#to message me and ramble or anything
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hello all !!! Iām going to an ceramic/photography camp for a week and I will be back next sunday, I will not be posting while Iām there </3 I love you all and I will miss youuu <33
#camera talks#just so you guys donāt think I died bc I post A Lot lmao#mutuals Pleaseeee feel free to tag me in stuff#to message me and ramble or anything#etc#I will look at Everything when I get back :))#love you all very dearly !!#(also this is Not like my other ālimited internet accessā trip lol. I quite literally Wonāt have my phone on me </33)#anyways I think this will be mildly fun and i went to bed Wayyy too late last night but its okay#i will think of you all and write about you and my journal <33
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#polls#personally i dont like it but thats only because i dont like fandom. the type of stuff that gets the most attention#in fandom usually just annoys me idk. how to explain it in a way that wont come off as me saying#fanfic or whatever is evil its just the fact that it just bombards alot of the conversations?#i prefer it when the thing i like has 10 fans and theyre all on one message board or forum#like for example mtvs downtown is getting popular but apart from annoying#'me and the mid nerd guy i copped by being weird and sexy' posts its not awful....#but then smth like... clone high or smth i suddenly cant remember ppl just got so annoying abt that show??#like i cant stand it i dont even bother watching it anymore plus its just weird to me now like i can't watch it regardless#im just rambling but personally i do not like it. like i dont want what i like to get a revival#i dont want anything new! i just want to enjoy the thing and move on š#fandom seems to prioritize shipping and memes over evaluating or simply just enjoying something!#this goes for anything. music film tv books....
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Solarpunk Community Playlists
So we've got the community playlist for Solarpunk Aesthetic Week, right? It's nice and big, but I wanted to make more community playlists with specific vibes in mind! I've already added a bunch of songs to each, but the goal is to let everyone contribute to them and enjoy them!
Solarpunk and Chill is for lofi/chill beats! The aim is to have it be mostly lofi, or generally just good music to chill to while studying or working on projects!
Solarpunk Sunny Beats is for songs that are pretty upbeat and just feel solarpunk to us--whether its the subject matter of the song, or just the way the instruments sound! It's meant to be the middle ground between the lofi playlist and the next.
Solarpunks Fight for Our Future! is for songs that are punk/punky/rebellious-feeling! The kind of playlist you would bump to on the way to a protest, or do some action--what's the soundtrack that plays in your head if you were to guerrilla garden or do other rebellious acts? Add it here!
I hope you enjoy! I can't wait to listen to everyone's contributions!
#solarpunk#solarpunk aesthetic week#music#playlists#spotify playlists#out of queue#ani rambles#if anyone wants to add songs to the playlist but doesn't wanna show as a contributor feel free to message me or send an ask and i'll add it#my music is simultaneously Kinda Basic but also Kinda Not but I love hearing new songs!!!#i didn't add anything from the aes week playlist that i didnt already know#i wanted everyone to get a chance to add their own favorites!!#rn chill is 62 songs fight is 55 and sunny beats is 213 songs bc im a lil crazy about music#can't wait to see them grow!#spotify
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i was hoping to make a post like this under happier circumstances, but here goes.
as some of you know, everything with the cancellation and renewal campaign has happened right on top of the worst part of my mom's cancer treatment (plus the show was cancelled on my actual birthday š). i won't go into details, but it's been tough. lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, luckily ending (for now) on as much of an up as circumstances allow. the whole thing has been weirdly tied to the cancellation for me, kind of amplifying every feeling. the grief got mixed up, and there was so much of it - mourning the loss of the kind of future i thought i'd have with my mother and the time we might not get, mourning the end of a show that means so much to me and is such a big part of my life. different types of grief, sure, and of different magnitudes, but in one big ugly swirl. i sort of had a breakdown right at the start of february, and it was because of news about my mom, but it morphed into my brain telling me everything i'd ever written was shit and wanting to delete it all. stuff like that, spilling over.
