#to be told I’m saying others cannot
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I love how fandom actually encourages you to vague, cause goodness forbid you actually disagree with a take on a fictional character where someone can see it. Even if you disclaim multiple times your intentions and how you don’t care if people like or dislike said character, you’re told how YOU feel about it.
#I’ve liked some incredibly fucked characters#the point is not is it okay to like them#it’s ‘’is this actually the devs intent and what are they implying about them’’#and if they actually think it’s an apt comparison that their players#are like the emperor#they need to go outside#undertale made the player actually an entity in the game#bg3 did not#and in a game that handles astarion so well#I doubt they don’t know how some of the emperors actions come across#and IF they are comparing those they can fuck off#the devs being they#it is not comparable what the emperor does#to playing the game#and honestly maybe I am wrong about the emperor#I’d have to see on my evil playthrough#and I’d be willing to consider that#but not when I’m told I’m condemning people for liking him#have not gotten attacked for yeeeeeeeaaaaaaars for liking villains#to be told I’m saying others cannot#it’s the same with the ascended astarion ending#you can like that one#you can be into that dynamic if you want#but don’t tell me it’s morally neutral or#not abusive#cause that’s not what the text says#even a dev commented on it#I’m saying I don’t think you’re necessarily reading the text and subtext right#not that you’re morally corrupt#in that ending astarion becomes the abuser and Tav becomes a slave it is a bad ending period
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lmaoooo found out today that my 2 “colleagues” (that’s honestly a too nice of a word for them) complained about me to our boss that apparently i don’t work hard enough and often just sit around doing nothing :)
#can you believe these backstabbing bitches??????#i am absolutely livid#like the audacity these bitches have who the fuck do they think you are???#and now my boss wants me to be more forthcoming towards them like bitch wtf??? why should i be nicer to them or help them knowing that they#talk so poorly about me behind my back????#they’re so full of themselves and act so childish#like they could’ve just come up to me and talked to me about it like adults but nooo they run to the boss lmaoo#no wonder the boss doesn’t care about keeping me if he’s told what a bad worker i apparently am#and i only found out what they said about me from our lead pharmacist at least she was nice enough to tell me the truth#and now i’m crying again goooodddd fuck this job fuck these bitches i don’t deserve this!!!!#like i try so hard and put in so much effort but they really have the audacity to claim i just sit around#well i wonder what they’re gonna do once i quit since they always complain that they already do everything it shouldn’t a problem for them#right?? :)#like this is honestly so crazy to me bc so many people have already quit recently bc the working hours are absolutely horrible and now these#2 are making everything even worse like i already didn’t like going to work there but now i absolutely loathe it#to work with people and act nice with them knowing they they’re spewing such bs about me#and one of them was so nice to me today like how fake can you be?????#at least have the decency so say those things to my face and not talk behind my back like a school girl#fucking cowards!!!!! i really cannot stand them anymore i need to apply for other jobs asap#but i’m so scared that i won’t find anything else#but this job is seriously damaging me both physically and mentally#god please please please let me find a better job where i’m treated with respect please please please#i can’t do this anymore#i hate how much i’ve cried bc of this job and these horrible people already#☁️
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And I’m standing ten toes down behind Eloise
#Ppl calling her feminism white feminism#like yeah for todays standards sure whatever#my feelings on Eloise are complicated but a lot of y’all’s feminism is whether u think Barbie was good and that’s how ur measuring Eloise#like this little girls girl shit is right next to thinking Barbie is a masterpiece is right next to saying here’s my 20 step skincare#routing but it’s for yourself not for men but also here’s how to walk and make eye contact to manipulate a man ;3#like It’s so funny how everyone was mad Eloise didn’t put action to the thoughts#which season 2 was all about btw like I feel like ppl also misunderstand the point of her character and what’s happening internally but diff#and now theyre saying she’s an asshole for shifting topics of convo within her group of peers#when that’s proof that she cannot assimilate the way y’all say she does?#like yuckk#Idk I feel like the visceral reaction to Eloise just feels like ‘if feminist why care about ur dad 🤨’#i was gonna say y’all want Eloise to cut off all ties with her family and start connecting to those of lower classes#but when she did anything CLOSE to that y’all STILL called her an asshole#also you know what you’re walking into when you’re watching bridgerton it was way too early to keep her there you KNOW that#but also also Penelope has been trying to find her niche and balance her family’s reputation with her ideals the entire time#and it does come off as hypocritical and self centered at times just as every single character on this show has!#i said Penelope I meant Eloise it still applies but whatever#anyways#yeah season 2 she came to the conclusion y’all did#that she wasn’t really about it and she should stick to high society#‘she was such an asshole this season’ bc she in fact does believe what she preaches and found ignoring it to be difficult#like y’all are just saying she’s a bad person no she was uncomfortable and response was to be snappy like hello#like this dramatic shift in her character is bc of the trouble she caused her family by trying to stand on business#like when it comes to interpersonal relationships Eloise suffers from the fact that not everyone comes to the same conclusions she does#like she told Benedict she can’t understand how nobody sees what she sees#but that’s not true a lot of people see what she sees#Cressida saw what she sees! what Eloise DOESNT understand is that other ppl come to diff conclusions with the same knowledge!#other ppl see the same thing and choose to flourish within the system no questions! bc they don’t have the privilege to do anything else!#THATS where she needs to grow! the obvious conclusion IS obvious but what to do after is mot the same or available to everyone!#but thats like. the most positive of my feelings towards her it is complicated I’m just being nice rn
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i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am
#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately#like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad#i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic#and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me#the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic#let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything#like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing#i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard#the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know#with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things#n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case#it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has.#the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others#this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate#its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences#its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control#ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship#we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people#so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there#ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere
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Being called confrontational when you can just clearly communicate without being rude is crazy to me. People are so afraid of conflict or being called out for shit they actually did when they meet someone who is actually honest with themselves they short circuit. Stay the actual fuck away from me.
