#any kids I ever have or get custody of are going to be so freaking supported

[platypusisnotonfire]

Man Home Alone really hits different when you watch it for the first time as an adult and your like

Wait that was every day of my childhood.

[emonydeborah]

If the crew became kids

I doubt this is going to happen, especially because TNG already did it, but I would personally have such a great time.

An overarching theme would be Una's height because reasons, and because her talking to someone and suddenly having to look down at some child would be hilarious.

So some kidifying ray swept the ship, affecting them either one at a time or all at once.

Chris will not shut up about horses. He's swinging his legs on the biobed and chattering away. He accidentally interrupts and is so apologetic bc he never wants to be rude!!!! He wants to be friends!!! "Are we friends?" Spock has to look down at his captain/father figure and say "...yes. Chris." (Also Chris stares up at Una and says she's pretty bc he has more brains as a child than a grown man). He stares out at the stars with the biggest eyes.

Una the preteen is the same height as La'an and La'an is pretending not to be salty about it. They know she's Illyrian and she Freaks Out, and she and La'an have a talk about accepting themselves and not being defined by what others think that is more educational for La'an than for Una. What a gangly woman. She is out here constantly knocking things over, and the crew sees someone who had to grow into herself as much as anyone. Her default response is silence and big scared eyes but she can be tempted with some trivia. Erica spends hours showing her the flight controls.

Spock is a complete deadpan sassbucket and no one is prepared. the cute chubby cheeks. The bowlcut. His babysitters lose sight of him for sixty seconds and he disassembles a replicator because he heard a funny noise. Don't touch that. Why? *is touching it* They cannot make him believe he is in fact an adult and they're trying to fix him. "Mother says to find a mother with children and ask her for help if I get lost." Man asks Una for help because he's lost. Legend.

Uhura is such a little imp. Once she gets over being scared she disappears into the jeffries tubes. Her giggling echoes through the ship like the ghost of a demonic victorian child. Hemmer is down to let her roam but Una crawls in and drags her out. If any of the kids get a leash, it's Uhura. Erica distracts her with sweets. She needs to be occupied at all times or she will wander away.

Erica is the surliest eleven year old. Everyone expected her to be the easy child but she makes a point of being difficult. Una is tearing her hair out and Chris is like yes but have you considered. She is eleven. She's edgy and moody and everyone is like how did our Erica come from you. Una says she's the best pilot she's ever met and sits her at the helm and Erica stops her griping for a bit. She determinedly does not show interest but she does look at the buttons and subtly watch Jenna doing her job.

La'an has a lisp and sucks her thumb. Una insists she has to stay with her. For security reasons. Una has to go yell at people and La'an is holding her hand/on her hip the whole time. Everyone else is curious about little La'an but Una goes NO get your OWN. Little La'an wants hugs and cuddles and Una goes well if I must. For Starfleet. Chris does get custody for a while and he carries la'an around on his shoulders.

Christine and her big fat smart mouth. ackshually I read about this and you're wrong. Her sass is only matched by baby Spock. Grown Spock does not know how to handle it. This eight year old and her sassy little crossed arms leave everyone speechless with the sheer audacity. Joseph "don't touch that you'll break it" vs Christine "we use these at school all the time I know what to do" *breaks it* "... I didn't do that."

Joseph is the smiliest boy. He's having a great time. He follows Christine around and asks her about everything. Someone is in Sickbay with a sprained ankle or something and Joseph goes hmm. Looks like you're real sick. Do you have chicken soup here. He's the most charming little kid. Everything he does is cute. Everyone gets hugs and secret handshakes.

Hemmer, like Spock, takes stuff apart for the heck of it. Uhura tries to distract him by asking about Andoria and he could not care less. Man is tearing apart the EPS manifold and Uhura goes ...buddy let's not do that. Una says stop and he stops. All the deadpan blind jokes. Look away for two seconds and he is actively climbing into the warp core. What are you doing?!?!? Hemmer *shrugs*

Pelia is off like a shot all over the place. Talking a mile a minute. Young Pelia is such a foreign idea no one knows how to handle it. She's their wise old hermit and their wise old hermit is hanging upside down off the biobed. Now she's on the ground and her head hurts. Oh crap she's crying.

[mysoncookie]

BNHA Dabi-Centric fic recs

Artificial Parenthood, Affectionate Brotherhood by cereal_whore

Teen & Up, Gen, No Archive Warnings

Available on Ao3, On Going | Wordcount: 208,780

Has an On Going Series Called "Dabi says fuck the human species: artificial natural selection addition"

Summary: 22-year-old dabi switches place with ten-year-old touya todoroki in their timeline Bakugou, a single child with the social skills of an apathetic gamer, runs into a cellular mass of anxiety that vibrates the same murderous rage of a chihuahua. Said kid is as problematic as Bakugou himself, is a ginger, does not fear the laws of this land, and doesn't even seem to be from this land- or more accurately, time. Between Bakugou's homicidal urges, Todoroki Shouto's lack of filter, and God's middle finger, lies the Pandora's Box of the Todoroki's household secrets, in the form of a child named Touya Todoroki, who hates fish and has never heard of Minecraft. Todoroki Shouto just wants joint custody over his own older brother who's now inexplicably ten-years-old. So clearly, the only effective solution would be to force Bakugou to adopt him and all his other siblings. Meanwhile, Dabi, still in a world that never wanted him, learns that maybe an old dog can't learn new tricks (a truth he realises, when he finds himself reunited with a nine-year-old Shigaraki, who might not be past saving, the way he will be a decade later).

Lay Me on a Pyre (Sacrifice me for your sins) by RadioSilencer

General Audience, Gen, No Archive Warnings Apply

Available on Ao3, On Going | Wordcount: 29,126

Summary: “Ah, and I hate to do this to you, but there’s a couple questions we have to ask since you’re awake now. Is that all right?” Wondering why his input was needed for that, Touya nodded. Anything they wanted. Whatever he could do to be less of an embarrassment. “Okay then, tell me if you need a moment whenever,” the woman started, “your name.” “Todoroki.” Even if he wished it wasn’t (and everyone else probably did too). “Todoroki Touya.” (A bystander loses control, and Todoroki Touya opens his eyes to a brighter world than he left behind.)

By Any Other Name by SatelliteBlue

Teen & Up, M/M, No Archive Warnings Apply

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 258,617

Has an On Going series called "Will you accept this rose?"

Summary: Through some freak accident of the universe, Dabi has been invited to compete on The Bachelorette. Have they actually seen his face? Surprisingly yes, and they still want him. For this season they apparently need a ‘bad boy’ to both balance out the hero contestant (why in hell is Hawks involved?) and to trash talk the show in interviews to appeal to audiences who don’t like the scripting. Getting sent on a vacation away from his annoying bandmates to complain and eat as much free food as he wants? Sold.

The Difference Between an Heir and a Son by ofHeartmateAndSoulbeats

General Audience, Gen, No Archive Warning Apply

Available on Ao3, On Going | Wordcount: 11,774

Summary: ...because if Enji had ever loved any of his children, it would have been Touya

Brother by Dreamy_Cel_100

Teen & Up, M/M, Graphic Depictions of Violence

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 79,561

Summary: Todoroki Touya has never known comfort. He just didn’t realize he wasn’t the only one. Or When Touya runs away, he decides to take his kid brother. And instead of joining villainy he attempts to create the home he never had.

Sins of the Father by kanekki

Teen & Up, M/M, No Archive Warnings Apply

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 32,411

Has a Complete Series called "the hellish todoroki family"

Summary: Shouto’s lower lip wobbles as he cries. “M-Momma hurt me and Father sent her away. I m-miss you Touya, please come home. It’s scary without you.”

“Alright,” Dabi says soothingly while he glares at the heroes, “We’re going to my place then. Your nii-san’s going to protect you now, okay?”

Shouto is accidentally rewound by Eri’s quirk in the middle of a villain attack, reverting him to a small child with no memories of his future. Dabi takes the opportunity to bring Shouto with him to the League of Villains headquarters to remove him from Endeavor’s clutches.

little brother, we are all grieving by jurassicqueer (kukurosaki)

Mature, Gen, M/M, No Archive Warnings Apply

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 29,561

Summary: When a teenager is dragged into a police station by someone with a self-proclaimed de-aging quirk, it seems too improbable that one of the most notorious villains in Japan could actually be reverted to a scrawny sixteen year old.

But then the blood tests come back, and the quirk labs hand in their results, and it seems that Dabi really is a teenager again- and claiming to be the dead Todoroki Touya, of all things.

OR: Touya never expected to wake up a wanted fugitive, but with his luck, he's hardly surprised.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

as per requested from my previous post I updated my fic recs on dabi and ofc I added the bachelorette au that y'all been talking about tnx to @attackontreason for recommending it ksksks

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

forever ago you mentioned in an ask post that you have a story in your head about college-aged Matt saving Frank’s kids and in return the Castle family forcibly enfolds him into their tribe. There is literal kidnapping involved, and every word in your little summary was fucking hilarious. I want you to know that that scenario has lived in my head rent free ever since—I am astounded by your brain and that concept makes me want to eat dirt (in the best way)(that is a compliment of the highest degree)

anyways! Please don’t think this is me asking “when will you write that” bc i get it, some plot bunnies are just bunnies, and time/real world is a bitch, BUT—if you ever have any little ramblings about it, I’d love to hear them :) the Castle family is Insane and I love them dearly and I am forever entranced by your characterizations of Matt and Frank

Have a good one!!

