#to be clear this is about a topic I love and enjoy very much

[askoverkill]

ooc: ah i see, i never considered discord. still, youre never going to please everyone, and while getting critisism can be helpful to improving your work, the kind of comments that would make people leave discord servers sounds very harsh. i havent seen the comments myself so i cant guess at what theyre upset about. personally ive had gripes about how the story was going that was then solved by just waiting to see what would happen next, and pretty much always enjoying it. youre putting a lot of effort into something youre doing only for love and feedback, not money, so my personal opinion is if people come to you with criticism, hear it out, but otherwise don't sweat it. its up to you but ive seen too many artists bend over backwards for people who dont even like the art and just want to complain. maybe other people will have some genuine gripes worth hearing out but personally i think youre doing all you can do 👍

// yeeeeeeep. i think we're on the exact same page anon, i'm doing my best to not think too hard about it. i've put up the open call for critique, and that's as much as i can do.

// i know this story is going to get a lot of reactions from people because, well, yeah, i'm tackling some very heavy topics and they require care and time to address. i am human and AM going to fumble, so i want to make it as clear as possible i'm open to fixing things if i can. thats the best i can do, and if thats not enough then... okay? cool? i'll do my own thing and others can do their own. nobody has given me hate directly, so there's not really an issue.

// but uh... i do want this to be the last post unless a critique comes. i think its clear this is stressful and even positive feedback rn is just making me dwell on it more so i'd like no more messages about this unless its important.

[itadooori]

my slightly cohesive squid game s3 thoughts (SPOILERS)

obligatory disclaimer that i am NOT trying to tell anyone that they're stupid or illiterate if they don't agree with this. you're more than entitled to your own feelings about s3, these just happen to be mine. i'm not looking to fight with anyone, i just thought i'd share some things that may help someone come to peace with season three a little more. buckle up folks this is a YAPFEST

To preface this, I want to say that whenever I interact with a series and it makes a decision I don't like and/or don't understand, I try my hardest to figure out why it's there. This is essentially what this post is: me figuring out why the things that happened in squid game s3 happened. Some of the things still bother me despite the reasons I've seen, and some things I've made a bit of peace with.

Over the weekend I've been formulating my thoughts about s3 and the finale. I also read some interviews explaining certain choices, as well as posts from people who liked the ending/the season and people who disliked the ending/the season. I wanted to give myself a bit of time to post about this with a clearer head, and also wanted to try to understand the message HDH was trying to send.

I've given myself some time to process Gi-hun's death, and I think I'm actually okay with it? I've always kept his death as a real possibility in mind, so the fact he died didn't shock me, but did devastate me as he is my favorite character. I honestly loved the journey that Gi-hun's character went through this season as a whole, it was so full of grief and despair and was extremely heart-wrenching.

Some posts that helped ease my mind a bit about Gi-hun's choice (as well as some of the finale as a whole) are this and this.

(I also found this post to be interesting and it opened my mind up to some deeper thinking, so I'd give it a look if you're interested!)

Now. I want to admit: I am not as unhappy with the ending as much as I initially was. After reading some of HDH's words and other peoples' analysis on the ending, I'm starting to understand the angle it's going for, and I do appreciate it.

Obviously, my critiques haven't vanished -- I have my fair share of things I'm not happy about. I wish that In-ho had a bit more screen-time. I heavily dislike how Jun-ho's character was handled in s3. I also think that the pacing was off in places, notably in the latter half of the season. And of course, I do wish that the reveal scene had a bit More to it.

Also I just dislike the idea of an American spinoff so I was bound to dislike that last scene LMAO but that seems more like Netflix meddling than anything HDH wanted.

