#to emailing/calling the hotline daily | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aceyanaheim · 2 months ago

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Free Resources for Survivors

Free Therapy in South Florida: ● Survivor’s Pathway Offers Individual and Group Therapy 33 SW 2nd Ave #901, Miami, FL 33130 (786) 275-4364 [email protected] ● Trauma Resolution Center Offers Individual and Group Therapy 2650 SW 27th Ave. Suite 200, Miami, FL 33133 (305) 374-9990 [email protected] ● SunServe Offers Individual and Group Therapy 2312 Wilton Dr, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 (954) 764-5150 [email protected]

9MusesArtCenter: Depression support group and therapeutic art classes ( located in Lauderhill)

Free Apps for Phones: “RAINN” - Gives survivors of sexual violence and their loved ones access to support, self-care tools, and information to help manage short term and long term effects of sexual violence.

“MyPlan Safety App” - myPlan can help you see things more clearly about a current relationship you are in, make decisions about safety, and find resources.

“Calm” - For guided meditations, sleep stories, music, and more

“What’s Up? A Mental Health App” - Utilizes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance Commitment Therapy methods to help you cope with depression, anxiety, anger, and stress.

“I am - Daily Affirmations” - Provides daily affirmations to build self esteem and change negative thought patterns.

“MindShift CBT - Anxiety Relief” - An anxiety management app using scientifically proven strategies based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (Must be 18+)

“PTSD Coach” - An app designed for people who have or may have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

“BellyBio Interactive Breathing” - A biofeedback app that monitors your breathing when you rest your device on your belly to help you breathe deeply.

“Bearable - Symptom Tracker” - Helps you keep track your symptoms associated with your health.

Free Hotlines: General: Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860 Trans Lifeline is a trans-led organization that connects trans people to the community, support, and resources they need to survive and thrive. The General Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) National Hotline: (888) 843-4564 Provide telephone, online private one-to-one chat and email peer-support, as well as factual information and local resources for cities and towns across the United States. National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 To get crisis/suicide support. Available 24/7 anywhere in the United States. Crisis Text Line:

Text START to 741-741 Crisis Text Line is free, 24/7 support for those in crisis. Text from anywhere in the USA to text with a trained Crisis Counselor. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline Hotline: 1 (800) 950-6264 Email: [email protected] Available Monday through Friday, 10:00am to 6:00pm Eastern Standard Time. The NAMI Helpline assists individuals and families who have questions about mental health disorders, treatment, and support services. U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233 (English and Spanish) (800) 787-3224 (TTY) They also have an online chat feature available. Operating around the clock, seven days a week, confidential and free of cost, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides life saving tools and immediate support to enable victims to find safety and live lives free of abuse. Highly trained, experienced advocates offer compassionate support, crisis intervention information and referral services in over 170 languages. Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN): (800) 656-HOPE (800) 810-7440 (TTY) The nation’s largest organization fighting sexual violence, RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline 1-800-662-HELP (4357) A confidential, free, 24/7 information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides

referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. Domestic violence, sexual assault, and sex trafficking (916) 920-2952 Get 24/7 support and information from WEAVE, for survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and sex trafficking. National Human Trafficking Hotline 1-888-373-7888 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in more than 200 languages. All calls are confidential and answered live by highly trained Anti-Trafficking Hotline Advocates. Fenway Health Helpline LGBT Helpline (25+) 1-617-267-9001 Toll-free: 1-888-340-4528 Monday – Saturday 6 p.m. – 11 p.m. ET Fenway Health provides information, help, and referrals to LGBT callers. They also have a peer listening line. For Youth: National Runaway Safeline Hotline: 1 (800) 786 – 2929 Email: [email protected] Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone, email, forum, and online chat. The National Runaway Safeline provides crisis and support services for homeless and runaway youth in the United States. National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC)

Hotline: 1 (800) 843 – 5678 Cyber Tipline: http://www.missingkids.com/gethelpnow/cybertipline NCMEC serves as a clearinghouse and comprehensive reporting center for all issues related to the prevention of and recovery from child victimization. ChildHelp National Child Abuse Hotline Hotline: 1 (800) 422 – 4453 Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and text. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. Serving the U.S. and Canada, the hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who—through interpreters—provide assistance in over 170 languages. The hotline offers crisis intervention, information, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are confidential. Boystown USA – Your Life Your Voice Helpline Hotline: 1 (800) 448 – 3000 Text: Text VOICE to 20121 (hours vary) Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone, email, text, and online chat. Your Life Your Voice is a program of Boystown USA and is available to children, parents, and families who are struggling with self-harm, mental health disorders, and abuse. The Trevor Project: (866) 488-7386 Text START to 678-678 The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) young people ages 13-24. Love is Respect – National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline Hotline: 1 (866) 331 – 9474 Text: 22522

Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone, text, and online chat. Love is Respect offers information, support, and advocacy to young people who have questions or concerns about their dating relationships. Fenway Health Helpline Peer Listening Line (25 and under) 1-617-267-2535 Toll-free: 1-800-399-PEER Monday – Saturday 5:30 p.m. – 10 p.m. ET Fenway Health provides information, help, and referrals to LGBT callers. They also have a peer listening line. The GLBT National Youth Talkline (youth serving youth through age 25): (800) 246-7743 Provide telephone, online private one-to-one chat and email peer-support, as well as factual information and local resources for cities and towns across the United States. Others: SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline 1-877-360-LGBT (5428) Talk and be heard at the SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline. Connects LGBT older people with friendly responders. For LGBT elders and caretakers. Confidential support and crisis response, available 24/7. StrongHearts Native Helpline 1 (844) 762 – 8483 Available Monday through Friday, 9:00am to 5:30pm CST via phone. The StrongHearts Native Helpline is a safe, anonymous, and confidential service for Native Americans experiencing domestic violence and dating violence. Pathways to Safety International

Hotline: 1 (833) 723 – 3833 Email: [email protected] Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone, email, and online chat. Pathways to Safety International assists Americans experiencing interpersonal and gender based violence abroad. Womens Law Email hotline: https://hotline.womenslaw.org/ The Womens Law online helpline provides basic legal information, referrals, and emotional support for victims of abuse.

Self Help Books: Use https://libgen.li/ to get these books for free: ● Written on the Body: Letters from Trans and Non-Binary Survivors of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence by Lexie Bean ● It’s My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Sexual Violence by Meg Dugan and Roger R. Hock ● No More Secrets: Violence in Lesbian Relationships by Janice Ristock ● Can't Touch My Soul: A Guide for Lesbian Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Donna Rafanello ● Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them: Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence by David Island ● Dear Sister: Letters from Survivors of Sexual Violence by Lisa Factora-Borchers ● Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs by Faith G. Harper ● Learning Good Consent: On Healthy Relationships and Survivor Support by Cindy Crabb ● The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass, Laura Davis ● What Does Consent Really Mean? by Wallis, Pete Wallis, Joseph Wilkins ● Healing Invisible Wounds: Paths to Hope and Recovery in a Violent World by Richard F. Mollica

● Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, Connie Burk ● I Can't Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors by Aphrodite T. Matsakis ● In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine, Ph.D., Gabor Maté, MD ● The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing by Beverly Engel ● The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself by Beverly Engel, M.F.C.C. ● Healing from Trauma: A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Your Symptoms and Reclaiming Your Life by Jasmin Lee Cori, Robert Scaer, MD ● Dangerous Relationships: How To Identify And Respond To The Seven Warning Signs Of A Troubled Relationship by Noelle C. Nelson ● I Will Survive: The African-American Guide to Healing from Sexual Assault and Abuse by Lori S. Robinson, Julia A. Boyd ● Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma by Staci Haines ● The Rape Recovery Handbook: Step-By-Step Help for Survivors of Sexual Assault by Aphrodite T. Matsakis ● No Secrets No Lies: How Black Families Can Heal from Sexual Abuse by Robin Stone ● Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse: Practical Self-help For Adults Who Were Sexually Abused As Children by Carolyn Ainscough, Kay Toon ● Even From A Broken Web: Brief, Respectful Solution-Oriented Therapy for Sexual Abuse and Trauma by Bob Bertolino, Ph. D., Bill O'Hanlon ● Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft ● Getting Free: You Can End Abuse and Take Back Your Life by Ginny NiCarthy ● The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. ● Psychological First Aid for People with Intellectual Disabilities Who Have Experienced Sexual Abuse: A Step-By-Step Programme by Aafke Scharloo, Simone Ebbers-Mennink, Martine Spijker-Van Spijker-Van Vuren ● Mejor sola que mal acompanada: For the Latina in an Abusive Relationship/Para la mujer golpeada by Myrna M. Zambrano Free Parks in South Florida: Broward: https://www.broward.org/Parks/Pages/default.aspx

Miami-Dade: https://www.miamidade.gov/global/recreation/park-directory.page Free Yoga Classes: ● Miami Beach near the 3rd Street lifeguard tower ○ Everyday at 7 a.m., or at 5 p.m. during fall and winter (6 p.m. in spring and summer)

● Jose Marti in Little Havana ○ Tuesdays at 6 p.m. ● The Underline’s Brickell Backyard Sound Stage Plaza. ○ Every Saturday morning at 9 a.m. ● Peacock Park ○ Every Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. ● Little Haiti Cultural Complex ○ Thursdays at 6 p.m. and Saturdays at noon ● Om & Vine ○ First Saturday of every month at 11 a.m. ● West Dade Regional Library ○ Tuesdays, find yoga for kids at 6:30 p.m., followed by hatha yoga for adults at 7 p.m.

● Maurice A. Ferré Park (formerly known as Museum Park) ○ Tuesdays at 6 p.m., Wednesdays and Fridays at 6:20 a.m. and 6 p.m., Saturdays at 9 a.m. and Sundays at 9:30 a.m.

● North Shore Park Bandshell ○ Mondays and Wednesdays at 6 p.m.

