#to you whom i can't say these things to in person
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Hi, Fenno-Swedish Ostrobothnian here with a masters degree in Swedish. I agree with you that it is great that KAJ has brought awareness of the fact that there are Swedish-speaking Finns in Finland, but I do have some points to make:
- from a linguistic viewpoint, Ostrobothnian is not a separate language. Fennoswedish (finlandssvenska) is not considered a separate language either. The Swedish spoken in Finland is classified as belonging to a subgroup of Swedish called östsvenska mål (east Swedish), and the standardized version of the Swedish spoken in Finland uses the same grammar as Swedish spoken in Sweden but with slight differences in pronounciation and vocabulary (finlandisms my beloved). The east Swedish branch also includes the Swedish spoken in Estonia and in Gammalsvenskby in Ukraine, although the number of Estonian Swedes were down to a couple of hundred back in 2018, and gammalsvenska was spoken by only 10 people back in 2014. East Swedish can be broken down into ten regional varieties within Finland, which in turn can be further broken down into smaller regional groups (such as northern, central and southern ostrobothnian dialects) and from there specific dialects. Dialects, as pointed out, do not have a standardized written form (just ask a bunch of people from the same village to text each other the same thing and see how many spelling variations you get for the same words). This is the fun thing about dialects, though; with one word or expression you can nail down pretty well where someone is from just by how they say that particular word or expression (I can, for example, tell if someone is from the village I grew up in by the way they say 'snowing' in the sentence "it's snowing"). On the flip side, there are those for whom standard Swedish (högsvenska) is the primary language variety because they do not have a particularly strong or distinctive dialect.
- Ostrobothnians tend to have a strong bond with their dialects, and it is the primary spoken variety, used in both formal and informal situations. Iirc there was (and there might still be) an initiative in some schools to use högsvenska during lessons and restrict dialect to recess and time spent outside of school, but I personally never had that happen in the schools I went to. If I speak to someone from the Swedish-speaking areas in the south of Finland, I sometimes try to not speak my dialect as strongly just to avoid possible confusion and misunderstandings. Hashtag oj no e du dåuli.
- I can't speak for all Swedish-speaking ostrobothnians, so this is entirely anecdotal, but I have not heard anyone here who speaks Swedish as their first language deny that they are a Swedish-speaking Finn (finlandssvensk). They might identify with their dialect or region first, but if asked if they are finlandssvensk, they would not deny it. Again, this is my experience, and I am sure there are those who have a different experience as to their linguistic identity, but yeah. Just wanted to put this out there.
- KOTUS does NOT work against dialects. While part of KOTUS' mission is language planning and maintenance (as in maintaining the standardized Swedish), they also run projects relating to dialect research, maintenance and conservation, for example through publication of a dictionary about the differences between Swedish spoken in Sweden and in Finland, and compiling a collection of Swedish dialects in Finland, including spoken samples. Language care and dialect research can co-exist, one does not exclude the other.
KAJ’s sudden surge in popularity has given me the push to write this short post about one of my native tongues – Österbottniska, or Ostrobothnian Swedish.
So what is Österbottniska?
Österbottniska is an unrecognised language in Finland, spoken in the region of Pohjanmaa, Ostrobothnia. The region is often referred to as coastal Ostrobothnia to avoid confusion, locally it is known as “pampas”. Österbottniska is officially a dialect of both Swedish and Fennoswedish, however many speakers consider it its own language due to it being nearly – and at times completely – incomprehensible to Swedes and even Fenno-swedes from the south of Finland.
There are three dialect groups of Österbottniska: northern, central and southern. The musical comedy group KAJ speak Vörå dialect, which is a central dialect. Dialects sometimes vary greatly between towns and regions, with rural areas diverging further from standards Fennoswedish and Swedish as a whole.
There is no estimated number of speakers as Österbottniska has no status. The language is practically nonexistent outside of coastal Ostrobothnia.
A brief history of the language:
Österbottniska was born as a result of Swedish colonisation starting circa. 1100 - 1300. The native population was driven away from their homes and Swedish settlers were systematically moved in so that there was at least an equal number of settlers living amongst the locals. The settlers were granted legislative control over the region and Swedish became the sole language for governance and public life outside the home.
Words and language are exceptionally important for our native tradition and faith, so spellwork and runes survived the longest in this new environment. But that’s a topic for another day.
The Ostrobothnians retained aspects of their mother tongue despite Sweden’s attempt at wiping it out and replacing it with theirs. As a result, Österbottniska has retained a mix of grammar rules from both Finnish and Swedish, which – aside from pronunciation and loanwords – is one of the reasons why the language can be hard to grasp for nonspeakers. Similar to standard Fennoswedish, Österbottniska doesn’t use tonal pitch to differentiate between otherwise identical words in the way Swedish does. The meaning of identical words are instead – just like in Finnish, – found in the surrounding context and word association.
Common misconceptions:
1. All speakers of Österbottniska are Fennoswedes.
While some do identify as Fennoswedes, the rest do not. My own family has never identified as Fennoswedes, including people who don’t speak a word of Finnish.
2. Coastal Ostrobothnians are descendants of settlers. It was rare for locals to marry settlers; the vast majority of coastal Ostrobothnians don’t have Swedish ancestry. I personally don’t have any either.
3. Fennoswedes are rich.
I see this one a lot and it frustrates me. Not only because it lumps every speaker of a Swedish-adjacent language/dialect together (hence why I specify ‘Fennoswedish’ despite not being a Fennoswede myself) – but also because this misconception runs deep and is an annoyingly persistent one. The majority of us live in small towns and rural villages just like any other Ostrobothnian. The coast is far from wealthy and we don’t “control” anything.
4. Coastal Ostrobothnians are uneducated with poor language skills.
We are educated. We speak this way because it’s our native language which differs from standard Swedish. We are speaking correctly.
5. All coastal Ostrobothnians speak both Finnish and Österbottniska.
While many of us are bilingual, there are some who speak only one or the other. I’m myself a 2nd generation Finnish speaker so my grandparents only spoke Österbottniska… until my grandma watched way too much Salatut Elämät.
Challenges:
If you want to learn Österbottniska from the ground up, you’re out of luck as there isn’t a formal way to do so. The only way to learn Österbottniska is by immersing yourself among the speakers. There's no language courses.
KOTUS (institute for the languages of Finland) is actively suppressing Österbottniska by replacing local lingo and grammar rules with standard Swedish. On their website, KOTUS says it wants to “prevent Fennoswedish from straying too far from Swedish”. This can especially be seen in schools where students are sometimes not allowed to speak Österbottniska in favor of using the “preferred”, more official language. This language doesn't even exist naturally outside of classrooms as the Swedish taught to everyone in Finland is spoken neither here nor in Sweden. Locals may know it as “pakkoruotsi” and blame its existence on us despite it being a threat to our spoken language. I personally went to a school with Swedish curriculum and we weren’t allowed to speak Österbottniska in class. I’m not saying this is everyone's experience - but it is mine.
Österbottniska is in this weird place where it’s alive and well in some families but disappearing from others. As rural towns disappear, so do their unique dialects. There is no official written language, which fortunately doesn’t stop people from writing in Österbottniska, even if spelling does vary between people.
#finlandssvenska#language nerding#brought to you by my six years at uni studying the language I have spoken all my life
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Doing a JLPT N1 workbook -- not because I have any plans of taking the exam, I just got worried about forgetting all the Japanese I know -- and of course they'd do this thing where the subchapter introducing particular phrases gives rather typical, predictable examples of their use, but the general comprehension check test has examples where the phrases are used in a way that's just. Weird. >:/
#oh how I missed this part about studying something :''''''')#like if the meaning of kosoare is 'although/despite' (as in 'a nurse's job; although difficult and tiring; is worth doing') then How does i#work in a sentence like 留学生の多くが、程度の違いこそあれ言葉の問題に悩まされているとみえる? the translated sentence is 'to varying degrees'#so there's nothing that even remotely resembles 'despite'!#there's another sentence like 外食したことにしてその分を貯めたとすればかなりの額になるだろう but I can't figure out what is the exact#meaning of that ことにして is ( ˘︹˘ ) FASCINATINGLY#both people and translating softwares online are torn as to what this sentence means. the workbook says 'If you save what you spend on#eating out; it'll come to a considerable amount'. However! I'm also seeing translations that take the ことにして as 'to act as though' and#make it 'If you pretended that you ate out out and saved the money' which is like. Pretended in front of WHOM? What psychological games are#you suggesting here? Is the sentence not about saving the money but rather making yourself believe you're eating fancier than in reality?#I'm sadly lost in the nuance sauce here I'm afraid.#the korean translation is plagued by similar problems. one web translator says one thing while another says another. now the MANDARIN#translation has 当作 which apparently is 'to regard as; to treat as' which is still like. what are we talking about here.#hypothetical hypotheticals? hm. a Japanese person on hinative said it means that you basically don't eat out BUT just think hypothetically#about what the expenses would be if you had WHICH IS JUST. WHAT. W H A T#gaisyokuception.#with the way hinative people are explaining the first sentence it seems the kosoare is about that fact that like... there's a lot of#students and although they're troubled to various degrees they're still troubled by this One thing that unites them? that's too nuanced for#me lads I'm too stupid for that shit. you have to speak plainly to me
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#vagueblogging#i have the absolutely weird luck when it comes to checking internet#like you know how if someone blocked you you can't see their posts on the dash and in search results#but if you click on someone's blog and scroll manually you still can see the posts (just not like or comment them)#like if someone reblogged a post and you check manually the reblog is still seen even if op blocked you?#and like there is this person whom i have seen drawing something regarding [character] with the same oddly-#-specific detail as what i've coined in#but also i shared a [thing] and they've drawn a [thing] too one hour later or something?#i strongly doubt there are TWO people who check on me#besides they don't strike me as a type to take inspiration for drawings from someone they hate#(i say as i know absolutely nothing about them lol)#so my only guess is that we are coincidentally thinking in the exact same way#it is absurd how my haters tend to think in similar ways to me creatively????#whereas my fans share like 0 headcanons and ideas with me ahahaha#what does it say about me as a person when my haters are more similar to me than my fans?#right - nothing good#again i am not gonna flatter myself with hopes that i am inspiring people beyond my tiny pool of fans#and will just call it a chain of frustrating coincidences
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((In all seriousness the urge to just change everything back to being centered around Danny is a constant thing---it has been ever since day 1 of making this blog---and it always will be. Maybe one day.))
