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moongothic · 5 months

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When people talk about there being "evidence" for the theory that Crocodile could be Luffy's other bio-dad, they tend to point out these kind surface-level details, easter eggs and Crocodile's odd behaviour during the Marineford-arc. And while all of that is very important as it lays down the groundwork for explaining the theory to people, unironically I think there's even more to the theory. When you really think about the implications the theory has on Crocodile's character and how that would tie into the long running narrative elements and themes in One Piece as a whole, I think it kind of changes everything

So, in this post I want to analyze and speculate about the theory, going a bit "beyond" the basics we already know. Heavy emphasis on the speculation-part, because I'm not here to provide conclusive evidence to prove that Crocodad is Real, rather, I'm here to speculate about how it could be real in practise, and try to explain how so many things would suddenly add up if the theory was true. I'm here to prove that Crocodad would make sense on a narrative level.

Quickly starting with a brief-ish summary of the Basic Thesis of the Crocodad Theory, just so we're all on the same page:

Naturally, if you already know the basics, feel free to skip this bit

Crocodile has secret beef with Ivankov. Although there is no proof that the beef has anything to do with Crocodile being trans, when you go out of your way to introduce a new character whose power is Magic HRT, it's a natural conclusion for people to assume that if these two know each other, then Crocodile could be a trans man. And naturally, if we're assuming he's Luffy's other dad, then he has to be trans

Dragon, as the leader of the Revolutionary Army, is in canon considdered to be the world's Most Wanted Criminal. He is extremely famous as pretty much everyone (except Luffy) knows who he is

Crocodile knowing the second-in-command of the Revolutionary Army doesn't inherently mean he was involved with the Revolutionaries, nor that he has ever met Dragon, but being familiar with Ivankov means it is entirely plausible the two could've met in the past

(Sidenote but I do have a loose theory how Crocodile could've been involved with the Revolutionaries; not relevant here but if you wanted to read it, here you go)

Despite this, when Dragon is revealed to be Luffy's father during the Summit War, although Oda includes the reactions of all the other Shichibukai, he very specifically leaves out Crocodile's reaction to the revelation. This is suspicious as hell, because surely, between his ties with Ivankov and Dragon being world famous, he would've had some thoughts about Luffy being Dragon's son (wrote about this in more depth)

For Crocodad to be real, we are assuming that Crocodile did not know Luffy was Dragon's/his son until Sengoku's announcement during Marineford, this being the reason Oda didn't show that reaction; it would've been too revealing

(We are assuming that Dragon never told Crocodile his name; this is entirely plausible considdering his full name had been a secret to the whole world (as explained post-Enies Lobby), and Dragon had kept the existence of his son a secret even from Ivankov and Kuma. We also need to assume that Crocodile did not name his son, otherwise surely he would have realized Luffy was his son when they met in Alabasta)

This is why Crocodile ends up saving Luffy's life twice in Marineford (as well as Ace's) when until the revelation he had no reason to even care about the idiot

Crocodile choosing to save Luffy's life probably means one of two things; either he really hates the World Government more than the child who foiled his plans to take over Alabasta, or he cares about his son despite knowing Luffy hates his guts

Again, this is just the basic concept, if you want to read more and see all the more easter egg-type hints, I'd reccomend this post, this post and this post (the third one repeats most of the stuff the first two do in but less detail, but also adds a few more notes extra notes). But now that we're generally speaking on the same level, we can delve deeper.

Please, go get yourself a drink and maybe a snack, this is gonna get long and deranged

Going to start with a fairly small thing.

Through out the series Oda has been repeatedly hinting at Crocodile having A Past, some History, A Backstory that lead to him becoming the way he is. But Oda hasn't actually told us what that backstory is. On the surface, this wouldn't be that strange, after all, there's lots of characters whose backstories we haven't seen, for example Mihawk. We know essentially nothing about that man and how he became the way he is. But what's different about Crocodile as opposed to Mihawk and many others, is that Oda hasn't hinted at there being an interesting backstory there that's worth telling. Like I'm sure Mihawk could have an interesting story, but Oda hasn't alluded to that at all. So the fact that he has repeatedly told us that Crocodile does have a backstory, but at most gave us two whole breadcrumbs in an SBS, is a little suspicious. (For clarity, the hints we've gotten so far to Crocodile's backstory were his repeated comments about not trusting people and how he had given up his dreams in Alabasta, while Summit War gave us the Secret Beef with Ivankov and his grudge against Whitebeard. In an SBS in Vol 78, Oda did confirm that Crocodile had his ass kicked by Whitebeard after he became a Warlord in his early 20s, and that he went "quiet for a while" until he started his heroics around his 30s, setting his eyes on Alabasta. Indeed, we have some breadcrumbs of lore, but this hardly paints a full picture. We know nothing abot what he was doing in his late 20s, which would've been the time Luffy was born btw)

What I'm getting at, is that Crocodile clearly has a backstory, but the fact that Oda hasn't spilled the beans yet would indicate to me that it's likely Oda has been saving up that backstory. Which would make sense, Crocodile hasn't been in a role in the story yet where spending time to tell his story would've been appropriate. So really, we're just waiting for the right time for those beans to be finally spilled. But what makes things even more interesting is that One Piece has a very specific track record of not giving its villians extended and dedicated backstories/flashbacks. Villians can cameo in other characters' flashbacks (Moria, Arlong), they can have their own little segments inside the the heroic characters' flashbacks (Orochi, Doflamingo), they might even get their own SHORT dedicated flashbacks (Lucci whose flashback was 6 whole panels long). But villians do not get their OWN, dedicated and EXTENDED flashbacks. Flashbacks are for the heroic characters. There has been a single exception to this rule and that was Big Mom. That's it. And while I'm positive this rule is going to be broken at least one more time before the series ends, really. What do you think is more likely to happen? That Crocodile becomes such an important villian again, this late in the game, that he deserves his own flashback so we can finally find out what his deal is? (When Blackbeard and Imu are also there mind you) Or that Crocodile's role in the story might not be that of a villian anymore, and that Oda had been saving up his backstory all this time because it could reframe his entire character and how we view him?

Oda loves taking inspiration from various mythologies and pop culture alike to bring life into his work.

This is nothing new or surprising, we all know this. For example, Oda did base the original seven Shichibukai on the Seven Heroes from Romancing SaGa 2, each Warlord more or less matching a description of one of the game's villians. Crocodile just happens to match Wagnas, the queer coded leader of the group, who had the noble swordsman Noel (Mihawk) by his side when the group was created to save the world from a great evil. Meanwhile Alabasta as a whole took a lot of inspiration of Egyptian mythology, Crocodile in that arc matching the role of the crocodile-god Sobek. Sobek is a protector god ("Guardian of Alabasta"), associated with military power (literally what Crocodile wanted to obtain) and fertility, carrying the epithet of "he who loves robbery" (man stole a lot of things, from money and lives to rain and nearly a whole dang country). Sobek's name is speculated to come from the words "to impregnate" or "to unite", both being potentially very interesting coincidences (depending on if Crocodad Real and what Cross Guild's purpose in the story is going to be) (if you want more details you can go read the Wikipedia article on Sobek). (Also I'm sure there's something interesting to be said about Sobek's fusion with the sun deity Ra, Sobek-Ra, and how Luffy is our lil Sun God)

The reason I'm pointing this out is that based on Oda's hinting and/or references to mythologies, people have in the past been able to predict certain plot twists and reveals way ahead of time. For example, most recently people were able to predict that Saint Saturn had been the one to give Ginny (and by extension, Bonney) the Sapphire Scale-disease based on a certain legent about ushi-oni, which is what Saturn just happens to be. (Here's one of the many Reddit posts that predicted that reveal) And there is one particular story from Japanese mythology I want to bring up, as it may be relevant to our Crocodad Discussion here. The story of Toyotama Hime. Here's a quick TL:DR;

Princess Toyotama had travelled from the depths of the ocean onto land so she could give birth to her child. When the time to deliver the baby came, Toyotama asked for her husband, Hoori, to not look at her while she gave birth, as she would change into her true form. And while Hoori promised he wouldn't look, he couldn't keep the promise. He peeked in on her wife as she was giving birth, only to discover that she had transformed into a gigantic wani. Horrified by what he had seen, Hoori fled, leaving his wife and child behind. Hurt by what had happened, Toyotama abandoned her son and returned to the ocean. (You can read different summaries of the legend on the Wani-article as well as Toyotama's article on Wikipedia)

Now historically speaking, "wani" in mythology can have referred to serpent dragons, sharks or sea monsters. But in modern Japanese, the word translates to "crocodile". It's what Luffy and a few other characters call Crocodile on numerous occassions. Hell, Crocodile's favorite pets are his gigantic bananawani. Historically speaking it might be more accurate to say that Toyotama had transformed into a sea serpent, but for our intents and purposes, Hoori abandoned Toyotama after she became a crocodile.

I can not tell you what exactly the relationship between Dragon and Crocodile was like, how it began and how it ended. There's no way for us to know when Crocodile transitioned (beyond "after giving birth to Luffy"), nor do we know how Dragon found out about it and how he reacted to it. There's a million options for how things could've gone down, and nothing to truly go off of to even make a guess. All we do really know, is that 1) Dragon does not seem to wear rings at all. 2) Crocodile wears rings, but leaves one out specifically on his ring finger, where one would normally wear their engagement/wedding ring (mind you; for the first half of Alabasta Oda drew Crocodile without a ring on his middle finger, but from the latter half onwards, through Impel Down and Marineford, it's always the ring finger). 3) This suspicious ass comment

"I don't know they have kids or not" YEAH RIGHT

If we wanted to use the story of Toyotama Princess as a jumping off-point though. It's entirely plausible that soon after giving birth Crocodile transitioned thanks to Ivankov's ability, and because Dragon wasn't into it, the two broke up/got divorced. The unfortunate reality is that many couples end up breaking up if/when a partner comes out as trans and chooses to transition. Just like Hoori abandoned his wife because she turned into a crocodile, Dragon could've divorced Crocodile because he transitioned into a man. And Dragon would not be a bad person for it (as long as he was respectful about it). If Dragon is straight and just couldn't see himself being with a man, that's just how it is. At the same time, this would be a gut wrenching, painful thing to go through, and this kind of heartbreak could have devastating concequences for Crocodile's character. Concequences that could play deeply into One Piece's long running narrative elements, which is why a lot of my speculation from here on does end up relying on the Toyotama Myth possibly being inspiration for Crocodile's secret backstory. I acknowledge there's no quarantee that's the case, but I am here to make an argument for why it could be.

QUICK SIDENOTES

As mentioned before, although Ivankov holds the key to a weakness Crocodile has (in their own words), we don't know what that weakness is.

Crocodile joined the Shichibukai in the first half of his 20s (SBS vol 78), and he would've been 27 years old when Luffy was born. This means it's nearly impossible for Crocodile to be stealth trans, as he would've been a public figure for years; which means, Crocodile could be openly trans

A single earring on the right ear can be read as a "gay earring". The man does like his jewelry, so there's no proof he's signaling that he's gay, but if Crocodile's happy to let the world know he's into men, then surely there'd be no issue with him being openly trans either

His transition would've happened 17 years ago pre-timeskip, so in-universe it'd be old ass news and not worth bringing up to the readers if it doesn't add anything to the current plot or his character (which it wouldn't have during Alabasta nor Summit War)

If Crocodile's secret weakness wasn't him being stealth trans, and Ivankov can't detransition him against his will (can't hit Crocodile without Armanent Haki), then what is that secret weakness Ivankov knows about?

As Dragon told Kuma: "A child is a parent's weakness". If Ivakov was anywhere near Crocodile when his child was born (so that Crocodile was able to transition as soon as the kid was out) Ivankov could/should know about the child existing, and would thus be able to blackmail Crocodile by holding the information of his secret child hostage

However, Ivankov did not know about Dragon having a child

Meaning if Crocodile and Dragon were in a relationship, it must have happened in secret, otherwise Ivankov should've realized Crocodile gave birth to Dragon's child

So One Piece has a lot of narrative elements that come up time and time again through out the story,

And some of these have become more and more relevant in the story especially post-timeskip. This is not a comprehensive list of all of them, just the ones that could heavily tie into Crocodile if he were Luffy's other dad, as they could reframe his character. So, let's look at these narrative elements, how they've appeared in the story so far, and speculate how they could reflect in Crocodile.

🐊 People existing in the wrong bodies / bodies that have been altered (and what it means for you to be "you"/how does your body reflect who is on the inside) 🐊 Queerness

Wrote about this more in-depth in this post, but to keep things short; Thriller Bark, Punk Hazard, Dressrosa and Wano all heavily featured characters who have had their bodies either temporarily or permanently altered, sometimes with the person's consent and sometimes without it. Not to mention all the various characters through out the series who have gone through similar things, like Franky, Kuma as well as Brook, among countless others. As well as every Devil Fruit user who can transform their body (including every single Zoan user). People, the way they inhibit their bodies and the freedom to be who you are is very important to One Piece. That is already a very queer-coded narrative, but then we also have explicitly queer characters. Queer characters, who have been deeply important to the story, and whose presence has become more and more prevalent with time. Not to mention how queerness in general has been "escalating" over the course of the story. There's this video from Berry for A Thought on YouTube which explains this more in-depth, but to summarize the most important observation from the video; we have slowly gone from Kuina wishing she had been born a man, to non-binary drag queens (first one being able to temporarily change their own bio-sex by turning into someone else, to the second one being able to change anyone's bio-sex permanently), to two pre-transition transgender characters. All we really need for this escalation to reach its "peak" is if we had a (named, non-background) transgender character who has already transitioned. Unsurprisingly, Crocodile could fill that role really nicely.

🐊 Loneliness

Loneliness is generally speaking a very important theme in One Piece, as it's on the opposite side of coin with friendship on it. So many of our main characters have suffered for years from loneliness, by being ostracized and rejected by their communities, abandoned by their families, sometimes suffering for decades for the sake of their loved ones because they had promises to keep. Luffy himself considders loneliness to be most painful, scary thing imaginable.

Loneliness is something queer people struggle with. A lot. Being rejected by your loved ones for who you are is a painful, common experience for many. It alone can keep many queer people in the closet for years and decades, because the fear of being left alone and abandoned is too much to bear. Some people are accepting of queers but only as long as they stay "over there", pulling a full 180 when a family member comes out. Some people only ""accept"" trans people as long as they don't transition. And while some people may appear to be accepting of you when you come out or are early into your transition, many (trans men especially) lose friends and support the more they start to pass. Crocodile does not trust people. He set up base in Alabasta sometime around the age of 30, meaning he spent around 14 years by himself (until he recruited Robin), unable to trust anyone. That's a long time to be alone. Of course, there may have been a practical side to why Crocodile chose to spend over a decade in utter emotional solitude. If he was scheming to take over a country, then having anybody close who could leak his plans out and foil them would be dangerous. Hell, it's exactly what happened thanks to Robin. But having your significant other destroy your ability to trust people and then isolating yourself to avoid further heartbreak and "betrayal" could be another, potential reasoning as to why Crocodile chose solitude.

🐊 Two failed weddings and one relationship that never was

In Thriller Bark we witnessed Nami almost get married off to Absalom. On Whole Cake Island, we almost saw Sanji get married into Big Mom's family. During Egghead arc, we saw how Kuma never got to have the relationship with Ginny he had yearned for deep inside. I already mentioned Crocodile's missing ring. How his relationship with Dragon might not have worked out because of his transition. How Crocodile's queerness could've lead into solitude, out of distrust. We already have three relationships that never worked out. So how about a fourth one.

🐊 What makes a family (/chosen families) 🐊 Family reunions (with blood-relatives) 🐊 What it's like when your blood-relatives are really horrible people

For the first half of the series, One Piece did very much focus on the concept of chosen families, as most of the Strawhats grew up with non-blood relatives that they all considdered just as much family as their actual blood relatives (if not more-so); Luffy with Ace and Sabo, Sanji and Zeff, Nami, Nojiko and Béllemere, Chopper and Hiruluk, Franky and Tom's Workers. Chosen families are deeply important to this story. At the same time, a lot of post-timeskip OP has actually revolved around (blood) family reunions. Punk Hazard was about sending the kidnapped children back to their families (as well as Momonosuke to ""his father"" Kin'emon), Dressrosa was about reuniting all the broken families Doflamingo (and his family) had torn apart. Whole Cake Island was about Sanji reuniting with his blood family while being forced into a whole new one, and Wano allowed Momonosuke to reunite with his sister (and Kin'emon with his wife). On Egghead we've gotten to see the gutwrenching reunion between Bonney and Kuma, and we are all dying to see Luffy meet Dragon eventually. Not to mention all the other reunions many of us are waiting to see, like Shanks and Buggy, Moria and Perona. Luffy and Garp (currently held hostage by Blackbeard), Mihawk and Zoro. And many others. But indeed, not all the family reunions have been good. Sometimes, the blood relatives have been horrible people. Like Big Mom (to some of her children and husbands), Judge and Kaidou. Sometimes, your blood relatives suck ass.

Needless to say, Sir "I tried to bomb one million people to take over a country" Crocodile is not exactly the greatest guy around. But what might be arguably more important is that... Why is Crocodile a plot-relevant character again, on an emotional level? As I mentioned, characters like Buggy and Mihawk relate to certain characters, so potentially getting to see them reunite with other characters would have emotional weight behind it. Mihawk and Buggy are both relevant characters both to the plot but also on an emotional level, their return to the spotlight makes sense. But then we have Crocodile, a fellow member of Cross Guild. Sure, he's definitely there to help move the plot along, no doubt about that. But emotionally speaking, why the hell is he here again? Is there a character he could "reunite with" that would have that same kind of emotional weight behind it? You could argue Vivi perhaps, but between Vivi hating the man's guts and and Crocodile probably not giving a damn about her, I'm not sure that reunion would have that much emotional weight? Robin on the other hand could be very interesting, considdering she did live under Crocodile's protection for four years until she betrayed him, an action that seemed to have stung Crocodile. That reunion could be deeply interesting.

But you know what this post is about. If Crocodile is Luffy's other dad, then those two coming across each other would suddenly have enormous weight on it even if Luffy himself didn't know about it. Because if Luffy were to find out, Luffy would then have to decide if he'd acknowledge Crocodile as his other dad or disown him. Mind you, Crocodile already knows that Luffy hates his guts for what he did in Alabasta, not to even mention the fact that he tried to kill him three whole times. Luffy has every reason in the world to hate Crocodile. The man surely understands that. But then there's the fact that Crocodile isn't Luffy's mom, but his transgender father. If Dragon rejected Crocodile for being trans, why would his son be any different? Which raises the question, would Crocodile be afraid of that? Of meeting Luffy again? Of Luffy somehow finding out and then getting rejected by him too? How does Crocodile feel about any of this? Now of course, we the readers already know that Luffy canonically loves and respects queer people. Luffy would never look down on Crocodile for him being his dad (the warcrimes are different). But Crocodile doesn't know that. And this is what I mean by there being emotional weight on these two reuniting, as anything that could go down between these two could have massive concequences for Crocodile's character. And please, keep in mind, although Oda hasn't dwelled too deep into the subject in One Piece, there are people who aren't accepting of queers in this world.

This prince, and his entire kingdom, could not accept his mother for who she was. An entire country crumbled because their queen came out as trans. So just like there are accepting families (including Kaidou strangely enough), there are unaccepting, queerphobic ones too. So the fear of rejection would not be unfounded. (Also, if Crocodile and Dragon are divorced then those two coming across each other, especially after The Shit Crocodile pulled in Alabasta, would have a lot emotional weight on it too.)

🐊 The things you are willing to do and sacrifice to protect your loved ones

Shanks gave up his arm for Luffy. Zeff ate his leg so Sanji could have actual food. Béllemere died for her daughters while Nami sacrificed her freedom in an attempt to save her village. Tom gave up his life to protect Franky and Iceburg. Robin attempted to sacrifice her life so the Strawhats could continue their journey in peace. Sanji gave up his freedom for Baratie and the Strawhats. And so many countless more lives, given up for the sake of others.

So people often give Dragon shit for being a "deadbeat dad". I've discussed this in the past, so to keep it short; the World Government went out of its way to hunt an unborn child, hurting countless pregnant women, mothers and newborns while chasing for Gold Roger's son. A child who had "evil blood" and had to be exterminated from the world. Similarly, the World Government went out of its way to put a massive bounty on an eight year old child for the crime of being able to read ancient texts. Dragon would have known and understood that if he ever had a child, as the leader of the Revolutionary Army, his child would become yet another target for the World Government to hunt, just like Ace and Robin did. This should also apply to Crocodile; if the WG found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries they would no doubt strip him of his Shichibukai status and make him a wanted man again. Crocodile's child would thus be in just as much danger, even if the Government didn't realize it was ALSO Dragon's son. If Dragon wanted his son to be free and choose his own path in life, Dragon had to keep his distance from Luffy. The same would apply to Crocodile. Luffy probably ended up in Garp's care, not because his parents didn't want to raise him, but because they wanted Luffy to be free.

But as long as the World Government exists, if they ever found out about Dragon having a son, that child would end up in danger, he could become a target. And the only way to ensure that child's safety would be by eliminating the ultimate threat. The Government.

Now that is the ultimate goal of the Revolutionary Army anyways, something Dragon and co have been working towards for over two decades now. But most of their efforts have gone into freeing small countries by overthrowing corrupt governments and gaining support, little by little. Which is understandable, the WG is impossibly powerful, you can't just walk into Marijoa all willy-nilly, take out the Tenryuubito and free the world, the Government's forces would take you down within seconds. Dragon understands this, which is no doubt why the Revolutionary Army hasn't made a move against Marijoa directly until the latest Reverie. It'd be too risky, and if the Revs were taken down, who would be left to oppose the WG? Their slow approach makes sense. But at the same time, while the Revs did attack Marijoa, destroying the Tenryuubito's food banks and freeing a single slave... as long as the Tenryuubito are allowed to literally stay on top of the world, this attack has done nothing. They're just going to demand more tributes, they're going to enslave more people. It's going to make things worse for those who aren't in power. It's harsh and unreasonable, and I don't agree with them, but I do understand where some fans are coming from when they considder Dragon a "fraud". If you wanted to help free the world from this corrupt rule, then you have to actually strip those in power from their status, otherwise nothing will ever change. You have to actually fight the enemy.

I can not tell you for certain why Crocodile wanted to create "a military nation powerful enough to oppose the World Government", I do not know for sure why he wanted to obtain an Ancient Weapon. But nuking Marijoa out of orbit sure would be a fast way to end the rule of the Tenryuubito, ensure nobody would get hurt by the World Government's corruption and slavery ever again, and make sure your son would never become targetted by them. A line of thought I'm sure Dragon would not have agreed with. But a line of thought Crocodile could believe in.

Remember how we still don't quite know what Cross Guild is up to? How the Shichibukai are based on Romancing SaGa 2's Seven Heroes, a group formed by Wagnas (Crocodile) with the swordsman Noel (Mihawk) by his side to save the world from a great evil? And how Cross Guild has been focusing on hunting down Marines by putting bounties on their heads? Make of that what you will.

🐊 Learning not just to love and trust others but to be loved as well

Robin tried to sacrifice herself not just because she loved the Strawhats, but because she thought she herself was unlovable and did not trust the crew, believing they too would betray her eventually. Sanji tried to sacrifice himself because he thought he was unworthy of being loved. Ace went through most of his life, thinking it would've been better if he had never been born at all. We know Crocodile does not trust people. The logical assumption here is that it's because he was betrayed in the past and had his trust broken. Did he ever have a crew, in his younger pirating days? If so, what happened to them? Did they betray him, leave him? After Whitebeard kicked his ass? Who knows. If Crocodile was in a relationship with Dragon though, it does mean that one point he loved and trusted someone, deeply. So much so they had a child. But if their relationship ended because Crocodile is trans, that would have broken his heart, wouldn't it? Made it hard for him to trust anyone ever again. And what would make you believe you were unlovable more than being rejected by your significant other for being queer. But as I mentioned before; Luffy loves and respects trans people. His affection towards queer characters through out the series is absolutely unmatched (the way he exclusively uses the "-chan" honorific for Bon Kurei, Ivankov and Inazuma, calls Yamato a man, and is far more interested in Okiku's spooky mask than her being trans). What would be a better way for Crocodile to be reminded that he can be loved and that he can trust others than being accepted by his estranged son?

🐊 Inherited Will

In Alabasta we learn Crocodile once had a dream that he gave up upon after learning how strong the most powerful pirates of the Grand Line, the ones standing between him and his dreams, truly were. In Marineford we learn Crocodile lost to Whitebeard in his youth. During Miss Goldenweek's Cover story, we learn Crocodile dreamt of becoming Pirate King.

A dream that he shares with Luffy. An inherited will Luffy carries on.

You know the RPG trope where the final boss is either god or your dad? Yeah. This line really hits different when you shout it at your father.

Now, all of this is fine and dandy, but what does this actually do? How would Crocodile being Luffy's other bio-father add to his character, impact Luffy and the story as a whole?

