#toxic tendencies

[queerlilchinchin]

Trigger warning: rape mention

I was thinking about some of my past [adult] relationships and how I just realized it's been a really long time since I've dated a guy I didn't live with like immediately into dating.

Being in a relationship and not moving in like right away is almost new territory for me... and it made me realize that I never really took the time to sit down and think about my patterns in my relationships that might be fueling my more toxic traits (like being overly clingy, not being able to let certain kinds of things go, etc)... and... so I decided to just sit down and list my adult relationships to myself and the major points of each one.

And I'm realizing... like... yeah, I have certain patterns that show up especially in my later relationships, after I got relationship trauma (more specifically after the ex that tried to force himself on me)...

It's... eye opening. I recommend that anyone that has toxic traits they want to rid themselves of in any kind of relationship, not just romantic, to do this because wow does it open your eyes, especially when you realize there was a specific point in which you started having these traits.

[sweetdarling27]

Is my love suffocating you?

Am I too clingy? Too needy?

Am I annoying you?

Asking for too much of your time?

Too fucking bad

[idolizesuicide]

𝓘m going to break you into everything i desire.

𝓨ou're my doll, my toy. You would look so pretty with a knife to your throat. ⸺ 🔪

[krashlite]

Millie Warm the Kettle,,,

i thought too hard abt bigb's POV and how in both 3L and DL he's caught between two alliances- one with grian and one with ren

something something damned if he does, damned if he doesn't

Edit bc this is getting a bit of traction again! I recently remaaadeee this onneeee if anyone’s curious abt the lil remaster I did,,

[fate-of-the-envious]

How is canon Annabeth abusive?

You want a list?

Alright!

1. She constantly hits Percy. Kicking him in the shins, elbowing him in the ribs, punching him in the gut. Not to mention the judo flip scene. Also, this is never said to be done playfully whatsoever. And it's done constantly in EVERY book.

2. She always belittles and calls him stupid. Like his plans never work. Ha, they work more than hers! Also, the parallels of her calling him Seaweed Brain, when Gabe called him Brain Boy! Like how would you feel if you have a nickname constantly degrading your worst insecurities?! All the damn time! Not to mention Thalia, who Percy was the first person who helped her after she stopped being a tree, after spending the school year with Annabeth started calling Percy Kelp Head and viewing him as dumb. Annabeth who ignored Percy all this year, and was overall just selfish and mean when they met again.

3. Annabeth is so possessive of Percy. Even before they are dating (which doesn't make it any better when they are), Annabeth doesn't let Percy be friends with Rachel. Trying to drive a wedge between the two. And Percy, literally only has Grover and Annabeth for friends. He is so alone, he needs more friends! Oh, and then with Jason she interrupts the two of them chatting and trying to get along. Also, just how she doesn't like that Percy seems to like Camp Jupiter, like he can't seem to have his own differing plans from her.

4. Tartarus. Everything about that was so bad. Like in Tartarus, whom Percy fell down to FOR HER, Annabeth brings up Rachel because in her thoughts, she needs to keep her boyfriend on his toes. Like bitch! Then, we get to how she thinks Percy is so manipulative when he talks his way to get Bob to kill his brother. Like that isn't Annabeth's number 1 tactic. She's so fucking judgemental!

And then the scene with Akhlys in Tartarus. Where yes, Percy is being scary torturing this goddess who tried to poison them to death. But she just tried to kill them! He's saving their lives! And then, Annabeth makes Percy promise her to never use those powers again, because "Somethings aren't meant to be controlled." Like do you know how useful poison-bending could be to save lives? What difference does this make from using a sword to kill monsters when all of them are trying to kill and/or eat Demigods! Not to mention, if someone is poisoned, Percy could help heal them!

Next, because of how horrible Annabeth made Percy feel for using these powers he attempts suicide. After he gets out and faces Polybotes, who controls poison, he doesn't even try to save himself and says to Jason that he deserves to die by poison for what he did! He tried to kill himself! And Annabeth never talks to Percy about this again, and instead talks to Piper who thinks Percy needs to be restrained like he's some kind of monster when he was saving them! Percy is literally the most selfless and kind person out there. And Annabeth treats him like crap! She doesn't deserve him!

5. Percy isn't allowed to have bad thoughts on Luke. Luke, who's tried to kill him repeatedly since he was twelve! And in general, this ship is so toxic and codependent right now, it's in no way healthy.

