#to me everyone is wearing clown makeup. not real or serious. love her!!!

[tkachukisms]

I'm not putting energy into the universe I'm not manifesting shit I am just saying it would be a( incredibly fucking funny and b( even more on brand for us to lose against njd. a team who just lost to the sharks in a game where the sharks didn't even score a goal

[chan-skz]

Going back the way we've come

Pairing : Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Summary: You didn't want to go, but forced by your parents, you gave in. Your relationship with Hyunjin hadn't started very well, after reuniting years later, you realized that a lot of things had changed. but for some reason, you couldn't push him away.

Words: ~ 7.5k

Genre: Fluff, smut (around the end), slight angst

Warning(s): Making out, Oral (f receiving), Fingering, Kinda raw language, Semi-public, Light choking, Light overstimulation, Teasing under table

Note: This is part of the christmas collab I'm doing w/ @hanflix and many other writers. I tried my best to give it a holiday vibe, but I guess I totally failed hahah.

A/N: This is the longest fic I've ever written for now, and I also tried my best in writing it, so I really hope you'll enjoy it! English isn't my first language, so I'm really sorry if there's any mistakes or non-senses.

Your fingers tightened around the collar of your coat, the cold breeze gently hitting your face. You cursed yourself for not having listened to your mother when she insisted for you to take a scarf, arguing that it would be colder than usual.

"Fuck winter." You said when you got back under the shelter of the bus stop, collapsing on the bench next to your bestfriend, where he was sitting.

"Hi to you too, Y/n." Jisung laughed.

"Sorry, really not in a good mood." You said, glancing around, noticing that besides you, there were few other people waiting for the bus.

"Do you want to talk about it though?" He continued.

"Well." You began, sitting correctly on the seat and turning to him, announcing your long speech in advance. He knew you by heart. "I argued with my mom about a stupid decision she and my dad made. They want me to spend Christmas Eve with them and some old friends of theirs! Do you realize that? I don't even know them! She told me they had a son of my age and that I was bestfriend with him when I was younger, as that would some how change my mind. Christmas is supposed to be between families, not strangers."

"Are you done?" He asked when he saw you cross your arms against your chest and sigh even more on the bench. He was really trying to keep from laughing at your despondency. "It's not funny Sungie! I'm really serious!" You complained. "How did I found myself having to spend almost a boring evening with complete strangers?"

"You could come and spend it with me if you really don't want to spend it with your parents' friends." He suggested.

"Are you serious?" You asked, suddenly straightening up, hope shining in your eyes.

"Will your parents accept, though?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No." Your mother firmly refused.

"But why!" You whined through the phone, kicking your foot at the pile of snow in front of you, in frustration

"Because Christmas should be celebrated with the family, honey."

"Family.. We don't even pass it between real family." You whispered to yourself, rolling your eyes, before setting your gaze on your best friend who was still waiting for you at the entrance of the high school.

"It's not the same thing!" She exclaimed loudly through the phone, forcing you to move your phone away from your ear. "Do you really want to stay with them on Christmas Eve anyway?"

"But Jisung offered it to me! He even told me that his parents wouldn't even mind!" You exclaimed in your turn. "You yourself know how much they love me!" You added in hope that it will change her mind.

"It's still no, the discussion is closed." She concluded, before hanging up on you. You sighed in frustration, kicking one last on the snow pile before turning back to your best friend. You weren't in the mood it was clear.

"So?" Jisung asked as you approached him.

"She said no." You answered, walking past him to enter the school. "But don't worry, I'm going to keep pushing when I get home, she says the discussion is over, but I'll keep pushing the subject."

"You really don't want to spend it with their friends, do you?" Jisung chuckled when he saw how persistent you were.

"As they say, perseverance always pays off." You gave him a smile, letting him know you weren't going to drop the case that easily.

"Yeah, but I don't think that's gonna work." Before you could answer, a group of girls down the hall caught your eye. You glanced at each other in disbelief as you approached your group of friends.

"What's going on over there." You asked curiously, as you opened your locker to deposit your things in.

"Ah, just a new student." Jeongin just shrugged, not looking away from his phone, too focused on his game.

"Damn, he's this special to create so much enthusiasm." You continued, taking your books in your arms before closing your locker and leaning against it.

"I heard he was handsome, rich, tall. The pure cliché you know." Changbin added, earning amused looks from all of you. "What? I only rehearsed what I heard, I didn't even saw the guy yet."

"My only question is who would get transfered to a new school a day before winter break? It's so unlikely." You were curious to know who this new kid was, since he already had girls at his feet when it's barely been a day since he arrived.

"I really don't know." Changbin shrugged. "But I also heard he was from your hometown. You must know him."

"No luck, I don't even remember a lot of things from back there." You were still a little surprised that he also came from your hometown, but despite all that, it didn't change your opinion of him.

"Merry Christmas!" Felix came out of nowhere, dressing ridiculously in rudolph. Totally his type. You couldn't help but burst out laughing at his outfit. The day before, you all had agreed to dress in a holiday theme, but it was clear that someone surely hadn't understood the real concept.

"What the fuck, Lix." Jeongin said, finally turning his attention away from his game to judge his friend. "When I suggested yesterday that we could dress like it was Christmas, I didn't actually mean to dress up like this."

You kinda felt bad for Felix as he looked disappointed at the judgment of the youngest.

"Rah, you are so boring." Felix said, crossing his arms over his chest before pretending to sulk.

"Okay, pass me your red nose." You added, rolling your eyes as Felix's face lit up.

"It's good now?" You asked rhetorically, placing the red ball on yours.

"Looks like a real clown now. Your makeup wasn't enough, but with that nose you really look like one now." Jisung said amused, making the whole gang laugh, except you obviously.

"I swear to you that one day I'll kill you." You threatened him, hitting his forearm causing him to whine in pain.

"Ow- damn you hit real hard-"

"Y/n? Y/n Y/l/n?" A familiar voice called you out, making everyone turn around. You then suddenly found yourself facing a guy that neither of you knew. You surely assumed to be the new student.

"Excuse me, do I know you?" You had to admit that the fact that this tall guy knew your name freaked you out.

"Don't you recognize me? Hyunjin. We went to the same elementary school." The so-called Hyunjin indicated, making you frown at his words. But your brain still didn't seem to recognize him despite how hard you tried to remember who it could be.

"I'm so sorry, but you must be wrong on the person. I really don't know you." This time you raised an eyebrow and looked him over from head to toe. You couldn't deny that he was handsome, even though you didn't know him.

"He's from your hometown, there's a chance he's right." Chris pointed, once the guy had left. You sigh in exasperation. "I don't remember him anyway. So whether he's right or not, it doesn't really matter."

You threw yourself on your bed, almost screaming into your pillow in frustration. Again, you tried to convince your parents, but it was a complete failure like this morning. They were really determined that you go with them, even though you had made it clear to them that you didn't want to. You spent long minutes looking at your reflection through the mirror in your bathroom. Did you have to wear a dress and full makeup to go to a stupid Christmas dinner? Obviously, it was your mother who forced you.

The red dress she chose for you was quite tight and followed every curve of your body. But it was either that or nothing, since you would've been allowed to wear something more comfortable. Everything had to be perfect, you rolled your eyes recalling the words of your mother, and also of your father. You didn't understand either why you had agreed to wear high heels, your feet were hurting horribly and the freezing winter cold really didn't help your situation. It was snowing and you were forced to wear these heels anyway, that's how your parents exaggerated. Luckily, there was no ice, otherwise you would've tripped and humiliated yourself in the middle of the entrance. You were torn from your thoughts when the front door opened, and revealing a quite beautiful lady about your mother's age.

"Y/m/n!" The lady exclaimed with a big smile, softly giggling as your mother returned the same energy to her. She wasted no time to make you get in and hugging your mom and shaking your father's hand. Once you got in her facial expression only lit up even more.

"Y/n! Woah, you've grown so much!" She indicated by taking you in your arms too. "You've become so beautiful, I'm sure Hyunjin would agree." She said with a slight smirk. Hearing his name made you choke on your own saliva. You tensed, but managed to fake a smile, even though you were praying inside that you had misheard. Unfortunately for you, all your doubts were confirmed when you walked into the living room and found yourself face to face with Hyunjin.

"Damnit.." You cursed under your breath, when you came to sit on the couch in front of his and according to the face he expressed, he seemed to have heard you. Lucky for you, none of the other adults next to you seemed to have heard it. You could feel his intense gaze on you, and it lowkey made you anxious.

"Dinner's not ready yet, because we got too caught up at the last minute, so sorry." Hyunjin's mother laughed lightly. "I know the kids won't want to wait here all along, so maybe they could go do something else until it's ready."

If you could think that the night couldn't get any worse, you were completely wrong.

"Stop following me." Hyunjin suddenly turned as he walked up the stairs. Making you roll your eyes.

"I 'follow' you, because I have nowhere else to go and I would rather stay with you than stay with them for a second. Their 'good old days' really don't interest me." You crossed your arms against your chest, defying him with your gaze.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes, before turning around. His room was quite large, almost double yours. You made sure to sit in the opposite side of the room. You then found yourself sitting on the sofa while he was lying on his bed, both phones in hand. Your phones keep you busy, making you forget the awkward tension.

"How could you not recognize me?" Hyunjin suddenly asked, distracting you from the video you were watching.

"Do I really have to?" You looked away from your phone to focus on Hyunjin, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed and facing you.

"Did I change that much?" He said, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"We knew each other when we were kids, now we are adults, what do you expect? I can't recognize everyone I was friends with in my childhood at one glance." You said in a mocking voice. "I don't even understand why you keep pushing so hard for me to remember you, but if you really want to, just show me what you looked like when you were a baby. It would surely refresh my memory."

You didn't expect that he would actually do it. But your eyes widened when you saw the little boy in the picture. You recognized him right there. Your heart pounded at the realization, but you tried to pull yourself together. It was stupid to react so exaggeratedly just because you realized you were facing your childhood best friend, your first love. Finally you didn't really know if when you were young you really loved him, because after all, you were still kids, the meaning of love wasn't real known, nor understood.

"Stop Hyunjin, you're hurting him!" You yelled at him to let go of your friend's sweater, Chris.

"No! How dare he touch you! Only I have the right to give you a hug!" Hyunjin frowned, looking at you before quickly looking back at your friend, who just let it go, finding his jealousy quite ridiculous.

"But I was the one who gave him a hug." You started, finding his possessiveness frustrating.

You couldn't help but have a small smile forming at the corner of your lips at the flashback of this event. And you couldn't control your teasing.

"So how's your jealousy? Are you still so possessive of a temper?" You said amused, expecting him to becomes slightly shy and sulky as you pointed out his toxic trait, but what you didn't expect was for him to smile and look down on you.

"Oh, why do you want to know that? Unless you want me to show you what true possessiveness is." He smirked, looking you up and down. Your own smile faded as he watched you closely, making you feel oddly exposed to him in that tight, cropped dress.

"What do you mean?" You pulled yourself together again and asked, raisong an eyebrow.

"Well, I wouldn't have thought you would've had so many guy friends." His comment frustrated you for some reasons. After years apart, as soon as you meet again does he really have to get jealous over the fact that you have a lot of opposite sex friends? You really didn't like it.

"Does it even matter anyway?" You asked insistently. At your reaction, Hyunjin's expression changed, becoming more nonchalant again.

"Nevermind." He got up from the sofa he was leaning on and went to lie back on his bed. You took advantage of him not looking at you to detail him. You couldn't deny that puberty had blessed him, making him not only beautiful, but also extremely attractive. His hair, which he had dyed blond, was slightly messy, but enough to make it look quite classy.

"Do you like staring at me?" He asked rhetorically, but as you were about to deny, he continued. "No need to deny it, the trickle of drool at the corner of your mouth is proof of that."

Seeing your panicking face, he laughed out loud. Quickly running your hand over the corner of your mouth, you finally realized that he was only messing with you from the start. As you opened your mouth to clap back at him, you heard your mother's voice calling you from downstairs, informing both of you that the dinner was ready. Hyunjin didn't miss the glare you gave him as you sat face to face at the dining table. He could've simply ignored it, but the little smirk that appeared on your lips worried him slightly. He had a bad feeling.

Your parents were talking and laughing with each other, paying almost no attention to you two, which gave you the best opportunity to tease Hyunjin. For his part, he was frustered when he felt something caress his leg. Looking down he saw your foot caressing his leg, he wasted no time pushing you away, finding the whole thing quite inappropriate as you found yourself at the table with both of your parents. But you didn't give up, in fact you were determined to make him restless. You restarted your gesture, but this time, taking advantage of his man spread, you deflected your touching on his crotch. You knew he was going to lose his temper at this action and your doubts were confirmed when he jumped at the feeling of your heel pressing against his crotch.

"Hyunjin, are you okay?" His mother asked, slightly worried. You could see a pinkish tinge forming on Hyunjin's cheeks and you had to admit he was so cute like that.

"And yes, y-yes. It's okay, I just banged my knee against the table, sorry." He managed to convince the others. After all, he wasn't going to openly say that you were touching his dick under the table. Stop that, he mimicked, his gaze changing dramatically to become more firmer, but it only made you keep going, finding his reaction funny and extremely entertaining. Suddenly he got up from the table, apologizing to your parents and pretending he wasn't hungry, so he could get away from that family dinner. Not wanting to be alone with them, you did the same, sighing in relief when you in turn managed to sneak out of that Christmas dinner. Except you weren't expecting to be tackled by a pretty angry Hyunjin from the moment you stepped into his room. You then found yourself stuck between him and the wall, his arms placed on each side of your body, blocking you from escaping from his grip. Besides his tall figure, which made him quite intimidating, didn't help your case.

"If you were so desperate for my cock, you should've told me." He said in a dangerously calm voice.

"What are you talking about?" You manage to say, completely confused.

"Oh don't be innocent. You really think this is a game, don't you? Do you think teasing my cock around our parents is fun?" You bit your lip and your eyes widened when he grabbed your hand and put it on his bulge for you to feel it, which was quite hard.

"You feel it? Now I'm fucking hard." He said in a long sigh of pleasure, feeling your fingers trace his length. He then leaned against your ear, his hot breath giving you chills.

"From the moment I met you again, I knew straight away that I didn't want to just be friends with you." You still couldn't quite assimilate the situation you currently found yourself in and it was only when he leaned against your ear to whisper those words to you with his deep voice that you finally broke out of your thoughts. Suddenly you pushed him away, forcing him to pull away from you and step back. He looked at you completely lost, not understanding your sudden action and to tell the truth, you didn't understand what had taken you neither. You couldn't deny that this whole situation had made you slightly aroused, but it was too soon. No sooner had you met again than you already found yourself doing dirty things? It was going a little too fast for your liking.

"That-that won't work, I'm so sorry." You avoided his gaze in embarrassment. After a few moments of silence, you finally returned your gaze to Hyunjin, who was now looking at you completely detached. And to be honest, his expression hurted you, but you tried to hide it. You knew you ruined your evening, that's why you decided to end up speanding it with your parents. It was quite boring, but at least it allowed you to escape the discomfort that would've been present between you and Hyunjin, if you stayed with him.

"And? What did you do?" Jisung asked excitedly. A few days later, you had wasted no time summoning Jisung, your best friend, to tell him what had happened to you. But no sooner had the story started than he was already feeling excited, obviously expecting you and Hyunjin to have done it.

"I pushed him away." You simply said, looking as if you didn't care about it. Even though a few days later, you were still mentally slapping yourself for pushing him away so coldly. While deep down, you wished things had turned out differently.

"What did you do?" Jisung repeated slowly, his excitement fading.

"I pushed him away and even told him that it wouldn't work between us." You closed your eyes, anticipating his reaction.

"Oh my god, I have never known a girl so stupid." Jisung said in exasperation. "You literally had the chance before you and you didn't even take it."

"I know!" You pouted. "It's just that I realized this when it was too late. I was in the living room with my parents, you really expected me to go back to his room and take back everything that I said and did to him?"

You concluded ironically before crossing your arms against your chest and sighing in exasperation.

"Well that was an option that you unfortunately didn't take and which could've prevented from finding yourself in this situation." He dramaticallyraised his hot chocolate cup to face, making you roll your eyes.

"I'm seriously starting to regret telling you this story and even offering to go out. You really aren't helping me."

"It's too hard not to judge you when you literally make so many stupid decisions, sorry." He said, chuckling at your annoyed reaction. "Ah, by the way, I almost forgot to mention it, but Changbin is throwing a new year party tomorrow and he told me to force you to come."

At the mention of a party, you whined. You didn't like parties, you preferred to stay at home, doing nothing, rather than partying among people you didn't know.

"Tell him back that despite you forcing me, I'm not coming." You said directly.