#;;ooc: mun muttering#I've been shown time and time again it doesn't matter what I do or who I showcase tbh; it all ends up the same#plus having Heis at front (whom I love just as much as Danny and have put as much work into; Blair can attest)#has attracted people that I don't vibe with for various reasons; I'd forgotten how bad and shallow the r/e r/pc is#and Danny ......well .... y'all know; If you know me and have been around long enough you know#I still maintain (and am proud of myself) for recognizing and taking the space I needed#the change was necessary and I don't resent that whatsoever; no matter how dead my blogs are#but oh my god; Danny; the way he fuckin changed the trajectory of my writing and etc uhhggggg#I still have the alex url; I snagged it when I moved (yeah I love all of my urls fight me)#and while I can't comm anyone for a whole new.... everything.....it is still on my mind#I just don't want to seem like I'm backpedaling you know? it's complicated to say the least#it was such a horrible and draining experience y'all have no idea; but I still look upon my work#I'm just gonna try to focus on actually writing and see what comes to mind about all of this.... I'm just nattering#like I could do it .... I could#I could keep this url potentially and just..... change things#man idk there's only one person who cares about my Heis ( and 3 at most for everything I do; Danny included) so idk what to do#maybe I'll talk to Blair; thay really helped me when setting this blog up in the first place#plus I still have my main; although that's a struggle in it's own way#ughhhh fuck I don't know#I also have another url saved but I know that'll be a fuckin dud and is just for me fffffff#.... this is becoming more negative I'm gonna stop and refocus gdgffd
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𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒
- sylus x reader
you suspect something’s off when you catch your lover with the hunter girl, so you decide to give him the cold shoulder. his way of winning you back? trapping you in a bet—if he wins this underground fight match, you’re back to being his
genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—brief smut, comfort, total fluff, assassin!reader (not l&ds mc), based on sylus' card radiant brilliance
note: this has been looong buried in my drafts since before my writer's block started :') again, a part of the assassin!reader that started with strictly (un)professional
Your lover— he is definitely hiding something.
“Mmph!” A moan escaped you mid-kiss as his palm suddenly cupped your right breast, squeezing and stroking it, while two of his left fingers thrusted inside you, getting you wet.
His fevered lips and tongue melded with yours, his wicked fingers driving you to the brink of madness—and oh damn, the devil that possessed them felt so heavenly—as he pressed you against the vanity, bending you over its edge.
A knowing gleam flickered in his eyes. “Mm, you talk too much, woman.”
Your thoughts blurred, teetering on the edge of control, yet deep within, a spark of aggravation incessantly burned, especially when you remembered the person you had caught him manhandling earlier this afternoon—
Miss Hunter.
“Sylus—! Stop!”
"Tch." He pulled away with a hiss as soon as you pushed his chest away with everything you had. Just like that, you were left high and dry; the emptiness his fingers had left behind made you instinctively cross your legs. "Why are you so uncooperative tonight?"
"You—" Gasping for breath, you clutched your slipping nightgown, glaring sharply at him despite the discomfort of the hard surface beneath you. "You really think you can shut me up... with sex?"
"I'm telling you, nothing happened." Sylus’ lips curled with a smug hint of satisfaction, only fueling your irritation. "Didn’t know my woman had such a jealous streak until now."
If there was one thing you’d learned from years by Sylus' side, it was that everything he did had a purpose. If it had been some random bimbo hanging around the casino or his resorts, you wouldn’t bat even an eye.
But this was the Miss Hunter—the very girl he had spent decades searching for, the one with whom he shared a bond so profound that he had forsaken everything just for the chance to find her again.
And compared to her, you were just his bedwarmer... who just happened to catch his eye.
"You two were kissing," you accused almost spitefully, the words laced with bitter edge.
His grin vanished, replaced by a look of distaste. "We were not."
You knew what you saw—he cornered her in the furthermost corner of the base, far away from even from the prying eyes of Luke and Kieran, and they were definitely just an inch away from each other. "Then what were you two doing?"
"Can't we talk just like acquaintances do?" The lack of viable answer gnawed at you. If there was nothing to hide, why didn’t he just say so and put your suspicions to rest?
"Will you do her like you do me?" The venom in your voice startled even you, slipping out before you could stop it. "Ha. I should’ve known..."
By now, he had this sour yet stern look in his face that made you almost shudder but you stood your ground. His tone was almost mocking, "Insecurity makes you so bitter, sweetie. Get yourself together."
It felt like a prick in the heart. Oh. As heartless as you were in the face of blood and gore, you still had it apparently when faced with your lover's conniving red eyes and sinful lips.
But more than that... as they said, heartbreak is one thing, but your ego is another.
"To hell with you!" you snapped, sitting up straight. Sylus blinked, momentarily caught off guard by the look on your face—was it showing the hurt? Or just plain defiance? Even you weren’t sure as you spun on your heel and stormed out of his room promptly.
Not for the first time, the very idea that he might be getting on with another woman twisted something inside you, the ache sharper than you expected. It suddenly saddened you to a degree that it brought mist to your eyes.
For the next three days, you ignored Sylus almost completely. He tried to get back to your good graces, but you paid him no mind, acting as if he didn't exist.
“Missus, please— just say yes!”
And caught in the crossfire, poor Luke and Kieran had become his reluctant messengers.
You unconsciously shot a sharp glare at the twins. Perhaps it was the mental strain you were putting yourself under, but you truly hadn’t meant to scare them more than they already were.
"Boss is really cranky when he isn't in a good mood," Luke pleaded, clasping his hands together. "Please just help us this time, will you?"
"He promises he’ll make it right!" Kieran chimed in with a hopeful grin. "As soon as he wins his match this weekend, you’ll see—there’s nothing to worry about!"
Sylus and his penchant for boxing. You knew these underground matches were something he indulged in now and then, and you'd let him be.
But this time...
"How are you so sure he's going to win?" You lifted your chin, a taunting smirk curling your lips. "And no, I'm not going. Tell him that."
"Missus, you have to see reason— there is no way Boss is having an affair—" Kieran insisted, shaking his head in frustration.
"Boss is whipped!" Luke cut in, throwing his hands up. "For you! Can't you see?!"
"..." For a solid five seconds, silence blanketed the room. You arched an eyebrow so high it made Luke look like he'd just spilled the world’s best-kept secret, while Kieran slapped a hand over his mask in exasperation.
And things were obviously not getting better—
"Ha. I'm what?"
You could see the twins visibly gulping the very second Sylus' voice boomed across the hall, and you rolled your eyes.
"Pfft," he let out this low chuckle as he made his way towards the three of you. "Hear that, sweetie? Luke isn't wrong."
"..."
"The little kitty's anger hasn't subsided, I see," he murmured, tilting his head to the side with a playful smirk, arms folded across his chest. "Such little trust you have in me."
You sighed. "Don't tempt me to hate you prolifically, Sylus."
"You wound me," he retorted, ruby-red eyes narrowed. "I have been nothing but honest and transparent."
You turned away, pressing your lips into a tight line. Deep down, you knew how childish all of this felt. Maybe it was nothing, after all. Maybe, just like he said, it was your insecurity twisting things.
And why are you so insecure, anyway?
"Keep your eyes on me, kitten."
Suddenly, caught off guard, you almost yelped as he tilted your chin towards him, forcing you to meet his gaze. Your heart raced wildly, but you fought to keep it in check.
"I win, and you’ll do what I say," his eyes flicking from yours to your lips, his voice a velvety whisper in your ear. "But if I lose... you can have your way—however you want."
Your pride took over. A second later, you jerked your face away, refusing to give him the satisfaction. To salvage your dignity, you let out an indignant scoff.
"Best hope you lose then."
You’d never been fond of crowds, let alone sitting in the stands of a boxing match.
And yet here you were, clutching a bouquet of fresh flowers—the twins had practically shoved them into your arms before bolting away—surrounded by the deafening roar of fans.
You would punish them later, you so would. It was humid and you were fuming. There was nothing interesting here, and to top it all off, Sylus’ turn to the ring was taking forever.
Until it didn't.
When he finally stepped into the spotlight, you caught sight of him on the big screen. And in that moment—when that devilish smirk curled his lips—you could’ve sworn he wasn’t aiming it at the crowd.
He was throwing it right at your direction.
And oh, how the rapid and traitorous thump-thump-thump inside your chest drowned out everything else, as if the roar of the crowd gradually faded at the realization.
How is it that he always manages to get your heart in his grasp?
. . .
When they said this sport wasn’t for the weak, they weren’t lying. No matter how tough you thought you were, you still flinched every time the opponent’s fist connected with your lover’s jaw.
Despite all the aggravation you harbored about him, watching him stumble and get knocked back felt like a punch to your own gut. In that moment, all you wanted was for it to end.
And when it finally was—when the referee raised Sylus’ arm and declared his victory—you exhaled a shaky breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Relief washed over you in a quiet, fleeting wave.
However, reporters and cheers quickly swarmed him, and the distance between you felt even greater then. There he stood, proud as ever, lofty as if standing atop clouds, surveying the world with thinly veiled contempt. Meanwhile, you…
You were still dissatisfied. Sylus had a way of winning everything he set his sights on, while you remained stuck with your own petty grievances and emotional baggage you subjected yourself to.
It was vexing, really. How you wanted him to win and not at the same time. How you wanted his everything and knowing you would never be able to.
“What’s the secret to winning this match?!” one reporter asked, voice brimming with excitement.
Sylus answered with a casual smirk. “I made a bet I absolutely can’t lose,” he said coolly. “So, I won.”
The girls in the stands erupted into deafening cheers at his response, their shrill voices forcing you to cover your ears.
