#to have a conversation with him now that we can communicate
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I feel like there’s some meaningful stuff here about Sara and August’s relationship, so I wanted to reblog and lift those up here! Sara has traditionally been unfairly slammed by the fandom, even though her actions were meaningfully different from August’s in season 2. And a lot of times saraugust is held up as this ontologically evil foil to wilmon, even though both pairings juxtapose the capacity to be sweet and loving with some pretty intense teenage flaws.
Personally, while I understand why they happen, I’ve always been a little wary of discussions of “is Sara a bad person/is August a bad person.” I understand why this framing works for some fans, but it doesn’t work for me. Mostly because a while back, Omar was talking in an interview, and he talked about Lisa’s writing philosophy being that there aren’t good and bad people in her stories, there are people in her stories who are capable of good and bad actions. Now, authorial intent can only go so far, I get that. But I do think this is a theme that underpins the series. I think they did a great job of showing Sara’s complexity and growth over the season. I do think there were some fumbles to August’s writing in season 3 that led a portion of the audience to believe he never changed, ever, over the course of the series. I think the show would have benefitted from him and Simon having a chance to do restorative work outside of their relationships with Wille. At the same time, I don’t think season 3 was without growth for August. @sflow-er’s post on the Fleabag parallel does a great job of breaking down August’s arc. I’m not saying any of this negates the harm August does—far from it—but I do think the show is inviting us to envision a better future for August where he grows and changes, especially in our fanworks.
And that’s what I want to talk about in this reblog: fanworks. It’s been a long time since people were acknowledging the saraugust nuance in season 2, and ultimately how fascinating the pairing is, but there’s still only 96 fics tagged Sara/August on AO3 and only a few are actually about them.
I think, what I’m sad about most when it comes to Young Royals fandom, is that there is no fanworks community around Sara and August the way there is for wilmon, at least on tumblr. There are individual people who are interested in their dynamic, and some of them create fanworks from time to time, and some of us reach out to one another and have meaningful and wonderful one-on-one conversations in our inboxes. But there’s very few reblog chains about them where people are just expressing fun headcanons, there’s very little circulating fanart, there’s some gifsets and edits but they don’t circulate as frequently, no fandom events or challenges themed around them, no following and cheering on of Malte and Frida’s careers, (to my knowledge) no epic multichapter saraugust fics we discuss together and swoon over and make starry eyes over.
To be clear: I don’t think I’d ever expect saragust to have the same size of following wilmon does. There are many factors that make wilmon more popular, first and foremost being that August does real legitimate harm and is annoying and kind of sucks. Like, hey! I get it! Not everyone is going to like him, and that’s perfectly okay. And then there’s the fact that not everyone who’s drawn to an m/m show is going to feel excited to ship a f/m pairing. As @crownedwille points out, fandoms sure can do some stuff when female characters are involved. Of course saraugust will get smaller numbers.
But as someone who’s been tracking the saraugust breadcrumbs in fandom for a while, and has been following their tag on AO3, what I’m noticing is not exactly a natural absence of interest in the pairing. It’s more like I see a lot of people who have an interest in the characters and the dynamics, but something about the way YR fandom interacts socially reinforces the notion that you keep your saraugust feelings to yourself. Or, for a while if you were expressing those feelings, you were encouraged to express them in ways that are full of apologies and disclaimers. When you’re spending all your time doing that, it becomes a lot harder to create fanworks. Like, even in the tags of this post, I see a lot of people saying they liked them or found them interesting or cute or they’re hooked in by the drama or whatever else! Clearly the enjoyers exist and are out there. I think the discourse (and the harassment of actors/writers/creative team on social media) has died down a lot since the finale and there’s more space to like the characters, but I also think that some of the patterns of fandom interaction that sprung up post-S2 have had a continued impact on how people express themselves.
And yes, it’s important to be mindful of the morally dubious sides of this pairing, but we can do that while creating space for people to openly enjoy it through fic and headcanons and edits and such the way that many people in the fandom openly enjoy wilmon, even if it’s a smaller group of us. (Heck, some people enjoy saraugust because of the moral dubiousness and that is part of a Valid Fandom Tradition of enjoying morally dubious pairings.)
As someone who’s currently feeling a little burned out on wilmon by itself and doesn’t really have a desire to read works centered on them, but who’s still in love with the broader YR world and its characters, especially my two favorite characters—I am desperate for a little bit less saraugust discourse and a little bit more joyous fannishness about them. I’m not entirely sure how to make that happen. I’ve been writing fic, blogging about the characters, creating ask games, posting pictures of the plushies, and also doing some other stuff behind the scenes. But I often don’t post or reblog as much as I could for fear of discourse returning, and I feel disconnected from fandom most of the time, even though I have some strong individual ties to individual people. (I also feel like I may have burned some bridges at times when I was upset.) It’s a bit of a sisyphean conundrum, isn’t it? I wish I could wave a magic wand and make more fanworks and community happen around this pairing in particular, but also around other pairings and characters on the show for the fans who want those other pairings and characters. I just wish there was a little more variety in the characters and pairings talked about.
Anyway, I don’t have any answers and it’s time for me to acquire groceries for the week, so. Blue out.
There's so much discourse around Sara and August. Whether they were good together or not. Whether they loved each other or not.
What we tend to overlook is the fact that they talked to each other. Enough that they knew each other.
He wanted someone to talk to and he thought about her. So he went to find her and he knew to find her in the stables. Then he immediately proved to her that he was someone "safe" by petting her horse. She misunderstood his invitation that evening but he didn't make her feel bad about it. We know she talked to him about the Felice Horse Selling Thing™️ because when she comes to say that Felice was officially selling the horse, he just said "I thought you already knew that" because she had already told him.
Sara talked to August. The same why August talked to Sara. He opened up about the drugs and why he used them. He opened up about being Wilhelm's back up. He opened up about his guilt and about feeling like a horrible person.
She talked to him about her horse and about Felice. Two things that she considers the most important in her life. She also opens up to him about wanting to fit in. Wanting to "be like him" meaning that she wanted to be like the Hillerska crowd.
They talked to each other.
So like, yes, they did horrible things. They are bad people. But they aren’t incapable of caring. And they aren't entirely self centered. That's what makes their individual betrayals even more heartbreaking. Because we know they're capable of caring and they made the choices they did anyway.
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sentences sunday
I was tagged by @diazsdimples @midsummersmorn
guess what? I have sequel for this fix it mpreg (more likely 1 out of 3 sequels)
“Evan?”
His husband hums, still reading the wikipedia page, so Tommy takes the laptop from him, sitting it on his nightstand.
“Hey, I was almost done,” Evan pouts and Tommy giggles, kissing this adorable face.
