#tony can cook
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pandagirl45 · 5 months ago
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Bucky: *passed out after eating breakfast and cuddling Tony*
Tony: *sipping coffee holding Bucky* heh, breakfast food coma
Sam: you cooked him a fat breakfast
Tony: mhm *looks content*
Sam: Food comas are awesome
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emotinalsupportturtle · 1 month ago
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Rivals x textposts
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breezeowci · 15 days ago
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omgahgase · 1 year ago
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kinda need zosan and their little reindeer, devil fruit user son to meet dinluke and their little alien, force user son asap
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camzverse · 2 months ago
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i could sooo easily twist like the first half of the lyrics of one school from 21 chump street to be about ggy. and make an animatic of that. But i wont
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tony-andonuts · 5 months ago
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God I wish I didnt get ostrasised by all but like 4 of my peers because holyfucking shit am I overworked and need a hug
#why cant everyone just be nice like for fucking real!!!!#so sick and tired of looking like Mother Theresa compared to my coworkers bc i do the bare minimum of making the residents feel cared for#like girl we are working with the same cast and crew#will never forget the time a cna came in and after telling them 'hey that guy will get seizures if you give em that' and they replied with#'well they get seizures regardless' AND LEFT#EVIL!!!!!!#andlike#i understand that not everyone has the same memory capacity/ability but oh my motherfucking god#if everyone around me is at baseline then i must be either God or the absolute perfect person#which is saying something bc ive genuinely killed quite a few braincells with my former [redacted] addiction but here i am#knowing the smallest things about everyone that makes em happy#and the thing is is that I WORK IN THE KITCHEN!!!#IM NOT A CNA/RN WHO AT ALL HOURS OF THEIR SHIFT WILL BE INTERACTING WITH THE RESIDENTS!!!#idk man if i were generally mentally n physically well in my 30+s AND gettin outshined by a 21 year old for the past 2 yrs id be embarrasse#cannot fucking wait for my mom to get a job so i can leave mine and take a break#tony speaks#and before anyone says 'the CNAs are overworked and some of the residents can be overwhelming!'#the residents know im nice so they come to me for fucking EVERYTHING!!!!#ESPECIALLY the overbearing ones!!!#AND ON TOP OF THAT I HAVE LITERALLY EVERYONE. STAFF AND RESIDENTS.#ASKING ME WHATS GOING ON WHEN IM BALLS DEEP IN THE AM AIDES BULLSHIT ON TOP OF THE MORNING COOKS#not only do i ghostrun the kitchen but im the guy everyone goes to for everything. regardless of department#im literally a kitchen aide with no further qualifications leave me the fuck alone and ask your superiors/managament FUCK!!!!!!!!
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sunday-arch · 5 months ago
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TAGS REDONE.
.  .   ˚ . SOMETIMES IT TAKES MORE COURAGE NOT TO FIGHT ⸻ makino.
.  .   ˚ . DUTY VERSUS FAMILY ̗ WHAT WILL BECOME OF JUSTICE ⸻ monkey d. garp.
.  .   ˚ . I AM THE MAN WHO WILL BECOME KING OF THE PIRATES ⸻ monkey d. luffy.
.  .   ˚ . TAKE ME OUT TO SEA WITH YOU ! A DESIRE TO LIVE ⸻ nico robin.
.  .   ˚ . PRIMADONNA GIRL ̗ ALL I EVER WANTED WAS THE WORLD ⸻ perona.
.  .   ˚ . I AM FIRE ITSELF. YOU CAN'T EVEN TOUCH ME ⸻ portgas d. ace.
.  .   ˚ . A MAN WHO HAS COOKED ON EVERY SEA IN THE WORLD ⸻ red leg zeff.
.  .   ˚ . LOOKS LIKE IT WAS A LITTLE TOO SPICY FOR YOU ! DEVIL OF THE BLUE SEA ⸻ sanji.
.  .   ˚ . THEY CALL HIM THE DARK KING ̗ THE PIRATE KING'S FIRST MATE ⸻ silvers rayleigh.
.  .   ˚ . I WILL BECOME A RELIABLE DOCTOR WHO WILL CURE ANY DISEASE ⸻ tony-tony chopper.
.  .   ˚ . TO BECOME A BRAVE WARRIOR OF THE SEA ⸻ usopp.
.  .   ˚ . PASSION BLEEDS RED ̗ I CAN SEE THE CORE OF YOU ⸻ riku viola.
.  .   ˚ . I WAS BORN WITH A SWORD IN ONE HAND AND YOUR HEAD IN THE OTHER ⸻ clover d. iselda.
.  .   ˚ . LIKE A RELENTLESS BLADE IN THE DARK ⸻ kazumi haru.
.  .   ˚ . PURE LUCID EVIL ̗ I'D SLEEP ALL RIGHT WITH ALL THAT ON TOP OF ME ⸻ nina liu.
.  .   ˚ . AND THE SEA HAS A BELOVED WHOSE NAME ALL NIGHTMARES KNOW ⸻ otorobashi akai.
.  .   ˚ . BLUE LIKE THE SKY THAT HOLDS GROTESQUE DIVINITY ⸻ quetzal d. luna.
.  .   ˚ . RIDING THE NORTHERN WIND INTO TOMORROW ⸻ zephyr.
.  .   ˚ . LET ME GO MAD IN MY OWN WAY. LET ME LIVE WITHOUT ABANDON ⸻ zhi hua.