Free Meditation Classes ● Leaves & Roots Lounge - Kava Bar & Vegan Cafe - Guided Meditation and Sound Healing ○ In person every last Sunday of every month at 9am ○ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/leaves-roots-morning-meditation-and-sound- healing-tickets-658044397507?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

● Soul Dimension ○ Online every Wednesday at 1 PM ○ https://souldimension.org/breathe/

● Congregation for Sacred Practices ○ Online every Wednesday at 12 PM ○ https://www.eventbrite.com/cc/weekly-meditations-2318129 ● Brahma Kumaris ○ In person every Friday 7-8:30 PM ○ Coral Gables (LeJeune and 4th St SW) ○ https://miamibrahmakumaris.org/calendar/ ● Oneness Meditation Center North Miami Beach ○ In person every Wednesday from 6-8 PM ● Free Meditation North America ○ Online Saturdays from 9:45 PM-10:45 PM and Sundays from 9:45 AM to 11:00 AM ○ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/miami-meditation-for-peace-health-and- spiritual-growth-tickets-143153021541?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

● Stacey Freeman Sound Therapy New Moon Meditation ○ Every New Moon at 1 or 2 PM ○ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sound-therapy-new-moon-meditation-miami- fl-tickets-562592718967?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

Free Reiki Classes ● Rev Julia Raether ○ Online every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the Month at 7 PM ○ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/free-virtual-reiki-circle-tickets- 651179504427?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

● Oasira Initiative - Midnight Reiki ○ Online every Saturday at midnight ○ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/midnight-reiki-weekly-complimentary- session-tickets-712618038737?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

Places of Worship

● Coral Gables Congregational UCC ● Wag Buddharangsi Buddhist Temple ● Sunshine Cathedral ● United Church of Christ Fort Lauderdale

Misc:

Safety Planning

For mental health crisis:

Safety Planning for domestic violence ( from a partner, platonic person, friend parent or room mate while it centers romantic relationships it is not the only thing ive used it for ) : https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/

EVA’S CASITA

Website: https://peersupportspace.org/respite Location: Orlando, FL Phone: 407-968-1288 Interest Form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeQIYttup8ffLvL3TcgC_LqG5P2hDcbcR-KU1Vc_mTuT0oT0w/viewform

Our LGBTQ+ led peer respite (welcoming all communities 18+, centering those not usually centered) is the first in Central Florida, the only of its kind in Florida, and the first intentionally focused on underserved communities in the nation. This is a space to take a no-cost, non-clinical break for 1 to 6 nights with voluntary self-driven, group, or 1:1 opportunities to connect with others navigating big feels or life struggles.

#transgender #mental health #self harm #suicide #resources #ill get more on a doc when im...at some point #i only kno florida #south florida #safety planning #the plan is to look at more states but also keep myself being a person so its...ill work on it

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atomograd · 1 year ago

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r/maine Moderator Thread about the Lewiston Shooting.

From the comments:

"State Police Tip phone numbers and hotlines (207) 509-9002 (and) (207) 213-9526"

"Police are looking for a Blue Chevy Suburban with Maine plate 6625ZD."

"Live developments on Youtube from News Center Maine here.

Information from the original press release and Reddit thread below the cut. Please refer to the updated reblog of this post with victims' fundraisers and more information.

Current Information

10:30 AM Press Release Update

18 people's lives were lost and 13 people were injured in the attack. There are no reports about the victim's identities yet.

Lewiston, Lisbon, Bowdoin continue to follow a shelter in place order.

Mr. Robert Card is considered armed and dangerous, do NOT approach.

If you see anything suspicious, call 911.

You can call 988 for free and confidential counseling.

Information as of 2:00 AM

The next scheduled time for a press release from the Maine State Police is 10:30 AM at Lewinston City Hall.

The shooter has not yet been identified with certainty. However, a person of interest was identified as Robert Card. He is not considered a suspect as of yet. He is considered armed and dangerous and will be brought in for questioning. Do not approach him.

Portland Tactical Team is now on the ground in Lisbon Falls.

Officials have stated they are currently only looking for a single shooter.

A vehicle of interest has been spotted about 8 miles from Lewiston.

At least 16 people have been killed, but counts were reported as high as 22. 50+ people have been injured. It has not yet been reported who the victims are.

Officials have stated they will not announce specific numbers tonight.

The shootings took place at a bowling alley and at Schemengees Bar & Grille Restaurant.

All municipal buildings will be closed on Thursday, and all events cancelled. Many schools will be closed on Thursday as well. All affected individuals will receive a text or email from their school by tomorrow morning.

A reunification centre was set up at Auburn Middle School.

Lewiston is currently under a shelter-in-place order. If you are in Lewiston, please follow all recommended guidelines and stay inside.

Maine State Police

From the Maine State Police, posted Midnight to their Facebook and Twitter.

"Caution to the public.

A shooting incident with multiple casualties has occurred in multiple locations in Lewiston. Police are currently searching for Robert R. Card (04/04/83) of Bowdoin. Card is considered armed and dangerous. If seen people should not approach Card or make contact with him.

The shelter in place order stands in Lewiston. A vehicle of interest was located in Lisbon and we are now also asking residents in Lisbon to shelter in place as law enforcement works in that area to locate Card. We ask anyone who sees anything suspicious to call 911.

For people who have questions about loved ones a reunification centre has been set up at Auburn Middle School which is located at 38 Falcon Drive in Auburn."

Other official/major news sources

Maine State Police: official Facebook, official Twitter

Governor Janet Mills statement: via Facebook

Press-Herald live story: link

Bangor Daily News live story: link

News Center Maine live story: link

The Lewiston Sun Journal: link

Credit to u/daxelkurtz for this information.

Other Information

u/WhatT0Do12 was so kind to provide their post about what comes next after trauma: link

Live scanner in the area: link

Please consider donating blood at the Red Cross tomorrow or when it's safe: link

Please use this thread to respectfully discuss the shooting and remember the victims. Keep the rules in mind and be respectful.

Last updated 10:45"*

* 10:45 AM, EST, October 26, 2023.

#lewiston maine #maine #active shooter #robert card #as said in tags on a previous post i am less than ten hours away. i'm trying to keep in touch with lewiston locals and get in contact with #other people here where i am. please be aware of this man.#please spread this around if you can

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radfemforwomensrights · 8 months ago

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I think this is went a lot of terf-haters don’t realize. Disagreement on truth, even ones that are essential to me, doesn’t mean there has to be hate.