Now there's no way for me to fully predict how the plot is going to develop through out the Final Saga and what might go down. There's a million moving pieces and a billion potential directions things could go. We could be here forever debating those things. But as I did explain in detail already, if Crocodad Real, it could heavily impact Crocodile's character depending on what does/doesn't happen.

For one, we could have an idea of why Crocodile is a plot relevant character again; if his ultimate goal had always been to destroy the World Government to protect his son at whatever cost, then we might know why he wanted to create Cross Guild to begin with; either create a military force strong enough to fight the WG on their own, or, if nothing else, dwindle down the Government's forces and be a general nuisance that leaves the WG vulnerable (perhaps enough so that the Revolutionaries can do the hard work) and/or unable to spend their resources on hunting down Luffy and the Strawhats. Crocodile could be acting as bait, a distraction to protect his son. There's a few options there. This would also give us an idea of where that Cross Guild plotline could be heading; some people believe CG is there to join the race for One Piece and get defeated by the Strawhats, and that'll be the end of it. But now we would have another option, of Cross Guild joining the expected final war against the World Government together with the Strawhats and the Revolutionary Army. So that's one way Crocodad could impact the story and the general direction its heading.

But then there's the character-side of things, how would Crocodad impact our characters? Now obviously, the three characters that would be most impacted by the theory would be Crocodile, Luffy and Dragon. There's some other characters too, Ivankov (since they didn't know), Robin, potentially some Cross Guild members (could they learn to respect Crocodile more sincerely if they learned that the man did in fact have a heart and something/someone he cared about and wanted to protect?) and maybe even Garp, but realistically, it's the core of the family itself.

Now Dragon already would know about everything so there'd be no Shocking Revelation for him. And based on what we saw him say about Sabo maybe being responsible for Cobra's death at the Reverie, we can make an educated guess that Dragon is Not Happy With What Crocodile Did In Alabasta.

So the two aren't on good terms, probably. Dragon might just be absolutely furious at Crocodile for what he did. Understandable tbh. I guess we're just going to be left wondering if the two could somehow ever reconcile, and whether or not they still love each other deep down, despite all the pain and hurt (and warcrimes) they've gone through.

Then there's Luffy. And I guess everything boils down to two major questions; will Luffy ever find out the truth, and if he does, will that impact how he feels about Crocodile? 'Cause it's entirely plausible the series could end with Crocodad being real and Luffy never finding out. And in that scenario, well, Crocodad could impact those other aspects of the story, just not Luffy. And in some ways that could be fine too. It could still be meaningful for Crocodile (and Dragon) that way. But what if Luffy did find out? Now, mind you, it's already a bit of a mystery how Luffy feels Crocodile as of now in the story; back in Impel Down he still understandably hated the man's guts with a fiery passion, but after Marineford Luffy does kind of owe Crocodile his life after he saved him. And Luffy is generally speaking pretty respectful when it comes to stuff like that. But also Luffy was unconcious when Crocodile yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach, so does Luffy even know Crocodile saved him? (Though surely he would remember Croc sparing Ace and getting guarded from Mihawk) Not to mention, when the Cross Guild reveal happened, the only comments we got about it where Luffy calling Buggy an idiot and Zoro being confused about Mihawk being there. They didn't even acknowledge Crocodile. It was almost like Oda seemed to avoid the subject?

We also need to considder how much would Luffy find out? Just the basics, that his other parent is a trans man and just happens to be Crocodile? Or like, everything? From whatever his plans were with taking over Alabasta to however Crocodile might feel about his sweet baby boy? Because if all Crocodile had wanted to do was protect his son, despite knowing he might never see him again, and if Crocodile did still unconditionally love Luffy despite everything that happened, despite knowing (/assuming) that Luffy already hates him... Well first off, Robin nearly assassinated Iceburg and was willing to let the World Government potentially get their hands on an Ancient Weapon just to protect Luffy and co (on top of all the deaths she helped cause while working for Crocodile, all because she wanted to read the Poneglyph herself). If Luffy was willing to forgive Robin for all that, would he not forgive his dad for doing the same? And Luffy isn't one to dismiss kindness, when people express that they genuinely care about him and his well being Luffy does respect that (even if doesn't fully reciprocate the feelings, like with Hancock). And Luffy has deep emotional intelligence too. If Crocodile was convinced he'd be rejected by Luffy for who he was, especially if that had happened to him in the past to begin with, over something Luffy wouldn't bat an eyelash at (like being trans), like. Luffy wouldn't be shitty about that.

We know Crocodile is a broken, traumatized man. We don't know how much shit he has gone through though, beyond getting his ass beat by Whitebeard and The Divorce. Knowing how Oda likes to layer trauma in character backstories*, there definitely could be more to Crocodile than just those two things, but for the sake of this post, let's just focus on The Divorce. *(Like how Robin was alienated by her community long before the Ohara Genocide, and then spent decades of her life fleeing from the Government, hurt and abandoned by people time and time again. Or how Kuma was born into slavery, lost the love of his life and finally gave up everything he had just to save the life of his daughter. Early OP flashbacks may have been a bit simpler, but as time as gone they have definitely gotten more complex and layered, so I would not be surprised if Crocodile's Full Backstory had like 3+ layers to his trauma)

One important part of One Piece has been teaching/reminding certain characters important lessons, to change their view of the world and make them better people as a result.

Here's some of the messages of One Piece, its beating heart and soul

And of course, sometimes some characters can't have their minds changed, at least not that easily. But their ideals and worldview can always be challenged and proven wrong. This is what happens to many of the villians in the story. Like Moria's ideas of how he shouldn't have to do any of the hard lifting himself and how instead of having friends he can just have replacable zombies instead. Moria's worldview was wrong, and is exactly what led to his downfall in Thriller Bark. Or Spandam and the CP9's ideas of justice, how anything they do can be justified as it is for the "good of the world", including killing innocent civilians. They can do that, because they are "heroes of the world", they are "justice". Needless to say, none of the CP9's actions during Enies Lobby could be considdered "heroic", and, well. If "justice always prevails", then their defeat did prove theirs was a false one. Or how Enel isn't a god, how Doflamingo doesn't have a god given right to rule (neither does Wapol for that matter), how Akainu's ideas of "absolute justice" are monstrous at best, how the way Judge and Big Mom treat their families is not how a family should be like at all.

During Alabasta, Crocodile's plans were foiled because of he didn't trust his underlings with his secret identity and refused to communicate properly with them himself. That one conversation between Crocodile and "Mr. 3" (Sanji) is more or less what allowed the Strawhats to reach Alabasta just in time to stop him. But although distrust is what lead to Crocodile's downfall, he still carries that core belief even now; he still doesn't trust others. Which raises the question, what other beliefs might Crocodile still carry deep inside?

That he can't trust anyone because people will betray and leave him sooner or later? That nobody would ever stay by his side, that nobody will ever love him?

Are those not the exact same core messages of One Piece, the false beliefs that we've seen proven wrong, time and time again?

It really wouldn't be right to end the series without Luffy proving Crocodile wrong once and for all, and make him change his worldview, now would it? But hey, the good news is that there might be no better way to prove Crocodile wrong than to have his son unconditionally forgive him and accept him as his father.

All of this to say; yes, I think if Crocodad was real, it would heavily impact Crocodile's character and whatever character arc he might have. Like I'm not arguing for Crocodad in the name of meme'ing. His whole story could suddenly tie into so many of series' core themes and messages, and tie into our main character in a meaningful way. It could impact heavily where the story as a whole is heading.

The other, more likely option is that Crocodad isn't real and that I have lost my marbles thinking I was onto something with this post. In the end, time will be the judge of that. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed my utter derangement.

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #Crocodad #If you've been following me for long enough and read most of my daily CrocoPosting then this is mostly repeating shit I've already posted #But there is also some shit that's like. I can't remember if I posted it or if it's still rotting in my drafts unfinished #This is. So obscenely long. Good dear god.#But this is it. This is my fucking thesis.#My Brain is Soup

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ocelettelatte · 7 months

Text

How are they when they do your hair?

Includes: Gojo, Nanami, Geto, Choso, Toji x Curly Hair!Reader. (+Todo Bonus) Author's Note: First and possibly the last post I'll make. Made this just for fun so the characters might be OOC. Self-indulgent, but I did try to make the reader ambiguous. Divider by @/saradika

Gojo

Gojo learns how to do your hair pretty quickly.

He watches you do it once and he’s able to do it almost immediately.

He’ll go all out for you. That hairstyle you saw online? Boom you got it.

That one hair product you wanted but were always told you needed some kind of license to get it? I don’t know how, but he got it.

Your hair gets the slightest bit messed up and he’s pissed for you. Just straight whiny about it.

Has given you mini heart attacks before. “My bad I messed up, we gotta go bald.” while braiding your hair...

Buys all kinds of charms and accessories for your hair.

While he knows you shouldn’t do it often, he actually likes your hair straight. It always amazes him how long your hair actually is.

He also loves curl-defining. Going one by one curling each ringlet with his finger is oddly satisfying to him.

Definitely uses all of your products. When you ask about it, he’ll deny it.

Nanami

Nanami likes your hair however you like it. braids, twists, dreads, loose, straightened, wigs, short. If you’re happy with it then he’s happy.

If you ask him to do your hair, he’ll keep it simple. Nothing too flashy but not too basic.

He does this because he always feels bad when you have the prettiest hairstyles, knowing you’ve spent hours on it and it just gets messed up because of your line of work.

The face you make when you tell him it’s fine always tugs at his heart.

However, this doesn't mean he won't give you a glamorous hairstyle for date nights.

Nanami has bought little charms for you to put in your hair and keeps everything you leave at his place in a little basket.

Helps you with your hair when you’re getting ready for bed.

Buys a silk pillowcase just for you.

If he sees you're running out of product he'll use the last of it and buy you new ones.

If there's a particular product you have to order online, Nanami knows exactly when to order said product.

Geto

You always let the twins do your hair, Nanako being the most interested in it. You see it as a learning experience for them.

However, You never let Geto touch your hair. You weren’t too fond of his choice of words when referring to non-sorcerers.

After a bit of warming up to one another, you finally allowed him to do your hair.

Geto absolutely loves braiding your hair.

I’ve always thought that Geto might have picked up on some mundane hobbies once he started his cult. One of those hobbies being Ikebana. Which is why he loves hair braiding.

After learning how many intricate things you could do with this style, it would become his go-to thing.

He has the gentlest hands when doing hair.

With permission, he would put flowers in your hair. Sometimes he’ll go the extra mile of getting you to wear a Hakama or Kimono just to tie the whole look together.

Granted, he knows that he has to give your scalp a break. On those days he actually likes your hair loose.

Choso

All of his experiences doing hair have only been on himself. So when he meets you, he learns so much about his and your hair.

Unfortunately, Choso is scared to touch your hair. The last time he did he tangled it pretty badly.

He is so gentle that things end up getting loose and he has to start over.

Still learning all the different hairstyles. Confuses twists for dreads.

Constantly asking if you’re okay and making sure that he’s not hurting you.

Sometimes he hesitates when doing your hair and you reassure him that he’s doing fine.

Either uses too much product or not enough. There’s no in-between.

If you ask him to buy shampoo and conditioner, he'll get a little overwhelmed and come back with three in one.

Loves giving you any hairstyle that has twin tails. He also likes to put little ribbons in your hair sometimes.

Toji

“Stop moving your damn head.” Kind of vibes.

Definitely rough and says that he’s not.

Most definitely would pop you with the comb.

All jokes aside, Toji is pretty good at doing your hair. Though it’s like pulling teeth trying to convince him to do it.

Prefers if you’ve done whatever you needed to your hair so he can style it however.

Toji doesn’t have a favorite style for you. At the end of the day, it’s just hair to him.

Your accessories are floating around his place. He even stepped on one.

Here's a bonus because Toji was so short!

Todo

Todo definitely has everything he needs to do your hair. Unfortunately, just like that one hair lady in your life, he’s hard to get a hold of.

This Takada mega fan will cancel on you when he finds out there’s an event in the area. Those days you’ve contemplated going bald…

The only reason why you keep going back to him is because he's so damn good at it. It’s just one-on-one... and the occasional mentions of Takada, but you can deal with that.

Has tried to convince you to lock your hair a handful of times.

Gave you starter locks to see if you like it. If you don’t he’ll do whatever you like.

“Stop being so tender-headed.”

"HOW!?"

He’s not gentle but he’s not rough either.

Silk. Pillow. I’m confident that he owns at least one.

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utahimeow · 2 years

Text

enamoured — kenma kozume

summary — kenma takes you to his company event, but neither of you really want to be there.

pairing — kenma x f!reader

warnings — nsfw content minors dni! smut with lots of fluff, fingering, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, established relationship

word count — 5.7k

author’s note — this is just kenma and reader being disgustingly in love like its so gross and cheesy pls don’t perceive me

There aren’t many things that Kenma likes to put effort into.

He likes his job. He doesn’t have to do much except sit in his room and play video games while thousands of people watch. There’s volleyball–sometimes he wonders how he played it for so long without quitting. He loved the sport, but god, it made him tired. His appearance is… lacklustre. He probably could do something more with his style, but what’s the point if he’s not comfy?

You’re the single thing he often finds himself putting effort into. Not that you’re high-maintenance, or needy (although he would argue otherwise). It’s that he’s never cared so much about anything in his life as he cares about loving you.

It was scary at first. Kenma couldn’t fathom that he was capable of having feelings like that. You consumed him long before he had even asked you to be his. It’s still scary. Sometimes he feels so much for you that he has no idea how to express it–he’s never had the chance. He tries though, and hopes you understand. Sometimes you don’t. Most times you do.

The only reason he’s going to the event tonight is because you’re coming with him. He couldn’t care less about meeting the strangers who invest in his company, even if without them his company wouldn’t exist. He couldn’t care less about meaningless praises about his success, or being sucked up to by people he won’t see for another year.

He’ll never admit it, but in a way he’s glad you’re too stubborn to give in to staying home. Before you, he wouldn’t have cared about how impolite it would be to ditch his own event. Now he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he had to watch you be disappointed in him for ditching. Besides, the designer dress he bought you is far too pretty to be left sitting in the closet. If not out of genuine interest, he’ll at least go so he can show you off a little.

When the taxi reaches the venue, Kenma offers his hand to you as you step out of the car–or rather, he requests your hand in his. Despite being twenty minutes late already, he takes slow strides towards the front entrance, but it’s not because he’s afraid you’ll fall behind in your platform heels (he knows you’re quite efficient in them).

Once you make it to the hall that’s reserved especially for the event, Kenma halts just before entering. His face is straight as always, and even his eyes give away nothing, but this is Kenma Kozume. The man who can spend days on end without leaving your shared apartment unless it’s really urgent. Often you’re the only person who he sees for weeks at a time. Therefore, his next words don’t really come as a surprise–

“Don’t go anywhere, please.”

Still, they undoubtedly make your heart swell. You squeeze his hand, stepping closer to him to tuck a strand of loose, half-blond half-brown hair behind his ear. It’s mostly pulled back into a looped bun that you helped him style, but there are stray strands falling around his eyes, making it much more suited to him.

“The only reason I’m here is for you, Ken-Ken,” you say, and you giggle when his nose scrunches at the nickname. “You just have to be Kodzuken until your social battery dies, and then we can go home.”

“My social battery’s already dead,” he says, smug as always.

You roll your eyes playfully, letting your fingers brush against his neck as you adjust his tie that doesn’t need adjusting.

“Well, it’s just a couple hours, and I’ll be with you the entire time,” you assure him, not missing the way his eyes drop to sweep down your body–lingering on the neckline of your dress that’s teasingly low. He chews on the inside of his lip, his honey eyes gleaming and for a moment, there’s clarity in his expression.

Without another word, Kenma shoves his hands in the pockets of his pressed dress pants, waits for you to grab hold of his arm like he knows you will, and makes his entrance. He doesn’t make much of an effort to fix his posture, or introduce himself, only plasters a small smile onto his face and waits until people start to notice him.

It’s Kenma’s manager, Teppei Kishimoto, who finds you two first. Good thing, too. He’s one of the small number of people your boyfriend tolerates, and it’s because he does… basically everything for Kenma. Not in a pushover way, though. It’s more of a ‘gets shit done’ way. With him, Kenma’s learned to regret slacking off.

“Surprised you showed up at all, Kozume,” Teppei says, clapping a hand down on Kenma’s shoulder, charming as ever. He’s close enough to both of you now that he’s become more of a friend than a manager, but he’s good enough at his job to still keep things professional.

“I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for her,” he admits and tilts his head towards you, to which you scoff, smiling gently as Teppei pulls you in for a hug.

“Thank you for organising everything. You did amazing,” you say. He quite literally organised everything. From booking the venue to emailing out invites to hiring caterers, he made sure Kenma didn’t lift a finger.

“Come on, there’s people waiting to talk to you,” Teppei says, dragging Kenma towards a small crowd of guests. Gently you let go of his arm, trailing a few inches behind them instead. Kenma flicks his head back momentarily in search of you, just to assure himself that you’re still there.

The next while goes like this: Teppei introduces Kenma to some investors, Kenma introduces you as his girlfriend, you make small talk (though Teppei does most of the talking) until Kenma gets excused in order to talk to a different group of investors. It’s a lot of nodding along, laughing at jokes that aren’t that funny, and business talk. Safe to say you don’t have much to contribute, but you’re happy to be there.

On one side of the hall, there’s a table filled with champagne flutes, so you tug at your boyfriend’s arm and lean into his ear.

“I’m just grabbing a glass of champagne. Do you want some?” He hardly ever drinks and if he does it’s beer bottles, but you offer anyway–a little alcohol might help loosen him up, especially with how stiff he is under your touch.

“No, thanks,” he replies. You nod, giving his bicep a squeeze before heading towards the drinks. As you turn away you catch a tinge of pink on his cheeks which in turn makes warmth spread through your own body and a tiny grin stretches your lips.

Kenma looks ridiculously good–it almost annoys you. It’s a shame he doesn’t put effort into his appearance more often, especially when all he’s done tonight is tied his hair back into a neater-than-usual bun and put on a tailored suit. Maybe it’s better for your health though. You can barely control yourself when he’s in his ripped sweatpants and ten-year-old hoodies.

You’re not sure how long you can keep it together tonight, though. The way his pants hug his slim legs and how his jacket follows the curve of his waist makes you bite down on your bottom lip, wishing it was his skin you were biting down on. His usual garb never shows off anything–his legs, small waist, wider shoulders. The only time they’re on display is when he’s inside you.

With a deep breath and a dull warmth between your legs, you pluck a flute of champagne from the table before sidling back over to Kenma, staying true to your promise.

You’re like a tick the way you stay glued to him, but he leans into your touch–appreciates it.

Eventually, his muscles tense up once more when Teppei offhandedly mentions that Kenma will be making a speech. He turns to you immediately, a hint of panic in his eyes.

“It’ll only be a few words, just to thank patrons for showing up,” Teppei assures him, knowing his client. “Don’t worry.”

Still, there’s not much resolve on your boyfriend’s face.

“Babe, you talk in front of hundreds and thousands of people daily. There’s only like a hundred tonight,” you reason.

“Yeah, but my stream viewers aren’t… real,” he says. It makes you chuckle. He’s told you before that in his mind, he can’t fathom the fact that his viewers are real people. Therefore, he can’t be anxious about streaming.

“It won’t take more than… thirty seconds. That’s all,” Teppei says. You nod your head, agreeing, but Kenma’s face remains troubled.

You lean into his ear again, bringing your voice to a whisper. “After you do it, we’ll go home, okay? You look too good in this suit. I can't take it anymore.”

He chews on the inside of his cheek, swallowing as his eyes become distant. The cogs in his brain begin to turn. Teppei raises a brow at you, but he doesn’t say anything. He can’t, not when Kenma, of his own accord, begins to make his way up to the small stage on top of which a podium stands.

Kenma stands there, with his shoulders hunched and his hands tucked into his pockets. He’s not doing anything, yet you so badly wish you were on your knees in front of him.

“Hello,” he says, flat as always. His voice is swallowed by the din of the crowd, but slowly it grows quieter as the guests take notice of his presence, until finally it dies into a complete silence.

“I’m Kenma Kozume. I’m the CEO of Bouncing Ball corporation,” he says. He stares down at the microphone mostly, his cat eyes only flicking up ever so often. You’re smiling like a proud mother regardless, mostly because of the excitement that’s starting to overtake you when you think about how soon you’ll have him all to yourself.

“Thank you for coming tonight, um, I appreciate seeing you all. I wanna thank my manager, Teppei Kishimoto, for organising this event,” he says, before his eyes land on your smiling face. Your eyes, however, flash with want when you bat your lashes. Kenma has half a mind to thank you in his speech–for what? Maybe for being pretty.

He clears his throat, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from you before he gets down on one knee and proposes. “I’m grateful for all of your investments and support. My company wouldn’t be where it is without you all. So… I hope you all have a good night, and thanks. Again.”

He finishes with a curt nod, bolting from the stage as the room fills with polite applause. His gaze is locked directly on you, so determined it almost scares you. He doesn’t halt when he makes it to your side, intertwining his fingers with yours and making a beeline for the door with you in tow.

“Wait, my champagne,” you whine, tossing it down your throat so you can leave the glass on a nearby ledge.

It’s a good thing the guests have mostly resumed their own conversations, hopefully too engrossed to notice. Unfortunately you have no doubt that Teppei notices–Kenma will deal with him eventually. An earful from his manager is worth it.

There’s a taxi five minutes away when Kenma requests it outside of the event building.

You nuzzle into his neck, no longer so cautious about being modest. You’re just proud of yourself that you managed to not tear his clothes off in front of everyone.

“You did so good, Ken,” you purr against him, dotting a kiss just above the collar of his shirt.

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” he says with a sly grin that’s barely there.

When the taxi arrives, Kenma helps you into the backseat and follows you inside. His hand settles onto your thigh, seemingly innocent, but the contact spreads a fire through your every muscle.

When you’re dripping with want, the ride feels like an eternity. You stare out the window the entire time and fiddle with the hem of your dress, an attempt to keep yourself sane until you get home. You wonder if Kenma is struggling the same as you, though you guess the way he dragged you out of his event says everything.

You make it home, finally, after thirty minutes which felt more like three hours. Kenma pays the driver, tips him too, then he walks you back to the house with a hand on your lower back.

The minute you get inside, your hands cling to the fabric of his blazer, pulling his face to yours–until he stops you. Your face drops, eyebrows pinching together and lips morphing into a pout.

“You can wait until we get to the bedroom,” he says, though in the moment it comes out more gentle than stern.

You huff, pulling your heels off as Kenma makes his way upstairs after already toeing his shoes off. You’re not sure if you’re the impatient one or him right now.

You tiptoe up the stairs, to your bedroom where Kenma’s sitting on the bed in anticipation. His eyes light up when he sees you again and he beckons you over with a flick of his hand. Your hands become clammy as you pace over to him to stand in between his legs, allowing him to gaze up at you from below.

You look beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning. Every word that’s synonymous that Kenma can think of–is you. Of course, he thinks these things every single day, whether you’re groggy first thing in the morning or wearing a sheet mask with a cat ear hairband keeping your hair out of your face. But he hardly ever sees you like this. Dressed to the nines, all dolled up with glamour.

Yours. He has to remind himself. She’s all yours.

Maybe he’ll hold more company events. He’ll buy you a new dress for every one. Dresses that cling perfectly to your form and sit perfectly against your skin and make him want to melt into you and become one.

Kenma’s hands trace along the curves of your waist as you stand between his knees. He gazes up at you with a softness unlike anything you ever see from him, fingertips moving like he’s touching you for the first time. Unfortunately for him, you’re far too impatient for that. You bend forward, pulling him in by his tie so you can finally mould your gloss-coated lips to his. It’s soft, even as he presses his tongue into your mouth and tastes the lingering champagne you’d been drinking earlier. Already your knees weaken. Your entire face grows warm. His kisses are always overflowing with the affection he can’t tell you through words.

Your hands move of their own accord when you start to undress him. First, you push his blazer over his shoulders, helping him shrug it off before it lands on the hardwood. You’re crawling over him, kissing him with growing fervour, urging him back against the bed as your fingers make work of the tie you had tied for him and then the buttons of his shirt. As soon as his shirt is out of the way, your palms meet his smooth torso, sliding all the way up his chest until you’re clinging to his shoulders.

In return, Kenma’s lithe hands find the zipper of your dress, pulling it down gently, dragging the straps down your arms. You stand, letting the too-expensive garment fall until it pools around your feet. Kenma sits up, reaching behind you once more so he can unhook your strapless bra.

With your breasts exposed, Kenma’s gaze burns into you. It’s amazing how, even after years of being with him, you still crumble. It doesn’t help that his eyes are so revealing. There’s hunger in the way he takes you in, drinks you up until he’s intoxicated– he hasn’t even got to feel you yet. Lust swims in pools of gold, so overwhelming that you want to shrink, but then your chest swells with pure confidence. You have a man staring at you like you’re a deity, like he wants to give you the world (he would).

