#to do something Independent and Adult
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Feeling INTENSELY jealous of my suitemate right now bc her parents are literally helping her look for flights to visit this boy she’s been talking to for a month while I can’t even tell my folks I’ll be crashing at home to see a show because I know it will be a Thing 😑
#I’ve truly just got to suck it up and stand my ground but I wiiiiish it didn’t have to be A Thing EVERY time I decide +#to do something Independent and Adult#piercing my septum dyeing my hair like neither of those got me in “”trouble”” bc I’m an adult n tbf they do more or less recognize that#but it’s a thing every time! They get upset they still emotionally hold me like I’m 16 so it’s jarring for them when I do stuff they don’t#necessarily like (for me) or agree with (for me). 🫥#I literally just want to spend one night at home after seeing a silly gay comedy show so I don’t have to drive back to school at 2am#I don’t wanna answer a million questions about it#also it’s my money 😭 guys I’m not asking you to book a flight for me PLEASE!!#💌
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struggle bus rn because I just got invited on a weekend trip with some friends for months in the future, we're talking "go to a specific event together in May" and I want to go. it's 5 hours away and we'd be carpooling, but I just have this awful anxiety that what if we get into a car accident and I die and never get to see my family again
#this happens every time I do something independently of my family. happened when I went to florida#happens anytime I do anything or go anywhere As An Independent Adult#it's stupid I know but still#also I'd be in for $120 and that's really not much considering what the event is. but I still am like... even if all I spend between#now and then is gas money and the money for my hair appt. I'm Doing Something Wrong by spending more than#$50 at once skdkfjskgnskfnk#girl just stop. go have fun with your friends 😭😂#Lu rambles
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one of my favorite senarios to imagine to put yukio in is sending him 10 years into the future (with the exwires usually) and everyone from their class are like chill adults including himself working their boring ass exorcist job and hes trying to assert dominance over them as the teacher™ but they're all like bro why so serious?
#somehow in my future au i accidently made only the boys active exorcists im so sorry to all the women in aoex#they all passed but i think shiemi and izumo would leave to persue other passions but still be in ajacent fields#like shiemi still runs her exorcist shop#idk what izumo does maybe she still is an exorcist but shes on leave trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life#cuz so much of her adolescence was focused vengence for her family i think she would be kinda lost as an adult#ive said this a bunch of times but rin isnt actually an exorcist for the same reason izumo isnt#ive been kinda muddy on my own timeline but either he passed and left or he dropped out of school and ran away#i think hes like an independent demon slayer like a contract worker#so he still is basically an exorcist but not sanctioned by the vatican like as part of a mercenary guild or something#but he can still take exorcist missions if he wants to but usually its not worth it so he just helps out yukio or bon on their missions#i think after being a literal terrorist yukio got demoted and lost his license for a bit so hes still the same rank as he is now#but now hes medicated and he went to therapy#he has like no memory of highschool to almost a concerning degree and hes generally pretty muted but is still well liked#bon had a completely normal exorcist experience against all odds actually so did koneko except koneko went back to the myoda#and then shima got scouted for his amazing spy skills and works overseas#sorry shima ur not allowed to be an idol that might be the trigger for the bad end#anyway i think teen yukio would hate adult yukio because he thinks hes not allowed to be normal and happy#this is like the 4th time ive made this post like i said its one of my favorites#the reverse is rin going to the past and like tutoring the exorcist class#nobody wants to do yukio psychoanalysis but me so i gotta step up to the plate#jk theres a lot of good yukio fanfics#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#yukio okumura#rin okumura
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had a conversation with my mother yesterday in which she was very clearly looking for reasons to be convinced I'm going to lose my job any minute (taking vacation time, spending too much time on performing arts, enrollment being down because of FAFSA issues, just being generally unsightly) and it really makes me feel like confirming her priors about education and Liberal Hypocrisy and nobody wanting to look at fat people is more important to her than my continued success and happiness in life
#sigh#she has spent my whole life telling me that everyone is out to take advantage of me#and that no one would ever want me around just for my own sake#except of course my immediate family#who generally do precisely nothing to make me feel that they don't find me gross and embarrassing and generally incompetent#(there's always a lot of 'well *i* don't think you're gross and useless and unbearable to be around but i know what other people think!'#anyway i am in a bad mood this morning exacerbated by the sidewalk between the parking garage and my workplace being blocked off for repair#ALSO LIKE#she has exactly the same kind of generalized anxiety i have#albeit expressed very differently#and also: everyone around her enables it#if she is worried about something?#it is EVERYONE'S PROBLEM#and because i struggled a lot in my twenties and thirties#this usually means i am everyone's problem#also she gets really offended when her adult children want to get away from the household and lead independent lives#which is why my sisters are her faves
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I'm being forced to visit my abusive grandma to deal with my childhood traumas and grow up as person(already ended crying and visiting the clinic because of that) so with that said
What is it to be an adult for you ? One of the expectations is for me to be able to become an adult since I will be 23 when I get back so...
