#to be fair the history nerd in me does want to point out that i understand why the senat went stabby on him

[thetwofaced]

I can not stress how much I adore that this hellsite made the collective decision to celebrate the fact that someone went all stabby McStab stab on Julius Ceasare on the 15th of March of 59 BCE.

Like

It's been over 2000 years

God I love tumblr

[thataddylady]

Analysis: Phillip Crane 'To Sir Phillip with Love' Pt. 1

So I was asked to do a fleshed out analysis of Phillip Crane as a character and what on earth is so appealing about his romance with Eloise for those of us who loved not only her character but her book as well. It was meant to be one post but honestly it turned into a novella so I'm gonna do this in sections. His book with Eloise was my favorite in the Bridgerton series. Phillip Crane is a very complex character. He isn't charming or dashing, he isn't setting off fireworks anywhere. The ones who aren't a fan think he is a toxic rapist at worst or a boring nerd at best. I am not here to argue against that case. I'm just gonna make mine.

Regarding Sir Phillip

Before I can get into why I loved him with Eloise, I thought I'd do a breakdown of Phillip and his back story as presented in the books. So much of his character and mannerisms are informed by his history so to miss it is to misunderstand him IMHO.

Phillip Crane as a character, is a deeply emotionally scared man. He has so much compounded trauma it's not funny, starting from his father's abuse from childhood onwards, his brother's death, his marriage to Marina and ultimately her death which was both tragic and traumatic. Now I know many of you who are familiar will go "She was depressed for ten years and ultimately committed suicide, how is this HIS tragedy?" This is a fair point to bring up. #man pain. I will get to that, I promise.

The book however only has Phillip's POV and when it opens he is six months out from her funeral so not much time has passed. A snapshot of Phillip's life as presented in the book is he and his brother suffered from horrific abuse at the hands of their father. He has visible scars on his back as an adult from the beatings he endured as a child. His escape was two things, his brother George and attending school. He's a plant nerd, and he comes into his own through academic scholarship. His brother, who was a real paragon by all accounts dies at Waterloo, and Phillip is yanked out of school by his father for more abuse to whip him into shape as his heir. Part of this is forcing Phillip to marry Marina. They are both still mourning his brother. His father as some point drops dead of a heart attack right in front of Phillip mid abusive diatribe and Phillip inherits the baronet.

From Phillip's recollections he and Marina were had a decent marriage until her depression becomes extremely bad after the birth of the twins. There is an unfortunate scene (not the first in the Bridgerton series) where Phillip visits Marina at night after receiving permission from her. The sex is horrible because she is not in a good place and he doesn't clock it until it is too late. Going off of their previous times having sex he assumes he is doing something wrong which is why she is not responding. He doesn't realize that she is in fact legitimately not in the mood and her consent in her current mindset is not reliable.

Is it well written? We can debate it. But what it is meant to convey is a tricky situation where sexual consent used to mean something and now it does not. This experience ends up being scaring for both of them because even though he received consent which used to be reliable, this time it was not and he feels like he raped his wife. Marina is upset because the whole experience was probably demeaning for her and she isn't in a place where she can understand or communicate her wants or needs. There are those who argue that Phillip is a rapist but to me seeking consent and receiving it moves this more into really bad or traumatic sex. The consent is never rescinded.

At worst he should have noticed sooner, but at best he's better than Daphne.

Either way this event sets the tone for the next decade of Phillip and Marina's marriage. He swears off sex with her because he realizes that she isn't in a place to consent to it, and instead spends the years raising their two children and trying to help her out of her depression. With what is available to him he does his best but a modern audience knows that this is a losing battle for both of them once Marina's depression becomes what we would classify as clinical. In the end after a decade long struggle on both their parts, Marina tries to drown herself. Phillip stops her and she succumbs to 'lung fever' or some related illness shortly after.

About Marina

Marina Crane is a tragic character; she loses George (Phillip's older brother) the love of her life and is forced to marry his brother with little ceremony or time to grieve. She is written as already having issues with depression before the death of her fiancé, and develops what seems to be postpartum depression after the birth of her two children with Phillip which is left untreated (cause it's 1800') and it devolves over her marriage with Phillip. Because this is set in the 1800's there is no real help for the level of depression Marina suffers from for a decade. She is unable to connect with her children or live well, her husband is unable to help her and in the end she dies from the effects of a su**ide attempt locked inside her own personal hell. It is rough going.

Now while it is true that Marina is a tragic figure, I feel that it is too easily ignored that Phillip is as well. He is someone who has compounded trauma, who also had no escape from his situation and is doing his best to help someone who cannot be helped without any proper tools or assistance at all. He's not Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre who's annoyed about his mentally ill wife and locks her in the attic and denies her existence. He actively tries to help Marina any way he knows how. He seeks advice from neighbors or health professionals, tries every approach and nothing is effective.

Just as Marina was trapped in a marriage with a man she didn't love with an illness she couldn't win against, Phillip was also trapped in a marriage with someone who couldn't communicate, who was a ghost of themselves and everything he does is ineffective.

In this day and age with the medicine and knowledge we have the awareness around mental illness is still sorely lacking, but it is a better understanding than the 19th Century.

All of this is to say both can be and are true. They are both victims of a series of tragic and unfortunate events and circumstances.

There is a reason there are support groups not only for those with depression but the caretakers of those with clinical depression and those who have lost loved ones to it. It is deeply traumatic to feel that you are the reason someone cannot get out of bed in the morning, that if you just tried harder they would be able to pull themselves out of it. If you have been in close to someone who is depressed clinically or otherwise, you know it takes a toll watching it. The longer you are witness to it the harder it is to stay 'logical' about the truth of what is happening. That it isn't personal, the individual isn't "not trying" because of self pity or laziness, they simply cannot control their thoughts or emotions.

If you are a person who encounters it upon occasion it is a bummer but you can shake it off. If you are living with someone suffering from it, it is mental and emotional torture, especially when you feel responsible and ARE responsible for the person's health and wellbeing. The feelings it engenders are dark and complicated. It leaves you twisting between bitterness that they won't try harder, shame that you didn't try harder or be better to help them and are blaming them for your incompetency and grief over the fact that they are slipping away and you cannot help. There is also a 50/50 shot between anger and numb resignation about the entire situation.

These are Phillip's actual feelings when it comes to Marina. Phillip does not see himself as a victim of her depression. He's not just 'pissed that he couldn't get laid by his sad wife'. He's someone who is trying to cope with the result of being handed a series of increasingly bad cards with no room or space or help to manage it all.

He has been second choice his whole life and by all appearances (to his mind) has failed to be the person he was meant to be. Namely, his brother George. George dies because he's serving his country while his baby brother gets to go to learn about plants. His father is abusive and dies because Phillip wasn't good enough to match George. Marina took her life because Phillip wasn't George.

He cannot separate his marriage from his grief over his brother that he never got to process, his feelings about watching his parent drop dead and the life he's been enduring since birth. It has been blow after blow by the time we meet him in the first chapter and it is probably the first time in over a decade that he has time to begin to process his life.

Only he can't because he has two children who are used to having their father around and don't understand why he locks himself away in his green house all day and cannot play with them.

Ok I think that's enough about Phillip, Part 2 will tackle him and Eloise in the book.

Feel free to leave your thoughts but I am not gonna tolerate attacks. If you have beef keep scrolling please.

@whatsaweekend here's the first part of what you inflicted on yourself LOL.

[officeshelpdesk]

As someone who's a massive Jewish history nerd this fucking tweet drives me insane

Like yes there is a historical oppression of Jews but the way this paints this history is woefully inaccurate and clearly made by someone who has no understanding of it.

Let's go through these groups one by one

1.) The ancient Hebrews were Canaanites. There is no archeological evidence that captivity in Egypt actually happened. Instead, the story of Exodus should be looked at as a cultural myth about this idea of God being on the side of the ancient Israelites even when they're faced with insurmountable odds.

2.) It's widely argued among scholars if the Philistines actually were out to destroy the ancient kingdoms. There are two minds, one that describes that Samuel is an actual recording of historical battles; and one that argues that the Philistines were simply a nearby culture that could easily be made into some great villain.

3.) The Kingdom of Judah was a client state of the Assyrians, and despite skirmishes and rebellion, its population and power actually increased under the empire. Now if you want to point to Sennacherib specifically go for it, but the Assyrians also didn't fucking like him, and to portray the Assyrians as a group of people always out to destroy the Judeans is woefully without nuance.

4.) We will call this one fair

5.) ???? What does this mean. Not the ancient Greeks trying to destroy the Jewish people, sure we do have Antiochus trying to ban a bunch of practices, but what do we mean by the ancient Greeks being gone? I mean obviously right ancient Greek culture no longer exists in a way that matters. But, modern day Greece and modern day Israel are about as far removed from their ancient cultures as each other. If we're to say that the ancient Greeks were destroyed and lost to history, then so were the ancient Israelites. What are we arguing here?

6.) Fair!

7.) Fair!

8.) Mostly fair, I guess. Though you can of course make the argument that many Nazis actually did survive and lived on to rejoin politics and join NATO and stuff, but yeah the Nazi party did get bodied

Now before we get into the 8th one there is one other problem with this. And that is that this list is backed up by Zionist myth. The idea here is that Israel, the modern state, means Judaism, and Judaism means Israel. In order to back that up, we need to not only combine the two, but create an idea of Jewish history equalling Israel being this strong warrior state. So we're not gonna mention pogroms and persecutions in states that are Israel's modern allies, like the British. There are many places that have historically been deeply antisemitic, but that can't be brought up in this summary of history because it doesn't fit some narrative that allows Israel to be completely justified in wiping out Palestine

9.) Come on now, like seriously come on now. I find it deeply disrespectful to boil down millennia of Jewish perseverance into justification for a genocide.

But that's the problem! Is Zionists don't actually know history! They don't actually really care about any of these oppressions! They care about invading their neighbors and spreading power! The "baby's first Jewish history" they carry around and read from is just a means to that end!

[liaswritesrobots]

I can't find that one post that was going around about making a tf series without Bumblebee, Optimus, or Megatron but I think it could be an easy thing to do. Maybe it's cause the niche tf continuities have such a grip on me that I often forget Bee has a main character problem to begin with but there's so many characters that are considered "Japan only" or comic only that we have an entire cast and then some of characters that a lot of people have never heard about.

Anyway, my idea for a show without using those three involves also getting rid of a lot of the "main" characters too like Soundwave, Prowl, Arcee, Grimlock, pretty much anyone easily recognizable to people who only watch American tf shows/movies.

Cast: Autobots

Yellow Splendid Convoy (or just Yellow Convoy, Splendid Convoy, Splendid, or SC) is fresh out of training and ready to make her mark on Autobot history by protecting peace throughout the galaxy. Unfortunately her crew's ship crashes and they get stranded on Earth, a planet of many autobots learn about from history of the war. She is very kind and courageous and tries to live up to the legend of the Primes before her time, which can be pretty stressful at times.

Nautica is the ship's tech specialist and scientist. She's often working on a new invention or found doing maintenance on the ship. She has a natural curiosity for everything around her and can often help brighten her teammate's day by trying to help them look on the bright side. She does struggle a bit with self confidence in areas that do not pertain to science though, and has trouble reading social cues.

Ambulon is the ship's old and somewhat grumpy medic. He used to be a Decepticon but defected mid war after watching the atrocious his fellow cons were ok with committing on civilians. He and Nautica have what Earthlings would call a sibling like relationship as the two are close, but she often teases him to his dismay. Being a veteran medic from the war his teammates hold a lot of respect for him and Splendid likes to hear him talk about the days of old.

Lander is the ship's sharp shooter and self identified "ladies man and mans man". He often flirts with people of all genders no matter where they go. He even flirts with sapient organic races, which some older set-in-their-ways bots might consider scandalous. Despite his carefree attitude and jokes he's quite the warrior! He's got amazing blaster skills and can hit a mosquitobot from a mile away! Ambulon finds him obnoxious most of the time. He is third in command.

Holi is the ships scout. Cute, tiny, and fast, he can quickly find places that are good for hiding or good vantage points. He tries to come off as serious and more mature so his teammates will take him seriously, but it rarely works. He has a girlfriend back on Cybertron, which Lander often teases him about. He has a bad habit of letting Lander talk him into doing stupid things with him.

Roadmaster is the teams powerhouse. When they need something big and heavy moved then she's the girl! She's a bit quiet at times as she's unsure if her input would be appreciated, but if asked she's more than happy to give advice. She's a gentle soul that enjoys long drives through nature, and most people find her easy to get along with, but if you make her mad (like hurting her friends) then she very well could rip you in half. She seems to want to get closer to Nautica but is a bit timid around her.

Delta Magnus is an intelligence officer that volunteered to come along on Splendid's journey to record data. He may be a talkative nerd at heart that's a stickler for the rules but rest assured, he can hold his own in battle. With a might that could rival some legends of old, he's a fierce opponent for any Decepticon. He's often found taking notes and overusing the word "glorious". He is second in command

Cast: Decepticons

Despite being a Decepticon, Esmeral is fair and willing to negotiate with anyone that isn't an Autobot. The Empress of Destruction holds a deep grudge against all Autobots for taking her husband from her, and has vowed to wipe them from face of the galaxy. Still, even with a rage burning brighter than the sun she treats her subordinate fairly, especially Lyzack, her second in command. She is also very doting mother! She is currently in ruthless pursuit of Yellow Splendid Convoy's ship.

Lyzack lost her twin brother Leozack thanks to Autobots. Lost as in she literally has no idea where he is. She isn't even sure if he's alive or dead, so she's searching far and wide for any sign of him. She acts mostly as a scout and medic for the Decepticons but she secretly yearns to be able to hold her own on the battlefield by herself like her idol and leader Esmeral, so she's secretly training to fight all by herself.

Solon is Esmeral's adopted human son. Before he was taken out by Autobots, Deathsaurus brought home a human baby and he and Esmeral officially adopted the boy. Solon is now 14 and he holds the same kind of grudge his mother does against the Autobots for taking his father away from him. He is often looked after by Lyzack when Esmeral can't tend to him and he trusts her and considers her to be like a big sister to him. He's never actually been to Earth so he's excited to finally visit the planet he came from and meet more humans.

Overlord isn't the most welcome guy amongst even the most ruthless of Decepticons, but Esmeral knows he's good at exterminating Autobots beyond repair, so she grits her teeth and deals with him. She at least knows her position as leader is safe from him since he "has no interest in leading, only destruction". He's also a warrior from later on in the war so she values that kind of experience. He absolutely loathes Delta Magnus, finding him annoying, and often targets him in fights. Shockingly enough, he actually likes Esmeral's son Solon, and often tries to mentor the boy in the ways of the Decepticons.

Sixshot. Sharp shooter. Intelligence agent. Mercenary. Bot of few words (unless he likes you). Sixshot is a mystery to even most of his comrades, but he gets the job done. He always gets the job done. His temper is something most Decepticons fear and they have nightmares of finding themselves staring down the end of his blaster. He seems to have a soft side though, one that's usually only seen towards Lyzack, Solon, and surprisingly enough, Nautica! He also seems to have a deep warriors respect for Roadmaster.

Double-Dealer is such a good spy, that you have to wonder whose side he's really on. He's cunning, intelligent, and a smooth talker. He can easily manipulate people around him into trusting him. He's currently eyeing Esmeral's position as leader, but he tries to make sure she's none the wiser of his schemes. He's also rumored to be older than he looks, and is said to have not only fought in the war, but to even fallen in love with an Autobot during that time! He considers Lander to be his greatest enemy.

