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Hike of a Lifetime
Author’s Note: Set in the 2022 offseason after Justin’s labrum surgery in January 2023. Rewriting my first Justin fic is a full circle moment for me so I hope you like this one!
The last two hours of your life had been spent going over orders of Gatorade protein shakes, protein pack quick bites that usually contained some sort of cheese and sausage, various brands of Greek yogurt, apples, bananas, blueberries, granola bars and anything else you could think of to stock the weight room with while you were on vacation. You had been the head nutritionist for the UCLA men's basketball team for the last year, making customized, ever changing meal plans and consulting with the health care staff to enhance your athlete's performance to the best of your ability.
After the team's loss to Gonzaga in the NCAA tournament known as March Madness, you ran to Eugene, Oregon at the first opportunity you had to go see your sister Chloe. March up until this point was one busy day after another, truly living up to the name. Most days you didn't even feel like you got to sit down for more than 10 minutes at a time due to the constant travel and meetings you had to attend. So you took a week off and as soon as you closed your laptop today, you were going to enjoy being one with nature.
Chloe had moved to Eugene two years before you got your LA job, working as a team photographer for the University of Oregon's football team, allowing the two of you to see each other during conference play more often, which had done wonders for your relationship. It's one thing to be siblings but you could genuinely call her a friend now, which was both weird to say aloud, and nice.
"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" Chloe steps into the living room, breaking you out of your vigorous typing. You look up and groan at the guilty look on her face. That was definitely an I have a work emergency and I’m going to be leaving you, look.
"No. You're not canceling on me. I got here two days ago and I have yet to really be outside. How am I supposed to enjoy some of the most beautiful scenery of my life if I'm stuck at the house the whole time? Does spring ball even matter anyway?"
Chloe laughs, heading into the kitchen to grab a snack. You'd recently lectured her about how although cereal is a grain, she can't consider it a food group and she needs to introduce more of a balanced variety in her diet. Unless she enjoys her daily 4pm sugar crash. She surprises you by pulling out a bowl of overnight oats from the fridge, with strawberries on top. After giving her your nod of approval, she gets back to the issue at hand. "Yes, spring ball matters. But I promise you it will not take me that long, I'll be back before you know it."
You huff out a breath, trying to come up with a solution. "What if you have one of your interns do it? Mine are really holding down the fort this week, I'm obviously working from home to help them out a little and I think you should do the same."
"Well our jobs are a little different. I can give them things to edit and post but I don't want to have to approve every single one of their photos and make sure they're featuring the right position groups and players based on a schedule that I created in my head. It'll just be easier if I'm there to walk them through it and then I can come home and we'll have a relaxing week until you have to be back in messy Hollywood."
"It's just Los Angeles, not Hollywood, genius. I still work at a university just like you do," you laugh at her exaggerated version of the place you now call home.
She rolls her eyes, stepping away from her food to grab her keys. "Same difference. It's all polluted air and earthquakes anyway."
Finally finished with your task, you stand up to snatch the keys out of her hand and lead the way to the garage. "Whatever, I'm in clean air now and would really like to be able to experience it. So I'll be dropping you off and getting to my hike."
You get out of the car and the sun immediately hits your skin, not in a way that’s intense but rejuvenating, bringing you back to life. The scent of early spring, mixed in with the sweet smell of freshly bloomed rhododendron sparks a further revival. The air really is different here. Life is more…undisturbed.
Families are getting out of their vehicles without a crushing sense of urgency that you’re used to, people are laughing and enjoying each other’s company and you’ve been to this park before so you feel somewhat comfortable navigating the terrain on your own, opting to quiet the sounds of the world by listening to a podcast during your leisurely stroll. Without even making it a mile on the trail, you spot a friendly black dog making his way over to you, nudging your leg with his wet nose, essentially demanding that you pet him. You usually probably wouldn’t have but the serene energy of the space you’re in brings it out of you.
“Well hello there, buddy. Who do you belong to?” You bent down to search for a name on his collar. “Dylan, that’s a cute name. Should we go find who you came here with before someone has a heart attack?” You laughed softly as the dog happily panted away and let you grab onto the leash. Before you could even take a step, you heard a booming voice calling out the dog’s name.
The distressed figure comes into view and lets out a sigh of relief. “Oh my gosh, thank you so much for grabbing him. I’m so sorry if he’s bothering you, I bent down to tie my shoe and this guy decided to make a break for it.”
“He’s taking advantage of the fact that you only have one good arm.” You point out, remembering the shoulder surgery announcement you saw in the LA Times. The man was probably getting used to having both arms again. “No worries, he’s sweet. And super friendly.” You handed him the leash and he thanked you again.
“I seriously owe you, my mom would’ve killed me if I lost our dog when I just got home.” He chuckles nervously. God his laugh was cute. “I’m sorry, I never got your name. I’m Justin.”
“I know.” You smile. “It’s nice to meet you though, I’m y/n. Hope you enjoy the rest of your hike.” You grabbed your AirPods and went to place them back in your ears to finish getting lost in your own little world once again before he stops you.
“Wait—maybe we could finish out the hike…together? You know, just so Dylan doesn’t take advantage of me again.” Maybe he was just being cautious because there was no way he was flirting with you…right?
Those green eyes were going to get you in trouble and you knew it. But you were on a beautiful scenic getaway and hiking with Justin Herbert wasn’t going to come around every single day.
“Let’s do it. Wouldn’t want you to hurt your shoulder even more chasing after Dylan. Bolt nation might collectively collapse if anything happens to you so I’m calling this a public service.”
He unsuccessfully tries to stifle a laugh. “What a Good Samaritan you are.”
Justin was funny. And sweet. And the most fun company you’ve had in a while. You talked about your job, the entire NCAA tournament and what you both thought about being in LA. Even though you both lived very different lives, it was filled with sports and schedules and meetings and practices and there were a lot of things to bond over. Before you knew it you’d been out there for three hours and Rachel texted you to let you know she was done and ready to resume your sisterly activities. He took a look at your deflated expression.
“Do you need to head out?”
“Yeah, unfortunately.” You whispered. “This was fun though.”
He readjusts the hat on his head. “Yeah this was great. Um, I meant what I said earlier though. I owe you.” He gestures towards the phone in your hands and you hand it to him watching him type in his number, texting himself immediately so he has yours.
“Maybe we could grab dinner or something before you head back to LA?” He states pensively, holding his breath a bit until you answer.
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
The two of you head back to the parking lot and you give Dylan one more pat on the head. You look up to meet Justin’s gaze, shy smiles painting both of your faces. He walked you all the way to your car and waved goodbye as you drove away to meet Rachel.
While you waited all you could do was stare at your phone, Justin had given you his number and you had his. He’d put his actual contact information in your phone AND had asked you to go to dinner. None of this felt like real life, what kind of person stumbles upon an NFL quarterback on a normal hike?
“Why are you smiling like that? It scares me.” Chloe interrupts your thoughts. You hadn’t even realized she opened the door and got in the car. “Did that hike change your life or something?” She finished with a dry laugh.
“I’m not sure, but I think it may have…”
Rachel nods her head slowly, desperately hoping to understand what’s going on. “Yeah okay whatever. Let’s get some lunch because I am absolutely starving.”
You put the car in drive, your phone notifying you of a text from its spot on the dashboard car mount. Rachel grabs it and asks, “who the hell is Justin and why is he asking if you’re free tomorrow night?”
“Just some guy I met while hiking, no big deal,” you tried and failed to be nonchalant. She knew you way better than that.
“If it’s really no big deal then tell that to the gigantic smile on your face. You’re going on that date. I’m texting him back to let him know you’ll be free.”
All that Chloe knows is his name. The rest of it you decide to keep to yourself not only to respect his privacy but you want to keep this special thing for you and only you. In case this doesn’t go anywhere, you’ll always have the memory of today and whatever happens on Friday to look back on fondly. And by telling your sister you’re putting a little bit more pressure on it, like this has to become something. You don’t really know this guy yet, only the small tidbits that he shared on the walk and that his family dog’s name is Dylan, who would run away with any stranger if enough treats were offered.
There are so many things going through your mind as you change your outfit for the fourth time tonight. What if he thinks you’re boring? Or he’s boring? What happens if the two of you run out of things to say and you’re just sitting in the restaurant in awkward silence until someone decides to call it a night? Even worse, what if this is the best date you ever go on, you fall for him and then never hear from him again because he’s an NFL quarterback and you sometimes spend three hours a day planning out breakfast options for 18-22 year old basketball players.
You glanced in the mirror, slinging a tiny black purse over your shoulder with a subtle smirk on the way out the door at your final clothing choice. Chloe mentioned that the car outside being a super nice Porsche and you made something up about thinking that he worked in finance or a job closely related to that so she wouldn't keep digging for more information. All she followed up with was "have fun and be safe."
Ambrosia's staff walked you and Justin into the restaurant by the back entrance into a private room, which was the most abnormal part of the night. The rest of the evening was spent consuming seafood stuffed mushrooms, pasta and sharing a classic tiramisu, the best one you'd ever had in your life.
The nerves that once seeped through every pore were quickly replaced with what a vacation was supposed to feel like. Conversation flowed easily, there was no pressure to be perfect or funny or overly sexy. Justin was so…normal. He was pretty, not in a way that was intimidating because you really weren’t sure he realized how attractive he actually is. But pretty in a sense that everything about him made him more attractive. His ability to actively listen to the words you say and bring them back up when it’s relevant. The way his dimples are more pronounced when he laughs. The way he stops mid conversation to say thank you to the service staff every time they refill his water. There wasn’t a bone in his body that wasn’t filled with humility and kindness. Everything he did was gentle. And on top of all of that he paid without hesitation.This date truly had been a breath of fresh air.
“Thank you for tonight, I had a lot of fun.”
His lips curl into a smile, “this was probably the best first date I’ve had.” He doesn’t know why he’s just admitted that to you, but he’s glad it’s out there now.
“Me too,” you stand up out of your chair after he does, a collection of butterflies appearing in your stomach when he places a hand on the small of your back, before encasing his hand with yours to lead you out of the restaurant.
“When are you heading back to LA?” He asks. You only know that because you’re reading his lips and not listening to a word he’s saying. You really want to kiss him.
You hesitate to lean in, bringing your focus back to his eyes, meeting his soft gaze. “I’ll be here for a couple more days, then it’s back to work. What about you?”
“Tomorrow…” he begins, slowly losing his train of thought when a little bit of the light goes out in your eyes. Should he kiss you before he leaves in the morning or wait until you’re both back in California with busy schedules and no clue if and when you’ll see each other again? “…I don’t want to leave now due to some unforeseen circumstances,” he laughs, “unfortunately I’ve got some stuff to take care of. But I’ll call you and we can maybe do this again?”
“Yeah. Definitely. I’ll see you around.” He gave you a warm hug on the way out and you watched him walk away to his car, smiling to yourself at the thought of a second date. You couldn’t wait for that phone call.
Two weeks later...he still hasn’t called. You would’ve been surprised had you not prepared yourself for this very scenario. Even with all of this so-called “preparation,” the radio silence from him still stung. Who would’ve thought this would happen? The NFL quarterback is busy with his offseason recovery while the girl he went on one singular date with continues to replay minute by minute interactions they had. No one could’ve seen this coming. The thought of that date feels like so long ago and the fact that you can remember it in vivid detail is a feels a little humiliating. You can’t even look at an Apple Watch without your stomach ending up in knots.
You've closed your office door today, taking a few hours to yourself in between meetings. Earlier in the day you and the rest of the staff had to sit through a Tyr presentation, listening to the representatives of the brand try to sell you their endurance sports drink and leaving you with some samples. Then you had CLIF come in with some new energy chew flavor samples for the guys to try. All of the boxes of products now sat in your office and you really hoped to spend the rest of the day going through the food budget, managing receipts and preparing for your first year presentations for when the new freshman arrived sometime in June. You were glancing back and forth between Whole Foods receipts and Amazon orders when your phone rang. Too busy and in the middle of crunching numbers, you ignored the call. Then it started ringing again. You stop what you're doing, assuming that if someone is calling you twice in a row, it must be urgent. The contact name flashing on the screen has you frozen in time.
It was Justin.
Even though you've been alone in your office for a while, you look around to make sure you're not making this up and this is actually happening. He's calling you. Finally.
"Hello? Who is this?" You can hear him shuffling around, probably walking around in a circle aimlessly just like you are. Despite your best efforts to seem unfazed.
"I deserve that," he cringes. "I'm so sorry for not calling you sooner."
"What—what made you call me now?"
He can tell your voice is softer than when you first answered, and he missed hearing it. "Um...life got a little ahead of me and that's not an excuse. I just—didn't want you to think that I wasn't ever going to call," he pauses, "can I make you dinner? Tonight? If you're free. And we can talk in person."
You look at the door with a sigh, contemplating your entire existence. And then you think...fuck it. "Yeah sure, I'm free tonight. Text me your address and I'll be there around 7?"
"Seven works, I'll see you tonight."
His house is perfectly spotless. There is just no way that a single adult man in his 20s is naturally this organized and clean. Even the cat, who he introduces to you as Nova, a gorgeous Bengal walks around like she owns the place, greeting you briefly (sizing you up) before trotting away without a second glance. Justin walks you into the kitchen where he's in the middle of plating the meal. He just looked good doing normal things, filling glasses of water, opening and closing the fridge, taking off his apron. You really needed to get a grip. "It smells great in here chef, what's on the menu?"
He laughs a little, presenting his dish like he's the star of a Food Network show. "Tonight I've made for you a Traeger filet mignon seasoned with the Traeger seasoning and chimichurri sauce with a side of roasted garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus."
You happily clap for his A+ presentation and he gives you a bow. "Justin, this looks amazing! I can't wait to dig in."
The man leads you to the table, setting the plate down in front of you before grabbing a seat right next to you. "So...let me explain."
Taking a bite of your food, you shake your head. "You really don't have to explain yourself, we went on one date. There's nothing to explain I mean—”
"Yeah there is. I want you to know that I wanted to call sooner, I really did. But I came back and had to meet with doctors to make sure my recovery was on track and then the draft happened and then I had to talk about the future of my contract and I didn't want the craziness of my life to overshadow what we have going on. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel like you're being put on the backburner."
Unbeknownst to you, he had also been replaying that date...more often that he'd like to admit. Anytime he had a minute to himself he thought about calling, seeing what you're doing. And then there was a meeting, or a draft party or someone needing him to be somewhere. But you were always on his mind and he was glad to now have life slow down a little bit to show you he really did care.
"I get it. Definitely thought you forgot about me there for a second. A few seconds," you correct yourself. "But I knew you were busy and we're here now so you're forgiven. Especially because this steak is incredible."
"Well thank you," he smiles sheepishly.
He begged you not to help him clean up but you insisted. After everything was put away he gave you a tour of the place and then you sat on the couch looking for a movie to watch until the stack of puzzles on the shelf caught your eye.
"You haven't unwrapped this one. Is it new?" You note the plastic wrap lining the box on the shelf meeting you at eye level. The flowers look familiar but you can't exactly remember where you've seen them before.
“There's a lot of flowers at the park we met. Any rhododendron I see now," he nods at the box in your hand, "makes me think of you. So I bought this. Figured we could do it together.” The way he's looking at you when you turn around makes you feel warm and tingly inside.
Something about being with him is addicting. You feel physically drawn to him, this pull, an invisible hold that he has on your heart that soon makes you want to run for the hills. But you know that the second you’re away from him it’ll feel like an important new part of your life has been ripped away. It almost felt like the universe had sent Justin to you as an apology for all men. Even doing something as simple as a puzzle feels like the most romantic thing in the world. All of the pieces are laid out on the table and you tackle the corners first, working from the outside in. You're sitting so close to each other that your arms are touching, reaching and grabbing at the puzzle pieces in sync like a well oiled machine. He pulls you into his lap toward the end when there's a few pieces left, giving you a high five when all 300 pieces are in their rightful place. Your hand is in his once again, like it belongs there, holding you close and steady.
He lets you go momentarily to cup your face, a look of adoration adorning his that makes your chest clench. “I’ve been thinking about kissing you for the last 22 days," Justin whispers, his face so close to yours you can feel his breath on your lips.
"Then why are you still waiting?" You whisper back, barely able to finish your sentence because he's nipping at your bottom lip, teasing you slightly as he runs his thumb across your jaw. You're a puddle in his hands, his lips on yours kissing you with his heart pounding against his chest like he's never kissed anyone before. The kiss is so simple yet the most intense experience either of you have been a part of and you want more. Both of you are fighting for dominance, a somewhat rough dance of tongues and a little bit of teeth increasing in intensity the longer the kiss lasts. You moan into his mouth, feeling him begin to stand at attention underneath you, deepening the kiss by pulling him in even closer by his hair. The other hand is wrapped around his thigh, squeezing his leg and producing goosebumps across his entire body. He had to take a few moments to recover, slightly out of breath at the kiss that he was convinced had just changed his life. "Was that worth the 22 day wait?" You ask with a laugh, holding his head in your hands.
He nods, still incapable of speech, blowing out a breath of relief when the tightness in his pants continues to go down. You lazily make out throughout the entirety of whatever movie he puts on, more than making up for lost time.
You have to be at the facility early for morning workouts so Justin walks you out to your car, pulling you in for one more kiss. "Text me when you get home so I know you made it safe?"
"I will."
Justin lays in bed that night looking at your goodnight text, already planning the third date in his head because he needs to somehow make it better than tonight was. He doesn't have any ideas yet, he just knows he can't get enough of you.
One year later...
You were back in Eugene at your favorite park, ready to get back to your favorite scenery.
"Are you excited?" You ask Dylan, who barks excitedly as you hold onto his leash. That must mean yes.
Justin laughs beside you, grabbing onto your hand. "You ready?" He gives you a kiss on the forehead before the three of you begin your hike.
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Background Details in Helluva Boss S1 E2 - Loo Loo Land
There were A LOT of background details in this episode so I won't be able to include all of them (tumblr posts have a 10-image limit) but here are some of the ones I found most interesting:
1. Octavia's Childhood Bedroom
The first thing I noticed about Via's childhood bedroom is this drawing of her and Stolas on the wall with Stella nowhere to be seen. It's possible that she has other drawings of her mother elsewhere, but in combination with Stella rarely (if ever?) interacting with Via throughout the show, this suggests she has a much closer relationship with her father.
There's also a TON of star and celestial related stuff in Via's room including decorative details like her starry bedding, wallpaper and night light but also more educational features like a telescope, star charts and books on Astronomy and Cosmology.
This suggests to me that as a child she either had a genuine keen interest in her dad's work or just took her role as his heir extremely seriously. Her seventeen-year-old bedroom lacks most of these details except for the telescope but her desire to see the stars in S2 E2 suggests she is still interested in this stuff but is just less blatant about it.
2. Fizzarolli Branding & Marketing
Maybe unsurprisingly, given Loo Loo Land is Mammon's theme-park and stars a Robo-Fizzarolli as one of its main attractions, both Fizz and Mammon are VERY present in the background of this episode.
Most of these advertisements are centred around products and performances specific to Loo Loo Land but Fizzarolli's face can also be seen on Mammon-branded breakfast cereal and adverts for those Fizzarolli robot sex dolls we've heard so much about (showing off an impressive array of features including but not limited to "tentacle action", "ten speed vibration" and "BDSM")
We also get a close up shot of the money used at Loo Loo Land, featuring Mammon's face and a stated value of 100 souls per-note, though it's not clear whether this currency is specific to Loo Loo Land/The Greed Ring or whether this is the currency that's used across all of Hell.
3. Lu Lu World References
This episode also featured a ton of references to Loo Loo Land's inspiration/competitor Lu Lu World; a theme-park created by Lucifer himself (or at least featuring his branding).
While we aren't given much info about Lu Lu World, it's suggested that Loo Loo Land is a pretty shameless and unsubtle rip-off and everything from the name (Lu being short for Lucifer) and the apple theme (relating to the forbidden fruit Lucifer gifted to Eve) supports this.
4. Hazbin Hotel References
While almost all of the rides and stalls at Loo Loo Land are apple-themed, I was surprised to see this angel-themed "Extermination" stall, featuring a giant Exorcist peeking over the top.
It's the closest Helluva Boss comes (that I've noticed so far) to referencing the yearly extermination that drives the plot of Hazbin Hotel.
This screenshot is also a good illustration of something else I noticed in this episode which is that all of the staff at Loo Loo Land and all of the guests apart from Stolas and Via are imps. Not sure if this is representative of the demographic of the Greed Ring in general or Loo Loo Land specifically but I thought it was interesting to note!
5. Blitzo's office (ft. Blitzo's horse thing)
Blitzo has a new phone (or at least a new case) this episode after breaking and/or losing his phone in the woods last episode. His new case says "wild and free" which is probably a subtle reference to horses, given it matches the horse poster on the opposite wall.
He also has a mug saying "Boss Bitch" and a framed photo of himself half-naked and posing seductively with a rose in his mouth, signed with the words "#1 Bitch Boss"
That's it for episode 2 but you can see all my other Helluva Boss background details posts here.