He tugs you gently by your wrist and you let yourself tumble towards the bed, where immediately Kenma props himself above you and his lips ambush your neck. You gasp as your lower belly erupts into tingles just from the way he licks and suckles softly at your skin, his lips soft and warm, each kiss telling you the same thing.

You jolt when his fingertips press against your cunt through your panties. He draws slow circles, but not to tease–he’ll work you up, nice and gradual, until you’re utterly dripping for him. Every motion of the pads of his fingers is deliberate, practised and perfected through all the years he’s had the chance to worship you. He’s adapted–evolved, even–to your body, becoming an expert in the things that make you writhe.

“Kenma…” you sigh while his mouth nibbles on your collarbone. And just like that, his fingers dip past the band of your panties, because for some reason tonight he’d rather die than not give you exactly what you want. Most nights he’s mean and relentless, refusing to give into your sweet pout and your wet, teary eyes, getting hard to the sound of your desperate, needy pleas like a sadist (and that’s a conversation he’s been thinking about how to bring up). Tonight, though, he’s giving you everything you want.

He touches your clit, pressing down as he rubs it in circles, still taking his time despite how his body is screaming for him to pin you down and stimulate you until you’re crying his name. He drags his fingertips through your silky folds, along your slit, grinning against your skin when he finds that you’re utterly drenched. It’s only ever been him that can make you wet this effortlessly, but it makes sense when everything he’s learned, he’s learned from you.

Kenma never cared enough about having a partner–too preoccupied with his hobbies–until you came along and decided to worm your way into every aspect of his life. Not that he would have stopped you, anyway. Being his first for everything meant that he never had to question “will she like this?” or “will she hate it?”, only you telling him precisely what you wanted him to do with you, and him doing that, and going beyond it too.

Kenma smears your slick all over your cunt and your entire faces grows hot because he’s so fucking lewd. He rubs it a few more times, then sinks two of his fingers into your hole and curls them up until he finds the sweet spot that has you moaning for him. At the same time, his lips latch onto one of your nipples and his free hand reaches up to squeeze your other breast, and already you think you’re starting to lose your grip on your sanity.

You hum as Kenma’s fingers glide in and out of your entrance. He’s patient, uncharacteristically so, dragging his digits along your walls like he’s only greeting them.

“More,” you keen, twisting your hand into the sheets below you. Heat pools in your belly, and though it’s hardly more than a flicker so far, you’re desperate. “Please, wanna cum…”

He pulls off your hardened nipple to scoff at you, but it’s far from genuine hostility.

“Stop being pushy,” he says, and for a moment his mouth twitches with a grin before he wraps his lips around the bud again.

You can only respond with a moan as he pushes his fingers back inside you, all the way until he’s knuckle-deep in your pussy this time and it’s so good that you give a long, airy whine. Your noises as he continues open you up on his fingers are so cute, he thinks. Sweet, honeyed moans that shoot straight down to his cock. He’s been hard for a while now, probably as soon as he stepped foot inside the front door, and since then his need has been building and building, and all he can think is how dizzying it’ll be when he can finally sink into the warmth of your cunt.

You’re practically dripping down Kenma’s wrist. Every push and pull of his fingers hits the perfect spot over and over, your toes curling and your fists clenching where they’re buried in the sheets. Arousal drools from your hole, slick, wet noises filling the air from your boyfriend’s ministrations. His lips smack as he sucks on your tits, watching them jiggle like a sick man every time pulls off one with a wet pop. He doesn’t even realise he’s moaning. It’s so quiet that it’s barely audible over the sound of your pussy, but the vibrations travel from the back of his throat to your skin as he licks and nibbles on you.

Feeling the way your pussy clenches around his digits, Kenma picks up the pace, shifting his position and now his cock, achingly hard, is pressed against your thigh. He’s flicking his wrist so brutally now that his entire arm moves and your body moves with it against his chest.

“R-right there, Kenma!” You’re panting, your hips bucking greedily in search of even more stimulation–all you need is a little more. “Please, I’m gonna cum,” you whine, unashamed in your begging.

“Yeah? All for me?” Kenma mutters, nuzzling his nose into your neck so he can nip at your skin again–he knows it drives you wild, and it does.

Within seconds, your pussy’s pulsing around Kenma’s fingers and a long moan pulls itself from your throat. Your muscles turn taut, your orgasm washing over you in ebbs that make your legs tremble.

“Pretty,” he remarks, pulling his fingers out slowly to rub your swollen clit. Then he brings them to your lips which part instinctively, and they wrap around them, and you suck. He presses down on your tongue, glazed eyes piercing into your dazed and shiny ones as he watches you swallow the taste of yourself.

“So pretty,” he reaffirms, then slides his digits out of your mouth and leans in to press his lips to yours. His tongue licks into your mouth, lapping up whatever is left behind because he’s parched and he’s selfish and he’s desperate to get a taste of you too.

Despite how your body is still limp and recovering from your first climax, you paw at Kenma’s crotch, shoving against him until he’s leaned back on his elbows and you’re the one who’s above him.

Now that you can see his face, you find that his cheeks are the prettiest shade of pink and his lips are glossy and a little puffy.

“Can I suck your dick, please?” you ask with your hand already halfway down his dress pants.

Kenma chuckles, low and sexy. He brings his hand to your burning cheek and strokes a thumb over your wet lips. He’s not thinking anything, just… admiring. Mine–that’s all he’s thinking. His cock jumps as you palm him through his boxers. In an instant he melts, not just from your touch, but from how pliant you are, how politely you asked him as though you even need permission, as though he wouldn’t destroy the planet just to feel your lips around his dick.

“Go ahead, baby,” he says with the last shred of control he has of his voice. After this, he’ll be a goner.

You scurry to pull his pants and boxers down his legs, letting him shuck them off while your hand wraps around his blushing cock. It’s enough to make his abdomen clench, though he’s always been sensitive. Your thumb grazes his slit where beads of precum ooze out and he hisses when you smear it down his length, gazing at him through your eyelashes as you start to pump your hand up and down. Leaning forward, you let a drop of spit dribble onto him, revelling in the way he throbs against your hand.

Your mouth starts to water at your boyfriend’s pretty, slicked-up cock. You think you’ve both had enough of your teasing, so you’re bending forward to drag your tongue from his base all the way to his swollen tip, flicking your tongue over the mushroom head. It’s all for show–one he doesn’t really even need right now seeing as he’s already two seconds away from releasing all over your face.

There’s a devious gleam in your eyes when you wrap your lips around him, sucking on the tip just a little. He’s gasping, fingers flying to the roots of your hair, and excitement boils inside you.

Your hand pumps him up and down at his base, over the tiny veins that decorate his length. Slowly your mouth works more and more of him every time you bob your head. Tears brim your eyes when you have the entirety of his cock shoved down your throat, eyes blurring with every movement.

Kenma is still, watching you take him down your little throat despite how much it resists, despite how you near-gag each time, despite how it cuts off your oxygen. He reaches forward, swiping his thumb at the corner of your mouth where a mixture of your saliva and his precum drools. He doesn’t realise he’s got his bottom lip tucked between his teeth and a dazed look in his eyes. All he knows is he’d do anything for you.

Kenma tosses his head back. He thinks if he keeps looking at you he’ll just blow–not yet, he can’t. He hasn’t even gotten to feel your pussy yet. He scrunches his eyes shut, taking steady breaths, until all that his mind can comprehend is the way your hot, slippery mouth wraps around his sensitive dick.

The ceiling above him spins as his cock bumps the back of your throat. Heat boils in your own belly, your eyes flicking up to catch his Adam's apple bobbing, one of his hands fisting into the sheets while the other tangles into your hair. His hips rut into your mouth absentmindedly, in tandem with your own as you search for stimulation again.

His thighs sting when your nails sink into his skin, shooting pinpricks of pleasure to his throbbing cock and he gasps. Any longer and it’s over, so he steadily pulls you off him by the roots of your hair, mesmerised by the webs of spit and precum that follow your lips as he does.

“I wanna be inside you now,” he says, a near growl that makes you shiver because it almost doesn’t sound like him. He tugs your face in towards his and kisses you with hunger, fingertips digging into your scalp as he holds you in place by your head.

You moan into his mouth, your entire body hot with desire. “Want you to fuck me, Kenma.”

He pulls away from your mouth fully, yanking your head back just an inch but it’s enough to make you yelp. He makes sure you’re staring straight into his eyes. Wants you to see how they’re darkening. You shudder under his stare, heart pounding, like you’ve done something wrong–you have. Forgotten a singular syllable.

“Please, Kenma. Fuck me, please.”

He gives a small, satisfied huff, pressing his lips to yours again for a fleeting moment–‘good job’. Kenma leans back then, sprawls himself out against the pillows at the top of the bed and pats his thighs.

“Come ‘ere,” he says, softly. You crawl over and settle yourself into his lap, his arms looping around your waist immediately as your crotch grinds against him.

Impatient, you reach between your sweat-slicked bodies to wrap your hand around his cock. Kenma dips his head to your chest, pressing wet kisses to your skin as you arch your back a little and guide him to your entrance, sighing when you start to sink down on him. He gives a tiny groan from the back of his throat as your pussy swallows him, inch by inch, until finally he’s fully seated inside you.

Your nails dig into his shoulder blades, your walls clamping around him and adjusting to the stretch. Being filled with him like this always knocks the breath out of you, makes you hungry for more and neither of you have even moved yet. It’s then that you shimmy your hips slightly and, in one fluid motion, rise up and drop back down in his lap.

“Fuck,” he pants, barely audible.

“Feels so good,” you hum, grinding your hips against him steadily, revelling in the way he pulses against your soft walls.

With your arms wrapped around one another, you quickly start to lose yourself. Your brain turns foggy, and all you know is your boyfriend’s flesh meeting yours, his length pressing deep into you and grazing everything sensitive. Your soft, whimpering noises are out of your control, and they’re music to Kenma’s ears.

His mouth lands on your chest, his puffy lips pressing soft kisses to your tits before he sinks his teeth into your skin ever so gently. A laugh bubbles in your throat, one that’s simultaneously half a moan.

“What?” he whispers, ghosting his fingers along your spine.

“You never let me do that,” you pout, thighs beginning to burn as you continue to bounce up and down in your boyfriend’s lap. You’re struggling to keep up the pace, clinging to Kenma a little harder with each plunge.

“You’re so annoying,” he says, strained, but when you look at his face his eyes are clouded over with affection.

You’re about to tease him again, but the next second, Kenma grasps you by your waist and flips you onto your back, all while staying seated inside you. In an instant your legs hook around his torso and he’s slamming his twitching cock into your cunt with abandon.

For a moment your mind blanks from the suddenness of it all. Kenma grazes the spot deep inside you that makes your back curve off the mattress, your chest pressing up against his and your legs tightening around his waist like letting go of him would mean death.

Your hands snake around the back of his neck, just holding him. His irises are brimming with everything–awe, tenderness, love.

He loves you. He’s not sure about a lot of things, but that’s the one thing he is sure of.

Kenma’s not just fucking you anymore. He’s connected with you, falling into you further and further with every thrust. And he’s indulging–when a soft, high moan leaves his mouth, he doesn’t stop it.

He rests his forehead against yours, hips still meeting yours with a small smack each time. His breath mingles together with yours, and for a moment he feels your soul touch his.

“Kenma…” you sigh, eyes brimming with tears as you grow desperate for release. The fire deep in your core burns so intensely, the heat spreading to your fingertips.

“I know,” he says, voice cracking as your walls clamp down on him, begging him to go deeper, pleading with him for more.

He obliges, angling his hips in a way that lets his cock drag against where you’re most sensitive, and that’s when you cry out. Kenma watches your eyes roll back, gazes at you as your face morphs into bliss, feels the hot pulsing of your cunt around him as you finally reach your climax.

Kenma’s thrusts stutter just a little from the sudden tightness of your walls, then your nails are dragging down his smooth back and he’s giving another obscene moan, one that turns his cheeks red. He drops to his elbows, still above you but now his head makes his home by the shell of your ear.

The breathy groans and whines he lets out send shivers down your spine, and that’s when you know he’s gone. He’s completely engulfed in pleasure, desperately chasing release. He groans your name out in a near-chant, and you reach up to rake your nails along his scalp at the nape of his neck–one of his weak spots.

“Fuck… fuck,” he sighs, voice breathy, his cock ramming relentlessly against your cervix. He’s abandoned all semblance of tenderness now, overtaken by a hungry, selfish urge. It’s contagious too, seeping from his skin into yours, leaving you aching to be filled up.

“Cum for me, Kenma?” you whimper over his ragged breathing, tugging at the roots of his hair. “Wanna feel you..”

“Y-yes, oh God,” he groans. “Gonna give you all of it, gonna make you all mine.”

Then with a few more trusts of his hips and a strained moan, he lets go inside you, warmth blooming through you with every spurt that dribbles into you. His pelvis is pushed flush against yours as he burrows himself as deep as he can inside you, like he’s trying to combine your bodies together. His teeth clamp down on your shoulder, a little harder than usual, as he ruts his twitching cock into you until he’s too sensitive to move.

Only a moment passes before Kenma reaches up to press his lips to yours. It’s so soft that each of you barely moves your lips, satisfied with just the sensation of one another.

“I love you,” you murmur into his skin.

“Love you,” he replies, words that are few and far between for Kenma, but when they come, you believe him with every fibre that’s in you.

Slowly he pulls out of you, both of you wincing, you at the emptiness and him at the loss of warmth. The sticky fluid that oozes out of you is a problem for later. Now, you’re both craving the same thing–to be tangled together. Kenma shifts to your side, still close, still searching for contact when his arm wraps around your waist and he buries his face into your hair and breathes in your scent.

There’s a buzz from the night stand–Kenma’s phone, more specifically.

“Could you grab it?” he asks. You do. And when you pick up his phone, the screen is lit up with a single text from his manager Teppei:

‘We need a word.’

You burst into laughter. Kenma’s grinning. He can’t find it in him to be bothered by it. He’s too busy thinking about what kind of ring he should get you.

dedicated to my hot sexy betas @ushiwhacka and @tetsutits <3

#kenma smut #kenma kozume smut #kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #kenma kozume imagine #kenma fanfic #kenma imagine #kenma kozume fanfic #haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu imagine #hq imagine #haikyuu x you #haikyuu fanfic #꒰ lovers. ꒱ — kenma

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joongernaut · 1 year

Text

glitter

⇢ pairing(s): park seonghwa x reader

⇢ genres: childhood friends to almost strangers to lovers, SMUT, fluff, a little angst but literally just a smidge

⇢ warnings: tooth-rotting fluff (i could not help myself with this one), subby-ish seonghwa because we love desperate men around here, oral sex (fem receiving), vaginal sex, cowgirl, reader gets called 'noona' once, creampie (i simply forgot to write in a condom but practice safe sex everyone!)

⇢ word count: 3955

⇢ author's note: well this took a bit longer than expected but i was able to proofread and tie up the loose ends on this fic last night and now here we are! this is also my way of wiggling into writing for ateez more as they are one of my favorite groups 😁 also the song title is based off the song glitter by jamilah barry <3 enjoyyy

✧

“Did you know your little boyfriend is back in town?”

The question stopped you in mid-sip of your cup of tea as you peered over the rim of the mug at your roommate, Hongjoong. He peered back over his own mug with a little smirk on his face and a lift of his eyebrow.

Slowly bringing the mug down you let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, I’ve only heard the news about a hundred times. Kinda hard to forget, y’know,” You bit back with a sarcastic smile, “Also, he was never my boyfriend. Why does everyone keep saying that shit?”

“Hm, I really don't know,” Hongjoong said with a shrug, taking a drawn out sip from his coffee before speaking again, “It’s not like the guy followed you around like a lost puppy before and you let him. Honestly, I’m a little surprised you two didn't tie the knot right after high school, I was so sure you would be childhood sweethearts turned old, disgusting married couple.”

Hongjoong hissed as your foot kicked at his shin from under the table, glaring at him before you finally downed the contents of your mug. “God, you all are so annoying! First, my own family and now you? I don’t care if he’s in town, okay? We haven't talked in like 5 years and I highly doubt that I’d see him anyways. It’s whatever.” You said exasperatedly, chair scraping against the floor as you got up to place the empty mug into the kitchen sink.

“What if you do see him, though?” Hongjoong asked, the question once again catching you off guard. “What if he hasn't forgotten about you in the slightest in those years you two have spent apart?” He pressed on with a pointed look, watching your mouth open and close as you blinked over at him.

Park Seonghwa, from what you recalled years ago, was a very sweet boy.

You remember the first day you had met him, walking into your elementary homeroom class clinging to his mother with a thumb in his mouth and fat tears rolling down his face as he refused to let her go.

You were only 2 years older than him but still had felt the overwhelming need to protect him from any harm. And that's also how you two became close friends.

When Seonghwa would fall down and scrape his knee or elbow, you were there telling him not to cry while dusting him off and helping him get back up. When he wanted to be like the bigger kids, who were taller and strong enough to get on certain parts of the playground, you were there to encourage him and give him a boost. And when his eyes sparkled with curiosity, wanting to learn more about this and that as he gained new interests, you were there to talk and listen to him ramble on and on about anything and everything.

That Seonghwa was the one you hadn’t seen in years. You had been really good friends leading all the way up to high school and then slowly drifted apart during that time. Once college had begun, it was like he dropped off the face of the earth and you didn't hear from him for a while.

It wasn't like you to be stuck on anybody for too long, you watched many people come and go into your life before. But Seonghwa wasn't just anybody and you couldn't help but wonder about the crybaby often and what he had been up to lately.

Okay so maybe you did care just a little bit that he had come back to town. But did it really matter? After all, neither of you really made the effort to reach out to one another after going your separate ways.

You shook your head, pushing those fleeting thoughts away before you reminisced too deeply. “Like I said, I highly doubt it.” You mumbled with a shrug before turning away, a part of you truly doubtful while a sliver of yourself remained hopeful.

✧

You were home alone the very next day. Usually Hongjoong would be the one to stay inside while you were out and about but he had run off to god knows where and he insisted that you stay at the apartment to relax. “Because you deserve it.” He had told you with a wink.

So, naturally, you were suspicious.

Not that Hongjoong was an untrustworthy person or anything but this almost, overly-nice front he had put on since this morning was just a little off-putting. Before you could really begin to question him, he had already flown out of the door and was barely responding to your text messages.

He did make sure to tell you to listen out for the door, however, as he said he was ‘expecting something’. You had almost forgotten about whatever that ‘something’ would be, hours into the afternoon, until you heard the sound of knocking coming from the front door of your apartment.

Dreading on leaving the comfort of your spot on the couch, you heaved a sigh before getting up from your seat and dragged yourself over to the door to answer it. “Hello-” You swung the door open and were immediately greeted by someone's chest in your line of vision. Your eyes traveled upward and you felt your breath catch in your throat.

“Y/N… It’s good to see you again.”

The man before you looked much different from the last time you had seen him. But even with the big and little changes in his appearance and how he seemed to carry himself differently, you could still tell exactly who he was just based on the look in his eyes.

“Seonghwa,” You gaped, still not entirely sure if you were seeing him in front of you or just hallucinating after watching TV all day, “H-How… How did you…?” You trailed off with furrowed brows as he gave you a sheepish look in return.

“Ah, sorry, this is rather impromptu of me. I bumped into Hongjoong a few days ago when I first got back and he mentioned you two were roommates so…” Now it was his turn to trail off as a small blush formed on his cheeks. You mentally cursed at Hongjoong, finally putting the pieces together that he had set this all up. You didn't know whether to kiss him or kill him.

“I see,” You muttered, reminding yourself to shoot the little mastermind a colorfully worded text later, “Well, please, don't be shy. Come in, come in.” You insisted, a smile spreading across your face genuinely as you stepped to the side for him to enter.

Seonghwa smiled back gently, a sight that made your heart soar as you saw a flash of the boy you used to know appear for a split second before he stepped over the threshold.

✧

It had been hours of just talking and catching up with Seonghwa. You had learned that he was finishing up his last year of college soon, reaching to earn his degree in astronomy, and planned to move out of his dorm and into a place of his own nearby. The university he had attended was well out into the city, roughly 8 hours away, meanwhile you had attended your local college in town and graduated with your art degree about a year or so ago.

“Definitely not as cool as studying the stars and planets, though. I’m like the definition of a starving artist.” You chuckled, albeit a bit bitterly, facing Seonghwa as you propped your elbow over the back of the couch and tucked your legs underneath yourself.

Seonghwa had turned to face you as well but a bit awkward in body language, one leg crossed over the other as his hands remained in his lap stiffly. “Ah, it's not all that interesting. Trust me. Once math is involved, then you’ll see what I mean.” He said, earning another laugh from you that made his shoulders less tense and a fond smile spread on his face.

“You were always the artistic type, though. That’s something I’ve always liked and admired about you. Never afraid to be yourself… Just being able to think of something so creatively, from a vastly different perspective than anyone else, and turning it into something so beautiful. That’s always been pretty cool to me.” He went on, leaving you a bit stunned at his words.

“Hwa…” The old nickname slipped from your lips in a whispered tone and his eyes found yours, locking onto them as a few seconds passed by in stretched silence. Seonghwa opened his mouth to speak again, hesitating at first before licking his lips, and asked, “Can I tell you something?”

Words felt like they would fail you right now so you simply nodded for him to continue. Seonghwa swallowed the lump in his throat before speaking again. “I’m really happy that you still remember me. I know that's silly to say because it's only been a couple of years but I wouldn't know how to feel if you acted as if I was a complete stranger…” He said, looking away with an almost pained expression despite the smile still on his face.

“I would never! We were important to each other back then.” You told him, scooting closer to him on the couch as you reached out to place your hand over his own. Seonghwa’s eyes shot down toward the movement, feeling the warmth of you from your body’s proximity and your fingers touching him so delicately, then back up to your face. “And now? He questioned, hopeful, as he placed one of his hands over yours and squeezed.

You squeezed his hand back and sighed. “I was scared of the same thing… that you would forget about me or pretend like you did. Or you would see me and want nothing to do with me so I figured I’d try to avoid you... But after you showed up and we talked, it feels like you never really left at all.” You admitted, feeling Seonghwa subtly shuffle closer to you.

“I thought about you almost all of the time during the years we spent not with each other, Y/N. I don't think I could forget you even if I tried.” He admitted back, similar to the words Hongjoong had said to you the other day. That had to have been something Hongjoong had heard him say when they bumped into each other and you mentally noted to punch the man whenever he got home.

Right now, however, you were going to focus on Seonghwa and what you wanted to do next.

Your hand came up to wrap around the back of his neck and he froze, his body stiffening as you leaned in close until your lips were a breath away from his own. “Tell me if this is okay. I want to show you how important you still are to me.” You murmured, the movement of your lips lightly brushing against Seonghwa’s causing him to exhale shakily.

A quick nod was all the confirmation you needed before diving in, catching his mouth in a deep kiss. You untangled your other hand from his lap and brought it up to join the one around his neck as you pulled him closer, crawling your way into his lap in the process until you were straddling one of his thighs.

Seonghwa’s body shook slightly underneath you, his hands hovering over your sides as if he were hesitating to touch. You pulled away briefly, nibbling at his bottom lip before tugging it and making him groan. “You can touch me.” You said, sensing his hesitation, and started to lick the seam of his parted lips.

He let you in with no resistance, the feeling of your tongue against his wet and probing as his hands gripped onto your waist tightly.

You licked in to Seonghwa’s mouth eagerly as you started to move forward until he was effectively pushed onto his back with ease. Feeling breathless, you parted from his mouth again to catch yourself but started to trail your lips from the side of his face to his neck where you began to bite and suck at the sensitive skin there.

“Y/N…” He gasped before letting out a whiny moan. Your eyes flitted up to his face to take in the sight of Seonghwa— already looking debauched and fucked out, and you barely even started. “What do you want, Hwa?” You mumbled against his skin and he shivered at the sensation.

“Whatever you want. You take the lead. Please.” Seonghwa replied in a strained voice, holding onto you as if you were a lifeline.

When you suddenly pulled away from him and stood up, Seonghwa shot up in panic wondering if he had said something wrong until you put your hand out for him to take wordlessly.

He kept his mouth shut and took it, letting you guide him all the way to your bedroom where you closed the door behind him with a click of the lock, officially sealing your fate together.

“You told me to take the lead, right?” You questioned once you were facing Seonghwa again, slowly approaching him. Your finger traced small shapes onto his chest as you backed him up into the bed, the back of his knees hitting the edge and making him sit down.

His ass hadn't been on the bed for more than 3 seconds before Seonghwa slid off of it and onto his knees in front of you, peering up with wide expectant eyes. “Yes. You can do whatever you want to me, I’ll enjoy anything you give me.” His tone of voice sounded airy as he uttered those words and you couldn't help but run your fingers through his hair as he leaned into your touch.