“Sorry, babe, but I have something important I want to talk about with you while I am still brave enough.”
Evan rapidly blinks and Tommy grabs his hand, kissing Evan’s shoulder and then sitting on the bed, facing Evan and moving Evan so he faces him.
“Evan, you and Dany are the most important people to me. My greatest happiness,” his husband blushes and smiles and Tommy again asks himself how this sun hadn’t blind him yet. “For years, I was alone. Too lonely not just outside, but inside my body. Alone and scared. Scared to love and let people love me because it felt like I don’t deserve forever. Like I don’t deserve to keep happiness. Maybe not even feel it at all,” Evan nods, remembering their thousands of conversations after they got together, especially during therapy. “It took me a while to believe that you will stay. That I can keep you and Dany as long as I’m willing to work for it with you,” Tommy can’t stop himself from kissing his husband at this moment. “I have everything I wasn’t brave enough to dream and more than young, scared and pretty asshole Tommy deserved. And I promise it’s enough. But recently, I can’t stop thinking that maybe our family can have another little person?”
Evan adorably giggles, kissing his nose, “Tommy, are you asking about putting another baby in me?”
Tommy shakes his head in exasperation, but hugs Evan’s waist, “yes. I want another baby, because I think now is the best time as ever. I’m soon to be 45 and you are almost 36. I have only a year before I can go to retirement with a full pension. And my friend in the academy told me they would be happy to give me a job there. It’s a good schedule, not like shifts and I still will have good income, so money won't be a problem. Plus you think about applying for Lieutenant soon, as Bobby now actually thinks about retirement in a year or two as Athena planned hers too. And you need to study a lot for it. But before that we can grow our family and you would have time to grow in your career, studying during pregnancy, if you would want to do it again.”
Tommy swallows, thinking if he's too selfish to add the next part or not. But he remembers he and Evan promised to have full open communication so he continues, but almost in a whisper.
“I also would be really happy to have a chance to share this experience with you,” he looks at Evan who nods to him with a sad smile. “We both know why I wasn’t here for you with Dany, and I left it behind. We left it behind, but I,” Tommy kisses Evan’s knuckles, “I really wish to have this experience with you.”
Evan, with wet eyes and one of the most bright smiles Tommy ever saw, kisses him before saying, “look at my browser history.”
Tommy frowns, but does as he is told.
And what he sees makes him chuckle with tears of joy falling from his eyes.
how to ask your husband about second baby
recommendations how to ask your husband about trying for second baby
how long it takes to get pregnant after stopping birth control
second pregnancy. what to expect
how to prepare your house for coming of second baby
how to prepare your oldest kid for coming of new one
Np tagging @powersuitup @hippolotamus @wikiangela @quintessenceofdust88 @theotherbuckley @weewookinard @queerbuck @repressedqueen @racerchix21 @typicalopposite @mmso-notlikethat @devirnis @loucifersbitch @lavenderleahy @bewilderedbuckley @bekkachaos @pirrusstuff @evansbuck-ley @desert--moonchild @actuallyitsellie @hyperfocusthusly @leashybebes @half-oz-eddie @bi-buckrights
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heyyy! can i request “i’m scared of losing you” (from angst1) with oscar piastri?
❝ i’m scared of losing you ❞ — oscar piastri
pairing | oscar piastri x reader
content warnings | lots of miscommunication, angst, comfort, happy ending
★ JOIN MY SHORT N SWEET FRIENDSGIVING !
─────────────────────────
it had been a few months since you last attended a race due to your job obligations but in oscar’s eyes he only saw it as one thing; you’ve missed him winning a race, twice now.
in his eyes he thought you may no longer love him that he wasn’t worth enough for you. however, in your eyes you believed he no longer loved you especially due to his lack of presence in your life and never asking you to join him for a race weekend in months. both of you afraid to lose each other didn’t touch on the subject and living as if everything is okay.
until it wasn’t.
“i may not win another race this season but i would appreciate your support! you weren’t there for my two wins and i…i’m tired of this,” oscar argued back, you had both gone out to dinner in monaco after he returned from singapore. it started with a sweet conversation of what to do for the break to now bitter comments towards each other.
“tired of what? of me? i’m trying, oscar. i just started my third year of university and then work—.”
“work! it’s always work this work that. they always need you for something even though it’s not even in your title to do all that! you drop everything to be there for them but you can’t be there for me not even once…baby?” his mean words hit you immediately and you sit on the couch of your apartment hands covering your face as you sob uncontrollably.
“baby, yn…hey, hey breathe with me. it’s okay i’m here” oscar whispers on your ear, both arms cradling you now. was it okay? his approach may not have been the best but he wasn’t wrong. your job had been putting too much on your plate when you were meant to just be an underpaid intern who was doing multiple jobs that were not your responsibility.
“but you aren’t here, osc. i…i know that your career is demanding but you didn’t take a second to look back and realize i ease being left behind. i feel guilty i wasn’t there for your two wins especially your first. i begged my job to let me just visit you for a day to celebrate but they made me stay. it wasn’t even my day to work and i still stayed. i chose a job that doesn’t value me over you…you do care about me maybe not right now—.”
“i’m gonna stop you right there. i’m an idiot who didn’t bother asking how you’ve been recently and expecting you to support me more when i didn’t see what you’d been going through. i’m so sorry,” he whispers, his forehead pressed against yours kissing your tears away.
you whisper out five words you’d been feeling for awhile now, “i’m scared of losing you,” closing your eyes ready for oscar to say you’ve already lost him, “i’m scared too.” his voice matches your vulnerability.
opening your eyes looking at him in shock, “you are?” you felt like you were both taking a big step in admitting this. maybe, just maybe this would help in repairing your relationship.
“i am. i think we’ve been selfish towards each other but we also haven’t communicated right. i should have asked you more about how the job was treating you-,”
“i should have asked you how the team had been treating you.” you counter back and he chuckles.
“i know you want to be independent when it comes to your career. but i think you should quit that job and focus on school only. i know you don’t want me to take care of you financially but just let me do that for now until you graduate and find a job that will value the skills you have. i can’t lose us. i can’t lose you, yn. i love you.” his words filled with nothing but love, oscar meant well and for once you decide to take him up on the offer he’d been giving you since you started dating two years ago.
“okay.” a simple word replacing your frown into a smile on each others faces. there was work to do on your communication with each other but for now you both got to breathe a sigh of relief after facing a fear that would no longer happen.
#★ short n sweet friendsgiving event#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri drabble#oscar piastri blurb#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri
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My favourite activity to indulge in recently in non-stop binging The Crane Wives' songs, especially the new album, and tallying how many times I can somehow link the lyrics to Desert Duo.
At this point it might be a talent of delusion, and I am winning.
