#to put in perspective how insanely good of a deal this was i have never seen a used tripod go for under $100. usually a lot more

[asthevermincrawls]

went out to buy earplugs for a concert and came back with a camera tripod that i got from a thrift store for $30 (!!!!!!!!!!!). gonna be riding this high for weeks tbh now i can finally try out longer exposures

[sasahuaa]

Guide on how to get married (by the God of Spring)

Synopsis: To love and be loved is the greatest blessing both deities received, as conversations about the future started to arise, the deity of the Underworld was afraid of forever ruining their lover, but the god of spring begs to differ.

A retelling with Persephone!Childe and Hades!gn!reader

first time writing more os reader’s pov instead of the character bc it would fit better in this, honestly both Childe and reader bullshit their perspective a lot, reader is a bit insecure but not unwilling, and Childe kinda comforts them in the end, the three-day ceremony is a mention how the ancient greek did weddings but not very much dived into in this situation (I tried to research how gods used to marry in mythology but I didn’t find any descriptions, just a “oh and then they got married/was forced to marry”, genuinely, is there any hellenic text that describes it? so this fic is just a non conventional way of eloping)

The god of spring giggled merrily as he put a flower crown on your head, his deft fingers making the flowers bloom and release pollen, he lowered his hands until they wrapped around your neck, blowing wind to your face with plenty of petals following his will.

Years ago, when both of you met for the first time, he wasn't as keen to physical touch like he is now, seeking your warmth willingly and falsely whining when his needs aren't met. Your younger selves met during one of your outings from the Underworld, the melancholic reign is suffocating and gloomy on good days, and a living nightmare in the worsts.

To look at the bright sky and hear the song of the birds were incomparable experiences after dealing with the screams of agony from wandering souls. And though Childe couldn't say he faced the same situation, he still delighted anytime he ran away too far away from his home, for to go around the world filled him with indescribable joy.

It was kind of amusing, if not borderline insane, that from all the people that he could choose to have a relationship with, from gods to mortals, he would choose just the one that home was almost like a prison.

And there was always a pinch of guilt when you thought about the future, Childe would often babble about it, how he wanted to spend it with you, to the decorations and foods your house should have to the names of possible pets. This saddens you so, because for the way the god talked, it would mean that the Underworld would lock him in.

For all the years spent together, though still indulging him in his dreams when he mentions them, you never really took a step to really achieve them. It was just obvious, marrying the deity of the underworld is the worst fate to exist.

And you loved him so much, he was really the ray of sunshine that your home misses, a flame of affection so gentle that contrasts with the cold and dark walls of your palace. Being with him was one of the best things that happened to you, as his love for you also burns deep and is capable of igniting even a forest of ice, and yet, your heart hurted from imagining how miserable Childe would be if they end up together forever.

You hoped that Childe saw that the same way, that it meant giving up his freedom to partake in the food from your realm. But yet, most things hardly ever go your way.

“We should marry already” he smiled, his eyes so usually dull sparkled at the mere word “It has been a while, don't you think so?”

“An” you avoided his eyes, the flower crown slowly started to wilt, though you were unsure if this was result of your own nervousness as you lost control of death or if it was a sign of Childe's impatience, and an excuse needed to be made quickly, before the other god lost his spark again! “I am not acquaintanced with marriage rituals, beloved”

Even if it was a dumb, shit excuse!

“Different cultures have different customs” Childe waved a finger before your face “As for the godly customs… while I would like the usual three-day ceremony, I would also very much appreciate a banquet in the name of our love.”

“Why not celebrate the three-day ceremony?”

“You know the other gods wouldn't agree to that” his shoulders slumped “Worst case scenario we should pretend that you kidnapped me”

“Oh” you blinked a couple of times before his suggestion downed on you, immediately making the probably most smart decision of pretending you heard nothing and focus on the important part, Childe's freedom! “Maybe the other gods have a point-”

“Never” Childe said between his teeth “I know what is better for myself”

“... I see”

“So the proper way our wedding should proceed is being served the best food of all realms!”

The best food of all realms! You certainly could work with that, after all, Childe never tasted the Underworld food to appoint it as the best, and since the only way for him to be imprisoned there is by eating its food… You could avoid giving it to him entirely!

“You are right” he smiled sweetly at the praise “When would be a proper date for our wedding?”

"Right now”

“... oh”

“Listen to me, this is the ideal moment, before anyone else get wind of this”

“Alright” you sighed, catching his hands in your and bringing to your mouth to deliver small pecks on his knuckles. The god of spring felt goosebumps up his arms at the cold touch, kissing your lips as if to warm them with his.

There was a strain in your stomach as you opened a cleft through the earth, a clear passage to the Underworld right in front of your feet. It's the first time that Childe will venture these walls, and you couldn't help but worry that he would feel grossed out by the dark surroundings.

Stealing a glance in his direction, Childe looked around the place in interest, there was almost a skip in his steps, and his smile was as bright as it was when the both of you first confessed.

“Nice landscape, it seems like a lovely place”

Well, you guess you should know by now that Childe is not easily scared by the things the other gods avoid.

The deity praised your palace as you guided him, not once releasing his grip on your hand the whole way. As you entered the dining room and pulled a chair for him, you muttered a lowly sorry “I know you asked for a banquet, but this situation is very sudden, so I won't have much food available”

“You worry too much, love, any food is good” Childe pinched your cheeks and dismissed you to the kitchens.

It was quite untrue to say that your home was lacking food, for even the undead or the other resident deities enjoy to regale themselves with good food from time to time, what is true is the short stock of Overworld food, as you don't bring much back with you during your trips and most are gifts to the sleep deity that their earthly friends give them.

Either way, with the little you have you carefully prepare his meal, with a side dish containing figs and lotuses, a wine glass also was included on the tray. You knew that everything that was plated were things that he enjoyed, everything was accounted for, as you do love him and don't want to serve Childe anything less than perfect.

And yet, when the dishes were placed before Childe and you saw his eyes slowly darken and the corner of his mouth tensing, you felt a chill up your spine and a sense of dread in your chest. Your body momentarily paralyzed when he began to talk.

“My love, why didn't you serve me Underworld food?” the god of spring recomposed himself, eyes searching for yours when he looked up.

“Ajax, my dear, you know that the Underworld food will forever bound you to this place, I would never lock you here-”

“Why?” he interrupts sternly “I am aware of the consequences of eating anything from the Underworld, I was reminded constantly by my mother about it after the first time I met you, and I asked for eloping with food with purpose in mind”

You gapped at his words, dropping to your knees by his side and talking his hands in yours “Still, it would take your freedom away from you, I don't want you to resent being stuck here”

“I chose to spend forever with you and this is something I will never regret” Childe tightened his grip on you “But now I wonder if you had the intentions of spending forever with me at all”

“Of course I want to stay forever with you!” you immediately deny, hugging him close “You know the great cost of it though”

Childe sighed and petted your back, his gaze softened while he looked at you and cupped your face, tapping his index finger under your eye in admonishment.

“And I entered our relationship knowing that, I know you worry about me, but I know since the start what I got myself into and have been dreaming of that” Childe took a lotus seed in the middle of his fingers, forcing your mouth open with his other hand and placing the delicacy on your tongue “Won't you bring me proper food now, beloved?”

I began to write this because I had the phrase “He is not stuck with me, I am stuck with him” in mind but I guess I changed the writing direction by the end

fully focusing on Vil as an omega now, I am terrible with dates bc I figured I am a very slow writer, but I will try my best to post till sunday

[wintergrofyuri]

@itsonlypolite

@wrathful-banette

TEEHEE OK

so. i forgot to say. skeptic IS a detective. a pi. a gumshoe. a dick, if you will. but i guess thats sort of implied already. i just wanted to state it clearly.

but anyways.

this whole thing was made bc im so fucking insane about the cage chapter. the themes about being a slave to fate and how our actions are not our own and losing control of yourself and your life. just. ugh. it speaks to me a lot. and ofc skeptic being an old timey detective is so universal. i joke about hating him but i Do like him and find him interesting. i want to put him in situations.

and thats what this whole au is. putting skeptic in situations. hearing new perspectives, having his theories proven wrong, dealing with uncooperative suspects, red herrings. i love when hes wrong or ignored or otherwise slighted. he seems very. sure of himself? not an arrogant fool, but more. a guy who hasnt been wrong before. ykno. and i think ur typical film noir (with slay the princess elements like cycles and fate) is just a really natural fit to explore all that.

but its Also about playing with the whole "perception based creature" thing that the princess has going on. i Love "character nobody really knows" and the princess, with her multiple forms and fluid personality, works Rlly rlly well with this concept. i love the princess and i think she deserves to be a mysterious "haunting the narrative" type character. shes like a spy with multiple disguises. or someone in witness protection.

and also bartender hero lives in my mind like a parasite. oh my god that reminds me i need to talk about the others ok.

hero is the bartender (as stated before) of "the long quiet" bc i think its funny theyre still in tlq even in this silly film noir au.

stubborn is the bouncer/bodyguard/whatever the fuck you call it. he kicks ppl out when they get too rowdy.

cheated is The regular there. he either sits at a table and mopes or gets roped into a card game with opportunist that results in both of them being kicked out (theres always blood drawn).

opportunist is a conman/snake oil salesman whos only still allowed bc hero is too nice and opp is too good at buttering ppl up.

smitten is a tortured artist, lamenting to anyone who will listen about his lost love and muse. he is never paying his damn tab, but again, hero is too nice.

cold is a mysterious figure who only visits the bar like. once a month. he barely talks to anyone and only drinks water. (hes an assassin LOL)

broken is the local priest (the god is shifty btw) who only visits bc hero told him to get out more. he doesnt drink either. he just looks vaguely haunted.

contrarian is a guy whos hard to pin down. you cant find him, you just have to pray he appears ykno. the only people who Know him are hero and cold, but hero refuses to divulge anything abt him and cold is just. Cold. ykno.

paranoid is skeptic's partner (lol) and secretary. he does half the work around the office (maybe more) and lives with skeptic. he complains and protests and threatens to quit, but its all bark. hes very loyal. to his own frustration.

now im going to be honest. hunted is Super difficult to put in this au. given his role as a fight or flight, base animal instinct type, he cant be fit into an au like this very easily. ive considered a hunter, but that doesnt fit him at all. so. im a hack and i should delete my tumblr.

but no seriously hunted is very difficult. ALSO. THE NARRATOR. ive been thinking if i should add him and how prevelant he should be and what he would be like. if he should be in the bar or if skeptic would need to meet him somewhere else. maybe hes the villain ykno. but im. not sure and i dont wanna make the whole thing Too big ykno. i swear its not just bc i dont like him (joke (hes fun to hate (but also i hate him), i genuinely am stuck on what to do with him.

anyways. thats pretty much it. i dont wanna derail this post with. yaoi ramblings. so ill keep it close to my chest. also b4 u ask, im. not going to make this a fic or anything. i dont have the energy for something like this and im not very. good at writing longform anyway. i much prefer tiny drabbles. and anyways, its kinda. rlly unfinished cuz ive been too busy thinking too hard about minor details.

listen to 3 time tony winner, broadway classic, city of angels with music by cy coleman, lyrics by david zippel, and book by larry gelbart. thanks.

I ALMOST FORGOT. theyre still birds 💜. yayyyy 💞

[lockheed-martin-unofficial]

22 for the drabble ask with Starscream!

22: you, from their perspective.

I sort of bent the prompt a little and wrote the moment his perspective of her changed. For context our human is a pilot, and Starscream has agreed to reluctantly cooperate with the Autobots (season 2 ish) even though he refuses to join them. This didn’t turn out 100% the way I wanted it to, all the more motivation to get better at writing so I can re-do it in the future.

Thank you for asking!

Words: 850

——————————————————————————

“You know, it’s nice to finally have another flyer on the team.”

“Right.” Starscream stretched his limbs, his wings twitching from how good it felt to just spread out. He couldn’t remember how long it had been since his last flight. He met the human standing next to the cliff edge, feeling the warm desert air flow around them from all directions.

“And who might your first flyer be?” He asked with a smirk, skeptical.

“Um, myself?”

A deep, rumbling laugh sounded beside the pilot.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You, you’re not a flyer.” He replied, an air of superiority about him. This human, a flyer? What a ridiculous concept. Humans weren’t even created to fly, let alone fly to the degree of a seeker. Whereas he was engineered to aerodynamic perfection. How could they ever be the same?

“I don’t expect you to possibly understand the true meaning of flight.” He replied dismissively.

“Listen, I get it. Here you are, flying since the day you were created, with a body quite literally tailored to the sky. And all of a sudden this small, fragile creature without even wings to call her own says you two are the same? I’d be unimpressed too.”

He looked down at her with one raised eyebrow, not expecting the genuine reply. She didn’t sound angry, she didn’t even sound offended. The human pilot sat down, remaining a safe distance away from the edge and crossing her legs.

“Let me put it this way. When you were left without your T-cog, unable to fly…How did it make you feel?”

Starscream sat down as well, his legs dangling off the cliff. Wings drooped down ever so slowly on his back. It was obvious she’d hit a sensitive spot.

“Restrained. With an indescribable sense of longing.” He replied without missing a beat, gazing off into the distance.

“And every time I looked up at the sky…”

A pause. A tiny crack in his voice.

“You felt the crushing weight of knowing you could never reach it.” She completed, her tone soft yet containing a hint of sorrow. His stabilisers shot up, and he suddenly turned his head to look at her.

“You…”

“That’s how I feel all the time. Look at me. No dancing between the clouds for me. No heat of the sun on my frame, no wind tugging at my stabilisers, and certainly no gentle droplets of rain on my wings.” The human sighed, her voice faltering.

“That’s just the way it is.”

He felt pity. He almost even felt a little guilty. Starscream raised a servo, placing his talons on her shoulder as gently as possible. He felt sorry for her. He could hear the longing in her voice. The passion and love she couldn’t help but feel, despite knowing it only made things worse for her.

“I’m sorry.”

Perhaps he had misjudged her. True, she was a small and fragile little thing, but he had to admit the fact that she was still striving for the sky, even though her own body was against this idea, made her admirable in her own way. The human was startled for a split second at the touch, before relaxing and placing her own hand over his servo, her fingers caressing his digits and her head leaning into his touch.

“It’s alright.”

“No.”

The human looked up, and Starscream leaned down to her level.

“No,” he repeated, “it’s not alright. It’s terrible! How do you even deal with it?” He had already spent a few months unable to fly, but he couldn’t imagine doing it for an entire lifetime. He would’ve gone insane.

She was touched by the outburst. It made her feel seen, made her struggle feel so much more real.

“Well… I try to fly as often as I can, get as close as I can, but it’s not what I want. It’s not the same as having my own wings to fly with, being able to feel and control every little thing. You know?”

“Of course not…” he nodded, contemplating. “It could never be the same.”

It made more sense now, why she had been so eager to assist him all this time, why she’d volunteered to be his partner. She’d seen him going through the same thing she was, but unlike her, his situation could be helped.

For that help, he was silently grateful. And then, Starscream did something unexpected.

“If you’d like…” he averted his gaze, fiddling with his talons as he spoke. “I will allow you to fly me on our way back to base.” He offered, trying to sound as nonchalant, as disinterested as possible.

“Thank you.”

He flinched at the sudden feeling of something warm and soft wrap around his digits. He collected himself, answering quickly.

“Yes, yes, don’t get used to it. I just don’t enjoy seeing you all sappy and miserable.” He waved her away with a servo, still avoiding eye contact.

As humiliating as his current predicament was, he had to admit it was nice to have another flyer on the team. Even such a squishy one.

[ilikekidsshows]

I think it's fascinating how Marinette fans' argument simply never change. It's still the same general and basic explanations they've been saying for years on end and they all come down to saying that the rest of the narrative beyond Marinette herself doesn't rlly matter.

They think they have to explain that Marinette is 14, has feelings and is stressed and traumatised because that's somehow something that can be missed while watching the show? Or they think that you not liking her means you somehow "forgot" about these information, or you just never considered it and put it together.

That's so wild to me. They genuinely believe that the most basic information about our main character and the story and every single conflict in the show is some secret special knowledge only THEY have.

As if it's impossible to just fundamentally disagree with the morality of a main character's writing. Especially when the main character centric morality hasn't always been a thing, so things obviously changed.

It's so interesting to me that Marinette fans act like they dont understand that it should be NORMAL for a piece of media to be consumable in long term even if you don't vibe with the main character. It's totally valid to just enjoy a piece of media for other characters and the world it shows. It's a sign of a GOOD show, if you can do this.

What ruins it for Miraculous is that the writers are OBSESSED with making everything they established now as one sided as possible, even if the retcons are incredibly mean spirited and even harmful messages to the kids watching, because Marinette must have her way, be the center of the universe, and be validated that she's pure and the greatest person ever.

What ruins Miraculous in this sense is that the show doesn't ALLOW you to ever escape Marinette and her main character centric morality for 5 seconds. Other shows just have the plot be about their main character but they still let the world be on its own. But Miraculous is obnoxiously aggressiv in telling you that it's only get to be about HER, even when it hardly ever IS. That's insanely insecure writing.

Just let Marinette be the MC who we follow as the plot happens around her in the interesting world. She herself barely matters because that's how they WROTE her. But don't make it ABOUT her when it isn't?

---

The Maripologist creed of “she's fourteen, stressed out and traumatized” really just leans into that thing I’ve been saying, how Marinette is the only character treated as a fictional person by the writers and her apologists. Because, like, even when the more reasonable Marinette stans also use this cliché, they at least apply it to every character. The typical Maripologist only cares that everyone understands that Marinette being a teen in the show means that criticizing her is the same as bullying a child, while they hate on other equally 14-year-old characters, who are also stressed out and/or traumatized.

The thing is that I know where this defense came from. It sprung up as a way to defend young protagonists making typical young protagonist mistakes that the fandom was very harsh on them for. It was intended as a way to get people to put a character’s mistake into perspective. “The writers intend this to be a mistake and they're purposefully writing this character as an inexperienced child.”

It's basically the Mabel Pines defense. But, like, even in the case of Mabel Pines, the “this is a fictional character” aspect covers more of her so-called crimes than “the writers are just making her a realistic kid on purpose” does. Because, like, here's the thing: the Weirdpocalypse is the consequence of Mabel thinking: “I’ll stretch out the summer for a bit so that I can come to terms with going home alone” and the entire second act of Weirdpocalypse storyline deals with Mabel being confronted with the issues that caused her to think messing with spacetime was a good idea. You can't say Mabel got off lightly just because there was no big moment of “Dipper found out Mabel got tricked by Bill and now Dipper is mad at her”, when she was put in court to confront her own issues. The writers dealt with the cause of what happened, so it won't happen again.

Never mind how the fans still harping on about Mabel years after the show ended ignore how the Weirdpocalypse was always going to happen because Ford decided “this knowledge that is essential in keeping my arch enemy at bay should never be shared to any allies because I’m a paranoid control freak and what if my arch enemy finds out through them?” I’m not saying Ford should be getting dragged across the coals for “getting off easy” because the writers dealt with even that by having Ford face how his own paranoid behavior was pushing people away (mostly Stan) and his consequences were to have the thing he wanted to prevent happen anyway, have someone else save the day and almost lose the person he pushed away the most permanently.

Like, there are ways to tell if writers are actually holding their characters accountable or if they're just milking a character’s flaws with no intent of payoff and it’s not just about what characters say but how these things are framed. You can tell if the writers are actually interested in dealing with the reasons behind a character’s behavior or if they're just giving you backstory to serve as an excuse. Because, as I said, Ford has to face how him being unnecessarily cryptic and distant with anyone who isn't his protege/new best friend he can manipulate and order around is the very reason he's so lonely and has to deal with things alone.

Ford doesn't let people help him because he keeps unnecessary secrets from people who would help him, or would need that info to not fall into Bill’s hands. Ford takes responsibility for the whole world of his own volition, all because of this kind of thinking. And the thing is, the feud between him and Stan is the result of this attitude and it lasts for alomost as long as Ford is a character in the series, until they finally talk honestly. I will say that before that confrontation Ford grinded my gears with how static he seemed to be as a character, and that was only for half a season, so it is in writers’ best interest to deal with things like characters trying to piss you off on purpose in a timely manner. I can’t say I would have enjoyed Gravity Falls as much as I did, or at all, if Ford was the only character whose perspective was allowed to matter and him acting like a self-important dunce lasted for an entire season, like we’re aiming to do with Marinette gaslighting Adrien.

When characters mess up in Gravity Falls, the plot is gonna twist in a way that specifically gets them to unpack that. When Marinette messes up, the plot is gonna twist in a way where she gets vindicated or the bad thing she did is going to be ignored in favor of her getting pats on the back for failing again. We're to the level of Alya getting mindwiped to justify Marinette not having to actually confront the things she's done and, most importantly, why she keeps doing this. Marinette going: “The truth is too harsh” is not addressing the core of the issue: the fact that she's scared because she can't control how Adrien will react to the truth and how he will see her afterwards, because the truth makes her look bad and Marinette is overly self-conscious of other people’s perception of herself. Marinette being worried about how things will reflect on her is behind so many of the hurtful things Marinette does, so addressing that would be what any good story aims to do, but Miraculous isn't a good story.

And, like, as you said, if the show didn't try to be so Marinette-focused all the time, they wouldn't be shooting themselves in the foot by having Marinette constantly doing annoying things while insisting to the audience that only bad people get annoyed at Marinette. Like, just don't have Marinette cause the inciting incident so often! Focus on other characters! You have a huge cast that used to have a variety of hobbies that weren't just shipping Marinette with Adrien. Have Nathaniel deal with someone plagiarizing his art, deal with Adrien's fans not respecting his right to privacy when it's not about how inconvenient that is to Marinette, have Nino coming up with new gimmicks to try to break it into showbiz and how that could backfire. We had other options than: "Marinette is trying to get close to Adrien, hijinks ensue" and now "Marinette is a lying liar who lies, drama ensues".

[soulanine]

Hello!!

I wanted to ask if you had any asl brother fanfictions??

I'm literally not even close to those episodes but I've seen so many spoilers and art about them that I'm already obsessed lmao

It's totally cool if you don't have any or just don't want to share, it just seems like you would know some good one lol

Hope you have a good day! 😁

SO SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE tumblr hasnt been notifying me lately

there’s so many fics i’ve gone insane over i’d be overjoyed to share !!!!!

i don’t know if u or anyone else want to avoid major spoilers, but just in case, i put a red star (*) next to those that have them 😗

light up, light up - taizi

aaah taizi has so many great fics but this is one of my favorites; u can go thru all their op works to find more i didn’t list. it’s focused around sabo and is like a role reversal. definitely teared up

a little murder never killed anybody - loserlife592

family reunion !! asl expresses their ways of affection and boggles some minds. so cute……..

a song to bring you home - taizi

canon divergence—not sure how much u’ve seen, but it’s definitely still worth the read. it’s wonderful and cute and makes me ILL

without you by my side - capisback

ace and luffy get into a small scuffle; ace figures things out eventually. brotherly love….. oh im dead on the floor it’s wonderful

fish day (it takes a village) - hyperbolicreverie

luffy drags ace and sabo to a festival. they have fun, there’s cool villager dialogue that never fails to satisfy me, and cuteness

*all for one - missmungoe

okay i have a fair amount of alternate marineford fics but damn it i am nothing if not a sucker for good endings. read if ur fine with slight spoilers lol !! good bonding moments

soft and quiet and peaceful - whirlybird70

snow day….. just some nice fluff. can never go wrong with that

where the wild things are - space_ghost_with_the_most

FRIEND GHOST HAS LOVELY FICS !! u should check them out !!! 23k words of feral jungle children asl and it’s WONDERFUL

light up the sky (with you) - whirlybird70

luffy once again drags ace and sabo to have an adventure, this time with fireworks !! + makino cameo. it’s so cute the way they’re written…. !!

bedtime rituals - poisonstain

sweet n soft sickfic…… the series is about something different, this is a flashback, so u can check out the other fics in it if u’d like !

signal lamps - cowboy_emoji

ace and luffy catch fireflies, dadan and luffy talk a bit about ace. luffys his weirdly perceptive self; dadan continues to deal with them. love <3

*take a step in mine - soccersarah01

another alternate marineford—if ur fine with spoilers, it’s good ! it takes a sec, but sweet asl reunion <3

*time moves through you - lampalot7

technically only ace and luffy but i’ve reread this one so many times. it does have both marineford and gear 5 spoilers tho, so keep that in mind if u want to avoid them. time travel, little luffy cameo, AUGH it’s all so cute

*there is thunder in our hearts / you were always gold to me - taizi

these are also both alternate marineford + the latter gear 5, sorry 🫢 i think u get the gist by now

put your faith in what you most believe in - taizi

taizi just has lovely asl fics it’s insane. sickfic, sabo worries, but they both feel better in the end <3

here in spirit - lampalot7

GHOST ASL FIC !!!!! i’ve loved it for a while, and it inspired a few aspects of my own ghost au. made me cry……. god i love ghosts

close calls (or, monkey d. dragon’s no good, very bad day) - isntitlupintic

dragon’s perspective and focuses a lot on him, but there are some sweet asl moments !!! dragon saves the day !

