#and if you just get thru it it will be over and you can feel next time
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1 thru 6 for the slay the princess ask game!
(Explore) What's your favorite Chapter?
I HAVE to say Chapter 3: The Princess and the Dragon. what can I say, I think The Long Quiet is big sexy and we don’t get to look at him full-on anywhere else!!
(Explore) If you have a least favorite Chapter, then how would you go about changing it?
Chapter 2: The Nightmare for sure. It just feels… not scary! And I’m a huge weenie so that’s saying something! It needed more buildup. I didn’t feel really threatened, even despite the best efforts of VotParanoid’s delivery when the Nightmare got too close. Maybe it takes longer for the Nightmare to jump you if you walk around a bit in the maze. (Then again, I’m sure Black Tabby made it the length it was for a reason so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
(Explore) Who's your favorite Vessel?
Honestly? Damsel, possibly. First Vessel I got in the very first demo, for one thing! The skin of the construct feels particularly close, with her. She doesn’t want to hurt The Long Quiet, so — in concert with his actions — she becomes something that can’t hurt him. Her route is genuinely unsettling. (Shout-out to Smitten for selling the creepy, lmao.)
(Explore) If you have a least favorite Vessel, then what do you think would make you like her?
Do I have a least favorite? Hmmm… I mean I don’t vibe with the Tower but that’s just because I want to be the dommy mommy, I don’t think that’s a problem with her.
(Explore) Who's your favorite Voice?
HERO!!! HERO HERO HEROOOOO, MY BELOVED!!! The worst thing you ever did was respect the decider’s choices too much. Mwah mwah mwah.
(Explore) If you have a least favorite Voice, then what do you think could make you like him?
Broken, but specifically in his own route. Idk I think if he was more overtly needy it might be more compelling. I get that he’s the part of TLQ that doesn’t want to be hurt anymore, but c’mon dude.
(Even so, I love how the Voices are all parts of a whole personality, I love how they’re both reflections of the player/TLQ and shards of the Narrator/Echo. The Narrator can control TLQ in chapter 1, but after that, the Voices take over. It’s such a great ludonarrative integration.)
(Slay the Princess ask meme)
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“Umaasa”
sypnosis; I searched our place — our home , yet you weren't there , how can I heal a wound made by love?
cw; angst , crush , sad , tears , guilt , freindship falling out, umaasa is a Filipino word that means something like believing, expecting , google it for a more deeper understanding , reconciliation
Now playing; “Umaasa” By Caelin
Manon has been your friend for god knows how long , you moved to Switzerland at a very young age due to some family issues and the very first person you met was her
she was kind , smart and funny — she never failed to make you laugh — she loved painting and most times you two would paint together or just admire the mountains of Switzerland
—✧˖*°࿐
"i know" Manon says dragging out the word
"yeah it's like so stupid — anyways you did the math assignment?" you ask
"no...." Manon replies guilty
"i knew it , heres my notebook give it back before third period okay?" you said handing over your math notebook before walking to the canteen to buy some overpriced chips
you came back to Manon with her favorite soda and some babybel cheese
"aww thanks" she said as an infectious grin spreads on her face
you softly grin back and nod
"anyways—did you see Lara today" Manon ask — yes you were very jelous I mean why Lara? , yes she's perfect but it hurts you
"oh uhm i haven't" you reply your voice quickly changed which didn't go unnoticed to the older
"what's wrong — c'mon don't tell me you don't like Lara too , shes much more better than you know who" Manon reasons out her voice fades out as all you can hear is blah blah blah
"yeah whatever — besides I have to go to class already" you said taking your notebook and walking to your classroom
—✧˖*°࿐
you never really knew why Manon was so drawn in my Lara
she was pretty
smart
and very popular
but despite the point you didn't see why , buzzed by your thoughts you fail to notice the bell ring and it's officially lunch time
"fuck" you gasp as you run out of the classroom remembering your hang out with Megan And Daniela
as you run thru tight corridors and some smelly students you stop dead in your tracks
Manon was with...Lara
against your better judgement you stayed and stared at them anyways , they laughed and got closer as time progressed
why can't it be you?
your last string was when Manon invited Lara to an hang out you made
"fuck this" you whisper , running to Megan and Danielas dorm
—✧˖*°࿐
"I think they're cute" Megan says
"yeah , I mean Manon is like a nerd and Lara's a social butterfly" the latina follows
your frown deepens I mean even your friends think they match , they click like a puzzle piece
"hey why?" Megan says noticing your reaction
"nothing" you replied shortly
"are you guys coming later , at Manon's house?" you ask , you needed atleast friends there you can't bear seeing Manon and Lara together
"yeah , actually it's already 4pm we should get going" Daniela follows looking at her wrist watch "okay then" Megan said afterwards
—✧˖*°࿐
nothing new was happening in the hang out really , just a bunch of eating and screaming over what to watch on the television
"no twilight!" Manon defends
"but we already watched that—9 times! , come on just this once" Sophia pleads
"finee" Manon sighs defeated , it is true that you all already watched twilight more than you can count
the doorbell rings , and in steps Lara how. great. you thought to yourself , the girls gave Manon a knowing look and giggles erupted
maybe you were the problem why can't you be happy for her
were you being selfish?