I agree with you in every word. 💕

Story time! (Long post. Colored for ease) You can scan colored and bold text for the gist.

~~~~

My autistic little sister befriended a transgirl in 7th grade. We didn’t care that she was trans, my sister made a friend! We opened the doors to our house and would drive them out for frozen yogurt.

The friend asked my sis to learn about transgenderism online and search for her own place in the lgbtqia+. (This was a couple years pre-covid) Sent her a link to a queer discord group.

My sister did this… and ended up being sexually groomed by predators in that group.

They acclimated her to the point of watching human (female duh)-sacrifice porn. They taught her misogyny and made her uncomfortable with being female. They had her video herself experimenting in the school bathroom so they could tell her if she was trans. They needed more to be sure… then yep! She was trans. Oh, and an age-regressive little.

They groomed her against us (We would hate her!… like we hated her friend???) and convinced her she was abused. She needed to run away so they could protect her and even help her find the trans-supportive daddy-dom caretaker she needed.

This all happened during her library IEP study hall. The librarians loved that she was researching lgbtq and gave her lots of privacy on school computers to do so. (Progressive Oregon) Phone videos + pics were deleted after being sent.

Then summer came, we found out when she left discord up. It was soooo filthy.

When we managed to convince her they were predators she had daily panic attacks. But we hoped she would stop trying to run to them. Instead… she ran to her friend.

Her friend and her brother were raised genderless and both chose to be trans. My sis told me later that both the afab sibling and dad were violently abusive. It was hinted that the afab sibling felt unsafe and hoped she would be respected more as a male. My sister’s friend admitted she was scared of her “brother” (who copied dad’s “masculinity”) and didn’t want to be like that… A boy, violent, like her dad, like males in her life.

When my sister arrived she asked to be hidden there and live with them (groomed to think she was abused, affirmed by tras who didn’t question) they put her on a queer hotline and called CPS.

With my sister missing and bike gone, my mom drove to see if she was on the way to her friend. She found the bike and police at the door.

The rest put short, we were guilty at the start in CPS eyes (trans kid crying abuse from unaccepting parents?). We gave them the police report number for her child-predator case. (The police freaking lost the file! We had a whole ring set up for the perfect sting!) With that and deep searching CPS had nothing they could report (since nothing existed). We hunkered down for Covid then moved states to give my sis a fresh start. (Felt unsafe as preds knew our address)

My sis went on as nonbinary (which her red-state school hid. As if we didn’t know 🙄). Hormones could wait till 18 and being sure.

She told me to use female pronouns for her, it felt loving and safe when from me. The first year she planned to use go fund me to get her boobs chopped and run away to couch surf the queer community. All her friends were queer… before they told her they didn’t want her. That was an eye-opener. She had been love-boomed by the community and preds online and assumed the queer community was a selfless utopia. That awakening allowed her to break from the group think conditioning.

Then, she got an email. Her trans friend from home wrote a suicide note. She had become an alcoholic, hated her life, and had made her choice.

911 HAS NEVER BEEN CALLED SO FAST.

My mom held the phone while I comforted my sister. The police said we saved her life.

Today, my sister no longer identifies as trans. She told me she would have stopped earlier, that she only kept it due to sexist stereotypes. She didn’t want to be perceived by them. She’s researched the hormones and told me the thought of being on them frightens her now. HRT had been the equivalent of an antidepressant with a cosmetic effect in her mind.

The predators and trans-community (online and off) (both schools knew she was sexually groomed but affirmed) who convinced and pushed her to be trans almost got my sister trafficked.

They convinced her she neeeded transition. We were hateful for not talking drastic measures after she was groomed and traumatized.

My sister cried abuse, they jumped- ‘how much?’ “Run!” “They’re evil!” “Use suicide threats!” CPS had to explain that basic chores, boundaries on running away, and disagreement on transgender beliefs doesn’t count as abuse.

Thank goodness this was before the Oregon trans laws kicked in! She would have been taken, have her location hidden from us, be put on hormones, and had her boobs chopped. We’d have no idea if she was alive or had joined the Portland homeless community. She’s so much happier now. Panic attacks are gone. She’s thriving with a new friend at a school tailored to neurodivergence. (Missing school in covid was rough) She’s such a freakin snuggle-bug, especially with mom and I again. 💕 She laughs freely again.

No, I don’t hate trans people. That would have been my sister if it happened just a couple years later. I don’t hate the trans girl that fueled my sister’s desire to transition as she talked to pedos.

I don’t want any trans individual to be killed or die of suicide.

When I look at you I see my sister. Someone hurting for various reasons.

I want you to be safe. I want you to find happiness.

I want doctors to give you the uncensored science so you can give full consent. I want the science to progress so we know the full effects, create safer treatment.

But I see the predators too. The ones that prey on and use the trans community. Self-ID means no anti-predator protections for the community, children, and all females. I see trans and detransitioners alike suffering medical harm. And watch the trans community turn and scorn their own who detransitioned. The love you are given is conditional upon you repeating what they want. Say any wrong thought and face the death threats of being a terf.

A trans life does not become an acceptable casualty when they find the medicine or transition was poison to them. Or say the wrong thing.

We don’t green light undertested medical experimentation to the public, advertising them as completely safe, then shame scientific but undesired statistics and results as falsehoods. That’s not science.

When you care for a group, you don’t gaslight them. “Puberty blockers are completely reversible” not going to mention the depression and suicidality warning given to early puberty girls? “HRT has no negative side effects” “okay, not toooo many.” “Detransition is extremely rare”… as long as you don’t count them all?

I’m for unbiased science. I’m anti-affirm any gender distress or concern . (‘All kids should be taught to question gender.’ ‘But remember, if you question gender, only trans people do that!’)

Sexism teaches girls to hate being girls, then we tell them that it means they are trans or nb? Here’s your experimental hormones? Puberty was never needed for brain development, it’s developmentally irrelevant if you want to skip it. Gender distress and female self-hate is part of why we hated sexism. We were taught to ignore gender stereotypes, not look at them as a measure of belonging.

And for straight cis white boys? You are to blame for racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, aaaand colonization and genocide of native americans. You’re privileged and inescapably at fault as part of an oppressive class. Oh, you’ve internalized white manhood as bad? Don’t want to be male anymore? You’re a girl! Here’s your hormones!

Estrogen dominance in men is medically harmful and causes depression and volatile mood swings. But NOT in biological men who feeeel like girls. Biology doesn’t factor into health for them.

Oh and having high testosterone in women causes PCOS-like symptoms, early menopause, and increases anxiety and mood swings? Even when that’s 10x less than male levels? Eehhh not for biological females who feeeel different than other girls.

The extreme denial of science and polarized hate is harmful to all. We need nuance. We need rational two-way conversation. We need to treat people’s health with caution and not blind ideological affirmation. For the sake of trans kids.

You want trans kids treated well and accepted, that doesn’t make lying to them and the public ethical. How many of these kids don’t understand what they are getting into? Why would you silence the coal mine canaries instead of using them to inform risk? Why wouldn’t you look into rational safeguarding and transparent unbiased research?

I’m tired and my heart hurts.

Standing up for your rights and safety is not disrespectful.

If a person identifies as trans, that honestly has nothing to do with me. I don’t think it’s truly possible, I think the ideology does more harm than good, and I think there are better ways to cope with gender dysphoria; however, it’s a free country and no matter how much I dislike it sometimes, people can and should be able to express themselves however they want.

I won’t tell a trans person how to live their life. I won’t argue with them about their own feelings and identity no matter how strongly I feel. That would be disrespectful.

Standing up for my rights and integrity as a woman ISN’T disrespectful, though.

To better articulate what I’m trying to say, I will list some examples:

Not letting a trans kid sit at the same lunch table as you and your friends just because they’re trans is mean. Asking a trans person to change in the locker room that corresponds to their biological sex is not mean. That is standing up for your right to a single-sex space.

Denying a transgender person service at an establishment because they are trans is wrong. That’s discrimination. Not permitting a transgender athlete to compete in the sports league/team that doesn’t correlate with their biological sex is not discrimination, though. That is simply reinforcing fairness, safety, and the integrity of said sports league/team.

A homeless shelter denying help to a transgender person because they’re transgender is cruel. A single sex shelter denying access to someone of the opposite sex and directing them towards a place that can help them isn’t cruel. That’s just protecting the inhabitants of said single sex shelter.

Bullying and harassing a transgender person is always condemnable. Expressing how you feel about a situation that affects you and makes you uncomfortable and saying things that are scientifically accurate is justified.

As humans, we all need to treat each other with kindness, but that does not mean that we need to let people walk over us and invalidate our rights and feelings.

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large-penises-sporting-goods · 4 months ago

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Fun part of retail!

A couple of my coworkers handed me some paper coupons for the store we work at. The reason being that, depending on how much one spends, the coupons in question can be better than our employee discount. Manager Jane often uses these in lieu of her employee discount, so me and a couple other coworkers collect them for her (we are required to collect them after a customer uses them, so that's where we get them). So I was in charge of giving the collection to her, since I'm working with her tomorrow. But that's not the fun part, that's just unnecessarily specific context.

Today, I had a fun Kindness Power Move to pull. A few customers asked me about coupons, and if they weren't quite going to spend the minimum to use the daily digital coupon, and if they were nice enough, I'd ask them to step into the security cameras blind spot and then give them a coupon from my pocket. I believe this is considered chaotic good.

Disappointing part of retail!

When I did my chaotic good coupon blessing for one guy, I'm pretty sure he fell in love with me on the spot. It got a little uncomfortable after that. He insisted on emailing me an access code for a book he's writing???? I wasn't quite listening but it was something like that. I gave him my email that I use specifically to sign up for things I don't care about 💀 I then did what I always do when someone seems quite taken with me: I gave him the customer service hotline and gave my spiel about how that's where to direct any positive comments because that's how they get recorded officially so we can be considered for raises and whatnot. He called them before leaving the store??? They didn't pick up because it was after hours, and he said it didn't let him leave a voicemail; when I couldn't find an email address on the company website he said "I'm going overseas tomorrow, but I'll call first thing when i land." I was like "aw no you don't have to do that! I know international calls can get costly" he was like "no I insist" i was in my head like, I'd better get a service pin for my lanyard as a result of his call because if I had to sit through this guys simping I'd like something to show for it. As he was leaving he told sales guy Tyler (who had overheard some of what went on and came up to be my bodyguard) "you guys are really lucky to have Beth" I mean yeah but dude chill

