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#diana's music diary#good afternoon#I am neutral#today has been neutral#I went to my psychiatrist appointment and I can finally stop the medication they prescribed me#going back to my old ones again which I'm fine with#the fucked up part is I'll be stopping these ones cold turkey which is bad cause apparently it causes withdrawl symptoms?#and uh... they're still insistent on not helping me otherwise until I get seen for another thing which is um... frustrating...#I keep telling them I feel worse and worse and They Do Not Care and insist it's this unrelated thing??? blehhh#either way I'm just glad to be off of that stuff it was the worst#I'm home now... just chilling today... I can finally start some projects I think so I'll try looking into starting those today...#maybe...#Youtube
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Your Roommate Sukuna
“That Time He Scared The Life Out Of Me”
Modern no curse AU, Sukuna X Reader
Synopsis: This housing crisis sure is no joke huh? Rent is just too expensive to live alone, so you put out a listing for a roommate and ended up living with none other than the tattooed bad boy Ryomen Sukuna! This is part of a series of drabbles and oneshots showing glimpses into you and Sukuna’s living situation!!
Contains: metal-vocalist!Sukuna, fluff, you’re both basically frenemies
Word Count: 1.4k
Series Masterlist - My Full Masterlist
You and Sukuna don’t tend to be home at the same time, you’d think you would see him all the time considering, you know, you live together and all, but you honestly don’t really know all that much about him. You know he rides a motorcycle, ‘cause every time he pulls up to the apartment late at night it’s blaring loud engine wakes you up, and you know he listens to metal music because it’s blasting through his speaker in the bathroom right now as he’s taking a shower next to your room; maybe he’s going deaf, that’s probably a safe assumption considering everything around him is so loud.
Hell, everything about him is loud. Not only literally, like how he can never walk to your room to come get you and instead opts to yell across the apartment, but it’s as if every aspect of him doesn’t know subtlety. He’s always wearing over the top clothes, spiked leather jackets, torn to shreds t-shirts, jeans with patches sewn into every available spot, his pink hair and his face tattoos drawing everyone’s attention, everything is so maximalist. And his personality, you swear he’s never backed down from anything. Anything he does, he does it with passion, he does it big, and he does it bold.
Basically, you don’t know peace when he’s home, and you especially don’t know peace this morning, being rudely awoken by his blaring music in the bathroom between both of your bedrooms. Technically it’s not his fault that this overpriced apartment only has one bathroom, but for Christ’s sake it’s six in the morning, what is he even doing awake right now?
You grab your pillow from under your head and smother your face underneath it, attempting anything to be able to sleep in on your day off.
He drives me fucking insane.
The pillow definitely helps muffle the sound, but it’s not enough; and it definitely isn’t enough to cover the sudden low growling coming from the bathroom. You slowly uncover your face, brows furrowed as you’re trying to figure out what that noise is before it suddenly jumps in volume, like some kind of scream, making you nearly jump out of your bed. What the fuck is that? Did a pipe burst? Did the ceiling collapse?
It sounds like some kind of lion- or maybe a demon, horrific screaming growls coming from the next room. You slowly raise yourself off of your bed, timidly stepping out of your room and taking a few steps to stand outside of the bathroom door. It’s definitely coming from in there, but Sukuna doesn’t seem to have any reaction to it. Surely there’s no way he doesn’t hear that, right?
Oh my god, he really is going deaf isn’t he?
“Sukuna?!” You yell from the other side of the door, the low growling sound abruptly stops.
“What?” He yells back, he sounds annoyed. Annoyed? You’re trying to save him from a lion that just fell through the ceiling, or… something, and he’s seriously annoyed?
“What the fuck is that noise?” You can hear the shower stop running and his music shut off, after a moment of waiting the door swings open. Sukuna stands before you, a towel wrapped loosely around his waist and his pink bangs hanging over his eyes, dripping water down his cheeks.
