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bhaalsdeepbat · 5 months

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i literally walked into this space knowing NO ONE, sat off to the side and told them, "I'm sorry, I'm like a cat. I have to just watch for a second, then I'll socialize more." and like. the entire group was just like YEAH MAKES SENSE. no one took it wrong. they just let me observe until i was ready to mesh in more. and now almost two years later I am now burrowed so deeply into this troupe that i wouldn't have the friends or opportunities i have without it.

#bat rambles #sometimes you just have to dive head first into shit and hope for the best #and like not to sound Vain or Full of Myself #but i know it helps that people think i'm really fucking cute so any weird or like #unhinged / fucking FERAL behavior they're just like #omg bat you're SO cute n quirky #like it's the curse of the manic pixie dream girl but like #in a space where they know i'm ND and they all like #have vast network of friends who AREN'T neurotypical #and also where most of them are queer #i don't feel like it's in a MPDG type way #it very much feels “yeah bat just does that sometimes” kind of way but they like #find all of it endearing #and i know that bc they know my OCD is really bad #we went thrifting two days ago and my two friends i went with dug through the bins for me #so i didn't have to touch anything #and if i pointed at something they'd dig it out and hold it up #no complaints they just were like yeah bat has OCD #in fact one of them was like YEAH I FEEL LIKE SUCH A BUTCH RN #i was in the most cottagecore lesbian outfit in the world and was like #yeah babe and i'm your lil lipstick lesbian who would rather kill themself than #touch that thing ur holding #but yeah throw it in the cart i think it'll fit my other girlfriend or their girlfriend

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baeshijima · 5 days

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when you have a crisis over whether or not a kiss scene is needed to make the yearning and reunion and pent up emotions that much more meaningful or if it is better to have them commit small fleeting touches and nuzzles and trembling eyes and

#sophie talks : as fate would have it #this is about the soulmate!blade fic btw bc i am so committed to writing it and it NEEDS to be written after all this time #4.5k words in and im not halfway through.... head in hands let me free....#anyway i am leaning towards the latter bc !! blade being so reluctant to hold u again in fear of hurting u bc despite everything he has #gone through u are still the one thing he holds dear and if he were to hurt u in any way shape or form he might just lose his waning tether #to his fleeting sanity and so him eventually easing into ur touch and holding ur palm against his cheek and just drinking in ur warmth #and the sight of u after so so long and this ache in his cold heart is so painfully treacherous but he wouldnt have it any other way and #ourgh.... i love blade of honkai star rail so much if you couldnt tell like genuinely one of my most beloved characters #this is also why i have so many wips for him 🧍‍♀️#ANYWHO back to crying over my doc after crying over beefleaf again :'D

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trainerethan · 12 days

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I see in my mind's eyes green and red having some conflict early on because red really likes physical closeness and touch but green has a lot of compulsions/intrusive thoughts about being clean/cross contamination. Which unfortunately are usually a little valid when it comes to red considering reds complete lack of concern for those things. At least as children.

#when theyre older red understands and makes sure to wash his hands before getting all touchy #but ik as kids hed go from playing in rhe dirt to immediately trying to hold greens hand and green is aghast #greens ass was not camping on his championship journey #prize money spent on hotels. i know it.#green js akso accomidating in her own way thkugu. when they were young he hated how close red would get and would shove him away sometimes #but now she has more control over the whole “my brain is tellijg me everythng is dirty” thing and he can indulge in some giving of affection #cbt can save green. and love. both can save her #she went through a lot emotionally when she initially realized red lived on a mountain with no running water #i like to think they hugged anyways after talking. even if green did feel a little insane after when he realized #how long it had been since red last showered properly. its fine.#tfw ur navigatikg the complicated friendship turned rivlary turned “im goikg to live on a mountain” turned friendhsip ahain #but also both copimg a liyyle cause ome of u has been touch starved for the last 5+ years and the other js fighting autism demons #reguri #i hsge so many thoughts.