Like on one hand it's flattering, on the other hand I get nervous about stuff like that since, being autistic, I can't always intuit/see subtext on whether someone is just very outgoing/friendly/whatever or if they're at risk of crossing the line with me. Like maybe this guy just talks like that and wants to get readers for his book. But maybe he'll come back to the store and harass me because he thinks he can demand my attention. Sigh

#retail #beth's retail stories tag #just retail things #retail hell #customer service #customers

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wardah-relationship-marketing · 9 months ago

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Comparing real companies’ marketing orientation

A product-oriented company is one that focuses on continuously innovating their product in order to draw in customers. A good example of a product-oriented company is Dyson, a household appliance organization. Rather than consider the customer before creating a product, Dyson designed products such as the wireless vacuum and the sleek looking hair dryer that enticed consumers to buy their products. According to their website, Dyson has a customer service hotline that is available for 8 hours and 30 minutes from Monday to Saturday, a Whatsapp number customers can use to chat, and an email address.

A sales-oriented company makes selling their products their top priority. Normally, companies would want to sell a product either through innovation or by consumer demands, but a sales-oriented company isn’t interested in that. These companies aren’t dependent on their product or on consumer satisfaction. They mostly focus on convincing consumers to buy their product. An example of a sales-oriented company would be Acibadem Insurance, an insurance company based in Turkey. While many well-known insurance companies these days put more effort into retaining their customers and improving their customer service, sales are still the lifeblood of the company. Acibadem Insurance brokers will continue to send messages to a potential customer until they either made the sale, or the customer continuously ignores them.

A customer-oriented company heavily focuses on their customers’ wants and needs because they believe it’s linked to company success. Companies that follow this concept more often than not have great customer retention, and highly rated customer service. An example of a customer-oriented company is Nike, the sports apparel brand. Nike tries to appeal to customers and noncustomers alike with their famous ads, using celebrities and popular athletes to draw them in. Nike also has membership benefits, such as free delivery, member rewards, and member products that can appeal to their customers’ wants. The membership also allows members to customize their shoes, which can incentivize customer loyalty. Additionally, Nike stores offer treadmills in some of their locations so the customers can test their shoes out before purchase, which can really assist customers in decision-making. The company also has a robust social media presence, having over 300 social media profiles across popular social media sites (Dereń, 2023).

A production-oriented company outs much of their focus on producing their products in a cheap and quick fashion. Companies that follow this orientation believe that demand is followed by supply, meaning that they mass produce their products and price them at a low cost, which can rope in customers. Innovation and customer satisfaction aren’t as important to these companies, rather, they create products that are used daily and make sure that production costs aren’t high. An example of a production-oriented company is Burger King, a fast food company. Burger King may have interesting ads that showcase their burgers, but there isn’t much of a variety in choice. Their products also have a low cost, an example being their dollar menu. Their products are also made in a timely, albeit sometimes rushed, manner, and can sometimes look undesirable to the customer. While they may lack variety, Burger King has some unique ways to reach out to consumers. The company recently started a contest called the Million Dollar Whopper Contest, which asked consumers what they would put on a whopper for a chance to get 1 million dollars. This contest could generate engagement with the brand among customers and noncustomers alike. Burger King also has an app that can gift customers coupons on their birthdays, which can entice customers to buy more from the company, and possibly even strengthen customer loyalty.

Sources:

Dereń, K. (2023) How Effective is Nike’s Social Media Strategy?, brand24. Available at: https://brand24.com/blog/nike-social-media-strategy/ (Accessed: 2024).

N/A, N. (2024) Nike Membership. Available at: https://www.nike.com/membership (Accessed: 2024).

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emergentcounseling · 9 months ago

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Suicide is Not For Cowards!

Last week was National Suicide Prevention Week, and it hit me hard, especially when I was reminded that suicide is the third leading cause of death among children and young adults from ages 10 to 24. I thought about all the people I knew who died by suicide, and even though I didn’t know all of them personally, my heart ached for them and their loved ones. Last week alone, I had four individuals tell me they no longer wanted to live. The belief that courage is unwavering is a lie. Courage is wavering; it requires maintenance and hard work. I often hear others say that individuals who die by suicide are cowards, and I used to get annoyed by such comments; now, I take pride in helping such individuals to examine their perspective about suicide.

So many of us stay silent because we know we would be judged and stigmatized by some of the very people who claim to love us if we shared that our daily existence was a fight to stay alive. Yes, life can get hopeless, overwhelming, and traumatic. I too have been in that place where memories of past trauma and life felt overwhelming. The pain was unbearable, and hope seemed like an unlikely miracle. The best, most rational option at that time was to end the suffering by suicide. I commend those who have never considered suicide as an option, and I beg you, please do not judge, for so many fight day by day, minute by minute to stay afloat.

So many do not have the strength, resources or support needed to help them through the pain. Even with the support, it is still difficult to cope. To those who are strong and have never harbored the thought of death by suicide, treat the rest of us how we want to be treated, without judgment, with respect, without stigma, and with kindness.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please, get help! See a therapist, call now, or contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline-1-800-273-8255!

About Us

We offer individual, family, couples and group counseling.

Our Vision is to normalize trauma, anxiety, depression, PTSD and other mental health disorders as the body’s way of communicating distress, and help our clients heal by teaching them how to tap into their bodies organic intelligence."

Our Services

At Emergent Counseling & Consulting LLC, services are person-centered, culturally sensitive, stigma-free, holistic and strengths-based.

Our services are tailored to meet your needs and help you develop the skills needed to get rid of anxiety and depression, and enhance your quality of life. Our methods are non-invasive, short-term evidenced-based techniques such as Brainspotting, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT Tapping), which simple and focused on reducing the intensity of distress associated with anxiety and depression.

Call : 954 533 4828

Email : [email protected]

Home - Emergent Counseling and Consulting

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Emergent Counseling & Consulting, LLC

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tanlakarix · 1 year ago

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What Not to Do On The WhatsApp Business Platform

The WhatsApp Business Platform has been a game-changer for businesses worldwide. The ability to tap into WhatsApp’s potential audience of over 2 billion people, most of whom use the app daily, has opened a whole new universe of possibilities for brands who want to reach out and engage their customers, offer real-time support, and sell products and services.

But while getting a WhatsApp business account for your business might be a straightforward process, the dynamics of succeeding on the platform require a lot of planning and attention to detail.

Today, we will talk about some of the most common pitfalls of using WhatsApp for your business. As you will come to see, offering a great customer experience over WhatsApp is often a question of what NOT to do.

What not to do on the WhatsApp Business Platform

1. Don’t spam people

This is the prime directive of WhatsApp Quality Based Marketing – do not send people information or offers they don’t need or didn’t ask for. If they initiate a conversation with you, you can use the 24-hour conversation window to share any relevant offers, or promotional content or cross-sell something they may be interested in.

WhatsApp’s Quality-Based Marketing guidelines clearly state that it is a good practice to make users go through an unambiguous opt-in process where they explicitly agree to receive marketing communication from your business.

If you start sending unsolicited WhatsApp promotional messages en masse, you will most likely get marked as spam by a significant portion of your potential audience. This will reduce the quality score of your account, leading to issues with the deliverability of your messages and in some cases, getting your account banned altogether. Make sure you also use your WhatsApp channel to send important notifications, and updates and initiate conversations with your customers to provide some actual value.

You should also have a clear way for people to opt out of some or all messaging from your business and honor opt-out requests when you receive them.

2. Don’t set the wrong expectations

While the option to reach your business over WhatsApp is a great value-add for your customers, make sure that you communicate clearly what your WhatsApp channel is going to be used for.

Are you going to use the channel as a 24/7 hotline? Can customers expect to receive any special coupon codes or discounts over WhatsApp? Can customers find and buy products you are selling over a chat conversation? Can customers call your WhatsApp number if they have any support queries? Will they occasionally receive promotional offers from you if they opt-in?

Map out your use cases beforehand and make sure you don’t overpromise and underdeliver.

3. Promote gambling, drugs, adult, or other restricted products

WhatsApp has strict content guidelines that are aimed at making the overall experience of using the app better for all its users. One of the main ways this is enforced is by disallowing certain business verticals from using the WhatsApp Business platform.

Verticals that are prohibited include.

Adult content

Alcohol products

Tobacco and its derivatives

Dating or relationship offers

Animal sales

Any type of weapons/ammo or defense-related content

4. Don’t send too many emojis

Emojis are like hot sauce – they are best used in moderation and only when they enhance the impact of the message you want to send out.

Using the odd emoji to convey a tone (happy/excited) or underscore a call to action (e.g., call/email emojis) is fine. Just make sure you don’t go overboard. Our rule of thumb recommendation would be to use 4 or fewer emojis if possible.

5. Don’t make spelling and grammatical mistakes

Let’s say you were reading the brochure for a financial advisory business, but the whole text was formatted weirdly. Or maybe you receive a free-form message from the business that wants you to entrust them with your finances, but every paragraph is filled with glaring spelling mistakes. Would the grammatical snafus make you more likely to sign on as a customer of the said business? Probably not.

Bad grammar and spelling can get your message templates rejected by WhatsApp outright. But even if they aren’t, it will hurt your chances of being taken seriously by the people you reach out to.

Make sure you double and triple-check for any grammatical issues before you send out any messages to your customers.

6. Don’t make it unclear what the user needs to do next after reading your message

So, let’s say you have crafted the perfect promotional message that both represents an emotion you’re going for and aligns with your brand voice. However, if you don’t include a clear call-to-action (or include too many) you are going to dramatically reduce your chances of conversion.

Do you want your users to call you after they read the message? Is there a PDF you would like them to download? Should they visit a certain page on your website? Let them know.

