about the ways we're together?

maybe it is. i know that well enough as a prison abolitionist. people get scared. they swing at shadows, they swing at anyone who seems to be suffering less, they — we, i should say, i am certainly not immune — get blindingly jealous of people who seem to have it easier. that's grief! that's grief for the easier life that we deserve. and we get to mourn, and take that time to feel it, and then we can choose if we want to keep working hand in hand with each other toward a world where that grief is dwarfed by the promise of the future.