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actually I’m gonna bitch here for a sec like WHY is being disabled so expensive like I have very good healthcare and thank fuck for rebates but !!! still!!!!
main bullshittery bugging me rn though is the absolutely unrelenting fatphobia (and so many layers of ableism) in anything to do with hashimotos
like it is FUCKING infuriating to have this constant rhetoric of “you have hashimotos?? here’s how to stop being so FAT and UGLY! (:” “here’s how to LOSE WEIGHT with hashimotos!!” “15 tips to drop 15 kilos!!!” “got hashimotos? comment HELP ME or dm to get access to my private HASHI WEIGHT LOSS group!!!” “best diets to lose weight with hashimotos!!”
even the ones that sneak this shit into otherwise decent resources you’ll have a good run of beneficial info punctuated by “oh you’re probably balding and ugly and fat but that’s okay!!! we EMBRACE body positivity here!! by bullying you into being skinny and fitting our beauty standards so you can finally love yourself!!!!” “link in bio for my best selling book HASHI HELL TO HEALED HEAVEN: HOW I SAVED MYSELF FROM BEING FAT AND BALDING AND UGLY AND TURNED INTO THE PERFECT THIN BEACHY BABE!” Violence violence violence murder maiming killing arson destruction FUCK
#it’s midnight thirty I’m tired I have a headache I’m gonna kill every single diet n beauty industry exec#I have mroe to say but I’m too low words now#like it’s fucking horrible and I’m on the OVERactive side of it all where I struggle gaining weight at all!! cannot even#begin to imagine just how unendingly torturous this all is for. yk. actual fat people#like it’s so hard to actually try and find any resources for myself bc all this is triggering the hell out of my dysmorphia and shit like#hence why I’m lookin at a potential specialist at 600$ per fuckin appointment even tho I’ve been told there’s not much even a specialist#could do in my case#the absolute BULLSHIT y’all are subjected to everywhere everyday. oh my god.#reblog if u want idc doubt it’s got much sense or relevnate to anyone other than me atm but#I need tobbed#fatphobia#medical neglect#hashimotos#disability#ask if u need this tagged idk what to put it under#vent#diet mention#ed tw#biting biting biting biting bitign#goodnoot
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i think one of the things i want to do over break for funsies is like. rewatch every pak drama of the major contemporary writers nationally hailed as progressive (e.g., umera ahmed, farhat ishtiaq, sameera fazal, etc.) and see how many of the male leads i come out actually still liking. like i want to make an excel spreadsheet cataloguing every red flag that went under my radar as a kid. for science
#bc if we are being real. sooo many of these guys are nothing short of rancid#and while i get the point of a lot of these dramas is to show emotionally stunted men grow#idk how much tolerance i have for certain behaviors now like idk..#tangentially this is also why complaints of saif from kuch ankahi Really amuse me#like ok so all of the most toxic and insecure men imaginable aren’t a problem for most pak drama fans#but a man who simply lacks agency and is maybe a bit cowardly bc his mother overimposes on him is horrible and unappealing..#like i’m not saying people have to like him or have a crush on him by any means#but i think it’s weird people are blatantly ignoring he’s being used to comment on how mothers emasculate their sons and strip their agency#and how that doesn’t always translate to those sons being weird toxic alpha males but can simply make them cowardly and unable to stand up#for themselves. which yes. is totally worth criticizing. but it’s strange people think samiya is coddling him#simply bc she’s willing to ask him what he thinks when his mother does or says certain things#if she were coddling him she wouldn’t even bother worrying that he’s a pushover#but instead what she does is prompt him to slowly recognize that he has his own thoughts and feelings and that he can act on him#and that she’s not going to solve his problems for him bc he’s capable of solving them himself#and idk i think that is a narrative worth telling. and i am so willing to cut him slack for being a coward bc he’s the farthest thing from#a toxic alpha male. people have twisted him into being this horrible liar cheat etc for liking someone else prior to his marriage#despite the fact that we are literally being told and shown he’s forced into the marriage and his mom Knows he likes someone else and she#doesn’t care. saif cannot realistically say no without effectively running away and he’s incapable of that bc he fears his mother#he’s not a bad person. he’s just a coward. and his growth will entail that he becomes someone brave enough to take a stand for himself#and personally i am way more open than whatever shite we have in other dramas where it takes a saas abusing her bahu for her son to wake up#to be deleted
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thinking about michael between pizza sim and security breach having a conversation with old man consequences…
#i never really thought anything about where his soul went during that time like i didn’t think he’d be any sort of conscious#but having this moment in what is essentially the fnaf version of purgatory before waking up in the pizzaplex. feels right#it wouldn’t last long the passage of time would be different for sure but… hm#would he be Told that his mission isn’t done yet… that he can’t move on as long as the effects of william’s crimes are being felt no matter#how much he’s atoned…. or would he be urged TO give up to let it go to leave the demon to his demons and he just continually Refuses because#he’s imposed this on himself he cannot LET HIMSELF rest easy knowing this is still happening#cassidy and michael parallel except cassidy is the one trapping william in hell and william’s presence left behind is what’s trapping#michael in life it’s the essentially keeping Each Other stuck of it all#i think it’s more likely/fits better with the themes here if michael insists upon it… does he remember?? who knows! i don’t think so!#michael and refusing relief for himself is such a constant it makes me upset#need to stop i could keep pulling out more to say forever but this is already barely coherent#⁂ ・゚: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
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guys can i talk about that fucking guy. clap if you think i should talk about that fucking guy.
(accidental ramble in the tags. oops. don’t read if you don’t want to read a crisis.)
#yo it's d :)#you already know who that fucking guy is unless you’re new here and that’s none of you so .#i need to start asking my friends if i can talk about that guy but it’s hard honestly#he literally takes up 50 to 80 per cent of my mind on a daily basis#even when i’m not thinking about him i’m thinking of him#i’ll see something blue and be like ‘wow! yk who really likes the color blue?’ and suddenly my brain is flooded with thoughts of Him#don’t get me wrong i love him but i realize that other people don’t care about him as much as i do so i’m trying to dial it back#still. it’s hard.#especially knowing that other people know how to contain themselves and i’m just sitting here raw out in the open like this#to be honest idk how i managed to survive school because since september i’ve kinda been living in mana hell(/heaven. depending on the day)#some people say they have addictive personalities and honestly i think that’s me#my brain is addicted to him! i literally study this man’s face and mannerisms and can tell you exactly how he smiles when his expression#is otherwise neutral. i can relay unnecessary amounts of his band history to you and have watched WAY too many interviews and videos#and the worst part? i literally told myself ‘hey! you can’t get like this again’* because the last time was really bad! it was destructive!#*(about a person.) i literally cannot function sometimes for just thinking about this guy.#i rarely listen to music besides his anymore and can literally tell you characteristic features of his composing! it’s kind of embarrassing!#like i’m a music nerd but i’m not THAT big of a music nerd. i usually can’t tell you things like that. most i can do is tell you#instrumentation. but whenever i listen to something he *mightve* composed i can automatically confirm or deny.#that’s not normal !!!!!!!!#having over *2000* pictures of a person you’ve never met in your phone is not normal!#but despite me being in the goddamn TRENCHES. i love him so so so much.#he genuinely makes me so happy. seeing images/videos of him from any time period makes me go ‘!!!’ because i think he’s the coolest!#and he’s so inspiring. he’s part of the reason i took up drawing again and regained some passion for music.#thus ends my tale of woe.
