#to succeed or fail - whichever is more interesting

[starbuck]

okay, just read about my lovers again. feeling calm. 😌

[ipsen]

tokyo ghoul dnd club: the first few days (aka, chapter 1 as a campaign)

brainrot in the discord server has evolved into a tumblr post. working with 5e dnd since that's the ruleset i know (sorry 3.5e)

Context

kaneki and hide are first years (the former likes the storytelling aspect, the latter is a supportive friend)

eto is a senior and the dm

rize also shows up for an interest in the "you can be whatever you want!" part. kaneki gets the Instant Crush

Character Creation

they have pre-gen'd characters to try out the game, and eto sets up a oneshot similar to the tg pilot for them to play. it becomes apparent rize antagonizes both eto and the other players. kaneki doesn't see it, but eto and hide start Scheming to kick her out

the game is fun, though! they start making proper characters at level 1. eto expands on the world of the oneshot, creating the baseline for the TG universe.

kaneki mentions wanting to emulate a gregor samsa-type character and eto works with him on it. eto offers the artificial half-ghoul angle and kaneki gets SO excited about it

hide doesn't want to be too involved in the campaign bc he wants to try out other clubs, so he works with eto to keep his character in situations where he'd be ready to jump in at any point. she gives him additional ccg lore to work with.

rize does not consult with eto after the "man-eating monsters" part of the lore hits her brain. makes her own character.

hide stole a peek at her character sheet and told eto. they set up a trap to kill rize's character

Campaign

hide brings pizza, which becomes a longstanding tradition at the club

after helping kaneki get more into character, hide leaves to try out whichever club had his interest that day, leaving kaneki with eto and rize

the date stuff plays out as normal, with rize being eerily cooperative.

rize: i lead kaneki to a dark alleyway, and i ATTACK HIM kaneki: w-what eto: like, with a knife? rize: no, with my KAGUNE! *reveals her level 3 ghoul character sheet in this level 1 campaign (she got bored reading the features beyond level 4 so she didn't go further)* eto, grinning: oh yeah ok roll attack kaneki: WHAT

fortunately, kaneki built a high intelligence/dexterity character, so rize misses the first attack. eto points out various ways for him to run to goad him into fleeing and he doesnt ask questions. rize's confused given how the disengage action works, but she likes the cat and mouse aspect of this part.

kaneki gets really uncomfortable and steals a glance at eto when rize's having too much fun describing how she's going to tear his character apart. eto just winks at him

eto: rize. rize: what eto: roll a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage rize: why eto: do it

rize fails, and is crushed by steel beams. eto gives a very vivid description of how the beams tear through her ghoul body, which is stuck in a cycle of regenerating and breaking apart anew under the weight. it's an agonizing experience (kaneki listens with bated breath. eto could be a writer, he thinks)

rize: what about kaneki?! he's right next to me, and if he fails he gets instantly killed.

kaneki, in a rare display of luck, succeeds. (eto inwardly sighs with relief). rize rage quits and doesn't come back.

the session ends smoothly with kaneki as an artificial half-ghoul like he wanted. he also loses his Instant Crush on rize after that

hide later gives eto a high five for a job well done

---

would love others' thoughts on this. your blorbo at the table or even as a dm (eto prefers the dm seat, but the player perspective is something she can't deny is valuable)

share share share!

[yoonalgc]

( ��� Hello, everyone! ...What a surprise, right? It's me again... attempting to bring a girl into this world. WIll I succeed? Let's see. It's Sera here to introduce to you my character! She is brand new so I'm expecting her to grow as I write her. I've listed some plots at the bottom but I prefer to do brainstorming. I'm open to plotting in either Tumblr IMs or over Discord, whichever you prefer. Without further ado, please read my rambling. ( I'll have a pinned I'll post later. ) Like this post ♡ and we can plot! )

◡ profile / plots / pinterest / playlist

BACKGROUND !!

Born october 4th, 2001. ( 1004, she asserts reflects her — it is an angel number after all )

Grew up in Gumi which is a smaller city just outside of Daegu.

Parents were high school sweethearts who waited to start a family until he finished his military service and she finished school. Mother was a flight attendant. Father is a former professional choreographer.

Family used to be fairly well off before the drastic change and her mother's medical bills became increasingly more expensive.

They eventually moved to Seoul in 2016 when her father got an opportunity to choreograph for an entertainment company.

Father gave up his career after his wife’s passing in 2019 to attend to a portable convenience stand by the Han River once owned by his own father. Their formerly close relationship grew estranged and tense rather quickly.

Used to be a competitive archer. Failed to make it on the national team multiple times, nevermind the Olympics. Became easily discouraged and decided to quit after an argument with her father. She even threatened to drop out of school unless she could join a company to focus on her dancing.

Before lgc, she joined an entertainment company while in high school only to get scammed into a trainee program and drained of almost all her money via their training debt scheme.

Waited until she graduated to audition for Legacy Entertainment. Somehow, she got in... and from there, she begins to change a bit as a person.

PERSONALITY & MORE !!

Works at an arcade/PC Bang for now. She likes to sneak in a nap in the dinosaur safari VR machine.

She uses the nerf gun and water gun from the prize table to ward off unwanted guests or customers who overstay their welcome. Careful, she has great aim.

Oddly good at fixing things ( to a certain extent ), a trait she picked up from her brother who has a penchant for inventing. Being practical helps quite a bit, though.

She is no stranger to putting on an act to get something for free. a convincing & skilled liar. she even stole someone’s phone once to sell but will never admit this. jokes about needing a glucose guardian but never say never.

Tendency to be flirtatious. offers compliments — sincere & underhanded.

Only actually been in one serious relationship that she considers was worthwhile & lacks the motivation to pursue anything else. Often finds herself leading people on but falls for people easily as she's rather susceptible to romantic gestures, then forces herself to lose interest when things get a little too spicy.

Good listener. Purveyor of gossip. Collects many rumors, rarely spills to anyone. Tell things to her at your own risk. She will hardly speak a word about her own background ( and will even lie sometimes ) but is content to know everything about everyone else.

Has a good sense of humor and able to laugh at herself.

Actually kinda lazy about everything unless it's dancing. She just likes to say she's just laid back.

Speaking of dancing, she is especially into the art of waacking/tutting/vogueing, as she finds the elegant precision to be appealing and especially fun to do.

Very opinionated & can come across judgmental for her willingness to speak her mind, Notorious for reacting with her face ( ie. side eyeing ).

An introvert. Also claims to really hate people but is naturally social despite this.

Often plays a vain character, usually an exaggerated version of herself ( channeling Goddess Gyuri & Mijoo ) — perhaps to compensate for or conceal… something. Part of it being that she enjoys entertaining people with her antics. It is not rare to catch a glimpse at her "real self" but it's hard to even say what that even is.

Calm but when she's memeing and being crazy, she becomes unhinged. Like so.

A bit fickle & indecisive, sometimes allowing her impulses to take control of a decision ... or out of pure spite.

Had a time where she was so desperate for money, that she was willing to lie to get freebies or sympathy discounts. But we don't talk about that time anymore. It was just a phase.

Not malicious by any means but it is easy to interpret her actions as such. She desires attention and love in this aftermath of her life plummeting, and just goes about it in a rather unconventional way.

Hates people who smoke. Her mother's lung cancer being the main cause. If you smoke any substance, prepare for to be side-eyed and judged.

Lastly, she is @lgcxnoeul's weirdo cousin.

CONNECTIONS ??

anyone who comes to the arcade/pc bang. she's almost always there. bonus points if you're a bit of a menace or you want to challenge her to a game. the possibilities with this one are pretty endless!

flirtationships a plenty. applicable to any gender; she certainly does not discriminate. she is the type to unabashedly flirt, compliment people, or make flirtatious jokes. ( however when the heat comes, she usually resorts to aloof behavior and runs away. )

obviously people will be put off by her antics so frenemies and antis alike are welcome! antagonistic or toxic relationships are welcome in general.

gossip friend. what is said between us stays between us ... of other people's rumors, of course. but it's best to be careful who to trust with secrets.

fake friends. speaks for itself. mutually beneficial, forced laughter, eye rolls when the other looks away. she's been entrenched in this fake friend group just for the laughs

an ex. she's only dated one person in a serious way before and it didn't turn out too well... or it ended amicably. who knows? was a rather innocent relationship but it broke her heart. happened shortly after she joined lgc in 2020 or overlapped. discussion is required!!!

that being said, she most likely had a couple flings here and there that lasted a short time. she's prone to running away or getting "bored".

jokingly, she always says she wants a "glucose guardian" and you are the perfect candidate. she constantly convinces you to buy things for her ( mostly bubble tea ) or you might even do so willingly. either way, it makes her happy.

she has a "dark past" ( not so distant... maybe 5 days ago is considered the past ) in which she tried to fleece people out of money just to get by. don't look at her if she might have pretended to fall in front of you for sympathy, too.

this is vague but... people she can assist with dancing in any way or their overall confidence.

people who know her real personality and are tired of her putting on this strange over confident persona.

went to high school together ( Hanlim gang )

for the lgcu event, she is in younggong. i'm still figuring out what she will be doing but i will need one person from there to do a thread with.

[squibbonstan]

Working on a concept for some TTRPG homebrew (probably for the game Carin) where players are able to gain abilities/resources by taking materials off of the monsters they slay.

Think like you kill a dragon and use its liver to make a Potion of Firebreath or maybe a manticore spine can be carved into a drinking horn that purifies poisons.

More details under the cut, and please feel free to give me constructive criticism if this is something you're interested in :)

(Also if you know of any systems or supplements that already have a mechanic like this please lmk)

The two elements I want to incorporate are experimentation and player creativity, but I'm actually kind of struggling to find a middle-ground between the two. The two scenarios I'm thinking of would look something like this:

The players have just slain a hydra. One player invents the idea that maybe its regenerative powers come from the bile inside its gallbladder. The GM thinks this is a reasonable idea and has the player make some sort of a medicine roll. If they succeed, their character was right and they are able to harvest some of the bile. If they fail, their character was wrong and/or something goes wrong in the harvesting (whichever is more narratively interesting). The players later decide to use this bile to make a topical healing potion, which the GM agrees makes sense.

The players have just slain a hydra. They decide to cut into it and look inside. The GM describes the gallbladder in particular as pulsing and glowing green. Thinking this sounds interesting, one of the players grabs it and takes it with them. Then they are able to make some sort of medicine roll / visit a library to learn about the hydra / give the gallbladder to the town doctor to look at it for a small fee. They could even try to experiment with it themselves. Whichever method they choose, they learn that the gallbladder has healing properties, and maybe the doctor/library book even suggests that they could turn it into a health potion.

TLDR; One method the players decide what a harvested part might do, and if it sounds reasonable, the GM lets them roll to see if they're right. The other method has the GM deciding what the part does, and then the players have to study or experiment with it to learn that information.

What I really want is some sort of mix between those two methods, but I can't quite figure out how to do that. Any advice is greatly appreciated, and I'll update this post if I come up with any other ideas :)

[berry-loves-yandere]

Hello again love of my life!! <33

If possible, can I please request a poly! Yandere Vance and Yandere Bruce with a s/o that's interest in witchcraft!!! <33

It's completely okay if you don't wanna write this!! <33

THANK YOU LOVEBUG!!!! <333333

These nicknames are low-key making me so flustered.

Yandere! Poly! Bruce and Vance with a s/o interested in witchcraft:

WARNINGS: unhealthy behaviours, obsessive behaviour, possessive behaviour, unhealthy mindset, extreme aggression, threatening, violence, murder threats, attempted murder manipulation, blood mentions, notions towards abusive relationship, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

Their darling is definitely a feared town outcast, a freak, which catches the attention of Bruce and Vance for separate reasons.

Vance is also considered an outcast (in a sense) so he might feel like the two of them could be close, especially if both him and his darling are feared for reasons of possible harm.

Bruce wants to disarm the rumours surrounding this seemingly sweet person that he completely and totally maybe thinks is cute and has a bit of a crush on who is someone so opposite to him.

Both attempt to interact with their witch darling who tries to avoid them, assuming bad intentions (which they are correct about for the wrong reasons).

Every time the boys are ignored or pushed away from their darling, they gain more interest in the witch.

They hear the rumours about how their darling is crazy, that they curse people or place spells.

Vance thinks that his growing obsession feelings for his darling are due to some form of love spell, so he now tries extra hard to talk to his darling to get them to reverse whatever curse or spell they put on him.

Bruce does his best to disable the rumours about his darling but he can't deny that they cause his interest in them to peak.

Both boys become more forceful in their attempts to at least befriend their darling until their darling gives in to try to ease whichever pressure was placed on them.

Likely Vance threatened to physically harm anyone close to his darling (ex: a family member or pet) and Bruce gave hints that he would get their family run out of town via harsh rumours.

Then because of their interest in the rumours or curiosity as to what spell was placed on them, the boys would make their darling tell them about witchcraft.

Once their darling tells them more about it, they would genuinely think witchcraft is so cool.

Vance would be all like "I can hurt dumbasses without touching them?! That's so fucking cool!"

While Bruce is more interested in watching small rituals that his darling performs, amazed by the sheer beauty of everything but would also want to try to find love spells as to have his darling fall in love with him.

The boys would not get along at first when they both realize that the other is also obsessed with their darling but soon come to an agreement to protect their beautiful witch darling from anything and everything.

They would steal spellbooks/ books with hexes to try to curse people who were interested in or harassing their darling but the most they succeed in is giving someone bad hair for about a month.

Bruce would spend as much money as possible to buy things for his darling's rituals while Vance would search for the natural ingredients that were needed, sometimes threatening others to find them for him if he didn't want to get them himself.

They would also try to do spells on their darling (love spells) but badly fail at simple ones then try more complex love spells that they would put on small charms and candles and give them to their darling but they’d fail at creating the love spell.

However it did advance their darling's affection for them but also their deep concerns.

Bruce and Vance would lie and deflect all rumours to protect their darling from anyone who accuses them of Witchcraft because the boys would never want their darling to be harmed or driven out of town.

But the moment they feel as if their darling is trying to escape them, they will unleash hellfire and allow their darling's family to suffer while they kidnap save their darling from the harsh world.

Vance would steal vials of nice smelling oils that his darling has because it reminds him of them.

He would

Bruce always asking if his darling will do some sort of spell to make him better at baseball.

Vance and Bruce definitely have little ‘chats’ with people who accuse their darling of being crazy or a witch because they don't need spells or curses to make sure someone shuts their mouth. 

(Edited)

[manako-no-yami]

Character Motivations: Fear vs. Desire, Risk vs. Reward

When writing any story, knowing what pushes your character to act can be very important. Whether this be a scenario where they are taking initiative or in a scenario where they're reacting to something that is happening to them, knowing what makes your character tick can be crucial. Here, I've tried to outline a formula you can use to get to know your character or create scenarios that will push your character to their limits.

Oftentimes, figuring out what your character will decide when presented with a choice, the problem can boiled down to this question:

Am I more afraid of negative consequences or missed opportunity?