“You’re already on your knees for me… surely you already had something in mind.” You smirked at him teasingly, watching him shift under your gaze. “Can I…?” He trailed off questioningly as his eyes flickered quickly from your face to the crotch of your sweatpants and back up again. Heat pooled in the pit of your stomach seeing how eager he was to please. Eager to please you.

You tugged your sweatpants down until they dropped unceremoniously onto the floor, kicking away the article of clothing before stepping closer to Seonghwa. His breathing had gotten shallow once his eyes fell onto your panty-covered pussy, the thin layer of the material leaving little to the imagination. The small wet spot he could see near the center made his cock twitch, straining against his pants.

Seonghwa’s hands gently grazed along your ankles first, gradually going higher from there to the back of your knees and up the back up your thighs. A small shiver raked through you when his fingers traced the lining of your underwear, slipping under the band a little as he grabbed ahold of your ass.

“A-Ah… Hwa…” You moaned softly when he pressed you forward into his face and placed a lingering kiss onto your mound right where your clit was. You took a step closer to him, pressing his face fully into your pussy now, and what little hold he had of his composure immediately slipped.

Seonghwa groaned as he buried his face into every crevice he could fit into, his long tongue rolling out of his mouth so he could run it along the moist material messily. “Knew you’d taste good,” He mumbled against the inside of your thigh, “Smell good, too. I could only dream about something like this happening in real life.” He added before latching his lips onto your clit and sucking the bud through the fabric. This plus the friction of your panties still covering your pussy was enough to make your body lurch forward a bit.

The back of Seonghwa’s head was now pressed against the edge of the bed, pinned between the comforter as you began to grind against his face.

“You should've told me sooner. I think I like seeing you like this.” You told him with a breathless giggle, swiveling your hips as Seonghwa tried to follow every movement to the best of his ability. He didn't mind it. You were using him to pleasure yourself and he couldn't be any more happier.

His grip on your ass had tightened when he felt you begin to back up and you rubbed your thumb against his wrist to make him loosen his hold. “I just wanna move onto the bed, Hwa.” You reassured him and he reluctantly let go. Despite not being completely bare, the evidence of your arousal shined like a gloss on Seonghwa’s bruised lips when you got a good look at him.

You crawled onto your bed, peeling your shirt and dampened panties off before throwing them somewhere you’d worry about later, and waited for Seonghwa to join you. Realizing your lack of underwear now, he followed along until he was stripped bare and crawled slowly up the bed until he was situated between your spread thighs.

Seonghwa’s eyes stayed locked onto your own as he trailed kisses along the inside of your thigh, bringing his face closer and closer until he could finally taste you without restriction or barriers.

The first swipe of Seonghwa’s tongue starting slowly from your hole up to your clit had your legs spreading out wider for him. And when his plump lips wrapped around your clit sucking earnestly, you felt your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head as you reached out to grip his hair roughly.

Seonghwa groaned, muffled by his ministrations, and the vibration of it made your hips buck up. He unlatched himself from your clit briefly only to laser focus his attention on dipping his tongue into your hole to lap up whatever juices started to leak from it.

“Hwa,” His name came out in a shuddered moan as you placed your hands on his shoulders and squeezed to get his attention, “I really need you.”

Seonghwa’s response came delayed, spending a couple extra minutes using his tongue to simply savor your taste before he made his way up your body where his mouth came crashing into yours. “You have me, baby.” He panted between open-mouthed kisses as his hand came up between your bodies to grab ahold of his throbbing cock.

“Do I?” You smirked against his mouth, nudging his hand out of the way so you could wrap your own around his length. Seonghwa gasped lightly, bucking up into the tight ring of your fist. “You think you could switch places with me, baby?” You purred as you stroked his cock languidly. It didn't take long for him to carefully flip the two of you over and have you hovering above him.

“Fuck, you're–” Seonghwa breathed out, eyes glued to your face as you rubbed the tip of his dick through your folds, “you’re just as beautiful as I always remembered but this is truly a sight.” He said while trailing his hands along your thighs then higher up to your hips where he held onto them as you lined him up to your entrance.

The breach stung a bit once you started to sink down onto him and Seonghwa rubbed his thumbs gently into your hip bones as you took your time taking him all the way inside of you. “I’m starting to believe that crush everyone keeps saying you had on me.” You sighed out once your pelvic bone met his, moving your hips slowly in small circles as you relished the way Seonghwa felt so deep inside of you.

“Have,” Seonghwa corrected as he tried to keep himself still under your movements, twitching every time he felt your walls constrict around his cock, “I think it was obvious to everyone but you.” He licked at his lips before tucking his bottom lip between his teeth when you lifted yourself up momentarily only to sink yourself back down onto him.

Picking up a steady pace now, not going too fast or too slow, you simply enjoyed the way Seonghwa stretched you out and filled you up with every movement of your hips. A whimper-like sound punched out of him when you came back down just a little bit harder, clenching around his cock, and you cooed at the noise. “Poor baby. Am I at least making it up to you well?” You pouted at him with a tilt of your head, smoothing a hand down his chest soothingly.

“Noona,” Seonghwa whined, your body immediately stiffening at the sound of his voice sounding so wrecked, “Please, please go faster.”

You obliged without question, deciding that you would have a chance to tease him another time. You pressed your hand down flat on Seonghwa’s chest and used it as leverage to ride him the way you knew you would both love; bouncing on his dick as he thrusted upward involuntarily to meet the action.

This helps Seonghwa to go a little bit deeper, the head of his cock brushing along your walls just right until he hits directly at the spot that has you quivering above him.

You can barely hold yourself up and soon feel your arm give out as you bow your back and press your foreheads together. “Feel s-so good, baby…” You muttered while staring into Seonghwa’s eyes. His half-lidded gaze stared back briefly before pressing your mouths together in an intimate kiss.

He then caught you off guard by starting to buck up into you, almost frantically, as he wrapped his arms around your body and pressed you to his chest. “Cum with me, please, please, please–” Seonghwa begged, seemingly right on the edge of cumming.

Thankfully you weren't too far behind him with the way he had started to desperately fuck into you. And with the remaining body strength you could muster, you rode him with just as much urgency while still pressed closely to his chest.

Seonghwa had been the first to tip over, pleading over and over again until his voice became slightly hoarse. He stilled himself deep inside of you before you felt warmth filling you up in spurts, a pretty drawn out moan falling from his lips as you clenched around him tightly and followed suit.

You whimpered as Seonghwa helped you ride it out, his hands placed on your waist to help you grind down against him and giving your clit some added friction.

Feeling boneless, but most of all satiated, you finally collapsed against him as he started to rub along your back and traced over your spine. The delicate feeling of his fingers sent a tingle throughout your being that you could only chalk up to the resurfacing of those feelings you had kept hidden so deep within.

Seonghwa attempted to sit up and you grumbled in protest causing a laugh to escape him. “We have to get cleaned up.” He reasoned but you only clung on to him tighter as he rose and had you seated on his lap. “Will you stay afterwards?” You asked quietly, hope laced into your tone with a hint of vulnerability. Because now that you had him in your life again you would be damned to see him go so quickly.

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere without you again.” Seonghwa said, leaning forward to press his lips chastely against your forehead before looking at you with eyes full of love and sincerity.

Those same eyes that always held the stars in them that sparkled like glitter and reassured you that he would be right by your side for as long as you would let him.

#park seonghwa #seonghwa #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez fics #ateez reader insert #ateez seonghwa #ateez x reader #kpop fanfic #kpop fics #kpop smut fics

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tojivu · 5 months

Note

Helloo!! I've came across ur fics a few times and it never fail to makes me smile, and I have an idea from scrolling on tiktok for a whole week, I'm not sure if ur reqs are still open... But may I request the orange peel theory with jjk men n boys? Your pick on who u want to write in that scenario! If ur req is close pls ignore this! Thank you and I hope you have an amazing day!

the things i do for you ! ⋆ jjk men

the orange peel theory ˖ gojo, geto, toji, nanami.

an. honestly i'm still kind of ??? on what exactly is the orange peel theory but i'm assuming it's just acts of service? im so sorry if its wrong LOL pls i don't keep up with tiktok......

an ii. ok i did end up getting the prompt wrong but i hope yall like this anyway..

cw. sfw. f!reader. not proofread. acts of service.

playing. lovesong by beabadoobee.

GOJO SATORU is a familiar face at the local coffee shop down the block — and no, it's not because he keeps raiding their cheesecake displays. he much prefers the ones across the street; he only comes by this particular one to pick up your favourite coffee.

"toru, could you get something for me at the coffee place?"

"yeah, i can," he hums. "what do you need, baby?"

it's actually only a 5 minute walk, and you never told satoru your order. it was too specific that you were sure he would forget; so you just told him to buy an iced latte and be quick with it. after all, you could never go wrong with such a basic drink.

"'s okay, baby," he presses a quick kiss to your cheek, confident he would not come back home with a boring latte. "i'll get you something even better."

"please don't. your taste in coffee is terrible — no, forget it, i can just go by myself later." you groan, wriggling around in the sheets of your bed to find that warm spot in the blankets; satoru was up since 6am, and you've only just opened your eyes.

"oh, no need for that," your boyfriend smirks: almost too creepily. "i have great taste! both in coffee and women—"

you smack his arm, using your hands to gesture a shoo-ing motion. you weren't conscious enough to tolerate satoru's gross flirtations. his eyebrows furrow and lips pout, quickly planting another kiss on your forehead before standing up. he scrambles through the desk drawer for his sunglasses — eventually finding them and leaving the house.

little did you know that your boyfriend has your order memorised — it was a small order, not that difficult to remember. satoru didn't think it was necessary to make you get up and grab it yourself; he had legs, and he liked the fresh air, too. plus, he knows he'll get to see you smile first thing when you wake up; perhaps you might give him one of those kisses on the forehead that he loves so much.

you thought he would have called you lazy for not getting up — he would be offended you think so little of him if you admitted that. satoru sees your sleepy face, hears your peaceful snores and he thinks he would rather die by impalement than wake you.

when satoru returns, you're still tucked into bed and fast asleep. he leaves the coffee on the nightstand before kneeling down and leaving the third kiss of the day, right on your lips — and it's then that he realises that you have him so in love that he's willing to spend $8.95 every morning for the rest of his life on overpriced coffee.

────────────────────────

GETO SUGURU holds the most romantic date nights, but there's only one thing you don't particularly enjoy — that being there's always so much walking involved.

yes, you think the opportunity to just take a breath and link pinkies with suguru is nice; it's just that your shoes tend to undo themselves no matter how many bunny ears you tie. your laces have been through war — the plastic aglets have been long lost and the loose string is practically just that. they're starting to pull apart from eachother that you consider just wearing heels for the next few dates until you find better ones.

"we just need to turn the corner—"

suguru's words are cut off by your sighs. you look down at your shoelaces and they are once again untied; the pout on your lips make his curve upward, after he lets out a sigh of his own.

"i really need to get you new shoes," suguru mutters. "they've definitely been through it."

"can you tie them for me?"

it's a simple request that gets suguru on one knee, dress pants stained by the concrete dust, as you patiently wait for him to finish tying the knots he's so skilled at.

"the ones you tie never come out."

"that's a lie," suguru says, his voice a little muffled with the distance between your heads. his rough fingers miss the loop and he opts to restart the knot. "i tied them before we left the house, and look at them now."

your face flushes at that. he sees through your lie like glass — you were always so easy to read.

"i just like the way you tie them, sugu. plus, they only untied because i redid them myself."

"yeah, i think it's because i don't tie them like a preschooler," suguru teases — he ties the knot tightly and stands up. "you should learn how to tie them the right way, baby."

you shake your head, and he raises an eyebrow at your reaction. his left pinky reaches for yours again, before you two start to walk once more.

"why do i need to learn if i have you?"

there's silence for a bit, nothing but cars honking and chattering from the people enjoying the nightlife just as you were — you almost retract your statement when suguru looks at you expectantly.

"is that so?" suguru chuckles at your response. "i guess you're right."

you giggle at his seemingly sarcastic reply — but you don't see the way he smiles, the way the tips of his ears burn, nor do you hear the loud thumping of his heart that tell he is being serious.

────────────────────────

TOJI FUSHIGURO doesn't know what small is.

well, everything about him is big — his body, his mind, his bank account, his heart.

it took you awhile to figure that last one out, though. toji always does the big things. the extravagant, flaunting, costly things. it's only small to him, and it often takes you a lot of convincing to get him to not spend hefty amounts of cash on you.

he feels it's necessary, to take care of his sweet girl like any man should — toji knows nobody can pamper you as well as he does, so he makes sure his money is spent wisely in making you feel safe and content.

you don't know how to tell him that there's no need for all of it, that you just want him to be with you — it's only until one day when you're coughing and sneezing in bed that you have to, after toji's constant pestering about hiring a family doctor.

"tch, baby," toji's voice echoes throughout the spacious bedroom. "shit—you're burning up."

"i'm fine," your voice is hoarse, nose crinkling at the incoming sneeze. "achoo!—"

he frowns, and the scar on his lip shifts downward. he sits on the edge of the bed, thick fingers moving stray hairs away from your face. "told ya we shouldn't have gone last night."

you shake your head. "it was your friend's birthday."

"does it matter, [name]?" he sounds stern. he only ever acts strict with you when he's really worried. "y'were already falling sick yesterday."

you reach for the box of tissues, fingers trying to reach inside the packaging for another piece, but you seem to have used all of them up — the 3rd time today.

"can you stay home, toji?"

it's one simple request that has him nodding. if you didn't mention it, he thinks he would've forgotten all about work — toji was much too worried to let you stay home alone, while a random doctor he hires on the day of attends to you. he much rather take care of you himself.

"i think i'll fuckin' have to," toji answers, frown plastered on his face out of pure worry; he has no idea how happy his reply makes you — you were more than comfortable with the idea of him taking care of you. "'m too worried to let you be alone."

"thank you, toji," you smile up at him and he feels his face burn up, so much that he thinks he feels hotter than you; "you always take such good care of me."

he always does. there was no doubt about it.

it's then that toji fushiguro stands up, his feet quick in making it's way to the bathroom to prepare a cold towel to plaster on top of your forehead. his actions are quick, wanting to make you feel better as soon as possible; your pale lips and tired eyes worried him more than he'd like to admit.

he ends up cooking the worst chicken noodle soup ever, but you chug it down with a grateful smile and a kiss to toji's cheek.

"fuck," he mumbles, sounding almost annoyed. "think i'm gonna get a fever now, too."

the smirk on his face tells you everything, though — at least now he knows money can't buy this.

────────────────────────

NANAMI KENTO is the type of man to do as you please, whenever you please, even if it's something you didn't even ask for.

he loves to see the smile on your face, the way your eyes sparkle when he agrees to help you with something just because you want him to — he can never get sick of the way your voice thanks him.

this is especially true in times of emergency.

it's a friday night and you're having dinner with nanami, legs crossed underneath the marbled tabletop — your silk emerald green dress flows perfectly, hugs your body just right; you think you did a good job picking it out today.

nanami had a range of activities planned out for tonight. it was your anniversary — dinner, then a film festival, then whatever surprise he kept a secret after.

you didn't try to snoop this time, genuinely thrilled to have such a special night with your lover; you were always one to love surprises, especially the ones from nanami.

beautiful, slow tempo jazz plays in the italian restaurant — you feel like you're from a different time, enjoying such authentic food.

"ken," you smile. "you should try some of this."

he doesn't respond for a bit. he's been looking at you with dreamy eyes, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lip; it's not until you giggle that he snaps out of whatever state he was just in.

"sorry, darling," nanami clears his throat. "you just look absolutely breathtaking tonight."

you physically feel the blood rush to your cheeks, too fast that it's almost embarrassing: kento truly knew how to fluster you.

you spin the fork in your hand clockwise, picking up a ball of pasta. "do i not look breathtaking every night?"

nanami chuckles, fingers controlling the knife sawing away at the steak that sits ready on his plate. "stop teasing. you know i think you're beautiful every second—"

plop.

your eyes widen, feeling a damp spot on your thigh. your fork suddenly feels lighter, and your eyes dart down to your dress that now has a patch of spaghetti sauce.

your eyes forcefully close shut in embarrassment, fingers rubbing your temples as you sigh.

"shit," you curse under your breath. "i'm sorry, kento."

he smiles, shaking his head. "what are you apologising for? you didn't drop it on purpose."

nanami sees the frown that drags your smile away, and he feels his heart sink. he knows you really loved that dress — and so he asks you to just enjoy your meal and that he'll make something work.

it's then that his plan derails, just a little. you two are running late to the film festival, but he couldn't think of any better solution.

"wait a little, okay?"

nanami parks the car, and his feet quickly lead him out and into the mall for a little over 10 minutes — when he returns, it's with a black bag with gold printed letters.

oddly familiar, you think.

he steps into the driver's seat, shuts the door and opens the bag: it's the same dress you're wearing, just in a different colour — blue.

nevertheless, you can't help the smile that creeps up on your face. "ken.. you really didn't—"

"yes, i had to." he interrupts. "i know it's not green, but i hope it's okay."

"thank you, love." you say, voice too sweet that nanami remembers all the reasons he does these things for you — he thinks he'll never get tired of it.

020224 — happpyy february ! also i think nanami's one is a little ermm but we rock we roll life moves on yolo :( i got lazy towards the end but i tried Okay

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hootbon · 6 months

Note

Since I saw someone else talking about their fucked up ideas, I am too lol because I suddenly remebered them. But, pretty much just how my lore making brain decides to look at characters.

Kinger: He’s a king chess piece, obviously. He didn’t have to work for that position, unlike the queen, no chess piece can ever become the king, but a pawn can prove itself and become a queen, in a way. Kinger is now forced to be a lowly magician, because he never had to work for anything on his way up. Cracks from pressure, knowing he didn’t do anything, and now has to make up for it, whist his queen, the one who worked to gain that role, is no longer around

Ragatha: A rag doll, something that is quite literally a toy, old, not many people would chose that sort of doll over the newer kinds. Tossed around, ripped, lost, decapitated— so what? It’s a doll. If the doll breaks, you can just sew her back together again. If she does something wrong, you can watch her unravel in front of your eyes until you decide to stitch her back together again, though no one really cares for fixing her. She can be replaced easily, and so easily broken, used and abused by people endlessly, that’s what she’s made for. If she gets too chatty, you can just take out your thread and needle to shut her up

Pomni: A ballerina, she looks quite beautiful when she dances, she is a living ‘doll’, a puppet. A puppet by the strings, not much she can do, but be there helplessly as the ringmaster tugs them. A puppet, also a doll, are just used by someone else’s hand, she has no control over what they might make her do in the circus, and she never will.

Gangle and Aingle: The two sisters, ‘twins’ even if one of them doesn’t actually exist. A false persona, a forever toxic relationship, in a way. Bound to someone who looks like you, is always around you, but acts nothing like you do, wants to be the opposite of you, in a way. With all that ribbon, Caine could really tie the loose ends of the circus, like the abstraction issue for example…

Zooble: Quite handy with a thread and needle if they do say so themselves. Almost like the druggie of the whole group, they let intrusive thoughts kick in one day and than… they could never have enough. Dysphoric, their body never looked normal anyways in the first place, so it didn’t matter if they took parts of those now gone and tried to use them to fill the void of their own ever ending spiral of lack of self-esteem, right? They never liked the person in the mirror, so they change it every day, it only feels normal to be scavenging the halls after hair raising screams of pain can be heard in the hallway, sewing parts together to make something they enjoyed. A bad habit? Of course not, they never see it that way, they are simply making use of what others never appreciated, and now aren’t around to appreciate

Jax: The fluffy murder set bunny, we all love him. His silly little pranks go from sudden silly string ambushes, to agonizingly terrible ways for any mortal being to die— good thing you can’t! Caine would never let you. He’s just a bunny, a sweet little guy who wants nothing else but to put a smile on your face— well, that’s a lie, all he wants now is to satisfy his needs, and out a smile on his face. What is he thinking? You’ll probably never know, ever since Kaufmo disappeared for a few hours and came back, starting to act differently from normal, Jax acts like it’s the end of the world. Silly Jax, it’s just all fun and games! Kaufmo needed some help, so Caine got our friendly twins to help tie up those loose ends!

…Basically random shit, character design analogies and random ominous comments I thought of on the spot for these guys

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #freakshow au #tadc freakshow #I just think you guys need to hear this

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weareapackofstrays · 5 months

Text

Great Escape

Genre: Non Idol au, Angst, Smut

Pairing: Minho x Fem!Reader, Bang Chan featured (referred to as Chris)

Warnings: Extramarital affair (Reader is the cheater. Cheating is never the answer, please don't do this!), Oral (Male receiving), Gagging, Death of a loved one mentioned, unprotected sex, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Word Count: 4,985

Summary: After an argument with your husband, you seek solace at a nearby bar and in its bartender.

2024

I think we made a mistake.

Your husband’s voice echoes in your mind while you replay the argument you just had. Without a word you left your apartment, bag in hand without a destination. It didn’t matter where you went. You just needed out. Needed to escape. To finally breathe. You wander aimlessly until the blinking neon of an open sign lures you in. A chime rings above your head as you push open a door. You find the nearest barstool and take a seat while you stare ahead in a daze. The bartender takes notice of you. He can tell you seem frazzled, but gets taken away by a customer before he can reach you.

It's a quiet Tuesday night. They aren’t very busy. You hear the clinks of ice in glasses and the quiet hum of intimate conversations around you. The lights are dim, basking the large space into a romantic glow. Your eyes focus on the wall of liquor bottles in front of you, getting further lost in thought. I think we made a mistake.

Minho, the bartender, approaches you cautiously.

“Can I get you a drink?” You continue to stare in front of you.

“Ma’am?” You blink a few times before turning to face the bartender. You look around and realize where you are.

“Oh, um, sure.”

“What would you like?” You notice a menu to your right. You're not much of a drinker so the ingredients to the house drinks are unfamiliar. Minho notices your confusion.

“We have food too.”

“Can I actually just get a jack and coke?” He smiles and nods.

“Sure.” Minho turns to leave.

You lean over the counter and reach out to stop him. “Excuse me,” he looks back at you, raising an eyebrow indicating you had his attention.

“Sorry, can you make it more coke than jack? I’m not a huge liquor drinker.”

“We have beer or wine if you would prefer that?”

“No, I don’t really like them either.” He chuckles.

“Ma’am, you know we’re in a bar, right?” Your eyes crinkle and you smile for the first time today.

“So we are. Jack and coke is fine. Can you actually put a cherry in it?”

“You got it, ma’am.” You wince.

“Y/n. Please call me, Y/n.” He nods.

“I’m Minho.” He walks to the other end of the bar to make your drink. You look around at the patrons. There is only one other person at the bar. The man nods at you and you nod back. The stranger knocks back his drink and grabs a few nuts from a bowl on the counter. He turns his attention to the game on the tv in front of him. You rotate in your chair and see a few couples or friends sitting in the booths. The bar has a modern speakeasy interior. It’s cozy. You had walked past it many times on your way to and from work, but never stepped inside.

Minho walks back and places a napkin in front of you followed by your drink. He leans over the bar a little and whispers, “I put in two cherries for you. But don’t tell anyone.” He winks and tends to the other man at the bar. You look into your glass and see two cherries speared by a toothpick and smile. You pop one into your mouth and let the second remain in the drink to soak up the alcohol and cola. You sip your drink and are pleased that it’s not too strong. Minho looks over at you gauging if he used a ratio to your liking. You take notice and nod. He gives you a smile in return.

You watch him as he wipes down the counter. He is wearing black dress pants and a button up shirt. A satin black tie complimenting the rest of his fit rests a little loosely around his neck. His sleeves are rolled up to just below his elbows and you take notice of the veins and muscle while he dries some tumbler glasses. Minho feels your gaze and looks in your direction. You look away quickly and stare into your drink, cursing yourself. The tips of his ears turn red, pleased by your attention. After a few more drinks Minho tries to think of excuses to talk to you.

“Is there anything else you want?” He places his palms on the bar counter in front of you giving you a better view of his healthy vascular system. You swallow the cold liquid with a gulp as you look up at him wide eyed. His deep brown eyes, almost black due to the atmospheric lighting, make your heart drum. Your eyes shift down to his cupid’s bow before finally landing on his lips. He’s truly beautiful and his lips look delicious. Looking away, you shake your head banishing your thoughts of him. He moves in the direction of your gaze to capture your attention again.

“Are you doing okay?”

You let out a breathy laugh before meeting his gaze again. “That obvious, huh?”

“Sorry, it’s just you seem a bit…lost?” He’s not wrong.

“Yeah, I think I might be.”

“Anything I can help with?” You sigh. Before you know it, you're confiding in Minho, revealing your earlier argument with your husband.

“I feel like I’m trapped. I don't even know who I am anymore and I will never know if I stay. I completely lost myself in this relationship.” Minho makes you another drink as your lips continue to loosen.

“I gave up on things in my life, my career for him. It’s not his fault though. Chris didn't make me do it or anything like that. I let this happen. I am to blame.” You rub your temples as Minho absorbs your words.

“Have you only recently realized you felt this way?” he asks.