Anyways sorry for my rant, but yeah Annabeth is abusive, and it's just so concerning how people possibly in elementary school are being exposed to this being a healthy relationship, where girlfriends can hit their boyfriends, and can stop them making friends with others, because they belong to them like some sort of object.

Yeah, I just relate to Percy so much, and I don't want him to deal with another Gabe.

Edit: Okay, for anyone who likes Annabeth or Percabeth, I don't care - you do you. You can like and dislike all the characters and ships you want, just as I can. So, if you disagree with what is said, that's fine, but don't expect me to change my stance when I have already pointed out several concerning behaviors. So, like good humans, we'll just have to agree to disagree and move on with our days.

[deunmiu-dessie]

you’ve done it again, but i must ask… does ahn’thu get reader her cat back? (that stayed on my mind even while getting plowed by an alien lmao)

♡♡𝆬 nonnie! my dove! hehe--- i like to believe he does. ahn'thu is quite literally wrapped around your finger whether you believe it or not. the two of you stay in the clearing for a week or so and when ahn'thu tells you it's time to leave, you have to throw a fit. ૮₍´˶• . • ⑅ ₎ა ₊˚⊹♡🫧— 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑒

"we need to go back and get mr. cuddles. i'm not leaving earth without him." ˙◠˙

ahn'thu expresses his agitation through trills as you turn away from him, crossing your arms and pouting with puffed cheeks.

despite your attempt to give him the silent treatment, it doesn't have the desired effect. ♡

it's only when you stop eating that he finally gives in, understanding the depth of your attachment to your beloved cat. (it's easy to find mr. cuddles as he's splayed out on your destroyed couch.)

and you're absolutely ecstatic, jumping into his arms and nuzzling your face into his chest when he comes back to the ship with your black and white tabby cat. ˙ᵕ˙

you're undeterred by his claims of finding the cat annoying, and his cute little grumbles as you kiss all over his face. ( he loves it )

especially when mr. cuddles curls up in ahn'thu's arms, purring in contentment.

[unicoo]

Viserys neglecting his children is OKAY, but Aegon & Alicent doing it ISNT OKAY?…

Rhaenyra sleeping with a man who isn’t her husband AND having said man’s children is OKAY, but Alicent sleeping with Criston AFTER Viserys DIES ISNT OKAY?….

Rhaenyra & Daemon hooking up at Laena’s funeral is OKAY, but Aemond claiming Vhagar at Laena’s funeral ISNT OKAY?…..

Jace possibly cheating on Baela with Sara or Cregan is OKAY, but Aegon stepping out on Helaena ISNT OKAY?……

Daemon planning & plotting against literally ANYONE is OKAY, but Alicent, Criston, Otto, & Aemond plotting & planning ISNT OKAY?…….

Rhaenyra defending her sons & demanding Aemond be sharply questioned is OKAY, but Alicent wanting Justice for her son & an eye for an eye ISNT OKAY?……..

Baela & Rhaena being passed over for their BIRTHRIGHT is OKAY, but when it’s Rhaenyra who’s cheated out of her “birthright” it ISNT OKAY?………

Rhaenyra acts entitled & spoiled it’s OKAY, but let the Green kids act entitled & spoiled it ISNT OKAY?……….

Daemon pays to take young girls maidenhoods (most of them brothel workers who were TEENAGERS) it’s OKAY, but Aegon does it and it ISNT OKAY?………..

Daemon orders the death of a child & it’s OKAY, it’s JUSTIFIED, but Aemond takes RIGHTFUL REVENGE against a boy OLD ENOUGH TO FIGHT BACK and it ISNT OKAY?…………(idgaf what you say if someone bullied you then jumped you then took your eye & got away with it YOU’D BE PISSEED TO LIE & SAY YOU WOULDNT 😐)

Rhaenyra having “bastards” is OKAY, but Aegon & Aemond having bastards ISNT OKAY?………….

Daemon can allow for women & children to be hurt in all ways imaginable that’s OKAY, but Aemond taking ONE woman as a spoiled of war ISNT OKAY?……….…. (If Alys wanted to she could’ve ended up in various different positions yk being a WITCH & all)

Rhaenyra can lose nearly all her children & get compassion that’s OKAY, but giving Aegon & Helaena compassion over their son dying when he literally DIDNT DO SHIT ISNT OKAY??…………...