Other ways to frame this question include: Would I rather be able to say "Well at least I tried" or am I more scared of realizing that even though I tried my hardest, I failed anyway? Am I more afraid of taking a chance, or of taking a chance only to be burned? Which will I regret more? Risking everything for nothing? Or playing it safe, and missing my only chance to get what I want?

What this question essentially does, is it pits fear against desire as motivators.

To be fair, fear and desire can sometimes be the same thing. Fear of not getting what you want can be closely linked with desire. Desire for safety and stability can look like fear of danger or change.

Another way to look at it is as risk vs. reward. Does your character prioritize reward over any risk? Or does your character prioritize safety over any reward?

From there, you can fine-tune their motivations even further.

What type of risk? What type of reward?

One way to narrow this down is to split it between abstract and concrete.

For example: maybe your character's biggest fear is being emotionally vulnerable (abstract). And maybe their biggest desire is to protect those that they love (concrete). From there you can set up a number of scenarios:

Abstract Risk, Abstract Reward Ex: Risk being emotionally vulnerable (abstract) and be rewarded with an emotional connection (abstract)? FEAR OVERRULES DESIRE. Character does not take the risk.

Abstract Risk, Concrete Reward Ex: Risk being emotionally vulnerable by revealing a big secret (abstract) in order to save a loved one from danger (concrete)? OPPORTUNITY FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Will they overcome their fear and be rewarded by achieving what they desire? Or will they be cowed by fear and miss out on being rewarded with desire?

Concrete Risk, Abstract Reward Ex: Risk joining a difficult competition (concrete) and be rewarded with admiration from your love interest (abstract)? LOW STAKES. Character isn't particularly afraid and doesn't particularly want the reward. Do they think, "well I have nothing to lose, so why not?" Or do they think, "I have nothing to gain, so no thanks"?

Concrete Risk, Concrete Reward Ex: Risk dying (concrete) in order to protect a loved one (concrete). DESIRE OVERRULES FEAR. Character takes the risk.

This model can also help you figure out how to design scenarios that will either let your audience get to know your character better or that are more compelling.

-

Another way to narrow this down is to split it between internal and external. This is similar to abstract and concrete, in a way. Internal risks and rewards are often abstract, while external risks and rewards are often more concrete. The main difference is if you think the fear or desire is largely coming from the character themself, or if it's coming from outside forces. Whichever model you prefer (abstract vs concrete, internal vs external) really depends on what you prefer.

For example: maybe your character's biggest fear is of being alone (internal). And maybe their biggest desire is to earn approval from their peers (external). Here are your scenarios:

Internal Risk, Internal Reward Ex: Risk losing your only friend (internal) by doing something you've always wanted to do but that would upset them, and be rewarded by proving to yourself that you can take initiative (internal)? FEAR OVERRULES DESIRE.

Internal Risk, External Reward Ex: Risk losing your only friend (internal) but earn the approval from your peers (external)? OPPORTUNITY FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

External Risk, Internal Reward Ex: Risk ridicule from your peers (external), but be rewarded with knowing that you're your own person (internal)? LOW STAKES.

External Risk, External Reward Ex: Risk ridicule from your peers (external), but be rewarded by approval from your parents (external)? DESIRE OVERRULES FEAR.

-

Three things to keep in mind about what I've modeled above:

A) These models and scenarios can fall apart if, like I said earlier, the fear and desire or risk and reward are mirrors of each other (i.e. fear of being alone vs. desire for company). From there, you might want to decide if your character is more fear-motivated or goal-oriented. Even if choosing between these two would lead to the same decision, the thought process that the character takes to arrive at that decision is very different.

B) Abstract vs. Concrete and Internal vs. External aren't necessarily the only ways to categorize risks and rewards. Choose whatever theme best works for your character or overall piece.

C) Following the above model will only give you a rough sketch of your character. To further complexify them, you can rank their risks and rewards by level of fear or desire, and from there create a myriad of scenarios to choose from. As you test your character with these different scenarios, the better you'll get to know them. By categorizing those risks and rewards in the way I modeled above, you may have an easier time figuring out how your character thinks. But people are unpredictable, so there may be exceptions to those broad rules based on things like extenuating circumstances or backstory.

Example:

Risks (ranked from most feared to least feared):

Hurting someone they love (abstract)

Losing a lot of money (concrete)

Being embarrassed (abstract)

Rewards (ranked from most desired to least desired):

Seeing those they help succeed (abstract)

Getting to say "I told you so" (abstract)

Winning a scholarship (concrete)

You can create scenarios that pair any risk vs. any reward to figure out your character's priorities, such as when their fear overrules their desire and when their desire overrules their fear.

Figure out what drives your character. How are they motivated? By fear? By desire? What kinds of fears? What kinds of desires? And don't forget!

Have fun.

[snakegirllovehandles]

I'm gonna put down some examples of writing and my experience reading them to compare and contrast here, mostly because I want to. Feel free to ignore this, it's mostly a comparison for my own pleasure. I'll hide it under a cut.

Thinking right now about why I put down and gave up on Gantz after the fight with the lantern bearing monster that well, spoilers: kills everyone else but the protagonist.

And I stopped reading, because while I was sort of interested in the way that the protagonist was interacting with the other people and the world he was quite unlikable and basically annoying to read. I was more interested and invested in the other characters, and when they all died I just lost interest.

I've since learned that this is the turning point in the manga, where the main character starts to figure his shit out, but to me it was... not what I wanted out of the manga, even though I had purposely sought it out (I was looking for manga with dark themes).

And thinking back on it, I think that the problem here is twofold: while I think that a narrative like Gantz can be told well (and frequently has been), I think that it's pretty easy for an author to take too fucking long to get to that point. There has to be something about a main character that is redeeming, or failing that, at least interesting to the reader. And when the protagonist isn't any of those things, persistently, there comes a certain point where a reader (me) starts to focus on other people.

I'd like to contrast this with Storm of Iron, the WH40k novel. Storm of Iron is a novel about very bad people winning, described partly from their point of view and partly from the point of view of some more ordinary humans caught up in the events, be they the embittered burnout who manages a parting shot and survives, the noble greenhorn who duels and fails, or the enslaved solder who gets her own back before succumbing to the terms of deal she made. Their foes, the Iron Warriors, get lots of play too: Forrix, who starts nihilistic and gradually regains his fire. Honsou, who isn't stupid but still manages to make mistakes and succeed anyways. Kroeger, benumbed berserker, whose end is already listed here.

I quote the author, Graham McNeill:

"Anyway, I’d known from the beginning of the project that the good guys were going to be defeated, but had to structure the book in a way that didn’t make the outcome blindingly obvious from the get go. I wanted the reader to be constantly seesawing between believing the Imperium would be victorious to that uncomfortable, nagging feeling that the Iron Warriors might just pull it off…

Both sides of the story got their time in the sun so that the readers would grow to like the stalwart defenders and the nefarious attackers. Normally, whichever side of the conflict gets the most attention is the side that comes out on top, but I didn’t want the reader to feel that one side was underdeveloped and thus guess who was going to win."

Emphasis mine. I think it's the important part here: if you're going to keep your readers reading, you need to invest quality time in the characters who matter. You can kill them, of course. But if you leave one of them out, if you don't show change or the beginnings of a character arc, however minute, you're not going to hold on to your readers. That's where Gantz fails, in my eyes, and where Storm of Iron succeeds.

One thing about fandom culture is that it sort of trains you to interact with and analyze media in a very specific way. Not a BAD way, just a SPECIFIC way.

And the kind of media that attracts fandoms lends itself well (normally) to those kinds of analysis. Mainly, you’re supposed to LIKE and AGREE with the main characters. Themes are built around agreeing with the protagonists and condemning the antagonists, and taking the protagonists at their word.

Which is fine if you’re looking at, like, 99% of popular anime and YA fiction and Marvel movies.

But it can completely fall apart with certain kinds of media. If someone who has only ever analyzed media this way is all of a sudden handed Lolita or 1984 or Gatsby, which deal in shitty unreliable narrators; or even books like Beloved or Catcher in the Rye (VERY different books) that have narrators dealing with and reacting to challenging situations- well… that’s how you get some hilariously bad literary analysis.

I dont know what my point here is, really, except…like…I find it very funny when people are like “ugh. I hate Gatsby and Catcher because all the characters are shitty” which like….isnt….the point. Lololol you arent supposed to kin Gatsby.

[pathfinderunlocked]

The Black Throne - CR12 Wondrous Item/Haunt

A magic item and haunt for the Shade of the Cursed King to use.  The Shade of the Cursed King will be posted later this week.

Artwork by HippyHoudini on DeviantArt.

The Black Throne is somewhere in between a magic item and a haunt, having nor been created on purpose by anyone, but rather gaining its power spontaneously as the cursed undead shade of a powerful king sat on the throne for centuries, and haunted spirits came to possess the object in the same way that they might possess a haunt.  As a result, it has a strong evil aura, it reacts to Detect Undead, and positive energy effects damage it.

It uses its Dispossess ability as soon as the king rises from the throne, but will not use its other attacks until the throne itself is attacked.

Although I’m giving you rules for exactly how the targeting on this haunt works, I strongly suggest ignoring them, and instead going in order from most martial to least martial PC.   Dispossessing the martial characters is more interesting than dispossessing the magic users, and also less complicated.

As an item-bound haunt, The Black Throne can be damaged by things other than channeled energy and holy water.  Any persistent haunt that isn’t item-bound or creature-bound is garbage.

The Black Throne - CR 12

Aura strong necromancy; CL 20th; Slot none (unattended haunt); Price —; Weight 3800 lbs.

DESCRIPTION

Any creature sitting on The Black Throne gains DR 10/-, resistance 10 to all energy types, a +8 profane bonus to Charisma, and the ability to cast Bestow Curse at will as a spell-like ability.  These bonuses and abilities last for as long as the creature remains seated on the throne.  However, if the creature is good-aligned, it takes 4 permanent negative levels until it stands up, and if it is neutral-aligned, it takes 2 permanent negative levels until it stands up.

These negative levels remain as long as the creature remains seated on The Black Throne and cannot be overcome in any way (including through restoration spells) except by standing up from the throne.

HAUNT

XP 19,200 LE persistent item-bound haunt (120-ft. radius) Caster Level 12th Notice automatic (to notice your soul being ejected from your body) Trigger proximity (dispossess) and when attacked (curse and kill) Weakness item-bound Reset 1 minute (dispossess)

DEFENSE

AC 4 (-5 Dex, -1 size) hp 162 Fort +20, Ref +20, Will +20 Defensive Abilities hardness 10, object traits, positive energy susceptibility Immune critical hits, nonlethal damage, negative energy

OFFENSE

Space 10 ft. Speed 0 ft. Melee none Special Attacks dispossess, curse and kill

STATISTICS

Str —, Dex —, Con —, Int —, Wis —, Cha — CMD 6 SQ inanimate

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Inanimate The Black Throne is not a creature and does not roll for initiative, but once attacked, it acts automatically at initiative count 10.

Positive Energy Susceptibility The Black Throne is a haunt, and can be damaged by positive energy effects and holy water as if it were an undead creature.  These effects are not halved as normal for energy attacks against objects.

Dispossess (Su) If an intelligent living creature is within the The Black Throne’s 120 foot proximity, and no creature is sitting on The Black Throne, it attempts to dispossess nearby creatures.  The nearest intelligent living creature must succeed on a DC 30 Will saving throw, or its soul is ripped from its body.  If this effect fails, it instead targets the next closest creature, and then the next, until it either successfully rips someone’s soul out or there are no more creatures within its proximity.  A creature that successfully saves against this effect is immune to it for 24 hours or until a creature sits on The Black Throne, whichever comes first.  This is a possession effect.

When a creature’s soul is dispossessed in this way, the creature’s body is dead, but is preserved as if with Gentle Repose, and the creature’s spirit appears above its body as an incorporeal undead creature with all of the statistics and abilities of that creature, including incorporeal copies of its gear.  It can attack and act normally, but loses any armor, shield, and natural armor bonuses to AC that do not originate from force effects, except against attacks from other incorporeal creatures.  Its attacks, spells, and abilities deal half damage to corporeal creatures, or have a 50% success chance if they are non-damaging effects.  The target gains a fly speed of 30 feet (perfect) unless its base fly speed is higher.

The dispossessed target retains all ongoing and permanent effects and bonuses that originate from its equipment, but cannot activate magic items.  The incorporeal copies of its gear do not count as magic items; the bonuses the target retains are only an echo of the power it had in its physical form.  As an incorporeal creature, the dispossessed target cannot damage or interact with corporeal objects, including The Black Throne, except with magical and supernatural abilities.

When a creature sits on the throne, or the throne is destroyed, the dispossessed soul is returned to its original body, which is restored to life, and the haunt resets immediately, ignoring its typical reset time of 1 minute.

Curse and Kill (Sp) If The Black Throne is attacked, it begins attempting to curse and kill all living creatures within its 120 foot radius.  Each round at initiative count 10, it casts either Bestow Curse or Power Word: Kill on a target within 120 feet as a spell-like ability.  The Black Throne does not need to succeed on a touch attack when casting Bestow Curse, and Bestow Curse’s range is increased to 120 feet.  It prioritizes using Bestow Curse, applying a penalty to the target’s Constitution, and then uses Power Word Kill on any creature that has been successfully cursed.  Bestow Curse has a Will save DC of 17.

The Black Throne can use Bestow Curse at will, and can use Power Word Kill once per target.

DESTRUCTION

Destroying The Black Throne destroys the haunt possessing it.

CRAFTING REQUIREMENTS

Cannot be crafted

[kaijudyke]

hello my friends! as you may or may not be aware i have a healthy obsession with the ballad of tam lin, and today i would like to talk to you about the abundance of parallels between tam lin and star trek deep space nine s02e22 the wire! i will be summarizing the ballad for you so you do not need to be familiar with it! strap in for a long analysis and join me under the cut 💖

1. a summary of the ballad in broad strokes

(all excerpts in this section from child 39A)

tam lin is a scottish folktale about a young woman named janet who goes to the forest of carterhaugh, which is known to be guarded by a fairy called tam lin.

O I forbid you, maidens a', That wear gowd on your hair, To come or gae by Carterhaugh, For young Tam Lin is there.

(janet is aware of this, and goes anyway. one of my favorite running themes in the ballad is janet being incredibly headstrong and cocky.) she picks a few roses, he appears and tells her to stop, she stands up to him, and they end up sleeping together (and, ostensibly, falling in love). she returns home to her father's castle pregnant. her father and the other men at the castle are very concerned about her pregnancy, but she defies them and tells her father that this is her own responsibility and that she'd rather be with tam lin than any human nobleman:

If that I gae wi child, father, Mysel maun bear the blame, There's neer a laird about your ha, Shall get the bairn's name. If my love were an earthly knight, As he's an elfin grey, I wad na gie my ain true-love For nae lord that ye hae.

janet goes back to carterhaugh to pick abortifacient herbs and terminate the pregnancy, since she believes she and tam lin will never be able to be together. tam lin reappears and asks her to stop, and she asks him to tell her more about himself (in many versions she asks him if he's a christian), looking for any reason not to give up on him:

"Why pu's thou the rose, Janet, Amang the groves sae green, And a' to kill the bonny babe That we gat us between?" "O tell me, tell me, Tam Lin," she says, "For's sake that died on tree, If eer ye was in holy chapel, Or christendom did see?"

he tells her that he's human like her, but was taken by the fairy queen as a child. he also says that the fairies pay a tithe to hell every seven years, and he's worried this time they're going to sacrifice him. he tells her how to save him: she must be at miles cross at midnight on all hallow's eve, when the fairies ride by, and she must pull him down from his horse and hold on to him as the fairies change his shape several times.