“No, I think I started to feel this way a year into our relationship actually.” It was the first time you admitted that out loud.

“I know it’s not my place to ask, but if you’ve felt this way long before getting married, why did you?”

2021

“It’s time to say goodbye.” You hear and feel your heart shatter at the sound of your Mother’s devastated voice. Your boyfriend, Chris, takes hold of you and leads you to the car. The car ride to your childhood home is completely silent. The thirty minute drive feels like an eternity and you worry you’ll be too late.

When you finally arrive, you make your way upstairs to find your entire family gathered around your father’s bedside. Your mother had turned their bedroom into a makeshift hospice for him so he wouldn’t be alone at the hospital. You run to your father’s side. His large, bruised hand grasps yours. It feels cold. He’s wearing an oxygen mask making it difficult to hear him so you just tell him you love him repeatedly. Tears blind your vision as a man walks into the room to introduce himself. A chaplain. While your father grew up Catholic he wasn’t necessarily a religious man, but nearing the end he sought peace in the man’s prayers. You felt like you were floating in another dimension. Your siblings took to your side to be closer to him while the chaplain read your father’s last rites. You sobbed into his hand completely in shock. Chris stood beside you. His hand gently grips your shoulder. He wanted to make sure you knew he was there in case you needed him.

The chaplain was talking loudly to your father asking if there was anything else he needed. Your father points to you then to Chris. You don’t understand at first, but soon realize your father wants the two of you to marry. Unbeknownst to you at the time, Chris had swung by your parents home the previous day asking for their blessing once he knew your father wasn’t getting any better. You felt blindsided. Chris seemed more calm than you, but you still asked him if he was okay with this. He nodded his head and you decided to proceed, if only to help your father. You honestly don’t remember anything that was said. All you could think about was your father’s hand in your right and Chris’s in your left and how unbelievably devastated you were.

Did you want to marry Chris? Was this the right thing to do? Your father passed in peace thinking you were finally settled. You were anything but.

2024

You push away the memory of losing your father and continue telling your story.

“We got married kind of quickly, thinking it was the natural next step I guess.” Minho nods while listening intently.

“But maybe we were being selfish. Maybe we were both just scared of being alone.”

“It happens more often than it should.” You hum in agreement. “Do you have any kids?”

You swirl the remaining amber brown liquid mix in your glass. The melting ice clinking together.

“No, his job often keeps him busy. He’s still really focused on growing his career and doesn’t feel ready anymore. I don’t think he’ll ever want kids now.”

2017

Chris was making great strides at work, rising quickly. He felt he was at the cusp of success. The two of you had been dating for 10 months when you got into a small disagreement. It was going to be your first Valentine’s day together. Maybe it was childish, but you loved celebrating milestones together and always went above and beyond planning fun things to do each time. This relationship felt different from any you had before. Chris was special. A week before Valentine’s day, while you stood in line to get donuts, he casually mentioned you would have to spend the weekend alone as he was going to the beach to help a friend with a project. It was an exciting opportunity for him, but you pouted and got teary eyed at the thought of not getting to spend V-day together. Chris rushed you to the car to avoid a scene. It hurt your feelings and he eventually gave in. However, he looked at you seriously and warned you that if you ever got in the way of a job opportunity again, he was going to pick his career over his personal life. You understood where he came from, but it still stuck with you.

2024

“Do you want kids?”

“I do…I did.I gave up asking and eventually gave up on the idea altogether.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Like you said, it happens.”

“Yes, but that doesn't mean you have to live with it.” Minho feels his heart hurt for you. You weren’t the first broken heart to wander into this bar, but you were the first to capture him. “Did you ever tell him how you feel?” he wonders.

“I suppose I should have, but instead it was another brick I placed on my wall of avoidance I had been building since the start of our relationship. Now it’s too high to even climb over.”

“You want to leave him.” It sounds like a statement rather than a question. Minho wipes the wet spot underneath your glass absentmindedly while you take the final sip of your drink. As he takes the finished glass from your hand, your fingers accidentally touch making both your hearts flutter.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be spilling my guts to you like this.”

“I’m a bartender. We’re basically therapists.” You both laugh.

“What do I owe you for this session then?” He lets out a breathy snort and smirks. He places your discarded glass into the sink then turns to face you, arms crossed as he leans back against the opposite counter.

“I can think of a few things.” Your middle tightens, unsure if that comment was meant to sound flirtatious or not. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t attracted to him. The both of you stare deeply into each other’s eyes. Unspoken words being exchanged. Minho breaks contact first and leaves to step inside an office near the bar to grab something.

To distract yourself, you reach into your bag and grab your phone. No missed calls or texts from Chris. The time reads 11:55pm. Minho returns to clear off the booth tables.

“I didn’t realize how late it was.”

“You’re fine, we close at midnight anyways.” There is no one left in the bar.

“Is it just you here closing up?” You ask as he turns off the open sign. Minho walks over to the counter and sits in the bar stool next to yours.

“Just me.” A piece of hair from your loose, clipped bun falls in front of your face. Minho reaches over and tucks it behind your ear. You feel his fingertips lightly touch the shell of your ear and you shiver. He notices your reaction alighting a spark within him, but remains stone faced. As if tucking the hair behind a stranger’s ear wasn’t an intimate act. His fingers graze your shoulder as he returns his hand to his side. The room looks a little hazy, but you’re not completely drunk.

He rests his arm on the bar mirroring yours. His fingers landing millimeters from yours. Minho couldn’t help himself. He knew it was wrong. He was looking right at your wedding band, but he wanted you. Minho didn’t make it a habit of sleeping with the patrons here, but the moment you walked into the bar, dark hair mussed, round kissable lips in a permanent pout, he was a goner. He didn’t know you outside of what you had revealed. It didn’t matter because Minho knew if you let him in, he would fall for you. Taking his chance, he moves closer to you. His face now an inch from yours.

“Minho,” you whisper. You place a hand to his chest instinctively. He closes his eyes as the two of you exchange breaths. When he opens them he sees you haven’t moved away or pushed him away. He’s offering you an out and you want to take it. Minho closes the distance and places his warm lips against yours. Your eyes widen at the connection, but you can’t deny the spark that jolts down your body sending pleasure to your core. He places his hand on the side of your neck, resting his thumb on your jawline. You feel yourself melt into his touch and tilt your head to the side to let him in further. Minho takes the hint and opens his mouth pushing his tongue in to meet yours. Your tongue is cold and he can taste the jack and coke on it. He swipes the inside of your mouth collecting the flavors and moans. You wrap your arms around him and pull each other closer together. His other hand finds your waist and brings you between his legs.

Minho finally separates from your desperate kiss, still cradling your face. He looks into your eyes and knows what you want. He stands, taking your hand and guides you into the open office. He closes the door behind you and you're surrounded by darkness. You stand and wait for your eyes to adjust. You reach your arms out to search for him. Before reaching you, he hesitates momentarily. When you take another step near him he reciprocates. His hands travel up your arms lightly until they find your hair. He unclips it, letting your long locks fall. He burrows himself into your neck and inhales. The sensation tickling you. You smell of bananas and coconut. Delicious, he thinks. He nips at your skin and you finally let out the whimper you’d been holding back. Every cell in your body is aware of him. Each touch is an echo, reverberating intense pleasure throughout. You can’t remember the last time you were this aroused. You want to feel guilty, you know you should, but you don’t stop. Instead, you reach for Minho's tie to loosen it.

He places his lips on yours and continues to explore your mouth with his tongue. After discarding his tie you work quickly on his shirt buttons. Impatience taking over, he helps you and throws it off. You take your fingers and scratch down his pecs to his navel. He shivers under your fingertips and you smile into his kiss. Finally feeling his solid body your arousal starts to pool in your panties. You rub your thighs together. Minho reaches a hand down to provide relief. He tries to push the skirt of your pencil dress up, but it’s too fitted. You chuckle and turn around in his arms, his hands hovering.

“Take it off,” you command. He finds the zipper and undresses you. Cool air hits your body as the dress falls to the floor. Your nipples harden at the exposure. You turn back around and grab at Minho's belt. After removing the rest of his clothes with the exception of his briefs, you take hold of his arms and place him against the wall. You start to kiss down his neck, his chest. You swipe your tongue across one of his nipples and you can feel the goosebumps spread through his body. Traveling further down until you're on your knees, you graze your top lip on the edge of his briefs. His stomach tightens and he places a hand under your chin. Minho tilts your head up to face him. You can’t fully see him, but you can feel his serious gaze.

“Are you sure you want this? We can stop. I don’t want you to regret anything.” You press your check into his palm and nod.

“I want this. So badly.” He releases your chin and you reach for his briefs. You pull them down releasing his hardened cock. His shaft is soft and warm in your hand. Two thick veins run from his head to the base. You slowly stroke up and down before finally giving him a lick. He lets out a beautiful strangled moan and you feel the liquid courage hit you. You continue to lick and kiss up and down his cock for better lubrication for your grip. You blow a cold breath on his tip and he moans. Minho is putty in your hands and it frightens him how easily you affect him.

“Kitten, please, I can’t take the teasing,” he pleads. You're unsure where the nickname came from, but you don’t mind it. After tracing your lips with his tip you finally put him in your mouth.

“F-ffuck, baby.” Minho is worried he isn’t going to last long if you keep this up. You suck him in until he’s hitting the back of your throat and you gag. He brushes his fingers into your hair and takes a tight hold. You release him with a pop, momentarily.

“Fuck my mouth, Minho.” He doesn’t question you and pushes his cock all the way in again, immediately rutting into you. Each thrust makes you gag until you're crying on his cock.

“You’re so fucking hot, Kitten. Don’t stop. Don’t ever fucking stop,” he whines. You feel filthy, but it only turns you on. He makes you feel wanted, sexy. Minho knows he is getting close to coming so he pulls out. He brings you up and reaches around your body to unhook your bra. He grazes his thumb over your nipple teasingly then bends down to suck and bite. You hiss with pleasure.

“More, please!” You cry. Minho reaches down and slides his fingers into your panties. He feels how wet you are and releases another groan.

“Tell me how badly you need me to fuck you,” he says as he walks you to the desk. He resumes his ministrations and nudges your nose for a reply, but you’re too focused on how good his fingers feel against your clit. You begin to breathe heavily as your desire grows.

“Answer me.” His tone is deep and commanding.

“Yes, fuck me, please fuck me, Minho. I need you inside of me.” You grab him to bring him closer. He removes his hand and licks your wetness purring at the taste.

“When?”

“W-when what?” You stutter as you watch him suck his fingers clean.

“When did you know you wanted me?”

“The moment our eyes met,” you say without hesitation. His heart beats faster and he wonders if you can hear it.

“I knew the moment you walked in,” he says back. You pull him into a kiss while he removes your panties and his briefs. His hands roam your naked form and he can’t believe you're real. Minho is starting to salivate.

“Shit,” he whispers angrily.

“What is it?”

“Um, I don’t have a condom.” You take hold of his cock rubbing it against your folds. He closes his eyes and bites his lip.

“Fuck, kitten!”

“I don’t care. I just need you.” Minho grabs hold of your thighs just below your ass and lifts you up onto the desk to sit. As he guides his cock inside you, you tighten your legs around him pushing him further in.

“Ahh, baby, yes!” He shouts once he bottoms out. You feel a slight burn before it quickly turns to pleasure as he starts to slowly move. Minho connects his lips to yours as you swallow each other's moans.

“You feel so amazing, kitten. Like you were made for me.” You had forgotten how fun sex with a stranger could be.

“Faster,” you beg. “Harder!”

Minho reaches a hand down and pinches your clit as his pace quickens. He’s fucking you so deep you start shouting his name.

“Say it louder, baby.”

“Minho, ahh, M-Minho, yes!” Explicit sounds of skin slapping and wetness surround the two of you as you fall further into ecstasy. Minho makes the prettiest sounds as he grows closer to his own orgasm. It only turns you on further as your hands caress and knead every inch of him. Minho’s cock is repeatedly kissing your delicious spot perfectly sending shivers through your entire body. You wrap your arms around his shoulders tightly to be as close as possible to him. Your mouth rests at his ear. Your cries filling his brain. Reaching your high, your body convulses as you finish riding out your orgasm. Your lips suck and lick his ear lobe. Feeling your wetness surround him, Minho lets out a final grunt and comes inside you. The warmth of him reaching every corner within you. You can feel tears prick the back of your eyes. Not from sadness, but from the relief of your release. You know what your heart wants now. While you blink back the tears, Minho lets go of your legs and places you back on the ground, literally and figuratively. Your legs wobble a little so he holds you up until you're steady. He brings you into his arms, holding you and you're quite taken aback by the sweetness of his hug. You rub your hand through his hair and down his back. He places kisses all over your face and you giggle.

Minho doesn’t want to let you go, but he knows he has to. You feel him hesitate, but he finally releases his arms from around you, allowing you to get dressed. Once your bra and underwear are back on he searches for the light switch. It takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the brightness, but once they do you see Minho is completely naked. You stare at him in awe. He’s as beautiful as you imagined. Why on earth did he want you? You continue to watch him while he pulls his briefs on, followed by his pants. He leaves his belt unbuckled.

You turn your back to Minho once you slide your dress on.

“Can you help me?” you ask. Minho walks over to you and places a hand on your waist. His other hand takes hold of your zipper. He watches as your bare skin disappears with the rise of the zipper. He seals your dress with a soft kiss to your nape. You smile at the intimate gesture. You turn around and thank him. His eyes search yours expectantly, but he can only see sadness.

“I should go.”

“Okay,” he whispers. “Y/n?” Your name sounds foreign leaving his mouth.

“Yes?”

“Can I see you again?” Minho is pretty sure he knows what your answer will be, but he falsely hopes. You look down to think. “I know you're married. I know it’s complicated, but-” You place a finger against his lips, cutting him off. You shake your head.

“Minho, you don't need to inherit my mess.” His brow furrows while you can see him work out other options. You gently smooth out his forehead then cup his face. You place a peck on his lips. Minho melts into your kiss, deepening it as he knows it will be your last. You force yourself to pull away from Minho and walk out the office. He trails behind you as you grab your things. You turn to him to look into his beautiful brown eyes one more time.

“Thank you, Minho.” You blow him an air kiss and walk out the door.

Minho watches you leave. His heart is utterly shattered. He wants to shout. He wants to chase after you, but he knows he shouldn’t so he doesn’t. Instead he watches you disappear from his life as quickly as you entered it.

Your key hovers before the door knob while you work up the courage to go inside. Taking a deep breath, you push the key in and unlock your front door. You find Chris sitting on the couch in darkness so you turn the living room lamp on, illuminating his face in warm light. His eyes look heavy and bloodshot, as if he’s been crying. He had been. Chris knows you're there, but he doesn’t want to face you. Not yet. You walk further into the living room, but keep your distance.

“Chris?” he doesn’t respond. “I’m so sorry.” That grabs his attention as he looks in your direction. He notices you look a little more disheveled than you were before you left him. You're looking at your feet knowing you need to come clean. The two of you broke a long time ago. You were never going to repair this and it was time to face it.

“I…I slept with someone.” Chris doesn’t even react. He just faces forward again. He doesn’t know if you mean just now or in the past. It doesn’t really matter.

“I was just hurting so much and for a few short minutes I didn't feel any pain for the first time in years.” His lack of reaction hurts. You know you don’t deserve to feel that way, but you do. He’s still not engaging so you continue. “I can’t go on like this. I can’t keep pretending.” You step in front of him so he can’t avoid you. He still won’t meet your eyes, but he finally speaks.

“What did I do wrong? When did it all go so wrong?” You seriously ponder his question and struggle to reach an answer, but you try.

“I’m not sure if there was a specific moment. It feels more like it’s been piling up gradually. We just don’t have the same goals anymore.” You let out a shaky breath. “And I realized too late what I wanted.”

“And it’s not me?” You’re unable to answer his question. You refuse.

“I am so sorry, Chris.” It’s all you can think to say.

“Deep down I knew we were broken. I’ve known for a long time,” he confesses. Tears threaten to escape you, but you look up hoping they’ll go away.

“I should have talked to you. After dad died…I should have asked for help, but I was too afraid. You threw yourself into work and I just felt like a burden.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” he says emotionlessly. His tone frightens you a little. You crouch down in front of him and look up. Chris looks into your eyes and finally sees you. Sees how tired you are. How sad. His hands rest on his knees. You place a hand on top of his and he closes his eyes at your touch. It felt foreign and familiar all at once. He wanted to grab hold of you and push you away. Sensing his internal struggle, you remove your hand and get up.

“I think I should go stay with my mom until we get things sorted.” He nods.

You head upstairs to pack an overnight bag. Chris leans forward and places his head in his hands. He wants to cry, but he wasn’t sure if there were any tears left. His ring captures his attention and twirls it between his fingers mindlessly. You come downstairs and stand before him to say goodbye. His body acts before his brain and he pulls you into him. You’re surprised as he slots you between his knees and places his head against your waist. He takes in a deep breath then exhales an unexpected sob. Turns out he still had a few tears to shed. Your own tears shortly follow falling down your face. Hands shaking, you brush through his dark curls one final time memorizing their softness. You love him. You always will, but what was left for either of you staying together? With the last of your strength, you remove yourself from his grasp and grab your bag. He can hear the sound of metal touching the side table next to him followed by the closing of your shared home’s front door. Chris looks over and sees your wedding band abandoned. He remains frozen for the rest of the night engulfed by the traces of your scent left behind.

A/N: Sorry for the lengthy one shot. Wrote this one kind of quickly so there may be some spelling errors. Also, major apologies to Chris. I just needed to pick someone and he seemed to fit for the husband role. This is a fictional version of Chris. No one is really breaking his heart irl (I hope!). Gonna go watch fluffy Chris videos now.

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buckymorelikefuckme · 1 year

Text

on the tip of your fingers

steve rogers x fem reader

words: 1.1k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** smut, bondage, sawft dom steve. as always, if you feel i've missed something, pls let me know!

a/n: hehehehehe... any and all mistakes are mine. feedback is encouraged & appreciated ♡

It starts with Steve asking if he can tie you up, a cheeky twinkle in his eyes, hoping (and knowing) you’d say yes. You pretend to think about it just to let him stew in the silence a little, but then you let your lips tip up on one side and he relaxes with a grin of his own.

He straddles your naked form, gathering your wrists in his larger hands. He binds them together with one of his silk ties, testing the strength of it and asking if it’s too tight. When he’s sure you’re comfortable and well restrained, he lifts your hands so he can tie the loose end between the slats of his headboard. He bites his lip, mischievous as he trails his fingers softly down your underarms and the sides of your torso, making you wiggle from the ticklish sensations.

You absently tug on the tie as you try to move away from his taunting touches, huffing when you’re reminded you are completely at his mercy. Steve’s cock twitches at the reminder as well, realizing he can truly do whatever he wants to you right now.

“Will you be good for me, please?” he asks, moving so he’s settled with your thighs on either side of him.

Your breathing picks up as he trails his hands along your legs.

“I’m always good,” you reply.

He cocks an eyebrow, hands coming to a stop on your ankles. “We both know that’s not entirely true.”

Biting your lip, you writhe in anticipation, trying to get him to touch you more in the places you want him. His eyes wander the expanse of your body freely. His touch teases its way up to your hips.

“I think we should see how good you can be.”

The smile drops from your face. Steve smirks, shuffling until he’s lying on his stomach between your thighs.

You’re not sure how long he’s kept you on edge, you just know that you’ve been so close to orgasm, so many times, but you haven’t had the relief of release yet. Sweat is gathered along your hairline. Everywhere, really, even on the backs of your knees. Your lips feel dry and chapped from the way you’ve been panting for breath.

Steve’s head is resting on your thigh, eyes intently watching the way his fingers are lazily thrusting in and out of you. He’s changed his pace and pattern so many times, never giving you a chance to learn what he’ll do next.

Weakly, you lift your head to glance down at him. The sight makes you clench, moaning brokenly when you see that Steve is humping the mattress absentmindedly. His eyes look glazed over with lust as he takes in the vision of you spread open for him, taking his fingers so easily. He meets your gaze, a satisfied smile on his lips, then speeds up his pace.

“Look at you,” he whispers, breath fanning out against your thigh, sending goosebumps across your sensitive flesh.

“Steve,” you gasp. “Please.”

“Please what? What do you need, sweetheart?”

You could punch him. You could throttle him. You just might… once your hands are no longer bound above your head.

“Let me come,” you beg, way past the point of feeling shame for it.

He licks his lips. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Steve,” you groan, close to crying.

His thumb swipes over your clit and your hips jerk, a choked gasp leaving your throat. He hums, doing it again. You cry out, squirming more, and you can’t decide if you’re trying to get closer to him or away from the teasing he’s torturing you with.

“I think I should start reading up on shibari,” he says conversationally, like he's not fingering you stupid, like you're not on the verge of tears. “You would look so pretty tied up in those intricate patterns.”

Your chest heaves at the mental image. You're already under his total control with just your hands tied and Steve using his weight to hold your legs apart, but if he used special knots that would leave you entirely immobile, he could do anything to you. The thought of you, bound and vulnerable, Steve playing with your pussy, maybe even with some toys, makes you shudder violently.

You feel him grin against your thigh.

“Yeah? You like the sound of that?”

“Please,” you whisper.

Steve hums. “You're being such a good girl for me, baby. I'm so proud of you.”

The tears you've managed to keep at bay break free, spilling over your lashes and rolling down the sides of your face. His praise makes you feel light, warmth spreading through your veins. All the teasing he's put you through is suddenly worth it, just for those words from his lips.

His breath puffs across your pussy just before you feel him place a soft kiss to your clit. You jolt, keening, sensitive beyond belief. And then Steve sucks your swollen clit into his mouth, pumping his fingers faster and curling them to add delicious pressure to your sweet spot. Your entire body trembles as your orgasm approaches, yet again, and you begin babbling nonsensically, tugging at the silk around your wrists.

“Good girls get to cum,” he murmurs, licking messily along your slit. “Go ahead, my precious baby. Cum for me.”

As if your pussy was just waiting for his permission, you moan so loudly that it echoes off the walls, head tossed back as you cry his name. You clench around his fingers rhythmically, every inch of your skin tingling with pleasure.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you chant, hiccuping on your next inhale.

Your vision is blurry as your orgasm drags out longer than it ever has. Steve hasn't stopped fucking his fingers into you, and you're crying in earnest now, pathetic sobs punching out of you. Before your first orgasm is even finished, you feel a second one crest, your voice pitching higher and higher. Your toes curl, thighs spasm, stomach clenches painfully. You scream as you are pushed over the edge.

Steve is groaning, pressing even more praises into your skin, wherever he can reach as you cry.

“Perfect, my perfect girl, you did so well,” he's saying, slowing his fingers until they finally come to a stop.

Shivers continue to wrack through your small frame as you pant heavily, eyes glassy as you stare blankly at the ceiling. Steve carefully removes his fingers, kissing your hip apologetically when you let out a soft noise. He reaches for your wrists and unties the makeshift binding, rubbing at them soothingly to help the blood flow and easing your arms down to the mattress.

You blink slowly. “I think you broke me,” you croak.

Steve smiles, brushing your hair off your clammy face. “I sure hope not. I'm not quite done with you yet.”

You can only whimper, goosebumps springing up across your flesh.

It's gonna be a long night.

#avengers fic #marvel fic #steve rogers #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you

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enjoythesilentworld · 2 months

Text

Wille's Month - Mental Health

day 14. @youngroyals-events <3

Wille steps down. Kristina steps up.

read below the cut or on ao3 (T, 900) cw: panic attacks

“Wilhelm?”

A voice breaks through the ringing in his ears. Who’s is it? He can’t tell, can’t really hear, but can feel a slight breeze on his face. Is he outside? No, he’s walking — nearly running — down a hallway, inside. He’s inside the palace, still. They’ve just had a meeting with the court, and it was not good, and he needs to get away.

“Wilhelm, snälla,” the voice calls again. It’s not angry or exasperated, though, it’s almost sad. He ignores it, anyway. Too many other thoughts swirl in his brain.

They hated him. They all hated him. He’d felt so good about his decision when he’d first made it. So relieved, so proud of himself, so excited to tell Simon. Every day after that, he’d only had fleeting moments of self-doubt. But in the end, the day he’d made that speech, he thought he’d been doing the right thing. But now, his resolve is crumbling. Would Erik hate him, too, if he knew? His mamma? She’d said she was okay with it, was happy for him, even, but now? The whole country, it seemed, had turned against him. How could his family not feel the same? When it was really them he was betraying? Their legacy he was walking away from?

His heart beat in time with his rapid steps down the hallway. His chest feels tight, too tight, and when he brings up a hand to press there, it does nothing to alleviate it. Somewhere, in a distant part of his mind, he hears the click of a second pair of shoes following behind him. It must be Erik’s ghost, come to haunt him and ask him why couldn’t he just handle it? Why couldn’t he stop being so selfish and start being the Crown Prince he was supposed to be?