"Please, for once come on. And it'll help you to forget about your night with Hyunjin." Jisung begged you. It was very rare that you attended parties organized by your friends, one because you didn't like the vibe, but you also didn't understand the usefulness of getting high and drunk. But coming to think of it, not only did you want to forget the shit you had caused, but you also felt like getting wasted.

"Fine."

You scrambled through the room, the wave of dancing people glued to each other began to make you sick. Your glass in hand, you passed through all these people, until you finally got off the dance floor. You shiver slightly when you feel the light cold breeze brush your exposed legs. You were already regretting having put on such a short dress. It wasn't really ideal to go out so exposed, but it was the only evening dress you had.

"Looks like you're bored." Felix's deep voice surprised you, making you jump.

"Oh my god!" You exclaimed in surprise. almost dropping your drink. "You scared me."

You hit his forearm, making him laugh out loud.

"No, but seriously you look really bored." He said, calming down. You just nodded, it was true that you were slowly starting to regret coming. Your dress that bothered you, the alcohol that took too long to hit you, and the cold freezing were all the reason of it.

"Do you want to come with me play truth or dare? Changbin and the other boys were organizing it." He proposed to you, not failing to see you looking with disgust at the gathering of people completely wasted and grinding on each other. You accepted, telling yourself that it might change your mind. You didn't know this kind of game was still being played at parties, but you were curious enough what kind of dares and truths other players will throw themselves into. Obviously, you should've expected to see Hyunjin as soon as you set a foot in the room, which seemed to be Changbin's room, accompanied by Felix. Other than this one, Hyunjin and even Changbin, you didn't really know the other participants, but even then you cursed yourself for not thinking for a second that Hyunjin might be there too. You blushed slightly when you noticed him contemplating your body shamelessly. You thanked the lord for making the room a little dark, only a lamp on the floor on the floor litening the room.

"Y/n!" Changbin exclaimed with joy when he saw you, glad you came. Coming to hug you, only to ruffle your hair.

"Stop." You giggled. "You ruined my hairstyle." You pouted.

"Ohh, it's okay, you're beautiful the way you are." He said, making you blush. Changbin treated you like his little sister, his way to make you comfortable no matter the situation would always surprise you. Your interaction didn't go out of Hyunjin's attention. From the corner of the room he watched you silently, paying no attention to the girl beside him who was desperately seeking his attention.

"Are we starting or not?" Felix complained loudly, drawing attention to himself.

"We're just waiting for Jisung and Jeongin." No sooner had Changbin finished his sentence than your two friends entered the room, their arms laden with drinks.

"To spice up the game!" Jisung exclaimed as he placed the bottles on the ground, beside the circle you had formed. You had hesitated for a moment to sit down, your short dress really bothering you, obviously you didn't want others to have an easy view of your panties. You were then offered by Changbin his jacket to cover your lap, clearly having noticed your struggle.

"Thank you." You smiled at him, before kneeling on the floor and covering your legs with his jacket.

"Ok, we all know the game rules, right? But this time, if you don't want to answer the truth or don't want to do a dare, you're going to have to take two shots of vodka." Jeongin vaguely explained. "Okay, I'm starting."

He leaned over to spin the bottle, stopping in front of Changbin.

"Truth or dare." Jeongin asked with a smirk at the corner of his lips. It was in those moments that his inner devil was coming out.

"Truth." Changbin said. "I don't trust you enough to pick dare when it comes to you." He added suspiciously.

"What's your body count?" Jeongin asked, ignoring his friend's comment.

"Do I need to have slept with them?" He asked, waiting for the clarification of the younger. He took time to think.

"Then I think around 15, if not even more." He nodded. Hearing this number, you almost choked.

"15?! What the hell?!" You turned to Changbin, your eyes widening. "You better spill the tea, mr.Don Juan."

The game went on, you had to admit it was pretty funny seeing some people taking two shots of vodka and gradually get drunk just because they didn't want to do something, or even see some people do of ​​stupid things. Well, until Hyunjin's turn came and he had the misfortune of being told what to do by Jisung.

"Truth or dare, Hyunjin." He asked him with a smile, which the world that didn't know him might consider innocent, but knowing him very well, you knew he was up to no good.

"I guess, dare?" He answered.

"I dare you to make out for a minute with the girl you find the most attractive in the room." As soon as Jisung's words came out of his mouth, his turned gaze to you. You rolled your eyes when you had eye contact with your best friend. Seeing how the girl, who was sitting next to Hyunjin, looked quite pretty and looked so interested in him, you expected him to turn to kiss her. But you were a little taken aback, when he got up to approach you to kneel down in front of you, ignoring the complaints of the girl you think was one of his fangirls at school.

"Wait what?" Your eyes widened, completely lost. Your heart quickly started race up as you saw him lean towards you.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked quietly. You really didn't know what to add, you were literally wordless. Subconsciously, you started to nod your head gently, giving him your consent. When your lips touched, it was as if no one existed around you. The exclamations of surprise that other people around you were expressing went over your head.

Hyunjin's lips were soft, the kiss you exchanged was initially passionate, but the longer the seconds passed the hotter it got. Without thinking too much, you wrapped your arms around the older man's neck, pulling him closer to you, as he grabbed your hips. Too absorbed in each other, you hadn't noticed that the minute had already passed and it was only when Jisung called you out that you finally came out of your reverie, instantly detaching yourself from Hyunjin.

You blushed slightly when you felt a light trickle of drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, you pressed to wipe it off quickly with the back of your hand. Hyunjin, for his part, just licked his lips, giving you a smirk, knowing that this action would destabilize you even more. Clearing your throat afterwards, you for sure wanted to divert the attention others had on you, while Hyunjin, sat down next to you with a big smile on his face, not caring that all the attention was on you. After all he had finally kissed you, which he had wanted to do since the dinner with your parents, so nothing else mattered. Your thoughts wandered elsewhere as the game continued its course. You couldn't think of anything other than Hyunjin's lips on yours, his kiss had made you lose your head. Your mind was engulfed in unhealthy thoughts and it didn't take you long before you felt yourself being drowned by your own mind.

"I-I think I'm going to go." You huffed, feeling a pleasant, but quite uncomfortable heat growing between your legs. You were clearly starting to feel bad. You didn't give Changbin or Hyunjin time to speak as you got up and quickly left the room. The loud sound of the music playing backwards was much more audible once in the hallway, it's precisely at this moment that you could gradually feel the influence of alcohol washing you off. Luckily for you, you found the bathroom easily.

"Y/n?" You heard Hyunjin calling you, but you didn't pay him any attention to him when he hesitantly walked in. You were propped up against the bathroom counter, staring at your reflection through the mirror, it was easily recognizable that you were not feeling well. Your cheeks were red, your breath quickened and your eyes slightly narrowed.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, approaching you, but he resigned himself when he saw you stepping back when he tried to come closer.

"Stop playing with me." You finally said, turning to face him. You couldn't help but slightly laugh bitterly when he looked at you in confusion, obviously not understanding the meaning of your words.

"Seriously Hyunjin, what do you want from me." You rolled your eyes, "You tell me straight up that you want more than just a friendship with me, when it had only been one evening that we met again. Things have changed Hyunjin, I've changed, you've changed. We're not the same as when we were still children." He was silent for a moment, looking deep in his thoughts, before he resigned himself to saying something.

"I understand that we are no longer children. And from the moment I saw you again I understood it very well. You must think I'm talking nonsense, but just seeing you and talking to you again last time, I don't know why, i had the same feelings i had when we were young."

He stopped talking to approach you slowly, making sure first that you weren't going to distance yourself from him.

"I'm very serious. I'm really not trying to play with your feelings, nor you in general." His gaze reflected a slight sadness. He was genuinely afraid of being rejected by you, even after his speech.

"How could I believe you?" You asked, hesitantly whether you should take him seriously or not.

"If you give me a chance, I swear I could prove it to you." You felt butterflies in your stomach at his words. You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it immediately, you really didn't know what to say. And he looked pretty determined.

"I hope you're not going to make me regret it then." You manage to say. At your answer, his face lit up. He was anxious that you would reject him, that you would tell him that his 'confession' was absurd, but he felt a huge weight off his shoulders at your words. His gaze wandered over your lips for a few seconds, before he glanced quickly behind him.

"I-" He started slowly, looking suddenly slightly embarrassed. "Can I kiss you?"

His question made you smile for real this time, finding his reaction rather unexpected and ironic, given of what had happened earlier.

"Really, Hyunjin? You literally kissed me in front of dozens of people and now you're getting all embarrassed." You teased him. "So cute."

At your last comment, his expression changed dramatically. Suddenly, he leaned over and grabbed your chin, forcing you to lock your eyes with his.

"Me, cute?" He tilted his head to the side, his gaze languishing in your face, as if to memorize every detail. "You sure about that?" All trace of embarrassment had disappeared from his attitude. He looked more than serious and you couldn't deny that you liked this new facade of him.

"Why don't you show it to me then?" You didn't know where that line, or even that daring, had come from, but you didn't complain when Hyunjin's lips rested on yours for the second time that evening. The kiss was way more intense than the one you had shared earlier. Hotter and more eager. You gasped in surprise as Hyunjin grabbed you by the back of your thighs to lift you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. Your dress, which was already short, rose at this gesture, giving him easy access to your ass. Placing yourself on the bathroom counter, you were slightly disappointed when he pulled away from you, breaking your kiss. You looked at him with puppy eyes, as he turned around to close the bathroom door and lock it.

"Just making sure we won't be disturbed." He smirked, taking full notice of your desperate look. He wasted no time before stepping back between your legs, his lips joining yours for a warm kiss once again.

"Fuck, you don't know how many times I've fantasized about being like this with you since the last time." He whispered in admiration, as he kissed the path up to your neck, where he teasingly bit your soft spot which he found easily. You suppressed a small moan at his gesture, your fingers venturing into his long curls and pulling them gently. You could tell he liked it by the deep moan he made.

"You left me so hard when you ran away last time." He straightened up to look at you straight in the eyes, the sheer desire burning through his gaze making you feel in a certain way you could describe as sinful.

"I was afraid I had done something wrong when you pushed me away. I even felt bad for getting so excited after you teased me under the table in the presence of our parents." The tone of his voice clearly reflected nostalgia.

"But don't feel bad. I just panicked at the time." You smiled at him, passing a hand on his cheek to reassure him.

"And if I'm being honest, the situation got me excited too." You confessed shyly. Your revelation relaxed him slightly, but also boosted his confidence.

"Really?" He asked rhetorically, stroking your thighs with his fingertips. Your heart race increased as he rushed to drop hungry kisses down your collarbone, wasting no time slipping your sleeve, giving him a perfect access to the base of your breasts.

"Fuck.. Please..." You moaned, wiggling lightly against him, begging him for more, which made him smirk in satisfaction. You were as desperate for him as he was for you.

"My baby is so impatient. So sweet." He chuckled, visibly enjoying seeing you so hopeless for him to touch you intimately. It didn't take him long before he decided to finally slid his hand between your thighs, easily finding your clit, his fingers rubbing it so skillfully.

"I can already feel your wetness." He bit his lower lip, his dark eyes focusing on your face contracted with pleasure. You were so beautiful.

"Lay down." You were torn from your little cloud of pleasure again, when he removed his touch from your panties to remove it entirely, exposing your soaked pussy to him. You leaned back as he ordered, leaning back against the mirror behind you and opening your legs wide for him to give him an easy access to what he wanted the most right now. You knew seeing yourself so exposed and vulnerable just for him, hugely turned him on. The visible bulge on his crotch being the proof.

"You look so fucking good, baby." He said, licking his lips, obviously pleased pf the way you were already dripping just for him, when he barely touched you. Not breaking eye contact, he knelt between your legs, gripping your thighs to keep them firmly open, before languidly licking your cunt, stickinf his tongue inside of you. Your fingers found his hair again, gripping it tightly when Hyunjin suddenly began to suck on your sensitive swollen clit. You couldn't stop a few moans from escaping, even though you were trying the best you could to not to be too loud. Your hips subconsciously bucked against his face, forcing him to wrap his arms around your hips so that he could stabilize you moving too much. He intended to make you scream his name with pleasure and he wanted to do it the right way. You felt like you were losing your mind when the way he was eating you out changed, getting much more rougher and hungrier. He then suddenly slipped a finger, then a second, inside you, touching your weak spot with every pump and strock of his fingers.

"Hyunjin.. Too much.." You moaned, squirming more and more under his grip on you with each of his moves. Your thoughts were clouded with pleasure, dizzying your mind. You couldn't think properly anymore, only your orgasm, that you could feel was getting closer and closer, was the only thing you could think about. The tension, which you could feel building in your lower abdomen, exploded as Hyunjin once again eagerly wrapped his lips around your clit. Your eyes rolled back, as your orgasm washed you away, making you moan loudly in ecstasy. Seeing you come around his fingers and his mouth didn't make him stop his movements. You had to beg him to stop when it got too much for you to handle. His mouth and chin were almost dripping with your juice, giving his lips an delicious shine. You felt empty when his fingers slipped off you, but you ignored it, straightening up quickly and pulling him back into a sloppy kiss, where you clearly tasted yourself on his tongue. Your hands were hanging from the waistband of his pants, which you delicately untied during your erotic exchange. You desperately wanted to feel his cock, which you could feel was already hard enough, between your lips and at the very thought, you could feel your pussy getting wetter than before.

"My good girl is so desperate for my cock?" He whispered between your lips, the sudden nickname and the hand that came wrapping around your throat made you feel much more excited and eager for him. You moaned slightly in contentment at the pleasant feeling he made you feel just by his actions and presence. You went to answer him, but was cut off by what happened outside.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!" The loud mixed voices of people still partying echoed throughout the house. At this understanding, you looked at each other for a few moments, before involuntarily bursting into laughter.

"New year, new girl, which means new resolutions. That's all I can say about it." He said, giving you a wink full of innuendos. Blushing, you couldn't hide the smile that crept onto your lips.

"I think it's the same for me then." You declared in admiration in your turn, matching his vibe.

"Good, because I have every intention of making up for the lost time." He whispered seductively. "In every sense of the word." His last words gave you shivers of anticipation. You knew you were in there for a long ride. After all, maybe the special connection you had as a kid hadn't changed at all.

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Nine

Robyn brushed her hair up into a ponytail as she walked out of her closet into her bedroom. Leandra and Melissa sat on the large bed, both dressed in their nightwear as was Robyn.

“I can’t believe y’all really came all this way for some gossip,” Robyn murmured as she sat down on the bed and pulled a pillow between her legs.

“We also came to check on you,” Leandra replied.

“Sure you did. So ask away.”

“How are things going?”

“Good.”

“Are y’all still talking?”

“Yes, me and Chris are still talking.”

“Are you dating?’

“No, we are not dating.”

“Why not?”

“We’re relearning each other besides I’m still not in the mood for anything serious.”

“He’s your ex-husband, there’s already a touch of seriousness in this.”

“Exactly why we’re not dating. We got enough to deal with just by being exes.”

“So what is he like?” Melissa asked, “I can imagine things are a bit different now.”

“Things are very different,” Robyn replied as she grabbed her phone and scrolled to a recent picture they had taken together and handed it to Melissa, “he’s so much calmer and relaxed now.”

“Y’all look so good together but you always have. He’s aged well.”

“He did. Witnessing the change between the Chris I knew and this new Chris is interesting.”

“How is he as a dad?”

“He’s amazing. Anesa absolutely adores him.”

“How is your relationship with Anesa?”

“I’ve only been around her a few times but we get along pretty well. She’s so sweet and funny.”

“So what’s the big problem with dating?”

“I am not ready to date regardless of the man, that’s why I didn’t want to meet my internet friend in the first place. Why does it have to go anywhere because we met?”

“It doesn’t have to but it does make sense.”

“I can see your point.”

“You know I’m surprised you’re not madder at him. All that anger you had couldn’t have just disappeared,” Leandra interjected, “you are so zen right now.”

“Oddly enough all the talking we did before we knew who we were really clarified things for me. Had I known it was Chris I was talking to, things might’ve been a little different but I understand more. I’m not completely over feeling betrayed and he knows that but it’s not as bad as it was.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“Yes and no.”

“What!”

Robyn laughed, “I told you we slept in the same bed together already but we have not had sex.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You and Chris, the two freaks of the century, actually slept in the same bed together and did not have sex.”

“Yes. Why is that so unbelievable?”

“Because it’s you two.”

Robyn laughed, “It’s also been seven years. You’d think I’d succumb to him that quickly?”

“Considering you haven’t had sex in seven years, hell yea.”

They all laughed as Robyn rolled her eyes, “I want to be surprised but it’s you, Lele.”

“But you also know that I’m right. You really don’t want to see how it is after all this time?”

“No, I’m not even thinking of him like that.”

Leandra sucked her teeth as she flipped her hair over shoulder, “we’ll see, Ms. Robyn.”

“There is nothing to see, Le-” Robyn stopped as her phone started ringing. She looked at the screen and saw it was Chris, “speak of the devil.”