"They'll turn me in your arms, lady, Into an esk and adder, But hold me fast, and fear me not, I am your bairn's father. "They'll turn me to a bear sae grim, And then a lion bold, But hold me fast, and fear me not, And ye shall love your child. "Again they'll turn me in your arms To a red het gand of airn, But hold me fast, and fear me not, I'll do you nae harm. "And last they'll turn me in your arms Into the burning gleed, Then throw me into well water, O throw me in with speed. "And then I'll be your ain true-love, I'll turn a naked knight, Then cover me wi your green mantle, And hide me out o sight."

(the exact details of the transformations vary between versions, but some of the most common shapes he has to go through are adder, newt, lion, hot coal, and burning iron. if you're interested in the variations, i highly recommend this page!) once the transformations are done, he instructs her to wrap him in her green cloak, after which the fairies won't have a claim to him anymore. janet follows his instructions and successfully saves him, much to the dismay of the fairy queen.

2. janet, julian, and their relationships

whichever version of tam lin you are reading, janet is a character with a ton of agency. she has no qualms about encroaching on tam lin's territory (in fact she tells him in no uncertain terms that the forest is hers), and there is some indication that she might have gone to carterhaugh specifically because she wanted to sleep with tam lin; she's said to be wearing a green dress, and since the color green was associated with the fae, wearing green to a fairy wood is pretty clearly inviting their attention. (in medieval literature, green was also sometimes associated with love and sex.)

it's not hard to draw a parallel between janet's decision to pursue tam lin despite the danger he represents and julian's immediate fascination with garak in past prologue even though (or rather because) he suspects him to be a spy. also of note is that janet and tam lin's relationship begins with an argument, where her willingness to challenge him seems to be what draws him to her. one of my favorite retellings, by james p. spence, emphasizes this:

‘I'm here tae guard these woods, tae see that naebodie nor nothing disturbs their peace.’ ‘An was it ma father that gave ye such a job?’ ‘Naw it wasnae.’ ‘Weel, there ye are then. It should be you that's asking ma permission tae set foot in these woods, because it is ma father that owns them.’ Then the young man's face rose up intae a smile that seemed many a long year since it was last there. (scottish borders folk tales, james p. spence, p. 114-115)

i'm sure i don't need to tell you that this is reminiscent not only of garak and julian's fondness for debate but of the way cardassians show romantic interest. more than that, though, i think there's something to be said for the way these relationships are treated by other people in the characters' lives. janet's father and his knights are troubled by her pregnancy, and they clearly think she should be with a normal, respectable man, preferably one of said knights, given that she feels the need to remark "There's neer a knight about your ha / Shall hae the bairnie's name." (child 39I) in the wire, when julian tells jadzia he wishes garak would trust him, she replies "why should he? it's not like the two of you are really friends." julian's friends do not understand why he spends so much time with garak—a cardassian, a spy, an outcast, someone who can't be trusted.

in both cases it's easy enough to see where they're coming from; being pregnant out of wedlock with a fairy's child is certainly not an ideal situation for a young noblewoman to find herself in, and it's remarkably foolish for a starfleet officer to have regular lunch dates with someone he believes to be an enemy spy. but janet and julian are both stubborn, and more interested in what's adventurous and exciting than what's good for them. (remember that, like janet knowingly going to pick roses in a forest guarded by fairies, julian wanted the position on ds9 because he wanted to try his hand at "frontier medicine"; misguided as he may have been, his thirst for adventure is the reason he's even on the station to begin with.)

3. fairyland, the obsidian order, and enabran tain

in the ballad, tam lin is abducted by the fairy queen when he's a child. she takes him to a magical realm where he feels no pain and is far removed from human worries.

And we that live in faeryland, No sickness know, nor pain, I quit my body when I will, And take to it again. (j. holm, verse 32)

garak has been enabran tain's protégé since he was very young. as an operative of the obsidian order, he's been trained to be cool under pressure, to play his cards close to his chest, and to avoid sentimentality and attachment. the plot of the episode hinges entirely on a device implanted in his brain that keeps him from feeling pain. to save his life, julian has to remove the implant, metaphorically rescuing him from fairyland and the influence of the queen who stole him away from the human world. the fairy queen is very possessive of tam lin and very disdainful of his feelings for janet; in many versions of the ballad, after janet successfully rescues him, the fairy queen remarks that if she'd known this would happen, she would have plucked out his eyes and replaced them with wood, or taken his heart and replaced it with stone.

"But had I kend, Tam Lin," said she, "What now this night I see, I wad hae taen out thy twa grey een, And put in twa een o tree." (child 39A, verse 42) 'Had I but kend, Thomas,' she says, 'Before I came frae hame, I had taen out that heart o flesh, Put in a heart o stane.' (child 39B, verse 41)

much like tain tried and failed to mold garak into the perfect emotionless spy, the fairy queen very literally wants to remove tam lin's ability to feel love, because his emotions make him harder for her to control, and in the end are what lead him to escape her clutches entirely. garak and tam lin are both saved by the same thing: their transgressive love for their rescuer, and the fierce, unconditional love they receive in return.

4. hold me fast and fear me not

the central event of the tam lin ballad, of course, is the transformation scene. i'm sure it's what makes the ballad stick in people's minds; it certainly is for me. there's something so deeply romantic about the phrase "hold me fast and fear me not," and about the idea of loving someone so much that you'll hold on to them even as they turn into a beast in your arms. the wire doesn't have as literal a transformation scene as tam lin, but i would argue that it certainly has one.

after julian removes garak's implant (which we can equate to pulling tam lin down from his horse), garak goes through withdrawal. he becomes, by turns, depressed, and angry, and spiteful, and violent. throughout the episode, we see him try to drive julian away. he refuses his help; he insults him; he tells him contradictory stories about his past, all designed to shock him; when none of this succeeds at discouraging him, he physically lashes out.

julian, however, doesn't budge. he isn't fooled by the shapes garak contorts himself into. he takes every change in stride, never wavering in his determination to save him. every person garak claims to be, julian accepts. like janet defying the fairy queen for love of tam lin, he goes as far as to enter cardassian territory and seek out enabran tain in order to save garak's life. when he believes he's about to die, garak tells julian he needs to know that someone forgives him; "i forgive you," julian says, "for whatever it is you did." whatever kind of beast garak is—whatever kind of beast tain has turned him into—julian will not let go of his hand. he will hold him fast.

He grew into her arms two Like iron in hot fire; She held him fast, let him not go, He was her heart's desire. (child 39D, verse 31)

the basic structure of these stories is the same: the main character finds out that the person they love is in immediate danger due to something they went through when they were younger, which fundamentally changed them as a person and is also keeping the two from being together. unwilling to lose their love, they brave the wrath of a powerful villain who's controlled this person's life for a long time. there are undeterred by the frightening changes the person goes through. in the end, they are victorious, and their beloved is free.

5. my dear doctor, they're all true

a closing statement: tam lin is a folktale. like any folktale, there are many, many versions of it, often contradicting each other. there is no definitive version of tam lin (though child 39A may be the most famous). you're free to read every available version of the story, finding meaning not only in the most commonly reoccurring themes, but also in which parts of the text speak to you. like garak's contradictory stories about his life, while it's hard to say whether any one element is true, every element tells you something—about the story, or about the person who tells it. my view of these story parallels is heavily influenced by my own personal interpretation of, and feelings about, the ballad. as it should be.

[vampiresuns]

Sunrisenfool’s HCs about how th Vesuvian Court/Government functions

You know it was a matter of time before I did this. This is Canon Courtiers occupation notwithstanding, as I hc that Lucio put them there at random, except perhaps for Valdemar who has been the Palace’s cockroach problem for some time now (no offence at the denomination). 

The Vesuvian Court is separated into divisions/”ministries”/departments.

There’s the Countship on itself and it’s board of advisors — Court Advisors are independent positions, with no pre-established number, who often enact as mediators between the different court ministries. They are not to be mistaken with the Court Staff.

The Court Staff is in charge of coordinating the duties and interconnected missions of the Court, working similarly to a Human Resources department. It is in charge of a Head of Staff (of the Vesuvian Court) and is composed of political and legal operators and clerks. It is somewhat of an equivalent to the servant and waiting staff existing in the Palace, who is is charge of the Chamberlain. For example, if the waiting staff would be responsible to accommodate a diplomatic envoy, the Court staff would be responsible to manage their schedules and papers for the negotiations they came to do. They serve a role more important than most people think, as there are some duties of different ministries which overlap, and it falls on them to make the execution as seamless as possible. The Consul has a heavy hand on deciding who the Head of Staff will be.

The Council of Vesuvia, composed of 7 councilpersons and presided by the Consul, who is the second highest political authority in the City. The Consul is meant to exist as a link between the Count/ess and the City, representing it in front of the rest of the Court. Consuls are appointed by firstly being presented to the Court, and then presented to the City after a period of working in the Council or the Court. This is a process I will talk about below.

The Council is in charge of the civic life of the City, being responsible for things such as Housing, Education, Public Health, Social Policies, making different social aggruppations be heard, Public Law making, among others.

The Praetorship, who is the head of Justice and is aided by a board of prosecutors. There is one prosecutor per city district, with the exception of Ash Beach as it’s not a proper district and falls under the Temple District jurisdiction and the Heart District — because it is the district where the Palace stands, the head of the district is the Praetor, technically speaking. Despite being called ‘prosecutors’ they are not exclusively dedicated to criminal law affairs, and neither is the Praetor technically.

The Pontifex of Vesuvia is not a religious authority, as the name would suggest, since the City has no official religion and has a policy of freedom of creed. The Temple District has it’s own ways of organising itself in order for all the different temples to coexist (and I hc that it is one of the ‘chillest’ districts in the city, poverty problems aside. The Consul rarely has to worry about it, since all of the heads of the different temples and religions tend to coordinate and join efforts. The councilperson for this district is usually chosen between the members of the religious bodies, and is usually someone who has some religious ordinance). Instead, the Pontifex is the cultural authority of Vesuvia. The Pontifex is responsible for the City’s festivals, the proliferation of the Arts and their protection, and the coordination of the different guilds (academic, of artisans, etc.) in the City, with the exception of the guild of Merchants which befalls under the Procurator’s responsibility. The Pontifex and it’s ministry also have a say about Education in Vesuvia.

The Pontifex is not a ‘Pontifex’ in the Roman sense: the Roman Pontifex was a member of the college of priests, and the Pontifex Maximus, it’s head. Something similar to that in the Arcana world would not be the Pontifex, but the Temple District’s councilperson.

Unlike what Vulgora would have you believe, War affairs or Navy affairs aren’t part of this department.

The Procuratorship, in hands of the Procurator is responsible for the City’s supplies, as it is seen in the game. However, this doesn’t just mean food — as one of it’s many duties is to make sure there aren’t food shortages for the general population in Vesuvia, as food in the City is considered an ‘Entitlement’ of people (a right) and their own version of food banks are common and cherished institutions in the City. Aside from food, it is the Procurator’s responsibility to oversee all transactions which are necessary in order to get any sort of resources into the City. If a service is provided by the Countship and/or its Court, it befalls on the Procurator that the requirements are seen, acting as a coordinator. They are also the link between the Count and the Court and the guild of Merchants, whether maritime or terrestrial.

Once again despite what Valdemar would have you believe, the Quaestor is the financial and economic authority of Vesuvia, responsible for the economic well-being of the City. Responsible for the City’s coffers, taxes and tolls. “Economic policies” or “mandates” fall into this ministry.

Other Court members include the Palace’s physician and their medical department, Court scientists, Court magicians, Court entertainers, the Poet Laureate of Vesuvia, and other small positions that relate to different jobs and capacities which can be appointed by the Count/ess as they see fit. It is generally understood that a Count/ess can mould their Court to suit them best. Public City Planing (relating to the architecture of the Public Space) is it’s own inter-ministerial department, and though it’s head is a member of the Court, they are not a Courtier, as they do not hold one of the official Court Ministries.

As you can see, there is a degree of overlapping in different duties, which require coordination, hence the Court having its own staff. I will not go into a deep dive of Headcanons about Vesuvian Law and it’s classifications because that’s something incredibly specific (despite I might be tempted to out of personal interest). I will also not talk about how positions are appointed, except for the Consul’s because I haven’t thought so far yet.

Instead I will firstly talk about the state of the Court under the Canon Courtiers.

For the most part, they continued to function as they did before but with trouble as they were either abandoned by their Courtier, or said Courtier purposefully intervened in a negative way. 

The Quaestor’s department and the Pontifex’s department were left mostly undisturbed, as neither Vulgora nor Valdemar could care less about what they did, and if anything needed their actual signature it was rather easy to get it out of them — as long as you caught Vulgora in a good mood and they liked you, and as long as you could catch Valdemar or stand them.

However, the Procuratorship and the Praetorship are different stories, as both ministries depend on its Courtier to a bigger degree. Some of the duties of the Procurator kept going, administrated by the staff of the department of by the guild of Merchants itself, but City supplies took the biggest toll. The Vesuvian justice system, (at least the criminal law part) which was already in need of reformation and rethinking was almost completely destroyed by the actions of Lucio and Vlastomil. It’s private law aspects stood generally less damaged, as it was easy for the board of prosecutors to take a handle of that themselves, but it was different when it came to Vlastomil prosecuting people himself.

This is, of course, not counting all the people in the Court who were corrupt themselves in whichever way.

And in the face of the rest of the Courtiers failing to do their jobs, the second in commands, or whomever felt responsible for the department and did not wish to work with the Courtiers or the Count, but for the City instead, began leaning on the Consul and their Council to the point of overdoing it, reaching a point where almost everything was the Council’s responsibility and therefore the Consul’s. This created an hyper-centralisation of the Court.

As an inclusion of my OCs own lore, when Anatole succeeds Valerius as the Consul, it takes him and Nadia from 3 to 5 years to revert this system of functioning, and consolidating their first reforms as a political duo.

The Consul’s ascension ceremony.

Like I already mentioned, the Consul of Vesuvia is the second most important/powerful political figure in Vesuvia, directly after the Count/ess. Aside of the political and civic duties I have already explained, the Consul acts as a “protector” of Vesuvia, albeit not in a paternalistic politically-conservative way (which is how paternalistic policies would be understood in our world). Instead, the Consul is meant to rule the City if the Count is absent or incapacitated, therefore being the subsidiary depositary of the secret of the foundation of Vesuvia, and the importance of it’s Canals.

