#top 10 paris experiences

[thesingletraveller]

10 More Paris Experiences to Make You Fall in Love with the City of Light

So you’ve explored the main tourist sights in Paris (maybe even some of the ones highlighted here in Top 10 Paris Experiences For Your Next Solo Trip), and now you want to continue your explorations. Here’s another ten experiences that will continue your love affair with Paris! #1. Cross the Seine on Solferino BridgeIf you’ve read my one-day recommended itinerary article (First time in Paris?…

[queers-gambit]

Curiosity Killed The Cat

prompt: after rescuing you from kidnappers, you overhear your boyfriend-turned-savior complain about how clingy you've become.

pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Marvel

collection masterlist: Clingy Baby

word count: 5.1k+

note: author wants things out of her drafts! also don't take this fic too seriously, it's not much at all - just me writing for the fuck of it until i'm ready to focus on my bigger projects.

warnings: modern AU, Mafia AU, obvious cursing, small hurt and comfort, brief depiction of physical violence and self-destruction in the form of: loss of appetite, lack of sleep, other symptoms of depression. NOT edited! author is ashamed because she knows she can give you something better but oh well.

Your feet planted, jarring you to a halt the moment you heard your name in a conversation you were not apart of.

You heard the hammering of your heart, echoing beats of your blood pumping with harrowing desperation. Hands turned cold and clammy, sweat breaking out on your brow and then freezing, feeling as if your throat had swollen to a new restriction and you were anchored in you in place.

Rooted.

But for now, all you could identify was the paralyzing anxiety that anchored you to your spot and made your heartbeat thunder in your ears. You stood outside the lounge, unable to comprehend relevant thought; still listening to low, docile tones continue their conversation, but you couldn't hear real words.

You were stunned. Panicked, confused, hurt - so very hurt. That seemed to register, too; you were really, really hurt.

This was perhaps why curiosity killed the cat.

You reprimanded yourself for listening in - transporting back to childhood during all the times your parents would scold you for eavesdropping. You knew it was wrong, you knew this was a private conversation meant to be shared between trusting confidants, but you couldn't help it - you heard your name and stopped. It was natural, right? To feel curious regarding a conversation seemingly about you that you, yourself, was not apart of?

Curiosity, indeed.

Blinking rapidly, you remembered the only other time you felt such mounting, pressurized fear, and while it might be dramatic, the only other time you could remember this level of anxiety was from about two months ago...

"Yes, baby, I got the bacon."

"And the jalapeños?"

"Uh-huh, the biggest they had."

"Cream cheese?"

"Do you know who you're talking to?" You laughed into the phone. "I'm a professional housewife by now, you can relax. I got all you needed for your fancy little dinner experiment."

Bucky laughed down the phone, "Oh, please, like I didn't see you salivating when we watched the segment on Top Chef."

"Hush," you laughed, too. "I'm leaving the store now," you told him, pushing out of the heavy glass doors, "and should be home in, like, 10 minutes?"

"Lemme pick you up."

"I have legs to walk with, so, no thank you."

He sighed, "Well, I'll open the wine to let it breathe. Red's still good?"

"Let's do a white tonight, please."

"Good deal," he mused softly. "Hey, I was thinking earlier - "

"Hang on," you pleaded.

"What's wrong?"

"No, nothing. There's just a van slowing down, I don't want to get hit," you chuckled some, looking up and down the street before crossing. "Sorry, so, what were you thinking?"

"We haven't been to Paris in months."

You smirked, "I'm sure our plants in the apartment are dead by now."

Bucky laughed, "Oh, I am, too. But, look, how 'bout it, Peach? You, me, all the croissants we can consume this weekend. I'll take Monday and Tuesday off, we can leave tomorrow night."

"Oh, that sounds nice," you moaned. "Paris in the spring? Baby, that's so dreamy!"

"So, is that a yes?"

"It's a hell yes," you grinned. "Do you know the weather?"

"Supposed to be nice and sunny, not too warm or cold. Figured this would be ideal," he chuckled. "But does the weather matter if we're in bed the whole time?"

"No, we're not wasting our time!" You laughed. "We're gonna go do shit, okay? Stereotypical tourist-couple shit."

"I'll bring the camera."

"And I was hoping we could have dinner at that little place we love?"

"I wouldn't take you anywhere else," he mused.

"I think it's - FUCK!" Bucky froze when he heard the screeching of tires; a van coming up to a skidding halt, flurry of voices all yelling but he heard yours clearly. "No, no, no, hey, hey, what the hell's happening? Hey! What's this - hey, hey! Don't touch me! Ow, shit! No! Hey! Fuck's sake - oh, my God! Ow! Hey!"

"Baby!? Peach! Hey! The fuck's going on!?"

There was a thudding over the phone, and Bucky listened to more struggling - more fidgeting and fighting - and then the slamming of a car door. Still calling your name, Bucky heard a scrape over the line before a different voice answered your phone, "James Barnes. On behalf of HYDRA, you're overdue on your payment and we warned you there would be consequences. Deliver the full amount of 17 million - "

"It's 15," he growled.

"Two million more for the inconvenience of stalking your woman."

"If you even so much as touch her, I swear to God - "

"17 million at midnight, at the pier, or every minute you're late, she'll receive the brunt end of our frustration."

"Don't hurt her - "

"Midnight, Mr. Barnes, at the pier - you know where. Don't be late, she looks like she won't last long."

The line went dead after he heard your screech of pain, confusion, and fear. The moment the line cut, he dropped his phone and slowly lowered himself to sit on the kitchen floor, shock coloring his system. It wasn't that he didn't have the money, quite the opposite - but he and his men had a plan in motion to take out HYDRA, their org's competition, and this was totally against all they anticipated. After a minute to sit in his own worry, Bucky jumped to his feet, grabbed his phone, keys, wallet, and two handguns; holstering them both before shrugging his suit jacket on.

He made every phone call he could, gathering the men he trusted most to (one of) his warehouse(s).

For hours, you were strung up by your wrists in a joint-pulling position while the Brooklyn Mafia formulated a plan of attack. It was the most pain you've ever known, but then the abuse started and you were blinded by this new pain. You had bruises most places, cuts that wept blood; scars that would never heal, wounds that wouldn't ever close. You were delirious, miserable, confused, just dazed and confused; praying to a God who didn't listen.

"Oh, look at that," your captor mocked, holding a thick-bladed hunting knife in hand, "it's one minute til midnight, and I don't see your loverboy anywhere."

You sniffled, unable to respond.

He stared out the lone window, tisking and narrating, "Nope, I see not a soul - and with how protective he is over you, you'd think he'd want to ensure your safety. Not leave it to chance, huh?"

You whimpered as the clock struck midnight, your heart hammering in heavy-hung worry. You had tears in your eyes, heart nearly beating out of your chest, feeling incredibly nauseous. The desire to scream never lessened, just fearing what was to come; the men in the room making you fear for the state of your life, their knuckles cracking. You only begged, "Please. Don't."

The main captor laughed, "You can do better than that! C'mon, give me the satisfaction of tellin' ol' James you begged for mercy - but it wasn't enough to sway me. I'll lie, for sure, and say it happened but it will be so much sweeter if you actually do it."

"Please," you shook your head, avoiding eye contact. "Just don't do this, please."

"Oh, honey," he mocked, "it's not our fault he's late. Lads! Have at her, but leave her face for now - she's still real pretty."

You listened as he gave commands in Russian, understanding after the years at Bucky's side; whimpering when the first blow landed to your gut and knocked the wind out of you. The minutes drug by and you felt your resolve crumbling, heart still hammering to a never-before-felt speed that made it feel as if it were jumping out of your very body at every single pulse point. You struggled in your restraints, but it was futile by how tight you were bound; unable to protect yourself.

At 12:03 am, the doors blew open in a resounding blast; concrete crumbling and sprinkling the floor. You cried out as the smoke choked you, coughing through the haze; only barely able to make out certain figures to know Bucky had brought his best men. However, despite the sting to your eyes from the swirling dust and smoke, you saw a lone man stalk through the blasted wall, through the fray, and straight up to you.

"Bu-Bucky!" You choked in relief as he reached to untie your feet first. You dangled for only a moment as his metal prosthetic ripped off whatever held your wrists to the torture contraption. "Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Bucky, holy shit, baby, please, please, please," you rambled as he freed you and instantly caught you on his broad shoulders.

"I got you, Peach, I'm here, I've got you," he promised in your ear, hoisting your legs around his waist so they latched and then wrapping his arms around you securely. "Don't let go and don't look up, okay? Hear me, Peach?"

You nodded into his neck, only able to cry.

Bucky jolted and jerked slightly as he moved through the fight again, but not a minute later, you were stepping outside into the sobering, brisk spring air. This was the moment you understood how dangerous and fleeting life with Bucky could be, making a promise to yourself that if he says take the car, you'll take the fucking car.

And now, here you were, outside the high-rise apartment's lounge (which was just a converted bedroom), listening to your boyfriend complain about you some 2 months after the whole fiasco. HYDRA had been all but wiped out, and in the weeks since, Bucky's men had gone on smaller missions to eradicate the HYDRA members they heard rumor of being local. Yet you didn't feel safe, yet.