"damnnn okay Manon" Daniela says , winking at Manon
"hey you might scare her off , come in" Sophia says letting Lara in , she sat next to Manon well atleast when you left the sofa that is
—✧˖*°࿐
the rest of the day you just didn't feel like yourself , you were disassociated
"hey" Yoonchae greets as she sits next to you in the kitchen
"hii Yoon" you respond giving her a smile
"why aren't you out there ,were having fun!" the younger reasons
"jus' not feeling myself, you go back if you need anything just call me okay?" you said trying to brush her off
"that's not true" yoonchae pouts and crosses her arms
"please come outside—i want you to have fun too!" yoonchae follows
inevitably you agree since who can say no to yoonchae , not you
"finally!" Megan says out loud when she saw you go out
"we missed you!" Sophia jokes
"sorry" you apologize earning you nods of understanding
who found it most suspicious was Manon , you weren't like this at all , she noticed how you look like a defeated puppy just sitting there playing with your shirt
—✧˖*°࿐
7:00 pm
"guys I have to go" Lara says looking at the clock on her phone
the other girls try to make her stay but to no avail Lara had to leave
"see you again soon!" Megan says before Lara disappears behind the door
so instead of saying you were leaving you tried sneaking off when the others were busy cooking and watching movies
"ahem"
you hear someone behind you as you open the door
"I need to uhm- buy something - yeah" nope not working
Manon crosses her hands on her chest , having a questioning look on her face
"oh really?" she ask sarcastically
"okay you got me"
"why are you so distant recently, i feel like I did something to make that happen" The older frowns
"hey no you didn't do anything, i just—dont want to ruin what's perfect you know?" you replied not thinking about what she might think
"what do you mean?" she ask , her gears turning and trying to solve what you meant
"Manon I like you, I know you don't feel the same and for the longest time I tried hiding this feeling but it's so strong" you blurt out , you couldn't look at her at all , your eyes were glued to your hands which wee currently holding onto your phone
"you don't need to say anything I'll just go" you follow walking out , as Manon stood there in shock
—✧˖*°࿐
you tried everything crying, avoiding them , even as far as blocking them on your socials but nothing worked every time you breathe all you see is Manon
you haven't talked to anyone in a week , you ignored every calling out they tried
"y/n! wait up!" you hear someone behind you , you try to walk faster but eventually they caught up
"why have you been ignoring us?" Daniela says her chest heaving from running "this isn't even funny anymore" she follows
"I'm sorry just busy I guess" you shrugged hoping she would stop asking questions
"Megan heard what you told Manon last Friday , we know y/n—avoiding us will just make it weirder please talk to us" the latina begs , so they heard? , you couldn't even be mad at them cause thinking about it ignoring them was too much even for you
"I'm sorry — where are the others?" you ask , thinking about apologizing to each and every single one of them
"come" Daniela says holding your hand and running towards the arts room
—✧˖*°࿐
in the room was yoonchae who was drawing with Sophia
Megan who was on her phone probably watching tiktoks
and Manon just sitting there
"hey guys" the latina announced
everyone looks and was surprised to see you , they ran up to you hugging you telling you how much they miss you
"chill guys" you chuckle
"we missed you" yoonchae pouts and you hug her
"sorryy! , to make it up let's go to the mall I'll treat you guys" you said
"I'm busy" Manon buzzed , you were hurt but whatever
"oh. uhm okay , how about you guys?"
"I'm good " the others said
everything was weird Manon started ignoring you too , and partially it was your fault but was it really? when all you wanted was her to feel happy?
—✧˖*°࿐
"oh hey" you bump into Manon as you were buying some iced coffee
"hey , can we maybe talk?" Manon asks
you weren't ready and obviously she wasn't too but against your judgement you agreed, needing closure
"I'm sorry if I avoided you , I know how you feel about me and you know how I feel" Manon starts
"and I don't want us to drift because of that—i hope you don't hold any grudge against me and any of the girls" she follows with a smile on her face
"I'm sorry too , i wish you the best obviously, you know I can't leave you" you giggle
as stupid as it sounds you still stayed and befriend her , you loved Manon but if god didn't destined you two why force it? , surely there are other people who would love you the same way you loved Manon but until then your still waiting for the time you find that person.
