#to be good at murder anyways
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When Luka murders Bob Roth I think the natural follow-up would be someone else finding out and them helping him cover it up, but I had been uncertain as to which idea it should follow, but now I have been enlightened and realized I don't have to choose. It can have it all. It could have Luka and Adrien friendship bonding, it could have Luka and Juleka sibling bonding, it could have the development of the Felukagami polycule. This plotline could have it all.
#4 people finding out of course puts Luka's murder abilities into question but it's okay he did it on a whim and he doesn't particularly want#to be good at murder anyways#Hopefully it's a one time thing#Miraculous Ladybug#Luka Couffaine#Adrien Agreste#Juleka Couffaine#Felix Fathom#Kagami Tsurugi#Felix x Kagami#Feligami#Felix x Luka#Feluka#Kagami x Luka#Lukagami#Felix x Kagami x Luka#Felukagami
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unorthodox murder mystery
#zosan#one piece#roronoa zoro#sanji vinsmoke#fanart#okay so basically this concept is ok so basically#its a murder mystery where those who are murdered on the ship actually turn into VAMPIRES#but theyre like#guys. how the fuck do we not know who the vampire is#like what do you mean you are literally still alive after being 'killed' and somehow you dont remember who killed and turned you#zoro: well whatever. im still gonna be the greatest swordsman#sanji: right ok so hello FUCKFACE. DUMBASS. GREATEST SWORDSMAN THAT IS ONLY AVAILABLE DURING THE NIGHT OR WHAT–#sanji: CAN WE FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT WE JUST DIED THAT WE JUST CAME BACK TO LIFE THAT WE'RE IMMORTAL NOW. THAT I CANT TASTE THE FOOD I MAKE#zoro: wat dat gotta do wit me#sanji would be suchhhh a good vampire feeder but a terrible vampire I think#thats my opinion stop throwing rocks at me what the hell#anyway i dont actually know who the vampire on the crew woudl be#thats the mystery#its a mystery to the creaotr of the au as well obviously... or else whats the point.....
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ALRIGHT UHH
V finds Solver Uzi hot now. do with that idea what you will
She likes a feral goth gf. And honestly? She's so valid.
I'm absolutely adding a bonus to this- This piece robbed me of my sleep so its bed time lol. (Ilovethemsomuchandiwoulddieforthisship)
Edit: Here's that bonus ;)
#murder drones#murder drones art#murder drones fanart#murder drones v#murder drones uzi#vuzi#v x uzi#uzi x v#solver uzi#uzi doorman#uzi md#md uzi#md v#v md#v murder drones#uzi murder drones#I think a little fluster on V is good for her#maybe a little ooc#nah#this is totally my headcanon for her actually getting flustered#she just freezes#feral uzi makes her a little ex-#anyway#take this as you will
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some good news!! the spanish state's ministry of equality has finally passed one of the most progressive trans laws on the planet, shielded free and universal access to abortion and banned conversion therapy and genital surgery for intersex babies, among a lot of other feminist policies. the minister of equality irene montero gave a speech thanking spain's lgtb and trans associations for helping her draft these legislations. couldn't be more proud!!
#spain#trans#ill always prioritize queer&trans revolution over reformism but man. man these are good news#these are gonna make people's life so much more comfortable#i was lucky enough to live in andalucia where we have THEE most advanced regional legislation on trans rights#so i didnt have to fight too many people to access hrt and to change my name on legal docs#but other ppl on the spanish state have been suffering so fucking much#and yeah this law doesnt cover non binary people or migrants but the door is fucking open. its a step forward#and after this terrible terrible week#after the antitrans antisemite game & brianna's murder and so many rampant transphobia#it feels nice to get a win#to have someone in power be so unwaveringly supportive#the queer community in the spanish state is NEVER gonna forget this. never#anyways!!!#felicidades gente trans española!!!! nos vemos en el registro civil dkkskdkkdkxkdk#mine
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very much inspired by a post i’ll link at the bottom to avoid spoilers
i love putting john price in situations
simon had known price for over a decade, had served under him as his lieutenant for a good portion of it, so he was pretty confident in answering yes when asked if he thought he knew the captain well.