You didn't feel safe if you weren't around Bucky.

Everything made you jump: the beep of the done-dryer, that spritz of the automatic fragrance mister in the bathroom, the "duh-dunnn" of a loaded-up Netflix. Keys jingling, car horns, the barking of the dog in the apartment a floor below you... Everything.

Being around Bucky was just like holding a safety blanket. He would always protect you, and for about a week after your rescue, he laid in bed and around the home with you; being lazy; time off work to simply hold you and assure you were safe. Safe in his arms. Safe in his embrace, his presence.

So now... To hear this... You were devastated.

You didn't mean to eavesdrop, it just sort of happened. It was still earlier in the morning, but Bucky hadn't been in bed beside you and based on the feel of the sheets, his body hadn't been there in a while. So, you made some coffee and then ventured around the home in search of your lover; coming upon the lounge and hearing voices from within.

You knew it was common for Steve Rogers and / or Sam Wilson to stay late or visit early, so, you weren't shocked by that, but did falter in announcing yourself when you heard Sam ask how you were doing since the kidnapping. He used your name specifically, making Bucky sigh, and for your curiosity to peak.

"She's different, man."

"How so?" Sam wondered.

"She doesn't like being without me now," he chuckled without humor. "I'm serious, she won't go to the gym until I do, waits to have meals together, won't leave the house if I'm out, and," he scoffed to himself, "you can forget going to the grocery store or anything - she's even stopped going to work - "

"You told her to stop working, like, two years ago when y'all first moved-in together," Sam deadpanned.

"I know," Bucky shrugged, "but it feels tenfold now that she's so reclusive."

"It's normal," Steve sighed gently.

"Yeah? Is it normal that I can't even go take a shit without promising her I'll be right back?" Bucky snapped in exasperation. "It's that bad, she's that fucking clingy, man. I go in the kitchen to make dinner, she's in there 30 seconds later to 'help' me. I take a shower, she finds a reason to linger in the bedroom, but that was better than before, when she wouldn't even shower by herself. It's just a lot, she's everywhere I look. I'm starting to find new reasons not to come home, man, she's always fucking here - and when I walk in the door, she's on me. I need to fucking breathe, but I can't tell her to stop, she'll get her feelings hurt and then I'm the bad guy."

"Man," Steve laughed, "you can't be the bad guy if you go to her in a calm and collected manner, but it's only been two months. She's still recovering."

"Exactly why if I say anything, no matter how calm and collected, I'm the bad guy. I get she's hurting and tryna recover, but Goddamn, does she have to be in every room I'm in? Do everything with me? How do I tell my traumatized girlfriend to back off? Let me breathe?"

Sam laughed, "You don't! You just said it - she's traumatized! Cut the girl some slack, she's got a lot to fuckin' deal with!"

"I'm not negating from that fact," Bucky argued, "I'm just trying to say, the way she's clinging onto me like she can't function without me is just grating at my nerves. I just need to breathe and recharge, but I can't tell her that - fuck's sake."

"Buck," Steve smirked, "you're worried Peach isn't gonna listen, but that's her literal superpower. Just communicate, she can't read your mind, but you need to remember how traumatic all of that was for her to experience - she's scarred from that kidnapping, man. So, sure, you need to recharge, but she needs the support."

"Is it wrong to ask for a day here and there to do that? To recharge?" Bucky asked quietly.

"If you communicate, it's perfectly reasonable to ask for," Sam assured softly. "And whatever you do, don't tell her you think she's clingy. Chicks hate that, that word is, just, like, taboo or something. Real heavy, negative connotations."

"But she is," Bucky growled quietly, "'s like she's afraid to let go 'cause I'll disappear or something."

"Oh, noooo," Sam mocked, "I'm Bucky and my girlfriend loves me too much and trusts me too much and actually feels safe and dependent on me too much - ohhh noooo!"

There was a thump, Sam's cried, "Ow!", and Bucky telling him to shut up. You slowly backed away from the door, trying to settle your breathing as you made your escape down the hall. When back in the kitchen, you whimpered and let the first tears fall... The first of many you shed in the hour it took you to prepare breakfast for everyone; doing your best to eat as you cooked so you didn't have to linger around the men. You took Bucky's words to heart, and maybe you were too sensitive, maybe you should venture outside again.

So, when the lads came out, you set the table without making eye contact with any of them. "Here," you directed, setting the pancakes down, "I made breakfast, come eat, it's still hot."

"Wow," Sam smiled brightly, "thanks, Peach!"

You hummed, still avoiding their eyes as you just set the abundance of food to the table. "You... Cooked without me?" Bucky asked you with skepticism.

"Mhm," you hummed, setting the coffee pot down to a hot pad, "and I'm going out shopping with Nat, so, eat up, lads, I'll do the dishes when I get home. Love you, boys, bye," you waved them off, snatching your keys and then moving to the door to stuff your feet into your sneakers.

"Woah, woah, woah," Bucky left the table, approaching you urgently, "hey, what do you mean? You're goin' out?"

"Yep, figured I've stayed in too long, might as well get out and remember life doesn't stop just 'cause I'm sad."

"Peach - "

"I'll see you when I get home, Buck, okay?" You mumbled, slinging your purse on your shoulder.

"Well, here, here, hey, wait, hang on," he pulled his wallet out, handing you over a wad of big bills. "Spend it all, okay? Have fun, call or text if you need me, yeah?"

"Sure."

Bucky leaned in to kiss you but you just opened the door, ready to leave. He frowned, watching you, barely managing to call a quick, "Love you!"

You didn't return the sentiment, feeling hallow and all too silly to return the affection. In your purse was your laptop, headphones, chargers, and whatever else, so, instead of meeting your friend, Natasha - being just a ruse to avoid Bucky - you started small and just went to the local café. You used to frequent it back in the day, but times were changed, and yet, they were all the happier to serve you the same as before. Getting cozy in the corner, you set up camp and ordered your favorite coffee basically every other hour - letting the day waste away as you caught up on work emails.

Might've wasted time on Instagram and Facebook and Pinterest. Got shopping done on Amazon. Browsed through Target's online selection. Checked out the sale items at Kate Spade. Perused Fenty Lingerie because you could.

Before you knew it, a message was coming in over your MacBook from Bucky, asking where you were - why had you turned your location off?

You packed up and with a to-go cup, made the short trek back home. When you got back, Bucky was pacing in the living room; staring at his phone and typing, then deleting, retyping, groaning, glancing up, typing again, then doing a double take. "Where've you been, Peach? Huh!?" Bucky demanded. "You're late!"

"Out with Nat," you eased.

He huffed through his nose, nodding slowly, "You have a nice time?"

"It was okay," you answered. "I'm gonna go to bed after I shower."

His brows furrowed, "I have a meeting tonight."

"I know."

"O...kay?" He let you go, wanting to ask why you didn't ask him to join like you had so often in the past few weeks.

And it didn't stop there, in fact, it got worse. When Bucky got home from his meeting, he was actually shocked to see you nestled in the bed; teetering on the edge of the shared space while snuggling a weighted body pillow.

When he tried to give you a snuggle, you stirred to life and pushed him back, muttering, "Too hot."

The following morning, he was relatively surprised to see you up and about before him; barely getting a word in before you were slipping out the door to go on a morning jog. He was confused by how all of a sudden, where you were once everywhere he looked, now, you were disappeared and distant and gone. You worked out alone, cooked alone - but always left him a plate, but long gone were the cute little sticky notes you left for him. You once haunted the apartment by never wanting to leave, and now, ghosted in and out of it on a daily basis.

You never bothered to go far from home. You liked hanging at the coffee shop and luckily, your job let you work from home most days, and the rare time you were due back in the office, it was only about a 20 minute walk. You got better at lying, couldn't even remember the last time you and Bucky had sex, and even now, the last time you had a meal together. You didn't text him about your day; where you once might've told him about an adorable dog you saw on the street, now, you only ever texted him if he asked a direct question.

Food lost appeal, your appetite vanished.

Sleep evaded you, plaguing you with nightmares when you did rest.

Interest dulled, passions were snuffed, and only fearful, confused anger remained. It showed in the way weight seemed to shift around your body, thinning; the lack of sleep creating dark rings and bags under your bloodshot eyes.

After two weeks of this, Bucky grew irritated and short with everyone around him. It reflected in his work, the way he spoke to everyone; even Steve and Sam getting the brunt end of his anger. Without you to assure him, Bucky was off his rocker; losing his cool; his patience stretched far too thin. So much so, the two mates approached an outside associate, Natasha Romanoff, after a particularly snappy meeting to plead for her to talk to Bucky.

"James," Nat greeted as she strode into his office without knocking.

"I know you're my oldest friend, but you don't have that privilege yet," he mused, never looking up.

"What?"

"Not knocking. What is it, Nat?"

"Just came to check on you, you know, like friends do."

"Hm," he chuckled without humor, "and what did Peach say to you?"

"About...?"

"Me."

"Nothing, I haven't gotten ahold of her for weeks."