Christmas with the Castles my beloved. I love this one so much that I typed out an outline of the fic entirely. It is long. Please, take my ramblings if you want them:

It's Christmas at Columbia, hohoho, peace and goodwill to all mankind. The dorms are closed over winter break to replace the pipes and Matt's out on his ass for the holidays, so get fucked, blind little orphan with no surviving family, and God bless us everyone.

Normally the Nelson clan would have taken him in but Foggy's bitch of a Great Aunt Bertha insists on holding the entire family hostage for the holidays with the will as collateral, and she sucks in many respects but even more in the sense that she doesn't want any blind orphans schlepping around her holiday table. But the Nelson clan will risk it all for Matt, who they think is neat. They'll put the whole fucking will on the line, buddy.

Matt assures them that he's got it all under control and has a place to stay. Yes, with a person. Yes, a real one. An old friend of his dad's. No, he's not going to be homeless. Stop asking questions.

This is a lie.

His plan is to simply be homeless. Peace and goodwill to all mankind.

Except Foggy knows when Matt's on his bullshit and insists on speaking to the guy he's staying with, which means he needs to get Fogwell to lie for him. Except Fogwell knows when Matt's on his bullshit and won't let him off the fucking hook until he knows Matt won't be homeless for the holidays.

Matt unequivocally refuses to come home with him. Stop asking. He'll find someone else to do the phone call.

They compromise with Matt staying in the fucking boiler room of the gym. Peace and goodwill to all mankind.

Except Matt sort of makes Fogwell think that he only needs to crash for a few days, and Foggy's family is going to take him in for the rest. This is also a lie. He is fucking off to be homeless for the rest of the holiday season.

Peace and goodwill to all mankind.

He's swallowing his misgivings and putting up with staying in the boiler room of the gym for a few days so Fogwell won't freak out. Which he now regrets. Because it puts him right in the earshot of an active hostage situation. Are those kids? Those are fucking kids.

Anyway he tries to call the police anonymously like ten times but this just tips off the hostage takers, who apparently have a mole in the police, surprising no one. Now they're going to kill the fucking kids.

Matt can't listen to this.

Peace and fucking goodwill to all mankind.

Okay. Fuck. He's doing this now.

Fuck.

THE CASTLE'S HOLIDAY SEASON, THUS FAR:

The kids got kidnapped.

like

fuck.

that happened.

The thing is that some random NSA guy got into contact with Frank and in this AU he actually blew the whistle on the the CIA's bullshit. His family was in protective custody, until his best friend and pseudo brother stabbed him in the fucking back and sold them out. Now they have his kids.

He then kills a lot of people.

Like a lot.

But he can't find his kids. They have his kids.

They're going to kill his kids.

MATT'S NIGHT, THUS FAR:

He's an asshole in sweatpants with a t-shirt wrapped around the top part of his face and no fucking plan, and there are so many assholes with guns in there. Like. So many.

But fuck it. He's doing this now.

fuck.

He fights a lot of guys. He gets super shot. Some guy tries to shoot him with arrows. Like, what the fuck even is this, Robin Hood? Honestly, fuck this night.

Anyway, he saves the kids. Wheee.

It's sort of nice? They bond, when the crying stops. The kids like him a lot. He calls their parents. Sets up a place for them to get picked up. The boy gives him the sweatshirt he's wearing under his jacket, which is kind of him, because it's fuck-off cold and Matt's about ten minutes from going into shock. Anyway, he drops them off at the spot and fucks off into the night before their oddly bloodstained dad can stop him like the world's shittiest off-brand batman.

He then goes to exercise the right of any God-fearing American citizen, which is to bleed out in the basement of his childhood church.

Fogwell's never gonna be okay again if he finds Matt's blood-soaked body in the gym. Matt figures he can just break into that basement no one uses, steal a med kit, make a solid confession about breaking into and stealing from a church if he lives long enough, and hopefully no one will even notice he was there.

This does not pan out.

A really angry nun finds him and narcs him out to Father Lanthom and they bitch him out for "dying" and "not seeking life-saving medical attention" and drag his ass to to the hospital.

NOW THE CASTLE FAMILY, REUNITED AT LAST:

The kids' will be in therapy forever but the danger is gone, because frank killed them all very dead.

He then received a presidential pardon for All The Murder.

Peace and goodwill to all mankind.

Anyway he's testified about the CIA corruption, the government is occupying itself with the coverup to end all coverups, and his only remaining concerns is (1) taking care of his family and (2) making sure the bleeding dipshit who saved his kids lives doesn't die in the streets. He's gotta find that dumb asshole.

Then he gets a phone call from a very concerned nurse at Metro General about the bleeding dipshit that got brought in with his kid's sweatshirt. They're calling because he keeps trying to goddamn leave while very fucking shot and he had a jacket with Frankie's information written on it in magic marker. Do they know him? Can they please come pick him up? They think he's going to die in the streets if someone does not pick him up.

And Yeah. Yeah, Frank Can Do That.

Matt.

Yeah.

The magic marker, he didn't.

Didn't

Didn't see that part.

Fuck.

Anyway, Matt's On His Way Out To Be Homeless For The Holiday Season, Peace And Goodwill To All Mankind, As Soon As The Goddamn Nurses Stop Hiding The Leave Against Medical Advice Forms. He lied and said he got jumped by a lot of guys, no, he didn't see who did it, because, you know. Blind. Just a regular ol' blind guy here. Poor fucking blind orphan alone and shot for the holiday season. Just give him the goddamn form.

And then that fucking guy shows up in his hospital room. The suspiciously bloody father of the kids he just got shot over. He's here, he's insisting that Matt's one of his family's closest friends and they're paying all of Matt's medical bills, and he's not commenting on the blind bit, but Matt can literally smell his curiosity. Matt's insisting that some random guy gave him the jacket, no, he didn't see his face, because, you know. Blind. He's not the guy Frank thinks he is. Nope. Please fuck off now.

They do not fuck off. Maria Castle blows through the hospital room like a hurricane, hugs him very genuinely, cries a little, and tells him that the Castle family pays their debts, and they've never had a greater one. Then the kids show up, and they fucking recognize him. Fuck.

Matt: imindanger.exe

Matt keeps feigning ignorance. Then, he waits until they leave the room and he fucking books it.

Anyway the Castle family minivan catches up to him when he's legging it a block away. They keep pace with him, and ask to just take him where he's going, and they swear they're not going to hurt him. They just want to help him out. He saved their kids.

And he can hear that they're telling the truth.

And it's so goddamn cold.

And he can hear his own internal bleeding.

And he's so, so tired.

So he tells them that no one would ever believe them. And he gets in the car. and he gives them Fogwell's address. And he tells himself he'll crash there for a day or two and fuck off to be homeless in the streets, peace and good-fucking-will to all mankind.

WHAT THE CASTLE FAMILY DID NOT SCHEDULE FOR THE DAY:

A kidnapping.

WHAT THE CASTLE FAMILY DOES:

It's. It's a kidnapping. They do a kidnapping.

Look. Look. they pay their debts. They pay their fucking debts. It's what they do. And they get to Fogwell's boiler room and rapidly fucking realize that the guy who they owe their everything to is a terminally stupid 20-something and living in the rundown boiler room of an empty gym. And they simply cannot have that.

Frank? Frank, show Matthew back to the car, will he? Maria's going to pack up his things for him.

Matt: what.exe

WHAT MATT DID NOT SCHEDULE FOR THE DAY:

it's.

It's the kidnapping.

it's that.

This fic is fundamentally founded in my premise that the entire Castle family is simply fucking insane. They're just all like that. Frank is not an outlier.

For the Castles, they're being perfectly reasonable. It's obvious that no one's taking care of this lovely young man who saved their kids, so no one will mind if they do it instead. He definitely needs it. So they sit their kids down and explain that sometimes Stockholm Syndrome is for someone's own good, which sounds perfectly reasonable to them. They then proceed to treat this like when you somewhat impulsively get a sick puppy from a Home Depot parking lot, and, well, he's a bit poorly behaved, and he keeps trying to run away, but the kids had wanted it so badly and eventually he's going to settle into his new home and then maybe you can stick felt reindeer antlers on him for the Christmas card, so you keep shoving his meds in peanut butter and forcing them down his throat and keeping the door blocked so the puppy can't slip out into the freezing new york night.

Matt treats this for what it is, which is a fucking kidnapping.

He is now fucking handcuffed to these crazy assholes' guest bed in their suburban home. It's by definition a kidnapping. they're acting like he's the unreasonable one for pointing this out. Except every time he wriggles out of his handcuffs, Frank just lugs his ass back to bed and chains him back up while they scold him. As if he's the unreasonable one for trying to escape his own kidnapping. They make him take his meds and eat three meals a day and the kids watch fucking Christmas movies with him while narrating the screen, as if this wasn't a kidnapping. This is insane. They're all insane.

Which is what he eventually tells them, out loud and to their faces.