Here is a list of lyrics in the newest album that I am particularly delusional about (it's long. It's 2am)
(btw it's every single new song. I am tired as fuck)
Scars:
"All the love, all the kindness, all your best-laid plans/Couldn't stop me from becoming the way that I am" (3rd Life reference referring to Scar inevitable turning red despite all of Grian's plans to keep him alive and safe)
"A fatal fault at the start/Tell me it's inevitable that I'd end up with scars" (3rd Life, when Scar is quickly killed in the beginning by Grian)
"Nothing could have been done/Is that right?" (3rd Life. Conversation between Grian and Scar after the creeper prank)
"Nothing could have been done" (3rd Life. After Scars falls to red)
"Nothing could have been done/Is that right?" (3rd Life. After Grian kills Scar with his own bare hands)
"End up with scars from falling/Down, down" (3rd Life, Grian's final death via suicide)
"We were always meant to fall apart" (Not even one specific series. Every single one of them actually.)
Bitter Medicine:
"Are you ashamed of me, or did you buy what I'm selling?" (3rd Life reference about Scar's scamming nature and Grian's disappointment that hides the fact that he's charmed by Scar. Every. Single. Time.)
"Made my bed but I'll sleep anywhere, anywhere" (Wild Life reference. I think we all know. Pillows smelling like waffles? Yeah.)
Higher Ground:
"I gave up the truth and now I can't take it back" (3rd Life. Grian telling Scar that he was the one that brought the creeper over. Or. Double Life Grian if he ever told Scar about his Secret Soulmate. OR. Wild Life, Grian telling Scar literally anything about the wildcard)
"I didn't wanna hurt anyone" (Oh.)
"The corvids are calling/Warning the forest a predator is approaching/Am I in danger, or am I the threat" (Grian is often characterised as a corvid if not a parrot. Basically any scenario in Wild Life where Grian is warning Scar about the wildcards despite the fact that he is at fault of making them happen)
Predator:
"What were you thinking?/Shouldn't you know better?/You opened a door for an apex predator" (Any scenario in which Scar welcomes Grian into his home and doesn't think twice about the danger the other could be harbouring. His trust for Grian is unimaginable)
"I keep forgetting the lessons I've learned/So I keep getting hurt" (Before Scar won, he never remembered what had happened with Grian, so he went back to him for safety multiple times, teamed with him, didn't mind his company, not knowing the dangers that Grian represents just by existing)
"Your heart is a nasty place/I'm afraid to say no to you" (...Yeah)
"Keep your lies and your denial/I am fighting for survival/My heart is a changing shape/What if I said no to you?" (DOUBLE LIFE DESERT DUO TAKE ME HOME. The 'changing shape' line implying that their soulmates could change their soulbound partners if they really wanted to, and could adapt to being with another if they desired it)
"You took advantage of another anxious people-pleaser" (I can't keep doing this. Honestly, depending on your point of view, this could go either way for them in varying seasons, they're doomed in every universe)
"I keep forgetting that you wont learn/So I keep getting hurt" (And now it switches to Grian on this paralleling line. He forgets about Scar's undying loyalty and falls into the trap of his safety every time, only to come out hurting him or not protecting him like he swore to in 3rd Life. This line goes so hard)
Say It:
"Say it/If it's over, say it/So I can move forward/Please don't leave me in the dark/Praying for a wayward spark" (This whole chorus screams them. They won't communicate. They never officially separate from one another, always somehow intertwined, but neither will finalise their allyship. I need therapy)
"I'm haunted by your tenderness" (3rd Life Grian traumatised by the half-hearted hits Scar was giving because he was letting Grian win, he never wanted to fight, he felt Grian deserved to win because he had done so so much for him. He was completely smitten)
"And if we meet as strangers again/Would you refuse to meet my eyes?" (Grian internally questioning Scar after he killed him in the 3rd Life finale, harbouring more guilt than he can comprehend, literally)
"You know I'm loyal to a fault" (Scar and Grian interchangeably in 3rd Life...)
"I will sit here waiting/Waiting for the axe to fall" (Scar submitting his life to Grian after they are left the last two alive. And also, if you're insane for Treebark, there is a glaringly obvious implication of Martyn feeling incredible guilt after axing Ren down to red, even if he asked him to.)
Mad Dog:
"Keep looking for the end of the tunnel/Never seems to get any closer" (The two waiting as winners for the games to end and alongside it, their suffering as well. They will never be free from circling around each other, over and over and over again)
"We both know the ship is gonna sink/But I keep reaching for the shore/Never seems to get any closer" (They both keep reaching towards each other, knowing that they will never truly be able to be together, especially after the first time where they did, and it ended horribly for them)
Arcturus Beaming:
"My sanctuary to worship the pain" (References the panda sanctuary that Scar built to help the soulmates heal their bonds, only to never complete its purpose with the two that needed it the most, ironically including the one that built it)
"And I am tired of forming a cliff face/Inside of my chest now" (Grian remembering jumping off of Monopoly Mountain and the weight that it now burdens his heart with. This line is diabolical with the right context)
"I'm grieving all that I gave" (Both of them grieving the sacrifices they made for one another, their sacrifices only making their relationship more strained overtime)
"A mirror image of us here, but they're pointing up at our sun and/Asking themselves/What exists beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond?" (Other versions of themselves in different life series looking at their 3rd Life selves and wondering what it was like to be so tightly allied)
"But there's still time, it's not too late/Nothing will change until I change" (Grian's attempt at teaming with Scar in Limited Life, savouring the time he had with him before killing him. He will never change their bond, he is always destined to kill him one way or another)
Time Will Change You:
"Planting hearts in a grave/Pray they grow after it rains" (Grian burying all his allies, hoping that as he digs their graves, he can heal their broken bonds, the cracks only caused by himself. This can unfortunately apply to a lot of Grian's allies, but Grian and Scar's relationship tries to heal itself each season)
"Someday/Time will change you/You'll leave behind what doesn't move" (Someday Scar will remember and he'll leave Grian behind once he realises that Grian was never able to move on, and that his heart is still stuck neck deep in the sand where both their bodies laid at the end of 3rd Life)
"Give me a chance to get this right/I'm learning how to let go" (They're learning, but they'll always fail, no matter how many chances)
Black Hole Fantasy:
"There's a black hole in the living room floor/I keep trying to ignore, but it's growing" (Their need to team and interact is overwhelming, and the longer they ignore one another, the larger their need will get)
"If love is just a chemical reaction/Is there a pill to take? Something to quell this ache? Is this the real thing or a distraction/Is it worth the risk?/My life would detonate" (Mmmmmm I'm losing it here)
"I'm on my way to your house, I can't wait anymore" (Yeah.)