#.  .   ˚ . SOMETIMES IT TAKES MORE COURAGE NOT TO FIGHT ⸻ makino.#.  .   ˚ . I AM THE MAN WHO WILL BECOME KING OF THE PIRATES ⸻ monkey d. luffy.#.  .   ˚ . TAKE ME OUT TO SEA WITH YOU ! A DESIRE TO LIVE ⸻ nico robin.#.  .   ˚ . PRIMADONNA GIRL ̗ ALL I EVER WANTED WAS THE WORLD ⸻ perona.#.  .   ˚ . I AM FIRE ITSELF. YOU CAN'T EVEN TOUCH ME ⸻ portgas d. ace.#.  .   ˚ . A MAN WHO HAS COOKED ON EVERY SEA IN THE WORLD ⸻ red leg zeff.#.  .   ˚ . LOOKS LIKE IT WAS A LITTLE TOO SPICY FOR YOU ! DEVIL OF THE BLUE SEA ⸻ sanji.#.  .   ˚ . THEY CALL HIM THE DARK KING ̗ THE PIRATE KING'S FIRST MATE ⸻ silvers rayleigh.#.  .   ˚ . DUTY VERSUS FAMILY ̗ WHAT WILL BECOME OF JUSTICE ⸻ monkey d. garp.#.  .   ˚ . I WILL BECOME A RELIABLE DOCTOR WHO WILL CURE ANY DISEASE ⸻ tony-tony chopper.#.  .   ˚ . TO BECOME A BRAVE WARRIOR OF THE SEA ⸻ usopp.#.  .   ˚ . PASSION BLEEDS RED ̗ I CAN SEE THE CORE OF YOU ⸻ riku viola.#.  .   ˚ . I WAS BORN WITH A SWORD IN ONE HAND AND YOUR HEAD IN THE OTHER ⸻ clover d. iselda.#.  .   ˚ . LIKE A RELENTLESS BLADE IN THE DARK ⸻ kazumi haru.#.  .   ˚ . PURE LUCID EVIL ̗ I'D SLEEP ALL RIGHT WITH ALL THAT ON TOP OF ME ⸻ nina liu.#.  .   ˚ . AND THE SEA HAS A BELOVED WHOSE NAME ALL NIGHTMARES KNOW ⸻ otorobashi akai.#.  .   ˚ . BLUE LIKE THE SKY THAT HOLDS GROTESQUE DIVINITY ⸻ quetzal d. luna.#.  .   ˚ . RIDING THE NORTHERN WIND INTO TOMORROW ⸻ zephyr.#.  .   ˚ . LET ME GO MAD IN MY OWN WAY. LET ME LIVE WITHOUT ABANDON ⸻ zhi hua.#tag drop.
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lupismaris · 2 years ago
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If you can don't wait until 9pm to have your first meal of the day you will inevitably find yourself in a fever dream of pantry based cookery possessed by the ancestors and 'tism cravings
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arttheclown · 2 years ago
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god what an incredible year i’ve had. 2022 was undoubtedly one of the best of my life and i can barely wrap my head around it.
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pympartic · 6 months ago
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:[ ;;// Every now and again I think about this frame from the Episode Ultron-5 it only lasts for about three seconds but I kinda wanna delve into it a little... ]
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Its not some masterfully done drawing nor is it incredibly important to the plot of this episode its more so just.. something about it always hits me a bit I think.
In this moment, Tony knows hes about to tell a man he probably knows better then anyone except Jan, a man he knows is a pacifist, a man he knows is already having a rough day and at a line in the sand moment for quitting the team-
He has to tell this man the creation they made to help people, the robot he tried so hard to use for peace and rehabilitation Just Murdered Their Friend.
I think its specifically because its tony, and in the entire scene he holds a very dower expression (understandably) but I dont think its just because of Thor. I think its also because he Knows exactly the kind of gut punch hank is about to get. It's one tony got a long time ago. Its that punch when you realize something you poured your heart and soul into making has gone out of your control and is killing Good Innocent People. When something you put so much of yourself into starts to do something you never wished for it to do.
Hank is about to feel a similar knife twist that Tony felt and had to confront all those years ago in that cave, and I think Tony has some idea of that.
It's not talked about a lot but the Ultron Episodes while being the catalyst for Hanks eventual mental Spiral they also say a lot about Tony because if you pay attention its clear that as annoyed as he can get with Hank for trying to talk supervillains down, as angry as he is about the ultron situation as much as they butt heads at times because of their different views- Tony Really Cares about Hank.
I think the most obvious example of that comes in the very next episode while the pair are destroying the Ultrons, you see Tony first of all try to patch that wound by trying to offer a shared blame the highlight for me comes with this exchange.
I really wanna Highlight that Tony INSTANTLY tries to pull hank from that train of thought, and also the slow realization on his face about just where Hank is heading with it. Even with the limited animation you can kinda see the transition between 'what is he getting at?' to 'Oh No'
This isnt just in this scene either! Later on when Maria Hill pushes the pressure on Hank for Ultron being his machine, Tony is the one to try and shut that down, likely to try and share blame Again as especially with the ultron they fight later it was heavily upgraded by Tony himself- but he doesn't get the chance to because Hank takes Maria's words very seriously- effectively snapping any thread of a chance of Hank not quitting and inevitably starting his spiral.
I could go on for pages about this and how I think it influences season two Tony's SEETHING distrust and hate for Yellowjacket but- another chat for another time!
