#total refreshment centre

[garadinervi]

Alabaster DePlume, A Blade Because A Blade Is Whole, (Limited Edition "That Was My Garden" Color Vinyl LP Record/Vinyl, Classic Black Vinyl LP, CD, Digital album), IARC0090, International Anthem, 2025

Alabaster DePlume: voice, tenor and baritone sax, acoustic and electric guitar, bass, synths Conrad Singh: electric guitar Donna Thompson: drums, voice, vocal arrangement for Invincibility Hannah Miller: cello John Ellis: piano Macie Stewart: violin, string arrangements Mikey Kenney: violin, voice Momoko Gill: voice, drums, string arrangement for Form a V Rozi Plain: bass Ruth Goller: bass, voice

Composed and Produced by Alabaster DePlume, except Salty Road Dogs Victory Anthem, co-composed with Conrad Singh, Momoko Gill and Rozi Plain

Recorded to analogue tape at Total Refreshment Centre

Artwork: Rebecca Salvadori Portrait Photograph: Chris Almeida Design & Layout: Aaron Lowell Denton

[onryou-onryou]

Total Refreshment Centre - Matters Unknown - "Eloquence" Feat. Miryam Solomon

[levanterhaze]

gameboy ― bangchan

♡  ― 󠀬󠀬[ minors do not interact! ] fratboy!bangchan x f!reader . unprotected sex, oral sex (f. receiving), overstimulation, graphic sex details, if you don't feel comfortable, don't read! fingering (f. receiving), just pure smut.

♡ synopsis ― Bangchan is the campus playboy—charming, cocky, and infuriatingly irresistible. One reckless, drunken night leads to a secret you swore you'd never have. Now, hating him is harder than keeping him your dirty little secret.

[ 5.7k words ]♡― i wrote this in one night, i think i was inspired or something. it's been a while since i've written, but i found this one interesting. i'm still thinking about doing a second part!

♡― THE PLAYLIST.

♡―[part 2]

The music was a bit too loud, but that's just the vibe, right?

Eunji was super focused on her school skirt she had borrowed from Sohee, working hard to recreate Britney Spears' iconic style. The theme was Y2K, and the fraternity was buzzing with Cher Horowitz, Paris Hilton, and Beyoncé energy.

You took a refreshing sip of your drink while your friends spread out to mingle. Sohee was caught up in the moment, and she and Minho, her boyfriend, shared a lovey-dovey moment. Eunji was telling someone how tired college was making her, that she barely had time to go to a spa, which, for Eunji, was total nonsense.

You were sharing a room with the two of them, which was very fortunate as they were both top-notch people. You scanned the place, looking for something or someone. It was a bad habit, you knew. Going to frat parties meant sharing the same square metre as your nemesis – or nearly so.

Your friends were aware of your mutual dislike of each other, but as you couldn't seem to avoid going to parties or socializing with your friends, you made a conscious effort to be the bigger person and not let his presence upset you. That said, it wasn't always easy.

Bangchan got what he wanted most of the time. He was arrogant and overbearing, which drove you crazy. As a woman who fought hard against all kinds of ignorance, it was gross to see him bragging around campus as if he were the last man in the world.

What was even more annoying was that all the girls fell for his bullshit.

Sohee, who was the most blunt of the three, said this was "suppressed horniness" and that the moment you and Bangchan were alone, all this animosity would turn into libido and it would all be sorted in one good fuck. But that was far from happening if it was up to you. "Now we're talking," Hyunjin appeared in your line of sight. With his long black hair slicked back, he looked like a slightly slutty version of Patrick Bateman, with fake blood on his jaw and chest. "You look good.

With your hands on your waist, you turned around to show how much effort you'd put into your costume. 

As someone deeply involved in theatre, you are always fully committed to any challenge. Whether it's a play or a fraternity party, you commit wholeheartedly. After much thought, you decided that you would be Suki. The lilac blouse was small and suited your upper body perfectly. The pink leather pants were almost identical, ending just below your bottom and with garters that went down to your thighs, exposing your skin by just a few inches. Suki is a sexy and iconic character, which is a perfect fit for you.

"You know it's not Halloween, right?" you shouted over loud music. Hyunjin gave a casual shrug and smiled, showing his teeth.

"There's always an excuse to dress up as Patrick Bateman."

There was a DJ at the party, apparently Minho's friend Jisung. He cranked up the music, and everyone gravitated towards the centre of the room, where most people were dancing. It was reggaeton and all the girls were rolling around and gettin down on the floor. Sohee was dancing with her boyfriend, whose hands were on her waist and whose face was close to hers, looking very pleased.

Eunji put her back to yours, glass in hand, and you danced together. As the alcohol took over your bodies, it was hard to hold back.

The beat was infectious and the energy was almost impossible to control. You danced together for three more songs until the alcohol had worn off and you desperately needed to find a toilet.

"Wait for me!" you shouted as you climbed the wooden stairs to the second floor access. It wasn't your first time in this dorm, but the drink had clouded your mind and all the doors simply looked the same.

You played a quick round of eenie, meenie, miney, mo, your finger landing on one of the many identical doors. Without hesitation, you turned the handle and pushed it open, expecting to find a bathroom. What you found instead stopped you dead in your tracks.

It wasn’t the bathroom. Not even close.

A girl was kneeling in the corner of the room, her blonde hair held by thick hands and enlarged veins. Your first impulse was to close the door, but for some odd reason you didn't. Standing there, eyes downcast and lips hanging open, was Bangchan.

You would never have believed it if you'd seen it.

The girl was working really hard, loudly moaning as she put it in her mouth. You stood there watching and thinking about what you saw. Bangchan had his dark hair covering his face, but then he lifted his head and you could see the thick veins on his neck.

Maybe the alcohol was having an effect. You tripped over yourself, making him look at you.

Your eyes went wide and you spun on your heels, running in the opposite direction.

"Oh no, oh shit."

At that moment, a girl came out of the bathroom, and you thanked God for finally finding a place where you could lock yourself in. Your cheeks were flushed and your skin prickled. Oh my god. That was too embarrassing. It wasn't something you should have seen, and even worse, it wasn't something you should have enjoyed witnessing.

After using the bathroom and washing your face with cold water, you went back into the living room and pretended that nothing had happened. If you drank enough, the sight of Bangchan groaning would quickly fade from your mind.

"You won't believe this," Eunji shouted, laughter spilling out with every word. "Some guy just stripped down to nothing but a cowboy hat and is now giving everyone his best Magic Mike impression."

Sure enough, there he was—a member of the basketball team, stark naked save for the cowboy hat perched jauntily on his head, gyrating in the middle of the dance floor like he was auditioning for Vegas.

"That's... dedication," you muttered, unable to tear your eyes away from the chaotic spectacle.

"That's fucking insane," Felix chimed in, suddenly materializing beside Hyunjin. He was dressed as a somewhat disheveled Romeo, complete with a feathered cap that looked suspiciously askew. His grin was as bright as the party lights.

"Is it?" Hyunjin asked dryly, eyeing the cowboy dancer like he was trying to calculate how much alcohol it would take to get someone to that point. "Seems on-brand for him."

"You know that guy?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hyunjin shrugged. "Not well enough to explain this."

Felix laughed, holding up a drink. "I don't know, kind of feels like art to me. Pure, unfiltered expression."

"Expression, my ass," Eunji snorted. "I give him five more minutes before campus security steps in."

Something caught your eye from across the room. Like a moth lured by a flame, your eyes found him. Bangchan was coming down the stairs with a girl in a Christina Aguilera costume. Her breasts barely tucked into her low-cut top, while he was now shirtless, wearing only an open sweatshirt over his abs.

Fucking ridiculous.

"Hyunjin!" you shouted, needing to get away from there as quickly as possible so that he wouldn't see you. You could picture the teasing or judgy looks he would give you. "Do you want to go with me to get a drink?" your voice came out sounding a bit desperate.

He was making his way through the crowd.

"The table's just over there, go get yourself," Hyunjin grumbled, but you rolled your eyes and took him by the hand.

"I'm asking you to come with me. Shut up and move."

The boy couldn't avoid it because you were pulling him through the crowd.

When you got to the table, you filled a cup with beer and drank it all in one go. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, shocked at how determined you were. The second time, you were about to put the beer straight to your lips, but your friend was quicker and took it out of your hands.

"Okay. I think you've had enough."

You looked at your friends, and saw that Bangchan was looking at you and Hyunjin. There was something unusual in his gaze, something you couldn't and didn't want to understand. But something was causing you to feel uneasy. Especially in your panties.

You noticed the strange movement because in a second he was nowhere to be found. In the crowd, you saw Bangchan coming towards you.

“Hyun. Kiss me.”

Hyunjin froze, his brow arching high enough to vanish beneath his dark fringe. “Wait, what did you just say?”

“I need you to kiss me,” you repeated, your voice steady but your eyes darting toward the crowd. “Like, now.”

His hand stalled mid-motion, the glass he’d been holding clinking softly as he set it on the table. “What’s going on with you today?” he asked, studying you like you’d just sprouted another head. “Is this some kind of joke?”

“Hyunjin, seriously,” you hissed, stepping closer, lowering your voice so only he could hear. “Just act. I need you to do this for me. Now. Please.”

He blinked at you, clearly taken aback, before his gaze narrowed slightly. “This better not be a setup for something ridiculous,” he muttered, the corners of his mouth twitching. “But fine. If it’s that important...”

The boy shrugged. He was surprised by the situation, but he would never refuse a demand for a kiss, even if it was a fake one. Hyunjin grabbed your face and pulled you into a solid kiss. There was no tongue, and there wasn't much feeling either. There was no excitement or the usual growing heat between you. But that didn't mean your friend wasn't a good kisser.

You kept going for a few seconds, until you needed to catch your breath and pushed him away by squeezing his shoulder a little. Hyunjin raised his eyebrows and shrugged. A girl walked past you, looking surprised. One of Hyunjin's friends called out to him, and then he left.

You hadn't a clue what you were doing. The idea after executing it seemed like a disaster. Kissing your friend to throw Bangchan off sounded better in your head.

"You sure love being the center of attention, don’t you?"

The voice that followed caught you off guard, smooth and laced with confidence. It sent a shiver down your spine, but you quickly shrugged it off.

"Funny, coming from you," you shot back, your tone dripping with playful sarcasm. He couldn’t see your face, but the eye-roll in your voice was impossible to miss.

And to be honest with himself, he could imagine a bunch of other things, too.

Receiving a blowjob from a student in his room was nice, but what made him come was having you watching. All this mutual hate made him more excited. It was like a competition, and every day he got closer to scoring.

He couldn't ignore your figure as you walked by, the way your pants clung to the curves of your body. Seeing you there, watching, made him think about doing all sorts of things, but none of them involved those pants.

"Kissing my friends in front of me? Bold move." He laughed at the look of disgust on your face. “If you wanted to join in, sweetheart, you could’ve just said so." His voice dropped, low and smooth, as he leaned closer. You could feel the dampness of his plump lips on your skin.

Frustrated by the interaction, you spun around and averted his gaze.

"You’re so full of yourself, it’s gross" But it didn't matter. The more you talked, the more he enjoyed himself. "And you're a disgusting, perverted..."

"If I'm all that, then why didn't you close the door, hmm?" He shot back, his smirk widening.

You were at a loss for words, your mind scrambling to form a coherent thought. Bold didn’t even begin to describe him. Bangchan wiped his lips with an infuriating nonchalance, stepping closer until the air between you was practically charged.

“Admit it,” he murmured, his voice low and dangerously smooth. “You wanted to be her, didn’t you?” Your eyes widened. "I know you did. Yeah. You watched 'cause you liked what you saw. You wanted it to be your lips wrapped around my cock.”

"You're..."

“Save it,” he interrupted with a cocky smirk, tilting his head slightly. “Don’t waste your breath. If you really want to find out, meet me there.”

He turned and walked away, leaving you standing there, your pulse pounding in your ears. The sight of his broad shoulders and that silver chain resting against his toned abdomen only made things worse.

This was insane. Your head spun, and it wasn’t from the booze. His words, his presence, everything about him was too much—and yet, your body betrayed you.

Did you want to find out?

The whispers from theater rehearsals echoed in your mind. The girls who couldn’t stop talking about him, the things he supposedly did, the way he made them feel. Was he really that good? Was he as intoxicating as he seemed when you caught that glimpse earlier?

If none of that made sense, then why did your body tell you otherwise?

So you walked among a crowd of people. The noise of your thoughts overwhelmed the music. With each step, you found a reason to quit. Your friends were having fun, and they probably wouldn't miss you for a few minutes, right? What was wrong with you?

How could you even think about having sex with Bangchan?

Three doors were closed, but the same one was open. You closed your eyes, believing you had time to give up. But your body didn't cooperate. You had to feed the heat coursing through your body, otherwise you'd burn up — and you couldn't let that happen.

The room was dark when you pushed open the door. Your eyes scanned the darkness until you found him sitting on the edge of the bed. Bangchan's gaze conveyed surprise. It was a shot in the dark. He didn't think you would come.

For a moment, neither of you moved, caught in a charged silence that seemed louder than words. The dim light made everything sharper—the way his chest rose and fell, the way his eyes darkened as they lingered on you.

Your heart hammered in your chest, indecision clawing at you. Turning on your heel, you made a move to leave, but before you could take a full step, Bangchan’s hand wrapped around your wrist, firm yet electrifying.

“This is a dumb decision.”

"But here you are." Bangchan hesitated. The sight of your soft, cherry-painted lips looked so tempting that he could think of only one thing: devouring you. "Fuck it."

He reached back and clicked the door shut, the sound echoing in the heavy silence. You noticed the way his forearm flexed but quickly looked away, catching something else in his eyes instead—something raw, something dangerous.

“So,” he murmured, stepping closer, his intense gaze locking onto yours. “You know what?”

