#too many people in this fandom are just stupid and haven't read the books and we need to just start saying that more instead of pretending

[fromtheseventhhell]

Personally I think it's time for Arya stans to unionize and collectively start being meaner. I'm tired of being "nice" and "fair" to other characters when she gets routinely misinterpreted and turned into a background character. We already get called bullies for pointing out what's written in the books so we might as well embrace it.

[austinslounge]

I honestly tried to like Kaia, I truly did, but I can’t stand this shit anymore. Her desperate attempts to be popular, seem interesting and ”deep” are driving me insane at this point. I know it’s probably not her fault, but her parents’, they made her this cringy attention-seeker after all. I can’t understand what Austin sees in her other than her family’s connections or just a plain PR agreement. She has no personality, she always tries to gain popularity by copying her mother(or people she’s dating). It’s funny how she doesn’t even look that much like Cindy, sure, she’s beautiful, but Presley literally stole Cindy’s face. Her attempts to seem intelligent are also miserable. I’ve never seen any of her book club readings, because for me, most of her book recommendations are just airplane reads, but I’ve seen many people say that even when she’s talking about books, it seems scripted and staged. Like someone just gave her a summary and she retells what happened in the book, that’s it. I mean, what intelligence? She never even bothered to take basic acting classes. Her comments about nepotism speak volumes too. During the pandemic she bragged about having dinner reservations and partying with her friends. Her merch is awful. With all her money and resources, she could have made some really good stuff, but why would she?Her small insane fan base will pay 50$ for an ugly white shirt with a caption either way. She’s desperately clinging to anyone who can give her even the smallest amount of fame, her following people and then unfollowing them if they don’t follow back. The way she was clinging to Austin hardcore in July, dragging him away from his fans, when he wanted to interact with them. Her stupid cake for his birthday. Don’t even get me started on how she makes out with her female friends constantly or throws herself on her male costars or short SNL guys. I don’t know why I feel so annoyed and disgusted by her all the time. I swear, this girl spoils my excitement for Austin and his work every fucking time. Nepotism is not always a bad thing, there are talented nepo babies, but she’s like the epitome of everything I hate about nepotism. I don’t know how she can rub shoulders with people who actually have talent, get invited to all these awards and red carpets. Kaia had plenty of time to prove that she’s worth something, she’s been in the industry since she was a child, but no. Why would she prove anything? Her mother is Cindy Crawford, her father is a millionaire worth 400 million, her boyfriend is Austin Butler. I just wish she will go away finally. No matter how hard I try, I can’t warm up to her. Sadly, looking at the state she is now, you can clearly tell that the girl has issues, but sadly,having no brain,she can’t understand that she’s a tragedy about to happen.

💯

Girl! I wish I could give you an award for this post. You basically hit the nail squarely on the head with the many various reasons why a lot of us in Austin's fandom don't like this girl! I'd be saying the exact same thing if Austin were dating another woman just like this. I'm actually verrry surprised that people haven't called Kaia out on her very obvious clout-chasing by now.

I'll be honest, I never really cared for her even when she was dating Elordi. I don't hate her, she's just meh to me. Always has been. So my thoughts and feelings about her are not about Austin. It's more so about what I've observed about her over the years.

Her dating Austin just makes things even more unbearable though -- especially when you know that he could do so much better. 😩 But hey, it's his life, not mine!

When I realized they were dating however, I really did try to like her too, or at least give her a chance. I saw that Austin was with her, so I was trying to be a "good fan"and see what he may see in her. But last year, I started seeing more and more negative things that I just didn't like about her.

I really don't have much to add to this wonderful post, because you basically touched on the many various reasons why a lot of AB fans don't really care for her. I also think she makes Austin look cheap with her weird behavior and interests. 👀 She really cheapens his brand imo. But that's a topic for another day lol.

[ecogirl2759]

~~~NEW UPDATE~~~

(I'M A DUMBASS WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TUMBLR WORKS SO IF YOU SAW THIS ALREADY NO YOU DIDN'T)

I'm glad people liked my 4コマ KINGS post so much lol. I love spreading the word about obscure lore :)

Under the cut I've responded to some of my favorite tags, given a little more backstory into the source of these pictures, as well as posted a few new ones :D

There's also a question at the very bottom that I'd love to hear opinions on, but no pressure if y'all don't feel comfortable answering ^w^

You're welcome >:D

Same, bro. I was basically thinking that the entire time I was reading these books lol

I feel like I should give a little context to these comics and where they come from lol. I wasn't very clear about the backstory in my original post. I do agree, when I found these, I thought they were super important, too, particularly because I don't think a lot of the fandom knows about these books lol.

The Danganronpa 4コマ KINGS anthology series was published in the early 2010's featuring a bunch of different artists. The series is 4 volumes long and published by Spike Chunsoft, meaning, while these aren't necessarily canon, they ARE official :)

There is another series of anthologies in relation to both the first and second games, but I don't have those.

The first two volumes of this series is relatively well documented. There are sites where English translations have already been added to all of the comics in them (I'm pretty sure), as well as some screenshots popping up on places like Pinterest.

The third and fourth installments, however, are really poorly archived. The third has some content from it floating around, but it's hard to come by. The fourth had almost no information on it no matter where I searched.

I say this because a while ago I found the ONLY pictures of the Mastermind!Taka comic on this really old Tumblr blog from 2014 and REALLY wanted to figure out what it was about. (Didn't help that I couldn't read some of the bubbles in those photos.) First I searched for an English translation (there wasn't (so I'm working on one hehe)), then I tried to find which book it was even from, and NOTHING!

These books, since they were in circulation around 2014-ish, have stopped being printed, so copies of them are very hard to come by. Luckily, I was able to get my copies from a kind stranger on Ebay :)

-NOW-

Here are a few more pictures that I thought were funny/interesting that I couldn't add in my first post because of the picture limit lol.

Sorry for the really long post, I just thought it'd be interesting to share :)

Here's the page of artists that contributed to this anthology! Please go check them out (or see if they have any socials since it's been so long). Some credits change per volume, hence how many photos there are. (And sorry for my hand, it's hard to hold these open lol.)

You've probably all seen the covers, but have you seen what's behind the covers? (Also including the opening illustrations. These have probably been posted online already as well, but they're worth including imo.) (Again, please excuse the fingers, I'm trying my best ;-;)

^ Sayaka came with a smudge :( she still pretty tho

So, uh, remember when I said Hifumi made ship fodder? ......Here it is. Eat your heart out lol

Also remember when I said that Mondo's hair was fluffy and bouncy? Here's the proof:

Sakura has been de-buff-ified twice LMAO

ALSO remember when I said Syo was a fan of BL? ...... :)

ALSO remember when I said Kyoko was kinda socially awkward?

(Context: Kyoko sees Kiyotaka and Mondo calling each other bro and, thinking it'll strengthen their bond as well, calls Makoto "Makoto-oniichan," or "big brother Makoto" lol. Also, second picture says "I have come to save you, Makoto")

Chihiro Shinji chair meme

I'm at my picture cap, but there's a lot I haven't brought up lol

-SO-

For a different thread, would people like me to find pictures of certain characters? (i.e. just photos of the characters looking cool/hot/stupid without a lot of the text.) Because I am totally willing to do that :)

I've already got a lot on Byakuya, Sakura, Aoi and Mondo for all you simps out there, and it's not hard to find even more lol.

So lmk :D

[rosesradio]

so I never finished Heroes of Olympus but also I never liked Percy/Annabeth in PJO (……. which makes me an outcast I know) my reasons were silly but I was like 13 when I read the first series. (something something she was too mean to MY Percy and he deserved better) ALL this is to say, I’m curious on your opinion of HoO Percy/Annabeth:

“was not a fan of the amalgamation they became in HoO, but that’s another post”

would love to hear your thoughts as to why it was better in PJO or whatever you feel like sharing!

so first off, you should definitely finish HoO !! i'm not a huge stickler for "you have to read all of the source material" (because i haven't read past the first ToA book), and HoO is really only Peak Literature if you're like 14 (not to say adults can't like it obv, i do, but when you get older you notice some glaring flaws lol). that being said, you should still finish it, it has its rises & falls. i for one have been rereading son of neptune (very very slowly) & listening along to the newest olympian podcast. but anyways

i honestly can relate to your take on being young & having a book boyfriend & feeling overprotective of him lol. when i was like 14 & first reading HoO, i felt that way with leo when calypso was treating him like absolute garbage...like that's my little guy lol

so my take on percabeth is kind of a, "like it more than i don't, not overly invested in a fandom sense, take it or leave it" on the tier list. i enjoyed their development in PJO despite the moments where annabeth did give him a bit of a hard time, etc. they had a close friendship & trusted each other & i think it developed into a nice relationship (i will say them getting together the morning after annabeth's older brother figure/childhood crush/war rival Died is some Unhinged romantic timing on Richard's part, but i get that ya gotta wrap up the book & the underwater kiss was still cute, etc).

that being said, i understand how they were seperated in HoO & circumstances were desperate, but obv the judo flip scene was just...ick. i think i saw a post somewhere that rewrote it to where she pulled her knife on him, he pulled his sword on her, the romans got freaked out & then they just kinda half-play sparred with no winner, and that helped percy gain back some of his memories, which i think was a sweet rewrite. but anyways.

in the rest of the HoO books they're just kinda...wildly codependant with no individual personalities. annabeth needs percy to save her in battle because it's not like she's been training Longer than he has, and percy needs annabeth's wisdom because Obviously he has none of his own, Right?? (someone save percy from the stupid allegations i can't do it in these conditions Richard—this is all your fault Richard & the fandom Is Not Helping—)

all in all i think Richard's just...not good at writing established relationships as opposed to build up, which is funny because he pairs so many ships off-page & then we gotta see the amalgamations for the rest of the books (someone save solangelo i can't i need a cig—)

also for the record i think perachel is underrated. i think there was a point in tlo where percy admitted in the narrative that hanging out with rachel was more carefree than hanging out with annabeth, and that's kind of the ideal you would want in a partner.

so i'll take them or not, i like fanart & cute hc's with them & having them as a background pair. i don't see myself writing anything with them unless it's like a request or something though. i ship both of them with other people more in a Fandom sense, remaining a casual fan of percabeth. i know there's a niche group in the pjo fandom that are anti-percabeth & say annabeth is abusive—i'm not gonna say that's a lie or the truth or anything, i can see where they're coming from but i can see the other side of it too.

so yeah, that's pretty much my unorganized ramblings on percabeth ! thanks for asking !!

[not-poignant]

Hello! Wanted to ask about Ream. You said that you set your tiers a long time ago, and with current horrors of Patreon and such will you add some tiers to Ream so that once-a-month payers on Patreon could find a tier with same price on Ream and would be comfortable moving? Thanks!

Hi anon!

So this is something I've been thinking over for months actually.

At first I was like 'yes of course' and then a very good friend sat me down and I realised that...actually maybe not.

Here's the reason (tl;dr I haven't increased my income in 10 years and actually cost of living has gone up in that period of time and I need to eat too):

Those prices haven't changed in a decade. I haven't had a 'wage increase' on that front in a decade. You can't change tier prices once they're made, they're locked in place forever (until you delete or retire the tier).

Not only that, but I offer about...3-4 times as much as I used to.

In the end, I increased my prices on Ream (a semi-midway point between charging once and charging twice) because of inflation and cost of living.

I know that everyone reading this is impacted by that too, and that might mean some people can't subscribe to Ream (or can't subscribe on the same tier) for a few dollars more because it's just too much, but I am now drastically undercharging compared to so many other authors on the market who do subscription.

Where I charge $5 USD for base early access, most charge between $10-20. I settled on $9 USD on Ream. Some authors have tiers of like... $100-200 per month, and I couldn't ever dream of doing that. But this is my career, and it's the money I use to pay for food, bills, etc. I don't make a minimum wage with the hours I work, and the idea of just hitting the country's average yearly income feels like a distant dream.

Granted, some of that could be down to my marketing options (like maybe I'd make more if I took all my writing offline and made people pay for all of it, but I don't want to do that, I like the model I do now, but it's dependent on those who can comfortably afford to support it... supporting it - if they want!!)

When I set up Ream, and set up the new tiers, I set them up with how much the cost of living has changed in a decade and how much other authors are charging on the whole. And I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I have 10 years behind me, I'm offering 3-4 times as much as I used to and am only charging about 50-80% more, cost of living has changed, and since I don't rely on book royalties (I love Perth Shifters but royalties work out to about $30 every 3 months), subscription is where the changes need to happen.

I'm not super happy about that, like, obviously I don't want people to feel hard done by, but all I can do is remind myself - and remind you and others anon - that unlike 99% of other authors in subscription, almost all of my writing becomes freely available if folks just have patience. That's something I know for a fact some other authors think I'm stupid for doing, lol, but I prefer doing it this way because it feels fandom and community friendly in a different way.

So even if folks can't afford a few dollars more to subscribe on Ream (you can become a follower though and still get email notifications - no one needs to pay to follow me on Ream, that's completely free), you just need to be patient. Like I get it, that few dollars is the difference sometimes between a bill getting paid and not getting paid - I feel and live that myself. I'm so angry at the Patreon situation, because honestly, if my account goes tomorrow and I get banned there, I may have to quit writing if Ream can't pick up fast. I cannot work for like... 50c an hour.

And I need to make some posts about this on Patreon obviously, but the stress of it is so overwhelming, because it's like staring down the barrel of a potentially career-ending policy decision.

Anyway, re: tier prices, the one exception to not changing / offering half-priced or lower-priced tiers is the merch tier, where I have thought about approaching Ream with getting an ongoing discount code, since I calculated sending merch on the merch tier at the $25 USD rate with the awareness that some people would be paying twice as much, and the leap there is the most significant one. That's a place where I'm willing to compromise if I can work that out, and Ream is typically very accommodating.

Folks who can't afford it still get access to nearly everything eventually - and not in a year, but like...in a few months, or even just a handful of weeks.

Folks who don't think my writing is worth a modest increase can choose to bow out whenever they want (or sign up to a lower tier and still get access to nearly everything eventually)!

I am grateful to any and all folks who choose to support my writing whether it's financially or not, and I do get that like, sometimes the budget just does not allow for an increase of any kind. Or maybe you only signed up this year and don't believe in paying more than what you do already, and so it doesn't matter that my prices have been the same for a decade. Most artists / creators / writers have put up their book prices / art prices / etc. Ream is the first time I've ever done it.

Anyway on the matter of the merch tier, I'll talk to Ream about organising some kind of perma-discount and offering it specifically in that tier. For the rest, I'll keep thinking about it, and maybe talk to Ream to see what they suggest too.

fdsalkfkdjsa

Anyway, I'm just... I am sorry anon, in a perfect world, I would have been able to incrementally increase my tier prices all along with a lot of warning in advance. And I'm also like, extremely and intensely hoping that I can just stay on Patreon, but that seems less and less likely with their new policy changes. I'm not uprooting, I will keep posting on Patreon until the lights metaphorically go out. It's just, they could kick me in an hour and I'd have no recourse and there'd be no point in appealing. Or they could kick me in 5 years, or 10.

In some ways this isn't a problem until Patreon makes it a problem for all of us, but yeah, that's where I'm at. A friend basically reminded me that it's okay for me to value my writing and my 10 years of experience and my track record and my stories a bit more, and I took their advice to heart, and then have felt terribly guilty ever since, lol. I'll keep thinking about my options here, and what I can do, because I obviously don't want to leave a lot of people behind, either.

[super-paper]

A bit of a vent, if that's okay; I think one of the most frustrating things regarding this chapter has been the overall behavior from the fandom, and this sort of mandatory love for anything from the manga. I get it, when we love something we can't bear other people talking bad about it (I'm the same way with some things), but it's annoying how a lot of us haven't been allowed to criticize or show any anger/disappointment about the chapter. It's upsetting, especially as an Izuku stan, to see other accounts (famous accounts too) claim that if we're disappointed with Izuku then we hate his character. That we're too stupid and cynical to think Izuku did anything wrong at all and wasn't allowed to defend himself. That we can't read if we think Izuku and Bakugo killed Kurogiri, or that Izuku wasn't able to save Shigaraki because after all he did free him from his abuser and made him recognize that he was in fact a crying child. And to each their own I suppose; but putting interpretations of arcs and narratives aside, this overall superiority of "there's nothing wrong with this chapter, you just don't get it so shut up" and the undermining of how a lot of fans feel is seriously infuriating. (Maybe this is how people felt when I'd argue that Armored Might wasn't character assassination lol). I'm just tired of getting called every name in the book for having my own criticisms, and getting accused of hating Izuku, or seeing Shigaraki stans undermined as if they weren't aloud to feel sad about it. Because it's exactly why people loved those characters and arcs so much that they feel such a strong reaction to 423. I'm upset with the weird ooc behavior and lack of introspection from Izuku because I love his character so much. And I'm upset with this chapter because I love this manga and wanna see a well written conclusion for the characters and story.

Nah, I definitely feel the same. So many fans have been taking the words of upset Tenko and Izuku fans out of context (or even outright twisting their words around) and using it as an excuse to be bullies. I'm sorry if folks have been harassing you.