[ampheenix]

If we stayed connected, would I be forced to change?

TAGS: mizuena, getting together, flirting, texting, fluff and angst, 5k

SUMMARY:

Wait a second. Ena froze.

There was… there was no way she had accidentally posted that sketch of Mizuki on her social media account, was there? That was insane, she would never make such a stupid mistake, so matter how sleep-addled her brain was.

Please let it be posted to the art account, please let it be posted to the art account, Ena begged to herself. That she could deal with - hardly anyone would see it anyway, she thought bitterly.

Terrified thoughts roaring in her mind, she opened the app, frantically wishing that her internet would load faster, fuck!

And then… it loaded… and Ena sat there, aghast.

---

Or, Ena accidentally uploads an incredibly detailed sketch of Mizuki to her public social media, instead of the Nightcord server.

…and it’s not nearly as disastrous as she’d expected.

Mizuki had been acting… different, lately.

Ena chewed on the end of her pencil, brows furrowed in suspicion.

She had always been the teasing type, but she seemed to have upped the ante as of late. A little wink here, a little smirk there, just a touch more flirty than the usual. And especially with Ena.

The most irritating thing about it was that no one in Nightcord had even noticed the subtle changes in her behaviour – or if they had, they hadn’t said anything, which was even worse!

Maybe she was just being paranoid, or overthinking it… but agh, it was so obvious!! Why wasn’t anyone pointing it out, raising an eyebrow, anything?!

Hell, the other day… all of them were in voice chat and in response to Ena making a comment about how tired her hands were from sketching, and how she wished they would cramp up less, Mizuki had been all “and here I thought you were good with your hands!”

That playful tone, commented with a flirty wink as she rested her chin on her hand, had made Ena’s mouth drop open immediately.

Then, after a brief factory reset, she had complained with a hint of pink in her cheeks, being all “ha ha, very funny!! My hands are actually so sore, the least you could do is appreciate my efforts… and at least I’m meeting my deadlines, unlike you!”

And sure, Mizuki said stuff like that all the time, but – argh!

Ena buried her head in her hands, flushing madly. It was different now, for some reason!! And she just couldn’t put her finger on why exactly!

Well, whatever, Ena huffed to herself.

There was no use thinking so hard about it, and stress was bad for the skin, so unless she wanted to break out she needed her thoughts to shut up.

With a tired sigh, Ena ran a hand through her hair, mussing up the silky brown strands. She attempted to turn her train of thought back to the drawing she was supposed to be working on.

Right, so she had a basic head-and-torso draft here… But, hmmm, maybe she could try using this perspective instead, to highlight the silhouette and make it stand out more…

She erased guidelines and pencilled in soft features, bright eyes and a head tilted just so, a hand raised in the beginnings of a wave, fingers delicately posed.

Ena lost herself in the sketch, pencil strokes filling the page. Absent mindedly, she added a touch of lace there on the skirt, soft lips raised in a hint of a smile, long legs, a cute bow and long-lashed eyes…

A black fineliner captured the details, the way light pink strands cascaded in a ponytail over her shoulder, creamy skin and soft cheekbones, a freckle on her elbow and chipped nail polish on her ring finger…

Before she knew it, the birds outside her window were singing, the sky was starting to lighten outside, and the subject of her thoughts was staring out at her from the page.

Ena nibbled on her lip, frustrated now. Well… at the very least, it had turned out an excellent piece. Considering she saw Mizuki so often, it wasn’t a surprise Ena had captured her essence so perfectly.

Maybe… Eugh, it would no doubt be embarrassing, but it really was such a great sketch…

Before Ena could think too hard about it (her spur-of-the-moment decision likely influenced by the bags under her eyes and lack of sleep in her brain) she was pulling up the camera app on her phone and snapping a photo.

Within a moment, it was uploaded to the Nightcord server.

“Practice sketch!” Ena hurriedly typed after. She couldn’t let Mizuki get a big head, after all. She had just happened to draw her by mistake, it’s not like she had put a lot of effort in or anything!

And with those comforting lies, Ena was out for the count – she hadn’t had caffeine at all in the past six hours, it was a wonder she’d lasted so long really… and she could already feel her eyes starting to droop.

Stretching her arms back and letting out a huge yawn, she stumbled into her bed, barely managing to yank the covers over her head before plummeting into dreamland.

When she awoke, hours later, it was to the sound of loud dinging.

Head still heavy on the pillow and eyes sealed shut with exhaustion, Ena raised an arm and slapped the snooze button on her clock – so sue her, she wanted some more sleep after an all-nighter.

But for some reason, the dinging didn’t stop. Already irritated, Ena managed to sit up in her bed, rubbing at her sandy eyes. God, why wouldn’t it shut up? She was so tired, shit… maybe this was her karma for her terrible sleep schedule…

Blinking bleary eyes, Ena’s vision slowly came into focus, enough for her to recognize her phone vibrating on her desk. She didn’t remember setting an alarm on there… was someone calling her?

Suddenly, Ena felt wide awake, shoving back her covers as she jumped to her feet. Because that dinging… that was her social media notification tone, wasn’t it?

Oh god… was Mizuki annoyed that she had tried drawing her? Did they all hate her sketch or something? Ena didn’t think she’d said anything weird, all she’d done was send the image on the group chat.

Ena grabbed her phone and collapsed into her desk chair, sinking into the soft cushions  with a sense of dread as it unlocked. Huh, it was noon already? Wait- wait a minute, 99+ notifications on her home screen, what the hell?!

All of them read the same way, pretty much. So-and-so liked and commented on her post, which would be fine, except she hadn’t posted on her social media last night.

Wait a second.

Ena’s mind froze, going into overdrive.

There was… there was no way she had accidentally posted that sketch of Mizuki on her social media account, was there? That was insane, out of the damn question, she would never make such a stupid mistake no matter how sleep-addled her brain was!

Please let it be posted to the art account, please let it be posted to the art account, Ena begged to herself. That she could deal with - hardly anyone would see it anyway, she thought bitterly.

Terrified thoughts roaring in her mind, she opened the app, frantically wishing that her internet would load faster, dammit!

And then… it loaded… and Ena sat there, aghast.

Because of all the horrible nightmare scenarios that had been rocketing around her mind, this- this hadn’t even been on the list, it made no sense, it- what the fuck???

Because yeah, she had accidentally uploaded her art on her social media, the one that actually had followers, the one where she posted cute selfies of herself.

Which ordinarily, would be the most humiliating experience ever, as it would probably get like fifty likes and one or two nice comments made out of pity, and Ena would never live it down.

But… her art of Mizuki, which she had posted on her public social media…

It had gone viral. Insanely viral. A level of viral that none of her selfies, although popular, had ever reached.

A shaky, disbelieving smile started to spread across Ena’s face as she read the comment section, filled with praise to the point where it was ridiculous. People… people loved all the small details in her drawing, the care taken with each line, the small additions of colour that really brought life to the sketch…

They’d noticed how much effort she’d put into making Mizuki feel real. In not drawing her as some generic airbrushed cute girl, but depicting her as a living, breathing person.

Ena could hardly believe it. She scrolled and scrolled through the comments, looking for one backhanded compliment, one negative remark, literally anything.

Sure, there were a handful of toxic comments as per usual, but the amount of people responding to those comments and arguing with them, calling them out on their bullshit and cutting them down….

With a jolt, Ena realized tears were prickling in her eyes. She sniffed, rubbing at her eyes with her sleeve and hardly able to believe any of it, smile bright enough to light up the sky, because-

Her dad had been wrong. So, so wrong.

And she’d finally proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt, or so it felt like it. People LOVED her art, they really did! This was proof!

There was just one thing niggling at the back of Ena’s mind, as although all these strangers adoring her art and heaping praise upon it was the best feeling in the world…

Well, there were three people’s opinions that she valued more than any stranger’s.

A lump of anxiety in the back of her throat (but a small, unshakeable smile still on her face despite it), she exited the app and opened up Nightcord.

There were 3 unread messages in their group chat, and… 1 DM from Mizuki.

Steeling herself, Ena opened the group chat first.

10:09 AM

K: @enanan, your drawing of mizuki seems to have really taken off! I’m glad :)

10:32 AM

Yuki: It’s a good sketch. Better than her usual art. I’m not surprised.

10:35 AM

K: I wonder why it was posted at 5am though? perhaps she stayed up all night

K: if you did, hope you’re having a good sleep, ena

K: you deserve it after your hard work

Ena initially felt her smile brighten from Kanade’s kind words – supportive, as always. As she read, her lips twisted at Mafuyu’s backhanded compliment, but oh well… that was practically a standing ovation, coming from her.

Ena typed back a quick appreciative response, not letting Yuki’s snide words slide but still appreciating the compliment overall.

 And then… Mizuki.

Her finger hovered over the chat button, paralysed by indecision. She almost.. didn’t want to know what her best friend thought of her sketch. Everyone else loved it, but- well, what if Mizuki hated it?

What if she was irritated that Ena hadn’t asked first before drawing her, or was annoyed that she hadn’t gotten it quite right? Or angry that she had posted it publicly without asking??

Lost in a turmoil of negative thoughts, Ena didn’t notice her finger accidentally touching the screen and opening the chat. She jolted with surprise, eyes immediately darting to read the screen.

5:32 AM

Amia: :)

Wh- what the hell is that supposed to mean?!?!

All anxiety immediately left Ena’s mind, scowling as she typed back a response.

1:13 PM

Enanan: What the hell is that supposed to mean ?! (╬▔��▔)╯

Just say u love my drawing or say u hate it like a normal person u weirdo

Minutes passed without a response, despite Amia’s status remaining stubbornly bright green and online. What gives?

Ena felt indecision return to her thoughts.

Maybe… shit, she really should have asked first!!

1:20 PM

Enanan: btw sorry I didn’t ask u first or anything, I actually didn’t mean to post it

I was so sleep deprived I accidentally did that instead of sending it to the gc lmao

Ena fidgeted as she sat back in her chair, glancing to where the sketch sat on her desk. It looked the same as it had last night, still maybe one of the best pieces she’d drawn… well, if Mizuki didn’t like it, that was her loss!

Ena huffed to herself, folding her arms. It really didn’t matter that much, it was just a drawing. Maybe she should just go back to sleep, or something…

Then, she heard her phone ding with the Nightcord notification tone, and she instantly grabbed her phone, nearly throttling it in her hands as she willed it to unlocked faster.

1:25 PM

Amia: oh

that makes sense, u would never post ur art to ur selfie acc on purpose

Ena hesitated before responding.

Something felt… off, for some reason.

Mizuki wasn’t using emojis, and maybe it was just the lack of tone indicators but – it felt like she was upset about something.

1:26 PM

Enanan:

well duh!! (ノ｀Д)ノ

still so shocked it blew up like that tho

guess ppl loved the way I drew u lol

Ena typed that last sentence with a sense of boldness, wondering if Mizuki would pick up what she was putting down.