When a Consul chooses their successor, said successor is first presented to the Court and the Count/ess. Since the Consul is supposed to enact as Vesuvia’s voice in the Court and is supposed to work the closest to the Count/ess, it is important that this person takes a position in the Court. They are supposed to know its workings left, right and blindfolded.

Normally, a Consul’s appointed successor will take the role of the secretary of the Council. This isn’t mandatory however. 

When a successor is presented to the court they must expose their understanding of the Court, the City and at least one issue they would like to focus on, or an area of their expertise. This is similar to what we’d know as a dissertation or a viva voce.

The Count/ess can vote against a successor for any reason, though per custom (not by law) they tend to give the ultimate deference to the City.

Therefore it is important that said successor is known to the City. They are not presented like they are to the Court, instead their work should be their presentation.

This is important because when a Consul dies or steps down and their successor is supposed to take their place, the public ceremony (it’s always public) includes two stages: during the first stage, the appointed successor bows to the City of Vesuvia, presenting themselves officially for the “first time” by declaring their commitment to the City with the work they have previously done as guarantee of said commitment. This is entangled with my own lore about the Radošević-Cassano family, but even without them, the point here is that Consuls are supposed to work. It is not an easily won, easily held position.

The way they ask the City to consider them varies from person to person but it must include name, a brief exposition of their work (if they did the job they shouldn’t actually have to detail it, the City should know), and a expression of humility.

Valerius, who was the youngest Consul to be appointed in the history of Vesuvia (to my headcanon, so know I will dive into R-C lore here, but you may customise as you see fit) would’ve been something like this: he would’ve introduced himself by full name followed by a “our time acquainting with each other has not been long, but know that I know you — the City of my mother, of my family the Cassano, and the City which has seen me grown through various years. Take my youth and my willingness to do right by my position as guarantee of the suitability of my character.” Then he would bow.

Whereas Anatole’s would be something like this: he would bow first, speaking to Vesuvia on one knee. “My dearest Vesuvians, it is Aelius Anatole Radošević De Silva, of the Cassano of Vesuvia who comes to you after many years of us knowing each other. My beloved Vesuvia for once let my actions be the eloquent ones, where words would otherwise fail your ever devoted public servant.”

Dramatic, but also he has a very special relationship with the City.

You know the City accepts you either because of their cheers, or because an appointed random person asks you to rise and remember to serve the City. Mind that the ceremony is all about the forms because it is meant to create that link (or the illusion of it) between the Consul and the City, and the participation (or illusion of it) of the citizens in the Court.

Then the appointed successor would stand and tell the Count/ess that “Vesuvia’s voice has been heard” to which the Count/ess agrees and names the successor in question Consul of Vesuvia.

Once again, the Count/ess can refuse this, but usually there’s no point in doing so if you’ve gotten this far unless you really want to humiliate someone.

If there is no active Count/ess the same ceremony has place with the Court standing for the incapacitated Count/ess.

There is no official or actual ceremony in the occasion that the Countship jumps to the Consul, instead the Court ratifies the Consul as the Count in their absence. If a Consul is ruling because a Count is too young to do so themselves and said Count/ess has no Count-Regent to act as such, like a parent or a guardian, when the Count becomes of age the Consul “presents” Vesuvia to its new Count and asks to return to their duties under the new mandate. There is no other formalities than that.

Count/ess ascensions, while equally public and bigger, have less inclusions of the Vesuvian public. This is because unless the former Count resigns/abdicates from the position (if this is the case they are the one to invest the new Count as the Count of Vesuvia) it is the Consul who invests the Count, therefore not including any manifestation from the City because it is being represented by the Consul.

[thegodwithin]

I view myself as a failure to be honest. A liar and someone who struggles to do what others do easily. When it comes to others, I assume they are better unless proven otherwise. I see myself as inferior to everyone like a baby that people have to boss around and have to tell what to do. I feel like I’m stupid sometimes. I see myself as someone who can never make up their mind and I’m just here to please people. I feel like I have to do something in order to win the affection and attention. I feel like when I enter a room, no one turns their head unless I’m doing something fun or exciting and even at that, they look at my face and lose interest. I feel like someone who guys would be like “Eh, she’s a 3/10. Why would you ever let someone that ugly play you?” But I have this false delusion in my head that I’m pretty but everyone else thinks the opposite. I feel like that friend in the movies that everyone knows is dumb and ugly, but continues to lies to themselves to escape reality. I just feel like I’m lying when I’m confident because I mean look at me? Do I really have the right to feel confident when I look the way I look and act the way I act. I feel like the bitch that people force themselves to be around so she doesn’t get hurt when she figures out no one actually likes her. I feel like loser who never wins even when they try. I feel like someone who tries and tries just to be inferior to everyone around them. I feel like someone who is scared and instead of succeeding in the end, they were right and they end up failing like they thought they would. I feel like someone who struggles with shit that comes easy to everyone else. I feel like someone that’s only made to be a stepping stone for others and is only mean to “defend themselves”, but deep down they are just insecure. The opposite of THAT BITCH or an IT GIRL. I can never see myself in that light. More of the best friend or girl that follows the it girl around and follows her every move knowing she will never amount to the true IT GIRL. I feel like everything and everyone is against me and whatever higher power that’s out there (God) is laughing at me for attempting manifestation knowing I used it as an escape from Christianity. I mean how can I be the god of reality when I’m me? I’m just tasha. I can’t be a god when I’m this pathetic. I couldn’t even manifest a simple eye change and it’s been a year LMAO. I’ve seen others manifest what I want in days. I feel like I’ve made up manifestation in my head and I’m trying to use it with no concrete evidence besides success stories to make me feel better about my horrible life. But even if it was real, I will fall out of it like I did with everything else. Like I did with trying to journal or trying to workout because I’ll end up failing and lying to everyone and telling them I succeed so I look good. I feel like someone who fails and fails and someone who the universe is against LMAO or whatever higher power there is. If it was for me, why haven’t I gotten what I wanted? If I’m a god, why do I feel the way I do about myself? If I’m a god, why do I look the way I do? I don’t capture the beauty I’ve always wanted. I have a long face and droopy eyes THATS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT ANYONE WANTS. And I know people will be like I wish I had your determination. No you don’t because it’s physically hurting me at this point. I keep failing and getting hurt and won’t take no until I finally snap and leave it forever. Until I snap and lie and tell others I finally succeeded. I can’t even decide on what I fucking what. What boss bitch doesn’t know what they want? My determination is all for nothing if I just end up failing and have to cover for myself by saying, “Oh yeah it totally worked out.” Ik self concept but what specifically do I affirm for self concept and how do I affirm it to make it feel natural?

First of all, I'd like to say that I personally understand you, so I know how hard all of this can be.

Now I think you need to start over and really go over the basics of the law. Your external reality will only ever work to prove your assumptions to be true. It will also only reflect to you what you already are. So if you feel / believe that you are unattractive, you will face more circumstances that will make you reaffirm how unattractive you are. It’s pointless to look outside for changes or signs or any evidence that “this is working” because nothing can change before you do. Signs follow, they don't precede. Everything is reflecting your state of being, your awareness. Even your own thoughts and feelings, so pay attention to those.

This is a REALLY long reply so the rest is under the cut

If you were this new person that you want to become, if you were already her, do you think she would be seeing herself in this way? Do you think she would be thinking that she can’t get it right and that she’s a failure and unattractive? If she’s already the person that you want to be, she would know for a fact that she was a success story, she’s living proof of it! She would be focused on enjoying her life the way that she intended to.

There’s only ever one source within you, from which your whole reality is born from. You can’t come from a place of lack and a place of fulfillment at the same time. Like Neville said, you can’t serve two masters. You have to completely let go of your old master, which is your old story. This is the moment to stop everything and really be honest with yourself. Who are you being in this moment? Who were you yesterday? Last week? Last year? And you don’t really need any input from the outside to answer these questions. All of that is within you, in your thoughts, in your reactions, in your feelings, in the way you look at life and others, in your everyday expectations.

But letting go of the old story can be difficult, you’re so attached to it, you identify with it, it’s everything you have ever known. It’s okay, stop punishing yourself and calling yourself a failure over this, that type of attitude won’t help you with anything. I think it’s helpful to understand yourself first, know what you’re feeling and what you want, before you jump into any techniques or quick affirmation fixes that clearly aren’t helping you. You don’t need to be an IT GIRL or a boss bitch if that doesn’t feel right or natural to you. You don’t need to be perfect at everything in order to be successful, fulfilled and happy. Get to know yourself first, understand why you have been thinking and feeling this way and what would you prefer to be, what would you like to feel, in general. We always know what we want to feel, so start there when it comes to your desires.

In my opinion, you can’t really let go of the old story before you accept it first. And I don’t mean to accept it as true and factual of who you are, but accept it in terms of taking responsibility for being the creator of it. You don’t have to love it ofc, but get to a point where you can honestly look at it and say “yeah that sucked but it’s ok, I created it, it doesn’t mean anything else, it was just myself being reflected back to me, it wasn’t anyone’s fault, not even my own really. I didn’t know better.” Make peace with where you are and where you came from before you try to get to any new destinations.

To be god, or the god of your reality does not mean to be perfect and to look like an angel. It means to be the source of everything, to be the one in control, calling the shots. It means that you ARE your reality, you are your experiences, your relationships, your feelings and your thoughts. It means that there is absolutely nothing outside of you, nothing beyond your reach, nothing deciding anything in your life. Whatever you, as god, accepts as true, will be brought to life before your eyes. And you, as god, is the only one keeping everything alive around you, by giving your attention to it. By accepting it and validating it. By believing in it. By feeling it to be true. And your godself, or the god within you is your awareness, your imagination.

Now that you know and accept that you created all this and how you got here, the good news is that you can change it. You can in fact become a different person, that’s part of your power as god. Choose to no longer entertain and accept the concepts about yourself (or about anything else) that you don’t like. It’s only “real” because you accepted it as such, and you proved this acceptance by thinking and feeling from the perspective of those concepts being true. This will probably take a lot of discipline from you, you must become aware of who you are being everyday, and start choosing to think and feel in a different way. No need to “ignore” your 3d world, but rather just remind yourself that you created it, it’s not who you are anymore and it will certainly change, the more you become this new person within. Stop identifying with it and taking it as evidence. It’s not evidence, it’s a side effect.

Ask yourself, who do you want to be today? What do you want to feel like? and then proceed to give it to yourself in your imagination, in whichever way feels best to you (visualizing, feeling, affirming, scripting etc). Make a decision to prioritize giving yourself what you want in your mind everyday, as much as possible. Nothing else matters. Your goal should not be to change the circumstances but rather to change your mind, to change where your feelings and thoughts are coming from. The outside world has no choice but to conform to that, because it’s all you.

You don’t need to add anything into your thoughts (ex: using a bunch of affirmations), but rather just replace what’s already in there with the thoughts you would like to have instead. But know that as you do this everyday, you’re not running away from reality, you are molding it and transforming it, because it simply comes from you.

What you tell others is not relevant unless you assume it is. Remember that your conversations and interactions are also a reflection of you. If anything, take it as lessons, it’s life showing you what you are focusing on and accepting as true.

A key point tho is your discipline and persistence. This is a permanent change and a lifestyle. You can’t jump from one perspective (the new wanted one) and then go back to your old one (the old story, the old master remember?) if you don’t see changes in your outside world after a few days. You must persist in your preferred story. But don’t be forceful, don’t think that “oh i’m in the old state again so this means i’m not doing it right!”. If you catch yourself serving the old master just remind yourself that wait this isn’t true for me anymore, so I don’t even need to keep it up in my mind.

Free yourself to be who and what you want in your mind. Without needing to see it manifest. You want it, so you embody having it, you persist in it and as a side effect of how reality works, it shows up in your life.

Here’s 2 audios that are really helping me lately:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9Sk-ENo650

https://podcasts.apple.com/br/podcast/feeling-twisty/id1473719923?i=1000527543384

I would seriously recommend to go in depth with both of these sources, feeling twisty on apple podcasts and ALLISMIND on reddit.

I hope this helps!

[taags-old-account]

I have had this idea churning around in my head for a while and I had to put it somewhere, so here I am! torturing my 9 followers with this idea. Almost like a complaint of sorts, but whatever!

Why has barely anybody made crossover fanfics of Avengers & Tales Of Arcadia. (The ones that are made are good, I'm just really surprised that there aren't more?) I'll give you a few reasons why this crossover would actually work really well (I would write one of these myself, but I would never complete it and there are so many more talented people out there other than me and personally I think I would end up failing it so bad!):

1. Arcadia, in reality, would so be noticed; All the weird shit that goes down in that town would have to get noticed by somebody (Specifically S.H.I.E.L.D. or H.Y.D.R.A.) but even other groups or people like Natasha and Clint on a mission (I associate them with The Avengers more than S.H.I.E.L.D.) or Loki (Imagine him in Arcadia!). Things like the Eternal Night and Morando's invasion were bound to get noticed by somebody. Like area 49B could have a connection to S.H.I.E.L.D. or even better: H.Y.D.R.A.! Or maybe Asgard has tales of the great Trollhunter and Merlin and Morgana? Imagine if Loki and Thor heard those tales? This leads to connections and a good starting point (ideas for starters below):

- Loki manages to escape back in 2012 (The first time, not in Endgame or in Endgame if you prefer) or gets banished to Earth instead of Thor and lands in Arcadia. (Or Thor if you prefer him) This could mean that Darcy, Selvig, and Jane are getting weird readings and stories from all over town and finally meet Thor or Loki then, later on, find an Akaridion, one of the Trollhunters (or all 3), or Douxie. (I would stan a Loki, Douxie, and Darcy friendship!)

- Natasha and Clint are sent on a mission to search out Arcadia Oaks. They discover that this town has a lot of crazy shit happening to it daily (I got more into the Loki or Thor one because I know more about them than I do Clint & Natasha)

- The Winter Soldier is sent to capture an asset from Arcadia Oaks. He can either fail or succeed (if you want angst). If he fails, S.H.I.E.L.D. will sooner or later, find out about it and begin to search for answers...

- S.H.I.E.L.D. was monitoring through cameras all over the world per usual when they discover something crazy happening/something suspicious happening in Arcadia Oaks. (This could be the Eternal Night, Morando's Invasion, Trollhunters fighting bad trolls, Aja, Varvatos, and Krel fighting Bounty Hunters, or Douxie and Archie defending Arcadia using magic by night) and send the Avengers in to investigate (After 2012, Loki can either be good or bad in this situation)

- After either a binge night with the entire gang or some Akaridion Tech mixing with Magic going horribly wrong: Arcadia's protectors land in the MCU universe (Begining in whichever movie), now they have to travel through the MCU timeline, make sure nobody dies, maybe make some tweaks, and hopefully not go on ANYMORE time-traveling adventures (Poor Douxie)

These are just some of the ideas but you guys get the point.