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Idk maybe I don’t feel bad about what I said because why was I sitting there trying to tell you casually: oh I’m feeling sick, I don’t know if I want to drink anymore. And you suggest a different kind of alcohol and I shrug my shoulders and go: eh, but I don’t really want to to drink. And you KEEP going on like it’s my fault YOU decided to drink more and that I have to be as drunk as you when you’re drunk like. Wtf.
Did I complain and ask you to drink more when I was more drunk than you? No. I didn’t say a damn thing about how much you were drinking because it’s none of my business and I don’t care!!! So why is it MY fault when I don’t drink anymore and start to feel just a little more sober than you?? And you tell me that I’m not fun, and I’m being boring.
But when I say in (maybe) in slightly aggressive tone (but honestly I was mostly sad/upset) sometimes I feel like you only think I’m fun when I’m drunk. Which sure isn’t true. But like, when YOU tell me you’re feeling sick from drinking I suggest drinking water‼️ I DO NOT suggest you drink more alcohol‼️ I DO NOT (nor have I EVER) told you that you’re too boring, that you should drink more so we could be drunk together.
Like no honestly I really don’t feel bad. I’m more mad and upset and now you’re moping around trying so hard to get some reaction out of me but like no. I have feelings too that you are constantly disregarding in favor of your own. I tell you I’m upset about something and you don’t apologize and try to explain yourself it’s: how dare you say that to me. Now I’m so sad and I hate myself and it’s all your fault.
WHAT????!!!!!!!!
#Sorry it’s ranting about my “friend” hour#I just don’t understand#time and time again she just proves why I feel like she doesn’t care about MY feelings as much as she thinks she does#so I really just have to learn to let things roll off my back but like I’m fucking sick and tired of you LITERALLY GUILTING ME INTO DRINKIN#there is truly no other way to word it#When I said multiple times in different ways I don’t think I want to drink anymore#and you keep complaining to me about the fact that I am choosing to no longer drink#wow I fucking WONDER why I would say and feel this way#I fucking WONDER why I feel like you don’t actually care about me#and again it’s just taking a step back and going I may have said something a little harsh but from the beginning#if she had said exactly what I said to me I would NOT have told her to drink something else or told her that she was being too boring#or told her that it’s her fault that I decided to drink more and now I feel bad because she’s not as drunk as me#that was YOUR GODDAMN CHOICE#would you please for fucks sake respect my choice#And it’s so frustrating because it’s like she never hears what I say but what she imagines I’m saying#idk I’m just#I hate that tomorrow I’m gonna have to deal with this when I honestly meant a lot of what I said#and I know she’s gonna say all this bullshit about how she’s a good person and it’s on me for interpreting her words as pressure to drink#but that’s literally all you do to me#I literally said I have feelings and thoughts too! But she just ignored that and continued to invalidate and ignore what I was saying#I’m so fucking sick of her#jesus christ if we weren’t roommates I genuinely would not hang out with her because she cannot stop pulling stunts like this#and I’m just so fed up with her my god#August talks#Venting#Like when I’m sitting here having a good time and all of a sudden you tell me I’m not having a good time and I need to drink more#what’s wrong with me for not drinking more when she drank more just to be drunk with me and I’m magically sober??????#and then in the back of my mind I start to think: oh I feel bad I should drink more:( NO I put a stop to that thought and fucking voiced it#and you just don’t care about that
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RANT TIME ‼️‼️‼️
#the cast list came out and your girl is not pleased#I won’t say what show it is or anything bc i’m paranoid abt creepy stalkers finding me or whatever lol#but basically i worked really really REALLY hard for MONTHS for this certain role#and it’s a role well within my vocal range and typecast and stuff#at auditions and callbacks i read for it a lot of times and like a million people (some i’m friends with and some i’m not) came up to me#and told me what a good job i did or that i’d be perfect for the role etc etc#and i tried not to get my hopes up but i kinda was because i REALLY wanted it and i worked REALLY hard for it#and everyone was pretty positive at the end of callbacks that it came down to me and one other girl#now. this other girl. where do i even begin#let’s call her joanne#(that’s not her real name i swear)#now joanne is my least favorite person in this town- maybe this county- maybe this state- perhaps this country#she is the most irritating girl i have ever endured the presence of. she believes wholeheartedly that she is the best singer and#the best actress and the all-around best person in the entire world#she goes around telling people she has zero insecurities and being mean to her friends and ARGHHHHH when i tell you i cannot be around her#you see where this is going don’t you#so basically joanne told everyone that this other role in the show#a completely different role than what i was going for#is her ultimate dream role and the one she wants#so she doesn’t want the role i want at all and the two of us were obviously the top two contenders for it#but the thing is that the directors are OBSESSED with joanne. they fawn over her and feed her already-unbearably-inflated ego#and they’ve given her leads in shows before (keep in mind that they’ve cut me in shows before)#but since the times they’ve cut me I’ve actually come so so so far as an actor like i’ve played leads and they’ve SEEN ME play leads and#TOLD ME that i did amazing#but GUESS WHAT THEY DID???? i bet you’ll never guess!!!!#joanne got the role i wanted#i got a role too but it’s definitely on the smaller side and oh. here’s the kicker. i’ve PLAYED THIS ROLE BEFORE. VERY RECENTLY.#and they knew that!!! yet they cast me as her again!!!#and it would be fine (or at least better) if joanne was GOOD as this role#lav speaks
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.
#anon who sent me a message about my dad#first off i’m sorry that you lost your dad i cannot imagine the pain :(#i know i would be devestated if i lost mine#with that said my relationship with my dad is complicated but that certainly doesn’t mean that i don’t love him#and i know that he cares for my sister and i#i think it’s just hard to connect and communicate with each other that it makes it hard to have a true relationship with him :/#my parents seperated when we were young and it was a mess to say the least#and since then it’s been complicated#my dad was lost for a bit and he knows it because he has told us before#he has apologized for how he hurt us and i know he’s very sorry i can tell#i love him and he will always be in my life i just don’t know if i will ever have the relationship with him that i have with my mom#sorry for the long post but i wanted to#reply to your message but i also didn’t really want to put my#whole business out like that lol#and this is just a condensed version of everything but yeah love my dad but it’s also complicated which is not ideal but it#is what it is and that’s ok
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fuck covid.