Road Pig is kind of dumb, which makes him easy to manipulate and push around. He's usually going along with whatever scheme Double-Dealer has hatched. Lyzack takes pity on the guy a lot, knowing it's not easy being a Con of such standing. He enjoys taking Solon on joy rides for the two to cause trouble on.

Cast: Predacons

Magmatron is a multi-beast-changer that leads the Predacons in their quest to conquer the galaxy. He is well versed in the ways of the Decepticons but also notes their failures. This led him to make his team of Predacons "follow in the footsteps of the Decepticons. But Better." And better he can be. He's a power house that isn't injured easily, and being able to split into 3 different dinosaurs helps him have an evasiveness advantage. He's surprisingly rather relaxed about his ship rules, allowing the Predacons to do whatever they want most of the time. Though any that try to rise against him are quickly struck down. It's rumored that he had another team of Predacons once, but they all left him for a currently unknown reason.

Budora is second in command in Megmatron's team. He is a stern, serious soldier trained in many fighting styles. He's also easily envious, and longs for power and leadership over all Predacons. Despite this he works under a code of honor and never uses underhanded tricks in a fight. In dragon mode he breaths fire.

Judora is often underestimated by his opponents because of his prim and proper attitude, but make no mistake, he is still a very dangerous Predacon. While he prefers not to escalate things to brutish force he can still be a fierce opponent in a fight. He's as quick on his feet as he is with his wit. He prefers more intellectual and sophisticated things in life. In dragon mode he breaths a poison mist. He is very close to Gaidora.

Gaidora has tremendous physical strength. He may not be smartest Predacon in the group but he's still able to catch onto things going on behind the scenes rather quickly. He's rather quiet and reserved most of the time, and is often going along with whatever Judora is doing. He is fascinated by Earth ants. In dragon mode he breaths lightening. He and Judora are very close.

Bakudora is the youngest of the dragons. He's fast but he's also arrogant and brash, which is often his undoing. He gets easily excited for a fight and goads his opponents on. Upon meeting the Decepticons he and Solon become become friends despite the Predacon-Decepticon rivalry. In dragon mode he breaths ice.

Cast: Others

Anode is an explorer and treasure hunter that came to Earth a couple years ago to explore it with her wife. The two are traveling the planet in search of treasure and having a lot of fun meeting the locals. She's also a bit of a prankster, and upon meeting Splendid's group the first thing she does is play a joke on Ambulon, much to his dismay.

Lug is Anode's wife and travel companion. She's also adventurous at heart but takes more care on the paths they tread. She really has a thing for rocks, being a geologist, and is excited to make an expansive list of all the rocks and gems she finds on Earth. She's actually made it her mission to find and observe every type of rock on Earth. She turns into a backpack so she's often hanging onto her wife's back with whatever loot they've found.

Sky-Byte is an ex-merc for hire that used to run with both Predacons and Decepticons. Now he's a defector for both, wanting nothing to do with either faction. He's instead found his true callings in life, poetry and sea conservation. He works with some local human scientists to preserve the ocean and the wildlife within it. He also utilizes his shark altmode to scare away poachers that try to fish for endangered species. He's often wary of Autobots and Maximals and tries to avoid Decepticons and Predacons completely.

Lio Jr. is a young Maximal that ran off on his own after his father refused to bare responsibility for him. With Lio Convy often denying he was his son, Lio Jr. had enough and decided to head out on his own quest to help as many people as possible to become a great leader. His travels led him to Earth a couple of years ago, where he's been helping humans ever since. He won't talk about his father often, but he secretly yearns for his praise and wants to prove to his father that he can be a good leader like him someday. Once Splendid's crew arrives on Earth Lio Jr. becomes fast friends with Holi and Nautica. Lio Jr. and Sky-Byte are also good friends, with the shark often looking after and mentoring the young maximal.

[dangerous-advantage]

(yagi-no-eda here~)

Totally would circle back /pos. I’m also pretty new to the fandom!

My wife has liked Usagi Yojimbo and associated stuff for years but it’s only this summer that my brain has allowed me to really get into it, and make it past the first 2-3 comics. Not for lack of trying - it was just never the right time in an ADHD way*. Something always would distract me. I’ve inhaled all the comics I can in just the last couple of months and yeah, Stan came at me with a steel chair too. I did not expect …this whole situation. I’ve been a fandom lurker since 1999 and yet suddenly I have blog I use near daily, a sketchbook, and bunch of fic WIPS...

Mainly because I am Unwell over UY.

I have accepted my fate. This is always going to be a Thing now.

Though I did admittedly also inhale TMNT 2003 and Rise.

Travels with Jotaro is one of my favourite volumes, but I’m also weirdly into Bridge of Death rn and just….in general having a moment over Usagi’s time with Mifune. To the point I’m doodling intros for a fake show called The Mifune Years. He had this whole expected future and friends - denied.

* to be fair this is also the summer I found out its def ADHD driving this media analysis machine I call a brain

Hope this was an okay way to get back to you! /lil anxious

Feel free to network (or share thoughts) in my tags anytime, I love hearing what other people think. Also happy to chat anytime. Or feel free to tell me to back off and that's chill too :)

(been waiting to answer this for when i had more time but gave in; should be working on my fic(s) but you know how it is lmao. stay tuned for a very long post, because i love talking about things with people, especially things i like haha

very cool to see another person very passionate about this series! i grew up on 2003 (and the 90's movies-- my parents had the third one on cassette and i remember i wore that fucker out lmao) but it was always more of a "scattered interest" rather than something i was fully pulled into

i started getting into rise (read: The Algorithm came for me) probably mid-July of last year, but didn't fully fall into it until after the movie came out. it renewed my interest in tmnt overall, and i've been here ever since!

i did attempt to watch the usagi chronicles a couple of times, and i remember thinking they were fun but not really my thing. (i definitely want to revisit it, even though i know it won't hold a candle to usagi yojimbo. it does look fun in a silly way, which i can get behind.)

i knew vaguely about how big usagi yojimbo was, and that it was a commitment, but i'm surprised how quickly it sucked me in. i've never been super interested in stuff within the genre, but damn if it doesn't satisfy the autism. entire chapters devoted to infodumping about the edo period of japan? sign me the fuck up!

i especially did not expect how much it would make me feel. like. wow. ouch. usagi is just Some Guy but he is also so well characterized and you really feel for his internal conflict, 10/10.

i've been looking for series with older protagonists, especially those more focused on the familial/platonic aspect rather than romantic (i am just an nd queer on the interweb, can you blame me for yearning for found family?), but hadn't found any i really liked other than the tarot sequence by kd edwards (very good read, would highly recommend.)

also not to be a nerd but ohhhh my god i am so obsessed with the plot with mifune.

like i know the series takes place after that, and after the fallout of that, but just. wow. imagine devoting your entire being to another, to the point where you would readily die for them and their word, and then they die. they die, and you did everything you could to honor them in that death, but they're still gone.

like... that emptiness stays with you. you don't just get over that. maybe it's the "being raised in a cult" but wow, do i empathize with that.

idk if we explore more about the fallout/exact history with mifune/immediately following mifune's death but there is so much writing potential there. if i was not embroiled within turtle hell and 50,000 words deep in a multi-chapter fic already, i would absolutely write something for it.

like. this is adjacent to your interest in the topic, but can you just imagine (/rhetorical /general you.) as far as we know, he spent five days on the battlefield before he made it out to the tangled skein.

(which is one of my favorite additions like good god holy shit. that is so cool and angsty. your lord, days after dying, appears as a fucking ghost and saves you. like, if i were to be silly and funky, i would absolutely headcanon that as the reason that he was able to stand up and continue on. because i mean... what else? what else could motivate you to stand up once more after something like that?)

(well. honor. but mifune is the physical manifestation of honor in the narrative, so same difference? it's like both thematically significant and emotionally significant and-- ok im shutting up now. but i could talk for days, istg.)

but like. how do you reconstruct yourself from that? we see him holding tight to this sense of honor, even after his lord is gone, sent reeling (adrift in the waves) with only his soul and moral compass to hold to.

which makes it hurt so much more when we see these ideals of honor-- this ghost of a man, of a life, still haunting him years after the event-- still woven through the narrative, made to specifically conflict his deepest wants.

i joke about it a lot on my fic discord (i have a whole channel called 'father-material' devoted to just pictures of him hanging out with/taking care of kids), but something that seems very important to him is wanting to be a father figure, and wanting these connections to family and friends.

but that is contrasted against these ideas of honor, the very thing he built and rebuilt his foundation off of after it was torn away from him. and it's just so incredibly painful but also it makes sense, because he can't just give up the side of himself that is a samurai. too much of his person, his characterization, is built off of this.

to see it constantly clash with this want to settle down and finally rest, devote himself to his relationships/family rather than the code of bushido-- the very essence of honor itself-- ourgh ourgh ourgh its so good

(put aside the fact that he once said he could never serve another lord, and we know from the story that the idea of a "lord" can be more than just a person... he never stopped serving mifune, not truly. he still upholds the ideas of honor that mifune stood for/represented. as if his lord never truly left him.)

...i was going to say more, but then i realized this turned into a whole-ass mini-analysis, so i'm forcing myself to stfu. but basically: i have feelings about this series, man (/gender neutral).

anyway. if you ever do put something together, i would love to read/follow it! if i ever wrote something, it would probably be exploring the direct fallout of losing mifune, so hey, different niches but similar (:

also: never be anxious about talking to me ever in any way possible. i will probably be even more annoying than you in tags/asks/everything under the sun, and i do genuinely love talking to people who share my interests (typically about those interests.) i like to pretend i am an internet Cool Guy, however, it is a flimsy veneer to hide all the cringefail swaglessness and unending mental illness about my blorbos

(...i am so tempted to just invite you to my og turtle discord server so i can annoy you about usagi on the regular. also about what my reimagining of yuichi would be, because i have so, so many ideas.

i will refrain, but if you would be interested, it has been kinda dead as of late, so it would be nice to enrich the ecosystem a little by slowly collecting other usagi-interested individuals and slowly taking it over, one by one (/j /lh).)

anyway, same thing goes for me with my posts/asks/reblogs/messages/whatever. i am so very earnest, so if that puts you off, that's very chill and fine. however, as long as you're down to vibe, i am similarly down to vibe >:D

i once more apologize for this monstrosity of a reply. i would say it won't happen again, but my reading comprehension apparently does not extend to the "all things in moderation" maxim. instead i choose maximalism (to the max)

(sorry for that joke. yeah that will also happen again. sorry. /lh /pos)

[fruitsofhell]

(RTDL DX LORE STUFF RAMBLING)

This is a genuine question to anyone reading, does the lore given in RTDL DX not feel a bit shoddier than the series' writing is?

Atleast in comparison to KSA and KatFL. I know people have gripes with the 3ds games but they didn't pull stuff as confusing as sending a canonically sending a character to a spinoff universe or erasing a point of origin.The more I think about the new Magolor stuff the just more confusing it is to me in a way I definiteky did not feel with KatFL. Like Elfilis's origins before being captured were vague, but you get the idea it was a force of nature - an "invasive species" - and then when you meet Forgo it has clear motivation if being upset for being trapped for so long.

The Jamba are from ancient times and have a blood feud, Haltmann was an inventor who was consumed busy his company, Sectonia was a monarch from the sky consumed by greed because of a corrupt mirror; and originally I would say Magolor was a Halcandran who wanted to rule over the ruins of his wasteland home, but now he isn't. And I'll be fair, that was totally speculative, but atleast because it was left open it was valid speculation. The thing now is we know he isn't from Halcandra. Alright, where is he from then? DONT KNOW! What brought him to Halcandra and the Lor? He's a traveller and was enticed by all the machinery there because he's an engineering nerd, he wants to build a theme park. AWESOME. And he read a book about stuff so now he's interested in Halcandran history, cool. Why does he want the Master Crown then?

I was personally staked in him being from Halcandra cause I could gleam motivation from that, from the removal of that background and the new info given, his motivations for wanting the Master Crown don't make sense anymore. He is a cunt, yes, but not really in such a universe conquering megalomaniac way? Even Marx just wanted to mess around with Popstar and have power, Magolor wanted a crown, a source of limitless power, world-ending and for what? What does that have to do with engineering marvels and theme parks? These are silly kiddie platformers and "because he's evil" is a valid motivation, but not usually for Kirby these days?

There's usually this underlying layer of tragedy or past slighting that motivates characters in Kumazaki's games, even ones who came off as comically evil like the Jamba. And I'm just confused, cause Magolor was one of the first characters he and the team wrote so I would think a remake would be an opportunity to better flesh out him out, but a lot of it feels like details sloppily added to flesh stuff out meaninglessly. And with how much Kumazaki emphasizes keeping stuff open for interpretation, it really would have been wiser to leave some of those details behind.

Oh lord and then I haven't even gotten into Merry Magoland and Kirby Clash. The Magolor theme park thing had been established for over a decade, a year after the original game it was set up as Magolor's "redemption". And admittedly both that and his appearance in Clash were established in spin-offs, but the first one was established forced s d most cleanly. Magolor Epilogue could have just been him returning to Popstar but instead we throw him in an AU and leave the pre-established conclusion as dubiously canon? And there is totally more character arc to be gleamed out of him being in the Clash universe, but we also could have gone through that with the Epilogue...

And then on top of that, I had higher expectations for the world building in Magolor Epilogue. Forgotten Land weaved together its plot and characters with the history of the world very well, and I was hoping Magolor and HALCANDRA could get similar treatment too. It is a tiny little mode, but we all noticed how much text space for the bosses were taken up by repeating that line about how they're collecting apples for their boss, right? It was a big missed opportunity. And (very personal nitpick here) if you were going to remove a character's connection to Halcandra, it would be nice if that void of connections was filled with actual lore.

I'm still working on my organized theory for all this new stuff, and I totally admit I'm biased and some of this disappointment is coming from personal headcanon, but I cannot shake the feeling that there was something off about the writing in this remake.

[undertakermedic]

i tried to put this in the tags but ran out of space, so sorry for stepping on your toes a little bit, op, but i’m scottish and would like to throw in some fun information about scottish languages here because i’m a loud nerd—

scotland has three official languages! (well. scotland isn’t a country but that’s a whole other thing so just go with me) english, broad scots (or just scots), and scots gaelic. scots and scots gaelic are both recognized as indigenous languages and protected under the european charter of regional and minority languages, which i think is neat, especially because scots get constantly battered down for just being ‘scottish slang’ or ‘english but bad’ or whatever else. my grandparents growing up in scotland literally were not allowed to speak scots because their parents wanted them to speak ‘proper english’. believe me, it is a completely different language. just go listen to robbie burns’ address to the haggis if you want an easy example. is it technically a dialect? we will literally be here all day. everyone has their own opinion.

but scots has gotten that treatment, badly, and so has scottish gaelic. im not going to really dive into history here, but at one point after the formation of GB speaking scots gaelic was illegal, and even when it wasn’t, english was pushed as the dominant language and laws were passed to force clan chiefs to be educated in english, etc. and as of the 2011 census, about 57,000 people speak scottish gaelic. (of a population of 5.2 million) the bòrd na gàidhlig (established in 2005) has been making a very strong effort to bring the language back, but it’s… much easier said than done, especially with the english-dominant mindset still very present in GB (maybe they’ll have an easier time when scotland finally separates, which might be this year fingers crossed)

MEANWHILE as of the 2011 census over 1.5 million people speak broad scots. even those who don’t speak fluent scots, like my grandparents, are still familiar with many of the words, and use them from day to day like how we use deja vu or rendez-vous straight out of french. and i will stop spitting statistics at you now, that is not the point.

the point is: is ‘demo speaks scots gaelic’ a great headcanon that i think is neat? sure! however, is ‘demo speaks scots gaelic’ really all that realistic in comparison to ‘demo speaks broad scots’, which he almost does canonically, and is more accurate culturally with where he’s from, the time period, and how he was raised? …nah, not really. and i know when it comes to headcanons you’re not really looking for realism, however more accurately representing culture or at least having wider knowledge is always handy—and i’m absolutely not saying he can’t speak scots gaelic, just that. like. there’s more to it than just “oh that’s the language scottish people speak” (absolutely no shade intended, i am entirely understanding of this, and it is fair. i had to learn about it too)

also i’m part french (acadian) and yes that’s how you spell québécois and if you get me going about french dialects as well we will literally be here all day. please help this is a major interest of mine

again no shade intended i just love infodumping about my culture!!! hope everyone learned something new about scotland also my askbox is open for further questions mwah goodbye

have you talked about which of the mercs you think are most likely to know another language, and which? (some are. more obvious than others but lol)

Ooh, haven't talked about this, let's go!