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HEY GUYS REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE WANTED MAX TO BE THE LAST THING SHE EVER SAW BEFORE DYING. BTW GUYS. REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE SAID “i’m never leaving you” AND “that’s okay we will, forever” AND “Max, i’ll always be with you”. GUYS GUYS GUYS HOLD ON REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE SPENT YEARS TALKING TO MAX IN HER DIARY BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T LET HER GO GUYS. AND WHEN SHE TOOK MAX BACK IN A HEARTBEAT BECAUSE SHE MISSED HER TOO MUCH. OH AND BTW REMEMBER HOW THEY WERE CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS AND GREW UP TOGETHER AND FELL IN LOVE AND ARE NOT LINKED ONLY BY A ‘trauma bond’. DO WE REMEMBER THAT. COLLECTIVELY.
#life is strange#lis#max caulfield#chloe price#pricefield#feeling like being mad today sorry#it’s just. you just don’t get them.#“max and chloe share a trauma bond” actually they didn’t bond over their trauma. btw#like they’re each other’s first ever friend#first ever best friend#first ever LOVE. (arguably)#like YES. it would make sense if they had only gotten close because they went thru the same trauma together#BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED.#and i need ppl to stop acting like it is#like how can you look at their relationship and not understand how DEEP it goes and just reduces it to#“they’re traumatized so it makes sense that they’d grow apart also chloe was a bad friend”#like just stop. you do not get it. gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.#ANYWAY I’M RAMBLING#life is strange double exposure spoilers
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Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.
#my dc posting#dc#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#looking thru ur kids phone tracking them giving them no privacy etc etc is deeply damaging#but yall aint ready for the ''stalking is their love language' is super toxic' conversation </3#also can we retire the JL being completely chill about it. 'batman just knows things' not being bothered their secret identities were found#out etc can we. stop coddling the batfam#i just need someone anytime to please just call them out like 'hey dont fucking surveil me' like that is actually extremely unethical#and its frankly not hard to write a batman who doesnt invade his kids privacy n boundaries etc#controversially when reading fic where theyre supposed to be healthy n getting along i want to actually feel like its deserved n good for t#hem#instead of sitting there going 'woo thats toxic' 'oh that even worse' 'why are we passing over all that'. like i dont wanna be thinkin they#should go no-contact when its supposed to be fuffy n good :(#like if you can write away the hitting n other abuse why is this the one thing that just must always stay#like genuinely it aint hard to write a parent not stalking their children. actually maybe i should remind you all that stalking is not good#or funny#like i feel like w all the joking some of us are actually forgetting its not good. ever. like absolutely never dont stalk ppl#eh idk. this is why i cant stay in any one fandom too long bc i start developing Opinions which inevitably make me hostile to like#90% of the fandom's content 😔
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ummmmmmm guys this dungeons looking a little dark here..........................ummmm..... hello??? guys??
#quirinahdraws#darkest dungeon#darkest dungeon 2#IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES SO I NEED 2 POST MY EARLY APRIL DRAWINGS FROM WHEN I WAS (am) PLAYING THIS GAME TERMINALLY....#try to guess my favorite character (very difficult impossible /j)#notable moments include reynauld and dismas kicking the bucket in my first year to which i thought after the latter. ok at least theyre#together in death or watever. anyways i got a beyond the grave a week later with both of them and i could only revive one of them and my#first thought was wow! this would make great angst fodder! i should make a comic (and then i didnt)#but dismas is dead so i can never get the achievement but he basically carried me thru vvulf bc i didnt have any legend lvl frontliners and#i didnt know u could just sacrifice a hero to retreat. or that you had to destroy the bomb barrel HAHAHAHAH but we defeated vvulf SOMEHOW#sketchdump#digital#dd plague doctor#dd jester#dd shieldbreaker#dd arbalest#dd abomination#SORRY FOR YAOIFYING BIGBY THAT BADLY IDK WHAT HAPPENED...ETTO.......#my favorite builds are damage over time <3 number one blight buddy supporter#but marked for death r also my pookies....i just find marked builds a little awkward to use imo. but bh is like my blorbo#i find it funny drawing any of the charas bc i feel like i always draw characters a little too cutesy/colorful but its shrimpresting
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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#hot take that doesnt feel that 'hot' if ur kid is going thru one of the most traumatic experiences of their lives#and having to do it TOTALLY alone despite it not at all being a one person job#but thats just circumstance and how the cookie crumbled#and then you offer to come pick them up and drive them home for a week of help and relaxation once the experience is over since that's#all you can offer at the time#its. kinda a fucked up move to then back out when the time comes for said promised r&r#esp when u dont seem to understand [or maybe worse yet you Do but don't care] that ur child CLUNG to and FANTASIZED abt the relief that was#on the horizon for WEEKS of HELL. like 'just a little longer and then I will finally have some help.'#'just a little longer and then I can rest'#'just a few more days and then I can lay low and recoup some expenses and have meals I don't have to solely cook whilst also rehabbing a#sick dog and trying to maintain a home whilst also working full time'#only to get to 'the day' and get a 'its not going to work out after all sorry....we are just so Busy prepping for our travel abroad next#month you know? it would be too Stressful to have a third person in the house'#YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABT STRESS RIGHT NOW????? BE SO FOR REAL----#like if u werent free fine. u dont owe me shit im grown. BUT2 PROMISE IT AND REAFFIRM IT TIME AFTER TIME AND THEN BACK OUT IN THE 11TH HOUR#SERIOUSLY???#I love them but this. fucking Hurts. and I had to pretend it Didnt so as to not make a scene
