#to give himself freedom to not have to write them for another several chapters at least

[kaziaxd]

Just started reading the stolen throne and initial thoughts are that david gaider is incapable of writing strong women without them being dead or about to die

[narrans]

My Borrowed Son | 15 | To My Friends...

Chapter Fifteen | To My Friends…

It was a bit of a restless night for Amanda. She knew it would be a challenge but that it was good for both of them at the same time. Not having Parker sleeping within arm’s length was strange. The maternal part of her wanted to make sure he was okay.

What if he needed something?

What if he had a nightmare?

What if he went to get off of the table and slipped on the ladder or rope? Parker was prone to climbing things after all.

Fretting and worrying took its toll on Amanda and, by morning, she found herself blankly staring at her reflection for several unblinking minutes as the water washed away her toothpaste. There were faint dak rings under her eyes, but perhaps that had to do with the other matter of Parker getting older.

He was growing into a fine young man. He was gaining interests and wanting to explore more things. Just the other day, her son asked her about sports as he practiced his swimming in the bathtub and possibly joining this thing called a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that one of his friends, Billie, was hosting.

Amanda remembered D&D when she was growing up, and it didn’t seem all that interesting if she was being honest.

But Parker was his own person. He needed to be able to express himself and be free to explore the things he wanted to but within reason.

The fear in the back of her mind crept up once again. The omnipresent force that constantly loomed over the disguise that was Parker’s “condition” lurked in the shadows and threatened to rear its ugly head every time Amanda wanted to give Parker the freedom he earned.

There was a portion of Amanda that scolded herself for not telling Parker sooner about his so-called “condition” and how he actually came into her life. The other part, the dominant one, hoped she would never have to tell him. To her, it didn’t matter where he came from. He was her son, and she reasoned that not having answers to his existence was worse than providing one lie.

Regardless of her feelings, Amanda knew that she needed to start letting Parker make some of his own decisions when it came to his interests. If it was dangerous, she would intervein. Otherwise, she needed to trust in Parker and reinforce their lessons when needed.

“Hey mom! Good morning!” Amanda turned and glanced down by her feet to see Parker by the bathroom door that she had left open. “Are you finished?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. Sorry. Good morning Parker,” greeted Amanda as she quickly rinsed out her toothbrush and stepped past Parker into the hall. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, I did. You?” grinned Parker.

“I slept well enough,” his mom replied. “It’s Saturday. Do you want cinnamon rolls or eggs?” The look in his eyes said it all – cinnamon rolls. With a quick nod, Amanda headed off toward the kitchen was Parker started his morning routine.

Parker heaved his way up the line he fixed on the side of the sink, despite his mom insisting he use the ladders for everything, and washed his face and brushed his teeth. The newly minted teen stared at his reflection in the mirror and, for the first time in a while, felt like he was a little different.

He knew his hair probably needed a trim, but there was something about his physical body that felt different. There was something about his features that felt like they were changing. His mom had explained that his body would be going through changes as he got older, but today was the first day he actually felt a little different.

Parker decided to table that for another time as he began working on a mental spiel for his mom instead about why he should be able to get a Tumblr account. He went over the talking points in his head.

Selina has an account for her art to better her portfolio and gain a following.

I want to publish some of my writing because I like it and I’m good at it.

I’ll be responsible.

It’ll be another way to make friends.

I know we’ve talked about safety on the internet before, and I promise I’ll be safe.

The more Parker thought, the more he didn’t feel confident in his argument. The teen still wanted to try though. The worst thing that his mom could say was “no,” right?

He shimmied down the line and hurried to the kitchen before he could lose his nerve.

Parker crossed the wooden floor, taking in the heigh of the hallway and the vastness of the living room before walking into the kitchen. After spending the evening in a place designed specifically for someone of his size, looking up toward the ceiling was vertigo inducing. That weird part of him felt, for whatever reason, apprehensive as he approached his mom.

It happened from time to time, but that sensation was something he couldn’t identify.

The sweet smell of baking cinnamon bread wafted through the air and dismissed his concerns as his mom knelt instinctually and helped him up onto the counter.

“So, I was thinking that we should start working on the hot water in your space first so if there are any leaks and spills we can clean it up, dry it off, and not get any decorations and electricity wet. I know we set up the basics yesterday, but I just want to make sure it’s all good before getting everything else in place. What do you think?” asked his mom. A healthy portion of iced cinnamon roll was dished out onto his plate and handed to him.

“Sounds good to me,” replied Parker. “And thanks for making breakfast.” He inhaled the sweet scent and dared to lick a large portion directly off of the top when his mom wasn’t looking.

“You’re welcome sweetie,” Amanda said in response. “Then, if you’re feeling up to it, we hook up the chords and lights so you can be ready to show your friends your new room on your webcam by Monday for class.”

“That… sounds great,” said Parker, his mind thrumming with a slight, growing anxiety as his question continued to prickle the tip of his tongue. Parker winced as he saw his mom looking at him. He didn’t know how she did it, but anytime he had something on his mind, she knew.

“Or… we can do something different,” suggested Amanda. Parker looked up and saw his mom’s intuitive eyes looking at him quizzically.

“No! No, I want to do all of that. It’s going to be a great project,” said Parker hurriedly, his heartrate spiking momentarily. “It’s just… I wanted to ask you for something. Like… a delayed birthday gift?”

The concern in his mom’s brow dissipated into curiosity. She nodded and laid her hand down onto the counter, a signal to Parker that they were going to go sit at the table instead of eating on the kitchen counter. He stepped onto her hand, noting the small blister on her thumb from where she probably accidentally burned it while making breakfast, and let her get settled down at the table before continuing.

“Um… okay… hear me out,” said Parker as the argument he had been practicing in the bathroom and all this morning vaporized immediately.

“Okay,” said his mom with a cautiously amused smile on her face. Parker cleared his throat a few times before it clicked again in his head.

“Um… right. So, I was wondering if I could start my own Tumblr page,” said Parker. His mom’s brow furrowed in confusion, so the teen decided to elaborate. “I was talking with Selina and the others during the party yesterday and Selina said that she had one and was using it to post her art and stuff like that. She said I should put my writing up on there and… I… kind of want to.”

Parker knew this was a big ask. Generally speaking, his mom tried to emphasize that time should be spend off of the computer and not on it. His access to the internet was usually kept under mild monitorization simply because the internet had a lot of things that he wasn’t ready for.

As his mom would say, “The internet is a powerful tool that can be used for good and bad. There are some… different… people on the internet and sometimes the things they put out there are cruel or not for young eyes.”

Parker had always adhered to that and only used his internet searches for academic purposes.

This, he felt, was a good resource for him to utilize.

Amanda, on the other hand, felt herself squirm and pale, and she prayed Parker hadn’t noticed. That website was the same one way back when that she had found a lot of writing about “little people.” A lot of it seemed like fiction and fantasy if not for the fact that her son fit in with the exact categorization of these small beings who lived in walls.

Amanda thought about the conversation she had with herself just this morning about letting Parker have a little more freedom and taking his feelings into consideration. He was expressing interest in publishing and writing. Parker wanted to make more virtual friends because, for better or worse, she had restricted his contact with the outside world.

She had to ask herself the ultimate question.

Was this something that was too dangerous?

Was this something that would harm her son?

Would this thing provide too much information for his mind to handle?

Or, on the other hand, would this prompt the conversation they might need to have about how he came into her life?

Amanda didn’t trust the world with her son, but she trusted him. If he was ready to ask those questions and seek out those answers, she needed to let him to that.

Who knew? Maybe he wouldn’t encounter anything or ask those questions. Maybe this was a change for Amanda to start formulating how to best talk to Parker about why he was the way he was.

Amanda swallowed dryly and looked into Parker’s thoughtful, light brown eyes. He was obviously eagerly awaiting her reply.

“Well, Parker, I think… that you’ve shown a lot of responsibility when using the internet. Obviously, I would like to be able to see the website and look into all of the options, but… I think we could come to some kind of compromise,” decided Amanda.

Parker, absolutely filled with elation, leapt up and cheered.

“Yes! Thank you momma!” he said jubilantly. He threw himself onto her hand and hugged her with all of his might. It reminded Amanda of the little boy he still was.

Once again, she sent a silent prayer that she was doing the right thing.

She suspected she would need to have a conversation with Parker, but not now. Not right after his birthday.

“We’ll get everything set up after we set up your space, deal?”