The nerve. You scoffed, irked by his answer and by the crowd’s adoration. You decided you wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of you lingering here any longer.
Snatching up your bag and that damned bouquet, you marched toward the exit with long, determined strides when—
“Ooh? And who is this special person?!”
“Ah, look, there she is.”
You froze mid-step as the spotlight suddenly pinned you in its beam. Whirling around, your breath caught as you saw Sylus descending from the arena, his gaze locked onto yours.
What the hell?
For a moment, you froze in utter disbelief as he approached you with that effortless grace, as if the crowd around him didn’t exist. Before you could piece together your fragmented thoughts, he was already standing before you.
“Are you mad?!” you murmured in a hiss, your voice barely louder than a breath over the distant roar of cheers, yet pointed enough to pierce the air between you.
Sylus, however, only let out a snort, swiftly snatching the bouquet from your arms, and pulling you by the shoulders— his breath tickled you ear as he whispered:
“Got you.”
—and before you could react, he crashed his lips on yours in a bold kiss that at sent the crowd into an instant uproar of cheers.
“Whoa, whoa! The champion! Look how manly he is!”
“He has a girlfriend?!”
“Oh, my! To be that girl!”
“—!” You almost pushed him away, only to falter when you realized his kiss was anything but forceful. It was deep but disarmingly gentle.
Sylus pulled back just as quickly, his eyes twinkled with mischief as he took in your stunned expression.
“You’re mine now, sweetie,” he said with a smug grin, giving you a light pat in the head.
The way his eyes crinkle as he looks at you... Your cheeks burned, and your heart thundered in your chest, drowning the roars of the swooning crowd—
Because in that moment, you could’ve sworn there was nothing but pure adoration in those mesmerizing garnet eyes of his.
“You've gone and done it... What if anyone recognizes us?”
Later that night, freshly showered and wrapped in silk nightgowns, you sat at the edge of the bed, towel in hand as you dried your wet hair. You cast a glance at Sylus, who had just bathed with you and now lounged nearby with an unbothered grin.
The events from this afternoon still felt like somewhat of a dream to you. You had never been under that much of a spotlight before— too used to a life shrouded in shadows, quietly biding your time, preparing to brandish your blade when the moment came.
But through Sylus, every now and then, you caught a glimpse of what it felt like to stand on the other side of that darkness. And it felt freeing— like you could finally breathe, unburdened by the scent of blood and gunpowder.
"Wouldn't that be fun? Imagine the headlines," he shrugged nonchalantly. "The Onychinus leader and his missus... masquerading as a boxer and his fan for a day."
You huffed, shooting him a stink eye. "That's not even funny."
Despite the public display that Sylus had more or less pulled and made the two of you known as lovers even in underground world, there was still a gnawing curiosity at the back of your mind, feeding your insecurity—
The sight of him and Miss Hunter replayed again in your mind's eye. It was never fun finding them together in such close proximity.
And yet, in the end... he returned to you, still. Unspoken it may be, but Sylus had always taken your side so far.
You let out a long, resigned sigh. That caught his attention as he turned to you. "What is it?"
"Nothing," you quipped, slightly grimacing. "Forget it. I'm going to sleep."
Sylus raised an eyebrow, his gaze lingering on you. Even when you hid it, he knew what you'd wanted to ask and if you asked it now, he would tell you.
The way your face had fallen bothered him more than he'd like to admit. He rose from the recliner and moved to your side. "No, you won't be sleeping."
"What?"
He knelt beside you, gently taking hold of your leg, and pressed a kiss to your calf, his touch warm and unhurried as he met your gaze with a sly smile.
"Sylus..." you eyed him with incredulity, feeling yourself getting warm.
His red eyes crinkled. "Don't you want to ask me something?"
Your hand reached out to caress his face, and he leaned into your touch. That simple act alone brought a small, intrigued smile to your face. "No."
"Hmph. Really?"
"What?" You traced your fingers on his sharp jaw, admiring it. "You think I'll demand you for answers about whether you're two-timing me with Miss Hunter again?"
Sylus tilted his head, relishing the way your fingers cradled his face, staying quiet, however.
You were really great at this pushing and pulling game. It irked him to see how detached you seemed now when he knew a part of you had been fazed by it days ago.
He disliked it when you tried to hide what you were feeling. He hated it even more when you doubted him for anything. But seeing how unhappy you had been lately rattled him.
"Nothing happened," he said in a low voice, catching your hand and locking eyes with you. "Would you feel better if I had told you that since the beginning?"
"Who knows?" you replied with a soft shrug, a wry smile on your lips. "You didn't tell me before."
What a vixen. The thought simmered in his mind. Mine, though.
Like a cat pouncing on its owner, Sylus suddenly moved, going straight for your lips and pinning you to the bed. Intertwining his fingers with yours, he pried your lips open with his tongue.
Yet despite it all, you felt how gentle he was. The Sylus from before would just fuck you senseless and be done with it, but the one with you now... he treated you with an unexpected tenderness, as if savoring every second with you.
He pulled away only when you were breathless, the saliva string between your lips breaking as he gave you a moment to gasp for air. His gaze softened, lingering on your flushed face, a satisfied smile curling on his lips.
"You will see for yourself tomorrow. Tonight, however..." he trailed off, his lips hovering just above yours.
But you placed one hand on his chest and another on his neck, looking up at him with bleary eyes, the vulnerability in your gaze tugging at something within him.
"Actually, I'm a bit exhausted..." You found his intense gaze and blinked slowly. "So, can you be not as rough?"
"Ha." Sylus let out a snicker at your request, taking the hand you had on his chest and pressing a soft kiss on it.
What a precious little thing you are. Your face right now... It was a look he couldn’t resist, one that made him want to protect you and ruin you, all at once.
His smirk lingered. "Of course, sweetie. I'll go easy on you tonight."
And true to his word, he didn't break his promise.
Even as he pinned both your wrists above your head, capturing your lips in a heated kiss—
—as he dived between your legs, his tongue skillfully devouring your clit—
—and as you tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer.
And later, when he pulled you into his arms and murmured softly until you drifted to sleep.
When you woke up the next morning, it was because of two things.
One— it was freezing. Your thin nightgown was definitely no match against the biting chill of a winter morning.
And two— Sylus wasn't here.
You wondered where he could have gone as it was his bedtime, but as you pulled the comforter closer to keep yourself from shivering, something caught your eye.
It took you a full three seconds to process it.
There was a ring on your finger.
"Huh...?" You were jolted awake by the sight of the glittering ruby. It was intricate, yet strangely nostalgic, reminding you of Sylus' eyes. How? Why?
You immediately turned to the nightstand, your gaze landing on a small jewelry box sitting neatly atop it. You scrambled for it, the name of the jeweler embossed on the lid caught your attention. It wasn’t from anywhere in N109 Zone.
It clicked to you at all once. So, that was why he was with Miss Hunter?
But more than that, what caught your heart was when you flipped it open and found a note inside, with a scrawled handwriting you would never mistake for anyone else's—
Because forever is too long and boring to be spent alone. So, your answer is…?
#sylus x reader#lads sylus x reader#love and deepspace x reader#l&ds x reader#love and deepspace#lads x reader#love and deepspace x you#lads x you#sylus x you#l&ds x you#sylus smut#lads smut#lads sylus#sylus love and deepspace#love and deepspace smut#l&ds smut#love and deepspace sylus
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when you feel like you're fine in isolation but as soon as you interact with nice people who seem to like you you're like oh maybe I'm not perfectly well adjusted actually
#not in a 'i had such a sad childhood how shall i ever relate' way#more in a 'maybe it's a bad thing that people being nice to me instead of just polite leaves me at a loss for words' way#every time it happens with someone i didn't expect it from or in a format i didn't anticipate i bluescreen#i don't THINK i'm a mean or unpleasant person in fact i like most people and i try to be kind and attentive to others#if anything i'm just very shy and unsurprisingly awkward which is its own brand of deterrent#but i straight up just can't conceptualize people liking me or wanting to talk to me outside the required socialization of whatever activity#my gf will say things like 'i get excited when you text me' and i will go haha! why though#or my partner whom i adore and trust implicitly will say something that makes me realize they understand me better than i do myself#and have for maybe years been compensating for things i do unconsciously or have not shown myself capable of#it's humbling and kinda devastating to find out that others have been crossing distances for me that i couldn't even see i put in their way#walls that i am only just beginning to be able to see myself building#mortifying ordeal etc.#i know i have a serious self esteem problem#it's easy to describe myself as plain and awkward and boring and pedantic or even bland#it's hard to feel like i have any merits at all when i feel lacking in all the qualities that other people care about#and so it's easy to keep myself at a remove so i can easily remove myself when i feel i am work to be around#it is impossibly hard to trust people to care about me even when i care about them#you know? I'm scared of skating because i'm scared of going faster than i can handle and i can't trust my body#my wrists hold enough tension to choke the music when i play guitar because i need every note to be tightly controlled#i tense up in my partner's arms when I'm dancing because i don't know how to trust anyone but myself with my weight#god!! i'm just incredibly fucked up and i didn't even have to have real trauma to end up that way#just parents who rarely treated feelings as a legitimate reason to do anything#it's always chin up and stick it out and you can handle anything#and if you just get thru it it will be over and you can feel next time#or when you get the certification and you did what we want to be proud of you for and then it won't matter you'll be proud of yourself too!#it's kind of turned out though that with all this emphasis on achievement and very little practice with feelings (my own or others')#i'm mainly left with a lot of lonely things i take pride in being good at and not many friends#how do you learn how to be friends with someone or if they like you when there isn't a goal to achieve?#how do you overcome the shame of needing a valid reason to be around someone to just like. schedule a hangout because you like them#stupid fucking catholic repression did not interact well with my probable autism
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can my sister PLEASE stop getting annoyed at every single thing my other sister does. can we just enjoy one single evening together without her constantly being like "stop that" "no don't do that" "listen to me!" for no reason other than "i think it's embarrasing when she [dances/talks to herself/laughs at something that isn't really funny]"
#personal post#ok for context my one sister is 12 and my other sister whom she complains about is 14 and has down syndrome#and my younger sister has. no patience at all#the 14 year old likes dancing in public if theres music playing and the 12 year old gets so upset about it#and she talks about her as if shes not there#we went to a restaurant this evening and she kept getting mad at her for little things#and as we were leaving she voiced out loud how annoyed she was at [14 year old sister]#and then [14 year old sister] ran off in the direction of our home#(she knows the way and we'd come there by foot)#and [12 year old sister] was like “why is she running off now?”#and i didn't say anything but internally i was like “maybe because she's an actual person and can hear what you say about her??”#anyway turned out that was in fact the reason#like i understand [12 year old sister] doesn't always have it easy#and she's. yknow. 12#but still#i feel like it's not too much to ask to just show our sister some respect and let her do her own thing#but whenever i try to talk to her about it she gets really defensive#like “but i just can't be as patient as you! i just can't stand it when she's embarrassing in public! there's nothing i can do about that!”#you could try.#like that would be a pretty good first step.#anyway#cw ableism#bc at the core of it that's what this is
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Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi
Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.
Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.
The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):
The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.
In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)
Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.
I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.
The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.
The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)
Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.
Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.
To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#laios touden#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#the winged lion#autistic#autism#clay writes#i GUESS#this was so spur of the moment. im so busy right now i dont have time to be analysing laios touden#i wuont angry autistic rep..
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I've seen some folks saying that the reference to The Great Gatsby in TBOB was just a joke Alex didn't put deeper meaning into—which might be true, IDK the man's motives for choosing Gatsby specifically—and that there's no way the book has any deeper relevance to Bill's character beyond the eye doctor thing—which is totally wrong. Whether or not Alex intended parallels, there ARE parallels. So, for those of you who didn't read or didn't pay attention to The Great Gatsby:
the book's about a guy who started out as an unimportant loser with starry-eyed dreams, who very quickly gained a lot of power/gold and now presents himself as this dapper fancy well-dressed super important guy.
He constantly throws huge parties, he's got a reputation for being THE party host. But it's a sham, he's pouring all these resources into this party to make himself look so cool but he's living at the very edge of his means.
He lies about his history, lies about how he got his money (spoilers: he's a criminal), lies even in how he presents his personality—he's a con artist, he's always wearing a mask.
The reason he's doing all this—putting on the mask, making himself look so great—is because he's trying to reach across this very thin boundary to a better life he can see, JUST out of reach, so close but something he's never quite clever enough and rich enough and persuasive enough to reach. Every night at his parties he stares at his goal, he can LITERALLY SEE it, he just can't reach it himself.
The best he can do is briefly charm and dazzle someone on the other side of this social boundary, but he can never quite persuade that person to help him cross over; in fact no one on the other side of the boundary thinks he has a right to cross it.
He finds somebody—the guy narrating the book about him—who's very lonely, socially awkward, and disillusioned, whom he can easily awe with his stories and persuade to help him reach his goal, come on please, it'll be harmless! (It is not harmless.)
He loses control over the act he's putting on and over the people who only follow him around as long as he's still got the resources to keep them entertained and loyal.
It ends with him getting murdered by a guy he has LITERALLY never met before—by which point everyone has realized that he's a nobody making it all up as he goes along who was just desperately chasing the illusion of a good life and the admiration of everyone around him.
The narrator ends up disillusioned with him and the whole culture around him of grasping and clawing for a glitzy glamorous life at the expense of the regular people who are manipulated, trampled, and discarded in the process.
Now tell me that Gatsby doesn't have any parallels to Bill's character. And this is just based off reading the book a decade ago—there's probably tons of little details I don't even remember. The book may well have been chosen as a coincidence, it did recently hit the public domain. But if so, it's a VERY GOOD coincidence.
#the book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#gravity falls#(and yknow what this post is targeted to the GF fandom but since I DID just write a whole post about the book I might as well tag—)#the great gatsby
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“if you eat at chick fil a you’re the scum of the earth” posts always just make me wanna go get chick fil a out of spite
#win rambles#like i could explain my reasoning for eating there and defend it but i actually don't have to defend myself lol#and i'm p sure i already have in previous posts#but i'll just say this: some people really like to prove their moral superiority by saying 'it's so easy to do/not do this thing'#acting like being a good person is a list of things you have to do or not do (which is very christian)#and the people who say that are the people for whom it IS easy#and for some people. it is NOT so easy#for lots and lots of reasons#like if it's easy for you then why are you standing up on your soapbox talking about what a good person you are because of it?#'it's not even good' then why are you so proud of yourself for not getting it? when you wouldn't anyway???#anyway y'all can unfollow me for eating at chick fil a if you want but i'm so sick of this black and white view of the world#(also LMAO at the people who are like 'we don't have chick fil a here' THEN WHY ARE YOU A PART OF THIS CONVERSATION????#like i can't lie and say seeing this doesn't grind my gears and make me feel defensive but i'm not gonna defend my personal reasons for#going there and i'm not going to apologize for it or hide it
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Hello everyone, I'm here today to engage in the absolutely thankless task of defending the hell out of this sentence getting commuted.
First things first:
I am not a prison abolitionist (this is important)
This former judge is one of the worst scumbags alive. Basically, he sent kids to juvie/prison in return for kickbacks.
So why did I want his sentence commuted? Oh, me? I didn't.
But this was part of a package of commutations requested by prison abolitionists. Yes, they asked for this, even spent hundreds of thousands on advertisements to demand it. Basically, Biden commuted the sentences of 1,500 people who were on "compassionate release", meaning they were already living at home. This is mostly just really old/sick people.
Biden didn't commute this guy's sentence as such, he commuted the sentences of a type of person out on compassionate release and didn't take the judge out of the pile. He didn't say, "except, not him".
This judge (scumbag) served 13 of his 16 years, but in 2020 was sent home because he was in such poor health it was assumed Covid would kill him. He's been at home ever since.
Now, this is important. This man cannot commit this offense again. He's not a judge any more! So recidivism is impossible. He cannot re-offend. So, in his case, prison can't be for rehabilitation or in any way to make sure he doesn't do it again. He can't! Never could have. The only real reason he was there was to punish him, which is fine. Personally, I'm fine with prisons being solely for punishment. But are you? Is that what you've been saying? Has that been your stance, that prisons are to punish people?
"But this guy was especially bad." Oh, so... mercy for people who didn't do really bad things? Then you're not getting any of these commutations. Because if you were in federal prison for long enough to qualify to be out on compassionate release, you did something really bad! Biden also pardoned everyone in federal prison for non-violent marijuana charges and you could count the number of people on your fingers because you don't actually get sent to federal prison over minor drug crimes.
Let's make it clear: "Mercy and leniency, but only for people who I define as innocent" means.... no mercy and no leniency. And you can be on board with that. You can be vengeful or a revanchist or bitter and brutal at heart; you're totally allowed. But then don't pretend you're not! In fact, that's the heart of Trumpism: there are those for whom laws should protect but not bind, and for others laws which should bind but not protect. (Or, as Óscar Benavides put it: "For my friends, everything; for my enemies, the law.") If your stance is just "good things for people I like and agree with, and bad things for those I don't" then you just have a different sense of who should be punished or die. But your thinking is fundamentally the same. Have you had a consistent stance about vigilante killing lately? Let me ask, who's allowed to decide among the populace who may live and who must die?
It's very unlikely anyone will ever again be as generous and compassionate as Biden has been with his powers. Because when he is, when he actually does it, when he's kind down to his very soul, you fucking hate it. That's what 2024 was; the revealed preferences election. You didn't want to pay people a living wage to deliver your burrito, you don't actually want people let out of jail, and you think capital punishment is fine as long as the executioner was hot.
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Hi love! For your tortured poets department, can I request endgame from the reputation album, lando being the driver please please 🙏
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END GAME | Lando Norris
Lando Norris x Friend with benefits Piastri!Reader
SUMMARY: You were used to have random hookups just for fun, including with Lando Norris himself. It's not until he decides to lock both of you up on his driver room and talk about your weird relationship that you don't realize that, deep down, you're willing to settle down your mind and start a dating him ↳ REQUESTED: Yes! Thanks for requesting and hope you like it 💖 Part of REPUTATION in MY TORTURED DRIVERS DEPARTMENT
WORD COUNT: 2745
WARNINGS: Slightly +18 at the end (sorry for leaving it there ☺️), mentions of friends with benefits, spelling with multiple people, angst, curse words
VEE'S NOTES: Haven't written Lando in a very, very long time, so hope you like this one! University and my mental health are killing me but you know what? Writing is what keeps me going (and specially your comments have been a boost of serotonin for me lately). Also... the 2k special is already living rent free in my mind and I can't wait to achieve the goal to post it 😭 I wanna give spoilers now so... you know 🤓 ↳ TALK TO ME / REQUESTS! | FORMULA 1 MASTERLIST
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© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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"You finally decided to show up at a race. I was starting to think you only liked having me naked in your bed behind your brother’s back."
You smiled at the screen, playing with your fingers as you thought how could you answer Lando. Your relationship was based purely on sex, moreover sexting, with barely any real conversations whenever you met, moans and orgasms speaking for you both instead.
You had never felt the need to go beyond that, to involve feelings in your relationship, or at least that’s what you had made clear to Lando before sleeping with him the very first time. You also let him know that, besides him, there were other guys with whom you had no commitments whatsoever.
However, it was with Lando that you spent most of your time. The others were nothing more than a safe escape, an easy way out when the Brit wasn’t around.
"Be grateful that I even came," you finally replied. "And don’t flatter yourself. I came to see my brother, not to make you come before a race."
You hesitated, wondering if your reply was harsh enough to keep him from getting any ideas and, more importantly, to stop him from insisting on meeting up. You weren’t sure how, but you wanted to end that strange relationship before it spiraled out of control because, whether you wanted to admit it or not, you had started to feel something for him.
Yes, just a few weeks ago, you had one of your usual encounters with a friend of one of your best friends. But everything fell apart when, right before reaching your climax, you couldn’t help it: you moaned Lando’s name instead.
That was what made you question what exactly you felt for Norris and why the label of friends with benefits seemed to be fading away.