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clerichs-xi · 9 months

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tender as a bruise, sharper than a razor wrap her tentacles around me like she'll never let me go

klaus' backstory arc just ended heho and it was revealed he used to be the lover of the goddess of storms and pirates... she had basically kidnapped him and imprisoned him into murder and piracy for 20 years and needless to say it greatly damaged him on every level <3 its okay he's been able to be normal for once since the start of the campaign thanks to the party aka his new found family

get urself a surrogate middle-aged father who can speedrun a forbidden romance in one minute and then immediately go to confront the darkest version/a corrupted version of himself, as well as his toxic lover as she tortures him -w-)b

details and just the lines hehe

#clerichs.png #my artwork #original character #original art #original illustration #digital art #digital painting #digital illustration #dnd character #oc #oc illustration #im so unnormal about him.#he got hurt soo badly in isolation... thats where all the scars in his ref came from </3 #this portrait is of the one scar his goddess did not give him.... </3 #tfw ur jealous sea goddess lover pits you against other pirates and sea monsters to fight for ur life and test ur devotion #and she promised to love you wholly only for u to realize she doesn't understand or know what love is #and only wanted it bc everyone else who had love seemed so happy and she wanted that too #so after she destroyed everything you loved (literally your entire world) she merely treats u as a possession for 20 years #and you don't know how to ask for love because you don't know how to love either so you resent her and everything and everyone #leading rage to build up within you and you willfully slaughtering so many things because you cant handle your emotions and pain #and after deflating and sinking into apathy a rogue priest manages to break ur exterior and touch you deeply enough to let you love again #and because of him you're able to begin breaking free of everything and you lose everything again but this time #this time you wake up in a crate of fish to outstretched hands and people who love you as family even after learning who you are/were #filling you with strength and willpower even as your goddess lover comes back swearing she loved you and loves you still #and she tortures you and threatens to take everything away again if you don't come back to her but because of your love for everyone #and their love for you youre able to hold fast long enough for them to break you out #his goddess made a copy of him by warping the body and soul of a naive young man in an attempt to replace him and fill the hole in her hear #he had to literally kill the darkest version of himself that hurt everyone and he laid him to rest... catharsis if ive ever seen it #as i said. im so normal about him <3 the guy i project onto the most ever #klaus lierstark

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comfycozycrossfox · 3 months

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it's literally crazy to me how much people think they're the exception to any given rule. like the amount of entitlement you see working with customers is insane.

me, explaining rules at my workplace: no purse, backpacks, or bags of any kind, no exceptions

this 50 y/o karen dumbass, clearly holding a pretty sizeable purse: what about this?

me: ...no exceptions

karen: ok but what about this

our "no bags no exceptions" rule raises a lot of questions that are already answered by our "no bags no exceptions" rule

#its not for a medical thing. like we know its not #if someone goes 'oh but i have an inhaler/otherwise medical thing' we go 'either keep it in a pocket or put it in one of these bags for us'#thats fine we CAN work around that just a little #but clearly its not #no you dont need your chapstick in the cave.#you don't need your pens. you don't need your lipstick to touch up.#im gonna hold ur hand when i say this: you are not special #the rules are in place for a reason and you arent gods specialist little princess #that and 'what about my fanny pack' are you under the impression that a fanny pack ✨is not a bag✨#how do you get to your big age and have the mindset 'no exceptions? well surely im the exception' like hello

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ratcandy · 17 days

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i keep forgetting what's considered like... Common knowledge of bugs. Frequently I am shocked by someone not knowing what a larval ladybug looks like because I grew up with those so clearly everyone should know what a larval ladybug looks like. But people Don't. and that's crazy. what does the general public know about bugs. idk anymore

#this post was spurred on by someone not knowing that you generally shouldn't touch fuzzy caterpillars #...and sent a picture to a gc in which they were holding a fuzzy caterpillar . causing the rest of the (bug people centric) chat to go 😨#and i'm just thinking. Do people not know this ? is this something most people aren't aware of? ur telling me most people don't know about #flannel moth caterpillars ? you guys didn't have to be wary of these things growing up? that's wild #what does the average not-bug-inclined person know about bugs. i don't know.#clamtalk #bugposting #i am talkative lately i apologize. ur getting all my thoughts. i have much to say. etc.