I think you shouldn't need to confront your trauma Like That to grow up as a person tbh i'm no psychologist but it feels counterproductive. Abusive people should be put behind you, not at your side. Stay safe, and stay strong, bestie, i'll be keeping you in my thoughts🫂
As for me, being an adult is a subjective thing. I'm not sure? I think "responsibility". Having more of them, and being okay-ish at keeping the strings together. -ish, i emphasise. Nobody can keep all the strings together, but trying your best is part of it. You gain a bit more independence, but you end up losing a lot of that freedom you gain to responsibilities. But i'd still say adulthood comes with additional freedoms. I hope the expectations placed on you aren't some shit like "get a (good) job" or "become fully independent, financially and otherwise" bc for me that's awfully individualist and might not be feasible for every adult (like, a disabled adult might not be able to keep a job that is exhausting, whatever "exhausting" might mean to them - could be the medical profession known for a lot of overtime and sleepless nights, could be an office job where you have to stare at screens that cause eyestrain for too long etc etc).
But i think it does include some independency. Dependant on the person. YMMV. I think i'd leave it up to the individual to define, beyond the biological "maturity/end of puberty" or sociological "minor/adult" divide
#like for me adulthood comes with independence (emphasis on the financial) because for me i don't think i'll be able to#feel like an adult for as long as i'm dependant on my parents#but i can't say ''emotional maturity'' bc i think there's something wrong with me on a psychological level#and i mean this unironically and seriously#that genuinely prevents me from achieving that emotional maturity and still makes me feel emotions like a toddler#(like best i can do is control my reactions but then i just have my tantrums when i'm alone and tend to take my feelings out on myself)#for me it's about enjoying the freedom of planning my own day and week bc my parents control(led) my free time#(present tense bc they still do when i come home for holidays)#stuff like that. i think in that case for me adulthood is about the separation from your parents/parental figures#separation thru identity happens during puberty i think#so i guess it makes sense that that emotional and physical separation and changing of the dynamic#from dependant/supporter to more or less equal individuals would be the end of puberty and onset of adulthood#it's a philosophical debate i think#what're your thoughts on it?
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Fuck I mean shit I mean fuck I’m so autistic
#it’s bad. it’s bad.#I keep clinging to the hope I’m not actually autistic because I’ve never gotten an official diagnosis#but fuck me man#it’s starting to impact such a huge portion of my life that it’s actually getting kinda hard to ignore#I’m.#I can’t do things. I can’t go certain places.#my job options are limited due to my genuine ability to perform certain tasks#and it’s not normal how. bad I am at stuff sometimes#something is definitely wrong with#me and it’s affecting my ability to act as an independent person#something about me also affects peoples perceptions of me I mean#I’m literally a child. to people#and to myself really#but I’ve just become a legal adult and it’s hitting me#as I’m surrounded by peers who act so different to me#that something isn’t right#I know most people feel like kids still but I cannot stress enough that something else is going on I swear#I don’t know#potatoe rambles#vent#tw vent
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honestly miranda's a lot more insecure than she will ever let anyone else know about or even mentally recognize and realize in herself - its just also in such specific and bizarre ways that no one ever picks up on it
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#its because of the merkingdom. just. theres no mystery this is absolutely why this is#and also the conflict between#merfolk cultural standards and their norms and what the lands cultural standards and norms are like#honestly merfolk dont lose a lot of their neural plasticity when it comes to social behavior even as they age#because being able to keep up with and maintain bonds and match even small changes in their social groups#were large evolutionary pressures that allowed them to function as they do#that its a little like miranda never fully left the part of childhood where youre just a social sponge#which. again. normal for merfolk. normal for even very old merfolk to be constantly learning new social tricks#its just a problem when she comes up to land and the only other merfolk around is bellanda#and theres a LOT of casual or indirect or even outright rejection of her needs as a merfolk#she has all sorts of new body image issues that she never had before#because she got slapped into a situation where people keep treating her badly because of them#this is also why bellanda and aaravi end up being so important as a part of a stable miivt'ia with her#because that plasticity prioritizes by relationship hierarchy#so if ravi and bells are fine with something and even outright indignant about it#then miri will default more to them being the ''norm'' than anyone else#i just like how much merfolk approach socialization and social behavior from the non-mammalian perspective#of effectively just retaining a social learning curve instead of the way mammals will settle into an ''adult'' socialization#and merfolk having the opposite of most mammals#where theyre far more independent as children and way more social as adults#where the lopsided attachment in parent-child relationships actually has the parent being more attached#hmmmm#which now makes me think high neural plasticity would help them with their long lifespans (already helped by being large and coldblooded)#and staving off the effects of aging by keeping their brains healthier for longer#things to thinks upon