"My knuckles hesitate an inch away from the door/What happens when it opens?" (They've spent so much time apart and away from one another that they feel fear that the moment they reconnect, it won't be the same as it was in the desert)
"And on the other side is another life/A version of me with a spark in her eyes that I don't have" (Looking back to 3rd Life when everything was simpler and happier)
"You pull me in your arms and I feel your heart pounding/I take a step back to catch my breath/And we look at each other and double over/And laugh, and laugh, and laugh" (Yeah. Just yeah. This whole verse makes me sob)
Red Clay:
(Already I want to make a link to 'red' and Scar's existence in 3rd Life being very red)
"Blistering sun, my sweat soaking my clothing" (THE DESERT???)
"We don't have to do this the hard way" (We don't have to battle to the death bare handed. We don't have to.)
River Rushing:
"I know I can't grow with a hand around my throat/Hold yourself steady/Whenever you're ready" (Reference to their fight to the death in 3rd Life)
This entire song is just a narration of their fight honestly and it makes me violent.
#life series#traffic smp#life series smp#3rd life#last life#double life#limited life#secret life#wild life#grian#gtws#gtwscar#goodtimeswithscar#trafficblr#trafficshipping#desert duo#scarian#im going insane#This took me over an hour#and I'm not ok#GO LISTED TO THIS ALBUM IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY#MY GODDDDD#I get violent over these two it's not even funny#They're so upsettingly tragic I can't breathe#there might be typos or smth but I can't be asked to proof read this rn it's 2:38am and i have college#the crane wives
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The Arrangement - Part 12
Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.
Warnings: Anxiety, Bad parents and siblings, Talking about abuse. Let me know if I missed any!
Part 11 - Part 13
Series Masterlist
It had been just over a week since your wedding. You and Jake have improved your communication. He's also managed to really set himself up in the home theater where he'd spent that first night. Apparently one thing your parents got right was the massive pair of recliners specifically for that room. Jake swears they're more comfortable than most of the beds he's slept on over the years. It makes you feel better about taking the master bedroom for yourself. Clay had visited again bringing a few duffel bags of Jake's things, including his computer. The massive screen for the theater worked really well for his setup.
While you were cooking, Clay had made sure to update Jake on the status of his family. Things were working pretty well, but there were going to be a lot of paper trails to hide so that they couldn't be followed. Or at least, not followed easily. Aisha and Cougar had both caught a couple of people following his family around that were confirmed to be employed by his parents. Hopefully now that Jake had his computer he could get some better intel on the parents' finances and connections.
But you weren't privy to that update. Jake and Clay agreed it was safer to keep you in the dark about the details. Though Jake didn't doubt your sincerity, there were still too many unknowns about you.
You really didn't mind that they got quiet whenever you were near. Your mind was already at maximum anxiety with Travis, your brother, still being in the Intensive Care Unit. Your parents had been acting unusually as the week progressed and Travis didn't get better. According to the police report he'd been seen drinking heavily with friends before trying to drive home. Usually one of his friends would be the designated driver and keep everyone's keys but, somehow, Travis had gotten his keys.
And now your parents seemed to be readjusting their life plans, and yours as well. The one time you were allowed to visit the hospital you'd overheard your parents murmuring about "he can't be seen like this," "he'll be seen as weak," and other similar thoughts. It made you worried you and Jake would be even more under their scrutiny, set to even higher standards. Your breath hitched as you realized they may demand a grandchild to help change the public perception of the family to one of hope or something like that.
You and Jake were getting ready for your first public event as a couple. You're helping Jake pick out the right suit while doing your best to answer his questions about what to expect, what is appropriate conversation, how much both of you needed to talk to others before you could leave. You know you're missing things. Jake does, too. But neither of you can think of the questions to ask so you establish a silent signal for help. Jake squeezes your hand three times and you either step in or whisper some advice in his ear. It's not a great system, but it's all you can do for now.
Jake hates how he looks in all of this but he knows it's not about him or his comfort. At least he doesn't have to wear the torture device you call a dress. The thing looks impossibly tight on you. He's worried about your ability to breathe. And the stiletto heels have you warning him you'll be on his arm all night to help you keep your balance. Jake actually takes comfort in that because he really doesn't want to be left alone at this event. Probably any event, but this first one especially.
As the car pulls up Jake takes a deep breath and you attempt the same.
"We can do this, right?" He says quietly.
"I believe we can," you nod. You gently squeeze his hand in reassurance like you did that first morning with the parents.
He nods, "let's do this."
As soon as he's able Jake is out of the car and opening your door for you. The last time he did so you were scared of each other. Now you make sure to give him a small smile of thanks as he takes your hand. The elevator ride to the party is as quiet as the one you took together your wedding night, but less oppressively so. It isn't until the elevator doors open that you both put on your fake smiles. Both of you taking small comfort in the fact that neither of you is suffering alone.
After the first couple hours Jake is ready to punch someone, anyone, just so he can be forced to leave since he's not allowed out yet. He's incredibly grateful you insisted on eating a little something beforehand. The food here is barely edible and dissolves faster than cotton candy. He hates the wine? Champagne? Whatever the hell it is, he hates the taste of it but, in following your lead, he knows he has to at least sip often enough to warrant a replacement glass every 30 minutes or so. Jake was grateful to have your weight on his arm to help keep him grounded.
Especially when Charles Blackwood, a "friend" of his from high school, showed up. Charles had been nothing but a leech throughout all of high school but Jake was desperate for some kind of friendship.
"Jacob! Where have you been?" Charles holds out his hand and Jake grips it firmly.
"I've been okay, Charles. You?"
"Holy crap, you're married now? Is that why you finally came out of hiding?"
"Sort of," he admits.
He goes to introduce you but Charles stops him. "I know this lovely lady quite well," he admits. You avert your eyes. "We were engaged for some time."
"You were?"
"Didn't she tell you?" Charles smirks. "Would've been married for two years now if her parents hadn't stepped in."
"For once I'm glad they did," you interject. "You're a conman who shouldn't be here."
Charles gives a small laugh, "well look who finally grew up. Too bad you didn't pick up on what was going on before I got you into bed." Your cheeks burn with embarrassment. "How are those dolphin projects going?"
"Sharks," Jake snipes. "Her focus was on sharks."
"Ooo, nerd standing up for nerd. How cute."
"You need to leave us alone," Jake fumes. "She is my wife and I won't let you insult her."
Charles scoffs, "since when can you fight?"
"Since boot camp."
That gives Charles pause. He searches Jake's face for tells that he's lying but finds none.
"Yeah, alright," Charles concedes. "Just don't ruin this party for me. Lots of other potential targets."
As soon as he was out of hearing range you let out a breath. "I'm so sorry," your voice quavers. "I should have...I should have told you."
