#today is a day for rambling it seems

[zhongrin]

I FINALLY MOVED OUT TO A NEW PLACE!!!

i'm absolutely exhausted and i still need to unpack so many things and i still need to buy a proper desk and restock my groceries & supplies and a do a whole lot of other things BUT i'm hoping to get settled in soon so i can get back to the creative endeavors™️✨

love yall, stay safe, take care, and good vibes 🫶🏻

[lesbiansanemi]

Arcane is so fascinating cuz it somehow got the two lesbian characters to be the characters I cared about the least like man I'm sorry I do not gaf about caitlyn or vi and caitlyn esp is just not sympathetic to me at all despite how the series tried to portray her like girl I do not care that your mom died and you're sad about it you still decided the solution to that was to enact martial law on already marginalized/oppressed ppl (blah blah blah she was ~manipulated~ idc idc idccccc)

Also like, the characters I really cared the most about were Sevika, Mel, and Ekko. But Sevika got completely snubbed in the third arc of the season, she didn't even have any spoken lines, and the series acting like because she ended up on the council that... fixes things? Between Piltover and Zaun? Or like that's any kind of pleasing ending for her? And while it's true Ekko and Mel practically carried that final battle and Ekko in particular is quite literally the only reason they won, I feel like they got SO much less screen time than all the other (ahem, white) characters. And it's the same thing, we barely see Ekko or Mel after the battle is over other than small clips that imply what they're up to, we don't actually get their feelings or thoughts on anything. But we got our five billionth caitvi scene that I didn't care about

And like I said, Sevika, Mel, and Ekko were my favorites, but I did also really like Jinx and... ugh I won't really get into her but again I feel like the series pushed so hard on Cait and Vi that so much of her arc and development/feelings happened off screen, esp in the third arc

Idk, I know this is mostly just me complaining about how much screen time Cait and Vi got but I'm sorry they just had the least interesting stories compared to everyone else imo also yeah idk there's something irksome about there being so much focus on the canonically privileged white girl, who while admittedly went through a lot, she still never truly unpacked or was forced to confront the prejudice and privilege she had, while a lot of the other characters felt snubbed in various ways, most of which were characters of color

Aside from all of that, the whole season just felt very rushed and like there was entirely too much stuff going on at once to be truly processed or paced in a satisfying way

Idk. I was never super into arcane, but I did really enjoy the first season, and I just feel like the second one did not... hold up nearly as well and a lot of mistakes were made. The most I can say for it is it was absolutely beautiful visually, but so many of the plot points needed much more time to be genuinely explored and expanded on to their fullest potential, and the same could be said for most of the characters' arcs

But sure. caitvi jail cell sex scene right after jinx went to kill herself. great

[kyouka-supremacy]

---

[wavernot4love]

i do believe it is time for another vaguely infamous wavernot4love show recap ...... idkhow impending gloom rochester, 11.16.24 edition (tour spoilers after the break thingy)!!!! one of my favorite visitations i've ever experienced methinks ..... finally gettin the chance to ramble 2 dallon after years ...... and successfully getting rid of most of my bracelets ..... oh my!!!! oh boy, this one is going to be lengthy because SO MUCH fun stuff happened, man. right then (note that i went in mostly blind this time which was certainly An Experience):

also!!!! in general!!!! as i mentioned up there visitation was easily a top 3... top 2???? visitation i have ever experienced (i told dallon this exact thing.... more on that later).

i'd hoped she'd play hot to go 😍

(but unironically, transition back into visitation goes crazy) ((i feel like the absolute lack of any form of Cinematography whatsoever in this goes to show how i was feeling here)

let me tell you, the MOMENT the oh my lord lord lords started i just had this Feeling it was gonna be one of those visitations (i recall turning 2 my cousin and this sentiment being echoed). and that it was ,,,,, the ol Split sure did happen directly next to us so we got 2 chill there goin yeedy yeedy heedy heedy with dallon and his megaphone. i could recite the entire visitation yodel segment in my sleep methinks. very fun stuff. peep me lookin 4 videos from the other side of the split on instagram ,,, also gotta say dallon's "ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between" will always make me giggle and kick my feet a bit (in a /j way). it's like the mormon tabernacle choir bit (which didn't happen this time, i honestly think this was the first non fest show i've seen where they didn't do a letter. not complaining as uhhh.... absence can in fact make the heart grow fonder n i know she'll be back someday)

is now the time to share that i only know the words to hot to go due to 1. this and 2. terrible influence toronto. the titronto singalong as i've seen it be called. i am about the same level of an up to date main pop girlie (gender neutral) as your grandpa. but i am glad 2 be adopted into the singalong by true main pop girlies (dan phil and dallon)

with that being said... SIXFT went too hard last night!!!! as always. but dallon's lil speech about us all focusing on the moment now because someday we'll all be six feet deep that went right into the tune..... oh yes what an intro.