She cleared her throat then answered the phone, “Hey Stranger.”

Chris sat up in his bed as he heard Robyn answer the phone. He knew it was getting late but was taking a chance on her not being asleep, “How you doing, Beautiful?”

“I’m great. How are you?” She replied.

“I’m good. I was taking a chance on you being awake since it’s getting late.”

“It is the weekend and I am off. Nothing to explain about.”

“Great. Do you have plans this weekend?”

“None that can’t be rearranged depending.”

“I was wondering if you were free Saturday evening for dinner.”

“I would love to go to dinner.”

“Just to clarify, this is a date, date. Not a friendship date. Not a I’m just in your neighborhood, let's hang out kind of thing.”

“Ok. You didn’t have to clarify, Christopher.”

“I just don’t want you to feel like I tricked you in any way. My intentions are honorable but I would like to take you on a real date, if that’s feasible.”

“Thank you for the clarification but my answer is still yes.”

Chris blew out a sigh of relief and Robyn laughed, “were you not breathing that whole time?”

“Are you gonna clown me if I say yes?”

“No, I’ll let you slide this time. You really don’t have to be so nervous around me, Chris. I am not being your friend under duress”

“I know, it’s just my insecurity rearing its ugly head. My apologies.”

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m not doing much right now.”

“No, I don’t want to put-”

“Christopher.”

“Yes?”

“It’s not a burden. Now take a deep breath and talk to me.”

“I’m just psyching myself out, I guess.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re still here and I wasn’t prepared for it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you’d be tired of me by now.”

“Why?”

“There’s not too much interesting about me or my life.”

“I’d beg to differ but even if there wasn’t, I could still just want to be around you. Why is that so shocking to you? Are you expecting me to spontaneously become angry about our past and hate you?”

“Honestly, yes.”

“Please do not take what I’m about to do as a dismissal.”

Robyn burst out laughing and Chris groaned into the phone,” Christopher, that is the most asinine thing I have ever heard. If I was still angry, I would not still be talking to you. I don’t do petty. I don’t do revenge. I am an adult and I can adequately express my displeasure in something without writing it off completely. I am beyond the anger stage. I’m in a place of understanding while you seem to be operating from a place of guilt. Am I right?”

“You’re right.”

“So it seems that you are the problem here and not me, correct?”

“Correct.”

“So how are we gonna fix that?”

“I’m thinking I might need to see my therapist.”

“Whatever works for you.”

“So I’ll be at your place around 6: 30 pm tomorrow night, is that ok?”

“That’s perfect.”

“Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“You do the same. Is there any kind of special attire?”

“Nothing too fancy but not super casual either.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Have a good night, Christopher.”

“You too, Robyn.”

Chris hung up and tossed his phone beside him before grabbing a pillow to scream into.

“Girl, you sounded like me talking to Max,” Leandra said with a laugh.

“Chris can be his own worst enemy sometimes,” Robyn replied, “he thinks I’m being nice to him to get back at him.”

“We heard but what’s happening Saturday?”

“He wants to take me on a date.”

“Oooh, where you going?”

“He just said out to dinner, I’m not sure where.”

“What are you wearing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Good. Shopping trip tomorrow then.”

“We do not have time for your kind of shopping trips, Leandra.”

“We can abbreviate it.  Y’all are going on a real date so you need to pull out all the stops. We’ll check on Nordstrom’s for an outfit, come back here, I'll do your hair and makeup. Simple.”

“Nothing is ever simple with you.”

“You will love me for it. Trust me. And Chris will too.”

“Now I’m scared.”

They all laughed.

                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robyn’s nervousness melted away when Chris walked into her living room with Leandra and Melissa hanging off each arm. His eyes met hers and stuck causing her to blush, “can y’all let the man go please?”

Melissa scoffed, “we haven’t seen him in seven years and y’all don’t have to leave yet, relax. I missed my little brother.”

“Psshh, I think Leandra is the only one who didn’t reach out to him this whole time.”

“Actually, I did but I got his voicemail,” Leandra interjected, “ Lucky for him because I was gonna call him all kinds of names for skipping out on us.”

Chris shook his head, “I would’ve deserved.”

“Damn right,” Melissa said, “but Lele and I have plans so we’ll be going now.”

Chris kissed both of their cheeks before they hugged Robyn and left. Chris moved to sit on the couch next to her and patted her knee, “those two are still characters.”

“They always will be.”

“Glad some things haven’t changed.”

“True. So how are you?”

“I’m good. You look amazing.”

“Thank you. Leandra forced me to buy something new. Apparently my current wardrobe isn’t date appropriate.”

Chris chuckled, “I think your current wardrobe is you and that’s perfect.”

“Thank you. You’re really sweet.”

“Ouch.”

“Why the ouch?”

“You’re really sweet is such a curve statement.”

Robyn laughed, “Omg Chris, really?”

“Yes really.”

“But what if I really do think you’re really sweet.”

“It’s been so long how could you remember.”

“We did kiss a while ago. On the corner of the mouth.”

“And?”

“That’s all I’m admitting to.”

Chris laughed as he held his hands up in playful surrender, “I’ll take that but we could remedy that.”

“After dinner.”

“After dinner then. Are you ready to go?”

“Yup. Lead the way.”

Robyn let out an audible sound of awe as they stood by the car at the entrance of Chelsea Pier, “this is gorgeous. What’s going on here tonight?”

“It’s a jazz performance. A few of the local student groups for the major universities in NY are doing a fundraiser.”

“Are some of your students performing?”

“It’s possible, I didn’t check for specific performers of each group.”

“Do you perform anywhere?”

“Not anymore. I did once or twice a few years back.”

“Is that why you gave me the name Christian?”

“Partly. I know there’s videos of my performances online which lead back to my social media which of course would’ve told you everything.”

“You know since you told me this, you totally have to show me these videos.”

“One of these days I’ll get loose enough to not be embarrassed to show you.”

Robyn chuckled, “I’m sure you did well, why be embarrassed?”

“I was fairly nervous performing so I don’t think I did too well.”

“What did everyone else say?”

“That I did well but I think I’m harsher on myself than anyone else.”

“That, I can believe.”

“So what hobbies did you pick up?”

“Other than reading more, none.”

“Really?”

“I’m not the creative type.”

“You used to say that back in the day too but you never know until you try something.”

“What do you think I should try?”

“What have you always wanted to try?”

“How about something we’d both be learning at the same time?”

“How about sculpting or something?”

“Hmm...that sounds good.”

“I guess we need to schedule another date then.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course,” Chris replied as he grabbed her hand. They had walked up to the restaurant hosting the fundraiser event. The maitre’d smiled at them as they searched for Chris’s name on the list. Upon finding it, they led them to a table by the window. They smiled their thanks as they took their seats and accepted a menu.

“This is a nice spot.” Robyn stated.

“Thanks. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be outside. It can get a bit cool since it’s still early in the season.”

“Very thoughtful. Thank you.”

Robyn swayed gently to the current group of musicians playing a jazz-rendition of a classic R&B song by Tony Terry. Chris watched as she started to mouth the words and leaned into his palm, thoroughly enjoying her enchantment with the music. Just then he felt his phone vibrate with a text message from Jessica.

Jessica: Chris, I need to bring Anesa to you. There’s something going with Jason.

Chris: I’m at the restaurant we used to go at Chelsea Pier

Jessica: I’ll be there in ten minutes

Chris: you were already in the city?

Jessica: Yes, I had to drive down here for Jason. It was supposed to be over quick but we’re still here. I’m trying to keep this nigga out of jail

Chris: SMH, you need a new boyfriend

Jessica: I’m figuring that out

Chris: LOL

Chris gingerly touched Robyn’s hand, bringing her attention back to him, “we have a dilemma.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Jessica needs to bring Anesa to me. She has an emergency.”

“Oh, is she ok?”

“It’s her boyfriend. Long story.”

“If you need to cut the date short, I’ll understand.”

“No, I would like to continue this but we might have to switch plans because of Anesa.”

“That’s fine.”

“You sure? I know this was supposed to this big date and I’m gonna have to-”

“Chris, it’s not like we’re not gonna see each other. I am not worried about the change of plans. I’m having a really good time.”

“I can tell. You’ve barely said anything to me since we’ve sat down.”

Robyn shrugged, “music centers me a bit.”

“Oh I’m not complaining. Watching you has been a highlight. How was your dinner?”

“It was amazing. I never considered blackened catfish but I love it. I’m used to grilled or steamed.”

“I’ll have to make a southern dinner from scratch one of these days.”

“I would like that.”

“Good.”

“Is Jessica far away?”

“She said 10 minutes but I’m guessing it’ll be more like 20 if she’s where I think she’s coming from.”

“We could walk for a little bit before we meet her outside.”

“You don’t want anything else to eat or drink?”

“Nope, I think I’m good.”

Chris gestured for the waitress and paid for their food before leading Robyn out to the front.

Robyn tucked her hand in his, “so which way do we go?”

“Hmm...to the right, I believe there is a small park. To the left, would be towards the parking lot.”

“Then to the right it is.”

Robyn leaned in his arm as they started walking, “what led you to fostering?”

“Besides me wanting a child?”

“Besides that.”

“I just thought I was in the right place and I had a capacity for love that I wasn’t utilizing. I’ve always loved children and had a good rapport with them, I figured what better way to use it than to give it to a child that needs it. I had already decided against getting into another relationship.”

“That really surprises me.”

“Why?”

“I mean you’ve clearly healed and done well for yourself. Why stay single?”

“I had my dream girl and I blew it. There wasn’t anyone else out there I really wanted to be involved with.”

“I guess.”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I was still trying to make sense of the divorce. Adding a new person to my life just didn’t sound like a good idea.”

“But you still could’ve been in a relationship amid all of that.”

“At the risk of inflating your ego, there wasn’t anyone else I wanted to be with.”

“That actually makes me feel more guilty than hype.”

“Why? Because you wanted me to date someone else.”

“Actually yes.”

“Are you really that worried that you ruined me?”

“Very. Not saying relationships are the only way to be happy but I know how much you enjoyed it. You’re very independent but you’re also affectionate and loving, you deserve to share that with someone who’ll give it back to you.”

“I can’t give it to myself?”

“Of course you can but you know what I mean.”

“I do. I’m just picking with you.”

Chris chuckled then kissed her temple, “wanna make a u-turn? Jess should be here by now.”

“Sure. That was a quick 10 minutes.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun.”

“True. So what are we going to do once we get Anesa?”

“I will leave that up to you and her. I want it to be something fun for both of you.”

“I'm good for a movie and relaxing on the couch.”

“I’m trying to do something extraordinary and you are shooting me down at every turn.”

“Who says that extraordinary requires an exuberant amount of energy or money? In my old age, just spending time with a person is extraordinary to me.”

“Well when you put it that way, I feel special.”

“You should. Most people don’t get past one phone call with me.”

“Really?”

“Yes really. The fact you got past the first chat with me is a miracle.”

“I guess that prayer I sent up before we left your house was answered.”

Robyn laughed, “you’re still just as dramatic as you ever were.”

“I’ve tried to mellow it out a bit.”

“Just a bit is right”

“Right in the heart.”

“I never miss, Christopher, if you haven’t figured that out.”

“It has been duly noted.”

They laughed as they made their way back towards the restaurant. 

[elusive---ivory]

Circus Act - 8

WARNING: CONTAINS VIOLENCE OUTBURSTS

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Arthur felt fresh. He took a nice clean shower to get ready for his comedy gig.

Not only that, he had a big date tonight. A date with Sandy.

He hummed to himself, slicking his hair back. He imagined himself already next to Sandy. Her combing his hair, telling him he looks handsome. All the things couples would do.

Arthur looked over at the steps he wrote in his journal.

Alwayz make sexy jokes

Keep hair slik bac

Know the audensis

He felt ready for the big thing.

Sandy was in her apartment, getting ready and doing her makeup.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked healthy. She wore a low cut red dress. A dress she'd been dying to wear since she bought it. Dennis would never let Sandy wear it.

She could still feel his harsh voice, yelling at her from that day. It still cut her deep.

"Do you honestly think you could wear that?" Dennis would shout.

Sandy felt a tear creep down her face. She looked over at a pair of scissors, sitting there on the bathroom sink. She grabbed the scissors from the sink, walking towards her bedroom.

The scissors ran through the thin fabric of the red dress. Furiously cutting it up each piece by piece as tears streamed down her face.

Her makeup was completely ruined, and needed to be reapplied. She threw what used to be a dress away in the bin.

Sandy needed to change.

Pogo's Comedy Club wasn't far from Sandy's apartment building. She was pleasantly surprised that she didn't have to walk far in heels.

The neon lights of the club seemed welcoming enough. She had gotten there a few minutes early, surprisingly.

Sandy took a seat in the far back of the club as the comic in the front was finishing his stand up. The guy's jokes were mediocre at best. They were mostly about sex, and how women and men view sex differently.

It got a chuckle out of Sandy as she waited in anticipation for Arthur to perform.

The man thanked everyone before walking off the stage.

"Alright, so our next comic describes himself as a lifelong Gotham resident who from a young age was always told that his purpose in life was to bring laughter and joy into this cold dark world." The announcer said, taking a brief pause after overlooking the note card.

"Please welcome, Arthur Fleck."

And there he was. Arthur Fleck in all his glory.

Sandy's eyes lit up as he strutted across the stage. Her heart was racing. She stood up, clapping, seemingly a bit over excited to an extent.

Arthur felt the nervousness come over him rapidly. He felt stranded in the florescent lighting shining on him.

Soon, his laughter came over him. He covered his arm with his mouth, still laughing.

Sandy could see the anxiety Arthur was going through. The people in the club didn't have a clue what was going on.

Sandy flashed Arthur a kind smile. His laughter began to calm down.

Arthur continued on with his standup. After it was all over he walked back stage. He was greeted with a small kiss on the cheek from Sandy.

"I'm so proud of you, Artie." Sandy smiled, putting her arms around his neck. "You did fantastic."

"Thank you." Arthur whispered gently, kissing Sandy on top of her head.

"I'd say that we should celebrate." Sandy giggled.

"Yeah? What did you have in mind?" Arthur asked, putting on his old yellow hoodie.

"Coffee?" Sandy suggested.

"Coffee." Arthur nodded.

Arthur and Sandy sat in a small red booth in a local diner down the street from Pogo's.

"Stop me if you've heard this one." Arthur laughed, childishly whilst flipping through his journal. "Why did the man enjoy having insomnia?"

Sandy smiled, rolling her eyes slightly. "Why?"

"Because he didn't have to sleep with his wife." Arthur laughed, closing his journal shut.

Sandy let out an ugly snort, and started laughing more.

Arthur smiled, admiring Sandy's laughter. "You have a nice laugh."

Sandy rolled her eyes. "You're just saying that, Arthur."

"I'm serious. I love making you laugh." Arthur said, holding her hand above the table.

Sandy blushed, looking away from Arthur's emerald eyes. "Thank you."

Arthur led Sandy out of the diner, after paying for the two coffees.

The luminous lights shined against the wet puddles scattered across the pavement.

Arthur stopped in his path, looking at a poster, stapled onto a telephone post.

Killer Clown On The Loose

The picture on the poster showed a vicious depiction of a clown.

Arthur mimicked the face the clown was making.

"Can you believe that shit?" Sandy asked, raising an eyebrow at the poster. Her eyes drifted away from the poster.

Arthur turned to Sandy.

"You know, they were the real monsters. I believe whoever did it is a hero. He got what he fucking deserved." Sandy snapped.

Arthur looked at Sandy, concerned yet proud. He wanted to tell Sandy, but he didn't want to hurt her more than what Dennis had already done.

"I cut up a dress tonight." Sandy confessed.

"Why?" Arthur asked.

"It reminded me of Dennis." Sandy looked down, trying not to cry. She turned away from Arthur.

"Sandy, Dennis is gone. He can't hurt you anymore. You're free." Arthur pulled Sandy into a hug from behind.

In the reflection of a storefront window, Sandy saw the woman that was freed and inside the arms of a the man who truely loved her.

"You're right, Arthur." She whispered, gently. "But, I'm still haunted by pain and torment he gave me." Sandy turned around to face him.

"Sandy, I love you." Arthur said, kissing Sandy on her lips.

Sandy welcomed the kiss. She felt safe in the arms of Arthur. She couldn't remember the last time she really felt safe.

Her eyes were shut in the moment of complete bliss.

Arthur was truly her everything.

Taglist: @princessgeekface, @gloomyladyy, @memory-mortis, @joker-flecked-me, @jokerfleckk, @mama-mischief.

[goffilolo]

Demise!Izuku as a Youtuber?