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You can tell people that grew up, or are still middle income, or being taken care of by middle income, parents, or grew up in a house where there’s money. But they didn’t consider themselves rich or are rich. Just saw someone post something supposedly helpful. A list of 13 things people “usually have in their kitchen“ but can’t think of what to make for a meal. Meanwhile, no, not everyone has avocados and green bread or eggs let alone, fruits and vegetables in their fridge. Do you want to talk about making a meal? How about you? Talk about the bread, the ketchup, the mustard, no eggs, pasta, and maybe a can of pasta sauce, and a leftover container of butter in the fridge. Make some pasta, put a little bit of margarine on that to loosen up the noodles, a splash of sauce, couple of cheese slices to melt within the pasta stirred up at salt and pepper a bit of garlic powder some Parsley, because those are all found at the dollar store. And you have yourself a meal. If you do have eggs, you could put those on toast and make a toasted egg sandwich. If you’re lucky enough to have peanut butter in the house call me you can make a toasted peanut butter sandwich. A lot of it depends on bread. If you have no bread, depends on pasta. Pasta is really cheap but the dollar store. There’s not much room in a freezer when you’re low income because you deal with the freezer that you have in the apartment that you’re renting. So bread has to be a weekly thing, make sure you have $10 on top of the fridge or in the cupboard put away specifically to go buy bread every week. Because a lot of times if you don’t have bread, you can’t eat. Bags from the dollar store are a good thing, makes you feel like you actually have something to drink besides water from the tap. Get a bag of sugar and use it sparingly don’t have super sweet tea. Otherwise she’ll run out fast. Milk always runs out. That’s why I always kept a can of carnation milk in the cupboard just in case. You can always water it down for cereal if you’re desperate. If it’s cold, you can’t really tell. Canned vegetables, canned fruit. They can last along time you don’t have to worry about them. Going to waste in the fridge. Ramen noodles, there’s 1 million recipes for those out now. Get all your spices at the dollar store. Eggs and tuna are always great protein but don’t spoil fast. Learn how to love drinking water from the tap. Buy a case and refill the water bottles but don’t forget to clean the lids and the rims at least once a week and if the bottles get cloudy? Throw them out and save for another case. Yes, I said save because some people don’t have a three dollars to spend on a case of water or don’t want to spend the money on non-reusable plastic. You can always pick up some water bottles from the dollar store that are reusable and fill those up in your fridge. Just don’t forget to wash them with the dishes at least once a week. Can’t exactly offer those people when your mouth has been all over them. Lol so always make sure you at least have a couple bottles put away for guests. Get to love no name brand soda. When you have money to treat yourself get namebrand. But not like a case of it or something. And a case is always cheaper in the long run than just one 2 L bottle, so you can afford it ration it out. It’s not actually that bad. Cinnamon sugar on toast, a can of tuna mixed with a Lipton sidekick creamy Parmesan with half a can of peas, mix that up well with a little salt and pepper and you’ve got tuna casserole for two people. Three people if you have a little salad on the side. or you can make garlic bread. Even if you’re using slices of bread. Toast them, then butter them, add a little bit of garlic and herb seasoning to each one with a little handful of cheese, or even just some Parmesan cheese shaken on top. Let that toast, got some real cheap and garlic bread. Pretty tasty if you’re in a pinch. And you’re not bougie like people are now. I’ve had to put ketchup in hot water with half a can of mixed vegetables to make myself some soup before. Cheap eating is a skill.
#cheap eating#eating on a budget#budget#poor budget#when you’re poor#poor person#meal planning on a dime#counting Pennie’s#dollar store budget meals#dollar store#poor people#poor
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Today's cereal is Sainsbury's new Christmas offering, Elf Munch Mix.
Initial impressions: Sainsbury's have been known in the past to make some pretty creative Christmas cereals, in particular their 2020 Mince Pie Wheats, which while not particularly good were extremely innovative. Elf Munch Mix is similarly promising, in that though it doesn't look very good, I can't help but respect it. This cereal appears like an enthusiastic child took a multi-pack of small cereal boxes and mixed it into one big, cursed, bowl. Elf Munch Mix is made up of 'strawberry flavored elf hoops, choco pops, mini cornflakes and festive stars', with elf hoops coming out on top for the best name. I'm excited to try this hodgepodge concoction, but am bracing myself for disappointment.
Post bowl thoughts: Last year I collected several different Christmas snacks into one Tupperware for a friend of mine. Most of these snacks were savory, but there was also a thick chunk of homemade peppermint bark. In their short confinement, the peppermint leeched out and tainted every other snack in that Tupperware, destroying them all from within. Peppermint bark-gate was my instant first thought when trying Elf Munch Mix, because the exact same thing has happened. The strawberry has overpowered all previous tastes, making it so that even the individual components when tried alone have the same artificial strawberry flavor. The mini cornflakes hold a slight savoriness within them still, but the inoffensive fake strawberry dominates the palette. Thankfully this is a cereal for the texture enthusiasts and the mix of different pieces in a single spoon gives a chew that truly offers everything. The contrast between the choco pops and mini cornflaks in particular is exceptional, with the latter being thicker and crunchier than a standard cornflake and offering a nice chomp that contrasts with the rest of the cereal nicely. The festive stars are the only element in this mix that are truly forgettable. Honestly, I wish they had taken the opportunity to add in one more flavor. If the stars were for example cinnamon, it would have been a full 10/10 glowing review. As it stands, I think this cereal is kind if heinous, but also fantastic. The mad scientists at the Sainsbury's own brand Christmas cereal factory innovate yet again, without ever stopping to ask first if they should.
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1-98 ask game
Im not gonna answer some of them just cause 1- I’m lazy, and 2- I couldn’t think of an answer. I’ll just put N/A (no answer) for those ones
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
Mugs definitely, I love mugs. Teacups are a close second though, those are pretty cool.
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
Chocolate bars
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
Bubble gum (this also depends on what brand of bubble gum though)
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
I was homeschooled so idk
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
Soda cans/bottles, whatever the soda originally came in basically
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
Grunge or goth
7. earbuds or headphones?
Headphones 100%
8. movies or tv shows?
tv shows, movies are too much commitment
9. favorite smell in the summer?
This is oddly specific, my mind is blank
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
Again, homeschooled. I’ve never done p.e.
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
A bowl of cereal
12. name of your favorite playlist?
“More unnamed vibes ✨🕺”
13. lanyard or key ring?
Lanyard
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
Skittles
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
The kite runner was really good. I also loved when we read Shakespeare
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
It depends which part of my body hurts that day
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
combat boots
18. ideal weather?
When it’s really sunshiney right after it rains
19. sleeping position?
On my side
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
Notes app or google docs if I’m on my laptop
21. obsession from childhood?
✨dinosaurs✨
22. role model?
N/A
23. strange habits?
I have a lot of habits but I wouldn’t say any of them are strange or out of the ordinary? I’m sure there’s something but I can’t think of it right now
24. favorite crystal?
N/A
25. first song you remember hearing?
Idk man that was too long ago for me to recall. Probably some Katy Perry or something??
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
Old lady activities- but outside (reading, crocheting, etc but it’s in the sun so it’s 10x better)
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
Old lady activities still but it’s inside because cold
28. five songs to describe you?
That requires way more thinking and self awareness than I posses. Ask pyxy maybe they know
29. best way to bond with you?
Literally just hang out or hold an interesting conversation with me
30. places that you find sacred?
N/A
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
I dunno, probably jeans and a cool shirt ?? (I wear the same things every day)
32. top five favorite vines?
I LIKE A LOT OF THEM HOW SHOULD I PICK???
33. most used phrase in your phone?
Probably me yelling ‘KYEL’
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
🕺 Avocados from Mexico 💃🏼
35. average time you fall asleep?
Like how many times per day? Once a night, I don’t nap. If we’re talking how long it takes me to fall asleep then it’s more like an hour+ of laying in bed and staring at the ceiling
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
Some of these questions are really challenging my memory
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
Suitcase
38. lemonade or tea?
Lemonade
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
Pie
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
N/A
41. last person you texted?
@pyxy-styx
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
Jacket pockets
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
Hoodie
44. favorite scent for soap?
I do not like scented soap
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
Fantasy but I also like sci fi
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
T shirt and leggings /pajama pants
47. favorite type of cheese?
All of the above
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
A peach?? Idk
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
N/A (I can’t think of any rn but I’m sure there is some)
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
Watching someone else laugh so hard that water came out of her nose
51. current stresses?
I have a concert coming up soon but I think we’ll be fine
52. favorite font?
Times new Roman (I don’t use a lot of fonts, this one is nice though)
53. what is the current state of your hands?
I’ve colored all over them
54. what did you learn from your first job?
N/A
55. favorite fairy tale?
Dude most of the original fairytales are pretty gruesome, they’re all really cool
56. favorite tradition?
My family is boring we don’t really have specific traditions
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
Oh boy do you wanna know (N/A)
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
Creative ability in general, specifically with music and crafts like crocheting or sewing. Ig I would also consider my fixation and knowledge on psychology and brain stuff a talent.
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
Gaslight Gatekeep Kivenboss
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
N/A (I haven’t watched any anime so)
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
“But before I can live with other folks I’ve got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a persons conscience” -Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
62. seven characters you relate to?
Nimona(Nimona), hiccup haddock(HTTYD), Charlie spring(Heartstopper), Peter Parker(specifically the Tom holland MCU spider man), Anne Shirley(Anne of green gables), Katie Mitchell(Mitchell’s vs. the Machines). Kinda basic characters but idc.
63. five songs that would play in your
club?
All the gay songs
64. favorite website from your childhood?
I wasn’t really on the internet as a ki
65. any permanent scars?
Yeah
66. favorite flower(s)?
Marigolds and carnations are really pretty
67. good luck charms?
N/A
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
I’m not typically picky when it comes to the flavor of things, nothing comes to mind that I just really hated the flavor of.
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
Pretty much everything I know about cannibalism
70. left or right handed?
Right
71. least favorite pattern?
Anything that has so much going on it overloads my brain
72. worst subject?
The one I’m worst in is probably any type of history but I don’t hate any subjects
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
I dislike weird flavor combos in general so I can’t think of any I like
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
I could probably get up to a pain level of like 5 or 6 and not even really notice just cause I suck at noticing what’s going on with my body. Pain meds also just don’t really work well for me, so I rarely take any
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
I think I was six, almost seven probably?
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
French fries 🫶🫶
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
I know nothing about plants. I think plants with vines hanging out of the windowsill would look cool though
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
Sushi
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
School ID. I have a horrible rbf in my license photo
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
Earth tones
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
I grew up saying fireflies but lighting bugs is so much cooler
82. pc or console?
PC
83. writing or drawing?
Writing
84. podcasts or talk radio?
Podcast
84. barbie or polly pocket?
Barbie
85. fairy tales or mythology?
I don’t know much about mythology but it’s cooler so I pick mythology
86. cookies or cupcakes?
Cookies
87. your greatest fear?
I don’t actually know
88. your greatest wish?
My father dies (/hj)
89. who would you put before everyone else?
Your mom
90. luckiest mistake?
N/A
91. boxes or bags?
Depends what I’m putting in them
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
lamps and other alternative lighting over the big lights any day
93. nicknames?
My legal name + the nickname that goes with it (I hate these), my preferred name + nickname of my preferred name, kiven, plus whatever random crap my friends come up with
94. favorite season?
Autumn
95. favorite app on your phone?
Tumblr (im a mobile user, tragic I know) or Spotify
96. desktop background?
A drawing of a rainy day
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
All in all it’s around eight
98. favorite historical era?