i feel like earlier on, things REALLY started picking up/the crowd and everyone got into the swing of things with gloomtown brats. i always kinda take note of when everyone seems 2 loosen up near the beginning of a set and Yup . this one was it last night. blondie rapture-esque 80s rap bit you will always be so beloved. i remember when you were just a figment of dallon's imagination he talked about potentially wanting to do someday on twitter ,,,,

we finally got satanic panic oh yes. the minute dallon started talking about growing up in the 80s oh i knew where This was going. this is makin me wish i could post more than one video in here.

also speaking of, hearing kiss & tell live made me like her SO much more oh my. dallon crushes it in the chorus, something about it is very earwormy to me gotta say.

also..... ABSINTHE CAME BACK FROM THE GRAVE!!! mad iqs as well but i think absinthe had been... absent for longer. i will always think of the time i was goin nuts during her at this radio fest in 2019 and my phone sailed straight out of my pocket and across the crowd.

i fear i will Always enjoy dallon telling us under 25s to cover our ears and eyes for Adult Themes before what love. as someone who recalls when he did something of the sort for the debra cover circa 2019 i am glad i still fit into the age bracket 2 be patronized here.

opening band was gr8 as always, my favorite bit being the.... extended .... you may just like the.... segment. the parents, and especially boyfriends, sure did get shouted (called?) out. dallon (about said boyfriends getting dragged along): ....but you still gave us money! [crowd laughter] (back to singing) and that's what gives me.... a purpose ......

choke also hit extra last night. song goes HARD, i was desensitized for a while way back when it was constantly getting play on alt radio, but man, she is Not overrated,,,, appropriately rated, i think

no extra ending brobecks song but i am Not complaining. gr8 set, and hopefully someday bike ride will come back 2 me ......

also, i should mention that i Really enjoyed brasko's set. not inherently my kinda music per se, but the energy was off the charts. the dude had character, which i respected. get there early if you're going 2 any of these shows. also, opening band w/ alexsucks dude was sweet. the way i also have the "headlining band" segment memorized from the superet days ..... much like other Live Idkhow ™️ moments like the "i died in 1917" bit of visitation (which actually caught me off guard last night when it was changed to "i died in rochester new york" ...... damn poor visitation character. /hj) or the OH WHA OH OH OH in the second verse of clusterhug.

anyways, on to the post show Events .....

so long story short all the folks i knew @ the show wanted 2 leave (hence why i drove separate,, mwahaha), so the gang split up and i headed 2 the side of the building with the bus, where there were lots of people hanging around, and pretty much curled up borderline in the fetal position against the wall where i sat for a solid 45 minutes (it was cold and in the moment i did not quite have the energy 2 wander around starting conversations to trade etc)

due to said Cold, i pretty much set a time of 12:15 for when i'd leave if nothing had happened yet.... a couple times i contemplated going since i was straight up shivering but Something made me stay and man am i so glad i did!!!!

i remember watching that clock tick qusstioning how much longer i could go, and then right about 12:15 (maybe a minute or two after), a crew member came out and told us dallon was coming out to meet us, he was just on vocal rest but could sign/take pics etc!

so naturally wavernot4love was Back in business and i jumped 2 my feet and instantly was energized enough to chat some folks up and get rid of a good chunk of my bracelets (!)

sadly i somehow didn't think 2 bring a cd or anything so i had Nothing to get signed (oh my) but man, that didn't matter. i was just so stoked to finally meet dallon after years of going 2 shows/trying to!

anyways, homie came out and when he got to me he like. waved dbdbdh our whole "conversation" was quite funny considering the ways dallon improvised to get around not being able to talk.

i was basically like "hello! i know you can't talk so i am just.... gonna ramble 2 you for a minute!"

and that i sure did. essentially i went on a quick minuteish long recap of the Lore ,,,,

i remember i started by just saying how much the shows/music have meant to me over the years, and dallon did a thank you in sign language to me (like, the motion with your palm facing your chin that kinda looks like a backwardsish wave) which he did probably a dozen times later (it was really sweet honestly) and bringing up that this was my ninth time seeing them which made one of the ppl i was trading w exclaim like, "wow!" or something along those lines (hghfhfh i got vaguely embarrassed then, the way whenever i am meeting band folks i just completely go in our lil Bubble internally and forget other folks are. Right There), and dallon like. put his hand by his heart and then put his hand out like, wanting me to shake it and i think he seemed like he wanted me to introduce myself so i quickly said ya know that i am nat or natalie whatever you want 2 call me,,,, while we were shaking idk dawg it was goofy.

