#to say nothing of the stuff he did to make her happy (saving Astrid. more time with Richard. exposing Rory)

[katoska]

I keep rotating this thought and it won't stop turning.

BJ in movie1: "Maybe you can help me get out of here. Because I gotta tell you, this dead thing, it's just too creepy" [...] "I want out, for good. In order to do that, hey, I gotta get married."

Betel wanted to get out of being dead, permanently, and he needed to marry a living person to do it.

What's the difference between being not-dead for good, and immortality?

What are the chances that there are two ways in which you can gain immortality through marriage?

[teamhook]

|AO3|

|FFN|

I want to thank @captainswanmoviemarathon and the shipmates on Discord.

I want to thank my Beta @ultraluckycatnd for her patience.

Chapter 2

The next day at work started as any other day. David was explaining the features of a Blu-ray player to an older man. 

Leroy was grumbling about Astrid forgetting to pack his lunch again, so he announced he would go pick up something to eat for the group.  

Arthur was idling by until a new customer arrived.

Killian was in his little office working, hoping today would be a better day.

The difference was that today a beautiful blonde entered the store. She was wearing some tight jeans and a red leather jacket. Arthur admired her from afar as she walked down the store aisles.

She stopped in front of the cameras and her head tilted to the side slightly. 

“Excuse me, Miss. Is there anything I can help you with?” Arthur smoothly asked. 

She turned to face him and glanced at the cameras. “I’m looking for a camera. Something cheap but decent quality.” She turned her attention back to him only to notice he was staring at her chest as if he could see through the sheer material that covered her breasts.

Killian was walking from his workspace as he noticed Arthur talking to a customer. He stopped for a second when he could see the woman’s face. It was the lovely lass who came to his home looking for Lacey. She looked stiff, no, uncomfortable. Bloody hell, Arthur was creeping her out. It was time for a dashing rescue.

Killian approached and greeted them. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt.” He smiled at her and turned his attention to Arthur. “Mate, Cruella is looking for you.” 

Arthur grimaced. “I’m with a customer, Killian.”

“I’m sorry, mate, she says it’s urgent.” 

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, Miss. Killian will take care of you.” Arthur walked slowly to the back, clearly in no hurry to deal with their boss.

“I’m sorry, Miss. You looked uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, well your coworker is a jerk, but no one saves me but me. I was about to punch him in the face.”

Killian smiled at her. “I see, you’re a tough lass. How can I be of help, my lady?”

She smiled back. “I was telling Mr. Douche that I need a camera. I’m looking for a camera for my kid. He wants to sell stuff on eBay. And I'm not your lady. My name is Emma.”

“Oh, do you have a price range or any brand preference?” He couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Of course, a beautiful lass like her couldn’t possibly be single. He was not that lucky. 

“No, I don’t. I need something inexpensive but gets the work done. He's only doing it to earn money for some writing camp. He wants to be a writer when he’s older.” 

“He sounds like a wonderful young man. You and your husband must be very proud.”

“Is that your subtle way of asking if I’m married?” Emma smiled sarcastically at him. 

Killian scratched behind his ear and stuttered his denial. “No, it would be inappropriate for me to ask.”

“Would it be inappropriate if I said I’m a single mom?”

“No, it’s not. Um.” His attention turned to the cameras on display and he grabbed one. “This is a Nikon Coolpix A100 20 MP Digital Camera and it’s $98.99, but with my employee discount I can knock it down for you to $79.13. I think it will work for what your boy needs.” He smiled.

“You don’t have to use your employee discount,” Emma insisted. 

“It’s the least I can do. Arthur was unprofessional and it's a thank you for warning me about Lacey.” Killian smiled as he handed the camera to her.

Emma eyed him suspiciously; most men only do nice things for her if they want something, but this guy seemed genuinely kind. “Okay, but maybe I can buy you a coffee or something?” 

“That’s not necessary, lass. I just hope it’s of use for your boy.”

They walked to the cashier section, and Killian went behind the counter to charge her. She thanked him, and he watched her walk away for the second time.

No sooner had she left, when Arthur returned from the back office. “Hey, Jones. Cruella wasn't even looking for me, and because of you, she kept me in her office, trying to get me to,” he shuddered, “to ‘service her'.”

Killian winced. Cruella tended to attack Arthur and himself exclusively since David and Robin were both unavailable and Leroy was Leroy. 

Arthur shook it off. “So, where’s the hot blonde?”

Killian glared. “I helped her find a camera for her son.” He had a feeling that the fact she had a child would definitely be a turn off for Arthur. 

“She has a kid? What a waste.” Arthur walked away and put the blonde in the hell no category.

Later on that day, Killian was enjoying his lunch in the solitude of his little workstation. Arthur smiled at him as he entered. “Hey, I’ve been thinking; we should go out. Just the two of us?”

Killian stared at Arthur. 

“Hey man, it’s just unnatural for you to still be a virgin. I mean, you are not that bad looking. Yeah, a little nerdy, but I think we can find a willing woman to do you the favor. If we can’t get anyone, I’m sure Cruella would gladly offer herself.”

Killian’s ears turned red. “I don’t know, mate. I have plans.”

“Come on, what are you going to do? Go home and eat dinner, then watch some nerdy show and finally sleep? Think about it.” Arthur walked away.

Killian regretted not accepting the cup of coffee the lovely lass had offered. He was sure Arthur meant well, at least in his own way. Would it be so horrible to find a nice girl to be with? The right girl? Maybe she had long, blonde hair and sparkling green eyes.

It had been a few days since Emma purchased the camera for Henry. Her kid had loved it; he had been so excited. She had briefly mentioned how helpful Killian had been and that he had some collectibles. Her kid’s eyes grew wide. She had to add that she didn’t think Killian would be selling them, but if he wanted, she could ask for Killian to show them to him. Would it be too forward? There was something about the guy she really liked. He was nice and a gentleman. Hmm, there weren’t too many of those around anymore.   

Henry had noticed his mom had a genuine smile when she handed him the camera. There was more to it, but he wouldn’t pry. Just yet anyway. 

At dinner some days later, Henry asked, “Mom, I was wondering if I could spend Friday night over at Avery’s? We are working on a project for school.”

“Sure kid, what are you guys working on?”  Emma asked as she took a drink. 

“It’s a special project and I also have to work on my submission for writer’s camp,” he said looking down.

“Alright, do you need anything for it?” 

“Well, my computer hard-drive needs cleaning and it's running a bit slow. I was wondering if we could take it to the IT guy at that place you bought my camera. I checked their website and the prices are reasonable.”

“Oh, okay. We can do that. Do we need to make an appointment? The place is small, not a big electronic chain company,” Emma said. “This has nothing to do with your curiosity over the toy collection I saw, right?”

Henry smiled. “Nope, I promise. But if he wants to show his action figure to me I won’t complain.” He shrugged, donning a big, toothy grin. 

“I don’t know if it was a mistake telling you about that collection or not, kid. He might be a nice man but maybe I overstepped.” Emma said, smiling back. “Are you going to tell me anything about the special project or your submission for the camp?”

Henry studied his mom’s face. “I want you to be surprised.” 

“Alright. I won’t pressure you into telling me. We can go tomorrow right after school. Okay?” 

“Thanks Mom!” he said with a big grin. 

The grumpy man gave Emma and a smiling Henry directions to Killian’s workstation and they walked directly there. 

The space was immaculate. She noticed a small bell on the desk, so she rang it. From the back room there was some clattering, and some muttering was heard right before a booming voice shouted out, “I’ll be right with you. One second please.” 

Emma turned to Henry and ruffled his head fondly. 

Killian appeared from the room. A bright smile landed on his face as soon as he noticed who it was. “Hello, how may I help you?”

“Oh, hello. Uhm.” She nudged Henry. 

“Hello, I’m Henry and I was wondering if you could take a look at my laptop. I think it needs cleaning, it’s running slow.”

Killian took the laptop from the lad. “Hello, Henry. I’m Killian and I can gladly do that. Just let me run a diagnostic on it.” He went to the back room and came back with a flash drive and installed his program on the laptop. He gave Emma and Henry a smile. “It shouldn’t take long.”

It’s Henry’s turn to nudge Emma. Killian was looking at the exchange. 

“Killian, I-” Emma said.

Ding 

Killian’s attention returned to his task as he checked the computer for the results of a possible virus. His brow furrowed as he did his work. 

Emma studied his movements. 

Henry observed his mom, and knew she deserved happiness. She had been alone for so long. When he asked why, she simply said “You’re all I need.” He wasn’t a fool; yes, he was young, but he knew better.

Killian felt her eyes on him, and blushed. He tried to keep his voice steady. “Lass, this might take a wee bit longer than I expected. If you prefer, you and the lad can go to the diner around the corner. I will give you a call when the computer is ready.”

Emma smiled. “Oh, okay, we can do that. What do you say kid?”

“I can eat,” Henry said as his belly growled. 

After thanking Killian for the recommendation, Emma and Henry head out to the diner, while Killian sighed and got back to work. Once he was finished, he dug out the card Emma had given him when they first met and made the call.

Emma and Henry arrived shortly with a takeout bag. Emma placed the bag on the tidy desk. “Thank you for the recommendation. To thank you, we got you a snack. I wasn’t sure what you like, so I got you our favorite. Grilled cheese and onion rings.”

Killian smiled. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but you’ve been so kind.” Emma smiled back.

Henry watched the exchange with a smile. He knew it, his mom liked this guy, but getting her to admit it would be the challenge.

Killian cleared his throat. “Your total is $55.99.” The tips of his ears turned red. 

Henry grabbed the laptop and put it in its bag. “Wait, I thought it was $99 for a PC-tuneup?” he said as he pulled out crunched up $20 bills from his pocket. 

Killian smiled. “Aye lad, but I’m including my discount. Your mother said you are trying to save money for writer’s camp.” He handed Henry back his money.

Emma couldn’t believe her ears. He had truly listened to her, and he was genuinely so nice to Henry. 

Henry smiled and lightly blushed. “Thank you.” 

Emma smiled as she paid. She paused for a second, thinking maybe she should ask him out for coffee.

Killian took Emma’s money with a bashful smile as he gave her the receipt. Their eyes met briefly, both full of longing. She smiled as she took the receipt and almost whispered her goodbyes to him. 

His ears were burning. He wanted so badly to ask her out to dinner for a date, but it would be bad form to ask her in front of her lad.  Another opportunity wasted.

Tagging:

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[imanativeofswlondondahling]

Becoming A Stark (14)- Peter Parker x Stark! femReader

Word Count: 1869

Warning: Swearing

Author’s Note: So we’ve hit the half way point I think (I think I did my math right lol). Also I loved doing the field trip chapters! I wanted to do something more fun before we get into the Spider-Man Homecoming Chapters which will start next! Let me know what you think and if you want to be added to the tag list!

Chapter One || Previous Chapter || Master List

“So is this what you do every day?” You ask Pepper as you sit in the chair next to her desk. Your hand fidgets with the medical alert bracelet on your right wrist, needing to fiddle with something.

“Goodness no. Every day changes. But it’s a lot of meetings and lunches, paperwork, press conferences, things like that. And about 90% of it is redirecting your dad when he gets on a tangent.” Pepper says with a smile. 

“What…” You let your sentence drift off, not wanting to voice your question.

“What….?” She prods slightly, but doesn’t push like your dad would.

“What if I decide I don’t want to run the company? Like everyone keeps telling me it’s my name on the building and stuff but what if I don’t want to ascend to my birth right or whatever?”

“I’m not a Stark.” Pepper states.

“Yeah but you and my dad are basically going to get married one day and then you will be.” It’s not that much of a secret that your dad wants to marry Pepper, he just hasn’t asked yet.

“Well... yes, but that’s not the point I was trying to make. The point is that you don’t have to be a Stark to run the company. When you turn twenty one, should you decide that running the company is not for you, you would just pick another CEO, or I can keep running the company if that is where we are depending on what happens seven years from now.”

“Would my dad hate it if I didn’t step into it?”

“You know your dad chose to step away from running the company right?” You nod. It was big news when Tony Stark had stepped down from CEO. Nana and Pops had talked about it for like a week when it happened. “He wouldn’t judge you or love you any less for choosing to do the same thing. He wants you to be happy. First and foremost. He’s already looking towards which schools have the best English Lit programs because he knows that his pull at MIT is going to have nothing for you. He doesn’t expect you to be him. He wants you to be better than him.”

“But he’s Tony Stark. He’s Iron Man. How can I be better than that?” You ask.

“Quite easily actually. Tony Stark, Iron Man, psshh. They’ve let a lot of people down.” Tony’s voice enters the room. “Honestly there’s probably even one of those Buzzfeed articles about the top ten ways that Tony Stark has let down people.”

“Tony.” Pepper’s voice alone tells you she disagrees, but Tony ignores it and continues.

“But you, Y/N Stark, you have the chance to do anything in the world. And you will make me a proud dad by doing that. You don’t have to do anything with the company if you don’t want to and I will be completely happy with that you know why? Because you are my daughter. And that’s the only thing I need to make me happy.” He places a kiss on the top of your head. “That and doing whatever it takes to keep Pep here happy.” He smiles at her across the desk.

“What would keep me happy is if you actually met your deadlines.” She teases. 

“I’m right on schedule. Ahead some might even say.”

“Some might, but would I?” She raises an eyebrow as she pushes some papers onto a different pile.

“I’d rather not sleep on the couch tonight so I’m going to go with I’m on schedule today.” Pepper rolls her eyes at that. 

“So then, what made you come all the way up to the office that you despise?”

“Other than the fact that my two favorite people are here?”

“You sound like you’re just trying to distract Pepper, Dad.” You tease him, knowing he had to have some motive, because Pepper was right. Dad hated the CEO office, even if the two of you were in it.

“I was making sure the two of you take a break for lunch. Especially since your class is heading down for lunch and I figured since your friends are there, you might want to join them.”

“And because my friends are there, you want to join them and embarrass me.”

“I’m just making sure you eat lunch.” He throws his hands up, trying to show you he comes in peace.

“You hardly ever eat lunch when you’re supposed to.” Pepper points out, but she knows that keeping you on a schedule is important with keeping your basals on a good schedule. “But Tony does make a good point that we should get some lunch for you. And how often do we get to have lunch as a family?”

“You don’t have like a lunch meeting or something?” You ask, surprised that Pepper isn’t running off to some fancy luncheon.

“Not today. Today I can take an actual lunch with my two favorite Starks.” She smiles standing up and walking to the other side of her desk. Tony’s arm wraps around her waist, pulling her in close. He places a kiss on her cheek.

“Lunch is my treat.” Tony teases. “Let’s go!”

“Lunch is free for any employees or family of the employees.” Pepper explains rolling her eyes as the three of you walk towards the elevator. 

“FRI take us to the cafeteria.”

“Sure thing boss.” The elevator takes you down the twenty floors and as you walk out the doors you see your friends sitting at tables.

“I’ll get you food. Go sit with your friends.” Tony kisses the top of your head as he walks over to get food with Pepper. You make your way over to where Astrid, Betty, Liz, Ned, Peter, and a girl that you think her name is Michelle sit. There’s still a couple open seats at the table so your dad and Pepper will be able to join too.

“Y/N!” Betty and Astrid call your name out as you sit down.

“Are you ok?” Betty’s concern is voiced quickly.

“I’m fine, I came back into range before Peter joined back up with the group.” You explain taking the empty seat next to Peter, who already knew all of this.

“Then why didn’t you come back to the group? Your dad told Mr. Shah there were important Stark matters.”

“I’m spending the rest of the field trip with Pepper. Dad thinks it makes more sense for me to learn about what she does since I’m supposed to take over the company one day then to learn the public tour side of things.” You shrug. “Although I’m not sure how much of Pepper’s job is public knowledge so I’m not sure what my report about what I learned at SI will be about.”

“Just take a page out of your dad’s twitter and write you know who I am. Short, sweet and to the point.” Michelle says not even looking up from her book.

“I think that would be hilarious but I don't think I’d pass with that. And I need a passing grade so I don’t have to take biology over again.” You explain. “I’m Y/N by the way.”

“My friends call me MJ.” The dark haired girl explains.

“I thought you didn’t have any friends?” Ned questions.

“She has at least one.” You defend quickly, sensing something about this girl that you like. MJ and Ned both look up at you, but Peter just shakes his head like he should have seen this coming. What he didn’t see coming, was Tony and Pepper coming to sit with a group of teens. 

Tony sits in the seat next to you, placing a tray of food in front of you, before acknowledging the silence that has fallen over the table. “Yes yes I know it is shocking. Pepper Potts, CEO. She is just as amazing in person and you think she would be.” He flashes a smile at the table and you roll your eyes.

“I think you all probably know my obnoxious dad. And this, as he mentioned is Pepper. She is amazing.” You can’t help but agree with your dad on that one. “Dad, Pepper, you know Betty, Astrid, and Peter of course. Then we have Liz, Ned, and MJ.” You gesture around the table before finally looking at the food in front of you. Pasta with spinach and cheese, some fruit, a brownie, and… “Another green juice?” You look at your dad.

“Chef Louis makes the best green juice.” You dad says taking a sip of his own.

“Good for him. I already had my one for the day.”

“Think of it as balancing out the soda from earlier.”

“It wasn’t like I went out of my way to have a soda. I was dying.”

“And now we’re going to give your body something better.” You roll your eyes. 

“Pepper help me out?” You plead.

“He’s pretty set on this one.” Peppe says as she lifts her own glass from the other side of Tony. “This one tastes different than the ones he makes in the mornings though.”

“You know I thought the paparazzi was the worst part of being a Stark. But it’s the fucking green juice obsession in this family.” There’s a burst of laughter from next to you. “Something funny Parker?” 

“Absolutely nothing funny Y/N.” He says lifting a soda to his own lips.

“You not going to make your intern get on the green juice trend?” You ask your dad.

“He’s not my kid. You are.”

“I’ll trade you.” You offer the glass to Peter.

“If you give her the glass that has as much sugar as a Snicker’s, I’ll ban you from all labs for a week.” Tony’s voice drops an octave.

“You not going to just blast him with your gauntlet?” You tease.

“That’s saved for bad guys and boyfriends.” Betty and Astrid look at you with a look that you can read to see that they understand what you meant about trying to get a Homecoming date now.

“See if I tell you when I get a boyfriend then.”

“Remind me to tell FRIDAY to lock you in the brownstone until you're 25 then.” Tony teases back.

“Pepper’ll save me.” You say, sure that Pepper will reign him in before he could even get this far. 

“I got your back.” She responds with a smile. As you put the carbs into Queenie, the conversation picks up around you. Your dad starts talking to Peter about some missing part of a calculation for one of the many projects they were working on. Betty and Astrid are talking to Pepper about what it’s like to be CEO and you’ve fallen into listening to your two worlds falling back into one. You even take a sip of the green juice and shouldn’t be surprised that it’s not that bad. To be honest, it’s even better than the one you get in the mornings. But you won’t let your dad know that. But of course he notices anyway.

“Told you it was good.”

“Never said it was good. It just didn’t kill me.”

“Sure kiddo. Whatever you say.”

Becoming A Stark Tag list: @persephonehemingway  @iamaunicorn4704  @furiouspockettoad  @daughter-of-stark  @eternalharry  @huntective-kyeo @riiis-stuff @sunnyoongles @cosmicqueenieb @sovereignparker @bbarnestan @teenwishes08 @iamthescarlettwitch

Permanent tag list: @wormonastringonastick

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Hiccanna 100 OTP Questions Meme--Part 1

So I saw this 100 Questions About Your OTP post, and I decided to do them for Hiccanna! And...I am never doing one of these memes again, because this took forever XD I decided to split it in two to avoid just creating a giant Monster Post. QUESTION SOURCE: https://the-moon-dust-writings.tumblr.com/post/159857601812/100-otp-questions 1. Who loves flower crowns more? Anna is highkey obsessed with them! Especially kinda lopsided weird ones with sunflowers and shit. Hiccup likes them a lot too but is too embarrassed to ever admit it 2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle? Probably Anna tbh, she’s extremely huggy and cuddly and basically always initiates the cuddle sessions. Hiccup is secretly super grateful for this because he’s actually touch-starved as all hell but absolutely is not aware of it like cmon do you think big tough Stoic hugged him a lot growing up??? Kinda doubt it tbh 3. Who has awful taste in music? Depends on who you ask XD Hiccup has exactly 2 Music Moods--Stuffy classical orchestal stuff with a bunch of fancy violin and flute and whatnot, and edgy underground alternative hipster nonsense from bands no one has ever heard of. Anna, meanwhile, is a simple woman, who listens almost exclusively to shitty, catchy-butvery-unoriginal Top 40 hits and belts along with them to the radio, much to Hiccup’s chagrin XD 4. Who is the meme lover? A N N A she is a memelord supreme 5. How did their second date go? An...oddly specific question XD But I’ll take a stab at it. I imagine on their first date they went to see some high fantasy epic movie with fancy CGI (they’d both be HELLA into that--Anna for the magic and epic romances and Hiccup for the interesting magical creatures) and then gushed about it for hours afterwards, so their second date might be something a bit more lowkey where they’d just talk and hang out. I feel like they both probably are coffee addicts, so...a coffee shop date, maybe? And Anna gets some kinda chocolate pastry, of course! 6. How many children do they want/have? Tbh unpopular opinion probably, but I actually don’t think Hiccup and Anna would necessarily want kids??? They’re definitely the kind of couple who would love exploring the world and taking spontaneous adventures together, and you can do a lot less of that when kids are typing you down. Not to mention I think the full-time responsibility of having a kid would be pretty exhausting to Anna in particular, as someone who identifies with her a lot and has never wanted kids because even thinking about it makes me tired XD I mean sure, Anna has a nurturing side that comes out with Elsa sometimes, but she doesn’t have to use that ALL THE TIME (since Elsa is a grown-ass adult usually capable of sound judgement) like she would with a kid. But ALL THAT SAID if they DID end up having kids I don’t think they’d go too crazy with it, probably just 1. Or 2 at the VERY most. 7. Who hides the weapons? You mean like...in an AU where they’re infiltrating an enemy fortress or something? Probably Anna, since she’s the more innocent and harmless-looking of the two XD 8. Who is the better dancer? They both can’t dance for SHIT it’s absolutely cringeworthy but probably Anna at the end of the day because she probably spent a lot of time practicing in those empty ballrooms 9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding? They’d probably want to have some kind of a magic high fantasy theme, since they’d both be hella into that--and then it ends up morphing into “Dragons and Princesses” XD Anna ends up getting over-the-top fancy princess dresses for all of her bridesmaids and Hiccup has the time of his damn life making basically everything in the buffet dragon-themed. The cake is like half dark green or black scale-patterned and half fancy-patterned spring green tiers. It’s quite the event of the decade! 10. What do their parents think of them dating? Valka absolutely ADORES Anna and thinks she’s perfect for her son--the perfect blend of cheerful and compassionate when she needs to encourage him, but also badass and tough-spirited to protect him when she needs to. Stoic doesn’t really like Anna at first--he’s under the (mistaken) impression that she’s a wimp and finds her bubbliness kind of grating and annoying, and generally worries that dating her will just make Hiccup even more of a wimp. He’d rather him date a no-nonsense tough-as-nails asskicker like Astrid in hopes it would toughen him up. However, once Stoic sees Anna do something like punch someone out with no hesitation when they pick on her and Hiccup, Stoic comes around to Anna VERY quickly XD I feel like Agnar and Iduna would just be happy to see their daughter dating a sweet, dorky guy who loves her with all of her being and appreciates her for who she is. As long as he treats her well and makes her feel loved (which he most certainly would because he’s a precious cinnamon roll), he gets their stamp of approval. And hey, anything is an improvement over Hans XD 11. Are they a super sappy couple? Nah. I imagine they do a lot of PDA and probably hold hands or kiss in public a lot, but they’re not like...overly gooey in how they talk to each other, if that makes any sense. If anything, their flirting is painfully awkward, even AFTER they get together XD So much so that when they try to hit on each other in front of their friends their friends are like “oh my god STOP this is too much secondhand cringe for me to bear” 12. How did they get together? I like to imagine they’re friends for a long while but both of them fully 100% believe that the other is ridiculously out of their league and they’re irreparably trapped in the friendzone and one day they’re hanging out with their friends and awkwardly flirting with each other (but of couRse the other person isn’t FLIRTING they’re just being NICE they both figure) and finally Jack just shouts “oh my god will you two just fuck already???” and after a few minutes of utter mortification they just have the world’s most awkward love confession XD Anna finally relents and asks Hiccup on a date, and of course he says yes! 13. Who asked the other to get married? I can honestly imagine either of them asking but probably Hiccup. And he’s SO nervous about it that he starts straight stuttering the first few times he tries to ask and has to stop and change the subject XD He probably gets it finally after like...the 5th time. 14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes? A N N A 100% I headcanon that she has pretty bad insomnia (that’s why she has such a hard time waking up and is so tired in the morning!) so she stays up to the wee hours of the morning with her brain spinning with incredibly weird thoughts and her sense of humor becomes nigh indecipherable after 3 am. 15. Who is the nerd? Hiccup obviously is this even a question??? He spends all day collecting dragon facts and lore and building weird scientific contraptions to help crippled dragons fly WHAT A NERD  16. Who knows the most obscure facts? Hiccup again, he knows so many dragon factoids and random scientific shit that Anna sometimes wonders how he manages to fit anything else in there 17. Who makes the other a flower crown? Anna! She makes ones for both herself and Hiccup and Hiccup begrudgingly wears his but secretly thinks it’s pretty and likes it because it reminds him of his dorky gf :3 18. Who likes to read? Both! I mean Hiccup obviously does because, as established above, he is a nerd, but Anna has canonically read every book in the Arendelle castle library, some twice, so she doesn’t NOT like to read. Hiccup probably reads more, though, between the two of them--Anna often doesn’t really have the attention span for it. 19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads? ANNA she loves to constantly hang over Hiccup’s shoulder when he reads and drape herself all over him like a needy cat like “PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE” and Hiccup just lets out a defeated sigh and starts playing with her hair while reading and hopes this will be enough to appease the little gremlin It usually is 20. Who tutors the other? Hiccup tutors Anna, but she HATES having to ask and is actually pretty insecure about school just generally not coming as naturally to her as it does to Hiccup, so he’s always super patient and understanding with her and tries his very best to never get annoyed or frustrated if she doesn’t catch onto something right away. He doesn’t want her to ever feel stupid because he imagines it feels the same to her as when people call him weak and useless. Slowly but surely, he’s saving Anna’s grades--and building her confidence! 21. Do they have similar taste in movies? Hell yeah! They love that high fantasy shit. I also like to think Hiccup manages to get Anna into some sci-fi and Anna manages to get Hiccup into romcoms (ONLY the good ones, he insists, as he would not be caught dead watching a shitty romcom!) 22. How do their personalities compliment each other? I mean the most obvious one here is that Hiccup’s general pessimism and cynicism compliment Anna’s optimism and cheerfulness really nicely. He would be able to keep her grounded and get her to be more realistic about things, while she would encourage him to see the positive side of bad situations and be more hopeful about things in general. Also I love the contrast of Hiccup’s intelligence and more quiet, snarky nature with Anna’s rather boisterous personality and general naivitey (sp?) and energy. They’re like a downplayed version of the “the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one” trope and I think that’s beautiful. Also, they’d both be great at soothing the other’s isecurities--Anna would be Hiccup’s biggest cheerleader and would believe in him like no one else did, and would stop at nothing to pull him out of it when he started spiraling into self-loathing and thinking he’s a fuck-up. Hiccup, meanwhile, would be so smitten with Anna and would think that it’s the most obvious thing in the world that she’s an amazing human being in her own rite and never has to feel like the “spare” princess living in her sister’s shadow. And saying this without a shadow of a doubt, like it’s common knowledge, is often exactly what Anna needs to hear to feel a little better about herself. 23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon? I...honestly don’t think they’d be that extra about it??? In fact, they’d be the sort of couple who would be so UN-extra about it that it would do a full 180 and be hilarious. Like they’d be casually brunching with friends and Hiccup would just casually be like “oh by the way, Anna’s 3 months pregnant” or “oh, by the way, we just signed some adoption papers and we’re picking our new kid up on Saturday” and all of their friends would be like “wait WHAT” and Hiccup would be like “Anyways what were you saying about the newest episode of Alien Space Shooters 3000?” XD  24. Who has better fashion sense? Hiccup, probably. I mean, Astrid caught him making OUTFITS! The horror! The dude is also way more effeminate and, uh...clothing-conscientious than he realizes XD Anna has decent fashion sense, but I imagine that’s like 90% because Elsa spices up/makes her outfits since Elsa’s really more of the fashionista XD 25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner? Try bullying Hiccup when Anna’s around. I dare you. You’re gonna get a fistful of Anna Rage and a very angry redhead screaming “THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO MY BOYFRIEND I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU” Look this woman punched a man off a boat and knocked a wolf half a mile away with a guitar thing she absolutely takes no shits and she can and will fuck you up if you so much as lay a finger on her precious dork Hiccup thinks this is really hot btw 26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle? For whatever reason the first songs that come to mind are “Africa” by Toto and “Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey. ALSO “Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheatus since they both are, in fact, teenage dirtbags XD It also like perfectly describes the story of a modern AU where Hiccup the Loser is secretly pining for Anna the Nice Popular Girl who is dating Hans the Douchebag but that’s neither here nor there 27. What other couple would your otp get along with? Jackunzel, Jackunzel, Jackunzel!!! Jack and Hiccup would definitely be bros, even if they are not above mercilessly roasting and/or trolling one another XD And Anna and Rapunzel would be BEST FRIENDS if they ever met and I will DIE on this hill, I legit don’t think Anna would Vibe with any other princess as hard as she vibes with Punzel. They could be ADHD disasters together XD 28. Who likes to prank the other? Anna actually turns out to be quite the closet gadfly and has a secret side that LOVES pranks and generally trolling Hiccup, much to everyone’s surprise and Hiccup’s mild dismay. It’s always pretty innocent and subtle pranks, like switching books on his bookshelf or hiding his various possessions in weird places in the house, but Anna absolutely LIVES for that long, defeated sigh he lets out when he realizes he’s Been Had. 29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures? Anna takes pictures of EVERYTHING on her phone--scenery, flowers, cute animals they come across, weird buildings, pretty fountains, Hiccup when he’s not looking, EVERYTHING XD She also bombs all her social media accounts with selfies of her and Hiccup and captions gloating about how great he is and how you WISH your boyfriend was this cool and rad and Hiccup is both embarrassed and flattered by this. 30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates? Anna, who probably never stopped fully being a sucker for fairy tale True Love stories and all that shit, would fangirl for hours and hours. Hiccup would just go, “Oh, neat!” and go back to whatever project he was currently working on XD I mean his logic is mainly that regardless of whether it’s “magically destined” or not, he’s gonna date Anna anyway, so it really doesn’t make a scrap of difference to him whether she’s dubbed by some Mystical Higher Power as his soulmate lol  31. Where would they live? Well...SOMEWHERE in Scandinavia, since that’s canonically where both Berk and Arendelle are XD I kinda like the idea of them spending part of the year in Berk and part in Arendelle...maybe spring and summer in Berk, and fall and winter in Arendelle? I imagine spring and summer are when there’s the most interesting dragon activity in Berk, and winter’s probably pretty festive and colorful in Arendelle, if OFA is anything to go by. And the fall color is pretty too, going by Frozen 2. Seems like a good compromise, since I doubt either of them would want to permanently move away from their homes. 32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one? Given the shipping this question is HILARIOUSLY ironic Well it just so happens they would have a type of dragon called a Night Fury and name him Toothless XD Anna would probably have a dragon of her own too--I conversed with someone on fanfic.net and did some research into all the HTTYD dragons, and I think the one I like her most with is a sand wraith, since they live on the beach and Anna certainly seems to like the beach, if her throwaway comment complaining Elsa doesn’t have “tropical” powers is anything to go by XD 33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be? First of all, fuck you for making me google “Types of Vampires” and then getting me aggravated because like nowhere on the internet is there a straightforward list of vampire "species” that isn’t like 5 miles long or just a meme XD Welp, I couldn’t really find a list of vampire species that wouldn’t take forever to look over, so I wrote a summary for a vampire fanfic instead Anna turns first. I imagine probably Hans turns her--tricks her into falling in love with him without knowing he’s a vampire, and then biting her when she’s off-guard to basically try to make her into a spooky sex slave or something. Anna starts seeing Hiccup in secret (who she knew before--he’s still human at this point), and eventually he asks her to turn him so that he can be with her without her outliving him and also so that they can team up and fight Hans together. Anna has a lot of reservations about turning him, but finally agrees. They end up kicking Hans out of his spooky vampire castle and taking it for themselves XD Anna eventually makes the best of being a vampire, and has a blast wearing all manor of fancy dresses and throwing extravagant balls. She’s pretty bummed about never getting to gorge herself on garlic bread again, though :( Hiccup doesn’t much like it, especially since a lot of animals are scared of him now and he doesn’t Vibe with nature quite like he used to D: Nonetheless, he decides to use the immortality to do some pretty neat projects and work on his contraptions and inventions and whatnot. I imagine they eventually devolve into kind of a vigilante duo, and make a point of only hunting down and feeding on bad people who are actively hurting or abusing other people or animals. A pretty good incentive to not like...do violent crime in this AU is those creepy old wives’ tales people tell their kids like “don’t be an asshole when you grow up, or the Haddock vampires will get you!” 34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween? Well Hiccup would be some sort of dragon, obviously! Anna I have no idea...but I kinda like the idea of her just dressing up as a generic fairy tale princess and then going around with Hiccup like “oh no, this dragon kidnapped me!” Both their friends and various trick-or-treaters get a kick out of the whole bit. 35. Can they name each other’s favourite food? But of course! Anna’s is chocolate, krumkake, and sandwiches, and Hiccup’s is crabcakes (yes, all this is actually canon! I do my research for fanfiction thank you very much lol). And you can bet they surprise each other by buying one another’s favorite foods all the time! 36. Do they have pet names for one another? In my fanfic I always have Hiccup come up with SO MANY for Anna, like in my Fire!Anna AU fanfic alone I have Fire Hazard, Firecracker, and probably a few others I can’t remember One headcanon I really like is that whenever Anna is especially ready to attempt to kick the ass of something she really should NOT fight (such as a giant snowman), Hiccup physically has to hold her back and goes “Whoa, slow down there, tiger” and this happens so frequently that eventually it gets shortened to just calling her Tiger XD And hey, with the orange hair and the feistiness, it still fits! As for Anna, she usually just calls Hiccup Dragon Boy or Nerd XD 37. How do they cheer each other up? I imagine Hiccup probably tries to distract Anna from whatever’s bothering her by making her laugh and talking in dumb accents or imitating his dad XD Anna would probably try to help Hiccup stay optimistic about a bad situation and try to point out the positives, but more in an encouraging way than like...an obnoxious, condescending “oh, it could be worse, count your blessings!” kind of way. And Anna has so much peppy energy about it that it actually does sometimes manage to pierce Hiccup’s cynicism and make him feel a bit better, if only for a little while before he starts once again imagining everything that could possibly go wrong XD 38. Do they show a lot of PDA? Eeeeeyup XD They looooove holding hands in public, and enjoy kissing dramatically in front of the sunset and such. I mean I imagine they don’t have hardcore makeout sessions in public or feel each other up sexually, if only because they don’t want to make people THAT uncomfortable. 39. How old were they when they got together? Depends on the AU you’re using and where in both their respective timelines they meet, but I imagine them meeting either as kids or in their early teens, and then taking so damn long to spit out how they feel that they don’t actually start dating until their late teens or early 20s. 40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home? If it’s a puppy? Probably Anna. If it’s a kitten or a weird, injured reptile? Deeeefinitely Hiccup. 41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses? They most certainly CANNOT. I like to think Elsa and Honeymaren tried to teach them one time and have a yoga double date (because of COURSE Elsa would suggest that) and it ended with Anna and Hiccup butchering every last pose, repeatedly falling on their asses, and generally having a bad time. Poor Elsa and Honeymaren had to work hard to keep from just losing their shit laughing. 42. What is their song? I mean...I don’t know what their like...OFFICIAL song is, but the songs “West End Kids” by the New Politics and “Paper Rings” by Taylor Swift have always had Big Hiccanna Energy to me. 43. What does their room look like? It’s divided pretty neatly in two. Hiccup’s side has a near-spotless floor, a desk with a perfectly-organized bookshelf and a very chic desk lamp, several movie posters and a hanging whiteboard with miscellaneous invention designs and reminders about random stuff written on it. Anna’s side looks like Hurricane Katrina just swept through, this time with a personal vendetta against snack wrappers. 44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded? Anna would absolutely be the sort to just fuckin tear through hoards of zombies screeching battle cries and knocking them all upside the head with a crowbar, or just straight plowing down an entire hoard with some freaking machine gun she stumbled on and taught herself how to use because she wanted to be badass XD Meanwhile Hiccup is absolutely grateful for the protection because Anna can fuck up a LOT of zombies at once, but he also has to keep the girl from going TOO crazy and accidentally putting her impulsive dumbass in grave peril XD 45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed? Hiccup, for sure. He’s used to being up pretty early because I imagine you get the most dragon-flying and exploring in if you wake up early, and he knows food is basically the only thing that will make Anna not hate getting up, so he makes her breakfast in bed as often as he can to make waking up suck less. And sure enough, after a while Anna starts to hate the morning just a liiiiittle bit less XD 46. Who loves kids more? Anna! Given how fun-loving and energetic she is, she probably loves hanging out with and being around kids. Hiccup likes kids fine, but he often feels kinda awkward and weird around them (I mean...more so than usual XD) because he isn’t sure how to interact with them. When they’re around kids, Hiccup usually follows Anna’s lead on how to talk to them. 47. Do either of them have a crazy ex? Well Anna’s ex attempted to use her to infiltrate and take over a kingdom and then tried to murder her sister so I mean 48. What are their favourite colours? Going by their canon color schemes, I’m guessing Anna’s would probably be like spring green and magenta, and Hiccup’s would be a more dark, foresty green and red. 49. Who likes to cook? Hiccup. Anna can’t cook for shit because she generally doesn’t have the patience for it and would just as soon live off of freezer food if she could because it’s less trouble XD Hiccup is good at making/building things, which actually translates to him being a pretty good chef. He makes Anna food a lot and she absolutely ADORES his cooking. 50. Who is the forgetful one? Anna. Gotta love that ADHD babeyyyy! (I mean I’m practically irl Anna and I am NOTORIOUSLY forgetful so it’s gotta be her XD)

[ksj-com]

There Is No Game Over-

To Kill An Empire

- Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

-Genre: Skyrim!AU, fantasy, action

-Warnings/Tags: lots of killing, blood, ominous environments, not a love story so don’t expect it, madman Taehyung, jester Taehyung, reader being up close to a corpse, killer reader, slightly detailed murder scenes

-Word Count: 6,298 words

- Summary: The feeling of the boat tipping was enough to make your head spin, ready to inhale water. Your eyes shoot open as you see nothing, but are being guided by two men with a firm grip on your arm. Walking through the rain, you hear it subside as the hood over your face is taken off and you’re being thrown into a shack in Skyrim. The Dark Brotherhood Assassin is giving you a choice: life or death.

- Written by: my bestfriend @pjm-com​ 

|| Masterlist ||

You feel the water subside as you’re picked up from the ground, spitting water from your mouth. 

“Get up,” You hear a man yell. It’s a little glitched, but your vision is cut off. There’s a blindfold over your face and your hands are tied, as you’re led to wherever the hell these idiots are taking you. You know you’ve left Resident Evil, the rain hard on your head while you try to figure out what other game you could possibly be in. Which others actually have a weather climate.

The first guy chuckles, followed by the second man. “Here boss.” He sounds a little more monotone as your feet hit the wooden plank of the building, making your knees buckle before you hit the middle of the floor. The rain hitting your face, ears perking at the boots hitting the floor.

“Whoever the fuck you guys are, you better tell me what the hell you want with me!”’

You’re shaking as you struggle to pick yourself up off the ground and move onto your knees, hearing another laugh that almost sounds scripted. Your head snaps towards the sound as someone cuts off your blindfold with a dagger that falls to the floor, an orcish dagger.

“Sleep well?”

Your eyes adjust towards the tall familiar figure of Astrid, the leader of the Dark Brotherhood. You’ve played this quest so many times before, but now you’re speechless as you sit on the floor with your limbs bound. You feel your stomach twist in anticipation as you clear your throat, but you don’t feel the need to run with the dialogue. You already know where you are, and who she was. So you decide to jump the gun. 

“You’re here because I killed Grelod the Kind, huh. The evil orphanage worker?” You hear yourself tremble, a little bit before you compose yourself. You’ve survived Resident Evil 7, and Skyrim wasn’t nearly as bad. As long as you avoided the dragons. She nods lightly, leg swinging as she pulls down the red mask that covers her face, twisted smile on her features.

Astrid cackles. “Grelod was, by all rights, a Dark Brotherhood contract. A Kill… that you stole.” 

She pauses, studying her Blade of Woe that holds ludicrous power. Almost every other stab paralyzes their target, a blade you needed while traveling through this game. One that was rewarded if you decided to stick with the dark brotherhood, or if you killed Astrid where she stood. Unsure of which you wanted to do, she goes on.

“A kill you must repay.”

“You want me to murder someone else?” You ask cautiously. “Who?”

She grins. “Well now, funny you should ask.”

The game lets you automatically free, letting you turn around to see the three captives in front of you. You’ve always just killed all of them in the game considering there isn’t a way for you to let them free if you only kill one of them. You listen to Astrid rant about the captives and how one has a contract. Only one of them has to die, and still to this day you had no idea who the hell it was. But you needed to figure it out fast. 

“Make your choice,” she continues. “Make your kill. I just want to observe… and admire.” 

She’s on about how you make your kill, and Astrid grants you the key to the shed if you kill them. You’re quick on your feet, pulling the glass sword from your back and taking a slice at the three captives. You watch the game splatter blood onto the floor, setting in the fear. The blood is real, and its sticking to your feet. And you just killed one guilty, two innocent. 

You turn to her, hearing her laugh behind you as she sits proudly. “Well, well. Aren’t we the overachiever. Three possibilities, three victims. Must have been one of them, right? So why take your chances?” She dodges the question of who was the real contract, and you decide to drop it. She drops the key in your hands, telling you it was important that you did as you were told. And if you decided to join them, she would welcome you with open arms. And then, she was gone. 

You turn to look at the bodies, guilt crawling up your spine before you shake your head. To finish this quest, you were going to have to kill many others, so you tried to push it to the back of your mind. Tell yourself that it was just a game, and be on your way. 

Looting the room for any valuables, you check how good your armor is. You see the old nordic armor and that’s when your realize you must be somewhat far in the game level wise. You push the key into the lock, opening the door as you step into the rain, washing your shoes of the blood as you watch it move into the soil. You’re unable to fast travel, so you start trekking your way through the land of Haafingar, where the capitol of Skyrim sits on the natural formed rock. 

You were getting out of this game one way or another.

Finally after what felt like years, you’ve mapped the terrain you’ve seen so far and finally have stepped foot in Falkreath; the town where the Dark Brotherhood keeps its sanctuary. It’s a little trickier to find, compared to the actual game, but you make your way into what seems like a caved in clearing and there it is. 

The huge black door sat right in front of your eyes, making you distracted from the pool of bubbling blood in the center of the crater in the earth. Taking timid steps, you admire how tall the door is, pressing your hand into the Dark Brotherhood’s logo and finally hear the door speak. 

“What is the music of life?” 

You breathe slowly, level head from the madness that is seeping through the cracks in the rocks. “Silence, my brother.”  You’re almost starting to think it’s not working considering nothing is happening, but sure enough the locks click. 

“Welcome home.”

You push open the concrete door, and shut it behind you before making your way down the cave before you see Astrid in the door way next to what seems like a desk. It was filled with lists and contracts, and sacks of gold. They meant business down here. You approach her slowly, her head turning as she wears a wicked grin. There’s fresh blood on her armor which makes you lean back a bit. 

“Ah, at last! I hope you found the place all right,” she hums proudly, happy that she has added another to her family. You nod answering her question, fighting the urge to fidget with your thumb knowing she’ll notice the weakness. 

“So… what happens now?”

Astrid circles you. “Well, what happens now is you start your new life in the Dark Brotherhood. You’re a part of the family, after all.” She says softly, voice thick and melodic almost like she was born to rule and lead. She picks at her nails uninterested in the conversation as she sits at her desk. 

“This, as you can see, is our Sanctuary. You won’t find a safer place in all of Skyrim,” she laughs, playing with the Blade of Woe carelessly in her hands. “So get comfortable.” You take a look around, eyes fixating on a Stone of Barenziah that is sitting perfectly on the dresser in the next room. It takes all your power not to stuff it in your pocket considering you never had the chance to collect all twenty four in the game. Astrid is waiting your answer, and you can either sound like you’re sucking up, or like you want to get the job done. 

You go with the ladder.

“When do I get to kill someone?” You ask blandly, and she kicks her feet onto her desk, smiling. 

“Soon, my dearest. Soon. I’m arranging a job for you, but I need some more time. For now, go talk to Nazir. He may have some smaller contracts to tide you over.” You nod, about to walk past her before she laughs. “Soon, the Night Mother will arrive. And things around here are sure to get even more interesting.”

You’re trying to decipher the words, wondering if she knew the Night Mother was against everything Astrid believed in. In the game, The Dark Brotherhood always followed The Five tenets, which are a set of rules the Dark Brotherhood followed up to and during the Oblivion crisis. Once Astrid became the leader, she dropped the old ways and you think anyone who wants to turn back to the old threaten her leadership… who knows. 

“Ah, but one last thing,” She starts again pushing clothes into your hands, making you wish you had just walked past her and into the sanctuary. “A welcome home present. The armor of the Dark Brotherhood. May it serve you well in all your… endeavors.” Finally you’re free and you notice the new armor in your hand, and you’re quick to change into it adding points to your protection. You feel more normal now wearing the amor, pulling the cowl over your head and emerging deeper into the ruins before seeing many others just like you. 

They’re all in a circle, starting with Babette telling a story about how she killed an old man preying on her, admiring the young Vampire. As much as you wanted to stay and listen, you push past the new members to find Nazir who is listening carefully to Babette. 

His voice booms low and smooth, like everyone here had an alluring voice. He’s a Redguard, a skilled fighter with curved swords and poisons. You’re glad you’re on the same side. 

“So you’re the newest member of our dwindling, dysfunctional little family. I’ve heard quite a bit about you.” Nazir said with a stone face, making you question what the hell he’s heard. You’ve been inside of the sanctuary for not even ten minutes. You’re ready to introduce yourself but he stops. “Save the niceties for now. I have no intention of getting invested in someone who may be dead tomorrow. If you’re still breathing in a few weeks, I’m sure we’ll be the best of friends.” Right.

You retrain your thoughts, crossing your arms as you look around. “Astrid said you’d have some work for me?”

Nazir scoffs. “Did she, now? Well, as it turns out, there are a few lingering contracts we haven’t had the chance to complete just yet. And more, dribbling in from time to time. I’ll assign them to you as they become available. To be completed at your leisure.” You always liked getting quests from him. They weren’t huge ones that demanded you go traveling through Dwarven ruins, they were small ones that weren’t time sensitive. “Sound’s easy enough.”

“It is,” he snorts. “These aren’t particularly glamorous assassinations, I’ll be honest. Don’t pay much, either.” He goes on about the price of the kills, and how you can ‘turn them in’. Either after you complete them, or all at once. The first three were going to be easy to kill, but they were all around the map of Skyrim so you figure it best that you turn them in all at once. It would save you the running back and forth. 

Once he hands you the three available kills, you’re pushing through the black door and into the wilderness of Falkreath. The little hold was secluded southwest of Whiterun, the biggest hold on the continent. Which basically means, you’re screwed if you wanted to get these kills done fast. 

Like you had thought before, they weren’t hard.

The first one you went for, the easiest one, was Narfi. He was a beggar that lived in an old abandoned house right on the waterfall in Ivarstead. You’ve been to that town many times to walk the seven thousand steps on your way to learn from the Greybeards. And hell, you’re happy you weren’t stuck doing that quest. Narfi is asleep, as always, and a simple arrow to the his back was easy to kill him quickly and be on your way to Windhelm. 

The aforementioned city was known for the water supply around it, the mills along the river were great places to find jobs if one was looking. Thats where the next target was. Ennodius. His kill was fairly easy as well, if you had the right angle. You snuck up behind him in the small tent he slept in outside of the mill. You used your dagger this time instead, pushing the blade deep into his back for an instant kill granted by the game. 

You oddly felt remorse for the fictional characters, wondering who on earth would want them dead. Either way, you had to pursue somehow to get the hell back to your home. 

Dawnstar wasn’t far from there, one of the snowiest provinces in Skyrim. It had mines there which were good for finding ebony and steel, and Betild was the one who owned the mine. She was a badass if you’ve ever seen one, showing the men who worked alongside her how it was done. You wouldn’t be surprised if it was one of her fellow employee’s who had dropped the hit. 

There was never a good way, from what you remember, to kill her silently as you watched her character haunched over the drawing table. You steadied your arrow on the base of your thumb, pulling it all the way back to your ear and closing one eye. You take a breath and let go of the line, watching the arrow fly down and hit Betild. Your eyes are wide, wondering if it was the armor that made you almost perfect, or if you’ve had a genuine knack for this thing. You make a mental note, that once you’re the hell out of this game, you’re going to try it. 

The guards hadn’t found you, and to your concern you were home free, jumping down from the roof and into the snow, hearing the fresh crunch under your feet. You make your way back towards the carriage, knowing it would take you to Falkreath as you jumped in the back. Planting forty gold inside the drivers hand, you settle yourself in, ready to get some shut eye for the long trip. 

Well, the trip to Falkreath felt like two minutes for you, seeing that if you took the carriage in the game, you automatically fast traveled. Oddly you felt tired, but maybe it would go away. You were still unsure the dynamics of this game. 

You stepped down from the wooden carriage and waited for the horseman to be far enough before you trailed back into the woods to the sanctuary, trying to be mindful that no one sees you. You’re dreading to turn in your contracts, knowing you would be sent on a wild chase to kill a bandit holed up in a Dwarven ruin. To your surprise, and relief, once you step inside, Astrid is nowhere to be seen. 

You’re thinking for a second maybe the game is glitched, but as you head into the heart of the sanctuary, one of the main characters of the Dark Brotherhood quest line is already there, meaning it had skipped the quest before. 

Not complaining, you quickly turn in your targets to Nazir, quick to greet the jester, Taehyung. 

“Another member of the family! Hello, hello. So very good to meet you!” 

The enthusiasm in his voice was comical, exactly what you expected from the video game jester. You try not to get too close to him considering that he was, fictional for one, but also potentially damaging to the dark brotherhood. 

“It’s good to meet you too, Taehyung!” You smile at him, in turn he does his little weird dance that always made you laugh as you played the regular game. He clicked his heels around before beaming back at you.

“So polite!” He yelled, teeth flashing at you. You felt almost calmed by him, even if he was a madman. “Taehyung likes you. The Night Mother is sure to like you too. Oh, we’re going to be fast friends. Fast friends!”

You decided to leave the charming jester to his duties to their night mother, but you look around. Everyone was greeting the jester who had brought the memories of old times back to the Dark Brotherhood. Astrid, who had a scowl on her face, was leaning against the wall as she watched them all interact. You could tell there was a hint of jealousy in her eyes, but you wanted to mind your business. 

Astrid does, indeed grant you to Mourning Never Comes quest, killing the bandit thug in the Dwarven ruins. You make it short, killing who you had to and nothing more, turning back towards the sanctuary to get ready for the start of another quest. 

The longest one in the game, and the last one.

Upon reentering the sanctuary, you’re stopped as you report. Something tells you Astrid is on edge, even in her voice she sounds a little scared. 

“I need your assistance with a matter of a more… personal nature.” Astrid says it quietly like she was trying to keep it from someone, in which you move closer to her to listen better. 

“Is something wrong?”

“It’s Taehyung.” She wasted no time in diving in. “Ever since he arrived, his behavior’s been.. well, erratic would be an understatement. I do believe he is truly mad.” Panic is relevant in her voice as she stabs her knife into the table, turning towards you. 

“But its worse than that.. He’s taken to locking himself in the Night Mother’s chamber, and talking. To someone. In hushed, but frantic tones.” You listen carefully, wondering if he was really as crazy as she said. He didn’t seem the type to want to overthrow the blonde leader. “Who is he speaking with? What are they planning? I fear treachery.” 

You remain silent, one of the safe options in the game. Astrid is unraveling piece by piece as she runs her hand through her hair. 

“You must understand,” she pleads, eyes wide and frantic. “If Taehyung is turning the others against me… against us… our family would not survive such division.” You blink in awe, not really thinking that he could be capable of that, considering he had no true motive to turn the brotherhood on each other. 

You tread lightly. “What do you want me to do?” 

“Dear sister,” she laughs. “I need you to steal into that chamber, and eavesdrop on their meeting. It’ll be no use clinging to the shadows. They’ll see you for sure. No, you need a hiding place. Somewhere they’d never think to look.” She takes a break, blue eyes crazy as they stare you down. You can tell her head is all over the place, even if her voice remains unwavered. 

“Like, inside the night mothers coffin.”

You can’t even believe your ears, eyes wide as you pull down the black mask covering your face. To hide in a coffin with their dead Dremora seemed outrageous. She was serious about Taehyung trying to take over, considering she started urging you towards the resting place. 

“But that seems so… disrespectful.” You don’t mean to come off so harsh but she shrugged off your words. 

“Be that as it may, we have no other choice. You need to remain unseen! Now go! Before they meet. And report back to me with whatever you learn.”

With that, she’s pushing you deeper into the cavern as you make your way to the coffin. You notice everyone turning in for the night, and you feel nerves crawling up your neck. You have to calm yourself down, creeping into the night mothers room, considering that you knew Taehyung would be frantic and crazy after he finds out you had been spying on him. 

Of course it’s locked as you reach the huge metal holder, taking a lock pick to the latch before it clicks open. You’re grossed out by the mummy like corpse in there, but the game drags you into the coffin anyways as the door locks behind you. You’re face to face with their dead god, while footsteps follow right in. You hear the wicked humming, hands caressing the outside of the coffin before Taehyung starts talking. 

“Are we alone? Yes… yes… alone. Sweet Solitude. No one will ever hear us, disturb us. Everything is going to according to plan.  The others… I’ve spoken to them. And they’re coming around, I know it. The wizard, Festus Krex… perhaps even the Argonian, and the un-child. What about you? Have you… have you spoken to anyone? No… of course not. I do the talking, the stalking, the seeing and the saying. And what do you do? Nothing! Not… not that I’m angry! No… never! Taehyung understands. Heh.. Taehyung always understands! And obeys!”

You cringe as you listen to him talking to himself, sighing in disgust at the corpse as he goes on. 

“You will talk when you’re ready, won’t you? Wont you… sweet night mother.”

You’re about ready to fall asleep before the night mother’s corpse glows, and you about shit your pants. 

“Poor Taehyung,” she croaks, her aura and spirit engulfing you enough to almost suffocate you. “Dear Taehyung.. Such a humble servant, but he will never hear my voice. For he is not the listener.”

Taehyung cuts in. “Oh, but how can I defend you? How can I exert your will? If you will not speak? To anyone?”

“Oh, but I will speak.” She continues. “I will speak to you, for you are the one. Yes, you. You, who shares my iron tomb, who warms my ancient bones, I give you this task; journey to Volunruud. Speak with Around Motierre.”

Her tomb goes black as you are turned in the coffin, Taehyung’s voice ringing in your ear.

“Poor Taehyung has failed you. Poor Taehyung is sorry, sweet mother. I’ve tried, so very hard. But I just can’t find the listener.”

The Night mother speaks again. “Tell Taehyung that the time has come. Tell him the words he has been waiting for, all these years.” As she whispers the sacred words, you’re pulled out of the coffin and onto your ass, Taehyung holding a knife to your throat. 

You have to admit, the crazy look in his eyes as he held your head back was probably the hottest thing you’ve seen all day. Until he started yelling. 

“What? What treachery! Defiler! Debaser and defiler! You have violated the sanctity of the Night Mother’s coffin. Explain yourself!”

You lay there out of breath, as he yells. “Speak worm!”

You push him off of you, the bells on his boots jingle as he falls back. “The night mother spoke to me! She said I am the one! She said to tell you, ‘Darkness rises when silence dies’.” 

He stopped in his tracks, knife long forgotten on the floor as he breathed. “Then it is true! She is back, our lady is back! She’s chosen a listener, she has chosen you!” He starts to click his heels, happy as he reveled in celebration, the sound of footsteps pausing the laughter as the doors to the night mothers chamber had been opened. 

Astrid stood at the door, panting as her face was drained of color. “By within, this ends now! Back away, fool. Whatever you’ve been planning is over!”

You listen to them go back and forth about the listener, before Astrid rushes into you, her face full of disbelief. 

“When I heard Taehyung screaming, I knew you had been discovered. I feared the worst. Are you all right?”

You nod as she checks over you. “Yes, I’m fine.”

She’s quick to cut you off. “Then what in within’ name is going on? Taehyung spoke to the night mother, but she spoke to you? Is this more of his rambling?” 

“It’s true,” you pant. “The night mother spoke to me, she said I was the one. She told me to meet with Amound Motierre in Volunruud.”

She seems surprised, and almost a little hurt as she retreats from the close proximity she had on you. 

“I have no idea who that is,” She admits.  “But Volunruud. I have heard of that, and I know where it is.”

You cautiously follow her as she almost storms off back to her office. “Should I go to Volunruud? I should talk to this man?”

Astrid stops in her tracks, turning on you as your eyes grow like saucers. 

“No,” she mumbles before yelling. “No! Listen, I don’t know what’s going on here, but you take your orders from me. Are we clear on that?” You can tell she’s losing a grip as she storms off towards the table. 

“Go see Nazir, do some work for him. I’ll find you when Im ready to discuss the matter further.” With that, she’s sending you off, and you’re dreading the next few contracts but at least it keeps you busy. Killing a vampire and an Orc isn’t easy, but they definitely pass the time. You were honestly a little scared. You’re curious if the game is going to stray from the storyline. Astrid was intimidating, yes, but you know that she’s actually on edge. From what you can tell, she’s a little skeptical of the jester and yourself. 

Not before long you’re back in front of Astrid, her office silent as she’s figuring out what to say. 

Finally, she speaks. “We need to talk.” The tone startles you as you nod for her to continue. “Something is happening here. I’m not sure entirely what that something is, but… well, we need to find out. If the night mother really did give you an order to talk to a contract, we’d be mad to ignore it. Having Taehyung here has caused enough madness, I think you’ll agree.”

You nod, ready to speak but she points to the door. “Go, sister. Go to Volunruud and find Amound Motierre and see where all this leads.” You get the notification that you have another quest as you move out of the stone iron door, and make your way to Volunruud. 

It’s past Whiterun and in the mountains. Once you finally get to the ruin, you open the double gate to the stone resting place of many Nords. Its eerily quiet, and you can almost hear your own heartbeat, but you aren’t worn out yet. Thanks to the fast travel. 

You delve deeper into the ruins, pulling out your dagger from its holder as a couple of skeletons approach you, the yellow torches lighting your way as you slice them into dust, stepping over their bodies before moving into the cavern. 

There he stood, past a dead drauger and past a hanging of vines, he stands proud with a bodyguard close behind him. 

“The night mother heard your pleas, Motierre.”

His bodyguard stands even closer as he nods frantically. “I’m so glad you’re here. Please, allow me to state my business. Surely your time is as valuable as my own. I would like to arrange a contract. Several, actually. I daresay, the most important work your organization has had in, well… centuries.”

“Go on,” You urge, watching the way he fiddled with an expensive looking amulet. 

“As I said, I want you to kill several people. You’ll find the targets, as well as their manners of elimination, quite varied. I’m sure someone of you disposition will probably even find it enjoyable. But you should know that these killings are but means to an end. For they pace the way to the most important target.”

Motierre seems almost bursting with excitement. “The real reason I’m speaking with a cutthroat in the bowels of this detestable crypt, for I seek the assassination of the emperor.”

You shrug, not even phased. “Leaders rise and fall. Business is business.”

He sighed in relief. “Here. Take these. They need to be delivered to your um.. superior.” His bodyguard. Rexus, delivers the items to you. The letter in detail is what needs to be done, while the amulet is for the payment. 

You take everything, asking no more questions, and getting the hell out of the little crypt as you scramble through the doors. You bound over to Astrid, almost knocking into her as you give her the information. 

“He wants us to kill the emperor!”

“You’re joking.” Her eyes widen as you hand her the amulet and the letter, eyes mulling over the items in her hand. “I guess we should follow the list and kill whoever is first huh?” Her eyes gleam with an almost sadistic glow. You gather things for your trip, moving past the huge stone door before meeting Taehyung at the entrance. He has a sack with him as well, much like yours and you’re confused. He never followed the listener in the game, so you’re wondering if this is just another glitch. 

He smiles like the dork he is, moving towards you as you both move towards the exit of the forest. 

“You okay if I come with you? Taehyung hasn’t had a good adventure in a while,” He hummed, making you laugh to yourself. He was funny. 

You shrug. “Sure I don’t see why not.. You’d just be sitting in the sanctuary tending to the night mother right?” Taehyung seems a little surprised, but he’s back on the beat as you guys make the way towards solitude. You weren’t gonna bother making the trip to and fro in between targets. You knew who you needed to kill and you’re hoping the end of this quest gets you the fuck out of here. 

“Yeah! Haha, funny thing is, that’s exactly what I would do. Have been doing it for years and years now.. I needed something different. Not sure what it is, but you seem like something I should follow.” Your eyebrow raises as Taehyung’s words but he quickly shakes his head, taking out a small bottle of Nord mead. “So, who are we killing first?”

“The emperor,” You say dryly, like it wasn’t this huge task. “We’re heading to solitude to kill his niece… at her wedding.” Taehyung laughs first and you follow suit, snickering behind your hand. It was twisted, and in any other situation you’d feel bad, but you knew in this game there would be minimal blood. Not like Resident Evil.

“That’s pretty funny, Y/N!” 

You smile but stay silent, trekking to Solitude as the night falls even darker. It was nice having Taehyung with you. The dark twisted joke he cracked on the way made the trip more bearable. Thanks to the game, you didn’t get anymore tired as you decided to fast travel the rest of the way to Skyrim’s capital. You felt a little nervous, even more so when Cicero mentioned that he was wanted in this town anyways. You snuck him in during the night, cowering by the walls as you climbed up to the security guard bridges, and waited on the ledge. You notice the loose gargoyle, and sit by it until the night slowly turned into the day. 

Taehyung sat close to you, a huge hood covering his features as he looked at you. You guess you kinda stared back at him for a moment, studying the soft features he had which was a deep contrast to his personality. 

“What?” You laugh, which makes Taehyung shrug. 

“Dunno,” he mumbles. He was fighting with the little bell on his jester outfit, moving to check to see Vitoria about to give her speech. You could sense he was going to say something, but Taehyung was up in seconds with his palms on the stone gargoyle hanging over her head. “Cmon! Quickly!”

You sprint up, hands helping his as you push the stone out of the holding, watching it fall a couple feet, before watching the bride herself fall to the floor. You and Taehyung are quick to make a getaway, almost tripping yourself as you escaped out of the side gates of the hold. It was fun, laughing with the brunette as you made it past the huge river, seeing the emperor’s huge ship. You and Taehyung take a double take at each other. 

“I’ve never seen his ship here this early?” You nod along with the jester, looking towards the huge wooden ship that was docking down at the East Empire Company. You’re wondering if you should cut the mission short. “You’re not supposed to be here are you?” Your eyes widen as you turn to him. You’re at a loss for words as you turn to him, crouching in the bushes just outside of the docs. 