You swallowed hard, retreating step by step until your back hit the desk, the cool surface grounding you against the heat of his presence.

“What?” you asked, your voice barely steady. Holding his gaze felt impossible, especially when every nerve in your body screamed at you to close the gap.

But you didn’t move—not yet. Even though all you wanted was to tear down the distance and let the fire between you consume everything.

Bangchan’s hand found your stomach, his thumb brushing over the bare skin with maddening precision, as if he knew exactly what he was doing to you. The touch was light, fleeting, but it sent a ripple of heat through your body that settled low in your core.

Before you knew it, you were perched on the edge of the table, legs parted just enough to let him step between them. His presence filled the space around you, his confidence suffocating in the most infuriating way.

He took his time, gently touching your skin with his knuckles, brushing them over your arms, until he leaned forward and placed his lips on your jaw. The tingling sensation of his lips on your skin was like taking an opiate. You felt nothing and everything at the same time.

His breath fanned your skin as he kissed the spot just below your ear, drawing a soft gasp from you. He paused, his lips trailing to your jawline, and his voice, low and rough, broke the silence. "I wished it was you. With your pretty little mouth around me. Thinking about you made me come. So fucking hard."

A sob escaped your lips. The words were painful for your sore body. His tongue crawled over your chin. Bangchan held your face with one hand, making you stare into his eyes. Naked and raw. "You like that, hmm? D’ya like knowing that I think ‘bout you?” You wanted to fight back. You didn't want to let him dominate you.

“You're fucking ridiculous.”

Bangchan’s lips curled into that infuriatingly cocky smile, the one that set your nerves on fire.

 That's his girl. With a clever mouth.

“Yeah, is that so?” He sucked on your lip, pulling you to him in painstaking haste.

“Yes.” You moaned copiously. You hissed, though the conviction in your voice wavered as his hand slid up your thigh, slow and measured. His knuckles brushed the soft skin there, and the ache he left in your wake was unbearable. With his other hand, he circled your inner thigh, climbing achingly up to your cunt.

“I want you to say that again when I make you cum. Mmm, what ya say?” He murmured, his lips brushing your ear as his other hand settled firmly on your hip. A low laugh rumbled in his chest as a shaky moan slipped from yours, unbidden but impossible to hold back. 

His hand inched higher, and you fought to keep your composure, though the heat pooling low in your stomach made it a losing battle.

“I fuckin' hate you.” you spat, though your breathless tone robbed it of any real venom.

“We'll see about that.”

His words were a promise, cocky and assured, and without leaving room for an answer, he devoured your mouth with devotion. Both bodies undulated against each other, desperate for friction, for warmth. Bangchan spread your thighs, pushing you backwards. It was so intense that your back was arching over, the two of you battling for control.

It wasn’t just a kiss—it was a claim. His hands moved with purpose, gripping your thigh and pulling you closer as his body pressed into yours, the heat between you like a live wire. The table groaned beneath you as he guided you back, his palm sliding up to part your legs further, making room for him to settle between them.

Your back arched against the cool surface, the contrast of heat and cold heightening every sensation. His lips left yours only to trail down your jaw, his breath hot and uneven as it ghosted over your skin. The tension in the air was suffocating, an unspoken challenge lingering between each frantic touch.

It was a fight neither of you was willing to lose, and yet, the way his hands moved, the way his lips devoured, it was clear he wasn’t about to let you win.

Your hands reached for the sweatshirt on his broad, muscular shoulders and tossed it to the floor. The gap between kisses was long enough for you to lift your own top and rip it off eagerly. You could have sworn you heard an almost beastly growl emanating from Bangchan, something completely charged with lust.

A large, calloused hand grabbed your throat, making you choke. His finger pressed against your lip, which you licked religiously, giving him a taste of what was coming. Bangchan pressed your body until you collided with the wall and your hands clung to the rim of the table. And in due time he nibbled your tit, snaking his tongue around it, savoring the tenderness of your skin.

You bit your lip down and held back a moan. Your gut rippled like the ocean waves as the intoxicating rush grew in your belly, down your legs, and scorched your toes.

You felt his hand come close to your wet core and your whole body went on alert. Bangchan bit your nipple and looked at you only to see the girl with her lips wide open, eyes bright and flushed cheeks.

This sight could kill him.

Just as he was about to come to your lips again, a knock sounded at the door. You instinctively ducked behind him, your heart hammering in your chest "Oops, sorry man!" The boy's voice echoed through the room, and with a snap, the door slammed shut.

A rush of adrenaline surged through you—not from what was happening, but the brief panic of being caught. It was ridiculous, but the sensation gripped you harder than you’d like to admit.

"Shit, I’ll lock it."

Biting your lip at the image of the man walking to the door and then to you. His lips swollen from kissing your body, the marks of nails on his chest, his messy hair, it was a perfect match.

"You know what, I'm rethinking the whole pant thing. Maybe I'll fuck you in 'em." Before he could finish, you cupped his face in both hands, stopping him in his tracks. His eyebrow quirked in interest, a silent question hanging in the air.

“I just remembered,” you said with a mischievous glint in your eyes. “A few minutes ago, you were, well... y'know. Right there.”

You both glanced toward the corner of the room, the absurdity of the situation hitting you at the same time. And, with a shared moment of clarity, laughter bubbled out of you, the tension briefly breaking.

"Right.'" He captured your mouth. Bangchan said, that familiar cocky smirk now full force. “I can fuck you anywhere,” he kissed you again, and then you lost your breath. "the backseat of my car," Again a kiss. "Any fucking place. But we can start here."

In a daze, you clung to each other like two animals. Every second you begged for air, he devoured your mouth more and more. His nimble hands fought against your pants. He wanted to touch you, to feel you.

Growling, he added. "Lift your hips for me."

You, overtaken by lust, quickly bent down on the table so that he could unbutton your pants and pull them all the way down, past your boots, which also reached down to the other side of the bedroom.

Bangchan held the back of your knees and marveled at the sight of your bare body. It was like a damn mirage. The skimpy pink panties were nothing, showing all your dampness. There was no trace of embarrassment on your face, just an unbridled urge to be taken by him.

Absorbed to your body, Bangchan held your neck with both of his hands, this time tilting your body backwards. With his own body, he splayed your legs with his free hand. Your intimacies were bare, your body bathed in the dim light streaming through the nearby window.

He captured your mouth and ran his fingers over the cloth. He squeezed his fingertips against your clit, making your clenched teeth grind together. Feeling his hand around your nape of the neck, the lack of oxygen in your lungs and the short circuit from the friction of his hand down there was electrical.

Bangchan wriggled over the fabric in slow, painful circular motions. He was excruciatingly hard inside the sweatpants. He wanted to take off and make a mess of you, but first he wanted to relish every second and push you to the limit.

"My God." Words slipped from your lips, preaching to the divine, as you felt yourself being ravished.

Bangchan stretched the fabric and stroked the core with his fingers, wetting them without caring. How he looked at you, how he looked at your tight pussy was erotic. The noises you made when he slid his fingers through your labia and then threatened to push in two fingers at the one time. It was the sensation near death. You could feel an orgasm coming gradually, in heavy, lusty waves.

If he didn't stop teasing you, you'd come too fast.

"Hang in there, baby." He brushed a finger across your lips, sliding them into your warm, wet mouth. Everything was intensified by the endearing pet name. You got proof that the rumors were true. "Spread for me... Like that." You raised your legs and placed your feet on the table, giving him a full view of your body.

You could feel the wetness everywhere. Bangchan took two fingers in your mouth and let you suck them like a piece of candy. Without taking your eyes off him for a second, you went along with it.

"Good girl."

And with the same fingers, he delved into you. His fingers in the precise curl, in the precise place that made you cry out. And if the music hadn't been deafening, everyone at the party would have heard you moaning under his fingers.

By sucking on your lower lip, he began a unique rhythm. According to the rhythm of your body snaking around him, Chan went harder and faster. Your lips opened impulsively, flowing under his. Wide-eyed, your face froze into an ethereal feature, fogged with bliss.

You took hold of his wrist, the hand in which he was thrusting into you, and forced him to go faster. You desperately wanted - needed - to reach the body-rattling orgasm. It was already becoming impossible to hide the screams that tore from your throat. He was just very skilled at doing it and left you craving more.

“Bangchan...” A pitying look on your face made him break out into a maniacal smirk. To hear his own name coming from your mouth was like a narcotic being shot into his veins. He wanted better, he wanted you to realize what you had done to him.

Letting go of your throat, which until then had been under his grasp, Bangchan got down on his knees and dived into your pussy. You groped your hand to stop yourself from bawling. Your raw nerves were on edge and any more stimulation would make you burst. But he was relentless. With his savvy tongue, he outlined movements on your clit, leaving your moistness to rub through his lips and all over your core.

“Shit, shit, shit...” You purred. Suddenly, holding onto the dark strands of the boy in front of you, bringing your body closer, provoking more friction. Bangchan took advantage of every second, kissing and suckling your vulnerable flesh, swirling around your core and tongue teasing your insides.

You were rolling on his face. Sweat trickled down your spine and temples. Incoherent utterances came from your lips as muffled moans tore from Bangchan's deep throat. That pain was building, growing in your stomach. Your body was moving in an illogical way and Bangchan had to place his palm on your lower stomach to keep you from moving.

And that's when, with his mouth still on your cunt, he pinched your clit, making you seize up. The orgasm struck you hard, spewing electric waves throughout your body, leaving you sluggish and weak. Bangchan kept hold of your body as you fell apart, an disembodied vision.

You cried out his name as you came and he made you swallow every single moan.

“Mmm, you're so fucking hot when you cum for me.”

You sat on the edge again, spreading Chan's arm muscles. Looking down, you caught yourself wondering at the sight of his hard cock framing the edge of his pants like a carving, too beautiful to just look at.

Your hands went down to the edge of the white sweatpants he was still wearing - quite unfair, given that you were only wearing a pair of panties that were now barely fit for anything. A cocky smile hung on the man's lips. He enjoyed it with his hands on the table as you took it off, gawping at the size of it. The girth. The form. It was surreal.

Bangchan was holding back. He'd dreamt of having your hands and mouth around his cock for a very long time. And now, you were there, stroking him back and forth, in a slow, excruciating rhythm. He could let you have a taste and get on your knees to him. He'd fuck your mouth so relentlessly that you'd never have another smart-ass word for him. You'd always remember that one moment.

But he was overwhelmed by the mirage of your body and the sounds it caused in you.

“Oh, fuck.” A guttural moan broke from his lips. With his mouth open, he looked at where you were fucking him, your soft hand stroking his length. It was too much. He wasn't going to last. “I need you to stop.”

“Why?”

Chan squeezed your thighs together, hating himself for not feeling your touch where he needed it most.

“As much as I want you on your knees for me, I really need to fuck you.”

You chewed your lip, sensing the heat coming back to your face and your core. "Save that pretty little mouth for next time. Yeah?"

Next time. The phrase lingered in your head, leaving you with a queasy feeling in your gut.

With one hand, he spread your legs and held your leg up high enough for him to have the reach he needed to make you come a second time. That was his trick. He knew what he was doing too well, and you loathed him for it.

“Chan...” You whimpered. He grunted and brought your bodies together. He held the shaft of his own cock and stroked it for a few seconds before brushing the tip against your slit. You gasped for air at the feeling. "Please. Chan." You pleaded, searching his eyes. It was too much of a torture and you wouldn't be able to bear it if he wasn't fast.

“Fuck, don't do it like that...” He whined, still thrusting into your hole with his own cock. “Fucking Christ.” Your wetness made him slide between the clit and the slit. Your eyes went wide, collapsing. Meanwhile, Chan was glued to the point where you connected.

Slowly, he slipped in. A moan in unison reverberated almost in praise.

He knew it wouldn't last long. Being deep inside you was driving him insane. You were making him slip, making the movements clumsy but so delicious. Bangchan pressed down on your calf, pinning it to his chest. You leaned over, holding onto his shoulder. The sight was like a fucking movie scene.

You entwined as one.

Bangchan took his time to lengthen his movements, first because he could feel every inch of your pussy swallow him up. It was so fucking good. He nibbled his lip tightly, gliding in a little more, causing you to whimper.

“Faster.” Pleas burst from your ruined lips.

“Fuuuuck.” Bangchan upped the pace, a frantic and luscious back and forth. “You're fuckin' surreal.”

He could have been saying anything, but your brain was thawing, your body morphing. Being stuffed until his balls hit your skin was opulent. Their bodies met halfway, each moving as fast as possible to get themselves there. Bangchan had to hold onto the table to avoid a hole in the wall. The furniture kept bouncing in line with your bodies.

The rapturous feeling fills you and takes you to the edge. What was left of the room was a mess of panting and skin on skin. Your hips rode the width of him. He was falling to pieces little by little, feeling his body combust.

From the way his veins seemed more prominent and thicker, his neck stiff, his sweat accentuating his smooth skin, you could tell. You rocked your body vigorously back and forth, giving him deep, dry thrusts. Bangchan then reached a point set aside to take you to heaven.

When the groans dared escape your lips, he devoured them, one by one, eating up the pleas, his name coming out of your mouth like a holy prayer that only he would hear. That was enough time for your body to succumb to the fierce orgasm and for Bangchan to pull out, thrusting with his own hand and letting go on your sweat-damp stomach.

You were still hanging on to his shoulder, trying to find your feet. Both panting and with your eyes closed, you seemed to recover some consciousness. His eyes were still clouded with desire, in a hue you had never yet witnessed.

“Well,” you said between chuckles. “I think you've just proved your point.”

Bangchan laughed and then helped you up from the desk. Your clothes were scattered around the room, your boots under a stranger's bed. You cleaned up and dressed. Make-up was intact, but your hair was a tangled mess. He watched from the corner of his eye as he put on his own underwear.