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pandagirl45 · 9 months ago
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Tony: *dancing while cooking*
Bucky: *staring*
Tony: *look over his shoulder* soldier
Bucky: you are going to make lose my mind you know
Tony: *laughs dancing over to him* yeah, you knew what you were signing up for
Bucky: *snorts twirling him* I read the fine print and everything
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downthetubes · 8 months ago
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In Memoriam: Doctor Who Comic Writer, Editor and Musician Roger Noel Cook
We’re sorry to report the passing of prolific British comics writer, musician, and magazine editor Roger Noel Cook, perhaps best known to comic fans for his work on “Doctor Who” for TV Comic, who passed away peacefully last weekend
We’re sorry to report the passing of prolific British comics writer, musician, and magazine editor Roger Noel Cook, perhaps best known to comic fans for his work on “Doctor Who” for TV Comic, who passed away peacefully last weekend. Writer Roger Noel Cook with one of his string of sports cars Roger is perhaps best known to the British comics community for such IPC comics as Whizzer and…
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jinouchibhue · 1 year ago
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Edge drew STORYBOARDS for his entrances. 😭 my lil artist heart
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inkedbybarnes · 8 months ago
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unclear
bucky barnes x fem!reader
summary: everyone thinks you're dating bucky, except yourself.
word count: 2.4k
warnings: 18+ minors dni. miscommunication (i love this trope, sue me), angst with a happy fluffy ending, quite stubborn reader, implied smut if you squint, usage of petnames such as baby and doll. lowercase for basically everything.
i haven't finished anything in decades, but i suddenly had an idea just now and decided to write it down. surprisingly, i finished it? might have a lot of mistakes and such since i haven't proofread it yet. also, sorry for using lowercase for this, i kinda like how it looks. hope you enjoy this one!
dividers by @cafekitsune!
comments, reblogs, and likes are highly appreciated. thank you! ♡
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“you're confusing me. so... you're not dating bucky?”
wanda tilted her head, confusion etched on her face as you spent your weekly girl's night with natasha. it usually consisted of eating food you all desired, drinking until you got wasted, and spilling secrets to one another.
although tonight, you weren't sure if you had any secrets to spill.
"as far as i know, no. we're just friends, teammates. nothing else," you answered with a heavy sigh. "can we talk about something else?"
"hold your horses, young lady! we are not skipping this topic again. you obviously want a label but he isn't giving you one!" wanda protested. she has been constantly asking about you and bucky's relationship for the past weeks, and you always had the same answer. you don't know.
"have you never talked about it with bucky? he looks at you like you'd get lost if he looks away for a second. not a single soul in the tower would think that you're just friends," natasha interjected, taking another sip from the bottle of beer she held. she had a point, as always. "if he's just playing with you, which i highly doubt for barnes, then just end whatever that is. you deserve better than having doubts and confusion, babe."
you've tried asking him multiple times, but every attempt felt like you were stepping on his boundaries. after years of being controlled by hydra, you knew it was possible that he'd hate the feeling of being rushed and entering a relationship that could potentially feel like a cage to him.
but natasha was right. your "relationship" was no longer anything friendly. he sleeps in your bed, claiming he slept better in it, and wakes up beside you to shower you with kisses. none of you even tried to hide it after some time. you always cooked your meals and ate them together, casually feeding one another and stealing kisses in between. you even stopped going on dates and you had no idea if you were exclusive. you deserved to know what your relationship with bucky was, but you were too scared to lose everything once you asked.
"we're not dating. i only see him as a friend, so you can both stop worrying about me." you lied through your teeth, your chest aching as you realised how stupid this was. you sighed and faked a smile, shifting the attention to natasha. "so, tell me about your date with steve! how was the first ever date of captain america since the 40s?"
wanda was distracted by the question, immediately bombarding the now blushing widow with questions. on the other hand, your mind flew away for a minute, finally deciding to get an answer from bucky.
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the annual ball that tony stark held for, well, nearly anyone, was nearing. you only had two weeks left, and you haven't even gone out to find something to wear. it was hard to find any motivation to do all that effort when the person you've been waiting to ask you as his date hasn't asked you yet.
although, bucky had a tendency to get shy and hold back. you knew that. so here you were, standing behind the doors to the gym, knowing that bucky would be training at this hour. you still haven't asked him the question you were supposed to ask him, so you decided to do it all at once.
after you've finished your small pep talk, you opened the door to enter the room and your first instinct was to search for bucky.
considering that he was a huge chunk of a man, he was easy to find. however, the sight of him standing in front of a woman that was too close for your comfort wasn't delightful.
he didn't see you entering the room since he was facing the opposite direction, conversing with the agent that happened to be training as well. she had the sweetest and flirtiest smile on her face, bringing her hand up to his arm, slowly caressing it. you didn't mean to easily hear their conversation as you walked closer.
"so, do you happen to have someone for me to have as a date for the ball? i don't want to be lonely on that night, sergeant," the agent said with an extra pout, swaying her hips side to side like a child asking for candy.
"oh, yeah? i think i have someone for you," bucky replied, breaking your heart into pieces with how enthusiastic he was with his answer. "i'm sure you'll—"
you sniffed. unconsciously. not knowing that your tears were already falling, causing your nose to get stuffy. how pathetic, you thought.
your little sniff caught the attention of both the agent and bucky, looking at you in shock. although, the girl was more pleasantly surprised than the opposite. thankfully, you already had your tears wiped before they could see them.
"oh, we didn't see you there!" she greeted you with your name. "we were just talking about our date for this year's ball. who are you bringing?"