“Deal!”

~~~^*^*^~~~

The next eight hours were a test of sheer willpower.

The hot water was a trick and a half to get set up and that went double for the electricity, specifically the switches that turned the lights on and off.

The easiest part was, in all reality, decorating. Parker chose easily cleanable floor panels and mostly space themed wallpapers. He did choose to have his bedroom in a Hobbit style theme with greens, browns, and little grass patches which Amanda dug up for him. He also picked out a few gardening beds for him to grow stuff off of his balcony and plenty of wires and charging places for his devices.

His area right off of his bedroom on the second floor was his classroom and study area, hooking up the camera and tablet for class. The first floor was the gaming and hangout area. Finally, the attic was Parker’s not-so-secret tinkering area when he wanted to create and design stuff.

All in all, things were coming together very well and, by the end of the night, Parker was exhausted; but not exhausted enough to deter him from creating his account.

With his mom’s blessing, he quickly filled in his email, birthday, and even uploaded a quick picture he took of himself.

The final thing to determine was the name of his blog, which Parker didn’t realize he needed to do.

What did he want to call his blog? His name was already taken, and he wanted to make sure it sounded genuine and professional if other people were going to see it. He didn’t want to make it something naughty and have his mom find out and revoke this privilege.

He stared at the blinking vertical line on the screen as his hands hovered over the virtual keypads.

Then, it hit him.

The name was already on the place his mom gifted to him added with a little touch into his mind.

Parker’s Place: Welcome to My Little Life

It was suiting, and Parker felt like it represented him in a way that didn’t talk too much about his condition. He was more than some fancy Latin name after all.

The screen popped up and, for a moment, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. Should he make an introductory post? One of his dreams? Did he even have to use that button at the bottom called “tags?”

He decided his first course of action was to send the Tumblr link to Selina, which he did, before electing to make a little introductory post. It was polite after all.

Nerves and excitement starting to make him feel jittery, Parker began typing.

“To my friends... Hey there! My name is Parker and I'm a little new here. I like writing, poetry, tinkering, and I stream games and stuff from time to time. I'm also a bit of a space nerd and I usually have a favorite book every month, but my all time favorite is probably The Hobbit.

“I hope you all like my stuff. I'm just putting it out there to get over my stage fright (fingers crossed).

“Anyway, nice to meet you through the screen. If you have any story suggestions I should read here or cool art I should check out, just let me know!

“Look forward to hearing from all of you out there and, hey, welcome to my little life!

So long!

Parker”

After staring at the post for nearly twenty minutes, Parker decided to pull the trigger. Taking a breath, he pressed the “Post Now” button and hoped for the best.

He didn’t have time to watch and see if anyone noticed or cared about his post. Dinner was ready and it was his turn to pick the movie.

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Continue

Previous

Beginning

[skellymom]

The BAD BATCH Mini Series HALLOWEEN Fan Fic

"The Tale of the Dathomir Witch" 

“Gather ‘round children on this charmed night. The veil between worlds is at its thinnest. I will tell you a tale of a determined old witch who set out to change the galaxy....” 

All Ages: Sadness, mentions of canon Star Wars Empire badness, crying, and some sweet revenge at the end of this tale (you will have to wait until Chapter 3)! (I did change some of Old Daka's canon lore to write this. She really doesn't have too much of a story, decided to give her some more.)

Word Count: 2K

Chapter 1

"Start a War" by Klergy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3fmyVL6CwU&list=PLTsJd3M7E5yeGJaZsh3pgYUAQdsnbgyBD&index=123

Cries of young voices rang out in her head. Old Daka was roused from deep contemplation. She was plotting the planets and stars belonging to the wheel of the standard cycle. The cries immediately silenced, leaving her heart mourning the void it left behind. Many young lives were suddenly snuffed out. She was sure of it.  

So many lives left this galaxy of late. She felt them all. Victims of war, slavery, grabs for positions of power. The Empire rearing its head above the surface and devouring anything standing in its’ way. The dark dragon that constantly eats and is never sated. 

She foresaw it’s growing power, for years. Tried to warn anyone who would listen...but no one would sit long enough to hear the rantings of an old woman. She did her research, consulting the elements, listening to tidbits of news along the grapevine, divination, interpreting dreams, reading entrails of small animals, the whispers of Force ghosts in the wind. The path all led to one source: 

Emperor Palpatine...now Darth Sidious. 

Daka spat on the ground even thinking his name. He was a curse to the galaxy. She never considered herself a rebel or freedom fighter. She was just an ancient Night Sister whose eyes were wide open to the higher vibrations of The Force. Palpatine was such a wasteful cur, leaving so many bodies in his wake. Including all her Night Sisters. Old Daka had narrowly escaped and went into hiding. The Jedi and Clones helped him do so, unaware that he would destroy them in the end.  

Oh Palpy, as she won’t to call him, thought himself a proper Sith. He was sorely mistaken. He played Sith. Clueless man.  

************************************************************************

Several days passed and word spread through the galaxy: The Jedi were dead, including the Younglings. The Jedi Temple was also destroyed. Daka was sick of the killing. She would reach out with the Force to see who she could align with. She would not rest.  

"The Witch Hammer" by Sacred Soundwave: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv4lDkOym8Y&list=RDGMEMYH9CUrFO7CfLJpaD7UR85w&index=17 

Daka sat cross-legged on the floor of her room concentrating, humming, settling in on her sitting bones. As she relaxed, felt her essence leave her body and travel around the galaxy. Tasting star dust, riding on the tail of comets, listening to foreign songs of the planets. She was searching for someone in particular.  

She reached out to Master Yoda, his presence strong somewhere in the Outer Rim. But just as she thought she could sense his location, his presence immediately vanished. 

“Bah!” She was disgusted. He was blocking her attempt to find him. No matter, she had another option. And, she found him, still alive and hiding on a dusty planet among the Outer Rim. 

“Kenobi!” she screeched.  

He jumped and spun around, facing her Force Ghost. Obi-Wan looked older, tired, broken. “Old Daka, what brings you here to my cave???” He attempted the old Kenobi swagger but fell short. Those days were behind him. 

“Darth Sidious grows stronger. I seek your assistance to bring an end to him.” 

“You don’t waste any time with formality I see. We will bring him down, Daka. Vader’s son is hidden and safe. When he grows up...” 

“Save it, Kenobi! I have no patience for waiting years while many lives are lost in Sidious’ wake. The galaxy has no time for young Skywalker to grow up. We MUST act NOW!!!” 

“Your Sith blood is much too passionate and impulsive, Old Daka. In good time...” 

“BAH! Kenobi, I can smell your fear. You hide in this cave away from your failure with Anakin, unable to confront it!!!” 

“But Anakin...” 

“Can still be saved! He can raise his children even with the pitiful condition you left him in on Mustafar. Sidious must be taken out at the knees. With his absence the galaxy will pick up the pieces. Vader will die and Anakin reborn. His children will heal his heart. His children will know their father.” 

“Daka, listen to reason!” 

“The Jedi can rise again. The Sith can come back. They will unite to become a sum greater than two factions. The galaxy will finally know balance. My Night Sisters can be restored..." 

“No Daka! I will not help you. Not now, not ever.” 

“Weak man!” She roared. “I am but an old woman that sees a better future and willing to give my life to attain it. Not hide away for years hoping for the sliver of a chance that might blow away like a fart in the wind!!!” 

Obi-Wan winced at her language. He turned his back to Old Daka, stonewalling her. 

“Goodbye Kenobi” and with that she broke the Force link between her world and his. She snapped back into her body back in her antiquated room. She was still in cross legged position, and stiff from the extended time in it. 

She was terribly disappointed in Obi-Wan Kenobi. No help whatsoever.  

Old Daka had one other option.  

With effort, she got to her feet, stretching out her stiff old legs. She walked over to the ceremonial brazier and lit a bundle of Star Sedge. Dropping it in, she wafted the smoke to her face and deeply inhaled, then held the smoke in her lungs. Daka exhaled and started chanting and dancing The Spiral pattern on the floor. She reached out with both hands to find holes in the aether. She closed her eyes and continued her steps, concentrating. Continuing in the spiral, hands signing sacred symbols, reaching out for a doorway. She kept this up for some time, heating up, sweat beading her brow. Old Daka’s joints ached with the effort. The beads of sweat ran down her face, neck, now dripping. Her voice resonates, calling out past her little existence on this planet. Dancing, spiraling, hands gesturing, a transcendent exploration. 

“What do you seek, Grandmother?” The ancient voice boomed in her ears. 

Daka opened her eyes. The Bendu stood tall, dwarfing her. 

“I request assistance in the fall of Darth Sidious. The time is close to arrival. One chance to set the galaxy free of his dark reign. I cannot do it alone. If not acted upon days from now, the opportunity will be lost in Transit.” 

“The Bendu cannot interfere directly with connecting realities of The World Between Worlds. I can, however, speak the names of those who MAY help you on your journey. There is no guarantee they will help. I give this information freely and it’s use rests solely upon your shoulders.” 

“I am eternally grateful to you Guardian of Worlds” Daka bowed down to the Bendu. Her joints popped and crackled in the process. 

************************************************************************

"The Dream Song" by Ministry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaM-j7pzWsg&list=PLTsJd3M7E5ycaENNZcno0g45BCxUk98Zv&index=32

The Havoc Marauder was dark and quiet, save for Wrecker’s snoring and the occasional stirring of Tech working on a project through the night. Everyone else had fallen asleep, except for Hunter. An overstimulation migraine kept him up. He was hoping for the strong pain meds and hot shower to finally award him some shut eye. Hunter emerged from the refresher, nodded goodnight to Tech, who nodded back and settled into his bunk.  

With a deep sigh, Hunter closed his eyes and slowly relaxed. He blissfully started to fall into a deep sleep, settling into the blankets. His cocooned body warmed up comfortably. The sounds of Wrecker and Tech faded away to a weighted silence.  

“KEEN MAN!” 

Hunter bolted upright from his covers and looked around. He was no longer on the Marauder. An inky blackness with billions of stars surrounded his bunk. A wizened old woman sat at the foot of it. She looked as though she was lit by moonlight. 

“Maker!” Hunter thought. “Switching my pain medication. This is so vivid!!!” 

The old woman cackled “I’m real. Real as moonbeams and rainbows, and the wind you cannot see.” 

Hunter looked skeptical. But he couldn’t deny the strange thrumming vibrations running through his body. 

“Hm...The Songs of the stars, planets, quasars, pulsars. The Fingerprints of the Universe. You feel them, Yes?” 

“Who are you??? A Force Ghost?” 

“The blessed few with a live body. I traversed the galaxy to speak with you. I am Old Daka.” 

“Why me?” 

“You were the only one of your brothers who would answer. I called out to Rex, Cody, Gregor, Wolffe, and those on the Marauder. Not one heard me. Omega, however, did. She and I spoke earlier.” 

“Omega? About what???” Hunter was worried that this being had unrestricted access to Omega...if what she said was true. 

“The Force is providing a narrow window of success in the defeat of Darth Sidious. A man you might know better by the name of Emperor Palpatine. The window will close and not open again for many years...until the son of Sidious’ main henchman is of age. By that time Sidious will be much stronger. The bloodshed in his wake will be more momentous. I refuse to wait and watch the waste of lives and resources. Refuse to watch the utter misery. I need your help.” 

“Asking again...why me?" 

“Because the Force chose you...and Omega. You both are

'sensitive' and understand a purpose higher than yourselves. If Echo were more man than machine, he would have heard The Call of The Force as well.” 

Hunter was aghast. This was bigger and more dangerous than trying to escape the destruction of Kamino or dodge bounty hunters. Their family could be ripped apart, or worse yet they all could die. 

“What’s in it for us?” 

“A galaxy without the fear of living. It is not enough to merely survive. Existence is meant for higher goals.” 

“Why should we trust you???” 

“Good question, Keen Man. But I wager my bargain is much better than the ones Cid springs on you. Or your brother working for the Empire offered.” 

Hunter winced at the mention of Crosshair.  

“Darthomir witch!” Hunter rumbled. 

“Yes. Not much different than a powerful Jedi, and yet you trusted them implicitly. The Jedi are gone for now. Not many allies left. Why not trust me?” 

Hunter sat in silence then replied. “What happens if we refuse to participate?” 

Old Daka brought her outstretched hand up in Hunter’s direction. She closed her eyes in concentration. “Let me show you the cost of Order 66.” Immediately vivid images filled Hunter’s head: The slaughter of the Younglings and all the Jedi, the duel between Kenobi and Anakin, the birth of Darth Vader, the death of Padme Amadala, the loss of the Republic Senate, the transfer of power to Palpatine, the final transition to Dark Sidious, the battle and death of the clones on Starship Tribunal. 

“Now...let me show you the future of The Empire.” More images: Fascist law across the galaxy, The Empire conscripting literal children into their growing army, then enslaving and killing thousands who refused to join them, The Death Star, the destruction of Alderaan...and so much more. Eventually the images faded, leaving a deep black void. 

Hunter held his head. His heart hurt mightily. 

“You have a day to think upon it and share this information with your siblings. I will physically meet you in the Marauder at Ord Mantell and discuss more details.”  

With that she faded away... 

...Hunter started awake bolting upright. Tech had lightly touched his shoulder and was standing by with a cup of caf.  

“I thought you would sleep in all morning. The medication must have been very effective.” He handed Hunter the cup. 

“It’s about time! Omega’s been going on all morning about a dream!!!” Echo groused. 

With that Omega ran into the room and jumped on Hunter’s bunk. “Did you talk to Gran-momma Daka??? She came to see me last night! We have a VERY IMPORTANT mission to go on!!!” 

“Oh KRIFF! It was all REAL!!!” Hunter groaned rubbing his face. 

“What’s real?” Wrecker was standing in the doorway. 

“Lads...and young lady...” Hunter trailed off. How to even being to explain it all??? “Have a HUGE mission ahead of us...if we choose to take it. We need to sit down and seriously discuss it today.” 

Everyone looked around at each other quizzically. 

“Just let me just have my cup of caf first.” Hunter sighed. 

Chapter 2 :

https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/731405312676003840/the-bad-batch-mini-series-halloween-fan-fic?source=share

In this next installment, the Batch has some SERIOUS decisions to make!!!

PLEASE like, comment, and/or REBLOG!

IF YOU WISH TO BE ADDED OR DROPPED FROM MY TAG LIST, PLEASE MESSAGE ME! Don't just comment as I might miss it. Thanks!!! <3

@marymunchkiin @starqueensthings @talesfrommedinastation @giganonyx @genericficerblog @random-chaotic-bitch @fionajames @wild-karrde @ex0genmultifandom @mistress-of-the-empirestress @cloneloverrrrr @gonky-kong @arcsimper5 @wings-and-beskar @freesia-writes @lucifidious @janellestudies @mandos-mind-trick-main @amorfista @purgetrooper77 @lizartgurl @echo-lover @notavalidusername @scarelitt @spacemagicandlaserswords @phantom-of-the-keurig @the-hexfiles @tink1221 @thecoffeelorian

[moonspirit]

Hi, Moon! Let's play Fanfic Writer: Director's Cut game, shall we? OKAY, the thing is, I could just smashed "give me a whole analysis on your story", but I respect your time, so let's start with VBEOW: - The bridge scenes, all of them, with Aruani and the refugess - Big shoes, small shoes (I have a hunch that, maybe, it doesn't include only Aruani, but other double A's as well...) - The Wings of Freedom seal - The choice of plants for PokoPiku lovestory - Aoife- Annie moment in chapter 8

Anna 🙃 you certainly remember more than I do of what even goes on in this fic 🙃🙃🙃 I'm also so very sorry, I... this is very long....

1. The Bridge Scenes.

So far, there have been... Two. First when we saw Armin and Annie "cross" it (because technically they didn't fully cross it) early in the morning, and then again when they go across to the refugee settlement and Armin gives that fancy speech and helps our poor fear-worn refugees cross it.

The lake in this village in Kald is inspired by Lake Brienz in Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland. Ever since I first saw it, I wanted to put AA in this setting in a fic someday. And when I started writing again, VBEOW was my setting to do that. The bridge however, was not planned. I wanted a village on this side of the lake, and some cottages on that side, simply for scenic purposes, and it wasn't until Annie went on her first solo morning walk, that the bridge happened. Same with the settlement cottages.

Eventually however, this gave me an opportunity to do several things:

1. Separate the AA and the other four physically, from the Ft.Salta refugees and the warriors' parents. This would give them the space and liberty to live their new lives on their own, together, while also being able to freely visit their parents (who belonged to their past, a terrible past). Basically, new life -------(bridge)------- old life.

2. Provide an opporutnity to "bridge" the gap between the liberio refugees, and the host of issues they come with. What issues? Two. One, their hatred toward the Eldians on Paradis (surely there are many who thought like Eren's grandpa, OG Jaeger). This one was pretty much "resolved to a great extent" in TFLM with that train pulling scene and I didn't want to go into it again. Second however, is their generational trauma. The Liberio Eldians faced a horrifying confinement brutally enforced on them by the Marleyans and like Grisha's sister was fed to the dogs for leaving the internment zone without a permit, I'm sure other families faced the same horrors. When you're terrorized like that, you don't try to leave when you're put in a box. By physically placing the refugees on the opposite side of the lake, in a set of abandoned cottages, away from the village and general populace of native Kaldians, it's like another confinement. An opportunity to get them to rise over it. But this can be done only by...

3. Developing Armin's character enough, to be able to do this. So one of the many great things Erwin did was recognizing Armin's brilliance and potential and giving him a boost despite being a green recruit. But we never got to see him gradually grow into that leadership and position of command thanks to Eren's genocidal ass, instead we have that post-timeskip shot in 139 where he looks a great deal more confident and sure about himself,.... but I believe it would've been an absolute treat to see him grow bit by bit into this state. And I wanted VBEOW to be a fic where I could make that happen. Using his empathetic and understanding approach, Armin drew a line that had to be crossed on the middle of the bridge - (we'll get to why the middle in the next point), forcing them to "want" to "cross the physical barrier" that's a 2D chalk line. Without a line, it's just a bridge they're scared of crossing. With the line, it becomes more, by stepping over it each time, they're reminding themselves that they're free now, they can cross any line and any border in the world. They're equals, and they're nothing less. The Boy who Saw Hope, gathering enough confidence to do this, cementing himself as a very different kind of world leader (one that doesn't just seek power and glory), and also, becoming more confident with himself.