Bucky paused, slowly lifting his head in confusion; brows furrowed and mouth set in a firm, straight line. "What?" He grit.

"Huh?" Nat wondered.

"She's been telling me that she's hanging out with you for the past two weeks," he revealed.

"Nope, not since the incident with HYDRA."

Bucky's (right) flesh hand crushed the pen in his grip, taking a long breath. "All right," he sighed, "so, why come today?"

"What's really going on, Buck?" She worried softly. "Is it really whatever's going on with Peach? You're this pissed off? What'd she even do?"

"She just..." He cut himself off with a long sigh. "It's nothing."

"Bucky," Nat gave a pointed look.

"She's just avoiding me," he muttered. "It's like she's barely home, almost like a ghost."

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes, and no," Bucky snipped, rolling his neck out. "I'm just worried about her now, she's never not communicated before."

"Something's bothering her," Nat shrugged. "She probably needs you right now, Buck."

"I can't do it all," he whispered. "I can't be who she wants and run this organization at the same time."

"She doesn't need that, she just needs you to be her partner," Natasha spoke softly. "She needs to feel loved and supported, and surely, she maybe felt weird about whatever you were projecting. Instead of taking it out on your men," she smirked, "why don't you just talk to her? 'Cause I hear you're bein' a more-than-usual asshole lately. You need to ease up or get laid, 'cause you're taking it out on good, loyal men, and that's entirely unfair."

"They can take it."

"Sure, but they shouldn't have to," Nat rolled her eyes. "Look, since you won't answer me, I'm assuming the sour mood is in regard to whatever relationship issues you have right now?"

"Sure," he tossed the pen away, opened a skinny drawer to his right and select an identical one.

"Bucky," she growled.

He sighed, "She's lying to me, Nat. Saying she's with you when she's not... Is this an affair? She's gone all the time now."

"No way," Nat laughed. "Baby girl doesn't have the energy to entertain anyone - let alone two men. You're just the exception."

"Why lie, then?"

"Maybe she didn't want you questioning her..."

"No shit."

"Well, did you get into a fight?"

"No."

"Any reason she doesn't want to be home?"

He shook his head with a sigh, "Not that I know of."

"You had to do something."

"Honest, I haven't. She was being all clingy, but then one day, a switch flipped."

Nat frowned, "You think... Your girlfriend is being clingy... Because she was kidnapped and beaten up... Because of your fucking job... And is probably scared...out of...her mind...? I get that correct?"

Bucky paused for a long moment, muttering, "Oh, my God."

"Yeah, you asshole. Think of it that way! She's afraid!" Natasha snapped. "And probably picked up on your energy, so, she made herself scarce."

"I didn't mean - "

"I don't care, go home, apologize to that sweet angel - she doesn't deserve this."

Bucky paused, "What is 'this' exactly?"

"James. Focus on the present - your woman. Go make this right. We all know you're this big, bad dude - but it's okay to be a little sensitive towards the woman who loves you without condition!"

Bucky relented, figuring the redheaded Russian mobster was right.

The entire drive home, Bucky considered the ways you had changed in the few, short weeks since he vented to Sam and Steve about your clinginess. You didn't take meals with him, didn't cook, work-out, or do anything you used to do together. Sex? Forget it. Dates? Nope. Cuddling? No, you're always 'too hot'. And when he thought about it, he remembers seeing the wads of cash he'd leave for you stuffed in his sock drawer - surely trying to make him think it was just another emergency fund he had hidden. You never spent his money, feeling humiliated by his choice of words.

Clingy...

You didn't text or call him when he was gone, you hadn't even so much as kissed him in what felt like ages... Well, more like you hadn't initiated any kisses...

His heart weighed in his chest as he realized he hadn't even so much as hugged you in days. You were rarely in the apartment together, and when you were, you were just silent and busy with chores. It was as if you operated on the exact opposite schedule as he did, went to new extents to avoid him, and his heart clenched in his chest.

When he got home, you were caught cooking in the kitchen - being obvious that you weren't expecting him. The door slammed and his baritone voice snapped, "Peach!"

You gulped, holding the sauce-covered wooden spoon to your chest. When he rounded around the corner, he found you and slowed down, sighing in relief. "What's wrong?" You worried in a timid tone.

He panted lightly, relaying, "Needed to find you."

"I'm here."

"I know," he relented, charging up to you and engulfing you in a tight, heavy hug. "I needed to talk to you, Peach," he whispered.

"What's wrong?"

"You. You're what's wrong."

"What the fuck does that - "

"No, no," he pulled back to stare down at you fondly, "I don't mean it like that, just that... You're struggling. I can see that. But you're not alone, I'm here with you, and I got a little caught up in my head when I realized someone was so very dependent on me - it fucking scared me. But then... Then you just shut yourself off and hid away from me, and oh, my God, it's so much worse, baby. Don't do that," he breathed, "okay? Don't ever shut me out - don't stop loving me, don't stop talking to me, don't give up on us. I can't read your mind, you can't read mine, it's not an excuse - but we understand better when we trust each other enough to communicate what's required. I'm so sorry I got caught up in myself, I didn't know what you needed - but I'm here now, I'm here - I'm not leaving you."

You collapsed into his chest, taking a shuddering breath.

"Don't ever stop talking to me, Peach," Bucky whispered, kissing the top of your head; keeping you close. "I'm so sorry, baby, if I - "

"If?" You snapped, pulling back to glare at him through your tears. "I heard you, Bucky. I heard you talking to Sam and Steve, and about how clingy I am."

"I was wrong," he insisted. "I was overwhelmed and tired and just stretched thin, the easiest thing to do is attack those closest to me, and that's you. It's not right, it's the worst I could do to you after all you've been through, and I'm so sorry. I was wrong, you're not the person to take this out on - and I'm so sorry, Peach."

You sighed, "I don't mean to be... I don't mean to cling - "

"Nah," he chuckled, caressing your cheek, "you cling as much as you want. Cling as tight as you want, baby, don't let me go. I'm sorry for what I said and the way it made you feel, it was wrong - so fucking wrong of me, and I see that. When you pulled away from me, I just... I couldn't think. It felt so wrong, and I knew it was my fault." He took your face in both palms, promising, "I'm so sorry, Peach."

You shrugged meekly, "It's okay."

"It's not."

"No, but apologizing is a step in the right direction."

He nodded, "What else can I do?"

"Nothing - "

"Peach."

You paused to think, smiling shyly, "Movie night?"

"Whatever my pretty girl wants," he nodded.

"Hmm... Get a bath with me?"

"All right... Sure, okay..."

"And face masks."

He sighed, "Okay."

"And mani-pedis."

"Baby."

"You said you were making it up to me, right?"

He smirked, "That's right... All right, yeah, sure, fine, we can..." He sighed again, "We can do all that, Peach, whatever you want."

"I just want you," you told him softly. "I didn't mean to be so clingy. I was just afraid... I felt afraid everyday, just so very unsure in this life. You're the only thing that makes sense to me, Buck, and when I heard you, I just... I guess I realized how dependent I'd been and wanted to give you space. Last thing I want is to smother you, to drive you away from me."

"Not ever gonna happen," he promised softly. "I just didn't handle it like I should've. I'm sorry, Peach, but I'm here now - for whatever you need. Want me to take a few days off, just be together? I'll arrange it. Want to get away for a bit? We can go."

"I just need you," you whispered. "Only you and I should be okay - I can be okay if I have you, but feeling like I lost you? Even a fraction? Buck... James, it was such a harrowing feeling, I wasn't sure what to do to move forward. So, I think I just panicked, shut down; thought if I could just get back to normal, you'd love me again..."

"I never stopped loving you," he swore, "I just had a bad lapse in my own judgement. Nothing against you, baby. Nothing."

You nodded again, letting him tuck you into his chest; perfectly snug under his chin as he coiled his arms around you. He let out a long sigh, his guilt swelling to new heights, but for that present moment, everything seemed okay.

Felt okay.

Appeared okay.

And you'd both do whatever it took to remain as okay as you possibly could.

requesting rules and masterlist

Marvel masterlist

Clingy Baby collection masterlist

[indie-summer]

The Cycling RPF Rec List

for @wtfanworkclassification

(tagging the blogs of the authors I know!!)

1. Favorite smut: a vocabulary, expanding by @strigimorphaes

It’s almost unfair that I made myself choose only one for each category, but yes, if I must, this is The One Smut for me. To put it mildly, it makes me weak in the knees every time I read it. It must have been like five times by now. To be read with the AC on and a glass of water by your side. Gotta love p*rn with feelings.

2. Favorite multi chapter: Faking It by @goingslightlymads

Am I biased when talking about this fic? Yes, because it was one of my Secret Santa gifts. Do I think I am unfair? Nope, not at all! I’ve never had any other experience in Cycling RPF like when I read (scratch that, binged) this one: it made me laugh and cry and it had my heart racing and had me hugging pillows at 3am. What a ride.

3. Favorite Sci-fi AU: jonas vingegaard goes back to the sea by @bakurasilver

Beautiful and clever. A reflection on the meaning of life and love, undercover as sci-fi. Bawled my eyes out with this one.