he could acknowledge he wasn’t as close as say laswell may have been, but he knew that price’s wife was not common knowledge around the base either.
he’d pieced it together over the years on missions; catching the odd comment shared over coms; the glint of a ring around his neck; the odd teased mention of her when they sat in the rec room after barely scraping through a tough spot, when price needed the company as well as the silence ghost offered before returning to the real world.
it was how simon knew the sergeants were staying when price let slip about her one day. because he doesn’t let anything slip, wouldn’t, especially about her.
“got anyone at home waiting for you, sir?” gaz asked as he sighed impatiently over the coms, hour three of silently waiting and watching had finally gotten to him.
“i do,” price said simply, not offering any further information. ghost could imagine the amusement tugging at his daft facial hair as price refused to continue without prompting and simon smiled under his mask when he heard johnny scoff next to him before chiming in.
“c’mon sir, give us a wee bit more’n that,” he weedled. “when’d ya meet? is she nice?”
john hummed, the sound low and crackly over the radio in their ears. “met when i moved.”
“oh, a real meet-cute type thing, eh?” gaz teased.
john ignored him. “wouldn’t say she’s nice, soap. she’s more than that. ‘nice’ is your aunt’s new wallpaper; you have permission to shoot me point blank if i start calling her nice.”
“what is she then?” ghost piped up. this was the chattiest john had ever been on the subject and he was going to take advantage.
john went silent for long enough that the three men thought that was it, the end to their sharing session and knowing more about their captain outside of work. simon chewed the inside of his cheek.
“she’s devoted,” john whispered finally before his voice firmed. “heads up, team, movement 2 o’clock. anyone got eyes on the target?”
—
it was months later when she was brought up again, the team thinking. nothing of it until price’s phone pinged in his pocket enough times to pique johnny’s interest as they prepped to leave.
“that the wife, sir?” he asked.
john huffed, didn’t bother checking his phone as he turned and shook his head. “she’s clingy, but she doesn’t bother me when i’m at work.”
“how’d you know?” gaz asked. “could be an emergency.”
“‘n’ how’d you get her to agree tae tha’?” soap followed up quickly, having had issues with his own flings petering out when he was distant and slow to reply.
“been with her long enough now it’s routine,” john said simply. he checked his weapons before heading for the exit. “helo in 5, be air ready.”
—
the mission had gone to shit, and they were stuck hidden in a building that looked like it was 10 seconds away from collapsing under a brisk wind when ghost finally felt his patience snap.
it was no one’s fault, but being stuck in another country with no back up and a target on their backs for an extra three weeks wasn’t ideal and johnny’s insistence on playing cards at every opportunity to keep his idle hands and mind busy combined with gaz’s tinny whistling had made for the perfect scenario to grate on simon’s patience quicker than anything else ever had.
“tell us about her. ya wife,” simon asked, his gaze slipping across to john, watching him pick at his nails. his cuticles were red and raw from four days of agitated fidgeting since they’d ran out of cigars and cigarettes. every so often simon caught him pat his empty pocket before he’d remember and huff heavily through his nose like a bull.
john closed his eyes at the mention of his wife and sighed. he started his description without protest or hesitance. “shes soft spoken. christ, you’d hardly know she was there half the time, she’s so quiet. but she’s firm. stands her ground no matter what,” he chuckled. “don’t think i’ve ever won an argument against her.”
kyle laughed and ghost closed his own eyes, trying to picture what he thought the captain’s wife might look like. pretty certainly, but was she tall, plump, did she have an endearing gap between her front teeth, did she keep her hair short or long?
“she’s a bit of a homebody,” john admitted bashfully, unaware of simon’s drifting thoughts. “but i can’t say i mind it.”
“not wanting to leave the bedroom much when yer back?” johnny joked, hissing when ghost punched his thigh.
john just smiled placidly, eyes still closed. his eyebrows pulled down as he gushed, “god she’s gorgeous in red. wears it every time i come home.”
“lucky bastard,” gaz huffed.
“yeah.” john nodded and finally opened his eyes. “yeah, lucky.”
“you’ll be back with her soon, cap,” gaz reassured him when he saw price swallow thickly.
“thanks, gaz. now who’s taking first watch tonight? soap?”
—
john was quiet on the plane ride home, not unusually so, but ghost noticed the difference all the same.
he was pensive perhaps, worried what his wife would say when he finally got home a month later than scheduled, uncontactable the entire time. ghost could understand to a certain degree that john would have more important things on his mind than what his three subordinates were going to do as soon as they stepped foot on home soil, so he didn’t push when john ignored the few threads of conversation thrown his way by their younger sergeants. instead he nodded when john said a quick goodbye as they all parted ways in the airport.
simon could only assume john was the same all the way home in the cab that dropped him outside of his little three bed house.
he didn’t see however how john hesitated at the door to his home that evening. how he gripped the front door keys tightly in his fist, shook as he stared down at his feet instead of letting his eyes drift and catch on the windows, and felt as though he could crack a tooth from how hard he was clenching his teeth.
he finally opened the door when he thought the neighbours might begin to get worried and stepped inside, flicking on the lights as he went.
it wasn’t until he got to the kitchen that he found her.
stood bare foot, silent, eyes wide and pleading, blood seeping - always seeping. would it ever stop? would the blood ever end? - through her white pyjama top, his top that she’d borrowed for the night, and trickling down her bare legs.
her mouth opened and she visibly struggled for breath, but no sound escaped even as her tongue wagged on the floor of her mouth, lapping at the backs of her teeth as all words escaped her.
he swallowed back bile.
“hello, sweetheart,” he choked out. “sorry i’m late.”
the blood pooled at her feet, the panties she wore were seeped a dark purple from the viscus liquid dying the dark blue material and the shirt stuck to her front. john had remembered loving seeing her like this in a morning, had always thought she looked best in as little clothing as possible.
“i know you hate it when work keeps me busy, but it was unexpected. we were caught—“ a high screech, not dissimilar to that of a whistle that only a dog could hear, pierced through his ears and cut his words short. he curled in and covered his ears, but he knew it would do no good, he should’ve known better than to talk about work around her.
not after what had happened last time he got back late after overtime.
tears prickle at his eyes and the sound abruptly stopped. he’d never questioned why it seemed to be only him that could hear her protests, why his neighbours never mentioned a shrill cry every so often from his home. he had always said she was made for him and that had apparently translated literally into the afterlife.
he looked up at her again - it was best not to ignore her he found. it only made her angry.
“it won’t happen again,” he promised wetly. “i did my best to get back as soon as i could, i promise, sweetheart—“ he choked on his words, biting back a sob. she watched unblinkingly, silent except for the wet squelch of her feet on the laminate.
they both knew he wasn’t apologising for being late this time. he got like this sometimes, when her agonised face and mangled body was too much to bear after a long mission and the guilt bore down like a physical presence.
he couldn’t help but think if he’d gotten home even just an hour earlier he might’ve been able to save her, to have kept her company instead of leaving her on the floor alone and cold, maybe he could have caught the bastards that had hurt her while he was still travelling back from deployment after agreeing to hang back and finish his paperwork there and then instead of emailing it across.
he reached a shaking hand forward and blew out a ragged breath when his hand met nothing but frigid air. but when he brought his hand up to his face he could smell the copper tang of his dead wife’s blood on his skin. the stench unwashable, cloying, but if he concentrated hard enough it ever so faintly smelt like the vanilla perfume she used to wear.