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thinking about cinderlion kits and how hollytufts reaction to flywhisker and snaptooth leaving to become kittypets was to aggressively call them traitors
#i speaku#rotating these six guys in my brain#i know i said i wish cinderlion had way smaller litters and i still feel the same way now but i can still think about them#w a dynamic of having drifted apart due to the shit theyve been going thru as well as the distance bet the two litters bc of age and stuff#nd spotfur feeling so ostracized from her fam bc of 'gestures at everything'#im ngl the first lotter really genuinely are kinda just there 😭#litter*#i wonder if you couldbe just made them be one singular cat and it wouldve worked better#thats an interesting dynamic i think... a one kitten litter being excited over the prospect of having siblings when cinder n lion announce#the news and getting devastated when two of the second litter decide to leave#maybe they n spotfur couldve beeb close once but the hypothetical only child just xouldnt get rid of those feelings of betrayal and anger#that their sibs left just grew very distant bc of that#i like sibling dynamics have i mentioned that yet
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at the end of the day despite having a sibling, the vast majority of sentiments on this site about siblingship in both fiction and real life are deeply unrelatable to me and I study them like a bug
#mainly the sort of sentiments around ''you wanna kill your sibling but you love them anyways'' which i often just can't divorce#from the thinly veiled abusive behaviors that were encouraged in us as kids#but also the deep connection that one is supposedly supposed to gain from going thru family hardships together or something#I feel like there's no immutable blood bond that can get over the hurdle of just never really having connected as people#''immutable blood bond'' in quotes btw. that shit isn't real
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NOW I HEAR YOUR VOICE EVERYTIME THAT I THINK I’M NOT ENOUGH
#but literally like#that’s exactly what happens now#AND I FANTASIZE ABOUT A TIME YOU’RE A LITTLE FUCKING SORRY#LIKE???? is there NO guilt?!?! i have to live with the grief and you get to be fucking happy#‘i deserved to move on’ ‘you think it was easy to move on’ IDGAF you still moved on??????#YOU ONCE CALLED ME FOREVER NOW YOU STILL CAN’T CALL ME BACK#the FUCK happened to loving me always????????? through thick and thin???? i never stopped fucking loving you despite what i was going thru!!#all i feel now is fucking shame and disgust for myself because didn’t i fucking say?????? didn’t i fucking say you were gonna leave me again#and you swore you never would again!! then wtf happened!!!#you couldn’t handle my trust issues with you and i just know you hated me for not getting over them#i literally can never trust anyone ever again i am never trusting anybody with my fucking heart again EVER i can’t do it anymore#AND I JUST CANT IMAGINE HOW YOU COULD BE SO OKAY NOW THAT IM GONE#literally you’re fucking okay and in fucking LOVE with SOMEONE ELSE i am literally fucking NOTHING to you anymore#you always have and will ALWAYS find love in and with someone else and i never will again#the possibility of being with someone again literally disgusts me i am not doing it ever again#‘you’ll find someone else eventually’ i am NOT like YOU who always finds someone else i literally have NEVER found anyone else since you#i am literally and have never been enough and you don’t care#v#belle speaks
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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court
#im joking#i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture#and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure#i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th#story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get#that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel#like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty#so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then#i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why#idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens#but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes#smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can#be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn#yapping#oc talk
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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got the posting anxiety bad tonight
#click clack#ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go#ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog#BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me#because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art#like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public#and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot#a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement…#so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury#the original posts I put here#but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication#my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged 😵💫#all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen#dumb mind problems my head made up 🙄#anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍#I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post… i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself#and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences#maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog…#I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocs…🤔#idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art#just a slow drip until they are in the forefront#bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( º＿º )#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row… I have curator disease??? 🫨#or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out#I still do to a lesser degree… but it used to be pretty bad#post order compulsion????#the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts…#if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃
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