“What? You don’t like it?” He grins at you before turning to face the mirror, swiping his palm over the fogged up glass to create a clearing to see his reflection in.
“It sounded like something was dying, please tell me that wasn’t you.” You step into the steamy bathroom, leaning your back against the wall and watching his grin grow wider through his reflection in the blurry mirror.
Sukuna grabs a clean towel from the floor, rubbing it over his hair and down his face, his voice muffled through the fabric, “I was practicing.”
He drops the towel from his face and drapes it around the back of his neck, glancing back at you in the mirror as he combs his hair out of his face with his fingers, he bites his lip to try and hide the snarky grin spreading across his face when he sees the confused look you give him, “Practicing for what? Are you auditioning to play a monster in a play or something?”
“Oh please,” He rolls his eyes and turns to face you, you’re not fast enough to catch your gaze before it drifts down to the droplets of water running down his tattooed abs and he simply snaps his fingers in front of your face to grab your attention back, seemingly unfazed by you accidentally checking him out, “I’m in a band, believe it or not I do the vocals.”
A faint blush started to paint your cheeks, but it’s quickly overshadowed by the way your jaw drops in mock horror, “Oh my god, that was you singing?”
“Oh fuck off,” He huffs out a short laugh, “I’m in a metal band, I actually scream.” He grabs the towel from around his neck, tossing it over your head and pushing past you to walk to his room.
“Hey! Asshole,” You tear the towel down from your face, letting it plop onto the tile at your feet, “You can’t just scream first thing in the morning! You scared the fuck out of me!”
He turns around to face you, wrapping a large hand around the top of the doorframe and leaning his side against it, “Consider us even then, you got me real good when you woke me up to you screaming Bloody Mary over a little fuckin’ spider.”
“That was different, I was scared! That’s a normal reason to scream!”
“Yeah?” He leans down to be eye level with you, speaking in a mocking tone, “Well I saw how much you shed all over the shower and was horrified.”
“You’re such a dick,” You turn to pull the shower curtain back, “There’s not even- oh, well, there’s like two strands, god forbid.”
He grins as he stands back at his full height, taking a few steps back into the hall and opening up the door to his room, you quickly follow behind him, looking up towards him, “Why didn’t you ever tell me you’re in a band?”
He shrugs nonchalantly, keeping the door open as he walks into his dimly lit room, “You never asked.”
You stand in his doorway, peering around his room. The walls are covered in posters and some most likely stolen street signs, but aside from the eclectic decor it’s surprisingly neat, “Is your music any good?”
He opens his closet door and then turns his head to face you, speaking to you in a monotone voice, “Can I put some clothes on or do you wanna talk to me with my cock out?”
A blush creeps onto your cheeks as you toss your hands up into the air defensively, turning around to give him some privacy, “My bad.”
You can hear Sukuna chuckle behind you and the quiet sounds of fabric moving around his skin, “Is it good? Well, you’d probably think it sounds like… what did you say? A dying animal?”
You grin and bite the inside of your cheek, “A dying animal or maybe the horrific screams of the unknown, either one.”
He lets out a satisfied hum, “Horrific screams of the unknown is a good album name, I’ll have to write that down.”
“I’ll be expecting royalties.”
“Don’t expect shit,” You suddenly feel a wet towel smack against your back, making you jump and yell out in surprise, “Brat.”
“Ew!” You turn around to find him standing right behind you, smug grin plastered on his face and both of his hands shoved into the pockets of the black sweatpants he threw on, opting out of putting on a shirt and instead leaving his tattooed torso on full display.
“Hm? Thought you’d want that,” He snaps his fingers in front of your face again, “Freak.”
Oh, oh he knows what he’s doing. You didn’t even realize how you were looking at him before he caught you, but it’s not like it’s your fault that he looks like that.
You let out a groan and turn around to walk down the hall to your room, “I’m going back to bed.”
He really drives me insane more than I thought he would.
Little do you know, he’s thinking a similar thought about you.
