#today’s activities consisted on:
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and to think i was going to finish and post a yuki fic today… *sigh* may the blessed day be tomorrow i suppose
# ﹒✶ ˖ ࣪ steph talks !#today’s activities consisted on:#food#extensive f1 sibling talk#waiting#f1 family talk#more food#not enough water#writing uni essay#more talking#making the family with contacts talk#debriefing and emotional preparation#break#finally finishing intern report#celebration food and wine#full stop#wine in the floor#SCREAMING#IT HAPPENED IT HAPPENED IT AAHQHENEHEB#cleaning wine on the floor#talking every single opinion that goes through our minds about LH to ferrari#bed#now i’m here#goodnight#f1
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Happy 10 Year Anniversary to BBC's The Musketeers 🎉
#the musketeers#bbc musketeers#mod posts#i had wanted to do something special for this anniversary but stuff in my personal life happened and i forgot to prepare#but i hope to set up a queue and have this blog be more consistently active in the next few months#today is the anniversary of the first episode on BBC but it didnt aire in north america (my region) until April 20th#so we can have a 3 month celebration 😁
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it's like the thoughts saw me all worn out by being sick and decided this is the time to move in. so many possibilities. so many ways i could kill myself. not going to though
#not today#nor am i actively planning to kill myself at any point#there's a style of discord status i use when im seriously considering suicide and i realised the other day that it's consistent when i took#it down#(did i mention i was extremely close to committing suicide last thursday? talked myself out of it though)#idk why im saying this#tw suicide#ignore me#truly though im fine#a part of me is tempted to simply present to emergency instead of turning up to my exam on monday idk#or maybe i just do the exam and hope im with it enough to pass. maybe kill myself after. as a treat#no no i joke#i really shouldn't joke about this stuff tho sorry#just ignore me#i dont want to die i just want things to be different#and i rlly want to stop seeing all medical professionals but thats currently not possible unless i just. cancel everything. hide out in my#house. whatever.#which im not gonna do rn#it's too late for this lolol#im just staying up for another like. half hour. before it's not Too Early to go to bed. i am so tired
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#today i’m feeling very bleh#which is why i haven’t been active today#i’ve just been knocked down consistently all day and i just don’t have the energy to fight it#today has beaten me lmao#but yeah a week til my birthday and feeling GREAT#i’ll be back tomorrow if not later tonight to reblog stuff x
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🗒
#blessings roll call!#feel free to hop in the tags or replies <3#started my new job this week-- working as a PT tech at a rehab clinic#that training is going well and it's such a blessing to not have to be actively searching for a job during the semester#since I've got a very full class schedule trying to find time to apply and interview would be a nightmare rn#so grateful that got done literally right before the semester picked up#and now I can focus on learning the job. also praise that all my coworkers are kind and patient.#school is going better than expected. there's a lot to do but so far I'm doing really well in all my classes#and singing in choir has been such a joy!#we have so many gorgeous pieces including a Sara Teasdale poem arranged for chorale#it sounds heavenly! the solo is lovely and the alto part is a lot of sustained notes that come together with the other parts to make this#insane almost organ-like sound#got to chat with my bestie today at my other job which was good#homemade soup!#food in general actually. The first week or two of the semester I was subsisting on nothing or junk food#and got to the point where I was starting to feel like crap and went grocery shopping#I've been bringing meals to college and work the last 2 weeks and it's made such a difference!#and I missed eating vegetables and actually getting protein so now I have nutrient-dense meals and it's great#actually getting close to enough sleep and it's been great#talked to my grandparents about visiting over Christmas break and they're down so I might be going to see them soon!#hanging out with my sister a bit more now that we drive to school together#despite being super busy it's been a good month. ups and downs but overall the best September I've had in a while#prayer request-- the one thing I haven't been consistent with is my quiet times.#definitely struggling in that area right now. please pray I can spend time in worship and prayer and study even when I don't feel like it <#college chronicles#journal
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I try to fit in at work by participating in collective commiseration but in my heart I am feeling like "GOD I feel fucking incredible do these fucking idiots not know about performance enhancing drugs or what"
#also I was. by choice. the one doing all the most physically demanding work these past 4 days. because I'm the only one physically capable.#because whenever i let anyone else even attempt to do so they would take so much time that it scared me.#If I wasn't there#they wouldn't have finished. Plain and simple. What was a 4 day project would've taken 7.#or more#This is a consistent issue btw they schedule teams that dont make sense for the project.#i was working with a really slow 60 year old woman who was stoned all day#and a 75lb indian boy who smokes a pack of cigs a day#and a tiny new girl who was trying her best to keep up#and my sedentary lifestyle team lead#we had pin girl the first 2 days#yestersay the district manager popped by to help briefly at the end of the day#and then today we had some dude helping but by that point i mean all the hard shit had been done#ok but obviously i was doing better at the easy stuff too and by the end of the day when everyone was shutting down i was just starting#to really pick up speed#like i was actively perfecting my techniques. it was incredible. it felt incredible.