Yep! You heard me right. Demise server is a strange little land, full of strange little ideas, unfortunitely this one idea in particular wasn’t so little. So without further ado here’s all the shit we came up with in the server in regards to izuku as a youtuber within demise!au:

If Izuku was a YouTuber can you imagine the fucking chaos dumpster fire his channel would be

He's be like an edgy twink Jenna marbles(edited)

Doing Me time every damn day

bandit is jennas dogs

tenya is julien

He'd have weird ass videos like dipping bandits feet in red pet dye then putting a sign on him that says "you pet and you'll meet the last person who dared to"(edited)

And he's also make videos about him breaking into UA and interrupting classes and stuff

"hey gamers, today we're breaking into UA to see my boyfriend and read all of my friend's secret files"

And a video just of him filing Aizawa in weird places and at the end putting him on an inflatable mattress and watching him float away 

He wakes up in Canada

They don't know how or why

He just attaches a go-pro to trash bandit and let's him run wild. He probably has a seriesJust letting him loose in weird places

DONT LET TRASH BANDIT EAT AIZAWA'S SLEEPING BAG AT 3AM | VERY SCARY"hey guys so today ill be doing the 'How many bottles of quil can i steal before i get caught by Tsukabitch' challange. feel free to make a video of your own!" 

He probably dyes Bandit according to holidays and puts him as the profile picture. The kicker is, he only does it for holidays that his country doesn't celebrate

Like 4th of july

And Canada day

"Hewo soulless fuckers it is me your overlord, King of the soulless fuckers. Today I'll be going up to people in the streets and telling them that I killed God and Satan. But y'all know me, that's not enough. So I'll be asking them which one I killed first and if they get it wrong I take a shot of quil. The quil I'll be taking is the plain ol kind so don't worry your little marshmallow heads about it." 

He only makes text posts in OwO speak this just makes me realise demise!izuku would make a great youtuber

He would twitch stream all the time doing the weirdest shit for hours on end

"what is up gamews! today i wiww be weviewing the new game cawwed life! i have been pwaying it fow about 16 yeaws now and i have to say it's pwetty bad my guys!"

I feel like he'd be absurdly popular and whenever someone mentions him and they look up the channel they are like "wth have I stumbled upon?!"

I'm just imagining what his front page would look like

The seasonal trash bandit profile picture, the banner would be a flaming hellscape with people he dislikes burning and trash bandit looming on low opacity in the background 

(He made it so that only people who view it on TV get the full experience.)

He probably has his own segment on buzzfeed unsolved

Not talking

Its about him

The intro video would just be him staring into the camera while mixing together a horrible concoction of quil then downing it without breaking eye contact(edited)

His about section is written in 3 different types of code and it's all in owo if you manage to crack it

i love demise|!izuku as a youtube cryptid

Clown Speak and OwO speak mixed together

I feel like in the beginning Izuku was this obscure YouTuber that you only find out about if someone in the know tells you about it until a bigger YouTuber found him out on a deep dive video and just couldn't stop watching yes

i imagine once he gets big people from react channel would invite him to react to videos of people reacting to his videos 

What if in one of his videos he started acting like his old self just to freak everyone out. He didn't say anything about it instead he talked about hero analysis with a bright smile and trail off into muttering a few times only to blush when he realized it. He have his hair in a ponytail with only bangs framing his face and some messy pieces falling out. Also her be wearing something plain but like old Izuku, maybe hero merch or something. The comment section was just people flipping out and shit

He never acknowledges the video after he made it

No matter how many comments he gets he acts like it doesn't exist

omg you know wha tthat would actually allign with the demise and canon swap places for a da

yand you know what that gives me a lot of feels

the millions of subscribers get to see the old izuku

Maybe after a milestone he would post a video he made in middle school of him analyzing a quirk in video format to make sure it wouldn't get destroyed

And he put a couple videos of younger him after it

But it starts being supporting Izuku

And his present and past self and stuff

PEOPLE MAKE FAN ART first Its all full of trash and memes

What if that picture of canon Izuku meeting demise Izuku was a fan art someone made of his old self meeting the new him 

Kids from his class kinda Piecing together they really screwed up?Some even sending in apologies, perhaps

For mental health day I could see him posting a serious video about what he went through and his time in the mental hospital 

And on national stop bullying day he would talk about his decade of abuse including the details of how the school and teachers fucked up and everything aboutbakugou

izuku using youtrube for shitposting and advocating

And for mothers day he features both Rei and Inko?

Endeavor exposure video

What if Rei helped edit or something?To help pass the time for her

Give her something to do

People love the mysterious editor

I feel like villains watch his content like maybe Dabi

rei and fuyumi sometimes make appearances

Dabi just shows up in the videos

Quickly become faves

I feel like Dabi would become a fan and start crying after seeing his mom happy in one of Izuku's videos

"...and this is rei, my hospital mom and this if fuyumi, her daughter so like my sister she helps me keep my shit together and sometimes gives me quil.." 

dabi crying from seeing his mom happy in some lunatic's youtube videos

“...and this is shin, dont let the looks deceive you this man went to jail"

Shin comes in and covers the cameras a lot

FATHERS DAY IS A PICTURE OF TRASH BANDIT WITH HIS DADS VOICE SCRAMBLED OVER IT

“and this is the local florida woman and her alligator

WHAT IF BNHA VERSE HAD QUIRKLESS AWARENESS WEEKizuku would go ape shit during that week

"who needs a quirk when my dad gave me a gun!"

He would give axe sharpening tips

"Remember kids! Society won't help you, so you gotta help yourself!"

he would make 'how to cook videos' except it would only be quil combos

What if one day he just put quil in the ovenand pulled out a muffin

Remeber, don't try this at home kids." makes A horrifying quil combo "rememer never ever do this even if you have a quirk that allows it." downs the horror concoction

"so today were gonna do my boyriend does my makeup challange and since both me and tenya are dumb and know nothing i borrowed my mums makeup..." 

It’s a given he’s gonna do makeup tutorials. The real question is would they be good or absolutely horrendous?

good or horrendous? Both

Amazing makeup at horrendous things? Hmmm interesting

“Hey guys today I’m turning myself into a real like eldrich abomination with the help of eyeliner and glitter!”

izuku has a whole playlist of videos dedicated to tenya and UA

theyre all jsut shitposty compilations of some footage when tenya isnt looking

Even tho it looks like he couldn't give a fuck he is very selective with which footage makes it online. He's very careful at how much is revealed and makes sure no students or secret identities would be in danger with his content

izuku isnt stupid...hes jsut having a good time

Sneaking into UA highschool by hiding in pro hero eraserhead's sleeping bag | NOT CLICKBAIT

Izuku would totally play carefree and childish games while just being Izuku

Like his animal crossing series

Fucking legendary on his channel in terms of gaming

izuku's sims lets play

it's like a 10 generation long telenovela lowkey based off the todoroki family

He has no straight sims, he recreated UA and class 1a in sims

the wedding of sim izuku and sim tenya is like the biggest party in the sim neighbourhood

He creates endeavor just to lock him in a room with 50 ovens

Omg his draw my life has got to be super depressing

He'd be super blunt and monotone during his whole draw my life going through all of the abuse and bullying that he went through because of his quirklessness and also his suicide attempt and all that jazz(edited) 

izuku would paint on a potato

Izuku would make a get ready with me where he does something totally batshit crazy then ends it with "Ah. Yet another day in my life."

Izuku meets Marie Kondo

“Only keep what brings you joy”

“Well this gun from my father sure brings me joy”

Knifemaking videos but with axes

Izuku decided to do a wardrobe tour and like 4 things were bloodstained which he never addressed. The most popular comment was what happened, which of course he never answered.

Izuku does these new year (like all of the questions from last year) or milestone Q+A’s/AMA's which are basically people just asking a bunch of the things he wouldn't answer or address before. A lot of his viewers write down and timestamp when he does something and doesn't address it. If you don't you'll never hear an answer.

He has his boonk gang phrase which is probably like Bandit gang or some shit like that, which he shouts while breaking into places. UA dorm rooms, UA facility office, UA, Hero Agency’s, Endeavour's bedroom (Don't ask), etc. 

He has a variety of videos where he does things from different communities. For example he has a few hair tutorial and following hair tutorial videos. Same for makeup.I feel like Izuku would also have some dresses and slutty Halloween costumes that be put on in a video all while looking like someone who just had finals and was studying for 4 days straight beforehand.

At like 4AM a thought hit Izuku to have Trash Bandit meet Kouta for the first time and learn what his sheep talks about and what he has to say. Needless to say he took his camera, went to UA, stormed the dorms, went up to the shy kid sheep in hand, looked him dead in the eye, and asked “What is my sheep saying.” bandit speaks and Kouta goes from confused and slightly scared to disgusted and horrified. What did Bandit say? Who the fuck knows…

Izuku loves analysis and while he doesn't do it for heroes anymore when he misses it too much sometimes he does it with tv shows or other things.

Idk what yet but Izuku is weirdly good at something and only showed it on camera once. (He's casually known to be a good artist) Whatever he's good at he did it once for a video and it's in one of the most popular compilation videos of him. 15 minutes of Izuku being a cinnamon roll.

Izuku has a shit ton of videos featuring the UA kids. He has some playlists dedicated to certain ones even if all you see is the back of their head.

Any proceeds Izuku manages to get (he is popular but he gets demonetized a lot) goes to different charities for the quirkless.

He made only 1 serious cooking video on his birthday, but instead of using a knife he used an axe.

He has a video called “My sharp things (tour)” where he just shows off all of his knives and axes and shit along with a massive pair of scissors he got Momo to make.

Izuku makes videos of himself destroying endeavor merch while staring at the camera.

[eeveebethsylveon]

Fanfics!

Note: I don’t have a good working title for this story.

It’s basically just a knee-jerk response to the end of the fourteenth chapter in Probable Theorem (so if you haven’t read that, make sure you read it first so you know where I’m coming from!).

That ending bugged me, so I’m just doing what I do best: taking a fictional scenario I didn’t write which I honestly had a negative response to, and changing it into something I am happy with by inserting my own character.

Warning: spoilers if you haven’t read PT, and also if you have a problem with mad borderline-rabid dogs you probably shouldn’t read this.

I hope I punched enough Enters to get the “Read More” prompt so as to hide this from everyone who’s trying to avoid spoilers.  Okay, here goes...

Lily had a project in mind.

Her plan was to go out at night, try to find Prince Charging, and snap a couple of pictures of him helping people.  Then she’d string them together in a video and narrate over them how much good he was doing.

Maybe then people would get off his back, and others like him could relax.

At least, she hoped that he was special with unusual powers.  That’d make him just like her.

She tugged her black hoodie up a little higher over her brown hair.  She knew full well that the outfit she wore on these outings made her look like she was planning something shady: totally black shoes, black socks, black leggings, and the black hoodie, with the only color she actually had being metallic silver fingertips on her black gloves so she could use her phone.  Still, it couldn’t be helped, and at least whatever method Princey used to find wrongdoings didn’t include spotting weirdly-dressed weirdos.

Not that he was one to talk.

Lily actually already had a bunch of pictures of the guy.  There were a couple of standard “superhero takes down criminals” shots, but most of them were just shots of him helping people who needed a sympathetic ear - which was what she preferred having anyway, they made him look more human.  She just wanted a bit more footage first before making her video.

Then she rounded a corner and stopped dead.

There was Prince Charging - unconscious and being lifted up by a bunch of people in black ski masks who were clearly about to throw him into the back of the unmarked van nearby.

She quickly snapped off about five pictures before ducking into an alleyway and tucking her phone into a pocket.  No.  I’m not going to let this happen.

Zipping up the front of her hoodie to completely hide her face, she focused and began to change her shape.

This was her power.  When she was a kid, she loved animals: loved reading about them, loved pretending to be them.  And after a while, “pretending to be” became “actually becoming.”  The only limitation she seemed to have was, she always was stuck becoming whatever color clothing she was wearing, and if the clothing wasn’t at least the closeness of the average T-shirt and jeans it wouldn’t “go” with her.  Closing up the front of her hoodie was the only way she could make sure her creature of choice didn’t end up with a face the color of her hair.  She didn’t want to be distinctive when she did this: she just wanted to be a totally black dog with silver nails.

When she opened her blue eyes again, the group of people who now had Princey right next to the open doors of the van seemed taller.  Not too much taller, she’d gone for a sight hound that probably stood about to her human waist.  Smells were stronger now, and sounds were somewhat louder.

Okay...I’m not Princey’s dog, I’m just a stray dog who has a serious problem with people in black ski masks.  I’m ignoring him, no matter how much I want to make sure he’s okay.  And I need to prepare to do the unthinkable.

After a second to compose herself, she dashed out, snarling and barking.

The bozos in the masks didn’t even have time to react before she hit the nearest one, sinking her teeth into his leg.

With a yelp of pain, he dropped Princey.

Lily released him, dashed around and used Princey as a springboard to aim right at the ski mask of another clown.  That guy got his arm up and her fangs found flesh yet again, while her weight alone caused everyone else to drop Princey on the ground.

First victory attained, now time to make sure they’re too scared of me to attempt to pick him up again.

She continued snarling, lunging at each guy while staying out of arm’s reach at the same time, doing her best to keep her attention everywhere and not actually look like she was protecting the guy she was all but standing on.  That was easy enough, actually: bite the hand of the first person to reach towards Princey, then turn around and bite another guy, leap off Princey and dash around to pull the most cliche move ever and bite a fifth guy’s ass.  Then she decided to be extra terrifying and ran right across Princey to head straight for the next guy’s crotch - 

It was the balls-dash that did it.  Her teeth never connected with him as he panicked and shouted, “Let’s get out of here!” leaping into the van himself.

The rest all hurried into the van as well, slamming the doors in her face - which she didn’t mind; she didn’t want to be in the van, she just wanted to scare them even more - and driving off.

Lily ran after the van for a bit, still barking up a storm...and doing her best to memorize the license plate.  She was so calling the cops on their butts.

When she stopped, she acknowledged to herself that she wished she hadn’t had to bite those guys, because now her mouth felt absolutely vile.  Well, better make sure Princey’s okay after that dance I did on his body.

She turned around and slowly walked back to where Prince Charging had fallen.

And he wasn’t there.

Huh?  She sniffed around the place.  There was his scent, that “I take regular baths complete with shampooing my perfect hair thank you very much” mixed with lightning, but it didn’t have any new trail away from where he’d fallen.  It was just...wait...

There was a second scent.  A second male, one who yeah cared for hygiene though maybe not as much as Princey, and oh yeah liked himself a bit of makeup.

What was weird about that smell, though, was that while the smell did lead there, it didn’t seem to go anywhere.  Like he’d run over, picked up Princey, walked over his own scent trail for about three paces and then just...vanished.

Another one like me?

Well, there was no point dwelling on it.  She had a video to make and the police to call.

Stepping back into the alleyway, she returned to human form, unzipped her hoodie and pulled out her cell phone.  Once she got the police on the line, she set to work.  “Okay, I just witnessed an attempted abduction.  There were maybe six guys in black ski masks trying to shove Prince Charging into the back of an unmarked van.”  She gave them the license plate number.  “They didn’t succeed in their attempt - a stray dog ran over and chased them off.  What?  No, I don’t think the dog belonged to Prince Charging, it acted more like it had once been traumatized by people in ski masks or something.  It was more interested in chasing the van than staying with him.  But yeah, whenever you find them, you’ll find that most of them have been bitten by that dog.  And I hope you arrest them, because removing dangerous people from the street is your job, not theirs.  Vigilante justice shouldn’t be stopped by vigilante justice, that’s just begging for things to spiral out of control.  In fact, they’re more dangerous than Prince Charging.  I - what?  No, sorry, I’m not sure where he went.  I was watching the van drive away with the dog chasing after it, I looked back and he was gone.  Okay, you’re welcome.  Bye.”  Lily hung up and went back home.

~

She spent the rest of the night putting together her video, and then uploaded it to YouTube.  “Now it’s time to turn those guys into a hashtag.”  She’d heard that expression exactly once, and didn’t know what it actually meant other than it was probably bad.

The video started with a shot of Prince Charging, of course, while she rambled on about him, flipping between pictures as she changed topics.  Mostly what she was saying was that there was never going to be a chance that he’d run out of enemies to fight and therefore go into the “hero becomes the villain” trope, because finding enemies wasn’t all he did - he just helped people who needed help even when there wasn’t a bad guy.  And then she sprung the pictures of the guys in ski masks and proceeded to bad-mouth them.  After all, nobody wanted to root for people in ski masks outside of their original sport!  Everybody in movies who wore black ski masks when they weren’t skiing was a bad guy!  She even slapped up a comparifier picture with Princey on one side and a selected ski mask clown on the other just as a way of saying “I’m sorry, but Prince Charging even looks cooler than these guys!”  She ended the video with one more picture of Princey comforting somebody and the statement of “If he’s truly dangerous - and everybody has the capability of being dangerous, so that’s not even the question - then this anti-Prince group needs to just let the cops deal with him.  I actually hope they try to find him for the sake of hiring him as an assist or something, because he’s clearly on the same side as them.  And as for that dog that saved him?  Well...who knows where that dog went, but wherever it is, Prince Charging really owes it.”  (The dog wasn’t really in the video, since she couldn’t get a good picture of herself in that situation; she’d just drawn a picture that was as good a rendering of what the dog looked like as she could and stuck that in - black dog with gray nails and blue eyes, nailed it.)