That she had tried really, really hard to capture Mizuki in her element, and that the main reason people loved it was that she had succeeded.

Anyway, she had absolutely no clue what Mizuki was seemingly upset about… hopefully it wasn’t because of her.

1:28 PM

Amia: mmm

congrats on that, ur art’s finally getting loads of attention even tho it was on accident haha

Ena frowned. Okay, now she was sure something was wrong.

1:29 PM

Enanan: hey are u allg?

I might just be overthinking but u sound upset

R u jealous now that I’m famous ♪(´▽｀)

1:30 PM

Amia: you WISH

Just u wait one of my edits is gonna become “that one edit” on tiktok any day now

( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Ena let out a sigh of relief. Okay, phew, maybe Mizuki was just tired or something, or maybe she had been overthinking this entire time.

1:31 PM

Amia: and btw dw, I’m fine

was just surprised ig

1:31 PM

Enanan: surprised at what?

With a shock, Ena realizes something, scrolling up their messages.

Mizuki’s odd tone started after… after Ena had told her posting the drawing publicly had been an accident.

Was she disappointed? Shit, Ena hadn’t meant to like, imply something about her appearance or anything like that, Mizuki was stunning both in-person and within the drawing and she knew it.

…Right?

1:31 PM

Amia: doesn’t matter

ur art rocks

it’s about time ppl noticed :3

Ena didn’t want to assume… maybe she hadn’t even said anything wrong.

Mizuki seemed fine now, so she shouldn’t push it.

1:32 PM

Enanan: since when r u this supportive

ur always saying my art would be nothing w/out ur editing skills (* ￣︿￣)

1:33 PM

Amia: and it would be

the sketch u posted today didn’t need any editing tho

srsly it’s actually so good ^0^

even yuki thought so, that’s how yk it’s genuine lmao

Ena smiled with pride, cheeks flushing. So Mizuki had liked her sketch after all… well, of course she did. Mizuki always liked her art – although she made fun of it too much for Ena’s liking.

1:35 PM

Enanan: stop ur being too nice its weirding me out

ur right abt the yuki part thoo (*￣▽￣*)ブ

and anyways idk what ur on abt, my art is always better w ur editing

yin and yang or whatever

1:36 PM

Amia: look who’s being weirdly nice NOW

1:36 PM

Enanan: TRAITOR

YOU TRICKED ME

u always make me say the stupidest things w/out realizing omfg

1:36 PM

Amia: o(*°▽°*)o

all part of the charm

Ena let out a light laugh as she rolled her eyes, resting her head on her hand.

1:37 PM

Enanan: please, what charm

You’re about as charming as a stink bug (¬_¬ )

1:38 PM

Amia: ur so cruel enaaaaa

can’t believe I’m friends w you（︶^︶）

I gotta say tho, I’m surprised how many details u got right on ur sketch

I mean u even got the freckle on my elbow (=•ω＜=)ρ⌒☆

Ena paused, feeling her cheeks redden. Well that was embarrassing, Mizuki had noticed? Jeez, it wasn’t like it was on purpose…

1:40 PM

Enanan: well what were u expecting, I’m an artist

It’s my job to notice those thingsss

1:41

Amia: sure but like wow, to that extent? surpassed my expectations enanan, didn’t know u were so observant ~(￣▽￣)~*

u even drew my fave ribbon with the fraying on the side, and the exact shade of nail polish I wear ~ impressive!

Ena buried her head in her hands, EXTREMELY regretting the level of detail she’d put into the sketch. Mizuki would never let it go now, ugh… this was humiliating…

1:43 PM

Enanan: keep talking that way and I won’t be sketching u again anytime soon

o(一︿一+)o

1:44 PM

Amia: awww am I embarrassing u

it’s not MY fault u drew me so well

then again the source material  was gorgeous already so it’s not like it could’ve turned out bad in the first place <3

Ena let out a heavy sigh… Mizuki was kind of right, in a way. She was stunning, after all, it’d have been difficult to mess up a drawing with her as the subject.

1:45 PM

Enanan: should’ve known you’d get a big ego from this…

1:45 PM

Amia: you didn’t deny it

:3

1:46 PM

Enanan: …

Stfu ￣へ￣

1:46 PM

Amia: HAHAHA I KNEW IT (≧∇≦)

Ena bit her lip, considering. A small, teasing smile started to creep across her face.

1:46 PM

Enanan: I don’t get why ur surprised honestly

 Ur literally gorgeous

1:49 PM

Amia: ur being sarcastic aren’t u… ur so cruel enanan ~(>_<。)＼

Ena frowned.

1:49 PM

Enanan: no I’m not u dummy

Ur cute and u own it, idk why ur always trying to get me to admit that

1:50 PM

Amia: oh stop being silly, ik ur not being srs

There’s no need to be so mean ( ˘︹˘ )

Ena’s frown deepened. What? Ugh, since when was Mizuki so bad at just taking the compliment?

Then again, it was true that Ena rarely, if ever, complimented her… well, she didn’t state it aloud, anyway. Mizuki always knew what she meant whenever she was being stubborn about admitting something, so there never any need to say the praise out loud.

Had she really never outright given Mizuki praise before? Ena’s brows furrowed.

This was embarrassing, but… she should keep pushing, otherwise she’d feel like a bad friend.

1:51 PM

Enanan: jeez, ur so bad at taking a compliment

my sketch reflected how pretty u are u dummy, I didn’t put so much effort into it just for u to refuse to admit ur cute all of a sudden

Ena waited for a response, feeling her cheeks warm. Why was Mizuki taking so long to respond?

The three dots indicating her friend typing appeared at the beginning of the screen for a few seconds, and then vanished.

Ena raised an eyebrow.

The three dots appeared once more, then… gone.

After what felt like ages, a new message finally popped up.

1:59 PM

Amia: well obviously I know I’m cute, but it took me off guard to hear you say it yourself, enanan (〜￣▽￣)〜 so bold!

2:00 PM

Enanan: idk I just realized I’d never actually told u upfront and I felt like an asshole

jeez, don’t tell me ur getting an even bigger head now…

2:01 PM

Amia: aha, so that’s it! I was wondering why you were being so honest, it’s unlike you

And how can I not get a big head when I’m told how pretty I am by my dear Enanan? ~

O(*￣▽￣*)o

2:01 PM

Enanan: I’m always honest, screw you!!

Ena felt heat spread across her face despite her annoyance, smiling like an idiot. What was all this about “dear Enanan?” Mizuki was so embarrassing, god.

Not seeing her friend typing, she swiped off the app, going to check her social media again.

Ena’s eyes promptly bugged out of her head. IT HAD DOUBLED IN LIKES?! This was insane… at this rate, she wouldn’t be surprised if her friends from her old art class stumbled across it.

She swiped back to her chat with Mizuki, typing out a message.

2:04 PM

Enanan: good god, did u see my social media

It’s blowing up now even more than before

maybe I should draw u more often lmao

2:05 PM

Amia: I did see it, it’s only natural it should blow up so much when I’m the subject :3

as they say in the west, u should draw me like one of ur french girls enanan – bet that would get loads of likes too ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Almost instantaneously, heat blossomed across Ena’s cheeks, and she buried her head in her hands for what felt like the third time in the last fifteen minutes. Mizuki, damn it – how was she not embarrassed, making jokes like that?!

2:07 PM

Enanan: you are incorrigible

2:07 PM

Amia: I don’t know the meaning of the word >:)

Ena let out a laugh, tapping away on her phone.

2:08 PM

Enanan: anyway, last time I checked if I drew you like “one of my french girls” I’d get banned u idiot

2:08 PM

Amia: oh, so if that wasn’t a problem, you’d do it then?

2:10 PM

Enanan: I’m not even going to respond to that

ur the worst

I never see u teasing K or yuki like that (* ￣︿￣)

There was a suspicious silence for a few minutes, while Ena slowly realized something.

Why was it only her that was the subject of Mizuki’s ruthless flirting?

2:15 PM

Amia: why, they’re nowhere near as fun to tease, enanan ♪(´▽｀)

And besides, if I tried flirting with yuki like that, I think I wouldn’t survive it – she’d give me a look so icy-cold I’d freeze 〒▽〒

Well, that made sense… but was that really all there was to it? Ena paused, hesitant.

2:16 PM

Enanan: guess that makes sense

I actually have no idea how kanade would react if u tried that on her

she might just stare at u silently

2:17 PM

Amia: I wouldn’t dare tease kanade like that, I have too much respect for her :3

2:18 PM

Enanan: don’t think I didn’t miss that implication…

what a shame, guess if u don’t respect me I won’t be able to draw u again

2:19 PM

Amia: NONO PLS IM SORRY

2:19 PM

Enanan: nope, too late

ur loss

2:19 PM

Amia: （；´д｀）ゞ

why have u forsaken me..

2:20 PM

Enanan: if u don’t want me to be mean, then don’t insult me to my face!! >:(

2:20 PM

Amia: I take it back… I respect you so, so much enanan, I am but a humble servant before her queen o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

2:20 PM

Enanan: that’s more like it

2:20 PM

Amia: all I can do is kneel before ur throne and kiss ur feet in apology (；′⌒`)

Ena grimaced.

2:21 PM

Enanan: ok ew no need to go that far

2:21 PM

Amia: well, perhaps in apology I could kiss somewhere else then (○｀ 3′○)

Almost instantaneously, heat spread like a rash across her cheeks. God, Ena didn’t know how much more of this she could take.

2:21 Pm

Enanan: I am actually going to scalp you

2:21 PM

Amia: …on the cheek, of course!

gosh, ur so dirty minded! :0

Flushing, Ena bit her lip in hesitation, before finally addressing the elephant in the room that only appeared to be visible to her.

2:22 PM

Enanan: okay seriously, what is it with the teasing?? (╬▔皿▔)╯

I swear ur doing it way more than u used to

and the others don’t even notice for some reason- literally why?!

2:22 PM

Amia: I already told u why! It’s fun :3

2:23 PM

Enanan: what, do u just love flustering me or smth?? Is that ur idea of fun ( ˘︹˘ )

For some reason, after that, Mizuki stopped responding for a while. Ena fully thought her friend had gone to eat lunch or something, and turned back to her sketch.

Then, after what felt like ages, her phone pinged.

2:59 PM

Amia: maybe

I mean, I didn’t realize u got so flustered purely by my silly teasing (╯▽╰ )

Fuck!!

Ena shoved her sketchbook to the side, grip tightening on her phone. Her cheeks felt hot all of a sudden, as she realized that Mizuki had no idea that her flirting had been having such an effect on her.

And now she knew just how flustered she’d been!! Ena grimaced- this was humiliating. She instantly went into damage control mode.

2:59 PM

Enanan: I don’t get that flustered, don’t flatter urself ( ˘︹˘ )

I get like… idk

The normal amount of flustered

whatever that is

Ena worried at her lip, anxiety making her throat feel tight. That response was fine, right? Mizuki wasn’t going to think she was weird, was she?

Her eyes didn’t stray from the three dots bouncing on the bottom of the screen, finally relenting when a message came through.

3:02 PM

Amia: real slick ena <3

ur not falling for me are u (=•ω＜=)ρ⌒☆

Mizuki had completely gotten the wrong idea, how embarrassing!! Jeez, there was no coming back from this one… Humiliated, Ena tried to swallow down the lump in her throat, and with a jolt, realized that tears were starting to well up in her eyes.

She was… she was a bit too invested. Why did she care so much about this? Why did she feel so damn anxious? It was embarrassing, but- but not that embarrassing.

Ena leaned back in her chair as she pushed her phone away, hands fisted tightly in her skirt. Her gaze was heavy as it rested on the floor. Her thoughts began to unravel like a ball of thread.

There was no way Mizuki’s joke just now was true, was there? Ena’s deathgrip on her skirt tightened. That was silly, there was just no way- like sure, she cared about her, Mizuki was her best friend after all, but falling for her? Pfft.