A/N: THIS is the one I intended to be the first part before I got too excited and wrote the one where y’all quarantine together instead, but shhhh we can just pretend this one takes place before that!! Dividers by @adornedwithlight
Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!
#aaaaAAAAAA sorry it’s been like two weeks asksnans#ya girl (gender neutral) has been BUSY with irl stuff#but i had today off and was determined to write!!#my wriitng#nav ryomen sukuna#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#ryomen Sukuna#Sukuna#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#my writing#roommate Sukuna au
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Imagine you're Mr. Wu and your weird gay daughter runs away in tears after destroying some unespecified object while yelling about you ruining her life. Because you told her you'd be moving to another state. This is the last time you see your daughter in half a year, and when she comes back, she comes back... wrong. She's wearing a light leather armor, a fur-lined cape, and a green flower crown. She has two long scars, one alongside her spine and the other along her chest, the tissue around them covered in burn scars. Doctors say she shouldn't have survived. Doctors say she didn't. Yet she's right here, in front of you, hospital gown clinging to her small, fragile, trembling frame. She fidgets with her hands. Getting her to stay still has always been difficult, but now it seems impossible. She won't let go of her phone. She's always texting her two friends. When you take it away, she gets anxious. You always knew those damn phones cause kids to act weird, but your kid having a panic attack seems too extreme, even for her. Then again, she's always been odd. Nowadays, she wakes up crying and screaming almost every night, and you realize she's been stealing her phone from your bedside drawer every night to text her friends, returning it before you wake up. You catch her once and decide to give her that damn phone back. It's the only thing that calms her down, as if she were a baby with a pacifier. She spends her last weeks in LA clinging to her friends, having sleepovers and playing her weird board games with them. Everytime they drop her back at her house, there's an excessive amount of hugs and tears. But the moments when they call her, or when she leaves to meet with them, or when they show up at their door to pick her up... those are the only moments in which you see her happy. One of her friends, the rude and disobedient one, came back with a big scar on her face. She's been acting a lot nicer, though. The other one too. She acts a great deal more adult now. You doesn't know what happened or where your daughter went. She won't tell you. But you can tell this friendship is the only thing keeping her afloat right now. Maybe you know, deep down, that no one else would understand.
And then you decide to move anyway because fuck her amirite
#amphibia#marcy wu#my posts#so like what if marcy moving away was a proper tragedy#what if things were WORSE for her#what if *smashes marcy with a ROCK*#i realized that.#despite my parents being shitty (just found out literaly today my mom had doctors give me the wrong treatment because she assumed my body#would react the same way as hers. instead of doing what literally every doctor told her to do. now i need to get it fixed)#they still asked me how I felt about moving away to a different province when in like. 8.#like. oh right. this is something parents generally ask their kids about. instead of uprooting their entire lives out of nowhere.#marcy's situation is complicated in a narrative sense because#in order for her arc to work her departure must be dictated by morally neutral forces outside of her control#but her parents' decision seems very shitty with the context we're given. you COULD give context that justified their actions#i.e have them explain that they really do need this if they want marcy to go to college or some shit like that#but then it stops being Marcy vs. Forces of Nature#and it becomes Marcy vs. Her Dad (and she has to accept he's right in this one)#the show is clearly for a Marcy vs. Forces of Nature conflict (in this case it's the inevitability of change)#and in order to keep the antagonistic force abstract you CAN'T have her dad be a proper character#BUT. as a consequence -> Marcy has to give into the ''#the ''natural order'' which would be accepting her parents' power over her as natural and inevitable#it's not even like... accepting her parents are right or anything. just that their o#that their complete control of the situation and marcy's total powerlessness is natural and inevitable#and that's tragic! from a more watsonian ñerspective#perspective* : Marcy is sent back to her shitty parents and she just needs to learn how to deal with it away from her support system#the solution imo would have been to change the motivation behind her family moving away so that it's outside her parents' control too#it really has to be completely inevitable. i can't think of an alternative reason but it's just what it#it's what would fix this problem imo#it's a simple fix really