4. Favorite Fantasy AU: Fierce Creatures by @inbetweenpages

Great world building, incredibly fun and hot. Come here for wouthieu and stay for mathsper friendship, a very mysterious vampire!Jonas and a sentient house.

5. Favorite fluff: Worth it by @ridingupsaturn

Melancholic fluff. My favorite kind of fluff. Read it about ten times and had my heart fluttering through all of them. Love is kind of awesome, isn’t it?

6. Favorite angst: Drought by booming_business (part 2 of the A Study in Water series)

Shoutout to sad carpenter!Jonas who made a complete wreck out of me. The entire series is excellent, but this fic in particular is a masterpiece on its own! Also foundational exes!tadejonas fic before it was even a thing. Groundbreaking!!

7. Favorite drabble: doing what heroes do by @etapereine

I have two favorite types of drabbles: the one in which you feel like you read an entire story in just 100 words and the one that immediately makes you feel in absolute need of a 50k story as a follow-up because of all the possibilities it introduces you to. This one is definitely the second kind. I really need a full Percy Jackson AU long fic on my desk in, like, a week ago. Olympian demigods at the Olympics maybe??? Someone please???

8. Favorite crack/comedy: The 2024 Paris-Roubaix mass heat incident by Anonymous

Top 5 funniest shit I’ve ever read in my life and I’m not even exaggerating.

9. Favorite non-cyclists AU: all hearts in love use their own tongues by @thedeadparrot

I’m sorry, I’m not really a well-studied person when it comes to English literature. This is the only way I could ever read Shakespeare. I regret nothing.

10. Favorite remix/fix-it: Unbelievable, or only in Gotham by Lili_Writes_Banhof

Yes I’m parcial yes of course I am biased because it’s fixing one of my fics, but I don’t care. It’s cute, it’s fun, it’s fluffy (like all the awesome works from this author), you should all immediately go read it!

11. Favorite Soulmate AU: All your life by @interdisciplinary-disaster

I never once had given any thoughts about geese before this fic. Also this is the only cycling fic where the main character is not one of the cyclists, but an adorably exhausted old goose (at least the way I see it, because frankly, what a scene stealer). It changed my core!!

12. Favorite rarepair: Jonas is the boss by @mundanememory

Because ok, now everyone loves Jonas/Matteo but back in April it was a rarepair!! And this fic is awesome and hot and clever and features little big boss being… erm, well treated by a lovable giant ginger, so it deserves a million recs!

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Maybe I'm being boring and No Fun and it's Not That Deep but it's my blog and I can say what I want 😠.

But my whole thing about people on the internet constantly talking about how Paris is so shitty and terrible that it causes psychiatric distress in tourists is that:

The primary reason for it is not that Paris is uniquely awful, it's because Paris is heavily romanticized in media leading some people to have extremely high expectations that are not met when it turns out to be a large city with the typical large city problems.

"Paris syndrome" affects an extremely small number of people and is largely noted in Japanese tourists, who come from a country that is uniquely safe, clean, and orderly. The vast majority of cities in the world are significantly dirtier, more chaotic, and more dangerous than many areas of Japan.

Paris is in the top 10 most visited cities and France as a whole receives the most international tourists of any country in the world. Obviously some experiences are going to be negative, but it's clearly not widespread enough to deter the millions of tourists who visit Paris every year 🤷.

I think if you go to Paris with the realistic expectation that it's a major city with one of the highest population densities in Europe and a metro area population of over 18 million people and will not be a perfect, idealised theme park, you can enjoy the city for what it is.

[saintescuderia]

welcome to the mini series of the random, mindless thoughts had by a poet disguised in an orange jumpsuit watching cars speed by all weekend. enjoy!

--- note: 5am starts, 7pm finishes. all four days. gotta love formula 1!

thursday: media day!

i want the ferrari jacket

there are school kids here?

i don’t want the ferrari jacket

$7 for a small can of red bull is THEFT

especially since they broke the cost cap

me walking through the “accredited personnel” gate and tapping my special lanyard is a CORE memory

i think my uber driver dropped me off on the opposite side of the track

*stressing about being unable to admire the sights of albert park bc i’m stress-running from the opposite end of the track to my station*

pls don’t be a dick and say i’m late - i know

how is a 5am wake up not early enough HOW?

“last year i was stationed at the corner where charles spun out.”

sole thought = 💀💀💀💀

i. fucking. love. cars.

the whole SENSORY experience of a race ffffffffffffuuuuuck

“be careful taking pictures because that security camera is on us and is straight to race control and the FIA.” is such a cool sentence to hear

a porsche gtr should not be covered with branding idc

i’m definitely going to abuse caffeine this weekend

friday: FP1 / FP2

the sun is rising over the lake as i walk on the albert park track and i’m happy to be alive

especially as i found a toilet that isn’t a port-a-loo

ah, a cafe that does good decent coffee thank GOD

am i going to pay $10 for a croissant?

i'm going to pay $10 for a croissant.

i lived in paris but this one fresh lune choc croissant has topped it all

no like there will never be another croissant experience to beat me eating a fresh pain au chocolat on a f1 circuit as the sun rises over the water with the melbourne skyline in the background

aramco engineers are walking behind me as i shit talk about f1, nice

“it is an increasingly unique experience peeing in a port-a-loo beside a formula one track as cars race by.”

120’000 is a LOT of people

how has the float not broken yet?

metro boomin has released an album as i stand before live formula one. life has PEAKED

fernando alonso is the first F1 driver i ever saw live

there is a shift in formula one as the heritage fans of motor racing are on the out as the next generation of fans absorbed in driver hype and social media takes over and we see this in how F1 has created the new US tracks and made them all into spectacles and fans are here because of it being “cool” instead of caring about cars

… maybe i should buy the redbull jacket instead?

bonus: sole thought during the pitlane walk for the marshals

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

saturday: FP3 / qualifying

the relief of thinking you’re late and then seeing someone you know HA

commentators are now contractually obligated to bring up saudi arabia every time they talk about ollie bearman

jesus they’re as bad as the f1 girlies

i have to watch the grand prix replay after all of this i have no idea what’s actually going on

CHARLES GOES FASTER THAN MAX HA

kimi spinning out has me actively wanting to cry

a safety car FROM THE PIT EXIT

welcome to F2 everyone 👏👏👏

not me lying to the cute irish guy hitting on me about @saintescuderia

a big fat ha at the eshays holding their puffer jackets - even they can’t stand the heat

don’t flex on me that you’re here at F1 when you don’t even know what’s going on yourself bruhhhh

to the red bull fan telling me i’m “dramatic” for rolling under the fence (it’s how marshals have to do it) pls get help

$7 for a calispo is a JOKE

recording F1 quali isn’t even worth it bc they're TOO FAST

JOKES I GOT A PHOTO WITH ALBONO

i’m very lucky for my team of marshals :))))))))))

i’m only going to eat half my muffin

*finishes the whole thing*

sunday: race!

KIMI ANTONELLI!

do i ask for a photo?

*every photo of charles leclerc being abused flashes through my mind*

nah leave him be

five minutes later: i regret not asking him

the group of aussies dressed as lance stroll drunk at 9am have my heart and my respect

i need a coffee

seeing kimi walk right by me has now made so much invested for f2

i really need a coffee

yep they screwed kimi with all those safety cars

i really, really need a coffee

we get to go ON TRACK? for the DRIVERS PARADE

*starts practicing “get well soon” in spanish*

my heart is BEATING

lol jokes carlos didn’t even look at us

*checks footage to see that i accidentally just recorded guanyu zhou next to carlos the whole time :))))*

lol are they putting lewis and charles together all the time?

every marshal: “that was the shittest parade ever.”

i need a drink

pls don’t talk to me for the next two hours

don't meet your heroes kids

but also why the fuck did they do the float in one big car? and do INTERVIEWS? this is legit the one time the drivers can be there JUST for the FANS

F1 can PISS OFF

race start = okay it's happening

waitwaitwaitwaitWAITDIDIJUSTSEECARLOSOVERTAKEMAX?!

nevermind i love him

"race control has asked that you calm down, marshals are supposed to be neutral."

lol at the entirety of albert cheering that max is slowly coming to a DNF

mclaren swapping oscar for lando is DISGUSTING fuck zak brown

somehow, i've forgotten that charles is just there

SEND IT CARLOS VAmos

(this is all because i told you que te mejores pronto!)

daniel ricciardo....man..... aus gp can't market you like this.......

damn yuki got HANDS

ferrari and mclaren having the top 4 places is just *chefs kiss*

lewis just had to stall just pass my sector like i hope ur okay but couldn't u not be ok in front of me?

red bull deserves this after all the FLACK i've copped from red bulls fans ("dramatic" MY ASS)

wait george russell ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

singapore all over again. i can already see the memes.

somehow marshalling a gp has you closer and more removed from the whole thing i have no idea what's going on

(literally the only time i used my F1TV live timing)

finishing after the safety car means i can't stick my head out and clap for carlos FUCK OFF

wait, he came up right UP TO MY SIDE OF THE TRACK TO WAVE

... do you think he noticed me?