At any rate, I think you have every right to criticize the chapter. Like, I'm very much a silver-lining-look-on-the-bright-side type of guy-- and even I'm having trouble finding anything to like about it lmao 😭. Basically, I liked AFO's conclusion... on the surface, at least. But then my mind goes right back to thinking about Tenko and how AFO's conclusion/treatment is yet another thing that ultimately contributed to his death, and I get mad all over again lmao. Like, an ending where Tenko gets turned into a "cautionary tale" that "everyone learns from" is pretty much the last thing I wanted for his character. It's basically ~*~building a better society~*~ on top of his corpse. And what exactly is his life/death cautioning against exactly? Grooming?? Stranger danger??? Being kidnapped by literally the worst guy alive when you're five years old and getting brainwashed into believing you were born evil???? LARPing????? Like.... it just feels like all of Tenko's suffering was ultimately just used as a stepping stone in order to finally rid the world of AFO-- and like, rationally, I know this isn't the case and I'm oversimplifying things, but like.. the way the rain stops and the sun starts shining as Tenko evaporates... uuuuoohhhgh---

*cough* Anyway! I'm also a staunch Iron Might defender, but like. In that particular case it was very obvious to me why Iron Might was necessary + a fitting end to Toshinori's arc. In Izuku's case, I simply cannot see how chapters 420-423 ultimately do right by his character. Since chapter 1, Izuku becoming "a great hero"/"more heroic than anyone else" was always tied to his drive to save when no one else is able (or willing) to. So these chapters being framed as the "climax/finale' of his character arc-- these chapters where he doesn't stop to think about saving Tenko at all and just focuses on wiping AFO out-- betray the very core of his character while also betraying the very premise of the series. Like. This is bad. This is bad bad and I sincerely, honestly want to believe Hori has something up his sleeve that'll somehow fix things. 😭But even if it is a fake out, and even if Hori reveals Izuku had some sort of plan all along... I don't think it'll undo the damage to the readers' trust atp, sadly.

(Like...! So many of Izuku's defining moments involve him standing up to abusers on behalf of their victims. The moments that define him as a hero have him encouraging those victims to fight back and reclaim agency over their bodies/powers-- but even though Tenko ultimately did fight back, it feels disingenuous to give Izuku any sort of actual credit in this situation bc, again, Izuku wasn't thinking of Tenko at all while he was beating Tenko's body AFO into dust lmao. Like I've been saying, so much of 423 is just indefensibly bad writing and Izuku and Tenko's characters deserved better than this).

[periwinkle-the-11th]

Intro post!

i'm Peri!

I spend my time writing, reading, crocheting, embroidering, drawing, sewing, procrastinating my school work, and complaining about everything under the sun.

Heres my pronoun page!

I post all my writing and various creations over on @pericreatesstuff and my ao3 is Peri_Writes

Sidenote: Guess who's officially a college student!!!!

my writing blog is mostly unedited snippets, and my ao3 is either fully plotted and finished beta'd works... or smth i thought up at 3am wrote in one sitting and only proofread once.

I'm in way way way to many fandoms so heres an incomplete list:

Keep It Steady Podcast

Juno Steel (i just started season 4 no spoilers PLS )

pjo/hoo (I haven't read toa yet but its on my list)

kotlc

Kaleidotrope Podcast

Voltron (ik, i'm judging me too.)

bridge to terabithea

Atla

Daylight Shooting Star (if you know dss I am begging you to be my friend I have literally never met anyone else who's read it)

Marauders

Sk8 the infinity

Ohshc

The Sky Fall Trilogy by shannon messenger (once again if you've read it (and liked it) I am begging you to be my friend its so so underrated)

The Lost Books: Scroll of Kings (SO SO SO UNDERRATED)

I listen to way to much music way to often, heres some artists/bands i like: Set it off, pierce the veil, taylor swift, Fin (steffan argus), conan gray, PEGGY, olivia rodrigo, alec benjamin, one direction, Natalie jane, sadie jean, my chemical romance, fall out boy, NF, MARINA, Maren Morris, girl in red, melanie martinez, Avril Lavigne, Madonna, Ke$ha, little mix, Queen, Billy joel, Zara Larsson, Maisie Peters, Lauren spencer smith, ABBA, Jorge Rivera-Herrans, Sam Hunt, and literally so many more

and my tags:

#peri personal - just about everything not fandom related/interactions w people/my life

#peri complains - self explanatory really

#music rambles - rambling about music, mostly when new songs/albums come out

#allis adventures - various stuff about my sourdough! her full name is Allison Breadorthy and she is ALIVE

#baking Breadorthy - actually baking her ^

#peri crafts - self explanatory

#my memes - crappy memes i make, mostly reblogged from my writing blog

#writing related - self explanatory but its mostly me complaining about my fics, plot holes i find, and polls bc i'm indecisive

#friends <3 - my actual conversation style interaction with my mutuals

#lena and tim - my self indulgent au where Lena Luthor adopts Tim Drake after his parents die, the fic is being plotted currently. THE FIC IS CANCELED!!! LEX IS LENA'S BROTHER! LENA IS KON'S AUNT!! THE PLANNED TIMKON IS LEGAL INCEST! (why does this keep happening??? TvT)

#bravery points game - I've started playing a points game with my anxiety, where every time I do something that scares me/my anxiety told me would end in disaster I get a point! It's stupid but it's motivating, I'm being brave! (Even tho it's terrifying) I don't really have a points goal but I wanna try to get to 100 before the end of the year!

Thats all for now!! I'll probably update this once i realize i forgot smth tho

[eyra]

20 questions for Fic Writers

thank you to everyone who tagged me and I'm sorry it's taken me a month to do this.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25 plus a few that I've posted anonymously. bonus points if anyone ever finds them.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

348,031

3. What fandoms do you write for?

just HP/marauders these days

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Brief History of Dragons - people like this Remus I think.

Beneath a Big Blue Sky - my love letter to Yorkshire.

Statten Park - an old one but I do actually still like this, it's a lot of fun.

Sunshine on Leith - can we knock this out of the top five already please.

And a Hedgehog in a Pine Tree - I'm so surprised that this is here, it's such an inconsequential little thing. people like Christmas I suppose.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh god I try I really do, every email that comes through with a new comment makes my day but I'm terrible for leaving them all unanswered in my inbox. I'm sorry to everyone who has ever left a comment that I haven't responded to.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The Proctor House for sure. A Winter, Forever Ago is pretty bleak too.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of them! probably the most joyous is something like Beneath a Big Blue Sky because you've been on a decent journey to get there. that goose threatening everyone's happiness and all.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really. one comment I do get sometimes is that the way I write Remus/Sirius is OOC and yes I agree, it absolutely is. Remus in Beneath a Big Blue Sky has nothing to do with e.g. Remus in Ullswater. those men have never even met in a bathroom. James in A Brief History of Dragons is an arsehole compared to living legend James in Beneath a Big Blue Sky. Sirius in Statten Park is a complete stranger to Sirius in Heartstones. none of them, really, have much to do with their canon counterparts. just bits here and there but I haven't read the HP books in well over a decade and I don't really remember what these characters are actually like beyond the surface-level stuff, so a lot of what I write is fairly OOC. it's all done knowingly and intentionally and I'm not going to change that.

9. Do you write smut. If so, what kind?

oh gosh a little bit a little bit. please understand that I'm a repressed Englishwoman and I'm trying my hardest. Seventeen Hours and Statten Park are both fairly smutty. I'd like to write more but I'm awkward af.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

no not really my thing but I do like to take other stories and plonk marauders characters into similar worlds - Ullswater was very much inspired by If We Were Villains.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no but people keep nabbing them to get them printed and then apparently sell them? so actually maybe yes. grow up.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no because I'm a control freak and I don't allow my work to be replicated. sorry about it. I think people have done it for personal offline projects though and that's absolutely fine.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

back in the day I used to co-write with my then-partner but it was just bits and pieces, not full fics. again, I'm a control freak so I'd struggle with this. I need to get my own way always.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

right so I should say Remus/Sirius but honestly... Remus/James just reaches places other pairings simply cannot. so it's a toss up.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

oh god how long have you got. I think one of the reasons I dislike Sunshine on Leith so much is because I put that stupid note at the end promising a third part in a few weeks. that was in 2020 and I've still not done it. help.

16. What are your writing strengths?

description, particularly when it comes to: natural landscapes, buildings, food, weather. I think I'm alright at witty dialogue too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

actually writing anything down. also action, can't do action to save my life.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't think I've done it but I'd give it a go.

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

I think it was LOTR and yes it probably still exists somewhere on an old desktop computer at my dad's house and yes that thought keeps me up at night.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

The Proctor House and Beneath a Big Blue Sky

[leverage-ot3]

I was tagged by my buddy and old siren (freeform) mutual @imaginejolls for this ask game!

Star Sign(s): Sagittarius sun, Aquarius moon, Capricorn rising

Favorite Holidays: halloween :3

Last Meal: my mom's cajun beef stew with rice pilaf and a roll

Current Favorite Musician: I've been listening to a lot of noah kahan recently (vermont represent), but I also adore hozier, gracie abrams, lizzie mcalpine, phoebe bridgers, etc. I've never been the same since I was told my taste in music was yallternative. I also love lil nas x and found a new musician through tiktok that goes by brye that is really good

Last Music Listened To: the playlist I listen to the most, especially for sleep: immaculate fall vibes (technically the name of the playlist is just a bunch of the artists featured in it but the description is immaculate fall vibes). my most recent song was save me by noah kahan

Last Movie Watched: this is so embarrasing but I watched the meg with my dad yesterday lmao. I have a weakness for stupid monster movies (we used to watch the shittiest syfy movies together when I was in hs. the shittier the better). I thought he'd like it because jason statham but he was meh about it

Last TV Show Watched: last one I was invested in was the new episode of percy jackson, but I did watch a little bit of that polish show high water on netflix the other day which seemed interesting

Last Book/Fic Finished: god I actually haven't been reading fic for a hot minute which is really surprising. probably my reread of of the northmost winds and skies by @jjackfrost. wasn't in the crossover fandom until earlier this year but actually adore that pairing. this is now my comfort longfic (+400k). it's so good, I read it and I wasn't even in the fandom at the time and it was amazing!!! all the characters are written so well, the voices and pov are great, the worldbuilding and storyling is amazing! I've gushed in the comments before but ugh I love it so so much. inject this into my mf veins

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: I don't really abandon fics, I just wait for them to get updated again. as for books, I really tried to get into loveless by alice oseman because aroace rep but I couldn't really get into it :/

Currently Reading: nothing at the moment (not going to list all the fics I'm waiting for updates for because I can't remember them all and the ones I can remember would take up like multiple pages lol)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: ooo this is hard. technically speaking I've been hyperfixated on playing animal crossing so the most recent thing I looked up for that was what treasure islands were lmao

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: oooo I'm not sure actually? I really love having mutuals even if we don't talk. I also really enjoy when people engage with my posts and appreciate my tags and aus. I like sharing my thoughts and ideas with you guys and it's so heartwarming and validating when y'all enjoy it right back

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: I agree with jolly, I miss siren dearly. can they just do a leverage in like five years and retcon the last season? thanks

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: probably some of the kdramas I've watched. I adored the guest on netflix but there's no fandom. I really REALLY wanted some fix-it fics for the ending of my name but there weren't any because the fandom was too small :(

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: so many things that I jump between (the adhd of it all lmao). I really would like to make a leverage ot3: are they queer video essay and I have some stuff typed up BUT I work in the healthcare field and I'm really hesitant of putting myself on video because when you work in this field it can be weird if clients or employers find your channel. so that's technically on hold for privacy reasons rn. I also really want to learn how to sew and make clothes and my roommate has even offered to help (they used to do competitive cosplay) but I'm just very unmotivated. I want to get back into witchy things but don't have the mental energy to invest in that other than appreciating my stones

tagging 10 moots but anyone can play!!!: @leverageclips @all-things-breathing @digitaldiscipline @peachyteabuck @vampirewalterskinner @buzzmcnab @sidras-tak @my-beloved-lakes @kajaono @suddenrundown

[ca-suffit]

i love loustat and hate racists. why do so many people seem to think that the two can’t co-exist 😭

bcuz white fandom has to perpetuate the lie that fandom racism stems from a shipping issue. cuz all white supremacy based shit relies on manipulation and follows the same patterns. victimize ur stance and create a fake enemy, plant ideas that there's an "unreasonable aggressor" who will say all of these things, build ur numbers.

they use inflammatory language and rely on racism to help them out, bcuz anyone talking about race (not even racism, just race!), especially fans of color, is immediately seen as "trying to start something." look at the way that virginia and nalyra speak in such condescending tones to everyone but then play victim whenever anything is said back, to avoid ever actually speaking on the topic. That's real white woman shit and u don't have to be a white woman to have it work the same, especially in online spaces where u are clearly aligned with whiteness and soothing white feelings. look at how showmey0urfangs and others are ready to use their blackness as a way to say "fandom racism isn't real, this is actually about shipping, btw all these black fans are bad, go abuse them lol." It's saying Lestat is always the victim and why are black and brown fans so mean about interracial relationships with white ppl, shouldn't we be holding hands and saving the world. Why is everyone so mean to white ppl?? :( "THEY haven't read the books, THEY don't know anything and are trying to create race wars and divide the fandom bcuz THEY don't know what's coming in the plot. Listen to me, I'm nicer and more reasonable."

It's insane to downplay what we've already seen on screen from Lestat and keep saying eventually there's a payoff where he's redeemed of everything and everyone is just too stupid to consider that. It's fucking insane to literally sit there and say "nothing ur seeing is real actually, black and brown fans are SOOOO illiterate and hate white ppl so much, I can't believe this." and yet that's exactly what happens. and WORKS. Literally, simply casually addressing race in any context is so much easier than all of this, but fandom and the world would rather have this happen. Bcuz if white supremacy is ever dismantled then there goes a lot of systems ppl RLY don't want gone and ofc we can't have that.

[incarnadinedreams]

So I finally finished reading TGCF! (The main novel, I haven't gotten to the extras yet). I watched the first season of the donghua ages ago (right after I watched what was available of the MDZS donghua at the time and before I read the MDZS novel), then started reading TGCF as the first volumes of the official English versions were releasing and fell off.

My original plan was to "catch up" through book 5 and just keep up with the official releases. As soon as I finished book 5 I immediately abandoned that plan and went straight to the fan translations (whatever, I'll still be buying the officials as they release so I don't feel too guilty about it).

Anyway, I am feeling..... surprisingly normal about this book? I enjoyed it and had fun reading it and so far have not felt any inklings of obsessive derangement over it.

(Extremely long and rambling first impressions/thoughts after a single quick read below the cut, probably not that interesting. May contain major spoilers, and sorta comparing it to MDZS and specifically JC a bit just because the comparisons get pushed a lot because of the overlap in the fandoms)

Anyway, as a Jiang Cheng Enjoyer I've fairly often seen people say things like 'you should just read TGCF, Mu Qing is actually what JC stans wish Jiang Cheng was' or 'Mu Qing is Jiang Cheng but done right' and I just....... kinda don't see it?

Anyway... Is it just me? Am I stupid and missing something?

I mean, there are some obvious parallels and MXTX very clearly has a pattern/dynamic/formula she likes with the 'best friend side characters' slot, re-used some similar surface-level descriptions for Mu Qing that had been applied to Jiang Cheng (bad-tempered, sarcastic, unlikable, good looking, etc). So I'm definitely not saying people are totally wrong for seeing a connection there.

But they didn't actually feel all that similar to me beyond a handful of traits? And not only because of the tragic lack of jilfy purple electro-whip.

I think part of the problem is that Mu Qing suffered from a serious case of "tell, don't show" in his portrayal... in the text we're being told by other characters that he's so unlikable or has such a nasty personality or is so untrustworthy... but then rarely or never actually says or does anything "on camera" to show that?

Like, this isn't "he has done nothing wrong!" in the "I shall protect this precious blorbo of my heart" way, it's in the "ummmmmm... he has actually... not done anything wrong in this situation...? And I am confused as to why these characters are reacting to him in a way that is so wildly out of proportion to what has actually happened?"

As much as I love Jiang Cheng, he does at least actually say some mean things "on screen" in the novel to earn that bad-tempered sharp-tongued characterization. I might personally think he was perfectly justified in saying about 98% of them and being pissed as hell, but at least he actually does the being angry and bitter and verbal lashing out that he's characterized with. (Though I think he actually does a lot less of it than people seem to think, as most of the time he's just being pretty normal actually. But there are some scenes at least.) Of course, conversely, Wei Wuxian does also do many more actually bad things to balance it out too and make JC's on-screen anger/reactions make a lot more sense.

But Mu Qing on the other hand... a few snippy comments and some eye rolling? Everything else always ends up being someone else baselessly accusing him based on some accidental circumstances that got cleared up with reasonable explanations. His involvement in the whole turf war over the meditation place was mostly him showing up after the rest of them had already made up their minds and he was trying to de-escalate the situation without losing the job he was using to support his mother with or creating more problems.