"Told me what? That your ex-fiance is an asshole? That's not something you need to divulge."
"No...that...that I'm not..."
Jake leans in so that you're the only one who hears him. "You're more than just your virginity status. I'm sorry your first time was with him, he doesn't seem the type to make your pleasure a priority, but I'm not upset that you've had sex before."
You take as deep a breath as you can to steady yourself. "Thank you for that."
"So, can we leave the party yet?"
You check Jake's watch, trying not to be obvious about it. "We've got at least another half hour."
"When we do get out of here, would you be up for going out for some real food?"
You chuckle, "maybe delivery? Or take out? I'm not going to be able to eat much in this dress."
"Fair. And thank you for helping me get through all of this."
"Thank you for listening to my advice," you counter.
"Always," Jake affirms.
Part 11 - Part 13
Series Masterlist
Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @embarrasingmf;
@irishhappiness; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82;
@ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63
#jake jensen#jake jensen x reader#jake jensen x female reader#arranged marriage au#jake jensen x you
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Every You Every Me
The Final Story (Part 2)
Time to finish this! [Edit from the future: I did not like this finale, so there's your warning!]
Ngl once the reveal was done and we were just in a bl about two annoying actors with a bad relationship this got less interesting. Still love the narrative device of this being about an actor pair across shows, though, that was clever. I just wish this actual story about Pun and Inn was better.
Part of my issue with this final plot is I still don't even know why Inn broke up with Pun in the first place. I don't really know what Inn's supposed to be apologizing for, other than this vague idea that he was self-absorbed. Meanwhile we actually did see Pun shut Inn out of his career decisions which directly affect him, so this one-sided apology feels weird.
I also don't love the connection they drew here between their personal and professional relationships, like they couldn't do their jobs if they weren't getting along. We know actors can act through a ton of BTS strife and still turn in good performances (EarthMix MLC divorce era, anyone?).
Like, why is Pun sobbing this hard after dumping Inn? Why dump him if he's still this attached?? Why ditch him for a new partner without ever discussing it? I don't really get Pun's deal here.
"Years later" well that's nice and vague, thanks chyron.
Why are the bad actor side pair here in this film? We saw them together and they were terrible, it was part of the plot!
Suddenly, a flashback? Inn is drunk so it's def time for a bl white towel sponge bath.
I am... so confused. When did this drunken heart to heart take place? Before or after the dramatic breakup? And why would they have to wait years to be together? But Pun assumed Inn didn't even remember??
Okay so if I have pieced this together right, they had this drunken convo the same night we saw them out with their friends, then wrapped the show, then had a dramatic breakup despite having already had this conversation and Pun knowing that, but Inn didn't remember/thought it was a dream, and they just didn't speak for years until Inn showed up with the flowers. This is so convoluted and I am just baffled over here.
Anyway, I guess they're gonna get married now even though they have a really bad and non communicative relationship. Sure!
Quite a choice to skip any physical intimacy scenes for the "real" couple after all that. I don't think I like it.
What a mess of a final episode. It's so strange that they went to the trouble of coming up with this interesting and creative narrative and executed it pretty well only to falter on coming up with a basic romance arc to finish the story well. I'm disappointed this didn't end stronger so I could recommend it to people. Ah well, at least Mick and Top are a good pair; their chemistry did a lot of the heavy lifting. And it was fun watching the shows within the show and puzzling out what was going on. I'm glad they tried something different even if they didn't land it in the end.
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WARNING: HORRIBLE STUFF WILL BE MENTIONED IN HERE
if you are under 18 then I recommend you probably shouldn't look at this post
I'm making this post because I don't want to interact with this person AT ALL and I'm showing you WHY.
(I'm saying sorry here because I genuinely have a hard time making long posts. If I sound weird or I don't make any sense just dm me or comment.)
TO THE PERSON I'M TALKING ABOUT: I don't care if you see this or not. Just don't interact with me.
This will have nsfw art of Mitzi and Beach Bear so yea...
WARNING: I AM SHOWING PICTURES AS PROOF
I don't know if people have made a post like this but I remembered those posts a while ago about how we shouldn't idolize creeps in the fandom just because they have a big collection or they're popular.
I didn't want to put this on my main because I didn't want one of my muts to be triggered by this post.
.
.
.
I don't know how to start this so I'm just going to jump right into it. (WARNING I suck at spelling so there will probably be tons of errors)
Back when I was 17, me and this other person (who was also 17 who I don't wanna mention for privacy) had a conversation about weird people in the RAE fandom on discord. We talked about how there were so many creeps in the community and they brought up CavitySam. (CS) Then they basically showed me what I'm gonna show you. I've only thought about making a post like this today because I've just been thinking about it a lot. So I went on a search for that disgusting picture (it wasn't hard to find) I was 17 when I found out about all of this stuff so I didn't think it was a good idea to say anything. Now I'm 18 so I feel like I should say something.
(I believe CS goes by she/Her because I've seen people refer to her as such so that's what I'm gonna use.)
SO NOW I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHAT I'VE FOUND
I was shown this picture of Beach Bear and Mitzi... and as you can see the artstyle of the nsfw art matches with CavitySam's artstyle.
Here is massive evidence: on the page on the nsfw website there was nsfw of Kedamono that was basically an nsfw version of CS's sfw art of him.
It wasn't some horrible edit. The lewd part matched right with the other line art perfectly like it had always been there.
I do have a Google doc I can link to anyone who wants to see the half censored Pic of Kedamono, Mitzi, and Beach Bear for more proof.
I not trying to say that CS is a full blown ped0 (bc I can't say if that's true or not. I know people have said on other platforms that she is but i can't say for certain) but SHE STILL MADE FULL BLOWN NSFW ART OF BEACH BEAR AND MITZI. THAT'S DISGUSTING. I know a lot of people in the rae community on here. I know that you guys don't support this disgusting stuff.
If you wanna defend CS idc. There's no way that this isn't her art. They look so similar. I would be absolutely shocked if it wasn't. And in all honesty I don't want it to be. I really wish people wouldn't make nasty stuff with Mitzi in it. I believe CS made art for Aaron at one point and knowing that just makes me feel nasty.
I don't really know how to end this.
I'm sorry for such a serious post but I feel like it's unfair to people who don't know.
#serious post#suggestive#tw: pedophila mention#tw pedophila mention#call out tw#tw callout#tw horrible stuff mentioned#mitzi mozzarella#beach bear#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza#showbiz pizza place
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Sunshine
Chapter 4
Description: will Ray agree to join the team? Will she go to Mexico with them..? Will she remember how to shoot straight? Who knows..
You listened to what Price had offered. You really tried to find it in yourself to agree, but no. “I can’t do that..”