"Don’t play dumb, Piastri. See you at the motorhome. You know exactly where."
You huffed. Of course, you knew exactly where you’d be meeting. After all, ever since your brother became a Formula 1 driver, you had visited his teammate’s personal room more than Oscar’s.
With a sigh, making sure neither your mother nor your sisters were nearby, you got up, grabbed the plastic cup that still had a bit of coffee left, and walked with as much determination as you could muster toward McLaren’s motorhome, finishing your drink along the way.
As you walked, mentally preparing a script in case things got tense with Lando, you greeted the people you knew, or at least those who knew you as Y/N Piastri. Lewis was genuinely happy to see you and even stopped to chat, but you excused yourself, saying you had already made plans. Fernando gave you a knowing look, as if trying to figure out what exactly you were about to do with a certain driver.
Even your brother crossed paths with you at the entrance to McLaren’s motorhome. You managed to lie to him, partially, saying Lando had asked you to take a few pictures of him before the race.
Oscar gave you a strange look, then rolled his eyes, offered a small smile and told you to enjoy whatever it was you both were about to do.
You said nothing, but you knew your twin brother well enough to realize he already had a pretty good idea of what you were up to with Norris. Not that you tried too hard to hide it.
When you reached Lando’s room, you didn’t even have to knock. The door opened instantly, revealing a slightly tired-looking Lando with a cup in his hand. His race suit was already on but zipped only to his waist, leaving the top half hanging loose. His team cap was still on, though it didn’t last long since he took it off and tossed it aside within seconds.
He grinned from ear to ear, like he had been waiting for you with far too much anticipation.
"Come in. Make yourself at home," he said with that mischievous tone you were so used to hearing, though something about it felt slightly different this time.
You walked inside without hesitation, crossing your arms and ignoring him, except for the occasional sideways glance to see if he would do or say something before you did. Unfortunately, he didn’t.
"If you wanted a quick fuck before the race you could’ve just said so, you know?"
"I don’t think today’s the best day to fuck you and let everyone hear," he replied. "At least, not yet. Today, we’re going to talk."
"We don’t talk, Lando," you shot back, feeling an internal alarm go off. "And when we do, it’s just to ask about the safe word of the day, what we want to do to each other, and how close we are to coming."
"Well, maybe it’s time we started talking, don’t you think so?"
His answer took you completely by surprise. Your gazes remained locked on each other, and you felt the atmosphere grow tense.
For the first time in a long while, there was no excuse you could use to avoid that conversation with Lando. Maybe the fact that you had been ignoring him for the past few weeks was enough to make him realize that there was a chance—however small—that things had changed between you two.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm the growing sense of unease settling in your chest. Lando kept looking at you with that same intensity he always did, except this time… it was different. It wasn’t the first time you found yourselves in a situation like this, where there were a thousand unsaid things hanging between you, waiting to be voiced. But it was the first time, at least on your part, where feelings were involved beyond pure physical desire.
"I don’t think there’s anything to talk about," you said as nonchalantly as possible, but your tense posture betrayed you.
Lando set his cup down on the table beside him. Then, he sat on the edge, crossing his arms again, and reached for your hands only for you to pull away and take a step back.
"I think you know exactly what we need to talk about," he replied calmly. His voice was lower than usual, and you felt the heat grow between your legs. You shook your head, feeling guilty and doing your best to push away that sudden, but familiar, awakening in your body.
"You’ve been avoiding me, Y/N. And don’t tell me you haven’t, because you were in Monaco and never called me to meet up… to see each other," he added, his voice laced with something unreadable. "In fact, we usually sext almost every day, and you didn’t even bother to tell me what new lingerie set you bought for when you came over."
"I didn’t tell you I was coming to Miami either."
Your reply, rather than making you sound indifferent, exposed you completely. Lando raised an eyebrow, as if he had caught you red-handed. That was when you realized you had seriously screwed up.
"I haven’t been avoiding you, Lando. I’ve just been busy," you insisted.
"Busy? You mean busy by ignoring me?" He scoffed, ironic. His expression turned much more serious now, and you started to worry about where this might lead. "Tell me the truth, Y/N. What’s going on? What’s happening with you?" he emphasized.
You averted your gaze, pretending to take interest in the room’s decoration, a room you already knew by heart. You knew you couldn’t keep dodging the topic, but you also had no idea how to confront it without changing everything you had so far. It was impossible to put into words what you felt for Lando, not when your relationship had always been purely physical. And especially not when there was a real chance you were just confused… and, well, you couldn’t forget the possibility that he might only see you as his hookup.
"Nothing’s wrong," you finally responded.
"I thought we were always honest with each other," Lando sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
You felt your throat tighten. It was hard to breathe. You had been honest, at least when it came to the unrestricted desire between you, to touching each other without attachments, to seeking comfort in one another without questions that went beyond your wildest fantasies. You had avoided anything personal.
But now, you were slowly breaking the unspoken rules that had kept you in perfect balance until this moment.
"I’ve been busy, Lando, and the last thing I wanted was to deal with you, alright?" you insisted, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "Things should have stayed the way they were until, according to you, I started ignoring you."
"No, Y/N, things aren’t like that," the Brit denied, shaking his head. He stepped closer, cornering you against the wall. "If you don’t want to face something because you’re afraid of rejection, just tell me. But, for fuck’s sake, don’t act like I did something wrong, because you’re killing me."
"Lando…"
"Stop insisting that nothing is happening between us, when that’s exactly what makes me think the opposite."
His confession caught you completely off guard. His words—clear, direct, and without a hint of sarcasm, threw you off… especially because you knew he was right.
You felt the urge to run, to disappear, to pretend none of this had ever happened. Most of all, you wanted to deny yourself any romantic thought you had ever had about Oscar’s teammate.
When you lowered your gaze, Lando moved back slightly, giving you space and making sure he didn’t overwhelm you more than you already seemed to be. You sighed, trying to relax once again, but before you could say anything, he spoke first.
"Tell me nothing’s wrong between us, Y/N Piastri," he said softly. "If nothing has really changed, if everything is the same between us… dare to look at me in the eyes and say it."
Your chest tightened. You couldn’t run away, not when Lando had you emotionally cornered, teetering on the edge of an explosion. Your breathing was unsteady, heavy. Your mind screamed at you to find an excuse, anything that would let you stay true to yourself regardless of what happened next.
Lando waited, unmoving, his blue eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made you tremble for the first time in your life—without him even touching you. It was the first time he had shown himself to you like this: so vulnerable and yet so determined at the same time.
"Nothing is wrong between us, Lando Norris," you finally whispered, forcing the words out, ignoring both your heart and the boy standing in front of you.
"Say it again, but this time, look me in the eyes."
He didn’t move an inch. He knew you were lying; your posture gave you away—the way you avoided his gaze, the way your fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt and your accreditation pass…
You squeezed your eyes shut tightly. You had no choice… at least, not entirely.
Lifting your gaze, you met his blue eyes once again. Your lips parted slightly, ready to try and let out a lie convincing enough for both him and yourself.
But it was impossible. You couldn’t keep doing this, not when, deep down, and no matter how hard you tried to deny it, you felt something more than just pleasure for Lando Norris. The fear of rejection… it terrified you. The thought of him turning you away, of losing what you had with him, was unbearable.
"Lando…"
"You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready," he interrupted. "But please… stop pushing me away. Stop making this to us."
"It’s just…"
Nothing. No matter how much you tried to explain yourself, to find a logical enough reason for your sudden ghosting, you couldn’t.
"It’s just what, Y/N?" the Brit pressed. "Are you afraid to take a risk? To admit something because you’re scared of what might happen next? Because you don’t want to change the life you’ve had until now? Because you want to…?"
Lando forced himself to stop. He ran his hands through his hair, exasperated, turning his back to you. Guilt hit you immediately, your body trembling as the storm inside you began to break free. The driver rubbed his face, frustration radiating from him. This was exhausting him. You were exhausting him, to the point where he was starting to doubt his own feelings. Feelings that had started to grow the moment he realized it hurt when you ignored him, when you didn’t even send him a simple "Hey."
"I wish this were different, Y/N," he finally murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he turned to face you again. "I wish you didn’t make me feel like this. I wish I could just be content with what we had before and pretend none of this was happening…"
Your stomach twisted painfully. That was exactly what you had been thinking, the very reason you had pulled away from him and from whatever this was. You had ignored the fact that your feelings for Lando Norris had become something much stronger—maybe they had been there for far longer than you were willing to admit.
"Lando, listen" You tried to step closer, but he pulled away.
"No, Y/N, no," he said bitterly. "I tried convincing myself there was a reason you were ignoring me, acting like I was nothing to you, and then it hit me that I really want you as more than just someone to fuck."
"That…" you struggled to say, stepping toward him. This time, Lando didn’t stop you. The sincerity in your eyes, the way you looked both calm and nervous at the same time, made him realize he had to trust his instincts. And that was exactly what they were telling him.
"That’s what I wanted to tell you," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, but Lando still heard you. "That’s why I kept you on standby for two weeks… I knew this would change everything, that you’d react badly, that we’d end up fighting, and I… I didn’t know how to face the possibility of you rejecting… this."
Lando stared at you in surprise before a sad smile crept onto his lips.
"Y/N… I’ve always been good at reading signals, but this has been driving me fucking crazy."
"And you think it’s not been making me feel the same?" you shot back, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.
Lando stepped closer, taking your hands in his. You didn’t resist, feeling how the both of you tensed at the contact. His lips inched toward yours, and when they finally met, the kiss was so fierce, so full of passion, that you ended up straddling him on the couch, moving against him, desperate to feel him. Even though you both knew there was still a race in two hours.
"I don’t want to touch you like this, Y/N," Norris whispered against your ear as you left small bites along his neck. "Y/N, stop it babe…"
"I don’t wanna be just another ex-love to you, Lando…" you murmured between kisses, still searching for friction between your bodies.
"And I don’t wanna miss you like your other lovers do, babe…"
This time, Lando gripped your waist firmly, flipping you onto the couch beneath him. His eyes never left yours as he carefully lifted your shirt and started massaging your breasts over your bra.