2. FRIENDSHIPS!!!!!!!! The number of friendships all going on at once would be beautiful and interesting. They could help each other fight baddies (physical or mental/emotional), get into trouble/pranks together, or just pure friendship. Here are some examples (Douxie mainly because he is amazing):

- As I mentioned earlier in this post, a Douxie & Loki & Darcy friendship! Darcy would find all the magic cool and rock out to music from Douxie, Loki and Douxie would bond over magic and try to learn each other's styles and all that! (This also applies to Dr. Strange and Wanda... so maybe a magic friend group???)

- Krel & Tony & Bruce & Jane & Selvig & Peter (Parker); SCIENCE BROS!!!!! Do I need to explain further? No.

- Krel & Tony & Douxie; MUSIC! Those 3 jamming out would be so great!

- Thor and Aja; I just feel like they would connect for some reason!

- Steve and Jim; Such angst and bonding possibilities so it's really hard not to put these two together!

- Dr Strange & Loki & Wanda & Claire & Douxie; MAGIC FRIEND GROUP! MAGIC FRIEND GROUP! MAGIC FRIEND GROUP! No more explanation needed.

Once again, you guys get the idea.

3. Possibilities to change canon - this is my take, but Takes Of Arcadia was done so beautifully that I don't really want canon changed in that universe (except for maybe more episodes and content because I love them but otherwise I love it!). But I feel like the Arcadia crew would actually change a lot of the MCU canon. With more people to help fight against the baddies, things can go differently. Maybe Claire realizes that Loki was being controlled in 2012 because she knows what it feels and looks like. Maybe the snap would have never happened? The possibilities (on both sides) are endless and so much could be changed. I think it would be interesting to see what would come out!

Either way, I spent 45 minutes writing this and I feel proud! So if any writers (if you want to) are fans of Tales of Arcadia and the MCU universe, why not give it a shot? It may end up being really cool, as quoting Merlin (gosh sometimes I just really hate him, and other times I like him?);

"A Wizard does not make mistakes, only unexpected possibilities"

Why not fuzzbucking try it? It wouldn't be a mistake, it would be an unexpected possibility!

Peace Out, and Keep It Crispy!

- Moi

[mt-words]

This post is my attempt at making sense of why people were dissapointed by c!Techno and c!Philza’s reactions to c!Tommy’s death yesterday and why their responses make sense both in character and in the meta.

I'm making it out of desire for understanding within the fandom. I tried to reach out to people who were upset with the reactions because the last thing I want is to strawman anyone, but if you feel like I misinterpreted or missed anything please feel free to add on in the comments. I’m not here to judge morality or anything, just to show why things make sense from each character’s point of view.

TLDR; cc!Philza and cc!Techno chose this reaction and they had meta reasons to do so. It’s ok for characters to process things in different ways. It makes sense from the characters points of view to have conflicting or negative feelings about c!Tommy. Head canons are awesome, keep drawing and writing whatever makes you happy! That said, the creators are the authority on their characters as canon goes. Please respect them.

(for this section all names refer to ccs unless otherwise specified) In Philza’s Friday stream he mentioned that he had put some thought into how his character would respond to c!Tommy’s death. Based on all the donation asks he’s been getting in relation to c!Tommy and his reactions, I think it’s safe to say Philza is tired of people seeing his character only as being a bad father for c!Tommy. If you listen to his reaction, before c!Ranboo breaks the news he clarifies who they’re talking about with “that chaotic child?” His reaction was chosen to try to help people recognize that any family relationship between the two is not canon.

This can be confusing. As someone pointed out to me yesterday, there are a lot of moments that make it seem like c!Philza and c!Tommy have an important relationship like the friendship emeralds and him checking on them after the butcher army execution. There are also moments from the same time period that make it seem like they are total strangers, such as c!Tubbo asking for his opinion on L’manburg and c!Philza saying he disagreed with some things their vice president was doing.

It feels to me like Philza was trying to leave things open so that Tommy had room to do whatever he wanted about their relationship, but because no one clarified and no defining actions were taken he decided that the only relation between their characters is knowing each other through c!Wilbur (which honestly makes the most sense for his choices). The actions he takes now are to solidify that choice, and it feels like I’m still getting mixed signals on Tommy’s end but I’m sure the creators will work it out between themselves. Whatever they decide on, I’ll just be enjoying the ride.

Also, Techno and Philza needed to react in similar ways or whichever one didn’t show grief the way people wanted was going to be attacked with the evidence of the others reaction used to show why they were a terrible person.

(after this point names refer to the characters unless specified) People have talked about reactions to grief far better than I can, so in relation to it being ok for the characters to have different reactions than what people might expect I give you three posts if you’re interested. Heads up, the tone of the second post is a lot more vitriolic than what I normally go for.

Neurodivergence in relation to grief and other reactions

Denial being a valid response to grief (with neurodivergent understanding thrown in)

The lines that people are quoting from their responses weren’t their first reactions. Niki, Philza, and Techno all initially responded with shock and disbelief.

The final point I want to talk about is that it’s understandable for the characters to have mixed or negative feelings about Tommy. Disclaimer, having negative feelings about someone doesn’t generally mean you should celebrate their death, but these reactions seem more to me like a mix of disbelief and “eh, it’s not my problem. Moving on.” Also take into account the linked posts.

As discussed, cc!Philza has chosen for his relationship with Tommy to be that he was a friend of Wilbur and Phil didn’t know him very well, but now that Tommy betrayed his best friend he doesn’t really care about him. Philza is ancient. He’s seen a lot of people die, it doesn’t make sense for him to have a super strong reaction to someone’s death if he doesn’t have much attachment to them.

Techno is a bit more complicated here, people were disappointed in his lack of mourning because we know he has genuinely cared about Tommy in the past. May I propose that that genuine care made Tommy’s betrayal (at least from Techno’s point of view) hurt worse? Technoblade shows that he cares about people through actions because it’s hard for him to open up and make himself vulnerable, especially to someone who (from his perspective) has already betrayed him in the past. He shows care by helping people survive and succeed, both giving them the tools to do so and fighting by their side.

On the day of the green festival he gave Tommy his axe as a sign of trust, defended him and his integrity from a large group of enemies, and was even willing to go after Dream to help him accomplish his goals. Within less than a minute of deciding he didn’t want to fight for the disks, Tommy left Techno to fend for himself from that same group of enemies and refused to give back the weapon that had been given to show trust saying that he was “worthy” of it. I think it was the best decision he could have made under the circumstances, but you have to understand how that looks to Techno. So yes, he cared, but every expression of that care was thrown back in his face the second he wasn’t useful (or that’s the reasoning Techno took from it, we can see that it was more because of Tommy’s care for Tubbo). Then when he confronted Tommy on Doomsday Tommy still brought everything back to the disks.

Since then they have only interacted through Tommy apologizing in a way that seems pretty insincere (from Technoblade's pov) as a distraction while stealing from Techno and the invitation to the hotel. People are always talking about character development, let Techno have more than two streams to try to get through all those complicated emotions. Of course he isn’t going to process all of this in front of two people he only recently started to trust.

We know that Tommy has regrets on how their relationship ended, but Techno doesn’t know that and even if he did it would make sense for him to have reservations.

I’m not trying to say anyone is a good person because of how they reacted, their failings make them interesting. This post was made out of genuine confusion that people expected or wanted different reactions from what we got. I hope this clears things up a little, please feel free to share your own opinions!

[painted-crow]

Submission time #20

hello again :) i'm confused about my secondary and i'd like a second opinion. 

Hi there!

i'm torn between bird secondary and snake secondary. i'm honestly not sure which one feels right to me. whichever one isn't my actual secondary is DEFINITELY a model i lean on when i can't use my main. i'll go through some quiz questions to get the ball rolling. 

when you succeed, how influential are the people around you?

i think they're sometimes part of it. i'm not surrounded by caretaker badgers, that's for sure, and i don't get a lot of help with things like school or my personal projects, but i have people i can reach out to to edit my essay or give me a new perspective.

Ok, cool...

do people consider you charismatic?

well, i usually open conversation with asking people a random question from the thousands of get-to-know-you questions i've memorized, and after that they seem to take a shine to me. i also quickly figure out what to mention and what to steer away from. i learned how to read microexpressions after watching a tv show called lie to me and googling the guy it was based on. i don't know if i'm charismatic, per-say, but people seem to like me for some reason.

I see why you're considering Bird!

do people consider you trustworthy?

that depends on what impression i give them. i try to be.

...and I see why you're considering Snake!

do people consider you flexible? 

absolutely, physically and metaphorically. i make it a habit to tie myself up in knots to sit in chairs. though, once i've decided on a course of action, they'll have to convince me to stop (unless it's something that would hurt them physically or emotionally, of course).

I don't think physical flexibility has much to do with your Houses xD unless that's a Bird skill you're trying to keep sharp lol

The other thing, that almost sounds like Lion charginess? Or a Bird determined to make a plan work...

do you like going into situations with a plan? 

i'm fine with having a plan, but i prefer to keep my plans to myself, so when i inevitably deviate from that plan and breach into my backups it's not a surprise. i've gotten really good at predicting human behavior, though, so my plans are pretty accurate. 

You're starting to sound like a Rapid-Fire Bird.

when you spot a metaphorical obstacle in your path, what do you do? 

of the answers provided, i think trying to avoid it would be my choice, but it always depends on the situation. if i can solve it, i will. if i can avoid it, i will. if there's a risk to me or someone i love then i'll DEFINITELY avoid it, unless avoidance would make it worse, in which case i'll try to solve it again. my brain is one big decision tree. 

You're *really* starting to sound like a Rapid-Fire Bird.

how do you feel about shortcuts?

is it something i care about? if no, then sure. if yes, then will it be detrimental to what i'm trying to accomplish? if yes, then skip the shortcut. if no, have at it. 

when your plan fails, what do you do?

i either have another plan or make one.

So far this seems a lot more Bird than Snake. It looks like your Snake is more like a tool you use, something you've studied and learned to work with, than something that innately comes to your hand as a first resort.

do you think of relationships as something you invest in?

yeah, i think so. sometimes i purposefully make myself more endearing to an authority figure so when i inevitably screw up i can play on that relationship and get what i want. the same for if someone has information or assets that i want or could use.

do you act differently in different groups?

yeah, and i don't feel in-genuine or wrong because of it. it can get tiring to talk to people, tho, but that's just an introvert thing, not a product of my sorting. 

And there's the Snake. It is there.

as far as bird secondary, i love to collect hobbies, skills, knowledge, and experiences. i will work doggedly and without pause to learn something i am truly interested in (but sadly that same drive doesn't appear for the work i'm assigned in school, i've reworked my schedule for next year so i can summon some of it for classes i'm interested in, of which there are many). i love that kind of learning, and i love explaining it to others. 

as for snake secondary, i'm rather good at manipulation. i can assess a person within moments of meeting them and predict what they'll do. i can switch my tactics in a moment. i'm very good at arguing and negotiating. 

Your Snake seems to have a more specific use than your Bird. You talk about your Bird as a general purpose thing, whereas your Snake is more like "I've learned to read people and work with and around them, and to adjust my plans as I go along." I think your Snake is the model.

thank you so much for the help, again. i love the system and i love the way you use it :))))

Thank you! Hope this helps ^^

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

“Second Draft” - Rewrite the Story, Rework a Character!

I’ve been exploring the idea of the Actor and how best to write him lately. While doing so, I grew curious about the possibility of him slightly altering Damien during the time the ‘DAMIEN’ animation is set. So this is considering the idea that Mark still exists, but the Actor is the mask he wears and the role he plays.

Word Count: 1,522

-

This world - this place where neither death nor time exist - is a WONDERFUL setting for one as creative as the Actor! It was like the days in theatre, where the stage was empty yet filled with possibility. It was a blank canvas where any colours could be thrown on to help create something unique. It was the humming of a melody that could become a prelude to a great symphony. Here, anything could happen, if he so wished.

Somewhere in this timeless place hid the twins. Neither were attached to their own bodies, so they drifted deeper than most would. It must be through sheer carelessness, or even recklessness! The only one who could save them from the peril was Actor himself… But Celine had worked to make it impossible to properly locate them. He wanted to find Damien, but he only ever found Celine brandishing a weapon. However, she was only in a certain area that was hidden by an impassable wall. Unfortunately for her, it only brought about a curious Actor to see what lay in the area he now couldn’t reach.

In the time this game of ‘cat and mouse’ took place, Actor made an interesting discovery about the younger twin. Unlike Celine, Damien was simply chucked out of his body when it was possessed - his soul was still alive. Actor still had an opportunity to tweak Damien’s ‘character’, which he needed to. Damien couldn’t stay here, he needed to get back into the world! Not only that, he had to experience change to ensure further survival. Damien would perish in the world beyond the ‘bubble’. As he was, Damien was unsuitable to survive in the world Actor wanted for him. As it was, it was very good, but it was akin to a first draft that needed editing. It was unsuitable for the tale Actor had in mind. If he played his cards right, he could make the perfect plan to set in motion the new changes in such a subtle way that none would notice. What better way to help set the scene?

-

Deep within the abyss, there lay an empty pocket, like a chamber. The "walls" slowly expand and contract to bring a sense of life to the timeless place. When Mark first stumbled upon the room, it terrified him. Now, it calmed Actor. How could it not? That slow pulsing matched the rhythm of deep breaths that one would take to try and shake off the nerves. Perhaps the ones that resided in this place wanted Actor to succeed and granted access to a space that was ideal for the creative process! Actor closed his eyes and with a breath, waved his hands.

The walls trembled and pulled back to double the space available. Before him manifested a ghostly figure of the Mayor, brought forward by the memories within the body he now owned. Actor's eyes snapped open to the sight with delight. What a great starting point! It was a perfect replica, but this was not the final result. Oh no! This was merely the start, the blueprint! He snapped his fingers, and a projection of a list shuddered into existence on a screen. It was an information sheet, like when Mark used to work on characters for projects he worked on in better days. Basic facts about the Mayor appeared, but were pushed upward as Actor flicked his wrist. This wasn't what he wanted. Repeating the action manifested the Mayor's personality, neatly summarised and categorised into positive and negative traits:

 Positives - Charming, Polite, Trusting, Honest, Loyal

Negatives - Short-Tempered, Proud, Stubborn

"Such a neat, balanced character sheet. But we can't mess too much with your characterisation," Actor murmured as he began to pace around the apparition. "No, no… We cannot afford to lose your charm. I want the audience to love you, flaws and all. I want them to feel conflicted on their opinion of you… If you are too heartless, you become flat and little more than a parody of yourself, and I care about you too much for that." He paused as he eyed the list again, only to shake his head and resume pacing. "You may be doomed to fail against the heroes, but the audience should want to feel some sympathy or care toward you - or love to hate you, whichever works. But right now… Oh Damien, you are just too -" Standing in front of the figure, Actor rested his weight on one leg. His left hand propped the other arm, and his right hand clicked fingers together as words escaped him. "- How is that fans refer to someone like you… 'Soft'? 'Babey'? 'Cinnamon roll'? That isn't a good starting point for any villain, and you deserve better than to merely be a tragic character." 