The renaissance was pretty cool. Industrial Revolution era is also really fascinating
This took way too fucking long to do but here it is
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Burgeess Obeserver :1ST ISSUE!!!!JAN 16 1954!
Local news
MYSTERY FROM THE SKIES!!!
Last night January 16th hail fell upon our town,However this was no ordinary hailstorm as the hail was perfectly round with a dot in the middle.The experts are confused and so is the town.Some believe that this was caused by a freak of nature there are even beliefs that it may have been caused by a supernatural phenomenon namely aliens.Though research is inconclusive, some say it might have been a publicity stunt by the Cheerio Company but no one has come forth it is also important to note that such a stunt would be very difficult to conduct.
More on pages 2-4
MISSING LINK DISCOVERED?!
Scientist have just discovered the legendary Missing Link a fish/ape hybrid it was thawed out of ice and it seems to have been perfectly preserved by the ice,however it was discovered that it was only 2 million years old which means that it's not our link but it is to something much different. As noted it looked like nothing ever seen and its existence has lead experts to question what really is this oddity of nature?
More on pages 5-6
Metro City loves Pat Boone.
as he tops the charts.Records and Hearts broken.
More on page 7
OPERATION CASTLE SUCCESS!!!
Yes the newest nuclear bomb Castle Bravo is recorded as the most powerful explosion ever conducted. It was so bright that the fireball turned the night into day.With a power of yield 15 megatons of TnT. It unbelievable power was created here last night.One that was far more powerful than anything ever created!
Pages 6-7
Lucky Dragon 5 incident!
+Scientists conduct research on the effect of fallout on a grub.
Page 8
Last night a radar picked up an unidentified flying object in the sky not far from Burgess!Could it be responsible for the Cheerio hail?
Page 9
Sports results
-NHL playoffs
Page 10
Ads
Page 11
Comics
Page 12
Playing toninght in our local Movie Theater:
War of the Worlds starring Gene Barry and Ann Robinson Sci-Fi
Our rating 10/10
Riot in Cell Block 11 Neville Brand Emilie Mayer Drama/Noir
Our rating 8/10
Peter Pan starring Bobby Driscoll Bill Thompson Margaret Kerry Animated family.
Our rating 10/10
Also:Compilation shorts:
Pluto's Heart Throb,Lion Around,Cold War,Casey Bats Again,Susie the Blue Coupe and Cold Storage
Theater Plays:
Waiting for Godot
at 7.PM
TV:
Howdy Doody 6-8 PM
I Love Lucy 8-9 PM
Our miss Brooks 9-10 PM
Weather:
Better take your umbrellas out ,it will be cloudy with a chance of cereal shaped hail coming from the skies above.
Also seeing as there are tons of cereal hale covering the roads it is a snow day today.
Editors Note:According to Peter Ramsey, on January 16, 1954, Jack Frost caused Cheerio-shaped hail to rain down on Burgess.
Based on a true story and events.
And around the same time back then Castle Bravo went off.
I am proud to present the first issue of the Burgess Observer newspaper.
Enjoy!
(Also this was originally on my dead account: https://www.tumblr.com/theburgessobserver well its here now!)
I have done it to chronicle the town(and to a degree the world) and have it on a semi-real life backdrop(ei some real life events) to detail more about it(an expansion if you may).To make it feel more real and lived in(after all it feels like a place you could just go to with working theaters/cinemas/communities).And also integrate some things into this wonderful world.
And also see how they would explain such supernatural occurrences/beings….
Please tell me your honest opinion and the pros and cons(what should i change or improve upon and how)
Also remeber that a comment will make the author much happier,and make the world a slightly better place. And Commenting,Following and favoriting me and my works will inspire me to do more!And i will always listen to your questions and suggestion
#rotg jack frost#rotg#pat boone#castle bravo#dreamworks animation#rise of the guardians#peter pan#war of the worlds#mva#mva au#howdy doody#rotg fanfiction#fanfic#news
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ROTG NEWSPAPER!!1ST ISSUE!!!!JAN 16 1954!
Local news
MYSTERY FROM THE SKIES!!!
Last night January 16th hail fell upon our town,However this was no ordinary hailstorm as the hail was perfectly round with a dot in the middle.The experts are confused and so is the town.Some believe that this was caused by a freak of nature there are even beliefs that it may have been caused by a supernatural phenomenon namely aliens.Though research is inconclusive, some say it might have been a publicity stunt by the Cheerio Company but no one has come forth it is also important to note that such a stunt would be very difficult to conduct.
More on pages 2-4
MISSING LINK DISCOVERED?!
Scientist have just discovered the legendary Missing Link a fish/ape hybrid it was thawed out of ice and it seems to have been perfectly preserved by the ice,however it was discovered that it was only 2 million years old which means that it's not our link but it is to something much different. As noted it looked like nothing ever seen and its existence has lead experts to question what really is this oddity of nature?
More on pages 5-6
Metro City loves Pat Boone.
as he tops the charts.Records and Hearts broken.
More on page 7
OPERATION CASTLE SUCCESS!!!
Yes the newest nuclear bomb Castle Bravo is recorded as the most powerful explosion ever conducted. It was so bright that the fireball turned the night into day.With a power of yield 15 megatons of TnT. It unbelievable power was created here last night.One that was far more powerful than anything ever created!
Pages 6-7
Lucky Dragon 5 incident!
+Scientists conduct research on the effect of fallout on a grub.
Page 8
Last night a radar picked up an unidentified flying object in the sky not far from Burgess!Could it be responsible for the Cheerio hail?
Page 9
Sports results
-NHL playoffs
Page 10
Ads
Page 11
Comics
Page 12
Playing toninght in our local Movie Theater:
War of the Worlds starring Gene Barry and Ann Robinson Sci-Fi
Our rating 10/10
Riot in Cell Block 11 Neville Brand Emilie Mayer Drama/Noir
Our rating 8/10
Peter Pan starring Bobby Driscoll Bill Thompson Margaret Kerry Animated family.
Our rating 10/10
Also:Compilation shorts:
Pluto's Heart Throb,Lion Around,Cold War,Casey Bats Again,Susie the Blue Coupe and Cold Storage
Theater Plays:
Waiting for Godot
at 7.PM
TV:
Howdy Doody 6-8 PM
I Love Lucy 8-9 PM
Our miss Brooks 9-10 PM
Weather:
Better take your umbrellas out ,it will be cloudy with a chance of cereal shaped hail coming from the skies above.
Also seeing as there are tons of cereal hale covering the roads it is a snow day today.
Editors Note:According to Peter Ramsey, on January 16, 1954, Jack Frost caused Cheerio-shaped hail to rain down on Burgess.
Based on a true story and events.
And around the same time back then Castle Bravo went off.
I am proud to present the first issue of the Burgess Observer newspaper.
Enjoy!
I have done it to chronicle the town(and to a degree the world) and have it on a semi-real life backdrop(ei some real life events) to detail more about it(an expansion if you may).To make it feel more real and lived in(after all it feels like a place you could just go to with working theaters/cinemas/communities).And also integrate some things into this wonderful world.
And also see how they would explain such supernatural occurrences/beings….
Please tell me your honest opinion and the pros and cons(what should i change or improve upon and how)
Also remeber that a comment will make the author much happier,and make the world a slightly better place. And Commenting,Following and favoriting me and my works will inspire me to do more!And i will always listen to your questions and suggestion
MARCH 27TH!!!ALERT!!!THE GUARDIANS COME TOGETHER TO FIGHT THERE BIGGEST THREAT!!!(MORE DANGEROUS AND POWERFULL THAN PITCH!!!!)
AND THEY WONT BE ALONE!!!!
ON MARCH 27TH!!!!(PROLOGUE 26TH)
EARTHS GREATEST SECRETS WILL BE REVEALED!
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The chart-topping rappers are not just rappers but entrepreneurs looking to build generational wealth. But with entrepreneurship comes tall challenges, one of which the duo faces. On Tuesday (Jan. 6), both entertainers filed a lawsuit against Walmart and food manufacturer Post Consumer Brands for gatekeeping their joint cereal brand from customers, as reported by the Washington Post.
The artists claimed Walmart and PCB intentionally acted in a “diabolical” and “underhanded” manner by “hiding” boxes of “Snoop Cereal” in stockrooms and coding the product “to not be put out on store shelves." The suit also claims that Walmart “hiked the price” of the cereal to more than $10 a box, as opposed to Snoop Dogg and Master P's objective to provide affordable options for consumers. The suit also claims customers could not find the product in "many" Walmart stores, contrary to Post-branded cereals.
According to the suit, these actions resulted in a lack of sales for the duo.
To drive their case forward, Snoop Dogg and Master P have acquired civil rights attorney, Ben Crump.
“This case shines a light on the steep challenges faced by minority-owned businesses in securing fair opportunities in the marketplace,” said the attorney. “The actions by Post Foods and Walmart demonstrate cynical disregard and exploitation of minority entrepreneurs in the business world.”
On Wednesday (Jan. 7), Crump took to social media with his support of the rappers' case.
"I’m proud to work with two rap icons, @MasterPMiller and @SnoopDogg, to make sure Walmart and Post Foods are held accountable for ignoring Black businesses,!" Crump tweeted. "We MUST demand that Black business is treated with respect — we’re fighting for our right to build generational wealth!"
In 2022, the rappers originated their joint food label, Broadus Foods, and then took their product, Snoop Cereal to PCB for promotion. But according to the lawsuit, the duo was met with an alternative. PCB offered to buy Snoop Cereal, but Snoop Dogg and Master P turned the offer down because they “hoped to preserve Broadus Foods as a legacy to their families."
The lawsuit claims their decision not to sell Snoop Cereal led to a trail of “bad faith dealings.”
In 2022, PCB entered into a partnership promotion agreement with Broadus Foods for the manufacturing, marketing, distribution, and sale of Snoop Cereal. The lawsuit cites that PCB failed to meet their end of the agreement while “pretending to be on board” along with treating Snoop Cereal like “one of its own brands.”
The suit cites that PCB “worked with Walmart to ensure that none of the boxes of Snoop Cereal would ever appear on the store shelves."
“If Post and Walmart are able to do this to popular businessmen such as Snoop Dogg and Master P, then they will definitely do it to the mom-and-pop and minority owned companies who do not have the ability to defend themselves,” the lawsuit said.
Still, Walmart maintains its ethical commitment that has amassed a “strong history of supporting entrepreneurs” and that “many factors affect the sales of any given product, including consumer demand, seasonality, and price to name a few," said the company's spokesperson Kelly Hellbusch.
#Snoop Dogg And Master P Sue Walmart For Allegedly Gatekeeping Their Cereal From Customers#walmart#snoop dogg#master p#snoop cereal#pcb
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10 Ways To Reduce Your Weekly Shopping Bill and Save Money
New Post has been published on https://eazydiet.net/10-ways-to-reduce-your-weekly-shopping-bill-and-save-money/
10 Ways To Reduce Your Weekly Shopping Bill and Save Money
We are all feeling the pinch and managing your food shop budget effectively is an essential skill that can help you save money and improve your overall financial well-being. With a little planning and some smart shopping strategies, you can cut down on your grocery bill without sacrificing the quality of your meals.