The dozens of statistics the court had presented spin around each other in his mind like a winter squall. Cold, tiny bits of ice stab into his skin, a million tiny reminders that he’s failed them. Why couldn’t they see? Didn’t they know it would break him? That role? It had dug its claws into him already and he’d nearly lost his parents and the love of his life because of it. The rift it created, the puppet it made you, it was too much. Why didn’t they know?

Somehow, he runs into a dead-end. He’s lived here for so long and never gotten lost, but at this moment he doesn’t know where he is. Looking for something, anything to ground him, he reaches out and places both hands against the wall and tries to breathe. Why can’t he fucking breathe?

“Gubben.” This time, the voice reaches his ears and it’s a little more clear, though slightly muted. This time, he recognizes the voice. He spins around and tries to swallow the blockage in his throat and tries to stop the tears. He hadn’t even realized he was crying. Shaking his head, he pulls at the already loose tie at his neck and tries not to let his mamma see how much he’s breaking down right now. He still can’t breathe, though, still just sucking in tiny gulps of air. In a panic, he reaches out blindly, and she is there to catch him.

Slowly, his mamma lowers them both to the ground, her arms wrapped tightly around him. Softly, she whispers quiet encouragement into his ear, reminding him to breathe. Gently, she runs a hand through his hair over and over, soothing him just like she’d done when he was very young.

He chokes out an, “I’m sorry,” once he’s gotten his breathing mostly under control. Big, fat tears continue to run down his face, though, and he can still hear the sound of Jan Olof’s voice explaining just how disappointed the public was. And here’s his mamma, the person he’d disappointed the most, comforting him. Guilt crawls up his throat, suffocating him again. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” she whispers into his hair. “You do not need to apologize. Just breathe, älskling, then we will talk. Okay?”

Unable to do anything else, Wille nods and tries to calm down. She doesn’t seem angry, which is the most confusing part. She seems more worried and scared than anything. The way she holds him now reminds him of that time she’d broken down in front of him and August. He’d been terrified, then. It feels odd, now, to have the roles reversed, but the warmth of his mother’s touch is so gentle and kind it nearly makes new tears well up in his eyes. This is all he’d ever wanted from her.

Eventually, he calms down, methodically rubbing his thumb over his mamma’s hand where it’s gripped in his. He mumbles another apology, unsure what else to say, and she gently shushes him again.

“It doesn’t matter what those people think, Wilhelm,” she says softly. “This was the right decision for you, for us as a family.”

“But Erik–”

“Erik,” she interrupts, placing a hand on his cheek, “is not here.”

He feels that ever-present grief inside him pulse painfully at her words, but she continues. “But I think he would have been proud of you. I am proud of you.”

A few more tears fall from Wilhelm’s eyes as he looks up at his mother. Not the Queen, not Kristina, his mamma.

“We will go through this together. As a family.”

Later, they find out that Jan Olof had buried the lead. In fact, the majority of the population was in support of Wilhelm’s decision. That does lessen the panic from his bones a bit more. But even more so does the love and reassurance his parents continue to provide through the transition. He is no longer Prince, but he is still their son.

#more pain :)#/more therapy for wille (also me)#willemonth2024 #wmday14 #wilhelm young royals #young royals #yr fic #queen kristina

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leolingo · 8 months

Text

(long post about purgatory and meta and rp)

sigh one thing ive been thinking is that it feels a bit unfair to see so many people complaining or doomposting over how purgatory affects the overarching qsmp rp story or how it ~interrupted arcs~ or is ~disturbing current storylines~ or ~narratively unsatisfying~ like. Sure. its a bit abrupt and most players were caught off guard because lore-wise it stems from the federation which means none of them were told about anything beforehand

but... its only been three days. maybe we could have a little faith? like idk ill be soooooo out there rn and say that maybe the admins did this now for a reason. maybe itll make sense later on. we already see lore repercussions with elquackity and his motives and all the nods to the eggs.

theres fair criticism to be made (when done respectfully) if youre mainly here for the roleplay but i feel like we sometimes need to remind ourselves that the qsmp storytelling is a VERY ambitious project. lmao. imagine being the writing team and trying to wrangle 20+ characters with distinct points of view and journeys on an ever-changing story because of the very nature of live rp. its practically IMPOSSIBLE to tie up every loose end neatly and at this point i dont think we should expect that. keeping up momentum with all plotlines must also be pretty hard, cc's schedules and outside factors like server programming and building and mod tweaking and all those meta elements considered and so on and so on

i DO also want the story to move forward and be cohesive and make sense in a satisfactory way. like i really do!!!!!!! but i try to understand that thats not ALL the qsmp is about. from the start quackity said the server wouldn't be exclusive to the rp aspect. it sure is that way right now, but thats because most of the active members are VERY passionate about roleplaying. thats a good thing! they have fun and its fun to watch and the experience is mostly good for everyone because it corresponds to their expectations to an extent

the thing about purgatory is that i feel like its a lot more meta than most people doomposting realize. it ties into the story, sure, but to me it feels like the sudden switch in environment and vibes and stakes isnt actually catered to the rp and thats FINE. like thats not what it exists for and thats fineeeeeee

pac for one has said he appreciates the event for the change of pace, though its very hard (lol), because regular qsmp was starting to feel a bit stale to him and he was kind of running out of things to do. THATS A GREAT THING! managing player engagement like that is awesome and sometimes necessary. YES, purgatory caters to a very different playstyle than what we're used to -- and thats one of its strenghts.

a lot of hispanic creators have also felt this!!!! roier, rivers and carre most prominently have been VERY excited about this event because its similar in format to a lot of spanish speaking events like mc extremo and such. a lot of these players are also not particularly interested in rp-ing and had not been logging on very often prior to purgatory.

even roleplay regulars like tubbo, fit and bbh have shown interest in purgatory for the competitive nature of the setting!!! thats cool too!!!! something different, new possibilities to play around with. thats what the events should be about. kudos to the admins and dev teams for attempting it in such a big scale. their effort shows and all the mechanics weve seen are really fucking cool

i love the roleplay!!!!!! its one of my favorite parts of the qsmp!!!!!! but its not ALL there is and it shouldnt be! non rp-oriented creators are also part of the project and deserve to have a little fun too -- not to mention a big chunk of the hispanic fan community that has blown up twitter with support bc what we have rn is similar to events they already love!!!!!!! im glad to see so many of them get excited again!!!!!!

at the end of the day, qsmp is a LONG long term project, and purgatory ends in two weeks. by the time its over, we can all choose to engage with it as we wish. it can be a big filler episode in your mind, if you want. it can be just for fun..... otherwise, if its not fun, your regularly scheduled qsmp will be back soon anyway :3 its fine to not like it, its fine to have something negative to say about it if properly tagged and not like. crazy entitled or blown out of proportion for what this situation is.

i just hope we can all manage our online experiences accordingly and avoid making things less enjoyable for each other. this is supposed to be fun

#rant kind of #i hate hate hate doomposting it drains me #lets not assume the worst!!!!!! lets wait and see!!!!!!! theres so much time!!!!!!! how about that #qsmp #discourse

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mynameismckenziemae · 7 months

Text

Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone-Chapter VI

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd x Female Reader (no use of y/n)

Goodbye for now

(previous chapter here, next chapter here)

Warnings: smut, same ol’ same ol’.

You wake up to a loud thump and groan from the living room. “Everything okay out there?” You call, too tired to check yourself.

“Yeah. I’m okay, Steve launched me off the air mattress.” Mickey responds with a laugh, “Not the ears, buddy!”

Bradley’s head pops up on the other side of Bob. “I know I was drunk last night but…we didn’t, uh…you know, me and you…with Bob?”

You laugh, throwing a pillow at him. “You’re an idiot”.

He laughs too, “I kid, I kid. I would definitely remember a night with Bobby here”.

Bob sits up with a yawn. “How’d you end up in here Brad?”

“Not sure. The last thing I remember is laying on the bed and telling you should try it, see to how comfy it is” Bradley says, trying to recall.

“Yeah okay, I remember now. I said why not and laid down too. Must’ve fallen asleep.” Bob replies.

“More like you both passed out,” you laugh, picking up your phone to show them the picture you got.

“Well, next time Sunny’s in the middle, Bob kept pushing me all night” Bradley complains.

“You kept nuzzling my neck with your mustache, it tickles!” Bob argues.

“Wait, Next time?” You ask.

“Yeah. Now that I know your bed is this comfy, I’m crashing in here every time I have too many beers with Pete.” Bradley says matter of factly as if you have no say.

Before you can argue, there’s a knock at the door. “Bob, I’ll take Steve out for ya. Penny’s making breakfast if anyone’s hungry” Pete says, already heading back down the stairs, Steve in tow.

You hear Nat and Jake stirring, talking with Mickey as you stretch. You’re all a little worse for the wear this morning, Jake’s missing his shirt, Mickey can’t find his shoe, and your hair is a rats nest, but hey-no one’s puking, so that’s a plus.

________________________________________

Pete takes a call when you’re all eating, everyone looking more alive with some food in them.

He comes back a few minutes later, looking grim. “That was Adm. Simpson. The mission’s been moved up. We leave tomorrow at 0800, and report to base at 0700.”

His words weigh heavily in the air, shifting the energy in the room from carefree to tense instantly.

“You too?” Penny asks. He nods, unable to meet her eyes.

Dread fills you at that. They’re all going, the best of the best. It’s definitely something serious.

Everyone finishes eating and cleans up in near silence, needing to get home to pack and tie up loose ends. You follow Bob to his truck, giving him a kiss and a promise that you’ll be over later, as you have to prep for the upcoming week first as well.

You strip the beds, vacuum, meal prep, and clean. As you’re putting the clean blankets back under your bed, you find the Polaroid camera you got for Christmas and a lightbulb goes off. You have an idea.

You find your prettiest lingerie and scroll TikTok for tutorials and poses before changing into deep red lacy boy shorts that hug your ass just right, paired with a matching push-up bra, you slip on a pair of red-bottomed heels you splurged on and you’re set. You set the camera on a step stool and set the timer. It takes a few practice takes, but you get it on the 3rd try.

You capture different poses in various states of undress. You have to admit, you look pretty damn good in the light of the early afternoon sun. You picture Bob finding them and getting all hot and bothered, jerking off to them. You end up pulling out your vibrator and bringing yourself off quickly, snapping a few pictures during, too.

You pick several of your favorites and place them in an envelope before writing: ‘For Lt. Bob Floyd’s eyes only’. You seal the envelope with a lipstick kiss and squirt a spray of perfume in the air before waving the envelope through it. Perfect.

You shower and pull leggings with an oversized tee before packing an overnight bag and you’re on your way.

________________________________________

Bob and Steve meet you at his door, taking the bag of takeout you picked up.

“All packed?” You ask as you kiss his cheek in greeting.

“Yeah, pretty much. I’m still waiting on a few things in the dryer. Not sure if you heard yet, but Mav said we can take our phones. We’ll have limited access but at least we’re allowed to have them this time”.

You breathe a sigh of relief. “Oh good.” You were dreading not being able to talk at all. The dryer dings and he leaves the room to get the clothes, you slip the envelope in his bag under some socks.

“I should’ve asked sooner, but my sister is stopping over in a bit to pick up Steve, are you okay meeting her?” Bob asks, plopping the clean laundry on the couch to fold it.

“I don’t mind at all. Annie, right?” You say, walking over to help him.

“Yep. She and her husband Mike, are taking the girls to Disney in 3 weeks, leaving on the 19th. Would you want to take Steve if I’m not back by then? I can board him if you can’t or prefer not to” he asks.

“Oh, I’d love to have him! I would’ve taken him the whole time but I’m not sure what my call hours will be yet, I’ll find out more tomorrow when I accept the position. I’m sure Amelia will kidnap him when I’m not home too” you joke.

“Thanks, that’s a relief knowing he’ll be in good hands. I hate this is all last minute,” he sighs, dropping the shirt he’s folding to pull you in for a hug. “I know this is new, but I’m—I just don’t want to leave you yet.”

“I don’t want you to either” you mumble into his chest.

________________________________________

You finish folding the clothes and help him pack, a little nervous that he’ll discover your gift, but soon he zips his duffle closed.

The doorbell rings as you two dish out the food. “Come in!” Bob calls.

“Hey, whose car is that in the drivew—oh, I’ll bet it’s yours. You must be Sunny…the pretty nurse from Minnesota that I keep hearing about?” She smiles, holding out her hand as Bob flushes.

You laugh, shaking her hand. “That’s me, and you’re Annie-the brilliant statistician and lifesaving sister.”

“I’ll take that over the ‘annoying little sister that he never wanted’ I heard all the time growing up” she teases.

“I literally only said that once…after you smashed the Hot Wheels track I had spent hours making,” Bob argues.

“Whatever you say. It’s nice to meet you though,” she smiles, turning her attention back to you.

“Likewise. Have you eaten yet? I brought plenty of food” you ask.

She nods, “I did. I’d love to stay and chat but I left the girls with the neighbor since Mike got called out to a fire. I wanted to bring them with me, but Harper keeps getting carsick if she rides more than 10 minutes and I really didn’t want Steve to eat it. Speaking of, I should really put a call into her doctor about that…” she rambles.

You try and hide your smile—she’s the complete opposite of Bob.

“It’s alright, I understand. Thanks again for taking him on such short notice. Sunny said she’ll take him when you guys go to Disney. I’ll FaceTime if and when I get the chance,” Bob says, hugging her.

“Be safe, okay? I love you” she sniffs, wiping her eyes.

“I will, I love you too. Tell Mike and the girls I say hi” Bob replies, voice cracking a little. You have to look away, or you’ll start crying next.

You take her phone number and text her right away so she has yours. She hugs Bob again and then takes off with Steve. The house feels too quiet.

You finish eating and clean up. It’s only a little after 7 but you both head to the bedroom.

Bob takes a seat on the edge of the bed with a heavy sigh. His head drops, obviously deep in thought. You step out of your leggings, and pull off your tee, leaving you in just your basic thong and bra as you pad over to him in your bare feet.

You lift his chin, surprised to see tears in his eyes. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just…scared” he replies, voice thick with unshed tears.

“Me too.” You reply softly before leaning down to kiss him.

He kisses you back slowly, sweetly, savoring every sigh and shiver. He rises and unsnaps your bra, pulling it down your arms before turning to lay you back on the bed. He strips off his tee with one hand and pushes his sweats off before crawling on the bed.

He kisses up from your ankle to your knee, knee up to your inner thigh. He places a sloppy kiss to your clit through your underwear, and you whimper as he moves on. He licks a path up your stomach, past your navel stopping to give your breasts attention. Your hands weave into his hair as he lavishes your nipples, sucking, nipping, flicking, teasing. “Please, I need…I need more” you whine, tugging lightly on his strands.

He surges forward for a kiss, thrusting his boxer-clad erection against your clit. The head of his cock catches your entrance and he stills, groaning lowly, feeling your wet warmth through both layers of underwear. He takes a shuttering breath before thrusting against you again, careful to not repeat it. “I want…cccan we? When I get back?” He pants into your neck.

“Yes, God yes, please,” you cry, getting close. Your fingers run down his back, before sliding under his boxer briefs to squeeze his ass, nails biting into his skin as you pull him into you harder. “Fuck!” He chokes out, cum soaking the front of his underwear. He continues rocking against you, and the added moisture is enough to send you over the edge too. You cry out into his neck, grinding your hips into his as you ride it out.

He catches his breath before pushing himself off you “I feel like a teenager again, dry humping in the backseat and jizzing in my pants,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“Me too,” you smile up at him, “the only difference is I never got back then.”

He crawls off the bed, slipping off the cum soaked boxers and balling them up, walking away to throw them in the hamper. Your eyes naturally drift to his ass and widen as you see the crescents your nails left. Those are gonna sting in the shower.

“I’m gonna do one last load of laundry, do you want to add yours? He turns back to you, nodding at your underwear. You nod, climbing off the bed to pull them off and hand them over.

You clean up and get ready for bed in the bathroom, putting on the pajamas he left for you.

He takes his turn after you. He returns to the bedroom and wordlessly turns off the light before climbing into bed next to you. He puts his head on your chest and you run your fingers through his hair, putting him to sleep before drifting off yourself.

________________________________________

As always, morning comes too soon. Your phone’s alarm startles you awake at 5:15. Bob rises as you hit snooze. 10 minutes later it goes off again and you turn it off with a groan. You are not a morning person.

You smell coffee brewing as the shower turns on. You hear a yelp. “Jesus Sunny! What’d you do to my ass?!” He hisses.

“Want me to kiss it better?” You say with a smile.

He doesn’t reply, but shower door slides open.

You laugh, stripping your pajamas off and get in behind him.

________________________________________

He brings you to orgasm twice, once with his fingers, and the second time with his tongue.

You kneel to return the favor, but only after you kiss each mark your nails left.

________________________________________

He hold your hand as you drive him to base. The ride is quiet and somber.

You pull in the lot shortly after Jake and Nat.

Jake pulls you into a hug as soon as you get out of the car, knowing you need it.

_______________________________________________

Soon, everyone’s here. You make your way around the other family members to you say your goodbyes, saving Bob for last.

“Bring him home safe?” You ask Nat. “Of course” she replies, tearing up a little.

“No cuddling Bob without me, alright?” You tease. “No promises” Bradley winks, giving you a bear hug.

Bob pulls you in and Bradley releases you, kissing you deeply. Someone wolf whistles and Mickey yells to get a room.

You pull away with a laugh, but tears are brimming. “I’ll be here with Steve when you get back.”

He nods as Admiral Simpson clears his throat. “I’ll be in touch as soon as I can” he whispers before kissing you one last time.

The tears flow as they walk away.

#robert bob floyd #top gun maverick #robert floyd #bob floyd x reader #jake hangman seresin #bradley rooster bradshaw #bob floyd #natasha phoenix trace #mickey fanboy garcia

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bijoumikhawal · 1 month

Text

A devil like you

(Read on AO3)

It was a crass little game. Well, kotra wasn't- while Garak's eyes often dilated at tense parts, enraptured by the prospect of winning and loosing, nothing came of it. It wasn't that thrilling.

Not by itself.

The dice had been a tongue in cheek gift from Jadzia at her Trill New Year's party. Sisko had gotten a similar pair, and judging by the tops of Kira's ears, so had she.

Julian had set them on the table, sober faced, as Garak set up the kotra board.

Garak kept a straight face as he looked them over. "I don't know how you expect to incorporate these into a game that doesn't use six-sided dice."

"They're for after the game." Julian leaned to the side, picking up his tea from the side table. "The winner- no, loser, rolls. Whatever the result is, is what the winner gets to do them, if they like it."

"And if the winner doesn't?"

"The loser rolls again."

Garak tilted his head, demeanor cool in sharp contrast to his gaze. "Does kotra bore you, doctor?"

"No. But a change of pace is always welcome." Julian's own demeanor was betrayed by a pounding heart.

Garak's mouth twitched into a smile, and he inclined his head. "Well then. Let's get started, shall we?"

Kotra usually lasted two or three hours between them.

This game went on four hours, twenty-seven minutes, and fifty-three seconds- ending with all of Garak's pieces captured, or backed into corners.

Julian had played well, but not aggressively. There had been a chance Garak would win. It wasn't fun otherwise- and it wasn't like Garak seemed too put out by loosing.

He leaned back, reciting the polite ending of the game that Garak had drilled into him. "Thank you, as always, for the exercise in wit."

"Of course." The dice were comically large, so Garak only picked up one. "And thank you for the lesson in grace."

The die, in turn, were actions and objects. This one was action. It spun over the table, landing on a simple, if crude depiction of two people entwined. Garak's face remained unmoved. The second die landed on "blindfold".

Garak's hand stuttered in mid air.

Julian watched him carefully as he got up out of his chair. Garak’s eyes flicked away from the dice, tracking him.

Intent. But carefully neutral.

Julian pulled out Garak’s basket of remnants and carefully selected a soft brocade already cut to a good size. Crossing back to the table, he carefully drew the cloth over his friend's face, tying it firm. "Not too loose?"

"No."

Julian circled the chair, already burning with anticipation. Yet more heat flared in him as he drank in the sight. Garak, sitting, docile, a sense stripped away from his use. A weakness created. "Perhaps I should tie your hands too."

Garak was rubbing his fingernails back and forth over the upholstery. "With my clothes still on?"

Julian smiled. "Alright, good point." He grabbed Garak’s wrist, guiding him to the bed.

Garak sat primly, and began undressing himself. Julian began shedding his own clothes too, grateful he'd worn a shirt that fastened- he didn't have to break his gaze on Garak. Though he couldn't see, his movements were smooth. It wasn't a typically seductive display- but Julian wasn't always typical.

It took Garak longer to undress than him, simply because he wore so many layers. Julian considered telling him to stop at his "supportive garment"- the cool, clinical term Cardassians used for what really amounted to a corset- but let him be. He could explore that later.

Garak's knees parted after he finished, already anticipating.

"Ah, I'm sorry if it's a disappointment, but that's not how we're doing this."

The top of Garak's brow ridge twitched. "But the dice-"

Julian sat in his lap. "The dice don't specify who is doing what. I feel well in my rights to interpret them, seeing as how I won." He grabbed Garak’s hand and guided it down. "Now, I'm sure I don't need to tell someone older the importance of preparation?"

Garak's fingers sank into his cunt. Julian rolled his hips down on them, biting his lip. He watched Garak’s lips part- the motion of vague shadows just inside them giving away that he was scenting the air. Usually he was only so obvious about it when surprised.

"I have told you you should savor your meals more." Garak said, almost bored, almost professorial. "It seems that would benefit you in other areas as well- I've never laid hands on you and found it this wet before."

"Hm." Julian leaned forwards, pushing Garak down by the shoulders. "Is that fault mine, or have the rumors of Cardassians and their lengthy foreplay been greatly exaggerated?" Julian rolled his hips down on those fingers again, watching the faint blue flush that appeared not long after he'd brought out the dice deepen.

Garak hummed, the sound blending with the rumbling noise that betrayed Cardassian arousal. "I believe the problem lies within that- little problem of cross cultural communication."

"Yes. You do have to make an effort to reach people where they're at." Julian said dryly.

Garak laughed. "Reach is hardly a problem for me. And you're well aware of that."

Julian pulled at Garak then, encouraging him to switch their positions. "Do I? I think my memory needs to be jogged."

Garak braced his arms by Julian's shoulders. He was still scenting so obviously. "Well, doctor. I can certainly help with that." His hips pressed against Julian's, and he everted. His cock left a slick trail that crossed Julian's hip.

Garak muttered his annoyance, and Julian laughed.

"Did being blindfolded make you more confident, dove?" He couldn't help it- not even a month ago Garak had dismissed the idea of being able to evert directly inside your partner as a ridiculous fantasy in the vast majority of circumstances, given many Cardassians supposedly abhorred oral. "I- ah!"

Garak had shut him up by properly positioning himself and sinking inside him.

Julian closed his eyes a moment and let out a long breath. The feel of Garak inside him... Julian's sexual history hardly lacked variety. And, in that variety he found it hard to do any sort of "ranking". But... he was, to put it delicately, incredibly fond of many things about Garak.

Garak's breathing was already trembling. Julian opened his eyes.

Garak's breathing wasn't the only thing trembling. His arms, where they held him up just above Julian, were shaking.

"Garak?"

Garak’s breaths were deep, but thankfully even. It became clear he was making an effort.

"Garak."

Julian’s hand alighted behind Garak’s head, fingers resting on the knot he'd tied- only for his wrist to be grabbed.

"I'm fine, doctor. This is merely- intense."

Julian pinched the knot between his fingers before letting go. He rested his hand on the back of Garak’s neck instead, fingers slipping through dark hair to gently scratch at scales. Garak let out the shudder that broke through the trembling.

"Relax your arms." Julian pulled at his elbow, encouraging it to bend. "There? Isn't that better?"

Garak grunted against Julian's neck, giving a gentle roll of his hips. Julian clenched around him, pulling a sharper sound out.

"More, Garak. You know how I like it." Julian bit the ridges running up his jaw.

"How demanding." Garak muttered as he acquiesced with firmer, more frequent rolls of his hips against Julian.

Julian amended his future plans- next time, he would not only bind Garak and blindfold him, he'd gag him too, and figure out just how much it took to milk a Cardassian dry. With his clothes still on, indeed.

Julian moved his hips to meet Garak, the image filling his mind for a moment- Garak struggling even as arousal took him, complaining, unable to complain, laying wrecked and stinking of sex. The red suit would be good- Julian adored it, almost too much to ruin it. His hand squeezed the back of Garak’s neck, making him tremor with pleasure again.

He teased the neck ridge before him with his mouth.

Garak's hips froze a moment. "Ah, my dear-"

"Getting close already?" Julian gave his scales a nip, still holding him close. "Don't worry, Garak. You won't disappoint me. I wouldn't let you."

Garak's teeth clenched around nothing. His cock throbbed harder inside Julian.

Julian's other hand wandered down, squeezing Garak’s ass and pulling his body hard against Julian's. "Keep going."