Always include a clear call-to-action at the end of your messages when appropriate and include Quick Reply buttons to enhance the overall customer experience.

7. Don’t misuse user data

As we have established, you need to comply with WhatsApp guidelines and other regulations that may apply according to the law of the land when collecting user data such as phone numbers, addresses, behavioral data, etc. Don’t ask people to share other sensitive information such as account numbers, social security information, or card details.

Make sure the only time you use this data is when you are providing contextual support to them within the context of your WhatsApp conversation. You are not allowed to share information that one customer may have divulged to you with a different customer you are chatting with.

The WhatsApp Business Platform is meant to drive higher-quality conversations between businesses and their customers. By steering clear of the mistakes, we have outlined above, you will automatically set yourself way ahead of most of your peers.

If you would like to improve your WhatsApp marketing even further and learn some more insider tips, make sure you bookmark the Karix blog and read through the other detailed articles we have on this topic!

For More Info:

#WhatsApp API #whatsapp api services #whatsapp api provider #whatsapp api platform #whatsapp business api service provider in india #whatsapp business api india #whatsapp api messaging

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wiltedsunrise · 1 year ago

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sobbing… this is. literally nightmare situation JGKDH the more i like. think abt it. i think i fully checked out during one last phone call hgkdh bc like yeah the resulting reactions were very ooc for me personally 💔 and like during this one call they called me griffin and that made me sooooo so uncomfortable so. knowing i was fixated on anger i could probably say that was david and it was like. before id fuuuully lost contact w the system

bc that i genuinely did!! id had no idea!!!

anyways that call was like hgkdh aaaaaaaaaa

theyd needed a sudden like st loa bc of an unnamed family emergency. right when Hell House OCD Nightmare Apartment piqued. in trauma. we hadnt met in two weeks and i know david at that point was the only one capable of like fronting and had been for weeks due to The aunt and uncle situation. and so he like weathered new job hell job and then Hell House. and gradually used emails more bc i secretly cofronted during his one (1) session w grant and he was like. entirely unhelpful hkghd gave just enough of a reply to not require additional prodding but nothing that would facilitate like actual therapeutic progress. anyways he I Guess felt at that point more comfortable emailing. bc grant and i had long since established that i could keep a therapeutic diary via email and they did not have to read it but they could not respond.

so i later looked back and reviewed my send folder and saw 💔 he. very very graphically described The Bug Trauma. and grant also has ocd so like yeah i was instantly worried id caused that family emergency. denied it real real hard!!!! eventually talked myself out of it.

then they. finally. said theyd call me on monday to schedule our appt. they called at five pm and we were so unwell that wed literally been woken by the call 💔 so we checked in and scheduled a session a week out. an hour later, called back asking to be set up with someone else.

mentioned calling hotlines daily.

and. and i heard them. i heard them. anytime im doing well for too long i suddenly remember those sounds and i. i can never. ever. forget them. i so sincerely just want to talk to them because like good lord shared trauma with your therapist is indeed a nightmare scenario and i really should not know that id triggered them. and they were really quiet so i do not think they knew i could hear but. i could. and i immediately. checked out.

looking back i can tell that finn took over bc they were prominent in chats hgkdh they frequently cofront w david so they both talked to modern path but then finn figured it out bc they saw those clues plus realized grant was real real slow in seeing our request to reschedule. bc emails were triggering. sooooo. they checked out too and then it was just david.

and. well.

more trauma yay!!!!!! good lord.

i feel sosososo bad but. yeah i. i genuinely. i dont know how to move past this without like talking to grant you know hgkhd i point blank should not know this and that call was traumatic hgldh its. man. man.

i should go eat hkghd last night i panicked bc i was fixating on that memory and nicks “ruptured beyond repair” so aaaaa

tomorrow i will.. ask… to not work the next six days with only one day off bc. good lord i genuinely cannot handle that. im hglfh well im getting better at handling this but jlghd ive worked through like. the bulk of it right. now im just left with the core of the trauma which is the hardest to address 💔 but luca the therapist grant recommended and w whom we apparently had a consult. which i do not remember bc again i checked out and was cut off from the system so i remember zero things 💔 well they keep saying i need iop without reading any of my emails which is deeply frustrating bc theyre all really positive you know jgkdh just bc i talk a lot and just bc i have bipolar — MANAGED BIPOLAR at least by me griffin — does not mean i need iop hgkdh they were also like oh i was under the impression u didnt want to work together despite my REPEATEDLY EXPLICITLY ASKING FOR THEIR HELP 💔💔💔 id said u could take ur time reading and replying and then they like

like. dude. hgkdhgldb

they havent responded so i sent a follow up just now and. hgkshlghd mentioned my hearing grant bc. yeah. Yeah. shared trauma 💔💔💔

#t #m #grant

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breenwillifordinjurylaw · 2 years ago

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WHAT IS KENTUCKY ELDER ABUSE LAW?

Breen & Williford, Injury Lawyers regularly assists Kentucky families whose elderly loved ones have been injured by neglect and abuse at nursing homes, retirement homes and other long-term care facilities. Unfortunately, the problem of elder abuse in Kentucky and across the country extends far beyond nursing homes and into our communities and private residences.

The National Council on Aging says 1 in 10 Americans aged 60 and older? have experienced some form of elder abuse. Some estimates say as many as 5 million elders are abused each year. Experts on elder abuse say the crime occurs far more often than it is reported as often as 24 times for every case reported and expect the problem to worsen as our population ages.

At Breen & Williford, we can help you and your family if you suspect an elderly person in Kentucky is being abused. We can help you obtain help for the injured senior citizen, and we may be able to help you obtain compensation to assist with medical bills and other losses, and as remuneration for pain and suffering.

Below we outline what should be done if you suspect someone in Kentucky is being subjected to elder abuse. Knowing what to do and acting promptly could save a life. The Commonwealth of Kentucky has programs for investigating abuse allegations and assisting vulnerable seniors; however, if you suspect an elderly person is in immediate danger of being harmed you should call local law enforcement authorities right away.

WHAT IS KENTUCKY ELDER ABUSE LAW?

Kentucky law addresses the protection of elderly and vulnerable adults in Chapter 209 of the state’s revised statutes.

The KY statutes address the welfare of people who are 18 years old or older who, because of mental or physical dysfunction, are unable to manage their own resources, carry out activities of daily living, or protect themselves from neglect, exploitation, or a hazardous or abusive situation without assistance from others.

Neglect is a situation in which an adult is unable to perform or obtain for himself or herself the goods or services that are necessary to maintain his or her health or welfare (known as self-neglect), or the adult is being purposely deprived of such goods or services by a caretaker.

Exploitation means obtaining or using another adult’s resources, including but not limited to funds, assets or property, by deception, intimidation or similar means, with the intent to deprive the person of those resources.

Abuse is the infliction of injury, sexual abuse, unreasonable confinement, intimidation, or punishment that results in physical pain or injury, including mental injury.

Kentucky law also establishes the availability of services for adults who are unable to take care of themselves, provides anyone in the state the authority to make a confidential criminal complaint if they know of the abuse, neglect or exploitation of an adult in the state, and prescribes criminal penalties for elder abuse.

REPORTING ELDER ABUSE IN KENTUCKY

Under Kentucky law you are required to report any suspicions you have about the potential abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation of an adult who has a physical or mental disability and is unable to protect themselves, such as an elderly person.

Reports of elder abuse are typically made to the Kentucky Cabinet for Health and Family Services through a 24-hour toll-free hotline at 1-877-597-2331. Calls can be made anonymously. Nonemergency reports may also be made through the Kentucky Child / Adult Protective Services Reporting System online, which is essentially email that is only monitored during business hours on weekdays.

HOW DOES KENTUCKY ENFORCE ELDER ABUSE LAWS?

The KY Cabinet for Health and Family Services is to investigate allegations of elder abuse and, depending on the circumstances, may be required to notify the appropriate law enforcement agency. Reporting elder abuse may lead to a criminal investigation, arrest, and prosecution of the abuser, although the primary purpose of Kentucky’s mandatory reporting laws is to get protective services to the person being abused.

Each report of elder abuse is reviewed to determine whether it needs to be investigated and/or whether the object of the complaint requires protective services. All adults are offered protective services and may accept or refuse services.

Adult Protective Services also provides voluntary, general assistance services aimed at helping the adult function at their highest level of self-sufficiency and autonomy and remain in the community. General adult services may be requested on behalf of a vulnerable adult or by the adult who needs assistance.

EMERGENCY ASSISTANCE FOR SENIORS IN LOUISVILLE, KY

The Louisville, KY, Police Department has established the Senior Crime Victims’ Program to assist elderly crime victims (age 60+) who reside in the Metro Louisville/Jefferson County area in cases involving elder abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, financial exploitation and identity theft or fraud. There are two programs:

The Emergency Crisis Response Team provides immediate, short-term emergency shelter and home care services to Metro Louisville seniors who are experiencing abuse, neglect or exploitation as a result of crime (not self-neglect). However, clients must be referred through Adult Protective Services (502-595-4803 in Louisville) or another community-based referral source.

The In-home Emergency Protective Order Service assists in the issuance of Emergency Protective Orders (EPOs) for medically fragile/homebound elderly victims of abuse.

LET OUR TEAM HELP IF YOU SUSPECT ELDER ABUSE

Local authorities and the Commonwealth of Kentucky understand the problem of elder abuse and have established programs to raise awareness, assist the injured and punish perpetrators of crime. However, they do not have programs to make seniors who have been exploited or abused financially whole. Further, state programs are large, bureaucratic and busy, and even information about them online is not easy to find.

Our elder abuse attorneys can help you obtain assistance through state or local authorities and/or community-based services. We can also review what has happened to you or your loved one and determine whether there is a basis of a personal injury claim to recover compensation for economic losses and pain and suffering.

Our dedicated Kentucky elder abuse attorneys have more than 30 years of experience helping families of senior citizens who have been injured or neglected. If you suspect or know that an elderly loved one has been abused or neglected, contact us now for a free, confidential and no-obligation legal consultation. Our legal team will work quickly to stop the abuse and make things right for you and yours.

#autoaccidents #caraccident #caraccidentlawyer #medmal #law #accidents #attorney #wrongful death attorney #injured #auto accident lawyer

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hansolmates · 4 years ago

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cherry contact |🍒