The only kinda bad things I think he does (be okay with the idea of using the Human Face Disease against the Yong'an people to stop it from spreading in the Xianle capital city) is one of the few things that nobody actually has any issue with him for! You could argue that it was bad to get Hua Cheng kicked out of the army... but also he was 14 and there are no actual details given and tbh that kid was kinda creepy from an outside perspective (even if I liked him)...

To be honest I'd seen a few people making vague comments about his "betrayal" in the past so I knew it was coming, but "I'm gonna go take care of my mom instead of doing these former rich fuck's laundry" was so deeply underwhelming on the betrayal scale I was like "wait, that's it?"

I mean there was not even a siege involved...? Not a single declaration of hatred? Not even a little bit of threatened torture?

Anyway, I was already still feeling some kind of way about that royal laundry situation when I got to the scene in Mt Tonglu where Mu Qing is all "I was in awe of you, you're a better person than me and I wanted to be your friend" while Xie Lian is like "um well you'd spit in someone's cup but you wouldn't poison it so I don't want you to die I guess."

I just felt sort of vaguely put off by the whole exchange and the sense of a total lack of reciprocity from Xie Lian. His whole vibe is "well I don't dislike you enough to let you die, and saving people is my thing in general so, y'know, here I am saving you."

Because what made the whole dynamic work in MDZS was how (even if the characters didn't necessarily know it about the other) they just cared about each other so much, to an absolutely unhinged degree, and that felt missing here. So even though WWX has some of the same vibe of negative or resentful opinions of JC at points, it hits different because they're laid on the backdrop of an utterly unhinged sacrifice specifically and uniquely for Jiang Cheng (which, unknown to WWX, was needed because of a more standard in type but but still unhinged sacrifice of his own that was specifically and uniquely for WWX)

I don't necessarily mind that specific relationship being different or less intense in TGCF (in fact I prefer that it's not just a copy-paste of the same characters going by different names with a bit more polish, the way some people made it sound like it would be), but the way that specific scene played out given the backdrop of how MQ keeps getting treated throughout the rest of the story just felt icky to me. Idk.

A lot of the way the characters interacted with each other just felt like the action and reactions were a little mismatched or something? Something about the behaviors involved didn't ring as painfully, horribly, clearly true to me as they did in so many MDZS scenes.

Anyway I did enjoy both Mu Qing and Feng Xin as characters, I'll definitely be indulging in some FengQing content (recs/links welcome if anyone actually read this far lol), just specifically their relationship with Xie Lian did not inspire in me even a teensy fraction of the depths of absolute feral obsession that the Yunmeng Shuangjie relationship does. It... just did not resonate that way with me. If I had to speculate (in a wild and baseless fashion, source: my ass), I think that toning down the intensity might have even been intentional on the author's part this go around.

Anyway a lot of that was mostly because the expectation of a strong parallel and deep reaction to the Xianle trio's relationship was pre-planted in my mind, and such expectations are generally always doomed to fall short anyway.

As far as the rest of the novel, like I said - it was generally quite enjoyable, I had fun reading it, I'm certainly not trying to trash it! I'd say I actually overall enjoyed the HuaLian relationship developing in the novel itself more than WangXian, in terms of how the flirting was executed. Like "what if you had an extremely dangerous and fervently obsessed stalker, but also make it cute". I don't dislike WangXian, but for me their relationship was just a fun side-plot and not what I really cared about or kept reading for. I did find the Hong-er and lantern ghost flashback scenes quite touching and sweet.

The first ~200 chapters (by the web novel serialization chapter numbers) I'd say were generally constructed better than MDZS, so I see where people say there was a bit of a level up there. The last ~40ish chapters the pacing felt kind of off to me, like there was just too much crammed in and MXTX just wanted it to be over and done with.

The 'uncovering secrets of an ancient lost empire/kingdom' type of plot is my absolute jam, my favoritest trope of all time, I actually loved the concepts there. It was like a two-for-one, since we got the learn about the fall of Xianle which scratched that itch a little bit, and then the full-on mystery aspect with Wuyong. I wish there had been more time spent on the mystery/uncovering information about Wuyong aspect of the plot rather than the answers coming relatively quickly.

Unsurprisingly in addition to Feng Xin and Mu Qing, I was a huge fan of Yushi Huang, Ling Wen, Shi Qingxuan, He Xuan, Lang Qianqiu (his adorable golden retriever energy is irresistible when combined with a Tragic Backstory), Guzi, Yin Yu, Quan Yizhen

Surprise favs were Pei Ming (I'd only seen through the donghua S1 so I kinda had him categorized in my mind as the offscreen God of Fuckboys, but ended up liking him an unreasonable amount) and Qi Rong

Anyway I had all of these thoughts while I was reading then felt a bit guilty about them when I read the postscript because I am the person she was afraid of coming over to read TGCF after MDZS :x

[helloalycia]

hi! just wanted to pop in quickly to tell you that i've finally gotten around to reading both of your alicia clark books! i remember starting the first one a long time ago but never managing to finish it - i reckon it's because i've never actually watched fear the walking dead because, well, i ✨fear✨ the walking dead (sorry for the pun lol but no seriously, i'm too scared to watch such shows, even though alycia's in it 😭) but i always manage to come back to ur account and ur fics (i basically grew up with them) and i'd seen that you'd posted new content about alicia clark, so i just had to give your books another try and i absolutely loved it. i loved alicia & kamille, i loved mía and al and oliver and so many other characters and it really broke my heart when joanie and madison and adam died.

kamille is an amazing character; she is patient and calculated, fearless but also scared. she is hope and warmth and the future alicia always deserved.

i'm not religious by any means, but you still managed to make me understand and respect the hope people gain from having faith in something/someone but also the boundaries and doubts that come along with it (even though you didn't mean for it to take over the story). believing in something also often comes with rules, so it was very interesting for me to read about kamille's inner conflict about breaking them: did they really matter in a world where law and order was gone and safety and trust was always only temporary? and even if the world didn't turn to shit, kamille is a muslim lesbian and a woman of color - as i've said, i'm not religious, but i'm also a queer woman of color and i did grow up in a househould with certain beliefs, so if you don't mind and feel comfortable sharing it, i'd love to hear more about your opinion/thoughts on this matter. only if that's okay with you though, you can skip this part, if you don't want to answer that question of course! i don't wanna pressure you into anything!

but yeah, i really did love kamille (even though she was so fucking stupid and oblivious sometimes 😭). and as i've already said: i've never watched ftwd before but kamille and alicia just somehow made sense to me. i haven't felt this single in a loong time hahahaha 🥲

i believe the ftwd fandom is not very huge and i know that some of your other fics for other fandoms might get more attention, but i really do appreciate it every single time u post a fic about alicia (i mean i appreciate every fic you post but i'm kinda loving alicia clark very much right now).

just wanted to let you know that bc she seems to be one of your favorite characters and you must like writing fics about her. so yeah, if you ever feel like those fics are not being recognized properly; i recognize them. and i very much appreciate them. 🫶🏻

sorry this message is wayyy longer than i intended it to be haha

firstly can i just say there’s so much to unpack with this but first and foremost, this brought tears to my eyes because it’s such a genuinely sweet and thoughtful message, and it means a lot when someone really delves into what i’ve written and appreciates it as more than fanfiction, so thank you 😭

okay so i love your fear the walking dead pun, really made me laugh 😂 i really appreciate you giving my fics another go as well, especially as someone who doesn’t usually go for scary stuff like that – it means a lot! ♥️

you’re right about the ftwd fandom being tiny haha, it’s a struggle writing stuff when not many engage with it, but thank you so much for letting me know you enjoy my stuff! i think i’ve been writing a lot for Alicia lately because i genuinely just miss her character and there’s a lot to work with in that universe and with her, plus i’m still having withdrawal from the kamille x alicia fic as it was so fun to write and i miss them 😂 you’re right btw - kamille was a dumbass haha but her and alicia felt so real to me and i genuinely forget she’s not in the actual show 😂

again, very grateful you recognise that though – it’s always so touching to know there’s someone out there delving into what i’ve written! as you said about the subtle commentary within the fic about religion and beliefs combatting a world where it isn’t ’needed’ anymore, that was something that i’m glad you picked up on! i feel like i try to include subtleties in my writing on similar more serious themes, rather than just a fic or imagine, so it means a lot someone noticed them :)

in terms of my opinion on the whole queer women of colour and belief system, i’m happy to share! honestly writing the kamille x alicia fics were a little outlet for me as i’m in a similar boat, a pakistani lesbian, and i genuinely face this issue every day, so obviously i can only share my opinion.

as a person of colour yourself, you must understand how it is being viewed in the lgbtq+ community as someone who isn’t white, but i feel like it’s even harder when you’re a follower of a religion, so in my case Islam. But i won’t go into how it is being viewed like this externally because you can see that anywhere. For me, it’s the internal conflict.

i think knowing that i like women and can never feel otherwise makes it hard because it’s always a decision between do i force myself to think and feel differently because of my family? or do i lead my life how i want to? but then that in itself is hard because even though i’ve told myself i’m a lesbian and accepted that, have i really? i don’t share it to anyone other than my friend and sisters. I don’t know how to. And then my religion and beliefs come into play - i genuinely believe God/Allah wouldn’t frown on me for feeling this way because He created me, but other Muslims would see it as a sin and me straying away from religion. But is it really straying if it’s not my choice? Surely my beliefs should be between me and God, not everyone else?

No matter what, believing in something bigger than me and the fundamentals of my religion make me feel calm and centred. I don’t care how many times people say being gay and Muslim is wrong, because it’s not to me. I can be both. And it doesn’t change any of what i believe. Saying that though, my parents put religion first even though they’re not very religious. Family is second to them whereas it’s first for me. Their beliefs shape them and i can’t exist within that if it doesn’t follow their ideals.

It genuinely comes down to perspective, and as much as i tell myself i don’t care what others think, i do. Mostly my parents. If they knew, they’d despise me. And it’s that thought of do i lie forever to keep them in my life? or live my truth? the answer is, i don’t know. My biggest fear is being alone, funnily enough like Kamille, so i don’t know if i’d rather live an unhappy life surrounded by people or a happy life alone.

But yeah - that’s just the base points of my thoughts on the topic, as well as my experience. If you have any more questions or want me to clarify anything, do let me know! the truth is, most of the stuff Kamille fears or worries is a mirror of my life lol. Only difference is, her circumstances don’t make her choose because it’s not a choice, it just is.

Hope that helps and once again, thank you for your kind words! 🥰♥️

[burnitalldowndarling]

(4/4) and yet you get all these young, new writers writing as if instead of using our language the way it should be used, create things that read as if they’re literally translating English syntax to the letter, with results that, more often than not, are unreadable and pretty cringe-inducing. Sorry, this is all very rambly, but it is to say: what are your personal thoughts on that? Do you write differently when writing fanfic vs original fiction, and if so, what are some of the key differences you can think of? (Besides the obvious) Is there even such a thing as a “fanfic writing style”? And would you say it’s fair to say some fanfic is actively on par with published literature? Because to me it seemed obvious until I started seeing all the online discourse around that, on both extremes. I’m very curious to get your in-depth thoughts on that, besides just reflagging a post and agreeing with its contents.

Sorry I couldn't include your whole 4-part ask, Anon friend! I didn't want to make this too long. Speaking of which, here's a readmore.

Okay. First: there's discourse about fanfic vs original fic? Again? Yaaaaawn. And to answer: I do alter my style for fanfic, mostly to match canon better. Like, in my Dragon Age fics, I try to use the same dialogue style that the games use. Cullen sounds posh, for example, and overly formal even when he's trying to be casual; Carver sounds more casual and uses more rough slang. In Mass Effect I mostly do the same, plus I sometimes use choppier narration for a militaristic, "macho" feel, again emulating the games' style of making everybody sound Extremely American and badass. Devil May Cry was more of a challenge because those games don't have a consistent dialogue/narration style to emulate, just "who translated this and were they drunk?" Instead I had to focus on character and motivations -- i.e. "Dante is always hilariously nihilistic but he really just wants a family and some peace & quiet." With Trigun I've been struggling a lot because there are three completely different canons with three completely different characterizations and narrative styles -- two of which directly contradict each other -- and then there are the six or seven different translations! I haven't really settled on a style for that fandom, but trying to blend everything is part of the fun, for me. I like a challenge.

I'm not "dumbing down" or negatively affecting my own style by doing this, I don't think. Playing with other voices, by other rules, helps me refine my own authentic voice in much the same way that improv helps actors and comedians. I think that's the case for anyone who writes fanfic, but it's probably easiest to see with the pros. Take astolat, for example. Some of her Aubrey-Maturin fanfics are more restrained than her Temeraire novels, even though the latter were inspired by the former. The restraint is because there probably weren't many dragons running around during the Napoleonic wars, and because she's sticking close to Patrick O'Brien's style on purpose. But then, in the Temeraire books, she discards these constraints, which to me is her doing the writing equivalent of this:

Then she just fucking goes ham on her readers. Kicks them in the head with one of the best alternate histories I've ever seen, rewriting colonialism from scratch and giving it a better ending. She replaces a deep human friendship with the closeness between a man and his bus-sized Chinese dragon, and it works. These are feats of literary derring-do that a lot of writers cannot emulate, and wouldn't dare try. And yet I've heard more than one reader complain that she "wastes time" on fanfic. Which to me is like complaining that Rock Lee "wastes time" wearing weights.

tl,dr; Most people who insist that fanfic is inferior lack the expertise to judge the real skill involved in making it. Doesn't stop them from opening their stupid Dunning-Kruger mouths, tho, does it.

[novelmonger]

1, 7, 13, 14

Okay, you specified FMA or LotR, but I'm gonna do both because I can and because no one else is sending asks in.

The character everyone gets wrong

FMA - I think Hawkeye may be the one most likely for people to get wrong. If I had a nickel for every time I started reading a fanfic where Hawkeye is a trigger-happy lunatic that everyone in the office lives in fear of, and/or is a strict taskmaster who is perpetually annoyed with everyone, I'd be rich. She's a very complex and layered character, but so many people don't seem willing to look any deeper than the surface of a sequence that was played for laughs, and they make that her entire personality. Never mind all the examples we have of her being gentle, being someone children feel safe enough around to share their hopes and fears, getting emotional, relaxing and joking with friends, teetering on the razor's edge of suicide.... There are so many sides to her, and it's difficult to get her right, but it's also astonishing to me just how badly some people characterize her.

LotR - There are a few contenders, but...maybe Merry? Most of the blame can be laid to the movies, I think, but a lot of people seem to take him as "the more boring but less stupid Pippin." That does him such a disservice, because when you really pay attention to him (especially in the book), there's so much more going on than being part of a comic relief duo who eventually manages to kill a Nazgul. In actuality, he's debatably the most capable all-around of the four main hobbits, and he deserves much more recognition than he gets.

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts around them?

FMA - Hmm...you know, I'm not sure I hate any of the characters, really. Even the villains are at least interesting and well-developed, so I don't mind them as far as that goes. They serve the purpose they were made for. The character I come the closest to hating would probably be Kimbley, but that's entirely for what an awful person he is in canon. I will say I find certain prevalent descriptions of characters to be annoying because everyone uses them and they stopped being amusing twenty years ago. Like saying that Envy's hair makes him look like a palm tree. I've never liked that. But Envy is actually my favorite Homunculus in the manga/Brotherhood version, so....

LotR - The Show That Shall Not Be Named is almost enough to make me dislike Galadriel. Almost. Not quite. (And I haven't even watched said show!) Faux-Galadriel is a hateful abomination that I want to kick off a cliff, and any time a fan tries to defend her, I hate her that little bit more. Real Galadriel is super cool, though. I'm hoping that my current re-read of The Silmarillion and LotR will cement the real Galadriel in my mind again. This is what happens when you butcher a character and flaunt it like you're better than the person who created the character in the first place.

13. Worst blorbofication

FMA - I'm not entirely sure I understand the term "blorbofication," but I must confess I've never understood the obsession with Greed in the fandom. Like...yeah, it's a pretty cool concept for a villain and an interesting departure from the rest of the Homunculi because he's a rebel. But I don't personally find him that likeable; he creeps me out as much as the other Homunculi, and he's more unpredictable too because he's got his own agenda going on. I appreciate his help in the fight against Father, but I don't understand why he gets so much focus by certain circles of the fandom.

LotR - This is actually really hard, because all of the characters are so good, it's like...yeah, of course that's someone's blorbo. But if I have to pick one, I think I'm actually going to go with Legolas. Not because he's a bad or uninteresting character - by no means! But I think - partly because of the way he was handled in the movies, where he's little more than a pretty face who's good at shooting things - when fans latch onto Legolas as their blorbo, they forget a lot of details that make him so much more than that. Like how sassy he is. Or how just kind of...weird he can be, as an Elf in a party of beings who are much more down-to-earth.