Julian muttered in Garak’s ear- more, harder, you know the angle I like, use it. He could feel tension growing in Garak- not just the tension of his arousal. He wanted something.

Julian knew exactly what it was, and kept it to himself. For the moment.

Garak's body, heavy and solid, pressed onto him, always brought Julian a thrill. Having that weight over him, at his command, was a true delight.

"Doctor- my dear." Garak's voice was desperate in his ear.

Julian hooked one leg over Garak’s hip. "Go on, dove. Be good to me- give me everything you have."

And then he bit Garak's neck ridge, ravenous, hand tightening on the back of his neck as though the thought of escape was something Garak could even fathom.

Garak let out a choked noise as his irllun flared inside Julian, his hands scrabbling against the sheets, tearing them. Julian could taste something vaguely metallic- he hadn't quite meant to go that far. He moved his hips up against Garak, holding him with even pressure as his torrential, leisurely orgasm rolled through, grinding the tip of his cock against Garak’s scales.

It didn't take him long to follow.

Garak laid on top of him, body limp. Julian carefully unclenched his jaw- there was only a little blood, not enough that it was trickling away. He pressed a fingertip against the edge of the wound. Garak let out a sound that was almost a whimper.

A vague guilt rose in Julian, but he pushed it away. "I didn't think it'd taste like that."

Garak's breath, shaky, ghosted over Julian's skin. "Ever the scientist."

Julian looped his arm around Garak’s back as he sat up. "Of course." He let Garak slump back a bit, enough that Julian could see his face. "Thank you, as always, for the lesson in wit."

In lieu of the proper reply, Garak groaned.

#cipher talk #garashir #My writing #Ds9 #Nsft

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driversatellite · 1 year

Text

cruel summer | r.c | part eleven

synopsis: after she had been left heartbroken by jj maybank, y/n had felt herself feeling withdrawn from everything around her, it seemed that nothing could make her feel better, except for maybe her best friend sarah’s older brother, rafe cameron. the two had a rivalry that began before either of them could remember but after her heart was broken y/n found herself enjoying rafe’s presence more and more, maybe he wasn’t who she thought he was.

rafe cameron x desi!reader

part eleven: on my way to buy some flowers for you

word count: 5.0k

a/n: hiiiii guysss!!!! omg last hslot show was this past weekend and i can’t even lie i cried, hslot was an era and i can’t believe it’s over :( also omg the video harry posted, i sobbed too, but i’m glad he can relax now, he needs to. anyways here’s this part, it’s pure fluff, i swear there will be more plot next part. also not sure how many more parts i’ll have cause i have a lot of ideas to continue this story and i still have loose threads i need to tie up, so we shall see, as of right now i have 4 more parts planned, but that’s def not the end!! but hope you enjoy this part!! (likes, comments, and reblogs are very much appreciate <3!!!)

series masterlist | main masterlist | last part | next part

“Ok seriously, we’re gonna get a cold if we stay out here any longer.” Y/N said as she slipped her hand into Rafe’s and tugged him inside. As soon as their rain soaked feet hit the floor, she winced, “We’re dripping, wait here.”

She quickly rushed to the laundry room, grabbing towels and a pair of Neal’s clothes for Rafe to change into. She wrapped a towel around herself and padded back to her room. Rafe was standing right where she had left him and she tossed him the towel, “Here.” He quickly caught the towel and wrapped it around himself, drying off as much as he could.

She held up the clothes that she had brought, “Here’s some dry clothes, I’m sure Neal won’t mind.”

He shook his head, “I think Neal will kill me for things other than wearing his clothes.”

She rolled her eyes as she started to ruffle through her hamper, “He won’t kill you.”

“He might.”

“Just go change.”

She was pulling out a shirt when Rafe spoke up, “Did you wear the white dress because I said I liked it?”

Y/N felt heat rise to her cheek, he was right in his theory, but she didn’t want to admit it to him. He chuckled as he took her silence as an answer, “Well I guess I have good taste then, yeah?”

She shook her head, but couldn’t hold back her laugh, even though they were faced in opposite directions, she could practically hear Rafe grinning as he spoke, “Just change your clothes Rafael.”

Soon the pair were sitting on Y/N’s bed, neither one of them knew what to say, they were still processing everything that had happened.

“I think we should talk about everything.” She suggested and Rafe gave her a playful frown.

“Do we have to?” He asked as he leaned forward and pulled her onto his lap, “I think we should do some more making out.”

She gave him a stern look and he laughed, “Fine, fine, we can talk and then we’ll make out.”

Y/N swallowed deeply as she looked at him, “You really love me?”

“I don’t know what else I gotta do to prove it to you y/n/n.” Rafe said, tightening his hold on her.

“I don’t know, it’s just hard to comprehend that you love me back.” She said. Her insecurities ran deep and often messed with many of her relationships. There was always a little devil on her shoulder whispering that she was never good enough. No matter what others said, she felt deep in her heart that she truly would never be good enough for anyone. But she couldn’t put that burden on Rafe, he was showing her how much he cared about her, it would just take some getting used to for her to grasp that he does love her, with all his heart.

Rafe smiled and pressed a kiss to her head, “You better believe it.”

“You promise I’m not just another notch on your belt?” She questioned.

Rafe felt hurt as he heard her question, but he couldn’t blame her, he had built a reputation for himself and now he had to live with it and prove to everyone he wasn’t some guy who only saw girls as trophies to collect. He took her face in his hands tilting her chin up, so their eyes met, “You mean so much more to me y/n/n, you’re it for me.”

Y/N couldn’t stop the smile on her face as she took in his words, but there was one more burning question she needed to clear up before she could move forward, “What about Claire?”

Rafe sighed, he really should have listened to Claire and not used her to taunt Y/N. He so badly wanted to tell her that there would never be anything between him and Claire, solely for the fact that Claire wasn’t attracted to men, but it wasn’t his place to tell, “We’re platonic friends. I swear.” He then held up three fingers, “Scouts honor.”

She rolled her eyes, “You were not an eagle scout Rafe, you and Neal dropped out before you made it to that level.”

He shrugged, “It’s the thought that counts.” She just shook her head at him before sighing and resting her head on his chest. They had never sat like this but it felt so familiar, it felt like they were always meant to be like this.

The two sat in blissful silence, just enjoying each other. Rafe hadn’t ever been in Y/N’s room this long, so he took his time to drink everything in. His eyes combed over her bookshelf and all the little knicks scattered around the many many books she had. He surveyed each painting she had hung up, each one framed by intricate gold painted wood. He surveyed her nightstands, one scattered with her jewelry and a few empty water glasses. The other nightstand had a plethora of framed pictures, ones with Y/N and her family. Ones with Y/N and her friends. Rafe noticed he had even made it on to one of the framed photos, but then his eyes zeroed on the person he was stood next to, who wore a bright grin. He turned to look at Y/N who had closed her eyes, but Rafe knew she wasn’t asleep yet, “What are we gonna do about Sarah and Neal?”

Her eyes opened and she started to gnaw on her lip. She had thought long and hard about this, that night on the beach when she made the decision to tell Rafe about her feelings, “I can’t spend my entire life trying to please people. I love you and I don’t want anyone getting in the way of that, we owe it to ourselves to put us first for once.”

He grinned at her words, “I’m glad you came to your senses.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She questioned.

He shrugged, “I don’t know, it’s just been so obvious that you’ve been pining over me and didn’t do anything about it.”

She scoffed, “I was not obvious.”

He gave her a look, “Really?”

“I wasn’t obvious.” She insisted. He just shrugged and she huffed, “I had to write you a whole love letter for you to get it.”

Rafe just smiled, “Keep telling yourself that sweetheart.” He quickly pressed his lips to Y/N’s before she could argue back and as much as she wanted to argue back, she melted into him as their lips met.

As they pulled away she wore a small smile, “Well I guess I’m glad we both came to our senses.” The pair wore goofy grins on their faces as they reveled in each other’s presence.

“What are we gonna do now?” She asked as she played with the hair on the back of his head. They had shifted from their position sitting on the end of her bed, to sitting against her many many throw pillows.

“Well, I’d really like to call you my girl.” Rafe said and Y/N grinned.

She pretended to think, before sighing, “I guess I’d like to call you my boyfriend.”

Rafe cleared his throat and feigned a British accent, similar to the one Matthew Macfadyen used when he played Mr. Darcy, “So are you accepting my proposal my dear lady.”

She couldn’t help but giggle but played along, feigning her own British accent, “I guess I am accepting your proposal my lord.” Rafe couldn’t help himself as he leaned towards her and pressed his lips to her cheek and Y/N couldn’t stop smiling.

“What are we gonna do about everyone else?” Rafe asked as they settled down.

“Can we keep this between us for now? I don’t want anyone else ruining it.” She asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, we can. I don’t really want Neal beating me up right now, but we’re gonna have to tell them eventually.”

She sighed, “We can do that later, but for now I just want you to be all mine.”

He grinned as he pulled her so she was laying on top of him, she let out a small gasp at how easily he had been able to move her, “I can do that.” He wasted no time pressing his lips to her and wrapping his arms around her.

After some more making out the couple just talked to one another, it was easy for them to talk to each other and even though they had known each other for practically their entire lives, they didn’t run out of things to say.

“So before, when you were coming over to tell me, what was your plan?” Rafe asked as he played with some locks of Y/N’s hair.

“You really want to know?” She asked and he nodded, “Well, I was gonna ask you to come picnic with me on the beach and I got some of the food and treats you like. And then I made this scrapbook of us growing up and me growing feelings for you and the last page was where the letter was supposed to be, but I was in such a rush that I guess I didn’t tape it down properly, so it fell out.”

Rafe had a goofy grin on his face, no one had ever put that much effort in for him, “You did all of that for me?”

“I wanted to show you that I loved you.” She simply said.

He grinned, before a quizzical look came across his face, “What did you do with the food?”

“It’s all down in the kitchen.” She informed him and an idea popped into his head.

“Well I don’t mind having a picnic right here.” He told her.

“Really?” She questioned. He nodded and she was quick to slip out of his hold and off the bed, “Wait here, I’ll go grab everything.” She was out the door quickly making sure to grab the picnic basket on her way out.

In no time she was rushing up the stairs and pushing her door open to see Rafe setting up the picnic blanket on the ground, she quickly walked in and shut the door behind her before setting the picnic basket down next to where Rafe was sat, “I can’t believe we’re having a picnic on my bedroom floor.”

“It’ll be fun. I would have suggested that we go outside, but it’s still raining, another time though.” Rafe said and she felt her heart flutter, they were barely together and Rafe was already thinking of future dates. She knew it was the bare minimum, but she rarely experienced it in relationships, usually she was the one who put the majority effort in and everyone else just half-assed it. She was glad to finally have someone who seemed to put the same amount of love and energy into their relationship.

The couple started to dig things out of the basket. Rafe pulled out the two pints of ice cream, “You got my favorite ice cream?”

“We missed a few ice cream days, so I thought I’d make up for them.” She told him and he smiled.

He pulled out the pastries next and looked to her for an explanation, “Those were the things you got when we went to the farmer’s market that one time.” She explained.

“You remembered?” He was shocked that she had remembered the small detail, he wasn’t used to people paying attention to him like this.

“Yeah, I mean Lilly always used to make you guys tarts and eclairs, so I guessed that’s why you got them.” She told him and a soft smile overtook Rafe’s face. It was true Lilly Cameron’s specialty were her fruit tarts and her chocolate caramel eclairs, to him those used to be the best pastries in the world.

“Yeah, she made the best ones.” He agreed and Y/N smiled.

Rafe thought about his mom and what she would say if she knew what had happened between Rafe and Y/N. Even though Rafe never outright said it, he knew his mother knew exactly how he felt about Y/N, even back then. She didn’t tease him or push him to do anything, she just watched him with knowing eyes and a warm smile. He knew if she were here today she’d be happy that Y/N was the girl Rafe had chosen to be with. Lilly had always loved Y/N, she always said Y/N was her honorary daughter and Y/N loved Lilly. When Vera was away on work trips or working late nights at the firm it was Lilly who always watched Y/N. When Y/N and Sarah had sleepovers Y/N was always the first one up along with Lilly, she’d always help Lilly make blueberry pancakes and set the table. Y/N and Lilly spent countless hours together, whether it was making flower crowns for midsummers or baking for the latest event at the island club. When Sarah didn’t want to help Lilly, Y/N was always there, she adored the older blonde woman and would do anything to help her. Lilly had actually been the first one to take Y/N to the farmer’s market. Y/N thought she might love the farmer’s market as much as she does because it reminded her of Lilly and she wanted to hold on to every piece of Lilly she had left.

“Wait, you went to the farmer’s market again? Without Wheeze or me?” Rafe asked.

“I went to get something else, but then I saw the pastry stand and couldn’t resist.” She told him

“What did you get?” He asked. She looked through the basket and silently cursed when she realized she hadn’t put the necklace she had bought him back in the basket, she quickly stood up and walked over to her vanity where her jewelry boxes were. Rafe’s necklace was easy to find because it was still wrapped in the nice box the vendor had given her. She made her way back to where Rafe was sat and passed him the box.

He looked at the box curiously, “For me?” She nodded and Rafe took that as his sign to open the box up. He quickly undid the gold ribbon wrapped around and pulled the lid off to see the necklace sat on a navy cushion.

He looked up to her for an explanation, “I saw you looking at it, but if you hate it, I can totally try and return it or something. I just though you liked it.” She rambled out.

Rafe grinned as looked at the necklace, she was right he had been looking at it. It was a North Star necklace and Lilly had always loved pointing the North Star out to Rafe, she had told him that no matter what if he looked up at the North Star, no matter where they were, Lilly would be looking at it too and guiding him in the right direction.

When Rafe stayed quiet Y/N opened her mouth to ramble some more but he quickly shook his head and pulled the necklace out of the box silencing her, “I love it.” He quickly slipped the necklace on and she smiled.

“You really like it?” She asked once more.

“Yeah, I love it.” He told her, before grinning, “Can’t believe you’ve been watching me this closely.”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re one to talk.”

Rafe let out a laugh before pecking her on the lips, “Let’s just eat this ice cream before it melts, yeah?”

The next morning Y/N woke up with strong arms wrapped around her waist. It wasn’t a feeling she was used to, when she and JJ were still together, JJ didn’t ever spend the night at her’s and when they would spend the night together it would usually be at the chateau and JJ would always be out of bed before she woke up.

She didn’t remember getting into bed, the last thing she could remember before sleep overtook her was her and Rafe laying on the picnic blanket, talking about everything and anything. She assumed she must have fallen asleep at some point and Rafe had carried her into bed and slipped in with her.

She slowly turned around to face him, a smile gracing her lips, she could get used to waking up like this. Rafe looked so serene when he slept. From her position she needed to tilt her chin up to fully take in his face. His eyelashes looked longer from where she was and his hair fell onto his forehead in the most perfect way, she felt the need to run her fingers through it. She gently ran her fingers through his hair, it was as soft as she expected. She slowly ran her fingers through all of his hair and once she had finished she slowly moved her hand and started to sit up, but was pulled back against Rafe’s chest.

“Don’t stop.”

She hadn’t known that Rafe had woken up, but she complied and started to run her fingers through his once more, she craned her neck to check the time on her clock and saw that it was almost a quarter till eleven.

“Rafe we should get up, it’s almost eleven.” She murmured, but still didn’t make a move to get up.

Rafe’s response was to pull her even closer to him. The two lay facing each other, his arms wrapped around her waist and one of her hands in his hair, the other on his chest.

Rafe was slow to open his eyes, peeling one open at a time. But as his eyes settled on Y/N a goofy grin spread across his face, “So it wasn’t a dream.”

Her brows furrowed in confusion, “What?”

“You really are my girlfriend.” Rafe dreamily said.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes, but a smile graced her lips, “Ok lover boy, why don’t we get out of bed now?”

“Fine, fine.” He relented and slowly released Y/N from his hold.

She sat up and started to stretch, “Why don’t we get breakfast or something, there’s that place you like on the mainland with the really good chicken and waffles.”

He nodded, he would never turn down chicken and waffles, “I’m down,” But then he realized what day it was, “Shit, I forgot I told Wheezie that I’d take her to the mainland to get jewelry today. She made an appointment and everything.”

“That’s okay, we can hang out some other time.” She said.

Rafe was about to agree before an idea popped into his head, “Do you want to come? I mean Wheeze won’t suspect anything, we’ve basically been hanging out like that all summer.”

“Are you sure?” She asked, she wasn’t so sure that would be a good idea, Wheezie might be young, but she was perceptive.

He nodded, “Yeah, it’ll be fine.”

She remembered her conversation with Wheezie after they had made flower crowns and that just made her more apprehensive, “There’s something you should know though,” Rafe nodded as a cue for her to continue, “Wheezie asked me if there was something going on between us.”

“What? When?” He asked.

She shrugged, “A couple days ago when we were making flower crowns.”

Rafe couldn’t help but grin, “And you say your pining wasn’t obvious.”

“Rafael.”

He raised his hands in the air in surrender, “I found your pining endearing sweetheart.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She grumbled and Rafe was quick to press a kiss to her cheek.

“I promise to be on my best behavior in front of Wheeze,” Rafe told her, holding up three fingers once again, “Swear, scouts honor.”

“For the last time, you can’t say that Rafe. You weren’t an eagle scout.” Y/N exasperated.

Rafe just laughed, he loved riling her up, “Ok, why don’t we get ready and you’ll meet us at Taneyhill. I’ll let it slip to Wheezie that I asked you to come because you’re better at shopping than me and she’ll be none the wiser.”

After a few more kisses and Y/N making Rafe once again promise to be on his best behavior, he was climbing down from her balcony and sneaking back to Taneyhill. She wasted no time getting ready and soon enough she was on the front porch of Taneyhill, donned in a sundress, with her hair pulled back with a seashell clip, and a raffia tote hanging from her shoulder.

It was Ward Cameron who answered the door. Y/N hadn’t seen much of the older man in a while, granted she had been avoiding Taneyhill and Ward always worked long hours, but she usually saw him every so often.

“Good morning Y/N, how’ve you been, haven’t seen you much around here.” Ward greeted her, a pleasant smile on his face.

“Morning! I’ve been busy with a few things and haven’t had time to come over, but I’ve been good, how about you?” She responded.

“I’ve been good as well, but work keeps me busy.” Ward told her and she smiled. It was then when Wheezie started to descend the stairs, a bright grin on her face.

“Y/N!”

Y/N beamed at Wheezie, “Hi Wheeze!”

“Rafe said that he invited you to come with us.” Wheezie said and Y/N nodded.

“Yeah, he said shopping wasn’t his thing and that you’d want my opinion more than his.” She told the younger girl.

“Hold on, you’re not here to see Sarah?” Ward asked. Since he had been busy recently he hadn’t been paying much attention to the kids this summer, so in his mind Sarah and Y/N were still thick as thieves and Rafe and Y/N hated each other, so to hear that she was here for Wheezie and Rafe was a little surprising for him.

Y/N shook her head slightly, “Oh, no I’m not here to see Sarah. Rafe and I are just taking Wheeze to the mainland to get some jewelry to go with her midsummers dress.”

Ward nodded in understanding before bidding the girls a goodbye and heading back into his study, leaving the two girls alone. Y/N turned to face Wheezie with a grin on her face, “Are you excited? I love picking out jewelry, it helps to really finish the look.”

Wheezie excitedly nodded, “I can’t wait, I love shopping.” Y/N nodded in agreement, there was nothing better than shopping.

It was then when Rafe descended down the stairs, he wore a grin on his face and Wheezie narrowed her eyes, it was uncommon for Rafe to be so chipper, “Why are you so happy?”

Rafe shot a quick glance at Y/N, who was trying her best to hide her smile, before he shrugged, “Nothing, now let’s go. If we go early we can go to the farmer’s market you two liked and then go to your jewelry appointment.”

Wheezie couldn’t hide her excitement after that, practically sprinting to Rafe’s car. As usual the car ride was full of Wheezie’s ramblings, this time she was rambling about what she was excited to get at the farmer’s market. Wheezie’s rambling had partially drowned out the sound of Rafe’s music, but Y/N could still hear it and she didn’t particularly want to listen to his playlist at the moment and she wanted to test something. So she discreetly started to change the music, but apparently she wasn’t discreet enough because as soon as she clicked off of his playlist Rafe shot a quick glance at her through the corner of his eye, “What are you doing?”

“I’m changing the music, I’m tired of your playlist, we listen to it everytime.” She told him. She wore her best puppy dog eyes, making sure to add a little pout, she wanted to see how far she could push her luck with him now with her sober. She knew that when she was drunk Rafe wouldn’t push back on her changing the music, but when she was sober he almost always pushed back.

Rafe let out a sigh as he saw the look on her face, she knew exactly how to play him and they hadn’t even been together a full day, “Fine.”

Rafe’s answer surprised both Wheezie and Y/N. Y/N truly hadn’t expected him to give in that easily, she thought she’d have to try a little harder, but she was pleasantly surprised. Wheezie on the other hand was confused, Rafe never let anyone touch anything in his car, he was weird like that, so to see Y/N messing with his touch screen and changing up the lights and music was astonishing to her. But she quickly forgot about her questions as her favorite music started to play. Her and Y/N had similar tastes in music, Wheezie assumed it was because she had spent basically all of her childhood with Y/N and Sarah and being around them made her more like them and pick up their interests.

Soon enough the two girls were singing their favorite lyrics at the top of their lungs, having the time of their life. Y/N had a wide grin on her face as she belted out the lyrics and as Rafe saw her he couldn’t help but grin too. He even sang along to a few of the old classics with them, much to Wheezie’s and Y/N’s surprise, but neither of them were complaining.

Luckily they were able to find parking near the farmer’s market and they wore happy smiles on their faces as they started to wander through. It was hot outside and the perfect cure for a hot summer day was ice cream, which is why their first stop was an ice cream stand. The three of them got different flavors of ice cream, Rafe and Wheezie getting their ice cream in a cone and Y/N getting hers in a cup.

Rafe and Wheezie were both able to finish their ice creams easily as they walked through the stands, Y/N on the other hand was a slow eater and once she got to the last quarter of the ice cream she felt like she couldn’t eat anymore.

Wheezie had run into one of her friends from school and was busy chatting away with them leaving Y/N and Rafe alone. She played with ice cream as she tried to convince herself that she could finish it and Rafe eyed the little hill she had made in her cup, “Are you just gonna play with it or eat it.”

“I don’t think I can eat more.” Y/N told him, she then looked at him curiously, “Do you want to finish it?”

“Are you sure?” He questioned, she nodded and handed him her cup. He was quick to finish the ice cream and she watched him with a smile on her face, causing Rafe to furrow his eyebrows, “What?”

“I guess it’s true what they say, boyfriends are human garbage disposals.” She laughed and Rafe just shook his head.

The trio had wandered through most of the market, going in and out of the many stands. Rafe watched Y/N look at things and offered to purchase them for her, but she promptly declined him every time, but Rafe kept a catalog of what she liked in his head. They were about to turn back and head to the car when Wheezie spotted the flower stand where Y/N had bought her hydrangeas from and excitedly tugged Y/N along with her, Rafe following the pair.

Wheezie had pulled Y/N with her to look at the succulents the vendor had on display along with the unique vases, which left Rafe alone looking at the flowers. He was admiring some of the tulips when Y/N’s words rang through his head and he glanced to where the two girls were and made sure they weren’t watching as he made his way to the vendor.

Y/N couldn’t believe all the different vases the florist had, there were all sorts of shapes and sizes and so many different themed ones. She was holding onto a vase shaped like a pair of rainboots when she realized that Rafe wasn’t near them. She glanced around and spotted him on his phone typing away and smiled at how concentrated he looked. She was snapped out of her daze when Wheezie held a vase shaped like a cowboy hat in front of her.

Wheezie was snapping a picture of Y/N holding onto the funky vases they had found when Rafe finally decided to join them. He had his arms behind his back and Y/N watched him with curious eyes.

Wheezie lit up when she saw him and held up a vase that was in the shape of a convertible, “Rafe look at this vase, isn’t it so cool?”

Rafe nodded, “Yeah it’s cool Wheeze, but I have something cooler.” He moved his arms from behind his back revealing two bouquets, one full of hydrangeas and the other with peonies and tulips.

Wheezie grinned excitedly as she took the hydrangea bouquet from Rafe and rushed from underneath the shade to get better lighting to take a picture, leaving Y/N and Rafe alone.

She wore a smile on her face as Rafe handed her the peonies and tulips, “You got me flowers?”

He shrugged, “Someone really smart told me that flowers are the way into a girl’s heart.”

She couldn’t help but laugh, “Yeah, she must be really smart.”

He grinned, “So you like them?”

“Of course I do.” She told him, she then took a step slightly closer to him, “I wish I could thank you properly.”

Rafe closed his eyes and gulped, “Don’t do this right now, not when Wheezie’s right there. I won’t be able to control myself.”

She laughed and patted his chest, “Keep it in your pants Rafael.”

“You make it hard to.”

She rolled her eyes before turning and heading outside the stand, “You’re impossible.”