summary: jihoon has access to all versions of you - your credit score, shopping habits, work emails, even your terrible tinder history. pairing; fbi agent!jihoon x civilian!reader (f) genre/warnings; fluff, crack, it’s really just that “your fbi agent” meme that caused everyone 8 years ago to put tape over their webcams, questionable viewing habits for an fbi agent, language, dick talk, mentions of sex, jihoon has feelings and is confused, he is a PINER, tw—sexual harassment w/c; 3.3k a/n; i can’t believe i finished this😭😭 part of meraki’s job collaboration and i’ve been dying to do a svt collab since the dawn of time and finally today’s the day! it’s been a hot moment since i’ve written for jihoon, glad i managed to get those svt writing muscles going! a huge thank you to @merakiiverse and @woozisnoots for putting this together. readers pls definitely check back on the masterlist linked above to see more of the other talented cwc writers and their rendition of the job prompt!

if you like this fic please consider giving it a like n’share!🤓🖥🤓🖥

“Kevin, 32, works at Kodak,” you scroll further to the description, “I love being tied up and need a dominatrix, have swing at home—no.” Swipe right.

“Lisa, 24, works at Infinity Dance Studio,” you definitely are weak for athletic ladies, “My hobbies include cuticle care and online shopping! Looking for a sugar daddy or mommy that can spoil me rotten—definitely can’t afford that kind of relationship.” Swipe right.

“Hansol, 26, works in an art museum,” sounds promising, you love art, “wait, why are all his pictures of him holding fish? Is he inside a fish? Who the heck finds that attractive?” Swipe right.

“Billiam, 31, works in finance. Needs a bratty baby girl who can triangle,” you grimace, “what is with these guys and stating their kinks from the get-go? Gotta take a girl out to dinner first, and the fuck is a triangle?”

You swore off Tinder since the dark ages, also known as senior year of college. However you’re in a particular slump, thirst-trapped between needing some serious dick and a committed relationship. You’d prefer the latter, but after a stressful day at work and the fact that it’s the ass crack o’dawn, you’ll take what you can get.

“Bye Billiam,” you sing-song into your phone, moving to swipe right.

Except you accidentally drop your phone between your sheets, and when you pick it up you accidentally swipe left.

“Fuck fuck fuck me with a fuckin’ fuck nugget!” you cry out into oblivion. You’re so glad you live alone at the very least, it stops you from looking like a crazy person when you talk your potential sexipades out.

Billiam has Super-liked you!

“No. Nononono—” you bludgeon your head against your pillow, frowning when your phone opens up a chat for you and Billiam.

Billiam: hi can u check if my dick is too small

You: please, don’t send me a picture of your dick.

Billiam is typing…

You: for fuck’s sake—

“—that’s disgusting,” Jihoon curses, and immediately sends out the screenshot for sexual harassment.

“What’s disgusting?” Mingyu chimes, swiveling in his spinny chair from his side of the room.

“Don’t look,” Jihoon gags, reaching for a bottle of Coca-Cola from the mini-fridge. “You’ll throw up your fried chicken.”

“My person is a twenty-one year old nympho who also happens to be a incel,” Mingyu chastises to his screen, closing up the eighth tab of BBC porn he’s seen this week, “he doesn’t know how well he’s avoiding the FBI’s eyes,” Mingyu shakes his head, “so I’ve seen some pretty bad shit, but I’ll take your word for it.”

“No,” he echoes your name like you’ve done the most heinous thing in the world, “no, no! Why would you swipe left on Jackson? You’re way out of his league! He literally looks like he has a pea-sized brain!”

“He does look like he has half a brain cell,” your voice reverberates through his noise-cancelling headphones, unknowingly agreeing to Jihoon’s passionate throw of anger, “but I’m deprived and desperate, so!”

It’s like you can hear his sentiments exactly.

“Literally, you could have any person you want,” Jihoon chastises through his desktop, glaring heavily at your bedroom camera, “you’re wasting your time with these losers!”

Oblivious, you let yourself dangle across the bed. The camera isn’t the best quality, but Jihoon watches intently at the rise and fall of your chest as you attempt to fall into a fitful sleep.

“Some yell at screens for soccer,” Minghao says to the air from his cubicle, “some yell for Starcraft, but Jihoon yells for Tinder like it’s an Olympic sport.”

“Jihoonie,” Mingyu rolls around his chair, resting a long arm over the backrest, “do you have a crush on your civilian?”

Jihoon immediately swivels around his hair, meeting the amused eyes of Mingyu. “No,” he says sharply, whipping around to glare at his screen.

He glares harder the longer Mingyu’s simple question sinks in. He doesn’t have a crush on you, he likes you. Jihoon swallows his sigh, wondering why you would want to go as low as Tinder to look for a potential tryst. From your profile, you’re absolutely beautiful and intelligent. You have simple pleasures that match his—a hot cup of tea right after dark, snuggling under a weighted blanket while watching anime, and sleeping in on Sundays.

Unlike him, you don’t see the world through half a dozen lenses and a plethora of information right at your fingertips. No, you’re lucky.

“Hey can you grab me my water bottle?” Mingyu asks over his shoulder.

Jihoon thinks nothing of it, leaving his post for the thirty seconds it takes to get to the mini-fridge and grab Mingyu’s Hydroflask.

“You got a call,” Mingyu says when he plops the bottle on his desk, indicating to the red blinker on Jihoon’s computer.

It isn’t until he puts on his headphones does he take care to see why his blinker is going off.

He’s getting an incoming call. From you.

You’ve been waiting on the line for about two minutes. He lets two additional minutes breeze by because Jihoon is internally screaming. You’re calling again. There’s a fire blazing in his brain, his fingers hot as he twitches against the spacebar of his keyboard.

From the monitor he can see that you’ve given up on sleep, hands pawing through your drawer so you can take a final swipe at your magenta-tinted lip balm before nesting yourself in the sheets. You’re kicking around as if you don’t have work at 9AM, smacking your lips to apply the shiny salve while you wait for your call to be picked up.

“Why is my civilian calling me,” it isn’t a question, it’s a thinly veiled indication that Jihoon is ready to fight whoever compromised him like this.

Mingyu and Minghao fail to answer. That’s okay, he isn’t opposed to killing both if neither fess up.

It would be so easy for him to ignore the call, or redirect it to another part of the office. Yet he aches to talk to you, for real talk to you. As if you’re just two regular plain-old human beings with normal lives, and as if he didn’t know every nook and cranny about your daily routine and your favorite breakfast foods.

Call it pride, call it confidence, but Jihoon’s been pretty good at games and he hopes prior experience helps him get over this hurdle. Slipping on his headset, he accepts the call and answers in a controlled voice, “This is the local hotline for sexual harassment reports, are you here to report a case?”

Okay, so this is the closest thing he can get to having a full-fledged conversation with you, so he’ll take it.

“Hi,” you mumble your name into the phone, and he nearly disintegrates right then and there. It’s different when he can hear your voice directly in his ears, definitively reaching out to him as opposed to being a fly on the wall, “I received an email that a report was sent out for my previous chat as sexual harassment, but I didn’t send out a report.”

“Yes,” Jihoon replies smoothly, tapping his nails against his thighs, “it’s a new update.”

“Oh, well thank you,” you reply, and Jihoon sees from the camera that you’re staring at your phone in curiosity.

“It’s my job,” he says, and the words hold more weight than you think, “are you okay?”

“Is it also your job to ask how I’m doing?”

He smiles wryly, and he looks up at the monitor to see how you’ve considerably relaxed on your bed. Your legs dangle in the air, and you’re hugging a mango plushie with all the love in the world. “Not really, but I figured I’d ask. I don’t think I’d be able to recover from a dick that looks like an unhinged toenail.”

Your laugh flutters in his ears, and his stomach is flip-flopping with more than just his shitty ramen lunch. Your face curls and wrinkles into happiness at the lewd joke, and you rest your chin on your stuffed fruit.

“I’m okay,” you finally answer, “it’s not the first time I’ve seen subpar dick. But thank you… what’s your name?”

“Uji,” he says, a codename that he considers as precious as his actual name, “feel free to call or text this number if you’re ever feeling uncomfortable and in distress.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, good night Uji.”

“Good night.”

That wasn’t so bad, Jihoon thinks as he hangs up the phone. He dims the monitors to let you freshen up and get ready for bed, as per your schedule. After tonight, he hopes he can be sated with his curiosity of you. Maybe he needs to follow your plans and open up a dating account or something, he feels that he’s starting to get a little too engrossed in your presence.

The waning starts today.

You: help, i’m feeling uncomfortable and in distress

Uji: what is it this time?

You: i can’t decide which weighted blanket i should get. Will more weight make me feel more comforted or will i accidentally suffocate myself in my sleep?

The waning of you did not start that night, in fact it never began. Jihoon’s been on edge for weeks, simultaneously teetering between what he calls the high-school equivalent of the talking stage and an absolute catastrophe.

It started as an accident, you meant to call your friend’s number for cooking help but since the last call before your friends was his, you called Jihoon instead. To your surprise, he knew how to roll out homemade pasta without a pasta machine. You kept him on the call for the entirety of dinner preparation, and he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pride when your pasta turned out perfect and you were happy and full for the entire night.

Weeks later, and you’ve been texting each other for shits and giggles. At first you chalk up your insistence that he’s basically Human Google and has the answers to seemingly anything and everything, but over time it seems that you enjoy your daily interactions with him. Whether it be a simple phone call asking how to unclog your drain or a screenshot comparing two different KitchenAids, he’s at your disposal.

The burner phone he’s been holding as of late is on silent, but he’s able to pick it up immediately. It’s almost intuition, coupled with the way he notices whenever you seem in a pickle and you need to contact him. However he does not have a chance to formulate a reply, as you’re now calling him.

“Couldn’t wait?” he speaks as if you’re familiar with each other, as if you’re friends. Jihoon longs for that so much, he would love to be upgraded to someone other than the IT guy you text for funsies.

“Yes,” you say, voice laced with determination, “I’m deciding on whether to just like or Super-Like this guy on Light a Flame.”

Jihoon deflates a little, but steels himself. You’d never want to go on a date with the IT guy, it seems that you enjoy the anonymity of your recent communications. Your conversations are definitely meme-worthy.

“Who is it?”

“His name’s Lee Jihoon, 25, works in the FBI.”

He chokes on his coffee, precious beans from Argentina, and the liquid is flying across his keyboard.

Pulling up your phone view, it confirms the worst. In a moment of Weakness with a capital W, Jihoon had caved and made a Light a Flame profile the other night. It’s an app reserved for more serious relationships, which means you’ve finally graduated from Tinder.

“Are you okay?” he wants to cry when he hears you on the other line, genuinely panicked. “Do you need me to send you his profile?”

“N-no,” he sputters, rubbing a rough napkin from McDonalds over his dripping chin. He thought he privated his profile last week after he realized there was nothing he could do to let loose of you. Turns out that isn’t the case, because you’re currently pursuing his profile and actually kinda-sorta considering him for a potentially serious relationship.

“C’mon, Uji,” you tease lightly, “you always seem to know what to do. This is your area of expertise after all, since you work for that kind of department.”

What should he do, scratch that, what can he do? It’s a complete violation of policy to be fraternizing with his civilian life. Sure, there has been episodes of civilians and agents meeting each other, but only minor violations that both parties forgot about shortly after. He’s so far deep at this point, he can risk being relocated or losing his civilian—losing you.

“Do you think he really works in the FBI?” you say when he doesn’t reply immediately, “he’s really cute, though. Totally looks like my style, and he likes My Hero as well! C’mon, I just need for you to check as to whether he’s a homicidal maniac or a compulsive liar.”

Liar. He’s a liar.

That self-accusation prompts him to slump in defeat, and he mumbles in the phone, “I don’t think he’s worth it. I’d say pass.”