“Can’t do what..?” - “expect your men to trust me. To, for want of a better term, take a bullet for me.. it’s not fair. Christ, even I wouldn’t trust me as far as you could throw me..”
“..” You glance around at the three men, all silent, the Scot fidgeting with his hoodie strings and Ghost staring straight at back at you. The Captain starts to respond, but you cut him off, earning an exasperated sigh from the man.
“Also.. I’ve been out for months, over a year, in fact... What makes you so sure I can still shoot straight. Hold my own in a fight? What if it’s all gone? Any potential you may have seen in me. It’s gone. I’m exhausted, Captain. You’re placing too much trust in me. I’ll let you down. Your team, I can see it’s precious to you. I can’t be trusted with that responsibility…”
The man clears his throat and sends a wry smile in your direction.
“You don’t lose that sort of skill. It stays with you forever. If, for your own peace of mind, you’d like to go down the range and sharpen up, then feel free. Likewise, if you’d like to spar and polish up on your hand to hand, then I’m sure one of the boys here can help. Gaz, too, once he is fighting fit, which won’t be long. As far as trust goes, I look at it this way. Trust is a two way street. If you trust me, my team, enough to join us, then we will trust you enough to fight alongside. Simple as that, really”.
You clench your jaw, annoyed at yourself for even considering this. No, surely not.. snap out of it!! Just as you think of something to say to help get you out of this, the captain speaks again.
“You have my word, y/n, you’re free to leave. If at any point you want out, just tell me. I’ll sign the papers, set you up with a new identity and new house, you’ll be out. For good. I’ll give you the clearance, make sure you get your pension, your insurance, retirement, everything, you'll be discharged. I can say it’s on medical grounds.."
You can’t quite believe his offer. When you’d thrown that tantrum at the ceremony, they’d take everything from you. Everything that the Captain had just listed, gone, you had a red stamp across your name.
DISHONOURABLY DISCHARGED
You feel your throat constrict. You clear it slightly, trying to relieve the lump that had settled there.
“Fine” you murmur, not looking up from your shoe laces, if you looked at any of them now, you might change your mind and go running back to your shitty life on the outskirts of town. You’d been more dead for the past 18 months, than you would have been if you’d actually have died in Russia, with the rest of your unit. It had been a sorry existence. One of solitude, and misplaced anger. You’d made your bed and laid in it, so to speak. And God, was it a horrible, lumpy, uncomfortable bed..
“Fine, I’ll do it” you repeat, turning on your heel and leaving the room.
“Welcome to the team, Ray. Johnny will show you to your room, and give you a quick tour of the base” the Captain replies, in an even tone, hiding his slight surprise at your agreement.
You glance to Johnny, who immediately snaps out of his dazed state and jumps to his task. “Right, yeah, ok! Follow me, lass”.
You follow Soap, who cleverly decides not to make conversation, this time. He arrives at a room.
“This is you..” he explains pointing to the door in front of him. He then points to his left “that’s Gaz..” then to his right “and that’s me - Cap and Ghost have their own rooms in the next hall. The common room is at the end of this hallway - 141 only. The communal mess hall is back the way we came, near the infirmary. The gym —”
You decide to interrupt. “That’s all, you can go.. I know where everything else is” you murmur, accidentally harshly. He immediately turns and it makes you feel guilty for your tone. Christ, you’d not had to be nice to anyone for years.. you were rusty.
As he turns away with a glum look on his usually too cheery face, you wince, realising that you’d upset him. You step into the room he had shown you, closing the door behind you. It was a typical military base room. A bed in the middle, a chest of drawers and a wardrobe, with a desk on the other side of the room. Basic and simple. You dump your bags on the bed and start rummaging through what little you had left.
These bags hadn’t been touched since you’d left. They were still packed from when Price and Kyle had arrived to your room immediately after storming out from the ceremony. As you unzip the rucksack, filled with your old life, your dog tags tumble down and snag on the zip.
You try to blink away the sting in your eyes, holding them up to the light with the metal chain. They clink against each other, flashing the artificial ceiling light into your eyes . Up close, you can see small scratches and tiny divots - scars left behind from years of service.
After a deep breath, you lift them and secure them around your neck - finally back where they belong. They feel cold against your skin, but the sensation feels familiar. Pull yourself together!
The next thing in your bag, is your old shemagh. It is tattered, torn and frayed at the edges. It���d always been with you on the field. You’d never been anywhere without it. If it wasn’t around your neck, it was tied to a gun, or around a belt loop. It was your good luck charm. God, the miles that old scarf had done…
You noticed that the Captain and Gaz usually wear one of their own around their necks. You weren’t sure if theirs held the same emotional attachment as yours did, but you assumed their ‘items’ were the hats that always donned their heads, and Ghost’s was his mask. You weren’t sure what Soap’s thing was yet..
As you pull it from the rucksack, the fabric feels so soft in your hands, you scrunch it up and take a huge inhale of its scent. Memories flood your vision. You sit down on the bed, allowing yourself a moment to reminisce on the past.
A knock on the door pulls you from your thoughts.
“Y/n? Still in ‘ere?” The voice asks.
You roll your eyes. It was Gaz.
“What do you want?”
“To catch up..” he replies, undeterred
“Already have..”
“C’mon, Ray.. let me in..” he whines, trying the handle.
Damn it, should have locked the door.
He freezes when he sees you, sitting on the bed, hands wrapped around your military scarf and wearing your dog tags around your neck. He eyes you for what seems like ages. Eventually he speaks..
“There she is!” he smirks “knew you couldn’t resist...”
#john mctavish x reader#john soap mactavish#john price x reader#simon riley x reader#task force x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick#task force 141
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, we won! 🎉
Greedy fossil fuel companies have been kicked off the climate negotiation table by the European Union. The EU Climate Commissioner, Hoekstra, did not invite Big Oil and Gas lobbyists to join his delegation to the global climate talks taking place in Baku, Azerbaijan right now. [1]
For too long, the fossil fuel lobby has dominated conversations on how to solve the climate crisis. All to maintain their business model of drilling and burning ever more planet-killing oil and gas for profits and stop any action that could save our earth.
But now, thanks to people like you, the EU has made a historic step and finally said “No more!”
While our leaders were discussing urgent climate action, torrential rains in Valencia, Spain, claimed hundreds of lives and left thousands homeless. [2] Floods, droughts, deaths - we need decisions that end our addiction to fossil fuels and this will not happen with the fossil fuel industry whispering in our leaders' ears.
Together, we’ve worked hard for this victory.