We all have to eat, and for most of us, a significant portion of our monthly budget goes towards groceries. However, there are plenty of ways to trim your food shopping expenses without compromising on the quality of the meals you prepare. In this blog post, we’ll explore ten top tips for saving money on your food shopping without sacrificing taste or nutrition.
1. Plan Your Meals
One of the most effective ways to save money on groceries is by planning your meals ahead of time. Create a weekly meal plan, considering what you already have in your pantry and what’s on sale at your local grocery store. This not only helps you avoid impulse purchases but also reduces food waste.
Grab yourself a family meal planner to keep track of what you are cooking each day and even better this will help you to write a list.
2. Make a Shopping List
Once you’ve planned your meals, make a shopping list and stick to it. Avoid wandering aimlessly through the supermarket, as this can lead to buying items you don’t need. The worst places for this are Aldi and Lidls with their evil tempting middle aisles!!
However having a list keeps you focused and helps you avoid overspending.
3. Use Coupons and Discounts
Take advantage of coupons, loyalty programs, and discounts offered by your grocery store. Many stores have digital coupons you can load onto your loyalty card, making it easy to save money on items you regularly buy.
4. Buy Generic Brands
Generic or shop-brand products are often just as good as name-brand items but come with a lower price tag. Give them a try, and you might be surprised at the quality and savings.
In particular children’s cereals are a great one to try… my little ones will happily eat Tesco choco snaps which are half the price of Coco Pops.
5. Buy in Bulk
For non-perishable items and products you use frequently, buying in bulk can be a smart move. Just be sure to check the unit price to ensure you’re getting a good deal. Also, consider splitting bulk purchases with friends or family to save even more.
6. Avoid Convenience Foods
Pre-packaged and convenience foods are convenient but can be expensive. Cooking from scratch not only saves you money but also allows you to control the ingredients, making your meals healthier.
7. Shop Seasonal and Local
Seasonal produce tends to be fresher and less expensive. Additionally, buying local products can support your community and reduce the environmental impact of transporting food long distances.
8. Reduce Meat Consumption
Meat is often one of the most expensive items in your shopping cart. Consider incorporating more plant-based meals into your diet, which can be both cost-effective and beneficial for your health.
Or if you don’t want to cut out the meat, try reducing it. Next time you cook a bolognese, try halving the mince and bulk out with veggies or lentils instead.
9. Freeze Leftovers
Don’t let leftovers go to waste. Instead, freeze them for future meals. This not only reduces food waste but also saves you from ordering takeout on busy nights. Nothing goes to waste In this house….
10. Keep an Eye on Expiry Dates
When shopping for perishable items, pay attention to expiration dates. Buying items with a longer shelf life can reduce the chances of food going to waste.
Conclusion
Saving money on food shopping doesn’t have to be a daunting task. By implementing these ten tips, you can significantly reduce your grocery expenses while still enjoying delicious and nutritious meals. Planning, budgeting, and making smart choices at the shop are key to stretching your food budget further. Start applying these strategies today, and you’ll see the impact on your savings in no time!
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[Poor Chronicles Pt. 2]
[DETOUR: Why did some man steal about $10 in quarters from me at the laundromat today? Did I blatantly ignore him asking for $1 in quarters minutes prior to noticing my container of quarters were gone? Yes I did. Did I search the premises and stopped at him last to ensure him that I knew it was him? Also yes. Did he pay someone to change his laundry and run off after this? Yes as well. Why did I not confront him verbally? I do not believe in verbal exchanges. My only solution would be getting banned (possibly arrested, depends) from the laundromat for knocking a grown man out cold. This is the only laundromat in my neighborhood…I THINK THE FUCK NOT! Why not? He is stupid and will remain broke and angry forever, why the fuck do I care to retaliate in anger? Also, I would have been victorious in battle, so I am not left wondering “What could’ve happened?”.]
Anyways, another week. Another $0.00 account balance. This week I have but a dollar to my name. I have started my next monthly expenses count. This one’s is complete. This time we have 2 and 2/3s boxes of cereal left with 1 and 1/3 gallons of milk. It was originally about 12. Why? This month’s diet experiment was: Majority cereal and snacks. Ranging from chips, AirHeads, Reese’s, Kit Kats, Milky Ways, Pop Tarts (On and Off brand), etc… The snacks only lasted the 1st 12 days, so I decided on just chips and cereal. I almost decided to add a cheat meal to start next month, but decided to strictly and fully revert back to last month’s diet. Strictly chicken salads from work and ramen noodles (with hot sauce).
Although I would like to just strategically space out the remaining cereal…I may just fast the last few days before starting the next diet, if finished before the month is over. Strict on not starting the next month’s diet before 12am on the 1st. Do not recommend next month’s diet. Requires a lot of cooking to prepare noodles and remain full. Also lots of fatigue due to lack of food pyramid intake. Not for weak stomachs either. Ramen noodles will make you sick from overconsumption and hot sauce will rip through your insides like a hurricane. Even worse if you own pets. If you do not possess a lot of natural muscle or do possess lots of body fat…do not attempt, I repeat. This is not a weight loss method. I may keep this diet up for who knows how long. Will miss my chips (and cereal).
Also found, the channel I watch (CW) is partnered with the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) and will broadcast various Division IA football games, from the likes of Clemson, Louisville, Florida State, Syracuse, Duke and many more. No longer sad. Only on Saturdays though. Unexpected for a channel mostly known for dramas, sitcoms and church specials. Do not like how they depict me (God). Almost ignore it entirely. Found out I have time to attend one of those local games as well.
Lastly, why are there so many fat “christians”/religious people? I thought greed was a sin. Make it make sense. I will resume cooking, variety in meal consumption and many other things when I have made it out of THIS neighborhood. Even in wealth, I will be Maruchan’s top consumer. Until then, I will embrace the struggle that is being African American, a Southsider and a Chicagoan. That is to live powerfully and without sin. I, above all else, shall not envy, experience sloth or indulge in greed. Everything else as well, but wrath…is just not one. Feel this one.
Live life freely and enjoy all life has to offer. Every “tough” experience will make sense in due time. Money will always be available to make because it is just a number in someone else’s mind and you only get ONE chance to experience your one true life before you spend eternity suffering trying to keep up in someone else’s. Rage all you want. “Make them pay for this” all you want. At the end of the day, they will be successful at living THEIR life and you’ll watch from the back seat in sin…
- MH (2023)
#personal#reflection#poor#poor chronicles#poverty#life#lesson#life lesson#life lessons#guidance#struggle#cardinal sins#envy#greed#sloth#chicago#2023#LilMark#PUNKAssMark#afr0-thunder
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Design Scavenger Hunt Module 4
Image 1
Image 1 is a boxed set of Middle School books by James Patterson. The cover of each book in the set features a consistent layout and design element, such as the title font, color scheme, and placement of graphic elements. These design elements create a visual rhythm that is repeated across all of the books in the set, unifying them as a cohesive collection.
Image 2
Image 2 is a box of Stevia Leaf sweetener. The designers use different sizes and weights of typography to establish a clear order of importance and guide the viewer's eye across the package. The brand name, "TRUVIA," is set in large, bold letters at the top of the package. immediately drawing the viewer's attention. Below that, in small type is the product name, "stevia Leaf sweetener." The tagline, "Nature's calorie-free sweetener," is set in even smaller type below the product name.
Image 3
The packaging of Yasso Greek Yogurt bars in the flavor Mint chocolate chip features the word "Yasso" in a bold, sans-serif looking font. The letter "y: in "Yasso" has an ascender than extends beyond the x-height of the other letters in the work. This ascender draws the viewer's eye upward and creates a sense of height and elegance in the lettering. It also adds a subtle visual interest to the wordmark, making it more memorable and distinctive.
Image 4
Image 4 is a package of 2 jars of Miracle Whip Mayonnaise. The packaging prominently features the brand name in a bold, sans-serif with a descender on the letter "g". The descender helps to balance the overall design of the logo and adds visual interest by drawing the eye downward.
Image 5
Image 5 is a jar of Peanut m&m's.The & in m&m is the counter. A counter is the area of a letter that is entirely or partially enclosed by a latter for or a symbol. In this case the design uses & instead of and to make the logo more visually appealing and short.
Image 6
Image 6 is a box of Honey nut Cheerios. The letter H in the phrase "Honey Nut Cheerios" on the cereal box is an example of a letter with a crossbar. The crossbar is the horizontal line that connects the two vertical strokes of the letter "H".
Image 7
Image 7 is a box of Beets. The font looks to have a relatively large x-height, meaning that the height of the lowercase letter is proportionally larger than the hight of the uppercase letters. This is evident in the lowercase "e" and "a" which are relatively tall compared to the uppercase letter on the packaging.
Image 8
Image 8 is a bag of Chili Lime flavored Chips The font looks to have a relatively small x-height compared to its ascenders. The ascenders on this packaging are notably taller than the lowercase letter making them standout more. This creates a sense of verticality in typography, and the small x-height also allows for more space between lines of text, which can improve legibility and readability.
Image 9
Image 9 is a box of coconut chocolate. Modernist design typically prioritizes functionality and simplicity, with sans-serif fonts like Helvetica being a common choice due to their clean legible appearance. The use of bold typography and minimal graphics on the packaging design interprets a modernist approach to design.
Image 10
Image 10 is a bag of Skinny Pop Popcorn. The font used for the brand name "skinny pop" is a handwritten script font, which gives the impression of being friendly and approachable. Also the "o" in "Pop" replaces the o with popcorn. The font choice on the packaging helps to communicate the brand's value and personality to potential customers.
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TOP 10 COMPANIES IN HEALTHY SNACKS MARKET
The Healthy Snacks Market is expected to reach $152.08 billion by 2029, at a CAGR of 6.5% from 2022 to 2029. The growth of this market is driven by the growing health consciousness among consumers, the rising demand for functional/healthy foods, and the increasing popularity of convenience foods & on-the-go snacks.
Here are the top 10 companies operating in the Healthy Snacks Market
General Mills, Inc. (U.S.)
General Mills is engaged in the manufacturing and marketing of branded consumer foods. The company operates through four business segments: North America Retail, International, Pet, and North America Foodservice. It offers healthy snacks through various brands, including Annie’s, Betty Crocker, Bugles, Chex, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cascadian Farm, Cocoa Puffs, Cheerios, Colombo, EPIC, Fiber One, Food Should Taste Good, Gardettos, General Mills, Golden Grahams, Gushers, Gold Medal, Lucky Charms, Lärabar, Mott’s, Mountain High, Muir Glen, Pillsbury, Kix, Nature Valley, Total, Trix, Oui, and Yoplait.