And then Maria cries.

Stop.

Stop that.

That thing she's doing with her face. Stop that thing.

And Maria's like. Maybe they were over enthusiastic. But, being a mother, she just wants to take care of the nice young man who saved her little angels. And if that makes her a criminal, then she guesses she's a criminal. Because she cares.

Matt: shoving me into a van and handcuffing me to a bed against my will makes you by definition a criminal

maria: *cries harder*

Matt: stop

And Matt's like. Fine. Fine. He'll give into their crazy fucking kidnapping. Saves him the trouble of being homeless. Just. It's only until Christmas, and then he's gone.

maria, tearfully: and new years too?

Matt: don't push your luck

So fuck it. He's doing this now. But he's not going to like it. And he gets to come and go when he wants.

Frank: no.

matt: seriously fuck you

Except Matt's got shit they didn't pack at Fogwells. Shit they didn't realize belonged to him. His dad's shit. And he's absolutely desperate to get his dad's shit before some well-meaning janitor tosses it. So he very reluctantly agrees to let Frank go in his stead. Just. Just don't talk to people. And don't tell anyone he kidnapped matt. matt does not want to deal with that fucking court case.

Fogwell, immediately catching Frank gathering Matt's stuff for him, when he finds out that Matt sent him: are you a Nelson?

Frank, not a Nelson: Guilty.

And Fogs is just. Thrilled. So fucking thrilled that Matt has the Nelsons. Matt needs people like that, you know? People that'll welcome him home.

He's a good kid. And he hasn't had a home in a good long time. And Fogs--he's so fucking sorry that he couldn't give Matt that. And he. He.

Just tell him Merry Christmas from him? He understands why Matt didn't want to spend it with him.

Just tell him ol' Fogs was thinking of him. Tell him he really, really cares and hopes his holidays are good.

Fuck. Tell him he loves him. Just. Just tell him that. Fogs should have done it a long time ago.

What follows from there is a lot of wholesome, family-friendly Christmas activities, like:

making gingerbread houses

ice-skating

having a total mental breakdown when you get the message passed along from your pseudo-grandfather that he wishes he could have given him a home.

drinking cocoa

getting shit-faced drunk out on the town with the somewhat insane mother of those kids you saved, only to both be lugged home by a very exasperated Frank Castle.

watching Christmas movies

Visiting the grave of your dead father whose loss you've never recovered from

drinking eggnog

Confessing about your superpowers to the crazy fuckers who may or may not have given you stockholm syndrome, as well as your lasting trauma around the fact that you were child-soldierified and your soul-crushing terror that it will happen again

Making paper snowflakes

(Matt may not have meant to do all those things.)

I really like having backstories in communication with each other across my fics taking place in the same fandom? And Fogs is a great example of that. He tends to show up in all of my Daredevil fics, and he usually does something that brings Matt in from the cold in his backstory.

But in this world, that Fogs didn't do it.

In this one, he had the chance, and he failed.

Matt came to him. He ran away from the foster care system when he was a teen, and he went to Fogs as a desperate, last ditch effort. He begged Fogs to still love him the way he did when he was a kid. He begged Fogs to take him in the way he once took in Jack Murdock. He'd help Fogs around the gym. He'd do anything Fogs asked. He just wants to go home.

All he's wanted for years was to just go home.

And Fogs hugged him. He held him. He let him sleep on the couch.

And he called the police.

He wanted to do it the right away around, this time. He didn't want Matt to be hiding from the system for the rest of his youth the way his daddy once did. He wanted him to still get to go to school. He wanted him to be a kid. He wanted to adopt him proper, and didn't think of the fact that no one was gonna let him do it.

And he didn't account for how Matt would never trust him again.

He didn't account for Matt ending up on the streets, and he didn't account for matt refusing to come for him for help again, and he didn't account for Matt refusing to have anything to do with him until he hit law school and barely tolerated hanging around the gym at night again, and he didn't account for Matt not being able to stand the idea of spending the holidays with him.

There's a lot Fogs won't ever forgive himself for.

Anyway, Matt's stockholm syndrome was a great success. They fucking did it. They now have a crazy motherfucker with superpowers who's occupying this space as a the kid's new pseudo uncle. Unmitigated success. God, what an addition to the family. He's just as crazy as them.

Except Matt gets a call. From a very upset Foggy Nelson. Who says that they decided to burn the defunct bridge that was their relationship with their torrid bitch of a great aunt after she said something homophobic to Foggy's sister, and they went to go surprise Matt for the holidays, only to find out that he was already supposed to be with them. Matthew.

The thing is, foggy knows who Matt is as a person. He knows who Matt is as a person. There is such a very real chance that his blind best friend has been living under an overpass in subzero weather for the past few weeks and not telling him. He's having a heart attack and needs to come pick him up immediately before Matt starts selling his body or something.

And like, good news is that Matt was kidnapped by a lovely suburban family who have been keeping him warm and fed and dry, and they're going to be baking gingerbread today. The bad news is that Matt will literally have a heart attack if he has to explain to foggy how he got here so he just. Panics.

And hangs up the phone.

And matts panicking about how he hung up the phone, because foggy will absolutely call the police and report him as a missing person, holy shit will he call the police on him, Matt was literally kidnapped but he likes his kidnappers now and doesn't want them to be arrested, they're making gingerbread you see and that would be inconvenient to the gingerbread making. So Maria and Frank and the kids are watching this weird feral law student they forcibly adopted go through every single stage of grief in a two minute span, wonder how he made it through life so far on his own, and Maria wrangles the phone from him and calls Foggy back and politely tells him that this is Maria Castle, matts basically a part of their family and has been staying with them through the holidays, they've heard so much about foggy, won't he come visit? How about tomorrow at two? They're making gingerbread today.

Matt: MARIA

Matt is panicking. Foggy knows he doesn't have a family. Foggy is his family. Foggy has unlocked his tragic backstory. Foggy is going to wonder how he acquired a family in like a two and a half week span.

Foggy is panicking. He knows Matt doesn't have a family. He has unlocked matts tragic backstory. Matt was in their fucking Christmas cards because he has no family's Christmas cards to be in.

Maria is not panicking. They're taking a step back and making gingerbread now. Take deep breaths, Matthew.

FOGGY NELSON'S THEORIES ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HIS BEST FRIEND (ABRIDGED):

Matt has started a polycule with a suburban couple and is raising their children with them now.

Matt was switched at birth and that's his newly discovered real family and he just never told Foggy.

Matt has been kidnapped by a family in the suburbs and they've enslaved him to make gingerbread with their children.

Which is true, weirdly enough.

Matt is having a spiraling panic attack because while he's like, not on deaths door anymore, he's still healing and clearly beat to shit and foggys going to think the castles did it and freak out and he doesn't have a lie for this prepped. And the castles are like "okay okay but, quick point, you've even prattling on about this kid for like, a minimum of four hours per day, you are more likely than not in love with him, have you considered the truth"

And Matt doesn't know what to do with that, is the thing.

Foggy comes by. He is four hours early. He arrived immediately after he got the address. Maria is lovely and kind and welcoming. Frank pumps his arm firmly and is built like a brickshit house and sort of intimidating.

Matt is absolutely beat to shit.

Matt is absolutely beat to shit.

Foggy: AHAHAHA HEY BUDDY IMMA GIVE YOU A HUG BECAUSE I MISSED YOU AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH IN THIS THE SEASON OF GOODWILL AMONG MEN. did they do this to you cough twice for yes

Matt: oh for the love of god.

And the problem is. For a family that commits felonies. They're weirdly open about that fact.

Foggy: how did Matt end up staying with you

Lisa: oh we gave him Stockholm syndrome after kidnapping him

matt: ahahaha kids say the darndest things

Frankie: no really dad kept having to drag him off the windowsill when he tried to climb out and we had to be extra welcoming to him so he'd stop trying to escape

Matt: AHAHAHA KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS

Foggy told his cop friend Brett to be on standby before he came here and now he's rapidly wondering if he needs to actualize that.

There's a good deal bit more after that, but this is getting long. There's emotional honesty. There's homosexuality. There's confessions about superpowers that Matt may or may not have. There's discussing trauma.

There's the fucking shadow government showing up to recruit Matt.

The thing is that Frank Castle is one of the best military operatives, like. Ever. And SHIELD was interested in recruiting that. And they thought, hey, saving his kids may do that. And they sent Hawkeye to infiltrate the mercenaries that had taken them.

Except they were fuck-off guns there and while he could take them all out if it was just him, he'd have to be 90% crazier of motherfucker than he actually is to try that shit with two kids in the line of fire.

And then an absolutely crazy motherfucker showed up and did exactly that. Caught his arrow mid-backflip. Kicked his ass too. It was sort of sick as hell. He hasn't met anyone so good at hand to hand since black widow.

They couldn't not recruit that guy.

And like. They found him. They found him really easily. The castle family kidnapped him. It was kind of obvious.

So Clint and Coulson roll up with the recruitment pitch and Clints like "hey, haha, I'm Clint, you stabbed me, wow you're like, completely insane, I mean that literally and in a figurative impressiveness sense, want to be best friends" and matts a fucking centimeter from launching himself out the window and starting a new life in Mexico.