“What do you mean?”

Taehyung shrugs. “Ever since I met you in the Sanctuary, I just knew that you weren’t supposed to be there. Even if you were special,” He laughed, face turning red before he looked to the ship. “Cmon.. You wanna take him out right here?” You look at him like a madman, cause he is.. but you were shocked. 

“You uh.. you don’t want to follow the plan?” You wondered if it would mess up the game for him, but it seemed Taehyung didn’t really care. He pulled your arm towards a huge bush, undergrowth and all as he crouched. 

“I mean.. I think after you leave, the world will return to how it was before I met you, and before I joined the dark brotherhood. I’ll be traveling with the night mother, and I won’t know Astrid. She plans to kill me, so. Once I get you out of here, I’ll be safe..” He looked a little sad, hand moving to hold yours. “Even if I really don’t want you to go.. If you were to stay and continue the quest, I know you would protect me from her, and soon I would be able to be your loyal father but.. Obviously you’re not supposed to be here..”

You smiled at him, holding his hand back. You wondered if you guys would really be here for a while, long enough to have a relationship, but that’s not where your head is. Your head is trying to get the hell out of here. 

“Yeah.. I should really get back.. even if I want to stay as well.”

Taehyung sighed. “Well.. let’s get a move on then.”

You guys trek through the shallow water before you’re swimming under the boat, pulling the chain that leads to the deepest part of the ship. You guys both start sneaking, your bow in hand while Taehyung had his dagger. You guys take turns silently killing people, your bow moving through the air to hit unsuspecting soldiers in the head, while Taehyung uses the backstab skill to kill others as well without alerting the whole ship. 

You’re moving past the Emperor’s guards like nothing, using the last couple of arrows as you finally reach the captain’s quarters, the emperor sitting in his chair. Emperor Titus Mede, sitting and waiting for your arrival. You and Taehyung share surprised looks that there’s no guards, and Titus Mede starts talking.

“And, Once more, I prove Commander Maro the fool. I told him you can’t stop the Dark Brotherhood. Never could.” You move forward in shock, before he starts talking directly to you. “Come now, don’t be shy. You haven’t come this far just to stand there gawking.”

“You were… expecting me?”

“You and I have a date with destiny, it would seem. But so it is with assassins and emperors, hmm? Yes, I must die. And you must deliver the blow. It is simply the way it is. But I wonder… would you suffer an old man a few more words, before the deed is done?” You remain silent, as if telling him to go on. “You will hear me out, then? Good.”

“You will kill me, and I have accepted that fate. But regardless of your path through life, I sense in you a certain… ambition. So I ask of you a favor. And Old man’s dying wish. While there are many who would see me dead, there is one who set the machine in motion. This person, whomever he or she may be, must be punished for their treachery. Once you have been rewarded for my assassination, I want you to kill the very person who ordered it. Would you do me this kindness?”

You sit and mull over the idea in your head, turning to Taheyung as you nod. 

“I’ll consider your request.”

The emperor smiles. “Now onto the business on hand…” he gets up and turn away from you, as he waits for the final blow. You waste no time in pulling back your bow, lodging the arrow right into the back of his head as he falls down to his doom, the dangerous music chanting in your ears finally coming to a rest as he dies. 

You and Taehyung stare at each other before he sighs, looking at you. “Now that’s no fun.. he didn’t even put up a fight.” The jester laughs, before crossing his arms. “I’ll make sure Amound Motierre dies, after you leave, Y/N.”

“Thank you,” you say quietly, eyes wide as you watch him pull out the blade he kept on him, pressing a kiss to your lips. One that was so soft and tender, you still felt it tingling as he knocked the living daylights out of you. 

The next scene that your eyes lay on, is a wooden door in the middle of a stone cold room. 

[freeshavacado]

My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

[blueishfood]

The Rider, Chapter 3

Pairing: Hiccup x Astrid

Words: 2,7 k

Warning(s): Mentions of rape

Summary: She was a trapper. Born a trapper, grown a trapper. Her parents and all those before her were trappers. All her life Astrid’s been told that dragons were beasts and monsters. So what happens when she meats the Rider, the devil in human form, who believes dragons could be friends?

A/N: This is an alternate universe fic where Astrid Hofferson is a trapper and Hiccup Haddock lives alone with his dragons. I wrote this years ago, but I just kind of never published it anywhere? So here it is, sorry for bad writing and stuff but again, old fic. If you’re sensitive to mentioning of rape, do not read this! It does not happen in the fic, and it will not be described, but it is mentioned as one of the characters are affected by this.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Astrid looked at how huge the skeleton was and felt a feeling of slight fear shiver up her spine. They had been looking for this nest for ages. What if they had found it before this beast was dead? They would have been killed, all of them with only a swipe of its tale.

The giant dragon skeleton was big and only partly crushed, the skin had rotted years ago, but the reek of the beast was still very recognizable. The bone around the dragon didn’t seem to belong to only itself, its surroundings looked a lot like it had become an dragon graveyard. Astrid recognized many of the sculls she had seen in her hometown, but many were also new.

Astrid jumped off Stormfly as they landed, her feet barely hitting the ground before she heard bone clattering behind her. Believing that it was the man with the dragon, she turned quickly to ask him her many questions. But stopped dead in her tracks.

Staring back at her petite frame stood an intimidating dragon, bigger, stronger and more frightening than she’d ever seen before. She recognized the beast from Gobber’s scare-tales. 

“Bone-Knapper,” She whispered in awe. A few seconds the two warriors simply stared at each other. Completely frozen in time. With a speed only known by those in battle, Astrid flung her body towards Stormfly, but the dragon covered in bones was too fast. It put its gigantic claws over her and trapped her, a blade-like claw on each side of her head.

From a distance Hiccup saw Astrid getting trapped. “Faster Toothless, faster!” The nightfury was already pushing himself to the limit.

Astrid let out a shuttering breath of air. She felt the weight of the bone knapper’s foot on her chest, and she was sure that this would be her ending.

The dragon boy had led her to her death. She should never have trusted that monster. In her mind she still heard his voice, in her last moments, somehow his voice was what reached her.

“Hey! Hey, over here!” Oh… wait… No that was not her imagination. The claws lifted and let her out of her prison. Astrid scrambled away from the place where she had been trapped breathing heavily.

She looked up as a hand grabbed hers and pulled her to her feet. Her legs couldn’t hold her, and she fell back onto the ground. The rider sighed and lifted her up in his hands, bridal style. Astrid didn’t say much.

He just saved her life, why she didn’t know, but at least he wouldn’t kill her. She watched him put her in front on Toothless. Without a word he sat behind her, with his chest pressed against her back making his body a safe chair for her. Then they took off.

In the air Astrid breathed in the feeling of flying again. On Stormfly it was an adrenalin kick so big and amazing that it blew Astrid’s mind. On Toothless, with the Rider it was different. It calmed her in a way nothing else had before. Weird. Feeling calm with a person she had never known.

Somehow, she knew that he was mad at her. Perhaps for going down to the skeleton without his permission. That was the only reason Astrid could think of. But he was angry, that was for certain. His chest was rigid against her back, and she watched his knuckles turn white on the end of the saddle. Astrid had never been one to dance around the question.

“Why are you angry?” The rider shook his head.

“I’m not.” Astrid glanced unimpressed at the rider and stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“Yes, you are,” She continued not long after.

“No Astrid, I’m not!” Astrid watched Toothless roll his eyes under them.

“But you are though.” With a frustrated shout Hiccup dropped onto his back.

“Let’s go home bud.” He turned his head to Stormfly who was gliding beside them.

“Home, Stormfly.” The giant bird squawked happily and bobbed her head before setting course for the red glowing volcano. The blonde crossed her arms unsatisfied.

“Fine, but don’t think you’ve won this.” The rider rolled his eyes but stayed silent.

Astrid broke the silence not long after.

“So, I thought you said all dragons are your friends?” The auburn-haired man chuckled.

“Didn’t say that exactly.” He rolled his shoulders as he started explaining.

“Well, most of them are soft when you get to know them. It really depends on the dragon. They have personalities just like us humans.” Astrid huffed and glanced sceptically over at the rider but said nothing.

“Usually I get to know them, and they soften a little bit. But… I never really figured out what’s got his tail in a knot though.” He was silent for a while and Astrid let the feeling of soft wind stroking her cheeks fill her. “Can’t save everyone I guess.” The rider chuckled but there was something sad to the laughter, something that he held back. Astrid didn’t prod.

They neared the volcano not long afterwards.

“Better hold your breath, hunter.” The rider shouted over the wind as Toothless climbed in altitude and let himself fall. The hole of the volcano grew larger every second and the bubbling red lava seemed to rise towards them. They were plummeting towards death and for some reason they did not slow down.

“Rider, rider! We’re getting too close! Rider!” Astrid screamed as the volcano devoured them. Either the rider didn’t hear her, or he was ignoring her because he didn’t stop.

“I don’t know what it is but whatever I did I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

The young woman who was not at all used to flying shouted as many curses as she could think of while pressing her back to the Rider in fear.

“For the love of-! Thor almighty-what are you doing?! Rider!” The warm, dry ashes of the volcano flew like black snow around them. She breathed it in as she screamed, it dried up her throat, she couldn’t breathe.

Only a few seconds before they hit the lava Toothless turned like he had done it a thousand times before and flew into a cave opening that Astrid hadn’t noticed. The slim nightfury effortlessly glided through the dark cave-halls and landed in a large area.

Astrid scrambled off Toothless, not willing to stay on the flying death machine for one more minute. Only when she felt safe sitting on the black ground did she look at her surroundings.

The room she was sitting in was filled with different machines and devices. She didn’t know what most of them was. Many weapons hung on the walls and none were alike. There were canons, bows, crossbows, swords, daggers and axes. A part of the wall was completely covered in tools, a lot like Gobber’s workshop.

In the centre of the cave was a gigantic tree-bowl so large that two persons could fit in the bottom of it if they curled up. It was filled to the brim with the brightest most wonderful water she’d ever seen. The water dripped in a steady stream from a hole in the ceiling. Toothless wandered over to the bowl with a happy gurgling sound to drink a few gulps of water as Astrid realized that it had to be manmade.

She glanced at Hiccup who also was drinking from the bowl and shook her head. This guy had to be mad.

With a look of wonder Astrid took in the rest of the room, in a corner lied a sleeping full grown nightmare. The rider didn’t seem to pay it any mind. But what surprised Astrid was the tiny holes in the cave.

Inside the miniature caves were every dragon she could imagine; some she’d only heard legends about and many she’d never seen or heard of. Nadders, Zipplebacks, Nightmares, Gronckles, Timberjacks, Stormcutters, Speed Stingers, Changewings even a tiny Scrill.

And all were babies. Dragon babies. She’d never seen dragon babies before. She’d always assumed that they existed of course, but the dragons never brought their young to fight humans. And the weirdest thing was; they were cute. They looked almost as if they couldn’t harm a soul.

Almost.

“They’re cute, right?” Astrid nodded, frowning slightly.

“How can something so cute turn into something so deadly?” The rider sat down beside her.

“By seeing the world for what it truly is long before they’re ready for it. A lot like humans.” Astrid looked down at her boots. Did that happen to her? Did she see the world before she was ready? She’d never thought of it that way before. She didn’t really like to think of it that way either.

“When are you going to let me go?” The rider looked at Astrid and grinned jokingly.

“Why, is it really so bad here?” Astrid frowned, refusing to look at the rider.

“I don’t trust anyone, especially not you.” He nodded and turned to look at Toothless and Stormfly.

“That makes sense. Survival instincts.” He stood and brushed off his pants.

“I don’t know,” He answered.

“Guess we’ll have to wait until the Vikings aren’t on guard anymore. Stormfly pretty much messed up all my plans for this entire month. We’ll have to lay low for a while.” He offered his gloved hand to Astrid, helping her get up.

“Then we’ll drop you off somewhere, you’ll forget what you saw, and everything will go back to normal.” He hesitated slightly, and a smaller, more genuine smile lighted up his features.

“Unless you decide otherwise,” He continued.

If Astrid hadn’t at that exact moment realized that she couldn’t walk, she’d probably asked the rider about those last words. But given the circumstances, she didn’t.

With a small shout Astrid fell back down, her ankle twisting in a painful angle.

“Ouch, dragon dung.” She grabbed her ankle and twisted it the right way. Not letting out a sound.

Stupid pain.

“What did you do to my legs, rider?” The rider didn’t answer, he looked at her feet with thoughtful eyes.

“I swear I will kill you,” Astrid threatened as the nightfury growled.

“Slowly,” She added, looking in the nightfury’s eyes.

“Painfully,” She continued, realizing that the nightfury didn’t like her very much.

“Unless you undo whatever happened to my feet.” The rider stayed silent.

Then, seemingly without thinking about it much, he lifted her like a bride and walked deeper into the system of caves. Astrid had assumed the cave where they landed was the only cave.

Astrid should stop assuming stuff.

The cave led to a corridor where one could take several swings and turns into different rooms. She didn’t like being carried by the rider much but got distracted as she watched the rooms they walked past.

She recognized a blacksmiths cave with a giant burning oven, along with several tools, small and big.

Next was a cave where water boiled in giant holes in the ground, that cave was steaming.

They also walked past at least four caves with sleeping dragons, Astrid tried not to breathe so much around those caves in the hope of none of them waking up. The rider walked steadily and didn’t look like he had any problem carrying a grown woman in his arms.

Astrid sat uncomfortably stiff in the rider’s arms. She didn’t like being carried or held or hugged, she really didn’t like being touched in any way.

They took a turn into a slightly smaller cave. The room they were in had walls covered in drawings and paintings, white against black.

The drawings were peculiar, they weren’t drawings of people or landscapes or settings, but they were beautiful in an entirely different way.

They were drawings of inventions, covered with numbers and angles and instructions. Some paintings held detailed descriptions of dragons. They showed where every limb started and ended, those were also accompanied by instructions. Instructions of how to tame them, how to befriend them and secrets of how to make them stronger. Some of the dragon paintings even had colours. Astrid scanned the drawings and wondered exactly how smart this dragon rider really was.

The room held many other items as well.

A desk covered most of the wall to their right. It was filled with parchment in one end, sheets of paper with scribbles of dragons and inventions also covering most of the wall above the desk.

On the floor by the other side of the desk were huge amounts of trinkets. The part of the desk that was not covered by papers were seemingly clean for the occupation of one single invention. Astrid couldn’t see what it was, but metal pins, leather and tiny metal balls were laid untidily on the wooden table.

A bed was stuffed in a corner, and clothes along with inventions was scattered around the room. Something that looked a lot like scrap-metal was piled up to their left. Astrid recognized strange swords, small daggers and a shining, perfectly balanced axe. Thor, she wanted that axe.

With a tiny gasp she realized where the rider was headed. The fur-covered bed in the corner. Her hands shook. “What are you doing?” Astrid asked, grasping the rider’s arm painfully. The rider looked at Astrid like it was obvious and shook his head as she didn’t seem less panicked.

“Where are you taking me?” If she could have, she would’ve kicked him by now.  

The rider started talking, trying to calm the girl down.

“Don’t worry, if you would just-!” It didn’t help. It was as if Astrid didn’t hear him. Everything was a blur.

“Stop it. Stop!” She shouted. The blonde grabbed his hair and tugged it back, making the man stumble and fall. He made sure that she somehow landed on top of him. He groaned. Astrid tried getting away from the rider to no help. She couldn’t walk, she couldn’t move. He could do anything with her. Anything.

Astrid started to tremble. The shadow of a night she’d desperately tried to forget jumped at her again. She was back where she started. She could never escape from what he’d made her. She felt her eyes water, but she wouldn’t start that now. She would not let this creature of a man see her cry. She wiped her eyes furiously and dragged herself a few meters away from the rider, backing up to a wall. The man stood up and sighed.

“What is going on, Astrid? Why are you so-.”

He stopped mid-sentence, glancing between Astrid and the bed. With a defeated sound he realized what she’d been thinking.

A fury raged in his emerald eyes.

“What did he do?” The auburn haired demanded an answer through clenched teeth.

“What in Helheim did that scum do to you?!” Astrid flinched and scooted further up against the wall. She shook her head.

She couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t tell anyone. And he was a stranger, the rider, she couldn’t let him in on her darkest secret. Why he had such a reaction to what had happened to her, she didn’t know. A silence like a thick blanket covered the room. The rider slumped against a wall and slid down, so he was sitting as she was.

“I would never...” He mumbled after a while. Astrid looked up at the man she barely knew and tipped her head.

“What?” She asked, still shaking a bit. The rider didn’t answer at once. He sighed and shook his head before standing up.

“I was going to offer you my bed.” He gestured to the mountain of furs. Astrid remained silent.

The rider sighed audibly. “I’m not good at… talking… to people.” He kept his hands at his sides, his eyes avoided her. “Uh…Sorry bout that.” His hand twitched as if he wanted to reach out to her, but she flinched. He took a few skittish steps away, like a spooked dragon.

“I… your legs will be fine. You’ll just have to sleep it off. Happens after the first ride, it’s worse when you don’t have a saddle.” He backed out of the room and gestured around the room awkwardly.

“You-uh-make yourself comfy. There’s water over there, and-um-call out and I’ll get you whatever… anything we can provide. I’ll just-er-leave… now.” Then he was gone.

Astrid shivered even though the room was warm. Slowly but surely, she crawled over to the bed and under the covers. She kicked off her boots and pulled off her armour. She kept on most of her clothing. She still didn’t trust that odd man. The covers were warm and inviting. She fell asleep almost at once.

-------------------

A/N: So this became a bit longer than what I was expecting? But this story is my baby so it’s okay ;-) 

[iusedtoknowwhatawishwasfor]

Queequeg's Resurrection

For: Astrid // Berenbos

QUEEQUEG

Oh my glob. Oh my glob. Oh my glob. I think that's what my human, Mommy, says. There was a big thing like another doggie but with no hair and lots of teethies. I think it wanted to eat me! I got away but he ripped out some of my feathers. My feathers are little perfect fluffy hairs on the back of my legs. That's what they are called - look it up. I swears. 

My poor feathers. BUT - I runned away and now I'm hiding. It's very wet here and the grass is higher than me. This isn't like where Mommy and me live so’s I hope I find her. She has red hair like me and always smells nice and gives me treaties. She is nice and soft to lay on when she watches the glowy box. 

I don't hear the toothy dog anymore, so I am going to see if I can move from here. I poke my nose out and sniff the air. I don't smell its weird stinky smell so I think I might be OK to walk around. I want to see if I can sniff out Mommy. I start out with one my nose to ground but I keep checking with my eyes because that doggie was so quiet. I move real slow and then I catch it - a whiff of Mommy!! Oh my glob!!

I move faster but I'm still looking a lot. Mommy's fren Muldo thinks I'm dumb. I heard him call me 'dumb dog' but I am not dumb. I am a smart doggie and I will show him. I will find Mommy. 

Mommy... Mommy... Mommy... 

If I keep saying it in my head maybe I will find her quicker. OH! I hear her. MOMMY!!

I burst out from the grasses and there she is wrapped in a binky. She is all wet - no wonder it took me some time. She is standing next to Muldo - HE is the dumb one. I arf and arf and she spins to look at me. 

"Queequeg!!" Mommy yells bending down. I run so fast I almost fall. It's my Mommy! She picks me up and I gib her all the kissies. She holds me close and she starts to cry. No cry, Mommy - I am here. Be happy!

"Holy shit - maybe you're not such a dumb dog after all." Muldo says and I want to growl at him but I am just so happy to be safe with Mommy that I don't. She gibs me more cuddles and then says "I can't believe it! You're ok." I gib her more kissies. She buries her head in my fur and gives me one last huggie. 

That was a close one! I won't be leaving Mommy's side again!!

SCULLY

I get overwhelmed when I see that little tuft of red hair coming my way. I can't believe it - my little guy is OK. I don't think I realized just how much I love him until now. Tears are welling up in my eyes and I don't even care. I hear Mulder saying something about my "dumb dog" not being so dumb but it fades in the background as I give him more hugs. I think before he entered my life, I didn't realize how much love I had to give - now I have someone to give it to and I need this little ball of floof in my life. 

"You're ok - my little floof." I murmur as I hug him to my chest and begin walking back towards the motel. Mulder trails along behind me muttering more things I don't hear in my still-shocked state.  

I unlock the door to my room and, only then, do I release him to the floor. He proceeds to hop around excitedly at my feet. My smile beams and I bend over to scratch behind his ears. Mulder has followed me into my room and sits down in the chair near the small table. He has stopped talking, probably realizing that I wasn't listening anyway. 

"Want some food, little man? I bet you're starving!" I say as I move to open a bag of kibble. I was still in too much shock to throw anything of his away yesterday. I put down his bowl and smile as he happily stuffs himself on the dry food. 

I sit down on the chair opposite to Mulder and watch Quee eat. 

"Sorry, Scully - I guess I didn't realize how much you loved him." My brows furrow as I look at him. Am I that much of a robot in his eyes? That I couldn't even love my dog? I think he knows how I took it within a second. I watch idly as Quee hops up on the bed across from us. 

"He's my dog. Of course I love him." I say flatly. 

"Hey, Scully, I didn't mean anything by it... I just..." he trails off, looking embarrassed. 

"It's fine." 

"Clearly it's not - I didn't mean you're incapable of love or anything..." Oh, Mulder, shut the fuck up before you get yourself in more trouble. I roll my eyes to the ceiling then close them. "Of course you are capable of love... like with your mom and stuff...." Has his mind left the building? I give him a look that conveys this.

"I just... it makes me think of all the things you must want for your life but don't have because of this job." 

"Mulder, I have Quee *because* of this job, remember?" 

"Yeah... but he's just one step closer to a normal life. You're just missing the husband and 2.5 kids." 

"Mulder, where is this even coming from?" 

"I don't know - our conversation out there on that rock. Am I really the stubborn captain dragging you around on a fruitless quest? I don't want you to miss out on things that could make you happy."

"Mulder. First of all, I wouldn't be here if it didn't make me happy and leave me with a sense of fulfillment. Second, you are not dragging me anywhere. I wouldn't be going with you if I didn't want to be there. I'm not Ishmael or the rest of the doomed crew. I'm my own person and make my own career and life choices." I said, somewhat offended about the way he's making ME into the hapless puppy dog of this situation.

"I didn't mean to imply that you don't have agency here... just that... I want you to be happy," He said, it's his turn to be the puppy dog with the big sad eyes.

"I am happy. I know this job can be hard and challenging but it's one of the reasons I love it so much..." I am trying to convey my truth to him in my eyes. "I was never the kind of little girl who dreamed of her wedding day or had her children's names picked out. I wanted adventure and to make a difference and I'm living that life so I'm happy. I'm happy with... you."

He gives me a shy smile. "Are you with me?"

Shit... this has taken a turn. "I... could be... if that was something we both wanted."

"Is it something you want?" It is just me or has his voice gotten deeper? Also it's gotten about 10 degrees hotter in here. I open my mouth but nothing comes. He saves, and slays, me with his next comment. "I want it."

"You do?" I squeak out. Jesus, is that even my voice? 

"I'm not going to lie and say I haven't been thinking about you and I... for a long time. I never knew what I wanted out of life as a kid. I never knew where life would take me. I certainly didn't expect you." He says with a fond smile quirking his lips. "But maybe that's the best part of life - those things that come out of nowhere and surprise you. All of a sudden, you have everything you didn't know you wanted right in front of you."

"Is that what I am to you?" I can't even believe I got those words out - I'm so shocked. This has been the most bizarre few days. I need to hear him say it - say those words - what he wants,

"Yes - you came out of nowhere and turned my life upside down. I didn't know that I would ever, or could ever, feel this way about someone. So... yes... you're all I want."

"You're all I want, too." I whisper but he must hear it because suddenly his face is right in front of mine. He moved lightning fast from his seat to kneeling in front of mine. His hands are light on my knees as he looks me straight in the eye, asking for my permission. I give a small nod and then we're kissing. I can't believe it. How did this even happen? We're kissing and his hands are in my hair and my arms are linked around his neck.

QUEEQUEG

What is dis?! He looks like he's gibbing her kissies. Only I am allowed to kiss mommy!! I have to put a stop to dis!

I jump off the bed and run at them...

MULDER

I can't believe it. I'm finally kissing Scully and it's perfect... exactly what I thought it would be. I knew we would be so good together...

JESUS!!

QUEEQUEG

I pounce!!

MULDER

Her dog is attacking us! Well... not attacking but he jumped into her lap and is now barking incessantly.

"I knew your dog hated me," I say dejectedly until I look up at her face. There is so much love and joy in those baby blues. We grin at each other and then we're laughing hysterically. This whole thing is ridiculous but I can't believe I finally got to kiss her. I'm actually giddy with it and I don't think I have ever felt this way, at any point, in my life.

“Scully, I don’t think is going to work…” I start and her face drops. “If your dog is going to jump on us every time I kiss you because I plan on doing it a lot.”

Her face lights up. “Oh two men battling for my affections!” She puts on a fake southern drawl that makes me chuckle. “I mean, Queequag does share my bed at night…”

“We’ll see for how much longer…” I lean in and give her a soft, slow kiss until the damn dog jumps up between us again. “Think you can make room for a fox, as well as a hound?”

She groans and rolls her eyes. “That was bad, even for you. But yes, I have plenty of room for both of my boys.” She gently pushes the pup off her lap and places her hands on my cheeks, her nails lightly scratching the 5 o’clock shadow there. She leans in and I meet her halfway for a kiss that somehow feels more intimate than the others before it. “Mulder, you know I love you, right?”

“I hoped, Scully, I hoped you loved me as much as I love you,” I say, touching my forehead to hers. She captures my lips again and I do my best to push the furball back. “So… when we get back… think maybe your mom can watch the hellspawn for a weekend? I really want you all to myself.” 

“Mmm… that is definitely possible.” She makes me happier and happier by the minute. 

THAT WEEKEND…

QUEEQUEG

Mommy is acting weird. Ever since we got back from the swampy place she is jittery… as jittery as me. She is walking around moving our stuff and playing with her hair. It’s really weird.

There is a knock at the door! I love visitors!! 

Mommy lets them in and OH MY GLOB! It’s grandma!! I run toward her and leap into her arms. “Hello, my little fluffy one!” she says and I gib her all my kissies. “You’re coming to stay with me for the day! How about that?”

Sounds great, gram - you gib me lots more treaties than mommy. You say it’s our secret so’s I neber tell her. 

“Dana, don’t you look nice… expecting another visitor after me?” She winks her eye at mommy.

“Mooooom…”

“Just asking, dear!” she says and throw her hand that’s not holding me up. “Just… maybe you could give me some details when you come to get furry man tomorrow.”

“We’ll see…” she said, grabbing my baggie with all my stuffs and handing it to gram. “Thanks again for watching him, mom. I’ll see you both tomorrow.” She kisses gram on the cheek and ruffles my head fur. Then gram and I are off to the place with tons of treats. We pass Muldo  in the hall and after he says ‘hey’ to gram, he ruffles my head fur too. He smells like the woods, not the swamp. I guess he’s ok. I guess I can let mommy keep him.

END.

@xfilesfanficexchange here it is!! I hope it lives up to the expectations of the prompt writer (prompter? Is that even a word?)

[bi-bi-want-dragon]

Meet the Ingermans Chapter 4 Snoggletog and New Traditions

AO3 | FF.net

I have returned!!!  This chapter is a little almost companion-type chapter to "Snoggletog and Mommy's Axe" over in Life After They Left if any of you guys read that. And if not then oh well :) Also if there's anything specific you'd like to see between these two lovebirds, please let me know! I LOVE hearing what you guys are interested in!

Fishlegs bounded into the forge, nearly knocking over the Chief as he tried to stop against his own momentum.  Gobber and Hiccup both flipped their heads around as Fishlegs tried to catch his breath.

“Woah, Fishlegs!  You haven’t been eating those weird mushrooms at the edge of the forest again, have you?” Hiccup asked with a chuckle.

Fishlegs froze and met Hiccup’s eyes, pointing a finger at him.  “Never.  Again.  No!  I have to get Ruffnut’s Snoggletog present finished!  And you’re helping me, remember?”

“How could I forget?” Hiccup replied.  “You haven’t stopped talking about it since Nuffink’s nameday.”

“You know this is important, Hiccup.  I’m still not convinced Ruffnut is okay with all this baby stuff.”  Fishlegs’ glance fell sheepishly to the ground.

Hiccup shared a look with Gobber before walking over to his friend, grasping his shoulders.  When Fishlegs met his eyes, he said, “Fishlegs, this is Ruffnut we’re talking about.  She’s the stubbornest viking in all of New Berk next to my own bride, and definitely the loudest.  If she wasn’t okay with it, you would know.”

Fishlegs huffed but nodded his head in agreement.  “I still won’t feel better until I know it’s ready for tomorrow.  It has to be perfect, so Ruffnut can see without a doubt that this is our new family, and this is right.”

Hiccup nodded with a smile, setting aside a child-sized, intricately designed axe and pulling over the components of Fishlegs’ gift from the nearby shelf.  “Have you decided which one you’re going to design it after?”

Fishlegs smiled.  “Something like that.”

***

“I’ve tried, Astrid, but for the life of me I can’t think of what to give him.”

Ruffnut sat in a chair around the Haddock’s fire pit with Zephyr sitting quietly in her lap, absentmindedly running her fingers through the girl’s soft hair.  The moment Zephyr had seen her aunt, she had ripped her locks out of their signature pigtails, insisting that Ruffnut redo them (much to Astrid’s annoyance).

Astrid chuckled as she attempted to wrangle in a squirming Nuffink.  “You’re giving him a child, Ruff, is anything else really necessary?”

“You and I both know he’s at the forge with Hiccup right now working on something amazing.  And I’ve got yak dung for h-  Zephyr, kid, I told you I don’t know how to braid like your mom does.”  Ruffnut smiled down at the anxious little girl who was now patting Ruffnut’s cheek.

“But how come Momma knows a different way?” Zephyr asked.

“Because she knows the fancy way.  I don’t.”

“But...  But how come Momma knows it and you don’t, Aunt Ruffie?”

“Because she’s married to the Chief,” Ruffnut replied.  Zephyr opened her mouth, but wasn’t able to form her next question.  Her eyebrows pinched together as she tried to puzzle through the nonexistent connection between braiding knowledge and the royal bloodline.

Astrid chuckled again and shook her head before bringing her attention back to Ruffnut.  “Fishlegs is a lot like Hiccup, right?  He’s great at giving thoughtful gifts, but he’s not exactly a material person.  Remember my betrothal gift to Hiccup?”

“You mean the one you never got him?”

“Exactly,” Astrid confirmed.  “And he and I are doing just fine, aren’t we?”  Nuffink cried out in Astrid’s arms, leaning over as if trying to grasp the floor.  “Alright, alright, you little Terrible Terror,” Astrid muttered, setting the boy down onto the floor.  He looked around for a moment as if surprised he earned his freedom before rolling onto his hands and knees and taking off.  Zephyr laughed and hopped down off of Ruffnut’s lap, dashing after her brother.

“Thor almighty, how long has he been doing that?” Ruffnut asked, slightly horrified.

“Oh, he’s been getting better over the last moon or so,” Astrid sighed, shaking her head.  “That one’s going to give us trouble.  I have a bad feeling he’s got too much of Hiccup’s recklessness in him.”

“Then Odin help us all,” Ruffnur muttered as she rolled her eyes.

Astrid snorted.  “Alright, back to your problem.  Why don’t you just cook his favorite meal?  Something simple that he’ll appreciate.”

“You think that’ll be enough?”

“For Fishlegs?  All he cares about right now is that little bundle in your belly and you yourself.  He’s already the happiest man in the world.”

***

Favorite meal...  Favorite meal...  Ruffnut wracked her brain as she kicked through the snow, both freshly fallen since the highest sun today and tightly packed from the last few snowfalls as well.  She knew Fishlegs loved a good rabbit stew, but she wouldn’t call it his favorite meal.

She would make fresh bread tonight, and fresh yak butter as well.  She knew Fishlegs loved certain herbs folded into his butter, which she would add if they still had some from the last harvest.  But what to go with it?

Ruffnut took a slight detour home to stroll through the market, hoping something would spark some inspiration.  The markets were always more scarce in the winter months than in the summer, but that was to be expected from the lack of fresh produce to farm.  She was able to get her hands on some of the heartier produce that tends to store well through the frost, but still no thought as to what to cook with them.

Just as she was about to break down and settle for rabbit stew, a familiar smell reached her nose.  For a moment she was surrounded by the fresh wood of newly built stables and fish-filled buckets.  She could feel cool scales under her hands growing steadily warmer as the rancid smell of Zippleback gas enveloped her, followed by the explosion of embers as fire scorched the air.

“Feeling better, there, Miss Ruffnut?  Glad to see you roaming the markets again.”

Ruffnut opened her eyes to the smiling face of Garvin, taking his place behind the stand before her.  “Yeah, the morning sickness didn’t seem to hit me today...  Hey, how did you manage to get fish?  I thought we ran out already in the stores.”

“Oh, we did a while ago, but I managed to break through a bit ‘o the ice below the docks yesterday.  Caught quite the spread, if I do say so myself.”

“What’d you manage to snag?” Ruffnut asked, setting down her bundle of produce.

“Plenty ‘o catfish, cod, mackerel, a bit ‘o tuna...”  Garvin scratched his beard as he looked curiously at Ruffnut.  “Doesn’t Mr. Fishlegs enjoy pollock?”

Ruff sighed.  “He does, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t able to get any of that.”

Garvin glaced around before kneeling down to retrieve something out of reach.  “Funny enough, I was able to snag two.”  He stood with the fish in question wrapped in his arms.  “They’re a bit smaller than usual, but ‘s better than nothing.  I kept them just for the Ingermans.  A thank you for helping with the boys when my wife was ill.”

Ruffnut wasn’t sure what to say, but she was silently thanking Thor for the perfect meal for her husband that essentially fell into her lap.  “Thank you, Garvin.  You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Carrying her prize home, Ruffnut was suddenly quite excited to surprise her husband with an improved recipe she had been working on for a while now.

***

“Ruffnut, I tried to think of the best way to show you...  No, no.  Our families are blended now, so I just-  Ugh, no!  Stupid!”  Fishlegs tried time and time again to wrap the words together in the perfect explanation of his gift, but the words just wouldn’t flow like the descriptions on his information cards.  He could write decently about tangible things.  Feelings, though...

Maybe he was trying too hard.  Maybe saying a simple “I love you, Ruffnut,” and just handing her the package was the best way to go.  But that seemed so bland, so insignificant considering how important this gift was to him.

His focus was distracted as their hut came into view and a familiar smell wafted his way.  Something that hadn’t touched his imagination in a while suddenly crashed over him like a flood.  He was surrounded by musty rocks and lava, a metallic burning followed quickly followed by the sharp ting of rock forcing a molten material into just one of uncountable potential shapes.  The closer he got to the smell, the more evolved it became.  He picked up on the earthy smell of salt mixing with the cooking flesh of fish.  He chuckled quietly to himself, remembering the night of the twins’ salt-encrusted fish on their island getaway decades ago when the great beasts of the sky still roamed loyally at their sides.  Thankfully, the present smell wasn’t so salt-heavy; it actually smelled quite pleasant.

By the time he opened the door, shaking the snow and chill from his body, the rich scent of fresh bread and cooked vegetables enveloped him in a warmth transcended only by...

“Welcome home, love,” Ruffnut said, wiping her hands on a nearby cloth as she glided over to Fishlegs.  She pressed a kiss to his cheek as she unwrapped the furs from his shoulders.  Throwing the furs on their hook by the door, she eagerly wrapped her arms around him, not caring if she seemed a little desperate for his embrace.  “Happy Snoggletog.”

“Happy Snoggletog, my queen,” he said, his smile giving away his absolute pleasure in an instant.  “Though, you do know that’s tomorrow, right?  Where did you get this fish?  It smells fresh.”

Ruffnut tried to stifle her pride at the delighted glow in her husband’s eyes.  “Well, Garvin managed to snag some in a break in the ice yesterday.  I couldn’t bring myself to let that kind of Snoggletog opportunity slip by.  Especially not when he saved two polluck just for us.”

Fishlegs’ eyes grew wide.  “Pollock?  Really?  That’s hard to snag in the warmer months, let alone the winter.”

Ruffnut shrugged.  “Maybe we have Snoggletog a night early?  While we still have the time to be spontaneous?” she added with a chuckle, patting her stomach.

Fishlegs cradled her cheek in his hand and gently kissed her lips, wrapping his free arm around her back to pull her as close as possible.  “I love you, Ruff.”

She chuckled, cheeks growing warm.  “You’re not too bad, yourself, ‘Legs.”  She kissed him back.  “I love you, too.”

Now it was Fishlegs’ turn to fight the nerves.  He cleared his throat and picked up the forgotten box he had set down on a chair next to him.  “Well, since my gift is obviously this wonderful meal my beautiful wife made - which I am incredibly excited about, might I add - I guess I’ll give you my gift now while it’s still cooking.”  He held out the box gingerly, motioning with his head for Ruffnut to sit down.  When she walked over to the couch only to stop and stare at Fishlegs, he giggled.  He took his seat in the chair, patting his leg before opening up his arm.  Ruffnut easily found her favorite spot, sitting on his leg and leaning against his shoulder, his arm wrapped loosely around her waist and lips pressing occasional kisses to her collarbone.

He set the box in her lap, hiding his smile in her hair.  She carefully untied the strings, painstakingly choosing which corner of the box to open, inching her finger underneath the wood...

Fishlegs laughed.  “For the love of Thor, Ruff, just open it!”

Ruffnut mirrored his laughter, breaking into the box.  “Alright, alright.”  She lifted the lid and froze as the laughter slowly evaporated from her lips.

She lifted the small helmet from the box to inspect it closer.  It was small enough that she knew it wasn’t meant for her, but a child.  Their child.  A thought she only then realized she never had to herself until this moment.  Because the helmet didn’t just boast the horns like Ruffnut’s helmet, nor did it only show off the wings of the Ingermans.  Instead, the Ingerman wings were slightly more exaggerated to better stand out against the outreaching Thorston horns in a perfect balancing act.

When Ruffnut didn’t speak, Fishlegs did his best.  “I didn’t want our child to just have the Ingerman wings.  He or she will still be a Thorston, and I didn’t want them to forget that.  So...  I tried my best to combine the two.  The best combination of Thorston and Ingerman, proudly shown for all to see.  What do you think?”  he sheepishly asked.

Suddenly, Ruffnut was pissed off.  Not at the gift, no.  The gift was perfectly thoughtful and wonderful and more than she could have ever asked for.  She was pissed that she found herself fighting tears.

She angrily wiped them away, setting the helmet and box beside Fishlegs and burying her head on his shoulder.

“Babe?” he asked concerned as he wrapped his arms around her quickly.  “What’s wrong?”

“You made me cry, stupid,” she shot back.

Fishlegs chuckled, rubbing her back.  “You know I’ve always loved that soft side you try to bury,” he gently reminded her.

“Doesn't mean I like it,” she clarified.

He kissed her hair.  “But you like the gift?”

She pulled back to look her husband in the eye.  “I love it.  Of course I do.  I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, brushing a bit of hair from her face.  He let his hand gently fall to wrap his fingers in her’s, lifting them to his lips.  The soft smile that graced Ruffnut’s lips melted Fishlegs’ heart.  She squeezed his hand and pulled their interlocked fingers slowly against her stomach, leaning in to properly kiss his lips.  She felt Fishlegs gently rub her lower stomach with his finger as Ruffnut relaxed into his embrace.

She wanted to savor this moment, but the tightness and burning came back to her throat as she found herself fighting tears again.  She leaned back and laughed at herself as she wiped the tears away.  “Well, um, dinner’s probably ready by now and I’m starving.”

Fishlegs offered an understanding nod.  He knew she still hadn’t matched his comfort level with their impending adventure in parenthood, but he also saw she was getting close.  “Then let’s eat, my love.”

Fishlegs carefully pulled Ruffnut to her feet and followed her to the kitchen to help put together their plates.  Ruffnut took a deep breath and tried to steady herself.  Obviously she had never been void of emotion, but she was still getting used to having her moods so drastically different from one moment to the next by the drop of a helmet - literally.

She was getting there, though.  Somewhere not so deep down, she was ecstatic about their little baby.  And not just because of how happy she knew Fishlegs was.

[worryinglyinnocent]

The Real Housewives of Storybrooke

A ficlet series based on this premise here, following the lives of Storybrooke’s elite wives, with all the scandal, bitching and backstabbing that goes on behind the scenes of high society…

This verse is open for prompts!

====

Previously on the Real Housewives of Storybrooke: Ariel decided to nope on out of Storybrooke with Eric, Regina was determined to stop Belfrey Developments from building in the town, and Mary Margaret made new friends in Rory and Mulan. 

[Part One][Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven] [Part Eight] [AO3]

====

BELLE

“Belle! I swear you look lovelier every time I see you.” Tilly threw her arms around her step-godmother, almost sending her flying with her exuberance. “You’re practically glowing today.”

Belle finally managed to extract herself from Tilly’s embrace, smiling at the enthusiasm that she always showed towards everything in her life. Cameron had gone to fetch her from the Greyhound bus stop at the edge of town earlier in the morning and it was clear that Tilly had not stopped talking for the entire journey back to the house. It was a shame that she lived on the other side of the country; Cameron loved his goddaughter and always seemed to gain a fresh new ease of life when she was around. Not that she’d be around all that much this summer – she and Robyn had made all sorts of plans for the next two weeks, including everything from college applications to environmental protests to an epic water balloon fight in Regina’s back garden.

“Bae!” Tilly squealed and ran over to him as he came into the room, giving him one of her inescapable hugs. “Oh, it feels like I never went away.”

The rest of the morning was taken up with tales of Tilly’s exploits since she had last seen them. It was good to see Tilly so confident in herself; she was becoming an accomplished young woman and her plans for the future were concrete and far-reaching. Not that long ago, she’d not dared to think of a future at all, but now she and Robyn would hopefully be heading off to university in New York once they finished school next year.

After lunch, Tilly went off to meet Robyn and the house suddenly felt very quiet without her. Bae had gone upstairs to cram for his final exam before the summer vacation, and Belle and Cameron were left alone.

“I know she’s a but much, but honestly, I wouldn’t change her for the world,” Cameron said, beginning to clear the plates away.

“I know. Neither would I.” Having Tilly in the house would certainly provide a distraction, and it would be a welcome one, along with the library’s summer reading camp that would start in a week’s time. Belle needed all the distraction that she could get at the moment. She couldn’t help thinking about Tilly’s words from earlier. You’re practically glowing today. Belle had vowed, since her and Cam’s weekend away, that she wasn’t going to do another pregnancy test until she actually skipped a period. She was due on in the next two to three days, and right now, the thought of waiting was agonising. Still, she would prevail, even if she had to distract herself in whatever way she could, up to and including jumping Cam’s bones.

It was possible to want something too much, she knew that, and she’d read enough cautionary literature to know that such deep longing usually ended in disappointment or regret once the object of desire was obtained. She knew that would not be the case for her; she could never regret becoming a mother, it was all she’d ever wanted, no matter what difficulties pregnancy and raising a child might bring. She was prepared for it all. Crazy prepared, some might say, given the amount she’d read on the subject already.

“Mom?” Bae’s voice pulled her out of her daydreams. He was standing in the doorway with a sheaf of papers, looking forlorn. “Would you help me, please? I just can’t get my head around Salinger. I’ve read Catcher in the Rye so many times now that it’s starting to look like gibberish.”

“Of course.”

As they worked through Bae’s myriad notes together, Belle felt a pang of guilt. She should be grateful for what she had; Bae called her Mom after all, and she loved him as fiercely as she would love any child of her own. It was selfish to want more when she had a child here, ready-made for her.

“Bae…”

“Yes?”

“You’re ok if your dad and I have a baby, right?” It was something they’d talked about before, but the old insecurities were creeping back.

“You know I am. I’ve always wanted to be a brother. I’m gonna adopt Neal if you don’t get me a sibling of my own soon.” He must have seen Belle’s crestfallen expression, however quickly she tried to turn it into a smile. “Look, it’s ok. If it happens, then it happens, and if it doesn’t, then… Are you sure you want to be having this conversation with a fourteen-year-old?”

“Well, it’s the only conversation I seem to be having with anyone at the moment and you’re saying exactly the same thing as everyone else, so I think we’re fine.”

“It’s Mrs Potts’ wisdom, it’s rubbing off on me.”

Belle laughed. “Come on, let’s get back to Salinger and see if we can get him in the bag before Tilly and Robyn come back for dinner.”

It was only much later, getting ready for bed, that the topic finally returned to her mind.

“Belle, sweetheart?” Cameron knocked on the bathroom door. “It’s been as silent as the grave in there for a long time. Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” Belle looked in the mirror once more, looking for the tell-tale glow that Tilly had seen so easily. She couldn’t see it herself. She just looked tired and worried. Finally, she left the bathroom, going over to Cam and kissing him fiercely and desperately, wanting to pour her entire heart and soul into it so that she didn’t have to think about anything else.

“What was that in honour of?” he asked once she finally let him up for air. He sounded stunned and aroused in equal measure.

“I just want to show you how much I love you,” Belle said. It was true. She loved him so much that it ached, and even if they never had a baby, she would always have Cameron, something solid and real and present and far away from whatever the imagined future might hold.

“Oh, Belle. I love you too, my darling. Come on, let me love you now and get rid of that little frown.”

He laid her down on the bed, covering her with kisses, and it was exactly what Belle needed. Just as long as she stopped overthinking everything, she would be fine.

X

ARIEL

 It had been good to get away from everything that was happening in Storybrooke. The Flounder had run beautifully all the way down the East Coast, and now they were moored in Florida, enjoying the sunshine, categorically not thinking about work or home. Ariel could tell that she was much less stressed already, because she was actually entertaining the notion of going home at some point. When they had first left, Ariel would have been quite happy if she’d never seen Maine again. Well, she would have missed her friends, but other than that she could leave it all behind.

Eric came along the quay holding out an ice-cream for her.

“You know, this reminds me of when we first started dating,” he said. “We were always out on the water. Either swimming or sailing. Or capsizing in a rowboat, that was a memorable occasion.”

“Eels,” Ariel muttered darkly, taking a large mouthful of ice-cream. “I’m telling you. It was eels.”

Eric just chuckled, evidently not convinced, and they both fell to reminiscing about their early relationship. They’d been so young then. Still barely more than kids really. They’d come through so much together that it was astonishing to think of.

The idea of kids brought Ariel’s mind back to Belle. She hoped that they’d finally succeeded. It was strange; Ariel couldn’t imagine wanting a baby as desperately as Belle did. Neither she nor Eric had ever had any desire to have children, content to remain the dynamic duo that they’d been for so long, but she knew that motherhood had been Belle’s dream for as long as she could remember.

For a moment, Ariel felt a little guilty at having left Belle in the lurch; she’d always acted as her friend’s protector in their social circle and now she was gone for the foreseeable future, but Belle had firmly told her in no uncertain terms that she could hold her own for a little while and it would do Ariel no good to spend all her time worrying about other people when she could be, and ought to be, taking care of herself.

She felt in her pocket for her phone. She’d allowed herself one check of social media each day, just to make sure that nothing catastrophic had happened in their absence that they’d be unprepared for on their return – or be forewarned about to stay away longer until it had blown over.

She hadn’t had today’s fix yet, and she opened up Facebook. Tilly had arrived in Storybrooke and was posting selfies with Robyn and Bae left, right and centre. Bae and Emma had finally finished their exams and begun their summer in earnest. Regina had officially launched the petition to stop Belfrey Developments getting a foothold in the town. Belfrey Developments had issued a press release stating how excited they were to be starting building in Storybrooke. Zelena was enthusing about her latest spinach tea diet, which sounded disgusting but apparently worked wonders on cellulite. Local handyman Leroy had found a cat stuck in a pipe and now his wife Astrid was begging him to keep it.

It was all business as usual, and for a brief moment, Ariel missed the mundane aspects of Storybrooke life. If only she could have the mundane without all the drama.

She accepted Regina’s invitation to join her new ‘save Storybrooke’s green spaces’ group and put her phone away, not to be touched until tomorrow.

Well, that was the intention at least, until Mary Margaret called her five minutes later.

“Hi Mary. What’s up?”

“Hi Ariel. I know you’re on holiday and don’t want to think about work and stuff right now, but I’ve had an idea, and I want to run it past someone who isn’t David and doesn’t have baby brain. I swear I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached these days.”

“Ok, ok, slow down, Mary. What’s the idea?”

“I think I’ve got a way to keep Belfrey out of Storybrooke.”

[jesussavedevenme]

Never Underestimate Family

This is based off my own headcanon that Kendra and Seth have an older brother that joined the army shortly after finding the magic world. He was 13 years older than Kendra and 15 years older than Seth. So enjoy my headcanon and fluff ( I love fluff!) . This is WAY after dragonwatch Chapter 3 Never underestimate  ffamily October was a hard month for Kendra Sorenson. I mean sure Halloween was fun, but it was also the month her brother left. Kendra's brother Jason Sorenson had been 13 when she was born. She was 5 when he was deployed in the army. To say they had been close was an understatement. Kendra remembered days of running to him when he got home. Her mom would say she would go to him more then she would them. He had written  at first,but the letters became fewer and fewer, until they just stopped. Kendra wished upon wished that she could talk to him again and know that he was okay. Now at 22 years old Kendra missed him more than ever. There was a special day approaching, something she wanted him to be there for. At the end of this month Kendra would be getting married. Bracken had asked to date her on her 18th birthday. After almost losing her to  fatal wounds( if you want a one shot on this let me know.) he had decided that he didn't want to waste any more time. They had dated for 4 years and 2 months ago he had asked her to marry him ( again if you want the details you have to tell me.) As a.result of the magic it took.to heal her wounds, Kendra was now closer to a unicorn than a mortal. She looked 18, her long Brown hair was now mostly blond, ears slightly pointed, and had eyes that changed with her mood. She sat now in one of the many gazebos.around the pond. Where she always went to think. Thinking now at where her brother could be. would he look the same? Would he still devour all food in sight? Her parents had long since come.to the conclusion that he had died, and Kendra sometimes wondered if they where right. She had to face the fact that he most likely wouldn't be here. Letting the only one tear escape her, she stood up and began the trek back to the main house.                                                                           ††††   Seth, despite popular beliefs , was not oblivious to his sister's recent change in demeanor. The switch from happy to upset. He also was not ignorant as to what caused it.(though he did hunt down a certain unicorn amd.grill him). After a while he had enough, he didn't remember Jason seeing as he was only 3 when he left. So Seth devised a plan, a perfect one. A fool proof one. Which was why he was standing in the atic. Since he was 20 he has moved into a room.downstairs, making this a perfect hiding place. Seth was tall and slim and had a light scar right under his left cheek bone. He was muscular, and his shadow charming abilities increased his strength. And with a deep voice to accompany this, he could be pretty intimidating. But if you looked into chocolate colored eyes ,you could see the playful mischievous gleam. His hair still Brown and unruly.Seth stood in the far corner holding a communication coin and talking to the Unicorn. " You just do your part, and I'll do mine ok? "Seth said Are you sure this is going to work seth? He may not come with you. " Oh he will come, if I have to drag him here, just send the fairies. " Have you told you grandfather about this plan. " what do you think? Look just find him first , then I'll talk to grandpa. Look i hear Kenzy, so I am going to go" Seth quickly dropped the connection before Bracken could ask any more questions about his grandfather knowledge. He was 20 he could accomplish this himself. He just hoped the fairies could find Jason in 2 weeks.                                                                                   †††† Jason Sorenson walked around the army base. He was 35 years old and has sandy hair and chocolate eyes. He had left home at 18 and hadn't been back since. It was funny the reason he couldn't go back was the reason for all this mess any way. The reason why he left has a bit of a back story, he had found the magic world at 15, which is a different story entirely, when his mom had his brother. His grandfather had told him that his parents didn't know about the magic world. Jason wanted to explore it. When is parents took him back he found that all he could focus on was finding out more. His grades fell and he was distant with his friends. He could focus on nothing but the future. Suddenly he looked up and found his straight A's where now mostly C's. His friends had moved on, his sister was in kindergarten and he had a little brother. He suddenly didn't know what to do with his life. Pride and fear kept him from going to his parents. How could he explain it anyway? ' hey mom, dad my grades are awful and I don't know what to do with my life anymore. But here's the reasons I found the magic world and have had an obsession with it, so help please?'  Definitely not. So he had joined the army and resolved to forget the magic world existed. And now, pride and fear where what was keeping him away from home. How would he face his parents and his sister. Kendra. If there was something he regretted most it was missing out on Kendra's life. They had been so close until he had let other things consume him. He heard a gasp not far away and pulled himself back to the present. He quickly found what had caused the reaction. A group of brightly colored butterflies where flying through the base. He knew these couldn't be normal butterflies. He might not have any assistance but this was not a normal occurrence. His suspicion was confirmed when the butterflies fluttered around him before flying off. Who would send fairies after him? And why? The commotion was settling down so Jason decided to act normal. It was probably nothing.E                                                                                                                                                                         †††† Bracken walking through the halls of the fairy castle to meet his father for lunch. His father had been ecstatic when he had awoken to find out his son was engaged. Though at first he want to thrilled that it was a handmaiden. Bracken had brought Kendra to the fairy realm to meet him and he had instantly  fallen for her. He saw her as his daughter already. They where meeting today to finalize things and just talk. The wedding was in 3 days so the pressure to make sure everything was ready was truly on. Despite this Bracken made sure to talk to Kendra in some way , form, or fashion, every night. Just thinking of his beautiful fiancee brought a smile to his face. Beautiful smile, bright ,sparkling green eyes. Bracken was pulled from his thoughts by the fact that a group of  fairies came rushing up to him. Immediately fearing the worst his hand drifted to the hilt of his sword. The leader of the group, an elegant fairy with electric blue hair and a pink dress that slowly faded to white, said " Your Highness, we have found the man you requested. Jason Sorenson is on an army base in Chattanooga Tennessee North America. " Bracken relaxed and said thank you be before reaching out to Seth using the communication coin. He wasn't too worried about telling him now though because he would be eating dinner there, as he usually did. Rushing off to meet his dad Bracken couldn't help but wonder what Seth Sorenson had planned this time.                                                                                †††† Seth was restless all through dinner. Not that this was new, ADHD does.that, but especially tonight. Bracken had said that he had found some information and would tell him in private.after.dinner. It was for this reason that Seth was shadewalking just outside the house as the unicorn told his sister goodnight. He smiled.a little.They where good together, not that he'd ever admit that. As much as he hated the mushy , gushy stuff, Bracken made Kendra happy and that was good enough for him.  Again not that he would ever admit this to anyone. His wondering thoughts where interrupted by the door of the house closing indicating that his.sister had gone inside. Stepping out of the shadows he approached Bracken. "So, what do you got for me?" Seth asked running his hands together. " They found him on an army base in Chattanooga Tennessee. " " Awesome! Now the problem is finding a way to get.there. Without Kendra getting suspicious. " " Who knows about this?" "Vanessa and Warren. They are going to keep her busy so she has less time to think about it. " " What about -" " I wanted it to be a surprise for the others as much as Kendra. " "Alright then." They both fell silent thinking about excuses and ways of transportation . Suddenly Brackens face lot up. "We can use Astrids to get there. As for excuses that's more your area of expertise." He said. Ending with a hint at Seth's mischievous nature and knack for coming up with clever excuses. And I'm fact after.a.minute more of thinking Seth came.up with one. " I've got it! So we use the Astids. You come in and act worried. Find me and we'll kind of speak in private for a.minute. The story will be there that you have gotten word of an assassin and need the help of an shadow charmer to save the day. Being the overprotective person you are when Kendra inevitably tries to come along as backup, you tell her no. Do the gushy stuff you do , telling her you love her and don't want her hurt or whatever. Then Warren and Vanessa step in and take her to do whatever there doing. We go get Jason, bring him back, and surprise Kendra. " Seth says taking a breath. He looks expectantly at the unicorn. For a moment all Bracken does is stare are him, then he drops his head into one of his hands  and shakes his head. Seth is confused , going back over the plan he doesn't see where he missed anything. He's about to voice this when Bracken looks up at him with a smile.on his face. " You 're not right" he says jokingly. " Dude , you've known me for 7 years and your just now figuring that out? Are you in or not. " Seth asked. Quiet proud of his plan . He got to both scare and surprise his older sister! " I'm in. " Bracken said. Seth did an evil laugh and said " Welcome to the dark side my friend, we've been expecting you. " Bracken once again stated at Seth for a moment before shaking his head turning his head and walking back into the woods.                                                                               †††† Bracken walked into the yard three Astids  trailing behind him. He stopped for a moment trying to make himself seem extremely worried. He was a really good actor when he wanted to be. His biggest challenge would be not breaking when he sees Kendra worried. he hated it when she worried about stuff.  He started to Sprint into the main house trying to seem urgent. He almost ran into Kendra. He decided to go.ahead and start putting this plan, that Seth's twisted little mind had came up with, into action. " Hey Bracken! " said Kendra  happily smiling her shining smile. Braden grabs her shoulders and looks her up and down worried as if searching for injuries. He feels a pang of guilt as her bright smile fades into a worried expression. Still, remembering the outcome , he continues. " Are you ok? Your not hurt anything? " he ask trying to sound almost.frantic. " No why? " she said breathing quickening slightly as she looks fearfully at the woods. Bracken immediately enveloped her in a quick hug before pulling back and saying, " No , it's ok ,I'm not running from anything. " " what's going on? " she asked sounding  beyond worried. Keeping himself steady in his role he tried to look indecisive  before replying, " Where's Seth? " "Bracken why won't you answer my question? What's going on?" Bracken placed a kiss on Kendra's forehead. When he pulled back his resolve almost broke at the sight of Kendra's eyes brimmed with frightened tears. " I'll explain later, love. Right now I need to talk to Seth, is he inside? " Bracken said gently already knowing the answer. She nodded and he quickly rushed into the house, determined that this was the last time he was.helping Seth with any of his plans.                                                                           †††† Seth watched in shock at how good Bracken was at convincing Kendra he was worried. He began his own role as the unicorn entered the house. Pretending he knew nothing about this, he let a smile fade as he walked toward him worried. " Hey man, what's up? What's this all about. " " Seth! Just the person I was looking for ! Can we talk in private? " Bracken asked continuing the skit. " Yah of course come on. " " Bracken what is this all about?" Grandpa Sorensen asked entering the room.at the commotion. " I'll explain later. " He said in the same time he had used with Kendra. Seth ducked into one of the many guest bedrooms in the house and heard Bracken close the door behind him. " Dude! That was awesome , everyone is genuinely worried! " Seth praised. His smile fades when he found the unicorn glaring at him. " what? " " This is the last time I am doing anything like this. " He said. " Oh, is this about Kens being worried? Don't think about it. She'll drop it once Warren and Vanessa start. " Seth answered rolling his eyes. Bracken didn't look convinced ,but he did drop the subject. After going over the plan and waiting a few more minutes, they left the room both looking grim and concerned. All of the family had gathered in the living room, as Seth had knew they would. They all have them there attention and waited for someone to explain what was going on. They had previously decided that it should be Bracken that explained since he came looking for Seth. " I caught word of an assassin, he is headed this way, I need Seth to help me take him down. The fairies have tracked him to Chattanooga Tennessee. " Bracken said grimly. " The plan is to go and stop him before he can get here. If everything goes well we should be back by tonight. " Seth finished. " Who are they after? " Grandpa Sorensen asked fearing the answer. " Kendra. " Bracken said. " the reason I only want me and Seth is for this a smaller team will be better. Along with the fact that his power as a shadow charmer could come in handy. " After several more questions the group finally dispersed. Seth was standing by one of the Astrids while Bracken said goodbye to Kendra for like the thousandth time,in his opinion anyway. Seth thought the unicorn was laying it on kind of thick , seeing as they weren't actually going to be in danger. Finally Kendra went in side and the Astrids took off. Seth could hardly contain his excitement now. His plan was working perfectly, he was going to see his brother, and surprise his sister.                                                                  †††† Jason was sitting on his bunk resting when a one of the commanders came in looking for him. The man was named Mark. Mark was about 40 years old, he was short but muscular. His hair was black but streaked with grey. " Sorenson, there's a man here to see you, says he's a family friend. " Mark said in his deep, rough voice. Jason thought for a moment, he didn't know who it was but if he had to guess it would be the one who sent the fairies after him.  Jason nodded to the commander and walked out of the room , heading toward the main offices. When he got there he was directed to a room with a closed door. Outside standing not far was a tall slim man, with silvery hair and a muscular build.  Thinking this was his visitor he walked to him. When Jason for closer the man gestured to the door indicating that he enter the room. Jason was getting suspicious and was glad he always had a knife in him.  Once he entered the silver haired man shut the door behind him. Startled Jason turned toward the door. Missing the fact that he wasn't alone. Jason " Long time no see , Jason. " said a deep voice. Jason turned around quickly reaching for his knife. For the first time he noticed a tall ,slim,muscular man with dark hair. His muscles made him look as if he lifted weights for a living. He was a head taller that Jason and looking up into dark eyes made the man even scarier. Jason quickly composed himself and said, " I'm sorry, you'll have to tell me your name. I'm afraid I don't know you. " the man smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. " I didn't think you'd recognize me. I look quite a bit different than I did when I was 3. " when Jason showed no reaction the man sighed and continued, " the name 's Seth. Sent Sorenson. " Jason's eyes widened at the name. This man was his 3 year old brother. Looking into the chocolate eyes , he could now see the mischievous glint in them. " Seth?! No way! What are you doing here?  You look so grown up and ... Intimidating " he said incredulously. Seth laughed. " Yah I have been  told that a few times. As for the reason I'm here, I'm here to take you home. Jason frowned, he couldn't go home. But how was he going to break that to his, not so little, little brother. Who had obviously spend some time looking for him. " Look, buddy. I appreciate you coming by, but I am afraid your wasting your time. I'm not coming home. " Jason said gently. He gulped as Seth's expression became darker. " I don't think you understand Jason , you are coming home, whether you come willingly or i have to drag you. " Jason began to protest but Seth continued " and believe me I can do it, being known as one of the protectors and hero's of the magic world is not the easiest job. " " What?! " Jason said shocked. Not only did his brother know about magic but he was the protector and hero of it. A question rose to mind as he asked. " wait one of them, whose the other? " he watched Seth smirk and reply simply, "Kendra." " Both of you know about the magic world? " Jason asked excited . This was amazing! He didn't have to keep it to himself anymore.  Seth smiled even wider " Yep, mom and dad do too. " " I can't believe this. This is amazing! But why come and find me now? And who was that man with the silver hair outside? " " Both of those questions go hand in hand. The man out there, his name is Bracken. He is Kendra's fiancee. " Seth paused and chuckled at Jason's shocked expression before continuing" as for why now ,well, She gets married tomorrow and all she wants is for you to be there. " " Kendra is what?! " "Getting married tomorrow. Now are you. Coming willingly or not, we need to get going soon, so we can get home before dinner." Jason nodded still processing the information . He followed Seth out and stopped beside the man that was apparently marrying his sister in a matter of hours. He heard Seth tell them to go on , while he found the head of office.  He looked at the man, Seth called Bracken, for the first time. He was shocked at the blue orbs and instantly knew he wasn't human. Realizing he was staring he said " So, your the man marrying my sister. " " Yah, she's amazing, I can't imagine loving anyone in this earth more than her. " Bracken answered. He seemed genuine. They  continued to talk as they reached the edge of the base. Jason was in shock by the time Seth found them. Not only was he talking to unicorn, but the Prince of the fairy realm. His siblings where fairykinds and shadow charmers , demon slayers, Dragon tamers, and just all around awesome. He was amazed when he met the Astrids. As they neared home, he realized that they would have accepted him a long time ago. It was time to make things right.                                                                      †††† As worried as Kendra had been that morning, she had little time to think about it the rest of the day. Warren and Vanessa had kept her extremely busy. They started no going after the boys left by helping arrange the flowers. As boring as that sounds, the fairies made it quite interesting. Changing , color, shape, and size with a command. Then they had left Fablehaven and went to pick up supplies for the brownies to make the desserts. They had lunch then came back to Fablehaven. Bradley's sister Petunia had come and brought all the dresses for the bridesmaids, the suits for the groomsmen , and  Kendra's dress. She had just finished trying it on and letting  Petunia adjust it when , the boys returned. The first thing she did was get up from the couch and run and hug her fiancee. He squeezed her tightly before pulling back and kissing her forehead. the others gathered to welcome them name as well. She then turned to her brother and hugged him before he could make any smart comments. He hugged her back , then pulled away. Kendra noticed that Seth was standing, kind of awkwardly ,in front of the door. Stepping back she looked curiously at him before asking " How'd it go? Did you get the assassin? " she was confused when Bracken looked away and Seth smirked. " About that sis,  the assassin thing was kind of a story to keep you out of suspicion for the day. "Kendra was shocked. It was a what?! A story! Seth most of noticed her confused and somewhat angry look because he continued quickly. " Before you say anything, before anybody jumps all over me, Kendra close your eyes. " " What? Why? " " Just do it. " " Why? " " So I can show you why we had to tell a story like that. " Seth said impatiently. Kendra sighed and did as she was told. She heard someone enter the house and a bunch of her family gasp. Resisting the urge to open her eyes, Kendra moved her head towards the sound. Soon she heard a voice she wasn't to ever hear again. " Kendra, Jason says open your eyes. " her eyes flew open at the name of her brother replaced with the regular Simon says. She stood in shock for a moment taking in his sandy hair and chocolate eyes. His slim strong build . The person she had wanted to see for the longest ti me was standing right in front of me.                                                               †††† Jason  watched as Kendra 's eyes flew open at the mention of there old game. A flash of worry went through his mind as she stood in shock. But it was quickly vanquished. "Jason!" Kendra yelled running at him. He stumbled slightly as her small body hit him full force. He wrapped his arms around her tightly relishing the feeling of being with his sister again. He felt his shirt become wet with her tears. He tried to pull back to look at her but Kendra held to him tightly.Jason laughed " You're not letting me go are you? " he felt her shake her head and he once again wrapped his arms around her. This time he was hugged by his mom and dad as well. After a few minutes more they all pulled back he watched as Kendra walked over to Seth and hugged him, whispering in his ear. She turned to  Bracken and did the same thing. Jason was happier than he had ever been. He realized he should've come home long ago. He should have never underestimate family                                                                 †††† There we go chapter 3!!! I'm sorry for the wait so here's a loooooong chapter for you. Please review and suggest things for future chapters. I am already working on one that was suggested, but would love more!!!