Scout:

We do know from the comics that he is either dyslexis or illiterate and has trouble reading, and I don't think he would be particularly interested in learning another language.

I do know people headcanon him speaking French but I just don't see it. "Whaddya mean words have gendah? No the fuck they don't" - Scout, probably.

Learned Spanish at school, can say "Hello, my name is Jeremy, my Spanish is very bad!" but that's it.

Soldier:

Very likely knows a moderate amount of Polish. Taught Medic to say "kurwa".

Not interested in learning languages but I think foreign words just stick to him, he has tge easiest time picking them up

Pyro:

Definitely knows ASL like a champ. Tries to teach the mercs, too, with varying degrees of success.

Doesn't learn any new languages but constantly asks people what things are called in their native languages. Remembers about a third of the words he's given. Still worth it.

Demoman:

He could MASTER Russian phonetics but instead he's learning Klingon like the fucking nerd he is. I love him so much.

Probably speaks Gaelic also. I dunno, I don't know enough about Scotland unfortunately, even his speech patterns are hard for me

Heavy:

Fluent in French.

Starts out with zero knowledge of German but is very persistent and goes to great extents to learn it.

His English is piss but he probably had like. A two-week long express course before they shipped him to America. Jeebus Crust.

Engineer:

Picked up some Russian from Heavy, some German from Medic, some ASL from Pyro, some French from Spy. At some point even started saying "kurwa" in that Texan accent of his.

Probably decent in Spanish, too, cause why not.

Medic:

Fluent in Latin.

Knows like a dozen Russian words and none of them are PG-13.

Sniper:

I dunno. He reads upside down. He knows bird calls and stuff. Does that count? Morse code also.

NZSL.

Spy:

Oh, I'm gonna musspell this but. Here goes. Quebecois.

Says he can lip-read but actually can't.

Overpronounces every foreign dish name in restaurants like the pretentious bastard he is.

"Qruasön" I dunno.

Probably forgot something. Cheers!

[boymeetsweevil]

Call me maybe

Grouping: Reader x Namjoon

Word Count: ~6.59k

Warnings/Themes: Club meet-cute AU, 1% angst +99% suggestive fluff, (legal!) alcohol consumption, language, flirting anxiety(?)

Summary: It all started with a stupid drinking game...

A/N: this is the One Direction wattpad-style fanfic that's been haunting me for so long. beware of that and the fact that this is unedited hahaha...

“You know the rules, girls. Whoever wins this round of rock-paper-scissors is It.”

You and your three friends, warm and bubbly from 2 rounds of shots at this point in the evening, assume your battle stances and stick your hands into the center of your table. Four hands make a square over the scattered layer of empty decorative shot glasses from the bar in the club.

There’s an air of electric excitement that comes with this game, lovingly nicknamed Hunter-Gathering. Whoever is It gets a target and has to pursue that target in hopes of bringing ‘home’ free drinks for everyone the rest of the night. But no matter how attractive the target is, you can't ever bring them home.

“Wait, wait!” Lia chimes in. “I can’t be It this time. I did it twice already and my ass still hurts from the last time.”

Dani nods seriously. “Fair enough. That means the odds are upped for the rest of you.”

“So, we’re just gonna ignore that ass thing,” another friend, Alexa, looks around the table with confused eyes.

“Do you actually want me to give you the details?” Lia smiles slowly at her from across the table.

Alexa’s face brightens with her own smile, worry evaporated. “You know what? I don’t! Never mind.”

The game begins and somehow you find yourself the lone rock amongst two pairs of scissors. Alexa and Dani laugh with relief because they don’t have to put in any work tonight. You roll your eyes to the heavens and silently question your karma.

“Are you ready to pick your target?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“Nope!” Dani grins.

She steps forward and grabs a clean face mask out of her clutch bag and wraps it around your eyes, careful not to muss your makeup or hair. Three pairs of hands rest on your shoulders and you let them spin you lightly around a few times. Not enough to get you dizzy but just enough to make sure you don’t know what direction you’re facing anymore.

“Alright,” Dani’s voice sounds out over the music of the club. “Take your pick!”

You stick your hand out blindly and someone unties the makeshift blindfold. Everyone follows the line your hand makes all the way to a tall figure standing by the side of the bar.

He’s probably the most handsome man any of you have seen in a while. There's an intimidating aura emanating from him. You figure it's the understated all-black outfit complete with the heinously expensive watch he's wearing and the sheer height of him as he towers over people near him at the bar.

“Oh my god,” Dani whispers as you all take in the stranger’s face.

“We can finally get top shelf vodka,” Alexa pretends to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Not bad,” Lia hums in appreciation.

“Okay, why is everyone acting like I bagged him already?” Your voice grows high with nerves. “I'm pretty sure I have, like, a 2% chance of interesting him."

“What are you so worried about?” Dani crosses her arms at you. “Just do whatever you did to get those history nerds to help you out that one time."

"This is not the same thing. Those guys parted their hair 90/10 unironically and thought Diva Cups are for when you don't want to hold your pee when you stand in line for roller coasters."

"You're kidding," Lia gasps. You wish you were.

"Well, just pretend he's one of them anyway." Dani suggests, "Every guy is the same."

You can't argue with that logic.

“I mean, I can try flirting with him, but he’s probably so used to people throwing themselves at him. I don’t think anything I do would, like, make a dent, you know?”

“Babe, no. No—listen to me, okay?” Alexa takes you by the shoulders and forces you around so you can see how serious she is.

“Tonight is the last free night of vacation. After tonight, we have less than a day to get over our hangovers, pack up the Airbnb, and then catch our 6am flight back home to start the spring term. Our last night of freedom lies in your hands.”

“But, what if—”

“No ‘but’s. Do you see yourself? Do you see your skin in this fresh white two piece? Have you seen how your tits look in this off the shoulder top? That poor man doesn’t stand a chance!”

Lia murmurs her agreement in the background and Dani mentions something about fearing for the guy's soul. You think about the freakishly good pictures you all took in the stylish club bathroom when you first arrived.

“I see your point.”

You turn back toward the bar to review your target. He sips from a dark green bottle as he looks around at the people on the dance floor between your table and the bar. As he continues to scan the room, he locks eyes with you. You hold his gaze even though your instincts are screaming at you to duck for cover. Surprisingly, he gives a small smile and raises his bottle in salute.

"See, you got the hardest part down already. Just fake the rest until you make it."

You chance a look back in his direction only to catch him staring in the direction of the table. When he catches your gaze again, he whips his head away, cheeks tinging pink under the soft yellow lighting at the bar.

Alexa cackles and starts detailing all the drinks she wants made with the top shelf vodka. Lia and Dani discuss leaving early to go back and clean up the apartment so it’s clean in case you break the rules and bring this guy back for the night.

“Uh, aren’t you guys moving a little fast?”

“Aren’t you moving a little slow,” Alexa counters.

“Hold on, Lex.” Dani turns to you. “You know you don’t actually have to do this if you don’t want to, right? Hunter-Gathering is just a game, there's no pressure.”

For all their poking and teasing, you're reminded right then and there that your friends would never put you in a situation where they thought you were actually at any risk. The weight you felt on your shoulders lightens somewhat.

“No, no, I definitely still want to play, I just don’t want you guys to get your hopes up.”

“I believe in you.”

Lia bumps shoulders with you quietly. She’s not the most affectionate, so you know she really means it.

“I’ll do my best.”

You let them tweak you a little bit, fixing stray hairs and wiping away smeared lip gloss and hiking up your skirt, giving you their drink orders, before you grab your purse and phone and push in your stool.

When you finally make it to the bar, he’s in the same spot as you first found him in. He spots you once you get close enough and naturally makes room for you. You set your bag on the bar countertop before hopping up on the empty stool immediately in front of him. The movement causes your skirt to ride up even more and you’re glad you only let Lia hike it up one inch instead of three.

Dani's advice about treating this guy like any other scrub from school reverbs in the back of your head right as the nerves start to set in. With the guys in your art history class, your grade was on the line. There was no room for hesitation when you could barely draw a stick figure, much less write an essay analyzing what an old painting style could tell you about the dairy economy in a certain town like some of your classmates were doing. It was because you were desperate that you were suddenly able to transform into a femme fatale. It also helped that these guys quivered at any interaction with an adult woman.

Tonight's drinks are on the line, you tell yourself. As best you can, you try to trick yourself into entering the same mindset you were in when you would lay on the charm extra thick for the art history guys.

You let the corner of your mouth lift up in a coy smile while you survey the bar. The bartender is moving back and forth quickly to handle the high demand. A second later the girl next to you leaves her spot with a tray of 8 bright pink drinks, practically glowing in the dark. You wonder briefly if you should try to get a round of those for the table.

“—one of those before?”

His voice is deep and pleasant. When you give him a look over your shoulder, you have to suppress a gasp. Up close he's even more handsome. You really have your work cut out for you.

“What?"

"That neon pink drink," he nods back in the direction of the girl who'd taken the cotton candy pink drinks with her. "I was wondering if you'd tried them before."

“No, I haven’t,” you smile, letting your lips part slowly. His eyes dart from your painted eyes to the colored stretch of your mouth and then quickly back up. “Have you?”

“No. But I like to try new things.”

You purse your lips as if in thought, something you've seen other girls do while flirting with guys at school. “You must be pretty unpredictable, then.”

“Huh? Well, I wouldn’t say that.” He stammers a bit and nearly drops his beer bottle trying and failing to put it down. All the intimidation you felt coming from him earlier seems to have disappeared.

“I was just kidding.”

Like it has a mind of its own, your hand reaches out to rest on his arm reassuringly while you continue to laugh at him. His features clear up then and a relieved smile blooms on his face, bringing out an adorable dimple with it.

“You’re teasing me,” he realizes with a good natured huff and steps into your touch.

“You seem kinda fun to tease.” You let your hand linger a little longer before finally pulling it back.

“It’s kinda fun. You're pretty good at it.”

Oddly enough, this isn't as difficult for you as you thought it was going to be. In fact, you find yourself naturally tilting your head and fixing him with an intrigued look from under your lashes. He takes the opportunity to look you over as well, a small smile on his lips.

The personal attention does make you a little nervous despite the fact that it’s positive. So you dig in your purse to avoid looking directly at him for too long and to give your hands something to do. You brush up against a tube of lip gloss, pull it out, and reapply some to your lips.

You look back at him when you realize he’s grown quiet, only to find him following the movements of the gloss brush tracing the curve of your lips, cheeks dusted pink and eyes half-closed like he's in some sort of trance.

Experimentally you press your lips together and then purse them to make sure the gloss is distributed evenly. The man doesn't blink once. Suddenly, all his expensive apparel and large stature aren’t so intimidating.

"Is there something on my face," you smirk.

He slow blinks down at your mouth twice before realizing you're speaking again. His eyes grow wide and he raises a ringed hand to rub at the back of his neck. The movement rustles the hair covering his ears, revealing their pink tips. Cute.

"Just looking."

You laugh a little at him again. He marvels at the way the club lighting dances around in your glossy smile.

"So, how come I've never seen you here before?"

"Well...it's the first time me and my friends have come here."

"I see." He pivots to face you and leans his closest elbow on the counter of the bar. "Are you guys new to the area?"

"You could say that, yeah."

He raises an eyebrow when you don’t elaborate. Without looking away, he raises his hand to signal to the bartender that he wants another drink. When the bartender runs right over, you realize this guy actually might be a big deal. Silently you pull your card out of your wallet as the bartender makes their way over. You figure you’ll have to spend some money before you can really ask someone like him to buy drinks for your table.

"What'll it be,” the bartender asks.

"Two of those pink drinks please," he says and before you can place any order the bartender zooms away.

While the bartender starts preparing the drinks, you turn toward him.

"Who said I wanted the pink drink?"

He grins down at you, a dimple now popping up in each cheek. "Who said it's for you?"

"I'm pretty sure it's for me."

"And what makes you so sure?" He takes a step closer to you.

"Just a hunch," you hum before crossing your legs.

The white fabric of your skirt hikes up your thighs again with the movement. You smooth your palms over the soft material.

"Nice skirt."

"Yeah? You like it?"

"I like it," he admits quietly.

"And the top?" You gesture toward the pair of straps on the matching tube top, manicured nails gliding over your décolletage. He wets his lips.

"The top too."

He reaches out one large hand to one of the straps that have fallen over your shoulder. The drag of his fingers against your bare arm as he fixes it makes you shiver. You lament the loss of contact when pulls his hand back.

The bartender arrives with your drinks then, startling the both of you out of the little staring competition that had spontaneously started. The pink drink seems to glow from within, topped with whipped cream and full of little round ice cubes made from some sort of darker rose syrup floating in the liquid like lava in a lava lamp. The color barely prepares you for the thick sweetness that floods your mouth on the first sip.

"Oh, that's kinda..."

He huffs a laugh around his own first swallow and nods in agreement.

"Not what you wanted?"

"It's just really sweet. You like it?”

He shrugs. “It’s alright. But—"

The way he cuts himself off has you confused for a moment before he's reaching towards you cautiously. You're not too sure what's going on until you feel the pad of his thumb swipe over the corner of your lips carrying away some of the whipped topping from the drink. Your eyes widen when instead of wiping the cream on one of the cocktail napkins available on the counter he brings his thumb to his own lips. In a fraction of a second the cream is gone, but you're left feeling a rush of fluttering warmth on the side of your mouth and in the center of your chest.

"You think your friends would like these?” He slides his drink to the side so he can lean on his elbow and turn to you again. Now's your chance.

“Um, I don’t think this is really their style.”

“What is their style?”

You rattle off their drinks of choice, making sure to mention their favorite brands with a sigh. Of course, whenever you play this game, the brands can change depending on the budget of whoever’s buying. This time, you make sure to name drop as much as possible, per Alexa's request.

“Sounds like your friends really know what they like.”

“Yeah, they have really…unique tastes.” You falter a little under his amused stare. “But we don’t always drink that way. I mean, not every bar even carries all those to begin with.”

“That’s true.” He nods. “This bar has every single of them, though. Pretty lucky, huh?”

“Yep,” you chirp. You’re not sure if you’re in trouble or not because he’s still smiling. He seems to be onto the game, but doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“Well, it would be a shame not to welcome you all to the city. Get whatever you want. My treat.”

“Are you sure?”