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hi. important little thingy, may not be able to draw for a bit, weening off one of my meds but it seems to uh. well there seems to be some unforseen consequences that make it hard to do anything! oops!
#to delete later#just kind of a heads up for if I'm less active too#+ if I'm less talkative on discord. this is also why.#should be fine.. will probably call about it today but other than that#yeagj will just . idk. not like i drew consistently anyways HEJDBHRJEBRHE#but like. Yknow!
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if i ever bring back brifdi daily i think im probably gonna take a few shows off the wheel. honestly there's a few on there that i only put on for the sake of the novelty of having a lot of different shows so the wheel would be really big
#now that object shows aren't my active main interest anymore there's a few shows i dropped#there's a handful of shows that held my attention enough to keep up with but i wasn't Really invested in#let's see uhh. i'd probably take showvember off#mostly because i never really know how i wanna draw them because none of them have consistent characters#... also object kerfuffleOooopsy#cute show but unfortunately i became a bit annoyed by the creators' inability to stop complaining about how modern bfdi isnt presplit bfb#probably should've just unfollowed them a long time ago but at the time i kinda wanted to keep up with how the show was doing#bri talks#this has been bri retrospectively complains about the osc time. join me next time for. Idk whatever#hi guys hiii Helloooo Hiiii how are you i ate an apple today
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Ah right. The post therapy migraine.
#today's i think is moreso just how much tension we've been holding since Friday#rather than sharing too much like in some other recent sessions#so today's may have been inevitable regardless of whether or not we had therapy#I've pretty much been in an activated state consistently since Saturday and muscles show it#galactic gab
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sorry for being annoying on here today i just have a lot of love in my heart <3
#teehee#i havent been consistently active on this account in ages rip to anyone who followed ages ago whos getting spammed w shit today ily
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sometimes a day is just a wash, and that's that
#text post#spent too much of today asleep and or feeling Bad (menty b flavoured)#the depression cycle is weird on the Lamotrigine like#i am aware i feel bad but not enough to be actively suicidal like usual#so it's this weird dull consistent jabbing thing in my chest now instead of a stabbing black pit#which is better? yet#im still sitting here like 'well i can't be depressed if im not at my rock bottom'#but yet. nah all the symptoms are here: worse insomnia apathy over my usual fave things struggling to convince myself to eat/shower/etc#but it doesn't feel quite As Bad so i can't seem to compute the experience of this part of the cycle now
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"you can't put alicent in a mother's day asoiaf comp because she's not a good mother and that's okay :)" but you have no problem with cersei fucking lannister in it when half her affc chapters are just about how abysmally she fails as a mother to her children so i think you're just a cunt
#personal#anti hotd fandom#'um cersei loves her children' yeah so does alicent#but you're not gonna convince me that cersei is a good mother#it's like a huge part of her that she kinda can't be because of how narcissistic she is and all her other issues#she loves her children yeah but she's way too permissive of them#(which leads to disaster like we saw with joffrey)#and she can be downright cruel to tommen to keep him under her control (cuz she doesn't want him to die yes but still)#if alicent can't be in something as inconsequential as a fucking mother's day post because even tho she loves her children#(and has to deal with a much more precarious political situation and her extreme youth when she became a mother and no support)#then be consistent and acknowledge that those same critiques also very much apply to cersei#(personally i think that cersei is more of a Bad Mom than alicent for a wide variety of reasons)#(but i don't restrict female characters to their roles as mothers cuz i'm fucking normal)#honestly you can make a case for rhaenyra not being allowed on any good mother list either because of her lies about her sons' parentage#and how that actively contributes to making their lives difficult and screwing them over and also her war leading to their deaths#anyway today is my day to be absolutely petty about fandom bullshit that doesn't mean anything cuz man sometimes team black pisses me off#it's just another version of those 'i wish alicent was the evil hag bitch from the books that i totally loved i swear' disingenuous bs post#'it's okay to admit alicent is a bad mother and bad person guys' yeah it's okay for YOU to admit you just don't like the character#big 'we loved cersei for the villain she was even tho we actually all hated her guts and harassed lena heady about it' vibes tbf