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Oh my gosh whyyyy am I so obsessed with numbers I don't like it at all this is driving me INSANEEEE😭😭IT'S GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS THE DAYS GO BY AAAA
#IT'S SO WEIRD I HATE IT I HATE IT SO FCKING MUCH#I've had this weird relationship with numbers for years but it's gotten so much worse#I'm so obsessed with even numbers and odd numbers likeeee#I have even days and odd days?? that's what I call them anyways#where on even days everything has to involve even numbers and on odd days everything has to involve odd numbers#like those are my safe numbers for those days#and if I use the wrong number on the wrong day something bad will happen so I have to.I guess?? neutralize it?? somehow..#usually I figure out how in the moment but other times I just panic#likee for example today's an (I'm assuming) even day right now. so I have to have my tv volume on an even number#I have to eat an even number of food today#I CANNOT rb something on tumblr if I'm not on an even numbered reblog or I'm not an even numbered note... that makes no sense lemme explain#so I always have to like posts I reblog it's a rule I have for some reason. so in order for me to reblog a post#I have to land on an even number when I rb it#so for example if a post has 172 notes I'll like it which'll give it 173 notes then I'll rb which'll give it 174 notes#but if the post already has 173 notes before I liked it then I'll just like and not rb bcz if I rb it'll be 175 notes#which lands on an odd number and ahasbdhfbdsfaedw#it's the same for odd days just vice versa (it'd have to be on 177 though bcz 5 is an unsafe number for me rn)#YEAH 100% unsafe numbers for me are 3 5 6 and 9 and any number involving those numbers (so 26 and 13 are still unsafe)#basically no matter if it's an even day or an odd day I cannot land on anything with those numbers#and if I don't follow these rules my brain made up then something awful will happen or my day will go bad#or something I wanna do won't go well#thess numbers apply to EVERYTHING. and and it's SO ANNOYINGGGG. I've been trying to ignore it but it's getting harder and harder HELPPSADNF#I tried to tell my mom abt it but she just says “oh your grandma's also like that. you probably got it from her”#THANKS GRANDMA FOR THE NUMBER OBSESSION :'D#vent
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#feeling controversial today i guess#but like#i am at the point where i actively do not get the hype around tommy#like he’s just some guy#most of what people seem to like AND hate about him seems to be just based on headcanons not anything he's actually done in canon#he's had exactly zero development outside of moving buck's character forward since showing up again#like sure maybe there's potential but it hasn't actually been used at this point he's just kind of there#i do not understand having particularly strong opinions on him in eithet direction#like fanon opinions sure he's fun in fic#but like. the way people seem to be mapping their fanon versions of him onto canon to fit either a blind adoration or a blind hatred for hi#is super weird to me#like he’s just som guy y'all why is half the fandom falling out over this dude while the other half has gone underground??#he's just not that interesting#i will never understand how hard this fandom goes for side characters#who have had next to no development of their own#i didn't get it with lucy#i don't get it with tommy#like to each their own#but damn the power y'all give these random characters who frankly just aren't that interesting in their current states is#a lot#like enjoy have fun no judgment there#but can we maybe stop actively attacking each other over this guy he's just some dude come on y'all#*either *him *some#i really need to proofread my tags#*also i think i mean more controversy rather than hype in that third tag. it's not really that i don't understand why people like him#but more that i don't understand how he inspires such extreme opinions#anti tommy kinard#just in case#this isn't meant to be anti really i'm just like. very neutral about him#911 discourse
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breaking news: future games 1971 may actually be fleetwood mac's most interesting album? more at eleven
#i am neutral positive on fleetwood mac broadly speaking but generally don't go out of my way to listen to them (i think everyone has been#overexposed to rumours and while it didn't fully turn me off from them i don't often choose them to listen to); i tend to like the#pre 1974 pre buckingham and nicks stuff more (which is funny because i really think they're both genius musicians but that's a sidebar) but#somehow future games came up on my spotify today and i relistened to some of it and was surprised at how much i really liked it
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(click for better resolution, etc.)