anyway. i was holding off on writing this post to see if the show got picked up by someone else. but i still want to say it. because what also spilled over was the support and community from this fandom, and being in this space (despite the rough times and high emotions) helped me through it, because of all of you here. whether we talk regularly, or you left a comforting reply or simply a like on one of my posts about having a hard time (i tried to keep them few), or wrote a nice comment on a fic, or said something funny or nice or insightful in the tags of a gifset, or was active here (or on twt) in any way, talking/sharing/creating stuff about the show - THANK YOU.
you all helped me through all the ups and downs, and i am so grateful. thank you for being here, listening, distracting, helping me feel some joy despite the horrors. i love you and i love this incredible show and all it has brought and will continue to bring and inspire, and although it should go without saying, i'm not going anywhere. just do me a favor and give yourself a big ol' hug from me, and know that you made a difference for some random guy on the internet (but in reality for many more, and for this fandom as a whole, just by being here and being you) š
#šš#oh wow this got long#i grieved so much in january and never truly got my hopes up even though i of course wished something would happen#that the second ācancellationā message did not hit me as hard as it did for others - like i'd already absorbed that reality#but no matter what. all the effort was worth it - even for just the slightest chance of renewal and showing the cast and crew all the love#and seeing the fandom rally and all the fun moments we found along the way in a shitty situation none of us wished to be in#and for the record - i don't think this means there is no possibility of anything happening in the future#i just think the current/immediate negotiations fell through due to the current streaming landscape#you never know what can happen even if nothing happens for years#it's just that it's not happening right now and we shouldn't be at the edge of our seats. but instead settle into long term fandom mode#instead of constant campaign mode. keep showing all our love for the show and letting it inspire us and move us#and keep supporting the cast and crew in their next works#there is so much more to come from the same creative minds#and i for one am looking forward to experiencing it with you all š#ok i will stop rambling now skdjfhdjks
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I will scream at every non-romantic post I see about these guys. Writers be not afraid. I will love their non-romance fics. I'll blow up your coment section all alone if I have to. I will find you. Artists be not afraid. I will reach tag limit on your artpiece. If I see it at least. And if I don't, I will eventually. Or I'll try. Or @me so I won't fail you.
#i love them#i'd love to talk about them#if you want to talk about them just spawn in my direct messages#i have 0 problem dont be shy#i have done way too much research and headcanons about this 3 guys..#seriously. if you're an artist (draw or write) who thinks that if you post about this 3 guys you will get 0 notes dont worry#you will get mine screaming crying throwing up because i just love this guys. they're not the fandom favorites but they're mine and yours.#trust me#i will not fail.#so yes. come into my dm's whenever you want to ramble about them! i have 0 time to make anything but im more than happy to share!#i NEED so desesperately some non-romantic holm/mickbell fics... but I can't write them... so if I can inspire someone ill be happy#if there's some fic out there non-romantic/sexual about them please send me the link because i need to consume it.#this fandom is no safe for sex-repulsed individuals like myself. nor it is for people who doesnt want to read romance. like me. im doomed.#mickbell tomas#holm kranom#holm#mickbell#sorry for this but i need to talk about them. im very normal i swear#seriously be not afraid to dm me just throwing all your headcanoms or some scene you have in mind about them#im very normal about them and surely so are you. right?#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#delicious in dungeon#im here supporting my fellow non-romance people#[we're 3 but it doesnt matter]
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so as a former employee of RMS Titanic Inc, I have some thoughts I need to get out about this whole current situation, or I will literally explode.
for context, I worked for RMST Inc. for a year and a half as a tour guide and artifact specialist. The company owns the salvage rights to the wreck site, and partners with Oceangate and other companies to retrieve artifacts. the artifacts are used for educational purposes only, in the museum that I worked at, although they werenāt above selling little bits of coal from the Titanic in stupid little tchotchkes like snowglobes and hourglasses.
i dedicated so much of my life and passion to that company and that museum and was treated like absolute dirt lol. and I didnāt even get the worst of it, I had friends and coworkers whose safety and wellbeing was consistently disregarded for the sake of profit, fighting desperately for corporate to stop pretending to care about the legacy of Titanic when all they really cared about was making money
so despite my initial shock at reading about what was going on with the missing submersible, I canāt say Iām surprised. This is what fucking happens when you cut corners and put profit over everything else. If only there was some big historical event that we could look to that would show us just exactly how dangerous that can be...Ā oh wait.