Plus, Ena wasn’t gay. She hadn’t really had any crushes on guys before, but that was normal, wasn’t it? She hadn’t liked any girls either, so it evened out.

She was straight, she always had been, jeez. Mizuki was just making some stupid joke.

So why was Ena… why was she close to tears? Her lip was nearly being worried to pieces, humiliation spreading in scarlet across her cheeks, and all the while her heart, it- it hurt.

She felt physical pain in her chest, along with a sense of despair. Ena let out a heavy sob, and then another one, breath starting to come faster.

She- god, she really did like Mizuki, didn’t she. She liked her best friend.

Which meant she was one of them, and that she was… hell, she was practically a pervert. Disgusting. She let out a choked cry, fingers digging into her arms.

They were such close friends, fuck, had Ena been creeping on her this entire time? She was- she was disgusting, sickening, and such an awful person- why was Mizuki even friends with her? She definitely wouldn’t be after this mess.

Mizuki was going to find out the truth, and then she was going to lose her. Slowly but surely, tears started to trickle down Ena’s cheeks, as her arms came up, cradling her head as she rocked back and forth.

What was she going to do?

In the midst of a breakdown, she barely heard the buzz of her phone. She scrabbled at her desk for it, grabbing it and pulling it to her chest as her eyes frantically scanned the screen.

3:15 PM

Amia: enaaaaa where did u go 💔

when I said falling I didn’t mean literally fall, did u lose consciousness lmao

Ena let out a strangled sound that was half-sob, half-laughter. She scrubbed at her tears with her sleeve, watching as her best friend continued to type.

3:16 PM

Amia: or is it true that u have fallen for me after all ~(￣▽￣)~*

wow maybe ur so in love that u fainted after seeing my message

well my dear enanan, just say the word and we can elope togetherヽ(￣ω￣(￣ω￣〃)ゝ

Maybe… maybe Mizuki wouldn’t be as disgusted as she’d thought. She’d always been open-minded, after all.

Ena’s nails dug into her skin, as she squeezed her eyes tight shut, trying to get the pain to distract her from her stupid, stupid thoughts. That was ridiculous, she had to play it safe. She couldn’t risk it.

How to respond, how to respond…

3:18 PM

Enanan:  please, I wouldn’t marry you even if u held a gun to my head

you’d probably try to make me do all the chores and spend all your time sewing

3:18 PM

Amia: I’m not hearing a no! (*￣▽￣*)

and wow, u wound me… if anything, you’d make me do all the work and spend ur time preening in front of a mirror like a peacock! :3

Ena let out a stunned snort, a watery smile returning to her face. Mizuki wasn’t wrong.

3:19 PM

Enanan: well, even if we eloped I doubt ur the romantic type

I’d probably divorce u within a week bc you’d love ur outfit mannequin more than me

￣へ￣

3:19 PM

Amia: lies and slander!!

I would be SO romantic

3:19 PM

Enanan: yeah right

3:19 PM

Amia: well, that’s rich coming from u considering I was able to fluster u with my teasing (★ ω ★)

3:20 PM

Enanan: that’s different

3:20 PM

Amia: how exactly? :3

Ena clenched her jaw, frustrated. God, why was Mizuki pushing this subject so much? Why couldn’t they just move on and forget all of that had ever happened?

3:20 PM

Enanan: it just is

Ur my best friend it makes sense that you’d tease me like that, even if it drives me insane(╬▔皿▔)╯

3:20 PM

Amia: enaaaaa ur so dense

I’m not teasing u like that just bc ur my best friend

( ˘︹˘ )

What was Mizuki on about now? Ena knew the teasing wasn’t because “she had funny reactions,” there were plenty of people Mizuki could tease if that was the case, so why her?

3:21 PM

Enanan: well then why

Just be honest u dunce >:(

3:21 PM

Amia: u want me to be honest?

idk if I can be :>

maybe first u should be honest about why my teasing flusters u so much

Slowly, Ena’s eyes widened, static filling her head. What the hell. What the actual hell was this. Did Mizuki know?

Had Mizuki known the whole time, even though Ena had only realized a few minutes ago?

With dawning realization, she scrolled back up and reread her friend’s messages, but this time in a different light.

Mizuki… Mizuki couldn’t be honest about why she was teasing her, just like how Ena couldn’t be honest about why the teasing had flustered her. Did that mean…?

She took the leap, fingers shaking slightly.

3:23 PM

Enanan: mizuki

be honest rn

yk I won’t judge u for anything

If Ena was right, the situation was very, very mixed. Because on one hand, they’d both like eachother… like that… and the sheer idea had vicious butterflies attacking her stomach.

But on the other, it would mean Ena liked girls.

And she- she didn’t really know what to think about that. Or even where to begin thinking about that.

There was silence from Mizuki for a while, as she waited with bated breath. It was the longest twenty minutes of Ena’s life.

Her heart jumped in her throat as she finally saw that her friend was typing. Come on, come on… she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this high-strung. Then the typing animation disappeared, and she slumped.

And after a twenty agonizing minutes that seemed to drag on for hours, she glared at her screen. Because Mizuki’s icon had changed to the little grey circle that indicated she was offline.

What the fuck?! Ena finally had the courage to make a move, hating herself all the while, and this was all she got?!

Fuming, she tossed her phone to the side, letting out a frustrated sound. She had given her the perfect opening! The stage was set, for god’s sake!

Maybe… shit, what if she’d misread the situation completely? Did Mizuki think she was weird? Was that why she was being ghosted?

Ena was sick of this. She needed to do something, anything, or she was going to lose it. Her eyes scanned her room, searching for a distraction.

Maybe she could try out a new makeup look? Try and style that pink skirt that was stubbornly refusing to pair with her other clothes? Or…

Her stomach grumbled, obnoxiously loudly, and she rolled her eyes. Okay, maybe should take care of her basic bodily functions first.

Everything else could wait.

And if Mizuki didn’t text back by nightfall, she was going to break into her stupidly pretty best friend’s house and force her at knifepoint to type out a response.

(Might add another chap to this if I get around to it lol)

[jjmorelikeotp]

Okay so I am watching BTVS for the first time in my life & I'm currently on season 6 E 14, and one thing I really really love is how Spike is just so...comitted.

With Angel, I personally had the feeling he was grieving the person he could be, all sad and sappy in his misery that kinda clung around him all the time (ik we're calling spike a drama queen but. THAT MAN? Depressed himbo vibes. No offense.) Even though he had a soul, there was this feeling of self pity in him - and it makes sense considering the fact he probably knew that one true moment of happiness would turn him back into a monster, and that is rly depressing tbh.

Does not change the fact that Buffy being underage when being with him is totally absurd and predatory, there, I said it.

He is kind of the big scary monster guy and sometimes she does seem like a normal 16 year old, and by that, naive or simply, young.

It made me feel like she was prey, not gonna lie.

It is what stopped him from truly comitting to Buffy. I mean yeah, their love was pure and they definetely are soulmates in some way. They truly affected each other's fate.

But this is where Spike is different than Angel as well. He is truly COMITTED to what he's doing, he is all in for buffy. Like, the way he offers to make money for her when she needs it? That offer is NOT a deal-kind-of-offer. He truly wants to help her and it is so casually because he already is in full partner mode, in whatever way she needs. Offering comfort when she has to work a double shift (yeah by fucking outside, mkay, just the spuffy way ig) like that because he is actually afraid she will lose her sanity? Even though they drive each other insane? Yeah these scenes are not talked about enough.

In that same scenario, Angel never even would have showed up. He would have waited in front of the building after Buffy ended her shift, maybe. He never even offered to be in her life like that, while both of them found a million excuses for it. But Spike does not. He just simply does stuff that COULD be the solution if he ever even thought of them being a problem.

And I think that is also why he's so pissed about Buffy going on and off about him - to Angel, she seemed so comitted, but to him, he just does not seem to be able to.

And again, it make sense, but I also think we don't talk enough about the fact that Buffy did indeed kill Angel, when it wasn't even necessary as in "he was soulless and a monster" anymore. Even though she loved him. But only when she had a really really good reason/purpose.

So one thing that might be also pushing her away from spike is the thought of having to do that again, and desperately trying to find the purpose without being able to.

He makes her choose wether she wants to be the prey or the hunter in this. On purpose. To show her her options and her power because she never really got to experience both sides / perspectives with Angel OR Riley.

So while she tries to figure out 1. Her reason why she should kill him (which should be a very very valid one so she can bring up the power to do so) 2. Her life's purpose in general, he just ... delivers purpose, not to her, but as in, her being the purpose. That's what he acts like and That's what she can't handle. Yes, she is the reason he is trying to change, but also, he puts her in the Position of being the purpose of him doing that.

Showing her the self responsibility and ability to be her own purpose and make her own decisions. (After her friends all kind of screwed up that kind of SELF responsibility.) He really does man up in this show, and like I said, these are just my thoughts watching it for the first time (did not see angel the series yet).

He is also holding her accountable even though he has a soft spot for her, and she is not used to that. She treats him like a man, yes, but he treats her like an equal as well and always has. She is used being looked down upon by adults or the council, enemies, blablablah, also her friends who "saved" her earlier this season, or being the superslayer hero and leader who has to do everything. She is always in positions. Even with angel, she was, it kind of stopped when they broke up but even then, he treats her like she does not know SHIT. Something is standing between them and always has been, and while Angel kind of used that as an excuse to keep distant and keep their walls up, Spike uses these exact walls as a reason or challenge to tear them down. Spike never acts like things are not his fault even if they are horrible, he just simply accepts his dark side while still having a normal one, with passions on tv and card games and whatever. He *subconciously* takes responsibility even before having a soul, for stuff he did, he doesn't blame his vampire side or whatever for it.

I think in subtext, Buffy always had a slight commitment to angel, as in "maybe, one day, it can still happen" while angel cut off all those hopes for himself (not his desires, maybe. But his ... solution oriented search or smth) as we can see when he visits her at her mom's funeral.

And one other reason why Buffy is so terrified of that whole Spike thing is because it makes her stop that hope for angel or resolve that feeling of being owned by (her feelings for) him.

And don't get me wrong, Spike is kinda possessive too, but as I see it he is trying to commit to a relationship where she can own herself and that is what terrifies her truly.

(That's what we see him do with drusilla from the beginning)

You understand what I mean? If you got thoughts on it let me know!

[primreaperstuff]

I just had a thought: Everybody seems to be assuming that the Society of the Blind Eye (SBE) Dippers and Mabels in the Book of Bill were created during that summer. But what if they actually were what happened had Dipper taken that internship with Ford? I got the idea because the guys in the hoods look a good deal taller than the other Dippers and Mabels. I mean, it could just be the perspective, but I thought they looked like they might've gotten the chance to grow a bit more than the others. If you assume Left Hood is Mabel, (based off of their nose possibly being the same color as the rest of their face), it's also possible that she's lasted long enough in one timeline to get her braces off.

Alex Hirsch has said that Ford would've made the same mistakes with Dipper that he did with Fiddleford McGucket, so Dipper the Intern would've eventually ended up going insane like McGucket did. And McGucket originally founded the SBE as a direct consequence of Ford's bullshit. (Sorry Ford baby, I do love you-- but you are completely unfit to raise a technically-teenage boy full-time!)

I wouldn't put it past a traumatized older Dipper to figure out how to rebuild the memory gun (or maybe it never got destroyed in the first place?). At first he was just hoping to be able to sleep again but it takes its toll on his mind after awhile and he unwittingly ends up recreating the SBE (perhaps because he doesn't remember it-- or doesn't remember how bad it really was for people). Or alternatively, Ford, having been enabled for years by somebody who either can't or won't tell him no, proposes a truly horrible idea that even Dipper can't go along with. Dipper resorts to trying to wipe Ford's memory of the idea to ensure he never acts on it, but it fails and permanently ruins the relationship. Dipper is ashamed, alone, and afraid, so he uses the gun on himself so those bad memories of failure don't stop him from stopping Ford. It snowballs into repeated uses of the gun (turns out that forgetting what you're afraid of means forgetting why you don't use the gun more often!) until the poor guy can't bring himself to do anything in public without it. Dipper has enough perfectionist tendencies that, if something caused him to go off the rails, I could see him constantly using the memory gun to redo his interactions with people until they go exactly the way he's decided they're supposed to.