#adamandi#ambrose wellington bassford#infer as you will i suppose. wanted to draw a statue ambrose but accidentally painted it because smth smth blending fits him#again. main things taken from lyrics of the actual show ++ this definition i checked with google because i didn't remember it off the top#of my head. but Thoughts indeed#sfgdhhdf ok hello i am back today has been a Day (not very good) (oh well) (small mercies) ...#did not expect the melliot to find this so quickly but since i guess the Official Tumblr has reblogged it i'll just edit this one.#as opposed to reuploading. o//o#i painted it at 2am on impulse and have very little recollection of the whole event -? and then in a fit of pique added words and posted it#it is Very different from the original draft. i'd like to maybe do that one justice someday... anyways something something sometimes#a piece of art you make organically Evolves of its own volition... anyways.#maybe i'm projecting but recently (tuesday?) i found out something Important i had in the works Collapsed in the kiln#kaboom. ah the perils of ceramics. anyway thanks to the messed up 3d of everything i'm working on rn (the pros and cons of visual art subj#is that you get to make art for a grade) and. ceramics and sculpture and classics etcetera. <blinks> wow i really latched on to art aspects.#but nevertheless! ambrose brainrot real. iirc my thoughts were smth like. most strongly. that contrapposto? based on my school art history#was that it evolved from the very neutral rigid ancient greek sculptures of people which were all about Mathematical Symmetry. because#the main thing about contrapposto was that it reflected irl people more... more life-like? so it's very ironic to me#that Alive ambrose went and tried to turn himself into a statue. with part of the draw being contrapposto.. like?????#ah yes you like this sculpture because it's lifelike. and you'd rather be a sculpture than alive huh. the contrasts are !! in my head#also maybe i just.. wanted to paint... idk i had ambrose on the brain yesterday and it was something about sculptural messed up perfection#fun fact!!! the skin and hair i all greyed out to look like marble. fun fact number two: he has no eyes in this. like no pupils :3#fun fact number 3 (irrelevant) marble statues are only common wrt ancient greece bc the romans iirc came along and repurposed the bronzes.#because apparently bronze was a Hot Commodity at the time. and in return to preserve the art they made marble replicas. so most marble#ancient greek statues are apparently copies and the originals had totally different aesthetics#fun fact number 4: the background is a very greyed out image of my broken ceramics.. i wanted something nice to come out of it at least#fun fact number 5: i wanted to make him crack. like shattered ceramic or smth. that was the original idea. but instead it went to the pretty#sculpture route... kinda wanna make the messed up one though!!#fun fact number 6! because of Art Studio i'm covered in white paint and like it doesn't come off so it's been on my fingers and arms and#basically everywhere. so flesh turning into white stuff aes is fascinating i wanna explore... fun fact no.7.. i have accidentally maybe#began using screenshots as drawing practice. idk what to do with this info. if anything nice turns up ig i'll post it maybe
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Have you noticed the rise of young adult aimed media lately? The other day I was discussing the topic with a very dear friend of mine who surprised me by saying that she doesn't mind that at all and will gladly watch shows aimed at a younger audience.
I've been thinking about that a lot - I remember shows and movies like The Devil wears Prada, SaTC, Shoppaholic etc that featured main characters in their 20s-30s but were enjoyed by teenagers as well. These days I feel like we get the opposite, with Euphoria, Stranger Things etc - shows with a main focus on (supposed) teenagers that are aimed at older audiences as well. Very interesting!