“Hey, Coups has seniority,” Soonyoung pats Jihoon thoughtfully on the back with one hand, and grilling meat with the other. Barbeque always lifted up Jihoon’s spirits. “Why don’t you give it a chance and meet her for real? And then he can give me your super cute civilian and then he can give my shitty civilian to some newbie.”

“And if it doesn’t work out, I just lose her,” Jihoon’s eyes are watering, most likely from the excess smoke around their grill, but it does align with his current state of sadness. It was the right thing to do, he thinks over and over as he replays that phonecall from last night. “Hoshi, if you were in my situation, would you have done the same?”

“Like I said–” Soonyoung—codename Hoshi, waves his tongs around like a magic wand, “your civilian is super cute, so I would be making a beeline to her house and—”

“Okay, don’t finish that sentence,” you’re his civilian, not Soonyoung’s.

“Cheer up, c’mon,” Soonyoung’s filling his bowl with all sorts of delicious things, charred vegetables, mixed rice, and pork belly. Jihoon’s favorite is pork belly, so eventually he relents with a timid smile, taking out his chopsticks to appease his friend, “there it is, Uji. Food always makes things better—”

“Uji?”

Both off-duty agents freeze, hearing the familiar ting of your voice as it glares holes into Jihoon’s back. It’s you. Since they’re off the clock, he would have no idea you’d be here. Usually that’s fine, it’s early morning and it’s pretty unlikely that you’d run into your civilian considering you’re supposed to know every second of their schedule. It seems that tonight you’ve varied from the norm.

“Uh, hey?”

His back is still facing you, and he’s side eying Soonyoung in a panic. He’s wearing a cap and a nondescript hoodie, feeling like a shlub as your familiar voice pings back at him with excitement.

“I knew I recognized your voice!” you’re unfazed, definitely not realizing the distress the two men are currently going through. “What a small world, I didn’t think we’d ever actually run into each other!”

“Talk to her, you ass!” Soonyoung hisses, and immediately swivels his chair so he has no choice but to face you.

You’re so, so pretty. Prettier in person, prettier than any crappy 480p screen can give him. You’re definitely not dressed for barbeque, in fact you look like you’re just passing by to pick up a to-go order after a night out. You’re dressed in a silky looking velvet off-the-shoulder top, the cherry red color practically melting onto your skin. The black skirt paired with it has Jihoon salivating for more than just barbeque, and he has no idea how to look away.

The smile is wiped clean off your face however, and you recognize him almost immediately. “Jihoon?”

This should be a moment of joy for him, after all it’s far too late to go back at this point. You look a little hurt, your face twisted in confusion as you put two and two together.

Soonyoung excuses himself to go to the bathroom, although neither party seems to care. The lame, over-distended EDM music that plays over the cacophony of the barbeque place seems to melt in the atmosphere, much like how the smoke hits the fan, and it’s just you two in the room. Jihoon gestures a pale hand to Soonyoung’s seat, and you take a beat to reluctantly sit yourself down.

You clutch your skirt with both hands, thumbs ringing against the pleats and ironing them out. “So, you’re also Jihoon?” your voice is tiny, small and sad. Jihoon feels liquid guilt inject in his veins, and he wishes he could reach out and pat your shoulder, hold your hand, something. However no matter how much he knows you, he’s a stranger to you. “Why did you lie to me?”

“It’s… complicated,” you shake your head at his pathetic reply, and Jihoon hates this. He feels like he’s drowning in smoke and mirrors and the cloying scent of pork belly is now sticking to all his senses, immobilizing him.

With a cross of your arms, you scoff, “It’s always complicated.”

“Please don’t think I said those things the other night because I don’t want to date you,” Jihoon tumbles the words out like a hamster wheel, wanting to speed up to your pace as fast as he can, “I want to, I really do, but it’s—”

“Complicated.”

“Yeah.”

The two of you sit in silence, letting the noise back into your little bubble. Jihoon feels his stare on you, akin to how a teacher looks over your shoulder during an exam. He robotically eats rice, grain after grain as he lets you have your look.

The slope of his nose, the cotton smooth skin, the lean yet strong stature. You can’t believe he matches the Light a Flame profile perfectly. Other than the frumpy clothes, he matches the man on your phone, a simple picture in a black suit that reminds you strangely of the movie Kingsman. You mentally roll through what you remember from his profile, his hobbies, his likes and dislikes, his occupation—

“Wait,” you pause, your brows knitting together, “so the FBI thing on your profile… is not a joke?”

Jihoon forgets to chew his last bite, and he swallows a whole two centimeters of meat down his throat. Ouch.

“It’s—”

“Complicated.”

The adjective has a whole new meaning now. It’s crazy how in so little words, so much is exchanged between you two. You might not be realizing it, but Jihoon’s so attuned to you he feels like the pick to your guitar, strumming and humming along your chords like it’s second nature. It really isn’t fair, but anticipating your reactions helps greatly.

“There’s things you’re not telling me.”

“Right.”

“And things you can’t tell me,” you add.

“Yes.”

“Then what are some things you can tell me?”

“I’d… rather not here,” Jihoon’s eyes dart around the room, looking for all the pinholes and micro cams attached to the restaurant. By the bonsai, under the table, in the koi tank, “I need to work out some paperwork before anything.”

“Paperwork?”

Jihoon nods mutely, but he looks at you with a litany of emotions in his eyes you’re reeling back in your stool. Why do you feel like this man knows you from a simple five-minute interaction? And why do you feel like you can trust this man with your life?

“Okay,” you finally say.

“Really? Okay?” you think he’s cute, the way his eyes perk up and his back straightens.

“Really.”

Silence fills the space once more. This time however, it feels more at ease.

“The only reason why I’m saying yes,” you pretend to nonchalantly play with your fingertips, a manicure reserved for a date you’ve long abandoned for this evening in favor of a new flame, “is because I think FBI agents are kinda hot.”

A flush blooms on Jihoon’s cheeks, and you can’t help but giggle.

#jihoon x reader #woozi x reader #caratwritersclub #kwritersworldnet #svtcreations #jihoon fic #woozi fic #seventeen fic #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenarios #jihoon scenarios #woozi scenarios

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nonbinaryresource · 4 years ago

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I am a tired teenager and I wanna fight god. I'm moving out of my aunt's home, and being put under the care of my racist/trans/homophobe older brother. He thinks using slurs are funny and likes to occasionally call me the f slur, he doesn't care that this upsets me. Either way, I thought I had a fairly safe place at my school, but people keep using the wrong pronouns for me, and when I actually get the courage to tell them to stop, THEY STILL DO IT. help would be nice, also thnks for the blog

This is definitely a tough situation to be in. You have every right to be tired and angry. This sounds like it hurts and I’m sorry you had to be put in this position.

1. Are you able to stay in your aunt’s home? Can you fight going to your brother’s house? I don’t know the specifics so this would be very dependent on the situation with them.

2. Become emancipated. If you do this, you would be legally an adult. (This is based on the US) How to get independence without being emancipated

3. Many countries protect the right for students to have their correct pronouns used. England, Scotland, Wales The U.S.

4. When you hear your brother call you a slur or someone else is calling you the wrong pronouns, remain visibly calm. (I’m not saying you can’t correct them.) If you get angry or upset, some people will use this as a “reason” to keep doing it.

5. If you do want to talk to your brother about how he talks to you, write down what you want to say first. You could even email, text, or message him.

6. Remind yourself that you are not the problem. The problem is your brother’s homophobia and your classmate’s misgendering you. Even if you had just told them your pronouns the day before and they forgot the next day and it was blamed on an accident, you would still not be the problem.

7. If you had recently come out, give them time. This is frustrating and painfully slow but they will really not use the correct pronouns before they’ve mentally adjusted.

8. Stand up to your brother or classmates. Only do this if you feel you would be safe.

9. Go to a GSA and make new friends? Does your school have one? If not, you could always petition to start one yourself.

10. Join some sort of club/program/activity/sport outside of your school? Many libraries have teen groups and some even have LGBT+ teen groups.

11. Misgendering and slurs can be a result of ignorance. If you wanted, you could provide your brother or your classmates with some resources so they have more knowledge.

Nonbinary/Genderqueer 101

Transgender FAQ

Basic Gender Q&A

Little Bit More In Depth

What NOT To Ask A Trans Person

Breaking Myths About Nonbinary People

Basic Nonbinary Explanation

Genderbread Deadnaming

Misgendering

Pronoun Practice

12. This site goes over everything related to being in school.

13. I wrote a post previously that is similar to this and might be useful.

14. If this is affecting you daily and you need a safe person to talk to, you could ask your school if they have counseling sessions. If you are in college, they offer counseling services, too. Some colleges also have an online self led program. (UW has it.)

Free therapy over the phone (made for LGBT+ people)

Trevor Resources

TrevorLifeline, TrevorChat, TrevorText (LGBT+, nonbinary positive hotline)

TrevorSpace (support network for LGBT+ young adults and teens)

Tons and tons of self-help guides for (almost) anything

Worksheets and resources with sections that focus on Latine, Middle Eastern, Asian, Black and/or African American, and Indigenous mental health.

**I am not a medical professional and these were included to make it easier for you in case you did need some resources. I am not trying to diagnose you, just providing resources.**

"I believe in a future where we don’t have anyone telling us how to express ourselves — be that the bullies at school, the police, or even our own friends and families." -Alok Vaid-Menon

-Mod Zay

#mod zay #zay #ask #answered #misgendering #homophobia #transphobia #bigotry #school

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samtheflamingomain · 3 years ago

Text

25.21%

I've been sober for 3 months today. 92 days. 25.21% of 2021.

I could've posted more updates, more milestones (it took a LOT not to post on Day 69) but I wanted to kind of save it up for a Big Day. It was also a decent way to continue to incentivize my continued sobriety: a full pass to do a shameless, hardcore bragging sesh.

Anyway, this post comes in 2 parts: the TL;DR for those who only want the gist, then more in depth on my ability to stay sober, the lasting effects of rehab, etc.

I tried my damnedest to pare this absolute novel down, but it's long, so feel free to dip out if you just get bored. Onward!

TL;DR: I went to rehab the beginning of July for 3 weeks and haven't had a drop of alcohol since. I've lost weight, I'm more healthy, my daily anxiety level went from 8 to 2, I haven't had an anxiety attack in 3 months, and everything generally just seems... easier. My memory and concentration have improved. I've been productive and I've been meditating every day. I'm saving money, and while I sometimes fantasize about getting drunk, that's usually all it is.

Honestly, it's been much easier than I expected, but I think a lot of that is because for the first 3 weeks, the time in which I would usually break down and start drinking again when trying to get sober myself, was spent behind a locked door. So far I haven't had any days where I was close to giving in. I haven't had many days where I've been depressed about it, missing it or really tempted. Maybe 3-4. I've basically just gotten on with my life as if alcohol doesn't exist.

To wrap up the short version for those ready to peace out, I'll leave it with a bit of advice.

I don't feel qualified to give any specific advice, because my story feels very unique to me, and I honestly don't think what worked for me will work for MOST people. Sometimes people spend a year in rehab and still drive straight to the liquor store on their way home.

That said, there's one thing that I've found pretty universally true: you have to really want it. For a while, I floated about without much of a "reason" to stay sober. I don't have a spouse, kids or a job I've been fired from, so I didn't see the point.