The dark path for Mabel would be worse in some ways. Imagine that this is a world where Mabel encouraged Dipper to take the internship instead of getting upset about it. Maybe she even unwittingly pressured him into accepting it when he was going to turn it down, because she thought it would be awesome for him, only to get hit with the horrible reality when the next summer rolls around and he's obviously Not Okay. She feels partially responsible and wishes he never had to experience any of the terrible stuff he alludes to, and that leads her to remaking/refinding the memory gun as the next best thing to making the bad things unhappen. Of course Ford figures out what she's done quickly, so she tried to use it on him to make him forget that internships and memory guns exist. It doesn't work and they get into a big nasty fight. Later Soos pops in to ask how things are going after some horrible event that Dipper no longer remembers, causing Dipper to regain his memory of the incident, so Mabel uses the gun on Soos and Dipper. Ford is angry, so Mabel bolts and hides from him, using the gun to prevent other people from reporting her whereabouts to him (and later McGucket, because you can bet Ford told him all about this).

It all spirals from there-- the key being that Mabel never uses the gun on herself because she's fully aware of how bad it is for people. She knows the SBE was bad, but reasons that it was bad because it was lead astray by the selfishness of people like Bud Gleeful rather than the fact that it existed to control people and dodge taking responsibility for anything. She self-rationalizes that PTSD and people actively seeking out monsters would be worse than the effects of the gun. Later she adds the rationalization that she's done it so often that there's no point in stopping because it would only mean that her targets would have to deal with both their trauma and the bad effects of the gun.

Either way, Gravity Falls ends up becoming like Lovecraft town where it's all nice-looking and stuff but you don't linger, go off the beaten path, or ask questions, lest you end up getting stuck there permanently like the Pines family. Just deliver the packages and go the fuck home before the sun comes down.

(Fuck, I forgot about the metal plate in Ford's head. Edited to account for that.)

[incesthemes]

ok tumblr deleted most of my tag essay on this post, so i've recreated and expanded upon it in its own post.

so the op of the post made a great point which really touched on why i've been feeling that i had a fundamentally different takeaway of season 9 compared to the rest of the fandom. i have a lot to say in response to this, not in argument but in support and synthesis of it.

i'll start with dean at the beginning of season 9: he has a great struggle in 901 regarding gadreel possessing sam, more so than any other struggle he's faced when saving sam's life, which points to me as him being aware of and conflicted about sam's history of possession. he understands this is crossing a line because it's similar to lucifer and meg, and so accepting gadreel's deal is violating sam to a length dean hasn't gone to before. dean by and large is the one who has this particular ethical problem (shown throughout the first half of season 9), not sam. hell, dean is the one who leaves sam once gadreel's out, without even waiting for input because his self-loathing is that strong.

sam, on the other hand, is more textually concerned in his 912/913 arguments with the lack of trust ("i can't trust you, not the way i thought i could") and dean's selfishness ("you did it for you"). this is an ongoing conflict sam has with dean, since the beginning of the show. dean doesn't trust sam to make his own decisions and therefore makes them for him, without sam's consent or knowledge. sam wants to be trusted to stand on his own, and he wants dean to put the same faith in him that he puts in dean. this is the core of sam's needs; the violation of autonomy is just an externalization of these needs and this conflict.

and i don't entirely disagree with the connection between going behind sam's back to keep him alive against his will and a rape narrative. both involve a lack of consent and a violation of agency. however, it really doesn't stop there, and it's a lot more complex than that.

and that's what rubs me wrong about more common interpretations of season 9 that i've seen. because this isn't really what the season is about. this violation on its own isn't the point. or if it is on the surface, it's equally about sam lying to himself about what it's actually about. he's consistently left out of major decisions regarding his own life and then lied to about it "for his own good," and he wants the right to choose his own path.

except, as we learn, that's not true. he lied about it. because the point of the whole season is that sam and dean are the same. they will make the same decisions to save each other over and over again. the point of the whole season is that sam has been lying to himself.

i said this in another post, but i think a big reason sam was able to lie to himself about this fact is because he's had the opportunity to let dean go on several occasions. he's been unable to save dean the way dean has saved sam. he fails where dean succeeds. sam has been forced to endure a grief that dean has never had to experience because dean always brings sam back. and so because sam has endured these experiences maybe he's more comfortable letting dean choose death in the abstract—the hypothetical. but in reality when it comes to that point, sam can't actually follow through, because he's just as dependent on dean being there for him as dean is dependent on sam.

and that's what season 9 is about. sam has been lying to himself about this reality from the start. this is why 1019 parallels 311 regarding how insane sam is about dean. it's reiterating the facts we've known but with a new perspective, now that sam is done deluding himself. he needs to accept that he was lying to himself and to dean, and this is what allows season 9 to close and for season 10 to begin, because season 10 is a response to sam's realization. he chooses dean over everything else in a monumental display of hypocrisy and genuine understanding of himself and who dean is to him.

seasons 8-10 should be taken as a single, cohesive unit, and the show goes to great lengths to enforce this. season 9 mirrors season 8, and season 10 acts as a response to and therefore a continuation of season 9. you can see this in the way charlie's death mirrors kevin's (one brother's lies and deceptions leads to increasing stakes that could have been avoided through honesty and openness, which culminates in the death of their beloved ally, and the deceptive brother blames himself for that death because his own unethical actions led to it), or how both of them undergo a change in their physiology as a result of godlike power entering their bodies which mutilate them from the inside and have fatal consequences (sam with the trials, dean with the mark of cain) which can only reasonably be resolved with their deaths (and they both even enter the final stages of this conflict by going to confession). also the plot structures of seasons 8 and 9 on their own mirror each other very closely.

this is all very important because it outlines the purpose of each of these two seasons. it's about them being fundamentally betrayed by their brother, causing that brother to become desperate and feel rejected and unloved, only for them to get what they need out of each other to reaffirm their love. they have to function as a unit, because otherwise both season's primary conflicts (as in, the conflicts established in the first half of each season) are left unresolved. instead, sam gets what he needs from dean in 823, which means that in return dean gets what he needs from sam in 923, thus closing the circle that was opened in 801.

dean reaffirmed that sam is the most important person in the world to him in sacrifice, that he would choose sam over every single other person on earth—this is what sam needed to hear, because it's the foundation of the conflict in season 8, since sam thinks dean chose benny over him and this sent him spiraling into a suicidal depression and self-loathing. so season 9, consequentially, is about dean getting what he needs from sam: he needs to know that sam will do anything in his power to save dean, which is a conflict that began in season 8 (with sam not searching for dean in purgatory) and is reasserted in 913 when sam tells him that he wouldn't violate his agency if the situations were reversed.

and this is exactly what dean gets in 923, when sam says he lied about all of that. dean gets the affirmation that sam's love for dean goes beyond petty ethics, which translates to "dean is more important to sam than anything else in the world" where the "anything else" includes sam's own moral boundaries. this is important to dean because dean eschews his own moral boundaries for sam's sake and safety over and over again throughout the series, and this is a major source of his own character development (see: 122, 203, 214, 222, et cetera et cetera). sam repeatedly denies that he's the same way, and has proven at least once that he wouldn't do the same, so this is an important affirmation for sam to give and it's why dean had spiraled into a suicidal depression and self-loathing (look, another parallel).

so season 8-9 are mirrors of each other, and they have to be mirrors of each other in order to work structurally and for any of the conflicts presented to be resolved. season 10 then is a response to this which shows the consequences of those dual resolutions: aka, sam acts just as unethically as dean does in the rest of the show, except this time knowingly and intentionally instead of subconsciously as he has been doing up to now (see: 1001, 1003, 1004, 1018, 1020, et cetera et cetera).

in order for all of this to work, the conflicts in season 8 and season 9 have to be equal. i.e. dean has to violate sam and his ethics as badly as sam violated dean and his ethics. it also has to be suitably Bad because it's revisiting a conflict that's existed in various iterations across the entire show. this is why it's also deeply important that 923 dean's death also parallels 222 sam's death, because it highlights how this conflict has always existed and how sam and dean are similar to each other. they both make the same choices under pressure and go to equally unethical lengths. which is why season 9 couldn't end until crowley told the audience that sam was trying to make a deal with him to bring dean back to life, specifically after dean begged sam to let him die. the point, then, was never about the violation itself: sam disregards dean's right to choose death just as much as dean disregards it. the season is about how sam and dean are at their cores the same, and it's about sam becoming aware of that reality and then actively, consciously choosing it. which is what sam reiterates across season 10, as a response to his choice in 923.

he only realizes that this is a Bad Thing in 1101 (i.e. after the response has run its course) when he says they both have to change. and the "both" is important because they are the same, fundamentally. sam isn't innocent of this violation of agency and obsessive deception of his brother, and he needs to understand that before actionable change can be made, which is what season 10 is all about.

and there's something poignant that can be said about 1023 being titled "brother's keeper," because this episode is about sam playing the role of brother's keeper, only for it to blow up so spectacularly in their faces that it causes the apocalypse 2.0. it forces sam to recognize that his original conclusion (that dean was right, and that he was lying) was not actually the correct and moral way to continue living. the significance of 1101 only reveals itself in the foundation laid by seasons 8-10, because these are the seasons about sam discovering just how down bad he is for his brother and accepting it wholeheartedly. season 11 then seeks to fix what seasons 8-10 broke, which is of course the entire fucking planet.

and this is the problem: the first apocalypse was caused by the absence of love, and the second was caused by too much love. their love is a destructive force that has world-ending consequences. that's the point of these seasons, what it all comes back to. in receiving the exact type and strength of love they needed from each other, they ended the world. and this is the conflict they need to resolve in season 11, or at least try to. because their love for each other can, has, and will destroy the world, over and over and over again. this theme can't exist unless seasons 8 and 9 mirror each other, unless season 9 is about sam's hypocrisy.

without that world-ending love, they couldn't have started the second apocalypse. if sam weren't a liar, he would have respected dean's choices, and he would have let dean die. if sam truly cared about bodily autonomy, dean would have died in 923 when he begged sam to let him. but he doesn't; that's not the point of the narrative. of course the violation of autonomy is important, because it provides the foundation for the conflict. but the violation is itself a metaphor, a triple whammy of symbolism: the possession is a metaphor for violation, and the violation is a metaphor for betrayal (as seen through the lens of deception).

the point of season 9 is not that dean metaphorically raped his helpless little brother; rather it's that the violation of agency goes both ways, and sam is a hypocrite for trying to maintain his autonomy while stripping it from dean. it's a continuation of season 8, which thus compacts his guilt over "abandoning" dean in purgatory and his self-loathing and fears of not being good enough or worthy enough of dean's love, which thus causes him to act recklessly and injuriously toward himself and dean. it's not a positive conclusion by any means; like i said, this is what causes the second apocalypse, and it's only after they've ended the world twice that sam finally sits down and says maybe they were wrong about this whole thing. maybe their love is too destructive.

in 912, sam says: "something's broken here [...] we don't see things the same way anymore."

in 1101, sam says: "this isn't on you. it's on us. we have to change."

sam goes from blaming dean to blaming both of them, because he realizes that they're both equal partners in their toxic, fucked up love. season 8 and season 9 allowed them to become equals by giving each other the affirmations they desperately needed to achieve true enmeshment, and season 10 is the consequence of that unhealthy relationship.

the point was never that dean violated sam. he does that over and over again throughout the series without destroying their relationship. the point is that sam is willing to violate dean all the same, and he had to face that reality head-on and accept it to resolve the conflict between them and give dean the affirmation he needed, just like dean gave sam the affirmation he needed in 823. the violation was simply a vehicle through which the conflict could come to a head, and the most provocative symbol this show could possibly use was the metaphor of sexual assault and rape, given sam's history with it via meg and especially via lucifer.

i've probably written enough now. the tl;dr is that season 9 invokes what can be interpreted as a rape metaphor not to vilify dean or even really to continue sam's ongoing rape narrative (though the violation that occurs in season 9 uses this as a foundation for the conflict and that's important to understanding the gravity of the situation), but rather to give appropriate stakes to mirror the primary conflict of season 8 and provide grounds for dean to get resolution for the conflict that began in 801 and continued through 923. god i hope this makes sense because now i've written this essay twice and i'm so miserable because of it.

my apologies if any of this is repetitive or meandering or lacking in any way; i tried really really hard to recreate my original essay and also provide more evidence and groundwork for my argument but obviously i'm sure i've missed some details and overlooked structure in many places. if you read this far, i love you and please talk to me about seasons 8-10. i'm losing my mind

[crazilust]

My Impressions on the Signs vs how I used to see them (part 1)

as i’ve met tons of different people this year and I’m approaching my 25th year and I feel like I’m becoming this completely new person (and honestly feeling a bit like i’m going insane) these are my new and reformed opinions on the zodiac!