You place your hand on his arm again and squeeze for good measure. You don’t miss the way his large bicep flexes under your touch. After a beat, he brings his hand up to grasp yours and holds it while signaling to the bartender again. You give him a blindingly bright smile and he strokes his thumb over your knuckles.

He asks the bartender to ‘take care’ of your table tonight on him, and you realize then that you’ve won the game. The victory isn't nearly as sweet as the pink drinks from earlier. The rules prohibit you from bringing him home or going over to his place. And even if it wasn't prohibited, your vacation is basically over.

“Where are you and your friends from?

You take his hand between yours and play with some of the rings on his fingers. They’re beautiful together in an eclectic way and you wonder if someone chose them for him.

“It’s a kind of small city, not like this one. It’s really just our university and then a few surrounding towns.”

“What made you guys move here then?"

"Oh, Right." You feel guilty. "Me and my friends are just here for vacation."

He blinks at you but takes the news in stride. "Well, if you want—I know the city pretty well since I have a place here—maybe I can give you a tour of the town later this week."

"I'd love that, I really would. But we're actually leaving tomorrow."

"For real?” His eyes grow wide and he looks down at your linked hands before looking over your face. You're shocked to see his features fall.

"Yeah, it sucks."

“Damn,” he smiles bittersweet at the floor. “I wish we’d bumped into each other sooner.”

“I absolutely agree," the sound of Alexa's voice rings loud in your ear.

“Uh, hello. Did you need me for something?" Your voice is high and tight as you fix her with an accusatory stare. You're not 100% positive, but it seemed like you and he were having a moment.

"No, babe, I just wanted to come over and show you my beautiful drink. I wanted to come show my gratitude to you both for making sure we have a good last night. The girls will appreciate that. Thank you, kind sir."

“Name’s Namjoon. And no need to thank me,” he smiles at the exchange between you two and sticks out his hand. Alexa daintily lays her hand in his and he lets out an incredulous laugh before playing along and raising it to his lips.

"What a gentleman," she coos before pinching lightly at the skin of your exposed back. It's a clear message just for you, telling you that there's about to be a change in plans. "What were you guys discussing?"

"I was actually about to offer up our booth. There's more than enough room for your table if you wanted to move. Me and my team—friends definitely wouldn't mind the company."

“You don’t have to do that!” You pipe up, suddenly shy. But it's quickly dashed away as Alexa pulls out her phone and opens up the groupchat.

"Let me just ask our friends if they’d like that."

You already know the answer, so you sigh quietly and gather up your card, phone, and purse. You can’t say you won’t miss the privacy from when it was just you and Namjoon, but you’re glad to be with your friends again as well.

The move from your little table to the VIP booth is lightning fast. By the time you get your own drink, Lia and Dani are already clutching their things and vibrating with excitement near the ropes leading to the VIP booth. A few of Namjoon’s friends are chatting with them from the other side of the ropes.

Once your group trickles in, you don't miss how they all arrange themselves in the booth so you're forced to sit on the end next to Namjoon with barely any space. The only options are to let one of your legs hang off the edge of the booth the whole time or sit practically half in his lap. Alexa winks at you over the first sip of her next very expensive drink.

Namjoon's friends are occupied by your friends re-telling some of the more exciting parts of the beginning of your vacation. Some story about how 'someone' lost their top while trying to jet ski. You send a weak glare to Lia as she tries to get them to guess just whose top it was. That's what you get for experimenting with spaghetti strings, you suppose.

"Do you guys like to dance," one of his friends says after a while of vibing to the music once the chatter cools down. Hoseok, you think his name was.

"Yes, definitely." Dani remarks while re-applying lip gloss. "You know who's a great dancer?"

"Who?" Hoseok looks around excitedly.

"She's gonna say me," you groan. "Which is not even true but let’s just all move down there already, no more 20 questions."

"Just one more," she pouts. "Namjoon, do you like to dance?"

He looks down at you once he's also out the booth, that little amused smile back on his lips.

"Well, it's not really part of my day job, but I don't mind it too much."

"What's your day job," you blurt out.

"I'm a...musician."

"A musician!" Alexa rushes over to you to link arms. "Did you hear that? Namjoon’s a musician."

"I don't recognize you," Lia says and Hoseok and another one of his friends burst into quiet laughter behind her.

"You definitely won't find Joon’s pics anywhere, that's for sure," one of his friends says. The rest of them dissolve into another fit of giggles.

The club lights hide the muted pink tinge his cheeks take on, and Namjoon leads the way to the dance-floor with a chagrined roll of his eyes.

"You think he's really a musician?” You whisper to Alexa and Lia. Dani is somewhere up ahead, already dancing.

"Maybe technically. Going off the way his friends keep laughing, he's probably, like, a failed SoundCloud rapper or something."

"No failed SoundCloud rapper wears Gucci like that," Lia motions with her chin to some piece of Namjoon’s outfit.

"That's true," you hum.

"Rich parents," Alexa says simply.

You and Lia consider it and then nod.

As you settle on the dance floor, you feel the rest of your nerves drift away. Lia comes over to take a selfie with you, and the two of you flirt with the camera until she's satisfied with the photos you've taken. She grabs your hand and makes a show of spinning you around and you figure that this is how the night will go before you stumble out around 2 or 3am and drunk pack for the flight home the next morning. You let her lead you back, further into the crowd before you bump into someone.

Namjoon's large hand comes to stabilize you at your waist and Lia acts like nothing happened before dancing away, phone light illuminating her sneaky smile.

"You good?" Namjoon's voice is soft in your ear.

"Y-yeah."

"You wanna dance, or should I let you go?"

Your friends shamelessly all look at the way he curves himself around you, all with their thumbs up in encouragement. You're reminded of the way you did the same a few nights prior when Dani was getting hit on by some cute guy at a different club.

At that time it felt fun hyping her up and watching her make a move, seeing how enamored this random guy was with your friend. Of course he is, you thought at the time, she's amazing. And you remember that this is probably what's driving them tonight as well with you and Namjoon.

You chance a look at him and realize that he's come to rest his cheek lightly near your temple, a soft look in his gaze as he awaits your answer.

"Sure, let's dance."

Namjoon was telling the truth when he said he wasn't all that into dancing. But he put in enough work to be able to follow you and meet you halfway while you were grinding on him to the music.

Even when you shyly stepped away after the first few dances to return to your squealing friends, you loosened up over time with more music and drinks and found yourself naturally ending up on him again. The first few songs turned into more and more and soon you were face-to-face, with his thigh wedged between yours and a heavy palm on your lower back guiding you to the beat.

You're not sure when you decided to abandon your friends and his, but at some point you did return to the booth under the guise of checking your phones. And you did check your phone first. But soon he was crowding you toward the wall by the booth and leaving you with no air of your own.

"You're really leaving tomorrow," he sighed into a bruise he was trying to leave near the hollow of your throat. "Or did you just say that because I was some creep at a bar."

"I never thought you were a creep."

He looks down at you with disbelief before getting distracted by your kiss-swollen lips.

"I mean it. I'm just a little shy sometimes."

"What do you have to be shy about when you look like this, huh?"

"Stop," you laugh lightly and look away from him.

He'd made a comment earlier about how much he liked the pristine white two piece you wore, but you'd been inching his hand up your skirt then. Now, one of his thumbs rubs an idle pattern just below the curve of your breast.

"No, but seriously. Are you actually leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah. The new term starts for us all in a few days."

"So, leave in a few days," Namjoon whines.

"That's not enough time to get ready for the term."

"But I'll be so alone without you."

He gives you an exaggerated pout that splits into a real smile when you snort at his stupid expression. He pulls you to him just a smidgen tighter then.

"Does this usually work with other girls?"

"I don't know. Never tried it with other girls," he frowns a little at you.

"Sure."

"You know me and the team almost went to Club BigHit last Saturday?"

"Oh, really? That's kinda funny." You try to imagine what might have happened if he'd come to the same club you went to earlier.

"Yeah," Namjoon's voice grows quiet. "If I hadn't gotten sick then we would have met last week."

"Yeah, maybe."

"You sure you can't miss a few days of the term?"

"Yes, I'm sure." You let out an exasperated laugh. "You can't really be this upset that an actual stranger is just passing through your life."

"No, I know. I just—," he lets his head fall forward until he's touching his forehead to yours. "It was like something clicked when I saw you. I feel like I need more time with you."

"Oh," your voice comes out a little breathier than you expected.

The same look that had flashed across his face when you first came up to him finally gets to rest on his features. You want to let him down gently because you really can't play catch up during the first week of school.

"Tell you what. I can't miss the beginning of the term but if you make a song with my name in it and it gets...say, 50,000 listens, I'll buy a ticket that same day and come meet you. Wherever you are."

He pins you with a look then, inquisitive and dark. His eyes scan your open expression for something, before whatever he finds passes the test. He stands up tall.

"And it just needs to have 50,000 listens?"

In your mind you were thinking it would be too lofty for a failed SoundCloud rapper, but something in his tone sounds like he's rising to the challenge and it makes you nervous. You spent a lot on this vacation, you can't afford to actually fly out so soon if he somehow managed to get the listens and call your bluff. Besides, targets are off limits.

"Um, actually make that 150,000. And it has to have my area code in it too." You rattle off the three digits to him and he quickly types your conditions into the notes app on his phone.

"Is that it?"

"That's it, I guess."

"Deal."

Namjoon pockets his phone and leans back into your space. Any worries you had clawing to the forefront of your mind vanish when he presses soft lips to yours once more.

A month passes.

You don't end up having a one-night-stand with Namjoon because it wouldn't be fair to your friends when they'd clicked with a target but didn't take them home. That and because Dani got sick on the dance floor from mixing strawberry daiquiri with one too many pink drinks. But you do pass on your full number after he very nearly begs you to give it to him while packing into a cab.

And then he never used it.

It's not that you were expecting much, but when a month passes with not so much as word from him, you figure he forgot about you and your little bet.

Then 2 months pass.

Even though you know that you only spent a fraction of a day with him, you can't help thinking about Namjoon. Namjoon and his pretty eyes and pretty words that made you think there was some sort of connection there. You realize after the first two weeks back that you don't have his number but by the time 2 months pass, you realize that was definitely on purpose.

4 months pass.

You're over it, swamped with end of term work like finals and grading and putting in hours at work. But every time your friends suggest a little fun and hooking you up with someone, every time someone asked for your number at a coffee shop, you said no. Because you're over it and you're busy and not at all disappointed for how hard you fell for the lies some failed SoundCloud rapper fed you on a vacation one time.

19 weeks pass.

You're all in Lia's apartment, basking in the first few days of the end of classes even if it means finals are a few days later. Alexa is playing her favorite playlist on the speakers and you're taking a break to get some coffee going in the small kitchenette.

While the coffee machine starts up you wander back to the main room. Alexa is leaning over to turn the music up, one of her favorite songs just now coming up.

"Who's this again," Dani pipes up from her spot on the couch. "It's that one guy's collab with the Bulletproof Girlscouts, right?"

"Yep," Alexa checks the song title before sighing. "This song is so old now."

"True, but it's my favorite one on the whole album."

"I guess it really has been two years since his last album, huh." Dani muses and then goes back to her practice problem set.

You try not to laugh at how cute Alexa looks sulking because her favorite artist hasn't put out any music in so long.

"Why don't you just play his new stuff," Lia says.

"He's on indefinite hiatus. This is as new as it gets."

Lia picks up her own phone, showing it to the group.

"He released a new single this morning."

"What!"

Alexa scrambles from her seat to grab her headphones and jam them into her phone. You all know how she gets about her music and let her have a moment to soak up the new song while you get up to check on the coffee.

It takes a few minutes to get cups out and put everything together since everyone has different tastes, so you're in the middle of pouring creamer when you hear a chorus of screams.

"Why are we screaming?"

You rush into the main room again only to be bombarded with music from the speaker, this time turned up as high as it can go. What must be the new song comes through the speaker, the bass vibrating on the ground as the speaker pumps.

"Okay, yes, new song. It's good but I don't get—"

"Just listen to the fucking bridge," Dani's voice comes out incredibly shrill as she cuts you off.

The beat surges for the bridge and suddenly the lyrics turn into the artist growling about some girl he met at the club with the prettiest little white outfit he'd ever seen. Saying something that sounds oddly like your name, although you figure that can't be right. But then the next verse has your name in it too, and the next one, and the next one.

Your feet take you to where Alexa's phone is plugged in and you pick up the phone to look at the song. It's indeed a song by her favorite artist, a prolific and mysterious rapper who's never shown his face and who'd been on hiatus from making music. The song title is simple, a small string of numbers that look suspiciously like your area code.

When you let out a tiny gasp, your friends let out more excited shrieks. You ignore them in favor of thumbing through the music app to the artist's page where the new single lies at the top of his discography. To the right of all his songs are the stream counts. Most of his older songs have a few dozen million or so. This brand new one sits at a modest 4 million, but the numbers trickle up as the app updates them in real time.

"What the hell?"

"I know!" Alexa cries, tears shining in her eyes. "I can't believe we sat in a VIP booth with him and I didn't even recognize his stupid voice!"

"What are you gonna do," Dani smiles widely at your stunned face. "Are you gonna call him?"

"I don't have his number," you say simply. Your voice comes out monotone with shock.

"You didn't get his number?" Alexa starts crying for real.

"People are blowing my phone up about this," Lia says once the song ends and begins again on a loop. "You might want to turn off your phone. It's just a matter of time until people start snooping around."

"Right."

You grab your phone from your pocket. On instinct you scan through your socials one last time before turning it off. There's a startling number of texts, calls, emails, and notifications on your social media apps. Curiosity gets the best of you and you open up one of them only to find your name trending as the top hashtag. Clicking on it brings up a bunch of tweets both from fans raving about the new song and wondering who the muse is, to random accounts with identical names in the handle all claiming to be said muse.

"Oh my god, he tweeted!" Dani shoves her phone into your hands.

As of right now [2:38pm] we're at 5.76 million streams. That's more than 150,000...

"What does that mean," she asks you.

"It means...he wants me to fly out to see him. Today."

"Oh my god."

Alexa screams again and at this point you've lost count of how many that is. Lia gets out of her chair and tucks her chin over your shoulder to read the post herself.

"You need to go," Alexa shouts. "I'll help you pack, let's go."

"What about finals?"

"Are you—are you actually thinking of not going because of finals?"

"I mean—"

"If you want me die, just say that," she does something with her mouth that looks like a manic smile.

"What Lex means to say is that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm sure even the profs would understand."

You're not sure what to say. First of all, you still don't have his number. Second of all, you're not sure how to fight through all the other accounts claiming to be you to let him know you saw the song. Third, you don't even know where to fly to. Fourth—

A Twitter notification chimes from your phone and a deadly hush falls over everyone. You go to your DM inbox with shaking fingers only to find a message request from an unknown sender. When you open the request, it's from Namjoon's agency.

Good afternoon,

You are being contacted today because one of our artists wishes to meet you. If you consent to the meeting, please review the flight information and tentative itinerary below and respond with your address and contact information. Please also note that the travel plans are for today [MM/DD/YYYY], so your response at your earliest convenience would be much appreciated. If you would like to go but cannot make it today—

"Do you think they'll send a car or should I book her a ride to the airport now?" Dani turns to Alexa.

"They'll probably send one to make sure the schedule is followed."

"That's true but what about—"

Lia taps you on the shoulder, startling you out of your stupor.

"There's a convenience store two doors down. Whatever you buy we can put in one of my suitcases and you can just take that. There's probably not enough time to go all the way back to your place."

"I—yeah, okay."