"i haven't decided yet, no one's worth it even if i try," you answered bitterly. "so you're going together?"
before bucky could answer, the agent already had her arm wrapped around his, happily smiling at your question. "yeah! amazing, right? i actually thought you two had a thing, but i guess not. glad things worked out in the end."
and that was your last straw. "well, enjoy yourselves. i have to go and find natasha."
you turned to leave, ignoring the loud calls of bucky. you were glad that you never asked him about your relationship and the ball. you were going to be hurt either way.
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you spent the next hours stuck in your room, body covered with a thick sheet as you ranted about your frustrations to friday.
it was silly, you knew that, but you refused to call natasha and wanda to remind you of your stupidity and decided to let an ai robot listen to your problems instead.
"and he even flirted back! answering coyly like a teenager. he's 107 years old, fri!" you whined, not noticing the new nickname you've given the alternative intelligence. "ugh, now i have a broken heart and no date in sight. how did it get to this?"
"perhaps you must discuss this matter with sergeant barnes first. your conversation ended quite abruptly with no clear conclusion."
"no, i don't want the truth rubbed on my face," you said, grabbing another piece of tissue to sneeze in. "you restricted him from entering my room, right?"
friday answered with a yes, then you thanked her for listening and decided to get some sleep after tirelessly crying for hours. you knew you had a team meeting with the avengers in a bit, but you couldn't bring yourself to even walk a few steps.
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your sleep ended and you were woken up with friday's reminder that it was time for dinner with the team.
with a groan, you pushed yourself off your bed. bucky would be there, but you were too hungry to care. it would be awkward, of course, but you had to face him at some point anyway.
your feet padded towards the door, opening it after trying your hair in a bun.
"ah, fuck."
you jumped at the voice and the body falling to the floor as you opened the door.
"bucky?" you asked, still in shock. "were you sleeping outside of my room?"
you watched bucky stand up, his hand massaging his aching nape as he looked for your eyes. "friday won't let me in. i waited outside instead. i guess i fell asleep during that," he explained, a frown forming on his face. "did you restrict me from entering our room?"
your eyes widened at his choice of words. our room. he considered your room to be his room as well. while that would've made you melt in an instant, you were still hurt to entertain that possibility.
"this is my room, barnes. not yours, not ours. and yes, i had you restricted because i couldn't face you yet. what do you need anyway?"
"i wanted to see you, talk to you." a flash of pain crossed his eyes. "whatever happened at the gym, it's—"
"bucky, you don't have to explain anything to me. we're just friends. it's my fault i assumed we were something. i just need some time to get over it."
"but i thought we were something as well..." he replied, his voice was almost as quiet as a whisper. "i thought we were dating."
"were we?" you asked, genuinely curious. "we never.. you never said anything. i mean, yeah, i wished it meant something, but i thought you wouldn't want to be trapped in a relationship with me, so i just waited. apparently, i was right and i can't blame you for that."
"right about what? the thing that happened in the gym this morning?" he asked. you nodded in response. "i know it sounds like i was flirting back, well i didn't know at the moment, until i asked steve who was clueless but he called nat to help me out and explained that it looked like i was flirting back. i wasn't. i was just going to suggest sam as a date for her. i would never agree to anyone."
oh. so he just wasn't interested in anyone at all.
"besides this one girl who's constantly been in my head. that's if she'd even give me a chance and say yes. i fucked it up badly before i could even ask her properly."
you knew what hoping got you, but you couldn't help but think that he was talking about you. he'd have to be clueless to say all those things in front of you only for it to be someone else.
"i love you, baby. i should've told you that, i should've made it clear sooner. i'm so sorry i let you have doubts when i could've been reassuring you about what i feel for you."
"bucky..."
"i would never feel trapped with you, doll. only you made me feel so much love and freedom. i'd be a fool to let go of that. i'm sorry it took a few hits and harsh words from natasha to make me realise that i wasn't giving you enough when you deserve everything." he held your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him. you felt breathless, tears threatening to fall but this time it was out of joy. "hydra made sure i had no voice to express myself. now, i'll use it to let you know that i love you so fucking much that it hurts when you're not around. i promise to work on it. if anything like this happens again, ask me, baby. demand things from me. i'll give you everything in a heartbeat."
"even if i ask for your arm?"
he laughed, a sound that was music to your ears. "it's yours baby. although, i do like fucking you with my metal—"
"bucky!" you scolded him, hitting him lightly on the chest.
"sorry, baby. couldn't help it. missed my girl so much."
his girl. you loved hearing that.
"it's only been a few hours. don't be silly," you reminded him, but you knew you also felt the same.
"i miss you even when i don't see you for a second." you couldn't help but laugh at his words. "something funny, doll?"
"sorry, natasha said something similar about you a few days ago," you answered. "i'm sorry for assuming so quickly, bucky. you deserved the chance to explain."
"and you did let me explain. i can't blame you for assuming and getting hurt when i never gave you the confirmation to believe otherwise. don't apologise for it, baby."
"i love you," you said, causing him to grin widely.
"yeah? you love me too?" he asked, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks. "this is official now, right? we're dating?"
you nodded happily, giggling as he landed a kiss to your mouth. "so, you wanna go to the ball with me?"
he kissed you again. "don't. i'm supposed to be asking you that. i had an entire thing prepared for you, i even dragged half of the team to help me out days ago. besides wanda and natasha, of course. couldn't let them tell you about it."
your heart swelled, he was already planning to ask you before all of this misunderstanding happened, and it could've been solved with communication. lesson learned, indeed.