1. Cancer

How I used to see them:

I used to see them as complete cry babies, which is not a shock because it’s stereotypically what we associate with Cancers, in general. More than that, I used to think they would often use their emotions as weapons and be overly sensitive. As an Aries sun with lots of Mars dominance, I had never gotten closer to a Cancer because I simply couldn’t deal with the constant flow of emotions.

How I see them now:

I still see them as very sensitive, but now I am more careful with my words because I’ve realized how fragile their self esteem can be. As the years went on, I was able to form meaningful relationships with Cancers and most of them had a really fragile self esteem. They’re not just sensitive for the sake of it, as it turns out lmao, but because they’re already pretty critical of themselves. Another thing, I’ve also met more developed Cancers and man, they are some of the most self assured, bad ass individuals. Very inspiring, if you ask me. Lots of ambition and would be great leaders imo.

My favorite “Cancer” placement : It has to be rising. Very lowkey, reserved individuals, but man when they care about you, they care about you very deeply. Again, very sensitive but I’m more cautious of it now.

2. Virgo

How I used to see them: I was always a very big fan of virgo. I lack earth element in my chart and Virgos used to be my favorite earth placement to hang out with. My best friend was a virgo, I had a virgo boyfriend. I just loved their dependability, their work ethic (which is something I value and admire in someone) and I always found them to be so.. perfect!

How I see them now: As time passed, I had some fall out with some Virgos and it was mostly because I realized that what they said about themselves didn’t really match the actions they did. It’s easy to say you hate messy people, but then how come you’re always in dramas? I’ve realized how much I had idealized Virgos and put them on this pedestal. I’m not saying Virgos are bad friends or anything like that, but in my experience, it was good to humanize them a bit and realize that this whole perfection persona was simply a facade I had fallen for.

My favorite “Virgo” placement: The sun, for sure. Even though I have way less virgos in my life, Virgo suns will remain my favorite of them all. Bonus: they’re hilarious.

3. Sagittarius

How I used to see them: Another one of my favorite: Sagittarius. From literal birth, I’ve been surrounded by Sags. Again, as an Aries, I feel like Sag and us just get together easily and it’s a lot of fun. But, just as I had a lot of fun with them, I always felt like I couldn’t quite get to know them, that they were quite non-comittal and with very big egos. It created a lot of friction in pretty much all of my relationships with Sags and most of the Sags I knew, we had a fallout. It’s like it was best if we stayed friends from a distance, because whenever we would get closer, we would hurt eachother. The main thing would be that we both wouldn’t feel enough love from one another.

How I see them now: So, I’ve dated a Sag this year and he’s the one that changed my whole perspective on them. I mean, it hasn’t changed that much, but it made me understand the blind spots I had with them. First of all, I hadn’t realized how sensitive a Sag is. Now before you go all “Naaah, Sags don’t gaf about anything and no one”. Sure. But also, false. They care. Alot. They have the biggest of hearts. But their defense mecanism? Carelessness. Nonchalance. “It is what it is” might just be tattooed on the inside of their eyelids because they live by that. And by dating this man, I realized that it was, in fact, a defense mecanism. To cope with the fact that he was hurt. And scared. Also, they put a unhealthy amount of pressure on themselves to succeed. Hadn’t realized that either. Another thing, some of them are incredibly lonely, while being popular… When I was younger, I really couldn’t understand the whole “Wise teacher” archetype of the sagittarius. But I get it now. Because some of them are truly alone and scared and in need of answers, and in order to have those, you have to go down that road alone. And become this wise sage. Not sure if I’m making any sense, but you got this, Sags!

My favorite “Sag” placement: Again, has to be sun. Although, I’m starting to be very fond of Sag moons. Like a less chaotic (or the chaos is more hidden) version of Sag sun.

4. Gemini

How I used to see them: I always had a lot of Gemini friends, because whenever there’s a Gemini, I’m gonna be attracted by them (only platonically though, weirdly enough never had a crush on a Gemini and I had lots of crushes). I used to think there were two kinds of Gemini: the lowkey, overthinker, kinda silent weird kid that everybody either loved or didn’t care for and the stereotypically loud, fun, crazy popular Gemini. I was friends with both of these kinds, but as it turns out, our friendship was never longer than 2 years, and if it was, it was never close friendships, just mostly acquaintances. I never really cared for the “two faced” stereotypes as I feel like some signs are way more fake than Gemini. But I did feel like there was a part of them that was hard to reach/see.

How I see them now: I’m kinda realizing that there’s no “two kind of Geminis” but that every Gemini has those two kind inside of them (Which is pretty obvious to anyone since they are the Twin archetype but listen, bare with meeeee, will ya). Some of them decide to put on the popular, loud, crazy kid persona and other decide to be more in their head, introverted but quite intelligent. Oh, another thing I hadn’t realized! They usually switch that persona based on people-pleasing tendencies. Hadn’t realized that all that overthinking could result, for some of them, in people pleasing tendencies. I always thought they didn’t care about that, but oh boy, they do. They love to feel included even if it means, bending their own backs sometimes. I’m growing very fond of them.

My favorite “Gemini” placement: I have quite a few. Sun, obviously. But I also love me a Gemini moon and rising. Esp rising. I find them very fun, and entertaining and they bring out the more chaotic side of me which I just love. I wish they would just be more accepting of themselves, just like they make me feel!

[rottentoto]

…I was thinking about the Drew vs Damian feud and my current theory is, the cause of this feud was Drew losing his sanity.

I mean, he’s been saying “there’s nothing left for me” expect assaulting Damian. I think he literally means that.

As he lost his final chance to confirm his spot in WM card at EC, there was high possibility he cannot be there this year. If it happens, Drew is forced to see all his enemies are taking spots at the biggest stage while he just stays home and has nothing to do.

(Technically the triple threat wasn’t scheduled yet at that time, but considering about what happened at RR and how big their names are, he could sense they will have a match.)

His already severely damaged mental cannot take that “disrespect.” (Besides, considering about how he is hated by his peers now, everyone will definitely make fun of him with that. How can he put himself through it?)

I think he decided to attack Damian to somehow at least have a match at WM, so that he can say “I had something else to deal with.” It was a desperate act. The true meaning of his words were “there’s nothing left for me (to stay sane).” (He could be even unconscious with that.)

Then, what about the reaction from Damian? He hasn’t spoken a lot, but just has been on “kill on sight” mode. Instead of speaking and convincing, he went physical immediately.

I think it’s simply his street grown survival instincts kicking in. As Drew is large and powerful enough, he is threatening even for Damian who is also really strong on his own. It’s not surprising when Drew’s first assault triggered the survival mode in him.

From Damian’s perspective, it’s quite obvious that’s not his fault, because everything Drew said was not him doing something bad.

He surely cashed in on Drew, and eliminated him at RR and EC, but they are the nature of the stipulations. If he has issues with them, he should go speak to the managements who adopt these rules.

For the results of CatC and MitB, they are not on Damian, too. Actually he was the one who wanted fair matches, but continuously got interfered by others against his will. If Drew has issues with them, he should at least go to Punk because he was the one who wasn’t supposed to be there. Damian got benefits from these events, but he never wanted nor asked them.

So, for Damian, Drew’s complainants don’t make sense at all. And thinking about Drew’s actions in these months, he may have thought it’s no use to speak any sense in Drew at this point. (I think Damian’s experience as a club guard also tells him that it’s better to just go physical instead of speaking.)

…Also, Damian might be thinking it may bring him a match at WM. Everyone wants to be at mania card, so it’s not surprising if Damian thought “OK, I’ll take this to WM. It should feel good when I beat this idiot at the grand stage of all.” (Though I’m a bit skeptical about this, as I don’t think Damian’s survival mode includes that type of strategic feature.)

(Btw, there’s another thing I noticed. Damian just uses the word “kill” as “beat the hell out”, not the literal meaning. He said he will kill Drew every week, but it’s physically impossible if he literally does that. In other words, Damian expects Drew to be there every week.)

…With these thinking I think there’s some possibilities that Drew goes completely insane if he loses at WM… Idk, at least I want their match to be fun enough.

[quirkle2]

what do you think the zombie au would be like if characters had their canon psychic powers?

oohh that's a good one,, i think it'd go 1 of 3 ways:

one:

mob never becomes a zombie at all, due to his powers kicking in to protect himself. he can put up a barrier and he's entirely safe from zombies. but this one's kinda lame

two:

zombie mob remains the same as the normal au but his psychic powers are an added bonus (read: hazard.) ritsu would have to deal with ,,, a Lot more than what he has to in the base au; everything zombie!mob dishes out + whatever his psychic powers decide to do that day. this, too, could go 1 of 2 ways:

since the disease slows down a lot of brain function—i'm taking inspo from that "humans only use like 2% of their brain and we can actually do crazy shit" concept that i hear about sometimes—i'm inclined to belief that his powers would be incredibly weakened But Also incredibly uncontrolled. mob's powers "incredibly weakened" are still kind of insane, so ritsu still has to deal with a lot of outbursts. this has Consequences, obviously, but it makes it worse if you consider a change to the au where their backstory is like canon, and ritsu was still hurt by mob's powers when they were younger. now ritsu has two reasons to fear his brother: psychic powers, and he's a zombie now. just makes his determination to stay with his brother all the more heart,,, warming? wrenching?

either that, or we ignore that humans-use-2%-of-our-brains bit and we go with a different approach: now that mob isn't constantly putting in effort to subdue his powers, they are Incredibly dangerous. he's simply an animal trying to survive, in his power's perspective, and his powers are his teeth and claws to fight back. he's vaguely dissatisfied because he's a little hungry ? outburst, and killing every bird with a single pulse of his energy for a 500 mile radius. somebody attacks ritsu? his powers rip them in half. it's nothing like what human!mob would do, but human!mob is not here. the possibility of ritsu getting injured from this is Really Big. i do not foresee this going well

three:

mob's powers actually heal him

iiiiit's been a bit since i've watched mp100, so i can't rly recall any specific moments where mob heals himself (other than mogami's realm when he regens limbs, but that was a different Realm so . idk the logistics of that) but i'm willing to bet it's a thing. and this has interesting connotations! bc depending on how well his powers are able to heal him, he could be a very "human" zombie

since his powers are . Like That i'm willing to bet they could instantly and completely heal him from any disease but to make it more interesting, i think them partially healing him would be really wild. bc he's still infected, ritsu still has to be careful, but mob can speak now, and hold a conversation for a full 30 seconds, and he has better problem-solving skills than a zombie. it's everything beneficial about being a zombie (strength, resistance to pain) with a few dastardly side effects, instead of a full crumbling of his mind

zombie!mob would be capable of a lot more, but i do think this would eventually end. his powers are essentially his immune system here, and while his energy levels are massive, they are finite. it takes energy to kill the cells that are effecting him, and his powers end up having trouble regenerating bc of his lack of rest. ritsu notices that mob tends to be more functional and talkative right after waking up from those long rests he takes, but then as the days go by without sleeping a wink, he becomes more animalistic and aggressive. this is physical evidence of the disease winning against his powers

so ritsu is absolutely on the clock, here. getting mob to sleep more bides him time, but it's difficult and he's losing functionality by the month. pretty soon mob will be fully zombie, and while that's,,, not The End, ritsu worries that it'll be either harder to cure him or harder to keep him alive in that case. he loses most of what mob brings to the table when his mind goes, too. he'd have to do everything by himself, and it'll be a lot harder on him

[its-haughty]

Saw your post about Zagreus blood symbolism, I’d never thought much about it what symbolism is there about him being the god of blood?