4. In the context of AA alone, the bridge is... the middle. The meeting point between two worlds. A paradisian. A marleyan. Both Eldians (well, annie is half), separated by walls and told to kill the other. Despite it all, they always gravitated toward each other and now, they're at the very middle and center. Also a symbolic way of saying that they crossed the "borders" long ago when they fell in love :3 Armin sees this (and also realizes how he can use it for the refugees later on) and emotional, kisses her there. Bec he's a sap. And corny.

2. Big Shoes, Small Shoes.

While I usually look up symbolism on the internet, I didn't do this for shoes. Shoes in VBEOW represent many things - the desire to travel and go places, the crossing of great distances... and so on. Shoes are also the first things you see when you come home. In a proper "home" you're going to find them lying haphazard and messy, strewn here and there carelessly, arranged in a row together. It's a sign of people being home, family being home. It's a sign of home. And Annie and Armin, are each other's home, and they're also building a place they can call home. So when Annie shoves her shoes close to Armin's, it's her desire to build a place just for herself and him, although maybe subconsciously still, she's seeing it happen and she wants it. She likes it and she's safe and happy in a house with him where no more terrors and battles wait to be fought. It's a sign of peace and quiet she's always wanted. This plot isn't over tho, and you'll see this specific scene happen again xD

But the shoes are also for the OTHER AA in this story, namely the little kids Asa and Aoife. So, written to simply be parallels to Aruani's lives, they have grown their own lives now and I no longer can keep them as "just" mirror images of Aruani's pasts. Armin puts himself in Asa's little shoes to help him grow, to be the sort of person he wished he'd had in his own life. Annie... is also faced with this dilemma currently and we'll see what she does.

3. Wings of Freedom Seal.

So first of all, I'm weirdly attached to this symbol xD Ever since I first saw it... I wanted it xD I loved it xD I bought so MANY tshirts with it printed on them lmao. ANyways.

So remember how BIG of a deal the SC was back in S1-3? And in S4 we've got so much of shit thrown at us that the significance of the SC fades into the background, brought back in that one (or two) episode(s) where Hange gathers everyone around the fire to share her potato stew. There, we know that the Alliance opposes Eren's genocide because of what the SC always believed in. Freedom for mankind as a whole. Between's Erwin's charisma, Hange's curiosity and Armin's dreams, Armin seemed to me always the one best suited to wear the wings on his back. Simply because for him, Freedom is the beauty of life, the beauty of discovery and learning and exploration. So while we have them wearing suits and looking amazing as "Ambassadors" in 139, I kinda... wanted them to carry the Wings proudly throughout the 3 year timeskip. After all, all of them except for Pieck, were part of the 104th. Except Annie, the rest all belonged to the SC. And Annie would've joined the SC if not for her mission, I feel. In the end, they were brought together by the same ideals, the ideal held proud and high by the Wings of Freedom. Giving it to Armin as a seal was... like... giving him the power to wield it in his future efforts as a world leader.

4. Pieck, Porco and the Plants.

So there's no argument that the warriors had terrible lives. They were bred to be war weapons and had their life spans shortened to 13 years. Above all that, despite fighting Marley's dirty wars, they were still treated horribly, looked upon as devils and scum for being Eldian in the first place and well, seen as shit. In comparison, the Paradisians had better lives, they were at least equal and happier within their walls. Now. I won't get into Pokopiku here, but with that kind of life, love is... Depressing. There's no future together. There's no guarantee of a tomorrow. One of them could be severely damaged in a explosion or whatever and that'd be the end of them. Still, they made the most of their time, and tried in those little pockets of time alone, not to feel like the warriors they'd been told to be.

To be human is also to take care of things. To take care of life. Plants, are life. Plants symbolise life in their growth, in their colour, in the care needed to help them survive. Plants are harmless and if you care for them, it's kinda like taking care of your own children. Pokopiku here dreamed of this one day, where they'd live in a house covered head to toe with plants, taking care of them, taking care of life, living life for once, and enjoying it, free of worries and responsibilities. It was also their desire to be with each other, dreamed of in secret, special only because they thought of it when they were alone together. With Porco gone and her dream achieved, albeit without him, the plants in Pieck's room are Porco himself. And they'll stay, because he's part of her and always will be.

I have to mention tho, none of the plants in Pieck's room are flowering plants. None. That's important.

5. Aoife-Annie, Ch 8.

XD this one is like asking for spoilers since we haven't resolved this issue. But it won't be resolved for a long time really... Well... In a... Certain way... Okay i can't say more xD

But Aoife is Annie's younger self, brought up with bruises and pain, in different circumstances. We'll obviously go into those circumstances and why she is the way she is later on, and we'll see why she constantly says "I fall" (tho I think it's a little obvious but still), why she told Annie "nothing bad happens in Kald" the first time they met, and why she's arguably, quicker to open up to Annie than Annie possibly might've been, at the age of 10 herself. For Aoife, Annie is a bright lighthouse, a strong girl who's just told her she's been beaten like Aoife, but who remains strong and brave nevertheless. As to why Annie's the only one who she sees as a sign of hope.. we'll find out that too later on. But yeah. She latches onto that the very minute she hears it and begs her to teach her to fight. Because what could be better than to be strong like Annie? Like this girl, so fierce yet caring, who'd wrapped a bandage around her burns, paid enough attention to her to notice them in the first place, and accepted her company and gifts of sweets?

As for Annie... She's trying to live a new life, putting memories of her past behind her. Memories of being trained to fight wars she didn't care about, and memories of before that, when she was abused by her father. She finds herself in an extremely dangerous situation (for her) where agreeing to help this girl will take her back to those times and days. The ring on her finger symbolises all the death she's caused and it came from fighting in the first place... Why would she willingly go back there? She's wanted nothing but peace and quiet and a life away from fighting - now that it's in her hands, she wants to stay put. It's also the recurring fear of feeling like she'll be white washing her crimes (or trying to atleast) with this one act of kindness, because to help is to give hope, to the other person and to oneself. And Annie doesn't want to give herself any hope that she's guilt free. While she believed she cared about nothing except her dad, we know she cared a great deal about much more. She does have guilt, and she carries it heavily.

Oh god :D if you made it here... God, I'm amazed #_# Thank you so much for asking me tho!

I have no idea how I even wrote all this... Does this... Really belong to my fics... ?

[maebird-melody]

Fic Stats Game

Rules: Give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most bookmarks, fourth most comments, fifth most words, and your fic with the least amount of words.

Thank you so much @aowyn for tagging me! I’ve seen this one going around and it seems fun!

First most hits: The Last Time

After settling into his new anonymous life, Peter picks up a new coffee habit. But is it really just for the sake of routine, or is it an excuse to see his old friends? Peter resolves that today is the last time, and then he will truly cut ties with his past. After all, that's what he wanted, wasn't it?

You may not know this about me, but Spider-Man is my oldest and deepest obsession. I didn't like how No Way Home ended. I didn’t want to rewrite canon or anything, but I did want to explore how Peter (especially MCU Peter) would do a terrible job at staying away from his friends. Most likely this fic only has such a high hit count because the fandom is massive.

I wrote the first chapter of this fic as a oneshot, but it’s become a multi-chapter slow burn identity reveal fic now and I am atrocious at updating with any semblance of a reliable schedule. I’m trying to get a lot of it outlined and several chapters written before I start posting again.

Second most kudos: Glockwork

Sometimes, the answer is violence. In which Clockwork rescues Danny from the Guys in White in a more conventional manner.

Joining fandom events (especially for Danny Phantom) has resulted in several one-off crack fic ideas. This is one of them. My second-longest obsession after the Sam Raimi Spider-Man films has got to be Danny Phantom. I somehow managed to avoid phandom participation for nearly 20 years. And honestly, y’all are insane, but in a good way I think.

Glockwork isn’t even my joke. I just couldn’t think of a better pun than the meme this was based on. I am glad to have contributed any small part to fandom lore. Also, Clockwork with a gun is hilarious. The original art that inspired this fic was drawn by @ravenatural-art

Third most bookmarks: Waypoints

When an unnatural cold settles over Casper High, the trio know that something more than they can see must be going on. But their search for answers yields more than they bargained for. Ghosts are haunting Amity Park with their shattered memories. Only by reliving those memories can they free the mortal realm from ghostly influence, restore the broken cores, and ultimately, help the ghosts pass on. Yet there is a sinister force at work behind the scenes. Someone…or something…caused this. Who is pulling the strings? Why? And how do they make sure none of this happens again?

Another Danny Phantom fic! This is the piece I’m writing for Invisovang (yes, writing, as in present tense—I didn’t finish by the deadline it’s fine). My longest fic by far, it’s amazing what actually planning out your story will do for you.

Probably has so many bookmarks since I'm still actively updating it, and many people prefer to read completed longfics. Also, there are just so many Danny Phantom fics out there. If you want a fic that doesn't involve dissection, maybe this one's for you.

Fourth most comments: Geduldh’s Fate

In which Heisshitze learns of the consequences of his meddling in Ferdinand's affairs. SPOILERS FOR PART 4 VOLUME 8 It is the first Interduchy Tournament since Ferdinand left for Ahrensbach, and Heisshitze is feeling very pleased with himself for having orchestrated Lord Ferdinand's freedom from Ehrenfest. But as he is about to learn, no good deed goes unpunished.

My current obsession, Ascendance of a Bookworm! It’s a slice of life turned high fantasy political thriller light novel series. I highly recommend it. Let’s just say, I was unhappy with the turn of events in Part 4 Volume 8, so I wrote something to deal with that. Ironically, a lot of what I’d written and wanted to happen actually came to pass, if not in exactly the same way. This was also written at the turning point where I stopped waiting for the paperbacks and ended up reading all the way up through pre-pub. I haven't quite gone so far as to read to web novel.

Fifth most words: The Long and Winding Road

While traveling the West Road, Alistair becomes the unwitting guard of a merchant caravan. When he leaves camp later that evening to gather firewood, he meets a strange, enigmatic elf who is lost in the forest. They spend a brief time together before their paths diverge once again.

This was written for a Dragon Age event! It was a fic exchange in which people requested either romantic or platonic pairings with Solas. I picked the Solas & Alistair platonic pairing. I have them sharing a camp together for the night. It’s a very moody, contemplative piece, I like it.

Least words: Uthenera: Fen’Harel Ver Na

"I lay in dark and dreaming sleep while countless wars and ages past." This song blends the Lost Elf Theme and the Thedas Love Theme, and also introduces a new theme of my own devising which can be heard in the opening bars of the piece. This is a programmatic piece, which means that each part of the song represents an unfolding story. For program notes, see the end of this page.

Feels like cheating though cause it’s not words at all. It’s music. Dragon Age inspired music (though I did lift part of a theme whole cloth for this piece, it was too pretty to deconstruct).

Fic with the fewest words that is actually a fic would be A Terrible Bedside Manner.

By the power of fan fiction, the laws of time and space have been broken to bring us this little nugget: what if Richard Maxwell was working for Regis when he first came to Odyssey? This tiny bit of chaos was incredibly fun to write. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

It’s Adventures in Odyssey crack fic based on the two most compelling characters in the series, who also happen to be the villains (in a series that Did Not Need Any Villains).

I feel like most of y'all have already played by now. Well, if you've already done it, please feel free to ignore the tag! Or instead, share a fic of yours that you think is underrated and doesn't get the attention it deserves. :)

Tagging @imakemywings @seaglass-skies @the-oaken-muse @bibliophilea @sailorpunksenshi @theelibugs

[heleentje]

💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

(Sending on = optional.)

Oooh, it’s going to be really predictable if I talk about Moonlight, but I’m still going to talk about Moonlight. I cannot properly put into words how happy I am with the way it turned out (but let’s try anyway).

(Cut for spoilers and, in true Moonlight fashion, also length)

I’ve told this story here and there, but Moonlight originally came from three things: my refusal to accept the Champions’ deaths, my general melancholy upon defeating Ganon and leaving behind the freedom of botw’s Hyrule, and my amusement when the game resets to your last save upon beating the story.

That last part got me thinking about how terrifying it would be for Link to wake up after beating the Calamity and finding himself having to face it again. Originally Moonlight was just a few drabbles in my notebook (the scene in chapter 5 where Link seeks out Revali was actually a later reworking of one of the very first scenes I wrote for it). The story was on the backburner for several months, but all of a sudden I decided I wanted to write it anyway.

The idea that Zelda was also caught in the loops was an early one, but it was not part of the original outline. That little tidbit only came about when I’d already picked the title for the story, and so the whole song the title came from (Shalott, by Emilie Autumn) suddenly became weirdly prophetic (the full line that the title is part of is And there’s moonlight every single night/ as I’m locked in these towers).

Speaking of titles, the chapter titles are almost all from Vienna Teng songs, and picking them out was often a lot of fun! Thematically, I’d say the most important songs were Level Up and Enough To Go By. Enough To Go By provided the title for chapters 8 (If my love could keep you alive), 11 (praying you aren’t out of range), and also Ginneke’s This flooded sky, three parts of the overall story that are deeply connected when it comes to emotional beats. Chapter 11 is the logical consequence of the events that transpired in chapter 8, and this flooded sky of course takes place during chapter 11.

(If my love could keep you alive is also my proudest title achievement. It applies to just about every character in that chapter.)

Level Up, in turn, lent its lyrics to the final chapter (Day number one in the rest of forever, because it could never be anything else), but also chapter 5 (Dynamite the dam on the flow). Going back earlier, it was also the title inspiration for another fic of mine, Your own heart that matters. YOHTM was a large part of the foundation of that chapter, so it seemed only fitting.

It’s no secret that Moonlight got extremely out of hand, I’ve joked about it often enough. My original idea for the story truly was only 30k (final word count: > 170k). When my first chapter came in at 7k, I was still foolishly hopeful. The first chapter needed to do a lot of setup! Surely the next chapters would be shorter!

I think I was disabused of that notion partway through chapter 2.

But for all that it got out of hand, I am still very happy that it did. The intended cast was originally a lot smaller: Link and Zelda, with Revali having a marginally bigger role than the other Champions, and everyone who wasn’t one of those six only appearing towards the final chapter.

Fortunately for me and for the story, the characters did not agree with that.

And I am extremely happy that I got to give not only Link and Zelda, but also the Champions and even the successor Champions something like a distinct character arc. The most difficult characters in that regard were probably Daruk, Urbosa and Teba, because they generally have their shit together, so it’s not like they need any deep character conflict or development. But we adopted the adage of ‘stable, not static’ for them. They don’t need to change who they are as people, but that doesn’t mean they can’t have their own worries and concerns, and make decisions based on that.

(I think, in the end, Harth got a little more of an arc than Teba, especially since we set him up as an intentional mirror for Revali.)

Speaking of Daruk, there was a time where Ginneke and I feared that he’d be sidelined compared to the other Champions. And then chapter 8 happened and suddenly he became a big part of the story :D

So let me talk about Ginneke. (And yes love, I know you were the one to send me the ask, but let me gush about you anyway <3)

Moonlight wouldn’t be half of what it is today without her. We refined that very first outline through hours and hours of conversation and bouncing ideas off each other. She is almost single-handedly responsible for the role Purah ended up playing in this story, as well as Link being explicitly genderqueer and Yunobo’s entire plotline.

The latter two both found their origin in Carry Them Inside You, the first of the sidefics, so let me gush about those for a moment! They’re all explicitly canon to Moonlight, and while we tried to stay fairly light on the references in Moonlight proper, you will absolutely get the best reading experience if you read the sidefics alongside the main story!

Because Moonlight only has Link and Zelda as POV characters, the sidefics were our best way to show what went on when they weren’t around (or, in Carry Them Inside You’s case, what Link was doing that he didn’t want Zelda to know about). An attentive reader may have even caught a few reveals before they were shown in Moonlight proper: the Champions still being alive was all but stated in there’s no turning away, and a soft yellow moon gave more context to Mipha’s actions in chapter 9. Some of our biggest Revali knives were shown in This flooded sky before they made it into the main story (and one never made it into the main story at all, because Revali isn't talking).

(If you know Enough to go by, then the title of This flooded sky also carries a hint towards Revali’s final plan: I’m wanting your anger/ I only want to see if I can shake you out of sleep/ And bring you out under this flooded sky/ At any price)

And of course, Ginneke’s writing is absolutely spectacular in all of them!

Going forward, the POV will probably not remain limited to Link and Zelda alone. There’s a lot going on in Hyrule, and they definitely don’t know all of it.

I am extremely happy with how both of their stories came out. For Link in particular, I think I succeeded in creating the same sense of isolation that’s characteristic of early botw, before you really set out into the world. We debated heavily whether we wanted the first four loops to be so repetitive, but I’m glad we did in the end, because it really worsened Link’s state of mind and set up the events of loop 5 and onwards.

And by that same token, I’m glad that the world expanded after that, first with Revali and then the other Champions, and then the rest of Hyrule as well. Despite the somber tone of it, chapter 11 was one of my favorite chapters to write, because I finally got to put the rest of Hyrule front and center.

(And also because it’s where any chance of Zelda and Revali ever having a cordial relationship gets killed deader than the leviathans. Zelda and Revali each consider themselves responsible for Link’s death, and they are projecting that guilt onto each other.)

Zelda and Link’s relationship was another favorite part of mine. Sometimes I reread the earlier chapters and I’m struck by how distant they were, compared to their closeness in the final chapters. They really didn’t know how to act around each other, especially since Link had lost most of his memories and their relationship was always a bit fraught to begin with. But I’m glad they evolved past that.

And I’m firmly of the opinion that Link would always chafe at being confined to a formalized court environment again. He feared that possibility from the very start (and it was part of the reason why he put off fighting Ganon for so long), so it was very liberating when he finally got to say outright ‘no, I don’t want that’, and still find a way to support Zelda, if only from a distance.

And Revali, oh Revali… In early chapters, we often joked about Revali and Purah fighting for the tritagonist position. And while Purah eventually got the title when it came to plot developments, Revali definitely earned it for character developments.

He’s a mess of contradictions. He doesn’t want to move on, but he’s ready to sacrifice his life so that Link doesn’t lose his. He longs to be a part of Rito Village again, but he’s convinced that the Rito will either disdain him for failing to take down the Calamity or only see him for his title. He feels so much guilt about failing to save Link that he takes all of it out on Zelda. It should come as no surprise that his scenes were among my absolute favorites to write, even if they were often very difficult to get right and needed multiple rewrites to hit on the correct tone.

Mipha probably got the second-biggest role out of all the Champions. When she regained her Grace in chapter 8, we realized she would remember that loop according to the rules we’d established. And that made her a perfect person to both serve as a voice of reason to stop Zelda and Revali before things really got too bad, and also call out Link on some of his shit later on.

Daruk quickly became one of my favorite characters to write (best Champion). He was unceasingly supportive, even when Link didn’t particularly want to hear that, but Yunobo being so intimidated by him was always something that weighed on him, and he tried very hard to present himself as unthreathening. Perhaps he even went a little overboard there, but he genuinely is extremely proud of Yunobo and would have been no matter what Yunobo chose to do.

In the end, it was Urbosa who probably had the least involved plotline of all the Champions, but having her around was still a massive boon for Zelda, and eventually Riju. One of the things we really wanted to make clear was that Urbosa was not here to take the title of Chief back from Riju. If Riju asked her to, she might have accepted, but it needed to be very clear that she did not outrank Riju, nor did she want to. (And if Urbosa sees a lot of Zelda in Riju, well, obviously.)

I’d also be remiss in not mentioning some of the other characters: Purah, our plot tritagonist, who was instrumental in figuring out exactly what was going on and providing Link and Zelda with some much needed help in those first few loops. Riju, who among all the time shenanigans is one of the few people concerned with the political implications of a Hyrule without the Calamity, who is such a perfect mirror of Zelda: forced to bear a burden that by all rights should have been her mother. Sidon, so concerned for Link, so eager to fight by his side that he’s the one who finally hands Zelda the solution to their problem, so willing to defy his father (and Dorephan, still mourning the child he already lost and terrified that he’ll lose yet another one). And Yunobo, always casting himself in the shadow of his famed grandparent, but so much braver and smarter than he gives himself credit for, who probably did more to turn the tide in the final battle than any other character.

(Also Teba, who is in a constant state of ‘what are all these fucking children doing here?’)

Okay, so I’ve spent almost 2000 words talking about Moonlight already, and I can probably get in another 1000 if I really wanted to. But suffice to say, I’m extremely happy with how that story came out. It’s probably the best thing I’ve written to date, and I think I pulled off just about everything I set out to do.

Of course, absolutely none of that would have been possible without Ginneke, who helped refine this vague idea of a story into something actually worth reading. It was an absolutely wild ride, and while writer’s block hit me hard at several points, I’m really glad we got to the end of it.

There’s more to this universe, though it will probably involve a lot less time shenanigans! I think I’m quite solidly done with those for a little while.

[faux-ee]

I posted 3,543 times in 2022

That's 2,736 more posts than 2021!

737 posts created (21%)

2,806 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kyouka-supremacy

@colourofthekites

@grishaverse-chaos

@chenechen

@akhlys-san

I tagged 1,669 of my posts in 2022

#fyolai - 51 posts

#dabihawks - 50 posts

#bsd - 33 posts

#bungo stray dogs - 19 posts

#personal - 18 posts

#spotify - 17 posts

#asks &lt;3 - 16 posts

#bkdk - 14 posts

#soukoku - 13 posts

#sskk - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it was so unfeeling and repetitive and like. sir. i can’t relate to ur experiences and u aren’t doing a very good job making me care abt it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

bungo stray dogs is a piece of media thats so filled with tumblr energy. Its like a collective mass hallucination of famous author fanfiction with just the right amount of derangedness, mental illness, generational trauma and existential crisis. Each and every character gives major gender envy. Everything is enemies to lovers to enemies to freinds to lovers to enemies. Everything the characters do is high-key illegal and everyone agrees that old guys in the government r useless except for this one triple spy who's sleep deprived to a fault. There is a guy who is chronically online and absolutely cannot leave his futon. There's another guy who could write novels in days and is more attached to a racoon than the rest of the world. bram stoker listens to spotify. bsd is the true tumblr-esque media.

Edit: and as it often appears bsd characters become each other's blorbos. They wanna hug each other they wanna see them going through the undying pain of human existence they spin them around in a mental microwave or smth

Edit edit: also tumblrinas love literary analysis and bsd is full of literary motifs

420 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

ranpoe actually foils fyolai bcs when poe had his mind set on killing ranpo he had a moment of realization that he wouldn't know how to live in a world w/o him, and several chapters after he became besties w/ ranpo, but nikolai already knows that fyodor is his intimate friend, there will never be another person like fyodor for him, yet still decided to kill him, bcs he "wants freedom more than any kind of joy"

434 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

#3

Kacchan is the only thing Izuku allows himself to have

and it's why Izuku’s always vague when it came to the intensity of his feelings about Kacchan & why Katsuki at first instinctively pushed Izuku away. 

idk if anyone has done this before, but anyways here's my fav aspect abt BakuDeku's relationship: Izuku's possessiveness over Kacchan and Kacchan only.

So I've been thinking abt Kamino a lot, and specifically two scenes: a) Izuku shouting "Give him back to me!" to Mr. Compress, and b) Izuku's devastated scream after Bakugo was taken away.

Izuku is an extremely selfless person, with only the heart for "saving people". That was part of the reason why he was almost immune to Katsuki's bad attitude towards him: dude doesn't think about himself a whole lot, alright. He's just kind of out of it. An observer. He wants to focus on his own feelings much less than he cares about others.

When have you seen Izuku do something for himself? Sure, he wanted to become a hero, he wrote 13 notebooks' worth of hero analyses. But this may as well only be an exertion of his obsession abt quirks & strategies, because despite all the talk about his dream, he never actually thought to exercise and improve his body strength before he got the OFA.

Here's an idea: Izuku doesn't know how to do things for himself, unless given a larger purpose. He takes little care of his own ambition before taking the world's weight onto his shoulders.

And he is subconsciously avoiding any selfish thinking, especially any private feelings he has about Kacchan, platonic or otherwise. 

He doesn't know what has triggered the blackwhip; can't remember what Kacchan told him before almost sacrificing himself to save him; doesn't remember whatever made him go berserk in battle. He acted like none of this emotional turmoil he experienced happened at all and went back to being this people-saving, smiling sunshine every. single. time. Even after Kamino, his first thought was Kouta, except that after Todoroki mentioned Katsuki, the light returned to his eyes and he finally broke down. 

Izuku actively avoids thinking about anything that causes strong emotions to erupt in him, yes, but more importantly, even when he is recounting these experiences to others, he omits whatever part that concerns Kacchan (i.e. when he told his classmates “I couldn’t save what was in front of me” - right, but Izuku, why are you describing Kacchan as if he is just anyone else instead of the person you have looked up to for all your life?)

He doesn’t allow himself to be selfish, to be partial, to treat Kacchan as somone special even when that’s what he does (notice how he’s always going like “Kacchan and the others”). 

Let’s look at what he said to Mr. Compress again: “Give him back to me!”

Didn’t he almost sound like a child who was robbed of his favorite toy? 

Why would he feel such possessiveness over Kacchan, though? 

Kacchan is Izuku’s Symbol of Victory, right? Izuku follows him, admires him, idolizes him (”closer to me than All Might, this amazing person in my life”). Here it is: Kacchan has been somewhat of an idol to Izuku, the incarnation of victory. 

Kacchan was part of Izuku’s definition of heroism; and heroism, to Izuku, is almost like a religious belief. He draws strength from it, uses it to cope with the pain of being quirkless, and admires All Might as one might do any deity. 

I’m going to go a little further here: when one prays to whatever deity one believes in, one is often praying to this concept inside one’s head, and taking what one needs from this private connection. Similarly, Izuku feels possessive over Kacchan because the latter to him is something of a god-like character, from the attachment to whom Izuku draws his desire to win. To Izuku, Kacchan is not just the Symbol of Victory. It’s his Symbol of Victory. 

Katsuki is his. His sun, his god, his drive to win. 

Izuku, who is so selfless that he rarely wants things for himself, doesn’t want to acknowledge that he can, in fact, be a little selfish when it comes to Kacchan. 

Meanwhile, as Mr. Compress had stated, Bakugo doesn't belong to anybody. And with such a big ego Bakugo would hate to be anything but independent. Something about Izuku made him want to keep his childhood friend at arm's length; he felt as if Izuku was stronger than him, looking down on him - and where does he get this feeling? Because Izuku offered to help him once at four? Stood up to him a couple of times?

There is another dimension to it, I think: it was also because Izuku had always followed him. And Katsuki, being the kind to always over-think, could mistake Izuku's possessiveness for Izuku seeing himself above him.

If an independent person ever finds himself on the receiving end of such possessiveness, he would feel chained, scared, and pissed off. Don't come, Deku, I don't want anything to do with you because the way you stick with me as if I belong to you, it almost chains me down. 

Thanks for bearing with my shipping brainrot xD

445 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#2

B-B-Boyfriend? Like a guy who your body moved on its own for when he was in danger? Who you've grown up with? Activated a whole new quirk for?

550 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

being invested in bsd is such a unique experience bcs u watch the anime and think oh theres mafia and detectives and terrorists this shit's so hardcore and then u open bsd wan and they r kindergarteners and magical girls and princesses and ur just like. look at my cute little uwus <3 and then u read the manga and was hit with like three different schools of philosophical thoughts and suddenly become interested in classical novels with rlly deep themes and start to develop an existential crisis. its like yeah i watched an anime abt super powers and it all went downhill from there lol

993 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[deiliamedlini]

WIP Wednesday- Dance With Me Scene

This is the last Wednesday that I have to be working through, then next Wednesday, my vacation starts and I can FINALLY go back to writing fics without feeling overwhelming guilt! You have NO IDEA how much I just want to tap about WIPS today. I want to post everything! Give me WIP Thursday too lol!

I do have SOME of the beginning of Dance With Me done. It’s been a hot minute, hasn’t it?? I haven’t had the chance to go back and reread, so there may be some continuity errors right now, but here’s the beginning of the next chapter so far! 

Fun fact: I hope you got your fill of fluff. If you know me, you knew that something had to give soon! But until then, here’s another fluffy scene so you are left in suspense not knowing what angst is to come! 😁

~

Well, her conclusion, based on evidence and research, was that she was drunk. She had to be. Drunk on what, well, that was a different question.  

She woke up warm and beyond comfortable. At the same time, her back was a bit stiff, but she had no desire to move. Especially when she realized she had Link’s arm draped across her waist and his face directly in front of hers.

Holding her breath didn’t help slow her racing heart. Goddess, he looked so peaceful. It was so unlike the Link she was used to, always alert, always anxious, always ready. She wanted so badly to lean forward a bit and to press her lips to his, to see him wake contented with her beside him, longing for her as much as she found herself longing for him.

His eyes fluttered open, locked on hers, and a lazy smile spread across his mouth. He hummed tiredly, ignoring the sun that was still overhead, and found his eyes closing again.

Zelda took advantage, scooting closer to him, but lower, so she was pressed directly against him, and waited for his arm to push her away. Instead, he slid it under her head so she could rest in the crook of his elbow, and his head lolled back down.

Goddess, the freedom had to be what was making her drunk. The constant vigilance of the castle had her constantly on edge, and there was something about Link’s dropped guard that set her entirely at ease. She closed her eyes, listening to his steady heart under her ear, drifting off like it were a white noise that she needed to sleep.

She woke up again when it was dusk, evening light starting to set in. Link jerked awake, as if startled by a dream and suddenly alert, and it had Zelda following suit. From the clenched fist on the back of her shirt, she figured it was one that he hadn’t quite awoken from yet.

He blinked several times before looking Zelda over, inspecting her for injuries. But she just watched him patiently.

“Sorry,” he finally muttered. And then he looked down and his entire face burned red.

They were covered by a blanket.

Zelda chuckled. “Your mom?”

“I hope so,” he breathed, toying with the hem. “Otherwise, we’ll have to explain a few things.”

Zelda made a rueful noise and pushed herself up, rubbing at her eyes. “Did we spend all day here?”

Link joined her, nodding. “Looks it.”

“I’m sorry,” Zelda said, turning to Link. His eyes were lit by the remnant light of the setting sun. “You lost a whole day home because of me.”

Bringing himself to his feet, he balled the blanket up in front of him and pulled Zelda up beside him. “You didn’t. Do you know how long it’s been since I could relax like that?”

“Awhile, I imagine?”

“Yes.”

He led Zelda back up the hill to his house and tentatively pushed the door open, checking to see if anyone was home. Blessedly, the room was empty.

For less than a few seconds.

Raina came around the corner to check on the door, and she smiled at them, looking away.

Yep. She’d been the one who found them.

[marengogo]

7 Nation Army - Part 1: Welcome On Board of The Singularity, I’m Your Captain; Kim Taehyung

Let Go - by Frou Frou  [DETAILS]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Remember RM’s words? “I’ve said this several times, but the seven of us are on a boat, looking in different directions but going the same way. That’s how I describe BTS” most likely at the time, they weren’t always too clear of the destination, in fact as they grew bigger in popularity and goals the destination might have become more and more obscure. If we keep using maritime analogies, we can summarise BTS’ first chapter as having been a boat of passionate sailors, who developed into extraordinary captains, all at the same time. However, as we all know, a boat can only have one captain.

So began chapter 2, the beautiful ship from chapter 1 was left safely ashore, where it will be taken care of by ARMY. In this second chapter, each captain has its own ship or boat or even raft. To each their own. But differently from chapter 1, there is one big detail which, this time around, is as clear as day being their destination: Chapter 3 - Together Again. Now how they are going to get to this destination, as we can already tell, is going to be hella different for each one of them, J-Hope, or Captain Jack, for example, is sailing on a very majestic ship, but I’ll get to J-Hope another time. This post is about V and his “yacht”, which I’d like to call The Singularity. Thus far, the voyage of The Singularity has been the one that has piqued my interest the most.

Kim Taehyung is taking taking his time to test himself. Out of all the members thus far he is the one that almost felt like he was keeping himself so tightly he was about to explode. There is this sense of new found freedom? He is well aware that whatever he does from this point on forth is 100% on him, and I’d like to believe that part of him couldn’t wait to not have any of his action reflect on the other members of BTS. That is a different type of guilt, nobody would want that. He is really out there ready to make mistakes, cheat his way out of them RUN-BTS-STYLE but also just accepting final results. 

Kim Taehyung is breathing. Through is very picturesque instagram, his golf training, his hanging out with friends, his never ending support of his members. He is approaching it all in his own way. Rumours are spreading, some “fans” are creating messes (as per usual) and judgments are being cast, basically there’s a whole lot of bad winds coming his way, but he seems to be fairly unbothered and if, as it seems, he is able to withstand all of that, I’m all about it!

Kim Taehyung is living. Dancing away the night. Eating to his heart’s content. Expressing himself. The Expressing himself part is the one that made me write this post. Now we know Tae to be among one of the members who like physical contact as a means of communication. Tae is now taking physical contact to higher levels, he is daring with his body, it’s as if his body has also reached It’s own level of freedom. And I am loving that for him!

Kim Taehyung is sailing. The boys is still working, through it all, as Jimin has told us he might take forever to give us an album, but it is going to be great. Premiere, catwalks, brand launches. He is still sailing towards that new destination.

Not gonna lie, I’m enjoying my ride on board of The Singularity (as a bonus it turns out that I have a lot in common with the captain when it comes to music!). I think Tae has had his emotional down spiral period already after 2018. Somehow (probably with the help of family, friends, members and himself) he got out of it, so where I believe these might be stormy waters at the beginning for some members, it might be smooth sailing for this captain.

So I wish him smooth sailing, and like with all the other members, I’ll take my time to jump on board support him when needed. Fighting Kim Taehyung! (Time to jump back on board of JITB Hobi, that’s how I called J-hopes ship). 

Writing from aboard The Singularity  ✌️,

Marengo.

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 139 Review Part I: On Eren Jeager and Genocide

Why?

Why is this happening?

Folks, I’m going to be honest here: there are no words for this. The main thrust of this chapter is completely inexplicable. It’s stupid. It’s ill conceived. FML.

Just…just the term itself is laughable.

Eren redemption arc.

Sksksksksksksksksksksk

After everything he’s done, everyone he’s killed, you’re going to try redeeming Eren in the final chapter?

Eren didn’t need to be redeemed. He was a bullheaded kid who didn’t let anyone stop him from doing what he thought needed to be done. He sees the titans outside the walls as enemies to be exterminated. When he learns that his real enemies are other humans, who have a right to freedom as much as he does, he can’t accept it and decides to just exterminate them too. That mindset led him down a tragic path of genocide.

That’s not a bad character arc!

In fact, I’d say it’s very compelling. Nonconformity and obstinance are often presented as virtues; flipping that paradigm on its head and showing the vices of those virtues was legitimately smart and provocative.

Making people rethink what traits are virtues and vices is a great moral to the story, and it paired well with the other moral of cooperation and loving your fellow people.

Then this chapter came out, and they threw all that away.

Eren’s arc once made me think of Aristotle, who argued that true virtue lied between extremes: neither too submissive nor too rebellious.

Now Eren’s arc makes me think of pseudointellectual 4chan philosophy, and dumb teenagers: “He’s not a bad guy, he’s just human!!!”

Eren’s motivations are a mess now. He had no free will, but he also had a plan, but deep down he wanted to do the rumbling no matter what, but actually he really wanted to be with Mikasa.

Oh, and B T dubs, he killed his mom too.

You can tell Isayama is desperate to make Eren as sympathetic as possible to justify making him the anti-hero because he’s throwing everything he can pull out of his ass at Eren.

Really, though, all he ended up doing was smearing shit on the character.

Eren’s plan was to kill a significant part of the human population so the world wouldn’t be as overwhelming a threat as before. Simultaneously, he planned (“planned”) for the alliance to become vaunted heroes to the world when they killed him, thus paving the way to peace.

This…makes no sense?

There is no reason Eren should have believed this would work. During the battle of Trost, Pixis asked him if humanity could unite if threatened by a common enemy. Eren said no.

Eren is a pessimist about people. He sees how much the walldians fought with each other and concluded that people would always be at odds.

And the Tybur family helped defeat the Eldian Empire, but only the Tyburs were seen as heroes by the Marleyans. That good will was not imputed from the Tyburs to the other Eldians on the continent. There’s no reason to think that would happen here when it didn’t back then.

I’m assuming, anyway, that the alliance becoming heroes is supposed to lead to a world where Paradis is safe since that’s supposed to be Eren’s goal.

I’m willing to grant that maybe this part of Eren’s plan was more of a hope on his part. Peace would come only after his death, so he can’t truly “plan” for anything afterwards.

I think it’s safe to say that killing the world’s population was the main part of his plan, since that’s the part he had the most control over.

To the extent he had any control over his actions, which brings me to the next point.

So, turns out Eren had no free will.

Can you not feel Isayama’s desperation?

After all the awful things Eren’s done, Isayama’s brilliant idea to make him sympathetic is to strip him of all agency.

This is done by two routes throughout the chapter.

The first is by building him up as a victim. Eren’s mind is fucked; he can’t really control himself. Any decent person would feel pity for him, which is reinforced by the sorrow Armin visibly feels for him.

Then, like a shotgun blast to the face, we are told that Eren killed his mother in a moment that is clearly supposed to endear us to him.

This is such a transparent appeal for our sympathy. Isayama’s desperation leaps off the page and mugs us of it.

The only thing that this revelation adds to the story is that it gives Armin a reason to take up Eren’s hand, and show him support. You can see Armin’s heart breaking for Eren in that moment.

That’s mostly why this is here: to give the mass murderer a hard luck story so our hearts melt for him.

The second route is that depriving Eren of agency absolves him of blame for what he did.

Eren beat Armin bloody, but you can’t really blame him for it. He was drugged out on the Founding Titan and didn’t want to do it. He was acting on impulse, just going with the flow, so he deserves, at the very least, some leniency.

Eren both having a plan and not having much in the way of free will is contradictory. Everyone still talks about Eren as if he’s someone who is doing stuff even though we’re told he’s not really capable of rational decision making.

I’m going to be nice and assume Isayama’s intent is that when you parse this all out, you end up in a place where Eren is not truly responsible for what he did, and in any event this all ended with the titan curse broken and the world at peace, sooooo break out the champagne everyone, we achieved world peace!

…

Yeah, bub, I’m not partying right now.

Isayama’s ploy to absolve Eren of blame didn’t work. Eren is still responsible for the people he killed and his Founding Titan lobotomy counts for shit. Turns out it helps to know how free will works when you’re writing about free will.

Free will is the quality of being in control of your actions, at least to the extent necessary to be held responsible for them.

Eren was just going with the flow (wonder what Annie thought of that…), acting on impulse, and getting dragged along by fate, but that’s not actually important.

It’s been known for centuries that current events are caused by previous events and that the current events will bring about future events in a never ending chain of cause and effect. One domino causes another to fall causes another to fall and on and on. This is called determinism.

And that’s ok because we free will exists. It exists even if we can’t do anything other than what we are going to do. It exists in spite of, or even arises out of, determinism.

This premise, that free will and determinism are not mutually exclusive, is the foundation for a family of theories about free will called compatibilism.

Compatibilist free will is the most popular theory of free will. There are a couple of variations on the basic idea, but the gist is that free will exists when your actions can be linked to an aspect of yourself that you identify with.

For example, if you had no choice but to do something, but you’re ok with that because it’s what you wanted anyway, then you have free will.

Even if I didn’t know you’d stop me in the end, I think I still would have flattened this world. 

-Eren Jeager

That’s all I needed to hear.

EREN, FUCK YOU!!!!

Eren had free will, at least as much as necessary to blame him for his genocide.

Isayama threw this curveball at us and all it did was ruin Eren as a character while leaving him just as repugnant as before. Incredible. It’s the worst of both worlds.

Before this chapter Eren was a guy who believed in something and followed that belief no matter who got in his way. That was great! It was tragic and sad, but great storytelling.

Where does this chapter leave us?

What we learn in this chapter is that Eren didn’t really believe in anything. He may have free will enough to be a shithead for what he did, but that doesn’t mean he has free will enough to be an interesting character.

Eren coming to grips with him not being free, in an absolute sense, would have been so much more interesting than what we got. Eren started the series comparing humanity to cattle in a pen. He ends the series being literally sheparded by fate to his death like cattle to a slaughterhouse.

And yet we get no exploration of that at all.

It’s lame. Everything about this is lame. From a storytelling perspective, Eren was just along for the ride. Who would want to reread this series now? A story about a boy who’s quest for freedom neither ends tragically nor happily, but is just forgotten about by the end. What’s the point?

There is none.

Eren’s journey ends up lost in the author’s own ignorance of the very thing this is supposed to be about.

Unfortunately, SNK isn’t interested in 80% of the world being dead. If it were, Eren wouldn’t have gotten such a warm send off.

I was honestly shocked when I read this chapter.

I thought it had been made clear. SNK had come firmly down against genocide. I never imagined Isayama would try a 180 in the final chapter.

And, well, he did, and here we are.

SNK is pro-genocide.

To wit:

Once Eren’s abominable plan is explained to everyone, he is lavished with love and comfort by his friends.

Armin did punch Eren for being callous about Mikasa, but overall all Armin had nothing but sympathy and understanding for Eren. They held hands and hugged and gave Eren a tender farewell.

All they talk about is how great a sacrifice Eren is making.

Not the sacrifice of 80% of all people, but the sacrifice that Eren personally is making of himself.

I don’t know what deranged mindset Isayama has that made him think this was sensible, but no, Eren is not sacrificing anything. He was always going to die. We’ve known this for several dozen chapters. It’s not a sacrifice to befall the fate you were always going to suffer.

He lost nothing. If anything, he gained from this ending.

Eren died knowing he was loved and appreciated by his friends. What more could a dying man ask for?

Eren is rewarded by the story for killing 80% of humanity.

His ultimate fate was no worse than was expected even before he committed the genocide, and he went out in the knowledge that his friends loved him for it.

It doesn’t even make logical sense that his friends would be so receptive to what he did.

There is no difference between Eren’s plan and what we thought Eren’s plan was before this chapter came out.

Armin thought Eren’s plan was to murder humanity to ensure his safety, and Armin was appalled. Armin was willing to sacrifice his life to ensure Eren failed. He was truly acting for the greater good of humanity.

In this chapter, Armin learns that Eren’s plan is actually to murder most of humanity to ensure his safety, and Armin loves him.

Again, hand holding, hugging, “thank you.” No mention of the unfathomable harm caused. The 80% killed are not even a footnote in this chapter.

Even after the fact, Eren’s friends showed no qualms with Eren essentially winning and procuring their safety through genocide.

When previously the mere thought of that was what motivated them to lay down their lives to stop him.

I don’t think Isayama believes this genocide is supposed to bear on how we think of Eren. I say, having just read the chapter that’s all about Eren, in which his genocide doesn’t bear on how his friends think of him. At all.

Was that too great a leap in logic? I apologize if my rationality offends you.

Eren may have died, but he won in the end.

His friends are safe and the world looks set to conclude a peace treaty with Paradis.

I don’t buy for a second that the world is a threat to Paradis anymore, and I don’t buy for a second that there won’t be a peace shortly after the end of the story.

It’s very telling, to me, that it’s the world that’s come to grovel at Paradis’ feet, begging for peace, when previously it was the other way around.

The contours of this “peace,” if you can call it that, were made pretty clear in the epilogue. The world is in ruins while Paradis is stronger than ever, so the world sues for peace for fear of Paradis attacking further. 

This is the moral of the story. Frankly, it’s been staring at us in the face the whole time.

How do you end the cycle of violence?

The answer is to win. To be stronger. More determined.

The only peace is enforced peace through domination.

Peace through the barrel of a gun.

To be continued in part II (and possibly part III)

[aot-snk-4238]

My thoughts on AOT No Requiem (Fanmade Ending) Part 1:

With another chapter of this story coming out soon, I thought now would be a good time to share my thoughts on the first part. Before I do that, though, I have a few things that I would like to get off my chest.

A part of me hates that this project exists. Not because I find it disrespectful, but because it serves as a bitter reminder of what a complete mess this ending caused among many fans. I'm still in disbelief how things got so bad so quickly. First, you've got the people who hated it. People began turning on Isayama and calling him a terrible or incompetent writer, regretting ever getting into the series, insisting that it was worse than Game of Thrones, the list goes on and on. People who liked the ending are now endlessly referred to as "ending defenders" or more crude names like "Isayama cockriders," as though they're a bunch of incompetent fools who don't know the first thing about reading comprehension all because they just happened to like it. And then of course you've got the other extreme end of the spectrum where the ones who were disappointed are accused of not understanding the story or they're only upset because their favorite ship or fan theory didn't become canon. This, too, is very demeaning and invalidating for those who grew up with this series that they gave their heart to and cherished for so long, only to have it do what they felt was a complete 180 at the very last second that undid every part of the story they thought was special and unique. It's one of the hardest slaps to the face you can get as a reader and long-time fan, and while I can't fully relate to everyone's feelings, I can at least understand and acknowledge that it's there and it shouldn't be laughed at. Now with all of that out of the way, here are my thoughts and analysis of this fanmade ending and how it differs from Isayama's.

To start things off, I found that part 1 started off similar to how 137 did in the canon manga, with Armin and Zeke conversing in PATHS. The biggest difference would be kid Eren being transported there and seeing his older self. To be fair though, this chapter was only about half the length of what we're used to reading, so I'm sure we'll get a lot more in part 2 onwards.

While Zeke is enlightening Armin on the history of the earth and how the life form that attached itself to Ymir sought to avoid death forever, young Eren is in PATHS too with his older self, witnessing the moment Ymir found the tree and fell in it to become the first titan. At first, there is no dialogue exchanged between them. They just hold hands and watch. Meanwhile, Zeke is still talking to Armin about Ymir and how she continued to serve her oppressive master despite acquiring godlike powers that would allow her to obliterate him whenever she pleased. This is where the team working on this project attempt to provide their own alternate possibilities as to why this happened in a way that would make more sense than what we were given in the canon story in which she simply had a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome and couldn't let him go no matter how much he made her suffer.

So what are these new possibilities? They come in the form of a question, so their validity is not made absolutely certain, but they're presented as the most likely candidates nonetheless.

According to Zeke, she was unable to separate her own desires from King Fritz and was a lost girl who sought meaning. A place to belong. Tragically, King Fritz was the only connection she had in her life, so she clung to it with everything she had despite it being toxic and abusive. I could argue that these are the very reasons why she supposedly loved the king in the official manga, as explained by Eren in 139, but they weren't explained or touched on as plainly as they were here. I feel like they could have been if Isayama had just been given more time, but sadly the whole thing was rushed and underdeveloped.

Moving on, Zeke states that despite his efforts in trying to understand Ymir and her feelings, it was Eren who ultimately was able to get to her and offer her the choice of freedom. The next page transitions to young Eren standing in the clouds with his arms spread out and a smile on his face just like in the official 137, only this time 19yo Eren is next to him. Now I'm going to be honest here, this is where things started to get a little corny for me. Yeah. I know a lot of people hate that argument, but that's just how it felt to me. And before I say anything else, I want everybody to know that I am in no way about to mock anyone's fondness of this Eren over the one we saw in 139, even if it was a little over-the-top. It's perfectly fine to prefer one over the other, I'm just going to try to explain myself the best I can without coming across as harsh or unprofessional.

Eren is drawn in these panels to be a stone-faced, determined and unstoppable force who will "keep moving forward until his enemies are destroyed." This is the Eren that many people grew most familiar with throughout the series, despite his occasional breakdowns, but something about the way it was executed just felt a little too overdramatic and exaggerated. For me, the contrast between this Eren and the Eren we were presented with in 139 is too jarring. It came across to me as the fandom's idealized version of Eren, the "chad" Eren if you will, rather than Isayama's portrayal of Eren who is cold and determined, but has also been experiencing stunted mental growth ever since the day he saw his mother get eaten; side note: I know that Eren himself was responsible for his mother's death, but that's a discussion for a later time. Not only that, but the "keep moving forward" line starts to get overused at this point. We already heard Eren say this a number of times before 137 where this first fanmade chapter takes place, so I didn't find it necessary to include that at the end, but it seemed to be the writers' way of trying to reinforce Eren's ultimate goal.

Regarding the rest of the chapter, young Eren asks older Eren what Ymir is still waiting for after he showed her that she's not alone. 19yo Eren proceeds to explain that while he was able to make her feel something again, she still needs somebody to free her. He shows his younger self all of the visions from PATHS that he's seen so far, ranging from past events to alternate realities to things that couldn't be changed no matter what. Now there is only one path left that he strives toward. The one that he believes will grant him and his people freedom. This next line is the one that stood out to me the most throughout this fanmade chapter. Still talking to kid Eren, adult Eren says, "When you wake up, you will forget what you learned, but not what you felt here. This will all feel just like a long dream." Only when he kisses Historia's hand will it all come back to him. This line more clearly explains why Eren woke up crying in chapter 1, but couldn't remember why. Then he circles back to how he intends to carry out his own plan to end the cycle of hatred once and for all. Despite his efforts along the way, he couldn't change the flow of PATHS and save the friends he lost or prevent certain events from happening altogether, so he had to accept that sacrifices had to be made. In this case, he will have to literally sacrifice the world, much to Armin's horror.

To wrap this up, I'm going to finish comparing this to the canon 137, but since the first part of this project only covers the PATHS portion of it, that's where I'll stop as well. To save a little but of time, I'm just gonna be lazy and copy the first part of a quick overview of the chapter I found as part of the wiki:

So clearly, canon 137 starts off focusing a lot more on Armin and Zeke's differing philosophies and does not provide any further insight into Eren's ultimate motives like this one does, at least not yet. Armin and Eren are bound to face off soon in this fanmade version, but it looks to me like this time the writers are planning on flipping the outcome and having Eren come out victorious instead, especially when I remember the name of this project and what it's based on. I guess that means that in a way, I already know what's ultimately going to happen throughout the rest of this project. Whether it's going to be considered superior to the actual ending is going to depend on if its executed properly. I could very well be wrong about some of this, though. I want to give it a fair shot since these people have clearly put a lot of hard work and passion into this, so I will refrain from further judgement until we get the full picture. On a side note, I just want to say that the artwork is beautiful so far and I commend every artist responsible for their efforts. I also liked the song choice at the beginning and thought it set the mood pretty well.

Thank you to everyone who read the whole thing. This took me far longer to write than it should have because I'm not always good at expressing myself in a way that does not come across as confusing or contradictory. I will continue to share my thoughts as more content is released, which by the looks of it could be any day now.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Betrothed Ch. 10 - Illumi Zoldyck x Reader

Chapter 10: Bewilderment

Summary: What is Illumi doing while you are searching for him?