Jack Thayer, who was 17 when he survived Titanic, said that āthe world woke up on April 15, 1912ā³, which pretty much sums up how SURE people were in 1912 that they would never make those same mistakes again. They realized had gotten complacent and swore things would be different. They enacted safety laws, pointed fingers at survivors, created conspiracy theories to try to explain what happened, all out of fear of it happening again. And yet, history always repeats itself
and now people are fucking OBSESSED with the Titanic, they find it fascinating,Ā they wonāt fucking leave it alone, and the company I worked for, and Oceangate, and others, capitalize on that because theyāre greedy and want to make money off of it. all they care about is how to profit off of it. they PRETEND to care about Titanic but they donāt. They never did.
I also actually have a personal connection to one of the five members of the team in the submersible. I met P.H. Nargeolet at the event our museum did commemorating the 110th anniversary of the sinking, I spoke to him and heard firsthand some of his accounts of dives to the wreck site, I even took a picture with him. He cared, he cared so much about Titanic and its legacy, and so do I and so did so many of my friends I worked with. The company we worked for took advantage of our caring, it took advantage of how passionate we were about it in order to line its executivesā fucking pocket
Iām horrified, Iām devastated, Iām vindicated.
on the one hand, I hope this ruins them. i want to watch the company die. thereās a satisfaction in that. but the shitty thing is how much suffering has to happen for things to change. i just wish good people didnāt have to die to make change happen. I wish people cared first, before tragedy strikes. I wish our world wasnāt so fucked up and shit like this didnāt happen. But it did. And it does. And money wonāt save any of those people any more than it saved John Jacob Astor or Benjamin Guggenheim, or any of the other rich greedy assholes who died on Titanic. Iām not celebrating their deaths. But I wonāt ever forget who suffers the most. The coal trimmers and the stewards and the minimum wage guest service associates at the museum I worked at.
Iām glad I donāt work there anymore. But some of my best friends still do. And I donāt want them to suffer more because of this. All I can hope is that it enacts meaningful change that actually lasts. But I know thatās just wishful thinking.
#win rambles#this is very convoluted and not really... idk how much sense it makes i just had to get thoughts out#i don' thave a witty conclusion or a message or anything like that#i just want people to know how shitty our company was and i want you to know how much i loved that job and how much i cared#and how much people in the titanic community do care#i'm just tired of seeing posts and memes about it from poeple who don't know what they're talking about#the titanic community is full of shitty bigoted white men and people who fucked me over bc i'm trans#and fucked over my queer nonwhite neurodivergent disabled friends#but me and my friends are in the community too whether they like it or not and we care and WE matter#titanic#rms titanic
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Ok after 3 weeks of waiting I finally mustered up the courage to email my roomate,, wish me luck
#you have no idea how much of a nightmare this was for me#I scoured everywhere and couldn't find anything on this person#Ok well to be fair they probably wouldn't be able to find anything on me since I never go by my full name anywhere#im praying they're a normal person at least#all I know is that they're the same age as me and an engineering student#which can be a blessing or a curse ig#I mean it's just a harmless message reaching out and asking if they have any socials right....#i hope they dont take this the wrong way bro#haliai rambles
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maybe it's just the autism but it forever confuses me when ppl send me a message that's just some variation of "hey". like did u need something or
#rambles#it's not that hard to say what you're gonna say right š#in my experience i message ppl for A Reason and it doesn't make sense to me to not be upfront abt the reason#idk. is this anything
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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mimura + his 2nd year friendship with maehara
#assassination classroom#ansatsu kyoushitsu#kouki mimura#mimura kouki#hiroto maehara#maehara hiroto#lyrics + titles in alt#from the ansatsu database translation of rollbook time:#When the new (1st) trimester started along with Isogai the 3 of them hung out together as the 'we-can-do-this group'#...but now Mimura has left the group.#oh to be a 'plain and average' 14 years old surrounded by ikemen... the heartbreaking potential... again i have so many thoughts...#could it be NOT angsty and just a NORMAL drift in friendship? INDEED. am I going to make it ANGSTY? yes.#i have... so many thoughts about them. let me scream about it all. please.#don't hesitate to join in on the 'fun' or message me or anything i'll gladly ramble or hear rambling
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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Being left all alone in a concrete room for an inconceivable amount of time really gives you plenty of time to contemplate.!