After a brief fix in the mirror, you turned around a little awkwardly, as if he hadn't just given you the best sex of your entire life.

“So, I'm going out first... Just in case... You know, anyone sees me.”

In fairness, he was quite taken aback. He hadn’t expected what had just happened to mean anything to you, but there was a part of him—just a sliver—that hoped it might shift your perspective. The realization stung his pride, but he masked it, keeping the quiet frustration buried deep inside.

"Yeah. Whatever."

You shot him a glance, your expression unreadable. "All right. Well, I guess... that’s it. I’ll see you around."

Your smile was soft, but there was an undertone of something more—a knot in your chest that wouldn’t let go. He nodded, his face as impassive as ever, his eyes giving nothing away.

With a soft exhale, you closed the door behind you and leaned against it, eyes squeezed shut.

What the fuck had you just done?

[waterlilyprincesss]

My Sasuhina Fanfic Recs Masterlist

I have been rediscovering my fixation on sasuhina these past few months so i figure i'll make a list on everything i found on ao3 and ffn since all the other recs i found on the internet are from years ago. Enjoy! I'll graduately update this.

They Know Me Here by chancewriter

Summary: Sasuke came back from a year long mission to find that Naruto and Hinata had divorced and nothing was ever the same again. As Sasuke tries to help Hinata come to terms with a devastating, life-changing event - denial, resistance, submission - they're unaware that these are also the steps they must take to find each other's hearts. 

Post-War.

This one has NaruHina background in it but that what makes it interesting. Very well written and it's so refreshing to read post-war fanfic where Sasuke is somewhat healed and willing to seek a new purpose in his life. One of the other thing that i especially love in post-war sasuhina fanfic is the journey on how he discover love and attraction and this author presented it very well and in a subtle way so the relationship between SH develop slowly (the best way for this pair). Actualy i found their interaction quite funny because in this story Sasuke trying his best to court hinata but he obviously has no idea how so you could imagine haha. Hinata in this story is very broken and a bit reluctant to enter a new relationship. We'll learn the reason along the way and i promise the author handled the heavy topic very well. As in many SH fanfics, i wouldn't called it exactly character bashing, but yeah Naruto and Sakura is behaving quite messy in this. But i think it makes sense and not over the top. They aren't a bad person, they're just behaving in regards of situations and choices that presented to them. Naruto and Hinata here actually has chemistry. Naruto isn't just a total jerk that just blatanly hurt her, no, their separation is very complicated and hurt both of them. The other side characters are also very well written like Hanabi here is very competent adult and yet she still behave like a pesty little sister to Hinata.

Another thing that i could note is how the author wrote the overall ambience of the story like where the scene take place, what they're wearing, etc. I can't describe it very well but it's just so.... serene like if you ship SH you would understand.

2. Forced Paths by MarsForce

Summary: In an alternative universe of ninja and swordsmen the clans are trying to perceive their existence and grow their strength. The Hyuga heiress and the Uchiha successor are placed in the centre of it.

Samurai AU.

Arranged marriage is a very common trope in SH stories but among tons of fics that i' ve read not many could delivered it very well. Sometimes it's just plain boring or too cliche. But this is one of the few that done it very well. The story is placed in edo (ish) samurai clans settings so clan politics is a major point in this story. World building and characterisation is done very well. There's so much thing to unpack so it's definetely gonna keep you interested.

Even though it doesn't necesarilly a battle-focused story, i feel like if you're looking for strong-Hinata story this one is probably one of the best that i could reccomended. Sasuke's attitude in the beginning is very distasteful omg he's so embarassing i swear but he'll redeemed himself i promise. This an AU so of course things are gonna be a little bit different but it still retain the dynamics of both hyuuga and uchiha clan. Like how Hinata is deemed inadequate as an heir, how Sasuke always felt inferior than Itachi, how hard he try to impress his father, etc. This story also deals with patriarchy, we could see how it affect many of the characters and how they deal with that especially Hinata. Her character developement is very satisfying. I like how the author build up the relationship between the two and how it's not just about the romance but how they develop as an individual.

3. Midnight by MarsForce

Summary: What good is power when it comes too late to save your loved-ones. What remains after?

Post-War.

Do you ever feel not quite content with the way how Hinata react towards Neji's death in canon? Well i do. Given her personality and how their relationship developed i feel like she would not take his death lightly. This story explore exactly that. It shows us how Hinata and Sasuke deals with grief. The pararel between them and how they together they try to overcome it. The author really hit the nail with how they desribe how Hinata feel about how she should continue living knowing she's alive because someone sacrifice his life for her. The immense guilt and hollowness that she felt. It's very sad, i remember crying on every chapter the fisrt time i read it hahaha.

4. After by Marsforce

Summary: The last Great Ninja war ended eight years ago, giving time to a world of peace. Sasuke returns back to Konoha, where Hinata Uzumaki is Hinata Hyuga again.

Post-War.

Hinata is not the usual shy and timid Hinata that you would find in other stories. Some people maybe find it OOC but i personaly think that characters behave according to the circumtances that happened in their life so as long as it written well enough it would still makes sense to me. The story start with sasuke coming back to the village pretty much not knowing what to do with his life and how he try to found out about how his bestfriend's marriage ended. Both Hinata and Sasuke is very stubborn. Hinata is very closed off and her divorce is like a mistery that clouded and kind of torn of the bonds between characters in the story. We're gonna see how sasuke unveil the mistery of the divorce little by little and how he's unknowingly involved in it. Don't read the comments if you don't want to get spoiled haha. Sasuke is also dealing with existensial crisis, he's not sure about what he's gonna do with his life and his clan. and oh this story also has Sasuke discover love and attraction. It's awkward and it's also kind of cute.

Like the other 2 stories from this author, this story contain many long paragraphs that explore how the characters feel. It slow burn and quite long but it's not boring at all.

5. How A Cat Became A Matchmaker by PianoCoat

Summary: Of all the people, the elders thought Uchiha Sasuke would be a good match for Hinata? Neji aggressively disagrees ... until Sasuke changes his mind. And now, under interesting circumstances, Neji has to figure out how to make these two click.

Post-War.

Again classic arrange marriage trope but with interesting twist to it. Neji is ALIVE! and he's being the over protective cousin that he is, spying on sasuke to make sure he's the match for Hinata. It's just so adorable, there's no grand plot but this author is just very good. I've read some of their stories and all of them is just so beautiful. It feels like i'm reading a shoujo story you know like the one that makes you giggling like a teenage girl.

6. Direct My Wrath by Emikka

[Uncomplete] Modern AU SasuHina, Itahina.

Miscommunication really fucked them up. This one is sooooo messy. The characters is not perfect and you're probably gonna hate Sasuke in this. But just keep going i promise there's a reason why he behave like that. It'swell written and it's interesting. The side characters are also well written and it's also quite funny in some parts. It's uncomplete and sasuke and hinata barely interacted so far, itahina on the othe side is also has very good chemistry.

7. UNDERBELLY by angel222you

Summary: After Hinata receives a top-secret mission to enter the belly of the beast—-the Uchiha Crime Syndicate—she learns that sometimes you have to go under it to get on top of it. Unfortunately, there might be more to life than simply following orders. This is a story about family, secrets, and the bonds that hold it all together.

Spy-Yakuza AU. Slight GaaHina.

The plot, world building, and characterisation is on point. Sasuke as a oyabun is just so hot even though he's a bit unhinged sometimes. Hinata is strong and smart even though she's still dealing with the same issues of being inadequate in front oh Hiashi's eyes. The dynamic between Hinata and Sasuke is full of tension and intrigue. We see how they try to figure out how they feel about each other while at the same time reaching their personal goals. This story has spy, yakuza, rich kids having fun, politics, romance, all the good stuff!

8. A Water Lily by theGeneralissimo

[Uncomplete] Post-War.

A very interesting take on how fragile the so called 'peace' after the war. I'm so sad that this is most probably abandoned. At this point (Chapter 11) there's really no romance developed between two yet but the plot itself is very interesting. It explore the civilian vs shinobi trope which is very unexplored in canon material. We see Hinata found herself in very difficult situations and how sasuke got tangled in it.

9. Recreant by wasuremonogatari

Summary: In the aftermath of Neji's death, Hinata's Byakugan evolved into an incredible force. Driven by struggle against power and her need to protect those around her, she joins the ANBU and distances herself from family and loved ones. Hinata embarks on a mission to retrieve Uchiha Sasuke where with a single glance, from Mangekyo Sharingan to Byakugan, a bond is created between the two.

[Uncomplete] Post-War.

In many stories that attempted to write Hinata as stronger shinobi, many failed and ended up making her character a one dimensional mary sue type of character. But this one able to execute it very well. It show us how shinobi is basically viewed as a weapon for their village. Their strength could easily viewed as a means to protect but also a threat at the same time. It also show us how that very power could destroy the life of its wielder.

The story definetly heading to some kind of fated bond between sasuke hinata but the recent chapters barely cover the first encounter between the two. I hope there's still hope for the author to continue this story.

10. She Holds The Cards by PianoCoat

Summary: Hinata was the messenger of the school, and messenger weren't really supposed to get their own letters. Apparently, Sasuke didn't get the memo.

High-School AU. Slight ShikaHina.

The prompt is very simple i don't expect the angst to hit that hard omg. The author just wrote it very well. Its so beautiful and poetic. I could feel all the emotions and feelings of the characters. It shows us the unrequited love between NaruHina. Hinata's feelings are so well described, her insecurity, shame, and pain. Sasuke is so... Sasuke. 

[merirat]

I am overtired and high on caffeine and seaweed snacks, so I'm about to blather on about Hazbin Hotel things for no reason.

I have been seeing many Thoughts™ floating around online about Alastor's self-reliance, the reason for it, and how this might affect future Seasons and it gave me Other Thoughts regarding Alastor and Vox that ate my brain.

Under a cut to save dashes in case I can't shut up.

So... there are a lot theories around about Alastor and Vox went from friends to two hissing cats in an alley, a lot of which are centred around the Stayed Gone line "He asked me to join his team. I said no and now he's pissy, that's the tea." and yeah, there's probably something to that, especially with a compact eight episodes per season, but...

Suppose for a minute it was something a lot more insignificant than that. Not in fact, but on the surface. You get someone like Alastor who is — it has been amply pointed out — self-sufficient to an almost dangerous degree. And yeah, he has the background: mixed race, only kid raised by a single mom, had to work his ass off to get to where he is, very unlikely to be getting help or hand-outs, just as likely to be fucked over if there ARE help or hand-outs, prompting a rejection of those. Just... the whole nine yards.

His interpersonal relationships kind of reflect this too. He's friends with Mimzy, who's probably as unreliable as hell, but doesn't pretend to be anything else, which must be refreshing. Hell, she's probably even come through for him on occasion when he's least expected it simply because he knows not to expect it. He has a relationship with Niffty that can be described as father/daughter or mentor/mentee, but it's definitely one where he is in a position of authority and he'll ask her to do things within her purview, but no more and no less. Rosie is a peer and, at the heart of it, transactional. You can more or less depend on someone who's getting something out of you.

And then there's Vox.

It's often noted that Alastor prefers the company of women, but that doesn't mean he dislikes the presence of all men. There's some speculation that Alastor played mentor to Vox too, and that's quite possible. Here's this new media-personality type around with this newfangled visual approach and since Vox was middle-aged and died in the 50s, when television was only JUST becoming The Thing, he would have a more than reasonable knowledge of radio as well. Like maybe Alastor started out as kind of a mentor figure, the guy Vox went to for advice and assistance, but damn... this is a genuine peer.

But, like... you can't just go trusting people, man.

Alastor's trying to keep it transactional as with Rosie, but Vox isn't about that. He's the "we're all in this together" guy. If you're genuinely bonded, he'll back you up. He's got you. And that's just... not something Alastor can believe.

When enough people let you down, you can't even trust people with the small things, never mind the big things. When enough people don't show up for you, you start to expect it to the point where you don't even give them a chance. You ask for a small favour and when it isn't miraculously done in an arbitrary amount of time that your brain just suddenly decides has been Too Long, you assume you've been ditched, do it yourself, and never ask them again.

Who the fuck is Vox to break that?

And Vox gets it. Sorta. I don't think you can really get it unless you've been there and he's never been. But okay... Alastor's got trust issues. That's fine. That's a thing. It's not going to go away overnight. Vox can handle that. He just has to keep proving that he's there, that he's got Alastor's back. He tries to make it official... Let's join up. Professionally or personally, doesn't matter. Let's do it. You and me against the world. I totally mean that.

And Alastor can't. He just can't. And that's fine. You can't right now. That's fine. Door's open.

But, you know... it makes Alastor think. Vox is someone who's willing to put his money where his mouth is. Beyond transactional. He's willing to bet a formal alliance.

So Alastor is still in his Overlord hunting phase and he really fucks himself over. Maybe it's Zestial. Maybe it's someone he beats, but he fucks himself up doing it. Like, he's in a bad way. And cell phones aren't thing yet, but they do have radio. He could... He could call Vox. Right? He could do that?

Right?

So Vox, nascent Overlord trying to get his studio up and running, is having the worst possible day. Like, every bit of shit that could hit the fan has hit the fan and is spraying everywhere. And he gets a radio transmission from Alastor. Alastor needs him and it's... well, kind of urgent.

And here's the thing. When you don't trust people to show up for you, there is no difference between "broke my leg, but probably won't die in the next hour" urgency and "I'm bleeding out, this is life or death" emergency. Hell, even admitting urgency is a bit much because when you routinely (if unknowingly) sabotage any attempt to assist you, putting that kind of onus on anyone fucks with your worldview.

So Vox is all, shit... I have all this and Alastor too. Well, it's urgent, so I'd better wrap up and get out there.

And he does. Pretty quickly too. Let's say it takes him about forty minutes. Forty minutes with a broken leg is horrible, but honestly... with travel and no cameras all over the city to zap around... understandable.