Warnings: Violence, murder, angst.

Words: ~1900

A/N: Sorry for taking so long guys, I recently have little time left to write.

Story Masterlist

“No one is more dangerous than the insane which is calm all the time: he is like a steel bridge without flexibility, and the order of his life is rigid and brittle.  A minor change can cause the functioning madman to collapse.”

There was no time to grieve.

After you had put an end to the puppet that took after your beloved husband, Okogame revealed that he in fact had cloned the entire Phantom Troupe as well.

Gladly, and much to your surprise, the spiders cleaned their own mess and assisted you and your friends in getting rid of the remaining puppets.

And ultimatively, Pretz was the one to put an end to her brother’s wrongdoings, ending both of their suffering as well.

Their deaths left you with a bitter aftertaste: Was there really no other way to end one’s madness? There had to be another way!

Kurapika had run out of strenght, which was only fortunate since him collapsing was the only thing keeping him from recklessly challenging the spiders.

So all of you stood in front of the burning chapel, only able to watch as Okogame’s sins were cleansed through the fire.

What would it take to free Illumi from the curse that was his own mind?

“Not so fast” you gnarled while your friends were still distracted by the tragic view. “Hisoka. We need to talk.”

The mage was already about to leave, yet acting all innocent. “Oh? Who do we got here? The happy bride...”

“Don’t play stupid.” Trying to act intimidating, you built yourself up in front of the much taller man. "You’re what comes closest to being a friend for him, so you must know where he is. Tell me!”

“It’s so long since we’ve first met at the Hunter Exam...” Hisoka chuckled quite amused, licking the blood from one of his playing cards. “I didn’t even know you had relationship problems.”

“Big understatement.” Hisoka’s carefree manner had gotten to you vfrom the very first moment, you had to admit. He almost managed to make you crack a smile.

“You seem to have gotten quite the control over your husband, so I thought our next meeting would be under...different circumstances. Maybe getting a drink together or even murder someone.”

“I don’t have time for your bullshit.” His eyes widened in pleasant surprise, a strangled moan escaping his throat as your knife threatened his neck. “Where. Is. He?!?”

“Oh, my...you’ve sure grown strong. Is that Illumi’s influence?”

“Yes. It is” you smiled confidently, putting the blade down again. “We may fight one day, but this is not the time.”

“Promise?” Hisoka was almost aroused at your words, imagining you and Illumi both challenging him at the same time.

“Whatever.”

“Well...” he waved the card in the air, putting it to his lips as if he was in deep thought. “He didn’t contact me, but word spreads fast. There’s a rumor about a mass murderer in Yorknew City. His only targets are assassins and other criminals. Isn’t that a coincidence?”

Your eyes immediately widened, heart painfully hammering against your chest as you imagined that he escaped his family, yet kept on taking lives.

“Lumi...”

At the same time, on the other side of the ocean, Illumi was wandering a dark alley in the poor district of Yorknew City.

Usually, he wasn’t able to dream in years, or at least it was insignitifant enough to instantly forget about it - yet ever since he had left you and his home, nightmares occured daily: 

Most of the time it were especially cruel things he did on his missions, or murders he performed solely out of his own, twisted desire. Sometimes it were flashbacks about his childhood, which he actually thought to have forgotten about a long time ago.

It all re-emerged now, robbing his sleep - the last thing to keep together the fraction of his sanity.

More than often, he’d dream about you too, of course.

But you’d always only be running away from him, deeply sfrightened. And every time he reached you, without having the intention, his blood-stained hands ended your life as well, leaving him to scream and cry for his precious Y/N.

How were you doing these days, he wondered?

His conscience was calling out to him ever since he had abandoned and left you alone with his family. This wasn’t like him to act without thinking things through.

But he did, and he won’t be able to change the consequences.

“Y/N is strong. Any my family doesn’t have any use for them. They’ll be okay...”

Suddenly, a noise drang to Illumi’s sharpened senses: A weak voice, barely audible, pleading for anyone to hear.

Illumi’s feet moved on their own - maybe because of curiosity, but who knows. And only a few blocks away he found the surce of the voice: It was a stray cat, way smaller than the usual ones, due to malnutrition.

Your husband was merely a bystander, watching a man yelling at the animal that of course couldn’t respond. How odd.

“Fucking thing!” the man balled his fists, swinging them in the air. “Hey! You! Whaddaya looking at? That your cat?”

“No” was Illumi’s plain answer as he stepped into the dim street light, actually not wanting to bother himself with the situation.

“It better not be. Stole my fish at the market, and ruined the others with it’s dirty paws!”

Just when the man prepared to kick the poor animal with his boots, his leg seemed to have magically disappeared midair.

Before the amputated leg hit the ground, the merchant had already collapsed, screaming in agony as he slowly but surely bled to death.

“Here” Illumi spoke casually as he threw a piece of fabric towards the man. He always pitied his victims, at least a little bit. “Try binding off the stump to stop the bleeding. Maybe you’ll make it until an ambulance arrives.”

Already prepared to attend more important matters again, he turned around - but then he heared another, weak meow close behind.

The tiny cat couldn’t even hold itself on it’s feet, yet tried everything to follow your husband’s firm steps. It bit the fabric on his legs ever so slightly, trying to keep him from leaving so fast.

Letting out a small noise of surprise, Illumi crouched down the the cat’s heigh, eyeing it quie suspecting.

Because usually, animals were smarter than that. They had a natural instinct when it came to aura, so it was no wonder that Illumi’s constant hostility and bloodlust always drove them off - even though he actually was really fond of them.

They were easier to deal with than most humans, he thought.

The kitten was bleeding, and his left ear was slightly bitten off by another animal.

Even though it was quite the depressing view, this wouldn’t revoke any emotion inside of your husband. He had seen and did worse, and he had no affiliation with that thing.

“What would Y/N do?”

He remembered how you’d always bring home injured animals, talking about responsibility and how every life was precious somehow. That doing good deeds could make one happy without having an actual advantage from it.

To be honest, he thought it to be kind of hypocritical considering you were a goddamn assassin, but whatever.

Who was he to judge anyone’s morality anyway?

And the pet’s behaviour somehow intrigued him, so he carefully picked it up as he bid the merchant one last look.

“Oh. He died already.”

The Zoldyck family possessed safehouses all over the world, and in big cities like Yorknew City was one, several at once.

Only a few, chosen people knew about those certain locations - and since his family never really seemed to care for him anyway, he knew they wouldn’t be searching for him. And even if they wanted to find him, there was no clue where an erratic man like himself could’ve gone to, so they would take a while.

So it would be fine to use them until he had cleansed the city from all filth before he’d travel to another - even though that would take quite a while.

“Here” he mumbled, still quite unaffected by the animal’s condition as he put it down on the small sleeping cot.

There wasn’t anything else to do right now, so he could save that thing, he thought.

Trying hard to remember how you’d always patch him up, Ilumi got the first-aid kit out of the shelf and gathered a bowl of water. Only when he didn’t find anything to nurture the cat he realized that he himself hasn’t eaten in days.

“Y/N would be furious..” he thought, almost smiling while recalling how you’d always scold him for not taking care of himself enough. “Maybe I should buy some groceries.”

The cat was unusual still, considering hurt animals are more than often very defensive and on high alert. Yet that one let Illumi touch it all he wanted, even purring as he unconsciously began to pet it’s dirty but soft fur.

It was almost heartwarming to him, giving him a slight impression about what you liked so damn much about helping those weaker than yourself.

Yeah, animals were way easier to deal with.

They had no difficult emotions or morals, neither did they want you to understand them. All that was important was their natural needs, and shall you fullfill them, they’d get attached to you.

But humans were different.

Asides from his work, Illumi had spent a of his time and concentration on you and you alone. He had given you food and shelter, also basically drowning you in gifts and luxurity. And he would’ve died for your protection.

Of course it had also been his duty that you’d become a perfect assassin, yet he went very easy on you during training. In wild contrast to everything he had experienced himself, his touch was always tender and full of care.

Yes, he would’ve met every single one of your desires, and yet you were unfullfilled.

Animals seeked freedom. They don’t like being locked in cages.

Was that it?

Were you feeling the same after being locked away for such a long time, like some sort of trophy?

He just now realized that you had always listened to him: His feelings, his past, his commands...but did he ever do the same for you?

Before, just like Hisoka, Illumi was a man of the present: He would’ve never looked back. The past wasn’t worth remembering, even faces of the people he killed vanishing from his inner eye just barely after he finished them off.

And the future? He’d never thought of that.

Illumi Zoldyck was merely a tool of darkness, working with a ruthless efficiency to ensure his place in the family.

He was numb and served no other purpose...right?

But now he had an own goal: Cleanse the world from the profession of those filthy assassins - so no one would’ve to suffer as you or his siblings did.

“Oh.”

Your husband pulled his hand away after the cat softly dug it’s teeth inside of his index finger. He probably accidentally hurt it. “Sorry.”

At least he had someone to talk to, now. You knew best just how often he would rant to himself or think out loudly - and he had to remember how you told him that only very lonely people would do that, because no one has ever listened to them.

“I always told Kill he doesn’t have the qualification to make friends, but in the end it was only me...”

Illumi didn’t even bother washing the blood from today’s work from his hands, falling on the bed with his back first and staring to the bare ceiling with a broken smile.

“Moreso...I don’t deserve to be loved. I really am the worst.”

_____

If you want to get on the taglist or get removed from feel free to ask! ♡

@roseburry-jam @food-cures-all @oprah-winfriess @ullinic @sun-and-moon-elfingsmeme @chocolateislovr @sapphic-ghoul@coco724 @jessiejunebug@yukiwins@weflyinfluff@readlatersnowy @gibk @spasmodicterror@djgirl66@pweeenis@trblsicheng @theromaniangirl@cluelessmxnd@s1sterofthemoon @spasmodicterror @note-reblog@tamxixxx@orophaea @frankenduffy @cinnamon-beans @8-ash@cherryyongs @destructive-memories@patheticgay69@sappyisyourpappy @sadferalgremlin @selca11@itsfakearies@djgirl66 @rizawantspizza@g-creevan913 @oprah-winfriess@actressania @rolo-at-midnight @slutforpapawise@myminmango @scatter-mind001 @mimilovesfantrolls @the-temple-pythoness@g-creevan913 @jovialnoise @gibk @callumi@jiminie666@justhavefunwithit @nadzhaf @corpse-deactivated20011031 @mariana-127 @menhwra @rolo-at-midnight@jaz-plaz @loser-alert @illumifucker69 @leenaofarc@catlovesdogs17 @softvgold @gibk @bungeedummy @cinnamon-beans @illum1swhore @avaskylynnbrook @winchescumberholland@beifongt @kalxswin @reblogmeplease @kola95 @xxx-angelic@megurururu @melkuuu12 @angrymuffoun @illumiswifx  @lunasin @yukiwins @angrymuffoun @shinakugo​ @avaskylynnbrook @heda-mikaelson @toandtvd-daily @aryu-azaha @bbunnycore @night-shadowblood-writes2@jasonpetertoddismygod @oya-noya​ @lolnoyoudontknowme​ @applekenm​ @nohxmanity​ @djgirl66​ @groundbeefella​ @nohxmanity​ @actressania​ @doliren​ @pinetomyapple​ @cinnamon-beans​ @phos-faust​ @dailydumsterfirewithsass​ @winchescumberholland​

Feedback is always appreciated!

[bonesaldente]

Ferocious I Darth Maul x Reader

Chapter 10: Trust

last chapter

all chapters

ao3

warnings: nudity, mildly suggestive language

words: 4000+

_____

note: For… reasons, this is an alternate universe in which space ships have actual showers with water, not just sonic showers. Also, Maul’s cybernetics are waterproof. I don’t make the rules... wait- I do. Also, make sure to read the end notes today :)

_____

Stars, you hate it here.

Everything, from the endless nights to the lack of clean water and the ever-looming prospect of going to prison increases your motivation to somehow fix the communicator yourself and run off before Kenobi can take you with him, leaving him stranded on the planet.

For exactly a decade, just to be even.

“It should work,” Kenobi remarks with very apparent annoyance. “Everything is connected and the power source is on.”

“Well, it’s obviously not working.”

“Thank you for your observation.” He drops his hands into his lap, looking quite defeated. And tired.

While you’ve been keeping some structure in your days, he’s been working tirelessly on repairing that communicator. Until he did tire out, occasionally.

Now was one of these occasions.

“I’m losing focus and I can hardly see anything. It’ll be best to continue when the sun comes back up again.”

Which is precisely what you were hoping he’d say, but you still force yourself to make another snide comment. “Maybe it’ll fix itself while you’re resting and we are magically transported off this planet.”

He pays you no mind and heads to what’s become his sleeping spot over the past days - or has it been over a week already?

“I trust you’ll keep watch?”

You just huff, but don’t refuse his request. It is an agreement you’ve come to quite early on when you both realized that the death of one would make the other’s survival significantly less likely. So while he sleeps, you make sure no animals sneak up and attack him, which, apart from the “dinner” incident a few days ago, only happened once, but still rattled him enough to make him remind you of your duty evry time he went to sleep.

Except tonight, you plan on shifting your attention to something completely different. 

You have not, in fact, come to terms with the probable reality that you’ll spend the rest of your days in a prison of the Republic. Instead, you’ve been observing what exactly Kenobi is doing to repair the life-saving device and despite your lack of aptitude in such things, you, too, see that the communicator should - in theory - work. Kenobi is overworked and agitated; it would only be natural for him to miss something.

Something you might be able to catch and use to your advantage.

 You remain still where you are until you hear his quiet breaths evening out, indicating he has fallen asleep.

“Kenobi?” You whisper into the silence, a last test to check if he is still conscious.

No response.

Your heart beats fast in your chest, all too aware of how pressing time is. For some reason, this man rarely sleeps more than two hours at a time, which could be partially blamed on you for always nagging at him when he isn’t trying to fix the communicator. But then again, you have the feeling that he usually doesn’t have very different habits.

With the kind of stealth only someone who has been trained in these arts could bring up, you sneak across the clearing to where the source of all your troubles and hope lies on the ground.

The device has been taken out of the starfighters cockpit and thus looks pretty out of place and… unfinished. But you know better, having watched the Jedi dismantle and reassemble every little piece.

The metal glints in the shine of your flashlight as you crouch to be on eye-level with the device. At first glance everything seems to be in order, just like the Jedi remarked, but that is not acceptable. Fixing the cursed thing before Kenobi is your only way to freedom and you will not allow your own incompetence to stand in your way.

So you look again. And again.

You shine light into every little corner, every port, under every wire and in between each panel. Time is passing too quickly, you are aware, and your chances are dwindling.

But then you see it.

Tiny and inconspicuous, something organic - a seed maybe - is blocking one of the loose wires from connecting with its respective port. 

You bite your lip to suppress a victorious exclamation, looking over your shoulder to check if Kenobi is still fast asleep.

Heart thrumming in your ears, you take a deep breath to calm your nerves and steady your hand for the task ahead. Cautiously, you lift some of the metal paneling to give you access to the section, fingers weaving through the wires with extra care since many of them are not firmly in place due to the crash and were only pinned to their receptors by Kenobi.

At last, your fingertips graze the disruptive piece of forest that has made it so far into the technology. Slowly, you remove it from its spot, moving the wire back to where it was supposed to connect.

Now let’s try this.

You turn the power on, holding your breath and praying to whatever force there is out there that it won’t make any noise.

A quiet whir is the only indication that the power is flowing, causing a small smile to creep over your hidden features. The display comes to life, faintly glowing blue. You throw looks over your shoulder every few seconds, hastily pressing the buttons to type in the private comm information Maul and all his commanding warriors kept as a backup for emergencies. You have no idea how many emergencies must have occurred in these past weeks, but you hope your message won’t be drowned out by others. This is the only shot you get.

You pick some coordinates that, if your knowledge of space navigation isn’t misleading you, should be a few miles north of your current location, then sign the message with ‘ -S ’ .

You stare at the numbers, forcing your mind to absorb them, then you hit send and a series of green lights tells you it at least went out successfully, meaning all you can do now is to hope that it will be received the same way. 

Kenobi is still fast asleep, chest rising and falling steadily. You almost feel sorry for what you’re about to do, but there really aren’t many alternatives. 

You take out a small vial from a pocket in your belt, filling a syringe with it. It’s been a while since you last used it, but you made sure you always have some tranquilizers on you, and now you’re thankful for that.

On your tiptoes, you sneak to Kenobi’s sleeping form, narrowing your eyes to make out the exposed skin on his neck.

The needle is buried in his neck in a matter of seconds and his eyes shoot open in shock and confusion while his hands fly to his neck.

“Why-”

“Nothing personal,” you assure him when his eyelids droop and his words lose coherence.

Normally, this should knock a person out for at least three hours, but you don’t know how a force sensitivity might influence that. One way or another, you should take off now and get as big a headstart as you can. But first, one more thing.

You give the heap of beige robes that is the Jedi knight one more almost regretful look, then you crush the communicator beneath your heel. Can’t risk him calling for Republic forces while you’re still in the area after all, and you’d have no way of taking the device with you, since it’s hooked up to the ship wreckage.

Why you spare his life, you don’t know, and you’d rather not spend too much time thinking about it. Perhaps you should kill him, after all he’s done to Maul, and why your conscience decides to pipe up now of all times will remain a mystery. You have killed people in less honorable ways, but…

“Ugh,” you grunt, finally turning your back on the Jedi and starting your journey north.

 *

 “Maul! Maul, come here!”

He jerks up, briefly having fallen asleep leaned against the wall. For a second, he fully expects to see your gleaming eyes staring back at him, that’s how familiar the voice is. It takes him a moment to understand that it’s not you, but Loa calling him.

Which is supremely peculiar, because the young woman rarely ever addresses him, let alone command him.

He is out of the room, your room, in a flash, looking over Loa’s shoulder at the message displayed a second later.

Both of his hearts seem to skip a beat.

The message consists of nothing but a set of coordinates, the only indication of its origin the ‘ -S ’ with which it is signed.

S as in… Spectress?