7 hours later finds Alexa, Dani and Lia finished with studying for the night. The entertainment channel is playing on the TV and the three of them have their heads bent over their phones and laptops, refreshing all the major gossip sites for updates.

"Maybe she's not even there yet," Dani sighs when the page she just refreshed shows no new posts.

"Yeah, I mean we still don't even know where she is," Lia says while putting her laptop to sleep. "What if they made her sign an NDA?"

"Even if they did, she'd probably still tell us once she got there. She's probably just busy killing time on the plane."

"She's sleeping!" Alexa screams a second later.

"Huh? How do you know that?"

"Check his instagram," is all she says before frantically typing a message to you about souvenirs.

Lia looks over at Dani's phone as she pulls up Namjoon's page. The rest of the layout is bare given his up until recent hiatus and the fact that he never posted any type of selfie. The video uploaded a mere 20 seconds ago undoes all the previous minimalism of the entire account.

The post isn't even of Namjoon. It's a black and white 5 second video of the top half of your naked back and shoulders, the rest of your body covered by the sheets. One of your arms is raised to cover your head with a pillow. The only sign of Namjoon is the arm that reaches out from the bottom of the frame, making it clear that he took the video himself. His hand reaches out to trace a heart over the skin of your shoulder blade. The caption reads:

Thanks for keeping your promise

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

One thing that has always bothered me about the magical system in HP is how much it... doesn’t exist? No one questions anything, there’s almost no theoretical exploration, and Hermione Granger (someone I’ve always found to be of average intelligence at best) is the brightest witch of her age.

Some characters seem to be inexplicably more powerful, but I wonder if it isn’t simply a matter of discipline and will-power.

What are your thoughts on magic? We never really see what light vs. dark entails, so fanfic authors tend to make it up as they go along, but do you have any head-canons about how magic works in HP?

I mean, to be fair, it wasn’t really the point of JKR’s series. She just wanted to write about a kid going to a magic boarding school in Scotland with this quirky witch aesthetic. 

No need for her to placate us uber nerds who demand a sensible explanation to the minutia of her magical system. 

Right, but yes, it clearly bothers me too. No one questions anything, there’s no understanding of why wands and spells even work, or why it has to be in this weird pseudo-Latin. No one even bothers to learn Latin, for that matter, and you think they would given the damn spells. 

Hermione Granger is the brightest witch of her age given that “her age” is either around 30 people (the amount of people in her year) or else around 300 (the population of Hogwarts at a given time) which is a pitiful amount. She also is an extremely hard worker and actually reads her textbooks, sadly I think this gets you ahead of 95% of the population.

Part of the reason I think the Wizarding World thinks like this is that they’re this incredibly tiny, cut off, insular society. Generally, when you have a small society cut off like that you tend to lose innovation or even understanding of technology you have.

But that’s not what you asked. Right.

Personally, I think there is no light and dark magic. Magic is just this part of the natural universe that muggles, for whatever reason, are not able to directly access. It’s neither good nor bad, it just is. For that matter, I don’t think spells themselves really exist, or rather, they’re not what magic really is in its purest form but instead a way that humans can easily access and control magic to perform a certain task. Kind of a glorified API if you will. 

So, dark magic and light magic are instead arbitrary labels that wizards apply to their own tool box based on the functions of that tool. If you have a tool that is only designed for/can be used for the murder and torture of sentient beings: well, that’s bad, we’ll call that dark. That said, do I think the spells themselves are inherently evil? No. It’s like if you open up your tool box, pick out a sledgehammer, and go, “This, my child, is an instrument of pure evil and you must never touch it.” Well, that’s a bad comparison, it’d be like taking a handgun out of your tool box and saying “this is a dark weapon”. Now, this gets into a debate I don’t want to get into, but to me dark spells are a lot like handguns (they’re designed for only one purpose and there’s no squirming your way out of what that purpose is).

Now, I think wizards have forgotten this (mostly because they don’t understand what spells or magic is), and so they get very hung up on the labels of spells or even just your odd genetic trait (i.e. parseltongue). So, we have these weird moments where someone uses, say, the severing charm to cut somebody open in the middle of the street. And it’s less bad than if they had used the killing curse to kill them painlessly and easily, because the severing charm’s not dark magic. 

It’s like... If someone were to walk out and bash someone over the head with a sledgehammer until it kills them it’s less evil than if they shot them in the head with a handgun.

Wizards seem to miss the point of this. 

As for what magic is, I believe it’s... direct energy that wizards are able to access in a way that muggles (thus far) cannot. What do I mean by thus far? Well, look at electricity. In ye olden days, I’m sure that if you asked a wizard they would say that making artificial light without flame is a property solely done by magic and muggles are not capable of it. Well, muggles then did it, and suddenly the definition and parameters of magic change. Wizards are kind of like chess grand masters who suddenly lose to your AI du jour, who say that it doesn’t count because the AI didn’t really do it like a human would. It’s not real intelligence.

I don’t believe people have magic in and of themselves, any more than anyone else does at any rate, because we see too little differences between powerful and mediocre wizards. You’re either a squib or you’re not, there doesn’t really seem to be a spectrum, and those who struggle with spells appear to do so for other reasons (Neville has severe confidence issues and is traumatized, Harry’s an idiot, etc.) 

I think what separates the great wizards from the rest is hard work, the ability to read books and learn from them, even an inkling of understanding of how spells really work and how to create them (and this makes you Voldemort level right here), and a good ear to be able to pronounce your ridiculous pseudo Latin.

The wand is a tool specifically designed so that, with repeatable easy to understand steps, you can perform a whole array of tasks and even use them as building blocks to develop a new spell (combine swishes, flicks, and various garbled sentences together in such a way and BAM new spell).

Your wand, in other words, is your API to direct and access untold amounts of energy from the universe.

But people have forgotten that so instead what you memorize are very specific function calls that will prove useful in your daily life.

As for the wand and spells themselves, well, here’s my hokey ridiculous theory on how that came about. A long time ago, a brilliant foreigner enters the Roman Empire with a revolutionary idea that puts him on the level of Einstein/Newton/Feynman Name Your Stupidly Brilliant Physicist. He says, hey, how about instead of doing these time consuming magical rituals we develop a tool that, in a matter of seconds, allows us to perform truly complicated and powerful magic any time we want. No more relying on having the right ingredients about, virgin sacrifices, the full moon, etc.

Everyone probably laughs at him, but then he goes off and designs a rudimentary wand, and through probably some uber ritual that was dangerous as hell implements this system by which by flicking your wand a certain way and saying basic commands like “levitate”, “repair”, etc. you can perform these tasks.

Only, the guy’s foreign and Good Will Hunting (no formal education in the empire), so he doesn’t actually speak Latin. So what you have instead is this weird half-Latin like, “Leviupwards Fly”, “Repair-o”, etc. 

It sounds dumb as hell, but goddammit it works, and more it gives Roman wizards an unheard of advantage against their enemy wizards who are all stuck doing these stupid rituals. They suddenly have a vast military might, so long as they use these wands and spells this guy came up with.

Everybody who’s anybody, who wants to win a fight, is now using wands. Wandcraft becomes a huge deal and people specialize in fine tuning these things exactly so as to get the maximum efficiency for a particular user.

And they probably go up to our guy and say, “Hey, buddy, can you make this in actual Latin? I can barely remember what it is I’m supposed to say to get this to work” and after the hours, and hours, and hours he spent making this thing that nobody helped him with he goes, “DO IT YOURSELF, BITCH”. And they never do because they’re too damn lazy/have no idea how he actually did it and any attempt to recreate it ends up with something that’s pitiful and doesn’t work. 

So, they’re all stuck with it, and thousands of years later they forget this guy even existed and while there’s a recognition that not all magic has to be performed by wands there’s just this feeling that the wand is the magic. And so no one will ever come up with an English/French/Whatever version where when you say “Up” the thing goes up. 

And that’s “The History of Magic” as brought to you by The Carnivorous Muffin.

[therealvinelle]

Carlisle and theology

So, there are a lot of thoughts in this fandom on Carlisle’s brand of faith, and Carlisle seeing vampirism as inherent sin, and it’s time for this Christian philosophy nerd to butt in, featuring all the quotes.

First of, let me do my usual disclaimer - the Carlisle of the books is not the Carlisle of the movies. Carlisle of the movies believes he’s damned, because while the movie does mostly quote the conversation from the books, they cut him off halfway through, completely changing the meaning. Book Carlisle is making an argument, and his conclusion is the opposite: vampires have souls.

"Edward's with me up to a point. God and heaven exist… and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind." Carlisle's voice was very soft; he stared out the big window over the sink, into the darkness. "You see, he thinks we've lost our souls." (New Moon, page 20)

Later in the same book when Edward believes he has died and gone to heaven, his first words are: “Carlisle was right.”

So, book Carlisle doesn’t believe they’re all damned. If he did, creating others would be to damn them. If he had doubts about their souls and decided to risk it anyway, his “I made vampires” angst would be about their souls. It’s not:

"(Choosing to turn others) is the one part I can never be sure of. I think, in most other ways, that I've done the best I could with what I had to work with. But was it right to doom the others to this life? I can't decide." (New Moon, page 21)

was it right to doom the others to this life.

He says nothing about their souls. His issue is the life they’re now living because of him: “was it right to turn others into bloodsucking demons, all of whom have a body count?”

Which is a very fair question, I’d be wondering that too. Edward, Emmett, Esme, and Rosalie are all murderers, they live in the constant pain of bloodlust, they must live in this very particular way or be nomads, and they’re not truly immortal, for sooner or later death will come in the brutal form of being torn apart and burned. Not to mention both Edward and Rosalie have very ambivalent feelings about what they became.

Carlisle wondering if turning them was the right call appears to have nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with the pragmatic reality of what it means to have created a vampire.

But if Carlisle doesn’t believe vampires are damned, what does he think then?

His backstory, admittedly told through Edward (who projects a lot onto Carlisle), is helpful.

His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again. (Twilight, page 160)

Carlisle had been raised to believe in witches and demons, eternal damnation for the wicked and the whole shebang. He wakes up a vampire and he knows what this means, he is now a senseless monster who kills people. 

Well, turns out this isn’t the case. He doesn’t have to kill people. More, he still has his faith in God, which by protestant doctrine is what you need to enter Heaven. (This right here is one big bone I have to pick with fanon Carlisle. People keep ascribing a very Catholic brand of theology onto him, as he believes existence is sin and one must do penance. He’s Anglican, and Anglicans adopted Protestant doctrine. Protestant salvation comes through faith.)

Now, if his existence doesn’t automatically lead to sin, and if he is still in command of himself, able to believe in God and be devout, who’s to say he’s damned?

The urge to kill people remains present, of course, but humans are tempted to sin too. All of God’s children are tempted. (And yes, he did arrive at the conclusion that vampires are among God’s children. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t believe they had souls.)

Edward specifies that Carlisle created his own philosophy. As in, he didn’t just say “I don’t have to kill people, neat. Being a monster is still horrible, though”, he sat down and went full Zarathustra.

This is where my love for theology comes in.

Christian thought is founded on the relationship between God and Man. How Man is saved, the definition of sin, absolution, all of it - it’s all built on the supposition that Man is human. Well, Carlisle just found out that there’s God, Man, and Vampire - and potentially (Carlisle at this early point in time would still think witches and such were real) others as well.

He also learned that the notion of monsters being bound to sin, or having made deals with Satan, are also wrong. He never met the guy, he has his conscience, and he lives as morally as ever.

This invalidates pretty much everything he ever learned, and Carlisle’s sitting there in the English woods realizing the same thing Nietzsche later would when science challenged religion: he has to figure out Christianity from scratch.

I think Carlisle came up with his very own doctrine.

Edward outright says so: his new philosophy was born. We see Carlisle engage in all sorts of behavior completely contrary to anything a devout 17th century priest would have been doing. He associates with heathens like Aro, Amun, or the Amazonians, allows his family to be non-believers, considers fallen women like the Denali to be wonderful people and respects them as equals, he performs abortions, he allows material luxuries under his roof, he marries a woman who committed suicide.

There’s also the fact that his was a time full of alternate interpretations of Scripture. I won’t get into this part of European history, suffice to say that with Martin Luther’s 97 theses, the Christian world exploded with different sects and branches. Anabaptism, Calvinism, Quakers, Lutherans, the list just keeps going. It wouldn’t have been a foreign concept to Carlisle to sit down and say “Alright, who is God and what does He want from us”

I keep seeing Carlisle written as a Christian parody who cries because once when he was having sex with Esme in the dark some light entered the room and he saw her ankle, and now he thinks they’re both going to hell. And if we’re talking about the movies then sure, that guy seems the type. Book Carlisle is not this, and there’s nothing in canon to indicate as much, quite the contrary. (Yes, Edward is angsty about souls, but that’s not what Carlisle believes at all. It’s made clear over and over these two don’t agree on religion, so the argument that Edward somehow downloaded his religious angst from Carlisle defeats itself.)

It seems to me Carlisle came to the conclusion that sin is to take lives for pleasure, and that vampires are neither damned nor inherently sinful. This is the only action he appears to condemn, to view as sinful. Apart from that, he will kill to defend himself or others (the newborn battle and James), he’s pro-abortion, and he did not oppose Rosalie getting her revenge.

Apart from that I’m not going to extrapolate much, in part because that’d be hard to do when we don’t have a lot to go on and I’m not actually a theologician, and in part because this post is very long now. Feel free to ask if someone wants me putting on my philosophy hat and pretending I’m a vampire with a religious crisis.

(I will say this though: the notion of vampires being inherently sinful is just Original Sin in a hat. If Carlisle believes in it, then he also believes in Original Sin for humans, vice versa if he doesn’t. Doesn’t seem to be the case, but if it is then the vampirism by itself still isn’t any more damned than humanity.)

[minetteskvareninova]

Hey, put those poor nits where you picked them from, will ya? Anyway, thank you very much for demonstrating the difference between reasonable and valid by providing us with arguments that are also invalid, but this time also unreasonable.

"unless your standard of proof must be a written law condoning fratricide and kinslaying which would be impossible in Westeros" - I don't really understand this argument, do you mean like, the law is impossible to enforce on a reigning monarch? Which, okay, fair, but that still doesn't make preemptive kinslaying an ESTABLISHED PRACTICE that one of the greatest monarchs gave his descendants a blank check on, like in the Ottoman Empire.

I thought the Jeyne was supposed to be an argument for what Rhaenyra might do to Aegon if she sees him as a threat to his rule??? But my mistake for thinking you'll keep to the ENTIRE POINT OF THIS DEBATE.

*sigh* Yes, Rhaenyra's position is precarious, both because of her gender and the illegitimacy of her children (well, kinda, sorta, they are in this weird position where they are legally legitimate, but on the basis of biological parentage they do not possess and which they maintain by their parents' gaslighting of the entire country). Methinks that would make her all the more fearful of any signs of dissent from Aegon, innit? Methinks Alicent could, perhaps, try to make it clear she is on her side and not go against her??? If Alicent wanted to, she absolutely could've participated in the charade and publically maintain the facade that Laenor is the biological father of his children. But she didn't. Now, I don't want to sound like I am judging her, but also let's not pretend she had no choice here but to do what she did.

