#to have a different man
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Nothing more romantic than asking your partner to cut out your tongue stitches.
Last time I did this it ended with a “oh fuck just let me do it”
#it's a LOT of trust#because lemme tell ya#I didn't#pay a man to suture it back up#to have a different man#reslice it inexpertly#also#split tongue#tongue bifurcation#man I'm wet about how safe he makes me feel
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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thinking about ford "human blood tastes better" pines
ford "i have been desiring blood more than usual" pines
stanford "was bitten by a fruit bat but still wrote the sentence 'i have been desiring blood more than usual'" pines
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#what is WRONG with him jfkdlsjklsa#he and bill really WERE made for each other. lord alive man.#ford how many different types of blood have you definitely not sampled to have a distinct ranking in which human blood is the best#ford you wrote this BEFORE you went insane. ford.#this was you at your normalest. comparatively speaking.
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one braincell transfer (divided by four)
#i think you guys have no idea where the extent of my admiration to AE quartet has brought me aside of sunday's existing trust to welt#i'm so down to any possible dynamic they'll have both in-game canon and fanart#they're the most preciousest ever i'm just welt yang to them. the ducklings#i think sunday can get along with them just fine regardless of their past endeavors when the will of the trailblaze is a will to change#he'll struggle he'll get awkward maybe a lil control freakishness and wonweek smugeroo here and there#but their differences is what makes them all familiar to each other as a group and i love that...#sunday hsr#dan heng#trailblazer#stelle#march 7th#hsr#honkai star rail#qiiarts#I FORGOT THE TINY MAN OF THE HOUR#welt yang#AE quartet
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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It's always so weird to come down from the biology heavens to see what the average person believes about animals, plants, ecosystems, just the world around them. I don't even mean things that one simply doesn't know because they've never been told or things that are confusing, I'm talking about people who genuinely do not see insects as animals. What are you saying. Every time I see a crawling or fluttering little guy I know that little guy has motivations and drive to fulfill those motivations. There are gears turning in their head! They are perceiving this world and they are drawing conclusions, they are conscious. And yet it's still a whole thing if various bugs of the world feel pain or if they are simply Instinct Machines that are Not Truly Aware of Anything At All????? Help!!!!!! How can you look at a little guy and think he is just the macroscopic animal version of a virus
#yesterday i made a complainy post about a whale edit having people confused about whale sharks and orcas' dolphin and whale identity#but honestly i cant even hold these things against someone. its confusing that whale sharks are called with two different animal names!#and if you only know about the whale dolphin porpoise divide then you may not know that dolphins and porpoises and others are toothed whale#i dont think anyone is actually stupid for not having this information preinstalled in their brains#if anything it makes me happy to get to explain things because i love explaining things that i know :D#however... this#it just makes me sad :(#its so weird when this whole thing is subjected towards OTHER VERTEBRATES too like fish or reptiles or amphibians#like man.... you are a fish. your ancestors were buddy buddy (or actually probably enemy enemy) with the ancestors of these guys#fish are like a whole other class of animal to a lot of people dont even get me started#they never get the same protections as mammals or birds do even if they are just as or more endangered#mmmmm i wont rant now#biology
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going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with
-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)
-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)
-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)
-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)
-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)
-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)
-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)
-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran
-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy
-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre
-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever
#shit's crazy#theyre basically living history#percy is kinda the new hercules except less macho manly man#'oh who's killed this guy before' 'percy jackson'#like can you imagine playing capture the flag with rhese bastards#ur scaling the wall and you see these mfs make it up there in like 2 jumps#they arent allowed to be in the same team for any of the games because you KNOW theyd beat everyone else's asses#people are fighting to have percy on their team#not to mention the gods that just pop in for a visit every now and then#like at this point the fact that DIONYSUS is their camp counselor isnr even that surprising anymore#some scrawny teen dude shows up and will's just 'oh hey dad'#'YOU MEAN APOLLO????' 'yeah lol he just visits sometimes'#pretty much everyone there has survived at least one war#the background characters must feel hella overshadowed bcs what does it matter if u won a game when the guy in the cabin across has like#saved the world. 3 different times. like wtf#pjo books#leo valdez#trials of apollo#lester papadopoulos#pjo fandom#percy jackson#grover underwood#nico di angelo#annabeth chase#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#piper mclean#chiron#camp half blood#pjo text post
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more dragon
#my sketches#one piece#monkey d luffy#monkey d dragon#monkey d garp#real talk and jokes aside i think dragons childhood with garp wasn’t all that bad#since he actually was a marine at some point right so he must have at the very least respected garp#garps way of raising a kid that actually wanted to be a marine must have been somewhat different too#all in all i think leaving luffy to garp wouldn’t sound like such a weird thought to dragon ??#i get why hed go there i mean#garp tho……………..#what was that man even thinking………………….
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you don't stop getting percieved as whatever sex they assume you first had when you come out btw.
come out as a trans man to your school? youre a weird girl that is also trans. you are hated. you have 0 of the privelege of being treated as not a woman and all the horribleness of bigotry. you are whatever gender that will harm you most.
.
"oh sorry u cant go on this school trip because yr not a girl and they dont wanna room with you and if you room with any men you are horribly unsafe"
"oh sorry you don't wanna be sexually harassed? well yr a man who cares? this is punching up. be a man why are you upset?"
"mm you have no say here actually cuz youre a GIRL and girls don't have a voice here. ur body my choice tehe"
and many more.