14. The one thing you see in fics all the time

FMA - Ohhhh, there are so many dumb things to pick from ʘ‿ʘ I mean, there are good things (or at least things with the potential to be good) that crop up a lot too, like turning a character (usually Ed or Mustang) into a chimera and the rest of the characters having to deal with it. Or there are the things you see in fics from most fandoms, like self-inserts and "my super special OC tags along with the protagonists for some reason and basically nothing changes in the plot except that the protagonist falls in love with them." But one that's more specific to FMA is the fic where Ed randomly starts singing (sometimes with the accompaniment of a piano or maybe a guitar), even though there isn't the slightest indication in canon that he has any musical ability or interest whatsoever. It's usually very emo and angsty, and almost always features a Vic Mignogna song.

LotR - Confession time: I hardly ever read LotR fics. Mostly that's because no one can write as well as Tolkien, and whether the writer attempts to or not, it's often quite jarring when you compare it to the books. (I say this as someone who is currently attempting to write an LotR fic with the full knowledge that I will never reach that pinnacle of excellence. Generally, stories centered around hobbits don't stick out to me as much as ones about, say, Elves.) Anyway, I don't think I have enough data to really point to any trends. But one thing I'm pretty confident I can say, even without having read that many fics: Too many fics are focused on shipping.

Send me more spicy asks!

[lord-squiggletits]

For the fanfic writer emoji ask: uuuuh I'm super curious about everything!!! But mainly

💖 What made you start writing?

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

💖 What made you start writing?

I read a book called Julie of the Wolves by Jean C. George for an assignment in elementary school and basically became a wolfgirl when I was like 7 years old. But, basically I became really obsessed with wolves and nature-like stuff and I decided I wanted to try writing my own stuff like that, especially since I was further influenced by stuff like the Redwall series and Tamora Pierce's The Immortals quartet and I really wanted to write my own "magical archer girl with animals as companions" stories ahahaha. You wouldn't guess it from the fact I write Transformers (science fiction) but I'm actually a fantasy writer through and through.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Already answered this in the ask right before this one, but a trope that I actually can't stand in romance fics and would never ever write is "I'm mad that the person I like is dating someone else, so I'm gonna date/have sex with this other person to try and make them jealous and want me." It's just so immature and I can't see any of my favorite characters doing that, much less it actually working.

I was thinking of saying "infidelity" but honestly, I could see myself writing an infidelity fic if it was something like "one character is in an arranged marriage with another, but they meet their true lover in secret" because I like the vibes of tragedy involved in that. But like, I would never find it appealing to write a monogamous pairing where one of them cheats on the other even if they end up working through the drama and going to therapy or whatever and staying with each other. That's just not the kind of thing I come for in my romantic fantasy fanfic :( not to mention that for the ships I write, it would be out-of-character/I'm not interested in writing for scenarios where it might be in character.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Mmmmmmm I'll give you a freebie about a fic that I haven't posted yet: I'm planning to write a silly, stupid Pharma-centric fic in which he teaches sexual education to a class of MTOs. It'll feature a lot of valveplug worldbuilding, Autobot high command being very concerned about soldiers having safe/sane sex, and the MTOs behaving similarly to teenagers giggling about their teacher saying "spike" and other similarly immature antics.

Also, Pharma accidentally awakening a sexy doctor fetish in more than a few students.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Uploading prolifically is a good way to get more subscribers/kudos/comments if you feel that getting more attention is important to you, which I won't lie, is a validating part of starting out on AO3. People will be more likely to become a "fan" of yours if they notice that you're always uploading new fics/updating multichapters. It'll make it seem as if you're an active author who can be talked to, as opposed to posting one fic and then disappearing and people wonder if maybe you already left the fandom and aren't interested in writing more or talking about it.

I wouldn't worry about posting one-shots versus multichapters, or worrying about whether it's too short or too long. Frankly, I admire people who can regularly write things <1,000 words long because I always end up making stories really long even when I intend to be short lol. Just make sure that if it's a really, really long oneshot (like... there's not really a specific rule for this, but maybe 10k words? or if your oneshot has a lot of different scenes and a convoluted plot), split the oneshot into at least two chapters. Some people's browsers don't save which part of the page they stopped reading on if the tab reloads, and I've heard many people complain about fics that didn't have chapter breaks to make it easier to save their location or take a break while reading.

If you want to get popular, it's better to post things that make you happy/entertained and create a niche for yourself than it is for you to try and write the most popular pairings/tropes/etc. Or rather, I would say that having a unique niche with a small but dedicated audience is far more rewarding than trying to pander to popularity. I kind of feel like my more niche stuff may not have as LARGE numbers as the more popular stuff, but it seems to get more comments and detailed feedback than stuff like PWPs. And the more I post niche or very specific fics that are tailored specifically to my interests, the more people who ALSO have niche tastes come out of the woodwork and go "holy shit I didn't think anyone else liked this" and we end up becoming good friends! And maybe one day your niche takes will make people notice how passionate and well thought out they are, and you can start new trends in fanon and headcanoning!

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 1 Transcript: The Earth is a Year of the Rat

[Garageband Good Omens theme song plays]

C: Hello! My name is Crystal.

G: And my name is Grey.

C: And this is Rubbish and Probably a Podcast, a Good Omens commentary podcast, where I, someone who has seen the show too many times…

G: And I, someone who only knows this show through Crystal, discuss every episode of Good Omens.

C: For today's episode, we are discussing Season 1, Episode 1: “In the Beginning.” [G cheers] What a good time!

G: It is a very good episode of a TV show. 

C: Yeah, I agree. I'm so glad you like it because I strong-armed you into doing this podcast. [G laughs]

G: You sure did. Well, I think I was mostly surprised in that- I am not an avid TV show watcher, and most of the TV shows that I do watch and like tend to have a very episodic nature, you know, like “there's a plot for one episode and it finishes up in that episode” kind of deal. So this one felt very cinematic in that it felt like a movie cutup, I guess. I don't know what the second episode is gonna be like. But it's very plot-heavy and all that crap, you know? It's pretty fun. It's new. And also it's very beautifully made. Like, it looks really good. [laughs]

C: Yeah. I mean, I think the CGI suffers in later episodes. 

G: They have a budget. 

C: But yeah, they definitely do have that Amazon money.

G: Yeah, they have that fucking Amazon Prime budget, baby. [C laughs] It's pretty good. Okay. So for the synopsis of the episode, we'll be taking the synopses from the Fandom Wiki. “This episode is about two celestial beings, the angel Aziraphale and the demon…” Crawly? [both laugh] It's Crawly, right? They pronounce it like that?

C: It’s Crawly at first, but it's Crowley now.

G: Okay. Crawly.

C: Crowley.

G: Like creepy-crawly? Crowley.

C: His name- in the Garden, his name is Crawly, and then he transgenderly changes it to Crowley later. So if you don't wanna deadname him, you should call him Crowley. [G laughs]

G: Crowley. God. Okay. “-have gone native and worry when their superiors tell them to prepare the Antichrist for Armageddon. They resolve to secretly join forces to make sure the Antichrist is neither good nor evil... unaware that there was an unwitting switch made and the Antichrist isn't who they think.” This is a really fun episode!

C: It is. I really like how much it clearly comes from a book. Like, lot of the God narration bits are just lifted wholesale from the book.

G: Yeah!

C: And I feel like it brings the structure together very well in a way that we don't get in Season 2.

G: I knew that it was from a book, but I would say that it does obviously come from a specific narration style, or whatever. But, I mean, I haven't read the book, so I don't know how true this is- it does feel a little bit like the visuals do add a lot to the story.

C: Yeah. Yeah. I really appreciated the cards visual. I feel like some people will think, “That's too much, I’m not that stupid.” But the thing is, I am that stupid. [G laughs] And I appreciate knowing how the mix-up happened.

G: I also quite like how funny it is.

C: Yeah.

G: It's so funny! It's a very funny episode in what I assume is a comedic show.

C: Yeah, and a funny book.

G: I mean, the thing about a lot of media that takes from Bible stuff is they kind of go both ways. You know, some of them can be “taking the piss out of the Bible” kind of thing, and the other side is kind of like, “take it super seriously it's unreal.”

C: Yeah.

G: I feel like this one is like, it's funny, it strikes the balance. And I'm not gonna be like, “But it respects the Bible!” like, I really do not give a shit. [C laughs] But it has a sense of being tethered to the concepts that appeal to me a lot. 

C: Mm.

-

G: So, the intro of the show is very narrative-focused; I mean, the narration is the focus of the entire bit, and they’re talking mostly about how the world and the universe is formed. 

C: Basically we have these sort of very fun graphics that are like Bill Nye mixed with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as a voice narrates, and it talks about a few theories regarding the creation of the universe, and then says that the Earth was actually created about 6,000 years ago. 4004 BC, at 9:13 AM. The voice then goes like, “This proves that God does not play dice with the universe. I play an ineffable game of my own devising.” Which immediately is- I remember this being a fun moment when I first watched the show, like, what a cheeky little reveal that the narrator is God. And then it says that the Earth is a Libra.

G: I know, I thought that was funny as hell!

C: It's quite funny. It has also incited- there's a lot of people who like to argue about what zodiac signs Crowley and Aziraphale have, and I think there's a school of thought that's like, "They have to be Libras, because that's when the Earth was created."

G: The Earth was created, yeah.

C: Yeah, which I understand. But also, they existed before the Earth was created. And I mean, I don't have an opinion on zodiac personalities, but like, for everyone out there, yeah. Glad that you have a line to back you up.

G: [laughs] The thing about me is, I do not give a single shit about Scorpio or Libra or whatever, but I care so so deeply about what year in the Chinese calendar you were born. 

C: Oh, yeah! Wait fuck, what's 4004 BC, what animal is that? [G laughs] 

G: Let’s look it up, baby.

C: Okay, okay. Let's do- okay. If we add- [sped up audio of C calculating] God, I don't know math anymore. This is disgusting.

G: It’s because you already did well in your GRE. 

C: It's true. I did well in my GRE and then I decided that I was gonna forget everything in the entire world. Okay, so 2020 is 4 mod 12- [sped up audio of C calculating] -was the Year of the Rat. 

G: Oh my god!

C: The earth is a fucking rat. 

G: I love it. 

C: Wait, that works so well! It's the first one! Like, the rat won the race! [G laughs]

G: That’s wonderful. 

C: It literally is the first one! Fuck yeah, okay. Thanks, Neil Gaiman. That's something I won't say often.

G: Thank you Neil. [laughs]

C: You know what, maybe that was Terry Pratchett. Thanks, Terry Pratchett. 

G: I'm sure that the Chinese zodiac was very deeply entrenched-

C: -was heavily consulted, yes- [laughs]

G: -into their writing.

C: - when they decided this. Yeah. My grandpa's a rat. Who are the rats in your life?

G: My parents are. [laughs]

C: Oh my god, both of them? What a win! 

G: Yes, they were in the beginning.

After the whole Libra bit, which I thought was the most amusing thing in the world, and has made me decide immediately that this is going to be a fun show-

C: Hell yeah. 

G: -they introduce Adam and Eve. I mean, not introduce, they show them, and they're like, out there in the world, in the garden of Eden. And we finally see Crowley as a snake slithering on that garden.

C: Yes, fun fact about his snake form is that he is a red-bellied black snake, which is a species that originates from Australia. Society if Crowley had an Australian accent. 

G: [in an Australian accent] Oi there, mate. [laughs]

C: Exactly, exactly, just like Robert Chase. 

G: They're just like Robert Chase!

C: And a thing about the red-bellied black snake is that they're not aggressive, they generally stay away from humans, and that even though they are venomous, there've been no recorded deaths from someone being bitten by one of them. And I feel like that's so Crowley, because as we learn later, he doesn't like tempting directly, he tries to do things that spread out small amounts of harm over a bunch of different people. So like, you're right, no deaths have been recorded from his bite. Saur fucking true. This was probably just chosen because of the color scheme, which is a fun color scheme. But you know, fun that the snake personality fits.

G: Also, can I say that, for some reason I always assumed- because you told me in the past that Crowley always wears sunglasses to hide the snake eyes, or whatever-

C: Did you think that they were red? 'Cause of Supernatural?

G: -and I always assumed they were red, yes! Are they ever red?

C: No.

G: Is that just a Supernatural thing that I just applied to this show?

C: That's just a Supernatural thing. Fucking Cr-ow-ley Supernatural has red eyes, but he's a disgusting thing that is not fit to touch my boy. [laughs]

G: Okay, yeah, so Crowley has-

C: He's probably fine, I haven’t even met him on the show yet. 

G: I love the look of Crowley, and I love the way it changes through the years.

C: Yes! Yes, he's a very fashionable little guy.

G: Yeah! The hair change when he was a nanny, I thought it was wonderful! I thought it was amazing. And also the way- Aziraphale’s actor is called Michael Sheen. Am I correct? 

C: Yes. Yes.

G: And Crowley is David Tennant. 

C: Wait, have you had a- have you ever encountered David Tennant before? You were not a Doctor Who person.

G: Nope. Soon I will be a Midsummer Night's Dream- no, no, it’s Much Ado. [laughs]

C: No! Much Ado About Nothing! Yeah. Okay, yeah.

I've been badgering Grey to watch the Tennant and Tate Much Ado for a long time and these efforts manifested in rewriting the entire script of the play to suit Supernatural characters-

G: [laughs] Which I did not read at all!

C: -and sending them to him half a scene at a time every day for a month, and he didn't read any of it. But you know what, I had fun.

G: Yes, that's what's important. I think the way they both act is- especially, I think, David Tennant, because a thing that I know about this show as well is that you really, really, really like Crowley.

C: Yeah. [laughs] I want to be him so bad. 

G: And I can see why, because it's like, you know, the fun charismatic guy.

C: Yeah, who's also a giant loser and flop.

G: Yeah! I don't know. Towards the end, when he was like, “Oh, the dog isn't here,” and then, you know, he gets a call from Hell, and he was like, “Oh, no, no, no! The dog is here! Never mind!”

C: Right. "Great, big helly hound."

G: It’s a good bit of characterization. [laughs] Yeah. It's super fun. And he is wonderful!

C: Yeah. 

-

C: So right, we see him tempt Eve, who then passes the apple onto Adam, and right, what he says is, “This apple will give you…” And then it sort of blanks out. What did Bible Snake say to Eve again?

G: I think it's knowledge. Right?

C: Yeah, yeah. That tracks. A few things about the theology or whatever here, I feel like this skips over the most important parts of Genesis where God yells at them and casts them out and curses the snake or whatever the fuck to focus on Crowley and Aziraphale, which I think is fun. 

G: [laughs] Yeah, this is more important.

C: [laughs] Yeah, this is the important part! Specifically, I feel like I often forget how this part of Genesis ends with the line, “After he drove the man out, he placed on the East side of the Garden of Eden cherubim, and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the Tree of Life.” That is not a line that I remember. But I just really like the idea that someone read this and was like, “Okay, there's two nonhuman characters in here. There's the serpent, and there's this unnamed angel with a flaming sword. And we've decided that they're besties, and that these two nonhuman characters, who have sort of created humanity as we know it by doing the apple temptation and then guarding the tree afterwards, that they're gonna stay on Earth for thousands of years and like it there, and also be besties, and in love.” Like, it's so fun!

G: Yeah! To skip over to the conversation that they're having, basically, there's an introduction between them. And Crowley’s-

C: Oh wait, I also want to talk about how Crowley created misogyny. [laughs]

G: Why? Go on. 

C: Okay. The thing about this is that, Crowley invented misogyny? [laughs] Like that’s on him. [both laugh] Like she did that, that was her. In that- I feel like I was not there when various people came up with and spread the version of Genesis that we know now. But my assumption and I think the assumption of scholars in general is people were sexist, so then they wrote Eve being born from Adam-

G: Oh, yeah, of course. 

C: - and taking the apple first. But in this world where all of this happened, misogyny actually happened because this happened, like, it's a different direction. And why did this happen? Cause Crowley fucking created misogyny. [both laugh] God. This is on them soo hard. I wonder if they ever think about that? Probably not.

So right, now we get the first meeting.

G: Yeah. So the first meeting is, they're talking, they introduce themselves to each other, and Crowley says that he doesn't know why- he think that giving the apple is that bad.

C: Yeah, and that God super overreacted.

G: Yeah. And Aziraphale is like, “Well, it must be bad, cause you did it, and you're a demon,” and he's like, “Well. Whatevs,” [laughs] and then we also find out that Aziraphale gave his flaming sword to Adam and Eve, so as to fucking help them out. Which I thought was- it's such a nice introduction to his character that "There is this duty which was thrust upon me, which was to have this sword, this flaming sword," [C laughs] and he just gave it away because it might help these two. I don’t know, I thought it was real sweet.

C: Yeah, it’s a really good moment. 'Cause it's like, you think that he's just a rule stickler or whatever or that he doesn’t think for himself.

G: Yeah. C: But it's like, no, he has very strong compassion, and he acts on that, and then afterwards, he just has to justify it to himself, or hide it in some way, and Crowley is the one who draws it out of him, that like, “Hey, all the shit you were saying earlier about good and evil. So how does that stack up with how you actually feel, huh, bud?”