"well hurry because i can't wait to say yes," you playfully threatened him, kissing the tip of his nose until the loud rumble of your stomach interrupted your sweet moment. "ah, right. i was on my way to eat dinner when i opened the door."
bucky laughed, his eyes twinkling witth adoration as he kept his eyes on you. "we can't have you starving, that's for sure. come, let's get you something." he held your hand, and dragged you to the kitchen. he turned to look at you with a playful smile. "wanna cook together like the old times?"
you smiled. "like the old times."
in the middle of your cooking session, you heard whistles and claps along with the footsteps that entered the kitchen. you both turned to find the rest of the team with shit eating grins.
"finally! so is this real or do we need to smack your heads?" tony asked, his hand placed on his hip.
"it's always been real, stark," bucky answered, wrapping his arm around your waist. "except this time, i'm making sure my entire world knows it."
"i think everybody knows you have a thing for each other, barnes." clint added.
"i meant my entire world, not everybody." bucky looked at you with awe. "she's my world."
bucky's answer gained various loud reactions from the team, mostly calling him a cheesy old man and fake gags, but there you were, cheeks heating up as you looked back at him with the same amount of love, if not more.
and he did ask you to be his date to the ball the day after, surprising you with his so-called secret plan.
a year later, he surprised you with a ring as he knelt on one knee.
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if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌
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randomshyperson · 7 months ago
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My Sweet Valentine - Wanda Maximoff Oneshots
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Summary: Delayed in planning Valentine's Day, you and Wanda try to do something together. The spider routine ends up getting in the way, but that doesn't mean the date was lost.
Warnings: (+18) bottom!wanda, enchanted strap, creampie, fingering, dry humping, very fluff and domestic, established relationship, both r and w are briefly specified to be introverted. | Words: 3.206k
A/N-> I had this idea while I was rewatching Sound!Euphonium, I didn't catch the relation to it but I ended up writing this on my phone again so forgive me if there are spelling mistakes. It's always great writing Spider!Reader, I hope you enjoy it.
General Masterlist | AO3 |
-&-
To plan Valentine's Day with your girlfriend should be an easy thing. 
But for two Avengers who happen to be the most introverted antisocial people on earth - and those were Natasha's Romanoff words, not yours - the task could be really hard.
But it was you and Wanda's first Valentine's Day as a couple and you were really late on schedule.
While Natasha planned to have the most incredible and romantic trip to Greece with Maria and Tony and Pepper made reservations at some exclusive fancy Italian restaurant, you and Wanda were side to side laying on your apartment carpet. Trying to decide what you could do together by reading some flyers that were spread around the floor.
Wanda had one of the fancy restaurants in her hands when she suggested: “How about dinner?”
You gaze at the restaurant propaganda, recognizing the name and the building from your little web-swinging adventures.
“The Geller’s is nice but it will be really crowded during Valentine's. And we both hate when places are too full.” You reason, receiving an agreement sound. “Maybe we can ask for takeout?”
Wanda chuckles. “On Valentine's Day? Every place will mess up our orders, I'm sure of it. Places are normally understaffed, ordering food on holidays is like asking for them to mess up your food.”
You sigh deeply. “Yeah, you're totally right. So, maybe I can cook?”
She smiles. “We are going for food poisoning then, huh?” She teases making you chuckle with an expression of false offense. You playfully bumped your shoulder on hers but you don't move away after. The touch is warm and nice. “You cook then.”
“Yeah, but is not like we would find any free spots anywhere. We delay this way too much.” She mutters without sounding really upset. Her words were true, you both have been dancing around this date for almost three months now ever since Tony showed everyone his and Pepper's reservations. But neither of you was that anxious to be locked with another hundred couples in some loud restaurant with extra expensive and not-that-good food.
The restaurants were not the only thing discarded - Yelena and Kate's idea of a date, and band concerts were also politely declined. Mostly because neither you nor Wanda felt like facing a whole weekend of poor public hygiene and the crazy routine of musical festivals while babysitting Natasha's little sister who would definitely get really drunk with her girlfriend.
Steve was the one who suggested the most quiet and family thing, a road trip to the countryside. But since he was going with Bucky and you and Wanda didn't wish to be traumatized by their physical display of affection, their invitation was also declined.
Back on the floor of your apartment, you helped Wanda with the papers around the floor.
You were worried she would be upset about the lack of plans - even Sam with his eternal bachelor status was having a date night with some old colleague from the army. You worried that Wanda might think you're not excited to spend time with her when it is pretty much the opposite of it.
“You know, we don't really have to do anything just because everyone is doing.” You start, hands ready to catch the papers she's bringing. “We could just watch a movie.”
Wanda smiles, the papers are put in your hands but she doesn't move hers away.
“If you brought wine it would be like any other date night.”
“That's not a bad thing, right?” You retort immediately, eyes anxious towards hers. She frowns, a confused chuckle escaping her.
“No, I mean… you think that too right?”
You shrug; “I just want to spend Valentine's and any other day with you, Wands. What we are doing doesn't matter much.”
She smiles, coming closer to kiss you on the lips. But the kiss is quicker than you wished. One of her hands caresses your cheek as she speaks:
“Good to know, darling, 'cause I'll be watching you do the dishes tonight.”
You chuckle, rolling her eyes at her teasing but pouting when she escapes your attempt at a second kiss.
-&-
Valentine's Day is unfortunately a busy day for the spider.
It was true that you and Wanda didn't plan anything big but you wanted to bring her some flowers and her favorite chocolate but after fighting another dressed-up lunatic at the city hall and avoiding three different catastrophes, anything inside your backpack was definitely destroyed.