.
all of these things can be directed at the same person. you are not more priveleged than other trans people cuz some losers out there have the most basic radfem ass understanding of how oppression works. you culd pass perfectly but the moment they know you are trans you will experience the harmful intersectionality between misogyny and transphobia. to deny that ever happened and that there are complex experiences out there is to deny trans people of their oppression. no matter your intention it is horrible and self harming to the community.
#its not even situational#if you they think you are trans you will suffer#its not magically better for one person over the other#<-not saying experiences dont vary#just saying a non passing trans woman and a passing trans man can both be under attack and both of those matter#different experiences but the oppression shares the same root#thats like. why we are a community#like yea someone in X situation is a good example of suffering in Y way but someone in Z situation isnt automatically better#transandrophobia#transmisia#transmisandry#anti transmasculinity#i have more to say on this but i will leave it for later
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anthony mackie crashing sebastian stan’s golden globes interview
#they gotta be my roman empire at this point#the gen love they have for each other somebody sedate me#anthony mackie#sebastian stan#golden globes#video#a different man#captain america brave new world#stackie#sambucky#access hollywood#golden globes 2025#sam x bucky#captain america
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Okay stupid doodle is complete since I could only think of Hiccstrid with this trend
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#I considered replacing it with terror mail#but that didn’t make much sense#so imagine they made their own form of phones and social media ig#but no other differences to the universe?#idk man#I just needed to doodle this#also Stormfly totally would have been here#but Astrid’s muscle took all the screen#iconic woman she is#hiccup#hiccup haddock#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#Astrid#astrid hofferson#toothless#httyd#how to train your dragon#doodle
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A whole new meaning to Gay Chicken.
(For: Anonymous raffle winner!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#This prompt was super cute! Thank you for donating to the raffle!#And thank you to everyone who also donated!#Okay full disclosure I am on very little sleep right now so these next thoughts may be incomprehensible.#(That hasn't stopped me before. Sometimes the voices of the hat man give me good ideas.)#I have been vibrating with excitement for when we finally get to the chicken scene.#Because I really want to draw chickens! I love chickens! They are so optimally shaped for maximal cuteness.#That's a creature that was designed to be fluffy and sit on things. What is there to *not* love!#I know there is more significance to the whole exchange but really...I think Lan Wangji deep down just wants to hold cute creatures.#His hands are big and gentle and not meant for swords! They are made to be filling rabbit hutches with fresh hay and petting chickens.#This is to say; Lan Wangji's problems could all have been avoided if he was a farmboy.#He can still be a farmer. The two of them could run off into the country and start something new.#"True love is possible only - in the next world - for new people” Is a disco elysium quote I think about for wangxian all the time.#Ah but that's a different tangent. Look forwards to more art tomorrow!
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Presenting: King Sidon, his wife Queen Yona and his boyfriend Link.
Yona is very supportive of everything except Sidon forgetting his ceremony cues.
(I had an atrocious week and TotK has been coming in clutch for keeping me sane.)
#totk spoilers#loz totk#sidlink#link x sidon#totk yona#totk link#totk sidon#tears of the kingdom#I love Yona I adore her design oh my god#If I were to create a Zelda-sona it'd basically just be her with different clothes so I'm contractually obligated to love her#But Nintendo trying to give Sidon a case of the not-gays with her is hilarious#The man greets his fiancée like a coworker and then turns around to explode with adoration over Link in the same breath#This is either a Lavender Marriage or a case of 'every royal Zora finds Link irresistible'. I like both but prefer the former#Like. Yona meets Zelda once things are settled and gets all flustered and tongue tied#and neither Sidon or Link have any idea what's going on because they share 1 braincell#which is used exclusively for fighting really good#sharky art#zelda comic
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Always the bridesmaid never the bride
#gravity falls#book of bill#ford pines#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#fiddleauthor#Emma may Dixon#I have fallen victim to that one art#the difference here is that Ford doesn’t feel the same#or even knows how Fiddleford feels#he’s just in the back admiring that cool new constellation#Emma hate ford after this but ford just assumes it’s cause he has 6 fingers and not cause he stole her man#and they were roommates#let Fiddleford be a bad husband/father!!#if ford wanted to run away with him Fiddleford would’ve#she’s his Emily to his Ross
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TW// Abuse implication
Thinking about possible Vox and Angel's interactions and how they'd go down. Theres such a unique mix of hatred to each other and common ground with their different experiences with Valentino, has me thinking.
Also just want to clarify I love Vox's character a LOT but ofc obv don't sympathise with him or think he is any way shape or form a decent individual, cant with stupid toxic dumbass x
AND IF YOU SEE ANY MISTAKES OR TYPOS NO YOU DONT- (i was so tired when drawing it forgive me TwT)
#Man though the ANGST potential!!!!#vox and angel are in such different situations#but they have one thing in common that keeps them really close#val#and like we all know vox is super jealous#even though vals a dick#i just think the way they would go about interacting is so so interesting#ALSO THIS IS NOT HATE TO VAL OR VOX i think they are really well written and I love how shitty they are#but also no apologizing for them either ygm? :>#SENDING LOVE AND KEEP YOURSELF SAFE OUT THERE. 🤍🤍#hazbin hotel#vox#angel dust#hazbin hotel vox#huskerdust#voxval#hazbin#hazbin hotel fanart#tribbleart#<3
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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