“was telling the lads about you, love,” he forced an empty chuckle as he walked around her to the kettle and went through their usual routine. “think they might’ve fallen a little in love, not that i could blame them.”
he ran a hand over his face and gave himself a moment to let the tears fall as his palm hid his eyes. her silence was the worst part of it all, but he could see the glaring red of her in his peripheral when he dropped his hand to the counter.
it wasn’t pretending his wife was still alive if she was right there at his shoulder, was it?
“looks like i’ll need to grab you some more pg tips, sweetheart,” he said and poured the boiling water into two cups, sparing a glance over his shoulder at his wife. “we’re almost out.”
post link
#idk if this is as good as i wanted it to be or pictured it to be when i first had the thought but i like it anyway!!#john price#price x reader#john price x reader#uhhhhhh spoilers after these tags#main character death#tw mcd#cw mcd#tw gore#cw gore#it’s mild#also mention of a break in and violent murder of reader sorryyyyyy
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What are your thoughts on a decepticon prowl?
Oh I'm all for it. But! Only if he's actually a Con. Like. Wholeheartedly.
Not "nnnooo we're doingg a bad thing and I kind of dont wanna do bad thing but I have no choice poor me".
You know how in canon he truly believes he's on the right side and makes everything to ensure that Optimus wins the war? You know how he's willing to make every tough decision so Optimus doesn't have to risk his reputation? You know how he literally makes Autobots look like shiny brave and clean heroes who did nothing wrong ever?
I want all that but the other way around. I want him to do that for Megatron and for the Decepticons. The implications would be so fucking dramatic I could write a whole essay.
Low rank Cons would hate him so fucking bad.
Starscream would try to murder him at least once a day.
Megatron would absolutely treasure him. Autobots would have it r o u g h
Can you imagine
#I saw a bunch of great fics that were “Autobot character but he's a Con AU”#really enjoyed them#I love that kind of AU#but I think I only saw two Decepticon!Prowl fics so far#and they both made him that poor little kind thing that got abused and wronged but secretly a fluffy sad kitten or something#anyway#Just like with Decepticon!Jazz and Decepticon!Ratchet and Hot Rod#I love when authors arent shy about making characters Decepticons#I love it when fic stands proudly with it's concept#yeah he's a Con and he fucking means it#if you know any good fics about Con!Prowl that arent trying to make him look innocent - please feel free to share#the guy murders a lot of people while being an Autobot. You can't convince me he would magically be merciful as a Decepticon haha
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things#especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another#same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take#anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aroace#aspec#sex positivity
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@pscentral event 27: scenery
Here's a thing I don't get. People who worry about living in a big city because of all the crime. As any true crime aficionado will tell you, it's the boondocks you need to worry about. I mean, let's face it, nobody ever discovered 19 bodies buried in the backyard of a 14-story apartment building. There's eyes on you all over the place here. And New Yorkers have a special way of communicating. And by special, I mean direct. We're packed in tight and stacked on top of each other like those who live...at the Arconia. Only Murders in the Building (2021-present) Created by Steve Martin and John Hoffman
#only murders in the building#omitbedit#the moving stuff thingy yeah#dailyflicks#chewieblog#tusersel#usercera#userreh#janielook#nessa007#usermandie#tusercj#tusertha#userdanahscott#usermorgan#userrlaura#usersugar#userrobin#userabs#useralison#uservalentina#usershreyu#tusernath#tuserjen#usertina#userjessica#i had a hard time choosing scenes for this set because there were lesser shots of the apartments than i expected#i wanted shots of jan's and nina's apartments but there weren't any good shots :(#i wanted to include loretta's apartment so bad because it's so pretty but she's not from the arconia so :(#anyways i hope this is good enough as a ✨scenery✨ set akdjkdjdk
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Unpleasant Revelations - DPxDC Ficlet Idea for the Stillborn Au
"Have you met my youngest, Damian, Mr. Masters?"
Its only from twenty years of long, hard experience and practice that Vlad doesn't increase the room temperature from 'borderline uncomfortably cool' to 'unbearably hot' the moment Bruce Wayne pulls his youngest and "only" biological son out in front of him.