G: And they have this exchange of like, “Well, what if what I, the angel, did was actually bad? And what you, the demon, did was actually good? Wouldn’t it be so funny if we both got it wrong?” And then it starts raining, and I suppose this is an important scene, because you have talked about it. [C laughs] But Aziraphale lifts his wing so as to cover Crowley’s head as it rains.

C: Yeah, it's the first rainstorm of the new world, and it's- I'm just so stuck on how Crowley edges closer to Aziraphale and leans into him even before he lifts the wing, and I know it's probably just 'cause we don't hear them talking and discussing it beforehand, but I just like the idea that they're already comfortable enough with each other that they're like, “Hey, you'll protect me, right?” And it is important to note that this is not in the book or the original 2015 draft of the show. Like, Neil Gaiman added that in later, because he wanted to either bait or longcon, and [laughs] I support that.

G: I quite like the kind of conflict that they have here. It's not that "you're evil and I'm good." It's that "you are a vessel of evil, and I'm a vessel of good, but we fundamentally as beings are neither of those things." It’s never about them as beings, you know? It's always the things that they do as instructed to them by their respective bosses.

C: Yeah, but they also do still- at least, Aziraphale still does fall back into the prescriptive cause and effect getting them mixed up sort of thing. Like, Crowley is being sarcastic when he's like, “Oh, you're an angel. I don't think you can do the wrong thing.” But Aziraphale feels like, “Oh, thank god. You're right.” [both laugh]

G: Also, something I find completely fascinating is, throughout the- obviously, this is important to them, but there are a lot of times in the episode where it is just a job, you know? It's just work. Like, for example, when they were talking about the thing that they had lunch for in Paris a while back that Crowley has to make up for or whatever; Aziraphale has to make up for, they go, “What was that about?" "I don't know. But they had amazing crepes!” [C laughs] And it's like, oh, that's amazing. They don't even remember what they were doing. It literally is just a job. 

C: They're just like me reading Gomens fic while in the office. 

G: [laughs] Exactly.

C: Yeah. I make a penny, boss makes a dime, that's why I eat crepes on company time, etc. I think this is also where I think- we mentioned the casting a bit earlier, and like, okay, I think they're both great, I do have a small bone to pick, which is that white people weren't invented yet. Why are they white? Just take them away. [G laughs]

G: No, for real though, most people in this episode are white. 

C: They didn't have white people yet. Right, first, if humans were made in the image of God and Adam and Eve are Black, but Francis McDormand, who narrates as God, is not. Like, I know that evolution didn't happen in this world because it's only 6,000 years old. But I do like the fact that white people weren't here until later because of white being considered default in the country that has a monopoly on international culture a lot of time and stuff, so I don't know. I wish they weren't white, 'cause I don't think they had white people yet.

And I guess another thing about this scene is that I feel like it starts establishing the differences between book and show Aziraphale in that, you know, Crowley is like, “Oh, wouldn't it be funny if we did the thing we weren't supposed to do?” And Aziraphale’s laughing a bit, and then he goes like, “No! It wouldn't be funny at all!” [G laughs] And I think show Aziraphale’s is just- he's a bit more nervous and like- I don't wanna say ditzy, but kind of [laughs] than book Aziraphale, who seems a lot more assured of himself, even if he is a giant hypocrite lying to himself all the time. And I don't think it's a bad choice, I have fun seeing Michael Sheen do what he does, but sometimes I do wish that Aziraphale was a little more of a badass.

-

C: We have the opening credits. Which, did you skip those, or did you watch them?

G: I watched it. I suppose I didn't understand it the way you did. So go on.

C: Oh, I mean, there's not that much to say. It's just fun art and then details about things that are gonna happen during the season. We get the theme song. What did you think about the theme song?

G: I mean, I'm familiar with it because this is- I was gonna say "spoiler!" but it's not a spoiler [C laughs], you guys already heard it. It's the intro to our podcast.

C: Yes.

G: Our intro music is a variation of the Gomens intro.

C: Yeah, it's a GarageBand redo/remake of the theme song. 

G: Yeah. 

C: What did you describe as when I first sent it to you from our lovely composer? 

G: It sounds very much like something that would come out of Ace Attorney. [C laughs] I thought it was really fun. I love Ace Attorney music. And I love this tremendously.

C: Yeah, yeah, I think it's a very fun time. And someone on Tumblr recently pointed out that it's a waltz, which I think is fun. Sadly our beautiful, wonderful composer also pointed out to me when she was making it, she was like, “I thought it sounded kinda like the BBC Sherlock theme song. So I looked it up, and it is the same composer." So now it is forever tainted for me because of that. But it's still a very fun time.

G: Maybe it's just the British sound, have you considered that? [both laugh]

C: Yeah, it’s still the same guy, though. We can't forget that. Very sad. Oh well.

So we cut to a graveyard where we meet two other demons. Oh, first of all, we cut to a graveyard. It's 11 years ago, so like, 2008. Or, I guess, 2007, because later we find out that Bush is still president. We meet two other demons, Hastur and Ligur. And Hastur and Ligur both- Like, Hastur has- his animal motif is maggots, and he has completely black eyes, and his hair is messed up and stuff, and Ligur has a chameleon on his head. I think they both have fun character designs. I mean, they're talking to each other a bit about how Crowley is late for a meeting with both of them, and that he's changed his name from Crawly to Crowley, and they think that he's spent too much time up on Earth, blah blah blah, and then-

G: I mean, the way he's introduced, in the scene where it's like-

C: [laughs] We hear a car, we hear Bohemian Rhapsody's “mamma mia mamma mia” part blasting, and Crowley just swerves into the graveyard.

G: I love it!

C: And this is such a cute “where are they now” thing. Like, we just saw him and now he's here being a flash bastard! And such a fun little guy. He comes out. He's swaggering. He is doing the David Tennant slut walk, as the girlies like to call it, I think?

G: [laughs] I love it. 

C: Which I think is a character choice given that Crowley's original form was a snake, or whatever, and, you know, it's much appreciated. And you know, the demons are all like, “hail Satan, hail Satan.” But then Crowley, who is also a demon, just goes, [both] “Hi guys.” [both laugh] 

G: [laughing] It’s so funny!

C: And like, “Sorry I'm late, you know how traffic is on the blah blah blah. And I tried to cut up towards blah,” and it's like, I don't know. It's very, very fun. Immediately establishes he is literally just a guy living on Earth with a few extra powers. They have to recount their deeds of the day. So both Hastur and Ligur have deeds that are very-

G: traditional-

C: - medieval-

G: - deeds, you know. [laughs] Yeah. You can fucking see these kinds of deeds in 1610 Bavaria or whatever. [C laughs] Like, “I tempted a priest.”

C: “He saw hot girl and went awooga.”

G: “There's a politician. And then we made him take a bribe. In a year, we will have him.” And like, it's the same line, “In a year we will have him.” And Crowley is just like, “I fucking destroyed the [both laugh] cell towers around London. So now no one can call each other.” 

C: Yeah. God, so good. There's a missing scene which I think was actually originally filmed wherein- or maybe it's just in the script, but it was supposed to show how he did that, and how he did that was that he got into one of the phone company whatever buildings, and then he commandeered an army of rats to wreck all the equipment. [G laughs] And they probably didn't have the CGI budget for it, but I feel cheated and robbed that I didn't get to see him do that. 

G: And he was able to do it because he may or may not be from the Year of the Rat. This is so true.

C: So true.

G: I love that when he said this, he was kind of expecting applause or amazement-

C: Oh, yeah.

G: - and the guys were just like, “Okay.” [laughs]

C: Right, like, "What's that supposed to do?"

G: Yeah, he was like, “Oh, it's gonna sow the seeds of chaos, and in many many years, we’ll have many many more souls.”

C: And what he likes about it is that everything- everyone being angry at each other and doing bad things as a result is something that they'll think of themselves rather than something that he had to really strong-arm them into.

G: Influence, yeah.

C: Yeah. It's about preserving free will sort of, but also creating an environment where it is difficult to be a good person. And, I mean, yeah, he is bragging a lot. He's like, “Hey, no one in Hell is complaining about my methods. They love me down there.” [G laughs] What a fun fucking guy. Also, I like that- in the book, he's described as a young man. And in the upcoming graphic novel, he's supposed to look 24. But they cast David Tennant, who's like, 50 in this role. So now he has that “aging rockstar loser dad who's going through a midlife crisis” kind of vibe instead, which is very fun paired with his “attempting to be cool” vibes.

G: Yeah. I also like the idea that now that we are in a more modern age, with more modern technology, evil manifests in more modern ways as well. And I don't know, I really love that concept.

C: Right, like, before, you really did have to go up to priests and whisper in their ear. But you know what? We're good now, just post a really bad take on Tumblr, and three people will yell at their partners today. 

G: Anyway, he gets given a little baby in a basket. 

C: We don't know it's a baby yet, but he does get given a menacing basket. He is not happy. 

G: And I love how in the beginning of the scene, he's like, “Oh, you guys just don't get it. They love me down there,” and then like, when it becomes obvious that he is to start Armageddon, and he is not too amused by the idea, and he's like, “Why me?” [C laughs] And they’re like, “They love you down there,” And then it's revealed later that he's been fucking lying to Hell. [both laugh] That’s why they love him so much. They think he started the Spanish Inquisition and World War II. [laughs] Literally it’s just a job, and he’s just fucking lying to his boss. 

C: In the book he doesn’t even lie. He gets sent a medal that's like, “Thank you for starting the Spanish Inquisition” 'cause they assumed he did it [G laughs], and he was like, “What the fuck is that?” And he went over and he saw it, and then he had to get drunk in a gutter for two weeks, 'cause it made him so upset.

G: Noooo!

C: Yeah, he's my favorite little girl. Love him. He goes, “Guys, it’s not really my scene” when he's given the basket, and Hastur says, “It's your scene, your starring role,” which I think is a fun thing to think about when, I don't know, I just like that phrase because I like how both Crowley and Aziraphale’s lives are so much play-acting, which I also think is very queer, but I guess we'll get into that later.

G:  Is this the one where he tries to call Crowley, and it's- when he tries to call Aziraphale, and there's no lines 'cause he destroyed the cell phone towers, or is that later? 

C: [laughs] Yeah, he can’t call him on the phone. That's later.

G: Yeah. But that's real funny. The callback to that I thought was fucking hilarious.

C: Oh yeah, wait, also, something that I’m so sad that they took out is, they ask him to sign a contract-

G: Oh, they do, yeah.

C: Right, and then he just signs it with a sigil using hellfire from his tongue or whatever. But in the book, at first, he takes out a nice fancy waterproof pen, and he signs the name that he goes by, Anthony J. Crowley, and they go, “No, don't do that. Put down your real name,” and then he has to change it to the demonic sigil, or whatever. Like, they took out that trans moment. And I wanted that trans moment. Give me the trans moment back.

G: For real. And then we meet Jon Hamm, who is so important to me. 

C: Oh, well, first Satan calls him in the car.

G: Yeah, but who give a shit, we meet Jon Hamm after! But yeah, Satan calls him in the car.

C: Which establishes that Hell communicates with him through his radio and other things. And in the car it's also when it gets revealed that what’s in the basket is a baby. The whole time when he's in the car, he's yelling, “Shit shit shit shit shit. Why me?” Which I think is- because I'm so used to Supernatural, I was like, “Oh my god, they can swear on this show?” [G laughs] So it was very fun that he didn't have to say “friggin’.” And we also get a God narration moment, where She says, “Crowley was all in favor of Armageddon in general terms. But it was one thing to work to bring it about and quite another for it to actually happen.” Which I think is an interesting insight into his psyche, where we do see him questioning things a lot in the opening scene, but also a lot of the times, he is just vibing and trying not to think too much about his job, and the thing that bothers him more than the Earth ending I feel like is him being directly responsible for it.

G: As you've said earlier, he's not a killer. He doesn't do it directly. He's more of a “I'm going to be a silly, goofy guy, and then if there's stuff that happens because of it, then so it be, so it is.”

C: Yeah.

G: So like, I guess this is kind of out of his league, where he has to directly do things for a concrete goal.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fun fact about book Crowley is that one of his demonic deeds that he does is he just takes coins and he glues them to the sidewalk, so people bend down to pick them up, and then they can't get them off, and he’s like, “That's my doing evil for the day. I did it.”

G: Love that. Has has the concept of evil of a nine-year-old boy.

C: [laughs] Exactly. 

-

C: Okay, we meet Jon Hamm. [G laughs] You can finally say it. 

G: We meet Jon Hamm, and he's Gabriel! He's the angel Gabriel. 

C: Wait, what do you know Jon Hamm from? I have no clue who this guy is.

G: I just know him fundamentally as a person, you know?

C: You would know him by the- what’s the Song of Achilles line?

G: [laughs] No, exactly. He is my Achilles. Yeah, I just know him.

C: What was he in?

G: Who doesn’t know Jon Hamm?

C: Me! What was he even in besides Good Omens? 

G: I think he was in- well, I knew him before this, but he's definitely in an episode of Black Mirror, I think. 

C: Oh, okay, I haven't seen that.

G: And then, I think Jon Hamm is just one of those guys who like- do you know Brad Pitt from anywhere? Even if you haven't watched a movie or anything with Brad Pitt in it, you just know who Brad Pitt is, you know. 

C: That's true. I've never seen anything with Brad Pitt in it.

C: Yeah, that's fair. I mean, people do act like he’s famous.

G: Yeah. And you know what, fun fact, Crystal knows this, but when I was first being exposed to Good Omens through Crystal means, I looked up Aziraphale and Crowley on YouTube, and what showed up is an interview between David Tennant and Jon Hamm, [laughing] and I thought Jon Hamm was Aziraphale. I love that.

C: How long did you think that Jon Hamm was Aziraphale?

G: I mean, for a second, I was like, “Whoa, is Jon Hamm Aziraphale?” And then I continued scrolling. He's not!

C: Yeah. He is not, thank God. 

G: Yeah. 

C: I’m so glad Michael Sheen’s in this, I haven’t seen him in anything else but like, thank god. 

G: This scene is very, again, telling of how Aziraphale is different from other angels, which, I think we are supposed to presume that angels are more like Gabriel than Aziraphale. But they're in a sushi place, and Aziraphale is talking about how the sushi’s good, and he really likes it, and you can dip it in soy sauce!

C: Yeah, and at this, I saved the Tumblr URL soysauceaziraphale to go with my Supernatural blog URL. I don't think I'm gonna use it, but it's nice to have.

G: It's nice to have, exactly. Anyway, Gabriel doesn't like this. He thinks it's nasty to “soil your temple,” or however he puts it.

C: Yes, sully the temple of my-

G: Your celestial body.

C: -with gross matter, yeah.

G: Yeah. And he relays that the end is near, and things are afoot. You know, I've only heard the word “afoot” used in Sherlock Holmes context. 

C: Yeah, same. 

G: I am beginning to think that maybe British people just say it.

C: Maybe! Though, I mean, Gabriel's American. 

G: [laughs] This is true. 

C: It’s very funny. 

G: You know, when you put them together in a room, I cannot recognize the difference between an American and a British accent. It also is revealed here that Heaven, and I presume Hell, also thinks that Crowley and Aziraphale-

C: Have never met or talked to each other. 

G: - don’t know each other? Yeah, exactly. Which is very fascinating to hear, because I think this knowledge barrier sets a kind of fallibility with the angels and demons, where it's like, they don't know everything, 'cause they don't even know this, and that makes the later happenings with Adam and Warlock a lot more believable. 'Cause, you know, "how did they just not know that the kids were exchanged?" And it's because they're not all-knowing, and they don't see everything. This is a good handicap, in a way, for the angels and the demons where- 'cause I feel like in a lot of media, it's like, "They have all the power!" But here, they are very explicit, "This is the limits of their power. They don't know everything."

C: Yeah. I really like just the way that the angels and demons operate in these opening scenes. Like, in the book, Gabriel doesn't exist, and Heaven never interacts directly with Aziraphale. So it does feel more like a panopticon, “they're probably just always watching, so you'd better watch out” sort of thing. But here, it really is just like, "No, they aren't always watching, but also, they can pop up whenever, so you always do have to be afraid. You always have to have an excuse, or somewhere to hide, but you can also do your own thing." And it is exactly like living in a house with your parents while you're closeted and gay, I think. [laughs]

G: No, for fucking real.

C: Yeah, like, when you don't have a lock on your door, it's like, “Okay, I can be on Tumblr looking at girls kissing, or whatever, when I want. But also I always need to have a homework tab open on another window, and know the laptop keyboard shortcut to get there, and blah blah blah blah." I don't know, I like it. I like it a lot. It's very queer to me. And I also like that with the demons, it was a preset meeting.

G: Yeah.

C: They couldn't do anything about Crowley being late. If he just didn't show up at all, they'd probably track him down. But at least they give you warning. Heaven just popping in whenever feels very much like the NSA's whole like, “well, if you have nothing to hide, then what's wrong with us looking at you whenever we want?” thing.