...and annoying to me personally since I don't really find (americanised) teen life very interesting or relatable. I might rewatch a show I enjoyed while I was a teenager and I have watched shows aimed at a younger audience because I knew they would mention a topic I care about a lot that isn't discussed in adult media most of the time - but it took a while before I convinced myself I wanted to watch that show badly enough to put up with first kisses and pop quizzes and spring dances. My friend, again, has a completely different view on that and mentioned that she will gladly watch The Summer I Turned Pretty for fun and relaxation - which genuinely shocked me (because I can’t relate, not because I’m judging her — or you, if you like those shows).
So now I have to ask
#this has been on my MIND#I tried to discuss it with uni friends and got nowhere#.........am I the weird one here?#and I do think it might be because I didn't watch much teen stuff back in the day either#because I was too busy figuring myself out and hiding (as one did)#so neither the hetty shows of the 10s nor the heartstopper-esque shows of today resonate with me#.......anyhow#also my friend tried to argue that the summer I turned pretty wasn't aimed solely at teens and it was about nostalgia#so I watched the trailer and. uh?! UH?!?!??!?!?!?!?!H#bizarre moment for me truly#also she was like 'it doesn't even mention prom and stuff' implying it was neutral in that regard#and it smack dab is about some summer dance thing. when I tell you I felt like I was an idiot#like. am I not getting the joke?!#based on what she said I genuinely thought it would be about a woman looking back at the old days or something#but no it's a teen girl doing teen girl things
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you know i had to. and i spent way too much time on this. now you must suffer with me :]
#I HAD THIS PLANNED FOR SO LONG. THE SECOND I NOTICED 'wait the penguin band has four members-'#THIS WAS KIND A CHORE TO FINISH TODAY HAS BEEN WACKY MY ATTENTION SPAN IS NONEXISTANT#i love having kinda severe unmedicated adhd#i spent hours going back n forth between finishing this and scrolling thru stuff/chatting with friends/finding videos to watch as bg noise#so today has been an interesting day hsjsjsh spent like 4ish hours just doing the last line stuff and coloring it in which would normally#take me like an hour but then agian this is multiple characters#ANYWAYS#ENOUGH RAMBLES.#BE CURSED WITH THIS IMAGE YOU FOOLS#club penguin#the penguin band#stompin bob#franky#g billy#petey k#guz art#for your information NO i do not like weezer#im weezer neutral but i like playfully bullying friends who like it. its the same as being british. i then get bullied back#for supposedly being jerma
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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my job is reactivating and rehabilitating patients in post surgery care and one of the first things i tell them once they've tried to drink some juice and stand on their legs without throwing up is "every bite is a good bite" and i think that's a good sentiment for everyone
#i tell them “if you have to eat 5 panacottas and nothing else today then that's a win” and then i give them panacottas#actually it's not a win bc they need way more than that#5 panacottas and a few supplementary nutritional drinks and then we're all set#caramel flavoured chocolate pudding is also a good option#an option anyone outside a hospital would discourage to be the only thing you eat in a day. but we will nag and bug you until you eat 2#ive seen a lot of people here on tumblr talk about the need for a neutral food view#that morals don't exist in food#and it's true#to become healthy after your body has kind of been under the greatest toll ever (stomach open wide) there is no such thing as bad food#pickapost#tho of course you will develop some health issues if you don't have a proper diet#like scurvy or kidney stones#that's no good#or blood fats that will lead to health issues later in life#but compared to malnutrition those are irrelevant#nutrition comes first otherwise you cannot live#and when it comes to nutrition every bite is a good bite
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acotar modern au but feysand and nessian relationship got ruined ever since rhysand and cassian started to binge watching skibidi toilet and scrolling through yt shorts