And coulson's good at what he does. He can tell that matts not at all buying what he's selling, is more than a little freaked out at the idea of being identified as enhanced, and is almost definitely a former child soldier if their background was accurate about who took him from his orphanage for a few months. He also knows that Matt's abilities are too unique and too useful to just walk away from them. Nothing can be hidden from him. And if a fucking nuke is missing and they need someone to sniff it out, they need to be able to set Matt loose on a city for it. So he makes the pitch of "what if I keep you out of all databases, tell no one your name, and have you as a strictly as needed member of the roster," to which Matt replies with something along the line of "you can go and get fucked with you fascist shadow agency bullshit, you fucking totalitarian nightmare freaks, you try and drag me off to your freak show org to be a fucking dog on a leash for your illegal agency and I'll bite your goddamn face off, the world would have to end for me to come within a hundred godforsaken feet of you," which is… a coarse but technically affirmative answer that Coulson takes to mean as "Yes, if the world is ending, I will come to your agency." He honestly tells him that he'll keep matts secret and leaves. And Matt is still considering the Mexico plan but decides that he has a family to keep him here now in foggy and the castles and decides to risk staying. And that's that.

Which leads into my semi-crack fic of Matt being in the original Avengers, which I won't subject you to here. but some highlights:

Matt misses the first day of world-saving because he took off the second the SHIELD guy came by to pick him up. He managed to hide for 27 consecutive hours before they dragged his ass to the helicarrier.

He wasn't briefed at all because they ask him if he read the files they gave him and he just tosses them on the table and asks "does this look like fucking Braille to you." He repeatedly threatens to sue them for a lack of ada compliance.

He keeps getting stuck in rooms because this nightmare space ship only uses screens for everything, including door handles.

The hulk: *is the hulk*

Matt, has a stick: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT

Tony: in a few minutes I'll know every secret SHIELD has ever had

Matt, has listened to at least eight top secret HYDRA meetings since being locked into this fucking hell ship: MHMM

They save the day, he's in a mask, the press asks them all whats next for the avengers and he's like "well I have a day job, I'm going home" and just. Walks away.

Three weeks later he starts fighting crime of his own volition and whenever anyone mentions hey is it maybe that avenger fellow he replies to the official inquiries with "oh no you see I have a day job" which should not work but does

Of course, Matt learning about HYDRA leads into my other semi-crack fic involving Matt simply immediately telling Captain America about the fucking Nazi's, and Cap rediscovering his life's passion, which is punching some fucking Nazi's. Except, he really needs Matt to spy on HYDRA for this to work, and Matt's identity is still almost entirely secret even within SHIELD and he doesn't want to endanger that. So they embark on introducing everyone to Matt Murdock, his totally normal, blind attorney boyfriend who is not at all a superpowered ultimate spy who happens to be secretly a very reluctant Avenger. It is now a fake dating AU.

[trippinsorrows]

Ari I swear I love LTYE so freaking much 😭 to me it's just so perfect. Cause we have the main story right? Dark, difficult, beautiful, it's own world. And then all the tiny little worlds 🥹 where a lot of "mundane" things happened and it's the most amazing thing ever, cause we're over here discussing custody agreements between Roman and Solana like ???. And I love we have both cause I love to wonder about so much things about the OG story, with its specifications but then we can "relaxed" talking about Roman driving the kids to school 😂. I really feel the possibilities are endless and I love it! Maybe is my ADHD 😭 but the way I need to consume all this RoSo...

Am I consuming LTYE or is it consuming me? 🫣 either way I'm soooooo happy you're here, sharing this amazing story with us and letting us imagine things (we do tend to get carried away some times 😂 that's why there's 4847392 AU), and engaging so nicely with us 💜💜💜💜

I swear some times I feel sad people are missing these amazing characters 😭 they would give twilight, the hunger games, and any book saga a run for their money any day of the week. I said what I said.

Okay, have a good day sis 💜

well, this just might be the one thing that's completely made my day today 😭😭😭 i know i'm annoying because i say this shit all the time, but i truly never expected ltye to become what it has. i mean, it's still literally just a fanfic, but it feels like so many of you like/enjoy/don't hate it, and that's just the coolest thing to me. 😭 cause, again, i know i'm irritating, but ya'll know i wasn't even going to post this story. i thought ya'll would find it weird/too heavy/too much, which is fair, cause i know it's a lot 😭😭😭 but the fact that we not only have the og story, but all these damn au's because of ya'll, readers and mutuals, is literally the coolest freaking thing ever! 😭😭😭 like, i'm always so baffled.

chile, atp, idek. i think it's a mutual consumption. 😭😭😭 i'm so freaking happy to have found this community and this lil space we have here! it's so fun and light, and we chit chat and joke, and just have fun. no drama. no mean girl energy. just us chilling, and i loveeee it. 🥺🥺🥺

as far as that last part, idk about all that, friend. 2008/2009 ari was obsessed with twilight. like that was my shit. 🥺

thank you, thank you, thank you, friend for such a kind, wonderful message 🥺🥺❤️❤️

[harleyification]

I've been in a Batfamily mood again, and now I wanna remake my Moon Knight x Batman crossover AU cause it has been rotting my brain since November and THIS was the only thing I have ever made for it, asjdksajdkla

(Based off of this post)

Some details, to let my Brainrot Out:

Listen, I know we all love adding our favorite characters into the Batfamily because that group ABSOLUTELY needs more trouble and unhinged behavior, but like. This isn't just adding another kid into the family. This is adding Marc, Steven, AND Jake.

Why does every crossover character have to be the youngest addition?? Why Not the OLDEST addition?? Revoke that Eldest Child License from Dick, imagine THIS: Marc would be around three years older than Dick, and while he would be Bruce's second ward, he would throw that shit around like the law. "Well, I'm older, so I get to pick the first character for Mario Party, and screw YOU, *I'M* choosing Peach!" type behavior

Dick: "Well, Bruce adopted me first so I was here before you, I get to play Peach!!"

Bruce is having a hard time figuring out how to go about this

Marc/Steve/Jake all adore Dick and would die for him. Killing is off of the table, unfortunately.

Everyone is supportive of Steven and Jake, treating Marc’s alters with respect! I love the idea of Bruce or Alfred giving them a journal so that they can keep up with which alter did what that day, and Dick giving them different colored bracelets so that they can tell which alter is fronting at the moment. The three of them actually having parental and sibling support, can I get a HELL YEAH!!

Marc/Steven/Jake being adopted by billionaire Bruce Wayne after running away from home and not having any upfront memories of how he got to Gotham, but knowing that he doesn’t want to go back to his abusive mom and his negligent dad. Emergency Custody is a hell of a drug!

I have no idea how stuff goes down until Jason gets taken in, so consider this instead: Jake and Jason arguing about the morality of killing. Steven and Jason reading together. Marc and Jason doing competitive training. Think about it. Let the thoughts infest you.

Marc and Jake: "I'm not doing free babysitting!"

Steven: "I will, though!"

Steven and Alfred bonding while cooking and Steve is infodumping about his current research project, doN'T TOUCH ME

Cass joins the family early too, because I say so. And Cass wouldn't need the bracelets to see who is fronting in that moment, she would KNOW, and she will either: pester Marc, love on Steven, or pester Jake.

Cass would adore Steven.

We don't talk about the big explosive Elephant in the Room just yet, nope, so instead consider this: Tim coming in and realizing that Moon Knight really is just Like That. Marc would say, "Another one?? Really??" Steve would say "This one is smart and adds onto my research and just spoke to me for 8 hours straight about arthropods, I have found my new real brother", Jake would say "He's a little stalking freak, I like him already"

Jake and Damian is a brotherly match made in hell. Watch the fuck out.

Just. Just Listen to me...just listen...why wouldn’t a morally grey vigilante by the name of Moon Knight NOT fit the bat motif???

Also, Marc/Steve/Jake would get the Moon Knight powers either as a meta-human with a connection to the Egyptian god, Avatars being able to be chosen at birth, or getting them super early through weird means! I think it'd be neat!

Thank you for listening, I hope I gave you Moon Son brainrot

[ao3gobi17]

I would love to see Q over indulge spiders multiverse counter parts. What about a spider that doesn't like Quaritch at all but loves wainfleet. Like he clings to him like a koala bear. So irritating but he's so adorable and too old to be acting like that. He only speaks Spanish and doesn't know any English or Navi but he loves to make fun of his bald head and has a horrible habit of biting people.

Or what about a spider (multiverse) who is a history buff and just asks Quaritch and wainfleet questions about their service and he acts like it's the most amazing thing he's ever heard. He loves to smell them at any random point in time. And he's not sure about it either, just loudly sniffing the men like crazy. No one knows why he does it.

Or what about a multiverse set of spiders that all gang up to protect custody spider? Like they don't allow anyone to get near custody spider? They shove people away or throw things at them and the such?

Those would take a lot of different reactions! For the first Spider, Quaritch would brushing up on his Spanish asap - Custody-Spider would have a leg up on that, but Lopez also speaks Spanish, so they wouldn't be able to have too many secret conversations. Depending on what point in Custody timeline this is, Wainfleet's reaction might vary to being the favoured one! And the biting thing wouldn't go down well with anyone (I'm assuming this Spider is a wild-child in general, raised in the jungle vibes) so it would be interesting seeing where Custody-Spider has an alliance with new-Spider and where he's almost on the recon's side trying to handle this kid. Q would probably be a bit less jealous of W because it's not specifically his Spider too.