Forty minutes when you're bleeding out is a death sentence. Even if you can regenerate, I don't imagine it would be pleasant.

So Alastor waits, trying to first aid himself. Five. Ten. Okay, fifteen minutes and things are getting bad. He starts to find new ways to stitch himself back together.

Twenty minutes pass and what he's always suspected is true:

If you don't do it, no one else will.

So Vox shows up just after Alastor has finished helping his own self and gets the coldest reception ever recorded. What took you so long? I thought you had my back?/Hey, I came as soon as I could. You said it was urgent./Well, I needed you right away./This was as fast as I could get here short of an emergency./Well, it was an emergency./I didn't know it was an emergency! Why didn't you say it was an emergency?/You should have just been here. Obviously you can't be trusted./WTF? I dropped everything for you, you prick!

Etc.

Vox thinks this is very unfair. Very unreasonable. And it is. It's very unreasonable because it's very irrational. But also, Vox can't see the extent of the damage. Alastor won't show it now. The window for that kind of vulnerability is long gone.

Hate is love gone to seed. You hate in equal measure to what you loved. Alastor's hate is cold and disdainful. He just mocks Vox at a distance. The more cameras show up around Pentagram City, the more places he has to be condescending.

Vox's hate is hot and volatile. More so because he's confused. He's being shut out for being too slow because Alastor was hurt, but aside from a bit of blood around the place, the bastard was walking around and acting just fine. What the hell is this treatment? WTF? WTF? WTF?

They do dust up at least once — where Alastor almost beat Vox (and I contend he just up and left the fight) — but most of their fighting is just via video. Vox jeers from the screens and Alastor smirks into cameras.

And then the failed extermination happens. And Vox is thrilled when Alastor gets his ass handed to him. Like, genuinely. He loved enough to hate that much. He's genuinely pissed when Alastor gets away. Very much so.

Except, sometime later, when the Vees are making a play for the hotel, or otherwise trying to consolidate power, he gets one up on Alastor. Maybe they fight and Vox has him at his mercy. Maybe he gets captured and Vox is just lording over him. Whatever. And Vox notices that Alastor has kind of a lot of blood on him for what's been going on. For the kind of fight... For being tied up... Whatever.

And he just... needs to know. Because it's off. It's not right. And what he finds out is that the wound Adam gave Alastor hasn't healed. Not completely, or maybe not at all. Alastor's stitched it together with wishes and prayers and those don't hold so well.

And Vox wants to keep hating, because hate is addictive, but what you see through a screen and what you see in front of you are two different things and... well...

Vox... kind gets it.

Not really, because you can't know unless you've been there, but it's like... If Alastor's been walking around with this gaping wound, acting like nothing's wrong, what was he hiding back then? How much did Vox not see? It doesn't make Alastor's approach any less unreasonable, but... If he's got an angelic wound ripping him open and he doesn't feel he can ask Princess Unicorn Kisses for assistance, what does it mean that he asked Vox?

And Vox just... takes care of it. Not with any expectation... just because he didn't know back then and now he does. It's years, maybe decades too late, but he knows what he was needed for now. He couldn't be there then, but can be there now, and his side is closed. Whatever Alastor wants to make of that is whatever Alastor wants to make of that — no one's going to get over pathological levels of self-reliance in a night — but there's peace on one side.

So yeah... a bit complicated for eight episodes per season.

But holy fuck it would be hilarious if two media demons blew up their relationship over a lack of communication...

[skepticdoe]

so I just started reading ‘Mysterion Begins’ AGAIN, and if you guys don’t know what that is, it’s a 3 part K2/kysterion series with the second fic being creek centred

I definitely like this series a lot especially because of the fact that you can see the close relationship between Stan Kenny and Kyle which is something that is sometimes neglected during k2 fics

Stan is the BIGGEST worrywart in this fic and it’s nice to see him be the neurotic concerned one for once instead of Kyle. You can definitely still see the platonic Style within the series. Jimmy and Tolkein are also important recurring characters which is SO refreshing because you rarely see them in fics

anyways I LOVE this fic and you guys should totally read in ao3 <3

[animasola86]

↓ A SPECIAL KIND OF BOND MASTERPOST

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!reader x sentient sex toy Genre: Smut/Filth // Words (total): 24k // [READ ON AO3]

Synopsis: After going skinny-dipping with Sebastian, you discover that you took a little souvenir from the depths of the Black Lake with you. As unexpected as it is, it quickly grows on you - and inside you.

Tagline: If penis-shaped, why not for pleasure?

General warnings: NSFW! Very explicit sexual content! A bit of teratophilia, a pinch of tentacles (but not the big kind, just a tickle), improvised magical sex toys (it's a small squid!), masturbation, unusual insertions, vaginal and anal sex, a hint of jealousy, an unusual threesome, the desire to breed, an excessive amount of cum, strange aphrodisiacs, oral sex, and a horny couple that just won't stop. (For the complete list of tags, go here.)

Notes: This is pure filth. The most depraved work I've ever written. And it gets worse as the chapters progress. Please mind the warning tags! Below the cut is a list of all 6 chapters with little snippets and links to their respective posts. Proceed at your own risk!

→ Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 ←

Chapter 1: A Special Bond (1.2k//AO3//Tumblr)

(...) A drawn-out cry of pure ecstasy leaves your throat as your eyes roll back, and you contort in the most blissful way for a moment, hips off the bed, shoulders pressed into the mattress and knees shaking under the exertion.

The thing inside you changes its pattern, rubbing harder, half of its tentacles focused on your clit, the others joining the bigger one in your warm depths, stroking your insides through your release by pushing in and out in a strange kind of rhythm.

You're a whimpering mess as you collapse onto the bed again, body still quivering, twitching uncontrollably, your breaths as erratic as they can be, and under the forceful ministrations of those tendrils, you keep riding the high, head empty, heart thundering, mouth wide open as your noises fall past dry lips. (...)

Read more: AO3 // Tumblr

Chapter 2: A Special Guest (2.9k//AO3//Tumblr)

(...) You feel the cold current brushing against your heated centre again, a welcome refreshment after the exhausting rubbing and clenching, and you could swear you could still feel his cock twitching inside you even though it brushes against your stomach now, spent and relaxed.

You don't pay it any mind as you kiss him hungrily, rubbing your pelvis into his almost needily. Sebastian groans into your mouth, looking at you out of hooded eyes, before he complies and brings his hand back to your folds, gently caressing them before dipping his fingers back into your warmth. As he curls them inside you, you gasp against his lips, your eyes flying open as a deep shudder jolts through your body. As expertly as he usually fingers you, always finding the right spot to stimulate, you feel as if there's something else pressing against your walls, adding to the sensation.

Your breath quickens, and you can barely think about it as you come around his fingers once more, completely overwhelmed by the sudden orgasm piercing through your nerves. Tumbling against his chest, you hold onto him breathlessly, too light-headed to wonder about anything at this point. Your muscles contract, and he keeps stroking your insides with his fingertips, what he usually does to ease you down from your high, but this time it feels as if he's only pushing you further, up and up, the gentle touch too much to handle as you keep whimpering helplessly under the constant strain to your muscles.

It's when you feel both of his hands on your cheeks that your eyes fly open in slight shock, because the teasing continues inside your walls as if his fingers were still in your warmth. (...)

Read more: AO3 // Tumblr

Chapter 3: A Special Roommate (1k//AO3//Tumblr)

(...) Tilting your head, you lean slightly closer, your own eyes still wide and terrified as you think about the fact that this thing has been inside you, probably while Sebastian has fucked you against the rock as well.

That tiny thing has heightened your sexual experience, and for that reason alone, you can't be mad at it. You feel drawn to it. You reach out your other hand and extend a finger to touch it, and it flinches away at first, but then stops moving as you stroke your fingertip over its long body. It feels cold to the touch, wet and soft, and you wonder how something so squishy could have an impact on your equally squishy walls.

As if reading your mind, you feel it moving under your touch, and it seems to harden right there on your palm, its soft skin turns into something more akin to a shell, rigid and unrelenting, and you gasp quietly as you feel a pulse throbbing through its small body. That's what you've been feeling. The pinching sensation. (...)

Read more: AO3 // Tumblr

Chapter 4: A Special Need (6.2k//AO3//Tumblr)

(...) Moaning against his lips you feel the tension inside your stomach erupting into a wave of pure pleasure as it washes over you with a force that makes your thighs twitch, your toes curl and your muscles contract violently, and in doing so you feel your insides convulsing, moving, and in your haze you barely feel the gentle caresses of these eight little arms you've grown to love so much over the last weeks. Yet once you realize that the squid is about to slip from your bum, it is already too late.

Despite being caught in his own haze as he ruts into your core with reckless abandon, he seems to feel the foreign touch as well, and you see it all unfold in slow motion. You feel too weak to do anything as your orgasm still shudders through your body, as your walls clamp down on his cock, your limbs too twitchy to control, so when his brown eyes widen slowly before he leans back on his knees and stares down at your connection, you don't have to see the tentacles wrapping themselves around his base to know what's going on.

With a deep growl that could also be a yelp or guttural scream, Sebastian jolts off you, slips from your depths as if you've never even been connected, and takes several steps away from the couch, completely ignoring his precum leaking cock, as his shaking hand points at the small creature crawling over your centre. Yet it's not the fact that there is a strange little squid seemingly coming from nowhere that has touched him at the most inappropriate time, it's the fact that you remain so calm and collected as you lie on your back, looking from the squid to your boyfriend and back, and not sharing in his panic.

That's when he explodes.

“What the fuck is that?” he yells with an anger you haven't heard from him in years. (...)

Read more: AO3 // Tumblr

Chapter 5: A Special Night (3.6k//AO3//Tumblr)

(...) You feel so full you can barely breathe, barely think. Your chest is pressed into the cushions of the couch, head turned, eyes squeezed shut, tears of bliss and exhaustion spilling from your lashes. Your rear is raised, hips held by two strong hands, wet squelching noises fill the room with every rapid thrust into your stretched hole as a warm body slams against your cushioned backside.

Your mouth hangs open, saliva dripping from the corner, unintelligible noises tumbling over swollen lips. You feel hot and cold at the same time, goosebumps rippling over your skin like waves, shivers and shudders crawling under your skin, as you flinch and wince with every motion directed against your core.

And it's not just the thick cock pressed into your tight little bum, trying to penetrate as deep as your bowels, it's the thing squirming inside your erratically clenching cunt that seems to drive the pace of this whole endeavour.

The not-so-little-anymore squid thrashes between your convulsing walls, hard and rigid and seemingly bigger than ever before as it fills you out completely, to the point you feel your entrance gaping as its eight tentacles slither in and out, assaulting your clit, rubbing and flicking and pulling, each of them pressing against your sensitive skin teasingly. (...)

Read more: AO3 // Tumblr

Chapter 6: A Special Kind of Liquid (8.8k//AO3//Tumblr)

(...) Loud groans and grunts fill your ears as you lie beneath Sebastian's broad body, motionless, spent and at your absolute limit, yet he doesn't seem to care as he ruts into you with unrelenting speed and power, pounding his length deep inside your tight space, each stab accompanied by wet squelching noises followed by shrill squeaks falling from your aching throat every time he prods your cervix almost brutally.

It feels as if he's splitting you right open, his weight and strength pushing you into the cushions, fingers gripping soft flesh, adding to the already existing bruises. And deep inside you is a throbbing sensation, making your muscles clench tighter and tighter around whatever occupies your cavities. You cry out soundlessly, body squirming and writhing, fighting the overwhelming assault on your senses.

Something warm floods your bowels, that burning liquid, oozing from the squid, seeping into your flesh, numbing the tension. You feel it stirring inside you, woken by the ruthless pistoning of the thick cock, whose bulging veins scrape over your sensitive flesh, whose thick head almost pierces your womb, whose girthy shaft rubs along your stretched entrance. Heavy balls slap against your bum, causing the creature lodged within to move with every thrust.

Your mind slips then, as exhaustion grips you, pulls you along, drags you into the darkness as everything happening to you fades to black... (...)

Read more: AO3 // Tumblr

→ Tumblr links: Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6

→ AO3 link: A Special Kind of Bond

[ MASTERLIST ] [ AO3 ]

[plaidos]

hi !! sorry if this isnt the type of questions you usually answer, im just a little confused and you always know your stuff !! i JUST finished act 5 and watched cascade ! the trouble is, im a little lost with all the plot threads being tied together. do you have any resources to understand better whats going on, or should i move forward with the story to see where it leads ?

dont worry! this is totally normal.

so my first piece of advice i always give about understanding the longer more dramatic [S] pages is to watch them multiple times. it’s even worth finding a youtube video so you can scrub through and pause on specific scenes etc. Homestuck was designed to be analysed apart by an entire fandom, with individual frames being picked apart on social media minutes after the new updates dropped and these more dramatic sequences like to line up lots of incredible “pay-offs” to plot threads that have been unravelling for hundreds or thousands of pages. don’t be afraid to rewatch flash pages or jump back to sections you’ve already read for a refresher!

also, i often recommend a website made by a friend of mine — Acts and Pages — that acts as a sort of “reader’s guide” to Homestuck. technically it’s for returning readers (it makes little attempt to hide potential spoilers & displays Homestuck’s structure front and centre which i would consider a metaspoiler) and Rafe abhors it when i give it out to new readers so read at your own risk, but in hosting my homestuck liveread workshops i’ve found it really useful to sum up and explain in words rather than visual language what just happened. good luck!

[feminist-furby-freak]

Following after seeing your take on pregnancy and childbirth! It's refreshing to see as it does appear radblr can verge on antinatalism occasionally.

Understanding how significant and transformation birth can be, how it underpins the bond between mother and child and is crucial to societal cohesion - is still not synonymous with 'women are breeders and having children is awful and disgusting and women who want to be mothers have been brainwashed.'