You swing back into your apartment with the mess of your gifts dripping to the floor. The wine bottle broke and soaked the chocolate and the poor flowers. Bye-bye to any college homework you forgot there.
Throwing the item at the sink, your body towards the couch was the second thing you threw. 
And against the soft pillows the day tiredness caught up at you. With the thought that you would rest your eyes for five minutes, you woke up hours later with the door locked.
Wanda's angry arrival was also an efficient clock.
“God, what is wrong with you? I've been calling you all day!” She slammed the door behind her, and the next second the day's newspaper was thrown at you. “Do you have any idea how worried I was? We have talked about this! You can't just fight some three-sized villain and vanish without a word! I thought-” But she stops herself, taking a deep breath when her voice cracks. You feel so terrible sorry. You know very well that Wanda has lost enough people for the whole ghosting thing to be too hard on her. Intentional or not. 
You get up. “Hey, I'm so sorry Wands, my phone broke and I came right here and closed my eyes for like two seconds. I'm sorry.” But Wanda shook her head, covering her eyes for a moment. She was not even that mad at you, it was clearly an accident that you forgot to call. But she has been so nervous all day worried about you that she needed a minute. Suddenly, she catches a glimpse of the wine-soaked flowers at the kitchen counter and frowns. “What is that?”
The slight indignation about the mess of an apartment you both worked hard to keep clean vanished the second she realized those were gifts.
You fixed your hair awkwardly. “Hm, I was trying to make a romantic gesture. But I forgot I'm always on some freak radar.”
Wanda's hands reached for the flowers and as gentle as her touch, her magic flowed from her fingers to take all the wine away. In no time, the petals were as beautiful and healthy as when you brought it.
“This is really not fair, darling.” She starts, moving to check the rest of the gifts. “You made it to the front page and I have every right to be mad you didn't call through the suit to let me know you're alive.” You wanted to mutter that you're still getting used to the new suit and its high-tech functions, but Wanda is turning at you again with crossed arms.
“It’s not fair, how hard you're making to stay mad at you.”
You gave her a lopsided smile. “So, you like the chocolate that much, huh?”
She rolled her eyes, trying to contain her smile. “Why don't you go shower while I make dinner? There's grease from Rino's suit all over your face.”
You click with your tongue, swinging a little. “Let me guess, you not joining me at the shower is my punishment for not calling through the suit?”
She finally let that smile escape. “Clever girl.”
You chuckle to yourself before nodding and heading to the bathroom.
-&-
Forgotten dinner plates at the living room table when Wanda reached the chocolate box. She shared them with you during the sitcom marathon you too were doing but after finding yourself hypnotized by her laugh for the fourth time in a row, you gave up eating at all.
The last chocolate was put away when she caught you staring.
“What?” 
“What what?” You retort with a chuckle, having some pride over the soft blush of her cheeks.
“You were staring.” She says then, drifting her gaze from the TV to you with some resistance. You know her enough that it's because Wanda is terrible at hiding her own shyness under your loving glance. She always was. 
“Can you blame me?” Your teasing just makes her blush more. You just decide to make it worse. “You're simply too charming not to be looked at. So gorgeous, so pretty. I feel so lucky.”
“Stop it.” She giggles with rosy cheeks at your praise. But despite her words, she opens her arms as an invitation for you to come closer. You practically jump from your spot - a few centimeters from her since your last trip to the kitchen to grab sodas - and greet the warmth of her embrace.
Wanda hugs your body while you melt into her, the soft caress on your spine being more than enough to bring back your interrupted slumber that evening. But somehow you manage to stay wide awake, perhaps because the way you press your face into her boobs makes her giggle and playfully tug at your hair, which happens to have a completely different effect on you. 
Her body tenses up a little when your lips start sucking at her collarbone, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. You suddenly recall that it has been some time, a week maybe two since you had enough free time to be this close. 
Your lovely girlfriend probably missed you as much as you missed her.
The soft sucking turns into something more determined, then into a bite and a licking that turns Wanda into a panting mess. She grows restless under you, fingers tugging at your hair with some guidance towards your movements in her neck until finally, your mouth meets her again.
Hot open-mouthed kisses before softer ones. You kiss and she kisses you back until all of your clothes are disheveled around your bodies and she looks up at you with pleading eyes and slightly open lips. Begging for more.
“Wanna take this to the bedroom?” You suggest inches from her lips but she shakes her head, fingers dancing under your shirt.
“You can have me right here.” She whispers back, stealing all your coherent thoughts for a second. 
Your hands are shaking a bit with eagerness when you pull at your clothes, with Wanda's help they are off in no time. Her chest heaves when you take her top off and Wanda stares back while you can't seem to be able to look away from her tits.
“You good there?” She teases you breathlessly when your lack of action lingers. You chuckle, hands at her sides. 
“Yeah, just give me a minute.” You retort managing an affectionate roll of eyes from her.
“You're such a dork.” She giggles but purposely lifts her chest in your direction, making you swallow hard. When you don't take the bait immediately, she sighs. “I would love for you to more than stare, detka.”
You groan, hovering over her. “Well, your wish is my command, madam” You reply, leaning down to capture her lips. Teasing Wanda with soft bites on her lower lip every time you break the kiss before starting another turns her into a needy mess under you. She gets impatient very quickly and brings her hands to your cheeks, pulling you down with determination. Her tongue takes the lead in a heated kiss that takes all the air out of your lungs. 
Panting against her mouth while trying to match the intensity of her demand, you let your hands grope around her body towards her chest, effectively taking the lead again when you start playing with her hardened nipples and Wanda loses her ability to kiss you back.