Last year we raised our voices during Hoekstra’s appointment as the EU climate Commissioner. Making clear we would be monitoring whether he breaks with his past of working for the fossil fuel industry. [3]
With 112 other organisations, we sent a letter to Hoekstra, urging him to treat fossil fuel lobbyists the same way as tobacco lobbyists, who are prohibited from participating in health conferences. [4]
We took advantage of the crucial job interview that would determine if Hoekstra could stay for another 5 years. 2100 of you across Europe flooded him with emails, asking him to kick the fossil lobbyists out.
The pressure was so strong that, at the height of the storm, Hoekstra even watched an Instagram story addressing him from WeMove!
The result? Not only did he listen to us and not take fossil fuel lobbyists to the climate talks. We also put enough pressure on him that during his job interview, he publicly backed stricter rules against conflicts of interest with the fossil fuel lobby in all EU climate decisions. [5]
But, the battle isn’t over. 113 fossil fuel lobbyists infiltrated this year’s climate talks through national delegations from countries like Italy, Greece, and Belgium. [6] With all deciding climate talks in just one year, and time to tackle the climate crisis running out, there’s no room for error. [7]
We must pressure national leaders as we did with Hoekstra, but we need more support to succeed. Share this campaign and invite others to join; together, we can win the next stage of this fight.
SHARE FOR A FOSSIL-FREE FUTURE
With joy and determination,
Hajar (Bologna), Olga (Warsaw), Rachel (Amsterdam) and the whole WeMove Europe team.
References:
[1] https://fossilfreepolitics.org/news/europe-brings-gas-lobbyists-to-cop29-to-strike-deals/
[2] https://www.france24.com/en/europe/20241102-volunteers-rally-assist-victims-spain-devastating-floods
[3] Take action for a real EU climate leader
[4] https://fossilfreepolitics.org/news/112-orgs-tell-hoekstra-not-to-bring-fossil-fuel-lobbyists-to-cop29/
[5] https://www.politico.eu/article/5-things-to-know-about-climate-chief-wopke-hoekstras-hearing/
[6] https://www.euronews.com/my-europe/2024/11/18/defeating-its-purpose-fossil-fuel-lobbyists-accompany-european-governments-to-cop29
[7] https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2024/oct/24/crunch-time-for-real-un-says-time-for-climate-delays-has-run-out
WeMove Europe is a community of people from all walks of life, who call Europe our home, no matter where we were born, where we live or who we love. In the name of a brighter future for people and the planet, we come together to sign petitions, send letters and protest on the streets to make our voices heard.
Our power comes from each other. And it's thanks to small weekly donations, fivers and tenners, that we can keep going. Please help keep WeMove Europe strong by chipping in!
DONATE!
To the European Commission, European Parliament and Council of the European Union
Petition
We need fossil free politics before it’s too late. If EU decision-makers really want to introduce policies that benefit people and the planet then they need to stop listening to the fossil fuel industry.
We the supporters of this petition demand institutions enforce a firewall between the fossil fuel industry and decision-makers:
by ending decision-makers’ interactions with the industry (that means no lobby meetings, no seats on expert and advisory bodies)
by avoiding conflicts of interest for government officials and employees, including closing the “revolving door” between the public sector and the fossil fuel industry
by ending the preferential treatment of the fossil fuel industry in climate negotiations
and by rejecting partnerships and sponsorships with the fossil fuel industry
We need to cut fossil fuel interests out of politics.
Why is this important?
EU Commissioners and high-level officials meet with fossil fuel lobbyists almost every single day. [1]
Politicians are talking out of both sides of their mouth - promising us the ambitious climate laws we’ve fought for while having daily meetings with Big Oil and Gas. The EU even put an ex-Shell consultant in charge of their climate policies. [2] You couldn’t make this farce up.
But we can break up this cosy relationship. These weeks will see the new ‘ministers’ called Commissioners for the EU nominated. Who is chosen for these powerful positions and who they’re friendly with, will determine how much fossil fuel lobbyists can pollute our plans to address climate change.
Conversations are underway right now over who gets the powerful Commissioner jobs. We want those writing the rules to know we are watching them. If we create a huge noise, it’ll rule out any politicians in the pocket of the fossil fuel industry.
Add your voice for a strong firewall between the EU and the fossil fuel industry.
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Please forgive me if this is a question you're tired of hearing 😅 I am not much in the cat community so I don't know if this is an exhausted point. I was just wondering if the stereotype of Siamese cats being super vocal is true?
Yes. Live in fear. The first 18 months of Zuko's time with us was full of yells and suffering. You can hear it outside your house, they will outlast you, the only answer is to reach a compromise with a cat. If you are not prepared to be held hostage by a cat, DNI
#in all seriousness#it was hell#the asshole was cold and too enotional about being cold to go into the heated bed#that was it#and also learning meal times#asshole demands constant food access#its soooo funny though#to have a conversation with him now that we can communicate#it is also absolutely not exhausted because if i had a pointed dsh and then got zuko#i swear i would have thought he was possessed#he is EXTREMELY high energy and high interaction needs#its much better now that he is turning 3 this year#but having lived with a dsh i could make pant in like 8 minutes of what i consider low intensity play#i can absolutely say that if you arebt prepared to change your life to help enrich theirs you might not be happy LOL
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im so crazy over the tragedy of everything q!bbh does being under a demon pretense even though he's a fallen angel.
do u think he just accepts the demon label because it's easier. do u think he believes it too, and catches himself in his thoughts with "oh, right. im not exactly that". and maybe he believes that he did this to himself? do u think what he did was to protect himself or someone? no matter the fall, he still has so much kindness to give and his brain just isn't wired the way a natural-born demon would be, he can't hold back instincts when time demands it, maybe that's why he fell in the first place.
and when he's finally bad, not good, it's treated like the end of the world, without empathy on why he would act out. do you think this keeps happening? the same scenario, multiple times, every timeline? he has to be used to it. so he has to take it in stride. he's good until he lashes out under extreme pressure, and suddenly he's called demon. and once again he's what heaven made him out to be. what he made himself to be, his brain would ruthlessly provide...
i don't think he wants to be that, though he hides secrets behind secrets of which neither identity is a home... but i don't think he wants to have to change, either. and i don't think that's wrong of him.