Visenya dies, being sad about that is OKAY, but being sad about Jaehaera’s death ISNT OKAY?………….…

Rhaenyra being a shit to children is OKAY, but Alicent being a shit to children ISNT OKAY?……….…….

Luke & Jace bullying Aemond is OKAY because they were younger, but AEGON bullying Aemond ISNT OKAY, because…?………………………….…

Because y’all are hypocrites! The whole point of this post is to showcase just how hypocritical the toxic fans (mostly team black) are. Rhaenyra & her side do it, all is fine & it doesn’t matter. Aegon & his side do it and there’s an uproar, they’re evil & deserve horribleness. Give me a fucking break honestly 🙄

If you see this tragedy and decide to make it worse by picking sides or not giving empathy, sympathy, & understanding to both sides then you need to grow tf up, mature A LOT, then look at the media again because somewhere along the way you missed the importance of this story and OUR WORLD is shitter for that!

[transmascutena]

something that's so important to me is that by the third arc utena and anthy are just genuinely good friends. like obviously the whole rose bride/engaged thing is still there, and anthy is still keeping horrible secrets, and they will continue to hurt each other, but . despite all that they do genuinely just care about each other and like being together. anthy is opening up in ways her role definitely doesn't require her to, and she's even acting directly against it for utena's sake at times. and utena has always believed the rose bride thing is stupid and shouldn't get in the way of their friendship, but she has learned how serious it is and to not accidentally order anthy around and stuff. and when they go to sleep together and hold hands and talk about things, it's like all of that disappears for a moment and they can just be two girls in love.

[twofacedyan]

I am everything you need, dear. I am the missing puzzle piece; to your heart.

I am the only one who actually understands you. I am the only one who can give YOU what you NEED.

[yeonsseu]

modern au doodle with cazador and astarion…😀

[anghraine]

I've been moving and navigating further departmental nonsense etc (my pseudo-dissertation got approved for defending, though! l o l). But it was interesting to see the Worst P&P Takes poll I reblogged accumulating more results and the general tenor of responses in the notes.

I mean, the results are definitely to be expected if you're familiar with the side of Austen fandom doing a lot of the reblogging etc. But still, interesting!

Many Tumblr polls specify that they're asking about personal preferences that may be irrational—favorite/least favorite, coolest/most annoying, or something like that. This one, though, asked for the worst interpretation of P&P, not the most annoying one—and the current leader is "Darcy is never really proud, he's just shy and probably has anxiety" against some very steep competition on the Bad Takes front.

I was thinking about why that seemed a kind of tediously predictable choice even though I agree that the take is wrong, and realized that while I do disagree with the shy Darcy interpretation and I particularly disagree with the specific formulation where he is never proud at all, it ultimately feels to me like a failure of nuance rather than just completely wrongheaded like some of the others. And this is probably my fundamental difference with a lot of Darcy takes I see!

In my opinion, a character who is introverted and who feels awkward in various social situations and who doesn't like common social activities and who has to work himself up to talking to his crush and who is repeatedly suggested to behave very differently in contexts where he's more comfortable being interpreted as shy and anxious is not that big of a leap.

Yes, it's important that he is actually fundamentally confident and haughty, that he makes his personal feelings of discomfort other people's problem, and that he thinks he's such a unique and special butterfly that he doesn't need to even put in an effort outside his personal social circle. But it's a misreading that is easy to follow (and long predates the 2005 P&P, as I've mentioned before!).

The additional misreading that a shy and anxious Darcy is also never proud at all is a much more drastic leap, and in my experience, condemnations of shy Darcy interpretations rarely differentiate between "Darcy is shy as well as arrogant" and "Darcy is shy rather than arrogant" as interpretations (although their basic arguments are quite different). But even that as the worst possible misreading of P&P when Darcy is not even the main character is ?????????

I mean, for one alternative (not even the one I voted for!), the idea that Elizabeth is an author avatar Mary Sue seems a far worse misreading of P&P than basically anything to do with Darcy at all. The center piece of the entire novel is Elizabeth's epiphany of self-knowledge about her own shortcomings that do not particularly resemble Austen's at all, but were ethically a concern for her, and she's a complex, interesting character in general whom Austen correctly regarded as a major achievement. Inverting that into Elizabeth as an improbably perfect, reality-warping self-insert is deeply wrong and frankly pretty misogynistic as well.