~

She hit a hundred thousand Likes within the first six hours of it being up, and got about fifty subscribers to boot.

A week later, she went to the Prince Charging Fan Club; no real reason, it helped her feel less alone.  She also didn’t go in, because she didn’t really want to, she just felt like hanging out outside the building “dressed” as that dog.

Lily could hear her video playing inside - what was that, the eightieth time this week?  Anyway, the group was also discussing it, and it sounded like she’d come in at the tail end of the meeting.

She lay down in an alleyway near the front door, took a deep breath...and froze.

There was that scent again!  That “I take regular baths complete with shampooing my perfect hair thank you very much” mixed with lightning!  Prince Charging was inside the building!

She slowly pushed herself into a sitting position, staring at the door and barely aware of the meeting being called to a close.

People filed out, and the last to leave was a group of two.  One had a bandage on his face and...and he was the one the smell was coming from.

And he turned just a little to his left and their eyes met.

Lily couldn’t have moved if she’d tried.

[diianawonka]

Requested by  @pacifyprincess Hey! I just wanted to say that your work is awesome! Also, I have a request. So, I was wondering if you could do a Bill Skarsgard x reader where the reader is an actress and Bill’s wife as well and appears as Harley Quinn. Both get interviewed and are asked what a crossover would be like between the reader’s character (Harley Quinn) and Bill’s character, Pennywise. and then maybe a part 2 where they make the crossover happen with a skit on SNL (Saturday Night Live), please? Sorry, it’s long.         

Pairing: Bill Skarsgard x Reader   

A/N: excuse me for making you wait so long! I was having that writer’s block and I just have my mind in blank.. but here’s the first part of the crossover! I hope you like it and soooooorry for my horrible english…  If you have request for me to include in the second part, please let me know! :D

Title:  A couple of handsome psychopath clowns

She was wearing the dress that Bill had given her the night before, it was a dark red dress with a neckline that reached down to her lower back and was perfect for her figure, making her curves stand out. Bill had hesitated when he decided to pay for it and left it on the dressing table with a note telling her to wear it tonight, he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that other men put their eyes on her, on the other hand he was pleased to make everyone notice that she was his and the ring she wore in her left hand proved it, she had been his from the moment he saw her, but having married made it even more real.

Both were posing for the paparazzi, today was a special day for Y/N,  it was Suicide Squad Vol.2 world premiere, where she played Harley Quinn, just as she had done on the first film; Bill had his hand firmly on her lower back, right where the tremendous neckline ended, his gaze was slightly lowered, he was watching her, couldn’t believe how perfect she looked, he loved her eyes, her velvet lips with that mate lipstick that made them look even more fleshy and spectacular, he loved everything about her, he loved her simplicity and the fact that she looked beautiful without wearing an extravagant makeup, like most of  Hollywood’s stars do it.

He loved her, she was perfect and she was his.

Paparazzi were fascinated with the two of them, they kept shouting their names and asking them to keep posing and they did it, they continued posing for a few more minutes, even her movie colleagues appeared to pose with them for a few pictures; Bill walked away when he heard some fans screaming his name repeatedly, however  he wanted to give her some space and time to enjoy the premiere with her friends with whom she had worked hard over the last year; he signed some posters and took hundreds of pictures until he felt the presence of his wife next to him.. photobombing his pictures with the fans… they both laughed a little before starting to take pictures together along with the fans

They were perfect, they were naughty and playful, fans loved them, they used to called them ‘relationship goals’ all the time, the pictures proved, they were really so in love and they didn’t try to hide it, they even made people believe that ‘the other half’ really existed.

“Look at this, Bill!” She exclaimed excitedly, taking in her hands a manip of her and Bill characters Harley Quinn and Pennywise together, looked very authentic; Bill finished signing an autograph and approached her immediately, taking her waist gently and seeing above her shoulder what his beautiful wife wanted to show him…. The picture was fantastic.

“Are you serious?” Bill asked looking surprised at the fan…

“It’s like a fandom dream” the young woman said timidly from the other side of the fence that separated them “I would love for you both to sign it”

“Of course, we’ll do it!” Y/N replied as she signed it in a corner “did you edit it?” she asked playfully, watching the fan nod, she decided to leave a small note that said: you have born talent! Keep going on Girl! 😊 .  Bill hugged her from behind and rested his chin on her bare shoulder, Y/N gave him the silver sharpie so he could sign the picture too …

“It’s fantastic” He confesses with laughter and then they continued with the fans for a longer time; both had that ideology of spending as much time as possible with their fans, no matter how late they came to the interviews, even though their managers would get mad at them.

They reached the place where the reporters were waiting anxiously, there were already another actors like Jared Leto and Jai Courtney being interviewed; a reporter shouted Y/N name’s and she approached arranging some hair that had left it of place, behind her ear.

“Good evening, Y/N! How are you doing?” He greeted her cheerfully, the man was carrying a MTV microphone in his hands

“Oh Hello! Very well and you?” She replied kindly

“Wonderful, It’s great to see all the cast together again! It looks like everyone  is getting along fantastic!”

“Of course we do! We’re like a big dysfunctional family, y’know, since the first movie we had a very big bond and we always have a good time being together!” She approached the reporter a little bit, to let people pass behind her, she looked at Will Smith who noticed her and coming to greet her effusively, then she returned to the interview again.

“You look fantastic, Y/N!” He confessed “the fans were very excited to see you!”

“Thank you” she chuckled shyly “Bill surprised me by giving me this dress and I must accept that I love it and… about the fans… I think both of us were excited to see them… it’s amazing to feel so much support from them all the time, I really hope that they like the movie”

“I’m sure they will, you never disappoint us, dear! Bill is here with you tonight, am I right?”

“Yes, he’s here” She started looking for him in the crowd, but she couldn’t see him, maybe he was with some other reporter “well… He was here but now I don’t know where he is…” she laughed a little

“There he comes!” said the reporter pointing behind Y/N, who turned to look for him and meet with her favorite green-eyed boy who smiled to see her. Bill approached her and place his hand on her small waist “Hello Bill” the reporter greeted him

“Hello, how are you?” Bill asked him kindly

“Fantastic, it’s like a dream to have you both together for the first time as a married couple” They both laughed at notice his enthusiasm “I’m totally a fanboy I cannot deny it and I want to take advantage of the fact that I have both of you here together, to ask you guys:  do you know about the fandom’s crossovers?”

“mmmhn…. It depends” Y/N replied and Bill continued the phrase…

“…. If you mean those of Atomic Blonde and Kingsman (let’s suppose that you had also in Kingsman’ movies)  or the ones of Pennywise and Harley Quinn.. or…. I don’t know dude, the fandom has an extraordinary imagination”

“You’re right, they’re all fantastic, but the one that interests us most is Pennywise and Harley”

“Oh… actually, We just signed several manips of it… I’m very surprised about how talent these people are… I mean, they look even more real than the pictures we took as a couple” Y/N joked, looking at Bill “right, dear?”

He smiled at her “They’re really good”

“Yes, they are, I’ve seen too many, what do you think? How do you think a crossover between these two would be like?”

She sighed and looked at Bill for a response, but it seemed as if the question had taken him by surprise, so she decided to speak first “I think Harley wouldn’t mind to change The Joker for Penny and calling him ‘Puddin’” she said imitating the voice that commonly used to be in her role as Harley “from time to time…also I didn’t stop thinking about Pennywise the dancing clown giving me an erotic dance… you know, Magic Mike style” she joked placing her hand on Bill’s chest who laughed embarrassed feeling his cheeks burn.

“What do you think about, Bill?” asked the reporter trying not to laugh

“Well… I think Pennywise wouldn’t mind having a relationship with a psycho girl who walks all day in her underwear around the house… maybe she’s not a kid but I bet she taste as good as one”

“Yeaah, y’know, they’d be like the best psychopath clowns couple” She laughed kissing Bill on the cheek

“A couple of handsome psychopath clowns… don’t forget about it” the reporter laughed “by the way Y/N, I think everyone would love to see Pennywise dancing at Magic Mike’ style!”

“Don’t give her any idea!”

MASTERLIST

[uniquequotesonlife]

rhondastephens To Catch A Falling Cactus

Parenting: Are We Getting a Raw Deal?

Summer 1974. I’m 9 years old. By 7:30 am, I’m up and out of the house, or if it’s Saturday I’m up and doing exactly what my father, Big Jerry, has told me to do. Might be raking, mowing, digging holes, or washing cars. Summer 2016. I’m tiptoeing out of the house, on my way to work, in an effort not to wake my children who will undoubtedly sleep until 11 am. They may complete a couple of the chores I’ve left in a list on the kitchen counter for them, or they may eat stale Cheez-its that were left in their rooms 3 days ago, in order to avoid the kitchen at all costs and “not see” the list. If you haven’t noticed, we’re getting a raw deal where this parenting gig is concerned. When did adults start caring whether or not their kids were safe, happy, or popular? I can assure you that Ginny and Big Jerry were not whiling away the hours wondering if my brother and I were fulfilled. Big Jerry was stoking the fires of his retirement savings and working, and working some more. Ginny was double bolting the door in order to keep us out of the house, and talking on the phone while she smoked a Kent. Meanwhile, we were three neighborhoods away, playing with some kids we’d never met, and we had crossed 2 major highways on bicycles with semi-flat tires to get there. Odds are, one of us had crashed at some point and was bleeding pretty impressively. No one cared. We were kids and if we weren’t acting as free labor, we were supposed to be out of the house and out of the way. My personal belief is that the same “woman with too little to do”, that decided it was necessary to give 4- year old guests a gift for coming to a birthday party, is the same loon who decided we were here to serve our kids and not the other way around. Think about it. As a kid, what was your costume for Halloween? If you were really lucky, your mom jabbed a pair of scissors in an old sheet, cut two eye holes, and you were a ghost. If her friend was coming over to frost her hair and showed up early, you got one eye hole cut and spent the next 45 minutes using a sharp stick to jab a second hole that was about two inches lower than its partner. I watched my cousin run directly into a parked car due to this very costume one year. He was still yelling, “Trick or Treat” as he slid down the rear quarter panel of a Buick, mildly concussed. When my son was 3 years old, we had a clown costume made by a seamstress, complete with pointy clown hat, and grease makeup. His grandmother spent more having that costume made than she did on my prom dress. At some point in the last 25 years, the tide shifted and the parents started getting the marginal cars and the cheap clothes while the kids live like rock stars. We spend enormous amounts of money on private instruction, the best sports gear money can buy, and adhere to psycho competition schedules. I’m as guilty as anyone. I’ve bought the $300 baseball bats with money that should have been invested in a retirement account, traveled from many an AAU basketball game, or travel baseball game, to a dance competition in the course of one day, and failed to even consider why. Remember Hank Aaron? He didn’t need a $300 bat to be great. Your kid isn’t going pro and neither is mine, but you are going to retire one day and dumpster diving isn’t for the elderly. My brother and I still laugh about how, when he played high school baseball, there was one good bat and the entire team used it. Remember your clothes in the 70’s? Despite my best efforts to block it out, I can still remember my desperate need to have a pair of authentic Converse shoes. Did I get them? Negative. Oh, was it a punch in the gut when my mother presented me with the Archdale knock-offs she found somewhere between my hometown and Greensboro. Trust me. They weren’t even close. Did I complain? Hell, no. I’m still alive, aren’t I? We’ve got an entire generation of kids spitting up on outfits that cost more than my monthly electric bill. There were no designer baby clothes when we were kids. Why? Because our parents weren’t crazy enough to spend $60 on an outfit for us to have explosive diarrhea in or vomit on. Our parents were focused on saving for their retirement and paying their house off. The real beauty of it is that none of these kids are going to score a job straight out of college that will allow them to pay for the necessities of life, brand new cars, and $150 jeans, so guess who’s going to be getting the phone call when they can’t make rent? Yep, we are. Think back; way, way back. Who cleaned the house and did the yard work when you were a kid? You did. In fact, that’s why some people had children. We were free labor. My mother served as supervisor for the indoor chores, and the house damn well better be spotless when my father came through the door at 5:35. The battle cry went something like this, “Oh, no! Your father will be home in 15 minutes! Get those toys put away nooooow!” The rest of our evening was spent getting up to turn the television on demand, and only to what Dad wanted to watch. On weekends Dad was in charge of outdoor work and if you were thirsty you drank out of the hose, because 2 minutes of air conditioning and a glass of water from the faucet might make you soft. Who does the housework and yardwork now? The cleaning lady that comes on Thursday, and the landscaping crew that comes every other Tuesday. Most teenage boys have never touched a mower, and if you asked my daughter to clean a toilet, she would come back with a four page paper on the various kinds of deadly bacteria present on toilet seats. Everyone is too busy doing stuff to take care of the stuff they already have. But don’t get confused, they aren’t working or anything crazy like that. Juggling school assignments, extracurricular activities, and spending our money could become stressful if they had to work. I don’t recall anyone being worried about my workload being stressful, or my mental health in general. Jerry and Ginny had grownup stuff to worry about. As teenagers, we managed our own social lives and school affairs. If Karen, while executing a hair flip, told me my new Rave perm made me look like shit and there was no way Kevin would ever go out with my scrawny ass, my mother wasn’t even going to know about it; much less call Karen’s mother and arrange a meeting where we could iron out our misunderstanding and take a selfie together. Additionally, no phone calls were ever made to any of my teachers or coaches. Ever. If we sat the bench, we sat the bench. Our dads were at work anyway. They only knew what we told them. I can’t even conceive of my dad leaving work to come watch a ballgame. If I made a 92.999 and got a B, I got a B. No thinly veiled threats were made and no money changed hands to get me that A. Ok, full disclosure, in my case we would be looking at an 84.9999. I was the poster child for underachievement. Back in our day, high school was a testing ground for life. We were learning to be adults under the semi-vigilant supervision of our parents. We had jobs because we wanted cars, and we wanted to be able to put gas in our cars, and wear Jordache jeans and Candies. Without jobs, we had Archdale sneakers and Wranglers, and borrowed our mother’s Chevrolet Caprice, affectionately known as the “land yacht”, on Friday night. No one, I mean, no one, got a new car. I was considered fairly lucky because my parents bought me a car at all. I use the term “car” loosely. If I tell you it was a red convertible and stop right here, you might think me special. I wasn’t. My car was a red MG Midget, possibly a ’74 and certainly a death trap. Look at your coffee table. Now imagine it having a steering wheel and driving it. I promise you, it’s bigger than my car was. The starter was bad, so after school I had the pleasure of popping the hood and using two screwdrivers to cross the solenoids or waiting for the football players to come out of the dressing room headed to practice. Those guys pushing my car while I popped the clutch, is a memory no 16-year old girl around here will ever have, and it’s a great one. Had I driven that car in high winds, it’s likely I would have ended up airborne, and there were probably some serious safety infractions committed the night I took 6 people in togas to a convenience store, but I wouldn’t go back and trade it out for a new 280Z, even if I had the chance. I was a challenging teenager, and in retrospect the fact that it was pretty impressive every time I made it home alive, may not have been an accident on the part of my parents. Go to the high school now. These kids are driving cars that grown men working 55 hours a week can’t afford, and they aren’t paying for them with their jobs. And those new cars don’t do a thing for telling a good story. I tell my kids all the time, the very best stories from my teen and college years involve Ann’s yellow Plymouth Duster with the “swirling dust” graphic, Randy’s Valiant with the broken gas gauge, and Carla’s burgundy Nissan that may or may not have had a complete floorboard. A story that starts, “Remember that time we were heading to the beach in Carla’s Nissan and your wallet fell through the floorboard onto the highway?” is so much more interesting than, “Remember that time we were going to the beach in your brand new SUV, filled up with gas that your parents paid for, and the…well, no, never mind. Nothing happened. We just drove down there.” To top it all off, most of them head off to college without a clue what it’s like to look for a job, apply for it, interview, and show up on time, as scheduled. If they have a job, it’s because someone owed their dad a favor…and then they work when it “fits their schedule”. We all love our kids, and we want to see them happy and fulfilled, but I fear we’re robbing them of the experiences that make life memorable and make them capable, responsible, confident adults. For the majority of us, the very nice things we had as teenagers, we purchased with money we earned after saving for some ungodly amount of time. Our children are given most everything, and sometimes I wonder whether it’s for them or to make us feel like good parents. The bottom line is that you never value something you were given, as much as something you worked for. There were lessons in our experiences, even though we didn’t know it at the time. All those high school cat fights, and battles with teachers we clashed with, were an opportunity for us to learn how to negotiate and how to compromise. It also taught us that the world isn’t fair. Sometimes people just don’t like you, and sometimes you’ll work your ass off and still get screwed. We left high school, problem solvers. I’m afraid our kids are leaving high school with mommy and daddy on speed dial. We just don’t have the cojones our parents had. We aren’t prepared to tell our kids that they won’t have it if they don’t work for it, because we can’t bear to see them go without and we can’t bear to see them fail. We’ve given them a whole lot of stuff; stuff that will break down, wear out, get lost, go out of style, and lose value. As parents, I suppose some of us feel pretty proud about how we’ve contributed in a material way to our kid’s popularity and paved an easy street for them. I don’t, and I know there are many of you that are just as frustrated by it as I am. I worry about what we’ve robbed them of, which I’ve listed below, in the process of giving them everything. Delayed gratification is a really good thing. It teaches you perseverance and how to determine the true value of something. Our kids don’t know a damn thing about delayed gratification. To them, delayed gratification is waiting for their phone to charge.Problem-solving skills and the ability to manage emotion are crucial life skills. Kids now have every problem solved for them. Good luck calling their college professor to argue about how they should have another shot at that final because they had two other finals to study for and were stressed. Don’t laugh, parents have tried it.Independence allows you to discover who you really are, instead of being what someone else expects you to be. It was something I craved. These kids have traded independence for new cars and Citizen jeans. They will live under someone’s thumb forever, if it means cool stuff. I would have lived in borderline condemned housing, and survived off of crackers and popsicles to maintain my independence. Oh wait, I actually did that. It pisses me off. You’re supposed to WANT to grow up and forge your way in the world; not live on someone else’s dime, under someone else’s rule, and too often these days, under someone else’s roof.Common sense is that little something extra that allows you to figure out which direction is north, how to put air in your tires, or the best route to take at a certain time of day to avoid traffic. You develop common sense by making mistakes and learning from them. It’s a skill best acquired in a setting where it’s safe to fail, and is only mastered by actually doing things for yourself. By micromanaging our kids all the time, we’re setting them up for a lifetime of cluelessness and ineptitude. At a certain age, that cluelessness becomes dangerous. I’ve seen women marry to avoid thinking for themselves, and for some it was the wisest course of action.Mental toughness is what allows a person to keep going despite everything going wrong. People with mental toughness are the ones who come out on top. They battle through job losses, difficult relationships, illness, and failure. It is a quality born from adversity. Adversity is a GOOD thing. It teaches you what you’re made of. It puts into practice the old saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. It’s life’s teacher. Our bubble-wrapped kids are so sheltered from adversity, I wonder how the mental health professionals will handle them all after the world chews them up and spits them out a few times. I know you are calling me names right now, and mentally listing all the reasons this doesn’t apply to you and your kid, but remember I’m including myself in this. My kids aren’t as bad as some, because I’m too poor and too lazy to indulge them beyond a certain point. And I’m certainly not saying that our parents did everything right. God knows all that second hand smoke I was exposed to, and those Sunday afternoon drives where Dad was drinking a Schlitz and I was standing on the front seat like a human projectile, were less than ideal; but I do think parents in the 70’s defined their roles in a way we never have.I worry that our kids are leaving home with more intellectual ability than we did, but without the life skills that will give them the success and independence that we’ve enjoyed. Then again, maybe it’s not parents that are getting the raw end of this deal after all. source Read the full article