#finally dx’ed!! which is great bc now I have Physician Backup when I tell people that I Cannot Do That. no yeah the doctor told me#the other great thing is that I’m now allowed to have treatment. fucking finally.#anyways. truly loathe having long covid. I’ve unlocked a new type of exhaustion called Oh Fuck. unlockable to most by having two allnighter#in a row with a three hour nap on the ground in the middle. and then tying weightlifting balls to your feet.#I cannot stress how tired I am and how fucking BORED of sleeping I am. I no longer sleep one day out of every week straight through but. ug#I used to do things!!! What happened to doing things!!!!#sometimes I wonder if the recent uptick in ‘god I am SO tired’ memes on the internet is a result of mass undx’ed long covid. bc holy shit#anyways and I guess the solution is to microdose an experimental anti-addiction medication about it??? wild#ngl that was the MOST accommodating doctors office I’ve ever been to. If you had to be there for more than ten seconds there was a chair.#If you had to go somewhere then someone would lead you. got a whole packet plus the dr was very cool about ‘ok :)…. what did you just say’#like huh. yeah this sure is a specialty office for Memory Problems And Exhaustion The Disorder.#Anyways. I am SO FUCKING TIRED
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I was wondering whether or not Steven was married to the person he was living with (or possibly just sleeping with?) in the first Papyrus skit. At first I thought "oh they're married and then they divorced" but then I thought "well... wait, you can live with someone while just dating... or maybe they're just sleeping casually... maybe that's what's happening"
But then I noticed...
The wedding ring! He was married to this person. And they divorced most likely because of him spiraling back into being unable to function because of Papyrus.
"Not this again." How many times has he gone through this? How many years? Since Avatar first released in 2009? And this first skit was released in 2017... let's assume everything follows our own timeline considering Papyrus 2 took place in 2024 (because of the banner saying 2024 the year this skit was released)
So when he was married, he had been struggling with Papyrus on and off for eight years. Then in the sequel, it's been fifteen years total. Fifteen. Has Steven really been struggling with Papyrus on and off for fifteen years? No wonder he cried when he got some fucking CLOSURE finally. some ACCEPTANCE. my GOD
anyway. this is my fuckigng ANGEL I love him more than anything inthis whole entire world I don't eat I DON'T SLEEP I do nothing but THINK of YOU 😭😭😭😭💕💞💓💗💖💓💞💕💝💘💕💓💞💝💟💝💘💟💕💕💞💓💓💞
#if he knew abt my 'common' triggers he'd be like GOD I UNDERSTAND YOU. and then we'd make out in the produce aisle#any time he cannot eat or sleep bc he's haunted i would fuckign SUPPORT my HUSBAND#THERAPY! STAYING UP AND LISTENING TO HIM! HOLDING HIS HAND WHEN HE SEES PAPYRUS ON CUPCAKE POSTERS!#EXPOSURE THERAPY! GROUNDING EACH OTHER WHEN WE SEE TRIGGERS!#he sees a pink donut and he's like 'OH BABE IT'S BARBIE'S COLOR :D how's she doing?? you told Ken I said hi right?'#slowly stepping in front of the donut display so it blocks my view and he reaches for the blue ones for me#or when I see a papyrus poster out in the wild i rip it up and make it into confetti#and he's like. god i'm so in love with you. and then we make out in the middle of the street#and at the end of everything he hugs me and says 'hey if i can get better. so can you. ok?'#'with you every step of the way star girl'#his trigger was reclaimed by associating it with something better and being given love and support#bitch i can do that too#barbie pink!!!!!!!!!!!!!#now he's gotta help me with 16 other ubiquitous triggers but baby steps baby steps#love notes#💕♬♪ ♡ You don’t have to change when I’m around you - ̗̀˚₊·♡📜💕☆˚₊· ̖́-#god i love steven so fucking much i cannot believe how much of a main F/O this guy has become#the SECOND he mentions triggers in the second skit not even five seconds into the vid#i was like oh my god he's just like me fr fr#my bff made the joke 'you really do F/O every single ryan character' HAHAHA#love notes: steven ♡
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hey! i really love your fics and i have a special request 4 my 19th birthday ( aug 16 ) . can you do inexperienced yuuta x inexperienced reader or frat boy/play boy yuuta x shy nerdy reader? I really luv u and it would mean alot 2 me if you did this,feel free to say no or ignore this if you want! no pressure!
OH MY GOODNESSS i could never ignore this! i can ABSOLUTELY cook this one up for you and i hope i met your expectations!! i wanted to release this right on your birthday, so here is my gift to you! <3 ILY you’re so sweet thank you for sending in a request!
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finally.
{frat boy/playboy yuta okkotsu x nerdy f!reader}
summary: yuta okkotsu is a typical popular frat boy player who’s never been told no, but at one of his regular parties where he spots your pretty little self in the kitchen, and you turn him down? his entire existence resets as he then cannot stop thinking about you and tries his absolute hardest to change the impression you have on him.
warnings: college au, afab!reader, fluufff, mentions of alcohol and drinking, yuta LOVES you, he’s a little weenie at first, character development yuta, no smut in this one!, cursing, party fight, protective yuta, yuta fights someone lol, slight sexual themes but really nothing.
word count: 5k
authors note: OH HOW I LOVE THIS ONEEE!! i hope i’m feeding you guys well this week with these fics hehe!! IM WRITING A FREAKY ONE FOR THIS NEXT SO STAY TUNED!! love you love you <3
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yuta okkotsu was the biggest player and frat boy to ever plague your college campus— having parties literally every other night and trashing the absolute fuck out of his frat house after every single one, living in the privileges of popularity as he was without a doubt the hottest man there.
he absolutely relished in his reputation, loved the attention, loved the stares he got, and had a body count that absolutely shot through the roof in numbers.
and yuta was quite literally a typical frat boy. he was loud and obnoxious, the most stubborn hot headed man to ever exist on the face of the planet, passed the time playing beer pong for fun and drinking, and had girls practically at his feet, him never having to work for anything to get in his bed and fuck.
until he met you.
you had timidly walked into one of his frat parties one night, shy, cutely nerdy, a little scared and absolutely drop dead gorgeous, your energy an entirely different one from his own as he watched you a little too much throughout the night, rehearsing his perfected plan of getting girls into bed with him as he finally spotted you alone in the kitchen after a while, approaching you.
yuta flashed you an attractive polished smile as he leaned up against the kitchen counter, practically cornering you in as you eyed him alarmingly.
“hey,” he sipped at his beer. “what’s your name?”
you awkwardly shifted, wondering where the hell your best friend was as the biggest player you’ve ever heard of was talking to you.
“y-y/n…” you stammered, your gaze barely looking at him but giving a small smile through your nervousness nonetheless.
“pretty name for a pretty girl,” he hummed. “you’ve never come to my parties before, have you?”
you shook your head no, your doe eyes finally peering up at him.
“welcome then!” he chirped smoothly and leaned closer to you, his breath faintly smelling of alcohol. “you here by yourself?”
“no i’m with a friend, actually.” you laughed awkwardly, your cheeks red with embarrassment but smiling politely through your discomfort, not wanting to offend him in any way.
yuta nodded, his eyes scanning the crowd. “did you lose them?”
“i— i guess so—”
“you can stick with me then.” he shrugged, a sly smile on his face as he sweet talked you, it slightly faltering when he noticed how uncomfortable you looked, but carrying on anyways. “you wanna head upstairs? maybe we can—”
“no thank you.”
he paused.
no?