Let's be clear here. In episode 6 Alicent isn't acting on any "public image" that Rhaenyra is "projecting". Her main arguments are a) her dad said so; b) she doesn't trust Rhaenyra because of their falling out. Before episode 7, Rhaenyra isn't trying to project a threatening image - and again, when she finally does in episodes 8-10, Alicent clearly doesn't believe it enough to not at least try her hand at offering her peace... AFTER she usurped her throne! And yes, the position of the Greens is strong, or else their peace conditions wouldn't be so bold, but Rhaenyra still could fight if she chose to. Hell, if Daemon truly had that much influence on her, and if she truly was as bloodthirsty, she absolutely would. But it's not even that he doesn't and she isn't - it's that ALICENT clearly doesn't believe it. That's why she tried to appeal to her emotions with the book page and the "common motherhood" thing (which is a stupid argument and I don't remember her making it, but dunno, she might've). Because even after everything you just called her out for, Rhaenyra still regained Alicent's trust once she expended a modicum of effort on it. And that's what I'm getting at here. Alicent isn't a perfectly rational actor acting on the nigh certainty that Rhaenyra's ascencion will spell her children's doom (as Hürrem does). Alicent is, at best, trying to assess the likelihood Rhaenyra will turn out to be a Maegor-level tyrant purely based on vibes, and her vibe check is broken by Otto.

Oh yes, her beloved father who only ever wanted what's best for her, that is marrying an old man she finds physically repulsive, and the horrible, reckless Rhaenyra, who *reads smudged handwriting* had premarital sex that one time and lied about it in order to not get into trouble. To Alicent. Who absolutely had every reason to know such crucial information that most definitely has effect on her own life. Okay, that's the final straw for me - this post was written by Otto.

The one positive thing I can say is that Süleyman II. is an unexpected Ottoman history deep cut, so full respect to a true nerd. Where did you get that quote? Care for some book recommendations?

I finally realized why it always rubs me the wrong way when people compare Alicent to Hürrem: despite multiple genuine similarities between the two, people often use it to imply things about Alicent (and Rhaenyra) that are just plain untrue. Notably, Hürrem has legitimate reasons to worry about her sons' lives, while Alicent... Just doesn't. I am sorry, she really fucking doesn't.

First off, let's make something very clear - recent history of their worlds is very much on Hürrem's side, while with Alicent, it's a lot less clear. Notably, while the oldest members of the Ottoman dynasty, when the empire was just really just a small emirate in Anatolia, were able to peacefully coexist with their brothers and other male relatives that could challenge their power, as the empire grew, so did the propensity of potential candidates for the throne to fight over it. By the time Süleyman I. became the sultan, fratricide was very much an established practice. Ottoman succession laws were rather murky, and at the time the show takes place, the good old "to the strongest" principle was in place when it comes to deciding which prince was to become the next ruler. There was some sense that the oldest has more right to the throne than his brothers - hence Mustafa being considered the strongest candidate, along with his general popularity among the janissaries - but Selim I. did win the throne from his older brother, so it was hardly set in stone.

Then there's Westeros, which is a lot more complicated. Sure, you did have Maegor I. usurping and murdering two of his nephews, where the third was only saved by going into hiding, but notably that was only after the oldest one rose in open rebellion towards him. Now, Aegon the Uncrowned wasn't really in the wrong there, considering Maegor had at that point already burned the Starry Sept and generally showed himself to be the absolute worst. Aegon was fully within his rights to be worried about the fate of himself, his own family and the whole country. But it's worth noting, because even the most tyrannical king Westeros had up to that point didn't just shank his nephews completely unprovoked (as was at the time the show was set already an established practice for the Ottomans). Hell, Maegor previously fully supported the reign of his older brother, apparently for no other reason than because of affection between them. Even after they had a falling out because of Maegor's bigamy, Maegor went into exile rather than directly challenge his brother's rule.

Then we have Viserys I., whose claim was also contentious, but after it was cemented trough legalistic means, noone ever went directly against him. It's worth noting that Rhaenyra's claim too was established trough legalistic means (her father's decree) and just like Viserys' claim, it also went against the common practice of Westerosi succession. Admittedly, Rhaenyra's claim was much less stable, mostly because of her gender, but still. In addition, there is absolutely no indication that Rhaenyra would ever go the Maegor route if her throne wasn't usurped; admittedly, she would've kept a close watch on her brothers (and they might be in danger if there is ever an unrelated crisis during Rhaenyra's death - possibly, maybe), but that's far from the "certain death" scenario Alicent presents to Aegon the Trashy. And considering the alternative is a civil war, which also endangers the lives of her children... Yeah, keeping your head down and trying to appear as faithful as possible to Rhaenyra suddenly seems like a pretty viable option, doesn't it?

But that would mean Alicent has to firmly go against her manipulative father and place her trust in Rhaenyra just after she lied to her about *gasp* having premarital sex, and she just isn't emotionally ready for that.

Look, I am not saying Alicent doesn't have good character-driven reasons to be horribly, horribly wrong. But she is. By God is she wrong. Superficially, hers and Hürrem's situation are similar. But one of them is probably right, while the other is just wrong. And that makes all the difference.

[iisuya-simps]

Hello! May I please request headcanons with the buster bros (+Samatoki? If that’s okay!) with an S/O who is into anime + idol (rhythm) games? Thank you! Hope you’re having a good day/night 💙

A/N: *Rubs hands together* Buckle up yall, this is a long one. I may have had too much fun writing this... :p lol enjoy~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ichiro Yamada

Ichiro first saw you at a manga cafe rocking some merch from your favorite game franchise and had to go over and talk to you

he also found out that you're into anime too

he may try and quiz you to test how into games/anime you are

his eyes light up and his heart pounds but he plays it cool

after a long interrogation conversation, he asked if you would meet him back at the cafe next week

he lent you the latest issue of a light novel that you never got around to reading

now he would have an excuse to see you again

a few months later one of your favorite animes was being played in the theatre once so you both went on a date to see it

if its a sappy rom-com he will 100% deny that he cried and brush it off as an eyelash caught in his eye

but he totally did

to be fair you did too

though he may prefer light novels over anime most times

he will totally sit down at watch the new season of an anime you two enjoy together

prepare for a brain malfunction if you tell him you're into cosplaying

"oh yeah I cosplayed them a year ago"

"y-you wouldn't happen to have any pictures, w-would you?"👀"

*cue nosebleed*

"That's it, I've found my soulmate" he says he's kidding but actually means it

ANYWAY

him being a weeb

Ichiro is also well versed in rhythm games

he will tell you if your waifu/husbando is trash or not

you both have your own little superstitions and rituals you do before gacha pulls

you might use a certain finger to click the screen because that's the lucky one

Ichiro turns the volume up and closes his eyes before clicking

"What no way!! CLICK MY SCREEN! YOU'RE LUCKY TODAY!"

"AHHH thank you y/n! Look at them! They're so cute!"

you both marvel over the cute characters

he is totally impressed by the songs you can do on pro/master

"NO WAY A FULL COMBO?!?!! You're amazing!" 😍

he will totally challenge you to see who can get a better score

but you always win

he did come close a few times

but gets flustered and flubs it up at the end when you're watching over this shoulder

he finds it cute when you're humming along to the songs while DESTROYING the beat map

Bonus+

*you unbox a package left on the doorstep to find a scanty cosplay* "Ichiro, what is this?!?" "What? I thought you would look cute in it" ;p "I'm not dressing up as your favorite idol!" "wh- babe why not?!" :"( "ok maybe..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jiro Yamada

Like Ichiro, Jiro is a big nerd too

you two met in a soccer match of all places

you were taking a break during halftime when you quoted a line from some weird obscure anime

"No way you watch ___ too? I thought I was the only one!"

you haven't seen each other before because you're on different teams from rivalling schools

after the game he gives you his number then the rest is history

you two end up messaging each other all night talking about other animes and games you enjoy

he likes sports animes along with action and adventure

you also found out he plays rhythm games too

after a while, he'll invite you over to the Yamada household and show you his collection of light novels and games

"There's more where this came from, my big bro is a bigger nerd than I am."

you'll sit down on his bed and show each other your cards and play a few songs

"Jiro why is your tap sound louder than the music!?!?"

"I need to hear the beats or I'll fail the stage!!"

He might challenge you to see who can get a higher score

you both play on hard

but you're pretty evenly matched

"Haha! That's a point for me, y/n!"

"No fair! I don't know that song very well..."

If you don't have the best gacha luck Jiro will cry with you during your loss

he's not much better...

"NOOOO I PULLED THE WORST ONE"

and because of that, this boy spends all of his allowance on gacha...

"Jiro, don't tell me you actually bought a gacha pass..."

"I SPENT ALL OF MY GEMS TRYING TO GET THEM SO I HAD TO!"

"JIRO!!!"

"Y/N PLEASE, I NEEDED THEM!!" (╥_╥)

Bonus+

"Here Jiro I got you this." He excitedly opens the package. "No way! A ___ Figure??!" "They're your favorite right?" "YESS" He sets the figure down and bear hugs you. "Thank you y/n, I'll treasure this forever!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saburo Yamada

Saburo picked up anime from his brothers

they would all watch action animes together as kids

until Saburo started a fight with Jiro and they tried to one punch each other out of existence

"HEY GUYS CUT IT OUT YOU'RE NOT FRIKKIN SAITAMA"

ahem. moving on...

Saburo is a nerd too

but he may be a bit more casual (in his own way)

he spotted you playing a rhythm game in the corner of the hall during lunch break

"Is that _____? I play ______"

"Oh really? Whos your favorite?"

"What? you like them?!? You have no taste..."

"W-what?! Shut up! their cards always have good stats!"

"But look how pretty this one is!"

you two quickly become friends and meet up every lunch and discuss things like your methods to preserve gems

Saburo likes making charts and spreadsheets to predict what event will be next and what characters are featured

"Haha! look y/n I totally called it!"

He likes collecting cards and comparing the stats

cause that's fun too I guess :/

He must assemble the best possible unit

I can see you two having competitions to see who can get the best score

or who can rank higher in an event

Saburo is very good at analyzing the beat map at first glance

he will also point out patterns he sees to try and help you understand the rhythms

he usually plays on hard and pro

while you do pretty well on normal or hard

he likes a good action/fantasy anime

but he likes sci-fi too

maybe even mystery

he was nervous asking you over to his place to watch anime

because you suggested a slice of life rom-com

does this mean he makes a move or you just watch it together and that's it O_o

Bonus+

"Yes! New high score! Y/n, did you see that?" You giggle. Good job Saburo. You lean over to kiss his cheek then see the smoke coming out of his ears. "Y-y/n!" *blush blush* "Hehe, you're so cute when you're nerding out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Samatoki Aohitsugi

Rio invited Samatoki out to a neat cafe because they offered cool exotic blends

When they walked in Samatoki was intrigued spotting your crazy colored hair and tattoos from the corner of his eye

which was weird cause that's not his type

or maybe it was

After ordering the coffee and sitting down Rio noticed that he was distracted

"I see you staring, why don't you go over and talk to her?"

"I wasn't staring! But there's just something about her..."

you were sitting in the corner of the cafe reading manga when he approached you a few minutes later

"uh hey, I like your tattoos"

"Oh thanks! Do you watch___ too?"

*casual panic* "Oh yeah totally, what are you reading?"

You knew he was faking it but continued anyway

"Eh, what's the difference?" 😮 "The difference is--"

He didn't know much about what you were saying but he loved watching you talk about something you were obviously passionate for

through an hour or so of conversation, you realized you both had more in common than you thought

he asked if you would like to do something like this again and gave you his number

You were happy to explain plots of random animes and games to him

Samatoki may not get the appeal but he likes seeing you happy

You go on a few dates and make your relationship official

he's absolutely fascinated by you and your nerdiness

"BABE!!!" "What is it?! Are you ok!?" "I JUST GOT A SSR CARD OF (insert favorite character here)"

Tch, *rolls his eyes. "That's good, right?" "LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!"

he may get a little jealous watching you fawn over you your fav

"Hmmph, why would you want a fictional character when you have a real man right here?"

*author sobs* :")

you let him try a song on normal difficulty

but it is still hard for him

"What the hell! Why are these notes coming at me so fast?!"

He doesn't pick up any manga or light novels

but he likes watching anime with you though

preferably a good action and or adventure one

he may become more interested when the female lead shows up on screen

hey, eyes up here buddy >:(

he won't say it but he secretly likes romcoms

maybe cause Nemu used to watch them growing up

I can see him getting so invested he'll yell at the characters

"Are you stupid?? She's trying to confess to you! Moron..." he huffs

(he does this with cooking shows too)

Bonus+

"Samatoki come on! The next episode of ___ is airing! You rush into the bedroom. "Hey, have you seen my pho-" "Shut up, I'm trying- to win." You laugh hysterically at him stealing your phone to get a full combo. "You got this babe, I believe in you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading!

[ptergwen]

the best gifts are unexpected

w/c: 1.6k

summary: you sort of end up with two secret santa’s this year

a/n: this is another random idea i had that i actually really love? plus it’s a christmas one and christmas is this week which is insane wow :/ happy reading y’all

━━━ ☆彡*. ｡

“ok, who wants to go first?” betty asks the group and shakes her present around.

everyone agreed to do secret santa at your mini christmas party. it was ned’s idea, which is why you’re all in a circle on his living room carpet with mystery boxes in front of you. you picked names out of a beanie mj was wearing so it would be fair. all you know is that you’re peter’s secret santa. the rest surprisingly stayed secret.

it’s a surprise because some people in the group are terrible at keeping things to themselves.

flash holds his gift bag up in the air before anyone else can answer. “me!” he quickly pulls the wrapped box out and starts ripping the paper off. betty watches on with a proud smile. she tries to cover her mouth, but you already saw. that crosses one pairing off the list. flash gasps when he sees what it is.

she got him a spider-man pop figure. it’s one of his newest suits, too. peter will definitely be blushing if you look over at him right now.

“this is so sick! he’s gonna go under my pillow.” flash grins and taps the clear spot that shows him. “why, so you can say you slept with spider-man?” mj snorts at her own joke. she’s next to you, so you elbow her side. she winces and shoots you a glare. peter smiles to himself.

“no, so he can keep me safe at night,” flash says a little too seriously. the circle goes quiet for long enough to be awkward. he puts the box behind him with an eye roll. “whatever. who had me?” betty raises her hand, beaming at her success. flash nods. “nice. thanks.” “you’re very welcome,” she says in a sing song voice.

you can feel someone’s eyes on you. you turn your head, and it happens to be peter’s. he shifts his attention back to ned the second you make eye contact. that’s odd. then again, peter is always odd.

next is ned since you’re going in order. he’s excited to open up the cardboard box until he realizes there’s nothing in it. his face scrunches in confusion. he ends up picks something up and squinting at it.

“it’s a... piece of paper?” he eyes everyone suspiciously. “turn it over, buddy,” mj says under her breath. ned hears her and does. grinning, he holds the paper to his heart. “no way! this is, like, all i ever need!” “what is it?” you furrow your eyebrows with a small smile.

“a subscription to disney plus!” you direct your smile to mj. you’re impressed. she shrugs and pulls a knee up to her chest. “dude, they have so much star wars stuff on there,” peter chimes in. ned gives his best friend a knowing look. “can you sleep over?” “nerds,” mj mumbles to you. “let them have their moment,” you defend.

betty goes after ned. she’s probably the happiest of all of you to open her gift. she texted everyone her wishlist at least three times, so it has to be something good. based on the way she squeals, it is. it’s this new eyeshadow palette from sephora she’s been wanting.