When she whimpers into your mouth, her hips restless while your fingers pinch her cute tits, you chuckle. “Ah, is there something you want, baby?”
She struggles to speak firmly. "I need you to stop teasing and fuck me." You grunt at her answer. You would have obeyed immediately if you hadn't been able to feel Wanda shaking. She gasps as you adjust, your knee finding her middle and giving her something to grind against as you resume your actions on her breasts. She throws her head back, biting her lip hard as her hips move almost of their own accord.
It's a hot mess, her first orgasm of the night. You didn't even have to take off all her clothes. When Wanda shivers terribly, and you feel the wetness against your knee, you bite down at her tit and that makes her let out a muffled scream.
Wanda is panting and her face is very flushed when you look at her again, her expression satisfied after an intense orgasm.
You hum happily, moving your hands down as you tilt your face to kiss her on the lips. She gasps into your mouth when she feels your fingers draw a path through her ruined panties.
"You made such a mess, sweetheart." You whisper between one kiss and another, two digits pushing gently without even removing her underwear. Wanda arches toward you, squeezing your shoulders for something to hold on to. Her green eyes are completely dilated now and you love how they display a vulnerable begging. Pulling your fingers out again, you let your thumb draw circles on her covered clit and enjoy the way her thighs tremble around you. "Tell me what you want, Wanda."
She has a little difficulty responding while feeling you teasing her, but despite noticing her heartbeat against your fingertips, you don't interrupt your movements. If anything, they become even more determined. Wanda pants, hips trying to match the rhythm of your fingers.
"C-can we use the strap tonight?" She manages out of breath. "I like feeling you come inside me."
Your witch girlfriend's favorite toy is somewhere in the room, and given the busy schedule of two superheroes, it wasn't used as often as you would like. Wanda has barely suggested, and you're already nodding, panting aroused just imagining yourself stretching Wanda again.
But suddenly your fingers push the fabric out of the way, and you sink inside her without warning, ripping a moan from her throat.
"Give me one more first." You demand, watching as Wanda nods in near desperation, brow furrowed at her rapidly building orgasm. Your rhythm is brutal, and she squeezes and squeezes until you can barely push your fingers inside her. You bring your free hand to one of her thighs, forcing her open as you adjust to improve your reach. Wanda sees stars. She lets go of your shoulders to grab the cushions and ends up destroying half of them with magical expelling when she finally falls over the edge.
An impressed chuckle escapes you at the scene. You're usually the one responsible for destroying things with your spider strength - It's always nice to see Wanda lose some of the control she's fought so hard to have.
Kissing her softly, you feel her smile in some exhaustion. She needs a few seconds, so you pull out your fingers and suck them clean while green eyes watch you from below. Wanda wants to kiss you again, but you adjust to carry her on your lap, and after two orgasms in a row, she won't contradict you.
She feels the soft blankets against her back a moment later and relaxes fully into the bed as you move around the room working to find and put on the strap. It doesn't take more than two minutes, yet Wanda sighs impatiently before letting her hands roam her own body, pinching her breasts and teasing downwards. She bites her lip at the soaked state she finds herself in, tentatively collecting some of that moisture before hearing a husky laugh that makes her look up.
"You don't have to play alone, I'm right here." You let her know softly, but Wanda swallows at the sight of your naked figure and the enchanted hardness between your legs. Of all the things she learned to do, that honestly has to be her best spell. One of your hands grabs the silicone, instinctively or not, imitating the masturbation gesture that Wanda is making and she shudders to the tips of her toes, her body on fire. Her hand moves out of her panties immediately, raising it into the air in a beckoning gesture. You don't need to be told twice.
It's a breathless kiss when you reach her face again, equally eager to feel each other, there's a little war of pushing and pulling until Wanda feels completely pressed into the bed, the strap rubbing against her entrance.
You pull away when she whimpers - It's just to pull down her panties, and Wanda kicks the item away as you climb back up. Your mouth finds hers again so that when you align the strap and sink into her, you can swallow her moans.
The stretch is slow and careful, very different from the breathless way you were making out a few minutes ago. Wanda lets her nails dig into your lower back as you fight the urge to be rougher.
She gets used to the size very quickly, the creaminess of her previous orgasms making an obscene sound that makes her ears redden. You break the kiss to ask if she's ready and the only response you get is a determined throw of her hips up that registers her impatience.
In all quickies, you're always rough. Desperate to feel her, because you miss Wanda as much as she misses you, and in the rush, there's no time to prolong moments like this. But it's the first time in many months that you're relaxed, and you can thrust slowly and sensually inside Wanda, letting her feel every movement of your cock inside her warm walls as you kiss her and whisper praises in her ear.
Heat is spread under your skin, and sweat accumulates with the slow stimulation. You feel closer each time you sink inside her, and when Wanda starts whimpering in your ear, it feels like an impossible task to hold it.
"You're close?" You pant, hips starting to buckle. "I don't think… I can hold it anymore... Wands-" You choke, letting your face fall against her collarbone. The knot in your abdomen explodes without warning, and you moan deeply as you spill yourself inside Wanda, the enchanted strap vibrating inside her. It turns out that feeling you come was the push she needed, and Wanda sobs as she feels the blinding pleasure hit her, following you into climax a second later.
For a moment, all that can be heard in that room are your breathless sighs until your hoarse and satisfied chuckles emerge.
You remain inside her when you adjust so that you rest your elbows on the mattress and see her face.
"Hey, little witch."