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piplupod · 3 months

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sometimes i think maybe it's a good thing i'm so traumatized and fucked up mentally and emotionally bc then i never expect ppl to be kind or even just plain old nice to me, so when they ARE kind or nice i feel overwhelming gratitude and almost a sense of awe HFDSJKL like... i dont know if i would have had this appreciation for each little piece of kindness if i wasn't the way that i am. but also i know thats kind of an absolutely wild way of thinking about this LMAO

#but then on the other side of things i still get really hurt when ppl are cruel or just the usual flavour of mean #like i had a mother with a stroller get huffy and aggressive w me yesterday as i was getting off the bus and that rly stuck w me #idk what else i could've done in that situation except control my tone a little better maybe but i was really anxious #because her stroller was in the way of the aisle and i was trying to figure out the fastest way to navigate around it to exit #bc the bus drivers are always in a hurry so i didnt want to keep anybody waiting while i got around her stroller #so i just said ''sorry i just need to get by'' and i think my tone was not Perfectly Pleasant bc i was really anxious and unsure #but i meant it as a ''sorry if i touch ur stroller as i squeeze past'' dsjfkl i didnt mean it like ''u need to move ur shit for me''#alas. i think she took it as the latter. also im pretty sure she was on edge already bc she knew her stroller would be in the way #anyways i said that and she did the thing where ppl throw up their hands in a really quick defensive/aggressive half-shrug gesture #where they're gesturing like ''what the fuck !!! what are you doing !!!'' idk how common that gesture is dsjkl i see it a lot around town #and i just quickly squeezed past her stroller and tried not to touch it as little as i could and then said thank you and scuttled away #BUT IT REALLY BOTHERED ME THAT SHE GOT SO HUFFY ABOUT IT. i've been trying to figure out what i could've done differently #unfortunately i think its just one of those things where we were BOTH anxious or on edge so she was just assuming i was being aggressive #bc she probably expected ppl to be rude about her stroller so... when u expect that it'll colour ur perceptions of ppls behaviours #so i am not even upset w her at all fsdjkl i simply wish it had gone better. alas!! what a silly little encounter to be ruminating over #ANYHOWDY... I am glad that i can have such appreciation for kindness when it happens fdsjkdl #like i had a little snippet of small talk about bananas with a stranger in the grocery store last year and i still think about it happily #bc idk. it means so much to me. making little connections w ppl! its very very important to me bc i dont get it very often!#and theres some kind things ppl have said to me online that have stuck with me or will stick with me for honest-to-god years fdsjkl #and perhaps i am a sap but ... I'm just glad i can hold these small bits of goodness so close to my heart bc it makes life a little nicer #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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ratgingi · 1 year

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woe characters inspired by some of my cats be upon ye. info on them in my tags lol

#dialtown oc #jack dlc #twerpys head is a sledgehammer bc the cat theyre based on was born in a wall lmao #he works at the petstore with outis bc i got said cat frm the local petstore #lilys head is a fluffy couch pillow thing and she works at an animal shelter bc thats where i got the cat shes based on #twerpy is genderfluid bc we make jokes that my cat twerpy is genderfluid a lot #also i feel like shed be aroace if she were a person. its just the vibes yk #lily isnt labeled as anything shes just vibin #the 2 are part of a big sorta found family type shit that consists of chars based on my other 3 cats i just didnt feel like drawin more rn #twerpy is really mean and stuck up but is secretly super sweet it just takes them a long time to warm up enough to someone n show it #shes also secretly incredible at like. comforting people and helping them out. but again only shows it for people hes warmed up enough to #lily is super confident and full of herself and spoiled. she thinks shes super fuckin smart but she is very much Not /lh #she loves attention though and gets her feelings hurt super easy #also shes Huge on physical affection. she loves giving people hugs and holding hands and shit #like. shell be like oh im so fuckin hot and cool literally no ones on my level and of ur like eh idk that fit isnt really that good on u #she will start Crying. and get mad that youre being mean to her for no reason while sobbing #and probably will hug onto you while doing it #twerpy also gives really good hugs but they Hate being touched. so if it willingly touches you then youre incredibly lucky special #also lily loves sitting in peoples laps #if youre friends with her she is far more likely to sit on your lap instead of any chair in the room nd thats just smth youll have 2 deal w #dlc wiki