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one of these days i need to sit down with the butterfly + spider symbolism from tri98 and write a thing about spiders and silk moths — beings that are both capable of producing silk — and the inherent tragedy of the domestic silk moth (bombyx mori) + dependent plants
#theres an ongoing debate about what constitutes as ‘ethical’ silk#given that the way silk is usually harvested is by boiling pupated silk worms#(pupated silk worms are also seen as a snack in some cultures!)#some people think this is inherently cruel. to boil the worm before it has the opportunity to emerge as a moth#but if you allow the moth to emerge the silk will be a much lower quality due to the moth breaking strands#and the adult domestic silk moth has a lifespan of roughly a week.#they have no mouths. they cannot eat. their purpose is to reproduce and then die#the domestic silk moth cannot fly. we’ve bred it out of them.#so the question is: is it ethical to boil the silkworm in its cocoon? is it more ethical to let it turn into a moth?#the answer is: i dont know. only the individual can determine that. but i work with silk and i think abt it a Lot#and i do think theres something there wrt spiders who create and utilize their silk for their own purposes#cough cough independent plants#and the dependent plants. the tragedy of the silk moth. no mouth. limited lifespan. an inability to fly.#marge simpson voice I Just Think Theyre Neat
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there’s something so hilariously tragic about being bullied as a kid but not realising at the time until you become an adult & you look back to notice that you in fact were a victim & it impacted you
#me wondering why people didn’t like me and just rubbing them off as nasty losers at the time#often times ignoring them or saying something back that shut them up#but then later on thinking hmmm why did so many people dislike me I didn’t do anything wrong#turns out when you’re very visibly neurodivergent with a smart mouth people hate that lol#now as an adult I am very self conscious struggle to make friends and second guess myself#an actual shell of the person I was as a kid/teenager#I miss her honestly#I never let their words get to me at the time because I liked myself and never wanted to change myself#but you do at a point as you age second guess yourself#start blaming yourself#I was so independent and confident in my self only to now have to rely so much on my mum it’s sad#:(
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Having a post get popular enough to be independently reblogged by someone you follow but aren't mutuals with is. Wild
#yes it was the sex poll obvs#given the person is a minor i'm very glad they picked answer one lmao#like i do think minors in general are allowed to want and even have sex (with each other obvs) but when it's a minor i personally follow it#would just make me feel pretty weird lmao. like on a personal level ya feel? i mean when u reach an even closer level it becomes not weird#again like my dear friend ness (17yo) who afaik doesn't actually HAVE any sex but occasionally wants to and i support her hot girl summer.#but as stated this person barely knows i exist i just follow his blog (i used they earlier but this was incorrect but tumblr won't let me e#edit the tag 😔) and he's 16yo so seeing him talk about wanting and/or having sex would have been. uncomfortable. like obvs he'd be allowed#to because my personal discomfort is no indication of morality but you get it. like if my big little cousin (she's 15 now by god the years#don't stop coming) were to talk about sex and stuff to me or within earshot i would ummm. throw myself out the window? but like i'd still t#try to be supportive and if push comes to shove then yes i would give her condoms 😔 cuz like if a minor wants sex i will not be able to sto#stop them lmao but i can at least try and make it somewhat safe y'know#actually i remembered i have literally given a 15yo a condom before lmao she's prolly over 20 now but like as the adult dormmate it was alm#almost like a responsibility y'know like what do you want me to DO?? let her get pregnant?? anyway enough tangent lmao#btw all this is also why in the poll i included 'too young' but didn't specify an age cuz that's individual y'know. some people are p late#bloomers (i was one) while others choose to have consensual sex by 14 y'know. not something i like to think about but that doesn't mean it#won't happen ya feel. i mean what am i the american education system? lmao. so some ppl have interpreted being 17 as too young but there's#also folks like this who clearly consider 16 old enough and that's defo ppl's good right. and again i usually don't mind just the fact that#he in particular is someone i already knew made it uncomfy. but anyway yea back on topic it's very interesting in general when your post#gets big enough to independently make it to ur dash thru a non mutual lmao. love the hellsite honestly where else amirite#personal#mine#ok to rb ig#like the actual body of the post anyway. i'd be pretty uncomfy if said person saw my tags on this cuz y'know it's kind vagueing even if it'#not negative but anyway. anyway#*kinda