It must be you. There is no one else with access to this line of communication who would send this kind of message.

Loa gapes at the writing. 

“It’s… It’s her, isn’t it? It’s gotta be her, I’m…”

“Set course,” is his only response, sitting down in the copilot’s seat, several scenarios already running through his mind.

“Looks like some type of… forest moon,” She remarks, readying the ship for hyperspace with outstanding speed and routine. You weren’t exaggerating at all when you said she had become a good pilot.

He ponders for a minute. If you are somehow stranded there, they won’t need reinforcement, with their forces stretched thin as it is. But if any threats lurk nearby and he puts your little sister in danger…

He will die by your hand, then. Or his own.

“How long?”

“Estimate of four hours.”

“Very well. I will try to find out what to expect when we arrive there.”

 According to his sources, there has been no Republic activity in the system in question over the past month - that’s what he found out after two hours of vehement research. Really, he already knew that after thirty minutes, but you being so close yet so far from him drove him to bury himself in databanks and records by his spies.

His thoughts travel to a darker place.

He doesn’t know what state you’ll be in when he finds you - if he finds you. And even if you’re fine, everything else is far from fine. Mandalore, the crime syndicate and most of all, Savage…

Something on the dresser that takes up most of the cramped space clatters to the floor when he loses control of the chaotic force inside him and he flinches, immediately worrying he broke something of importance to you. After all, he has taken up residence in what used to be your small quarters on your ship, before everything happened, before you joined the Death Watch, before you saw him again.

When you were still living relatively safe, off the Republic’s radars.

Out of Master’s reach.

It’s been torturing him every waking moment to think that you might meet the same end that Savage did. The speculation of what could have been if he hadn’t reentered your life has become a constant in his mind. Because if he ever has to see the life fade out of your eyes, the way he saw the nightsister magick leave Savage when he exhaled his last breath, he isn’t sure he could forgive the galaxy. He vows to himself, already vowed to himself few days after he first laid eyes on you, that he will do anything to keep that fiery soul safe.

His fingers run over the cold piece of metal that has fallen, curiously examining it. No, not normal metal, beskar . There are letters forged into it, but they look like traditional Mando’a scripture, which he is still unpracticed in reading.

He contemplates putting it into the uppermost drawer, lest it get lost during more daring flight maneuvers, but he hesitates. He’s never opened any of the drawers, despite the very persistent curiosity he felt. The last he’d want is to invade your privacy; you hadn’t even consented to him sleeping in your private space (although he doubts you would mind after he has literally slept with you).

Maul makes up his mind and pulls the drawer open, not intending to even look, but his gaze still gets caught.

He expected to find clothes, maybe, or, knowing you, weapons. What he finds instead is a collection of… trinkets. 

It’s not new to him that you have a tendency to collect items, sometimes out of sentiment, sometimes as a trophy. He didn’t realize you kept them so meticulously stored.

It’s quite endearing, he thinks.

Some of the items he recalls you talking about, but others seem entirely random. His eyes linger on a piece of flimsiplast that looks like a child has drawn on it. 

He is tempted to take it out and hold it into the light, but quickly realizes that it would go against his original decision not to pry.

There is so much personal history collected in that small space. Dozens of untold stories, so many parts of your life that he missed.

He won’t rest until he knows you’ll still be able to tell them.

 *

 Oddly enough, you miss Kenobi. More precisely, you miss his ability to sense danger before it has reached you.

Every little noise startles you, every swish of wind making your heart stop and you increase your speed a little.

By now, you’re nearly running through the woods, less than half a mile away from the coordinates you chose.

Chances are, he has woken up by now. And you’re not stupid; you know it’ll be easy for him to track you down when there is no civilization around. From what your understanding of the force is, he should be able to sense your force signature from a larger distance when there is nothing else to disrupt it. That also means that he will be hot on your tail, so whoever shows up to rescue you better hurry .

With a heavy heart, you turn off your flashlight and lean against a tree while you remove your mask for better air supply and allow your eyes to adjust. It still takes so kriffing long, you wonder if that’ll ever change.

If Kenobi finds you first, it won’t make much of a difference.

You get moving again, slower but also less of a beacon in the dark.

The trees start coming in more sparsely now, until you can actually see farther than twenty feet without trees blocking your view. This allows you to pick up speed again and thus make up for the darkness that is slowing you down, until the landscape is so open that you’re actually running now.

And that’s when you hear them.

Branches cracking somewhere behind you. 

Probably just the wind. Keep going.

The dull thud of feet hitting the ground makes your breath catch in your throat.

So maybe he did wake up earlier than anticipated.

You whirl around, seeing nothing but his black silhouette and desperately wishing for a lightsaber, which you - unwisely - have sworn off after the Naboo incident. That, and running around wielding a lightsaber wasn’t exactly the level of subtlety you were going for at the time.

But now, you could really use it.

“I spared your life!” You yell.

“And destroyed my only way away from here,” he responds, sounding almost hurt as he makes slow steps towards you. You take just as many backwards.

Something in the sky beyond him catches your eye and suddenly, the situation looks different.

“I’ve got to look out for myself first,” you argue. “Surely, you understand that.”

“You know I can’t let you go.”

“I do,” you say serenely, taking a deep breath, then whirling around to make a run for it.

You don’t need to look over your shoulder to know he is following you and, even worse, gaining on you.

The small headstart you got, combined with the distance between you two in the first place isn’t nearly enough, even though you are in great shape and a truly fast runner.

The ship you spotted earlier now flies over your head, approaching the ground and you could laugh and cry at the same time. It’s not just any ship, it’s your ship. Your home, and aboard, you hope, your family.

It doesn’t touch the ground, but it flies low enough to be accessible from the ground while slowing to a speed that should allow for you to jump on, if you could only run a little faster.

Damn, ten years ago this would have been easier.

The blast door in the back, only about twenty feet away from you, slides open, revealing a figure that even in the dark you can make out to be…

Maul.

He extends his hand and you instantly know what he wants you to do.

So, you take a deep breath and jump .

The moment your feet leave the ground you feel the tug of the force pulling you to the zabrak while your own hand reaches forward and you fly through the air, until your hand finally reaches Maul’s.

You are not safe yet, still hanging from the edge of the ship when you suddenly feel a different pull on one of your ankles. Your eyes widen in shock and you try to tell Maul that it’s Kenobi, he is pulling you back, but all that you manage is a terrified shriek when your hand almost slips out of his at a particularly strong pull backwards.

Not this time, Kenobi.

Your determination sets in and you look down to see Kenobi standing still, arms extended to manipulate the force. With your one free hand, you reach for your blaster, aiming and-

The hold on your ankle abruptly loosens and you are yanked on board at once, the blast door sliding shut immediately, drowning out the deafening sound of wind.

You are panting, sprawled out on the floor, not even realizing that you did it .

“Hyperspace, as soon as possible,” you distantly hear Maul say, but the thrumming of your heart is too loud to properly hear his voice, until he somehow sits you up and…

Embraces you. 

Warm fingers run through your messy hair, soft murmurs that you can’t quite understand coming from right next to your ear.

“I’m filthy,” you protest weakly, half-heartedly trying to free yourself from his hold but he only holds on tighter and at last you melt into the affection, burying your face in his neck.

“Is Loa…?”

“In the cockpit,” he instantly calms your worries and you sigh happily. For a moment, everything is alright.

“What did I miss?” You eventually muster up the courage to ask.

His grip tightens so much you can feel his fingertips dig into your hip and you immediately know something bad happened.

“It was… Master. He killed Savage.”

Your heart sinks, the previous relief replaced by a dark type of sadness. There is anger and, most dominantly, fear.

The Sith lord doesn’t intend on letting Maul off, which by extension also means there is a target on everyone he surrounds himself with.

You can’t even find words to console him, only taking in a shaky breath against his skin and whispering, "I'm sorry."

"He's free now."

Eventually, you find the strength to get up, tiredly patting over to the cockpit.

“Hey.” Loa presses a few last buttons, then jumps up and crushes you in a tight hug.

“I thought I would never see you again.”

“You know me better than that,” you retort mildly.

“I suppose so,” she sighs, holding you at an arm’s length. “You need a shower,” she assesses, plucking a leaf from your hair.

Self-consciously you run a hand through the tangles, then look down at your muddy clothes.

“I agree.”

 Maul waits for you when you leave the cockpit, immediately taking your hand as if to reassure himself that you are truly there.

“Missed me?” You joke half-heartedly, doing nothing to hide the way the tension seems to melt from your body at the touch.

“Every minute,” he answers earnestly, not a hint of a joke in his voice.

“Come with me, then,” you offer, making your way to the refresher and pulling him along. As expected, he follows you all too willingly, thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand.

You don’t even bother undressing all the way before getting under the water stream, suddenly realizing how much you’ve been longing for it. While your clothes soak, the water pooling around your feet turns a muddy brown as the dirt from the forest is finally washed off.

Maul steps in the small shower behind you, holding a hand into the falling water.

“That’s cold,” he states.

“Not for me, it’s not.” You eye his frown. “But we can turn the temperature up.”

The heat does feel good, and not much later you finally attempt to peel off the remaining layers of clothing. Red tattooed hands come to your aid fast and within seconds, your skin is completely exposed, the stress of the past weeks running down the drain along with the dirt and… blood?

You bring a hand up to touch your forehead at the same time that a scowl makes its way on Maul’s face.

“Kenobi,” he growls, but you shake your head.

“That’s from when I crashed the starfighter.” You examine your bloodied fingers with moderate interest. “I think it’s healed already, that’s just dried blood coming off.”

He huffs, lightly running a finger over the area on your face.

“Any other injuries?” His eyes roam your body, not in a sexual, but in a concerned manner.

“None I can think of,” you sigh as he gathers soap in his hands, closing your eyes for a moment as the warm water runs over your face. When you don’t hear another noise from Maul, you open your eyes again, only to find him staring at you with something like bewilderment in his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

He responds by crashing his lips into yours, expressing so many emotions through his actions that he otherwise can’t find the words for. You very nearly fall at the suddenness of it, but his arms are wrapped around you in a heartbeat, pressing you into his chest and giving you the skin-to-skin contact you’ve been missing so terribly.

Your eyes water as emotions overcome you, the relief, the sorrow, the uncertainty and… guilt.

When you break apart, his are shining in a similar way.

 You lean against the weapons locker, facing the ceiling while you let the details of your situation soak in. The havoc that was wreaked on Mandalore by the resistant Mandalorians, the coming and going of the crime families, and the looming threat of Sidious’ grand plan finally coming together.

“I have a suggestion,” you begin slowly. “But you’re not going to like it.”

“Go on.”

“The Jedi are not our main enemy anymore, if what you foresee comes true.” You recall him talking about the envisioned destruction of the Jedi order, something that Sidious has been plotting for a long time. “If we give them the right tools to do so, it’ll be them who need to fight him, not you. Not any of us.” Your eyes dart to the cockpit where your sister is holed up.

“Tools, such as… knowledge?” He touches his chin the way he always does when he mulls over an idea.

“Sidious is but one man. He only thrives on secrecy, so if we-”

“A Jedi will never cooperate with a Sith .” He snarls. “Their self-righteousness wouldn’t allow it.”

“Maybe not.” You sigh with exhaustion. “All I know is that the better equipped the Jedi, the higher the chance of them actually defeating Sidious before it’s too late. And that’s why I have another proposition.”

“What is it?”

“We make a small transmission to the Republic fleet, sending them the same coordinates I sent you.”

“You’re trying to save Kenobi?” He doesn’t sound angered, he sounds… surprised.

“As much as I dislike him, he is one of their more capable knights, and it’s become pretty obvious he and his padawan are quite invested in uncovering Sidious’ identity.” 

You are astounded he even considers the idea. 

“Also, helping him could be interpreted as a show of good faith. Might get them off our back for some time, until we figure out who to fight,” you add.

For a minute, he remains silent. Then, his arm is wrapped around your waist and his lips brush over your temple.

“I trust your judgment,” he mumbles. “Do what you believe is right.”

___

SOOO, after a two week delay, I have elected to post once more... my bad. In the next 2-4 weeks I’d like to edit and improve the older chapters because I’m not 100% happy with the writing in them anymore, so because of that there won’t be another update during that time. Don’t worry though, I’m not done yet, the story will go on - just after a short break :,)

@princessayveke @spaghetti-666 @noiralei @larawl @secretnerd00 @bagpipes606 @zabrak-show @brilliantbutbatty @eleine-t1d

[antihero-writings]

Undead Memory (Ch1)

Fandom: Castlevania (Netflix) (Season 2)

Character Focus: Alucard

Summary: What happened during that month in which Alucard was alone in the castle?

Alucard dealing with the aftermath of S2, and trying to cope with the death—or, more accurately, the ghosts—of his parents.

Notes: First of all, spoilers for season 2!

Another Alucard-centric fic, but actually about the show this time!! Whoo!! I'm excited to finally start posting this one. 

Believe it or not, I started this idea a while before S3 started, wanting to write something for the time after S2 of Alucard being alone in the castle. Then after S3 I wanted to write it both more and less XD The idea of Alucard seeing ghosts brought up at the end of S2 is an interesting one, and one I thought deserved more exploration. As well as just that month where he's alone being something interesting to write about. 

This is one of those fics I wanted to post as a long one-shot, but ultimately got stuck and decided it would be better to break it up into chapters to make it more manageable for both reading and writing. I said it'd be 4 chapters above, but I'm not quite sure exactly how many it'll be. It just helps me to jot down a manageable ballpark number.

That being said, one of the reasons I hesitate to break things up into chapters, is because if people don't seem interested it severely inhibits my desire to keep writing that fic. So, it really does help my motivation a LOT when you comment and say you want to read more!! So just know that when you comment, you're helping more of this fic get written!!

Shoutout to @it-burns-when-i-pee for giving me the clock idea!

Chapter 1: Reminders

There were no graves. Dracula and Lisa didn’t get graves. The rest of the world would have said they didn’t deserve to rest in peace.

Antigone would say Polynices deserved to sing in Olympus all the same.

The only grave they got was a castle. And many would say it was better than most—that they’d take a castle over a headstone, a mausoleum, or the ground any day. They’d say a castle was a hell of a lot better than being dumped down the sewage grate.

And all that’s fair, but perhaps the bigger problem was this: there were no remains.

They both burned. One in holy fire, one in hell. (And who could say where they truly ended up, if there was a heaven and hell after all?)

All that was left of Lisa Tepes was a pile of charcoal on an altar to a priests own pride.

And all that was left of Vlad Tepes was a ring, and a soot stain on the carpet.

Most would say they got what they deserved; to die without chance at Olympus.

Adrian doesn’t know where to put his flowers.

Most children bury their parents eventually, but usually this is when they have children of their own to keep them company, and their parents have been bouncing grandchildren on their knees for at least a year or two, with white hair and crinkled smiles, barely able to walk, or see: sick and ready to greet the gods.

Adrian may look old enough to settle down, but he’s younger than most would surmise. And while he can certainly handle himself, he was not prepared for his parents to die within a year of each other…especially considering that the parent who was meant to be immortal died by his own hand.

He would have liked to have some respite in his own home.

But perhaps, more important than where to put flowers, there was most unfortunate side effect of the lack of remains, and the castle grave:

Ghosts.

And this isn’t the pearly white wraiths wandering around saying ‘boo’, or skulls that float about the head gnashing their teeth. Not even a chained apparition to remind one of their sins.

This is something much worse. Worse because they belong to the house’s owner. Worse because their true grave is his head.

—(And that place never rested)—

Their ghosts wander the castle, not just a graveyard. This castle seems to have an affinity for the undead.

Maybe not everyone could see them. He tries not to indulge the thought that maybe there’s nothing there at all, and they’re nothing more than undead memory.

Alucard has been seeing ghosts since the moment he was left alone in this place.

He’d rather have a grave to mourn them at, and converse with the memories, than watch their ghosts keep him up at night, unable to touch, or to talk to them.

He should remind himself to look up the definition of ‘torment’ later.

At first it was his father’s steps when he walked up the stairs. His mother’s smiles, his own young laughter when he sat in the study. When he sat at the table to eat, he watched the vampire king tossing a young boy into the air, both laughing like fairy wing beats, as Lisa watched on from the table. Alucard tried not to lose his appetite.

Then they were given voice: it was Father’s lessons when he looked for a book in the library. Mother’s stories as he sat reading, making him incapable of concentrating to his own book all the while. Baking cookies together in the kitchen. Father allowing him his first drink—(of wine or blood? Take a guess. He only needed one of them, after all)—as he walked through the cellar. Mother decorating the castle, making it look a little nicer, a little more alive. Not all of them were positive. Their arguing voices down the hallway. His own tears.

Father’s claws against his chest.

And he wouldn’t dare get close to that room. Because whenever he walks past the door, he can still hear his father speak to him like he did when he was still a child dressed in sunlight, and there was nothing but love.

Mother, father and…himself. As if he died long ago with them. As if the happy child he was within them is gone. As if he’s no longer the Adrian who sat with his parents, read with them, baked cookies, and laughed with them…but the Alucard who killed them.

And, well, maybe he didn’t kill his mother, but sometimes he didn’t know what else to think but to blame himself for the thought that he could have saved her.

And he did kill his father.