Ok so shiny-thing, im already Not normal about zagreus from the game hades by supergiant games. Asking me this is essentially doing the same act as unlocking a caged tiger from an enclosure.

Under the cut will be lots of text - basically going over my tags in more detail in that one zag piece i made

So basically, the blood symbolism/Zag being the god of blood is used to convey the themes of family and I shall explain..

“It’s In The Blood being about Zagreus”

The whole song is pretty much about Zagreus from a story perspective. The entire song revolves around the idea of family, and a lot of it relates to not being in control- it’s a part of him whether he likes it or not. The lines “It’s always there, it’s in the air. Your dearest kin, below the skin.” makes me so insane because it’s how Zagreus can’t really escape the fact he’s attached to his Mother AND his Father. It’s In The Blood, quite literally.

Blood is used to represent that underlying connection of family that simply can’t be destroyed, it’s inescapable, it’s a core part of who he is and what keeps him alive.

I find it so incredibly interesting that Zagreus essentially has his Mother’s blood, and for that it makes him feel like an outcast- he doesn’t feel as though he belongs in the underworld due to that disconnect from his family. It ties in with how he bleeds “mortal” blood, it’s not ichor or anything of the sort like those closest to him (I’m assuming) considering how Alecto tends to call Zagreus “Redblood” and sometimes during the Hades fight, Hades will comment offhandedly that “You’re bleeding, boy.” + OTTTHHERR countless times Hades has mentioned Zagreus bleeding mortal coloured blood.

And so Zagreus having mortal blood is seen as something to almost be ashamed of/should be hidden away, that sense of disconnect and loss of Something- which it turns out to be the loss without Persephone in his life.

“The River Styx always takes him (which is a pool of blood)”

This is pretty much stockpiling onto the fact that Zagreus cannot escape his bloodline, as it will always take him when he dies. Again, blood is used to convey the message that “There is no escape”!!

“Zagreus being the god of blood (???)”

I put ??? because technicallyyy this is a theory made by achilles but this is practically canon… Not only does it just make sense of zag’s character but there has been plenty of times Zagreus has straight up been related to concepts of blood outside the actual game (like that one offical halloween art where zag is dressed as a vampire… like c’mon.)

ANWAY THAT IS NOT THE POINT

I always found it so so damn interesting that Zagreus is the God of Blood, and as Thanatos’ codex entry continues “God the blood; of life”

The living Need blood in order to survive, but bleed once they’ve died- Zagreus’ domain is pretty much a middle ground between the dead and the living, it’s the dividing lines that keep the living from dying. So Zagreus would be in the middle between Hades, the god of the dead and Persephone, the god of verdure. His title of being the god of blood represents his family connections yet again.

How fuckin cool is that man!!

I’m going to stop rambling about blood because it makes me sound like a maniac and honestly needed to cut out so much unrelated information about just Zagreus’ character that didn’t have anything to do with the blood symbolism- i just LOVE this guy’s whole deal and development and arc and everything so so so SO MUCH

I am sincerely sorry if this makes no sense. I’m really not good at conveying my ideas in a way that makes sense sometimes

[melanodis]

-cartoonishly grabs you with a big hand like a squeaky toy and plops you down- please give me your testing maintenance thoughts. It’s been 84 years, I was there when it was still being written and chapters were still coming out. I’m so infinitely curious on the retrospective perspective on this fanfiction.

articulating myself legibly on this is gonna be so difficult ohhhh my god. oh my god. okay . okay.

so I have read this before during my first portal phase which, granted, was in probably... 2017? 2018? some of 2019? no clue I don't like thinking about when i was 13 that was cringe as hellll. I still have all my fanart from middle school dawg... it destroyed me the first time and by god it destroyed me the 2nd time too but now this time I can actually sort of put my thoughts to paper.

obviously this is gonna have major spoilers so if you intend on reading it I don't recommend looking under here. or do i can't control you okay here we go this is gonna be scattered as fuckkk

First of all, love the entire premise. we never know what happened to Chell after the end of Portal 2, much less Mel, but whatever did we can assume it was probably a lot better than being stuck in a facility made up of machines that want you dead but also worse in the respect that ... well, you're alone now and have to fend for yourself. Remember how to be a human being. Finding food and water and shit with zero idea if you're the last person on earth or not. Imagine being starving and exhausted and probably on the brink of death with a diet of nothing but decades old canned goods and water that probably isn't good either. Then getting basically scruffed like a cat by a robot that drags you back down into the place you fought so hard to escape from, and thrown straight back into testing. Mocked and tormented by a cold, unfeeling machine you accidentally brought back to life to save your own.

The relationship Mel and Virgil have built is so…. vague. And i love it. Neither of them would say i love you and yet both of them would die for the other. Virgil HAS died for her. He defied GLaDOS probably at least 4 different times just to protect her, fully knowing a worse fate would await her if he stood idly by and did nothing at all. His ultimate flaw, and something that is touched upon often, is that he cares. He cares so much. No other personality construct seems to have the amount of empathy he holds for Mel, and it shows. I <3 yearning. I <3 never being able to act upon it.

Something else I think about is that Mel can't even scream. Cry. All you can do is croak and even that feels like it'll make you cough blood. i think she'd be so happy to get her voice back (I can't remember if it was reversible) so she can catch up on all the screaming and crying she missed. Curl up in a little ball for a bit. The grieving she had no time to do. - some of my favorite bits. i don't really have anything to say here they just make me insane

GLaDOS spoke in the voice of a god that had all the time in the world to spare and did not care for its meaning.

-

"And you can't tell me it would be a sweet deal for the two of us to be knocking about in the after life like some kind of supernatural sitcom, because I don't think robots and humans walk in the same cosmic circles after the lights go out.”

-

He struggled with lifting her off the ground, not knowing exactly how to pick a human up in a situation like this, but he had seen photos of grooms holding their brides a certain way so he tried for that as his best option.

hey man why are you just looking at wedding photos first of all

Had he been human like herself, there would be nothing barring her from holding him close and seeing what she could do about his vitals, but he wasn't. He was a machine. A highly advanced machine from an age she did not belong in.

The whole flashback sort of thing with Dr. Aadland destroying the GLaDOS prototype... I'm obsessed with the very idea of all the personality constructs being formerly human. What lives they lead, the relationships they may have had with each other before being converted to machines, their memories picked and chosen, deleted by hand to cultivate a new personality, a pale imitation of the real thing.

In spite of the life you've given I'm just another version of you And somehow I'd rather forget that, too

The person he was, the person responsible for not only building her chassis but involuntarily assisted in being a guinea pig for what they would do to Caroline. Her fate was sealed with his death and yet all she has is spite for him. I guess as some form of catharsis. They took your memories from you. They did a Boeing whistleblower level cover up. You will not be remembered, you will not be mourned. You are nothing, in death and what came after. I don't think Aadland really thought about saving her in particular when he decided to have a textbook crashout, more about the impact it would have on the world overall.

“Its sick. This is sick. Its all sick. There's going to be more like you. All over the world, even. Minds jammed into a compact disc. People are forced to dodge bullets and endure toxic waste and are hooked up to IVs filled with coffee. Its all insane. This place is just… insane. Why am I even here? What am I doing here?”

No matter how strong you think you are, anyone is a mere few nights of bad sleep or none at all from entering psychosis.

"I'm not him, and you really don't want me to be.”

They took away from him the facets of his personality that made him Dr. Aadland. And while we'll never really know exactly what kind of person he was from the little flashes we get, I like to think he was sort of an uptight asshole. Thinking he's better than everyone, getting exhausted with others that fail to understand the reaches of his vast intellect. Something that Virgil could never imagine being. All torn away from him, shoved into a robot with a mere fraction of his intelligence, and all the emotional instability. Possibly one of the greatest minds among them reduced to nothing but a mumbling slurring mess of machine that can barely remember its own name.

Hard drives don't actually delete data until the old data is written over. There's still fragments that can be painstakingly pieced together.

[starsofang]

Hey… hey… how y’all doing?

I’m just going to slowly ignore that fact that this is very late and I totally was asleep all yesterday. That’s my excuse, angie. I SWEAR!!! Pinky swear!

Anyway! SOAP😭 I’ve said it so many times and to be fair you’re probably tired of hearing it but I love the way you write him. I can’t even begin to put the feeling into words. I’m always down for funny, a little dumb, Soap. But the way you write him is so amazing. He’s smart but funny, he’s got good humor but isn’t totally and annoyingly obnoxious. He’s obviously very strong, which wow, is very hot just so you know. Finding someone who writes Soap like you do is so hard and I’m so jealous that you can do it.

I could practically hear his heart break though :((( you can’t give ANY OF THEM happiness can you. SHE SAID ONLY GAZ AND PRICE😭😭😭😭😭😭 I COULD HEAR SOAPS HEART BREAK😭😭😭 I don’t think he’ll tell those two, either out of privacy for her or jealousy for him. But it makes me wonder if she’s even under the impression that she likes Ghost and Soap? Has she even realized it? Have they even interacted enough for her to think that she might have some type of feelings for them.

Soap was so gentle with her too. He assured her that he wouldn’t do anything untoward to her and was attempting to keep her calm when he saw just how bad the bruise was. Which makes me wonder just how bad it really is.

Nurse rant incoming: Broken ribs without treatment can be deadly. Sepsis and other types of infections can seriously hurt her. I don’t know if you’re going that way but seriously, that’s so insane. Not to mention, if he steps in certain places on her ribs, if he breaks one it could puncture whatever it was protecting. By the way you describe where the bruising is, I’d take a wild guess and say, if a kid came into my ER with that bruising, I’d immediately think that some internal bleeding and maybe a punctured pancreas could be going on but that’s also because I read how he was STEPPING on her.

BUT aside from that. John😭😭😭😭😭Price😭😭😭😭😭 He doesn’t even know why she want’s to go back home and the fact that he agreed anyways is absolutely gut wrenching. He cares so much for her and I always had faith that he truly was a good man. Take that John Price Haters😒🫵🏻 Though what does worry me is that they burned down her entire village, yes? She’s going to be heartbroken if they really do take her back to her home. Even if she’s going there to help her figure out her dream (which what the fuck?????) Her entire village and people are dead. I don’t think she’ll pull away from them but she might be heartbroken all over again.

Alsooooo, I didn’t really know how to interpret this part but is Soap now aware that she knows about him and Ghost? Did he take it as a joke? Maybe Is accidentally skipped over a very important part which probably wouldn’t be surprising. Also are all four of them already involved but we just don’t know it yet? If so you probably won’t tell me. Traitor 😒

Have the night you deserve angie, I’m coming for you. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

hi babes 😜 fancy seeing u here like. four days late. oops.

i’m never tired of hearing it pookie, soap is just probably my favorite (besides gaz 😫) and i feel like it’s evident in the way i write him. it’s peak favoritism at its finest. he’s funny, charming, but also hot when he’s angry LORD he’s the package

love ur lil nurse rants because i genuinely wing the fuck out of injuries, especially dove’s. like. i work as a pharmacist. i deal with drugs. idk shit about injuries except how to make the boo boo feel better and obviously on a pirate ship i can’t even do that because hello, i don’t think oxy was invented yet 😭 who would just carry that around. gotta wing her medicines too that she can’t even use. damn anyway it puts things into perspective for me and i’m coming to you for health advice soon mwah

price the man u are. yeah nah she definitely gonna be hit with reality as soon as she sees that crispy ass village again but yknow what? she asked for it. plus going back is important and you’ll find out why 😚

i like to think soap knows. i kind of put it up for interpretation but let’s be honest they’re not very subtle. who leaves the door open when you’re kissing a homie. hello? not him

as for all of them being involved? four men on a ship together gets lonely. i’ll leave it at that.

love u as always 😙