I really think if society was more centred towards women and children instead of this male version we currently live in, having and raising children would be a lot easier and actually enjoyable for women.

For 95 percent of human civilization women were assisted with child rearing on a ratio of 15 caregivers to one child. Modern women have 3-4 alternative caregivers if they are lucky and extremely supported today. It's just so obvious to me why it's so difficult, we're all separated trying to do it alone when that's never how child rearing worked.

Random vent! But love to see rad doulas x

I totally agree. And I do understand why many radfems lean antinatalist when in our current patriarchal world pregnancy and motherhood are (very often) tools for oppressing women. The natural birth movement has largely been co-opted by the “women’s true purpose is to have babies” Christian extremist crowd but I’m lucky to live in a progressive city where this isn’t the case. I’m doing my thesis on childbirth and feminism and I’ll see if it there is a way to share it on here when it’s finished without doxxing myself.

[otherperson12]

The Chronicles of Narnia: Through the looking glass

Edmund Pevensie x fem! Reader

Ch.1: The scottish house

After a total of one boat, three trains, and a taxi over ten days of relentless travel, she arrived in Scotland with her two brothers and her mother. To be exact, they arrived in Perth. Her mother had distant relatives there, who kindly welcomed them for a few days.

They didn’t have many belongings – two suitcases per person and one extra common one, filled with items they simply couldn’t leave in France at the mercy of the Nazis.

They arrived at a large house, far from the village, that stood proudly in the vast valley, surrounded by a flower-filled garden. The house was made of stone, covered in moss and vines that clung to every wall, with small windows here and there, framed in white. It looked like one of those old castles from the fairy tales her mother used to read to them as children.

As they crossed the garden, she felt a strange chill down her spine, the kind that makes you turn around to see what caused it. Or that’s what she always did.

A large oak door stood before them, with a brass knocker in the centre, bearing the symbol of a thistle. Her mother knocked on the door with the knocker. A man opened the door, he was thin, and his face exuded anything but humility. With white skin, blue eyes, and slicked-back hair, he greeted them.

“Good morning, how can I help you?” he asked, with an air of arrogance. “Good morning. My name is Grizel, I’m Sir Roger’s niece.” “Ah, Lady Grizel. Come in.”

Inside, the cold of the stone was palpable. The wooden floorboards creaked, and the walls were anything but comforting. Instead of paintings and tapestries, as she had expected, there were animal heads, swords, and hunting rifles.

“What pride. It seems to be contagious,” she thought.

The proud man who greeted them made them wait for a moment while he notified Sir Roger of their arrival. For some reason, she began to comb her younger brother’s hair in the same way her mother adjusted the jacket of her older brother. When they heard footsteps approaching, they stopped what they were doing and stood up straight.

Before the proud man, an older man approached with his arms outstretched and a grin from ear to ear. “My dear niece.” Her mother put the suitcases down on the floor and moved to hug her uncle tightly. The man took the woman by the shoulders, pulled her away, and with a radiant smile, studied her face as if recalling the moment when she was a little girl.

Politely, offering her his arm, they slowly approached them. The man kept smiling as he watched. “And what do we have here? They must be your children.” Her mother introduced them one by one: the two boys, Oliver and Jamie, aged 15 and 7, respectively, and then left her to be introduced last, aged 13.

Sir Roger led them to the library, where he offered them some tea before they could refresh themselves from the journey. The proud man was called Thomas, the house’s butler. She believed that for some reason, he hadn’t been able to enlist in the army and had simply stayed working in the service. Perhaps he was too proud to be a soldier. He took their luggage, along with their coats and hats, before stepping away.

She sat beside Jamie as she hugged him and began to study Sir Roger. He was tall and burly, wearing a military uniform, although instead of trousers, he wore a kilt and woollen stockings. On his jacket were several medals, likely from the previous war. Before she could focus on his face, Thomas returned, followed by a maid carrying a tray full of biscuits and small snacks.

“Ah, just in time. Thank you, Thomas,” said Sir Roger in a calm tone. He then addressed them, “Please, help yourselves. You must be hungry.”

Since neither Oliver, Jamie, nor her mother moved, she gently removed her arms from her younger brother and made her way to the table where the trays with food and steaming tea had been placed. The maid offered to serve her, but she politely declined.

In a few minutes, the newcomers were drinking hot tea and filling their stomachs with biscuits. Sir Roger poured himself a small glass of whisky and asked Thomas and the maid to leave them alone. The atmosphere turned serious. “Now,” the man began, “I want to know whose idea it was to travel, because I know it wasn’t my niece’s.”                                                          

A brief silence. She stared at him firmly, trying not to show any irritation from his last remark. No one said anything; Sir Roger first turned to Oliver, as if the answer was the most obvious one, then to her.

"It was you, my dear," he remarked, looking at the girl.

"Yes, sir." A pause. "Alright."

[garadinervi]

Alabaster DePlume, Cremisan: Prologue To A Blade, (EP/Digital album), International Anthem, 2024

Honeycomb written, arranged, and mixed by Angus Fairbairn Performed by Alabaster DePlume and Sami El Enani Engineered by Angus Fairbairn

Cremisan written and arranged by Angus Fairbairn and Laith Ziad Albandak Performed by Alabaster DePlume and Laith Albandak Engineered by Radio Alhara

Gifts of Olive written, arranged, and mixed by Angus Fairbairn Performed by Alabaster DePlume Engineered by Angus Fairbairn

Honeycomb recorded in the Wonder Cabinet, Bethlehem, Palestine Cremisan recorded live in the Cremisan Valley, Bethlehem, Palestine Gifts of Olive recorded at Total Refreshment Centre, Dalston, London

If I must die from Gifts of Olive references the poet Refaat Alareer (1979-2023)

Cover image by Mikaela Burstow

Plus: Alabaster DePlume, Looking for my value: Prologue to a blade, (book), Design by Jamie Coull, Cover art by Ian Wright, Limited Edition, 2024

(Extra) Links: Radio Alhara, Edward Said National Conservatory of Music

[treason-and-plot]

Connor walks to his car parked in the council carpark behind the Llama Bar, trying to analyze his feelings. Chief among them is shock, followed by something he is having difficulty identifying, but which has lodged a cold hard ball in the centre of his chest. The streets are deserted, and he can still hear laughter and conversation from the Llama Bar, floating through the air on a raft of smooth Jazz music. The hardness in his chest grows denser and colder. Then his phone buzzes. He scoffs at the name that appears on the screen.

“Connor,” says Saffron. “I need a favour.”

“Really,” says Connor. Saffron explains that she left her Introductory Macroeconomics book in her school locker and without it she can’t study for their test on Monday.

“Can I borrow your copy?” she says.

“I need my copy,” he says. “I need to study too, obviously.”

“Maybe we could study together?” says Saffron. “You still need tutoring, right? I mean, you did really badly on that test last week. I saw your mark when Mrs Fisher was passing back the papers. 45%. Ouch.”

“I thought you didn’t want to tutor me anymore,” says Connor.

“Listen, Connor. I need your text book and you need my help,” says Saffron. “It’s a simple barter transaction. You do remember what bartering is, don’t you? The direct exchange of goods or services for other goods or services without reference to money or money value. Economics 101.”  

“Yeah, thanks for the refresher,” says Connor. “Okay, I’m in. Do you want me to come over now? The book’s in my car.”

“Now? Sure,” says Saffron. “Wait. Are you alone?”

“Oh, yeah,” says Connor. “Totally alone."

[inspector-montoya-fox]

let me hop onto this kinda underrated but definitely outdated post for a minute and ask: did Dr Michael PhD know about Clockwerk? it's not like i want the owl to be the ultimate catalyst in Sly's life - he was the end-all be-all for two games, it was time to move on for sure - but at the same time murdering an entire lineage of raccoons isn't um something you stumble upon everyday ?

i know how enticing it can be to want to connect all the dots when writing sequels and i'm so happy SP didn't pull a Roman Bridger told Billy Loomis to become Ghostface with Clockwerk and Dr Michael. actually, when you think about it, Sly 3 resists the urge to bring up Clockwerk in any way, which is very respectable. the way the game connects to the other two is through the aftermath of ClockLa (which is hardly mentioned) and returning villains as new gang members. if we removed those from the equation, Sly 3 could be a standalone entry. it's a very refreshing game after, again, two games that centre around Clockwerk and his subsequent resurrection but it's also a bit jarring to think that he is barely (or not at all?) mentioned during a game that involves two characters who worked for him as well as one who used his own tail feathers. at times it feels like the game is deliberately going out of its way to tiptoe around the subject.

personally, Honour Among Thieves left a lot to be desired, especially as the final episode not only of the game but of the series. more specifically, i love Dr Michael's conversation with Bentley so much but i feel like it was too little too late. i get that it acted as a climax for the 'Bentley wants to step out of Sly's shadow' storyline but the conversation gave birth to so many huge implications that it felt like we were just then getting to the juicy bits. why does Dr Michael have such vitriol for ConnEr Cooper? what happened between the gang members? was ConnEr truly a piece of shit or is it all Dr Michael's perspective? did every Cooper have a Bentley and Murray figure in their life?

whereas the player got to know Neyla through her various appearances throughout Sly 2, Dr Michael's character development is put on pause due to the fact that Sly 3's episodes aren't interconnected via the common thread of "a gang of villains". as a result, many questions arise in the final episode and never get answered. one of them being: what's his connection to Clockwerk? as highlighted in the paragraph above, there are other questions that are easily prioritised over this one because they are pointed at during the conversation with Bentley. that being said, it feels a bit bizarre for Dr Michael to not even bring up Clockwerk once. when he first sees Sly he thinks it's ConnEr, which raises the question 'does he even know about Clockwerk murdering ConnEr in the first place?' that's definitely one possibility. the gang dispersed and when ConnEr settled down as a family man, that's when Clockwerk came into the picture. ok! probable scenario...

... but idk i'm not really buying it. i don't want to be the tin foil hat girlie and i'm truly not, like in terms of narrative logic it makes total sense. but from a consistency standpoint, how can you create a character that is actually portrayed as more of an omnipresent, all-powerful entity, the literal embodiment of evil, to then just have him go *poof* ? Clockwerk is the stain on the Cooper legacy, the Cooper killer and Dr Michael, who prides himself on hating ConnEr so much, has no idea who he is? the evil scientist who is infatuated with the Coopers and creates animal hybrids doesn't know about the owl robot that survives on Cooper hate? mama what are the odds. again, i'm against trying to unnecessarily connect all the dots, but even a mention would suffice. cutscene appearance even. like what if Dr Michael acted as this Judas figure who approached Clockwerk post gang breakup and spilled on how to track down ConnEr or some sort of secret? it would also help flesh out Clockwerk's character posthumously, which i find so clever. this is something discussed on the new episode of Safehouse Chats btw (shameless plug-in sis), where we debate whether or not Clockwerk benefits from being shrouded in total mystery. as for my initial question? i think Dr Michael bottomed for Clockwerk. block me

[formulauno98]

Once Upon a Time in France | Chapter Eight // Part Two

Life is funny, the way it can turn on its head in a matter of seconds. Sometimes it happens naturally, sometimes it's helped along by friends or foes, and in your case, it would be the latter.

Word Count: 8.2k

Warnings: Angsty angst (Sorry guys!)

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction, no-one is married in this alt-universe.

SATURDAY AM

Following your x-rated beach romp, you and Toto had decided it was wise to spend the night apart as your motorhomes were so far away from each other and yours was in sight of prying eyes, aka Lara. You tossed and turned all night, having gotten used to falling asleep in the comfort of Toto’s arms, so when you woke early on Saturday morning you felt anything but refreshed.

Rubbing your eyes, you leant across your bed to reach for your phone where it was charging. Three new messages.

(08:03) Morning my love. The FIA has called a meeting so I can’t go yet. I promise I will go afterwards. I hope you are okay and got some sleep. X

(08:10) Actually I will go now. X

(08:21) Ignore that, Stefano caught me. I am so sorry I know you are worried. X

You knew it was going to be tricky this morning and sighed as you considered the possible consequences of last night's actions. Surely a one-time slip-up was not going to get you pregnant, and as he said, Toto was a slightly older man, but then again stranger things had happened.

You typed out a reply.

Morning, hope you slept okay too. No worries, I will ask around in the medical centre just in case. Don’t panic xx

Groaning as you got out of bed, you quickly got ready for the day, trying your best to cover up the dark circles that had appeared under your eyes. So much for a romantic getaway and relieving stress.

———

As you strode through the paddock towards the medical centre, you prayed you wouldn’t run into anyone you knew. For once luck was on your side and you made it unscathed and uninterrupted to the small motorhome normally reserved for injured drivers or mechanics who had had an accident.

Knocking awkwardly on the door, you hoped someone would be there already. 

“Come in.” called out a voice from inside. 

Opening the door, you took a deep breath. “Hi, how are you?” you said to the woman sitting inside the trailer.

“Very well thank you, how can I help?”

Suddenly feeling incredibly vulnerable, you shifted nervously, “Well… the thing is, I was wondering if you happen to have the morning-after pill?”

The woman’s eyes widened in surprise, it was obviously not a common request during race weekend.

“Oh.” she said, taken aback, “Let me see. I’m not sure if we do to be totally honest.”

She busied herself at the shelving unit behind where she had been sat, rifling through boxes and boxes of pills and potions.

“Ooh you’re in luck,” she said, pulling out a dusty-looking box.

“For real?” you thanked whatever Gods were currently watching over you.

“Hang on, hang on, I think it’s out of date.” she said, scanning the box, “I’m so sorry, you can’t take it if it’s expired, it won’t work.”

“Shit.” you said under your breath, “Do you think anywhere nearby will have them?”

The woman grimaced, “To be honest no, but I could ask the paramedics to bring some when they come up later?”

Your eyes lit up, “Oh my gosh if you could that would be amazing! Can I leave you my phone number?”