He puts only in quotations because twelve year old Damian Wayne looks scarily, uncannily like one Daniel Brown. Jack and Maddie's foster son, second victim of their foolishness, and only other halfa in existence. Second only to him.
It's nauseating how similar they look. From the scowl and terrible glare on the young boy's face, to his brown skin -- which was only a few shades lighter than Daniel's, the shape of his nose, and even the strange winged edge of his eyebrow. Something that Vlad has long since come to find endearing on the child he considered a son of his own. The only difference was that Damian had dark, sharp green eyes.
Daniel's eyes were blue. The same glacier shade as his father's, who stood behind Damian with a proud, oafish smile on his visage.
It was infuriating how similar they look. Vlad might not have rapidly swung the room temperature from one extreme to the other, but he can't stop himself from letting the fury burning within his core from slipping out and raising the temperature up a few degrees.
Because it really only meant one thing.
Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were related.
Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were brothers.
Standing in front of him, it was clear as day. He can already picture a phantom image of Daniel standing beside Damian, the same scowl written on his face, the same glare carved into his eyes. The only difference being the dark, exhausted circles beneath them that seemed to be permanently painted onto his skin. The only thing missing being the permanent loneliness and vigilance permeating his being like a scar.
This, if revealed, would be enough to ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation. Or, at the very least, darken it quite a bit. The great philanthropist Bruce Wayne with another secret blood child? One related to his youngest? One that had been put into foster care? Seemingly thrown away?
It would be a firestorm.
One that Vlad is not keen on starting.
It would ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation, yes. But it would hurt Daniel in the process -- the harassment he would face alone might just be enough to break that fragile child completely. That was just not something he could allow. Or, even worse, bring him into his biological father's care and custody -- something Vlad was even less willing to allow.
It's not out of kindness to Wayne that Vlad will keep mum about this.
His grip on his champagne flute tightens, just a bit. He's still aware enough of the world around him to not let it shatter in his hands. His plastered, pleasant smile tightens around the corners, and he forces his focus to slide from Damian to Wayne.
"The resemblance is uncanny, Mister Wayne." He says, slanting his smile to the side slyly. Although he's not talking about the resemblance between Wayne and his son. Rage simmers beneath his skin, burning coal and embers in the core of his chest, nestled between his lungs, as he meets the man's eyes.
Wayne swaggles his head proudly, his ditzy smile widening as he squeezes his son's shoulder affectionately. Bastard, Vlad wants to spit.
He breathes in through his nose, and exhales out through his mouth. The champagne in his hand cools, and stops its unusual bubbling.
The Damian boy scoffs under his breath, his mouth still coiled upward into a scowl. With the revelation of his blood relation to Daniel evident, Vlad's not sure if he should find it endearing or not.
He is not Daniel, so he decides that it's just simply irritating. He decides to ignore it.
"And you said he was your only biological son?" He asks, voice lilting and head tilting. He knows its a suspicious question at worst, insulting at best. But considering Wayne's past proclivities, he can hardly call it an unexpected question.
Damian puffs in great offense, face twisting angrily. It reminds him of Daniel when Vlad insisted that he was wrong about something or other, and for a moment his heart swells, fond.
But this is not his child, and so the feeling quickly crashes and burns, simmering back into rage. This was not Daniel -- this was his replacement. A replacement that Wayne was free to keep.
Wayne chuckles, idiotically, as if he'd said some funny joke. Vlad's other hand, the one gripping his cane -- something he's required ever since he was dispatched from the hospital all those lonely years ago -- tightens instead. He grinds his teeth -- him and Jack Fenton would get along like a house on fire, he hates it.
"I can understand why you'd ask that, Mister Masters," Wayne says, squeezing Damian's shoulder again, "but yes, Damian is my only biological son. Although that doesn't mean I don't love my other children any less."
Bastard.
For all his posturing and flouncing about caring for his city and his children, Vlad never would have thought the Prince of Gotham capable of abandoning one of them.
But, well.
They all have their dark secrets.