“no?”
he was yuta okkotsu. no girl has ever told him no before.
you shook your head at him and gave him a sugary smile, your tone kind and polite as you started to walk away from him. “i’m sorry, i think i see my friend over there though! thank you for keeping me company, i hope it wasn’t too much trouble!”
he watched you walk away then in your tiny little skirt, and he felt stupidly offended. absolutely stupidly offended as he slightly scoffed and shook his head, taking a swig of his beer, his body and mind literally glitching with the foreign feeling of rejection.
yuta tossed his empty beer bottle lazily in a black garbage bag and stuffed his hands into his pockets, his long legs already pulling him over to the beer pong table in the living room, opting to forgetting the entire encounter he had with you altogether and shaking it off.
except he couldn’t. he couldn’t shake it off.
his brain was buzzing and utterly reeling over the thought of your timid nature and soft spoken words and pretty pretty face from that point forward, thoughts that aggravated him to no end that bubbled up every time he ate, slept, was in class, and did basically anything.
he didn’t know why it was happening. he didn’t know why you took over his every fucking thought as he only interacted with you for like five minutes. but your aura was different. so poised, so shy and gentle, and it was like a red string was physically pulling him towards you everywhere you went.
yuta saw you around campus a lot more after that, you sticking out like a sore thumb and blinding his vision whenever you walked past him, your smile sweet and respectful towards him that lasted only a millisecond as you walked down further, his eyes watching you over his shoulder, soft.
you conversations with him were nothing but polite and casual as he tried to talk to you again and again, your body language guarded and careful, but your voice like silky honey, speaking to him with more kindness than he deserved.
yuta never seemed to be able to get past the invisible wall you built in front of him.
“a girl like her isn’t gonna go for a guy like you, yuta.” one of his frat brothers muttered to him, having been fed up with yuta’s moping and grumbling around the house ever since he saw you.
“and why not.” he gruffed, his arms tightly crossed over his chest as he leaned back on the couch.
“because she’s nothing like us.” he emphasized. “she’s a nerd, respects herself, is way too good for you, and would never let herself waste time with a guy of your reputation.”
his frat brother patted him heavily on the shoulder. “just go back to the ones you usually go for. they’re easy.”
yuta only rolled his eyes and stood, but he really couldn’t deny what he had said. you were too good for him, way too good for him, his life completely mismatched from yours— paths never meant to cross as he solemnly watched you from afar, wanting you to smile at him the way you smiled at others, wanting you to talk about your precious nerdy interests and your studies with him like you do with your friends, and wanting you to just simply look at him longer than the usual casual hello you gave him.
but you never did.
in an attempt to try and talk to you again without seeming like an absolute fucking stupid creep like last time (something he quickly realized), he started throwing parties at his frat literally every single night in hopes of you showing up, scanning the crowd and sulking in a corner when he couldn’t find you, the bags under his eyes growing darker and darker with every time you didnt make an appearance.
he tried to go back to his old ways and hook up with the girls he usually did, tried to bury you in the back of his mind and go back to before, but he just couldn’t, his mind foggy and preoccupied with thoughts of you that invaded his every neuron, making him kiss his hook ups back lazily or straight up just cancel on them— stopping all together in the end.
it had been months, and yuta sat bored out of his mind on the living room couch during another one of his parties, not a single drop of alcohol in his system as music pumped and drummed through the frat that made his headache ten times worse.
these everyday parties were pointless.
he sat up and trudged to the kitchen, pushing past his friends for a beer until he froze.
there you stood, finally, leaning against the kitchen counter all by yourself, just like how you were when he first saw you.
his eyes flew open and he quickly smoothed over his white t-shirt with his hands, heart hammering against his chest so hard that it traveled down to his ribcage as he approached you, internally freaking the fuck out.
“hey y/n,” he greeted quietly and calm, trying his absolute hardest to convey sincerity towards you. “how are you doing?”
your eyes snapped to his and you leaned back a bit, but smiled. “hi yuta! i’m doing okay. how are you?”
he could practically see the wall you had in front of him, your posture timid and cautious, and his eyes only grew more insecure.
“i’m good! do you— do you want a drink? or something? i could—”
“oh it’s okay yuta! i’m fine,” you answered shyly, a grin on your breathtaking face.
yuta gnawed on his thumb, looking around the kitchen for something, anything that could fix the image you had on him.
the fridge.
“do you um—” he walked over to the fridge, almost stumbling over his own shoes as he opened it. “do you want maybe apple juice? or— or i have chocolate milk? or sunny d i drink like an entire dozen a day but—”
you giggled.
his head snapped over to you and watched your pearly smile, shining just for him for a moment, his shoulders slowly relaxing.
yuta sheepishly scratched the back of his neck and laughed along with you.
“sunny d would be great!”
he stared blankly, and then quickly nodded. “o—okay! yes sunny d—”
he ransacked through his fridge, knocking over several cans of energy drinks and beers before he finally found the sunny d’s in the back, tearing one out from the pack and closing the fridge.
“here you go.”
your cheeks glowed pink as you shyly took the small bottle from his hands, a cute wobbly smile on your face that made yuta’s chest clench.
precious.
he wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans.
“i wanted to apologize—” he strained out. “for the way i spoke to you when we first met.”
you stared at him.
“it was never my intention to make you uncomfortable, and i acted like a complete dingbat with the things i said, so i just—” he scuffed his shoe against the kitchen floor. “i’m really sorry.”
you were quiet, big doe eyes blinking up at him in shock— until your frame gently deflated, eyes softening for him.
“you don’t have to apologize yuta honestly.” your soft voice soothed him, a sound he craved to hear everyday since the moment he met you. “i don’t think any less of you if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“you don’t?”
you shook your head cutely, beaming. “i don’t.”
he felt like he could breathe again.
your invisible wall slowly and gradually crumbled away the more you got to know yuta after that. he was still a little flirt, but only a little flirt with you, and he still did his frat boy job duties everyday, but he toned down the parties massively and stopped playing beer pong and drinking just for fun.
it would be a lie if you said you weren’t hesitant about yuta to begin with. you knew of his reputation and the risks you ran with befriending him the way you were— you well aware that he was trying to win you over, but you saw something different in him that he didn’t show to anyone else, and you trusted him, the goodness of your heart always giving people the benefit of the doubt.
he was trying his absolute hardest for you and changing his bad traits, wanting to become a person that deserved to be with you as he listened to you ramble on and on about your classes and your studies all of the time, him smiling adoringly at you because he genuinely loved so much hearing you talk to him and listen to anything you had to say— and yuta was falling practically head over heels over the way you gushed about your little nerdy interests, your eyes shimmering every time.