"I wanna be your end game, Y/N," Lando breathed, unable to tear his gaze away from you.
Your breath came out in shallow pants, and you felt like you were teetering on the edge. Your hands gripped the unfastened gear around his waist, tugging lightly to keep him close.
"Then prove it."
"I have a race in two hours, love…" he murmured, his voice rough as he pressed his forehead to yours, his arousal growing.
"Then you better be quick," you teased, running your hands over his abs beneath the fireproof. "Especially if you don’t want Osc to hear us…"
"You’re gonna be the death of me one day, Y/N Piastri," Lando groaned as he trailed his fingers up your thighs, lowering himself before you. "Now, open your legs for me... You deserve a punishment after being such a bad, bad girl these past few days…"
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x yn#formula 1 smut#f1 smut#lando norris one shot#lando norris x yn#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando norris smut#lando norris angst#lando norris fic#ln4 x reader#ln4 fanfic#f1 imagine#my tortured drivers department#reputation
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BATBOYS AS ROMANTIC MOVIE LEADS.
note : so basically the batboys and what romance movie / love interest character they would are !!!!
BRUCE WAYNE as...
CAPTAIN VON TRAPP ( the sound of music )
no i'm being so fr when i first watched this a few months ago i was so contemplating writing a fic or series of this exact scenario,, like reader is a nanny or something for bruce wayne's kids and they fall in love
take away nazi germany and it's LITERALLY a bruce wayne love story
him and his many kids
he would be slow to warm up at first, because at that time i imagine him to be very robert pattinson, very emo very lonely, very lego batman as in falsely independent
but then he realises he's in love with the person right in front of him, whom his kids adore, and he would do anything for them
DICK GRAYSON as...
JOHNNY MARTIN ( penelope )
if you haven't seen penelope this is your sign to go watch it because james mcavoy plays THEEE most dreamy man i have ever seen
he falls in love with who you are, not what you could be or what other people say you are,, he makes his own judgements and sticks to them, even everything you hate about yourself he sees the beauty in it all
literally ready to give up everything for That person
he may make a silly mistake like johnny did in the filmb, but you gotta realise dick grayson is not the man you want to let get away GO CHASE YOUR MAN GET HIM BACK
anf also the ending scene where johnny and penelope kiss HELLO he is literally putting his whole james mcavussy into that kiss and we all know dick grayson wouldn't half ass anything for the one he's most in love with ;(
JASON TODD as...
PATRICK VERONA ( 10 things i hate about you )
you can't tell me the whole bad boy and miscommunication thing wouldn't happen because it just WOULD
like say after everything's happened, jason too is a little bit emo and is this brooding "bad" kid who smokes in the corner of the library or something and hangs out at bars after school
he wants to make a little extra cash just to be extra rebel (he just doesn't want to ask bruce for money because he's going through a phase) and he doesn't reallllyyy care about the person he's being paid to take out
but then it hits and every time he looks at them angels start singing and they glow like they've been kissed by the gods
TIM DRAKE as...
JESSE WALLACE ( before sunrise )
okay forgive me if i get anything wrong here it's been a very long time since i last watched this movie but
tim has that cheekiness when he's in love that jesse has, maybe not exactly as cheesy (i can't watch the kissing scenes becquse they're so sloppy lol), but he falls and he falls hard
when he likes / loves someone they literally take up every fibre of his being and morph him into a lighter, happier person
he notices the little things, like the scene of wanting to tuck celine's hair behind her ear but being too shy because she already did it ???? that's SO tim because it's like he wants to be this suave macho guy, but he's just a little bit shy at the same time at initiating things
but he's in a european country getting all cultured and he's met this amazing person and he can't just let them get away
DAMIAN WAYNE as...
MR DARCEY ( pride & prejudice )
LOLLL yes i did it i could so totally see damian as like this awkward little thing but he shows he cares with the little things, like noting you prefer to walk so he asks to accompany you as opposed to taking public transport or driving ????
and also the hand thing
is so freaking damian
like he'd be a bit withdrawn, definitely awkward and he doesn't know how to act but he wants you BADDD sooo what daddy wants daddy gets
technically he is royalty right ?? i don't think mr darcey was royal but he definitely held a lot of prestige, so he'll be respected, have the manners he was taught to have growing up and struggle to talk to you any other way than to refer to you as if you were a blessing to walk this earth (but you're his blessing so it's okay)
#aangelinakii#dc#dc comics#dc imagines#dc reactions#dc headcanons#dc universe#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagines#bruce wayne#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne imagines#dick grayson#dick grayson imagines#dick grayson x reader#tim drake#tim drake x reader#tim drake imagines#damian wayne#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne imagines#batman#red hood#nightwing#robin
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In The Firing Line
Pairing: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Lil' bit of hurt/comfort, lil' bit of angst, lil' bit of panic
Summary: You break up a fight at your school getting hurt in the process. There's only one person you want to call in that situation.
Notes: I have in fact been punched in the line of duty as a teacher and while it's not common it is truly a scary experience and I very much wish I had a Quinn to pick up the pieces when those things happen.
Another kinda angsty one? I keep putting the reader through some stuff in this series, I promise teaching is not always this eventful...please don't be scared of it <3
Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)
Writing Masterlist
There are some dangers to your job, hazards you might say...while generally speaking teaching is a safe profession except for your stress levels, the reality is you're dealing with human beings who aren't yet capable of fully regulating their emotions and thinking through their actions. So things happen...like fights...and fights are...unfortunately something you can't just ignore as a teacher. They are in fact something you have to actively deal with.
There's a deep seated desire not to get involved, a sense of self preservation that says don't stand in between two teenage boys who are going at each other. That unfortunately is overridden by two things: 1) The duty of care you have to keep your students safe and stop them hurting themselves or others and 2) Your genuine desire to not see any of your students hurt.
At this point in your career you work off of instinct. The moment Carl throws a punch at Gabriel, while you're in the middle of teaching mind you, you're ushering every other student out of your classroom with directions to find another teacher. That leaves you with 2 teenage boys flipping tables and intent on pummelling each other. Really, you'll later find out the fight is over something silly, Gabriel had talked to the girl that Carl liked, Carl had been told that Gabriel was flirting with her and talking shit about Carl. He wasn't. Later they'll both apologise to you profusely and their sets of parents will come in and apologise to you too, but in that moment? Your only concern is stopping the fight from progressing any further and stopping blood from being spilled.
Perhaps it's misguided, but in your experience getting in the middle works. Often students stop, pulling their punches out of fear of hitting an adult, like a sort of reset button. The fact that you're there usually does the trick. So that's exactly what you do, you wedge your significantly smaller self between two teenage boys who stand well over 6ft tall, one of whom is on the boxing team and the other on basketball team. You think this is a good idea, spoiler alert, it is most certainly not.
You misjudge this, it's almost like slow motion the way that Carl's fist comes towards you, his eyes seeming to widen as he processes that you're now in the way and in the line of fire. You have just enough time and thought to turn your back to him so that he doesn't hit you anywhere soft and vulnerable.
But, fuck does it hurt to have a junior boxing champ throw a solid punch straight at your shoulder blade. You jolt straight into Gabriel who breaks your potential fall and both boys fall dead silent, fight ended as quickly as it had began. Whatever haze of red had come over them completely diffused. All you can hear is a series of swear words followed by the sounds of some of your colleagues coming in to take both boys away.
You're dimly aware of one of the English teachers wrapping an arm around you and carting you down the corridor towards the staff room, of being sat in a comfortable chair and handed a warm drink that you have little desire to sip at.
"I think she's in shock..."
"She can't teach like this, can you talk to Lisa about covering her lessons for the day?"
"Should we phone someone?"
The conversation happening near you is practically underwater, dull sounding. You register it but you don't really hear it, words that go in one ear and out the other like water off a duck's back.
Your gaze fixes on your principle who crouches in front of you with a soft smile, "Y/N, do you want to phone someone? Get them to take you home, we're going to give you the rest of the day off, okay?"
You nod more out of instinct than anything else, you feel like you're underwater or not in your own body. Adrenaline still pulsing through your system, shock having hit you so hard that you don't feel real. You feel floaty, not really present.
When you're left alone, an empty staff room, you reach for your phone. You unlock it on autopilot, find the contact without really thinking and listen to it ring, once, twice before being picked up on the third ring. Reliable and steadfast as always, he never fails to answer the phone to you.
"Hey, baby, you okay?" Quinn's voice is soft, sweet but curious with an undercurrent of worry because you almost never phone him while you're at school. It's that that seems to break you, seems to dissolve the numb shock and bring forth the waterworks.
"No..." You can't help it, you're sobbing in an instant, breathing rapidly as the shock gives way to panic, like Quinn's voice broke the dam that had been holding your emotions in check. "I-I-I..."
"Breathe, baby! Hey, hey, breathe...you're okay, what happened?" You try to follow his instructions, but your breathing is still sharp, short, stunted. Every breath cutting itself off by the next. Each sob interrupting your words and your attempts to get a full breath in.
"Baby, listen to me, okay?" You try to tune into Quinn's voice, the steady stableness of it, the way he tries to keep it as even as possible, "Breathe with me, okay? Breathe in..." You listen to him as he instructs you on how to breathe, breathing in when says and out when he says until your own breathing is back to a point where you can at least talk, still the tears don't disappear.
It's like your body has finally realised it was in danger, like it's finally realised what happened. You're just thankful that the room is empty, that everyone else is teaching right now because you can't help but feel embarrassed as you cry over the phone to your boyfriend over something that feels silly in your mind. It was just a punch and it wasn't even intended for you, you probably won't even bruise....
"What happened, baby?"
"I...I tried t-to break up a fight..." Your shoulder aches now that some of the panic has worn off, right in the shoulder blade. A reminder of the fact you've been punched by a junior boxing champ.
"Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" You can tell he's worried, the stability of his voice disappearing in favour of concern but you stay silent...you don't want to make him worry... "Sweetheart...?"