It's taken me a while, but after not being "convinced" by a few superficial "reasons" like weight loss and saving money, I thought I needed something more... permanent? Consequential? I now realize that my "reason" for getting sober at a young age after only a few years of alcoholism is that I don't want it to get to a point where I'm hurting other people, drinking myself into multiple lasting health problems... I don't want it to become permanent or consequential.

Anyway, that's my two cents. If you do have something like kids or trouble keeping a job, definitely use that as your reason. But for anyone who's a pretty "functional" alcoholic like I was, "not letting it go on long enough to become disfunctional" is a good enough reason.

This is going to get stupid long, so feel free to walk away now, just glad you read this much and it really does mean the world when people listen to what I have to say.

Now some more things in depth. I'll go in chronological order: what made me get sober, what I took from rehab (and what I left), and how it's been the past few months.

I started drinking when I got kicked out, manic out of my mind and homeless unable to sleep. It took a while until I was able to sleep without alcohol, but by then the addict brain had taken over. I'd tried a few times to get sober myself, but I never made it more than a week without, and always got back to daily drinking after a few months maximum.

Some people need a "wake up call", a "last straw" or a "rock bottom". Something external to make them realize they can't go on as they are. For me, the catalyst was my health, which is more of an internal reason I suppose. I didn't have a heart attack or liver failure, but my anxiety was getting uncontrollable and I knew it was directly tied to my drinking.

My life had been starting to feel tolerable, and I was more financially secure than ever before. Things were looking up... except for the alcoholism. This is a weird analogy but the only one that makes sense to express why, if I was doing so well on paper, I decided to go to rehab: you have to sweep before you mop. If I hadn't been in the place I was, I don't think I would've been successful at rehab. I had to sweep up the cat turds from the floor of my life before I was able to mop up the shit stains with sobriety. I know, I'm a true wordsmith.

When I finally called the hotline that hooked me up with a bunch of different rehabs, I knew I was in for a wait. It was about 5 months from that call to checking in, which isn't too bad considering I've been on the waitlist for a neuropsychiatrist in ALL OF CANADA for 4 years.

That brings us to July 12th, Rehab Day One. I've gone in depth in multiple other posts but to touch on it briefly, if I had to describe my experience in a sentence I'd say "the place I went to got very lucky with me".

What this means is that, of the 5 people in my group, I think this exact program was only ever going to help me. At the same time, I didn't even know what I would need, but this exact program was 90% of it. I didn't think 3 weeks would be long enough, but for me it was. The hours-long, repetitive, basic-ass CBT groups held 5 times a day 7 days a week was absolute torture for everyone but myself. While it was a drag to spend an hour on defining what a cognitive distortion is, the routine and repetition, something I've never gotten out of any outpatient program, helped me to really absorb the information and let it rewire my brain.

I've always said that I'm someone who should be spending an hour a day with a therapist for the rest of my life, and while that's not even remotely feasible, this was as close as it's ever gotten, and it proved me right, because it worked. I've done biweekly therapy for a short time but even that didn't come close to the way my brain changed in those 3 short weeks.

This program required absolute commitment and open-mindedness. This isn't because it was hard work or difficult concepts, but quite the opposite. While I hate the entire concept of art therapy being used as a cure-all for mental illness, I willingly got out of my bed, went downstairs and tried doing a dot mandala for an hour because I'm willing to try anything to get better. A lot of people might think they are, but really aren't. To use the mandala as an example, one guy was really into it, I wasn't, but we both finished. The other 3 tried, messed up a few times, and then scrolled through their phones. When I say this program necessitates complete engagement, that's not a compliment. It shouldn't be a chore to engage with the program. It shouldn't take me actively saying "I know I've known this basic concept since 4th grade, but maybe hearing it again will help" to get something out of a rehab program. So again, in every way, I got lucky, and so did they.

Before I finish with the rehab section, having had a few months to reflect on the whole thing, I now have an endless list of things wrong with it. I arrived, greeted by the most jaded and disillusioned of staff, and quickly became disturbed and at points concerned with just how negligent the staff are.

Maybe it's because I've been on the psych ward where they won't even let you have shoelaces and shine a flashlight on your face every half hour through the night, but it could've been so incredibly easy to sneak in alcohol. I brought 2 full water bottles, fully expecting to have to dump them out upon arrival, but they said "nah it's fine". Is it though?

Then there were actual counsellors there who were... okay. I recall one, the one I thought was the smartest, reading a handout aloud and coming across the word "delve" as in "let's delve into..." and stumbled, then said she doesn't know that word. The room was silent. As she pulled up Google on the screen I said, "it means to dive into it". She Googled it anyway. Synonyms include "dive in". If that was the only example I wouldn't mention it, but this was the first of at least 10 words she had do Google, none past a 10th grade level, from HER OWN MATERIAL. From that point on it became clear that they had no fucking idea what they were doing.

We had one last one-on-one counselling session before we left and the counsellor just filled in boxes to questions on her computer, rephrasing everything I said to fit into the buzzwords and "lessons" we'd "learned". Example. Me: I do think I'm better able to catch myself thinking 'oh I can just have one drink' and say 'no I can't'." Her: "Okay, so would you say that you can recognize negative cognitive distortions like permission-giving thoughts and counter them with a more rational and less emotional mind?" Like girl, blink twice if your boss is holding your family hostage. She gave me some papers, detailing all the online courses they were signing me up for and options for more treatment they'd be sending me, a phone number to call and a phone appointment for the next Monday. I never got that call, the phone number is a hotline, I never got a single email from them, and given how shitty they really are at their jobs, I didn't feel the inclination to try and get those resources. If they even exist in the first place.

In summation, it was a place where it was physically impossible to get alcohol. That's really all I can say in its favor. Oh, and they let you have your cell phone.

Now on our timeline I'm back home. I want to kind of analyze why it's been easy for me.

I often said that my main goal of going to rehab was to lock me away from alcohol long enough for it to reset my brain. Most people thought that was naïve, but that's exactly what happened. But I'm well aware that my experience of "instantly became sober and literally hasn't had a single hard day in 3 months" is absurdly unusual.

I put this down to a few things. Firstly, I'm on seven different meds for my mental health. Almost all of them have their effects dulled or even eliminated when you drink. So when I noticed my mood, fatigue, memory, concentration etc all getting better at once - right about as I left rehab, I don't think it would be a stretch to say that all those meds started working properly.

Secondly, I've been keeping myself busy, but that's something I've always been good at. Now I specifically choose to undertake projects that will eat up a lot my time and put me in a state of flow. I recently made an entire card game from scratch, and let me tell you, I didn't think of alcohol for a week.

Thirdly, my other goals now get in the way of alcohol. I'm getting old and my body is deteriorating. But I've always wanted to do just one last season of gymnastics. Well, I need to lose weight for that to happen. I've already lost 35 pounds, and after another 20 I'll be ready to go. Also, I used to spend more on alcohol per month than rent. Even though I've done a few shopping sprees lately, I haven't come remotely close to how much I was spending before.

I want it more than anything. I want to be sober more than I want one night of "fun" that will more likely than not lead me back to where I was a year ago. I never want to need anything as much as I needed alcohol.

Lastly, just a few more random thoughts.

A lot of people, myself included, worried about the fact that I work at a bar as a cook, but honestly the entire time I'm there I'm thinking about food, not alcohol. If I'm hanging out with some regulars before/after, I can watch them drink and be perfectly fine with my coffee, because the coffee is $2, and I used to spend $20 after every work shift.

I also decided in rehab to start taking better care of myself as best I could. This started with getting my second vax which I'd been putting off, then an eye appointment, then new glasses, then a dentist appointment where I was informed I need to do $3000 worth of work on my implant that's erroding my bone matter, so that sucks, but I caught it early. I've also been meditating every day. In just 3 months, I've made pretty big improvements to my self-care and my daily routine.

One of my fears about sobriety was "missing out" on "having fun". A few days ago, all my housemates got together to play Mario Party, and it was kind of my first night doing something social while sober. It was a breath of fresh air - I wasn't constantly running to piss, I didn't worry about running out of alcohol, I didn't get sloppy and obnoxious as I can sometimes do. I even came very very close to winning my first game of MP. When I reflected on the night, I realized that, if I'd been getting drunk the whole time, I would've sucked at the minigames, been a hindrance to anyone unfortunate enough to be teamed with me, and likely would've stopped caring about the game itself after the first few turns.

Yesterday I was making my 4th pot of coffee of the day when I realized there was a full glass of wine just sitting on the counter. I had absolutely no idea where the hell it came from - nobody in my house drinks wine. I shrugged and poured that sweet sweet bean juice. It was only when I sat down and took a sip of coffee did I find myself thinking automatically, "this tastes so much better than wine". I only realized then that it had been rose wine, the only kind I've ever been able to tolerate. It was the ultimate moment of possible temptation, and the thought of just chugging that glass - as I may've done in the past - didn't even cross my mind.

I'm so glad to be where I am. I'm about to undergo some serious financial changes - i.e. going absolutely broke - but drinking isn't gonna help that, so I'm cautiously optimistic.

Stay Greater, Flamingos.

#rehab #alcoholism #alcohol tw #sam #recovery #sobriety

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harperhug · 3 years ago

Link

In case the article gets paywalled:

What Good Is 'Raising Awareness?'

Just being educated about diseases isn't enough to make people healthier.

In 2010, a strange meme spread across Facebook. People’s feeds were suddenly filled with one-word statuses saying the name of a color, nothing more. And most of these posts were from women.

The women had received messages from their Facebook friends that were some variation on this, according to The Washington Post: "Some fun is going on ... just write the color of your bra in your status. Just the color, nothing else. It will be neat to see if this will spread the wings of breast cancer awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before people wonder why all the girls have a color in their status. Haha."

Oh, okay. It was for breast cancer awareness. Except, no, wait—how? The Susan G. Komen Foundation had nothing to do with it, though it did get them some Facebook fans, according to the Post story. It wasn’t clear at all who started it. There was no fundraising component to the campaign. And the posts weren’t informative at all. In fact, their whole point was to be mysterious. Maybe people asked their friends what they meant by just posting “beige” or “green lace” and then they had a meaningful conversation about breast-cancer screenings and risk factors, but I’d guess that happened rarely, if at all.

This incident is just one example of the nebulous phenomenon of “raising awareness” for diseases. Days, weeks, months are dedicated to the awareness of different health conditions, often without a clear definition of what “awareness” means, or what, exactly, is supposed to come of it.