She pushes back her sweaty hair with one hand, the other moving to rest on your neck. "Hey, spider."
Your nose brushes against hers. "I think we nailed Valentine's Day."
She giggles before pulling you for a kiss.
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hurtspideyparker · 3 months ago
Text
If Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together Part 2
Read Part 1 and Part 3
Tony: Why is Underoos mopping the ceiling?
Sam: Told him since he's sticky that's his chore
Bucky: It's only fair he helps out around the house
Tony: Hm. Makes sense
-
Vision cooked dinner:
Peter: *pushing around food to make it look eaten*
Natasha: *surreptitiously spitting into napkin*
Steve: *taking small bites with tons of water*
Bucky: *just stares at full plate*
Tony: Well this is disgusting, I'm ordering pizza
-
Sam: C'mon man stop moping around, you gotta get yourself a girl
Bucky: Ok.
Sam: Ok? Okayyyyy! I know-
Bucky: Give me your phone
Sam: Oh you got a number in mind already hotshot? *hands phone over*
Bucky: *ring* Hi Sarah ;)
Sam: BOY-
-
Peter: Ned thought you would seperate your colours from your lights but he also thought you'd be homophobic so I don't pay him much mind cuz clearly I'm more of a superhero expert than him but he does have a 2% better average than me in history so like maybe you do hand wash your clothes and that's why I asked what underwear you wear because-
Steve: *listening intently with apprehension and alarm*
Natasha: I can't believe you found the one person on Earth who talks more nonsense than you
Tony: I know right, it's incredibly unnerving. I'm planning on adopting him
-
Peter: Mr. Stark I have to tell you something. I think Vision is a... *whispers* pervert
Tony: Um, why?
Peter: He keeps floating through my room without knocking! He saw me changing, he saw my nipples !
Tony: Well if anyone's a predator here it would be you. I mean showing your nipples to a 2 year old? Deplorable.
Peter:
Peter: Oh god, I'm the pervert...
-
Bucky: Y'know animosity isn't good between teammates. I think we should spend more time together
Sam: Am I being punked right now? Where's the camera
Bucky: I'm serious. I think it would be healthy for us to bond
Sam: Okay fine I'll bite... what did you have in mind
Bucky: Wanna go for a run?
Sam: *slams door in Bucky's face*
-
*staring at Bucky's sparkly clean metal arm*
Bucky: Dishwasher?
Peter: Dishwasher :)
(later that day)
Bucky: I've decided to let the child live
Peter: YoU wHaT?!
-
Thwip
Tony: Who took my coffee cup, It was right here
Thwip
Bruce: Um, has someone seen my book? I just had it
Thwip
Steve: I could've sworn I was holding a pen a moment ago
*giggling from the ceiling*
Tony: Young man I will take those webshooters away if you use them for shenanigans and rascality
Peter, muffled: Mr. Hawkeye told me to!
Clint: Oh so you're just gonna rat me out like that?
Peter: Sor- OOF
*falls out of ceiling vent*
-
Sam: You're in my spot
Bucky: There are no spots, it's a common area
Sam: Well that's my spot
Bucky: Did you buy the chair??
Sam: No, but everyone knows that's where I sit. Right Steve?
Steve: Oops I forgot something in my car, be right back *leaves*
Sam: Still my spot
Bucky: Still not
Sam: *sits on him*
Bucky: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL THE COUCHES ARE FREE-
Sam: IT'S MY SPOT YOU CAN'T TAKE A MAN'S FAVOURITE CHAIR-
BUCKY: YOU HAVE ISSUES GET OFF ME-
(one hour later)
Steve: Hey so turns out I don't have a car! Isn't that funn...
Sam & Bucky: *Squeezed awkwardly on the chair together*
Steve: I think I left something in my car
-
Steve: Leave the bedroom door open when you have Vision in there
Wanda: UGH you're so protective
Tony: Teenagers, am I right? Caught Pete reassembling my particle accelerator at midnight because he needed to neutralize a miniature nuclear bomb he nabbed off some guy he neglected to tell me was trying to kill him
Steve:
Steve: Wanda y'know what do whatever you want
Wanda: Really?
Steve: Yes just keep being normal. At least I can read about our issues in a parenting book
-
Thor: Ah, new warriors I see! Good to make all your acquaintance. But why are you so grumpy my friend?
Bucky: *glaring*
Peter: He's always like that. It's um, P- P- PMS? Wait -
Natasha: Yes it's PMS
Wanda: He's got it bad
Steve: *genuinely concerned* Bucky you didn't tell me something was wrong. What can I do to help?
Bucky:
Bucky: I like chocolate
-
Wanda: Welcome to the first annual girls night! This place reeks of men, so I thought we needed some women time
Pepper: Why is Vision here?
Wanda: I get sad when he's gone
Natasha: Why is Pietro here?
Pietro: Slay queens
Wanda: Moral support I think
Maria: Why is Peter here?
Wanda: He looked really upset when I said he wasn't included and I felt bad
Wanda: Anyways... yay girls! Who wants me to paint their nails?
Peter: ME ME ME
-
Steve: Pancakes or waffles?
Natasha: Pancakes
Steve: Good because I don't have a waffle maker
Natasha: Then why would you ask-
Steve: It's important for your voice to be heard, as team leader I value your opinion
*2 minutes later*
Steve: Good morning Clint, pancakes or waffles?
Clint: Waffles
Steve: Oh no.
-
Some of these were based on requests (ex. more Sam & Bucky, dad Steve w/ Wanda) so if you have certain dynamics you enjoy let me know !
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