#acotar#neutral feyre#anti rhysand#nesta archeron#anti cassian#nothing too anti today#nyx was watching a skibidi toilet video on his greasy ipad while eating breakfast#and rhys just happen to see him watching it#“son what are u watching?”#and ever since then he's been like so mesmerized over skibidi toilet#this shithead decides to introduce to his incels fratboys#cassian who is obviously a dumb bitch is also stupidly invensted in skibidi toilet bcs hes stupid#azriel doesnt care bcs he has a chronic p*rn addiction so the only type of content he consumes is p*rn and absoulety nothing else#the archeron sisters are absoulety MORTIFIED#because obviously in the modern au the sisters would be gen z and everyone else would prolly be millennials or gen x(not emerie or gwyn)#so obvi they know what skibidi toilet just scrolling a bit on tiktok#feyre didnt care that nyx was watching toilet humor bcs hes a kid but the fact her shitty husband is into this makes her tremble in fear#“rhysand what are r u watchin- is that SKIBIDI TOILET ON UR SCREEN???”#nesta is probably used to cassian pure idiocy that she doesnt even seem suprised that cass is watching skibidi toilet just disgusted#she's more terrified at the fact cass is going to have shorter attention span and would probably pay less attention to her than he is now#like she could be laying at bed trying to sleep but cASSian watching skibidi toilet on FULL volume bcs hes just that ignorant#“cassian can u like lower the volume im trying to sleep”#“oh ok”#then few mins later hes playing it on full volume again bcs ïts to low that he cant hear"#nesta ask him the same thing a few times until she just gave up#oops i was planning this post to be neutral to the batboys but unfortunely the tags are very anti :P#meaning i have to put neutral feyre instead so i wont get harassed 😓
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Chat I am going to bed. How long will it take me to actually sleep? We shall see...
#first half of today was AWFUL#but we clutched it in the second half and the day has in total been pretty neutral#however that doesn't change. the exhaustion and slight vertigo#anyways#to bed with me#on to better days
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#had a fun brunch today. made myself a good dinner. talked to my mom. vanquished my anxiety with a pill#tried two new cafes too!#gonna play video games with my friend next 😈#I need to start working on my MG novel again soon. I think I can get back into it soon. I want to maybe try Monday…we’ll see#miscellaneous#the old partner broached hanging out as friends in two weeks too so that was nice to hear#my goal is to make some more connections in Boston and I’m happy I didn’t lose his#anyway. a bunch of dishes are glaring at me#time to clean…#today has been good even if my mood has been neutral and I just need to keep reminding myself of the nice things to come
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for that one oc ask - GHOST and DESIRE for uhhhhhhh Melliwyk! I know very little about your OCs yet so i'm tempted to just keep throwing asks at you but I don't wanna overwhelm lol
hi hello first of all please do feel free to send more... if the spirit moves you...... 👀
ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?
When asked about the scars up her arm, Melliwyk usually explains it very briefly as the result of a lab accident when she was still a student, laughing off almost dying and how the discharge launched her across the room, but it also launched her academic and research career. What she does not generally explain is that the other thing that happened was her then-roommate happened to walk back in unexpectedly at the exact wrong moment, got caught in the face with magically charged electrified shrapnel, and was permanently blinded... the incident may have accelerated Mel's arcane studies, but it ended Amberly's.
It set the tone for the rest of her career. Even having exploded, her experiment was highly impressive and promising, especially from someone so young and still early in her arcane studies, so it opened up a lot of opportunities for her-- and on the other hand she got a reputation for keeping an eye on the bigger picture and not letting personal risk or others' feelings get in the way of meaningful progress, a reputation she leaned into an benefited heavily from despite the fact that Amberly getting caught in the accident in their dorm wasn't even really her fault. There were lots of other times in the years following where she was more than a little flippant with risk management or others' wellbeing in the pursuit of her work. It got her a lot of professional respect, and mostly her reputation ensured others kept themselves out of risk around her; she got really used to not thinking about anybody else whenever she did anything, for better and for worse.