“I can’t promise but I will try.” the woman said kindly, “Sure, let me grab a pen and paper and I’ll call you if they bring them.”

You quickly scrawled your number on the post-it note, thanking the woman profusely for her help before making your way back towards the Mercedes hospitality area. Hopefully, it meant that you would be okay. Not sure if Toto was still in the FIA meeting you decided to drop him a text.

Good news, I went to the medical centre and they’re going to get it for me. Panic over xx

As you walked along you felt your phone buzz. He was obviously out of the meeting.

Good 

From the length of his text, perhaps he was still in the meeting. A weight off your mind, you felt much better about the day before you as you made your way up to your office.

“Morning Y/N.” It was a joy to see the friendly face of Rosie as you walked through the hospitality area.

“Hey Rosie, how are you?” you said, stopping to chat for a minute.

“Good thanks, George is being a weirdo though,” she said, her pretty face screwed up.

“What, how come?” you said, concerned as she’d never complained to you about her normally doting boyfriend.

“I don’t know. He didn’t want me to stay in his motorhome last night,” she said, her eyes looking like they were on the brink of tears.

“Aw no Rosie,” you said, slipping an arm around her shoulders, “I’m sure he was just getting into the racing mindset.”

“But we always stay together now,” she said sadly.

A sudden thought hit you, “I wonder, his motorhome is more or less attached to Toto’s. Maybe he was uncomfortable with it?”

Rosie’s eyes lit up, “Oh, maybe! But Toto wouldn’t say anything,” she lowered her voice, “Especially not when you’re there.”

“I wasn’t actually,” you said absentmindedly.

“Really?” asked Rosie.

“I promise. We both needed a rest,” you said tactfully.

“Oh, ok, this makes me feel better,” she said, looking much happier than she had done a moment ago.

“Happy to help. Honestly, I’m sure that’s it,” you said reassuringly.

“Thanks, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she said, smiling.

“Probably more of your job,” you said laughing. “Right, I have to go and actually work, I’ll see you 

around okay?”

“See you,” Rosie said as you made your way towards the stairs up to your office.

———

The morning flew by, full of endless calls and emails. But you still hadn’t heard a peep from Toto. Starting to get concerned, you were about to drop him a text when he came bursting into your office.

“Well hello stranger,” you said smiling, your face immediately dropping as you saw his thunderous expression.

“Did you not see?” he asked exasperatedly.

“See what?” you asked, wondering what could have him in such a panic. Was it a car emergency? Was 

one of the drivers sick?

Toto sat down on your small sofa, his head in his hands. “Sky.”

“Sky?” you repeated. “They’re normally okay, what happened?”

“Christian,” he said. 

At this point you were concerned, Toto had a temper but this wordless fury was something you’d never seen before.

“Toto, I know Christian’s a dick. What’s new?” you said.

As he’d been scrolling through his phone, Toto had found the clip he was looking for and silently passed it across the table. It was footage from after the FIA meeting. Sky had collared Toto and Christian and they were side by side looking deeply uncomfortable.

“So, any upgrades for this weekend Toto?” asked Johnny, the Sky reporter.

Just as Toto had opened his mouth to answer, Christian butted in, “Toto’s got himself a whole new ride, didn’t you hear Johnny?”

Although Johnny was off camera, you could tell that he was uncomfortable from his response, “What do you mean Christian?”

“He’s got a hot, young girlfriend following him around the paddock,” said Christian smugly.

Beside him, Toto looked beyond furious, as if he was trying his hardest not to punch Christian then and 

there.

Ever the professional, Johnny replied, “That’s interesting Christian, but I think our viewers are more interested in Mercedes’ performance for the weekend as opposed to Toto’s. No offence Toto, I’m sure your new girlfriend is a lovely woman. Lucky lady!”

Pausing the video, you interjected, “This is not so bad Toto! Johnny handled it well.”

“No, there’s more,” said Toto glumly.

Playing the video once more, Christian quipped back “But Johnny you know her!”

“Do I?” asked the confused reporter.

“Yes, she’s their Director of Communications, Y/N, the one who’s always on Toto’s arm.” 

You could see Toto sitting across from you, balling his fists in silent rage, while on the video he looked livid once again.

To give him his due, Johnny tried to save the situation, “Well that’s lovely. Congratulations Toto, so I’ll try one more time. What upgrades have you brought?”

Stopping the video you sat back in your chair, feeling sick to your stomach.

“Fuck.” you said, looking at Toto.

“Fuck indeed,” he said. “I want to kill Christian.”

“Me too,” you said. “What is actually wrong with that man?”

Toto just shook his head, too angry to speak. As if on cue, your phone suddenly buzzed multiple times. It was the Comms Team Whatsapp group, blowing up as they had all seen the interview.

What’s this about you and Toto? 

OMG! Is this true?

Wtf is he on about?

“Fuck.” you exclaimed, once again, looking at Toto pleadingly. “It’s my team, all asking if it’s true.”

Toto sighed, rubbing his forehead, a nervous tic that always emerged when he was feeling the pressure. “Let me think for a moment.”

Sitting there awkwardly, you began to scroll through your email when a new one pinged through. It was from Pamela from HR, asking you to meet her on Monday. She’d obviously seen the video too and was not happy. 

“HR wants to see me on Monday,” you said fearfully.

“For real?” he replied, “Don’t talk to them I will.”

‘Toto…” you started.

“Don’t. It’s not fair for them to take it out on you,” he said, his eyes now full of concern. “I don’t say this often but I own a third of the team. What are they going to say to me?”

“That’s true.” you said, “Although now I have to handle this with our team and the media.”

Toto stood up, crossing over to where you sat, bending down to meet you at eye level, and taking your hands in his. “Look Y/N, it will be okay. We can downplay it with the team and I will take care of HR so you don’t need to worry?”

“Sure.” You said, “I hate that man.”

“Me too.” said Toto, leaning forward to nuzzle your neck, “I don’t want him to ruin things before they even have a chance to begin.”

“Me neither,” you said, kissing him softly square on the lips.

“Don’t worry, I will fix this.” he said, breaking the kiss, “I had better go. Let’s reconvene in the garage later.”

“Thank you,” you said.

———

Unlike your usual confident self, this situation had reduced you to hiding in your office for the rest of the morning, dreading the moment you had to walk into the garage later on. You knew eyes would be on you and Toto as Sky interviews tended to gain the most traction amongst the paddock.

Your phone had continued to blow up all morning, the only saving grace being that thankfully the news seemed to be very much contained within the Formula One microcosm so you had yet to face any scrutiny from your family and friends.

When the time came to make your way down, you stood up, straightening your team shirt and took some deep breaths. Nothing had really changed and you had to remember your trusty mantra, as the saying goes, today's news is tomorrow's chip paper. Hoping that qualifying would gloss over this bump, you got moving.

Entering the garage you were absolutely correct in your fears that eyes would be on you. Engineers who never normally blinked all did a double take, curious to see what all the fuss was about. Fortunately, Lewis came to your rescue.

“Hey Y/N, how's it going?” he said, hooking an arm over your shoulder in some kind of side hug.

“Good thanks, well… I’ve had better days. How are you?” you asked, managing a smile for the charming driver.

“Ah, don’t worry, people don’t care that much,” he said, aware of exactly what was bothering you.

“Tell that to HR,” you said quietly.

“HR?” Lewis’ eyebrows shot up, “Can’t Toto like overrule them?”

You smiled weakly, “That’s what he said.” 

“Yeah he will, don’t worry.” said Lewis, “I need to go and see the big man, want to go together so it’s less weird?”

Really appreciative of Lewis’ ability to navigate any social situation you nodded, following him through the maze of engineering equipment strewn around.

“Hey boss!” said Lewis, clapping his hands on the back of Toto’s shoulders where he sat hunched over a monitor, glowering.

Turning around Toto looked surprised to see you alongside Lewis. “Hello.” was all he managed.

“You okay?” asked Lewis, clearly concerned for his normally confident boss.

“Yes, sorry,” said Toto, turning back around to face the monitor.

Exchanging a puzzled look with you Lewis added, “I came over to ask you about this upgrade package.”

Tuning out their technical discussion your eyes swept the garage. Maybe Lewis was right and people really didn’t care. No one was giving you a second look, maybe all was well.

“Y/N.” you snapped out of your thoughts as Tom approached you, “Can I have a word?”

“Hi Tom,” you said somewhat robotically, “Sure, but I do have a lot to go through with this lot. Is it urgent?”

Looking bashful Tom replied, “No no it can wait. Talk later.” As he walked off you could see his eyes going back and forth between you and Toto. 

———

You weren't surprised, you knew that the team would be curious about your newly revealed relationship and Tom was always the first to find out gossip. As much as you felt guilty for keeping them in the dark, another part of you thought about the fact that the relationship was still very new and it would be extremely awkward at this point if it weren't to work out. Deciding to bite the bullet, you settled down on the stool beside Toto.

“Hey,” you said.

Toto flicked his head around quickly, barely acknowledging you with a quick “Hi” before going back to studying his monitor. On any other occasion his innate awkwardness would have made you laugh but today it felt as if it was apt.

SATURDAY PM

As qualifying got underway Toto barely took a second glance at you, something that as much as you wouldn't want to admit it put you out. He was always normally sneaking glances in the garage and the fact that now he was actively avoiding you was almost insulting. To make matters worse Lara had decided to come and sit down in the garage and you could feel her mean eyes boring into your back. You still couldn't understand her problem and you were absolutely sure that it ran deeper than just the fact that Toto had seen with the engineer. But that was another issue for another day.

Unfortunately, the day was going from bad to worse as you could see that Lewis and George were both struggling during qualifying. You knew it was especially bad when Bono, normally the world's calmest man, looked like he was about to panic. He was looking thoroughly perturbed by the results that he was seeing on his monitor and was struggling to keep cool on the radio as he spoke to Lewis.

Ultimately neither of the drivers made it out of Q2, a disappointing result for the team and one that definitely was not going to help Toto's bad mood. As the two drivers came in, hanging their heads in shame, you tried to get a little nearer to Toto to see to gauge what he wanted to do next. However, in the place of your normally warm boss turned boyfriend, you were met with a cold shoulder. He dismissed you every time you tried to get his attention, at one point spinning around so that his back was to you.

Pissed off by the way he was acting, you silently slid off of your stool and made your way over to Tom.

“Hey Tom, what was it that you wanted to speak about earlier?” you asked, still glancing over at Toto who looked positively raging.

Looking nervous Tom stuttered, “Well, that interview this morning… what was that? Is it true?”

You sighed, lowering your voice, “Look, Toto and I are close. You know that. But what Christian said is not true. He was just trying to wind up Toto once again.”

Tom looked slightly relieved at the news, “Thank fuck for that!”

Surprised by his reaction, you asked, “Why?”

Tom also lowered his voice, sneaking glances across the garage, “Well, he’s… Toto. He’s old and grumpy as fuck. I like him a lot but I couldn’t imagine you two…”

You laughed, “Naw, he’s a big old softie really.”

Tom’s eyes lit up, “Oh my God, it is true!”

Crossing your arms, you protested, “Not at all! I just think he gets a bad wrap.”

“Sure sure,” said Tom unconvinced, his eyes still playing tennis between you and Toto, who was now snapping at a poor engineer who seemed to have done something to displease him, “Such a catch.”

“Tom..” you said warningly. “Don’t you have some sponsors to be looking after anyway?”

“They all left for the day.” he said smugly, “I came down here to make sure Ben and Louis got some content with Lewis drinking Monster Energy.”

“Well then, maybe you should be doing that,” you said coldly, not thrilled with the way Tom was speaking to you, his manager.

He looked surprised by your cool tone but nodded in agreement, “Right boss. See you later.”

Your eyes still on Toto, you barely acknowledged Tom leaving your side. Thankfully, Sophie appeared as if from nowhere, always eager to help.

“Hi Y/N.” she said cheerily, her enthusiasm never going down, “How’s everything?”

“Great thank you,” you said, trying to buoy your mood.

“Is there anything I can help with?” Sophie asked eagerly.

“Yes actually, I have a few potential sponsors coming down tomorrow and I’d love to gift them some team merchandise, could you please organise this with Mo? I’ll forward you the email.”

“Sure,” said Sophie brightly, “Y/N, can I ask you something?”

Sighing, you braced yourself for a repeat of the conversation that you’d just had with Tom.

“Of course,” you said, trying to remain level-headed.

“Do you think I could invite a friend to a race soon?”

This was not what you were expecting at all, “Oh my gosh, of course, let me know which race and you can have some of my paddock pass allowance.”

Sophie looked thrilled, “Really? Thank you so much, you’re the best boss!”

Smiling, you replied, “Just let me know when.”

“Thank you, thank you!” she exclaimed, “Also, I hope this is not out of line but…”

“You saw the Sky interview?” you interjected.

“Yes,” she said meekly.

“Christian Horner is always looking for ways to wind up Toto. If you pardon my French, he was talking shit. As usual.”

Sophie looked a little shocked, “Oh. Okay, that makes sense, but isn’t that slander?”

“I suppose,” you said nonchalantly, knowing full well you couldn’t accuse him of that.

“That’s so weird of him.” She said, “Toto looks so angry, I’ve never seen him like this.”

You shrugged, “He gets like this sometimes.”

Sophie grimaced, “Well, good luck for your meeting with him. I will go back and sort the gifting for you.”

“Thanks, Sophie,” you said, grateful for your assistant. As annoying as she could be sometimes, her 

heart was in the right place and you were growing fonder of her by the day.

———

As you waited in Toto’s office for your usual post-qualifying debrief, you were nervous. He hadn’t ever been this cold towards you and you hoped beyond hope that Christian hadn’t ruined everything. The clock ticked on, and by the time he stormed in, he was twenty minutes late, again something very unlike him.

“Hi,” he said, taking his seat across from you and whipping out his iPad.