I think the sniffing thing would freak the recoms out - especially if this Spider seems otherwise normal and doesn't provide an explanation! If it wasn't for the sniffing they'd probably enjoy his enthusiasm and Q would read it as new-Spider trying to bond with him, so he'd welcome it. I think he'd tolerate the sniffing more if it was just him and it was in the context of having a hug or something.. because he'd read it as Spider looking for comfort. But Spider just randomly sniffing people would weird them all out, including Custody-Spider!

And lastly, it would be interesting depending on what time all these Spider's appeared at. I think it would really throw Quaritch - he'd be like 'a threat coming between me and Spider: eliminate' and then 'oh wait, these are basically my son from another reality, what am I supposed to do?' lol. (And what he would do is try and capture them all like Pokemon haha). <3

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

105 of 2025

When was the last time you climbed over a fence?

When I was younger and still had a good hand.

Does your pet wear a collar?

Victoria used to wear a collar with a green bell. Susie never did.

What is the first thing on your Christmas Wishlist?

It's past Christmas already.

What would you do if your mom/dad saw a hickey on you?

Mum would freak out, dad would laugh.

What goal are you working on this month?

Reading more books.

What could you say is your biggest time waster?

Watching TV. Definitely.

When was the last time that you were asked out somewhere, and you declined?

When some stranger invited me to his house. You just don't do it in Belgium. It's not in our nature to invite strangers.

If you’re listening to music, name a lyric from the song.

"I made a god out of blood Not superiority I killed the king of deceit Wake me up in anarchy"

Are you a sound sleeper?

I'm a light sleeper. I almost always remember my dreams and it's pretty easy to wake me up.

In your opinion, which is more attractive, nice biceps or washboard abs?

Nah. I'm not into muscular bodies.

How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts?

Whatever, to each their own.

Why do you hate your ex?

I don't hate anyone.

Does anybody hate you?

It's likely, but I just truly genuinely don't give a crap.

Trust issues?

Always.

If you were pregnant, who would you tell first?

Have you ever heard of any case of a pregnant AMAB person? We're not that advanced yet.

Do you think that you’re good enough for the one you like?

Yea. He chose me, after all.

Did you speak to your father today?

I sent him a message.

What is your father’s middle name?

He doesn't have a middle name.

When was the last time you had alcohol?

Probably two years ago.

Last person of the opposite sex you gave a hug to?

Jasmine.

Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch?

Yes, in a shop. She was Wiccan, if I remember well.

What’s the weirdest thing in your body that you can crack?

I can crack and dislocate everything, even my hips.

Do you know anyone with asthma?

Not in person, unless I'm unaware of something.

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before?

No, thankfully.

Who was the best kisser you’ve ever dated?

I don't care about kissing.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other?

I don't think so.

Are your siblings nice the majority of the time?

Always.

Any other names your parents planned to give you?

My dad wanted to name me Joris, and I wouldn't mind. If I was a girl, I would be Julie, Rosalie or Natalie. Ultimately, the name Julie was given to my sister.

Are you healthy?

I'm physically disabled and I have a neurological disorder and a genetic connective tissue disorder that causes a lot of symptoms, including vision problems. I wouldn't call it "healthy".

Number of jeans in your closet?

I didn't count them.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa?

Gaga proved recently that she can sing indeed, so let's go with her. On the other side, I admire Rihanna for protecting the privacy of her kids. Not like some celebrities who sell photos of other children to glossy magazines.

Which was the last book that really captivated you?

Nala's World. It's that book about bike traveller who found a kitten in Bosnia and adopter her, and since then, she's his company in every travel. I'm really waiting for a second part.

Do you prefer nail polish with sparkles in it, or matte colors?

I don't really care about nail polish.

Have you ever had a teacher you got really close with?

Nah, I don't think so.

Can you actually picture yourself getting married/having kids, or is that something that seems too distant in the future to imagine?

I'm married already. I hav a stepson, that's enough for me.

When’s the last time you spent time with your cousins?

Last year, we met up in summer.

What’s your younger sibling’s name?

Julie.

Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have?

I already have a profession of my dreams, 10 years and counting. I've always wanted to have something to do with trains.

Do you ever pick up your house phone?

We don't have a landline.

Is your sister a slut?

Lol what a question. No, she's not. Actually the opposite.

Do you ever think about what went wrong in your first relationship?

The person was wrong, period.

If you had to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get?

I already have enough piercings for my liking, but I would love to have some microdermals, if it counts.

If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?

No one, ew.

If you woke up naked next to the last person you texted what would you say?

Jesus fucking Christ. I texted my dad, ffs.

Ever been kissed under fireworks?

Probably, but I never paid much attention to it.

How would you react if a doctor told you that you were infertile?

I would be over the moon happy. I already suspect it, though.

Do you get along with your best friend’s parents?

I don't know his parents, they're deceased.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you didn’t get along with the person’s parents?

No.

How many people of the opposite sex have you said “I love you” to?

My mum, my sister, some of my friends. That's it.

The person you fell the hardest for says they never felt anything for you. What do you say?

I don't think I've ever been in a situation where I would "fall for someone hard". At least not in romantic sense.

Who was the last person to tell you that they find you attractive?

Hahaha lol. Good joke.

What was the last compliment you paid to someone of the opposite sex?

I just said she was pretty. That's it.

How often do you listen to music?

Every single day.

Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend?

Lol no. It's toxic.

Is the person you last texted single?

No, he's my dad and he's married to my mum.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without their shirt on?

Would be strange if I didn't see my own spouse naked, right?

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?

No, but he always finds the reason to complain.

Has the person you like ever made you upset?

Many times lol. It's in his nature.

Scenario: If you were getting unwanted attention by some creeper, would the person you like stand up for you?

Most likely. I hope so.

Does the person you like, know that you like them?

Of course. We're married.

When angry, do you get loud or quiet?

Rather quiet. I tend to ignore everyone then.

Have you ever been in a secret relationship?

I think so, only my sister knew.

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror naked?

Pff no. I don't like my reflection at all, let alone naked. I don't dance either.

Are your grandparents still alive?

No, they're not.

Ever been in a car accident?

Yeah, but nothing serious.

If you got married to the last person you kissed would you be happy?

It already happened a few years ago.

Do you like any of Justin Bieber’s songs?

Nah. I'm not interested in him.

Do you believe saving your virginity for marriage or no?

To each their own. I don't judge.

When you were a kid, did you ever like Barney?

What is Barney?

When was the last time you kissed someone?

Today morning.

What’s the capital of wherever you live?

Brussels.

Did you have any beer this past week?

No, but I miss beer so much.

Have you ever had champagne? Did you like it?

Yeah, I did. I love it, but real champagne is not that cheap.

Do you like to cuddle?

Nah. I really have to be in a mood for it.

Do you think you’ve changed over the past year?

Yea, hopefully for better.

[kits-ships]

ok im gonna infodump about lunette's backstory.

themes of child neglect, robbery/break-ins, bribery, panic attacks, the legal system, trauma, etc.

i promise i didnt originally mean for her backstory to end up so. tragic(?)

so lunettes parents were the top two coordinators in sinnoh + they LOVED being a celebrity couple. they didnt really want kids, but lunette ended up being born so they begrudingly took two years off to start raising her. they eventually decided that parenting was boring, though, and they started to hire a nanny so they could go back to being stars + making money.

when lunette turned six, however, they decided that she was now a preteen (because they figured it was socially acceptable to leave a preteen home alone, right? even if she was only six???) that way, they didn't have to pay for someone to watch her AND they could go back to doing whatever they wanted. needless to say, lunette hated it. she didnt like being in a huge manor by herself, and it didnt help when her parents gave her pokemon to 'protect her'. a pichu and an eevee were rare and expensive gifts, sure; but they were just babies. lunette was a baby raising babies.

fast forward to when she was eleven, lunette is still being left at home for weeks at a time, struggling to provide for herself despite help from her neighbors and teachers. they bring her meals, teach her the life skills she needs, but they can never manage to convince anyone in power to help her; its too easy for lunette's parents to pay people off.

one night, however, the house is broken into and robbed, and the responding officers find lunette terrified as she hides in a cabinet with lightning + dolly. she wasn't harmed, but seeing an armed stranger shatter the living room window was not good for the ole noggin. her parents take her to the doctor. once. and then decide shes fine

four years later, she meets her grandparents by chance. they were somewhat estranged from her mom and dad due to their conceited personalities, but they'd decided to visit since they were in town. (this is the first time she meets cynthia too!) her grandma asks where her parents are, and this eventually snowballs into "oh. yeah. theyre like never here. i saw them last month though" and "yeah sometimes im so scared that i cant breathe but isnt everyone?" (no)

her grandparents react like any responsible adult would. they fucking freak out (but not around lunette)

luckily THEY have money from their jobs as archaeologists, and manage to cancel out any bribes her parents try to make. they first go to court to get her parents jailed for child neglect, then go back to get custody of lunette. her parents are also hit with charges for bribing officers, judges, etc. by now, its too late for her to bounce back from sixteen years of neglect, but her family gets her therapy throughout the process, at least!