General Mills manufactures products in 13 countries, markets them in over 100 countries, and has a global presence throughout North America, Europe, Asia-Pacific, Latin America, and the Middle East & Africa.
Mondelēz International, Inc. (U.S.) Mondelēz International is a food & beverage company. The company manufactures and markets packaged food products, including snacks, beverages, cheese, convenient meals, and various packaged grocery products. The five reporting segments of the company are Biscuits, Chocolate, Gum & Candy, Cheese & Grocery, and Beverages.
Mondelēz offers healthy snacks through 5 Star, 7Days, Alpen Gold, Barni, belVita, Bournvita, Cadbury, Cadbury Dairy Milk, Chips Ahoy!, Club Social, Côte d’Or, Daim, Enjoy Life Foods, Freia, Honey Maid, Hu, Kinh Do, Lacta, LU, Marabou, Milka, Oreo, Perfect Snacks, Philadelphia, Prince, Ritz, Tang, Tate’s Bake Shop, Tiger, Toblerone, Triscuit, TUC, and Wheat Thins brands.
Its products are manufactured in over 80 countries and marketed in over 150 countries. The company has a geographic presence in North America, Europe, Asia, Latin America, and the Middle East & Africa.
Nestlé S.A. (Switzerland)
Nestlé manufactures and markets a wide range of food products. Its product line includes milk, chocolate, confectionery, bottled water, coffee, creamer, seasoning, frozen food, and pet foods. The company operates through seven business segments, namely, Powdered and Liquid Beverages, PetCare, Nutrition and Health Science, Prepared Dishes and Cooking Aids, Milk Products and Ice Cream, Confectionery, and Water.
Nestlé offers healthy snacks through its Powdered and Liquid Beverages, Milk Products and Ice Cream, Confectionery, and Water segments. Its products are marketed under Aero, Baci Perugina, Cailler, Cerelac, Cheerios, DiGiorno, Dreyer’s, Extrême, Fitness, Garoto, Häagen-Dazs, Hsu Fu Chi, KitKat, La Laitière, Lion cereals, Milkybar, Milo, Mövenpick, Nesquik, Nesquik Breakfast Cereal, Nestlé Cui Shark, Nestlé Ice Cream, Nestlé Les Recettes de l’Atelier, Orion, Perrier, Quality Street, S.Pellegrino, Sjora, and Toll House brands.
With its subsidiaries and a strong distribution network in over 186 countries, Nestlé has a geographic presence across North America, Europe, Asia-Pacific, Latin America, and the Middle East & Africa.
Kellogg Company (U.S.)
Kellogg Company is engaged in the manufacturing and marketing of ready-to-eat cereal and convenience foods. The company operates through four business segments: Snacks, Cereal, Frozen, and Noodles & Other. Its principal products are snacks, such as crackers, savory snacks, toaster pastries, cereal bars, granola bars and bites, and convenience foods, such as ready-to-eat cereals, frozen waffles, veggie foods, and noodles.
Kellogg offers healthy snacks through its Snacks, Cereal, and Frozen segments. With a geographic presence across North America, Latin America, Europe, Asia-Pacific, and the Middle East & Africa, the company’s products are manufactured in 18 countries and marketed in more than 180 countries.
Tyson Foods, Inc. (U.S.)
Tyson Foods is engaged in the production of processed food. The company operates through the following segments: Beef, Chicken, Prepared Foods, Pork, and International/Other. The Beef segment includes operations related to processing live-fed cattle and fabricating dressed beef carcasses into primal and sub-primal meat cuts and case-ready products. The Chicken segment refers to domestic operations related to raising and processing live chickens into fresh, frozen, and value-added chicken products and sales from allied products. The Pork segment consists of operations related to processing live market hogs and fabricating pork carcasses into primal and sub-primal cuts and case-ready products. The Prepared Foods segment manufactures and markets frozen and refrigerated food products and logistic operations to move products through the supply chain. The company has a strong geographic presence across North America, Europe, and Asia.
Meticulous Research in its latest publication on Healthy Snacks Market has predicted the growth of 6.5% during the forecast year 2022–2029
PepsiCo, Inc. (U.S.)
PepsiCo is engaged in the manufacturing, marketing and selling of snacks, carbonated & noncarbonated beverages, and food items worldwide. The company operates through seven business segments: PepsiCo Beverages North America; Frito-Lay North America; Europe; Latin America; Africa, Middle East and South Asia; Asia-Pacific, Australia and New Zealand and China Region; and Quaker Foods North America.
The PepsiCo Beverages North America segment comprises beverage concentrates, fountain syrups, and finished goods under various beverage brands such as Pepsi, Gatorade, Mountain Dew, Diet Pepsi, Aquafina, Diet Mountain Dew, Sierra Mist, and Mug. The Frito-Lay North America segment markets, distributes, and sells snack foods under the Lay’s, Doritos, Cheetos, Tostitos, Fritos, Ruffles, and Santitas brands. The Quaker Foods North America segment includes cereals, rice, and pasta under the Quaker, Pearl Milling Company, Quaker Chewy, Cap’n Crunch, Life, and Rice-A-Roni brands. The Europe segment comprises beverage, food, and snack goods in Europe. The Africa, Middle East and South Asia segment offers snack food products under the Lay’s, Kurkure, Chipsy, Doritos, Cheetos, and Crunchy brands. The Asia-Pacific, Australia and New Zealand and China Region segment includes beverage and convenient food businesses. The Latin America segment covers beverage, food, and snack businesses in the Latin American region
With its subsidiaries and a strong distribution network in over 200 countries, PepsiCo has a geographic presence across North America, Europe, Asia-Pacific, Latin America, and the Middle East & Africa.
KIND LLC (U.S.)
KIND manufactures and sells healthy snack foods. The company’s products are made from whole nuts, fruits, spices, and honey and contain essential nutrients such as fiber, protein, and antioxidants. Furthermore, its products include fruit & nut bars, a variety of grain and superfood trail mixes and clusters, as well as gift packs and various merchandise.
KIND has a geographic presence across North America, Europe, Asia-Pacific, Latin America, and the Middle East & Africa.
The Hain Celestial Group, Inc. (U.S.)
The Hain Celestial Group is engaged in manufacturing, marketing, distributing, and selling foodstuffs, personal care products, and meat alternative products. The company operates through four business segments: Grocery, Snacks, Personal Care, and Tea, and offers healthy snacks through its Snacks segment. Its products are marketed under Garden of Eatin’, Parm Crisps, Sensible Portions, TERRA, Thinsters, Lima, Joya, Natumi, and The Greek Gods brands.
Hain Celestial sells its products through specialty and natural food distributors, supermarkets, natural food stores, mass-market and e-commerce retailers, and food service channels and clubs. The company has a strong geographic presence across North America, Europe, Asia-Pacific, Latin America, and the Middle East & Africa.
Hormel Foods Corporation (U.S.)
Hormel Foods is engaged in the manufacturing and marketing of meat and food products. The company operates through four business segments, namely, Refrigerated Foods, Grocery Products, Jennie-O Turkey Store, and International & Other, and offers fresh meats, frozen items, refrigerated meal solutions, sausages, hams, guacamole, and bacon. It also provides canned luncheon meats, shelf-stable microwaveable meals, stews, chilies, hash, flour and corn tortillas, salsas, peanut butter, nutritional food products and supplements, desserts and drinks mixes, and industrial gelatine products. The healthy snack products are offered through its various brands, including Applegate, CHI-CHI’S, Columbus Craft Meats, Corn Nuts, Fontanini, Hormel Gatherings, Hormel Health Labs, Jennie-O, Justin’s, Planters, Thick & Easy, and Vital Cuisine.
Hormel Foods has a geographic presence across North America, Europe, Asia-Pacific, Latin America, and the Middle East & Africa.
Unilever PLC (U.K.)
Unilever is engaged in the manufacturing and selling of consumer goods, including foods, beverages, cleaning agents, and personal care products. The company operates through three business segments: Beauty & Personal Care, Foods & Refreshment, and Home Care. The Foods & Refreshment segment sells ice cream, savory, dressings, and tea and also offers healthy snacks. The company’s products are marketed under Ben & Jerry’s, Magnum, and Wall’s brands.
With its subsidiaries and a strong distribution network in over 190 countries, Unilever has a strong geographic presence across North America, Europe, Asia, Latin America, and the Middle East & Africa.
Popular mentions: B&G Foods, Inc. (U.S.) Del Monte Foods Inc. (U.S.), Danone S.A. (France), and Select Harvests Limited (Australia).
Amidst this crisis, Meticulous Research® is continuously assessing the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on various sub-markets and enables global organizations to strategize for the post-COVID-19 world and sustain their growth. Let us know if you would like to assess the impact of COVID-19 on any industry here- https://www.meticulousresearch.com/download-sample-report/cp_id=5392
Authoritative Research on the Healthy Snacks Market – Global Opportunity Analysis and Industry Forecast (2022-2029)
Need more information? Meticulous Research®’s new Healthy Snacks Market report covers each of these companies in much more detail, providing analysis on the following:
Recent financial performance of Healthy Snacks Market
Key products
Significant company strategies
Partnerships and acquisitions
Impact of COVID-19 on the Healthy Snacks Market
The Comprehensive report provides global market size estimates, market share analysis, revenue numbers, and coverage of key issues and trends.
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#Healthy Snacks Market#Healthy Snacks#occasional snacks#snack#Healthy Snacks Market trends#food#food and beverage#food industry#food and drink#Healthy Snacks Market growth#Healthy Snacks Market opportunities
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oh m y
fvckiNG
g A h T
? ! ? !
Chestnut!?!?!?
yessssirrrr
mutha-fkin Almond Crunch
#gotta be one of my favorite cerebrans#top 10 name brand cereals#my thougts#avataro sentai donbrothers#donbrothers#donbrothers liveblog#21 peach falls#who let delivery boy bring a parade float to a gun fight#sentaisouped#obligatory chestnut 🌰 tag#haruka kitou
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ranking the Big 3 Podcast™ ship names
cecilos: it looks nice visually but it sounds funny. like cecil-o’s. reminds me of that one post that pointed out ”cecilos” sounds like a cereal brand. not quite creative enough for night vale. 5/10
jonmartin/jmart/jm: what the heck kind of lazy ship name is this?? like not only did y’all just smoosh two full names together, but you then shortened it?? and then shortened it again?? honestly the lack of effort is commendable. 2/10
jupeter, rad bouquet: now THIS is what good ship names look like. not only is jupeter easy to say and visually pleasing, but also SPACE! and don’t even get me started on rad bouquet—using the initials, pulling on the flower imagery,,,top tier stuff. 1000/10
#the creativity of the penumbra fanbase astounds me#welcome to night vale#wtnv#the magnus archives#tma#the penumbra podcast#tpp
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Porky Ale
Credit for this idea goes too a conversation I had with Djones551. Enjoy :)
Dwayne smiled into the mirror, relishing the deep burn. He loved the pain, it becoming addictive after years of dedicated bodybuilding. His reflection gave another flex as Dwayne admired the bulging, muscled body he had worked so hard for.