(especially regarding your boyfriend bestfriend worst-enemy protagonist)
Version without text + one w/ no lighting below the cut!!!
#featuring Moth Cant Do Backgrounds#i tried ok#dont look too hard at the text its all rambling and incoherent#sorry i havent posted in a while#schools back up and ive been a littol bit stressed out but!!!!#im hoping to start drawimg more!!!#so uhh uhhhh enjoy#as always#askbox is open#send me anything!!! i love question or silly messages!!!!!!#tsp#the stanley parable#tspud#tsp narrator#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#the stanley parable narrator#tsp skip button#skip button ending#moth makes things
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Goodnight Gamersš Someone remind me to make Peppermint an official f/o tomorrow lest I get too busy and forget-
#pan rambles#I've been telling myself I'll make her official#but then I get busy any forget š#That goes for anything lately btw-akfjsjfjsk#If I accidentally miss a message please don't be afraid to hit me upside the head or something and remind me#Brain is prioritizing [IRL THING] And school rn so everything else I tend to lose track of#And my silly Tumblr is like. on my lowest list of priorities-#(Which is a shame. would've love to have time to participate in stuff like the fem f/o event...)#(I do like to check in on my dear mutuals when I can though!)#but anyways#I got sidetracked#Peppermint. Prettyš#The thought of Calling her my girlfriend still makes me incredibly flustered#But it sounds really nicešš
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making a HUGE to do list for next week and i really had the audacity to put "bake a cake to celebrate Veilguard release" above "mop the floors" and "work on edits for manuscript for publication"
#i cannot stress how i do not actually have the time to bake a cake#also on the list: carve a DA4 themed pumpkin#bc i carve a fancy one evry year and im NOT gonna let this go even tho i have 10 billion other things to do#besides all the cleaning and apartmnet upkeep i also need to glitter paint 100 seashells#and make a bunch of message in a bottle necklaces for the ren faire on saturday#I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR ANYTHING AHG#ramblings#goin insane fr does anyone want to donate me all their extra hours so u can skip right to thursdy bc holyshit i need more time actualy
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being so obsessed w my fanon uncorrupted shadmilk is so embarrassing like Yeah this is my little guy. yes i made up 95% of his lore and personality in my head. No i wont stop drawing him
#one day he'll become an oc and i'll just have to live with that#he honestly already is unless i somehow predicted every fucking part of his backstory#which is very unlikely#is his name even blueberry milk cookie? i mean... its extremely plausible but we'll have to see#even if past sm gets revealed in-game im still drawing this gay bitch i DONT CARE#hes also really attached to my au i promiseeee i dont mean to be so vague about it but#i never wrote out a synopsis or anything it literally just exists within my messages w my friend rn#and the art i made of it#im really not good at writing#not even like a skill issue but like a āi never know what to write downā issue#and writing eloquently and descriptive is something i never understood how to do which makes me reeally unconfident about my writing abilit#no matter how many videos or classes i go through to understand it i just Don't lol#so my fanfic drafts are forever abandoned#anyway#ramblings#not art#txt
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kinda wanna plot things, kinda don't know how to go about it
#i want to develop things? plots? relationships?#but I'm. not good at it#š#talking to people is hard š¤§#(on the other hand if i get to the point of feeling comfortable i might not shut up ever)#(and then you'd have to deal with me writing things for you randomly at any time)#idk I'm just š§āāļø how do you know if people are interested in writing/plotting or the ideas you suggested#none of this is meant like. negativity and complaining or lamenting about anything#'tis but the rambling of someone who wants to plot stuff but doesn't know how to take the first step ig#plotting call maybe? I'm so bad with messages most of the time too š but perhaps. i could try#* out of character: { dreamfyre stan }
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