“oh my god, shut up! i love it!” she carefully puts it down and bounces up on her knees. “whoever got me this, i have to give you a hug.” peter is the one who opens up his arms. she scoots over to him on her knees, practically tackling him. he chuckles and hugs her back. “thank you so much, peter!” “of course.”

you try to laugh along with everyone else, but something stops you. it’s a green monster, and not the grinch. you’re jealous. mj just has to pick up on it. she pats your back, a smirk pulling at her lips. “relax, mrs. parker. it’s nothing.” scowling, you scoot away from her. “don’t call me that.”

“your turn, y/n,” betty chirps, sitting back down next to you. you unenthusiastically sit your heavy present in your lap. everyone watches you slowly peel the wrapping paper off, mj fake yawning. “take your time,” flash comments. “guys, come on,” peter says for you.

you perk up when your gift is finally open. you’d always thought it would be cool to have a record player. no one ever got you one before because you “didn’t need it.” apparently, the music sounds the same as it would in your earbuds. you can actually find out if that’s true now.

plus, you have something else to do during break. lots of record shopping.

“wait, seriously?” you pout at the group and set the record player down in front of you. “i’ve wanted one of these for so long. thank you.” “i got you.” ned smiles and reaches over betty to give you a fist bump. mj goes next.

she gets a book that goes inside the criminal mind from flash. he says his search history probably got him on a few watchlists.

peter is last to open his present from you. you’ve been anxious for him to open it since you added it to your cart. anxious in a good way because you’re positive he’ll like it. he’ll hopefully like you also.

he already knows you’re his secret santa since the rest of the group went. mj scoots back so you can see him while he opens it. you catch a wink from her. peter grins at the bow you put on it and sticks it on his shirt for now. you watch his whole face light up as he finishes unwrapping it.

he’s kind of amazing at photography. he takes it as an elective and practices whenever he has time. you’ve even done little photoshoots on his phone for fun. midtown lets him use a camera with pretty good quality and all the important functions. but, peter’s style is more vintage.

that’s why you got him a polaroid camera. some film for it, too.

“woah, y/n.” peter looks from the box to you. “this is so awesome. it’s a lot cooler than anything i have,” he breathes out a laugh, licking his lips. “i think it’s... my favorite present.” “ever?” you laugh. “ever,” he confirms, reaching for your hand. your heart is thumping in your ears. he squeezes your hand in his. it earns an “aw” from ned and betty in unison.

“thank you isn’t even enough. you have no idea,” peter says for only you to hear. you squeeze his hand back with a small smile. “yes it is. take some good pictures for me.” “i will,” he agrees after a few seconds. something is on his mind. mj moves up again before you can ask what it is, which also makes you drop his hand.

“dessert time,” she announces and rubs her hands together. she’s oblivious to the look of disappointment on your face. flash points at her. “someone get those sugar cookies.” “i’ll go,” ned volunteers, about to stand. peter shoots up from his spot instead. “no, i can do it. you pick a movie to watch later.”

he nudges your shoulder. “y/n, could you help me?” ned makes a face at him. “you know, we need plates and everything,” peter quickly covers up. it’s a good enough explanation for him to focus on logging into disney plus. you take the hint and get to your feet. “yeah, let’s go.”

you follow peter into the kitchen, everyone else giving ned movie suggestions. peter checks behind him to make sure no one is looking. he relaxes after that and leans back against the counter. you stand next to him, closer than usual. he’s not mad about that.

“i feel like we’ve barely talked all night,” peter murmurs and stares down at his feet. you press your lips together. “that’s cuz we haven’t.” “let’s fix that.” he taps your foot with his playfully, getting a laugh out of you. “hey.” “hi,” you say back. “thanks again for the camera. i can’t wait to set it up.” the smile is clear in his voice.

“i’m really happy you like it. i thought you would,” you admit, leaning into him slightly. he welcomes it. “i, uh, actually got a little something for you,” he starts and reaches behind him. your heart is beating out of control again. so is his, but you don’t know that. “aw, peter. you did?”

“it’s... it’s kinda stupid. i’m not sure you even want it-“ “i’ll take anything if it’s from you,” you cut off the rambling he’s about to do. he nods and pulls whatever it is out of his pocket. it goes from behind his back to over your heads. you look up and see mistletoe.

peter moves so he’s in front of you. his face is only inches from yours now, your eyes landing on his lips. he takes the same hand he was holding earlier, lacing your fingers together. “can i kiss you?” he checks, his voice soft. you wind an arm around his neck. “please.”

he presses his lips to yours so lightly, your eyes fluttering shut. it’s so sweet and so long overdue. you tug him closer so the kiss deepens. leaning his head forward, he drops the mistletoe and wraps his other arm around your waist. you’re back against the counter with him hovering over you.

your lips move easily against each other’s like it’s natural for you.

“peter and y/n, what’s taking so-“ mj turns her head and sees you two kissing. “oh, okay!” she cheers, betty glancing curiously. “get it, y/n!” ned and flash join in next. they all holler at you while you kiss. it becomes too funny, and you have to pull away so you can both laugh.

giggling, you bring one of your hands down to the bow peter left on his shirt. you pull on it. “i think you’re my favorite present.” “ever?” he repeats what you said earlier and nudges your nose. his lips brush yours in the process. “ever.”

[whatifxwereyou]

Ashes Chapter 15: Same Old Story

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021

Pairing: Liu Kang x Reader

Summary: Some history for Y/N and some brotherly love from Cole.

A/N: when you so busy writing smut that you forget to update the story so you can get to the smut lmao. enjoy, fellow nerds.

First Chapter << Previous Chapter Next Chapter >> Chapter Index

You were uncomfortable talking about personal things, particularly your history, but Cole deserved answers and he was a patient listener. Being a father, you weren’t really surprised by that. “When I was a kid, like… nine I want to say? Honestly my childhood is pretty blurry. Feels like another life.” You cleared your throat. “Anyway, yeah, around then I fell ill. I had these… fits, for lack of a better word. I didn’t understand what they meant at the time because I was well, nine. No one else understood them either. As an adult I know that I was experiencing prophetic visions. Honestly, they weren’t really prophetic then, I guess. That’s a word Raiden uses a lot for them. Back then they were rarely of future events. It was more like gaining deep insight into the lives of others. I could touch someone or something that someone else had touched and I would disappear. I’d see a glimpse of their history or their present. I was too young to interpret it.”

“Like touch telepathy? I’ve seen television shows about that concept. This stuff is hard for me to wrap my mind around. Too much like fiction.”

“I suppose that’s a good thing to call it. When I saw things, I would also black out. And have a fit. Like a seizure, I suppose. And when that was happening, I would often say things about what I was seeing or hurt myself. It frightened people. My parents took me out of town and I stayed with my grandmother. I was homeschooled after that. My parents saw it as an embarrassment if I recall.” You laughed at the idea of that now. That life was so far behind you that it didn’t matter how stressful it had been. Back then it had felt like the end of the world but as an adult, it was a distant memory. Those experiences had made you different and strange but they had also made you unique and special. You had embraced the things that had separated you from normality since then.

“Well, that’s awful.”

“Oh, no, no pity. It’s fine, really. That was world’s ago.” You waved off his disapproval of a parent being embarrassed by their child for things they couldn’t control. Cole really was a good guy. “I stopped having the visions at around twelve and while I was weak from being so sick, I fought to be normal afterward. My dad ran a dojo and so I grew strong again. I focused on martial arts. It was something that helped me find strength and determination back then.” You smiled at the memory. You’d always had a fondness for it in your heart. That was one of the first things you and Kung Lao had bonded over. Your father had taught Wing Chun and that was what Kung Lao specialized in. “With time my father could no longer teach at the dojo so he moved in with my older sister. I took over the dojo and then opened a shop in the old storage space to make extra money. I had every intention of moving away. I would never be more than a weirdo or a witch there. It was too small a town.”

“Did you ever get to?”

“I mean, I’m here now. That’s a long story though. I’m trying to keep this brief.” You chuckled. “We can talk about that stuff another day.” That was a more casual and personal conversation. This was personal but definitely not casual. If you didn’t have to share these parts of your life then you never would have. Much of it was still too raw. But Cole Young was curious about your past and you were curious about his. It was nice having another friend who wasn’t Liu Kang. You really did get along with him and his family.

“Fair enough.”

“About five years ago I was still doing the same. There had been a robbery across the street and the thugs came into my shop afterward. And, well, I’m not the type to roll over and be robbed.”

“I’d say not.”

“It escalated. There was a man who came in to pick up herbs I had imported for him every month who came in after. He ended up helping me out. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, I killed one of those would-be robbers. He’d been trying to kill me so… I have come to terms with that. That’s how I got the dragon mark.” You pointed to your back. Yours was on your lower back on your left side. “The man who helped me was Liu Kang. I knew him then and he was kind enough to help me deal with the fallout at the time. It took ages for him to convince me to that there was any truth to any of this… Mortal Kombat and arcana nonsense. It’s kind of embarrassing looking back at it.” And the story was far more complicated too. You’d been attracted to Liu Kang from very early on. “I guess that’s why I’m so patient with Johnny. It’s easy for us to know what’s the truth but when you spend your whole life believing that fairytales are made with computers and science? It’s difficult to believe anything else.”

“Yeah, I get that. Not everyone had Sub Zero rushing them into the truth.” He joked. That was true enough. But Johnny Cage had had his come-to-jesus moment that afternoon you were pretty sure. You hadn’t had a moment like that in the beginning. Just Liu Kang’s word and his arcana.

“Liu showed me his arcana but I thought it was a trick. He was very persistent at the time. Tried to talk me into leaving everything I had ever known for what I thought was a trick. I was scared, I’m not too proud to admit that. The part of me that wanted to leave home and never look back had grown smaller over the years. I’d become complacent. I’d grown comfortable being known as a witch and honestly, the next generation of people in town hadn’t treated me so terribly. The kids even thought it was funny that everyone thought I was a witch. But then… I found my arcana.”

“The ink?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty and under control now but in the beginning, it was a nightmare. The first time I used it had been on accident. I nearly destroyed my store. Then I fell and had a fit and I was suddenly seeing things again. Those things I saw didn’t make any sense. None of it. I saw flashes of people and places I didn’t recognize. The best way that I can describe it is… nonsense. It didn’t mean anything.” You sighed heavily. Those moments had been terrifying. “The second time had been even worse. If Liu hadn’t been basically stalking me then someone would have gotten seriously hurt. I’d hurt him but he’d been tough enough to handle it. I felt terrible about it. By then I’d more than grown fond of him.” You didn’t want to get into the details but it hadn’t exactly been difficult to fall into Liu Kang’s arms and it hadn’t taken very long either.

“There’s a lot of history there, huh?”

“Yes. Focus.” You wanted to get this story over as quickly as you could. “After that I decided to go with him. It wasn’t worth the risk of hurting people in town with something I didn’t understand. I didn’t want to leave but I was glad that I did afterward. Raiden’s Temple was where I had needed to be for what came next. It was awful at first. The ink and the visions made me sick. I had little to no control over any of it. Raiden helped me. He could unravel what I saw even if it was just spaghetti to me. My visions helped him. At least he said that they did. Liu helped me get control over my arcana. There I met Kung Lao and I was happy. About a year later the visions stopped altogether and I was stronger than I’d ever been.”

“And now you’re having them again? Out of nowhere?” Cole didn’t sound terribly concerned. He had handled all of this very well. It was nice not to be taken too seriously or looked at like you were about to fracture. You didn’t think the visions were out of nowhere. In fact, you thought that the visions were likely triggered by Kung Lao’s death. Trauma did funny things to people. The things that happened to you were a little funnier than most.

“I confess that I didn’t realize I was having them at first.” You shrugged. It was difficult to explain but it seemed as though, at some point, Cole had abandoned his disbelief and had embraced chaos. “They were more like nightmares. It was difficult to decipher what was guilt and grief and what wasn’t. It wasn’t until the other night on the roof that I even considered they were visions. Well, that and I feel terrible. I haven’t felt this terrible since the last time I had them.” You were a little embarrassed to admit that. If you’d been honest about what you were feeling from the beginning then maybe you could have done things differently. You just hated being weak. It was a hot button for you.

“And that was when you saw what happened this afternoon?”

“Kind of? I saw the beach and a wave of corpses coming for us. Does that count?” You tried to joke. Cole tilted his head as if to consider if it counted or not.

“It does at least explain why you were extra creepy this morning.”

“Implying that I’m always a little creepy.”

“The ink is a little creepy, I decided.”

“I guess that’s fair.”

“But you’re okay? This morning was wild.”

Did you not seem okay? You supposed that you were feeling out of it after seeing Kung Lao’s death. You definitely weren’t feeling yourself but you thought that you’d hidden it pretty well. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sound a little morose.” Cole looked to the door like he had somewhere else to be. He probably did. He had a family and all that. “I can’t say we know each other very well but whatever happened back there must have hit hard… and I mean… you were so different at the end of it.”

“I’m fine, Cole.” You reassured him with a forced smile. You were a little morose. That was a good word for what you were feeling. You wanted to sleep for the rest of the week until you had to go back to China.

“Ally, Emily, and I are going to go grab dinner. You’re welcome to join us. You could probably use some food.”

“No, no. Thank you but I think that I have encroached upon your family time enough this week.”

“We really don’t mind. You’re good company. Allison asked if you were joining us, even.”

“Really, Cole. I appreciate the offer but I’m not up to it. My social battery is completely drained.” You offered a weary smile. It was nice to be wanted. “I’m going to rest.”

“You’re just… so off. I feel bad leaving you alone.” Cole pulled his phone from his coat pocket. “I’m considering asking if Ally wants to grab food and then bring Emily here to watch a movie with you.”

“It’s okay, Cole. I need the time alone, I think. Besides, I’m allowed to be a little under the weather after that.” You smiled even so. You didn’t want him to pity you. You didn’t need that. You really would be okay. That morning had been difficult but you weren’t prepared to say the real reasons why. You were a mixture of angry and hurt but you’d trudge through it.

“Yeah…”

“Hey, look, you don’t need to feel responsible for me just because of what happened with Kung Lao.” You would happily absolve him of any guilt he felt in that regards. He was guilty of nothing but being a good man.

“What?” Cole was genuinely surprised and you internally winced at how you’d miscalculated. You’d read the whole situation wrong and instantly regretted your words.

“I thought you might be feeling some misplaced guilt about it. I don’t want that for you.”

“Oh. Maybe that was why I approached you on the street that day but I think we’re past that. We’re friends now. Am I wrong about that?”

“Not at all. It’s been lovely getting to know you and your family. I really mean that, I’m not just saying it. You’ve managed to get me a little out of my head which is nice. And you like my jokes which I appreciate. I’m sorry about the way that came off. I wasn’t trying to diminish our friendship. I just didn’t want you to carry around that guilt, either.”

“That goes for you too.”

“It’s been a hard day. I’m not coming across the way that I mean to. Let’s say lost in translation.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. Your English is pretty good so I’m not sure that excuse works, but I’ll let it slide.”

“I know, I know… I’m being cold without meaning to. Like you said, I’m a little morose right now. I do this thing when my feelings are difficult to process where I kind of shut off and… I can come off as cruel without meaning to. Honestly, even in Chinese it doesn’t sound much better.” You couldn’t help but laugh at yourself. “I’m sorry.”

“No need. Today was a reality check. It scared me too. And you’re clearly going through something. I wanted to help, is all. Sometimes when I get too far into my head things snowball and become an avalanche.”