[supercalifragipopculturevomit]

A GUIDE THROUGH DANIEL BRÜHL'S FILMOGRAPHY

Now that I’ve gone through most of Daniel’s works, I thought this table might help those who are about to embark on the same obsessive journey I began months ago. I have no intention of spoiling anything, I’m only hoping this will provide someone a good idea of what to expect and help them in the selection process. Like, All Quiet on the Western Front is an excellent film but I wouldn’t want to watch that when I’ve had a really shitty day and I just need something light and dumb.

I do a 1 to 10 rating to make it as precise and objective as possible but know that some areas will be subject to my personal taste, factors like the mood I was in while watching it, and the oft-faulty machine that is my memory.

Before I get into the sections, let me quickly paint a picture of my personal taste. From Daniel’s works, my top 3 are Rush (2013), Goodbye Lenin! (2003), and Inglorious Basterds (2009). If we get into favorite films of all-time, it would include Parasite (2019), Before Sunrise (1995), When Harry Met Sally (1989), Atonement (2007), A Quiet Place (2018), Amélie (2001), The Dark Knight (2008), Arrival (2016), and Past Lives (2023). I’m always down for a dark comedy, an epic drama/romance, and a psychological thriller.

Now that's out of the way, onto the TABLE SECTIONS:

ROLE PROMINENCE – how much do you see of Daniel in this film? And, no, this has nothing to do with his ass—though that is always a welcome sight.

IMPORTANT – do we learn something from this movie? Are there interesting concepts being explored? Is it relevant? Does it carry a significant message, however obvious? Is it a career highlight for Daniel? These are the considerations for this category.

PAINFUL – are the themes dark and heavy? Is it stressful to watch? Is Daniel tortured into a pulp? Does it tug at your heartstrings? Is the movie deliberately cringey and embarrassing? This section covers a wide spectrum, so you must refer to the other sections to infer if it’s worth the pain. I have a high tolerance for violence and dark humor, what pains me is a plot that goes nowhere, a poor script, or a movie that wastes so much potential. How invested I am with the story and the characters also has a bearing on my rating. For instance, I feel zero empathy for Chris in Cargo because he's an idiot who had it coming.

WATCHABLE – does it hold your attention throughout? Is it enjoyable? Is it something you can watch over and over again? I have to stress that this section is sometimes influenced by my expectations of a movie and, often, by what I need in that moment.

ADDITIONAL NOTES – here I try to add factors that might have affected my viewing experience, further insight into my rating, and other vital (or not-so-vital) information.

p.s. didn't bother watching 2 Days in Paris and 2 Days in New York because I knew he only had a cameo in those.

OTHER RELATED BLOGS:

The Best of Daniel Brühl 5 Types of Daniel Brühl Characters In search of Daniel Brühl movies?

[justforbooks]

Françoise Hardy

Icon of 60s music who sang of love as a source of ‘wretched, profound, endless questioning’

Françoise Hardy, who has died of cancer aged 80, shot to fame as part of France’s génération yé-yé, the jaunty transatlantic and cross-channel collision between French chanson and American rock’n’roll that also produced Johnny Hallyday and France Gall. But from the start, there was something that set her apart: a wistfulness, a sentimental self-reflection, a poise that belied a lifelong shyness and insecurity. A 60s icon, as big, for a while, in London as in Paris, Hardy was, in many ways, the antithesis of that restive, revolutionary decade.

Unlike her contemporaries, when she sang of love it was about “suffering and frustration, illusion and disillusion; wretched, profound, endless questioning”. Her songs, she told Le Monde, were a necessary outlet: “I wrote about my experience … A beautiful, melancholic melody is what best transcends the pain.”

Men fell, in droves, for her timid beauty. Mick Jagger described Hardy as his “ideal woman”. David Bowie, “passionately in love” for years, courted her backstage, in dressing gown and embroidered slippers. In 1964, the sleeve notes of Another Side of Bob Dylan featured a whole poem “for françoise hardy/at the seine’s edge”. (Two years later, after a concert at the Olympia music hall in Paris, Dylan invited the singer to a party in his suite at the George V, one of the capital’s grandest hotels. In his bedroom, he played her two tracks from Blonde on Blonde: Just Like a Woman and I Want You. Hardy always insisted she was so starstruck she never got the message.)

But the love of Hardy’s life, the father of her son and the agonising inspiration for many of her songs, was the French singer and actor Jacques Dutronc, whom she met in 1967 and married in 1981. The couple separated in the 90s, but never divorced, remaining on good terms. “Love is a remarkable force, even if its price is perpetual torment,” she said. “But without that torment, I would not have written a single lyric.”

Hardy was born in Nazi-occupied Paris, in the same maternity clinic at the top of the rue des Martyrs in the ninth arrondissement that had delivered Hallyday a few months earlier. Her mother was Madeleine Hardy, an accountant, and her father, Pierre Dillard, was a company director who was married to another woman. Françoise grew up in a two-room apartment nearby with her sister, Michèle, born 18 months later, and a solitary mother with whom Françoise had a “fusional, symbiotic relationship … I loved her probably too much – exclusively, unconditionally”. The girls rarely saw their father, who often neglected to pay his share of their upkeep and was regularly late with the modest fees for their Catholic education.

Weekends were spent with grandparents – notably an “egocentric, narrow-minded, frigid and emasculating” grandmother – outside Paris; many childhood holidays with friends of her mother’s in Austria, to learn German. Shy, dreamy, deeply ashamed of her unconventional family, Hardy turned to the radio, where in the late 50s, on the English service of Radio Luxembourg, she encountered a music – Presley, the Everly Brothers, Brenda Lee, Cliff Richard – that “affected me more than anything else. That ended up changing my life.”

Aged 16, she asked for a guitar for passing the first part of her baccalauréat. A year later, having passed the second part with honours, she taught herself a handful of chords “that produced most of my songs over the next 10 years”, and began writing. At the Sorbonne, studying German, she auditioned, unsuccessfully but not disastrously, for one record company, and started singing lessons.

Hardy’s contract with Vogue Records – who wanted “a female Johnny Hallyday” – was signed on 14 November 1961. She made her first TV appearance, in black and white on the state broadcaster’s only channel, six months later, and released her debut EP, featuring three songs of her own and a cover of a Bobby Lee Trammell song.

Her breakthrough came, rather incongruously, on the night of Charles de Gaulle’s October 1962 referendum asking voters whether France’s future presidents should be directly elected. In a musical interlude while the nation awaited the result, Hardy performed a track from her EP, Tous les garçons et les filles. The nation loved it. The song (sample line: “I walk down the streets, my soul in sorrow”) became a monumental hit in France, spending a total of 15 weeks at No 1 between October 1962 and April 1963 and becoming a million-seller. Within weeks Hardy was on the cover of Paris Match, plunged, still in her teens, into the whirlwind of the swinging 60s (which she detested: she disapproved of casual sex, avoided drugs, and could only ever remember being drunk twice).

Her first boyfriend, the photographer Jean-Marie Périer, ensured her picture – miniskirt, white boots, long hair, signature fringe – went around the world. Courrèges, Yves Saint Laurent and Paco Rabanne competed to dress her, for seasons at the Olympia in Paris, the Savoy in London, and shows in Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Denmark, Spain, Canada and South Africa. In New York, William Klein photographed her for Vogue. Roger Vadim, Jean-Luc Godard and John Frankenheimer cast her in films.

The hits flowed, recorded – some in London, produced by Charles Blackwell – in French, English, German, Italian, some written by Hardy, others not.

But at the end of the 60s, barely five years after she began, Hardy abruptly gave up performing live, and the cinema. “I hated what it all involved,” she explained. “Being separated from the man I loved, the waiting, the solitude, depending on the phone. And I’ve never been able to act. I can’t simulate, or lie. Songwriting, on the other hand … dives deep.” Life in the fast lane, she declared, was “a gilded prison”.

But she continued recording, releasing a dozen bestselling albums in France, of which she always cited La Question (1971), a sophisticated collaboration with the Brazilian musician Tuca, as her favourite. She duetted with French artists Henri Salvador, Alain Souchon and Benjamin Biolay, and later with Damon Albarn and Iggy Pop.

Hardy was never very interested in politics (she decamped to Corsica with Dutronc for the duration of les événements of May 1968, whose student leaders she distrusted), although she had strong opinions about questions such as abortion. Hardy was, however, fascinated by astrology, writing two books on the subject.

She continued to work in later life, despite claiming that her 1988 album, Décalages, would be her last. A string of new recordings in the 1990s and 2000s, a 2008 autobiography, Le Désespoir des Singes (the title apparently derived from a monkey puzzle tree in the Bagatelle gardens near her Paris flat, because its sharp, spiky leaves reminded her of “men who have caused me despair”), and her last album, Personne d’autre, released in 2018, appeared despite family and personal tragedies: Hardy was at her mother’s side when, suffering from Charcot–Marie–Tooth disease, she died by euthanasia in 1994.