"I...I got punched in the shoulder...I'm okay...I...I think." You don't want him to worry more than he already has, you know what Quinn is like...if he could wrap you in bubble wrap and keep you with him all the time he would. You know he supports you having your own life, own career, but he also hates you being unsafe in any way. You don't want him to worry especially when he's not around, the idea that he might worry when he's away on a roadie kills you inside.
"Has anyone had a look at you?"
"No...they want me to go home though..." Not like you have a proper nurse in school anyway, besides, you're certain you're just going to ache. You doubt there's any lasting damage.
"Okay, okay, give me 20 minutes? I'll get Petey to drop me off and I'll drive you home."
"You don't have to, Quinn..." You don't like feeling like a burden and that's how you feel right now. Quinn shouldn't be spending his day off picking you up from work and looking after you. He should be relaxing, enjoying the little free time he gets between games and practices, resting his own injuries like his hand that's still braced.
"Baby, respectfully, shut up. I'm going to get you, you aren't driving home, and we're going to spend the afternoon cuddling, okay?" You can't help but smile, wiping some of the tears that have tracked over your cheeks away, the salty taste on your tongue from where a few drops had hit your mouth.
"Okay...I love you."
"I love you too. Get your stuff ready and stop feeling like a burden. You're not. I love you, so I want to help you." You can't help but huff out a laugh at him calling you out for the thoughts you don't voice, because of course Quinn would know what you were thinking, of course he'd know you were feeling like a burden already.
"You know me too well." You roll your eyes, easing yourself up from the seat you'd been placed in earlier and making your way to the door knowing you need to venture to your room to grab your things. A little bit anxious about it, but knowing the students in question were likely already in isolation or the principle's office or been sent home after everything. Even though you know without a doubt Carl and Gabriel never intended for you to get hurt.
"That's my job, sweetheart."
"We've had this discussion before, your job is to hit a piece of vulcanised rubber around on the ice." Quinn's pretty certain you sassing him is a good sign that you're getting over the shock of being punched on the job, a good enough sign that he can't stop the laugh that comes out because at least you're okay.
"That's my paying job, not my proper job. My proper job is to look after you, baby."
"Mmm, do you want an ID badge for that?" Your classroom is empty when you get to it, students having been taken somewhere else for the period, most likely to the gym. It makes it easier for you to start grabbing your things without a million and one eyes on you.
"Yes please, and a lanyard."
"I'll get that printed for you right away," You're putting your work laptop away, grabbing your water bottle, phone balanced between your ear and your shoulder. Quinn finding away to calm you without even being in the room was something you were thankful for, while that well of anxiety still sat deep in your chest, you felt at least functional in that moment. More functional than when it first happened at least.
There's a beat of silence, where Quinn is unsure if he actually wants to come off the phone. Hearing you reassures him you're okay, not perfect, but okay...but he knows that to get Petey to pick him up he needs to actually say goodbye to you. A dilemma if he ever saw one.
"I'll see you soon?"
"See you soon...thank you, Quinny," You mean it, you always mean it. For a man who is so busy, so stressed all the time, he truly never failed to be there for you. You never thought twice about phoning him because you knew he'd pick up, knew he'd help no matter the situation, even if he wasn't around he'd find someone who could help. It was his reliability that always had you reaching for his number, even when past boyfriends had been last person you might have called. Quinn was always steady, always there, always on hand.
"Anytime, baby."
You're waiting in the car park when Petey's car drives up next to you, the window rolled down for the blonde man to give you a sympathetic smile.
"Hey, Petey..." You give him your best attempt at a smile but you know it's a weak one, his features scrunching in sympathy. You can see Quinn in the passenger seat, hoodie on, beanie over his hair.
"Hey, Y/N, you okay?"
"I will be..." You answer as Quinn gets out of Petey's car, your smile starting to turn more genuine when Petey throws a bar of chocolate at you out the window. Not even just any chocolate, but the good stuff, European chocolate.
"Feel better soon, okay?"
"Thank you, Petey." You stand back as Quinn thanks Elias for the ride, tapping on the roof of the car as a sign it's okay for him to leave and you grasp the bar of chocolate tightly, feeling emotional over the thoughtful gesture.
That emotion spills over with one look from Quinn, tears starting to silently stream down your face as he pulls you into his warm arms. You feel so utterly safe the moment he does, your face pressing into his hoodie and just breathing in the scent of his cologne, the sea salt smell of his old spice deodorant. He practically traps you in his arms, trying to give you a sense of security and safety by wrapping you up tight, one hand coming to comb through the ends of your hair, the other stroking down your back in slow motions.
Quinn presses a kiss to your hair as he rocks you side to side, feeling the way your body shakes in his arms, the residual adrenaline left over from the whole affair coursing through your body. He knows better than most how your body responds after taking a hit, he's felt it time and time again on the ice, but the adrenaline usually gets worn off in play for him. For you? This is unfamiliar territory, unexpected and with no way to get all that adrenaline rush out of your system.
"I've got you, sweet girl...let it out, you're okay..." If there's one thing Quinn will always do, has always done, it's make sure you understand you can rely on him. That you don't need to hold back any of the ugly parts, the difficult parts, the raw parts, out of fear of being a burden. He doesn't care that his day is being spent stood in a school parking lot holding you while you cry, in fact he prefers it to the alternative, you pretending nothing happened, not telling him, crying on your own somewhere...
"Wanna go home, baby?" You nod into his chest, arms so tight around his waist that he almost worries he might not be able to breathe if you just squeeze a tad tighter. "Keys in your pocket?" You nod again and he slips his hand into your pocket, then the other one, fishing out your car keys.
The walk to your car is hindered by your refusal to come out from your spot hiding in his chest, you walk backwards while he walks forward. A strange sort of dance that shows just how much you trust him not to let you fall over.
It's obvious when he gets you to your car that you don't want to let go of him, that you feel safe surrounded by him in every sense of the word. Surrounded by his arms, surrounded by his hoodie, by his scent. But, Quinn is good at compromise, at finding solutions to problems, seeing the gaps in the defence and making a solid play.
"You want to wear my hoodie for the ride?" Your nod is all he gets and he's quick to strip himself of the oversized hoodie, pulling it over the top of your head and helping you work your arms into it. It's large on him and large on you, sleeves long enough to cover your hands, fabric billowing in a way that makes him think he could probably slip in there with you if he tried hard enough. He helps you pull the hood up and over your head, watching as you burying your face into the neck, breathing in the familiar smell of his cologne.
It's like hugging him when you can't and it helps you feel that comfort still when he can't hold you because he has to drive. You still feel surrounded by him, his body heat having infused the fabric, his scent in the cotton, the sheer size of the hoodie comforting you. It brings you security that you need right now.
"Better, baby?"
"Mmhm." You hum from within the hood, eyes wide and soft and it makes Quinn's heart ache a little to see you like this, so withdrawn, so needy because of something that shouldn't have happened in the first place. There's part of Quinn that wants you to stop working altogether, wants to just pay for you to put your feet up, relax and enjoy your hobbies but he knows you love your job despite the issues. He knows he could no more ask that of you than you could ask him to stop playing hockey because of the dangers associated with his career.
"Okay, let's get you home, yeah? Then I'm going to check you for a bruise, okay?"
Quinn's gentle with you as he opens the car door and helps you in, doing your seatbelt up for you and making sure you're as comfortable as possible for the ride. Your music plays the moment he starts the engine and you smile just a little when you watch him have to adjust the driver's seat, complaining that your legs are far too short.
That smile eases some of his worry but you can see his concern in the way his fingers alternate between tapping the steering wheel and gripping it tight between his palms, tight enough that his knuckles go white each time. Every now and then he reassures himself that you're okay by reaching a hand out for your thigh, palm squeezing the plush flesh once, twice, before returning back to the steering wheel.
You don't say much on the way into the apartment, just let him reach his hand back for yours, gripping it tightly with your smaller hand and letting him guide you through the apartment building hallways and through your front door. You let him guide you all the way to the bathroom until he has you in front of him under the bright florescent lights. Quinn's large palms run up and down the tops of your arms in gentle strokes as you peer at him from beneath his hood, still buried deep, breathing in his familiar smell.
"Let's take a look at you, baby, okay?" You nod and help him as he lifts the hoodie up and over your head, turning you around until your back is facing him. It's intimate but rather clinical, not the sort of undressing you might usually experience with Quinn and you appreciate that. You appreciate that he can see you undressed for practical reasons, genuine reasons without making it sexual or strange, you appreciate that Quinn's concern right now is making sure you're okay not the fact he can see your bra.
You can feel his hands glide over the skin of your back and shoulders, assessing, the careful way he looks you over as if a single touch might cause you more unnecessary pain.
"Has it bruised?" Your voice is rough from the crying and the period of silence you'd entered into and Quinn takes it as a good sign that you're starting to talk to him again.
"Yeah, baby, practically black and blue...the kid a boxing champ or something?" He means it as a joke, but the irony is that he's not wrong.
"Yeah, he was actually..."
"Shit, baby...stay here, 'm going to get some ice and paracetamol for that bruise, okay?" You let him go but the moment he's gone you're looking in the mirror, twisting your head round as far as possible to see what the damage it.
Quinn's not wrong, you're legitimately black and blue, your shoulder has a nice fist sized bruise that is already turning various shades of blue and purple, blood pooling under the skin. It explains why each roll of your shoulder aches like nothing else.
"Here, baby," Quinn returns to the bathroom with a tea towel filled with ice, pressing it against the bruise and holding it there. It's cold, uncomfortably so, causing you to hiss.
"s cold..." you mumble frowning at him in the mirror and Quinn gives you a sympathetic look and a quick, commiserating kiss to the top of your shoulder.
"I know, but it'll bring the swelling down, just a few minutes for me, baby?"
"Okay...a few minutes" You agree watching him tend to you in the mirror, downing the paracetamol he brought back for you from the first aid drawer he keeps in the kitchen. Quinn's attentive, even as he holds the ice filled towel to your skin he checks every now and then that he's not giving you freezer burn, that it's helping reduce the swelling and not actually hurting you more.