That comment made him pause and step back. That did describe Damien rather well, didn't it? Mark had always thought Damien a sensitive soul, one who didn't deserve the pain that the world was keen to throw at him. Why condemn him to an eternity of suffering behind that wall and whatever was going on there? An outsider who had no trained abilities or experience in a place like this would be broken and shattered before they could return to the world beyond the void. Mark knew Damien well enough to know that if Damien was able to escape, he wouldn't mentally survive the transition back with his "still-living soul". Plus, it was likely Celine that was the only reason Damien still "survived" to this point (if he could assume that was why she kept hunting him). But Damien wouldn't survive like that forever. The moment Celine's powers ran out, they would both be doomed. Damien would be caught under the control of the creatures that lurked unseen or would be driven mad, while Celine… well, that wasn't something Mark wanted to dwell on.

It might not be the 'right' thing to do, but Mark didn't have any better ideas. They had long crossed the point of solving things amicably (body theft might have burned that bridge rather spectacularly). If Damien had to adapt by playing a role that didn't belong to him… so be it.

He took a slow breath to gather his thoughts and regain his focus. Then, Actor stepped forward. 

"I'm afraid your personality needs to be tweaked a fraction. Not too much to lose your sense of self, but enough to allow hunting me be a sensible option." After all, what good was a villain that had no drive? Damien was always a gentle soul. He would avoid causing hurt or bother to another. That needed to change. So then he needed to be strong-willed and focused, but to the point where it would be a detriment. He pulled a pencil out of his pocket and began scribbling on the screen floating before him until the list now read thusly:

Positives - Charming, Polite, Trusting, Honest, Loyal

Negatives - Short-Tempered, Proud, Stubborn, Obsessive

If Damien still believed there was a chance of good in his old friend, he might lose that drive to escape. Actor needed to be sure that Damien wouldn't fall so easily and blindly trust.

His hand reached out again to make another addition, only to freeze. Mark forced himself to hold back, to the point of once again breaking character. These were merely the bare bones of Damien's personality, but he couldn't remove another positive trait. Despite how he tried to convince himself otherwise, this felt… wrong. If it were anyone else he wouldn't feel this bubbling guilt. It wasn't right to alter Damien like this. But if he wanted Damien to escape and survive as he was, then he couldn't make another change. If he wanted Damien to live, then Mark would allow himself to become live bait that Damien could hunt. Love might be a force stronger than human nature, but so was hate. That could be his driving force.

He waved his hand and let the list disappear. The illusion of Damien shivered and faded away as the minor changes passed to the slumbering mayor. It was only a temporary solution, really. The beauty about people was that they weren't characters on a page. Their personality wasn't confined to some choice words in neat lists. People were far more complicated and nuanced than that. He hadn't erased the word "trusting", which meant it could be rebuilt over time.

"You can do it," Mark continued his thoughts aloud, "I know you can. Time and time again you defied the odds and emerged victorious. Do it this one last time, old chap. And anyway, you won't be alone. I'm sure you could find our dear Will if you are stuck, but the Attorney will be there waiting for you. They can help you through the changes and bring that light back into the world." 

It all seemed so simple and perfect, as Mark once again put back on his mask and left the chamber with a merry hum.  It would be perfect once Damien was reunited with his dear Attorney!

A shame he was unaware of their fate...

[theartofbeinganeldar]

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 5

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in Middle-Earth, Thranduil summoned a council of powerful Elves and wizards to see what should be done with you, expressing his wishes of wanting you out of his kingdom. The council decides to send you with Legolas on an orc-hunting mission, and if the Elves of the company that he deems trustworthy-- one of them being his own wife-- say that you've proven yourself worthy of staying among the Mirkwood Elves, then you can stay. The problem is actually managing to succeed...

Chapter No.: Chapter 5

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color [lad/lass/y-o]= lad/laddie, lass/lassie, young one

Notes:  I know I've been trying to keep this story gender-nuetral, but dwarves have a habit of referring to people (Even Gimli to Legolas, though he's a lot younger than our golden boy) as "lad/laddie" "lass/lassie." Or even "young one," I've heard Balin call Bilbo. So for this story, I'll just put [lad/lass/y-o] in parenthesese, and you can just hear whichever one you choose. :)

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir LIVES, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC maybe Bilbo you won't know for awhile, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

The Elves stopped just outside the northern border of the Mirkwood, to the west, to wait for the dwarves. But apparently the little guys just didn't give a shit.

The whole group camped for three days, then three more days, and by the end of it, you were even growing impatient. It was mainly the younger Elves that shared your impatience, but Elves like Elvenqueen and Erestor and Haldir seemed to think that they had all the time in the world, la la fucking la...

Legolas seemed in-between, irritated at the dwarves for being so late but not really caring in the long run. You tried several times to approach him and apologize, but he always seemed to disappear at the most inconvenient times imaginable.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity-- you were getting sick and tired of frolicking-- the sign of a camp on a distant ridge, a couple of days away, gave the Elves hope that the dwarves finally got their heads out of their asses and decided to show up. A couple of Elves seemed to puff some horses out of thin air, and galloped off to meet them.

"We get horses?!" You'd screeched, and wheeled on your friends-- Tauriel hadn't come, so Lindir, Elros, and pissy Blue-Eyes were the only actual friends here you had, even though all the other Elves were very nice to you. "Why the fuck didn't anybody tell me we got horses?!" You could've been riding to pass this time. Not that you knew how to ride a horse, but that wasn't the point.

Elros blinked at you in disbelief. "Those Elves awaited us on the border with horses enough for all. You have not seen them before?"

"No, dammit, or I would've been riding to pass the time!" You hadn't noticed them, because a certain Rivendell Elf had forced you to learn Elvish... You rounded on him. "Lindir! If you hadn't made me sit here and learn Elvish, I could've been riding!"

Lindir stared at you, then slowly raised an eyebrow challengingly. "You do not know how to ride, do you?"

You frowned. "That's not the point!"

Both Elros and Lindir chuckled amongst themselves. You huffed theatrically. "Fine, jackasses. I'm off to pet one of those sweet animals. You can teach me Elvish later."

Before either of them could stop you, you all but ran off, hoping not to slam into anybody or trip or cause something to fall that'd cause a huge mess. You were prone to all of them. And there were horses, enough for everybody there, and three very fat ponies that you almost started squealing over. Those, you guessed, were for the dwarves.

But one horse, out of all of them, caught your eye.

A sleek, gorgeous black, with a bright white star on his forehead. He was built for speed, like a racehorse, but he was sturdy, too. You looked for something to mark him as belonging to a certain Elf-- because you knew Elves loved horses, and that like all horse people, even look at their horse wrong and you make it on their kill list-- but they all seemed randomly selected out of somebody's stables, dressed in the same dark leather tack and saddlebags.

"Oooooh," You approached him quietly, and he nickered softly at you, his dark eyes scanning you and the Elves and the other horses warily. He seemed only recently tamed. "You, fine sir, are gorgeous."

"I beg your pardon?"

You promptly fell backward. Shit! Talking horses, too?! "What the fuck?!"

Legolas, with a smug smirk plastered onto his absurdly perfect face, sailed into existence from around a dapple gray mare. "Valar tell me you were talking to the horse."

"No, I can tell you I was talking to the horse," You sighed in relief, shaking your head as you stood. "But don't worry your platinum head, Goldie, all Elves are equally beautiful creatures."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, mellon."

You stroked the black's face gently. "No seriously though, he's beautiful. Does he have a name?"

Blue-Eyes didn't look up from brushing his mare's mane. "Most of the horses came from Rivendell and Rohan, which they bought on the journey. The rest came from the Woodland stables. I doubt you will find his name, if he has one."

You felt a little disappointed that you couldn't ask if you could have the horse. You'd always wanted one, but for... Personal reasons that had to do with your biological father, you never got one. "Well... I'll just refer to him as The Black, then."

Blue-Eyes turned around, and started inspecting his tack. "Hm... He seems to have come from our own stables." He stroked behind the stallion's ears, and the horse snuffed appreciatively.

"Legolas," You said quickly, realizing you should catch him when you have the chance. "I'm sorry for not telling you about me leaving if this didn't go well. It wasn't my choice; Thranduil wanted me to go with Elrond that day, but I asked if I could stay. He sent me on this mission to see if I was worthy enough to stay in his Palace of Fabulous. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but... I didn't think anyone would care if I left."

Blue-Eyes got a confused look. "Why... Why would you think that?"

You gave him a sad, lopsided smile. "No one has before."

Recognition, then regret, flashed across Blue-Eyes's face. "Oh, Sairen... I am truly sorry, mellon nin, I should not have been angry with you. I didn't realize... I should have, and I should not have been upset with you. I just... I do care if you leave, and, if I'm honest, I do not want you to go."

You patted his shoulder. "Just so long as you forgive me."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "Of course, mellon, if you can forgive me."

You grinned. "Forgiven." You nudged him with your shoulder. "I'm just glad we're friends again. I've never had so many people be nice to me, but only a handful of you I consider my friends."

"And who among us hold that honor?" He asked teasingly.

Oh shit... You'd seen movies where somebody's asked this question, and if the askee shows even the slightest bit of hesitation or interest in any of the friends, asker became pissed and/or jealous. Wait... Why do I care about that? You turned to him with a huge smile. "Well you and Tauriel, DUH, and then there's Lindir and Elros now. Just wait, I'll be friends with Haldir and Erestor too, and then your mom-- by the time I'm finished I'll even make your dad like me!"

Legolas chuckled. "I hope so, mellon."

"By the way," You said, and reached down to grab a handful of grass to give to the Black. "Lindir and Elros are trying-- and failing-- to teach me Elvish. I'm a horrible student, namely because I'm Elvish-challenged. Still, I'm learning, and I want you to teach me something very specific."

He looked confused. "What?"

You smiled. "Teach me the history of Middle-Earth! Everything you can! I can't read Elvish, but you can, and you know the stories pretty well, I'm guessing. So start with how the world began and continue on from there."

Legolas smiled. "Very well, Sairen." In one quick movement, he mounted his mare, then reached down for your hand. "Come. We will ride, and I will tell you all that I know."

You took his hand, feeling a spark from static you'd built up from petting the horse. He hefted you effortlessly up behind him, then urged his horse into a canter as you rode away from camp.

***

Needless to say, you fell off twice.

Once, you let go of Legolas for just a second as his mare jumped a small log, and whoops, there you go. After, still not learning your lesson, you let go of him while trotting beside a river and the horse's gait made you slide right off before you even realized what was happening.

Then you learned not to let go of Blue-Eyes, mostly because he laughed his Elvish ass off every time you fell, after making sure you were okay.

As for world history, it was all very confusing. There were like six different versions of somebody and a hundred different other guys shared the same name and places and descendants and confusing time periods and just ugh. That was one thing you remembered from Earth: Tolkien's works had always been confusing.

Long story short, though, there was a guy called Eru, or Illuvatar, and he created a bunch of friends through thought. These friends of his became the Valar, and Illuvatar created the whole universe-- Ea-- through more thought. Then he had all his friends-- fourteen of them-- sing, and they created the vision of Valinor, then Arda, and the mischief-maker was Melkor, brother of god-king Manwe.

Now, after a long bout of building and making and stuff they created Valinor and Tirion and Mandos and all that, and they created birds and beasts, but Melkor got jealous and tried to ruin it at every fucking turn. Seriously, the guy didn't give them a break.

Then, Aule, another Valar, who made a lot of shit, wanted to have a bunch of kids so created the little guys known as dwarves, and made them to be especially tough and hardy and stuff because they were supposed to be around during the time of Melkor. But, Illuvatar appeared in his living room one night and said "I think the fuck not my kids come first" which made Aule reeeaaaaaallly upset, so he tried to kill the dwarves (Supreme parenting 2.0!), but then Illuvatar said "wait idiot they can still live" so Aule put them in stasis-mode for like several million years, until somebody "accidentally" unleashed some new Elves into Middle-Earth-- which had no moon or sun.

So duh Orome shows up, says "hi" and everybody runs for their lives except for a few brave souls, who round everybody back up. So three particular Elves, Finwe, Lenwe, and Ingwe, who you're pretty sure were brothers, went to Valinor with Orome to see if it was suitable for Elves-- and it was pretty much Elven paradise, or Vegas or something.

THUS CAME THE FIRST SUNDERING OF THE ELVES, or, that's how dramatically Leggy told it; the Teleri came to rest on the shores of Aman instead of going still further (Who earlier had split further and some became the Sindar, who had stayed in Beleriand, and the Silvan Elves, who'd stayed in the forests of Beleriand or something, of which Blue-Eyes was the first.), the Nandor who got scared of mountains and refused to go further, and the Noldor, who came all the way to Valinor.

Once actually in Aman, the Elves loved it there. They were in paradise. Water. Books. Flowers. Sparkles. Everything an Elf dreamed of. They built a city on a huge hill called Tirion upon Tuna (No you refrained from laughing.), made of silver and gold and more sparkles, and there was lots of peace, until Melkor was finally caught and chained.

Peace, lots of peace, boring shit, more peace, then BAM, the idiot Valar let the bastard go, like dumbasses. Melkor hadn't changed of course, no one does. He started rumors like some crazy gossiper and started up a whole bunch of shit. At that time, this guy called Feanor was around. He was like, the Elf of Elves, but he had some breathtaking anger management issues because after his mom died, his dad waited like a couple thousand years then got married again, and he definitely did not like his stepmom.

Or his two half-brothers.

They were pretty cool guys, Fingolfin and Finarfin, and each brother had like a dozen kids each, one of Finarfin's, get this, was Galadriel. One of Thingol's kin? Celeborn. Elrond? Yeah, he's the grandson of Beren and Luthien, the son of Earendil, raised by Maglor, related to Turin, and his grandparents were Tuor and Idril, the latter of which was the daughter of Turgon, who was the son of Fingolfin, who was the brother of Feanor, so yeah.

Holy fucking shit. Their god stories were kinda hard not to believe when people still existed who could vouch for them.

So this Feanor guy created a trio of sparklies beyond all sparklies, called, the Silmarils. He got a mild case of dragonsickness, boasting and hoarding and showing off and gloating, but Melkor made him think his brothers were trying to steal his sparkles, which, fuck no, how dare they, and he made his brothers think that Feanor was trying to usurp their father Finwe's throne.

Damn that guy knew how to stir up some shit.

One of Melkor's chief servants? Sauron, the Dark Lord, previously known as Sauron the Sparkly Maiar Who Wouldn't Hurt A Butterfly. Balrogs? Yup, Melkor made them, too.

Basically, Feanor started a revolution against the Valar and Melkor, who he called Morgoth, because Melkor was just too pretty of a name for such a bad guy, who stole every single light with the help of a hideously large spider called Ungoliant, killed Finwe, then took the Silmarils.

Feanor was piiiiiiissed.