Hardy herself was diagnosed in 2004 with lymphoma, eventually recovering after an experimental form of chemotherapy – but only after she had been hospitalised, in an induced coma, in 2015. Three years later, another tumour was detected, this time in her ear. In 2021, she told the magazine Femme Actuelle (by email; she said she could no longer talk) that she would like to be able to choose to end her life, as her mother had done, and in 2023, in an interview with Paris Match, called on Emmanuel Macron, the French president, to legalise assisted dying.

Shortly before that second diagnosis, in 2018, Hardy reflected on a career that had brought pretty much every award French music can offer (plus a medal from the Académie Française), telling the Observer she had always been surprised that people – “even very good musicians” – had been moved by her voice.

“I know its limitations, I always have,” she said. “But I have chosen carefully. What a person sings is an expression of what they are. Luckily for me, the most beautiful songs are not happy songs. The songs we remember are the sad, romantic songs.”

She is survived by Dutronc, and by their son, Thomas.

🔔 Françoise Madeleine Hardy, singer, born 17 January 1944; died 11 June 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[batmannotes]

DC IN CONCERT LAUNCHES “BATMAN” LIVE CONCERT TOUR TO CELEBRATE ICONIC FILM’s 35th ANNIVERSARY

Enjoy The Classic DC Super Hero Film With A Live Orchestra Playing Danny Elfman’s Grammy-nominated Original Score

TCG Entertainment, a leader in live entertainment and touring productions, in conjunction with Warner Bros. Discovery Global Themed Entertainment and DC, will bring Warner Bros. Pictures’ 1989 blockbuster film “Batman” to symphony halls around the globe as part of its DC in Concert series. Celebrating the film’s 35th anniversary, the “Batman” tour kicks off January 2024 in Los Angeles at the Dolby Theater and stops in twelve U.S. cities before heading to Paris and London. Guests who attend will enjoy the film projected onto a larger-than-life screen while Danny Elfman’s iconic musical score is performed by a live orchestra. Visit  www.DCFilmsinConcert.com for ticket information.

Released June 23, 1989, Warner Bros. Pictures’ DC Super Hero film “Batman” was the top grossing film that year and has remained a fan-favorite for more than three decades. The film was composer Danny Elfman’s first collaboration with director Tim Burton and the score was later nominated for a Grammy award. The “Batman Theme” has become an iconic piece, evoking the Caped Crusader for many generations.

“Hot on the heels of our success with our first DC in Concert tour, we are excited to bring the classic 1989 ‘Batman’ and its acclaimed score to diehard fans and new generations for the film’s 35th anniversary,” said Stephen Cook, President, TCG Entertainment. “We create an unforgettable concert experience and are proud of the added creativity the DC in Concert series offers audiences to make the night an epic event.”

Not your Grandma’s symphony, DC in Concert attendees enjoy an enhanced concert experience with spectacular stage lighting, post-event autographs, merchandise sales, and more. Guests are encouraged to dress up as their favorite DC Super Hero. (Please note that “Batman” has a PG-13 rating and runs for approximately two hours.)

(Source: TCG Entertainment)

For 2024, “Batman” from DC in Concert will visit the following cities for one-night only, with more dates to come:

In “Batman,” The Dark Knight, defender of law and order in Gotham City, treads the shadow zone between right and wrong, fighting with only his skill in martial arts and his keenly honed mind to defend the innocent and to purge the memory of his parents’ brutal murder – always keeping his true identity as millionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne a closely guarded secret.

The “Batman” concert is presented by MGP Live in select cities and is part of “DC In Concert,” a global touring film concert series featuring a live symphony orchestra performing, to picture, every note from fan-favorite blockbuster films starring DC Super Heroes. Pre-sale code sign up starts today (Sept. 8) and lasts through Sept. 13 when the pre-sale tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. local time. General sale tickets will be available Sept. 15 starting 10 a.m. local time. Please visit www.DCFilmsinConcert.com to sign up, purchase tickets and learn more about concert dates in cities nationwide.

[merge-conflict]

some questions for writers

tagged by @luvwich, tagging @corpocyborg, @seraphfighter, @pvthfinder

Last book I read: I've read the first 10 pages of so many books in the past 6 months but I don't think those count? So probably Ancillary Mercy

Greatest literary inspirations:  Ann Leckie, Laurie Marks, N. K. Jemisin

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write: Nothing in particular? If I really want something it's because I want to write it, usually (although I do enjoy seeing other takes on stuff). I never know what's good until I stumble on it. Reading has been difficult for me lately in general. (symptoms disease)

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: Speculating on the internal systems and operations and infrastructure tech at Arasaka Tower could be my Paris sewers moment, ngl.

You can recognise my writing by: I use action tags a lot (Leckian influence). Repetition is a big one for me, the rule of threes, like it is, it is, and it isn't. Inserting common tech experiences into my writing (dealing with hardware. having a stupid mistake fixed by rubber duckying) Limited POV narration with narrators that are usually unreliable mostly through omission. Probably a bunch of other stuff that I'm too lost in the sauce to notice about my own predilections.

My most controversial take (current fandom): Lots of strong opinions about the depiction and use of tech within cyberpunk which is less rule of cool and more my brain is so warped by continuous application of threat analysis that I cannot simply Let it Go. I could talk about it forever but my audience is limited to a handful of people unless I can get my irl friend and coworker into cyberpunk and simply infodump straight to him.

More direct in scope, I think the eldritch killer AI trope is missing the forest for the trees in cyberpunk themes where the real horror is what people do to each other and the systems and societies they create that make it possible.

Top three favourite tropes: reluctant allies to lovers, that little smidge of hilarity in the midst of absolute horror and grief, the exploration of what it means to be human (or just a person)

What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): 0.5 - The spirit is willing but the mind is a rotting moldy spud

Share a random frustration: The reporting system I've been using heavily for work the past few days is web-based (hisssssss) and if I type some words and then switch desktops too quickly away from my browser and back then it just deletes the last few sentences I wrote because they didn't get to auto-saved somehow. I have not flown into a homicidal rage about this yet but it's been touch and go. My desire to kill all software that does not function locally on my host only grows by the hour, but also I'm sort of sleepy now so whatever.

[stephensmithuk]

The Illustrious Client

First published in the US in 1924 and the UK in 1925, the latter as a two-parter, this forms part of Case-book.

The first part in The Strand ends with Watson seeing the newspaper headline about the attack on Holmes.

Northumberland Avenue is a street running from Trafalgar Square to the Thames Embankment. It includes a pub called The Sherlock Holmes.

The Carlton Club was founded by the Conservative Party and was long its defacto headquarters. Originally on Carlton Terrace, it moved to Pall Mall in 1835, with the building rebuilt in 1856. A direct hit by a German bomb in 1940 destroyed the building and the Club moved to 69 St James's Street, former home of Arthur's Club. Women were not allowed to be associate members until the 1970s and not full members until 2008, with Margaret Thatcher getting honorary membership when she become Tory leader in 1975. She later become club president in 2009, although by his point she had dementia and died in 2013.

The general consensus is that the "Illustrious Client" is no less than Edward VII himself, who Holmes may have previously gotten the Beryl Coronet back for.

Prague was then under Austrian rule.

The Splügen Pass, used for travel since Roman times, connects Switzerland and Italy and with its great height, hairpins and spectacular views, is considered one of the greatest driving challenges on the planet, having featured in Top Gear. The San Bernandino tunnel has taken most of the non-tourist traffic and it is now closed in winter for safety reasons.

Kingston upon Thames, known as Kingston for short, is a town located 10 miles SW of Charing Cross. Until 1965, it was in Surrey before becoming part of Greater London and part of the Royal Borough of Kingston upon Thames. Surrey County Council were based there until 2021, when their offices moved to Reigate.

The Hurlingham Club in Fulham is where horse polo's rules were established - it even hosted Olympic polo in the 1908 London Games, but the fields were compulsorily purchased by the local council after the Second World War for housing. It was also home to pigeon shooting and was home of world croquet, still holding major events in the latter. Edward VII was a keen patron of the site.

Charlie Peace was an English burglar and double murderer, executed in 1879. He ended up featuring in Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, which was oddly enough replaced between 2016 and 2022 with an immersive Sherlock Holmes Experience... which at £66.50 a ticket was a bit too expensive.

HMP Parkhurst, a Category B prison located on the Isle of Wight, merged in 2009 with HMP Albany to form HMP Isle of Wight, although each part retains its own name. Notable inmates include the Kray Twins, Peter Sutcliffe, Ian Brady and currently Serbian war criminal Radovan Karadžić.

Hypnotism was rather in vogue by this time.

Apaches were the name given to various criminal gangs in Paris; named after the Native American tribe. There are various suggestions as to how that came about.

Montmartre, in the 18th arrondissement of Paris, was widely known for its artistic community during this time, with many a famous name living there due to the low rents. It's still there and development is restricted due to the historic character. Pigalle, Paris's red-light district, is next door.

Kitty Winter would feature as a character in Elementary, played by Ophelia Lovibond. Gruner turns up as well.

"Tinker’s curse" is Kitty saying, in the language of the time, that she does not give an [expletive deleted].

Ruritania is a fictional country first featured in the 1894 Anthony Hope novel The Prisoner of Zenda. It has become a byword for quaint small European countries in Central and Eastern Europe.