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tamagotchikgs · 3 months

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last night i was poking around in my mouth as u do and i reached back where i had always felt this hard thing w my tongue for awhile now but was like ah maybe it's just like. my gums being inflamed in the back or smthn BUT,, no i poked that thing with my fingernail n it is a tooth that is a whole ass wisdom tooth

#NO WONDER... MY JAW IS IN PAIN ALMOST ALL THE TIME.... HUH..#i wonder if that period where i literally couldnt move my jaw from the pain for like a week was when it was emerging #otherwise the pain is like not awful. not bad enough it's noticeable u know im used to it i have so many aches n pains in my body naturally #like my entire head has a constant ache. if u touch my cheekbones ill drop my head like a cat into ur hand dude it is .#it's like the most relieving ache . like u have just lifted a massive weight off my shoulders. and it's been that way since i was a kid #i think i googled if thats what it was before n they were like no if it were your wisdom tooth youd know :) it would hurt u so bad #which i despise btw because this means nothing to me BHJAH.... like they said the same thing when i broke my foot the nurse that did intake #i was a kid & she was like dont worry if it were broken youd know and you wouldnt have walked in here on it ... fellas . it was broken #& i could never see anything when i looked in the mirror #but it's just because it's slightly covered by like swollen gums back there which i always thought was just because i chewed too hard #but.#no i guess it;s because something was erupting like an alien #i used my lil pokey tool to squish em out of the way and i can see it #it's so weird just having a tooth u know u shouldnt #like i . i want to just grab it i want to just hold it in my hand #why does it have to be so securely in place whihc is something i wouldnt never say for my other teeth HJBA #i am not going 2 have it removed any time soon im .#i have wanted to go to the dentist my whole life but i am too scared #esp w the damage from my ed and depression im so embarrassed #i honestly want to though #there is nothing that would make me feel more like an actual person then to just. get a cleaning #get my maintenance done LMAO #i do my best at home but u kno #i use an electric spinning toothbrush i floss i use mouthwash i do it all 2 try n handle what damage there already is #but it still would do wonders for my mental health and oral health #apparently partial impactions which is what i have can be really bad n get infected so . aha...h. 👍:).. ..h.

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milflewis · 2 years

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The way Lewis and Bono are just looking at each other all soft eyes and fond smiles is killing me, they're so beloved.

Lewis really said I need myself a Bono cuddle and Bono said cmere babe.

pls the quiet intimacy n soft domesticity of it KILLED me. the way they interact n inhabit each other’s space fascinates me. they’re just so…easy n unthinking. like lewis wanted a bono cuddle n so he just went to take one !! n bono let him !! cheek against lewis’s tit. eyes closed. soaking him in 🤧🤧🤧

#i simultaneously want lewis to hug me like that but also to be able to hug bono like that BUT ALSO to have what they have !!!#not to be like. serious n deep on this hellsite n project onto rich men but like !! when u find ur ppl n u can just ask for things like this #hugs n arms around shoulders n hand holding !! n just. touch. it’s one of the best feelings in the world actually imo #also. i am cackling at the idea that lewis wore his cap peak froward so it’d bump off of bono incase he forgot he was at work n wanted to #kiss him. like a purity ring but make it f1 #blewis #lewis hamilton #peter bonnington #f1 #anon tag #niamh.asks

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appleciders · 2 years

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antiope!mary and yelle!shannon send post

MMM!!

em i love this. antiope!mary, with her quiver of exploding arrows, absolutely begging shannon to have a single emotionally intelligent non-self sacrificial bone in her body. literally grabbing her by the shoulders trying to get her to have a reaction to serious things that isn’t closed-off stoicism (bc shannon isn’t superficially yelle, she’s not an outwardly groovy stoner funguy, but it's a different expression of the same thing, of throwing herself so hard into a Cause, and into the protection of her friends, to the point where she has accepted she has no worth beyond it). mary!antiope pleading please care about your own life, your own life, your own life—the world is better with you in it, the best thing that you can do for the world isn't die.

(please. i love you. i don't want you to fucking die.)