And what one man throws away, another man picks up. If Bruce Wayne didn't want the treasure child that was Daniel Brown, then Vlad Masters was more than happy to take him instead.
"I see."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc ficlet#dpxdc fanfic#i was hit with this idea two hours ago and was hit with the intrinsic need to write it down#parental vlad masters#protective vlad masters#vlad is currently going 'OH? OH YOU ABANDON AND REPLACE **MY** SON??? MURDER. DEATH. BEES UPON YOUR FAMILY'#but he's also still like. evil. much less of a creep! but evil. so he comes off a bit possessive. which was intentional.#vlad's reaction is kinda valid if it was accurate and bruce DID willingly and knowingly abandon danny. except he didn't. he has no idea#danny is even alive. vlad doesn't know that tho. we all love a good reasonable misunderstanding :]#hc that vlad needs a cane as a human because the ecto-acne that killed him fucked his nerves up a bit as a result and now he's got a bad le#and is also immunocompromised. which had a slight hand in his 20 year isolation thing.#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny au#stillborn danny#vlad masters#this may or may not be canon to the au im still thinking about it#vlad acknowledges that danny is formiddable but he's also not wrong that a media shitstorm like that would hurt him considerably.#diamonds are the toughest known material to man and yet it still shatters like glass when put under pressure. vlad's right he's fragile#ummm anyways yeah Vlad finds out first and promptly decides to go 'oh okay so fuck you personally actually. keep your replacement child'#he has No Plans on telling Danny what he learned mostly for the obvious selfish reasons and also bc yeah. this is gonna hurt danny#ITS NOT FUN IF IT ISNT A LITTLE TOXIIIIC#i absolutely know that vlad only swears in deserts which is why its important that i have him call bruce wayne a bastard directly.
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Saw the title of today’s episode, can’t wait to watch my girlfriend get his ass kicked 🥰
#eustass kidd#massacre soldier killer#red haired shanks#hoping for lore about the two of them finally but it’s One Piece so who the hell knows#anyway can’t wait to watch Kid die horribly (affectionate)#I hope he gets defeated and then realizes that the real one piece was the friends he made along the way#and then him and Killer and the rest of the Kid Pirates all frolic off into the sunset#and get to go listen to alt music and murder civilians and eat pasta#and whatever else they like to do#💖together💖 awwwwww#for his own sake I hope Eustass gets power of friendship-ed#it would be good for him#one piece#one piece fanart#my art#eustass kid#eustasscaptainkid#one piece killer#killer one piece#kid one piece#kidd pirates#kidkil#not explicitly or at all if u don’t want it to be. I enjoy them in all flavors and this isn’t inherently meant as romantic at all#but I shall also give the shippers their crumbs cuz I’m also one of you sometimes#kiddkiller#kid x killer#eustass captain kidd#art#one piece 1112#yapping in tags
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hi im back
#i didnt go anywhere i just got really lazy#as it turns out doing two art months back to back is not good for your spirit#you dont get to see the other one go fuck yourself#anyways back to your regularly scheduled murder drones stuff#btw if you steal my stuff again then you s Prepare.#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones v kinda#murder drones cyn#murder drones tessa#combining like 12 seperate headcanons into “tessa wanted to matchmake them but she sucks at matchmaking”#nobody here is good at romancing. cyn doesnt even know what a romance is#art#im so bad at posing i hate that fucking second panel i might go and redo it entirely cause looking at it makes me boil
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There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.
Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.
“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.
“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”
“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.
He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.
“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.
“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”
“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”
“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”
“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”
“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”
It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.
“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”
Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”
“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.