China was still an Empire in 1902, nominally ruled by the Guangxu Emperor, aka Zaitan, but an 1898 coup resulted in his loss of any real power; he was even in house arrest for a while. He died in 1908, probably poisoned by arsenic. His nephew, Puyi, would be the last Chinese Emperor and is beyond the scope of this article.

I cannot discuss Chinese pottery in any depth and so will not attempt to.

Some husbands might have questioned the gallantry of King Edward VII, who had a box for his mistresses at his coronation.

Armorial bearings are the "shield" part of a coat of arms. The British royal one traditionally depicted a bare-breasted woman as part of the harp on the bottom left, but this is no longer standard practice.

Edward VII, while having no actual political power, was able to exercise quite a bit of influence behind the scenes, especially in foreign and defence policy.

All criminal prosecutions are brought in the name of the monarch, rendered "R" (Rex or Regina) in text and "the Crown" when spoken). i.e. R vs. Winter. In addition, judicial reviews (i.e. is this government decision legal) are also brought in the name of the monarch, with the name of the actual plaintiff in brackets since a 2001 change to the format, e.g. R (Smith) vs. Secretary of State for the Home Department. It is common for initials to be used in those brackets to protect the identity of a plaintiff, such as the recent decision on flying migrants to Rwanda.

[sanshofox]

There’s currently a wave of content, ig or tiktok or youtube, that shows people complaining about berlin. Like they moved here for work or studying and are now disappointed in berlin and germany in general. „Everything‘s so hard here and the people are depressing and it’s dirty and it stinks and bla bla bla“. Even germans moving to berlin are frustrated. There’s even a rating where berlin is in the top 5 of most disappointing travel spots worldwide.

Then why are you still here? Why is berlin still this hyped when there’s obviously better places in or outside of germany? Living space in berlin is nonexistent at this point. It’s a crisis. Cities like paris or positano and others are going through the same thing atm. And people have nothing better to do than complain but still occupy living space?? All those years in media they hyped up berlin to a level that created a large influx which berlin isn’t made for or accustomed to. It created even bigger problems for the city, but there’d be too many to list here now (just me venting). And now after a few years of the hype it’s suddenly the most disgusting and depressing place?? Then why do you buy apartments only to abandon them and then not even rent them out? Ohh?? Because it’s tax benefiting you in berlin (another big problem here).

The thing that annoys me here is those „prestigious“ people making a spot their new it place for business and living without being informed whatsoever, just making up an ideal and then having a tantrum when it’s not fulfilled. But when they leave the problems and changed infrastructure are still here. We have lots of abandoned office space which worsened during covid and inflation, but no plans for new living space whatsoever. Another example would be elon musk planning to do business in brandenburg close to berlin, only for it to be abandoned when millions of euros were already put into this project (one of the reasons again: german culture didn’t live up to hype, especially work ethics wise. Yea guess what musk? We have unions and stricter work environment rules).

I know it’s becoming a worldwide phenomenon but I can only speak from my experience and being born in berlin and ever since living in berlin. You can observe how over the years berlin becomes smth like new york 2. and like I said the city and berliners aren’t made for it. Like berlin never had the best budget and infrastructure to begin with. Technology wise we are more than 10 years behind (like internet can be a mess sometimes).

[curator-on-ao3]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you so much for tagging me, @divinemissem13! ❤️

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 127

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 660,997

3. What fandoms do you write for? Star Treks, mostly Strange New Worlds, Lower Decks, Picard, and Voyager.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Tuvok’s Secret (G): Tuvok has a secret — and he trusts only one person onboard to keep it. (Kathryn Janeway & Tuvok)

Feet on the Ground (G): Something solid slams into Kathryn’s back. She stumbles forward, bumping Mark, who in turn careens into someone else. Kathryn turns to glare at the probably inebriated party-goer who didn’t watch where they were going. But, instead, she looks up to achingly familiar dark eyes and the curves and lines of a tattoo that Kathryn spent the last eighteen months telling herself she didn’t miss. (Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway)

The Halo Effect (M): Tom Paris and Kathryn Janeway didn’t intend to fall in love. (Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris)

Fly Me to the Moon (E): Kathryn Janeway and Tom Paris never met each other years before Voyager. Never served on a covert mission together. Never fell in love. Never planned a future together. Nope, never happened. Because a secret like that could lead to some … complex dichotomies. (Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris)

Bad Ensign (T): Harry Kim finds out he missed out on an important part of the Starfleet Academy experience. Hilarity and dirty jokes ensue. (ensemble, friendship fic)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes. If someone was kind enough to leave a comment, I’m going to thank them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I used to not know how to answer this question, but I recently got a kudos on Honey, I’m Home and while that story definitely isn’t “sit down crying” angst, I feel like maybe it qualifies? (Though In the Doorway might also fit under that criteria? Both stories are Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris, but they only get together in one of them.)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Either Feet on the Ground or Youthful Exuberance (Some Kind of Love). Feet on the Ground has Janeway and Chakotay finding their way together after their Delta Quadrant trauma (note: Chakotay is afraid to leave the Sol system for fear of getting pulled into the Delta Quadrant again — Prodigy!Chakotay didn’t exist yet when I wrote that but, from what I’ve heard, he could possibly relate). Youthful Exuberance lets our heroes, Christopher Pike and Una Chin-Riley, have all manner of ups and downs, but the tags promise a 100 percent happy ending and I was determined to deliver.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not that I’m aware of, usually.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. Vanilla because I find that interesting to write. (I’ll read all sorts of stuff.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I write crossovers within the Trekverse. The two craziest allowed Tuvok and Geordi LaForge to have tea together (Asunder [T] Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris) and Shannon O’Donnell Janeway to tell Benny Russell how much his writing has meant to her (Meeting of the Minds [G] Shannon O’Donnell Janeway & Benny Russell, Kathryn Janeway & Benjamin Sisko).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Other than by ChatGPT, not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, In the Doorway was translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, and am doing so again.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? NCC 1701

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? There’s one I technically finished about Tom Paris and Owen Paris in the aftermath of Owen’s beta canon torture by the Cardassians. But it’s really dark and I don’t know if I’ll ever edit or post it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Adaptability (to prompts), brevity, details.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I’m having trouble lately with voice and lack of vocabulary variety.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If necessary, a beta fluent in the language can be very helpful.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I consider that to be Voyager, but recently reflected on an even earlier fandom for me.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? My most recent fic always holds a place in my heart, so Disarmed (Mirror Una Chin-Riley/Mirror Christopher Pike) is special to me, and also was an interesting mental stretch because I’d never before written sex that the characters think is good but I think isn’t good. But my all-time favorite? Youthful Exuberance (Some Kind of Love). It’s my novel length love letter to Chris and Una, and it means a lot to me.

Tagging: Tumblr has been doing this fun thing lately where I don’t see posts from people I follow. So, if you actually see this, please consider yourself tagged with no pressure. Also, in addition to the wonderful people tagged by @divinemissem13, I’m tagging @grissomesque @fiadorable @emilie786 @genius2mania @lorcaswhisky @enterprise-come-in @marymoss1971 @sun-lit-roses @kejsarinna @iamstartraveller776 @isagrimorie @emonydeborah and the fantastic folks I’m not thinking of right now because I have tag anxiety.

[bayoubodycount]

10 Shocking Facts about Me Tag Game

Thanks for the summons @saintstars!

I was gifted TTOTBT when I was fifteen. I didn't start with that book. Nor did I start from the beginning. I found The Vampire Armand, devoured that, THEN began the series in order.

I've had a kidney transplant. Obviously you have to be very well matched with your donor but when my pre-op nurse told me that I'd hit 6 out the 6 criteria markers for compatibility with my match, she said it was akin to the probability of having an unknown twin coincidentally donating.

When a doctor assures you that only .00001% of patients experience something going wrong with a procedure, I have fallen into that tiniest of percentages so many times it's literally a statistical anomaly.

Randomly ran into a school friend when I was an exchange student in Switzerland and my host family took me to Paris. Saw her and her family at the Hard Rock Hotel.

First time getting stung by a bee, I was at school running and the fucker flew inside my mouth and got me. Spent the rest of the day sucking on ice cubes.

Same school a few years earlier, got my finger stuck in a classroom door. When getting me into the car to go to the ER, my teacher slammed my finger in the car door, making damn sure it was broken in two places.

Was diagnosed with a highly aggressive form of kidney failure 3 weeks after my son was born and was told I'd never live to see him enter high school. Last year I watched him graduate high school!

From 7th grade to freshman year in college I lost 9 friends. 3 of them over 1 weekend in unrelated suicides. 

Actress Courtney Thorne-Smith(from Melrose Place) came to the supermarket I was working at when I was like 21(I grew up in a town often referred to as the Beverly Hills of NorCal) she proceeded to treat many of my coworkers like absolute shit. When helping her out to car she asked if I watched Melrose Place. I took the opportunity to inform her that, “TV shows about business cunts sleeping their way to the top while causing unchecked drama” wasn't really my thing.