...you collapse atlantis ONE TIME and all of a sudden YOU'RE the bad guy and SURE it was FUN but REALLY now,--
#lots of expansion on this in tags beware#this is a draft from 2:40AM the day before i just felt something within me and i needed to write about fallen angel q!bbh angst NOW#this post is brought to you by q!bbh in purgatory and post-purgatory i will never forgive you purgatory 1#no one can bear to have a healthy conversation about q!bbh's behaviors let alone TO q!bbh. BUT IF Q!BAGHERA WASN'T STUCK ON THE ISLAND...#i miss u bbh + baghera interactions let me see u soon pls#he isn't impossible to communicate with ur just not jiving with his autism right u can get through to him i swear BUT TOO LATE he DIED#now he doesn't remember!!! (unless that part of the library is recovered) u lost ur shot!!! (ur issues with him will rise again)#now every time bagi goes “'cause he's a demon” with bbh i go OH MAN SHE DOESN'T KNOW IT'S MORE... it hurts how flippant it is sometimes#because WE KNOW OH MAN WE KNOW IT'S MORE and this concept of him being fallen adds SO MUCH CONNOTATION to EVERYTHING he does#it isn't just DEMON THINGS it's GOD MADE ME THIS THINGS and i just can't wait to know WHY what did you DO!!!#your instincts are to be nice though cautiously detached when your life restarts so WHAT DID YOU DO IF YOU ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD???#goopert talks qsmp#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo
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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.
#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her#and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura#he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life#deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was#he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least#he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship#but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way#Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless#he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it#she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone#he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home#he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes#Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon#but promises feel costly these days#he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura#someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here#his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them#but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here#he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention#he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods#he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.
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#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted#i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter#the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back#and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context#or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with#''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!''#which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it#BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM????#and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with#i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together#but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person#it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist#but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary#of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be#and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it#but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well#or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations#and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think#or even what other people understand#but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun#and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time#he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i#and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma#is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!''#that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels#i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott#idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back#but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it
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still relationship ranting forgive me (it's all positive, more or less?)
it's also why it is really funny to me that people constantly talk about like 'i want to be in a relationship but i don't want [one specific part]' and it's like
you can just... you can just NOT do that part, then.
you can NOT cohabitate, if you think living with someone would take away your comfort with your living situation. you can not have sex if you don't want to have sex. you can use or not use any label, you can use or not use any terms of affection, you can choose your level of consistent contact you can choose your level of physical affection you can choose whether you want to make any long-term decisions like pets or marriage or children. you can choose whether you want to be exclusive or monogamous, you can choose whether you have multiple people involved, you can choose whether you make plans now or talk it out later, you can have an ongoing, long-term conversation where you check in periodically to see if anything has changed or if you want to change something.
like! i know the cishets tell us 'you fall in love with ONE person and you will KNOW when you are in love and you will ONLY ever love them FOREVER unless you FALL OUT OF LOVE and then you will be DOOMED TO A TRAGIC BREAKUP OR CHEATING'
but like in my personal experience... it's more like.... 'you will meet someone and you will feel like you are really connected to them and you get along well and you are attracted to them. you can then either nurture that feeling by spending more time together and testing out whether your initial connection is sustainable or you can let it pass through you and simply let things go wherever they go. then you can tell them how you feel, talk about what you think you'd like or not like, decide whether you want to prioritize your relationship and your time together over other, more casual connections in your life, and try it out. and you can talk about this any time something feels off. and you're not going to fall out of love spontaneously and for no reason when you were happy before; most of the time you'll notice that there's more distance between you and you're not as close or communicative as you were previously pretty early along that path. and you can THEN decide whether you want to say 'hey let's do more things together to help us bond and feel close and open up to each other' or you can say 'i think we've probably changed in a way where we're no longer on the same page with our relationship, do you want to figure out what we both need and adjust accordingly?'
which is like. it sounds so sterile and clinical but it's actually GREAT? feelings aren't this great big overpowering beast that you cannot wrangle; love is not a thing that will just spontaneously stop one day despite your desperate desire to still feel it. the more time you spend with someone and the more you support each other, the closer you will feel. the less time you spend and the less you support each other's needs, the further you will drift. you can 100% grow that garden to your own specifications and you can simply choose not to include sex or cohabitation or monogamy or labels or WHATEVER else and it's great because it's YOUR garden.
there is no one hard definition for any relationship and there is no one specific way to have a relationship. it's literally just seeing what feels right and then describing it in whatever terms feel right.
#like idk sometimes i think i sound incomprehensible#but also i've been with one partner for 13 years now and we have changed IMMENSELY as people#and every time there were points where we didn't feel close or comfortable we just like#figured out what we needed or wanted and talked about how to do it best#and the entire reason i'm with my other partner to begin with#is that he and i have REMARKABLY similar feelings about relationships and we could have a long ongoing conversation about comfort levels-#and boundaries and what he wanted out of a relationship#and that lack of pressure let him actually feel comfortable enough with me to explore relationship aspects he had felt super uncomfortable#with previously#and also the entire conversation is STILL ONGOING and Will be In Perpetuity#there might come a time when he wants to change something or he no longer wants the same things out of a relationship!#there might come a time when he needs to pull back and can't give as much time or emotional closeness!#i don't think he has to Love Me Forever but as long as he WANTS to do this and feels GOOD doing it then#i'm enjoying myself!#and if there comes a point where he doesn't we can figure out what to do#maybe we'll just need to redefine things or maybe we'll need to change something like how much time we spend together#or maybe he'll need something from someone who isn't me or maybe he'll find#that he grows close to someone else and is more comfortable in a monogamous relationship with THEM#it's fine? it's not a worry because i trust him to tell me#i like him and i know he cares about me enough to communicate and to check in#god it's 5pm and i'm ranting again#slaps my hands off the keyboard#anyways love is actually great and good and fun and if you find a person who communicates and works well with you#then you'll figure it out together#it may take time but you'll figure it out!#loong post#long post#long tags#personal#relationships
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Activism is not cold-calling.
Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.
I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.
As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.
Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.
IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.
Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.
This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.
Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.
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#tag talk#we're lowkey making huge progress between us! I'm trying to allow space for Lear to speak even when I'm running the show#I'm a little overbearing I guess. hard to even think about him when I'm in control#but we managed to have a bit of a conversation!!! which honestly might be the best we've ever done in terms of dialogue#usually it's vague thoughts back and forth and then radio silence between us until the slight shift as we switch places#we need to get better at communicating because sharing a partner means we need to communicate about stuff#and sure. neither of us are good at sharing our emotional needs but we can get better it just takes practice#anyway this is cool and I love my boyfriend and I love my headmate a lot he's been through a lot with me#communicating is so important and I'm glad we made it happen.#I keep saying I and then changing to we because I need to not take all the credit for the progress we've made. he deserves some credit too.#but yeah. huge progress. learning to accept my duality and talk about it openly and learn to communicate between the two halves#instead of shutting myself away in a closet somewhere I wanna learn to be open about who I am.#I learned to do that with being gay. I learned to do that last year with being trans. and I'm hopefully learning to do that with plurality#one of these days I'll run out of personal problems to solve. but at least I have a clear goal for personal growth this year now.#here I thought if I could figure out being trans I wouldn't have any more issues to work on. hahaha I was so wrong hhhhhhhh#anyway bye I'm gonna get up and cook some fish and broccoli and rice for breakfast
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