#fox forged palpatine’s signature is how it got past him#it’s not like anyone can admit to that considering the backlog of official reports he’s been forced to do it on#‘come for me and we’re both going down bitch’ fox says#triple dog dare#fox himself is in such a constant state of sleep deprivation delirium that a sexy speeder wash sounded fair enough#or not worse than anything else that happens on the daily on coruscant anyways#padmé’s handmaidens make it rain with whoops of joy and take a commemoration selfie with all the commanders#‘wait. where’s kit?’ obi wan asks halfway through the meeting ‘wasn’t he supposed to land on coruscant an hour ago?’#‘oh No’ says the council collectively#‘coruscant daily breaking news: residents are horrified by half-naked nautolan streaking through the city apparently making for thr senate’#‘wait that appears to be JEDI MASTER KIT FISTO-‘#it’s very good advertising it turns out#the vod who suggested it (nuisance) gets promoted against his will#the remaining clone commanders have to be restrained first from dogpiling civilians launching their credits at corries#‘BUT GENERAL THEY’RE OBJECTIFYING FOX’ wolffe cries to plo koon#then from murdering several senators aides and the chancellor when certain records surface#‘this is all public knowledge??’ fox asks very confused and still dripping water under six robes his ori’vode launched at him on sight#‘i don’t understand where this is coming from?’#cody is too busy making slitting throat motions at anyone who looks at his vod’ika too long to bother responding#palpatine chokes on a raisin in shock and dies#‘BREAKING BREAKING NEWS: CHANCELLOR EXPLODES IN A BLACK CLOUD AT SIGHT OF WASHBOARD ABS’#and thus the galaxy is foxed#i’m leaving that typo#commander fox#corrie guard deserves better#coruscant guard#jedi high council#mace windu#oh mace my beloved i am so sorry but it’s so funny putting you in Situations#sw tcw fic ideas
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ‘betrayal’/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ‘betrayal’ in Gem’s eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ‘betrayed’ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own ‘GeminiSlay’ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ‘trying to fix her reputation’. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearl’s end of things she’s already deep into the idea that as long as you say you ‘forgive’ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesn’t matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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love the idea that the Volturi collect newspapers from all over the world so they can watch out for rogue vamps. bc they're not out there doing that shit. really, some poor intern/human-wannabe-vamp is just running around sifting through the daily papers like an editorial assistant working the slush pile at a trad publishing company. underpaid, overworked, crying on lunch breaks, chugging cold burnt coffee, desperately trying & failing to unionize, etc.
#and then the one time they're like 'uh mr aro sir there's uh a fifty-five percent increase in murder in seattle in the last few months sir'#aro rewards them with a 'good boy. now show me your neck' and goes to town#anyway kids don't apply for entry level positions in publishing. or vampire comms.#twilight renaissance#twilight#the twilight saga#the volturi#volturi
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An Well Made Excuse To Post My Specific Headcanons I've Had Since The Show Came Out
#bro fought his way thru those two only to burn the house down#anyway kdsjfsdf#that doodle and that comic werent actually made for eachother#i just wanted an excuse to post my oddly specific sleep headcanon lol#I like to think Uzi is so restless because shes always thinkin abt smth (whether that be stressful or not)#N sleeps like a rock and usually doesn't move; if its just him and Uzi he'll usually curl around her so she can't fall off the bed#V's had the habit since she was a worker#Tessa would always make excuses to have sleepovers w/ her fave drones#and it was usually J's problem of being cuddled to death by a sleeping V#nowadays the only way V gets peaceful sleep is the reassurance that Uzi or N are still there#hence the N dog plush in the comic dsklfjsldkfj#I have more headcanons of this variety (like for J) but i'll stop here#thanks for reading again! you guys really like to point out my tags and it makes me giggle everytime#anyway BYE :]#murder drones#serial designation n#serial designation v#uzi doorman#envuzi#enzi#violentbiscuitbites#< i seriously love that shipname btw. I love MD ship names#i love having been here so long I could tell you who made the og names everyone built off of. I think fandom is good sometimes (sometimes)
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team mxes doodle
#WANTED FELONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hows it feel to be the one to seal away a monster but also become one#im joking#but gregory better have a good ass reason for attempted murder#AGAINST MY DAUGHTER#anyway doodble because i got bored#fnaf#fnaf sb#is this spoilers#ruin dlc#ruin spoilers
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