"Atta, girl," Quinn's free hand cups the back of your neck, thumb rubbing back and forth soothingly, every now and then digging in to a sore spot to distract you from the uncomfortable cold sensation against your shoulder blade.
"Can we cuddle now?" You're patient for the first few minutes but that starts to wain as the cold becomes almost painful against your skin.
"Yeah, sweet girl, we can cuddle now...think you've earned it," Quinn throws the melting ice into the bathroom sink, hand trailing down to grip yours to tug you back to the bedroom.
He helps you change into comfy clothes before tugging you down into the bedcovers with him. You breathe a sigh of relief as you curl into his side, face pressed into the warm crook of his neck, leg slung over his waist. Quinn rests a hand on your thigh, pulling your leg tighter against him while his other hand finds its way into your hair, scratching gently across your scalp.
"You tired, baby?" You can't help but close your eyes at the way Quinn's fingers curl in your hair and run through each strand, burrowing as deep into his neck as you can as he pulls the covers up and over the top of the two of you to create a cosy little nest of warmth.
"Yeah...really tired..."
"Eventful day, huh?" You nod into his neck in agreement, feeling like your body has been through the mental and emotional wringer. There's the physical discomfort of being punched obviously, but the bigger issue is how emotionally exhausted you feel. Your nervous system having been put through fight or flight, only to have to come crashing down from that adrenaline high.
"You can sleep, baby, it's okay, I'll be here when you wake up..."
"You promise?"
"I promise, 'm not going anywhere." It's his reassurance, the firm but gentle hold on you that helps you fall asleep because you trust him, you believe him. You know that if Quinn says he'll be there when you wake up, then he'll be there.
#teacher reader x quinn#huggy bear writes#quinn hughes/reader#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes#nhl imagine#nhl x reader
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Neve is painless. Rook is real.
Lucanis likes Neve because she represents what he is desperate to regain. He wants to feel normal, to work and cook and focus on the things he used to enjoy (such as they were) before the Ossuary. He wants capital R Romance, right out of a book.
Most importantly, he wants to get rid of Spite. He wants to pretend that he is the man he was...not this abomination.
Without truly knowing her, Lucanis believes Neve is a pathway to all of that. He's attracted to her, and she to him. Their flirting has an edge, but it's also friendly. She dislikes Spite, and her presence makes Spite disappear.
Neve will tell Lucanis that he's still himself, and that Spite doesn't change that. She will never be the one to reconcile Lucanis with Spite, to get them to accept each other. So, yeah, he gravitates to the charming, flirty, warm person who (through no fault of her own, really) feeds his desire to pretend he's not an abomination.
Even early on, I think he's smart enough to know that accepting Spite is his only option, but he...just... can't. With what tools? Nothing in his life has prepared him to deal with this. Rook does that. When denial tears Lucanis apart, Rook puts him back together with acceptance. Rook accepts the reality of Spite, and deals with it head-on every time.
Neve will remind Lucanis that she's not going anywhere. She'll tell him to open his eyes and look at facts, but she (probably) won't be the one to push him out of his own prison. Lucanis knows this, so Spite knows this, and therefore Spite will not look to Neve for help.
It's important for Lucanis to accept that Spite has changed him. But when it's Rook who says it--for whom Lucanis has developed real feelings, not idealized ones--well, it destroys the fantasy Lucanis clings to so vehemently, the one where he isn't this.
For me, the Lucanis/Rook romance feels the way it does NOT because the writers "preferred" that Lucanis and Neve get together, but because Neve is simply easier for Lucanis to accept. She's easier to talk to, unchallenging. Easy isn't bad! Comfort isn't bad! God knows they both deserve some comfort.
Loving Rook is a profoundly complex choice. There's not a lot of cute ways to work that profundity into sexy banter. It makes sense, then, that Lucanis doesn't have as much dialogue for a romanced Rook as he does with Neve. What he can do is cook, make small gestures. He can, heartbreakingly, tell Rook, over and over, that he doesn't have the words to express how he feels. That's such an awful state, knowing that the person you care about needs to hear words you simply cannot locate. As soon as he does have the words, he shares them.
Rook is real. And real is not easy.
To Lucanis, Rook represents a difficult path to recovery, a path he has to keep choosing to follow, every day. At a time in his life where he is incapable of seeing Spite (and his own PTSD ) as anything but a 'distraction' to shove aside, Rook shows genuine interest in helping Lucanis heal. Rook takes consistent action toward that goal, particularly when it's clear that Lucanis doesn't know how.
Lucanis also has to believe that he's worth the effort, his own and his love's. Neve is great, love her, but I don't see this struggling cynic, this chronic worrier, being very helpful in the self-worth department. No, people in a relationship do not have to perform therapeutic roles. But, partners do have to respect each others' boundaries and needs.
Of course Lucanis goes all-in for Neve, romantically, even while he and Rook are dancing around each other. Accepting how much he loves and cares for Rook means looking at himself the way Rook does. That is so much harder than whatever will happen with Neve.
The fact that Lucanis isn't afraid to pursue Neve, even if Treviso is blighted, tells me that Neve is an indulgence for him. Again, that's not a value judgement. If they treat each other with respect, then the merits of the relationship don't have to fall on whether Lucanis 'heals' as a result. Sometimes not hurting all the time is enough.
BUT. Contrast the ease he feels with Neve with his feelings about Rook:
"When I was afraid to want you..."
That is a powerful admission.
What was he afraid of? The annihilation of neglect, worthlessness, and shame. The awful but knowable pillars of his existence.
Wanting Rook means that Lucanis wants to dismantle everything he knows in pursuit of something he doesn't. To love Rook is to love and accept himself, exactly as he is.
Then...then...Lucanis finds real comfort.
#datv#lucanis dellamorte#neve gallus#datv spoilers#i have a lot of feelings about my own shitty reactions to the neve/lucanis romance. and approaching it this way has helped. A LOT.
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Imagine, I kept thinking about a Kamisato Ayato in a modern day AU in which him and the reader were going through a divorce because things are not going the way it was supposed to be and the marriage is just not working out anymore. When suddenly, suddenly he had an amnesia.
Imagine instead of his mistress, it was you whom he kept looking for, demanding to see upon waking up after the accident. Leaving his mistress baffled and confused just as you are upon arriving at the hospital, hoping that little shitty of a husband dead only to find him demanding and desperately looking for you in the midst of this messy and chaotic moment.
"Anata." His voice soften in contrast to his shouts earlier before you enter the room, doctors, nurses and his mistress all inside. "Anata." He called out again but you just stood there as he desperately tried to call your attention. "Anata, who are these people inside the room? What's happening?" He called out and question you, you knew he was calling you because he was looking at you, not anyone but you. Which is pretty funny because he haven't called you that for years, ever since the marriage started falling apart.
"He must have hit his head pretty hard Doc." You spoke nonchalantly, not in the mood to deal with all this bullshit. "It's been years since he called me like that. Can someone explain to me what's happening with my husband?" "Husband? Then who-?" "His mistress." You replied. "As I'm saying- asking rather, can someone explain to me what happened to this guy over here?" "... Very well, Mr. Kamisato over here is involved in a car accident and had brain concussion. As we can see..."
Imagine walking into the room, not that you want to. But upon walking into the room, you are quite surprised to find him alone in there. You were quite expected him to have his mistress with him but turns out that was not the case. "Who's that?" "Who's who?" "That person who was here earlier calling me her lover." "Oh. Well she is exactly who she said she was, she's your lover." You answered, sitting on the sofa inside the private room. Looking away and pulling your phone to check out your notifications. Because goddammit, how dare he look so hurt by those words?
"She what-? Why? Tell me you're joking." You have never seen him look so confused before. Looking back and forth to the notifications on your phone and to the man right in front of you. You sigh, causing him to flinch. "The doctor told me you can be dismissed in two days because you're still under observation. And while you're current suffering from amnesia, they said there was still a possibility of you regaining your memories so don't treat her pretty harshly. I know it could be confusing at first but you'll het over it." You explain and then stood up, "Then, I'll get going now."
Imagine glancing at him only to see him look so broken, like he was waiting, begging for someone to wake him from his dream, from his nightmare. You look away, it's not like it hurts to see him like that. It stopped hurting years ago. Nevertheless, once again you sigh. "Anata-" "I can't have children." "It doesn't matter-" "Well it does now, Ayato." You smile softly at him. "And that explains everything." You added before turning your back at him and walking towards the door. "Oh right, please sign the divorce paper. You wouldn't want your future child to be labelled illegitimate, no?"
Imagine hearing him call out- scream after you but you just kept walking without looking back. You ignore his cries and call with all your might, and walking past the corridor, "Go on, comfort him." You said as you walked pass the woman. "I'm sorry." She said, sounding like she was about to cry and you couldn't help but to smile a little, "No, I'm sorry." You replied as you continue to walk your way out of the hospital.
Imagine going inside the car, your cachuffere already waiting for you inside. And in the middle of the ride, "Want to smoke?" "Nahh" You declined as you look at the city lights. "Are you sure you wouldn't regret this?" "What are you talking about." You chuckle. "He might remember everything one day." "He won't. And even if he did, he wouldn't be able to do anything by then." You answered. "He would hate you." "Then much better." You replied.
"Is it?" "Hmm?" "For the better?" Well in comparison to the amount of suffering he has to go through cause by his elders just because he has yet to produce a heir to the clan, questioning and criticising his title as the chairman and chief of the Kamisato clan, it would be much better to get rid of his one of only flaw. His spouse that couldn't give him a heir. Closing your eyes, this is nothing, "Yeah, for the better." I'm sorry, my love.
[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2025°
: I'm getting a hang of this crocheshit. Ily may pasok na ko bukas yawa ayoko na pumasok. Also, this imagine escalated real quick like no sht. I was writing this for fluff but???
#dark night hero#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact fanfic#genshin angst#genshin drabbles#genshin fanfic#ayato angst#ayato imagines#ayato x you#ayato x reader#ayato kamisato x reader#kamisato ayato x reader#kamisato ayato#genshin ayato#kamisato ayato angst#kamisato ayato x you#hatdog#awwwwww
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