“Well hello to you too,” you said, put out by his abrupt tone.

“Sorry. I am just not in the mood,” he said, his shoulders tense as he furiously typed something on his iPad.

‘Okay.” you said, sensing that maybe it was time to go, “I can leave you in peace?”

Toto sighed, “No I don’t want that. Sorry”

“It’s okay, to be honest, what is there to say?” you said.

“Lots.” he said, slamming his iPad shut, “I’ve had the Board on the phone, they’re pissed.”

Your mouth dropped open, “The Board?”

“Yes.” he said wearily, “They’re not happy with me.”

“Fuck, Toto,” you said, not sure what to say.

“Indeed.” he said sharply, “After I spoke to HR, they told me that the Board requested they meet with you. Y/N they want you gone.”

Tears welling in your eyes, you thought about everything that had transpired, “Well. Then I guess we have no choice.”

Toto looked at you pleadingly, “No, we do. Pushing my feelings for you completely to one side, you are the best Director of Communications our team has ever had.”

“Well there have only been three...” you said, wiping away a tear.

“Oh shut up.” said Toto, “You’ve raised a hell of a lot of sponsorship money, appeased people who were going to jump ship and managed the press brilliantly. Not to mention onboarded new sponsors that no one else ever would have considered.”

Giving Toto a small smile, you replied, “Well all in a day's work.”

“Exactly, so I don’t see how they can let you go,” Toto said, reaching across his desk to take your hand in his. “You need to argue your case.”

“Okay,” you said weakly.

“Did anyone ask you about the interview?” Toto asked, his demeanour now shifted back to concerned boyfriend.

“A few people, how about you?” you gulped, trying to stop crying.

“Same.” Toto said, “Don’t cry please, I don’t like it when you cry.”

“You’ve never seen me cry, what are you on about?” you said, wiping another stray tear.

“Yes I have,” he said indignantly. “Remember in Baku?”

Casting your mind back, you remembered. You’d cried when you thought about all the things people would say if they found out about you and Toto. “Oh yes,” you said quietly. “I wasn’t wrong was I?”

“Shh.” said Toto, wiping away your tears with his thumb, “No one is saying anything like that. Bono said he didn’t believe it because you’re too good for the likes of me.”

Shaking your head, you replied shakily, “Bullshit.”

“He’s not wrong.” said Toto, “If you saw us in the street together, you’d think wow, lucky guy punching above his weight. He must be loaded or have a really big dick.”

Snorting with laughter, you replied, “Well then they wouldn’t be wrong.”

Toto rolled his eyes, “You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t actually,” you said, your tears having dried up. “Toto, I love you for you, not for your money or your clout or your just slightly larger than average dick.”

“Just slightly larger than average?” Toto said, raising his eyebrow, “Shit, that hurts.”

“That’s what she said,” you said with a smirk. “Joking aside, you’re so kind, you’re so patient, you make everyone around you feel valued. These aren’t common traits, especially not in some bigshot 

businessman.”

Toto looked pleased with himself, “I try.”

“You succeed,” you said, leaning across and kissing him on the corner of his mouth.

“Okay, so we have a plan,” said Toto. “And if anyone asks about us in the meantime, denial is not just a 

river in Egypt?”

You burst out laughing, “Jesus, 1982 called, it wants its joke back. Yes, that’s what I’ve been doing all morning.”

Toto shook his head, “You’re so mean to me.”

SUNDAY PM

As disastrous as qualifying had been, it was nothing compared to the race itself. George had suffered damage to his front wing early on after a small collision and was stuck in P14 behind a DRS train. Lewis wasn’t faring much better and was trundling on at P5, a considerable gap to make up if he wanted a podium.

Morale in the garage was at an all-time low and despite your chat the previous afternoon, Toto had reverted back to his bad mood. You'd once again spent the night apart due to the inconspicuous sleeping arrangements so you'd hardly seen him until you'd arrived in the garage.

He had snapped at Sophie, something that you would be having a word with him about and grumbled at the catering team about his coffee being too hot. All in all, not the man you knew and loved.

By the time the race was coming to a close, George was still floundering at P9, having fought for a few measly points and Lewis continued to run his own race in no-man's land at P5. It was the worst performance of the season and a rare slip-up for your well-oiled team. Frustratingly Red Bull were P1 and P2, meaning they would gain a significant amount of points, letting them pull ahead further in the Constructors Championship.

As the two Mercedes crossed the chequered flag, the garage weakly applauded, more out of politeness than enthusiasm. You clocked that Toto wasn’t joining in, looking utterly dejected.

Knowing that Sky wanted to talk to him, you apprehensively made your way over.

“Hey boss,” you said weakly, careful not to give anything away once again as you knew that your colleagues were still deeply suspicious.

“Hello.” he said, “Sky wants me?”

“Yes.” you said, “Shall we go?”

“If I have to,” said Toto.

Behind him Bono caught your eye, winking at you before teasing. “Damn, Christian Horner is right, the sexual tension. It’s palpable.”

Smirking at the goofy race engineer you replied sarcastically, “I know right.”

Toto however, was not amused. “Bono now is not the time.”

“You’re right, sorry boss,” said Bono, catching your eye once again and making a face.

Toto strode off, leaving you struggling to catch up, almost having to pick up a light jog.

“Hey, slow down big man,” you said, as you finally caught him up.

“Sorry.” he said, “I just want this over and done with.”

Concerned as you’d never seen Toto so down in the dumps you tried to reassure him, “It’s fine, we had a shit weekend, it happens. At least we’re not Haas.”

Offering you a small smile, Toto seemed to rally around a little. “That’s true.”

You soon reached the Sky podium where Johnny, Jenson and Naomi, the three presenters, were eagerly waiting for Toto.

As the production team miked him up, you could feel their curious eyes on you, all having been present for yesterday’s interview. You looked nervously towards Toto who was studying the floor with great interest, clearly also apprehensive.

Fortunately, you needn’t have worried, Sky were always professional and without the addition of Toto’s arch nemesis, they stuck strictly to work-related questions. It seemed as if you had both panicked for nothing and ultimately people didn’t really care who a Team Principal shared his bed with.

They did, however, ask Toto for answers on why performance was so poor this weekend, something that he struggled to answer as the technical team were still trying to figure it out themselves. It wasn’t the worst interview but for sure not the best.

Just as Toto stepped down from the platform to give his mic equipment back, your phone buzzed.

Hello Y/N, it’s Sylvie from the Medical Centre. I am sorry but I did not manage to get your pill. I recommend you go to the doctor asap.

Trying not to betray your emotions, you hurriedly typed a reply and put your phone away as Toto said his goodbyes to the Sky team. 

Wandering back towards the Mercedes hospitality area your head was spinning. In the chaos of the weekend, you had totally forgotten about your morning-after pill debacle. You couldn’t remember off the top of your head but it had now been over twenty-four hours and you weren’t sure how long you had before it wouldn’t work.

“Everything okay?” asked Toto, sensing your mind was elsewhere.

“Yes thanks, that was good. Well done,” you said shortly.

“Are you sure?” he pressed.

“Yep. All good,” you said, forcing a smile.

Toto looked confused but ultimately gave up pushing and you made your way back through the throng of teams in comfortable silence.

You were nervous about the team debrief that was to follow the race but in a way grateful that the team’s poor performance would be the main topic of discussion.

“Y/N,” Toto suddenly turned to you as you made your way up the stairs towards your respective offices, “Don’t get upset but I have to go back to Monaco later.”

“Huh?” you said, surprised at this news. You had been due to take the jet back to the UK together with several colleagues. “How come?”

“Just some business,” he said mysteriously, not giving anything away.

“Okay, sure,” you said, not sure what to make of this. In the events of the race weekend, you’d almost forgotten about your impending meeting with HR and were suddenly nervous that you would be doing it without Toto in the office, let alone the country.

“I’m sorry I can’t be there for your meeting,” he said, starchily. “I will check in though.”

“Okay,” you said, surprised by his suddenly frosty attitude.

MONDAY AM

The flight back to the UK had been uneventful and you’d sat in silence as the team furiously picked apart the race data, trying to get to the bottom of why Lewis didn’t have the pace. You felt rough once again, not having slept a wink. Toto had left shortly after the debrief and you hadn’t heard a peep since. It was unlike him both on a personal and professional level and as much as you hated to admit it, it had deeply upset you.

The landing was smooth and as you made your way down the stairs and onto the tarmac, the doom of having to face HR really set in. 

“Everything okay?” asked Rosie as she made her way towards you. You would be sharing a car with her and George as you were all going straight to the factory.

“Yeah,” you said quietly, tears once again pooling in your eyes.

“No it’s not,” Rosie said kindly before turning around to her boyfriend who was also heading over 

“George, will you go with the guys? We have some work things to chat about.”

Looking put out at being dismissed by his girlfriend, George shrugged and replied, “Sure, see you 

later.”

“Thanks,” you said, sliding into the back seat of the car, Rosie following suit.

“So what’s up?” Rosie asked kindly.

You sighed, “I don’t even know where to start.”

“At the beginning maybe?”

“Very funny,” you said, rolling up the privacy partition so that your driver wouldn’t overhear.

“Oh that kind of story?” said Rosie, knowing that whenever the partition went up, something was afoot.

“Ugh, so did you see the Sky interview with Toto and Christian on Saturday?”

“Yes, wait is that what you’re worried about? C’mon, it was Christian Horner. Nobody takes a word he says seriously.”

You smiled weakly, “Really?”

“Yeah!” Rosie huffed, “Everybody thought he was being an idiot. And for the record, everybody said Toto would in no way be able to pull you.”

“That’s what Bono said to Toto!” you said.

“See!” said Rosie, “The whole thing was ridiculous.”

“Well, the Board doesn't think so. They’ve called me into a meeting with HR later.”

‘What the fuck?” said Rosie, “Because of a stupid Sky puff piece?”

“Yup.” you said, “We originally thought it was just HR and Toto asked them to cancel it but turns out it was the Board.”

“Fuck.” said Rosie, “But really what are they going to say?”

“I don’t know.” you sighed, “I re-read my contract last night and it says no relationships with colleagues.”

“Does it?” said Rosie, “Well that’s me and George fucked then.”

“No offence but the Board doesn’t care about you or George. Toto is the figurehead of the team, I guess they don’t like the image of him sleeping with his employees.”

“Oh…” said Rosie, “Well, surely you can just say it’s not true?”

“The thing is, I would but then what if this goes somewhere and then they find out we lied?” you said. 

Rosie looked ecstatic, “You think it’s going to go somewhere?”

“I hope so.” you said, “Toto told me he loved me the other day.”

“Oh my God!” Rosie squealed, “Tell me, when, where?”

You grimaced thinking back to what had transpired on the beach, “Um, so we went to the beach on Friday night.”

“That’s why you didn’t come out!” Rosie exclaimed, “I knew it!”

You smirked, “Well anyway we watched the sunset on the beach and then had a little cuddle and he told me he loved me.”

“A little cuddle?” Rosie quirked an eyebrow, “Did you have sex on the beach?”

You blushed, thinking back to that evening, “No…”

“Oh my God, you’re blushing, you totally did!” Rosie said, “I’m not surprised by you but Toto! Didn’t think he was the type.”

“Rosie..” you started, “Breathe a word of this to anyone and I will kill you.”

“How was it?” she asked, “I want juicy details. Ugh, you’re so lucky, I wish George would do all this stuff.”

You laughed, “Well, it was a really bad idea.”

“How come?” she asked.

“Well… I don’t want to scar you.”

“Y/N, I overheard you getting eaten out by our boss. I think we’re past that.”

“Touché.” you replied, “We got a little carried away and he finished in me.”

Rosie looked as if she was going to combust, “And?”

“I’m not on any birth control.” you paused, “I tried to get the morning-after pill at the medical centre but it was expired and they couldn’t get it. And then everything kicked off with the interview and the bad quali so I ran out of time.”

“Fuck.” said Rosie, “You should have come to me.”

“It’s okay, there was nothing anyone could do. Toto was going to drive to a pharmacy but he ran out of time.”

“What are you going to do?” Rosie asked with concern.

“Well firstly if I survive this meeting, I will hotfoot it to the doctors,” you said. “Toto’s fucked off to 

Monaco so I’m not even sure what is going on there.”

“Weird.” said Rosie, “I’m surprised he’s letting you do this meeting alone.”

“Me too,” you said, looking at the fields as you rolled closer and closer to the factory.

MONDAY PM

Sitting in your office, you steeled yourself in preparation for your upcoming meeting. Glancing at the clock you had three minutes to get to the HR office so you decided to bite the bullet and make your way down, for what was likely to be your last meeting in this role. To add insult to injury, Toto had not contacted you all day, not even to ask if you’d landed safe or to wish you luck. It was totally unlike him and you couldn’t help but be disappointed in him.

Knocking gently on the door, Pamela’s voice rang out, “Come in.”

“Hi,” you said, surprised to find that it was only Pamela present.

“Hi Y/N, how are you?” the older woman said politely.

“I’m okay thank you, how are you?” you said, battling to make small talk.

“Very well thank you. Now I’m sure you know why you’re here today. The Board were not happy to discover your personal relationship with Toto, especially in the manner that it was revealed. It does not reflect well on both the team or Toto so they have asked me to step in and call this meeting.”

“Wow you got straight to the point Pamela,” you said, not thrilled with her tone.

Ignoring your grumbles, she continued, “They want to conference call to discuss the matter further. Before I dial, is there anything you want me to know or say that will help?”

Softening your expression as after all, it was not Pamela’s fault, you replied, “That’s okay, I will explain everything to them directly.”

“If you’re sure,” said Pamela apprehensively, reaching for the conference phone at her desk.

As the Teams ring rang out you felt sick with nerves. You weren’t expecting to be fighting your case directly with the Board. Steeling yourself, you thought about the achievements that you could reel off, not to mention the additional revenue that you had raised.