[oldfashionedswiftcurse]

Alwyn vs. Swift Pt. 3

A few weeks had passed, and Joe was still as persistently in lust with Taylor. As per their agreement, Taylor refused to lose this “challenge” that Joe had created for them. Her first two dates were with two of Rebecca’s friends, and while the guys were nice, Taylor knew that it wasn’t enough to start anything serious. Her last date was unexpected, and she was actually excited for it. 

Martin, one of the members of Joe’s band, made the decision to ask her out during one of their late night pub crawls. He was nervous, and she knew that despite being friends with Joe, he didn’t have the same air of haughtiness, or at least didn’t publicly show it the way Joe did. When Martin showed up at her townhouse armed with a bouquet of flowers, Taylor blushed immediately and put them in water as soon as possible. He was dressed in a light blue dress shirts, trousers, and loafers, and she grew nervous at her own outfit: a fitted red lace dress.

           She followed behind him as he led them to a brightly lit restaurant, an Italian place. He was an only child with happily married parents who adored him and naturally spoiled him (he blushed while mentioning this). Similarly, he wanted to start his own record company and keep producing quality music for a long time. Taylor told him about her own family, conveniently leaving out her mother’s abandonment. She didn’t want to scare Martin about her mommy issues on their first date. Afterward, they walked hand in hand to a park where Martin surprised her with a movie under the stars. It was thoughtful and romantic that is until she spotted Joe and his date, Janet. Taylor couldn’t help the biting sting of jealousy that she felt at seeing them.

           As Martin set up their blanket, Taylor went to the food stand to pick them up some popcorn and drinks. Suddenly, she felt a pair of warm hands on her waist and knew that Martin wouldn’t have been so brash on their first date. She stiffened and smirked when she saw Joe’s grinning face.

           “You look marvelous tonight,” he whispered into her ear. “It’s such a pity that you’re not coming home with me.”

           She rolled her eyes and turned to face him.

           “Such a pity,” she muttered sarcastically, glancing around to make sure Martin didn’t see their interaction. “What are you doing here?”

           “Ah, curious about my night’s activities, are you love? Well, I’m on a date as well, a very nice girl. You may have met her, Janet.”

           Taylor paused.

           “Of course you’d ask out the girl that had total heart eyes for you just yesterday. Safe move,” she teased, and he eyed her wickedly.

           “Are you jealous, Swift? Who did you end up going out tonight with anyway?”

           Taylor nodded her head over to where Martin was sitting, and Joe’s smile carefully turned into a frown.

           “Safe choice as well,” he began, picking up two bags of popcorn. “Martin is a great guy, really. He’s nice and manageable…he reminds me of my grand mum honestly. Maybe not the best choice for a spitfire like you though.”

           “Sometimes, people can surprise you. Naturally, you’d expect us to be most compatible because people have this wrong interpretation of hatred and sexual chemistry.”

           “Mhm,” he mumbled, wrapping his hand around her waist. “Sometimes, it’s the right interpretation. There’s no one I’d rather make love to right now than you.”

           She froze, making sure he couldn’t see her red cheeks.

           “I’m just another challenge to you, Joe. You only want me because you can’t have me.”

           “That’s not true, love. I want you for so many reasons that I’ve lost track of them all.”

           She glanced around, and surely enough, Martin was looking for her.

           “Show me the real you, Joe Alwyn. I don’t want the playboy popular guy or the soulful indie singer. Maybe that’s what makes you and Martin so different. All I know about you is that you want to get into my pants.”

           Joe froze, and Taylor walked away. When she returned to Martin, she found Joe’s eyes still locked on her. Snuggling close into Martin’s shoulder, she clasped his waist tightly and knew how jealous this would make Joe. At the end of the night, once the movie was over, Taylor turned to Joe. Despite being engaged in a liplock with Janet, every time that he would come up for air, he would glance over at her. She anticipated this, so that when he separated from Janet as the credits rolled, Taylor kissed Martin. It took him by surprise, but he reciprocated immediately, and she felt the gentle touch of his lips against hers. It was nice and sweet, but it was not the passion she had desired for her whole life. Taylor began to realize that maybe passion wasn’t the most important ingredient in relationships. She had all the passion in the world with Joe, but even she could predict the eventual downfall of that relationship.

           Martin walked her back home, and Taylor fell asleep thinking about that night. The only problem was that she wasn’t thinking about the way Martin’s lips felt against her; she was thinking of the way Joe’s fingers felt around her waist.

             The next day, Rebecca told Taylor about a party at someone’s flat. Although everyone was going, Taylor decided to stay in for the night. Rebecca invited her over to her mansion of a house, and the girls decided to make it a movie/game night. The girls tied their hair back, threw on some sweatpants, and proceeded to play Monopoly with The Notebook playing in the background. They ordered a pizza, and eventually, Taylor was not only sans makeup but she also had greasy fingers and a competitive look on her face when Joe stumbled in.

           “Well, well, well, what do we have here?”

           “Joseph, if you even think about taking a picture of us like this, I will kick your arse all the way to America. Right, Tay?”

           Taylor giggled at Rebecca’s idea of a joke, but she acquiesced.

           “You look all dressed up,” she admitted, eyeing him slowly.

           He was wearing a white button-up shirt that showed off his tanned biceps, and his jeans fit him perfectly. Taylor gazed at him, amazed at how put together he looked. He always looked so put together. Within seconds, she caught a whiff of his cologne, and it smelled intoxicating. When she made eye contact with him, she found him smirking back at her.

           “You’ve chosen a night of pizza and games over a night of drinking and dancing?”

           Taylor nodded triumphantly.

           “I’m impressed, Swift. You’re my type of girl.”

           At that moment, Joe reached for his cell phone, calling someone.

           “Sorry, love. I’ve decided to spend a night in tonight. Enjoy the festivities,” he said playfully, and Taylor knew he had called Janet.

           “You know, if you expect to win this challenge, you can’t cancel on your girlfriend,” Taylor admitted, and Rebecca groaned in disgust.

           “I can’t believe you actually made a bet with him, Taylor. At any given time, he has about ten ongoing bets, each one more disgusting than the next.”

           “Becks, I think Taylor is old enough to make her own decisions. If she decides to fall for a gambler like me, who can blame her?”

           Both girls groaned in disgust, and Joe chuckled.

           “So who’s winning?”

           He took a seat next to Taylor, throwing his cell phone on the sofa behind them. She couldn’t deny how attractive it was that he didn’t need to be glued to his phone at all times. Downing a slice of pepperoni pizza in a few bites, Joe managed to catch up to both girls, despite their pleas that he had cheated. Before Taylor’s last move, which she was positive would ensure her victory, Joe began to speak.

           “You know, it’s scary how rigged these games can be.”

           “You’re just mad because Taylor’s going to win,” Rebecca stated.

           “Yeah, Joe. Don’t be a sore loser.”

           “All it takes is one wrong move by the victor, and they are the victor no more. Sometimes, it can even be something that happens to the victor,” he stated, emphasizing the “to.”

           At that moment, Joe lunged for Taylor’s abdomen and began to tickle her. In her fit of giggles, she knocked over the game board, and Joe chuckled in victory. She clutched her abdomen in defense, but Joe broke through every defense with his nimble fingers. After she had surrendered in defeat, Joe began to clean up their mess while Rebecca yawned.

           “I’d walk you out, Tay, but I think I may collapse from exhaustion,” she said, barely able to stand up straight.

           “It’s fine. I’ll help Joe clean up, and then I’ll find my way out of this maze,” she muttered, gesturing to the large, mostly vacant house.

           After Rebecca left, they spent a few minutes in silence cleaning up. Eventually, Joe broke the silence.

           “We can clean our heads off, and my parents still won’t notice anything,” he joked, but Taylor could feel there was something deeper to this particular joke.

           “How often are they home?”

           “Less often than is optimal for two children in dire need of parental supervision. Becks and I have experimented with all kinds of nannies, but nothing beats the real thing,” he said sadly.

           “My dad’s hardly around too. He’s always working or golfing or anything to avoid spending any time with me.”

           “I’m sorry, love.”

           “If your parents knew what amazing kids they had, they would be here in a heartbeat. Parents are weird like that, I guess.”

           “Can I show you something?” Joe questioned, and Taylor reluctantly nodded.

           He reached for her hand, and she knew that she shouldn’t take it, but she did. Wrapping her right hand in his left, Joe led her outside to a large tree house perched in their backyard. He led her up the wooden ladder until they were finally in the dimly lit room. To her right, Taylor spotted pictures and pictures of Joe and his friends, Joe and Rebecca, and Joe with multiple strange women who she now knew were his many nannies. To her left, she found a shoddily made bed, a desk, and a shelf filled with different kinds of trophies, awards, and ribbons.

           “You won all of these?” She asked, separating from him to run her hands over his achievements. 1st place in a local Karate championship. 1st place in the school spelling bee. Most Likely to Become Prime Minister on a ribbon. Class Clown on a medal. High grades in all of his classes. 1st place in a school music competition.

           “You’re sort of amazing at everything,” she whispered, and she turned to find him with his hands in his jeans pockets watching her. “Now I know where the cockiness comes from.”

           He chuckled behind her, moving closer.

           “I tried everything. I told my parents when I was picking up a new hobby or if I got the highest grades on an exam because I just wanted them to be there, you know? They showed up the first few times, but then they just stopped. When I did well, they didn’t notice.”

           “So you tried being bad?” She teased, and he chuckled once more.

           “Something like that. I got suspended a few times, and they needed a parent to come and sign me out. Eventually, they managed to maneuver the system. They gave my fucking nannies parental supervision to sign me out just so they wouldn’t have to show their faces.”

           Taylor paused, turning to face Joe. His head was tilted to the floor, his eyes growing sadder with each passing second. She saw him kick at the floor, even though there was nothing there.

           “Joe…your parents are idiots,” she muttered, reaching for his chin.

           She lifted his head to face her, smiling at him.

           “So what if they’ll never realize how caring and selfless their children are? You’ll always have someone who won’t hesitate to scream that from the rooftops. I can do it right now if you want me to,” she said, moving toward the door.

           “No, no,” he said, laughing. “I don’t need my neighbors to know about how awesome I am. They catch a glimpse every day.”

           “How do you do that?” She asked, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “How do you jump from gut-wrenchingly honest to this persona so quickly?”

           “Years of practice, I guess,” he admitted, eyeing her. “It’s a defense mechanism, Taylor. I can’t help the way I am.”

           “I know,” she whispered gingerly. “After my mom abandoned my dad and me, I learned all about coping. It was the worst time of my life.”

           “Did you ever find out why she left?”

           There was a look of genuine concern on his face.

           “My dad said she wasn’t ready to be a mom. I think that’s a cheap excuse. I think my dad resented me a little bit after that because I was the reason he lost the love of his life.”

           “Bullshit. You’re supposed to be the love of his life. You’re his damn child, for God’s sake,” Joe said angrily.

           “I think our parents are just really messed up, and I don’t think they deserved to have children at all. You know, I didn’t need a huge house or a new car every year or anything like that. I’d give anything for just one night watching TV or making dinner or…it’s stupid, I know.”

           “It’s not,” Joe muttered, reaching for her hand. “It’s what you deserve at the least. You’re amazing, Taylor.”

           They held hands for about a minute, and Taylor scanned the tree house.

           “How many times have you slept out here?”

           “A few. I did it once during a thunderstorm with Becks, and it was the funniest thing. Our nanny couldn’t find us and started screaming our names. Eventually, when she found us, she laughed it off though.”

           Taylor yawned, apologizing.

           “Sleep over,” Joe said, motioning toward the bed. “I’ll take the floor. You’re too tired to go home right now.”

           She paused, but acquiesced once she fell onto the mattress. They continued talking for the rest of the night, and Taylor fell asleep somewhere in the middle of a conversation.

[peggyshippenarnold]

100 asks oh boy

I was tagged by @sewingamerica​

Meaning behind my URL: It’s her name, I was not being particularly creative when I made her.

A picture of me: Pass.

How many tattoos i have and what they are: None, but I’ve got one picked out, I just need to actually get it. 

Last time i cried and why: A couple of days ago, we watched Disney’s Tarzan, and little old adopted me loses my shit every time I watch it. 

Favorite band: Great Big Sea, now and forever

Biggest turn offs:  Elitism.  I despise people who think they’re better than others for stupid reasons. 

Top 5 (insert subject): I’m picking serial killers, because I find them fascinating.  Richard Ramirez, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, David Berkowitz and The Zodiac Killer

Tattoos i want: My cat is named after an Egyptian Pharaoh named Akhenaten, and I want to get the cartouche of his name in honor of him. 

Biggest turn ons: Casual touching.  I’m a very tactile person and when someone I care about touches me while we’re talking...it just gets me going. 

Age: 27

Ideas of a perfect date: Something simple, getting coffee and going for a walk or just finding a place to sit and talk, I love that sort of thing. 

Life goal: I just want to stable.  I want to be able to provide a good and comfortable life for my family. 

Piercings i want: I’ve already got two in each ear and my nose pierced, that’s all I need.

Relationship status: Single

Favorite movie: In the Heart of the Sea, I can’t count how many times I’ve see it since it came out.

A fact about my life:  I’m technically a professional figure skater.  I was never all that good or anything, but I had to file for professional status to be able to get paid for the choreography I was doing.

Phobia: Clowns. I’ve been terrified of them since early childhood and it’s never faded.