anyways, i babbled about how i'd been a fan of idkhow/the brobecks' music forever, and that i first saw them like, down the street basically at a venue called anthology on the waterparks tour way back and since had seen them all over rochester, syracuse, and buffalo, and how i was so glad they/he keeps coming back and how nice it's been to not have to travel outside of the area for any of my shows!!! i just went on about how much i love the shows and how much i especially loved visitation, and he kept doing the thank you thing (he did that about as much as i called him "dude," something i tend to do in Band Folk conversation when i'm meeting someone for the first time and am vaguely nervous (god it's like my literal embodiment of the "sorry i say shawty when i'm nervous" meme).

when he could tell my story was pretty much. you know. ending he made like. a lil camera taking a picture motion with his hands with like. a question mark in there somehow fbfbfh which was really convenient actually because i always feel awkward asking. anyways, i was like hell yeah let's go and then i did my goofy thing i always do for pictures where i remember i don't like how my glasses glare or whatever for pics so i panic and am like "actually wait!" while i randomly chuck them someplace out of the picture for the moment. i may have mildly scared dallon here i'll be honest. but also kinda amused him who knows, we all have our quirks

anyways, we took a few pics and i basically said great show man thanks and see you at the next show! and he i think waved or something along those lines and we went our separate ways!!

i did make a lil post right after this happened last night here but here's the pic again!!! hooray!!!!

i do think it is safe to say i finally broke the wavernot4love x water street music hall curse (the other three shows i'd been to there, not idkhow, were not really the greatest experiences). it is lookin good 4 the future!!!!

anyways, GREAT great show as always and man i'm so glad me and dallon could finally meet!!!!

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[quatregats]

This scanned really really badly but I had to draw Ander forcing Mats to reenact this video with him because I think he would think it was the funniest thing ever

[flecks-of-stardust]

[image description: two images of a Northern Mockingbird perched on some branches. It is a soft grey-brown, with darker feathered wings that have a white band in the middle. Its eyes are a brilliant gold. In the first image, it is looking off to the right, one eye staring at the camera, and is somewhat hunkered down. Its body is framed by a curving twig. In the second image, it is perched higher up, rump facing the camera as it looks to the sky. There is a big fluffy white cloud in the background. end image description]

birdy :D

[baycitystygian]

I know I generally embrace being autistic but today the hardest parts of it were really in the foreground for the entire fucking exhausting day… having auditory issues on a VERY important phone call that I needed to make and fighting for my life to understand what the poor sweet insurance lady was saying because the audio was so distorted… having a way-too-long discussion with my sister where I (1) promised to “castrate [her baby daddy] like a hog” for ghosting her and genuinely meant it (thinking about stuffing his nards as a wall trophy tbh, if he doesn’t wanna be a dad so badly then surely it’s no loss to him!) and (2) argued with her about laws that are stupid and shouldn’t apply to her situation (that’s a long story)… which probably did not make her feel any bit better and honestly I think both of us are much more stressed out afterwards. like some situations get me so outrageously mad that I literally cannot handle it and I need to remove myself from the conversation because the other person isn’t budging because it’s something they have zero influence over and they are just trying to explain the damn thing but it’s Wrong in my eyes so I feel the need to argue my case and how the fuck does anyone put up with me

like I know I don’t go into much detail about personal issues on here (or much of anything re: IRL me) but uh. that’s a huge thing I struggle with and I have no clue how to change it. It’s like, does no one else have common sense? Why can’t anyone else see this? and it feels like screaming into the void and it makes me feel terrible and it only stresses out the other person who is Not Getting Paid Enough (well, at ALL) to deal with Whatever This Is

[softmeetscreatureplz]

Wow. Today was actually fucking awesome hell yeah

[pulim-v]

If I can't enter Algorithms class today I'm going to blow up

[carbonatedjem]

Finding out on the latest Junkan Post that writing being an absolute fucking nightmare on the brain from people with more long term experience compared to me is very validating lemme tell ya.

[whataboutyouisamascot]

...Should I treat myself to some boba for the game tonight

[bhaalsdeepbat]

love that my "get to work and be able to function" medicine is on a national shortage and i have to...*check's notes*...get to work and not be able to function until they actually genuinely solve this fucking issue.

[hl-obsessed]

.

[kinsbluestars]

Ahjjjhhh

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <333