#and if you just get thru it it will be over and you can feel next time
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strnilolover · 2 days ago
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NNN - chris sturniolo - husband
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You and Chris had been out running errands all day. Going to the store, stopping by his brothers houses, and running to a few places Chris needed to go. By the time you guys were done, you were so hungry.
“Babe?” you questioned, flicking your eyes to him quickly to see if you caught his attention. “Yeah ma?” he replied, turning his head to you as your eyes focused back into the road. “You wanna get burger king? i’m really hungry.” you said, and you could see his head nod out of the corner of your eye.
“Yeah, let’s get some food. I’ll pay, okay?” he said, and you smiled — driving the car into the direction of the fast food joint.
You pulled into the Burger King drive-thru, stomach growling as you rolled down the window and pulled up to the speaker. Chris sat in the passenger seat, scrolling aimlessly on his phone. He looked so relaxed, leaning back with his hoodie pulled snug over his head, and you couldn’t help but smile at him for a moment before focusing back on the speaker.
The worker’s voice crackled through. “Welcome to Burger King! What can I get for you today?”
You leaned over, making sure you were close enough to the speaker for them to hear you — you placed your order first, your voice steady and casual. “Hi, uh — can I get a medium fry, a chicken sandwich, and a Sprite?” You paused momentarily, turning to Chris. “What do you want, babe?” you asked.
Chris glanced up lazily, his lips quirking into a small grin. “A Whopper with cheese and a large Coke since they don’t have Pepsi, please.” he said, pulling his wallet out of his pocket fishing for his card.
You nodded, turning back to the speaker. “And my husband will have a Whopper with cheese and a large Coke.” you said with a grin tugging at your lips.
The words had slipped out so naturally, you didn’t even realize what you had said until you heard Chris’s sharp intake of breath.
“Your what?” he asked, his voice soft but surprised. You glanced over at him, biting your lip to suppress a smile. “My husband,” you said again, your tone playful but a little shy.
Chris blinked at you for a moment, his face splitting into a soft, lopsided grin. “Well, then
 my wife better be sharing her fries.” and you laughed, feeling a warm flutter in your chest. “Is that so?” you teased, quirking a brow at him.
“Absolutely,” he said, his voice a little lower now, the teasing edge giving way to something softer. “If you’re gonna call me your husband, I get fry privileges.” you hummed, pulling the car up to the window and taking Chris’ card — exchanging things until you had the food and Chris’ card back.
When the worker handed over your food — you passed Chris his bag, his fingers brushed against yours. He held your hand for a moment, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“You know,” he murmured as you put the car in drive and drove away, his voice tender now, “I could get used to that.” he said softly.
Your eyes widened slightly. “Get used to what?” you asked, your cheeks flushing slightly as you glanced over at him.
“Hearing you call me your husband,” he admitted, his gaze steady on your face as your eyes stayed focused on the road in front of you.
Your heart swelled at his words, and you couldn’t stop the smile spreading across your face. “Well, I could get used to you calling me your wife.” you said, matter of factly.
Chris chuckled, his hand finding yours again and holding it tightly — the wheel now only having one hand on it. “Deal, wife.” Then, his grin turned mischievous as he added, “Guess I’ll just have to put a ring on your finger soon, huh?”
Your cheeks turned crimson as you glanced at him, half laughing, half speechless. “Chris!”
“What?” he said, feigning innocence but clearly loving the effect he had on you. “You started it!”
You shook your head, trying to hide your smile, but the warmth in your chest wouldn’t fade. “You’re impossible.”
“And you love it,” he teased, leaning back with a satisfied grin.
You rolled your eyes, but you knew he was right.
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© strnilolover
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I HOPE EVERYONES PARTNER ACTS LIKE THIS IF THEY DID THAT CAUSE HELLO?
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deafeningfanlight23 · 2 days ago
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SOLAR AND RUIN HEADCANONS THAT ARE LONGER THAN THE BIBLE! :D
IMPORTANT: I CALL RUIN/JIGSAW DOLUS BTW SO DON'T BE CONFUSED- QWQ
Solar:
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(I SWEAR IT LOOKS BETTER IN REAL LIFE TRUST ME THE QUALITY OF MY HANDY IS JUST STRAIGHT FROM THE 99 CENT STORE- 😭🙏)
Solar is Romanian (WHERE MY ROMANIAN PEOPLE AT? >:D And don't question the logic of my headcanons MY HEADCANONS, MY RULES >:D). Solar can speak fluently German, Romanian of course, and a bit of French and Portuguese.
Solar is gender-apathetic and could care LESS about gender and pronouns. Solar still dresses more masculine though because he simply likes it.
He's gay and somewhere on the ace-spectrum :D (HE'S OUR ICON I TELL U 💅)
Solar has chronic migraines and backpain and they just get worsened by his AWFUL posture habits. He always takes medications for those, otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to function properly in life. Sometimes, however, he overuses them and goes overboard. Sometimes TOO much overboard. (I SWEAR TO Y'ALL IF YOU QUESTION THE LOGIC OF THE MEDICATION THINGY I'M GONNA MAKE YOU EXPLODE LIKE LUNAR 😃)
His rays aren’t usable anymore. They are fully broken, and two tips of the seven couldn’t be patched up, while the two others were able to be a bit restored by fixing the ends through another, mismatched metal. HIS Moon used to always grab and tug at them as punishment, and unconsciously, he sometimes repeats those actions inflicted upon him by lightly pulling at them when he is stressed or dissociating. He doesn’t allow anyone to touch his rays. NO ONE. (... OUR TRAUMATIZED QUEEN 💃✹ BUT LIKE HE GOING THRU IT FR 😭🙏)
He is an insomniac and a workaholic with a non-existent sleep schedule. He’s got no free time to rewind and relax and doesn’t ALLOW himself to do so, only fueled by coffee and medication.
However, he finds comfort in Dolus (AKA RUIN) and whenever he spends all of his time to hang out with him. He loves those musical numbers Dolus always persuades him into, and although he looks like he is annoyed at first, it’s a big joy for him.
Apropos Dolus, Dolus gifted him a shark keychain which is now securely hanging from Solar’s belt every day. (See picture above :D) Solar uses this as a stress toy because its soft, squishy texture and wool underneath makes it perfect for it.
He often vapes when no one's looking. That's why his voice is so raspy (and from the screaming)
Dolus (aka Ruin/Jigsaw):
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DOLUS IS BRITISH, MATE, NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE, MIC DROP 👏 He can only speak English in a British accent and the most broken French known to mankind.
He is genderfluid and sometimes feels like a man and sometimes just non-binary :D His preferred pronouns are he/they.
He is Achillean and somewhere on the ace-spectrum too!
Dolus has a passion for musicals and the theatre. He knows every song of the Hamilton Musical in and out and has watched “The Greatest Showman” over a dozen of times and loves EVERY song of it. Every day, one can catch him humming a song from his favorite musical and dancing a bit to them. In addition, he LOVES to perform those musicals, and he involves Solar in them. Basically: He is a theater kid.
He also has a REALLY big obsession with sharks and even has a full-body shark suit for sleeping and a few shark plushies, which is why he loves the nickname “Sharky” so much.
A big scar is stretched across his face and covers up his right eye, coming from a fire incident where he was trapped underneath ashes, flames and wood. His right eye is still usable, but not as strong as his left in terms of eyesight.
He also has weak joints and can’t endure any sort of pressure for a long time, which is why he has to take sitting and laying breaks and has to do some physical exercises. It's annoying and prevents him from doing some things, but this won't stop him doing things he LOVES. He can’t run properly because of this, walk for a long time and stand more than necessary. Solar sometimes helps Dolus sit when Dolus needs a sitting break or helps him walk when there's no other option. Dolus feels bad about that.
He doesn’t like travel and moving vehicles, as well as bright lights.
THANKS FOR LISTENING, TUNG (=Bye)! :D
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whatsjulietslastname · 25 days ago
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HEY GUYS REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE WANTED MAX TO BE THE LAST THING SHE EVER SAW BEFORE DYING. BTW GUYS. REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE SAID “i’m never leaving you” AND “that’s okay we will, forever” AND “Max, i’ll always be with you”. GUYS GUYS GUYS HOLD ON REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE SPENT YEARS TALKING TO MAX IN HER DIARY BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T LET HER GO GUYS. AND WHEN SHE TOOK MAX BACK IN A HEARTBEAT BECAUSE SHE MISSED HER TOO MUCH. OH AND BTW REMEMBER HOW THEY WERE CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS AND GREW UP TOGETHER AND FELL IN LOVE AND ARE NOT LINKED ONLY BY A ‘trauma bond’. DO WE REMEMBER THAT. COLLECTIVELY.
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dukeofthomas · 5 months ago
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Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.
#my dc posting#dc#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#looking thru ur kids phone tracking them giving them no privacy etc etc is deeply damaging#but yall aint ready for the ''stalking is their love language' is super toxic' conversation </3#also can we retire the JL being completely chill about it. 'batman just knows things' not being bothered their secret identities were found#out etc can we. stop coddling the batfam#i just need someone anytime to please just call them out like 'hey dont fucking surveil me' like that is actually extremely unethical#and its frankly not hard to write a batman who doesnt invade his kids privacy n boundaries etc#controversially when reading fic where theyre supposed to be healthy n getting along i want to actually feel like its deserved n good for t#hem#instead of sitting there going 'woo thats toxic' 'oh that even worse' 'why are we passing over all that'. like i dont wanna be thinkin they#should go no-contact when its supposed to be fuffy n good :(#like if you can write away the hitting n other abuse why is this the one thing that just must always stay#like genuinely it aint hard to write a parent not stalking their children. actually maybe i should remind you all that stalking is not good#or funny#like i feel like w all the joking some of us are actually forgetting its not good. ever. like absolutely never dont stalk ppl#eh idk. this is why i cant stay in any one fandom too long bc i start developing Opinions which inevitably make me hostile to like#90% of the fandom's content 😔
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quirinah · 7 months ago
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ummmmmmm guys this dungeons looking a little dark here..........................ummmm..... hello??? guys??
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volfoss · 4 months ago
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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batsinurbelfrey · 2 months ago
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#hot take that doesnt feel that 'hot' if ur kid is going thru one of the most traumatic experiences of their lives#and having to do it TOTALLY alone despite it not at all being a one person job#but thats just circumstance and how the cookie crumbled#and then you offer to come pick them up and drive them home for a week of help and relaxation once the experience is over since that's#all you can offer at the time#its. kinda a fucked up move to then back out when the time comes for said promised r&r#esp when u dont seem to understand [or maybe worse yet you Do but don't care] that ur child CLUNG to and FANTASIZED abt the relief that was#on the horizon for WEEKS of HELL. like 'just a little longer and then I will finally have some help.'#'just a little longer and then I can rest'#'just a few more days and then I can lay low and recoup some expenses and have meals I don't have to solely cook whilst also rehabbing a#sick dog and trying to maintain a home whilst also working full time'#only to get to 'the day' and get a 'its not going to work out after all sorry....we are just so Busy prepping for our travel abroad next#month you know? it would be too Stressful to have a third person in the house'#YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABT STRESS RIGHT NOW????? BE SO FOR REAL----#like if u werent free fine. u dont owe me shit im grown. BUT2 PROMISE IT AND REAFFIRM IT TIME AFTER TIME AND THEN BACK OUT IN THE 11TH HOUR#SERIOUSLY???#I love them but this. fucking Hurts. and I had to pretend it Didnt so as to not make a scene
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girlthativealwaysbeen · 15 days ago
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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skrs-cats · 8 months ago
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thinking about cinderlion kits and how hollytufts reaction to flywhisker and snaptooth leaving to become kittypets was to aggressively call them traitors
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calypsolemon · 5 months ago
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at the end of the day despite having a sibling, the vast majority of sentiments on this site about siblingship in both fiction and real life are deeply unrelatable to me and I study them like a bug
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elliesbelle · 1 year ago
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NOW I HEAR YOUR VOICE EVERYTIME THAT I THINK I’M NOT ENOUGH
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#but literally like#that’s exactly what happens now#AND I FANTASIZE ABOUT A TIME YOU’RE A LITTLE FUCKING SORRY#LIKE???? is there NO guilt?!?! i have to live with the grief and you get to be fucking happy#‘i deserved to move on’ ‘you think it was easy to move on’ IDGAF you still moved on??????#YOU ONCE CALLED ME FOREVER NOW YOU STILL CAN’T CALL ME BACK#the FUCK happened to loving me always????????? through thick and thin???? i never stopped fucking loving you despite what i was going thru!!#all i feel now is fucking shame and disgust for myself because didn’t i fucking say?????? didn’t i fucking say you were gonna leave me again#and you swore you never would again!! then wtf happened!!!#you couldn’t handle my trust issues with you and i just know you hated me for not getting over them#i literally can never trust anyone ever again i am never trusting anybody with my fucking heart again EVER i can’t do it anymore#AND I JUST CANT IMAGINE HOW YOU COULD BE SO OKAY NOW THAT IM GONE#literally you’re fucking okay and in fucking LOVE with SOMEONE ELSE i am literally fucking NOTHING to you anymore#you always have and will ALWAYS find love in and with someone else and i never will again#the possibility of being with someone again literally disgusts me i am not doing it ever again#‘you’ll find someone else eventually’ i am NOT like YOU who always finds someone else i literally have NEVER found anyone else since you#i am literally and have never been enough and you don’t care#v#belle speaks
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puppyeared · 10 months ago
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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court
#im joking#i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture#and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure#i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th#story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get#that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel#like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty#so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then#i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why#idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens#but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes#smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can#be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn#yapping#oc talk
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ayyponine · 4 months ago
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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anxiously-sidequesting · 1 year ago
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that âœšđŸ’…đŸŸđŸ’ƒđŸ•ș Single Lifeℱ. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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milo-is-rambling · 7 months ago
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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eternal-reverie · 7 months ago
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got the posting anxiety bad tonight
#click clack#ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go#ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog#BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me#because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art#like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public#and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot#a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement
#so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury#the original posts I put here#but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication#my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged đŸ˜”â€đŸ’«#all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen#dumb mind problems my head made up 🙄#anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍#I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post
 i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself#and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences#maybe
 [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog
#I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocsâ€ŠđŸ€”#idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art#just a slow drip until they are in the forefront#bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( ÂșïŒżÂș )#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row
 I have curator disease??? đŸ«š#or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out#I still do to a lesser degree
 but it used to be pretty bad#post order compulsion????#the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts
#if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃
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