“and what’s this one called?” he asked softly.
you glanced over. “that’s the corpse flower! they only bloom for two to three days every two to three years.”
“only for two to three days?!” he whispered harshly, the ambiance in the botanical garden quiet and serene as you both observed the different kinds of breeds, flowers being your specialty of knowledge.
and he wanted to know all about it, even though he had a pamphlet in his hand that told him everything.
he wanted to hear it from you.
“and this one?”
he pointed to a vibrant scarlet red flower.
“that’s the cardinal flower. they attract little bees and hummingbirds!”
your words were gentle and polite, your eyes sparkling at all of the different flowers in front of you.
“oo! and this one—” you stopped suddenly, slowly retracting your hand and looking at him bashfully, your cheeks redder than ever.
yuta’s eyebrows furrowed. “what? why’d you stop?” he looked to where you had been staring. “what about this one?”
“sorry!” you sputtered. “i felt like i was getting carried away and talking way too much…”
you laughed it off, but yuta only shook his head.
“no you weren’t. you weren’t at all.”
you peered up at him shyly.
“you can talk about anything you want with me wherever we are, y/n. i like it when you explain to me these things, or anything you know really.” he ruffled your hair. “i like listening to you.”
your cheeks adorned a pinky shade as you took in what he said, and you smiled so so big then, nodding.
“so what’s this one?” he pressed again, lightly.
the bed contained a mix of white and purple flowers, small and dainty as they swayed to and fro a bit with every breeze.
“those are pansies,” you leaned over the railing. “i like these especially because it looks like they have another pair attached to them on the other side.”
“like a little buddy,” yuta commented.
you laughed softly, “yeah! like a little buddy.”
he pointed to a specific pansy that had one white flower and one purple flower on the opposite side.
“that’s you and me.”
“is it?” you grinned. “who’s who?”
“you’re the white one and i’m the purple one,” yuta absentmindedly turned and grabbed your hands gently, playing with your fingertips— and you let him. “because you’re pretty and really fucking smart and way too nice to me, and i’m a douchebag and sometimes i’m a mean and scary old fart.”
you giggled loudly at his joke, shaking your head. “nuh uh. i don’t agree.”
“you don’t?” he quirked an eyebrow, a silly smile on his face.
you shook your head again. “you’re genuine yuta. really genuine. and you’re funny, you never make me feel embarrassed for the things that i love, and you make others happy!… sometimes.”
yuta laughed, “sometimes?” he softly placed your hands back at your sides. “yeah, you’re not wrong.”
“but you make me happy, always.” you finished off.
his eyes lit up like a firework. “really? so does this mean you’ll finally say yes to going out with me and give me a little kiss?”
you snickered and covered your mouth, your cheeks flushed. “nuh uh.”
“aww mannn,” yuta groaned and leaned against the railing, but turned his head to the side after a few seconds and looked at you, giving a tender smile.
your eyes continued to sparkle over the flower beds in front of you, but yuta’s eyes only sparkled at the one flower in front of him.
that’s where he started calling you flower.
“that’s okay!” he leaned back up. “i’ll keep trying.”
and boy did he try. each and every single day yuta tried as he brought you little treats from the campus cafe, or helped carry your textbooks to wherever you went, brought you neatly packaged flowers or sometimes would even pull his car over when he saw pretty ones on the side of the road, getting off and running to pluck them, handing them to you through the window with a goofy grin.
everything was bliss between you two, and your world only got brighter as you hung out with him.
but for yuta, his world got a little complicated.
his former hookups only grew sour once they found out about you, the girl yuta seemed to spend every waking hour with, completely blind sighted to the fact as they thought he would’ve dumped you months ago already.
and his frat brothers were just bothered. yuta wasn’t managing the frat like he used to before, like he was supposed to as their leader, neglecting the collective reputation they all had with him not sweet talking the entire female student body, or their parties not running every single night anymore— and even when they did run, yuta wasn’t ever even there to begin with, he was with you, something they quickly realized.
“you have to cut it out man,” one of them said. “this frat is turning into a shit hole because you keep spending your time with that girl—“ he stopped. “who the fuck even is she? i mean if it was layla fine everybody knows layla but—”
“who she is is none of your fucking business?” yuta snapped. “and just because i’m not sending girls for you to jerk your dick with doesn’t mean this frat is turning into a ‘shit hole.’”
some of the boys snickered.
“you wanna run the maintenance on the house? you wanna call up the fucking board and ask for the ten thousand fucking permits we have to have for our parties every year? you think you can run that?”
“no—”
“then be my fucking guest.”
“okay fine, i’m sorry man.” he sighed. “we haven’t had a party in a week though, we have to throw one tomorrow and you have to be there. then ill call it even.”
yuta snorted. call it even? whatever.
he begrudgingly agreed, not wanting to be there whatsoever but softening up to the fact that maybe he was neglecting his frat a little too much.
so when he called you up that day for your nightly phone calls, yuta asked for your attendance.
“i know— i know parties aren’t really your thing…” he pursed his lips, staring up at the ceiling as he had you on speaker. “but i’d feel a lot better if you were there… and you won’t be alone! you’ll be with me the whole time so—”
yuta sighed. “…i have been neglecting the frat a little bit, and they’re pissed at me.”
you gasped softly, “they are?”
“yeah but i don’t give a fuck.”
you both giggled.
“but i do want to make them somewhat happy so that’s why i gotta throw this party… can you come? it’s okay if not flower don’t worry—”
“of course i can go yuta!” you spoke cutely over the speaker. “as long as you give me a sunny d i’ll be okay.”
he laughed.
“i feel like…” you struggled. “them being mad and what’s happening with your frat is partially my fault yuta… i’m sorry.”
your voice was so worrisome, you feeling tremendous guilt on the other line as you bit your lip.
“what?” his eyes narrowed. “no flower, absolutely not. why would you think that?”
“because i keep asking you to hang out with me,” you spoke softly. “and i feel like im hogging you from your frat boy duties.”
yuta chuckled and shook his head. “i would ten times rather spend time with you than hang out with these fucking dummies.” he sat up on his bed. “i love it when you ask for me flower. keep doing it please. whatever that’s happening with my frat strictly has to do with me okay? not you.”
you grinned on the other end, your heart giddy. “okay.”
so the night of the party, you showed up to his frat looking absolutely gorgeous in your tight little dress, his hands instantly clamming up and his throat closing at the scent of your strawberry perfume and lovely face alone.
yuta tried so hard to keep his eyes respectful and not drift down to your ass or the way your perfect tits squeezed out from the top, almost physically slapping himself when he accidentally touched you way lower than he should have when guiding you through the crowd.
everywhere he went people were greeting him or passing him shots, him quickly acknowledging everybody and downing whatever they gave him as you shyly and timidly stuck to his body (which he loved).
yuta taught you how to play beer pong that night and cheered like an absolute fucking idiot whenever you would make it in, drinking the cups for you instead as he knew you weren’t the biggest fan of alcohol, which made you a little weak in the knees that he catered to you so much.
the party was actually way more fun than the both of you expected, especially for yuta, because he proudly had you on his arm as you walked throughout the house, you trying your absolute hardest to ignore the stares you got from different girls and not uttering a single word about it to yuta, not wanting to burden him and take his focus away from rejuvenating the frat and his brothers.
all was bliss, until it wasn’t.