---

108 notes · View notes

pattypanini · 3 months

Text

Lay All Your Love On Me

Chapter 10- Always You

Josh Kiszka x Reader and Jake Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 5.6k

TAGLIST

AN: Hi everyone! Here is the tenth chapter of Lay All Your Love On Me from me and @mar-rein12! This chapter is filled with so much fluff. We got asked for more sentimental stuff in our inbox a while ago, so this goes out to them. We have decided with our schedules that we will be posting one chapter every Friday for now on. The chapters will be longer, like the 9th chapter. Nonetheless, we hope you enjoy the tenth chapter, Always You.

PS sorry for the late chapter but we wanted it to be perfect <3

Warnings: 18+, Fingering, Slight coercion, Dirty talk, Slapping, Kissing, Physical and verbal fighting, Blood, Cursing, Angst, FLUFFFFFFFF, Cuddling.

Y/n’s POV

2:14am Jake: I know he’s asleep. Come to the bathroom now.

Oh God. You just told Josh that you want a relationship with him, and tie up loose ends but the ‘loose ends’ have you in a knot.

Nothing good would come from you following him to the bathroom, yet you still wanted to. You're sick. You need to end this. It’s not right for you to lead Jake on and lie to Josh. Would you come clean to Josh about all of this? You weren't exactly sure at the moment, too many thoughts swirling around in your head. You make your final decision, you are going into that bathroom.

You spring off the couch, careful to not wake Josh, and quietly tiptoe down the hallway. You see a shadow approach you and before you know it, he's shoving you into the bathroom. The bathroom being lit by only a small night light above the sink. The door shuts quickly behind Jake and quietly, making sure he does not slam it.

“I need you y/n, please just give me a few minutes baby and let me talk to you.” He begs in a whiny tone.

“Jakey we can’t do this. Josh and I are becoming official soon we can’t… I’m sorry. Trust me if I could have you both I’d take that offer up in a heartbeat”, You begin to walk towards the door, being grabbed before you could reach for the doorknob.

“Y/n baby, please, just talk to me. One more time please.” He begins to guide you with his body back to the counter. Your ass taps against the cool, granite, and you are swiftly lifted onto the counter.

“Jake, I told you we are done.” You say in a loud whisper. His hands begin to travel down along your waist and graze over your hips, a shiver traveling up your spine. You wanted it so bad. But you couldn’t. You can’t hurt Josh again. You aggressively peel his hands off your body, and slam them onto the counter. “Jake, come on.”

His hands find his way back to your hips and he leans in close to you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. You can feel his warm breath fan over your throat, causing your own breath to hitch. “Jake…” You quietly moan under your breath.

“Y/n…” He leans his lips up to graze along the shell of your ear. You give him a little moan, which fuels him to attach his lips to your neck. “It’s not fair that he's the only one to have you tonight.”

“But I am his Jake, I’m sorry that you don’t want to accept that but that's just how it is.” You can’t stop him though, no matter how hard you tried you were enjoying his touch. In fact, you want more.

“I know your body y/n, don’t act like you hate this.” He grabs harder at your hips this time, making you wince. His mouth reattaches to your neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses everywhere.

“Mmm…” you can’t help but give in to him. Your hands find your way to his silky hair, gently pulling at his scalp.

“Fuck, harder.” He sighs against your neck. Without a second thought, you obey him, yanking the hair harder.

“You like me doing this to you, knowing Josh could walk by any second, hearing you moan like a little slut. You probably want him to catch us.” He groans into your ear at your filthy words. “Jake, stop.” Your hand travels up his neck to warn him, squeezing it just enough to catch his attention.

“I can't, darling. You’re too fucking sexy.” His hand starts to travel down your hip and closer to the waistband of your pants. His pointer finger sliding in between your skin and the silky fabric. “Please just let me have you one more time. I'll make it worth your while baby, I’m sure it's gonna be a thousand times better than what you and Josh were doing earlier.”

“Hm, I don’t know about that,” you lean into his ear to whisper,”it was reallyyy good, Jakey.”

He stands there between your legs, his jaw agape trying to process what you had just said. He was speechless. “W-what did you guys do?”

“You don’t want to know Jakey…it might hurt your feelings,” You pout your lips down at him, smoothing his hair down from the knots you caused.

“I just want to know what I can do to make things even better for you.”

“What you can do is keep this whole ‘situation’ between you and I, and never tell a soul. Even if Josh and I weren’t dating it would kill him. So keep your mouth shut, got it? Or I’ll make you.” His eyes widen at your remark, and you see a smirk spread across his face.

“Maybe, I want you to make me.” Jake says as you glare up at him, and grab a hold of the back of his neck. You pull him closer to you, lips almost touching but not quite.

“What do you want Jake, one final time and that's IT. After this, your mouth is sealed and you never speak of this again.” In response, Jake nods at you. “Tell me… that you’re not going to say a single word. I need words, Jake.”

“I won’t tell a soul. I promise.” As he says that, he takes his fingers that are hooked in the waistband of your pants and slides his hand fully inside them. “I just need to feel your pussy one more time. How warm and soaking wet you are.” You gasp as you feel his hand cup your pussy, he looks down to where his hand is inside your pants.

“No underwear? Such a dirty girl. And your pretty pussy is still so wet from earlier when you were with my brother, right?” A chill travels up your spine from his foul words, the only noise you can make is a little whimper, begging for more from him. “Tell me darling, who made this pretty pink pussy soaking wet?”

“Josh, does that make you mad Jakey?” He stares down at you.

“No, because I know I’m gonna make you cum harder with my fingers than he did with his dick.” He quickly swipes a digit over your swollen clit, a sharp moan escaping from your chest.

“Prove it.” Without a second thought his finger pushes hard into your entrance.

Your mouth attaches to his shoulder, biting down hard to suppress your yelp.

“Oh, Fuck.” You release from your mouth into his shoulder.

“Such a slut, letting me finger fuck you while my sweet brother is asleep in the other room. You probably want him to hear you don’t you?” He whispers into your hair.

“No no, I don’t. We shouldn’t be doing this… fuck.” His fingers curl up into you hard, in just the right spot.

“Yet you're sitting here letting me do it to you. Go ahead, get up right now and walk back into the living room to Josh.” His fingers continue slowly. You knew you should go, but you couldn’t allow your body to move. The only movement that your body allows is your hands clutching onto his arms.

“Jake…” you moan louder than you should have. “Give me more, Jakey. Please.”

“More…?” With no warning Jake retracts his fingers and replaces them around your throat. A quick slap is placed across the right side of your face. “... you want more whore? Tell me what you want?” His grip around your neck tightens slightly, willing you to answer him.

“Suck my clit, Jake. Please, I want- no I need it so bad.” Your hands travel through his strands, petting and gripping his hair. At this moment, you have no cares about Josh or what he would think about this. All you know is that you need him. Your concern for your relationship with Josh was out of mind, and that's what made Jake so dangerous. The way he took over your mind, body, and soul was something no one else has ever done. Is Jake the one? But an hour ago there was no other thought than Josh.

“I don’t think you were clear enough darling, repeat that for me.” Jake says in a condescending tone.

Your head nuzzles into his neck, as you speak into it, “I said I need your mouth sucking my clit Jakey. I need you to eat me out, I don’t care about Josh right now I need to squirt in your mouth and for you to tell me how good I taste. Please Jakey I can’t take this anymore. I need your tongue right now. Please please please please…” Jake pets your hair softly.

“Damn baby… you are just so pathetic. How do you think this whole ‘relationship’ with Josh is going to work out when you're constantly running back to me. Can he not please you? Is it gonna be your 1 year anniversary, he’ll take you out to dinner, and then you’ll be running to me that night to get your pussy ate. So upsetting, but good for me.” Jake’s hands begin to travel to your pants once more as he attempts to pull them down.

What am I doing? You finally come to your senses. Hearing it come from Jake's mouth makes you realize how awful and incredibly wrong this is.

You grab onto his shoulders and gently push him back. He looks so confused, you see a flash of worry in his eyes. “D-did I do something wrong?”

“Um, no. I’m- nothing. Thank you for making me realize what's wrong with me.” You hop off the counter and go for the door. “Once I leave this door we never speak of this again, or at all.”

“Y/n.” Jake says with sorrow.

“Yes?”

“I love you.” You see the sadness written across his face. When you leave this bathroom, that would be the end of whatever this was. As much as it pained you and as much as it pained him, it could never work out, only causing more problems.

“Jake… you don’t mean that…” You give him a warning, as you grip the doorknob in your hand turning to look at him.

“But I do mean it. I love you. I’ve loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you, y/n. There were other girls, sure, but none of them are anything compared to you. You might hate me for this and that's fine, but I can’t keep it in any longer. So go date Josh, just know it was always you for me, y/n. It will always be you” Jake walks around you, exiting the room, leaving you there with nothing but your thoughts.

But you couldn’t think. Your heart was beating so fast you thought you might pass out. The room was closing in on you and all you wanted was to leave, but you could never explain it to Josh. His words cut deep, and you can’t say you don’t feel anything towards Jake either.

Your head is spinning and your legs threaten to collapse. You lean your back against the wall, attempting to steady yourself. You slowly slide to the floor, your face resting in your palms. A sob racks through your body, tears beginning to stream down your face.

You were incredibly overwhelmed. With what Jake just admitted to you and your conversation with Josh earlier, you didn’t know what to think. You were embarrassed, but you couldn’t go out there, but maybe the comfort of Josh would help. You're an awful person, you never settled down with one person before. Maybe what people say is right.

I am a slut.

You wanted to dig a hole, bury yourself inside of it, and never come back out. Maybe if you come out to Josh about it all he would understand, but you’ll just have to wait. There’s no way you could tell him right now. You turn on the lights and check yourself in the mirror. After wiping your eyes and fixing your hair. You compose yourself and make your way out to the living room. He was still sound asleep, he was so calm and peaceful. And you had the nerve to go into that goddamn bathroom with his brother.

As you begin to adjust yourself onto the couch you wake up Josh.

“Are you okay y/n?”

Oh shit.

“Yes sorry, I just was getting uncomfortable on the couch.”

“That's okay, we can go back to the bedroom.” He begins to lift himself off the couch and walk back to the room in his groggy state.

When you finally make your way back into the bed, you lay down and are quickly wrapped up by Josh.

“Thanks for tonight Josh, it was very special. I’ve never been on a real date like that.”

“You’ll be getting a million more baby, I promise.” He places a soft kiss onto your forehead before he passes back out. His words alone could have made you cry, but you held it in knowing that doing it would just make tonight worse. You stare at the wall wondering what you had just done, but you knew what you just did, and there was nothing to do but let your guilt eat away at you.

—

Monday classes were a drag. Your mind was spiraling with so many thoughts. It was a very strange weekend to say the least. You spent the weekend in bed deciding what you were gonna do about the whole situation. You decided coming clean to Josh isn’t what you had to do at the moment. You tried convincing yourself that what you did wasn’t wrong but deep down you knew it was.

While you walked to practice you were dreading the full walk through of the show you were going to have to do. You didn’t know how you would act around Josh especially after last night. But there was no time to even think about it because as soon as you walked into the doors he was there.

His eyes dart up from his phone as he stands right next to the doors of the auditorium. A smirk is plastered across his face as he shoves his phone into the pocket.

“Hi baby, I missed you yesterday.” His hands travel to your sides where your backpack wasn’t covering. You just had to go along with it like you always would.

“I missed you too. I’m sorry I didn’t text yesterday. I wasn't feeling the best.” You force a smile, dragging your hands up and down his biceps.

“It’s okay, I hope you’re feeling better. We have a walk through today.” Not being able to stop yourself, you roll your eyes. “Yeah I’m not too excited either, but as long as I’m spending time with you I don’t care.”

A smile forms from the genuineness that he exudes. You begin to make your way down the aisle and drop your backpack on one of the chairs in the audience. You got there a little early so you took a seat, placing your head in your hands. Josh makes his way behind you, feeling two strong hands beginning to massage your shoulders.

“Are you sure you’re okay mama, you don’t seem well.” He leans down to whisper in your ear.

“I’m fine, just not happy about today, I don't want to be here.” He pets your hair softly, pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail with his hands.

“I don’t either, but it’ll be good. Let's just enjoy our time with each other. Wanna get dinner again tonight? We can go wherever you want”

“You don’t need to do that, you just took me to dinner. You could come over to my place and we can make dinner. Charlotte is going to a sorority event, and then going to one of the frat guys' houses tonight.”

“Really baby, that would be awesome. Play a little house?” He says with a cheeky smile.

The idea of living with Josh sounded beautiful. Being able to fall asleep next to him and wake up wrapped in only him and the thick, fluffy duvet. A golden light shining through the window, as you roll over to plant a kiss on his plump lips. Being able to take him wherever and whenever you want. The more you think about it the better it sounds.

“ALRIGHTY EVERYONE! LISTEN UP!” Coleman shouts interrupting your blissful daydream. “As you all know we're doing our first walk through today. We have about three more weeks before the big show. I know this show is going to be spectacular, you guys have been working so hard on this. Many of you have heard through the grapevine that we have a few old friends of mine that are on Broadway coming to see this show. Those of you that are looking to take this to the next level are in luck because they are coming here to recruit and put your name into the industry.”

As cool as that sounds, you knew that wasn’t what you wanted to do, but meeting some big names would be sweet. Josh’s eyes light up though. You know that all he’s ever wanted to do was perform, it’s his calling. Maybe this would be his chance to get his name out there, and you would do anything to help him get that goal.

After getting through the first act you get to the intermission. Everything was pretty smooth except for the part where Sophia tripped you when you were making your way across stage. But thanks to Josh’s improv he caught you and made it seem like it was all part of the show.

After the water break, you hop right back into it with act two. You and Josh’s connection has strengthened so much over the past month, and you were proud. And it was quickly building during the past hour, in many different ways. The tension was building between the two of you. You know Josh’s body and you can tell when he’s turned on. Other than the obvious boner he had, he couldn’t keep his hands off you and was staring at your, well, everything. You have a tank top on that shows your cleavage and midriff, and although you have leggings on that doesn’t stop him from grabbing whatever he can when people aren’t looking.

You were looking forward to tonight, not that you were expecting anything to happen, you were hoping it would. Especially with how he looks today. He had a tight black compression shirt on and gray sweatpants. You would take him in the bathroom right now if you could. The veins in his big hands were making you feral. Along with the sweat was building up around his hairline and made his cheeks red, just how he looks when you're done in bed. You couldn’t ignore your feelings either, the pool between your legs was becoming unignorable.

Running the last act was hard to get through. You were so tired and extra tired with the way Sophia had been acting. She would be trying to lean on him, or touch him whenever she could and it was really pissing you off. You were glad Josh wasn’t playing into it, though, you were wondering how he was feeling about it.

Josh’s POV

You tilt your water bottle up to your lips, taking a big swig. You prepare to run through the entire show for the second time tonight. You were exhausted and just wanted to rest with y/n back at her place. As you were going to turn to y/n and ask her about tonight you feel a cold hand grab your bicep, spinning you to face whoever is grabbing you.

Sophia.

“Hey Joshy, I just wanted to let you know you look so strong and muscular in that shirt. You could probably lift me up and throw me around so easily.” She bats her eyelashes at you, twirling her hair around in her small hands. She wraps her unoccupied hand around your bicep, lightly squeezing.

“Get off me Sophia. I don’t want to be around you, and I’m going to be with y/n tonight anyways.”

She’ll be the one getting thrown around.

“Come on Josh you know you’d rather be with me than y/n. She’s so boring, you need someone who's going to make your life more exciting.” She says adding a little squeeze to your bicep.

As you rip your arm away from her and turn around to find y/n, she is walking up behind you.

“Sophia, he said let go. Clearly he isn’t interested in you.” Y/n says.

“Oh fuck off y/n. He seemed pretty interested at that frat party a few weeks ago. Right Joshy?” She turns to face you again, batting her long eyelashes in innocence.

“Okay, I was trying to be nice but YOU can fuck off. No one here likes you. You’re an annoying pussy ass bitch who sticks around every man like a virus just waiting for one of them to give you a chance. Josh isn’t giving you a chance because he knows how fucking obnoxious and pathetic you are.” Y/n spits at her, sticking up for herself and for you.

“You’re such a fucking cunt. Everyone here likes me except you, did you ever think YOU’RE the problem.”

“Just me my ass. Sophia ‘Bitch’ Michaels. No one fucking likes you bitch, not even the men that are just using you for your body. I know I slept around but you're just pathetic, you're practically begging these men to sleep with you.” Their faces are inches apart now, Y/n’s eyebrows scrunched up in anger, her face beginning to turn red. Sophia forcefully shoves away Y/n. You see a fire light behind her beautiful, sparkling eyes.

“Whatever Sophia.” She begins to turn away back to sit down before it is interrupted by Sophia’s big mouth.

“Pussy.” She grins, laughing at her own remark.

Without any warning, y/n whips around, her hand colliding hard against Sophia’s cheek. You watch as her right hand wraps around her pitch black hair, yanking her to the floor. You didn’t know whether you should step in, but you knew this is what she deserved so you decided to step back and watch it unfold.

Y/n stands there looking down at Sophia, helpless on the ground. She was unfazed. Like she had done it before. Y/n wasn’t one to let someone control or talk down on her. As y/n’s foot winds up preparing to kick her, Thomas pulls her away.

“Someone call the health center!” Coleman says, running over to Sophia’s side. “We’re done for the day, we will be discussing this tomorrow.”

Sophia wasn’t too injured. A nose bleed, bruised cheek, and messed up hair was all that Sophia endured. Y/n was unscathed.

Is it messed up to be turned on by this?

She just looked so fucking hot beating the shit out of her, after all of the things she said. Y/n makes her way to her pile of things to collect in order to leave, completely disregarding the situation at hand. “Y/n?” Coleman speaks, you watch as her shiny hair whips around her shoulders to look Coleman right in the eyes.

“Hm?”

“You’re not getting off that easy. If Sophia goes to report this, there will be consequences.” You notice the worry behind Coleman’s stare.

“Sophia laid hands on me first, so if she wants to go and report it then it’ll be both of us going down. GOT that Sophia.” Y/n yells down to Sophia, still laying on the ground with a hand draped over her face.

“I-I’m not reporting it. I deserved it, I’m sorry y/n.” Sophia croaks out.

Y/n rolls her eyes and goes for her backpack once again, throwing it over her back and turning to Coleman. “I’m not one to do that kind of thing, but I can’t just stand there and take insult after insult Coleman. You have to understand that.” Y/n starts walking furiously towards the door. You quickly grab your bag and follow behind her.

“Baby please wait up.” You say as she quickly exits the building, turning when she realizes you had followed her out. Her face immediately is filled with guilt. “Y/n please don’t feel bad about this. She deserved it.”

“She caused a fucking scene, I never wanted to hit her,” she gives you a knowing look, a smile spreading across her face.

“You lie so fucking bad.” You joke at her, bringing her into a hug.

“You ready to go back to my place now?” You wrap your arm around her neck, as she looks up at you.

“Of course baby lets go.” She begins to walk back to her dorm, walking with her head held high despite claiming she didn’t want to hit Sophia. The sunset was beautiful tonight, almost as pretty as her. The waves of pink, purple, and orange blended together perfectly. You let her walk a little ahead of you before taking a quick picture of her from behind, the sunset cascading around her. When she finally notices your absence she turns to look back at you. You try to hide your phone but she isn’t stupid.

“What are you doing Josh?” Letting out quiet giggles.

“Oh, just taking some pictures of my pretty girl.” You pull your phone back out, snapping a few more candid photos of her.

“Josh…” You watch as her cheeks blush over, you snap another picture of her mid-laugh.

“What? I can’t help it, you're just so beautiful.” She grabs your hands, and begins twirling you around her in a circle. The moment is so perfect. You wish you could replay it over and over in your head.

“I love y- the sunset. It's so pretty. Especially with you standing next to it baby.”

No way you almost let that slip. Did you love her? You hadn’t known her for too long. You didn’t think she noticed the slip up so you went along down the sidewalk to her dorm, like nothing had happened. After finally arriving at the door she unlocks it and lets you in. It had been a while since you were there last, reminding you of a memory you tried to suppress.

She drops her keys and bag onto the dining table, and turns to face you. “So, what do you want to make for dinner? I know we have some chicken in the fridge and I could chop up some potatoes. I think we might also have some green beans too. Maybe rice? Whatever you want to do. Do you cook a lot?”

“One could say I’m a chef.” You smirk at her, leaning on the counter. She playfully shoves your shoulder. “Chicken, potatoes, and green beans sounds lovely my dear.”

She scurries over to the fridge pulling out the chicken cutlets and broccoli, sitting them on the counter. “I can peel the potatoes if you bread the chicken.” She rolls the potatoes out of the bag sitting on the counter, beginning to dig through the drawers in search of the peeler.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to, mama.” You take the cutlets out of the packaging, laying them on a plate. You walk over to the fridge to look for an egg, cracking it into a bowl, and coating the chicken breast in the egg wash. Your mom always had you helping in the kitchen, so cooking was something that reminded you of home.

As you coat the chicken in the breadcrumbs you hear a yelp out of the corner of your ear. When you look over you see y/n holding her hand and a small puddle of blood beneath it.

“Baby, what did you do?” You grab some paper towels and wrap up her cut.

“I don’t know. I’m not the best with the peeler.” She takes the paper towel and squeezes it around her finger.

“Where do you keep your hydrogen peroxide and band-aids?”

“In the bathroom.” You quickly hurry to the bathroom and look in the cabinets to find the supplies. After returning to the kitchen, you lay everything out and assess the cut. It was deep but not to the point where she’d need stitches.

“Give me your hand mama.” You take her hand over the sink and pour the hydrogen peroxide over the cut and let it disinfect it, followed by a wince from y/n. “Maybe I should peel the potatoes. You can put the chicken in the oiled pan… on second thought, maybe not.” She giggles at your remark.

“Maybe I’ll just sit back and admire you, you're going to be an amazing husband and father one day.”

One day? With her?

As if she can read your mind her eyes go wide.

“You know just in general, not with me specifically… not that I was assuming that. I- never mind.”

“Well I appreciate that y/n. I think you’ll be an amazing wife and mom as well.” You look down to her, then her hand. You grab the bandage and wrap her hand around a few times, making sure it was keeping enough pressure on it.

As you continue on with the food, y/n sits there watching your every move. Barely looking down to her phone, it almost looked like she was in a trance. You could see yourself cooking for her everyday. After a long day you’d still come back and cook for her. Whatever she’d want, and spend hours in the kitchen if it was needed. You just wanted to make her happy.

After finishing the food, you plate it up for the two of you and make your way to the dining table. “Josh, do you want me to put a record on?”

“Yes, of course!”

“How do The Beatles sound?”

“Whatever you want mama.” You smile and pull her seat out for her. She runs back and takes a seat as the record begins to play. You both begin to dig into your meals. After a long practice a good meal was needed.

“This is so good Joshy. You need to come over and make me dinner more often.” She smiles and jokes.

“I would baby, I’d come over every day to do it if you wanted me to.” You sounded pathetic, but it was true. You were truly enamored by her. As you both continue to eat and talk about life, specifically practice, and everything going on with it you get to the end of your meal. She takes both of your plates and brings them to the sink, getting ready to wash them.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You ask, making your way over to her.

“I’m gonna quickly wash the dishes before we go to bed, I’m really tired.”

“That sounds boring though.” You pull her into you as All My Loving begins to float through the air. You let the music take you and guide you into a little slow dance. Her head on your chest, arms wrapped around your neck. It felt like a middle school dance, but the girl before you was more special than any other girl in the world. “You’re so beautiful baby, you know that.” She giggles softly into your chest. “I mean it, look at me.” She looks up at you. “Such gorgeous eyes, everything about you is so perfect. I don’t know how I didn’t talk to you before the musical.”

She leans up and gives you a gentle kiss on the lips. “Thank you, Josh. You’re so sweet to me, too sweet.” You feel her hand travel up your neck, threading her fingers through your hair as she tenderly massages your scalp. You continue to sway back and forth with her wrapped up in her warm embrace. You felt at home with her, happy.

You quickly turn off the record, scooping her up and carrying her back to the bedroom. “Joshy, what are you doing?” She giggles.

You plop her on the bed and begin to take your clothing off. She gives you a confused look, not thinking this is where the night was going.

“Don’t worry, I don't wanna do it. But is it weird if I wanna feel your skin against mine. Is that okay mama?”

She smiles, and before giving you an answer starts taking her clothing off. She hops under the covers, you joining in after her.

She lays next to you, feeling the warmth of her skin against yours. It is buttery soft and you never want to forget the feeling. “Goodnight baby, I love… I really loved today.”

You wish you could say it.

“I loved today too, Joshy. Goodnight.” She presses a kiss to your lips.

It was an early night and you knew you would wake up in time for your 2 o’clock class but weren't going to set an alarm for it. If you could sleep through tomorrow with her next to you, you would. Nothing could ruin the relationship you guys have made. You knew that she was the one for you, and you would make that official very soon.

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