“I appreciate that.” You kicked your shoes off next to the bed and laughed. You had no plans of going anywhere else for the rest of the day. “I used to have Kung Lao to keep that from happening. I appreciate you trying to help but you can go get food with your family and enjoy your afternoon. I’m exhausted. I’ll probably nap or meditate on what happened today.” What you really meant was that you would do whatever it took to get it out of your head. You were going to try and forget the awful things you’d seen today. You weren’t sure you could forget it. His death was burned into your mind’s eye. It would haunt you for the rest of your life.

“I will but before I go, I wanted to talk to you quickly about Liu.”

“I would very much prefer if you didn’t.” You scrunched up your face in distaste.

“I know that I’ve been teasing you about it.” He laughed and you rolled your eyes. “But is everything okay with that? I know, I know… it’s not my business, you’ve said it a dozen times now. It’s clearly complicated. You don’t owe me any details but if you need help with it then say the word. I’m happy to help.” Was Cole Young offering to be your wingman? Or was he offering to beat up Liu Kang? Either scenario was kind of hilarious.

“I’m obviously defensive about it. I’m sure that it’s hilarious from the outside looking in but Liu and I have more history than I care to explain. I’m not ready to get into it with anyone. Not you and definitely not with Liu, either.”

“But that’s okay?”

“Yeah, it will be. I’m a pretty tough lady.”

“On a scale of one to ten just how supportive do you need me to be?”

“No scale. Just be yourself, Cole. You’re doing fine.”

“Even teasing you?”

“I’ve had worse teasing, trust me. I dated Kung Lao for years. Besides, it kind of lessens the frustration of it. Sometimes I get too serious and scary in my head. The joking grounds me a little.”

“Good to know.” Cole patted you on the back. It was nice having a friend to talk to. A friend that wasn’t Liu Kang. Not that you didn’t enjoy Liu Kang, things were just too complex between you right now. There was so much hurt and grief that you weren’t sure how things would pan out or if they would ever be fixable. And Cole was a good man. You enjoyed talking to Allison too and Emily had taken a shine to you. You hadn’t had the opportunity to be around kids in years and you were good with them at most ages. That was part of why you’d enjoyed running the dojo.

There was a knock at your door. You made to get up to answer it.

“I’ll get it. I’m on my way out anyway.” Cole stood and so you sat back down. You wouldn’t argue with him. Cole opened the door and there was Liu Kang, which was no surprise to you. You’d been expecting him to show up at some point. Who else would it have been, anyway? You were pretty sure that you’d rubbed Sonya and Jax the wrong way with all your talk of kidnapping. Cole stared Liu Kang down instead of greeting him and you tried not to laugh.

“Hello Cole.” Liu bowed his head politely in greeting. “I was hoping that I could speak with Y/N for a few minutes. Is she here? Did I come to the wrong room?” Liu peered around him and made eye contact with you. You offered him a curt wave.

“That’s up to her.”

You tried very hard not to laugh at the look of confusion on Liu’s face. He was bewildered.

“Of course it is.”

“You can come in, Liu.” You stopped that conversation before it got any weirder. Cole meant well, but wow.

“I was just leaving.” Cole clasped Liu on the shoulder as if to wish him good luck and then left, closing the door behind him after Liu had stepped past him. Liu watched the door close and then turned back to you. His expression was priceless. You’d have to thank Cole for that later.

Next Chapter >>

[beware-of-you-98]

The BAU Watches Twilight

Contrary to popular belief, Jennifer Jareau is not a Twilight stan

She’s just very well aware of current popular culture, okay?

Besides, she only saw the first two movies (and stopped there because New Moon was a total bore and she didn’t want to waste any more time)

(What can she say, the vampire parents were the beginning of her bisexual awakening)

It’s not even JJ that suggests that the team watch the films

It’s Penelope because she’s not going to live her life knowing those books and films exist while Spencer Reid can just prance by in life without being tormented with them too

(And because she is not going to sit by and let baby boy genius live another moment without knowing the most iconic baseball scene in the history of cinema)

Spencer is genuinely curious about the films and what makes them so appealing

Penelope has to bribe Derek and Hotch to watch the movies

(Hotch absolutely caves at her puppy dog eyes)

(Derek gets blackmailed)

Emily refuses at first

JJ already made her sit through one of these awful movies (she stopped watching New Moon after like twenty minutes) so why should she sit through five?

But then JJ gives her the puppy dog face and then whispers something in her ear

Emily immediately agrees afterwards

(Everyone else chooses to ignore the playful gleam in her eyes—they don’t need to know what was promised)

Rossi down right refuses spending what little free time he has watching a cheesy movie series meant for teenagers

But Emily is like “If I’m stuck watching these movies, so are you old man”

They play a round of rock paper scissors to determine what he does

(He loses miserably and has to stay and watch the stupid movies)

(He only caves because Emily brings in some of her most expensive alcohol—she’s so not watching these movies sober)

It’s established early on by Penelope just how problematic and racist the series is at times to prepare everyone before starting the films

Anyway

When the Cullens and Hales are first on screen, Spencer takes one look at Rosalie, turns to Emily and goes “Hey look it’s your type: a hot blonde”

Emily’s quick to point out Emmett and shoot back “Look, it’s your type: a buff himbo”

(Derek’s too impressed with the speed of her comeback that all he can do is laugh instead of being insulted)

He actually likes Emmett—he’s riding standing up in the back of a Jeep, he’s a certified badass in his book

So how can he be offended?

He thinks the baseball scene is the coolest fucking thing

(He totally tries to do the bat thing Jasper does later on at home and breaks his coffee table because he couldn’t catch the bat)

(Hotch has to tell his children [ahem, Emily and Spencer] to behave or he’ll send the moody one after them—he doesn’t care about their names, just their mannerisms)

“What moody one?”

“The one that looks constipated.”

“...The main one?”

“NO! The...scary looking blonde one!”

Emily and Spencer are quiet after that

Until Carlisle comes on screen, then Emily is poking JJ’s side and teasing her like “oooh it’s your boyfriend”

JJ, completely unfazed, just shrugs and goes “the mom’s way hotter anyway”

Emily’s just like “huh, fair point”

(Everyone’s sure they heard Penelope mutter “milf rights” but no one comments on it)

(Besides, let’s be honest, she’s right)

Penelope’s 100% convinced Anna Kendrick just wondered onto the set of the film and just reacted in real time to what was going on

No script, no rehersal, she just was like “oh yeah those weird looking kids lmao here’s the tea—“

Penelope really only watches the film to hear I Caught Myself by Paramore playing in the dress shop

(Before the film, she totally makes everyone watch the music video for Decode too)

The soundtrack for Twilight is unparalleled and she will not stand for it to go unappreciated by her teammates, god dammit!!

Holy shit Spencer is ready to rage about how awful the portrayal of vampires are in the films

“HOW can they live off the blood of animals, huh!?”

“Spence, I don’t know I didn’t write the books—“

“NO, TELL ME HOW THAT MAKES ANY DAMN SENSE, JENNIFER, BECAUSE IT DOESN’T!”

He stands up and throws his hands up in the air out of pure frustration when Edward reveals himself in the sun

“ThIs Is ThE sKiN oF a KiLlEr, BeLlA” SHUT UP EDWARD, YOU GLITTERING SACK OF SHIT!”

“OH AND NOW VAMPIRES ARE VENOMOUS!! BECAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE!!!”

Spencer is so mad it’s funny lmao

Hotch doesn’t even reprimand him or tell him to chill out either

He’ll let the boy rage all he wants

You know that thing Rossi does when Spencer goes off on one of his nerd tangents??

He places a hand on his chin and his eyes just glaze over like “why did I come back here?”

Yeah, that’s his entire reaction to the film

He’s like “how the fuck did someone write four books about these people, let alone make five films”

He wants to personally shake the actors’ hands and commemorate them for putting up with this garbage series for multiple years

He nearly cheers when the first movie is over

Only to start crying when Penelope pulls out New Moon

to be continued...

[goddessofmischief]

Blue Monday, Chapter Five

Chapter Five

“Lady Loki?” you muttered to your partner. “Do you know about this?” “Believe me, no. I’ve had some... adventures, in the past, but no, I was not aware that a version of myself existed in a permanent female body. It’s not that shocking, either-” But he quieted, right away, because she had staggered out.

She.

You had to admit it - Loki made one hell of a woman. Her hair was dark, her neck long, her skin moon white and pallid. And she was tall.

Really, really tall.

“Amora?” she gasped, her voice strangled and disbelieving. “Amora...” “Oh, stars,” the Loki beside you muttered. “This should be entertaining.”

“I knew you couldn’t be gone,” the woman said. She threw her weapon down, rushing to you, and almost crushing you in a passionate embrace. “Oh, I knew it- Amora, it’s been so long-” “Will you tell her,” asked your Loki, “Or shall I? Who you really are, that you’re not her at all-” Shushing him, you untangle yourself from her arms.

“It’s true,” you said, quietly, and looking into her blue eyes, you almost wished that you could be Amora, if only for a moment, if only to make her happy. “I’m... not.” For the first time, Lady Loki seemed to notice the male Loki at your side.

“Something’s going on here,” she spoke, ominously, picking her weapon up again. “And I don’t like it.”

You gulped.

“It’s kind of hard to explain,” you said. “But... I can try.” ...

She didn’t understand.

It was difficult to fault her for this, of course - it seemed that the alternate universe you and Loki had slipped into was the worst one yet. She told you that Amora, Thor, Odin, and all the others were dead.

She was the only one left.

So she’d come down to Midgard to rule. Without the Avengers, this plan had worked out spectacularly well. And none of the mortals seemed to mind, either, except for the one town you and Loki had been to, who still clung to to the old ways, the old gods.

The town that had previously possessed the tesseract, before she and her soldiers had stolen it.

You were still trying to figure out how you were going to get your way out of this one. Meanwhile, your Loki seemed to almost revel in his counterpart’s disappointment.

“So... that’s it,” you said, awkwardly, glancing up at her.

“Extraordinary,” said Lady Loki, not truly making eye contact with you. “She looks as mine did. Down to the last...” she wound a lock of your hair around her finger. “Curl.”

Loki looked dangerously irritated by this, almost... possessive?

No. This was too much for you to comprehend right now. Having one Loki to contend with was quite enough for a human - you couldn’t even begin to think of the all-out war that could occur if both were to fight over you.

You couldn’t hate the idea, either.

“Yes, well,” he said, briskly, and you noticed that a knife had suddenly appeared in his right palm. “Anyway, we’re partners, and we’re here for a mission.” “Really?” you muttered, unable to help yourself from being sarcastic. “Now we’re partners?”

He ignored you.

“Very well,” said female Loki, settling into a throne. “I’ll do what I can to help you.”

“Good,” your Loki briskly stated. “Give us the tesseract.”

She regarded you.

“That is... impossible.”

“How so?” “Well, I need it. If I am to maintain control of Earth.”

“But you have to give it back to the town,” you said softly, your eyes sad and pleading. “If you don’t, it’ll... destroy everything.” “She’s right, I’m afraid,” male Loki said. “It’ll change the course of history.” “Perhaps I want it changed. Have you considered that? Perhaps I desire to possess the one tool that would allow me to finally have everything I want. If I have the tesseract...” she looked at you. “If I have the tesseract, I can live in a kingdom where no one ever dies.”

You swallowed.

“Please,” you said, sinking to the snow-covered ground and kneeling in front of Lady Loki. “Please, you can’t-”

Your Loki, who already like he was about to kill someone, seemed to think this act was a breaking point.

“Enough of this,” he interrupted, tugging you back on your feet. “Get up. You look ridiculous.” “She’s a queen!” you protested, eyes wide, wrenching your wrist from his grasp. “I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

“That’s funny, I’ve been alive for a thousand years. No one ever did it for me.”

He looked to Lady Loki. “What is it that you want?” “What makes you think I’ll want something?” “Because you’re me. I assure you, I know when I want something.”

Female Loki scowled.

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll offer you a deal, if the cube is so very consequential. The tesseract... in trade for her.” At this, Loki had the good sense to look panicked.

“No. Absolutely not.” “Why not? It’s the only fair deal that makes sense. I won’t need the tesseract to travel to different multiverses if I have her. You can have the tesseract, and go about your mission. I don’t really need power, Loki. I just want Amora.”

“She does not even know what she is.”

You looked between the two Lokis.

“There has to be another way to settle this,” you said, your voice small. “Come on, we can figure something out-” “There’s nothing to figure out,” your Loki insisted. “Come on. We’ll just have to disappoint Mobius. Not shocking - eventually, I would have done it anyway.”

“Loki, we can’t just go-” “Well, I can’t just lose you!” he shouted. “...Not again!”

...Oh.

Oh, God. Loki was losing it.

This had quickly become personal.

“Loki,” you said, quietly, standing in front of him and grabbing his arms, “Calm down. It’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here. Let’s just walk away, and... we can come back. We’ll figure this out, I promise-”

He shook you off. “No,” he said, removing a set of daggers. “No, this ends now.”

”Loki-”

“Move, or you’ll be hurt.”

You groaned, standing off to the side while the two Lokis squared off and loading your T.V.A.-issued gun.

“Hand over the tesseract,” he said, gesturing at the cube on her shelf. “Last chance.” “Amora,” she countered. “Last chance.”

Your Loki hissed, and they ran at each other. Truthfully, you could barely tell one for the other. Both had similar fighting styles - no, the exact same fighting style.

Neither could win without an edge.

You didn’t want to hurt female Loki. You knew she had the capacity to be good, same as yours did. She just needed that chance.

But she wasn’t giving you that chance. And if she were allowed to possess the tesseract, the power would consume her - and destroy the timeline. Besides, you knew she wanted you. How many timelines would she wreck in her search? How many Amoras would she seek to find?

Decisively, you raised your gun - before an unexpected thought made you falter. Loki was a god - so was Lady Loki. A gunshot wound, even from a technologically-advanced gun, would barely harm either of them.

And a different thought struck you. A different... much more dangerous thought.

Loki was a god.

But you weren’t.

Slowly, you raised the gun to your chin, trying to stay calm.

“Y/N?” you heard Loki shout, mid-stab.

Stabbing? It had escalated to stabbing, now?

Well. You really shouldn’t have been all that surprised.

“Amora,” female Loki uttered, stepping toward you. “Amora, whatever you’re thinking, don’t-”

“I have to!” you said, trying to make your voice panicked and convincing. “Otherwise... you’ll kill each other. And it’ll be my fault.”

“Amora,” she whispered. She raised her hands to cup your face, “Don’t..”

The panicked expression hadn’t entirely faded from your Loki’s features, but you knew he had caught on, slightly. Unlike Lady Loki, he knew who you were, he comprehended it. You weren’t a weakness to him like you were to her.

She couldn’t know it. If she had to admit to herself that the Amora she had known and loved no longer existed, it would destroy her.

That is why she had to die.

“Give me the gun-”

“No!”

“Amora, we can fix this. I love you.”

Loki began to creep up behind her.

“Don’t say that,” you cried, tears streaming down your cheeks. The act was over. You reached up to clutch the hands that still embraced you. “Please, don’t say that-”

“I do, I love you, you can’t die-”

“But you can,” said Loki, plunging a magically-charged knife into her back.

She collapsed to the ground, and you fell down with her, cradling her in your arms.

“Loki,” you whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

Lady Loki shuddered, her chest contracting and her breathing labored. She reached up, one more time, and ran her hand through your hair.

“Amora,” she choked out, and then she was gone.

You let her fall from your arms. As you did, she slowly faded, disappearing into a golden mist.

“Come on,” said your Loki, gently, helping you up. “It’s time to go.”

“You got the tesseract?” you asked, drying your eyes with your sleeves.

“Yes.”

You nodded.

“Okay.”

...

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