So the Noldor left Tirion, killed some guys that tried to reason with them that turned out to be Elves, the Teleri, got cursed by Mandos, then Feanor, his sons, and a couple hundred who he knew didn't question him set off on stolen boats and burned them when they reached shore, leaving everybody else-- Galadriel included-- to walk the fucking Helcaraxe, a snowy strait wasteland, to get to Beleriand, which was filled with sparkling twinkle-toes Elves and much-less-serious dwarves-- who were friends.

There was also a good portion of the story dedicated to Turin, Beren and Luthien, and the couple known as Maedhros and Fingon, who you instantly adored: Maedhros, chained to a jagged cliffside for who-knows-how-long, and Fingon, who wanted so badly to save him, and eventually carried up to the cliffside by an eagle; he had to cut off Maedhros's hand, but the story was so heartfelt you were still internally squealing about it.

Yeah so that happened, and then a bunch of war and slaying and something about a Fall of Gondolin and the Children of Hurin and Beren and Luthien leading up to a whole lot of human-caused shit with Numenor, and then Illuvatar blew everything up and restarted, essentially. Toward the end of the second age, Sauron (The fucker had somehow lived through all that evil-cleansing shit.), in the form of a fancy-prancy Elf named Annatar, suggested the making of the Rings of Power. Three, a smart guy who hadn't fallen for any of Annatar's shit, Celebrimbor, hid for the Elves, while Sauron/Annator helped forge the rest in order to control them, making one ring, above all.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the dwarf  lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for mortal men doomed to die,

And one for the Dark Lord on his Dark Throne,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie,

One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

That was totally cool and stuff, and a handful of well-known Elves-- Gil-Galad, Glorfindel (Who'd uh, previously died due to a balrog trying to touch his hair.), Elrond-- and you're betting Galadriel, Celeborn, and Thranduil-- plus a bunch of well-known humans, lead by Isildur's dad, Elendil, and probably some dwarves, all came together with their armies and formed the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, totally discounting every dwarf that was there.

The nine kings who'd been given rings? Yeah, those were cursed, and because Men are greedy, they became shadows of their former selves, black-clad servants of Sauron, known as the Ringwraiths-- or, even cooler, Nazgul.

So there was a huge battle. Gil-Galad fell. Isildur's dad fell. Isildur cut off the One Ring from Sauron's hand, Sauron faded away, and Elrond took Isildur into Mount Doom to destroy the Ring. But he was weak, and was seduced by its power, and Elrond just stood there screaming his name apparently.

So there'd been roughly a couple thousand years of peace, and nobody knew where the Ring was. You doubted it was anywhere safe or secure, and much less that Sauron was actually dead.

Also, the Elves were fading. That scared you.

"What?! Great, I got sucked into a world where I'm just gonna die!"

Legolas laughed. "No, mellon nin, we are fading. Not dying. We just long for home, and our kind is slowly leaving Middle-Earth. This world becomes gray to us after so long of living here. We go across the sea, to the Undying Lands of Aman and Valinor."

"Okay," You leaned around him to see his face. "What is it with you Elves and the sea?! What's so important about it, if even you've never seen it yourself?! I certainly haven't seen any kind of ocean or sea."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "The first sound ever heard by the Elves was flowing water. It calls us home, in a way. It is said by my people that in water there yet lives the echo of the Music of the Ainur that first created this world."

"Huh," You said, tilting your head. "Guess that does make it really interesting..."

The sound of another pair of hoofbeats, coming up from behind, nearly made you fall off of the horse again. "Orcs?!"

Blue-Eyes grinned smugly. "Orcs do not ride horses, Sairen."

"Duh. I knew that. Fuck you."

"I'd rather you not without my consent."

"That's not always what it means!" You hid your blush by moving so your head was behind his back. Damn Elves...

It was Erestor, riding a gorgeous flaxen stallion. "Legolas, Elvenqueen calls upon the company of [Y/N]."

Nervously, you peered around Blue-Eyes's side. "Is that bad?"

Legolas spurred his own mare into a canter as he followed after Erestor. "Not in the least, mellon."

When you returned to camp, Erestor and Legolas took care of the horses, while they sent you on ahead-- by yourself, to a scary yet badass Elvenqueen you might glare you out of existence if you breathed wrong, like the wonderful friends they were-- to the Elvenqueen.

She sat by one of the center campfires, surrounded by a drove of Elves eagerly listening to whatever she was saying. Even in the firelight, she looked really young, but really regal and noble and even though she didn't have a wrinkle on her body you could tell she'd been around for eons.

All went silent when you approached. Nervously, you bowed. "Y-you wished to see me, your majesty?"

"Yes," She said, and waved to a place on a log across from her. "Sit."

You weren't terrified or anything. Just 'cause she decided not to skin you alive a couple days ago didn't mean she couldn't change her mind. You caught a glimpse of Elros in the crowd, and he gave you a reassuring nod: Don't worry, you won't die yet.

Comforting.

"Tell something of your world," She said.

You balked. Hadn't Thranduil told her everything you'd said? They seemed like the type of couple to do just that. Hadn't Legolas at least given her some information? They seemed close. You swallowed hard, readjusting yourself on the log. "What uh... What do you want to know?"

She thought for a second. "A tale."

You shifted. Sure, that was specific. You'd read billions of books (Well, maybe not quite that much...), but you couldn't remember any that Elves would want to hear aside from series’, like Temeraire, or The Gospel of Loki, or Eon the Last Dragoneye. Maybe you could use a movie, but Marvel and Transformers were too long and in-depth. You thought for a minute. You didn't even know how to give a much-shortened version of Eragon.

But out of everything, it was your best bet to tell a story and be safe from explaining your world's past, or things of your world, or cultures, mythology, or the concept of giant robots from another planet that hide by transforming into cars. Eragon was the closest thing you had to Lord of the Rings that you could remember right off the top of your head that was most similar; it had some of the same beasts, like dragons and werewolves, it was set in the same genre and had dwarves and Elves and Men, even if urgals were a new one... Then again, you weren't sure how they'd take dragons being good instead of hoarding assholes.

So, you got started.

As a hobby, you wrote a lot of fanfiction, which had mainly been for Lord of the Rings; you couldn't remember any of it now, of course, but you'd also started your own fantasy stories that had never been published. You were good with storytelling.

There were points where you had to pause and remember what happened next, or try to find words that explained the guilt or sadness or general feels of the story, but you did pretty good. By the time you were finished, the sun had came up and it was already noon, and the Elves that'd gone off to see if that camp was for dwarves were coming back, with a couple of pony-sized rams with shaggy coats carrying three tiny buff hairy guys.

Elvenqueen regally stood. "My thanks, [Y/N]. That was a wonderful story." She sailed through the ranks of the Elves, which parted before her like reeds to a boat.

"Is that a true story?" Lindir asked you, eyes wide.

You scoffed. "If it were true, I'd've had a dragon named Saphira or Shruikan. I have no dragon." You clapped your hands together. "So! When do I get to meet the dwarves?"

Blue-Eyes-- who'd joined later in the story, and another Elf caught him up on what was going on while he half-listened to what else was going on-- mockingly rolled his eyes. "Patience, mellon. I cannot think of any Eldar whom would willingly want to make the acquaintance of a dwarf."

You gave him a pointed look. "What about Thingol's people?"

Silence. Finally, Elros busted out laughing, and clapped the now-stunned Legolas on the back. "They have a point, mellon!"

But Blue-Eyes was right. It was only a couple hours before you were sought out by a Lothlorien Elf, who told you Thorin wanted to meet "the one who hailed from far." Apparently, nobody here felt like saying "the person that came from another planet." Not as mysterious, apparently.

So you followed the Elf to a tent, much smaller than those of the Elves, and a lot less colorful and, dare you say it, fashionable. Literally, it just looked like a bunch of old dark-colored blankets had been stitched together haphazardly. But, if you looked at the tools and tack of the rams, they were just doing it in spite of the Elves, because they had really good craftsmanship.

You weren't sure what to do. "Uhhh... Knock knock?"

You belatedly remembered one of the dwarves was royalty. "Sirs?"

The flap of the tent opened, and you got your first look at a dwarf.

He was an older dwarf, with a long graying beard and frizzy hair, and huge round ears. He looked you up and down in a brief but kind inspection, and, came to the very educated conclusion of, yup, not your normal Elf.

The dwarf smiled. "Ah, you must be [Y/N]." He sounded more Scottish than anything, and you were instantly relaxed. "The one from a far place. Not a normal Elf, then?"

You shook your head. "No sir. Just got here about a month and a half ago, actually."

He raised a hand. "Now now, we are all a part of this expedition, and I don't like being referred to as 'sir.' I am Balin to you."

You couldn't help but smile. He was a lovable little guy, a very sweet old dwarf. "Okay then. But, uh... Should I call Thorin or Dwalin 'sir'?"

Balin thought about that. "Ehhh... Thorin, yes. Dwalin? No."

You nodded, and Balin lead you inside the tent. It was pretty cozy, with three logs covered in roughish furs for makeshift beds. A small cooking fire was set up in the middle, and two other dwarves sat by it, halting their dwarvish conversation when they seen you and Balin. "This is they," Said Balin, in an introductory way. "[Y/N], child of [M/N], from far places."

The dwarf who you assumed was Dwalin-- buff, sleeveless, and with viscious muttonchops that made him look like Wolverine-- scoffed. "Tell me," Holy shit, he sounds like Leonidas from 300! "[Y/N], do you perhaps come from the Iron Hills?"

"Iron... What?" You were confused. Hadn't any of the Elves talked about you being from Earth? "N...No. I come from a place called Earth."

"Dwalin," Said the other guy, who radiated kingship, authority, and regal dwarfish-ness. He didn't take his eyes off you, like you were a predator ready to strike that he was wary of. He had a beard, but braided neatly down, and long dark hair. He wore dark navy blue and brown fur armor, and his voice was like, super deep. "They are not of the Iron Hills."

"Uh... Thank you?"

Thorin stood, and you bowed. "I'd uh, use some really respectful greeting, but I don't know any in dwarvish yet, so, it's an honor to meet you, Thorin, son of Thrain."

Thorin nodded. "I would say the same, if I knew you deserved any honor," He replied. Ouch.

You didn't know what to say. He obviously had no love for Elves. "What uh... What made you think I was from the Iron Hills, wherever that is?"

"To the east of Erebor, [lad/lass/y-o]," Balin informed you, and Dwalin whacked him so hard upside the head you could've swore they broke something.

"Oh. What made you think--"

Thorin looked at you with a look that said stfu so you did. "The dwarves of Erebor think little of Elven magic, or wizards. We did not believe a portal strong enough to pull someone from another world could exist. And as I have discovered, it does not."

You were confused. "What do you mean? You mean the ears? Those were latex, I swear, but suddenly they weren't. You can ask Thranduil, I'm not from these parts."

Thorin glared at you. "I would rather not converse with the Elvenking. He does not hear the word of others. As for you... It is clear you are merely an Elf of strange upbringing, who lost themselves in the wrong woods."

"Okay," You were starting to get irritated. You loved Middle-Earth, but you weren't from Middle-Earth. You didn't belong, like always, and you were ready to defend your position. In Game of Thrones--you'd never gotten far in that series, and had only started the books-- Tyrion Lannister told Jon Snow to armor himself in what people thought his weakness was, so that it would no longer be his weakness. That's exactly what you'd done over the course of your life, and you weren't about to lose that now. "Listen, I can show you the damn portal. It wasn't made by Elves, or wizards, or any of that other shit. The inscription on the portal came from the time of Gondolin, if that means anything to you. Do I talk like an Elf, to you? Do I act like one? The Elves were ready to kill me, just because I breathed wrong near their damn trees after being chased by orcs on oversized dogs. If I weren't from another world, do you honestly think I'd have such elaborate stories?"

Behind Thorin, Balin patted his hands down, giving you the silent signal to shut up. Glacing at Thorin's pissed off face made you listen. "How am I to believe you?"

You made a face. "Don't you dwarves have any kind of lie-detecting abilites?"

Balin sighed. "None that we can think of, [lad/lass/y-o]."

You huffed in defeat. "Okay, okay, you know what? You dwarves are beyond stubborn, so I'll just tell you once: I come from another world. If you don't believe me, fine, but I'd actually like to make friends with dwarves, thank you very much."

"Oh!" Dwalin chuckled deeply. "Then they must not be an Elf, Thorin! None in their right mind would go cavorting with a dwarf!"

Thorin frowned. "Perhaps a spy... But wait... You are not of the Woodland Elves. I see that now."

You looked down at yourself. "Gee, what gave it away?"

"You carry yourself differently," He began to circle you, and you felt like you were being circled by a vulture. An angry vulture... "Most unlike them, or any Elf I have heard tale of. Whom were you raised by?"

"Uh, my mother," You quipped with a cocked eyebrow. "Her name is [M/N]."

"And where do your kin reside? With the Rangers of Dúnadain?"

"With the what? Is that some kind of club?"

"Club?" Thorin repeated. "You believe that to be a weapon?" He gave you a disbelieving look, and you sighed.

"No, no. Where I come from, a club is a group of people that gather together and talk about stuff they like, or try to run the schools or shit like that," You were trying to explain with excessive hand movements, but you only seemed to be freaking him out.

He narrowed his eyes. In a rough and rusty language that sounded like it could be dwarvish, he said something; you didn't even catch any of the words.

You stared at him blankly for a second. "Mae g'ovannen...?" You tried, wincing at your hopeless pronunciation of the words.

Thorin regarded you with a newfound look of awe. Behind him, Dwalin chuckled. "That, was his attempt at Elvish. And you did not understand what he said?"

You stared. "...No? Was I supposed to? Did you just say something important? Or insult me? Hey, I'm only just starting to learn Sindarin!"

Thorin's look of awe shifted to a scowl and a bitter smirk. "It was not Sindarin, I can assure you. It was Quendi, that of the Noldor, the only Elvish my people know."

"Quen-- Oh, I get it now. Different Elves, different languages, it's all coming together..." You swung your arms casually. "Ok, so, what'd you say?"

"I told you that you are an imposter, and no better than Orc-filth" Said Thorin absentmindedly, "Which would send any Elf into a fit of well-groomed rage."

You couldn't help yourself. You burst into a fit of giggles, making all three dwarves look at you weirdly. "I-I'm sorry," You wheezed, "'Well-groomed rage'; yeah, that's pretty much what they do!"

"What of this quest, then?" Challenged Thorin as he took a seat. He gestured for you to do the same. "If you are not of the Wood Elves, yet you are indeed Elven, why are you on this journey? What purpose do you have here?" He poured you a drink; you'd never really tasted ale or mead of any kind, and recoiled from the smell.

"In order for you to understand, I'd have to tell you the story," You told him, and he gestured for you to continue. So you did. "I fell from the highest branches of an oak tree playing a game with my family. It was a standard day. Standard, pointless life. A life in a dying world that was way too fucking overpopulated, in the wrong damn places. It was a twisted kind of home. I didn't like it, and did what I wanted, so people hated me. I was dressed as an Elf--hence the ears.

"I wake up in the middle of the night, still in the forest, and am suddenly being chased by orcs on the backs of oversized dogs with six-packs on their faces."