-

G: We go to the plot. And the plot is there's two women giving birth, and one of them is a normal British couple, and the other is a fucking ambassador.

C: Yeah, played by Nick Offerman. 

G: American ambassador, yeah, or whatever, American diplomat. Oh my god, I love this scene so much! We enter a convent, and there's a bunch of nuns.

C: Yes. A Satanic convent.

G: Yeah! And they call themselves the Chattering Order. And I was like, “The Chattering Order. That's a funny thing to say.” And then later, when they're arguing with a demon, they're talking and talking and talking, and the demon’s like, “Stop talking. You're so annoying,” and they're like, “We’re the Chattering Order. All we do is talk.” [laughs] And I love that so much, I think that this is such a fun concept, that they have evil evil nuns. 

C: And I think in the book they make up a saint who prayed to not have to marry a pagan, so then God or someone- Satan or someone?- gave her powers, so that she could never stop talking, and it annoyed her husband so much that they never had to consummate the marriage, or something. Which feels - from two men - sort of feels like a “Women, am I right?” kind of joke?

G: [laughs] Yeah.

C: But it is still kind of fun to see in motion.

G: We figure out that this is where the baby swap is gonna happen. And it's, you know, it's a whole thing. They're planning it out. A couple of things go wrong. Stuff gets mixed up. And suddenly- well, the Satanic baby is supposed to go to the rich couple, but it ends up on the hands of the other couple. But nobody knows that this went wrong. Everybody just assumes that everybody did the right thing, and nobody double checks with anyone. 

C: Specifically, yeah, where the wrong really happens- well, first, Crowley meets Mr. Young, who's the normal British guy outside, and he directs Crowley to Room 3 for the baby. So that's where the baby gets taken. And then a nun who knows that the baby is with the wrong person comes in, asks the other nun nonverbally, “Okay, like, where's the real baby? So I can take the real Antichrist to the American couple?”

G: The other room. Yeah. 

C: Yeah, but that nun misunderstands and thinks that the extraneous baby is the one that is to be pointed out. And fun book fact is that in the book, Mr. Young is homophobic and he’s nervous about being in the nunnery because he's like, “I recently watched a movie where the nuns were lesbians, and I'm worried that the nuns here are icky lesbians also.” And then, when he sees the nonverbal communication that ends in a wink, he goes, “Oh, god, they are lesbians.” 

G: [laughs] Jesus Christ. 

C: And I think this is just- you know how I complained for weeks and weeks on Peach about how the book is just obsessed with making gay jokes while also not letting a single character actually be gay? So yeah, there's an example of that.

I don't even know what they were going with. Was it just like a, we want to satirize people having a pink scare moment or whatever by being like, "Everyone thinks everyone is gay for certain behaviors, but it's not"? But if you do it in a way that's like, “You're being silly, 'cause there's no gay people anywhere anyway,” [laughs] like, shut up?

G: Yeah.

C: Shut the fuck up! Anyway. So yeah, that's that scene. And I don't know, there's some fun moments where the God narrator is trying to explain how the swap happened through playing cards. And then at some point one of the nuns runs into Room 2, and it turns out that the visual of the cards being shuffled that we saw was actually just two nuns chilling and playing cards by themselves in that room. Like, I don't know, some fun visual gags. And it ends with the nuns wheeling out the third baby, the Dowling's biological baby while menacing music plays, and there's a narration about how, “Oh, if you want, you can believe that he got adopted by a perfectly nice family, and he probably wins awards for his tropical fish. But, you know.” But in the book, actually, that does happen, and this third baby grows up to be named Greasy Johnson, and he is one of Adam's rivals in the village, like, he has a rival gang to the Them. But this does not manifest in the show, which is sad, 'cause that was fun. Oh, also, the nuns are trying to suggest names to both of the parents.

G: [laughs] Yeah!

C: 'Cause they’re like, “We want a good Antichrist name,” and both of them are like, “Hey, how about Damian?” [both laugh] And, god, okay, Harriet Dowling- I know this happened because- okay, the thing with Harriet Dowling and the American ambassador is that he's not there for the birth because he's with the President, he's with President Bush right now, and he's just watching everything on video camera and being a neglectful husband or whatever. So she gets the baby. And she's like, “Well, we were gonna name him Thaddeus after my husband, and also his dad, and his dad before that. But like, oh, you want me to name him Warlock? Yeah, sure, let's do that.” [both laugh] I feel like, this is- who the fuck would willingly name their kid Warlock? But I think it's because she's mad at her husband. And you know what, slay. That kid got the coolest name out of anyone.

G: That kid grew up, and everybody he interacted with thought he was transgender. [both laugh]

C: God, for fucking real. Good for him.

G: Yeah. Good for him.

C: And meanwhile, Mr. Young gets convinced to name the Antichrist Adam.

G: Adam, which is a good, cool name. I like the name Adam. Is Damian supposed to be because it sounds like “demon”?

C: Yeah, I think that is maybe the origin of the name. Let me look up “Damian name origin.” [typing] Okay, yeah it sounds like "demon," but apparently it means “to subdue.” So like, that makes sense for a future ruler of a broken world, or whatever.

G: Yeah. Anyway, Crowley and Aziraphale meet. They meet in St James’s Park, and there's this-

C: Well, first we see Aziraphale in his book shop, which is important to me.

G: Okay, I supposed this is important because you mentioned it a lot in your synopsis of Season 2 that I may or may not have listened to fully.

C: I mean, we'll see the bookshop later, but-

G: Yeah, they kiss here.

C: Yeah, they sure do. 

G: [laughs] Quote unquote.

C: One of them kisses the other one, and whether the other one is also kissing the other one is up for debate. I've been swayed to the “they are both kissing each other” side a little bit more recently. But anyway. So yeah, we see a moment of Aziraphale in his bookshop, and he's just being so cute. He has a vinyl of classical music on, and he's sort of moving/singing to the beat as he puts his jacket up on a hook, and we get a good look at his waistcoat, which is tatty and old, that he wears everywhere all the time, which is so autism of him. Love that for him.

G: I like that they, a lot more than Crowley, they make Aziraphale very into like, pleasure, you know? He likes food, he likes very nice champagne, you know, all that stuff. Because I suppose the stereotypical thing to do is to give those traits to the demon, the hedonistic traits to the demon, but he has this appreciation for these things. And I like that. I think that's a very cool trait to have, to give an angel.

C: I agree. I wonder if it's just like, if inspiring lust and sloth and stuff is already part of your job, maybe it's not fun anymore by yourself. [laughs] I mean, I think Crowley has his own ways of indulging, like his silly vintage car, and his clothes that he updates every year or whatever. But yeah, he doesn’t really indulge in the pleasures of the flesh a lot, it's more just like a “how do I look cool and seem cool.”

That's when Crowley finally is able to call Aziraphale, he's unable to do it over the phone line, so he ends up in a phone booth, which I love. And they have a brief conversation where- well, Gabriel specifically told Aziraphale, "Crowley is the one who's starting Armageddon, by the way," and they have a conversation where Aziraphale is like, “Yeah, we do have to talk.” Well, okay. First, he starts by saying, “We're closed,” which is, I mean, a fun Aziraphale trait is that he owns a bookshop, but he hates selling his books, 'cause he likes all of them, so he does everything he can to dissuade customers from buying any.

G: [laughs] That's so real of him.

C: So this is the beginning of that. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, they have a conversation where it's just like, “We should talk. Yeah, this is about Armageddon." "Yeah, I agree, we should talk.” And I like that- Crowley does the job first 'cause he has to, or else he gets tortured or whatever the fuck, right? So he doesn't try to not give the baby away. It's just like, “Okay, I've complied with my part. And now let me do my own thing to make it not work.” And I also like that Aziraphale's never called Crowley and tried to stop him from setting the first piece into motion. Both of them are aware of, like, “Okay, there are limits to what we can do independently. But here we are. Let's talk.”

G: They’re in St James’s Park. And the narrator does this pretty funny bit where it's like, “Yeah, everybody who meets here is meeting in secret in some way, and the ducks have a Pavlovian response to FBI agents now [laughs] when one comes in just to starts quacking for bread." I love that.

C: Also we get a good look at Crowley’s full outfit. And did you notice that his belt is a snake ouroboros thing?

G: No, but that’s pretty cool.

C: Yeah, I can send you the picture given that you obviously care so much about everything. [G laughs]

G: Also, we learn here that this is their usual meeting place. They've done this a lot, and that this is the first mention of the Apocalypse being 11 years in the making.

Oh that’s pretty cool! I would love a belt like that.

C: Yeah, I love the costumes in this show, it’s so fun. I love Crowley's layers, he looks so fucking transgender right now. He has a gray shirt on, and then a black waistcoat on, and then a black blazer on over that, I don't know. That's pretty much identical to the outfit that I wanted to do for prom one year.

G: Okay. Why does Crowley not want the Apocalypse to happen?

C: Well, I mean, what we get from the God narration earlier is just that he doesn't want to do it directly, but I think he seems to have a love for humanity. He's clearly gone native or whatever, right? He talks like someone who complains about the traffic with other people, you know? And we don't actually meet any human friends of his here or really in the book, but I feel like he does have like-

G: I think it really is less about liking humanity for other humans. It's like, he likes to be this way. He likes being here on Earth, you know. And if the Apocalypse is to happen, then all of these things are just gone. And I think it's fascinating, because even though this is not explicitly said about him, the way he approaches Aziraphale, it’s the same concept. He thinks it's gonna work on Aziraphale, 'cause it probably is his thought process as well. To Aziraphale it's like, “Oh, they don't have liquor in heaven. They don't-” And then he also mentions eternity, which I thought was fascinating. They both don't like the idea of everything being endless. 

C: Yeah. I mean, I feel like his approach for Aziraphale is Aziraphale-tailored rather than necessarily something that he thinks himself, that he's just trying on Aziraphale. He is just listing things that Aziraphale likes. But yeah, I do think just liking being on Earth is a primary thing. Also, can we talk a bit about how they're sitting on the bench?

G: [laughs] Okay. 

C: The thing is, they are sitting on the farthest possible edges of the bench from each other in that if you look at where their butts are [laughs], they’re on opposite ends. But because of Crowley's posture, he's leaning all the way-

G: Taking up half the bench, yeah.

C: Yeah, taking up half the bench and leaning all the way towards Aziraphale so that his elbow is just on the brink of brushing Azeraphel's shoulder as he talks to him, and I don't know. It's a fun visual representation of “we have to stay rooted to our sides. But I am going to make my way over to you in the ways that I can.”

G: Aww, that's nice.

C: Yeah, yeah. They make me craaazy. [laughs] And the fact that Aziraphale’s just sitting there with his hands in his lap, like, “I can't do anything.”

-

G: They go to the fucking bookshop, and this is where the conversation happens.

C: They go to the Ritz- well, they're walking to the car and have that conversation. Then they go to the Ritz, and then they go to the bookshop to get drunk, but yeah. I think a fun- they have a conversation, and, you know, Crowley is doing the tempting thing to try to get Aziraphale to help him out. Well, okay, first we get Aziraphale bitchy moment where he's like, “Seriously? You're giving him to an American diplomat? That's so Hollywood blockbuster.” [G laughs]

G: Yeah. 

C: [laughs] Which, I don't know. I just love when people complain about trivial things instead of facing things head on, because they're bitches, because like, same, bro. And he also starts by being like, “Oh, it's gonna be fine, though, cause Heaven’s gonna win, obviously. And it's all gonna be great.” And I don't think he believes any of that, but it is just interesting how he feels the need to play this role.

G: This advocate, yeah.

C: I don't know if he’s in denial, or if he's just like, “Well, this is the company line, and I'm used to just saying it.” But yeah, I don't know. It's just the way that they talk to each other, Aziraphale never, ever says what he means, and Crowley never says directly what he means, but because both of them are aware of how much their hands are tied, they still understand each other most of the time, which I think is very nice. And they're both just playing their roles so well. Crowley is just doing the snake tempting Eve thing to Aziraphale because that's just what they're used to, and that works, eventually. So yeah.

Also, as they head out at the park, there is a traffic warden trying to write a ticket for the Bentley because of how it's parked, and then, as the two of them drive away, the ticket book in his hands explodes. And in the book, it is specified that Aziraphale was the one who did that, in the show they do not say who did it, which makes me sad.

You know, Aziraphale keeps saying no, and Crowley is eventually like, “Okay, let's just have lunch as a social thing, then. I prommy I won’t mention this again.”

G: [laughs] “Yeah, it’s purely social.” Yeah. And then they go to drink, and this is where the Sound of Music-

C: Oh, well, [laughing] they still go to the Ritz first- it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I just think that the-

G: And then they go to the Ritz, and they just go, “You know what I want to do, I want to get drunk.” And that’s all that happens in the scene. 

C: No, but it's like, the way that they’re sitting! [laughing] Sorry.

G: The way that what?

C: Crowley isn't eating, like, he doesn't even have a plate in front of him. He has a cup of coffee, and what he's doing is he's sitting, and he's leaning forward with his fucking fist in his mouth just watching Aziraphale eat and make “mmm” sounds. Like, [laughs] it's crazy horny, in my opinion. [G laughs] But I mean, clearly you did not get any particular impression from it. I- does this screenshot not arouse any particular feelings in you?

G: Absolutely not. [C laughs] This is how I eat with all of my friends.

C: Okay, well, I think that they want to fuck so bad it's unreal. [G laughs] Okay. But yeah, you're right. Finally, they're in the bookshop and they're getting drunk, fine, we can finally get to that scene.

G: I mean, I don't really have much to say about this. It's just, they're drunk, and they're talking in a drunken way about how, “Oh, you know-”

C: “The gorillas are gonna die, and they're all so innocent.”

G: This is where- I don't know if I mentioned in this recording, or I mentioned it to you off the recording. But I thought the Sound of Music bit was so fucking funny. Basically, Crowley just says, “Oh, maybe in Heaven, you'll climb every mountain over and over again, 'cause you're gonna be there for eternity,” and he goes like, “You know what, I heard God really likes Sound of Music." And Aziraphale looks mortified by this.

C: Right, when he goes, “There's not gonna be any Steven Sondheim in Heaven,” he holds up Into the Woods, which I haven't listened to, but it's always fun to get a taste of Aziraphale’s music taste.

G: I don't know if this is- if it happens here or in the bench, but he also talks about how none of the good composers are in Heaven. [laughs] 

C: Yeah, that’s on the bench. 

G: Like, “The Bachs are in Hell. Mozart's in Hell,” etc. And Aziraphale goes, “Yeah, but they already made their music, so we can just use the music in Heaven.” [both laugh] Which is funny as hell. 

C: Yeah, yeah. The Sound of Music thing I think is so interesting 'cause- okay, I can totally buy God liking Sound of Music. But I don't get why the other angels-

G: Why does Aziraphale not like it?

C: Well, okay, yeah, first, I do feel offended that Aziraphale doesn't like The Sound of Music 'cause that musical was my entire childhood. Like, the movie with Julie Andrews taught me what love was-

G: Exactly.

C: - and I still think that that dancing scene is what invented sexual tension in our modern age. But yeah, okay, first off, what’s wrong with The Sound of Music?

G: I know, exactly!

C: I think the music in it is good! What's wrong with it? It’s fine. It’s a good fucking time. They even yodel. And secondly, why would Heaven like The Sound of Music? It's literally about a woman running away from the nunnery to fuck a DILF. I don't get it. I get what God would, cause God is a funny little girl, but like, I don't get it.

For example, the only thing that's made me similarly confused is in Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit when it's revealed one of the books that Jeanette's mom reads her all the time is Jane Eyre. And I'm like, "Why would she do that? It's about bigamy, and all that shit." And then it's revealed later in the book that Jeanette has been receiving- every time her mom has read it to her, her mom has edited the ending so that Jane actually marries St. John and joins him to colonize India via being a missionary, and that's why she received it so much, because she didn't receive the real version. But I don't think Sound of Music is being edited up there. So why is this the Heaven musical?

G: Yeah, maybe there's a Ghostfacers effect in Heaven, [C laughs] and they censor the ending as well. 

C: Yeah, yeah. She never gets to fuck that DILF, not once.

G: So sad.

C: It is saur sad.

G: There's this scene where they're like, “Oh, we're too drunk for this. Let's sober up.” It's so disgusting! [both laugh] 

C: Yeah, they fucking shit out the wine, basically.

G: It's so disgusting!

C: They both make constipated faces, and it fills back up.

G: Yeah, the wine bottle fills back up. It may be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

C: Okay, I think, a little bit earlier, before they enter the bookshop [laughs] there is a scene that I want to mention, where Crowley's still trying to convince Aziraphale.

G: Is it the one with the “Get behind me, you fiend!”? [both laugh] That is my best line. I wrote it as my best line.

C: Really? I was gonna-

G: Yeah, I loved it!

C: Okay, so what happens is Aziraphale’s like, “Crowley, I'm not helping you. I'm not interested. This is purely social. I am an angel, you are a demon. We're hereditary enemies. Get thee behind me, foul fiend.”