“is this her? the girl you’re always talking to?” one of his frat brothers stumbled through the crowd, the one that argued with him the day before, drunk off of his freaking mind as his eyes raked over your body like nothing.
yuta instantly picked up on that and stiffened, “yeah.”
he tried his best to swallow his annoyance and be civil as he gently placed a hand on your back and softly ushered you forward, you shy and clinging onto his shirt. “this is y/n.”
“h—hi.”
“i see why you abandoned us for a nerd man!” he slurred. “she’s fucking hot. never seen tits look so good—”
your breath hitched.
“the fuck you just say?” yuta tugged you behind him. “the hell is wrong with you man? don’t talk about her like that.”
you noticed several eyes looking over.
“what!” he hiccuped dumbly. “they do! why are you getting pissed—”
“i don’t give a shit!” yuta snapped. “don’t talk about her like that!”
he scoffed, swaying a little. “what, like you actually care about her anyways—”
“are you fucking serious?” yuta stepped forward and you tugged him back, your eyes frantic as they scanned over the crowd forming and back to him.
“no yuta, he’s drunk it’s okay—”
“she’s just another one for your body count, once you fuck her you’re gonna leave—”
yuta slipped from your grasp and lunged at him, tackling him and towering over him on the ground as he fisted his shirt and jerked him up, yuta landing punch after punch to his face as the crowd yelled, cheered and recorded around you.
“yuta please!” you tried to get his attention, your chest heaving in a panic as you watched the other guy land a hit on yuta, not wanting him to get hurt over you at all whatsoever.
yuta dodged another coming hit and beat the shit out of him, grueling him down to a mere pulp as everything around him went completely white and fuzzy, his body stinging with absolute rage.
he was furious.
finally, several other frat brothers broke through the crowd and pulled yuta off of him.
“that’s enough that’s enough!”
“guys stop!”
quickly, you grabbed yuta’s hand once they put him aside and tugged him away from the crowd, speed walking to the front door.
“you’re out of the fucking frat you piece of shit!” yuta practically roared behind him as you pulled him. “you’re out!”
your trembling fingers hurriedly turned the knob and opened the door, dragging him out down the steps to the porch and across the grass, not saying a single word to him yet as he kept breathing out desperate apologies to you with every step.
once you both were a safe distance away from the house and just a tiny bit down the street, you let go of his hand and turned to him.
“—fuck im sorry i’m sorry im so sorry—” yuta shoved the base of his palms into his eyes as he threw his head back, “i just fucked everything up between us i—”
yuta knew you would never want to be with a guy like him, especially one that couldn’t keep his shit together and resorted to violence the way he did minutes ago, right in front of you. a guy like that didn’t deserve you. you deserved way way fucking more. and as he tore his palms away from his face, eyes looking up at the night sky, he knew he completely messed up his chances with you for good.
his head snapped down to look at you, his eyebrows pinched and eyes contorted in absolute guilt and agony as he placed his bloody knuckled hands on your little cheeks.
“i’m so fucking sorry he said those things to you like that that was not okay flower,” he emphasized. “and i’m so sorry i beat him when you told me not to i— i just couldn’t stand there when he was talking to you like that man—”
he dropped his hands and cursed, his arms going up as he covered his eyes again.
“yuta it’s okay—”
“no,” he shook his head and looked at you. “no it’s not okay. you deserve way more than this and no matter how fucking hard i try to do better, the life i built before you just doesn’t let me.”
his eyes got so sad, saying words he didn’t want to say, but knew he had to. “you shouldn’t be around a guy like me flower, you really shouldn’t. fuck— i don’t want you around a guy like me. you’re too precious for that. i’m gonna end up screwing you over like i always do—”
“yuta stop.” you raised your voice a little, your tone one he’d never ever heard come out of your mouth, firm and serious in contrast to the sweetness you always gave him.
he shut right up.
“come sit down with me on the curb,” you pulled his arm. “please.”
he followed you and sat down next to you on the side walk with his head down, you taking in how yuta only had one little cut next to his eyebrow, pride funnily bubbling up in your chest as you realized how good he actually fought.
he did that. for you. he made a scene out of himself and protected your name.. for you. although you hated that he got into a fight, you knew he was trying so so hard for you, going above and beyond for a year now trying to fix himself to be a better man deserving of you, and you were immensely touched, no one having put even close to that amount of effort like he was in your life.
“you don’t get to decide what i deserve yuta.”
his eyes shot in your direction “but as a friend i’m telling you—”
you huffed as you grabbed his cheeks and kissed him.
you kissed him.
yuta’s eyes were blown astronomically wide as you did, his heart no longer beating as he could’ve sworn he was dead right now, not believing that you were actually kissing him.
him.
you pulled apart from his lips with a smack, your hands still on his red cheeks. ���a guy who’s willing to literally change himself without me having to ask, trying to be better for me everyday without fault for literally a year, doing everything he can to make me happy? definitely deserves me yuta. you deserve me.”
you pecked his forehead softly and pulled back again, his body going numb when you did. “so what if you beat the shit out of him? i would do it too if someone was talking to you like that i don’t care. i’d lose but i’d do it,” you giggled. “i didn’t like the fight because i don’t want you getting hurt, ever, period. but you literally scrapped him up like it was nothing, so i don’t have anything to worry about.”
he shook his head and playfully rolled his eyes. “no flower that’s the thing you’re too sweet to me, i don’t want you justifying—”
“yuta be quiet!” you whispered harshly, giving him a silly grin. “you talk too much.”
you reached up and very very gently pecked the little cut on the side of his eyebrow, feeling a cool calming waterfall wash over his body at the feeling of your soft lips finally on him, something he’s wished upon every star for.
“you’re so good to me yuta, truly you are. and i’m sorry it’s taken me so long to say this because i’m always nervous but—” you smiled endearingly. “i do want to go out with you, and i do want to give you little kisses. all of the time.”
yuta slowly let his forehead fall against yours, feeling like he was in a dream as the only emotion he felt at the moment was bliss. pure honeyed bliss as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest, his face burying in your silky hair.
his hard work had finally paid off, and he had every fucking intention of keeping up that work until the day he dies, wanting you, his shy and timid precious little flower forever in his life— you changing him for the better so much that he finally feels like he’s properly healthy, in more ways than one.