One of my grossest childhood injuries was from playing on the bars on the playground too much. I was also in gymnastics at the time, so that didn't help. But I guess I had a large blister starting up on my palm…which one day happened to slide off…yes the blister was the size of my whole palm and it burst. Didn't realize it until a friend pointed out my hand was bleeding like crazy. Thank GAWD it didn't hurt( but it did look pretty gross).

Tagging: @eyesofatragedy67, @punk-is-notdead, @mycupofstars, @keybearer92, @thefairylights, @marshmallowmatey, @cmorgana, @theradioactivespidergwen @fire-gift, @penguinsandbats

[maaarine]

Bibliography: articles posted on this blog in 2024

Posted in January

Men Just Don’t Trust Women – And It’s A Huge Problem (Damon Young, Huffington Post, Mar 16 2015)

Amsterdam sex workers protest against plan to move red light district (The Guardian, Oct 19 2023)

They were Israel’s ‘eyes on the border’ - but their Hamas warnings went unheard (Alice Cuddy, BBC News, Jan 15 2024)

The Heteronormativity Theory of Low Sexual Desire in Women Partnered with Men (Sari M. van Anders, Debby Herbenick, Lori A. Brotto, Emily A. Harris, and Sara B. Chadwick, Aug 23 2021)

A new global gender divide is emerging (John Burn-Murdoch, Financial Times, Jan 26 2024)

The secret of OnlyFans: It’s much more than porn (Marta Biino and Madeline Berg, Business Insider, Jan 18 2024)

—

Posted in February

Half of Spanish men feel discriminated against amid feminism backlash (James Badcock, The Telegraph, Jan 16 2024)

Parisians vote in favour of tripling parking costs for SUVs (Angelique Chrisafis, The Guardian, Feb 04 2024)

Ireland kickstarts vote on constitution’s wording about women and family (Rory Carroll, The Guardian, Jan 25 2024)

Divorce rates plummet to lowest level in 50 years ‘due to cost-of-living crisis’ (Kieran Kelly, LBC, Feb 22 2024)

—

Posted in March

‘There are some really extreme views’: young people face onslaught of misogyny online (Clea Skopeliti, The Guardian, March 01 2024)

Johnson: Why men interrupt (The Economist, Jul 10 2014)

France makes abortion a constitutional right in historic Versailles vote (Kim Willsher, The Guardian, March 04 2024)

‘My self-worth plummeted every month’: the hidden disorder that can ruin women’s lives (Chloe Aslett, The Guardian, Oct 16 2023)

The tyranny of the algorithm: why every coffee shop looks the same (Kyle Chayka, The Guardian, Jan 16 2024)

DNA Tests Are Uncovering the True Prevalence of Incest (Sarah Zhang, The Atlantic, March 18 2024)

Finland is world’s happiest country for 7th year while US drops out of top 20 (France 24, March 20 2024)

Swedish pharmacy bans sale of anti-ageing skincare to children (Miranda Bryant, The Guardian, March 20 2024)

Women are being diagnosed with ADHD at unprecedented rates. Here’s why. (Kaelyn Lynch, National Geographic, Jan 16 2024)

5 Takeaways From an Investigation Into Hysterectomies in India’s Sugar Industry (Megha Rajagopalan, The New York Times, March 24 2024)

English Just ‘Badly Pronounced French’, Paris Academic Says (Tom Barfield, Barron’s, March 09 2024)

—

Posted in April

Why are women more prone to long Covid? (David Cox, The Guardian, June 13 2021)

French Revolution: Cyclists Now Outnumber Motorists In Paris (Carlton Reid, Forbes, April 06 2024)

Long Covid may be the body trying to fight off other viruses (Sarah Knapton, The Telegraph, April 08 2024)

The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex (Peggy Orenstein, The New York Times, April 12 2024)

Sydney knifeman who targeted women ‘was desperate for a girlfriend’ (Andrea Hamblin, The Telegraph, April 15 2024)

Revealed: Israel has sped up settlement-building in East Jerusalem since Gaza war began (Jason Burke, The Guardian, April 17 2024)

‘I was only a child’: Greenlandic women tell of trauma of forced contraception (Miranda Bryant, The Guardian, March 29 2024)

Hormones and their Interaction with the Pain Experience (Katy Vincent and Irene Tracey, 2008)

—

Posted in May

Study suggests injury risk varies in menstrual cycle (Katie Gornall, BBC News, May 01 2024)

‘Urination equality’: Amsterdam women win fight for more public toilets (Ashifa Kassam, The Guardian, April 29 2024)

You can want things you don’t like and like things you don’t want (Shayla Love, Psyche, May 07 2024)

‘A new abyss’: Gaza and the hundred years’ war on Palestine (Rashid Khalidi, The Guardian, April 11 2024)

The important link between eating disorders and past trauma (Giulia Suro, Psyche, May 14 2024)

Hostile Intelligence: Reflections from a Visit to the West Bank (David Graeber, 2015)

—

Posted in June

AfD: How Germany’s far right won over young voters (Hans Pfeifer, Deutsche Welle, June 10 2024)

—

Posted in July

Coloniser le sud du Liban ? Un fantasme d'Israéliens messianiques à prendre au sérieux (Ha'Aretz via Courrier International, 3 juillet 2024)

Tampons found to contain concerning levels of arsenic and lead in world first study (Vishwam Sankaran, The Independent, July 10 2024)

South Korea politician blames women for rising male suicides (Jean Mackenzie, BBC, July 9 2024)

“Violence against women a ‘national emergency’ in England and Wales, police say (Vikram Dodd, The Guardian, July 23 2024)

—

Posted in August

Menopause was a French invention at a time of revolution (Alison M Downham Moore, Psyche, July 30 2024)

Misogyny to be treated as extremism by UK government (Helen Catt and Charlotte Rose, BBC, Aug 18 2024)

—

Posted in September

What Is Synaptic Pruning? (Jacquelyn Cafasso, Healthline, Sep 18 2018)

‘Frightening’ Taliban law bans women from speaking in public (Annie Kelly and Zahra Joya, The Guardian, Aug 26 2024)

Elon Musk suggests support for replacing democracy with government of ‘high-status males’ (Ariana Baio, The Independent, Sep 03 2024)

‘Not our tradition’: calls in Sweden to ban fathers walking brides down the aisle (Miranda Bryant, The Guardian, Aug 31 2024)

Olympic runner Cheptegei defied her violent ex. She lost her life anyway (Ammu Kannampilly, Reuters, Sep 14 2024)

[im-robins-bitch]

Paris is beautiful, but seeing Robin prance around Paris with a beret on her head and a cheesy smile on her face? Now that is a religious experience. 

Robin Buckley had a bucket list of things she wanted to do while she was in the city of love and as her dutiful girlfriend you planned on crossing off every single one while you were here.  

Taking photos of her posing bashfully next to the seine. 

Holding hands as you walk through various markets. 

Admiring the stained glass of Notre Dame and wondering if you could afford to have stained glass windows in your home or even some gargoyles.  

Feeding each other macaroons and trying to guess each flavour. 

Suggesting you put a love lock on the Pont Des Arts Bridge, but Robin spends 10 minutes explaining why it’s bad for the bridge. She also doesn’t want someone to cut off her lock and possibly jinx your relationship, but she keeps that reason to herself. 

You’ll walk around the Louvre Museum and every so often you’ll turn from a painting to ask her something and find her already looking at you adoringly. Every time she directs you to a painting she likes in particular she’ll always whisper in your ear after that it still isn’t as beautiful as you. 

After a whirlwind of sightseeing, you’ll both settle down for a picnic in one of the less busy parks, giving your feet some time to recover. Chocolate strawberries, fluffy pastries and some ice-cream helps you both recover your strength. 

Imagine Robins's face, warm from the sun, staring down at you while you rest your head in her lap, playing with her fingers while she tries to lick the melted chocolate from her lips. 

That night you’d walk around the town, seeing Paris lit up in the night. 

The day before you’d have to head home you’d go to the Eiffel Tower, kissing your girlfriend at the top like you’re in a movie. 

It was the last thing on Robin’s bucket list and the only thing that was on yours. There was one thing you wanted to do in Paris, and that was propose to your girlfriend on top of that tower. 

You’d turn around. You claim you want a proper look at the view, but really you're looking for the ring you’ve hidden in your pocket. It was a hard time smuggling that through security without Robin noticing, but it was all going to be worth it when you proposed to her in the city of her dreams. 

The speech is on the tip of your tongue as you go over the words in your head again and again. 

“Robin,” You would mumble, trying to work up the courage, but when you spin around to see her Robin is already on her knees, a velvet box held open to you with a ring between the cushions. 

“There was one more thing on my Paris bucket list”

Masterlist

[cringecorekitty]

I have Questions (TM) about you kissing Viperion.

Was it one of those akuma things like Dark Cupid or Zombizou or did you just like kiss

Who started it you or him

Why the sewer

What did Ladybug say about it

it just happened i was experimenting and viperion was kind enough to go with it

i dont really know

sewer romantic top 10 romantic places in paris sewer sewer sewer so romantic

ladybug was busy figuring out how to defeat the akuma