[nightingaletrash]

📖 for an OC of your choice? :0

Tysm :D I’ll do this for Venaya ^^ under the cut cuz oops it got kinda long o.o

[The journal looks old, but well looked after. The binding is made from guar-leather, and a heavy lock emblazoned with the shape of a bird cradling an orb keeps it firmly shut from prying eyes. The pages are generally pristine, some a little yellowed with age, but otherwise intact. The writing is neatly uniform, written by a practised, educated hand.]

28th Sun’s Height 216

Mother and Father spend the morning arguing, as has become their usual, so I spent the day with Uncle Melar rather than attending my lessons with Mother. She’ll be so busy being furious with Father, I imagine she won’t even remember. And if she does remember, Melar will surely speak on my behalf.

Things have definitely been much more tense as of late. Staying in the house is becoming unbearable. Father accuses Mother of being more interested in Redoran politics than her own family, Mother accuses him of apathy that weakens our House. It’s hard not to take sides. 

I hardly see Mother unless I visit her at her office, and even then she refuses to speak of anything but House affairs. Sometimes it feels like I’m less of a child to her and more of an investment for our future. The son who will set House Redoran on it’s ear, or at least that’s what she envisions for me. And I worry about Father’s habits lately. He disappears into the town for hours at a time and comes home with the strangest smells on his person. And it’s not matze. I’m worried he’s turning to skooma due to the stress of constantly fighting against Mother.

Perhaps I should have said something to Uncle Melar. I’ve always been able to speak to him about a great many things, and he is one of the few who I can speak to openly without fear of judgement or reprimand.But Mother and Father are both very proud. I doubt they’d be happy if I asked Melar to insert himself into our family’s affairs, and it might end up doing more harm than good.

I’ll speak with Father tomorrow. Perhaps being able to talk to me will ease his burden and make skooma a less tempting option.

5th Last Seed 2E 216

It finally happened. The fight to end all fights. Father is leaving tomorrow morning and is already packing his things... And so am I. My Father may not be ideal, but at least he has not divorced himself so entirely from his family that House Redoran is all he has left. I’m still concerned about his forming habits - I can see he is trying since we talked - but I won’t stay in Suran. Not whilst she is here.

After Father announced his intentions, Mother swiftly turned to me - for the first time in months - and demanded to know if I also intended to sully our family name. It was oddly satisfying to inform her that she was the one who destroyed the name Serethi, and even more so to see the look on her face. I’d not seen her so thunderstruck since I copied that argonian phrase as a child. Only this time was not met with a swift reprimand. Instead it was met by silence followed by the slamming of the door as she returned to her office.

May she find it as empty as the Void.

We depart for Sadrith Mora in the morning. Perhaps under the guidance of Ayem we will be able to lay the foundations of our new beginning.

[The later entries are markedly different from the earlier, the handwriting a little less uniform with increasing mentions of the author’s struggles with her father’s growing skooma habit. The pages are occasionally blotted with tear stains, and the next entry is undated and written in a shaky, almost indecipherable hand with smears of what appear to be blood.]

The Cammona Tong finally ran out of patience for Father. They jumped just along the coast and shoved me into the back of their caravan. To teach him a lesson, they said. I’ve never been so scared in my life. 

The smell of sulfur is almost overwhelming, even though it’s been nearly two weeks. My skin won’t stop bleeding. I can barely see what I’m writing. Even the smallest amount of sunlight makes my eyes hurt more than I can say.

Father is distraught. Every moment he’s at my side, he’s either in tears or on the verge of them, unable to process what the Tong did to me for his mistakes. He’s sworn off the damned skooma, at least. Promised he’ll work hard to repay his debts to the Tong and to every damned dealer he owes money. It won’t heal me, no amount of magic has, but it’ll make up for what I’ve been through on his behalf. Or at least I hope it will. I didn’t much like what I saw in the mirror already. This isn’t an improvement.

[The next entry is barely anymore readable than the last, but is free of blood smears at the very least.]

3rd Midyear 2E 218

It’s been over a month since I left Sadrith Mora. Since I found that damned s’wit and his fucking pipe. He promised me there would be no more skooma after what the Tong did to me. Well, it’s good to know that I’m as valuable as guar shit to him. Saves me a lot of time trying to justify his habits anymore.

I just can’t believe I wrote to Mother of all people. I can imagine she was practically cackling to herself in glee when she got my letter. She’ll be full of ‘I told you so’s’ and will be all too happy to remind me that duty to House Redoran is above all else. 

Well, we’ll see how long that lasts. I just need a place to stay a while and make some coin before leaving for the mainland. I’ve had enough of Vvardenfell. It’s brought me nothing but misery. The further I am from here, the happier I’ll be.

15th Midyear 2E 218

I’ve had a change of plans, and I couldn’t be happier for it. During my journey to Suran, I met the most fascinating nord, a young woman calling herself Astrid. She was struggling to dispatch a few cliff striders that had attacked her camp and I stepped in to help. What magic I learned from the Telvanni has evidently been worth the effort.Astrid was very grateful to me and offered me a place in her camp for the night. It’s preferable to curling up beneath a rock and praying to the Three that nothing gnaws my legs off in the night, so I accepted. 

We sat at the fireside, talking as we ate fresh kwama eggs, and something about her made me want to tell her everything. Perhaps it was magic, now with what I know about her, or maybe it was just being so tired of having no one to turn to since leaving Suran, but I told her anyway. About my struggles with being the son my parents had dreamed of, with their constant arguing and the way their marriage fell apart, my father’s struggles with skooma, and how he carried on with the stuff even after the Cammona Tong’s warnings.

It felt very much like talking to Uncle Melar because rather than interject her own opinions like so many people do, she simply sat and listened and only spoke when I was finished. She asked me my name, and when I told her it was Venaryn, she laughed and said ‘no silly, I mean the name you want to be called.’ So I told her I wanted to be called Venaya. She then asked if I truly wanted to returned to Suran and my mother. I told her no, that I didn’t want anything to do with the place, and she made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

Astrid is a cultist, a member of a cell of Nocturnal worshippers, and she offered to bring me to them. I asked, jokingly but also a little seriously, if she intended to sacrifice me. But she held my hand and, with the utmost sincerity, told me that she wished to repay me for stepping in to save her life by stepping in to save mine.

We’re headed for the coast, and from there we depart for Skyrim. I can’t say for certain if this cult is a wise choice, but wisdom hasn’t exactly done me many favours. At the very least, it couldn’t be any worse than returning to my mother.

[The following entry has returned to being readable - not crisply uniform and formal, but readable and relaxed. The pages as clean, save for a few pressings of wild flowers between the pages and a few (relatively poor) sketches have begun to appear between entries as well.]

28th Sun’s Height 2E 218

It’s hard to believe that just two years ago I was listening to my parents arguing over every little thing. The Twilight Sepulcher is practically a paradise in comparison. Here I study and pray in quiet contemplation, sometimes carrying out tasks for the Night Mistress. My transition continues, and whilst there have been bumps in the road, I am never without the support of my brothers and sisters. Astrid celebrates every milestone I reach with more exuberance than anyone else. Sometimes I think she’s happier than I am with my progress. 

Even now I can’t imagine what my life would be if I’d gone through with that stupid idea to return to Suran. I can only imagine my mother wondering why she never heard from me again. Undoubtedly she was bragging to her colleagues about the return of her wonderful son, only to be humiliated by my non-appearance. I honestly wish I could say it was planned, but part of me hopes it was part of Nocturnal’s plan for me. Some small measured vengeance for the woman who tore that family apart.

As for my father, I don’t know if he’s even alive. Every time I’m tempted to find out, Astrid and the others remind me of what he did to me, and I remind myself that that part of my life is over and the temptation passes. I have a life here. A family. I’m happy, for the first time. Venaryn Serethi is a chapter long since closed. I am Venaya Sero, 

and I won’t let the past take that from me.

[awed-frog]

I only just learned that Christine Nöstlinger died last week. It’s the kind of news that leaves you both sad and slightly incredulous, because even as an adult, it’s hard to see someone like Nöstlinger as a real person. To me, she’ll always be a funny, exotic name on the cover of a book - she was one of my favourite writers when I was a young child, and I don’t think it ever occurred to me that those people - people like Roald Dahl, Astrid Lindgren, Bianca Pitzorno or Michael Ende - actually existed in the real world, and did things as mundane as wear pajamas or brush their teeth. In fact, as I was scrolling through a couple of obituaries today, I was surprised to learn Nöstlinger was Austrian, not Swedish (her books were side by side with Lindgren’s on my shelf) and that if her stories were always delightfully subversive, it’s probably because she grew up in Nazi Austria and experienced that reality first-hand. And while I do understand this is a thing that happens - that people have lives, that they must be born somewhere and do stuff and exist in actual reality - as I read of her death I became a child of eight again; what I found myself mourning was that name on my bookshelf - nothing more. I am slightly ashamed of that, of knowing nothing about this person who brought me so much joy, because over the last few years, I’ve gotten to know some YA writers and I now have a new appreciation of how hard they work and how determined they are to make a difference - not only to make children happy, that is, but also to teach them how to think for themselves, to help them engage with the world around them with full awareness. And so, to honour Christine Nöstlinger and her work, I decided to translate a speech she gave to the Austrian Parliament for the 70th anniversary of the liberation of Mauthausen. I couldn’t find an English version of it, and I think it deserves to be more widely read - especially today.

“I was almost two when the Mauthausen concentration camp was opened, and as the last survivors were freed by American troops, I turned eight. For this reason, you could think this is not a subject I remember hearing about or discussing. 

But I do.

I didn’t know the word Mauthausen, but I was certainly familiar with the expression ‘concentration camp’. I would hear it again and again as my grandma grumbled about the Nazis with the dairywoman or at the grocer’s. That’s when someone would whisper in warning: ‘You’ll get in trouble!’, they’d say; or: ‘You keep talking like that, you’ll end up in a concentration camp!’.

One memory is particularly clear and vivid in my mind: my uncle, my mom’s kid brother, is visiting us. He stands in his SS uniform, tall and broad, very close to my mother, and says: ‘Ella, the Jews are all going to pass through the chimney!’. And my mother, who was much shorter than he was, went red with rage and slapped him across the face. I think that was the first and only time my normally placid mother ever hit someone.

Obviously, I didn’t understand what ‘pass through the chimney’ meant, but I could guess it was something really bad. And that was the day I understood that Mr Fischl had passed through the chimney. 

Mr Fischl was a shoemaker, and he’d had a shop in our alley. He’d resole shoes, repair heels and fix the toe caps so that those who couldn’t afford it wouldn’t have to buy new shoes for their growing children. In 1938, shortly after the Anschluss, my mother witnessed a chilling scene as she was coming home from work: a group of SA soldiers had dragged Mr Fischl out of his shop and they were now forcing him to scrub clean the three white arrows some regime opponents had painted on the wall. A truck was parked in the street, full of grinning SA men. Mr Fischl, on his knees, was surrounded by his amused neighbours. My mother, with a heavy heart, moved to the other side of the street and walked on; she later heard Mr Fischl had been taken away that very day. Soon after those events, an ‘Aryan’ shoemaker took over both Mr Fischl’s shop and his apartment. Nobody ever mentioned Mr Fischl again - nobody, that is, except my mother. Again and again, she’d tell my sister and me what had happened to him. She always felt guilty she hadn’t done anything to stop it, and would always justify that choice to herself by saying: ‘If I hadn’t had children waiting for me at home, I would have gone there and sent those thugs packing!’. 

I was a child then, and when you’re a child you need to see your mother as someone who’s big and strong and powerful - especially if your father has been away in Russia for a long time. I hadn’t known then that adults sometimes lie to themselves. For this reason, I was thoroughly convinced that my mother would indeed have saved Mr Fischl if I had never been born. ‘Where did they take Mr Fischl?’ I asked once, and when my mother answered bluntly ‘To a concentration camp.’, I came to believe his death had been my fault.

This irrational sense of guilt started to fade away when I finally noticed that my mother was neither strong nor powerful: she was small and helpless, and definitely not capable of sending anyone packing.

But not being guilty is not the same as not being responsible. Many people have fully accepted this, and have done their best to bear witness for future generations - they’ve tried to explain where racism once led us; they’ve stood up and spoke out whenever the mood was souring against a minority group. 

Now, that’s not an easy thing to do, and many others were simply too uncomfortable to even try. Instead, those people interfered with this effort to remember, pretended they hadn’t known what was going on, complained about what they themselves had lost in the war, and basked in the self-serving idea of a ‘new beginning’. In order to expedite this ‘new beginning’, our post-war governments were not particularly keen to prosecute those who’d been implicated in Nazi crimes. To be perfectly blunt, those people were simply too many to be locked away. Without them, there would have been no possibility to establish a functioning state. Where on Earth would we have found a sufficient number of teachers and civil servants with a perfectly clean slate soon after the end of the war?

Meanwhile, the efforts to welcome back home those Jews and political opponents who’d managed to flee abroad were lukewarm at best. And there was no question of even discussing how to better integrate the Roma and Sinti communities - or, those among them who’d survived. For all of those reasons, my generation and my children’s generation have grown up in a country in which racism, far from being a bad memory, was instead an ongoing, deep-seated conviction passed down from father to son and from mother to daughter.

And today, not much has changed for the better. The only difference is that racism now presents itself under a different guise. Nobody dares to use (and few to even think) words like ‘master race’, ‘subhuman’, ‘Rassenschande’ and ‘final solution’. There is a strong taboo around them.

No, our current form of racism simply rejects all that is foreign. It sees native people as being threatened by an unsustainable wave of immigration; it insists that foreigners have it easy, and what it means by that is: ‘Those people want to live off us, they want to take something away from us!’.

Those who think these things, those who say them openly when they know others will agree, well - they won’t write racist slogans on the walls, won’t vandalize Jewish tombs, won’t insult a veiled woman, won’t beat up black people or set fire to refugee centres. On the other hand, what they do is giving confidence and justification to the people who actually do all these things; the certainty that they’re acting in everybody’s best interest. They are the fertile ground upon which violence grows. 

And the number of minorities against whom people ‘have something’ (in the best case) or ‘do something’ (in the worst) is already increasing. To the traditional victims of disapproval and aggression, today we can add asylum seekers and economic refugees (no matter where they come from); also people with a migration background (no matter whether they’re Austrian citizens or not). And obviously, people whose skin is a different colour. Today, however, unlike what happened in the Nazi era, total assimilation seems to protect from hostility. And I fear that when we’re talking about ‘more integration’, well - to the large majority of the population, what that really means is ‘assimilation’. We do not want to experience and get used to what is foreign and unknown; we want those who only just arrived to adapt to our traditional way of life, and that will rarely succeed. That’s why we are uneasy with living with people from unfamiliar cultures. For a long time now, our politicians’ solution to this problem has been to wait and hope that the issue will fade as those who’re already here slowly become more tolerant and those who have recently moved here slowly learn how to fit in. Often, these expectations have been met; but just as often they have not.

What we need to do is implement concrete measures: for instance, compulsory kindergarten attendance and all-day schools. We need properly trained teachers so that children who speak a different language at home can learn German quickly and efficiently. That way, as they start school, both their language skills and their chances to have a good education will be the same as those of the native speakers. This is the only way to prevent the emergence of parallel societies in vulnerable neighbourhoods. Better schools are also the only viable tool to weaken the deeply ingrained racism of most of our local population. Let’s remember that those who know nothing will believe everything, even the most outrageous nonsense and the most shameless distortion of facts. 

That said, we still need to understand why so many people prefer to believe racists over those who say that it’s perfectly possible to coexist peacefully (if not to truly share our lives with others). Maybe there is a reason; maybe our skin doesn’t have seven layers, as we all have learned, but eight. Maybe this eighth layer is a ‘civilisation skin’. We are not born with it. It appears and changes as we grow up. Whether it’s thick or thin, well, that depends on how well we look after it. If we don’t care for it properly, it stays thin and tears easily. And what seeps from those wounds may lead to consequences that will again cause us to say: ‘No one ever wanted that’.”

Christine Nöstlinger, 2015

[misskazehana]

This is one doozy of an update as it’s the finale for the third act, I did this back in October but haven’t been able to post it due to external stuff as I mentioned. I am happy I got this out and I am going lie- I cried making this...

Anyways, one with the show;

Karnefur and Ursalis are bickering over stupid stuff. Astrid maintains his guard whilst blocking them out. His concerned gaze is fixated on the shivering mass of plague and magic before him. Sir Olric attempts to regain control over his severely deformed body. Umbrol asserts his dominance, the results are quite hideous and messy. Crying out, screeching in horrible pain- Olric wants Umbrol to get out. His mortified audience watches as he further mutates and is consumed by thousands of eyes. With still struggling to maintain control, he begs Astrid to kill him. Suddenly, he fires a powerful blast as the young, disoriented godling.

Emotions overcome all rationality as Astrid demands Umbrol to let the blonde bastard go. It quickly escalates as he unleashes pure-unbridle fury upon the smoldering mass of divine possession. Gobsmacked by the sudden turn of events, the twin mystics promptly back the fuck off. 

Meanwhile, Lady Yancy insists on evacuating the facility to reduce losses. Lord Phos desires to stay and try to contain the mess before it gets worse. This leads to an argument that boils down to Yancy wanting to protect her lordship. The sheer ferocity she displays in her wish to keep him safe catches Phos by surprise. She refuses to move out of the way when he tries to sidestep her. He wants to help and possibly try to save Astrid himself. He even dismisses his own life which ticks Yancy off even more. Of course, their whole bit is cut off by a massive noise outside the office. 

In one, final violent stab through the heart-Astrid manages to defeat Umbrol. The silence becomes deafening as he it slowly dawns on him what he’s has done. Tears begin to well up as he hears an all so familiar voice. 

It’s not Umbrol, it’s not ‘sir’ Olric- it’s his brother. He’s asking him to kill him.

Olric’s mind begins to flood with all the memories that he had left behind in his pursuits with Umbrol many ages ago. It’s a story of a young man who was raised by two selfish, sick individuals. Though mostly obscured due to mental distortion, one could suss out somethings. Such as his father being the one who had brought Astrid home and his Mother not being stable mentally. 

He admits he was and probably still isn’t sound. Astrid was supposedly healthy before the events that led to now. He remembers being hungry all the time. He recalls wanting to escape the life he was trapped in with his little brother. In his dying moments, he acknowledges that his selfishness is what made him into this- another plague victim. 

Astrid can barely comprehend his words as he mutters a confession. Olric confesses hoarsely that he doesn’t deserve to be save. He forgets what he’s going to say for a bit, before glossing over to how it’s better this way. How he isn’t going to ask for forgiveness knowing what he has done to him, what he had done to him. He knows he’s going to croak and only laments that he can’t see Astrid grow. Just as he’s about to end it, his voice cuts off into the darkness.