Height: 5'3"

Are you a virgin?  Ha. No, and if you know me, you know that story.

What is your shoe size?  8H

What’s your sexual orientation? Straight

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?  I drink on occasion, I love a good glass of wine, but I don’t do it much.

Someone you miss: My mother.  We’re close, but I live in another city and we don’t see each other as much as we used to.

What’s one thing you regret?  Trying to be more grown up than I actually was and missing out on a big chunk of my teenage years. 

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: Alexander Skarsgard 

Favorite ice cream?  There’s this place in my town called “King Cone” and they make their own ice cream and it’s the best place in the world. 

One insecurity: My hair, I always used to get made fun of because of it and that’s hard to get past, even as an adult.

What my last text message says:  “Are you okay with picking us up whenever you’re done?” 

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? Oh yeah, one does want to experiment a bit. 

Have you ever slept naked?  Yeah, in a bathtub after a night of drinking.  I don’t recommend it

Have you ever stole money from a friend?  No

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?  Yes. I don’t recommend that either. 

Have you ever been in a fist fight?  Just with the cat, and it was him smacking me in my sleep and me accidentally back-handing him off the bed. 

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?  Has anyone ever not had this happen? It’s like Liam Neeson doesn’t even know I exist...

Have you ever been arrested?  No

Have you ever made out with a stranger?  Yes

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?  All the time

Have you ever been lonely?  Yes

Have you ever been to a club?  Yes

Have you ever felt an earthquake?  No, but I just barely missed a massive one when I left Peru

Have you ever touched a snake?  Yes.

Have you ever ran a red light?  Yes, but it was late at night and I stopped and then went, essentially I treated it like a stop sign instead of a red light, no one else was around. 

Have you ever been in a car accident?   Yes, but it wasn’t serious, thankfully.

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Oh yeah. 

Have you ever sang karaoke? Never.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?   Constantly.

Have you. ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes.

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?   Yep. He was 10 years older, but it felt right in the moment.

Have you ever dreamed that you married someone?   Yes.

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?  No

Have you ever gone to school partially naked?  No

Have you ever brushed your teeth?   Um...yeah, multiple times a day.

Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?  No way, that’s the best way to watch them.

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?  Never.

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?  Yeah, at Walmart the other day, and the guy was super sweet about it, actually.

Have you ever broken a bone?  A couple of toes, and I smashed the ever-loving hell out of my thumb, to the point it was just bone fragments in there.

Have you ever been easily amused? Always.

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?  Of course.  My best friend and I laugh so hard every time we get together and read the “Carrot Facts” Twitter.

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?  Yes.

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?   Yes.

Give us one thing about you that no one knows: I bit my toenails until I was like...15.

What was your last dream?  I honestly don’t remember...

Would you be up for interplanetary travel if it was a thing?  I couldn’t, I have blood that can’t even handle high altitude, let alone space.

If you could travel back in time, where would you go? Ancient Egypt, for sure.

Do you dread doctor visits or do they not bother you? It depends on which doctor it is.

Favorite fashion decade of the twentieth century? The 50′s! I loved their style, but would never go there, because I’m half black and that’s the last thing I need to deal with. 

Are you wearing nail polish and if so, what color? Nope.

Are you into working out or no? Not at all.

Do you have a temper?  Oh yeah! 

Do you have one item you treat yourself with, if so, what is it?  Ice cream

Do you eat meat?  Yes

If yes, how do you like it cooked?  Medium-Well

Ever had a boss or a teacher you absolutely hated?  Yeah, my job right after high school, he was the worst and super gross.

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?  Coffee.

Do you wear makeup?  Yep, but usually just eyeliner and mascara

If you wear perfume, what’s your scent type/favorite fragrance?  I don’t even know if they still make it, but I always loved Music by Gwen Stefani

Do you have a girl crush?  Of course. 

Candles, wax melts, or incense?  Wax melts

Favorite season of the year?  Fall

Fanfic—do you prefer smut or fluff?   Fluff

Do you like taking selfies?  No, but I try to when I occasionally look half-way decent.

Do you want children? Why not? Um...I feel as though that ship has sailed.

Do you prefer lots of friends or just a few good friends?  A few good ones

Introvert or extrovert, or a mixture of both?  Introvert

Ocean/beach or mountains?  Beach

Morning person or night person?  Night.

Do you initiate conversations with strangers?  No.

Milk or dark chocolate?  It depends on the day, but usually milk.

What do you post on your blog?  RP stuff

Is it hard for you to apologize when you’re in the wrong?   Not at all

Love at first sight? Of course.

Best/funniest Halloween memory?  I went as Brian Orser for Halloween, no one knew who I was except my close friends, but it was a blast. 

Did your first crush work out or was it unrequited?  Unrequited.

Do you like old movies—and by old, I mean OLD old?  Only old horror movies.

Do you tan or burn?  Tan

Do you think people deserve second chances? Yes.

What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?   Elephants, I’d own a whole herd

Do you have any weird food likes/dislikes? When I was pregnant my favorite food was Strawberry ice cream with crushed up peanutbutter cups and I still like it.

What’s the funniest real person’s name you’ve ever heard? I live in Wisconsin, everyone, myself included, has crazy, long German last names. 

[jiwonasbae]

5 Unwritten Romance

Unwritten Romance

(Bobby X Reader X June)

Genre: School, Romance, Smut, Fluff.

Warning: Sometimes Mature Content

 Summary: My mom always told me that bad boys, always break your heart, and if I want to start my romantic life, in the university I could make it happen!

 You know to be with a cute man who could love me back, but being honest, I’m behind being popular or even cute  ( Or that is what I think), so my romantic life hasn’t been that great.

But it seems like my romantic life, will not go as I planned.

 Being friends, with handsome men, isn't easy at all.

Words: 2022

PART 1  PART 2 PART 3 PART 4  PART 5 PART 6

 READER POV

 I Got quite drunk, and I can't remember what happened last night. The last thing I could remember is kissing June, and before that, my mind is just blank.

I try to reach for my phone, and when I turn to find it, it seems isn't there, I try to sit, rubbing my eyes, trying to see, when a headache hit me hard.

 Y/N: Oh my god, I barely remembered what a hangover is... 

But then I suddenly feel something move under my bed sheets.

What?

I Started to panic, what I have done? I checked my clothes, and I was still wearing my blouse that I used yesterday but I have nothing but just my panties.

I lifted the bed sheet slowly to see what or who was.... when I discovered a sleepy Bobby on my bed.

What? What? What happened?

But then I started to see everything clear, It wasn't my bed, nonetheless my room. What have I done?

He then turned facing me, his face just inches away from mine, I could see his eyelashes and his milky skin, somehow my hand reached his lips trying to touch them, but then he put his arm just in my waist and pulled me towards him, ( Did he see me?) I was breathing, just next to him, and his aroma started to make me feel like hypnotised, I couldn't move at all, but then I started to feel his hard dick against my hips, and my pores started to feel excited just knowing he was this hard, I feel the urge of kissing him.

When I tried to get close to his lips, he seemed to be waking up, I just lie down again pretending to be asleep. Oh my god.

 Jiwon: She is still sleeping.

He strokes my hair, and kiss my hair, but his hand traveled to my butt, and give me a hard squeeze. I could feel the wetness hit in.

 Jiwon: Damn, she is so sexy, but not yet.

 He grabbed his phone and started to dial...

Not Yet? What does that mean? Who is he calling?

 Jiwon: Hyung, how is June? Oh, She is still sleeping...

June? What Happened to him?

Jiwon: Yeah don't worry, I will take care of her. See you later.

What happened last night?

 He stands and went straight to the bathroom, I could hear the water running, I decided to check his phone, with who he talked? But it was blocked with ID touch, I was thinking to leave, but I don't know what happened, and I am not the kind of person who runs, So I decided to face it.

 I sit on his bed, trying to look for my phone, but nothing.

I lost it.

His room seems different of what I could think, it was clean and neat, too much white, just the way I like it?

I Grabbed one of the water bottles next to his desk, and saw a lot of things written, they seemed like lyrics, that would explain the keyboard, maybe he is a musician or something like that.

 I pick one of the music sheets, trying to understand what those could mean. I was immersed reading the lyrics, that I didn't notice the water stopped.

 Jiwon: Is it that bad?

 He says that placing himself behind me, I could smell his shampoo and feel the fresh aroma of his skin just washed, and my body quite like that sensation, his fresh skin against mine.

 I said nothing, I was just watching him semi-naked, his torso seemed like it was chiseled by the Gods themselves, only the towel covered what was necessary.

 Jiwon: Did the hangover, make you voiceless?

Y/N:  No, I just... that, I was reading.

Jiwon: Is Bad?

Y/N: Y/N:  In fact, it was quite interesting, Are they songs?

Jiwon: Ideas of songs

Y/N: I see ( Why can't I stop to staring at his body)

Jiwon: Like what you see? Should I remove the towel as well?

Y/N: I should say that Isn't that bad, but keep it. For now.

Jiwon: You didn't say the same yesterday.

 He said that while putting some gray pants, he isn't wearing any underwear, I blushed thinking that.

 Y/N: Wait, what? Yesterday? What happened?

 Jiwon: Relax, nothing happened, I was kidding but it could happen now if you want. Almost happened.

Y/N: Are you sure of that?

 While he was drying his hair with the towel but he turned and then he winked at me, and I blushed. But then he offers me some pills.

 Jiwon: Take two, will help with your headache.

Y/N: Thank you, in fact, I was dying.

 I completely forgot that I was mad at him, for yesterday, I was feeling well, better than I could say. I grab the water and then I swallowed the pills.

 Jiwon: Jiwon: You can take a shower, I will lend you some clothes, it seems like you need it.

 Y/N: Do I? Wait. Oh yes! I forgot I am just in panties.

Jiwon: You look awesome like that.

 I suddenly go to the bathroom, and I see myself in the mirror, my hair seemed a nest of birds, and the makeup that Jane made for me yesterday, was now the makeup of a clown, my blouse was full of strange liquids, oh my god! I turned and see Bobby calm, he was not even laughing.

 Y/N: Why you didn't tell me?

Jiwon: About what?

Y/N: About me looking like a clown?

Jiwon: You don't look like a clown, You look sexy in fact, wait I already told you that...

 He laughs, he is gorgeous smiling.

 Y/N: I am a big mess!

 Jiwon: Well I won't say that you look like the prettiest girl, but don't overreact.

 Y/N: Well, isn't like this, how I want you to see me.

 Jiwon: How is that?  I prefer naked if you ask.

 Y/N: Nevermind, I will take your clothes, if you are still willing to lend it.

 Jiwon: Of course "Cupcake".

 I was speechless watching him he said that with a very serious face, but he wasn't even joking. I closed the door and started to undress.

 Will he come?

 BOOBY POV

 Now that she entered the room, I put a shirt over, and go to the kitchen so I can bring her some food.

Yesterday I decided to show her my real self, and not the playboy, she thinks I am, well somehow I am like that too.

 Because of yesterday's party, we were alone, although her room was next to ours, she couldn't even talk and her roommates disappeared, everyone just vanished and I don't know where the purse or the telephone is.

 I opened the refrigerator and bring some eggs and toasts, and then I started to make some coffee. When I was done cooking, I could hear the water still running,

 I bring two mugs with coffee and the breakfast to my room and put some music.

I made the bed, fixed my hair and put my favorite lotion on.

 She comes out of the bathroom, and she was beautiful and flawless, with my clothes she looks so sexy, that made my dick twitch.

 Y/N: Oh wow! Did you prepare everything?

Jiwon: Yes, of course, come sit, here some coffee.

 She is beautiful, and I could say some of my ego inflated, just to know that she smells just like me.

 Y/N: Thank you! But can you explain me, please? I don't remember anything.

 She said that while eating, she was hungry.

 Jiwon: Of course, but first of all, I would like to apologize, it seems like we are not in the best terms.

Y/N: Yeah, I would say that I have been always rude towards you. So I'm sorry as well.

Jiwon: So I will tell you the truth, before our conversation outside the bathroom, I left with Hanbin, to drink some beers.

Y/N: Mmmm ok.

Jiwon: I was having a deep conversation when June called me.

Y/N: June leave?

Jiwon: I don't know what happened with June, he just told me that something happened at home, and he needs to leave. He asked for my car keys, and I went to see him, and give it the keys.

Y/N: What about me? How I ended here?

Jiwon: Mmm you were dancing with this roommate of you, and you guys were dancing like in a stripper place... doing sexy waves and that kind of stuff.

Y/N: I can't believe you, you are lying.

Jiwon: No I am not. In fact, I enjoyed the view as well.

Y/N: So? I guess I drink quite a lot.

Jiwon: Some guys entered to the party and started to dance with you, and I get mad because some of them were touching you.

Y/N: Touching me? Did I allow that? Why June leave me alone?

Jiwon: He told you, but you refused to leave. I couldn't leave you there, so I punched this fucking asshole in the face, and take you with me.

Y/N: What about my roommate? where is she? and who was her?

Jiwon: It was my first time watching them, I don't know her names, but they are with the team, Hanbin told me.

Y/N: Hanbin? How does he know?

Jiwon: It seems they spend the night together.

Y/N: Oh....

Jiwon: I didn't find your purse or anything, and your friends were no seen, so I just bring you here.

Y/N: I see... Those damn things, how they dare to leave me alone.

Jiwon: But you are adorable drunk, you like to dance in a sexy way. I restrained myself of don't do anything to you.

 She Blushed

 Y/N: Did something happened? Between the two of us?

Jiwon: You kissed me.

Y/N: Did I?

Jiwon: Mmm, yes.

Y/N: Anything else? You know?

Jiwon: You only hugged me all night long.

Y/N: No way! Why didn't you sleep in another place?

Jiwon: Because I only sleep in my bed, and I could share it with you, I don't mind.

 I got close to her, and clean with my thumbs some crumbs of toast.

 Jiwon:Jiwon: I like you y/n.

I closed the distance, and I give her a sweet peck on her lips.

 Jiwon: Please, don't make things hard between of us.

 Y/N: What you mean? How can you like me? We barely meet each other, and we already kissed, how is possible?

 Jiwon: I don't understand, I get jealous every time I see you with June. I don't like it.

 Y/N: I don't know what to say... How can I know that you aren't playing with me?

 Jiwon:  I can demonstrate that for you, I am not who you think I am. Just give me a chance.

 Y/N: I am sorry Bobby, but June, I can't be like that.

 I started to got mad, we kissed first, we met first, why June had to meddle.

 Jiwon: Listen, I am not saying to start dating with me, but at least give me a chance. We already did a lot of stuff together. we kissed, we slept together. we already fight...

 Y/N: Look I am not dating June, but I won't tell you that I don't like him.

 Jiwon:: But you like me too.

 Y/N: I won't deny it.

 I kissed her.

 Our mouths were like in perfect synchrony, the tip of her tongue sends me shivers.

 Jiwon: Let me demonstrate you, that I can be that man of your life.

GIFTS NOT MINE CREDIT TO THEIR OWNERS

PART 4                                                                                               PART 6 

[ralphmorgan-blog1]

How To Pull Off “The Old Taylor” This Halloween, Because It’s The Perfect Costume

Halloween is right around the corner, y'all. It's pumpkin spiced latte season, fall decorations are slowly starting to appear in Target, and everyone is pondering over their Halloween costumes. It's freakin' exciting! It's the most wonderful time of the year! No… it's not Christmas. So, what better way to celebrate Halloween than with a Taylor Swift costume? Well, I guess you could dress like the clown from IT, but you definitely won't make any friends at any parties. Look no further, because I will be “the old Taylor” Halloween costume guru this year. Let's look back at the ending of her music video, “Look What You Made Me Do,” and transform into each and every one of the old Taylors. I call dibs on Circus Ringleader Taylor! Let us begin.

1. Platinum Blonde Taylor

Platinum blonde Taylor is goth, stylish, and sexy. This look lasted one year in 2016, and honestly, we all kind of loved it. Although this Taylor didn't have a starring role in the “LWYMMD” music video, if you look closely, you will find her in the pile of Taylors. Here's how to achieve the look:

Buy a short platinum blonde wig

Buy a black glitter dress

Find high leather boots

Look serious and sensual at all times

Throw on intense lipstick

Mark Davis/Getty Images

2. “Out of the Woods” Taylor

Taylor's zombie-esque corpse from her “Out of the Woods” video was the final music video release from the 1989 era. It was basically the very end of all “Old Taylors.” This costume is a classic:

Cover your entire body with dirt and mud (or just use brown makeup!)