This was decades ago, now; for most of that time, she's consciously thought about it very little-- and definitely less and less over the years (although it subconsciously has affected her decisions sometimes, like moving out into the middle of nowhere alone to get into weirder and possibly more volatile experimentation). She's been thinking about it a lot lately, though. Adventuring is the first time in a long time she's had to live and collaborate with others, and relies on mutual trust for her own survival. Doing Hero Shit in the real world, with real people enduring real suffering, has also put her back in touch with her humanity after spending so much time in magical academia and then total isolation. She's had to think, a lot, about how many people have been hurt or killed by things like not barring the door while working on something dangerous, or thoughtlessly drawing aggro to an already injured NPC, or failing to safeguard her loved ones after knowing that her becoming an enemy of the state would put a target on their backs as well. She liked Amberly. She hadn't meant to hurt her, and hadn't even meant to be careless about her safety; it worries her how hard it seems to be for her to protect others from her own actions, even when she wants to-- how dangerous she is to the people she cares about. She's not entirely sure what she can do about it other than isolate herself again, and that isn't really an option anymore.
desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?
Oh man this is a really interesting question for her right now! For her entire adult life, her greatest desire was to either reinvent or rediscover artificing, which was a millennia-lost art in her world; she kind of figured, you know, either she'd do that under less fraught circumstances, or it would be a lifelong pursuit that she could work to further but would never personally live to see the end of, so, honestly she's feeling more than a little unmoored right now in terms of, you know... personal goals..... entire life's purpose...... that kind of thing. Fortunately she's still got the broader overarching desire for discovery in general to keep her going, and slightly-more-dubiously-fortunately the Ongoing Adventure demands all of her attention right now (more, I would almost argue, than she has to give...), but Being An Artificer when that was a theoretical/ experimental field has been so central to her identity for so long that I think if you asked her right now what she desires most she'd get really stressed and existential about it, lmao. She hasn't had a chance to figure it out yet! I mean, of course, there's always going to be an answer, and right now it's probably 'to destroy the sorcerer king [our bbeg]' for various plot and personal reasons-- but even that, you know, I think she'd be uncomfortable and dissatisfied with the thing she wants the most being 'to beat the bad guy' instead of something more personal and/or interesting.
ask about my OCs!!
#THANK YOU GOOD QUESTIONS!!#mel remembering that she really does care about other people has been good for her as a person but it hasn't FELT good lmao#melliwyk: [alignment shift from ch. neutral to ch. good]#melliwyk's brain: hey remember how many lives you've ruined getting where you are today. and you weren't even trying to. lol#our druid's entire home island getting firebombed traces back to melliwyk meeting him and taking him with her on her journeys#she's too sensible to Blame Herself for the actions of evil people following a chain of events she never could have predicted--#but she is. Aware. of the fact that if zhartook hadn't met her his home wouldn't have been destroyed and his people nearly wiped out#she's DEEPLY aware of xander getting hit by the retaliatory AOE spell meant for melliwyk and then dying at her feet#because she was more than capable of getting him hurt but completely unequipped to help him. of course#high level arcanist NPC who knows her by reputation: [expresses surprise at her caring or having objections--#-- to a secret construction project where citizens are being enslaved and cruelly and ruthlessly worked to death by summoned devils]#melliwyk: [desperately wracking her brain for whether she was ever really THAT heartless? surely not? surely.......]#(she was NOT ;n; but now that's A Thing she's gotta think about)#... anyway sorry this is so fucking long including the tags I am physically incapable of being succinct dfgkjhffkdgf#ask thing#my OCs#melliwyk
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therapy is expensive, Ants From Up There by Black Country, New Road is free
#been havin a rough time lately so i put the album on and played guitar through basketball shoes#every time i listen to the album im left with a hollow feeling#the album i guess helps me understand my emotions more even when they're not related to the topics of the album#the album just has a very tight connection to me emotionally and i am so happy i have the album to keep me comfort#about that hollow feeling btw like. idk i think thats my brain being devastated at my life but instead of feeling outright bad its more neu#the word neutral got cut off there#im losing track of my post here#basically i love this album#thank you Isaac Wood. wherever you are today i hope you're doing okay#you helped me get through emotions i never understood#tough times i wasnt strong enough to fight on my own#thank you isaac.#black country new road#bcnr
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