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>:[
#ive lost like all fear of dogs at this point. i realized that earlier today when a massive rottie started a fight with my boy#and my first instinct on seeing flying teeth was to sprint towards them and shove my body in between#its very possible it was also just all self preservation leaving my body because i am absolutely going to protect my pup#i would probably fight a bear for him there is no question that i would forcibly shove another dog off with my forearm#but fuck. despite the fact that i /know/ better sometimes i have a real real bad fatigue week and i use dog parks. i have like.#a selective list of ones that i will go to categorized by 'least likely to become a boxing ring'. tons of space. multiple separate areas.#i go only at off times when its not busy! i watch dog body language and keep an eye on him at all times.#ill rotate areas if i spot a potential problem. i have him under verbal control and wouldnt even be there if i didnt. but! like!#despite all that. just fucking anyone can go there. 'oh your dogs a puppy thats why my dog attacked him!' idgaf.#speaking as someone who has raised a reactive dog. if your dog is reactive why in the absolute hell would you take them to a dog park.#why!!! lif your dog is consistently fighting other dogs why would you do that! it does not matter if he 'only attacks dogs that arent fixed'#he is still obviously not having a good fucking time and is not going to enjoy this environment holy shit#just. gggHHGGH. i avoid off leash parks as much as i can already but. fuck. idek the point of this im just.#still a bit riled over having to physically throw myself in the middle of a dog fight while the other owner did absolutely nothing.#like just hovered! while his dog was pinning mine and teeth flying attacking and was actively fighting me trying to keep him off#when i can afford it im gonna find some sort of dog group walk/hike thing instead i do not want to socialize my boy like this#i am tired and very very upset because my boy looked so scared and i swear to god if you arent grabbing your dog i will fight it myself#fuck dude. fuck dog parks and fuck me for knowing better and still using em anyways.
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Eeheheheee >:)))
#I just finished making the egg custard for some nai huang bao (奶黄包) and I’m v excited >:))#I’m gonna make them pride themed so we’ll see how kneading food coloring into the dough tomorrow will go#I haven’t quite decided my method of attack but I will have help!!!#took me 45 minutes of stirring to get it to what I hope is the right consistency#we’ll see how well it holds up tomorrow after chilling#anywaaayysss I love making bao even if it’s usually a full day activity for me#and I’m hoping these will turn out beautiful and I’ll have fun pics to share tomorrow👀#I’m just very excited for them sooooo egg custard pics today lmao#by yours truly the omelette of cheese#also in case anyone is curious it did smell amazing#also I’m using a different recipe then I did the last two times so we’ll see how it compares#I’m also making them dairy free because last time I didn’t and one of my allergic to milk friends was very sad
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Last night I may or may not have passed out early, as my energy levels were on the floor. Probably they will continue to be until Christmas break by the end of next week, and it's also fair to announce that I have three exams before that happens. Until then, my activity will be highly reliant on how active I still feel. If you want to reach out to me, DMs is a good option, although not as good as Discord considering that Tumblr does what it wants with the notifications sometimes, so that's where I'll be active the most. As one last thing to note, I won't reblog more memes for the time being as I think I reblogged quite a few and I don't see recent memes that interesting to me to not turn into my meme tag and reblog from there (perks from having an old blog lol). So if you want to send anything, no matter how recent or "outdated" they are, feel free to check this tag here!
#as D.iscord was one of the topics of this post#I don't post it as I prefer to be more private#but if we've been writing together or interacting consistently#feel free to ask me via DMs and we can exchange them!#on another note I realized that going to sleep earlier#does help not feel like a zombie in classes#which is great#so that's another reason for my brief activity#anyway! today's plans are to tackle the threads I have#which are 3#and see if I can write 2 starters#otherwise I'll try tomorrow#hope you peeps have been doing well ♥︎
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i am going to try and be an actual living human person today so. drawing time
#have to work on how i draw some guys so they look Consistent and more like how i see them in my brai#brain** so. fun activity for today o hope i done facking die again
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