“Good afternoon.” came a voice through the speakerphone. 

You recognised it as Robert, the chairman. Surprised he would be on this call, you politely replied, “Good afternoon Robert.”

“Hello.” called another voice. It was David, another one of the principal investors. They’d sent in the heavy hitters.

“Hello everyone.” Finally a friendly voice, it was James from the Technical team. He occasionally joined Board meetings.

As more of the upper management joined the call, you were increasingly surprised that Toto wasn’t going to be a part of it. Surely he would want to fight his corner?

“So are we all here?” said Anne, the Company Secretary.

“No, we’re waiting for Toto.” replied Pamela, “He should be here any minute.”

Shocked by this revelation you immediately felt more confident.

“Of course he’s late,” said Robert in a clipped tone. 

Right on cue, there was a knock on Pamela’s door. It was none other than Toto, looking red-faced and out of breath as if he’d been running the whole way.

“He’s here,” said Pamela, sensing they were impatient to start.

“Hello everyone,” said Toto, trying to hide the fact he was out of breath. Greetings were murmured through the speaker, merged together as multiple people spoke at once.

“Good afternoon Toto,” said Robert curtly.

“Good afternoon Robert,” replied Toto, equally as shortly.

“So I just want to preface this call with the fact that everything said on here will remain strictly confidential,” said Pamela, taking to the floor. “I’d first like to state that Y/N signed our standard contract, in that employee/employee relationships are strictly forbidden. Toto’s contract is different and does not have this stated anywhere. This does not, however, excuse his transgression and as part of our ethos, we would strongly discourage any abuse of power between an employee and their superior.”

Toto looked livid, having caught his breath he sat bolt upright, shooting daggers at Pamela.

Pamela continued, “Following Saturday’s interview with Sky Sports and Toto, it was revealed that Toto and Y/N have been pursuing a romantic relationship and several members of the Board have raised concerns that this is entirely inappropriate, not to mention a breach of Y/N’s contract. I would like to begin by giving the floor to Robert, who I believe feels especially strongly about this matter.”

“Yes,” came the voice from the speaker, “I was very surprised to learn of this news. For many years Mercedes has worked tirelessly to create a clean-cut professional brand image. Toto has always been exemplary of this and I was shocked, to say the least when our direct competitor brought his recent behaviour up. Y/N is still relatively new to the team and I voiced my concerns during the hiring process that she was too young to be taking on such a Senior role. I believe what has happened is due to this.”

“I…” Toto started before Pamela shushed him.

Robert continued, “In my opinion, the only way forward is for Y/N to discreetly leave her post. I do not want the press catching wind of this and spinning a narrative that is not in line with our brand values.”

“Robert.” started Toto again, before being cut off by David.

“Toto, we will hear from you shortly, but I would like to add that I am surprised you did this, knowing the repercussions. We always laugh at your counterparts at Red Bull and Ferrari but they have never brought a scandal like this upon their team.”

This time James interjected, “Look, guys, I know you’re not thrilled about this but I travel with the team and this is the first time I’ve heard anything about this. Everyone in the garage doesn’t believe it’s true and do we even know for a fact that it is? You all know what Christian Horner is like and this feels like somewhat of an overreaction to a situation we do not fully understand. I think we should let Toto speak.”

You could always count on James to stay level-headed in a tricky situation, there were a few grumbles and Robert piped up, “Sure, I would love to know what he has to say for himself.”

Toto cleared his throat, “Well, I am very disappointed with the way you have approached this. As James said, we all know what Christian Horner is like and he will say anything to make us, especially me, look bad. Normally it is something professional but this time he hit below the belt and made it personal.” He continued, “So to explain exactly what has been happening, I have been pursuing a relationship with Y/N outside of work, however, we have been keeping it very discreet and under wraps and entirely separate from our duties in the workplace.”

“So you are together?” butted in David.

“Yes. We are.” confirmed Toto, looking weary, “I was not aware that Y/N had a line in her contract that expressly forbade a personal relationship as I do not have that within my contract, however, I do not believe that her career should suffer because of her affiliation to me.”

“Well, I’d like to hear Y/N’s side of things.” piped up Robert, “Surely you were aware of this clause in your contract?”

“Hello everyone.” you said shyly, “I have to say, my contract is over thirty pages long and having re-read it over the weekend, the relationship part is a very small line towards the end. When I signed it, I paid it no mind as I did not expect to find love in the workplace.”

“Love?” guffawed Robert, “I know Toto, this is just another fling.”

This time Pamela interjected, “Robert, may I ask that you remain professional and listen to what Y/N has to say.”

Smiling at the older woman, you continued, “Yes love, Robert. When we began our relationship, we agreed that we keep personal and professional entirely separate so as not to disrupt our work and I have to say I think we have managed to do so successfully.”

“So I have one question,” interrupted James, “How long has this been going on?”

“A little over a year,” said Toto.

Your eyebrows shot up, yes Baku had been over a year ago but strictly Montreal was only six weeks ago.

Murmurs followed once again before James spoke, “Wow. Okay, so I would like to say that I do believe they kept things separate as I sit immediately next to them for hours at a time every weekend, spend countless hours in debriefings and meetings and travel on the jet and had no idea. I knew that they were firm friends but had no inkling of a romantic relationship”

“But this does not answer how Christian Horner came to discover the relationship?” asked David indignantly.

“I have my suspicions on that,” said Toto cryptically. “He is always digging for dirt and I suppose this time he couldn’t wait to spill.”

“Well, I for one, still believe that the right thing to do is to excuse Y/N from her post, no questions asked and we find a new Director of Communications,” said Robert, unmoved by anything he’d heard.

Annoyed that this man was so stubborn, you could no longer contain yourself. “Look, Robert, I understand I have breached my contract but I would urge you to think about what I have brought to the team. I have increased sponsorship revenue by 40% in one year and entertained new sponsors who have brought priceless good press to our team, as opposed to the dinosaurs we had before. I have convinced partners to stay who were all but ready to jump ship for a rival team when times were tough and I’ve grown our Comms team considerably, giving us additional media opportunities that we never would have explored previously.”

Toto turned to face you, glowing with pride. Even Pamela looked suitably impressed with your spiel.

Silence followed for a few seconds before Robert replied, “I understand this, but it doesn’t change that you fundamentally broke your contract and there has to be consequences. It’s all very well throwing out these numbers but you’ve undone years of hard work in one swoop.”

‘Robert.” stated Toto very succinctly, “Frankly, if you want Y/N to go, I will go with her.”

You were floored, Toto would leave his role for you?

His admission was met with deathly silence before David spoke. “Now Toto, don’t be so dramatic. I know you wouldn’t do that.”

“I will,” said Toto stubbornly. “I run this team and I know that Y/N is the best Director of Communications we’ve ever had. It would be stupidity to let her go. And I say this from a purely professional standpoint”

More silence followed before Robert replied. “Look, let us discuss this further. For now, I would recommend that Y/N takes a temporary leave of absence and waits for this to blow over.”

“Fine,” clapped back Toto, “Then I will take a leave of absence. Good luck.”

Pamela’s face beside you was one of pure shock. 

“I’d rather you didn’t,” replied Robert.

“Then we both stay,” replied Toto bluntly. “We will continue to be discreet and laugh off any comments from rivals.”

“Fine.” said Robert, “But if I catch wind of anything affecting the team performance she goes.”

You gulped, not liking the way he was referring to you.

Pamela piped up, “From a Human Resources point of view, we cannot decide things like that in this manner. In my opinion, what we do is we draft another contract for Y/N that she can sign and we can put some stipulations in if need be.”

Thankful for the older woman’s expertise, you nodded in agreement.

“Fine.” said Robert, “Well let’s wrap this up, we’ve wasted enough time this afternoon. Speak soon.”

Goodbyes were murmured in response before Pamela rang off the call.

“Well, that was interesting.” she said, “So you two? I wouldn’t have guessed either.”

You smiled, “Thank you, Pamela, sorry about all of that.”

Toto stood up from beside you, “Yes thank you, Pamela, they are a nightmare.”

“You’re more than welcome,” replied Pamela, offering you both a warm smile, “But I don’t want to hear of any office hanky panky yes?”

You giggled, “Believe me after all of this, that is the last place I want to be doing anything.”

“And it might be tricky with our glass walls.” joked Toto.

“Indeed,” said Pamela waving you out of her office.

“Well, do you want to get a tea?” asked Toto, putting his hands awkwardly in his pockets as he strolled down the corridor beside you.

“Sure,” you said, aware you still had much to discuss.

———

As you both had a relatively free afternoon, you decided to pop out of the factory for your tea. It was a nice day and you had more privacy wandering along the river bank than you did in Toto’s goldfish bowl of an office.

“Toto, there's one thing I don't understand. Why did you say we were together for a year?” you asked.

“Well, six weeks sounded silly and we technically did begin our romance then,” Toto said bashfully. "I liked you from the get-go but when we kissed in Baku, everything changed."

“That’s very schoolboy of you. You know I think I fell for you in Monaco. I know nothing happened but you looked so handsome at that yacht dinner party, I would have had you right there if I could have,” you laughed, turning towards Toto, “Thank you for coming all the way back, I didn’t expect it.”

“Monaco, really? You looked beautiful that night too, " Toto beamed, "And why would I not come back? I had to go to Monaco for a meeting with a supplier and got on the first flight out of Nice this morning.

“Oh.” you said, surprised he took a commercial flight, “I see.”

“Is everything okay with us Y/N?” Toto suddenly asked, concerned.

“Yeah.” you said, “Sorry, I just feel kind of stupid, I felt like a kid being told off at school.”

“Me too,” said Toto.

“You did?” you asked.

“Of course, it’s worse for me in a way. Everyone thinks I’m some old perv.”

“You know when I call you an old perv it’s a joke right?” you replied.

Toto smiled, his kind brown eyes crinkling, “You know what I mean. You could hear the shock even in James’ voice.”

“I don’t think he thinks you’re an old perv. I think he probably feels stupid that he didn’t notice.”

“Maybe.” said Toto, stopping in his tracks, “Hey, I guess we all have our stupid moments.”

“Indeed we do.” you said, looking up at the tall man before you, “I’m glad we were stupid though.”

“Me too,” said Toto, quickly checking you were alone before bending down to kiss you.

Unfortunately, however, you weren't quite alone as a pair of all too familiar eyes were watching you from behind a bush a little way along the river. Nor did you hear the click of the camera shutter, capturing your intimate moment in a freeze frame image.

[wonderwall1968]

Ooh, for life flow within you!!! (which I'm sure I've told you before is like my favourite Beatles fic, but I will happily reiterate it again ❤️)

2. How did you come up with the idea?

15. Talk about the characters’ struggles & how you decided on those

26. Share your favorite detail

ahhh thank you so much, mo!! <3 you’re too kind. i haven’t thought about this one in a while, it was so nice to return to it actually!

2: how did you come up with the idea?

okay the exact details are a little bit muddy now, but i think i started really thinking about this one just after @monkberries posted our hometown in a tornado which is….. mwah one of my faves, and we were talking about george and the desperate lack of george-centred stuff around at that time and i can’t remember exactly where the idea came from, but somehow we got onto george visiting paul at the farm. and i was just sort of thinking about how much weight is placed on the deaths of mary and julia and how little louise’s death is mentioned (i get why in a lot of ways but again, i was just feeling very like, ok then be the change!! about it). so that became the specific catalyst for the trip and the timing of it was just. kind of horrible to me and it really just made me wish george and paul had been in a more decent place with one another when it happened.

15: talk about the characters’ struggles & how you decided on those

well, the struggles of that period really wrote themselves tbh i guess i also just wanted to give them each a chance to say their piece and to try to be able to meet somewhere in the middle. i wanted george to be able to say he was sick of it all and for paul to try to explain the parts that george didn’t even know were there.

26: share your favourite detail

hmm i did a bit of a scan to refresh my memory and there are a few little things thrown in that i totally forgot about. i like the detail of paul doing his birdwatching as a kid and how they were doing it again out on the farm. it kind of really captured that overall feeling i was trying to convey about how there’s no real way through this kind of loss by just talking about it. you sort of just need your friends to show you how, or to show you through it, even if they don’t understand it exactly.

[drearycrow]

Notes: I started messing with the incorrect quote generator and now I'm having too much fun.

Me, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Kunikida: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

☽⊰⊹〰︎〰︎✎♥︎✐〰︎〰︎⊹⊱☾

Me: Wow, Kunikida, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Kunikida: We literally slept together yesterday.

Me: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

☽⊰⊹〰︎〰︎✎♥︎✐〰︎〰︎⊹⊱☾

Me: I wanna sleep for 40 hours.

Kunikida: You know that's called a coma, right?

Me:

Me: That sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

☽⊰⊹〰︎〰︎✎♥︎✐〰︎〰︎⊹⊱☾

Kunikida: Look, last night was a mistake.

Me: A sexy mistake.

Kunikida: No, just a regular mistake.

☽⊰⊹〰︎〰︎✎♥︎✐〰︎〰︎⊹⊱☾

Me: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.

Kunikida: Why?

Me, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

☽⊰⊹〰︎〰︎✎♥︎✐〰︎〰︎⊹⊱☾

Kunikida: Go fuck yourself.

Me, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

☽⊰⊹〰︎〰︎✎♥︎✐〰︎〰︎⊹⊱☾

Me: Get in loser, we're going shopping.

Kunikida: This is a McDonald's drive thru.

☽⊰⊹〰︎〰︎✎♥︎✐〰︎〰︎⊹⊱☾

Me, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.

Kunikida, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the f-

☽⊰⊹〰︎〰︎✎♥︎✐〰︎〰︎⊹⊱☾

Me: How do I tell Kunikida that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

☽⊰⊹〰︎〰︎✎♥︎✐〰︎〰︎⊹⊱☾