no amount of counseling, however, will ever help her forget the look on her moms face when she told lunette 'if this gets out, you will have ruined our family and everything we've worked towards." awesome. so, instead of using their money to help lunette as she enters adulthood, they use it to bury court records and to silence news outlets, leaving their daughter with nothing but an immense sense of guilt accompanying her trauma.

because of all this, she cant even comprehend the damage they did to her, and lunette outright refuses to talk about her parents. she also refuses to talk about her mental health! sure, shes terrified of being alone and itll cause panic attacks, but she does everything in her power to suppress her emotions around the media/press. she can come up with every lie in the book to cover for any slip-ups, and denies any potential sponsorships that involve being a mental health 'ambassador.'' NO pokemon-equivalent of betterhelp for her, thanks. she'll just wallow in her feelings by herself. it hurts too much to face

[amorhedera6]

no scratch my battle of the bands au lemonade mouth nerdy prudes au!!!!!!!!!!!!!

steph is charlie, our drummer. she’s under a lot of pressure from her dad to do the right thing, be the right person. he’s had her on the soccer team her whole life, even though she fucking hates it. she’s played drums since she was a kid, when a music teacher caught her adhd ten miles away and suggested using the sticks to stim. it’s her passion, but her dad doesn’t give a shit.

ruth is stella, lead guitar. her family just moved for her dad’s job, and her mom is pressuring her to be more behaved at a new school. she’s never fit in with her family’s traditional values, the young housewife, concerningly older husband, five kids, stay at home mom, purity, misogynistic shit. her parents refused to buy her a guitar so she slowly stole from her brothers allowance for years until she had enough to buy her own.

richie is wen, keyboardist. he learned to play classical piano as a kid with his mom, but he hasn’t played ever since his dad died a few years ago. he’s still dealing with his grief but his mother as figured out how to manage hers and found a new boyfriend, and he’s not dealing with it well.

grace is mo, the bassist. she comes from a very strict christian family, who would never let her play music like that. she plays the chello in the school orchestra, aces all her classes, everything. she’s scared to deviate from her family’s plan for her. not because she doesn’t believe in god, but because she wants to be a regular american teenager.

which leaves peter as olivia, our lead singer. he was in dance classes a kid and had an absolute breakdown freak out of stage at a school dance recital, which left him relentlessly bullied his whole life. he writes music as an escape but would never consider singing for anyone else. he’s got severe performance anxiety. he lives with his older brother, and has since he transitioned at 11 and his parents threw him out. recently, his mom has been trying to get back in touch with him.

the rival band of mudslide crush becomes jäeger and the man, with max in the lead. kyle and jason are back up, and the three are all also football stars, making for rulers of the school. jason has been flirting with grace semi-innocently (for the standards of anyone but her) for a little while, and she’s going along with it bc she’s having a crisis of self.

on ruth’s first day, she gets in trouble for calling the principal a sexist motherfucker. the same day, steph loses her cool and chucks a soccer ball at the head of a girl who was bullying hannah foster, the only freshman who made it on the varsity team. jason keeps grace in the hallway after the bell rings to try and ask her out, but she freaks out and gets caught in the hall running away from him. richie called a teacher stupid. peter gets caught having lunch in a custodial closet.

which leads all of them to detention. the music room they are sentences to has an ancient rickety lemonade machine just outside. a can for a quarter: ziggy’s lemonade.

the music teacher, miss holiday, is running their detention and leaves them with cleaning suppies and a room full of instruments. steph starts drumming on the desk, and richie tosses around some keys he’s putting away. ruth recognizes a rhythm between the two, domino effect, and they start playing some of the instruments. steph sits at the drums, and ruth picks up a guitar. richie and grace are both hesitant, richie for having not played in a while and grace for not wanting to get in any more trouble than she needs to, but they both join. they make a nice beat and peter finds himself singing in front of someone other than ted since he was a kid.

miss holiday returns and tells them they are a fantastic band, which leads them to all scatter and i is it they aren’t even really musicians. she pushes them to consider trying out for the rising star competition at the honey festival. they all deny, but ruth pushes them to give it a try.

they do so, but it doesn’t work out immediately. it takes them a little time to find their sound, but boy do they find it. ruth signs up to perform at homecoming, splitting the show time of jäeger and the man in half. they’re pissed, and max starts terrorizing them. they all band together to stand up for each other, and steph ends up spitting some of her lemonade at max when he’s attacking pete, and he calls her “lemonade mouth”

not great as far as insults, but band names? it’s one of the best.

they’re scheduled to perform at homecoming, but peter has a panic attack and locks himself in a bathroom stall. they coax him out and they do perform, to so much cheering. they sing a song that peter wrote (determinate) and get halfway through a song with ruth’s lyrics about rebellion and shit when the principal shuts them down.

everyone fucking loved them though. there was a kid who recorded the set and made it into a cd, which sells like crazy. at one point richie peter and ruth are hanging out at peters apartment and hear their song on the radio. they call steph and grace and all get so excited, and then get offered a standing once a week set at pizza pete’s.

everything’s going well, and they even think they might win rising star, when it all falls apart for them separately. richie finds out his mom is engaged and loses his mind, tries to run out of the house, and runs directly into max. he provoked him and comes out with a black eye. steph breaks some of her fingers in a fit of frustration (slammed them in drawers she was slamming on accident). grace gets super sick just before the competitions and ruth is more concerned with the fact that the lemonade machine is being removed than the competition.

pete suggests to steph maybe just giving up, and she gets mad at him for not caring. he says he never even wanted to do this, and when she asks why, he yells at her that’s it’s because he’s been into her for years. he loses his voice in the process and goes home. ruth calls them all to come protest the removal the ziggy’s machine, which gets them all arrested.

steph’s dad is pissed, ted thinks it’s hilarious, richie’s mom and him have a heart to heart about emotions and being a teenager, ruth gets saved when her older brother picks her up instead of her parents. grace is in real trouble, but confronts her parents about how being reckless and having fun with friends doesn’t mean she hates god. she can be a christian and still have a life, and they agree.

the rising star competition is a joke, max’s band kills it, and they can’t even really perform. but they try, and when they fail, hannah foster in the crowd stands up and starts singing determinate. everyone joins her, even doing the dance that they preform with it. they’re a real band, even if they didn’t win rising star.

they keep playing at pizza petes for a while, all the while writing songs. steph and pete get together, and grace realizes she’s aromantic. ruth gets a gf who’s a fan of the band, richie finally gets the courage to ask out long time crush, trevor, who works at the cineplex. richie’s mom marries her boyfriend, where steph finds herself, on total coincidence, sat next to ziggs.

ziggs is the friend of the girlfriend of richie’s uncle, which somehow led to an invite to the wedding. they talk to steph about a lot, including the band. the group talks them into donating a shit ton of money to the school to save the arts department.

while continuing on and preforming, they get found and offered a record deal. they make an album and release it just as they finish high school. it goes absolutely viral. they shoot ip the charts and make so much money. in less than a year of the band being formed, they’re selling a sold out show to madison square garden.

peter writes a letter to his mom explaining how it all happened, and explaining that he appreciates the attempt but has no desire to stay in contact with her. they he goes to msg and performs his music with his people.

[king-of-bottoms]

As a millennial who has been walking with my friends and by myself to do who the fuck knows what and probably that too since I was in elementary school... finding out it is now basically a crime to let your kids walk to school or walk back from school, even if you walk with them... it's appalling. The video even mentions moms being in legal trouble over letting their kids play outside in their own backyard, while she was watching through the window.

Loads of parents are super paranoid that something horrid is going to happen to their kids, even when there is loads of evidence to the contrary and they just sound like complete nutters talking about child abduction. Your biggest concern is them getting hit by a vehicle! That's your second biggest concern as an adult after heart problems!! CARS IS THE PROBLEM! For pretty much everyone! Specifically, SUVs- the worst personal vehicle ever invented IMHO.

<tangent> I really really HATE SUVs. And they are the most likely to be in a collision of any kind, most likely to kill someone when a collision occurs, and the worst when it comes to gas consumption. </tangent>

We know helicopter parenting is bad for kids. I've known adult Gen Z people who are treated like children by their parents and are heavily monitored. I had no idea it had gotten so bad that NOT being a helicopter parent meant you could get jail time.

I don't know what to say other than I didn't realize it was a problem until I watched this video, despite being like aware of it from having babysat and witnessed various parents (mainly Gen X parents but some millennials) hover over their kids and monitor their every behavior.

No wonder everyone is so socially awkward and mentally ill in the younger generations. Abusive control freak parent behavior is the fucking norm, and being a normal parent with healthier parenting styles can cause you to lose custody of your child. WTF, America.