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hmm
#nonsims#been thinking of the support group that starts this sunday#in a way my brains are all 'you don't need to go if it makes you uncomfortable!!! you can just stay home!!! that would be sooo comfy!!!'#but at the same time i recognize that stepping out of my comfort zone might be very good in this particular case#not that i haven't been out of my comfort zone all my life lol#i just know that i need Something that feels real and important in my life#i need to build myself some kind of a life where i will still have things to live for if/when i lose the most important people in my life#and you know what. i counted the social things i've done independently as an adult#like sure my bf's friends visit us a few times a year#but for me those visits are 100% tied to my bf and i would never see those people without him cos they're HIS friends#i do always refer to them as our friends but the reality is that i would never hear from them again if me and the bf split up#so i counted the stuff i've done independently (school or work or hanging out with mom/grandma/bf not included)#i've had dinner with my coworkers TWICE (i didn't want to go but i didn't dare stand out by not going)#i've been to a bar with my work partner ONCE (after one of those dinners)#i see my BFF 2-3 times PER YEAR#that's it. that's my independent social life for AT LEAST the last 12 years#so you know if i were to go to the support group and attend all 11 meetings...#that would be like the biggest social thing for me in my whole adult life#and it's so funny cos it's an AUTISM support group!!! my biggest social thing would be an autism support group!!!#so i'm trying to get into this mindset that i'll go at least this first time to see what it's like
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On one hand I would love to watch Wednesday, but I've watched reviews and even before that the trailers for it told me it was Addams Family themed Riverdale and that's exactly what the reviews said too 🥹🥹🥹
#winters ramblings#my dad used to call me Wednesday as a kid. i used to think he was exaggerating because i always loved Wednesday#and never felt i lived up to that name but uh. i mean i do actually lmao#my fav genre is horror and as a kid i used to hang out in a graveyard. im obviously macabre enough lmao#anyway would have LOVED a new addams family story but uh no. intead it was Riverdale but Slightly Different#so you know. that sucks since that animated feature that came out was even less my bag#its like no one making these adaptions even understood the og content#like sure the movie is most of my knowledge base but also wtf even IS the concept for Wednesday??#who wants addams family content with no FAMILY?? and why this stupid boarding school setting??#anyway Wednesday should have been an adult themed show about her leaving home and learning to balance#her family with her independence outside of her family while doing a career in death related something#or really anything that still involved the damn family in the addams FAMILY canon
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Almost every day I learn something new about life and it is always either 1. There’s some kinda real fucked up creacher in the ocean, or 2. It is an unbelievably warm and speechless experience to be friends with and care for another human being
#voidrambles#listen it may just be that I know too many biologists for some reason#for the first thing#and as for the second thing I may just be socially fucked up in the same way an alien experiencing earth for the first time is but like#it's. the amount of different ways there are to feel about another person is overwhelming#the number of ways there are to make these tiny bonds with someone who you might not even have ever been in the same room with#hurts my brain#I have always been seen by those around me as quite independent and my social battery is very low so#I often fall into seeing connection with other people as something I'm just not built for or don't need#but I really do care about people a lot even if it's not often in the way that's normal or easily expressed and I just#a#it breaks my little creature brain to still be finding so many ways this matters to me as I figure out adult friendships and how that works
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not just this, either. you think kids can't hear your condescension? parents will think they're doing so great not yelling at their kids, meanwhile they talk to them like they're idiots. kids are so smart. hell, babies are so smart. the speed at which they can figure things out is amazing. they just don't know a lot yet. and once you start a bad habit it's hard to stop.
Why are so many people convinced that babies are trying to manipulate them? They’re babies. They literally don’t know how to do anything except suck and scream and be confused. They’re not “manipulating” you. They’re experiencing extreme back pain.
Did you know that? That babies get back pain? They can grow over an inch in one day. Their bones are stretching and it hurts a lot and they don’t know why. Give them a break.