The distinct smell of gym sweat was emanating from the man next to him, a smell Dwayne tried to ignore. Paul Wright, or “Big Show” as was his stage name, was snapping a photo of his huge muscle gut. Raw masculinity oozed from the larger man, simultaneous hard muscle and fat extenuating the his already massive frame.
“Johnson” a deep voice rumbled from Paul as he moved to face him
“I’m done for the day. Gonna have some drinks at this new place across town with ‘Cena. You comin’?”
Dwayne reached over and checked his phone. Crap! It was already 10:30! He could have sworn it had been 7 just a half hour ago. He sighed at his absentmindedness, before turning to his colleague.
“Sure” he gave a quick nod. It was Friday night and he had nowhere to be, what would it hurt to have a few drinks?
It was 11 by the time Dwayne arrived at the bar. A neon blue sign flashing “Porkys’'' into the cool night air made it unmistakable. He was the last to arrive, walking in to see that Paul and John Cena were already at the bar, drinks being handed over by a young man in a cowboy hat. It was strangely empty, the walls covered with wild west Americana, horses and hats and the such.
Dwayne strode up to order, only to see a drink had already been ordered for him. There were three glasses, two already claimed by his colleagues. Each contained a dark, thick looking liquid the bartendender told him was their specialty ale. “I'm a big fan of you guys, these are on the house” the bartender gushed, grinning. Dwayne looked over to see his colleagues already beginning on theirs. Somehow, after only a sip, the large men were somehow already rosy cheeked.
He gave the glass a sniff of the liquid. It smelt like it looked, a thick dark ale. With a shrug, Dwayne took a cautious sip. It tasted amazing, sweet and thick in his mouth with a pleasant burn as it traveled down his throat into his stomach. He smiled and looked over to his companions, John chuckling at some joke Paul had made. Soon he too was openly laughing with them, joking between glugs of molasses-like ale.
Unnoticeably at first, the room around the three was changing. The bartender faded into shadow, as did the tacky decorations adorning the walls. In the corner of the room, a large worn-looking fridge apeared, fully stocked with ‘Porky’ brand ale. Walls shifted inward, coming closer and closer together until the one moderately spacious bar was the size of a small living room, the wallpaper growing old and faded.
Gone were the bar's tables and chairs, in their place was a single dining table, grubby with the remains of old food and an empty box of cereal. The stools that the three men sat upon grew outwards, merging into one long bench, which then ballooned out into a worn red sofa, covered in stains of chocolate and ice-cream and curry and something that are hopefully just spilt yogurt. The only thing remaining from the bar was the tv, transported from the top of the room to be situated in directly front of the couch. It was blaring with some rerun of some football match, the commentators voice subconsciously hypnotizing the three as not to notice the next parts of their transformation as they sat.
John Cena was the first to show signs, mid sentence, an unexpected phosphorus burp erupted from him. All maturity washed away by the alcohol, the other two laughed uncontrollably, none noticing as his shirt was becoming tight over his expanding belly
The bubbles from the ale were transforming from carbon to fat within the wrestlers bodies, slowly expanding each of their waistlines with each belch or pass of gas. The drunken men were unable to so much as even think as layers upon layers of blubber pushed out of their guts. Hard, defined muscle and bulging veins were smothered with soft, pale, fleshy skin. Signs of aging were smoothed away, tans fading into the pasty skin indicative of someone that had not left their house in weeks.
seemed not to notice the exponential expansion of his body, even as the mounting pressure ripped away the tight off of his new body, leaving him in nothing but his underwear.
The larger man began to doze off, understandably, as he had drunk the most of the group. His strong, fit wrestler persona drifted off with him, becoming nothing but a dream as his fat body relaxed into the couch. He was now Greg, a fat slob living with his two gainer pig husbands in a small flat. They all lived sedentarily, spending their time either on the couch, in bed, or finding the fattiest, messiest foods and feeding it to one another. It was not as glamorous a life as a pro WWE wrestler that Greg dreamed of, but he was more than content in his life.
Paul reached under the couch, picking up a game controller as if he had done hundreds of times before. Greg, his husband, was a deep sleeper and he had not one woken him up, a voice in his brain told him. He started up the game, only to see that he had come across a glitch. The text on the game began to include occasional words in some language he was unable to comprehend. Ignoring them, Paul soon found that the frequency of these words increased with every speech bubble that appeared. However, as more and more words appeared in this language, he began to understand them. Ink flowed across his skin, tendrils of blue spreading across from his wide pot belly. They formed artistic designs that covered his body. As this happened, the color of his beard lightened slightly, becoming a dark sandy blonde, while his grey eyes lightened into a clear blue. All the game was in the language now, in русский, and he could understand all of it. Memories flooded into his mind. He was not Paul, but Pavel. Born and raised in St Petersburg, before moving to the states to live with his two thick younger husbands. He was their big Russian daddy boar, and he would protect his two little piglets at any cost serving their every need.
Pavel looked over and saw Greg snoring peacefully, absently scratching his belly as he dreamed mumbling about pizza. The older man smiled to himself and paused the game, picked up his phone and ordered some.
Dwayne was definitely the most affected by the ale. Gone was the body he had worked so long for, and gone was his life experience and maturity. He was now much younger, a piglet that did not have any need for a life outside of the flat, and did not want for anything else but the pleasure of his two fat husbands. His hair had gone haywire, long, greasy unkempt locks covering his head where his bald scalp used to be. Scatterings of un-even, dark hairs we now sprinkled across his bloated body, making him feel hot and sweaty constantly. He took off his shirt, releasing a musk that had built up after days of avoiding to shower. He was so hot, and not only from the heat. the intensity of his daddy as he concentrated at his game had made. He reached down and began to massage his moist, full balls. The action released a deep, masculine stink into the room, one that caught the attention of Pavel.
The older man thundered over to him, game discarded at the sight of his piggy pleasuring himself. He fell down onto Dwayne, belly pressing against belly. Soon, they were making out. Dwayne could taste the alcohol on Pavel's breath, feel the un-bear-ible of his thick body pressed tightly against his. Soon, Dwayne’s pants were torn away and Pavel was descending to his musty cock. The Russian looked up at him with pleading eyes, a look that he must have shared as soon he could feel the itchy wires of his beard pressing against his pubes as Pavel took Dwayne’s entire leaky shaft down into his needy throat. There was wetness and heat as his tounge slid across Dwayne's tightly erect cock, up and into his foreskin, teasing out pumps of Dwayne’s beer-can thick meat and tasting the salty flavor of his slick pre.
Pavel felt his thick ass being cupped by a pair of hands. Greg’s voice was drowsy, having just woken up, but even through the mumbling he knew what he wanted. Greg slid down Pavel's tight underpants, revealing his two globous cheeks, two hairy mounds that Greg began to play with, juggling and massaging with warm hands, before pulling them apart to reveal a tight, pink puckered asshole between two unkempt brown bushes. Pavel pushed his hips back, presenting himself to the little piggy as an invitation. It was one the Greg took, and gladly. His tongue glided around the edges of the hole, tasting its deep earthiness. He closed his eyes, losing himself in the sensation of being so close to his Pavel, of being one with his body and soul. Greg reached over, exploring Pavel's body until he found his thick hard cock, dripping with a slow thick trickle of pre that was leaving small droplets to hang through the air. Greg's other hand began to stroke his own meat, waves of orgasmic pleasure rippling through him.
It was not long until all three had cum, covering each other and the room around them with a stinking mixture of all of their batter. To exhausted to clean, they crashed then and there, drifting into a deep sleep in each other's arms, rubbing each others soft skin and feeling their already stiffening cocks against one another. They did nor realize nor care that the climax had sealed their fates. gone from history was the three most well known WWE wrestlers ever, transformed into nothing but fat pig slobs for the rest of their lives.
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Clumsy Your Way Into My Heart
@carlosreyesweek Day 6: AU!!!
Summary: When Carlos first volunteered to go grocery shopping for the station, he didn’t think he would be overthinking it as much as he is right now.
Cereal box shenanigans and loads of blushing later:
Carlos finds that he’s much calmer than he’s ever been since he got here. Maybe overthinking about food isn’t as bad as he thought it would be.
Tags: Carlos Reyes, TK Strand, Mentioned Owen Strand, Mentioned Paul Strickland, Mentioned Marjan Marwani, Mentioned Mateo Chavez, Mentioned Judd Ryder, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Grocery Store, Clumsy Boys, Firefighter Carlos Reyes,, Police Officer TK Strand, Pre-Relationship, Flirting.
Warnings: Blushing and clumsiness.
At the moment in which I'm writing this, this fic has been started less than 24 hours ago and was completed 10 minutes ago. My beta is going through it right now and I'm getting AO3 and Tumblr ready. As we've found out, AU is my kryptonite.
The hugest, and largest thanks and love to the one and only @lire-casander. The amount of love and support that I get from this woman is unbelievable. The help she's been on this fic alone is insane, let alone with everything else that I do. She's been a guide and a friend and this would not have happened without you <3
Read on AO3.
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When Carlos first volunteered to go grocery shopping for the station, he didn’t think he would be overthinking it as much as he is right now. And yet he keeps remembering how Marjan can only eat halal food and Mateo is lactose sensitive, Paul likes spicy food but Judd can’t handle any. Captain Tommy -he still needs some time to get used to her not wanting to be called by her last name- likes white bread while his own soon-to-return Captain Strand won’t eat anything that isn’t full-grain. So he keeps getting more food, and more food, and more food.
He started out shopping like he usually would, keeping in mind the slight dietary restrictions; a few vegetables and fruits, several dairy and soy products, some poultry. And then he came to the realisation that it would be better if he bought food for more than one day’s meals. And then his brain supplied the wonderful what if I want to make a dish and I can’t find canned peeled cherry tomatoes, which he knows is not only highly specific but also highly unlikely. And yet he now finds himself dragging a cart on the verge of overflowing. And he’s still got seven more aisles to go.
He's so focused on studying the displayed boxes of cereal that spread across half an aisle, holding two different brands in his hands and moving right and left to compare them with others, that he doesn't notice a whole other human being on the way until he’s being run over by flesh and bones.
They immediately get into a fumbling battle, legs somehow holding up. The boxes in Carlos’ slip, so do the other person’s. Carlos manages to catch two cartoons, the faint recognition that one of them is sugar flakes -which he didn’t pick- runs through his mind before he focuses on yet another cartoon making its descent through the sky. He steps forward, and so does the other person. They crash in the middle, chest to chest. And this time, they all come crashing to the ground.
Carlos lands on a knee, hands already going out to hold onto the boxes, when a body slams into his. He drops the box, holding onto the waist person that’s half splayed on him now. He follows the flat chest, taking note of the APD logo on the side of his shirt and the rainbow pinned next to it, to the bare beginnings of a stubble, up across thin, pink lips and a sharp nose, to end at mesmerising green eyes.
