I don't know what's been going on with me recently but like...there's this tiny shred of guilt that I'm not doing anything really engaging on here anymore? Like, my creative block is fading out (finally), but I haven't drawn or written anything substantial recently and I feel really weird about that. Not just for you all looking at my blog, but also just in a creative bust kind of way.
There are ideas and themes and such that I would love to play with or dabble in, but I keep stopping them because they're either too self indulgent or there's no visual work to go with it. I don't really know how to describe it? Like I feel like I've been lazy creatively speaking recently when I COULD be getting more ideas out, but it's about the same ship all the time and idk, I also feel like I've gotten to the point where I'm talking too much again? Not that anyone here has made me feel like that and I have asks that I need to answer so I KNOW I'm not talking too much but I'm!!!! Being splashed with the self conscious and self critical and imposter syndrome buckets and I need them to stop!!!!
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i finally wrote an xword that i think might be nyt-submittable...i originally wrote it for the local paper though so i now have to go back through and rework the clues to take out the specific local ones and make some of the others harder. i know exactly which day of the week this would run in the nyt (if it gets accepted) because this type of theme always runs on the same day, so at least i know which clue difficulty to aim for, but i'm still finding it difficult to hit that precise level! i'm used to just making the clues as easy as possible because my local paper's audience is mostly people who aren't xword aficionados. i already reworked this puzzle a couple times based on feedback from friends and family but that was all still when i thought i'd be running it in my local paper. i kinda just want to be done with it but i've never had a theme and fill i thought were completely nyt-worthy before!
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I think writing fic is mostly making stuff up, even the most canon compliant fic is technically made up and therefore not canon in the traditional sense. And with that logic all fic is made up, and I release you to go wild in your fanfic writing dreams.
Yeah like I definitely agree, it's all just a case of degrees of separation from canon - unless you're writing for the show you're not writing truly canon fic, and even some of the show writers kinda fail at canon compliance lmao.
But tbf different people have different limits for how far they'll go and in what circumstances, and we all have our different preferences in terms of canon compliance (and our own different interpretations of canon to comply to, for that matter. Like straight Hawkeye is technically more canon compliant in terms of creator intent lol but you won't catch me reading anything where Hawkeye is straight.)
So yeah, everyone should definitely write whatever fic they want regardless of canon! But I do have my own personal limits in terms of what lines I want to cross, what's more flexible vs what I can't change without losing interest, even if it's in service to an otherwise interesting scenario.
Like to put my preferences another way, I would be more inclined to write magical AU dubcon featuring a love potion or smthn as a way to facilitate trainwreck Hawk/BJ/Peg, than I would, say, write Hawkeye agreeing to that triad because he's naive enough to think it's actually a good idea, or he loves BJ so much that he'll accept an unbalanced relationship, or he doesn't think he deserves better, etc. That's not My Hawkeye.
(Actually tbf the one non-AU way I think it could work is leaning into Hawkeye quitting his career post-canon in passive giving-up-on-everything depression, maybe his dad dying to make it even worse, and BJ innocently taking advantage, believing he's taking care of him and helping Hawkeye recover when really he's just emotionally manipulating him into becoming his second wife and giving up on his career forever.)
(Or maybe if Hawkeye lost his license...? Alcoholism, or being outed could do it easily. I feel like that could destroy him enough that he'd just cling to anything anyone offered. At least for a while.)
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