Thorin grew confused. "Six-pack? What is that?"

You patted your stomach. "Those rows of six square tight muscles you get on you stomach if you work out. Now lemme finish!

"I get caught up in a river, shot by an arrow, and am half-dead by the time the Elves arrive lead by Blue-Eyes-- uh, Legolas-- and they're ready to kill me, but because I'm pretty much dead and in their forest, I'm some kind of threat. Because they're real nice like that. Thranduil-- who I kindly refer to as, Lord Fabulous-- wanted Leggy to kill me on the spot. Blade to my neck and everything. Until I pointed out that I could go home if we found the portal and would never return by pain of death. Ouch, but whatever.

"So we look, find it, and surprise! Can't get through. Can never see my family again. Can never go home. Suddenly I'm a real Elf. I go into a kind of depression before I realize that this place was a fictional world from where I'm from, which I'd loved, but for some reason can't remember shit now." You pointed to him. "Your name is important. Very. I know that much. You do something really cool, probably.

"But the Council of Wisdomy Guys was summoned, and they decided that it would be best if I proved my worthiness to stay among the Wood Elves on this mission. No pressure!" You grinned maniacally. "What brings you here? I hear a certain gray-robed wizard?"

"Ah, yes," He sighed. "Gandalf. My father met with him whilst I was in the depths of Erebor, so I heard no word of it and could make no protest against it until my father told me that I was to travel with two of my choice to assist the Elves. I only tolerate this for my father's sake, and he claims this will be a good lesson for kingship one day. But when I heard word of someone from foreign lands, I feared it was the dwarves of the Iron Hills attempting some form of scheme. Never have they liked us, and they never shall."

You scoffed. "Yeah, well... Most of the Elves may not like you either, but some of them aren't so bad."

Dwalin choked on his bread. Balin gave you a sad look. "But they tried to kill you!"

You shrugged. "I'm used to getting awful treatment. And besides, now that they know me, I've made some friends. Tauríel, the Captain of the Guard; Lindir of Rivendell, and Elros son of Elrond... And then there's Blue-- Legolas."

"Why d'ya refer to him that way?" Dwalin demanded with a disgusted look.

You shrugged. "A nickname. Where I come from, it's a gesture of friendship. I call Lindir 'Lindy' and he hates it, I can tell."

Thorin snorted. "Well, [Y/N] of Earth... Should the Wood Elves refuse your company, Dale might make a nice, temporary placement until you find elsewhere."

You smirked, nodding slowly. "I heard that emphasis on temporary. Don't worry; I thank you for your hospitality, but Lord Elrond is staying at the palace until I return. If I fail, he'll take me back to Rivendell with him."

"Good. One less Elf on our borders to deal with."

"Oh screw off."

Thorin grinned bitterly, but waved a hand. "Begone, I am done with questioning you."

You scoffed, and Dwalin took your drink and guzzled it. to your shock and amazement. Out of the three of them, only Balin wished you a goodnight.

But you weren't tired, which you realized as you found yourself heading back toward the horses. "[Y/N]," Said a familiar voice, and you turned to see Haldir striding toward you.

You bowed, suddenly recognizing him as somebody of high rank. "Mae l'ovannen, Haldir of Lothlorien. What's up?"

He blinked in confusion. "I..." He slowly looked up. "Believe the stars..."

You chuckled. "No, no; that's an expression, where I come from. It means how are you doing, what is it you need, nice to see you, etcetera etcetera."

He stared at you. "...'Et... Cetera...?'"

You slumped over. "Oi... It means a general list of similar meanings that're implied but nobody feels like saying."

Haldir smiled. "Oh, I see. Lindir wished for you to return, so that you could continue your lessons in Sindarin." He didn't miss your look of disappointment. He smirked. "Perhaps, when you are finished with Sindarin, and already know Common, Quenyan would be best for you to learn."

"Pfft," You waved a hand. "I'll live forever. Might as well. I'll toss some dwarvish in there while I'm at it."

Haldir made a face. "I suppose that is up to you, but every dwarf speaks Common, so it would not pose any form of language barrier for that to be avoided..."

*** You were woken up no later than the crack of fucking dawn, by an elaborate blowing of horns that probably alerted ninety-seven percent of the orcs of the northern borders to your presence, but oh what the hell.

What else you woke up to?

"Galu, mellon nin," Said Legolas with a shit-eating grin. "Ci maer?"

Slowly, your groggy eyes went from wide to thin, angry slits. "...I swear to the Valar, Blue-Eyes... I just fucking woke up. What are you saying? Speak in Common, or I'll tear you limb from limb because I am not a morning person."

He gave you a look, but couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "Le leich, Sairen. But if you are going to learn Elvish, then you must actually try to do so. Tell me, what did I say?"

You shrugged and slumped over onto a log. "Grapefruit, melons win, kid mobster."

Blue-Eyes chuckled, but internally, you busted out laughing after realizing what you said. "No, [Y/N], you have to do this. Concentrate. What did I say?"

With a sigh, you thought about Lindir's grueling lessons with you yesterday. "...You said, 'A blessing,' which is basically 'hi,' first; Galu. Then you said 'my friend,' and, 'are you well.'"

Blue-Eyes nodded, looking excited that you were getting the hang of Elvish. "Excellent. Now respond to me in Sindarin."

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. In the most unenthusiastic tone you could muster, you said, "Galu, Legolas, ni maer. A gin?" Blessings, Legolas, I am well. And you?

"Ni maer," He replied, then began polishing his bow. "Worry not, Sairen, soon Sindarin will come to you thoughtlessly. You already swear to our gods, instead of your own."

You did roll your eyes this time. An idea hit you. "Hey..." You looked at him with a huge smirk. "What's fuck you in Elvish?"

Legolas paled, then blushed. "You will learn how to speak intimately to another later--"

You huffed. "NO! What's your most offensive insult?!"

Blue-Eyes thought for a minute. "...Ego, which is the equivalent to what you mean when you proclaim that Common phrase of yours... Hopefully, most of the time."

You bit back a laugh. "...Eggo? As in, L'eggo my eggo?"

Blue-Eyes gave you a concerned look. "I... I am not sure what you mean, and it is not pronounced as you say it."

Commotion started up, and you spun around in your seat wildly to try and see why everybody was suddenly moving and packing up. "What's goin' on?"

Legolas smiled. "Well, Sairen, we are off to track the orcs."

You looked at him in a panic, pointing futilely to an Elf packing up the cooking supplies. "B-but... What about breakfast?" That sentence reminded you of someone... Someone small and innocent and prone to causing disasters... But who? Blue-Eyes didn't give you time to figure it out.

"You will not starve, mellon nin," He told you gently, and stood. "You are an Eldar now; you'd best learn what your body can do now rather than later." He smiled down at you. "Dadwenithon."

As if you understood what that meant, he practically skipped away. "...Dad marathon?" You repeated in disbelief. You got up and went to find somebody you knew, preferably not the Elvenqueen, Erestor, Haldir, or Thorin, because they'd just find you childish, or annoying. Elros was quick to find, and you approached him and his palomino steed with a very confused expression.

"Hey Elros?"

Elros looked up from brushing his horse's mane and smiled. "Ai, len suilon, mellon nin. Ci maer?"

You rolled your eyes. Stupid Elves and their five hundred different ways to say 'hi...' "Galu, Elros. Ni maer, a gin?"

"Ni maer eithro. What brings you to my company?"

"What the hell does dad marathon mean?"

Elros froze and looked at you like you were crazy. "I beg your pardon?"

You gestured wildly over your shoulder. "Legolas got up, walked away, and said dad marathon! And I've got no idea what he said!"

Elros grinned knowingly. "Ai,Legolas said dadwenithon. It means, roughly, I will return." He gave you a disgusted look. "And that is not how it is pronounced at all."

"Oh. Dadwenithon?"

Elros smiled proudly. "Yes! Precisely! Well done! But if Legolas told you he would return to you, evidently he meant for you to stay where you were."

Your eyes bugged out of your head. "Oh. I'll be going, then. Novaer." You didn't realize you'd said an Elvish farewell until you'd reached where you'd originally been seated, but that jumped out of your head when you seen Legolas waiting with his dappled mare and the black stallion (Heh heh...) from yesterday.

"Ooh! What's this all about?"

"I decided you should have your own mount throughout the course of this journey," He replied with a smile. "He is yours for now. Name him as you will, and by the end of this journey, I shall see if you may keep him."

You stared at him like he'd just grown a second head. "Wh... What? Keep him?"

Legolas smiled. "Surely you would wish to ride at will throughout the northern parts of Mirkwood?"

A huge smile spread across your face, and you excitedly spread your hands. "Well, duh! Gin hannon, Legolas! I'll call him..." You took the reins and looked him in the eye. "Starlight. I've always wanted a black horse called Starlight."

Blue-Eyes patted your back. "Well done, mellon. Already, Elvish is beginning to seep into your speech."

You looked at him in surprise. "I did that on purpose you dumb blond."

Legolas's eyes widened slightly. "Man?" Which you understood as, What?

You stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your eyes. "Blehlehleh!"

He recoiled. "What are you doing?"

With a laugh, you stroked Starlight's muzzle. "Messing with you. So you get up from the left side, right?"

Blue-Eyes just looked at you like you were crazy, then shook his head. "Yes, I suppose."

You went around to the left flank of the steed, which snorted suspiciously at you, like it wanted to know what the fuck you were doing. You peered at Blue-Eyes over the stallion's back. "Gimme a leg up?"

Legolas flushed and stared at you blankly. "If that is one of your vulgar insults, I swear to Illuvatar..."

A laugh escaped your throat. "No! Hell no! It means help me up, you moron!"

A sweet smile crossed Blue-Eye's features. "Well, then, come here, mellon nin, and I will aid you." He interlaced his fingers together as he bent down, allowing you to grip both ends of the saddle, step into his hand, and haul yourself up. You nearly fell off the other side, but just managed to catch yourself before you made yourself look like a complete idiot in front of Blue-Eyes, who noticed your struggle but said nothing, to your sweet relief.

Elros trotted through camp on his palomino, saying "Und wendo'hein!"

Legolas mounted his dapple-gray, and looked you up and down. "You are not sitting correctly." He told you, and reached over to pull your shoulders back. "Your shoulders need to make a line to your ankles in the stirrups."

You rolled your eyes sarcastically. "Great, now you sound like my collection of Young Rider magazines."

"Your what?" Legolas looked almost offended.

"It's basically a book only about twenty pages long made of cheap paper and filled with random tidbits of information. This series I started collecting when I was eight or nine, then continued until I was about twelve, thirteen... I had a lot of them. I loved horses."

Blue-Eyes furrowed his brow. "Did you have one?"

You scoffed. "In my world, you either have to be rich like Saddle Club or own a farm like Racing Stripes. Or, by some miracle get saved by a badass black Arabian stallion on a desert island." You smiled cheekily at him. "Which, by the way, your facial structure really reminds me of an Arabian horse's. Dished, kinda. And perfect and majestic and all that shit."

Blue-Eyes just looked like he was suddenly being attacked by a pack of savage wargs and he wasn't quite sure what to do. You grinned, and did the first thing all of the books and movies you'd read as a kid had taught you: gently tap your heels into the horse's flanks, and carefully guide their head with the reins. Starlight tossed his head, eager to get moving at a faster pace, and nickered softly as he started off at a walk. Legolas beamed at you as he rode beside you. "Well well, Sairen, it seems you are a natural at riding a horse. Perhaps the blood of the Eldar is finally starting to take a hold of you."

"Not quite," Said a new voice, and Lindir rode up on a sleek bay with a mischievous smile. "Suilad, Legolas! [Y/N]! Your Elvish is improving, but you still need to learn more."

You slumped in the saddle. "Augh, man, do I have to?"

Legolas and Lindir grinned wickedly at each other. "Ai, Lindir, man í lú?"

"Ú, Legolas. Eithro, ci maer?"

"Ni maer, mellon nin, ni maer."

So for a whole five or six hours on the trip, you got bombarded on either side by Blue-Eyes and Lindir trying to teach you Sindarin. At the end of the day, the Elvenqueen asked you for another story, so you told her the first one that popped into your head that you could honestly remember most of: Alladin's Lamp. It had been your favorite fairytail as a child, and while it was meant for younger audiences, the Elves enjoyed it just as much.

Then, Thorin asked to see you again. He asked about your world, and what it was like, and you were happy to get to know them, even if you were an Elf now.

And that's how it went, for the next few weeks. Unfortunately, at some point you'd run out of memorized storybooks, so you focused on myths from various mythologies, and then, even movies. 300 seemed to be a favorite of Thorin's, who overheard, but the Elves were especially interested in Gods of Egypt and The Hunger Games, and the Jedi from Star Wars. When you ran out of that material (It was a long trip with long nights, because apparently Elves didn't really get the concept of sleep.), you even switched to games; Darksiders and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim got their attention, as did The Legend of Zelda.

But of all the damned stories you told them, they seemed most interested in Shakespeare, of all things. You only barely remembered reading Midsummer Night's Dream out of curiosity, but Romeo and Juliet, thankfully, everybody knew the gist of. Thanks to a certain Tom Hiddleston, you knew Coriolanus by heart, so that one wasn't too hard of a story to tell, and neither was (Onc you finally got them off of Shakespeare.) Pirates of the Caribbean, a classic for you, which, one of the characters, now that you thought of it... Will Turner... You couldn't quite remember his face, or Balian's from Kingdom of Heaven, which they all really liked, especially Legolas.

Eventually, the queen dubbed you Taleweaver, which you thought sounded pretty cool, but also a little nerve-wracking, because what if you ran out of stories to tell? You forced yourself to be casual. No worries. You were a writer, after all, just... Now your audience consisted of fantasy people instead of Tumblr bloggers.

No pressure.

One day, Legolas approached you alone as you groomed Starlight. "Yo," You said, s'upping him. "S'up?"

Blue-Eyes looked like you'd just thrown something at him. "Man?" You rolled your eyes. "Galu, mellon, galu. What is it?"

Legolas scoffed. "My mother has declared only a small party of us, including the dwarves, shall scout ahead and see if we can find their trail. Of the party is myself, Elros, Erestor, Haldir, and... you."

You pointed to yourself. "M...Me? The queen specifically requested me to go with you?" You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. "Whhhhhhyyyyyyy???"

Blue-Eyes glared at you as he stroked Starlight's muzzle. "It is nothing out of the ordinary. You wish to prove yourself to my father, do you not? I would like for you to stay in the Mirkwood as well, Sairen, so do not disappoint me."

"Well," You looked up at Starlight's face. "No pressure, right?"

Legolas smiled cheekily. "Not at all." He patted your back. "We begin at dawn tomorrow. Meet me by Starlight once you've woken, and we shall begin." He walked away, but half-turned to call out, "Do not be late!"

You nodded in exasperation, but as soon as he was gone, sighed and placed your face on Starlight's neck. "Mission," You hissed under your breath, just really wishing Lord Fabulous didn't have to be such a jackass. "Impossible."

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Le leich= You’re sweet