It takes all of his will power not to gasp, but he can't stop the dropped jaw. The man is beautiful. There's no other way to describe him. His light brown hair lays a mess on top of his head, his green eyes sparkle with a mix of shock and surprise, and his teeth seem to find relief in sinking into his lower lip.
He feels movement around him, and then a hand makes its way between them and lays on his shoulder. He feels the pressure on his chest give way, manifesting as an exhale from the man. Carlos realises that he’s been holding his breath too, and sighs, his exhale mingling with the man’s inhale. And then a cart crashes behind them, and they realise they’re sitting on the floor of a grocery store in the middle of the day. Their bubble crashes.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so clumsy I can’t believe this happened!” The man says as he fully pushes off Carlos, eye contact breaking to pick up the dropped boxes. The apology finally breaks through Carlos’ hazy mind, and he let’s go of the man’s shirt, coming to a stand as well as he picks up the remaining boxes.
“Oh no, no! It’s my fault, I wasn’t looking,” he states, finally straightening up. "Good save, officer,” he adds as he steps back before he can even think about.
The man's eyes snap back to him, widening in shock before his face breaks into a small smile and then his head falls forward, chuckling and shaking his head. Carlos finds himself snickering as well.
"I can say the same to you, firefighter," the man says, nodding his chin towards Carlos' own AFD shirt.
Carlos looks at his own shirt before he looks back at the man. He feels like he knows him, he's seen him before, but he can't remember where or when. But the green eyes bore into his very soul, so he looks down at his hands instead, finally noticing the box of organic multi-bran flakes.
"Uhh, these are yours? I'm guessing?"
The man looks at Carlos' hands, eyes and mouth opening is recognition. "Yeah, those are my dad's. A disgrace to the very idea of flakes," he adds as he glares at the box.
“They’re not that bad,” Carlos laughs, and the glare redirects itself from the box to Carlos. Which makes him cut himself mid-laugh, only to dissolve into chuckles again when the man cracks the smallest of smiles.
“Are you just saying that or have you actually tried them?”
“I’ve tried them, my captain back at the station likes them,” he replies, moving a step back to drag his cart closer. “I even got a box here,” he gestures to the cartoon laying on top of the mountain.
“Pfft, and I thought my dad was the only one crazy enough to like these. Good to know there’s someone else like him in here,” he shakes his head in amusement, a sentiment Carlos shares. Of everything he was imagining when he moved states to join the 126, he wasn’t expecting to be talking to a cute officer in the middle of the grocery store, discussing cereal of all things.
The man takes a few steps back, reaching behind the corner of the aisle and dragging a cart up next to him. Carlos extends an arm to him, handing over the box, which he takes and drops into his cart.
Carlos can’t help but sneak a peek into it. There’s a very obvious mix of junk food and snacks, and healthy organic and full-grain foods. It reminds him of his new Captain. He hasn’t interacted with him much, the man getting injured a mere day after Carlos got transferred. But the rest of the crew has given him a list of all the dietary preferences, Captain’s included.
He looks up at the man, finding him alternating between looking at the ground and the shelves. Carlos has noticed that he already has three boxes of cereal, he couldn’t possibly need more. He looks like he wants to say something, or maybe he’s reading it wrong and he wants to move away. Either way, he decides to take a plunge. He’s already moved half-way through the country in a leap of faith, why not take another one?
“I’m Carlos, by the way,” he extends an arm to the man, “Reyes, of AFD.”
The smile that he receives tells him that it’s the right choice. The other man extends his arm, hand wrapping around Carlos’ in a warm embrace. If this is how his hand feels, Carlos can’t even imagine what a hug would feel like.
“Hello, Carlos, I’m TK,” he gives their hands a shake. “Strand, of APD.”
Carlos is so enamoured with the man’s -TK’s- eyes and smile that it takes him a moment to register the name. But once he does, he can’t help the quick and rapid blinking he does to clear his mind.
“Wait, did you just say Strand?”
“Uhh,” TK blinks back at him, turning his head to a side as his eyelids flutter in confusion. “Yeah?”
Carlos doesn’t pay him much mind though, what are the chances of this happening?
“Is your father Owen Strand? Captain of the 126?”
“Yeah, that’s my dad, how did you know that?” All of the confusion that was mildly visible on TK’s face is now showcased a full one hundred per cent, both in his facial expressions and tone of voice.
“He’s my captain!” Carlos exclaims. “I work with the 126 too!”
It seems to take TK a moment to come to terms with what Carlos is saying. But the moment drags on so long that he begins to think he just got this awfully wrong. He’s about to disentangle their still bound hands when clarity finally shines on TK’s face and he breaks into a wide grin.
“You’re the new guy from New Jersey,” he says around a smile. Carlos is confused for just a second, wondering how he knows about his previous state of residence when TK continues talking. “My dad told me all about you! He can’t wait to get back tomorrow and work with you again. Said he only had to see you on one call and he knew he made the right choice asking you to join the 126.”
Carlos feels the blush rising up the back of his neck and into the highs of his cheeks, but he can’t really stop it. He knows he’s good at his job, he knows he’s a decent firefighter. But having the son of his Captain relay what said Captain said brings a sense of belonging and validation he didn’t think he’d get a mere three weeks on the job.
“He… he said that?” he asks. He needs to know. He’s been worried, stressing himself out of his mind in fear that he’s not showing the best of his abilities. Not only did he travel 1.5 thousand miles from one border of the country to another, he also took a job with a team that’s already well-formed and perfectly working without him. They didn’t ask for him because they needed him, they asked for him because they just wanted to. And he’s constantly aware of that whenever they’re on a call and everyone is on top of what they need to be doing.
“Yeah, man, he did!” TK says. He then takes another look at Carlos, and he can only guess that he can read minds. “He said you’re sharp, careful and smart. You think twice as hard and act twice as fast. He said you carry the job like it should be, with respect and responsibility,” he smiles at Carlos, closing the step between them and bringing a hand up to run the back of his fingers across the logo on his shirt.
Carlos brings his own hand up, covering TK’s -one of many things he’s done before his consciousness can think it out today. TK’s eyes glance over their hands before they stare up into him, the faint emerald greens ripping his insecurities and uncertainties into shreds with each passing second.
“Thank you,” he whispers. He can’t talk any louder when they’re this close. “I needed to know that.”
The smile he gets in reply is worth the distance he travelled. TK drifts his gaze down Carlos’ face, and he copies the action. He finds TK’s lower lip hidden between the bite of his upper teeth, and he can’t help but imagine what they would feel like holding onto his own.
“Excuse me!”
Carlos snaps his head to the side, a woman with bright red hair standing there glaring at both of them. He sneaks a quick glance at TK, both of them stepping back as she steps forward, reaching between them to grab a box of cereal before she dumps it into her cart and moves along. He follows her until she turns the corner, no longer in his visual field, before he turns back to a blushing TK.
He provides a small, pained smile, and Carlos laughs at the expression he’s presented with. They’ve been caught in two of these situations so far, and they’ve only met for minutes. Carlos supposes it would be embarrassing if it wasn’t for the pull he feels towards the man. The pull that has both of them stepping forward again, until there’s barely a foot of distance between them.
“So, you’ve been here for three weeks, right?” TK asks. Carlos knows TK knows the answer. Captain Strand sprained his shoulder on Carlos’ first day here, and that was three weeks ago. He nods anyway.
“So, I’m guessing you haven’t seen much of the city yet?”
A twinkle of hope starts to bubble in Carlos’ chest. He has a faint inkling of where this is going, but he isn’t sure. He can only wish and pray.
“No, not really. I’ve been to a couple of places with the crew, that’s it,” he answers, pausing for a moment to take a breath. “I haven’t found a tour guide yet.”
TK chuckles at him, the sound sending waves of happiness through Carlos, even as TK shakes his head at him. “Well, then, I have a proposition for you, Firefighter Reyes.”
Carlos is playing into it without a moment to think. “Oh, do you now, Police Officer Strand?”
TK is nodding back at Carlos before the words are even out of his mouth.
“How about this: I’ll be your tour guide.”
Carlos looks up at the ceiling of the store, rubbing a hand through his chin and humming as feigns thinking. “What would your payment be?” he asks.
“You let me take you out for coffee,” TK says around a smirk. All pretence of a game falls through shambles immediately, and they’re back into an intense round of gazing into each other eyes. Almost as if they can read each other through them.
“Can I bargain for a cheesecake?”
The question seems to come out of nowhere and throw TK off his track. His eyes widen for a moment before he’s bursting into laughs. The loud, booming kind with the head thrown back and hands bracing his own chest. Carlos smiles at the sight, the closed eyes, the exposed neck, the sound that carries absolute joy; it’s a view he wants to see for the entire rest of his life.
“Ahh, that can definitely be arranged,” TK says once he manages to stop laughing.
Carlos doesn’t reply. Instead, he takes his phone from his pocket, opening the contact app and handing it over. TK takes it, types a few buttons and gives it back. Carlos looks at the screen to see that he’s calling a number. A number that’s been saved under TK Strand Grocery Officer.
A phone ringing has him lifting his head, just in time to see TK pull out his own phone, decline the call and press a few more times on the screen. He then turns it around showing Carlos his own number saved as Carlos Reyes Grocery Fire.
“I think there should be a fighter in there,” he comments, much to the amusement of TK.
“Naaah. That might be your job,” he replies, looking Carlos up and down. “But you’re straight fire.”
As if on command, said fire burns through his face as he blushes yet again. This time he doesn’t resist the urge to hide his face, lifting his hands to cover the warmth he can feel spreading to the tips of his ears. He hears a chuckle he knows is TK’s behind his shield. He doesn’t know how this happened, but he’s sure he’ll be able to recognise the sound out of a crowd of a hundred people.
He feels hands touch his fingers wrapping around his palm as they pull away from his face. TK then rests a hand on his cheek, and Carlos leans into it, eyes locked onto each other.
“I need to go. Call me?” Tk asks, voice flowing like butter.
“You can arrest me if I don’t, officer,” Carlos replies, voice just as soft.
TK nods as he takes a deep breath, the smile never leaving his face.
“That’s a good idea. After all, I do where you work”
From anyone else, that sentence would sound creepy and send Carlos running. But from TK it sounds like a promise he doesn’t want to lose. “Okay.”
With a final glance, TK steps back, breaking all contact they have together. Carlos misses the touch half a second after it’s gone. He moves back, grabbing his cart. He slowly steps forward, moving towards the registers. As he passes Carlos’ cart, he stops to peek into it before he turns back to him.
“Buy my dad cashew nuts and you’ll be his favourite tomorrow.”
As he moves away with a final smile thrown his way, Carlos finds that he’s much calmer than he’s ever been since he got here. Maybe overthinking about food isn’t as bad as he thought it would be.
#carlosreyesweek2021#Day 6: AU#Carlos Reyes#TK Strand#Tarlos#Tarlos fic#Alternate Universe#Alternate First Meeting#They're clumsy boys your honour#911 lone star#911 lone star fic
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