[cator99]

If you ever want to see the most entertaining combination of human beings imaginable just go to a mcdonalds on christmas this place was filled with single dads who have custody of their kids for the afternoon but realized they didn't have any food in their bachelor suites for their sad eyed little well-dressed (mom dressed them) however also ill-prepared (dad has them) one-shoe-wearing accidents and they're standing in between two crackheads having an unintelligible argument in crack speak who suddenly lunge towards the scared chidren and these dads who have no protective instincts whatsoever are just staring at their phones watching PUA instagram reels while the crackheads yell at their children like Don't look at me you freak you Dumb little Freak what are you looking at don't Stare At Me Fuck You as he's pulling a roll of tin foil out of his pocket and there's a woman trying to bring rabbits on leashes into the lobby but it's just so packed and she's visibly concerned that they'll get trampled by crackheads and then there's a horde of ubereats delivery men shoved in the corner contemplating suicide and some teenagers who are probably cousins who just want to catch up with each other away from their insane family but they're quickly regretting their choice of hangout location but stay anyway because it's the one place where vaping won't get them kicked out because the workers are just glad that it's not crack smoke for once and in between all of this I am standing there thinking about how I only came here because my sister tried to call me and I told her I couldn't pick up because I was at McDonald's so I figured I would just go to the McDonald's anyway because I love looking at all the weird people who are walking around outside alone on christmas and I love being one of them as soon as I left my house I saw a rather normal looking man dejectedly kicking at the snow and grumbling with his head hung down low shoulders hunched up high in his gay ass puffer jacket hands shoved in his pockets as if he was trying to rip through them... incredible to witness the true spirit of christmas on display with such clarity...

[steveshairychest]

I need to know your ftm pregnant Eddie hcs for reasons...not because it's all I've been thinking about lately...nope not at all (if you don't have any hcs tho that's fine it's just. A Concept)

hi !! sorry it's taken me so long to answer this but I do have some hcs!!

Obviously, Steve is the baby daddy, but Eddie doesn't tell him straight away because he's terrified. He never imagined himself as a dad, he doesn't know how Steve will feel about it bcs they've never even talked about it before, and he just goes round and round in circles freaking himself out. Steve finds the positive pregnancy test in the bin and practically squeals all the way to their room. "EDDIIIEEE!! IS THIS REAL?!" And every ounce of worry melts out of Eddie when he sees the happy tears that stain Steve's cheeks and the way he bounced on the bed in front of Eddie excitedly, his smile so contagious. "Yeah, we're gonna be dads." He says softly and Steve holds him so tightly.

Eddie craves the most disgusting things while pregnant. Sometimes Steve will wake up in the middle of night and realise Eddie's gone, only to find him watching late night reruns of bad reality TV while dipping pickles in the left over icecream tub. Steve sits down next to him and when Eddie tries to give him a kiss, his breath smelling of pickles and strawberry icecream, Steve leans back as far away as possible so he can't reach. "I love you, so much, but you're not kissing me with your pickle lips." Eddie laughs so hard he nearly pees himself.

When his due date starts to get closer, he starts to freak out a little bit because this is really happening they're gonna be dads they're gonna be responsible for a whole new life and he won't lie, he was scared. His uncle visited often and he could see these fears eating away at Eddie, Steve did his best to comfort Eddie but sometimes it was like talking to a brick wall. He gets so worked up in his own head he won't listen to anything else.

So, Wayne talks to him. He says, "Did I ever tell you about the day i found out you were being put into my custody?" Eddie shakes his head, his eyes glued to the bowl of cereal with orange juice instead of milk. "I was terrified. I'd never raised a kid before, i never thought I'd be a good dad. I'd panicked. I'd bought a bunch of those stupid parenting books, I asked the other mums in the park, 'what do 7 year old boys like to do.' And they'd all told me different things." Eddie leaned back in his seat, his hands resting on his belly, as he listened to his uncle.

"I nearly told them to find someone else. I was convinced I couldn't do it, but then there you were. Standing on my doorstep with the social services lady, you were missing your front teeth and you were wearing that dinosaur t-shirt you loved so much. And all that doubt was drowned out because you were such a bundle of joy. Do you remember, you shook my hand?" Eddie was crying now, but he laughed. "Every day since then has been the best day of my life, Eds, and i know for a fact you're going to be the best bloody dad. I'll be right here with you every step of the way." Steve had come home from work and found them both crying at the dining room table.

[purpleopossum]

Hey @beanlightbibblekeepflickbeanboss! Sorry it took so long to reply. I just kept meaning to day after day and never did. I really appreciate the offer, and will definitely take you up on it sometime! :) So lets talk about how somebody falls down the pipeline.

I always say that leftists are primarily focused on causes, while conservatives are primarily focused on the economy. It is not an exaggeration to say that most conservatives (at least the ones I know, and myself when I was one) fully believe that regardless of ANY social issue, a vote for a democrat is a vote for us all to starve to death after they wreck the economy and tax us into the ground. You know how a lot of leftists are really hostile toward conservatives because they think they want them to die? Yeah, conservatives think the same thing about leftists. Like, even if they like trans people, their argument would be that under a democrat the trans person would be unable to make a living, so none of it matters. My sister became INCREDIBLY hostile toward me when she thought I might vote for Harris, because she desperately needs that good Trump/Republican economy to put food on the table.

Her primary social media is Facebook. She says she's mainly on there for marketplace, but I know she doesn't only interact with that. Her husband is on reddit. He has said he doesn't believe in the moon landing and expressed belief in a bunch of other conspiracy theories, but he apparently often isn't serious and I can't tell because AuDHD, so idk. I also think she's always been the right kind of person to get preyed on in these things. She's REALLY religious. She didn't used to be, but she keeps getting more so over time. As in, she turned Mennonite for a while until the church she was going to fell apart. Her husband went with her but it was her own decision. These days, she keeps expressing opinions that I have only ever heard out of a literal Seventeenth Century Puritan, or maybe a conservative Catholic from 50 years ago. We have had many, many negative interactions with the medical industry, and they can't really afford to go to the doctor much anyway, and so she is highly distrustful of them and into alternative/holistic medicine. She has a homestead that she runs all her business from. You know what tends to lurk in farmy, holistic, religious, conservative, and mommy loops online? That's right! Turfs and alt-right people. She's always been arrogant (you know, the I'm-always-right-and-you're-always-wrong type), and somewhat bigoted, and I think these things were just in the right zone to ease her further Right without ever actually thinking about what she was absorbing. I can't deprogram her. There's no way. She's already been horribly nasty to me just off of what little I have said. I don't know what to do and I'm scared for her. She says these days that divorce shouldn't exist in any context. I don't know where she got this. Our dad was abusive, particularly to my mom and my sister, and our parents are separated. My mom only didn't divorce him because there wasn't enough proof of it, and she didn't want him to get any custody and be alone with the kids. All I can figure is that when my sister and her husband went through a rough patch, she thought about divorcing him, and twisted herself up in all these justifications and moralizations to convince herself not to. Anyway as far as her feelings on sexuality, I always remember the post I saw about why we all have to stick together, both the "normal seeming" lgbt people and the "freaks." "Because to a Homophobe, two men holding hands is the same as them having sex in the street" Well, for her, me wearing a pin or identifying as bi publicly is the same as if I had sex with a woman in her living room. Anyway, one time years ago I realized her son was left-handed. We had a fun conversation about it; I showed him how I was as well and explained what that meant. She called later, angry, because she, in the 21st century, had been trying to make him right-handed. Her justification was that I "have complained about how the world isn't set up for left-handed people" and that she was trying to make things easier for him. She couldn't keep on with it after that and everything is fine, but I always remember that when she pulls some bigoted nonsense. Talking to her is like entering an alternate dimension.

I'm Tired

For a long time I've said that I don't need a coming out. That I'm bi, but I won't ever date a woman (because I want a more traditional path out of life), so accepting that is just for me. I came out to my mom and my sister. My mom was great, for a conservative woman of her age... my sister said "No you're not" and not only blamed my time attending a woman's college (did not make me gay. In fact I hardly knew what gay people were at that time in my life) but also said that gay people don't exist. All lesbians are just either traumatized or predatory. I dropped the subject, and didn't argue. So I went back into my closet, though I told myself that I wasn't, and stayed there. I didn't realize that a glass closet is still a closet, and it's not much space in which to make a life. I have now been "out," staring through the walls of my glass closet, for many years. I have told myself that I don't envy the others dancing in the sunshine, that I want a husband, and kids born the ordinary way. A little while ago I bought a necklace from wal-mart, a little crystal butterfly that wasn't purposeful pride merch, it just happens to be pink, blue, and purple. I thought it was a bit silly, after all I don't need anything to proclaim my sexuality, I know it... but wow. I get it now guys! I get the appeal of the merch! It isn't obvious, kind of a "stealth" pride flag but it feels so good to wear it, especially since I can wear it around my sister without her knowing what it means. It takes the edge off when she says something insanely homophobic. I was at a Dollar Tree and they had Pride socks. I bought all of them. It felt amazing when the butch manning the counter lit up, talking excitedly about how she had already gotten those socks for herself and as gifts for her friends. I am 27 now; I know my own mind. I have dated only two men in my life, and slept with neither for purity culture/waiting for marriage/don't want to get pregnant out of wedlock reasons. I have also realized that having kids is not something that particularly appeals to me. I like kids, I wouldn't mind adopting, but I don't think I want to be pregnant. I don't even know if I would be a good parent with my mental issues. This removes the main reason I was really only looking at men. And also... I just want to date a woman. I want to possibly marry a woman. I have barely seen a single good m/f relationship in my entire life. I am getting sicker and sicker of listening to my sister's homophobia in silence (I have said things. You cannot argue with her. She is right and you are wrong. This is law) The glass walls are clear, but stiflingly tight. I want to break free. I told my mom, the only person I am actually, really out to, that my bisexuality isn't hypothetical anymore, that I think I might actually want to pursue a gay relationship. She took it... okay. I'm kind of worried that it's straining her acceptance to imagine me actually bringing a woman home. I'm 27 now. I know my own mind. God has been very good to me, guiding me and pulling me down the road to where I need to be, even when I resisted. He gave me the time I needed to get my life together and figure everything out. I am very grateful for all He has done, and I know that I just have to trust Him for the rest of the journey. I want to be the person He intended for me to be, and that means living as my whole self. I don't want to lose my family; they are all I have ever had, but it is their choice if they harden their hearts once they can't ignore the truth any longer. Anyway, I'm going to my first Pride event on Saturday! I don't know how it will go; I'm a little worried that a festival environment might not be great for my Autism/ADHD, but I don't know where else to find people, and I'm really excited!! I'm ready to leave my chrysalis and dance in the sun. Wish me luck!!! Happy Pride <3