#I get irritated at the way my best friend talks to her two year old#of course she gets upset when you don't let her try to open the jar first even tho she needs help opening it#she wants to do it herself!#she wants to be independent!#it's an important phase to go through!#it's important that she feels like she CAN do things herself!#she just can't yet and that needs to be okay!#talking down won't help her build the self confidence that she is obviously working on!#UGH#like I KNOW sometimes something the child is doing seems silly#but you need to be adult enough to figure out WHY they're doing it#and how to handle it respectfully
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dear americans,
as a polish queer woman and human rights activist, i know exactly how you're feeling right now and what to expect from these elections. i lived through the 2015-2023 regime of pis, a right-wing populist party that divided families in the same way trump did. i’ve experienced the rise of fascism in poland, the influence of far-right parties like konfederacja, and their “santa’s little helpers”��ordo iuris, an ultra-conservative catholic organization (banned in many countries, mind you) that helped enforce a near-total abortion ban and runs anti-queer campaigns in public spaces. i supported the black protests in 2016 as a middle schooler when they first tried to ban abortion. as an adult, i actively participated in the 2020 women’s strike, running from police tear gas daily after they finally passed the ban. i supported friends who faced charges.
i’ve lived through intense homophobia in poland as a queer teen and adult. i survived the first pride march in my hometown, where far-right extremists threw stones and glass at us. i endured the anti-queer propaganda spread by the ruling party in state-owned media. i survived the “rainbow night,” poland’s own stonewall moment in summer 2020, when police arrested around 50 queer activists following the arrest of margo, a nonbinary activist. i survived the "lgbt-free zones," the targeted violence, the slurs from strangers on the street, and the protests i held against queerphobia. it was hard as fuck, but i survived.
but just because i survived, it doesn’t mean others did. many women died because of the abortion ban—marta, justyna, izabela, dorota, joanna, maria, and many others who didn’t survive pis’s draconian anti-abortion laws. milo, kacper, michał, zuzia (she was 12), wiktor, and other queer and trans kids and young adults took their own lives because of the relentless queerphobia.
despite all of this, our experience in poland can serve as a guide now. here are some tips for staying safe and how we, polish queers and women, organized under the regime:
safety first, always. if you know someone who’s had an abortion, no you don’t. if you know someone is trans, no you don’t. if you know people who help with safe abortions, no you don’t—at least not until you know it’s 100% safe to share. if you are queer or have had an abortion, only share this with people you trust fully. most importantly, not everyone has to be an activist just because they’re part of a minority. if it feels unsafe to share that you're queer, trans, etc., then don’t. it doesn’t make you any less queer.
use secure, encrypted messaging like signal for conversations on potentially risky topics, such as queerness, abortion, organizing counter-actions, protests—anything that might be used against you.
stay anonymous online. if you want to research or report something without surveillance, do not use regular internet. get a vpn (mullvad is affordable and reliable), download the tor browser (for both onion and standard links), and if you plan to whistleblow, consider using a riseup email account.
organize and build networks. community is everything now. support each other, foster independence, because your government won’t have your back. set up collectives, grassroots movements. create lists of trusted professionals—lawyers, doctors, etc.—who can offer support.
to lawyers and doctors: please consider pro-bono work. this is what got us through poland’s hardest times. your work will be needed now more than ever.
for protests or risky actions: always write a pro-bono lawyer’s number on your arm with a permanent marker.
get to know the anarchist black cross federation and other resources on safety culture: "Starting an anarchist black cross group: A guide"; Still We Rise - A resource pack for transgender and non-gender conforming people in prison; Safe OUTside the system by the Audre Lorde Project;
for safe abortion info or involvement: get familiar with womenhelpwomen.
stay radical, stay strong, stay informed: The Anarchist Library
if i forgot to (or didn't) include something, don't hesitate to reblog this post with other resources.
#kinda heartbroken i've gotta post something like this#but now my experience is needed more than ever and i AM going to share it#we are going to get through this#together#activism#anarchism#grassroots#anarchist#resources#useful#helpful#human rights#abortion#abortion rights#reproductive rights#queer#trans#transgender#lgbtq#us politics#usa#us elections#america#donald trump#kamala harris#stay safe#moira speaks
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lowkey i want to draw angst of steves parents
#im going to try my best to avoid the words i think#i do not think. i know. they are my ocs. and yet i think#but anyways#his mother especially was devastated after he came home finally after getting out of his relationship with sharron#and seeing the state he was in both physically and mentally knowing that they always thought something was weird#they couldve done something#but they trusted their son and they thought he just wasn’t calling because he was learning to be an adult on his own and going through a#phase of independence#but then he got home and they can see how wrong they were#and no matter what they did for him afterwards it didnt make up for their failure to protect him from his own girlfriend
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