He still feels that stake in his hand when he walks by that room—(But it wasn’t a stake was it? It was the bedpost of his childhood bed, as if ripping his childhood at the seams and denying everything he was born as). He still feels its splinters in his fingers, the smell of pine, the feeling of it piercing his father’s chest, the way his heartbeat refused to stop—(he rested his head on his chest once, the constancy of the rhythm was comforting then). The warmth of his father’s blood draining over his fingers. The sound of his father’s ripping voice. The unearthly, ungodly howling of the souls trapped inside him—(was he really so bad?). He could still smell his flesh burning.

He still wakes up in the middle of the night with the image of his fathers face melting off its bones as it came closer to him, reaching out as if to to caress his son’s cheek, seared onto his eyes—(is this how Victor Frankenstein felt when the creature smiled at his window?)

But when the morning came, he took that ring and he wore it on a chain around his neck all the same, to remind him of a few things:

One: that love is one of those things that is free, but comes at a high price. If you take it lightly, it will leave you heavily.

Two, an addendum to one: that love is not soft. Love is not flowery words, or even the insatiable desires the romance novels say it is. Love is an insidious fire, when you have it, it rages, and you know what warmth is. When the fireplace is empty it aches, and when your heart breaks your chest gets cut on all the pieces. And underestimating it, calling it weakness, will always be your undoing.

Three—(one that was beginning to weigh heaviest): that living and immortality are not the same thing. Vlad may have been immortal, but he was only ever alive with Lisa.

Four: to always know where he came from…and where he didn’t want to end up.

Five, and final: that though he had saved lives, though it was noble, and the stories and songs would say he was brave, and though Trevor and Sypha would say it was for the greater good…he would always be the son who loved his father…and the son who drove the stake into his father’s heart.

All for love.

He can find respite from the memories sometimes. He finds himself spending too much time down in the Belmont hold, reading, organizing, putting away ancestors—(ancestors not of his, ones that didn’t come back). Learning, pursing his lip in disapproval, or laughing to himself at the thought of some of the things Trevor’s relatives did (making a mental note to use the story against Trevor when he next saw him). Thinking of his friends…and trying not to think of them, lest they become ghosts too.

He likes going out into the woods to get food, and water, and fresh air. He wavers there at times, wondering if maybe he could just… leave. He spends more time out there than is strictly necessary.

Sometimes he runs out into the woods—well, more precisely padding, cantering on paws—and other times flies—trying to make sure his tongue can taste freedom, and his wings can snare sunlight, before he turns back.

But he always has to return. Return to the stuffy, putrefied remains of the castle. The air where he hears his parents whisper sweet words that are gone, where memory reconstructed from fairy castles sweet worlds he’s ripped away.

Would it be so hard to just leave?

Surely we can let the poor wandering souls in the woods find refuge. It was a grave after all. Just let the lost rest against the headstones, though they know not whose skeletons lie beneath them.

He leans against Trevor’s tree, and sees a young boy playing on the branches—laughing, free—and smiles…before it becomes gasp and grimace, and he shakes his head, returning to the castle.

Not them too.

He thought he could take it. The grief. The ghosts. The wrath of the gods

But he can’t stay.

Not forever. That is to say, he can’t leave for long. Just to visit town, to see another person or two, to get out of his head, and pray the specters won’t follow him.

He slings his bag over his shoulder, along with the coat he always wore—the one that smells like the campfires he sat at with Trevor and Sypha—and sighs as he walks out the door.

He has another grave to visit.

[elonaackerman]

In a few hour's the spoiler leaks are going to be released for the final chapter of Attack on titan manga and the official translation on April 9th so before all that happens what are you're thoughts and predictions between the character's and the end of the storyline?

https://ww7.readsnk.com/chapter/shingeki-no-kyojin-spoilers-raw-chapter-139/.

Hello Kian ! I see several of your questions about the ending and I must say I was lost myself with everything happening. However, I think I elaborated a good theory now !

Theory number 1: Eren is alive

This is the theory I acknowledge the most. Many people say that Eren not dying would be too strange after he already survived so much times to his expected deaths, but I don’t think so. Isayama loves to take some clichés and to twist them:

Here is a brief list:

- The MC not dying in the first episodes

- The power of will and friendship (which is shown to be useless in the Trost arc)

- The guy protecting the girl (Mikasa is Eren’s bodyguard, not the contrary)

- The main trio sticking together until the end

- The MC being « special »/being the « chosen one » (Eren is an usurpator)

Something very used in films/books is to use the absence of body as a way to cancel the absolute truth of a death. By showing us a body, Isayama can fool us by transgressing this common rule of « body=dead ».

Also Eren’s death in chapter 138 was just serving Mikasa’s development arc climax. It didn’t solve any matter of their world.

You know I feel like Eren was very relaxed when he saw Mikasa approaching to kill him. He probably already knew what she was going to do and even closed his eyes when she did it (you can see it since on the last panel, Eren has his eyes closed). I feel like if Eren acted this way, it’s because he transferred his consciousness to his body (all this time his head was controlling the titan so he may have regenerated a head on his body). It would explain why this concept was introduced to us with Reiner in season 3 and then never used again.

Plus, Grisha said everything would go along to Eren’s plan, but if Eren didn’t succeed, the Rumbling is stopped and hell awaits eldians: they will be killed after what happened, considered too dangerous, more than they already were. And even if the titan power is removed, there will still be a large part of hate and of revenge in the Rumbling survivors’ hearts. I don’t believe the « Code Geass theory » which says that Eren did the rumbling so the world could see Eldians defending it, and stand united with Mahrs against him (in the role of the bad guy), especially since some Eldians sided with Eren and that he exposed them in Revelio or even in Paradise with his devoted Yeagerists. It’s not realistic at all and it doesn’t fit nor Eren’s character, nor SNK spirit.

Eren had defined goals: « exterminate them all », and that’s what he did, he doesn’t seem to want to stop the rumbling on this panel:

Isayama said he didn’t like characters who weren’t true to their goals, that let the story change their plans and motivations too easily. He wouldn’t give to his MC the traits of a writing he despise.

Another reason why I believe the guy is alive is because his POV was hidden all this time. What’s the point of not giving to us Eren’s perspective while his final battle, when it would have been more powerful, if you did not have a big secret/plot twist generator to hide ? I think Eren and Ymir, who smiles like a creep in 138, manipulated everyone: the way Armin came with all the titan shifters in 137 with the help of Ymir was already really suspicious. Kruger, for example, had no reason to stand against Eren.

Chapter 137 was Armin, 138 was Mikasa so we will surely get Eren perspective for 139. And it will be weird if we have it while the guy is dead. Of course we’ll see what happened in chapter 130 between Eren and Historia (I can’t wait for their POVs) and Historia’s baby. The final panel makes me even more sure that Eren is still alive otherwise who on earth would say « You are free » to a new born child ? Eren x Freedom is canon.

• The Attack Titan

We know the path is a place out of time. It’s in this place that titans are sculpted by Ymir, and that’s why I think it makes sense for Eren to be the first owner of that titan: the attack titan is the only one who ascends in the past instead of descending in the future. If physically it seems to be passed down following the classical timeline, all of it is actually playing in the paths. The Attack Titan was only possessed by rebels, directly influenced by Eren’s mindset. It disappeared at a time, and it was also a part of Ymir’s titan: it’s her rebellious part designed to « attack » the world 2000 years later. I think Isayama might add depth again to the title of the story in 139.

• Major deaths

I can’t help but think: why did Eren let Mikasa cut his head and even indicated his location with titan marks ? I think that it’s possible he wants his last friends to fly away from the battle, thinking they have won when they didn’t, so that he can restart the Rumbling without killing them. The survivors would be Levi, Mikasa, Armin and probably Annie. I think Reiner will die to let Gaby eat him, so that Falco and Gaby, representing the future, can be saved.

It makes sense for Reiner to sacrifice himself for his little cousin: he lived for the ones he loved even if he didn’t wish to live himself, and since Gaby represents the new generation, hope, and that she was the potential inheritor of the Armored Titan, I am convinced she is the one who will eat him.

After that the most probable thing is that Levi and Mikasa, who grew incredibly closer, will live together, same for Annie and Armin. Eren will achieve the Rumbling then go back to Historia and we will have that Akatsuki no Requiem ending.

However, a darker possibility is that everyone except Falco and Gaby might die. I am in denial 😄✌🏻

But, I ask myself how Eren will make titans disappear. I think he might have plotted something with Ymir, after all isn’t she free from King Fritz now ? Or maybe Falco will eradicate the worm (bird vs worm is kinda obvious). However I do not think the people transformed into titans will turn back to normal, it’s not Isayama’s style to « bring back » dead characters, it would make Jean’s and Connie’s deaths less tragic. I think that only shifters will loose their ability and the 13 years thing.

Theory 2: if Eren is dead

• Ymir’s manipulation

I don’t wanna believe it but what if all of this was Ymir’s plan ? If he IS dead, it’s Ymir who is the mastermind and manipulated him so that the parasite would die and that she could get out off the paths. « I took the world’s freedom to gain mine » what if it’s YMIR TALKING in 133 ? She could even had sent the dream to Mikasa in 138 so that she would know WHERE Eren was and kill him, all of this after Ymir took revenge on the world. Remember, the titan who protected Zeke came from earth, and Ymir entered in contact with « the source of all organic life », which means she could be the one behind the birds we keep seeing, including the one on Mikasa dream. She could be smiling because her plan WORKED.

Also remember in the paths where Eren was talking to the Alliance ? He was in his kid Eren form, like Ymir, we didn’t see his eyes, showing his slavery and a strange alike-look. Ymir was standing right next to him, in the exact same position, mirroring him as if he was a sort of reflection/puppet of hers. Everybody thought the contrary until now, that Ymir followed Eren. While she was here, Eren was saying that the only way to end all of this was to take his life: what if Ymir made him say that ?

It makes even more sense when Ymir helped Armin with summoning shifters and that they also had their mouths don’t moving.

• Eldian Society ?

The only way to resolve  everything if Eren is dead is to create an Eldian empire domination with the rest of the world being weak and wiped out. Everybody would live on Paradise and would be teached about the cycle of hate and the heroes who stopped the Rumbling as new Helos, giving us an explanation of that picture in the opening (it could also be Eren’s society as well meant to not repeat the same mistakes as well)

I hope you liked it ! Let’s not suffer too much during the waiting and organize cottagecore RM and EH weddings with the beach Aruannie one instead of crying 💁🏻‍♀️

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 17 of 26

Title: The Other Wind (Earthsea Cycle #6) (2001)

Author: Ursula K. Le Guin

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Third-Person, Female Protagonist (Kinda)

Rating: 5/10

Date Began: 7/8/2021

Date Finished: 7/12/2021

The sorcerer Alder is haunted by a recurring dream. Every night he stands at the border of the afterlife, and the dead call to him from the other side, begging him to free them. Fearing that he may unleash evil upon the world, Alder seeks out Ged, a living man who once escaped the land of the dead. Alder finds himself central to a vast mystery; the origin of the afterlife and how it relates to mankind’s ancient connection to the dragons.

“I think,” Tehanu said in her soft, strange voice, “That when I die, I can breathe back the breath that made me live. I can give back to the world all I didn’t do. All that I might have been and couldn’t be. All the choices I didn’t make. All the things I lost and spent and wasted. I can give them back to the world. To the lives that haven’t been lived yet. That will be my gift back to the world that gave me the life I did live, the love I loved, the breath I breathed." 

Content warnings and spoilers below the cut.  

Content warnings for the book: Death, suicidal ideation, references to child abuse, reference to misogyny, mentioned animal death, mention of slavery.

Man oh man do I wish I enjoyed this book more. It’s not horrible, and there’s stuff I liked, but I found it really hard to get through at times. The Other Wind feels different than anything else in the Earthsea series— to its detriment. There are three main issues I have with the book, all of which I’ll get into.  But ultimately I consider it a mediocre conclusion to an otherwise great series. 

First, this book has unusual pacing. The Earthsea books are generally slow, with a gradual buildup and gratifying conclusion that ties the themes of the story together. The Other Wind is more like a reverse bell curve; it has a great beginning and finale, but the middle meanders and stalls. The novel is split into five chapters, roughly the same length, and the middle three are a slog. There’s the barest whisper of an interesting plot, but not a lot happens— and what does happen isn’t very compelling.

The closest thing to a story in the middle is a subplot involving Seserakh, a Kargish princess. She’s sent to King Lebannen’s court with the expectation he’ll marry her to secure an alliance. A stock idea to be sure, but I can see how it might provide political intrigue. But it’s just aggravating. Tenar is in this storyline for some reason, and she feels contradictory and out of character. She wants to live a simple life and leave palace politics behind— but she also wants to push the literal king into a marriage he doesn’t want. Lebannen gets framed as The Absolute Worst because he (1) doesn’t want to get married to a woman he’s never met, and (2) is distracted by other stuff. There’s an implication that the match is a great choice, yet Seserakh and Lebannen don’t have a conversation until near the end. Of course Lebannen falls madly in love with her the moment they talk. No need to… develop their relationship? Normally I can gloss over a weak subplot, but since so little happens in the middle, that’s impossible here. It’s irrelevant to the main story, so it’s a shame Le Guin spent so much time on it. 

There’s a lot of talking in this book, but little action. Dialogue-heavy characterization isn’t necessarily bad. Le Guin is usually great at that kind of writing. But here, it emphasizes my second problem with the book: there’s too many major characters. Previous books focused on 1 or 2 people, allowing for intimate connection and character growth. LeGuin clearly tries for that here, but there’s so many people and relationships that everyone is underdeveloped. Perhaps this would come off better with a single perspective character, but Le Guin instead chose a shifting POV between 5+ characters. An alternating POV isn’t inherently bad, but it wasn’t a good fit for such a short book. I found myself wishing for focus on Alder (the protagonist!), who’s a genuinely compelling character. Alas. 

My third problem with The Other Wind is exposition. This book resolves several plot threads from previous entries. Obviously, there needs to be some context from the series to tie everything together. But the sheer amount of recap is unreal. So many scenes boil down to a character explaining something that happened to them in a previous book, then connecting it to the current plot. It’s not subtle and sometimes happens with the same event multiple times. It genuinely feels like Le Guin didn’t trust the reader to infer ANYTHING on their own. Having just read the rest of the series, this was especially irritating. I can cut a little slack here; this series began in 1968, and perhaps some returning 2001 readers wouldn’t recall key events. But regardless, The Other Wind is one of the most over-explained things I’ve read in a long time. It’s especially odd because the previous books aren’t like this.

There are things I genuinely like about The Other Wind. On a prose level, Le Guin's a great writer. Even the plotless parts of the book are full of interesting writing choices and philosophical observations. One nice thing about Earthsea is the characters age over the course of the series. Ged started A Wizard of Earthsea as a young boy, but as of The Other Wind is a seventy-year-old man. It’s cool to sit back and see just how much each character developed over time. Earthsea itself changed with them; each book’s events have serious repercussions for the world as a whole. And this book has the most significant change of all. 

When the The Other Wind’s plot is relevant, it’s one of the most interesting in the series. I think it’s a fascinating way to tie up two disparate plot threads. As much as I love The Farthest Shore, it does present a glaring conundrum regarding Earthsea’s core themes. True immortality is only obtained through death— not because of an afterlife, but because the dead become one with the rest of the world. So why does the Archipelago have an afterlife at all? Why is it so bleak and depressing? Why are there no plants, animals, or dragons there? Speaking of, there’s the revelation that dragons and humans were once the same species. Tehanu introduced this idea with various folktales, and the eventual reveal that Tehanu/Therru is a dragon. This idea is newer to the series and thus more malleable, but I like the idea of an entity being two creatures at once, and the mystery behind that.

I think the integration of these two ideas is interesting. Dragons and humans were once the same, but decided to split into two species to pursue different goals. They formed an ancient bargain to rule different aspects of the world. Fire and air represent the dragons’ realm, freedom— and water and earth represent the humans’ realm, ownership. But some humans learned magic and broke that covenant, binding everything to its true name. This established a form of freedom— immortality via one’s name. The afterlife is a result of that; it shouldn’t exist, which is why it feels wrong. Everything links back to the desire for immortality without change as introduced in The Farthest Shore. On a meta level it’s weird that none of this came up in that book; the explanation that dragons suddenly remembered this great wrong is a little retcon-y. But I understand Le Guin probably never intended to expand on these ideas, and it’s nice to see the contradiction of Earthsea’s afterlife resolved in the end. I went into this book expecting the titular “other wind” to be the other side of Earthsea, not another plane of existence; and I think that surprise is pretty cool! I like the metaphysical aspect of this other realm and how it connects to the  dragons. 

Even though I didn’t love the book, I do think it works as a series conclusion more than Tehanu did. Tehanu drops such a huge, unresolved bombshell in its ending that I’m surprised Le Guin intended it to be the final book of the series. The Other Wind does create some open-ended mysteries, but they’re the kind that don’t need a resolution. 

Despite that, I find myself wondering if this book was necessary. The Other Wind ties together some threads, but I wasn’t a fan of the execution overall. If the dragon and afterlife plot was a heavier focus, maybe I’d like the book more. Instead there’s a bunch of filler and extraneous detail. The book feels forced, like a novella stretched into a full novel— yet also like something’s missing. Perhaps The Other Wind works better on a reread, but I’m inclined to skip it in the future.