“we’re going out tomorrow,” he mumbled into your hair. “bright and early. i’m gonna take you to get breakfast, and then we’re gonna go to that aquarium you’ve been wanting to go to for weeks now, and then i’m gonna buy you a souvenir, and then i’m gonna take you to get your nails done—”
“yu!” you pulled back and giggled happily. “you don’t have to buy me anything my goodness. just you is enough.”
he bit his lip, smiling like a fucking idiot.
“really?”
“really.”
“well too fucking bad i’m gonna do it anyways.”
he pulled you back in as you laughed and buried his face back into your hair, not wanting to break away at all, feeling like the richest douchebag in the world as he finally had you as his.
you scooted your face up then and nudged him, him pulling a part in response as you proceeded to plant another sugary kiss to his lips, yours lingering as they melted into a perfect mold against his mouth, yuta’s heart absolutely soaring, your red invisible strings close together at last.
he finally had you.
finally.
and he was never letting you go.
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tw/ hórny èx bf, hè ís à crèèp, nôncôn, èxplïcït ând nsfw thèmès.
It’s hard to break up with someone like him because he doesn’t get the hint- it’s been barely 6 days and he finds himself right in front of your door.
Really horny. And quite frankly messed up.
He bangs on your door- at first he’s gentle, but then he finds himself losing his patience when you don’t open up after a few bangs at your door, even with the bell It’s not working.
He just might have to be a little bit more aggressive with it. See now, he doesn’t like being aggressive with you. He knows that you hate this side of him. That’s why you broke up with him in the first place.
It’s not really a break up to him though because you’re just trying to break and he thinks that this break has lasted way longer than it should have in the first place. So he takes deep breath, and he starts banging at it like a maniac.
“Yn! YN OPEN UP!” But you don’t. You’re really trying to test his patience and then you try to lecture him on his aggressive nature.
His pupils are dilated at this point, he’s feeling so crazy right now, it’s aching and his pants, and he has missed you like crazy-staring at your pictures is not enough anymore. Not at all.
It’s your fault, you know.
It’s your fault that you’re so beautiful and that you have his heart in your hands… he closes his eyes for a moment, and then he takes out the spare keys he had to your apartment-of course, you don’t know about them, but he had a locksmith make them for him.
Without any rational thinking- he unlocks your apartment with ease.
And soon the familiar scent of your home hits him and your ex boyfriend finds himself relaxing, his head feels a little better now. “Yn!~~~” he calls out your name with affection but you still don’t respond.
Weird.
So he decides to check if you’re home. He really hopes that you are because he needs to talk to you and… a lot of other other things.
First to fall of course it’s gonna be your bedroom, his feet, take him to the familiar room so easily, because he remembers every single room in your home, like the back of his hand.
And to his surprise? He hears the shower running. A Cheshire Cat smile spreads across his lips. But before he can think anything else, the shower drops sounds come to a halt.
Oh, so you must be done..
He waits- by sitting on your bed and waiting for you to come out, and he doesn’t have to wait long, so he unzips his pants, creepy? He doesn’t give a fuck.
He needs to fuck you and get you back. He has everything you ever want. Quite frankly, you can be ungrateful. Anyone would kill to be in your place… but too bad he wants you.
And there you are, in all your wet glory-with a towel loosely wrapped around your body, you gasp, expected, in surprised to see him, he smirks.
Your eyes widen and you open your mouth to scream at him, he doesn’t mind you can because he’s missed your voice a lot.
“Hi baby.” He greets you. Licking his lips, because he feels himself getting harder when he stares at your soaked, freshly washed body.
You look so sexy like this I can’t help but remember all the times he would fuck you senselessly in the shower or sometimes when you were done with it.
You’re just so irresistible. You get him so horny for no reason at all. It’s your fault and now you’re going to have to help him out.
“W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” You finally say something to him, even though you’re screaming at him like a maniac, he doesn’t mind.
“I can’t help it baby you know I love you and I can’t live without you-and I’m so horny right now.” He licks his lips again, getting up from your bed to walk towards you.
He needs to touch you right now.
“I told you you couldn’t break up with me but you thought you could.. so I just wanted to give you a little break, but I think it has lasted enough now I need you back.” He groans. You smell so good even his muscles are pulsing.
His eyes are you like a predator and You should know that you cannot escape.
He is way too strong for you.
“Come on now- look at me? I’m so fucking hard because I was thinking about you- and look at you.. fuck…” he breathes out, taking you by your waist.. but then he gets another idea.
So instead of holding you, he drops to his knees.
This is gonna get you so weak for him.
“Let me eat your pussy. Missed it so much.” He looks into your eyes when he grabs your legs. You barely manage to hold onto your towel, which was about to fall. And something switches in your eyes.
You have missed him too.
He smiles. “I bet you missed me too. Fuck- baby let me have a taste please- I’m doing this to make it up to you. I know I pissed you off, so let me make it up.” He breathes, slowly, removing the towel and he starts to tease you by rubbing his hands over to your clit.
You whimper, you’ve always been so weak for him.
He knows you need him-equally as bad as he needs you. And he’s going to make you realize it tonight. He leans his face closer to your cunt, and you grab his wide shoulders for support.
“Oh look at you baby- you’ve already started to get wet.” He coos, pressing a kiss to your thigh, and then his kisses get closer to your heat, “f-fuck. You’re so fucking bad for this.” You moan out. He knows that you’re trying to reject him still even though he knows what your heart and body really want.
Him.
“I know yn.. but fuck- you’re my bad habit.” He replies before he takes one of his fingers out of your pussy and he smashes his mouth into it- his tongue starting to eat you out.
“Nghhh fuck.” You moan as he starts to tease you again with his teeth- he’s so messy right now, all sloppy as he pushes his tongue in deeper and deeper.
That’s how you like it.
His mind is in a frenzy because the noises you’re making are purely sinful- your towel gals to the ground and your back arches.
He won’t let you fall.
He will make you cum in his tongue.
“Ugh fuck..” he groans as he eagerly laps at your juices, you’re giving him so much.
And he knows you’re already going to cum.
“A-Agh fuck don’t stop- don’t fuckin stop.” You command him and grab on his locks- that arouses him anymore- you taste so fuckin good.
He can kill anyone for you.
“O-Oh fuck- baby cum on my tongue- you can do it.” He praises you- his hands on your ass as he squeezes it, you pull on his hair.
His teeth graze your clit.
“Should I fuckin bite? Since you’re so *pants* fuckin mean to me? Nah.. I love you..” he barely manages to speak because you’re suffocating him and you’re going to cum.
“You can *pants* only cum if you come back to *pants* m-me.”
BNHA- hawks, aizawa, bakugo, deku
JJK- gojo, geto, toji, sukuna
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