[tibby]

well hello… I am but a humble jigsquad Guy thinking about… Amanda. so if you have any thoughts on uhhh mandy and small soft acts of kindness headcanons… that is all Thank U Sm…

i've been talking to my friends about mandy a lot these past few days so you're in luck! all of these are in jigsquad verse, because of course, and feature various dynamics:

amanda has a lot of food insecurity because she's spent most of her life never knowing if the next meal was guaranteed, so when they all go out to dinner she orders more food than she can eat at the time and brings home all her leftovers. she gets her own little fridge for them and the rest of her food.

the first time anybody really celebrates her birthday with her is when she turns thirty, and the guys make her a cake and give her gifts and lynn texts her to wish her a happy birthday too. it's A Lot and she gets pretty emotional and overwhelmed, and at first she's like What The Fuck Is This. but she's loved and safe and happy, and it's times like this when adam has his arm around her shoulder and he's teasing her for getting old (and god, she never thought she'd make it to thirty), that she's able to forget all the horrible things they've had to do for her to have this.

amanda loves to go with lawrence on his weekly grocery shop. it again feeds back into her food insecurity and having the comfort and security to know that she CAN get everything she wants and doesn't have to choose between crackers or cereal to survive off for the next week...it's nice. she gets to spend time with lawrence too which she enjoys more than she's willing to admit.

she has a photo adam took of them all at christmas wearing stupid matching sweaters (amanda and mark grumbled about it but adam is very persistent when he wants to be annoying and lawrence was like Yes Of Course My Darling <3 so they really had no choice) stuck to the wall next to her bed. other stuff is there too: her picture of venus, a napkin from the time she and adam were waiting for the others to arrive at dinner and they tried to draw out a graph to figure out the "mark the weird freak serial killer vs mark the normal-ish guy" math, the torn out cover of a cd booklet from a band that daniel matthews told her about, a pokemon card that diana gave her during one of lawrence's custody weekends. the note from a bouquet of flowers lynn sent her that reads can you please be a little more normal about this stuff? because of the time amanda broke in to leave some flowers on lynn's coffee table.

(amanda breaking into lynn's place to leave lynn gifts is a recurring them, much to lynn's dismay. she'll come home to an envelope of sexy amanda pictures on her bed (taken by adam. what's a few nudes between besties?) and be turned on, but also stand there wondering why amanda has to keep breaking in. it’s just weird.)

amanda doesn't really know what to do when in the presence of diana and corbett (especially as the girls get older and begin to wonder about the things their parents get up to) but she's sweet to them and lets diana paint her nails and buys corbett stuffed toys and leaves pastries for her and lynn whenever she does her old b&e routine.

amanda awkwardly tries to be a mentor to daniel after nerve gas house even though a. she's in no position to mentor anyone about anything ever and b. she played a role in the disappearance/murder of his father. he’s a smart kid so he knows that she’s definitely involved in the jigsaw killings but he also knows that amanda has been through hell and tried to keep him & laura safe and was genuinely distraught by everything xavier did, plus he’s able to understand that his father was the reason amanda began down this path in the first place. so he doesn’t turn her in, and she checks in on him occasionally after everything. invites him to thanksgiving and makes sure he’s staying out of trouble and is like “if you need anything, i have a doctor friend who can help you out” (lawrence is not aware of this). they talk music and she brings him mcdonalds and it's weird and uncomfortable but much like with lynn, daniel knows that amanda is trying.

one of her hobbies is sending hoffman fake news articles from websites like truesciencefax dot org and seeing what he'll believe.

fucking with hoffman generally speaking is one of her favourite things to do, but on the anniversary of angie's death she steals him a pack of cigarettes and her and adam will hang out with hoffman at the house all day to make sure he doesn’t fall back on drinking or get so depressed he starts massacring people. and they just kinda watch movies hoffman likes (top gun, the princess bride, air bud) and let him talk about his dead sister uninterrupted. and the three of them suck at emotions but it’s Enough and lawrence brings home pizza for dinner. something something mark hating amanda at first because angie was dead and here was this junkie, similar to angie in age and appearance and wasting her fucking life. but eventually it turning into “i couldn’t save angie but i can save amanda” something something.

amanda is used to running, to leaving before you get left. and lynn understands this without amanda having to voice it (because really, she never would anyway), and so she doesn't let it eat her alive when amanda keeps leaving her bed before the sun is up. she knows that she has to wait for amanda to come to her. that one day, she'll wake up, and amanda will be fast asleep beside her, dark hair littered with hazel flecks in the morning sun, a rare look of calm on her face. she just has to wait for the day amanda recognises her as a safe place to land.

[previouslynarnie]

absolutely no one asked but my tua season three wish list includes but is not limited to and in no particular order:

Diego continuously hunting Lila down to talk to her and trying to convince her to join his family, and finally when she can’t evade him because people are after her and trying to kill her, they talk while fighting them to the tune of Take a Chance on Me by ABBA

the siblings beginning to rectify leaving Vanya out throughout their childhood via going with her to a tattoo parlor so she can get a matching umbrella academy tattoo while Vanya grabs on to Luther’s hand (Luther because only he would be able to handle the agony of Vanya’s iron clutches) for moral support

sibling mall trip with Vanya and Allison pulling Five into a photo booth because why not (bonus if the rest of the brothers try to get in on it and cramp the already non-existent space in the booth, come on Luther) (added bonus if they each keep a strip of photos and argue over the best ones)

the siblings noticing and doing something about the signs that Five is breaking down and needs emotional and mental support from the trauma that is his life + a freaking hug how about one from each of the siblings with verbal affirmations (bonus if it’s a fam group hug with Luther’s arms around them and Five squashed in the middle of it all)

the siblings reverting to childish behavior bc Grace and Pogo don’t know them + Diego being salty bc Mom doesn’t know who I am and extra salty bc one of the sparrow kids notice it bothers him and rubs it in his face

Klaus being taken more seriously and getting the help and support he needs

Klaus and angsty Ben having their first conversation and it being the most awkward thing ever bc isn’t Ben supposed to be dead and seeing that this isn’t the case, isn’t Ben supposed to be... Ben??

the umbrella academy and the sparrow academy fighting each other, physically or verbally I have no preference

the umbrella academy and the sparrow academy fighting together

the umbrella academy and the sparrow academy being domestic and chilling with one another at the end of the season (i.e. movie night all snuggled up together in the living room eating popcorn having just survived hell and Reginald Hargreeves)

Five crying and/or expressing his emotions and being heard because he’s more than earned the right to grieve and process everything that’s happened and be loved

Allison getting joint custody of Claire + reunion scene + meet your uncles and aunt scene

Luther meeting Claire and her calling him “Spaceboy!”

Five meeting Claire and he receives his first hug in years + Claire teaching him about the trends and tech of today + Five being coerced to watch Claire’s favorite Disney movie and letting her sleep on his shoulder when she falls asleep on the couch halfway through + Allison covering them both with a blanket when she finds them both asleep

Five bonding with each of his siblings and getting the appreciation and recognition he deserves

Diego going to see Vanya play and bringing her a bouquet of flowers at the end of the concert

the siblings being super protective of Vanya when she meets someone new because a) they love her and b) remember when she dated a serial killer?

a post-credits scene similar to the Avengers in which the siblings are sitting together eating at Griddy’s Donuts or another donut joint if Griddy’s has already closed after they save the world and Five being the first to get sick and proceed to blink to the trash can and puke into it

maybe an episode where Five finally succumbs to his fatigue and just sleeps the day away in his room and despite the fact that there are things going on and they need his help, they let him sleep because he deserves to rest, damn it!!

bonus if there’s a big fight scene with all hell breaking loose with a badass song playing in the background and it keeps cutting to Five snoring soundly in his bed

Five fighting alongside his siblings

Five dancing with his siblings

any scene with any ABBA song playing but preferably a fight scene, I beg

to be continued (maybe I’ll write a fic of each scenario??)