Tease your hair in the messiest sort of ways

Find a baby blue dress and splatter it with mud

Find several vines or ropes and wrap them around your body

Look distressed

3. “Shake It Off” Ballerina Taylor

Taylor Swift is an innocent white swan in her music video for “Shake It Off,” although we all know she's not innocent. This look is easy to achieve, and you'll for sure be recognized as an “Old Taylor.” Here's what you'll need:

A giant white tutu

A pair of white tights

White feathers for your hair

A silver tiara

A white leotard

Ballet slippers

4. Circus Ringleader Taylor

Swift wore this outstanding outfit for the 2012 Red video and throughout her Red Tour. Her red, sequined coat and top hat make this look totally Taylor. If you can find a red sequined coat, get it, girl. If not, you're going to have to make one. Here's what to do:

For the coat:

Buy a cheap black jacket at a thrift shop

Buy red, glittery sequins at a craft store

Buy super glue or a hot glue gun

Glue red sequins on the jacket in an even line, covering the entire jacket

Let the jacket dry overnight

For the rest of the costume:

Buy a top hat and cover the brim with red sequins

Buy black shorts

Wear black boots

Carry around a cane or baton

Larry Busacca/TAS /Getty Images

 5.  “You Belong With Me” Taylor

Remember teenage T. Swift wearing a “Junior Jewels” white T-shirt in the “You Belong With Me” video? She was covered in guys' names and now she's covered in her squad members' names. Is she making fun of herself? Definitely. Here's what to do:

Buy a white T-shirt

Write Swifty's squad names all over it

Wear your hair messy and in your face

Put on thick framed glasses (take out the lenses, unless you actually need them)

6. 2009 VMAs Taylor

Taylor Swift at the 2009 VMAs was a huge moment in history. Who could forget it? This costume is easy:

Buy a silver glitter dress

Find a fake/real microphone and carry it around

Find a silver statue that resembles a Moon Person

Look really surprised all night

Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images

7. Tour Taylor

This is where it all started. The Tour Taylor. Who wouldn't want to be this Taylor?

Jason Kempin/Getty Images

Here's the look:

Find a guitar and bedazzle it like a crazy person

Wear a glittery dress

Wear a curly blonde wig

Smile a lot

Happy Halloween, Swifties! This should be the best year yet!

More From this publisher : HERE

=> *********************************************** Learn More Here: How To Pull Off “The Old Taylor” This Halloween, Because It’s The Perfect Costume ************************************ =>

How To Pull Off “The Old Taylor” This Halloween, Because It’s The Perfect Costume was originally posted by A 18 MOA Top News from around

[junker-town]

'Bachelorette' Episode 2 recap: DeMario is caught lying, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar stops by, AND SO MANY GOOD DOGS

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis also make an appearance on the best episode of this show we’ve had in years.

It’s Bachelorette time. If you missed it, here’s last week’s recap of episode 1.

Welcome back, Sports Bachelor Nation. It’s Monday night of Memorial Day, so if you’re sitting on your couch sunburned and very full, please know you’re not alone. Luckily, we’ve got Rachel Lindsay’s search for happily ever after to distract us from the fact that we ate our weight in grilled meats (or vegetables, if you’re into that sort of thing) and drank a few too many beers over the past few days.

Speaking of beers, let’s watch some dudes get drunk and embarrass themselves on television as they try to make Rachel fall head over heels in love with them.

RACHEL’S DOG IS BACK!

We’re at Rachel’s temporary Bachelorette pad, where she’s talking about Her Journey so far. As she says that she’s getting good at being vulnerable, we zoom in on a shot of her dog with a cast on its leg. This seems like a metaphor, but I can’t be sure.

I have a message to the producers:

HELLO PRODUCERS PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT RACHEL’S DOG AND EXPLAIN WHY ITS LEG IS IN A CAST THANK YOU.

GROUP DATE ANNOUNCEMENT

In the mansion, the men are wearing henleys — official shirt of the Bachelor franchise. These men all look like the guy on the front of pack of Hanes shirts that you can buy in bulk at Walmart. I can only imagine that house smells like the men’s locker room before a middle school dance, and I sincerely hope Rachel isn’t asthmatic.

Chris “My Personal Trainer Says I’m Very Strong for a Man My Age” Harrison tells the men that A) there will be two group dates and one one-on-one this week and B) that he hopes the men are present for The Right Reasons.

HUSBAND HUNTING

The group date begins and we’re in a field. Rachel is grilling some burgers and shrimp. She throws a football because The Bachelorette is sports, and her spiral is better than many of the dudes’.

The arm of an angel! #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/KhCJWCrLUD

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

In an aside to the camera, Blake — the aspiring drummer with a mushroom cut from my fourth grade class in the 90s — says that Lucas (Whaaabooooom Guy) is a garbage person who is NOT there for The Right Reasons. I can already tell that Blake’s made himself the Guy Who Hates Whaaabooooom Guy. Blake will undoubtedly spend most of his one-on-one time with Rachel trashing Lucas and then both Blake and Lucas will go home fairly soon after.

Rachel says that her friends are coming over. Her friends turn out to be Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. It turns out that Ashton and Mila are huge Bachelor fans and called the producers to let them be on the show. I’m not sure if this is true, or if one of them has a contract with ABC and had to appear on this as part of a deal.

Ashton and Mila are funny. Mila is like, “Who here has health insurance?” Health insurance and kind eyes are really all I’m looking for in a man, so I appreciate this.

THE ULTIMATE HUSBAND OBSTACLE COURSE FOR VERY STRONG BOYS

Everyone knows the first thing a man must do when he’s trying to woo a woman is run an obstacle course that includes changing the diaper on a fake baby, running around with a vacuum, unclogging a drain that’s inexplicably clogged in the middle of a field, and buying her flowers.

The men do this. Kenny says he has an advantage because he’s super dad to his ten-year-old daughter, but Whaaabooom Guy wins thanks to what I think was an illegal stiff-arm. Mila calls him “Wazoozoo Guy.”

“I don’t think Rachel’s guy is in this group,” Ashton says, and I agree.

NIGHT DATE AT WHAT LOOKS LIKE A USED FURNITURE STORE

Rachel and her big strong boys go to an arcade bar or a used furniture warehouse (I can’t tell, which doesn’t bode well for the future of the establishment) for the evening portion of their date. Blake is on a tear, because it turns out he knows Lucas (Wazoozoo Guy) from before the show, because Lucas used to date Blake’s roommate. Lucas reads Rachel a poem and Rachel is kind, so she smiles, but the poem is terrible.

Blake is in full-on self destruction mode. He does indeed spend his one-on-one time trashing Lucas to Rachel, but it turns out there’s some back story here: Blake says he lives with Lucas’ ex-girlfriend, that Lucas is a “clown for TV exposure,” and that Lucas wears makeup so he’ll look good on TV.

(PLOT TWIST: The Hollywood Reporter did some digging and found that the two were on a previous reality show together.)

Blake leaves his time with Rachel having only spoken about Lucas. Lucas and Blake then trade dumb insults for a while until Lucas, who is slurring his speech because he’s so drunk, says Blake “is dismissed.” The producers zoom in on a creepy clown face, which feels like another metaphor.

DEAN’S SURPRISING COME-FROM-BEHIND

Dean shocks the world by making Rachel laugh a lot and stirring up what seem like romantic feelings. Rachel tells Dean she truly did like it when he said, “I’m ready to go black and I’m not going back,” but that she wanted to say it first, and he stole her line. Dean, who is 25 and slightly awkward, looks extremely relieved. His hand is on her leg.

Kenny and Rachel have a nice moment where Kenny tells her about his daughter. Kenny is earnest, sweet, and kind. I think I love Kenny.

Rachel gives Dean — whose name might as well be Blake, he totally looks like a Blake — the First Impression rose and he then makes out with her. Looks like a decent kiss. Better than Bryan’s from last episode at least. Rachel seems pleased.

QUICK ASIDE ABOUT LEE

We cut to Lee, the singer-songwriter du jour, for a moment during the group date. He’s at the mansion, talking shit about the other dudes, and you can tell the producers are setting him up to be The Real Villain (Lucas is The Clown-y Villain). These wily puppeteers producers are brilliant.

PETER’S MAGICAL DOG DATE FROM HEAVEN

Peter gets the one-on-one date. This isn’t shocking, because Rachel seemed so drawn to him last episode. He’s very handsome and knows how to drive, which is always a plus in a partner. He proves he can drive by driving Rachel in a Tesla to a private plane. Tesla must’ve paid out the ass for sponsorship this season because they’ve featured very prominently so far.

On the tarmac, Rachel throws a serious curveball when she says that this date will actually be a two-on-one, because her injured best friend is coming along. I’m like, man, is this going to be another famous person, like Kawhi Leaonard?

AND THEN IT’S HER DOG!!! It’s Rachel’s adorable, hurt, beautiful dog Cooper. The producers must’ve heard me (and the rest of America) as we clamored for more information about this adorable pooch, because here he is.

I am tearing up.

THERE ARE SOOOO MANY GOOD DOGS ON THIS DATE OH MY GOD

Rachel, Peter and Cooper get on a private plane and fly to a dog party at a dog hotel.

This date isn’t fair to the other contestants, because who wouldn’t immediately fall in love with a handsome man who took them to a dog hotel? We still don’t know how Cooper was injured, but we do know that Peter would move to Dallas for Rachel, and that the sparks, they are a flyin’. Peter dances with Cooper in a sea of other humans who are also dancing with their dogs.

Both Peter and Rachel have personalities, which is something new and different for this show. My key takeaway so far is that we all need dogs, and then we need handsome men, and then we need those man to bring all of us to dog parties at dog hotels.

TOOTH DATE

Rachel and Peter go on a delightful evening date where they talk about their matching tooth gaps (never thought I’d find a conversation on dentistry so fascinating, but here we are). Copper gets his own seat.

And then something wonderful happens: Both Rachel and Peter talk about how they went to see therapists after their last relationships fell apart. As an anxious person who believes strongly in therapy, I am highly, highly, highly in favor of getting rid of the stigma that goes along with taking care of mental health issues. Talking about it openly on national television is important, unexpected, and I’m here for it.

Appropriate fireworks for a smitten kitten! #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/eNRSt1PcIK

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

Rachel is the best lead in this history of reality TV. Peter is the clear front-runner right now.

BASKETBALL DATE

Rachel and another group of merry men go to play basketball at a school gym. I can’t help but feel like maybe ABC is playing into how many sportswriters watch this show, because there are so many sports this season. There are also good dogs, which are definitely sports.

And then Kareem Abdul-Jabbar shows up to coach basketball.

This is very much sports, too, but it’s also somewhat surprising, because Kareem wrote a nuanced and spot-on op-ed in February about how The Bachelor and Bachelorette have had an abysmal amount of diversity and a serious lack of any real conversation:

“The real crime is the lack of intellectual and appearance diversity, which leaves the contestants as interchangeable as the Mr. Potato Head parts. The lack of racial diversity has already been commented on. If you’re black on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, you’re usually kept around as a courtesy for a few weeks before being ejected. Those outside the ideal body fat percentage index need not apply. With all eyes firmly fixed on firm buttocks, the criteria for finding love becomes how high a quarter will bounce off rock-hard abs. Will we ever witness a conversation that isn’t so bland and vacuous that words seem to evaporate as soon as they are spoken?”

Maybe ABC listened? At any rate, the network has finally (however horribly and belatedly) made a black woman the Bachelorette. Perhaps Kareem decided he’d give the show a shot at redeeming itself and have some fun with Rachel in the meantime.

"I found it very interesting that he dunked on me today." - Rachel to Kareem. @TheRachLindsay @kaj33 #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/5RqqgSSg1p

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

Kareem will not give these guys a chance to redeem themselves at basketball, though, because they don’t deserve one. Lee is terrible. Kareem laughs a lot. Like, at Lee. Not with him. I love this.

EVERYTHING IS FINE

Everything is going great — the guys play a basketball game in front of a packed crowd, which includes the human version of one of those blow-up guys in front of car dealerships:

Rachel and DeMario (who by now has compared himself to Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, LeBron James and Kobe Bryant) have been seriously vibing on this date, and it’s looking like she’s going to give him the Immunity Rose, a.k.a. The Bachelorette’s version of an Epi Pen.

AND THEN NOTHING IS FINE

Uh oh. This woman named Lexi shows up and claims that DeMario is her boyfriend (actually she says, “Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it DeMario?”).

Lexi says she saw DeMario on After the Final Rose at the end of Nick’s season, when DeMario was one of the guys who showed up to meet Rachel before her season started. DeMario pretends not to know Lexi at first, which is a mistake, because Lexi has text messages between the two of them in which DeMario says, “goodnight, babe.”

Nominate this for Act Break of the Year #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/7xHtRTNo1V

— Mark (@tole_cover) May 30, 2017

Lexi says the texts prove DeMario never ended their relationship before he went on the show, but DeMario says he ended it in person, so there wouldn’t be any texts. Rachel gives DeMario a chance to explain what happened, but he kind of fumbles through it, saying that Lexi is nuts. Lexi swears on her father’s grave and on her two kittens that DeMario is lying. She also calls him a piece of trash. DeMario is like, “I don’t have keys to your apartment!” And then he’s like “Oh, those keys. Yeah, I mailed them back.”

Both of these people are... maybe not the best.

Rachel lays down the law: “I don’t want to be played, I don’t want to be made a joke of, so I’m really going to need you to get the f[bleep] out. I don’t like being f[bleeping] embarrassed.”

"I’m really going to need you to get the f*@% out!” -Rachel#TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/dbXKvlfbQa

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

She sends DeMario home. Lexi also leaves.

RACHEL LAYS DOWN THE LAW SOME MORE

Rachel goes into the locker room and she’s like DON’T FUCK WITH ME, YOU ASSHOLES.

And by that I mean she graciously and kindly says:

“I pride myself in being real. If any of you have a girlfriend, please just tell me now, because it makes me sick that I sent people home. So with that being said, I’ll see you tonight.”

The guys are like WHAAAAAAT and pretend they can’t believe anyone would ever cheat or do anything bad. One guy, maybe Lee (or another Blake, or another Dean, I don’t know, there are too many) says, “That’s insane to me, how can you be so duplicitous?”

And I’m like, oh yeah, because I’m sure all of you are a bunch of goddamn saints.

NIGHT DATE AFTER THE DEMARIO DISASTER

Rachel tells the camera that “DeMario is a dirty, dirty dog” and that it’s making her “question the other men’s real intentions. I need to look past charm and see them for who they are and recognize their true character.”

"I need to look past the charm and see them for who they are and recognize their true character." -Rachel#TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/F5tVAYpfut

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

That seems maybe not possible after two weeks of knowing someone, but if anyone can do it, I believe it’s Rachel Lindsay.

The other guys, meanwhile, are still milking the DeMario thing for all its worth. They’re all like I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU OR ANY WOMAN LIKE THAT!

Right. And my uncle’s the Easter Bunny.

Josiah swoops in and acts all protective, which could seem bad, but seems maybe good? I don’t even know anymore. But he’s wearing a great outfit, he’s quite attractive, and he’s very smooth, so I am somewhat taken with him. Rachel seems to be, too, because she gives him the Immunity Rose.

A FEW RANDOM THOUGHTS

Diggy wears Von Miller glasses. I like Diggy, I think.

We have a Diggy and an Iggy, which is confusing.

Alex sings to Rachel in Russian.

Rachel tells Eric that quality time and physical touch are the things that make her feel loved. I love how sex positive she is. Go Rachel. All women should have good sex.

We haven’t seen enough of Anthony!!!!! I want more of Anthony!!

Kisses on live mics are disgusting.

We’re only two episodes in and this entire episode is better than Nick’s whole dumb season.

DEMARIO COMES BACK?!

So Bryan, the one who kissed Rachel first, is a chiropractor. He sets up a massage table at the cocktail party and gives her a massage. Bryan creeps me out, but massages are good, and Rachel seems into him.

Rachel and Iggy are playing a thumb war (sexy!) when DeMario comes back to try to explain himself. The security guy goes to get Chris Harrison, who is probably asleep at his house in L.A.

But Chris eventually shows up, and he’s like... okay, DeMario, I’ll tell Rachel you’re here, but it’s up to her if she wants to talk to you. Chris is doing more this season than he did for all of the past three combined.

Rachel is curious. She goes to talk to DeMario.

Meanwhile, the dudes are like “Wait, is that Chris? He’s not supposed to be here!” And then they realize DeMario is back, and they charge out like an angry mob to go get rid of him.

AND THEN THE EPISODE JUST ENDS

This is the best season of this show I’ve ever seen, and Episode 2 was the best episode. We had drama up the wazoo, promising suitors, and Rachel, who’s smart, funny, and sincere in a not-corny way that makes you actually believe such things as The Right Reasons (or something close to them) exist. I hope she gets her own talk show after this so we can keep watching her conduct the people around her like a symphony. Actually, no, I hope she does whatever the hell she wants to do with the love of her life.

I hated this show after Nick, but now I can’t wait for next week. HOWEVER: if the producers keep doing this stupid cliff-hanger shit, I will call Cooper The Adorable Injured Dog and demand he pull rank to make them stop.