In the grieving man’s hands, he holds the soul of a mad god. With searing tears burning on his cheeks, Astrid devours Umbrol whole. His mind is consumed with an immense guilt as brief glimpses of his forgotten childhood surface. Then, he asks himself “why?” Why did this happen, why did it have to happen? He wonders if this is what it means to “grow”. No longer able to keep it together, Astrid breaks down loudly sobbing into his metal prosthetic hands. He blames himself for things he cannot control. He wants the pain to stop yet, it refuses as he cries himself hoarse. 

On the other side of Hylum, alone in his chambers; Lord Astirov is chatting with someone. A disembodied voice remarks about something growing. He smiles placidly whilst remarking it had been 23 years. The voice goes silent briefly before inquiring him when they’ll be “whole” again. He tells his ‘mother’ that it can call him son and that his ‘father’ is excited as well. 

The conversation seems a little somber as mother tells him it doesn’t like father. Rather, how father treats him. Astirov tearfully minimizes his father- the king’s abuse as he goes on how they’ll be whole again. He gazes mournfully upon his crystal ball, a shadowy image of who he has been after appears. He smiles as he asserts no one can stop them now, not Catherine- not Marian- not a soul. 

Mother departs for now and he bids it farewell. Then, a cold-foreboding presence enters into his chambers. Lord Astirov greets his father, the king of the gods. He assures him that his missing child, Astirov’s little brother shall come home soon. It becomes blatantly obvious that the king cares little for him outside of necessity. Despite being his own child, Astirov is nothing more than a tool. In fact, his radiance blames the usually idiotic man for losing his brother all those years ago. Without much protest, Astriov accepts responsibility. He goes over the day where it went wrong. He was left for dead after watching over his baby brother and the king simply left him to clean up the mess. 

After this, he goes to retrieve Marian for the next stage of his plans. Marian dreams of a ghoulish scene. Everything and everyone she loves is being consumed by the plague. She tries in futility to stop it. Then, thousands upon thousands of eyes devour her flesh as massive beast comes in and bites her head clean off.

Naturally, the spooked princess wakes up screaming from this morbid nightmare. Only to be tormented by an actual nightmare in the form of her captor. Lord Astirov commands silence as he insists he require her. Marian curses him out for showing his bitch face...

Plague and it’s characters belong to me, misskazehana

[lubdubsworld]

Fibonacci ( Yoongi x Jamie )

Chapter 9

When Yoongi walks into the dorm after spending a day in the recording room, the last thing he expects to see is Jamie Park in micro-mini shorts, astride on his bandmate's shoulders, laughing hysterically as she tries to reach for something on one of the higher shelves of the Kitchen cupboard. He struggles to keep his gaze away from the creamy expanse of her legs but fails to modulate his tone.

"What the hell are you two doing?" He snaps, but it's more of a growl.

To his surprise and annoyance, Jimin looks neither surprised nor embarrassed, merely grinning from behind his messy orange bangs.

It's against all the rules of their company yet Jimin sneaks his 'friend' in quite often. Worse, all the guys love her so much they say nothing to the guy. But Yoongi thinks she's too much of a distraction. Too noisy , too happy and too playful and just.....too much.

"Oh, hi hyung. We were just looking for some corn starch. I think Jin hyung left it up there again." He grinned and Yoongi can't help notice the way his palms curve on her bare thighs. Jamie , at least looks a little flustered, but she's still gripping Jimin's hair .

"Oh, oppa. We're so sorry...We just wanted to cook something for you guys." She says apologetically and he raises an eyebrow when she tries to get down. Jimin helps her down and there's a brief moment when his face is buried in the swell of her breasts and Yoongi wants to hit his bandmate because , seriously?? He knows the kind of stuff Jimin and Taehyung watch on their phones and honestly there's nothing remotely platonic in the way he stares at the curve of her collarbone.

Jamie is cheerfully oblivious and it just makes him angrier.

"You geniuses couldn't think of using the stepladder or a stool?" He rolls his eyes and moves to get the hell away from them when Jamie runs up to him.

"Oppa, you like chicken right? " She smiles brightly and he resists the urge to smile at her enthusiasm. He's pretty sure she sucks at cooking, has even heard Jackson complain about her, quote " Poison-like" cooking.

But he can't bring himself to rain on her parade , so he shrugs and moves to his room . Quickly. He slips his key in and pulls it back out quickly. Their rooms all have automatic locks these days and he's taken to carrying his key all the time just in case he ends up locking himself in.

Inside he peels his shirt off and stares at himself in the fl-length mirror before dropping the key on the table. He's lost a bit more weight and his lips are leaner but it just annoys him. Their pants are so tight they cut off his circulation sometimes. His mixtape is coming along well though and he tries to quell the rising apprehension. He's not sure how they're going to receive it. There's some pretty heavy and honest stuff there and while he's definitely gotten over most of them, it's hard exposing himself on such a level to the audience. But he thinks it may help in some way. He just wants some of this emptiness to go away.

He wants to feel....something. Anything.

He sighs, staring straight into his eyes.

It's irrational, he thinks. How can someone be so good at something and yet feel so inferior. He always thinks he's letting himself down unless he's crumbling from the inside from exhaustion. He glances briefly at the small white pillbox to the side. His back and waist hurt rather badly and he would love some Relaxants . He could take a couple and sleep for a while. He's been up all night as always and he hasn't slept in two days.

Or he could just go out and give himself an ulcer by watching his bandmate and Jamie Park.

It's no choice really .

He wants to sleep.

He walks out of the room to get a drink of water for the pills .

"EEEEK..."

He nearly jumps out of his skin when Jamie lets out a surprised squeak.

It takes him a second to realize that she's staring at him in horror and another to realize that he's just walked out shirtless, completely forgetting she's here.

"Oh, fuck... sorry...Mianhe..." He says over and over turning around and rushing back to his room only to find that the door's slammed shut behind him. He stares at it like an idiot. Did stuff like this actually happen in real life, he wonders with dawning horror.

He's shirtless, dressed only in indecently tight jeans and there's a girl  in the dorm.

Not just any girl, Jimin's girl. (It’s what he calls her in his head.) But then suddenly the sound of laughter comes over and he turns and she's smiling wide.

"It's okay, Oppa. I won't take a video and post it on the ARMY fansite." She winks.

He hesitates and curses the new dorm they've been given before returning her smile wanly.

"I'm sorry about this." He says roughly, rubbing his head in embarrassment. It's not that he's uncomfortable with his body or anything but it's sad that the only clothes at hand are too big for him. He's pretty sure he'd drown in one of the T-shirts on the couch which probably belong to Jin or Rapmon and well, he prefers being called shameless to being called small.

Not that he is, when you consider how short and .... cuddly Jamie Park is. He thinks she's a definitely a half-foot shorter than him.

"So..um.. where's Jimin?" He finally asks, suddenly noticing the guy's absence.

"Oh, he's gone to get us some drink from the vending machine." She smiles at him and he looks away rather awkwardly.

What the hell should he do now? Sit on the couch? Try opening his door again? Maybe see if one of the other rooms are open and at least throw on a shirt? Jimin's would fit him and well, beggars can't be choosers, can they?

He sneaks a glance at Jamie but she has her back to him, busily messing around on the kitchen counter. He thinks he can smell something mildly burning, but resists the urge to comment.

He tries fiddling with his phone but she interrupts him when she drops a couple of pots.

"You okay?" It's more instinct than concern. He's used to Rapmon injuring himself and destroying things.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine Oppa. I'm just bad at walking on these high heels." She laughs.

"Why wear them if you're uncomfortable?" He says logically and she looks over her shoulders to roll his eyes.

"Because they make my legs look longer, Oppa. It's my image." She shrugs and he decided from her tone that she's happier without them on.

"Well, I'm sure people will still love your music if you were to be a few inches shorter." He says comfortingly and she snorts.

Actually snorts.

Yoongi is fascinated.

He's never heard a woman snort before.

"Sure. The same way they would still love BTS if you guys were bald." She smirks back at him and he can't stop the little burst of laughter that sort of bubbles out of him.

Why was this lady so...unladylike?

"Fair point. " He nods.

"Besides, it’s what men like anyway. They prefer long legged girls, I mean, tell me honestly Oppa, would you rather be with a girl with long legs or one with short legs?"

He blinks in surprise and feels his ears go a bit red. Jamie was naive enough to ask him something that would make any other guy think of sex and he struggles a bit to keep his mind out of the gutter.

"Well...I'm sure that I may like a nice leggy girl but. Honestly? Fifty years from now, when I'm old and dying I doubt I'm going to be thinking about my wife's legs. It would be more about how much she loves me." He says seriously. He’s surprised at himself. He's not one to use words like this or to talk about his feelings. She just makes it so easy and natural.

She turns around and stares at him for a while.

"What do you think she's doing right, now?" She says softly.

He raises an eyebrow.

"Your wife. You know, the one you're going to marry."

He gapes at her because, seriously?

"That’s… What does that even mean?" He laughs because he can't believe the absurdity of her question.

"Oh come on.... She's probably well, at least a teenager by now, right? So..."

"Or maybe she isn't born yet." He says casually just to see her reaction.

He's not disappointed when she goes comically still, her face so adorably shocked he wants to take a picture and save it for posterity.

"Not born. are you serious...? " She shakes her head in disbelief.

"Why? I could marry a twenty-year-old when I'm forty..." He shrugs and she looks at him like he's lost his mind.

"I...I mean sure but..."

"Or do you think I won't be able to land a twenty-year-old when I'm forty?" He narrows his eyes in mock outrage and much to his surprise she blushes and shakes her head, tucking her hair behind and he feels kind of bad for teasing her.

"I..well...okay then. Not born. I should get back to cooking..." She turns around and once again Yoongi wonders what triggers her sudden mood changes. One minute she seems so friendly and then suddenly she starts blushing.

Sighing he goes back to his phone.

It's quiet and comfortable for a good ten minutes and he even forgets she's there in the same room with him.

"Oppa, try tasting this..." she says suddenly and he can only stare as she turns around holding the spoon out.

Apparently, she wants him to go over and taste whatever concoction she's made up and his empty stomach protests rather wildly. He's a foodie and he doesn't enjoy eating food that isn't delicious but really, how to get out of this?

Just don't spit it out in her face, he tells himself, moving to stand next to her.

The air around her is scented like vanilla and wildflowers and he's pretty sure it's not the food.

Grunting he opens his mouth and she sticks the spoon in. It's soupy, salty and a bit too spicy and honestly ' Poison-like' is an understatement. He can feel himself tearing up and fights to control his body's instinctive reaction.

"Very nice." He mutters and stifles a grin when her entire face lights up. It takes him a moment to realize that he's probably not the only one who's lied to her about her cooking. She's obviously been spoilt rotten by her countless Oppas, who probably eat all her noxious concoctions and call them delicious. That would explain her wish to cook for all of them, in the first place.

But then she's sloshing the soup down on him. He can only stare as the hot liquid falls on his chest, trickling down to his waist and she looks like she's just murdered his kitten or something. Before he can stop her, she's grabbing a tissue and touching him all over and holy fuck this was wrong on so many levels!

He grabs her wrists firmly and gives a little jerk. making her crash forward on unsteady legs. She goes still as their forehead bump. She's standing so close he could have counted her eyelashes.

"I'm okay." He says clearly and it's clear that she's forgotten how to breath, which Yoongi can sort of relate to.

Jimin walks in right at that moment and just stares at him with a slack jawed expression and Yoongi lets her go like he's scalded.

He quickly moves away, reaching Jimin and roughly yanking the loose white shirt he has on over his T-shirt.

"Gimme that." He mutters taking it off and slipping it on before the younger can comment anything.

"What just...?"

"I'm going to get some sleep." Yoongi says stiffly and glances at Jamie who's still staring at him. He nods awkwardly and gets the hell out.

He can go sleep in the recording room. So what if his back is killing him and his neck feels like it's been twisted a million times?

At least it's quiet and....lonely.

Damn her to hell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, I can actually go?" Jamie whispers in shock, staring at the pass and the tickets. Yerin shrugs.

"Well, my friend's got some important thing to go to and well, she's already bought the tickets. You should go, you really like them right? Besides I'm sure Jimin Oppa will like it if you were there."

Jamie stares rather despondently because on the one hand, she would love to watch Yoongi live again and...

Jimin, she tries to tell herself,

 Not Yoongi.

Sighing, she drops her head to her arms. She's not sure if this whole friendship thing with Jimin is helping her get over her devotion to Yoongi or making it worse. 

Sure,Yoongi ignores her most of the times and even walks out of the room when she's talking to one of the members, but it's hard to ignore the sudden looks he gives her.

 Like there's something he wants to ask her but he's sure he won't like the response, so he's keeping it to himself.

And isn't she pathetic, being able to read him that well, just from his look?

Not pathetic, she thinks, staring out into the rainy afternoon. Just observant. The rest of Bangtan is fairly open and obvious but Min Yoongi has a billion quirks that he just hides behind. She's spent the better part of her youth analyzing each one and honestly, now that she gets to see him it's only become worse.

Still, watching him onstage could be nice, she thinks. And Jimin as well. All jokes aside, she thinks Jimin's a great guy . He treats her like a girl , for one thing .

It's already been two months since she saw him and though Jimin texts her often about their schedules , it's not the same as him being around. She misses him and well, Yerin was right.

He would be happy to see her again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi has no idea how it happens.

They're backstage after the SBS concert and he's sweaty and tired and on a fucking adrenaline rush because nothing turns him on like an energetic performance. 

He can hear the blood pounding in his veins, there's a rivulet of sweat running down his neck and hitting his chest and when he enters the dressing room where he's supposed to be he finds his own locked and Jimin's open, so he slips inside. 

He's looking for a towel to wipe his face with when the door opens. It's one of the fans with a backstage pass and she looks pretty beautiful and sexy as well. He grins because it's what he's paid to do and she smiles wide, showing twin dimples.

"Suga Oppa.... Can I get a selca?" She smiles and he nods quickly, moving to stand next to her.

"Oppa could you give me a kiss?" She blinks pointing at her cheek and he laughs turning around for a peck. But the girl turns at the last minute and he finds himself pressing his lips against hers instead.

The door swings open at exactly the same moment and to his complete and utter surprise it's Jimin and Jamie, laughing with their arms around each other. Jamie takes one look at him and the girl and he catches the look on her face one second before she manages to hide it completely.

Complete and utter devastation.

His throat closes up and all the joy he's been feeling from being onstage vanishes in a second.

"Hyung!! Do this in your room, not mine!" Jimin sounds teasing but he's staring at Jamie in concern. Yoongi doesn't think.

"I want to have a word..." He says stiffly, moving to Jamie and she looks stunned and flustered.

"Oh,..ah ..now ? No, Oppa. It's alright I just..."

"Now!" He all but shouts and this time, Jimin steps in, looking a bit angry,

"Hyung, you're scaring her...what’s wrong with you?"

"Stay out of it." Yoongi hisses before he can stop himself.

Jamie quickly places a hand on Jimin's chest and Yoongi can't help notice the way it calms Jimin down at once. Jimin is short tempered and easily riled and usually it takes more than a pat on the chest to make him back down.

 Apparently it's different when the one touching him is Jamie Park. The sight makes him come to his senses and he feels his stomach turn over in sickening realization. 

This is them, together. 

jimin and Jamie, together. 

He didn’t fit in , not in that equation.  

And this is Jimin's room and he doesn't belong here.

Without a word, he storms past both of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jamie doesn't think.

She pulls away from Jimin and rushes out after Yoongi, her heart pounding and her mind already screaming that this isn't right .

He's going to say something horrible and hurtful again, she tries to tell herself but it's impossible to stop now.

She's just too far into the emotional chaos that is Min Yoongi.

She can't stop.

She sees him disappear around the corner and she all but crashes into some lighting equipment as she makes her way to him.

He's standing near a storage closet and she opens her mouth ready to call his name when she remembers who she is and who he is. 

There could be fans here, saesang fans who would rip her to shreds if they caught her with him. 

Her mind feels splintered with helplessness.

 He looks so lost...so hurt as he stands there alone but she can't get close.

He turns around a second before she starts to leave and her gaze widens when she sees the pain in his eyes.

She doesn't think and doesn't care.

She rushes up to him and grabs his arm.

“Oppa, are you alright…I…”

But he’s already pulling her close, wrapping an arm around her waist and pushing her into the storage closet. The door slams shut and he pushes her up against the wall, the smell of male skin and cologne driving her crazy.

And then he kisses her.

It’s quick and messy and sweaty and her hands cling to his shirt with a death grip. He tastes like flavored water and candy and she can’t help whimpering when he pulls away, leaving her glassy-eyed and delirious with desire.

“Kisses don’t mean anything.” He says roughly and she stares at him, completely thrown.

And then he’s leaving, slamming the door behind her and she’s left wondering which kiss he’s talking about.

[itstimetowatch]

Donut Run

So am I supposed to buy that Duncan is sleeping with Kendall? Because I really don’t. That would be way too much like having a personality. Also, he’s nowhere around. Even if I bought him sleeping with her, I definitely don’t buy him leaving her alone with his valuables, as hard up for money as she was just a couple of episodes ago. Somehow, I doubt $52k a year is keeping Kendall in designer clothes.

Furthermore, why is Kendall still sleeping with Logan, anyway? They’ve both made pretty clear that they have nothing but contempt for one another as people. He’s already made it abundantly clear that she’s not getting anything out of him financially. Shouldn’t she be out scouting out a new 09er husband?

So that was either a terribly written break-up scene… or it was staged. Veronica doesn’t do feelings in public and I really don’t think she’d be that insensitive about Meg’s death.

Backup!

I don’t really buy Veronica as a one who wallows in a break-up, either. If this was last season, I would be 100% convinced that this was all a set-up for something. As is, I kind of feel like it’s a set-up, but I am also preparing myself for it to just be a poorly written break-up.

Backup and Wallace! Tag teaming to help out their girl Veronica. This is the team-up that the world needed!

Ah, yes, the public break-up to save Veronica from being charged as an accomplice to this ludicrous plot. Yep, it was all a show.

Why is Veronica standing for a lineup? There’s no way they went to all this trouble to stage a break-up only to be seen together plotting.

Vinnie! Oh, he’s just the worst thing in the living world! He should be on the show way more often.

Lucy Lawless as the FBI Badass Lady! Cool!

Deputy Leo’s replacement was on Sons of Anarchy.

Hehehe! Oh, tear him apart Lucy! Stomp Sheriff Shithead flat!

“Morning, Sam.” “Mornin’, Ralph.” Another reference that I feel like is too old for Tumblr. Do Looney Toons still air on American TV?

(Not relevant to the current review, but rather to my life.)

I have to say, so far this Logan-Weevil team-up story is surprisingly underwhelming. These guys have such amazing, natural chemistry together all the time. I don’t understand what’s going on. Maybe it’s just that these scenes are just so straightforward. There’s nothing distinctly Logan-Weevil about them. These conversations could between any two characters.

So they are working together. I have to admit, my certainty was a bit thrown there for a bit. Good work, Show.

I’m pretty sure Mexico is out of your jurisdiction, Sheriff Shithead. The FBI has dismissed you from this case. If you grab Duncan and bring him back across the border, that’s kidnapping. That will ruin the legal case against him.

Why would Veronica keep the baby’s diapers in their apartment? How would they do anyone any good there?

Felix and Molly Fitzpatrick? So it wasn’t about drugs, it was about assholes who won’t let kids be in love. Well, that just opened up the field of suspects to just about everyone in this whole stupid town. No, but seriously, this story is so flat right now.

When the stoner guy makes the most sense of just about anybody? Sad days…

Oooooh! Sheriff Shithead! You did it to yourself!

So those other hitchhikers are just holding their thumbs out for… no one?

Vinnie! And Astrid? What’s her part in this? Why on Earth is she helping? How far is she going with Duncan? Like I’d get if he/they somehow convinced Astrid to serve as an accomplice and afterward she just quietly slipped back into her life since no one notices the help. The closing montage, however, shows her riding off into the sunset with Vinnie and Duncan. Is she just, like, giving up her life to help Duncan raise this baby?

Okay, so this plot is ridiculous. If Duncan can scrounge up $30k to pay Vinnie, then he can fight the Mannings in court and this whole entire thing was unnecessary. Furthermore, the court isn’t going to give the Mannings the baby so that they can put it up for adoption when the baby’s father is willing and able to raise her. If the Mannings have changed their tune about giving the baby up in the wake of Meg’s death, then they have to prove themselves fit guardians, and Duncan and Veronica have enough on them to spoil that. And lastly, Duncan is the father of this child, no one disputes this fact, therefore, he has parental rights (and having them taken away is a months/years-long process that cannot be carried out in secret). Since Meg’s dead, he is, in fact, the only one who has parental rights over this baby, which means it is legally impossible for him to kidnap this child. Legally speaking they are on a family vacation to Mexico.

(Basically, the A-plot in gif format.)

Now, all that having been said, I still liked this episode: I liked the push and pull between Lamb and the FBI. I like that the FBI agents are openly amused by Veronica being a sarcastic shit to Lamb. I like the wild goose chase nature of all of the misdirects. Vinnie Van Lowe is a comedic treasure who needs about 75% more screen time. I’m happy Wallace is back and Jackie’s not.

Really the only thing that wasn’t entertaining was the Logan-Weevil stuff, which is, quite frankly, astounding because usually, they’re great together.