G: And then he goes, “After you.” [laughs] And I think it’s so funny!

C: And okay, the thing about that line. It annoys me because it's clearly a line for the trailer. You know what I mean? 

G: Agh, okay. 

C: Some lines in some things are clearly just for the trailer. They don't make that much sense in canon. Like, it's just a sound bite for the trailer, and it is in the trailer.

G: I thought it was funny! I thought it was funny!

C: It is funny, isolated, which is why it's such a good line for the trailer. But okay. So it did annoy me a bit. However, I also do- if I just take it as part of canon and say that "Okay, sure, he would say that," it's like, I feel like it is the perfect encapsulation of how much they are just play-acting their roles right now, like, he's just saying that to be camp. [both laugh] Like, it means nothing.

I love the ways that they communicate through layers, and then peel back the layers. Good for them.

G: Yeah.

C: Also, Crowley takes his sunglasses off while they're getting drunk, but only after they're partly drunk, which is quite different from, in Season 2, he just takes the sunglasses off whenever he's alone with Aziraphale and not in public. I don't know. I think it's nice that currently, he's at a point where he doesn't fully feel comfortable showing Aziraphale his eyes all the time. But eventually, he does grow to do that.

Oh, also! Everyone- the drunk scene in the bookshop is my favorite scene in the book, and they cut out a bunch of it and you should- we will reblog the audio of David Tennant doing a live reading of that section of the book. It's 10 minutes long, but it's worth it, and I listen to it daily. [G laughs] So go check that out on bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. 

-

G: Anyway, they do a scene after where the nunnery burns down, etc etc. And really, the whole point of that is to just erase all possible ways that they could know that the babies were switched incorrectly.

C: Yep.

G: Aziraphale and Crowley talk more solidly now, more soberly, about what they might do to thwart the evil wiles of the- and this is another line that I loved so much.

C: Oh, yeah, “You see a wile, you thwart.” [both laugh] It’s so funny!

G: Literally you see a wile, you thwart.

C: It's so funny. He's such a silly little guy. Yeah. Basically, Crowley is able to reframe Aziraphale helping him stop the Apocalypse as Aziraphale going against Hell, which is part of his job description. So therefore, "It's fine, you wouldn't be going against orders if you did this."

G: And the way they do it, right, he is very adamant that, even when he goes to Heaven to report what's happening, Heaven doesn't necessarily reprimand him or tell him to stop doing it, because Crowley’s right, like, this is, in a way, part of the job description. But Heaven is still very vocal that, like, “Yeah, it’s not gonna work.”

C: “Yeah, it's nice that you're doing this. But eh.”

G: “But it's not happening.”

C: Yeah. Also, specifically, their plan is that both Aziraphale and Crowley will be involved in the upbringing of the Antichrist, who they think is Warlock, and Crowley thinks that it's fully nurture and not nature. Apparently, part of his job from Hell was to provide evil influence over the baby, and get him ready to take over the world. So Aziraphale’s just supposed to be there to teach him to be nice as well.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, which very cute. Yeah, again, I like that this is all a plan that doesn't require either of them to go outside of their job descriptions. It's not like both of them are there telling the kid to be nice beccause if Hell found out about that, Crowley would be tortured, and whatever. It's very malicious compliance.

G: They’re quiet quitting. [laughs] God, what a stupid fucking- Anyway, Aziraphale comes in as a gardener.

C: Yeah. He looks like shit. 

G: Yeah. And Crowley comes in as a nun!

C: Well, as a nanny.

G: And he may or may not look like the hottest person I've ever seen. Oh yeah, nanny! [laughs] I just said nun. Comes in as a nanny, hottest person I’ve ever seen, quite possibly ever. And they just do this thing where every time Warlock goes to the garden, Aziraphale is like. “Oh, you should take care of all the creatures, and you should never kill or hurt them, and should never destroy Earth as we know it.” And he comes in, and Crowley's there, and he's like, “The gardener told me that I shouldn't hurt creatures,” and Crowley is like, “Well you should!” And there's a lullaby scene where he sings a lullaby to the kid.

C: Yeah. Also, David Tennant gets to use his Scottish accent as the nanny. Thank god. It's criminal that they're making him be British, and they're making Michael Sheen, a Welsh actor, be British also in this show.

G: Sad.

C: Sad. I’ve seen some people see Crowley as the nanny as transphobic, and I think the reasoning there is, first, that Brother Francis is supposed to be comical, like, Aziraphale is supposed to look like shit, and his voice is supposed to be stupid, or whatever, right? So it seems that paired with Crowley showing up as a nanny, and being played by David Tennant but dressing in woman's clothes and presenting as a woman in this specific scene, it's like, is it supposed to be tonally similar, where we're like, “Oh, that's funny”? And I did not think that or feel that, but I think some people could, and it is hard to tell what exactly was intended, or what exactly gets portrayed, just because that's not something I felt, but I feel like some people could be like, “Oh, him in that dress is funny.” And then I think another thing is that, maybe less so in the book, or sorry, less so in the show, but in the book, there's a pretty long passage about how like, this nanny shows up, and she has dominatrix vibes, and everyone who sees her is kinda like, “Huh! I mean, what has she got going on there,” which feels like it is playing into transmisogynistic tropes of trans women being oversexualized and only being seen as sex workers, or things like that. So like, I can definitely see that perspective. And I feel like there probably was a way to change the presentation of the scene so that it is less playing into things like that. But yeah, I don't know. And another thing is like, there's been the argument that Crowley is nonbinary in that, there are later scenes where they're presenting as a woman in a way that's not for the sake of a job or something, so sometimes it's something that he likes to do or whatever. But I think that because we see that, in this time period, like, when she's reporting to Hell or whatever, they're in their more masculine-presenting form, so in this case, it isn't just a honest representation of their gender identity at this time, at least, is the vibe that I'm getting. So I feel like that reason why it can't be transphobic doesn't really hold up here.

G: With media this recent, I tend to have the perspective of giving it the benefit of the doubt, because, you know, most of the time, the older the media is, the more probable the concept of it being explicitly transphobic from the writers’ perspective is, but the more recent it is, I am to believe that the writer is more aware of issues like this, blah blah blah. But I get where the perspective comes from.

C: Yeah. Also, this is from “trans in the sense that I've seen on Tumblr” Neil Gaiman. [laughs]

G: Yeah, I know. 

C: In that, yeah, I just don't think he knows that much about trans people, or understands things very well, so I feel like it is easier for him to be sloppy.

G: Yeah, it's shocking to me how much people don't know about stuff like these. So yeah. 

C: Yeah.

-

G: Anyway, they're trying to get the kid to grow up good on Aziraphale's side and evil on Crowley's side.

C: To cancel out to be completely neutral.

G: Yeah, they’re PEMDASing this kid. 

C: [laughs] Yeah. When they leave Warlock at the end, that kid’s gonna grow up fucked up. Like, things don’t cancel out like that. [both laugh] Like, he's been growing up with lullabies about how he's gonna take over the world and kill everyone, and then he's being told to not kill everyone, that doesn't equate to “Guess I shouldn't think about killing in any direction!” [laughs] Good luck to this kid who everyone's gonna think is trans, and has the best name and also the worst upbringing.

G: And also, I find it fascinating that this kid that they tried to neutralize as much as possible, we see him in his eleventh birthday party, and he seems kind of dickish. 

C: [laughs] Yeah, he's kind of a dick.

G: And then we see the the actual spawn of Satan who grew up without all these influences in what we can presume is a normal British household, and he seems to be a nice kid, you know. We don't see much of him, but he has friends, his friends seem to like him, you know, all that crap. So I think maybe if you tried to look into it, there is the perspective of "Adam seemed to have both his parents around and they seem to be nice people," and then, you have Warlock, who grew up in a household where-

C: His dad sucked and was never around, yeah. 

G: Yeah. They're very rich people, and his parents, his dad specifically, may or may not have been present, and all that crap. And it's like, maybe there's something to gain from that perspective. Like, maybe all these things that Crowley and Aziraphale did really doesn't matter [laughs], you know?

C: I mean, it doesn't. 

G: Yeah, exactly. It's not the question of nature versus nurture. It's more of what is the nurture that is happening? And like, maybe Aziraphale and Crowley severely underestimated the other factors in the nurture category, you know?

C: Yeah. I mean, how often does the kid- does any child talk to the gardener? Like, truly, what an odd role. 

G: He had one conversation with a gardener who told him not to kill a slug [C laughs] and for some reason this is gonna change his entire trajectory of his life forever.

C: For real.

G: Anyway, they go to Heaven and Crowley goes to Hell. It's a whole thing.

C: Yeah, the set design is very fun.

G: Yeah! Oh yeah! I said we would talk about it.

C: Yeah, you wanted to talk about that.

G: Hell is presented as kind of an underground seedy club kind of situation. 

C: Though, I mean, there’s no fun music, it’s like a club where the DJ didn’t show up. 

G: I don't know, they're just there. They're talking. It's dimly lit, versus Heaven, which is-

C: Corporate. 

G: A very, very, very lit-up corporate establishment. 

C: Yeah, I love that there's windows, but there's nothing out of them except for blinding white light.

G: [laughs] Yeah, I love that.

C: The illusion of freedom, or there being a world outside, but there isn't.

G: Yeah. I think it's fascinating that they present it this way, 'cause, I mean in Supernatural, they do kind of present it this way, you know. In other media, I would presume that Heaven is kind of like a Garden of Eden kind of situation-

C: Right.

G: - where it's like nature and beauty, and natural beauty whatever, and Hell is hellfire. How is it presented in the books? It’s like this?

C: They... I don't think they ever go to Heaven, except for a bit later.

G: You know what? I think Neil Gaiman may or may not have watched Supernatural and thought, "That’s cool."

C: No, actually, he hasn't. This is something he's answered on his Tumblr. A lot of people have been like, “Oh, I've seen a lot of similarities, haha. Are you a Supernatural fan?” And each time he's gone, “No, but Eric Kripke is a Good Omens fan.” [G laughs] He's never seen Supernatural. But Eric Kripke is a Good Omens fan.

G: So the implication is that the similarities are Supernatural taking from Good Omens? 

C: Well, yeah. Good Omens was published in 1990. 

G: God, that’s funny as hell.

C: It's an old-

G: I know. But that’s why I'm asking, did the book present Heaven and Hell this way? Because, if not, maybe it was a Supernatural-inspired thing.

C: It's possible that the set designers are-

G: Were Supernatural fans? 

C: Yeah, that is possible.

G: There was the one with an angel sigil, right?

C: 'Cause wasn't there an angel sigil in Season 2 that was- okay, but that was just because it was the Enochian alphabet that’s in general created by somebody else.

G: Yeah. But I think maybe they just looked up “angel sigil” and saw a Supernatural angel sigil and went with that.

C: Perhaps. I feel like the idea of Heaven being corporate is a pretty logical conclusion to draw from the way it’s presented with all it’s rules and regulations and stuff. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe a set designer was a Supernatural fan, but I don't think so.

G: Well, I do think so! [C laughs]

C: The Hell scene, we get to meet Beelzebub, who's the Lord of the Flies.

G: Hell yeah! And it's funny because later, they do a thing where the other guy that's calling Crowley is the Lord of the Files. [laughs] And I thought that was just funny as hell.

C: Yes, Dagon, Lord of the Files. That is a pretty funny thing. The thing about Beelzebub is that back in 2019 or something, right, someone asked Neil on Tumblr, “Hey, what are Beelzebub’s pronouns?” 

G: Why is he constantly on Tumblr? Get the fuck off that website, bro.

C: He’s just- I mean, we should also ask why I have read so many of his asks, and whether this parasocial hate relationship is healthy. [G laughs] But yeah, the real question is, why is he always on Tumblr answering those damn asks, instead of doing something of substance? But yeah, anyway. And he said, “zzzzir,” like z-i-r but with a lot of z’s, and it's just a joke about how Beelzebub has flies, enunciates “zzz” sounds in zir name. Later, at various conventions and things, like, people, the actors, Neil himself, are using she/her pronouns for Beelzebub, right, and then finally, we get to Season 2, and it's the first time Beelzebub gets referred to with a pronoun, and the pronoun used is they. I just, if you're gonna make a stupid joke about neopronouns and then, like- okay, fucking follow through, bro.

G: Yeah.

C: That's what I think. Even in the world of fiction podcasts, where nonbinary characters aren't super missing the way that they are in other media, I feel like I still haven't met a character who uses neos, and like-

G: And the thing is, even if this was true, I think there could be a way where you could incorporate this into the show without it- like, it can be a joke, but still a sincere thing, you know what I mean?

C: Yeah, I get what you mean.

G: There could be a way to walk that tightrope. So it's not impossible to do.

C: Yeah. I agree. But Neil Gaiman did not do it, yeah. 

G: Didn’t even attempt to walk it. 

C: Yeah, yeah. It was nice for a while to be able to read fanfictions where ze pronouns were used for a semi-major character pretty regularly, even if it arose from a dumb joke. But yeah, he didn't even try. He didn't even try. He was just like, “Well, close enough, right? All the nonbinaries are the same, right?” And then he just slapped a they/them on Beezlebub after the she/her-ing at cons and stuff. And yeah, I don't know. It's a shitty thing to do, I'm annoyed about it. I don't know. I think that usually when I'm talking to my friends about the show I use the ze pronouns for Beelzebub out of spite. I think I'm not certain what I'm gonna do in the podcast, but we'll see.

Oh, right, funny moment during the Hell thing, Crowley is like, “Oh, yeah, he's growing up to be so evil. It's great.” And then Ligur immediately goes [both] “Has he killed anyone yet?” [both laughing]

G: And he’s like, “[both] No. You know, baby steps.” [laughs]

C: Yup, yup. It’s very funny. 

G: What’s the specific thing he said he was doing?

C: It was like, “He's remarkable, and he's super evil,” and later he's like, “But there's more to evil than just killing people, right?” [G laughs] And everyone just stares at him like he's a weirdo.

Also, Crowley's hair this whole time has been long, which I really appreciate. Once we get to the present present day, he chops it off, and it's like, the most miserable thing that's ever happened to my eyes. But currently, it's long, and he has it half up. What's the name of that style where you take the front part that’s in front of your ears, and you tie it back behind you in a ponytail, but the rest of your hair is down?

G: Oh, it's like a half pony. 

C: Yeah, yeah. That's his hair right now, and it's great. I wish he never changed it.

G: I was actually severely disappointed when-

C: The chop happened?

G: -when we cut to the present and the hair is chopped.

C: I know! I know!

G: 'Cause I assumed- 'cause, you know, he has long hair pretty much this entire episode, and I just assume that Season 1, this is the hair, and in Season 2 it’s gonna be short-

C: God, I wish.

G: - but it’s not, and it made me sad.

C: Yeah, this is the worst act of transphobia Neil Gaiman has ever committed.

G: Yeah.

C: Ugh, god, that's not true. [G laughs] I saw some parts of his earlier comics, and he had a comic where there was a serial killer convention, and one of them talked about how his favorite type of person to kill was pre-op trans women. Like, what the fuck was that about? Anyway.  So.

Meanwhile in Heaven, as you've already mentioned before, Aziraphale is- he's basically in the giving a Powerpoint presentation stance, except there's no Powerpoint presentation, which I think is adorbs. And he's like, “You know, I really think the Antichrist is being influenced towards the light,” and Heaven's just like, “Okay, cool. But you're gonna fail. So it's nice that you're trying, but whatever.” And also one of the angels, I think Michael, says, “Wars are meant to be won, not avoided.” 

G: While they're saying goodbye, one of the angels goes-

C: Yeah, Gabriel goes-

G: “Climb every mountain.”

C: “As the Almighty likes to say, climb every mountain!”

G: “Climb every mountain.” And the thing is, it's both a reference to- you can say that it's not a reference to The Sound of Music, but it can be a reference to when Crowley was like, “You can climb every mountain over and over again," so you can already see that Aziraphale’s face falls a little bit, and he's like, “Uh oh!” and the next line is an angel going-

C: And then Sandalphon comes in, yeah.

G: And- what was it? “Ford every stream.”

C: Yup. Yup.

G: And I just about fucking lost it, like, I started scream-laughing by myself. 

C: It’s a pretty good time. 

G: After this scene, Aziraphale kind of starts becoming a lot more nervous. Crowley and him have this conversation, “What if we fail? What happens?” And then Crowley’s like, “Well, I guess-”

C: “It’s joever. It’s crover.”

G: It's joever. And you can see in Aziraphale’s face, he’s worried, he’s worried sick. And [laughing] it’s so funny to think that the thing that made him this worried about the end [C laughs] is that the fucking angels are referencing Sound of Music. He fucking hates that show so much it’s unreal.