(ngl though, it's a little funny to see such a blatantly terrible reading of Elizabeth rank so far behind the shy Darcy votes. I've gotten "does anyone actually think/say that?" so many times on my posts about Austen fandom's prioritization of Darcy's character development over Elizabeth's and yet...)

And even just going with the Darcy-centric misreadings, the idea of Darcy as a "bad boy" seems easily the most absolutely wrong take on him. His pride is at least complicated and the finer points can be fairly debated and it's a quality that actually changes somewhat throughout the novel, and you can have discussion over what happened when, whose testimonies should be weighted more, etc. But there is no point at which "bad boy" isn't utterly wrong for him. However, there's definitely a tendency in some wings of the fandom to find the idea of Darcy being misread too favorably more objectionable than him being read too unfavorably, regardless of the particulars, so it's not a surprise.

I suppose you could argue about what "worst" means in the context of variously bad interpretations. Like, is an interpretation that is about a fairly trivial aspect of the book but extremely wrong about it "worse" than an interpretation that is pretty bad but at least comprehensibly so about something very important?

[gutcollar]

Your blood is my favorite shade of red. My favorite color. I want to know the exact hex code for it, so i can paint my walls red, your red. ♡

Or maybe I'll gut you, and use your blood as paint. Hm... What do you think, doll?

[idontmindifuforgetme]

Unreal that my birthday is in exactly 7 days. The time is not passing through my fingers like quicksand but in fact DISINTEGRATING from my hands every time I try to grab at it

[idolizesuicide]

𝓚inda a rant. . But i am SOOOO tired of people on yanblr, who claim to be a yandere, but go on judging other yanderes.

𝓛ike why are you judging yans who tell their beloveds to block friends, yans who log into their beloveds, or just yans being somewhat more extreme than others???

𝓛ike now I'm curious to see what YOU as a yandere do for your beloveds. . Like I'm so tired of yanblr and it's criticism and judging. At this point, pack it up and stop referring yourself as a yan. 💔💔.

𝓘 WILL continue my extreme yan ways, i don't care if it's ' too ' extreme. . Like??? What do you think a yandere IS. 😭.

[tobisiksi]

tw: suicide mention-emotional maipulation

I refuse to believe that kusuo never tried to lose on purpose in one of kusukes games

a lot of people say that he probably was too egocentric to lose but man, ku gives up on things without thinking twice just for the sake of the others

just like when he gave up on satou when he and hii got together (the only example I can come with rn but there is a lot more)

and don't get me wrong, kusuo IS egocentric, but he knows where to trace a line he has a moral code and the principal rule is "don't be an inconvenience to the others"

so there is no way he didn't tried before

kusuke saw through his facade?

kusuke is insane and a masoquist and he has some suicidal behaviour aaand

I can see him telling kusuo to never try to fake a lost again or else he will off himself

idk he just yk, he's emotionally abusive and he's too obsessed with the idea of kusuo and him playing deathly games

TOO obsessed

he even took himself as hostage and he also kidnapped and brainwashed one of his brothers friends

he would say something like that

but I also believe that he wasn't aware of the heigh of those words

(I believe that he isn't aware of the heigh of all his actions, he just have a really twisted view of what is wrong and right)

I see this kind of scenario happening when they were young, when kusuo stopped copying his older brother (the motorcycle, the little cardboard robot, rock papper scissors, guys he was copying his older brother cuz he thought he was cool) and started to feel some resentment or even pity towards him

kusuke wouldn't take pityness very well, resentment? dont care, being hated? kay whatever but feeling any form of empathy or pity?????

it makes him sick

so he would say something like that but the thing is that he sees his brother as a God who is superior to every other living being

so he thinks that it isn't a big deal because his God had more important things to take care of

wrooooong, your God it's your baby bro who is just a child who used to admire you a lot before you started to get more and more insane progressively and the thing you just said it's fucking up his head because the love and hate he has for you were the strongest feelings his baby brain could feel and now he cannot come up with a way to make you stop envying or feeling resentful cuz of his powers (that he did not choose to born with in the first place) without making you have a meltdown that will end up with you killing yourself

[impishtubist]

The blog that brought you Slightly Homophobic James Potter and Prongsfoot Infidelity now brings you:

Toxic Masculinity and Slighty Misogynistic Sirius Black