C: Right. Also, I think a fun costume design thing with the angels is- first they're all in these severe gray suits, except Sandalphon, who's in a tan suit, but they all have gold accents on their face. Like, Uriel has a lot of gold makeup on their face, and they look really great, and then Sandalphon, when he says “Ford every stream,” you see that he has a gold tooth. So, I don't know. Fun stuff!

G: What's Aziraphale’s gold accent?

C: He does not have one as far as we're aware, but he does wear a gold ring that I think is supposed to be Heaven-affiliated. So, I don't know. It'd be nice if that was- I don't know if he has a gold mark that he's covering, or- I think Neil Gaiman has referred to the marks as like, more of a fashion thing than part of the actual angelic form.

G: I love that.

C: So it's just Aziraphale's that loser who isn't trendy right now, because everyone else has their gold shit on.

G: Anyway. We go to six days before the end of the world.

C: Yurp.

G: Back in Hell, these two demons are checking on a hellhound. [laughs] And it's just a giant dog that they keep in a room, and they were like, “You think it's like, beastly enough?” And they send in some guy, I don't know, just a soul there, or a demon or whatever, and they send him inside, and they're like, “Watch out for the teeth!” And the,  you know, the beast ravages this poor guy, and they were like, “Well, we did tell him that, you know, to watch out for the teeth. If he didn’t do it, it's not our fault.”

C: Yeah, that is a pretty funny line.

G: God, they’re kinda horrible, I love that.

C: Yeah, I will say, though, I feel like this is fine as a one off, but okay, the demon who gets sent in, his name is Eric the disposable demon, and there's a bunch of forms of him, and he pops up a lot throughout the show, and he is mostly just there to get comically killed.

G: [laughs] Okay. Does it get tiresome at some point?

C: It’s less that it gets tiresome than like, I feel like Good Omens is like, “We did race-blind casting, and that makes us cool.” But I feel like sometimes you should maybe consider who putting in what roles regarding race.

G: Ah, yeah, yeah.

C: Because Eric is played by a Black man. And yeah, as you mentioned, most of the people on the show are white. So yeah. I feel like we'll get into race and casting more when we get to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I feel like that's an- yeah. I don't know.

-

G: There’s Crowley and Aziraphale are seated on a bench, watching Warlock and his mom.

C: Yeah, and they’re actually sitting closer to each other this time.

G: Yeah! They’re meeting in the middle. And there's this bit where Crowley is like, “Oh, yeah, I mean, there's gonna be a hellhound at 3 on Wednesday.” [laughs] And Aziraphale is like, “There's gonna be a what? Like, this has never been mentioned to me before.” And Crowley’s just like, “Oh, yeah, there's gonna be a hellhound, and it's going to start the- it's going to mark the beginning of Armageddon when he names the dog.”

C: Yeah. In the book, Crowley didn't know about it until the day before, 'cause Hell just called him about it. But it is funny how in the show it's just like, “Oh, yeah, I knew the whole time. I just forgor.”

G: Also, he tells Aziraphale that like- well, he suggests at first, [C laughs] and Aziraphale doesn't get it. But eventually he does tell the angel that like, “Maybe you should just kill the guy. [both laugh] Maybe you should just kill the kid.” And, you know, Aziraphale is against this, cause he's never killed anyone or anything, really.

C: Yeah. But he never suggests that Crowley do it, which I think is nice. During this scene we get the first time that Crowley calls Aziraphale “angel.” 'Cause Aziraphale’s-

G: I thought- I mean, that is his creature name. But yeah, it's sweet. It's sweet.

C: Yeah. It is very sweet. I feel like sometimes it comes off as more about talking about his species, and sometimes it comes off as just a cute little nickname. And okay, so the specific thing about the hellhound is once the kid names the hellhound, it gives the hellhound its purpose, and then that's when Armageddon starts. And if Crowley and Aziraphale were able to balance out influences correctly, then the kid will see the hellhound, not feel drawn to it, and then send it away without a name, and then Armageddon can't start. So like, that's the mechanics of it. It's supposed to come during his eleventh birthday party, so both of them decide that they have to spy on the party, and Aziraphale starts getting really excited about the possibility of being a magician at the party.

G: Yeah. And he does this thing where he takes out the coin, and it falls on the floor [C laughs] and he’s like, “Wait, wait! Wait, wait!” and then he puts his hand behind Crowley's ear and takes out the coin. He's like, “Ah! It came from your ear,” and the whole time Crowley is just like, “Jesus fucking Christ.” 

C: Like, “This is sooo embarrassing, bro, you’re being so cringe right now.”

G: "This is so humiliating." Yeah. I love to think that at some point in history, when Aziraphale started getting into this, Crowley being like, “Oh, this is horrible!” And then, years and years and years and years later, it's still happening. I love that.

C: Yeah. I mean it has been. It's very, very fun. It ends, what? With Crowley muttering, “I'll make you disappear,” [laughs] when Aziraphale’s talking about disappearing the coin.

G: No. 'Cause there's- you know, he's an angel, so he can just do things, but he doesn't because he thinks the illusion of magic is so much more fun to do.

C: Wow, he’s just like Sam Winchester. [laughs]

G: He’s just like Sam Winchester for real. 

C: Sorry, that wasn’t fair to Aziraphale. But Sam’s not too bad of a guy to be compared with.

G: He goes and does the magic act in the party, and he fucks it up quite severely. He looks stupid as hell in there. [C laughs]

C: He’s drawn a Sharpie mustache on himself.

G: I love that. And the kids tell him that he's rubbish. [both laugh]

C: [laughs] But they don’t say-

G: “And probably-”

C: “-a faggot,” they don’t. They cut out the most important line in the entire book, I'm devastated.

G: Exactly.

C: The thing is like, the funniest thing about this is- Good Omens the TV show is a fun experiment in, like, "What if you wrote a book in 1990 and you said some shitty things in there, and then in 2019, you had the chance to unsay some of those shitty things? Which ones would you pick?" And the other thing about Good Omens is that there's a radio show from 2014, I've listened to it- I just forgot if it was from 2014, or 2015, where Neil Gaiman was also faced with this choice, and in 2014 or 2015, he said, “I'm keeping ‘faggot’ in.” And then, four years later, he went, “You know what, I've reconsidered.” What happened in the middle, Neil Gaiman?

G: He Matt Damon-ified. 

C: Sorry, I didn't hear that, what?

G: I said he Matt Damon-ified. Do you know about that Matt Damon thing where like, randomly in an interview-

C: Ohhhh!

G: - completely unprompted, he just goes. “I've stopped saying the f-slur.” [both laugh]

C: “My daughter was really upset when I said it, and she sat me down, and we had a really nice conversation, and you know what, I get it now, I'm not saying it anymore.” God, I forgot. That was Matt Damon. That's hilarious.

G: Totally unprompted.

C: Because yeah, in the podcast Greater Boston, there's a fictional Matt Damon, he's treated as a pretty good guy, it's Ben Affleck that they hate on a lot. But you're right, Matt Damon did say that. [laughs] Hilarity.

G: I mean, at least he doesn't say it anymore, I guess. [both laugh]

C: God, didn’t Kasey Musgraves, after getting her Emmy, or around the time of her getting her- sorry, why did I say Emmy? Around the time of getting her Grammy, she, unprompted, was like, “Oh, yeah, I also used to say it as an insult, but I don't anymore.” What do people- do they think that saying this will absolve them of their guilt? I don't know, sometimes you just keep that shit to yourself, bro.

G: It was entertaining to hear. [laughs]

C: That's true. It was pretty funny.

G: I think maybe there is a whole like, "If I say it, and then the people who-" it’s weeding out the people who would get mad at you if you- For saying that like, “Oh, you shouldn't say stuff like this.” Maybe it's that perspective, but I don't think- Maybe-

C: Okay, I get the idea of appealing to the audience of people who still say it as like a “Hey, don't anymore.” But was that- I don't think that was really the vibe I got from Matt Damon. 

G: Yeah, I think Matt Damon was just really proud of himself. 

C: Yeah, he was like, “I did a really good job.” He's so like my parents for real. I mean, they don't say the f-slur 'cause they don't know the f-slur, but every year, unprompted, they're like, “Aren't we so much better at gay rights than we used to be?” And I'll be like, “No. Anyway." [G laughs]

G: Amazing.

C: Amazing.

G: Anyway, they start throwing cake at Aziraphale 'cause he was so bad at the magic [C laughs], and the kids are having fun. Anyway, the hound gets released into the world, and because it has super senses, or whatever, it knows that the Antichrist is not, in fact, Warlock, but is, in fact. Adam.

C: Yup.

G: I mean, Adam, as you said earlier, seems to be a nice kid. He's playing in the fucking forest, or whatever. His group of friends called themselves the Them. I love that.

C: This is the future liberals want.

G: Yeah, this is literally the future liberals want. And it already occurred in 2019. Adam is talking about how much he wants a dog for his birthday, and all that crap.

C: Yeah. Pepper has a woman moment, which was sure something, where she says like, “Oh, I wanted a cool bike with gears, and a razor saddle for my birthday, but instead, my parents got me a girl's bike with a basket, and no cool things whatsoever.” And then Wensleydale goes, “But you are actually a girl,” and then she goes, “That's just sexist.” And, ugh. Why can't Neil Gaiman write women? Like, there are women in his life. [G laughs] He’s a people in this world. He can just write women like people in this world. It'd be cool. And like, I think the annoying part is, in the book the line is, she goes like, “That's just sexist, giving someone girly presents because they're a girl.” And when I read that I was like, “Okay, she's being portrayed as making a reasonable point.” But like, what this adaptation tells me is like, oh, no, it's because when they wrote it in 1990, they thought that her original statement was ridiculous and stupid. So now they're just cutting it down to give it the same tone of it being ridiculous and stupid. And the fact that this version is so like, “Did you just assume my pronouns?” You know what I mean? It's sexist to call her a girl is the joke now, and like, I don't know. G: Yeah.

C: And I think I have a special sensitivity towards that, because “Did you just assume my pronouns?” was like, the hot new joke at my high school in tenth grade-

G: Oof, yeah. It also was!

C: - and it made me feel so incredibly unsafe every time I was anywhere in school-

G: Yes, that's true.

C: - 'cause it would just happen during every conversation. So, yeah. Not a fan.

G: I know! It was- God. That was a horrible time.

C: It was so bad!

G: And the thing is, I lived in a very progressive high school. People were very- a lot of people were gay, you know. And a lot of people who were making these jokes were gay people. Like, you're already queer, and you're just punching down, 'cause you don't think that like, whatever whatever is whatever. And it was, you know, very hurtful, etc.

C: Yeah, yeah. Same experience here. Yeah, I feel like me and the one other trans kid around were like, "We've tried telling some people to not do it. And it worked on some people." But most of the time it was just like, "I'm having the most miserable year of my life."

G: I think for me, the experience is- 'cause, you know, I was out as queer but not trans, and the experience is kind of like, "Okay, well!" and then pushing back into the closet kind of situation.

C: Yeah.

G: Which also sucked, but, you know.

C: Yeah. I don't even think I knew I was nonbinary at the beginning of that year, but I was like - I don't think it helped me realize, but definitely I feel like some of the visceral uncomfortableness, I didn't know where it was coming from until I was like, “Hey, what if we weren't a girl?” 

G: Yeah, it's crazy. 

C: Yeah. Oh, you said you couldn’t think of a worst line, for a long time, but I feel like we found one.

G: That's it. This could be it. 

C: Okay.

-

G: Anyway, the hellhound goes to Adam, and at this point he still can't see the hellhound. and he starts naming the hellhound. And there's a lot of suspense where he goes, “Oh, I’ll name it…”

C: “If I got a dog for my birthday, I think I would want him to be named…Dog!” 

G: And then he goes, “Dog!” He also describes the kind of dog he wants, 'cause at some point, one of his friends goes like, “Do you want a Rottweiler?” And he goes, "No, I want a small dog, it’s smart, and all that crap.” And then the hellhound turns into this dog 'cause it's the dog that Adam desired.

C: Yeah, yeah.

G: So suddenly, there's this dog, and it's running to Adam. And now he has a dog, and the Apocalypse is about to start.

C: Yeah. It is so nice that he named the dog Dog, god bless.

Okay, right. Also, before the scene, as we mentioned earlier, you know, Crowley is in the car, and Dagon, Lord of the Files, calls, and is like, “Oh, yeah, we released the dog, and it would definitely go to the right boy. So hello, is it there?” And Crowley is like, “Oh, yeah, mm-hm. Mm-hm. 100%, for sure.” And I guess what I like about the scene is that it also shows the limits of Hell's surveillance. Because they're talking to him through the radio, but Aziraphale’s in the car, and they have no idea, which means that when they're talking to him through a purely audio medium, they can't actually see him in any way, whereas in a later episode they talk to him via a TV, and I think they can see him for that one. So yeah, another cool detail.

But anyway, we cut back to the bookstore, and Aziraphale and Crowley are sitting there and drinking again. And, you know, Crowley’s just like, “This sucks. We've lost the Antichrist. Why did I have to get dragged into this, anyway? It's horrible.” And Aziraphale has another great bitchy moment where he's like, “Well, I think maybe the reason is because you kept sending them memos about how you were so good that you started the Spanish Inquisition [G laughing] and World War II.”  And Crowley’s like, “Okay, first, not my fault that they never check up. Who cares? And secondly, humans beat me to it, so that's not my fault. I totally could have done it myself if I wanted to.” He's such a silly little guy. And then he sniffs the air and he goes like, “Oh, there's something different,” and Aziraphale goes, “Oh, I have a new cologne, my barber suggested it.” [G laughs] And Crowley goes [both] “No, I know what you smell like.” Insane moment, absolutely insane moment. What was the point of any of it? It is not in the book. But yeah. Basically, Crowley senses that wherever the hellhound is, it has found the true Antichrist. And when Aziraphale doubts this, he goes, “Would I lie to you?” And Aziraphale goes, “Well, obviously, you're a demon. That's what you do.” Which, you know, is just them doing their thing again. I really don't know how much either of them believe any of this shit. I feel like Crowley wouldn't say that sentence unless he thought it would still register emotionally, and I think it does still register emotionally. I think Aziraphale just has prejudice reflexes or whatever. But yeah, you know, Crowley ends with being like, “Okay, well, we're doomed.” And Aziraphale goes, “Welcome to the end times.” And, you know, that's the end of the episode.

G: Pretty fun. Pretty good. Pretty great.

C: Yeah. Pretty great.

Grey, how would you rate this episode out of 10?

G: For a pilot, I am a firm believer that TV shows are not supposed to get you in the pilot. Like, "give the first five episodes a go before making a judgment," I'm that kind of person because I am in full awareness that a lot of the times, first seasons of shows are kind of horrible and etc etc. But obviously Good Omens is a different kind of show than the ones that I usually watch, and I think this pilot is actually really good 'cause it fully engaged me. And honestly, I am quite sad that we'll have to wait a week-

C: To watch the next one?

G: - for the next recording. Because I wanna watch the whole season right now.

C: Damn.

G: It has interested me that much. So, alas! Well, so, I think for that, for the way it grabbed me, I would say this is a 10 out of 10 episode.

C: Nice. For me, I mean, this is good. I get to meet my favorite little guys. I think that sometimes, the jokes are too obviously set up, and that makes them less funny to me. Like, there's a scene where Pepper’s like, “Oh, and this dog's just gonna appear out of nowhere?” and then the dog appears.

G: Yeah, and then it did.

C: And it's like, okay, whatever. You don't have to say everything. So I would ding a little for that. But I feel like otherwise, this is, I mean, you're right. It's a good pilot. So I'll give it a 9 out of 10. 

G: Hell yeah!

C: Hell yeah. That’s it for this week's episode of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast. Next time, we will be talking about Season 1, Episode 2: “The Book.” Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

G: Follow us on social media! We interact through the accounts set up for our Supernatural commentary podcast, Busty Asian Beauties. So catch us on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com and email us at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com.

C: Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Kofi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod. See you guys next time! Bye!

G: Bye!

[theme song]

-

[beep]

G: I’m eating my Snickers almond brownie dark chocolate. 

C: Wait, it’s a Snickers brownie?

G: Yeah, it’s a Snickers almond brownie and dark chocolate square.

C: Like, that’s the flavor of it, or it’s actually a brownie with Snickers in it?

G: Yeah. No, it’s like a Snickers brand almond brownie. 

C: Huh. 

G: And it’s covered in dark chocolate.

C: That sounds pretty good. 

G: Yeah, it’s way too sweet. 

-

[beep]

G: Do you know that joke with the like- "What is it you cahn't face?"

C: No, what? 

G: There's an Internet meme where- what's the name of the main character in Sound of Music?

C: Maria?

G: Yeah. So Maria goes back to the convent, and she's like, “Oh, I can't do it anymore, blah blah blah." And one of the nuns is like, “Maria. The convent is not the place for hiding. What is it- what is it you can't face?” But like, because they're fucking Austrian, or whatever, the accent makes it sound like she’s calling her a cuntface. [both laughing]

C: Okay, that's pretty good. I don't think I noticed that at age nine or whatever, though.