HOWEVER, there were also several things this season that did hit me very hard, and that I hold close to my heart. Many, many people have brought up (and rightfully criticized) the things I mentioned above, and I feel that elaborating on those points would be regurgitating what's already out there. So I'll spend some time talking about the things I DID enjoy in s3:

• IDK if this is a hot take or not, but I really loved the Dae-ho and Gi-hun stuff. It was so fucking dark and the furthest we've ever seen Gi-hun fall and I enjoyed every second of it. I don't think Gi-hun was simply mad at Dae-ho about the ammo; that was only part of it. Dae-ho I think on a narrative level served as Gi-hun's internal monologue towards himself, and I think this is backed up by the fact Seon-nyeo tells him that killing Dae-ho will clear his bad karma. And in that altered state of mind, induced by a psychotic break, he believed that. Obviously, when he killed Dae-ho that caused some sort of Realization, which is why he switches from "it's your fault" to "it's my fault" as he attempts suicide again. Also, on the topic of Dae-ho, if you're upset about the military reveal, I'd recommend reading this post because Netflix fucked up the subtitles and I think the more accurate translation falls more in line with his character.

• As a trans person, I honestly liked how Hyun-ju's death was handled. Her death did not strike me as uniquely gore-y or horrible, nor was it tied to her transness. It was tied to her core traits of kindness and commitment to other people. Her death, imo, continued to humanize her. I hope that her existence helped open up some peoples' minds.

• I loved the callbacks to Sae-byeok. First, the more subtle one of Gi-hun telling Geum-ja that he's "not that kind of person" just hit me like a TRAIN. I teared up. And then when Gi-hun had an outright flashback to Sae-byeok when he once again thought about killing someone in their sleep, I actually bawled.

• The entire Gi-hun/In-ho flashback sequence with the dagger. I have no notes. That was beautifully done and one of the best scenes in the entire season imo.

• MIN-SU'S ENTIRE JOURNEY IN S3 WAS REALLY COMPELLING TO ME?? I already really liked him before, but I was absolutely enamored by what they did with him. The hallucinations were genuinely terrifying, and him finally taking Se-mi's hand in death actually made me tear up. I love that lil guy. He straight up went thru every circle of hell.

• Geum-ja's speech to Gi-hun was very very touching. Both of these characters just went through the worst day Ever and yet she still shows him kindness and a reason to keep going. I love all the subtle expressions LJJ displays in this scene too.

• I liked that No-eul got a good ending. She deserved it. I'm glad that she gets to reunite with her daughter, a reflection of something Gi-hun didn't get to do.

• The tragedy between Geum-ja and Yong-sik....goddddddddd I wept.

• Seeing Gi-hun carrying around Jun-hee's baby was like cocomelon to me. The way he smiled at her had me sooo weak I love him so much.

• Woo-seok's little side plot was fun and I liked seeing him get some spotlight.

• Jun-ho not wanting to become a cop again LMFAO I loved that the story still sticks to its dislike of cops and the justice system.

• Of course, as always, the cast's acting was absolutely phenomenal. Even for scenes I don't like, the actors did the best that they could and I think they deserve recognition for that.

There are some more things I could list, but this post is getting long enough lmfaoo

Now, I believe that my feelings on season three are more complex than they were initially. I feel a little isolated from the majority of the fandom right now because while I have my issues, I don't Hate it. Far from it, honestly. It feels more like a "i enjoy many things about this, and i understand and appreciate the message being sent, i just wish that some of it was done Better" type thing.

I've also been looking at squid game, especially season three, similarly to how I'd look at a Greek tragedy. Squid game shares a lot of key elements you see in them: dramatic irony, hubris, hamartia (a fatal flaw or lapse in judgement leading to a character's downfall), peripeteia (a sudden reversal of circumstances), catharsis (emotional release), and moral dilemmas. The themes also overlap, and I'm reminded of tragedies like Electra. And I think that some of s3's choices make a little bit of sense if you see the story as emulating a Greek tragedy; I'm not saying you have to like it, but for me it made me more understanding of the message being conveyed.

Finally, I want to say that my love for squid game hasn't diminished at all, and I won't be leaving the fandom any time soon. Even with my complicated feelings about s3, I still think s1 and s2 are incredible and it's worth sticking around even just for them.

TLDR; my thoughts are still complicated, but i don't think the season is as bad as i initially thought

[inchidentally]

Inch, just wanted to say (related to that last post) the work you do to keep everyone in check when it comes to landoscar topics is very much appreciated. I dont know anyone who knows about their lore as much as you, and your analysis about whatever their relationship is is always so respectful and level headed. Idk i feel like i can trust whatever you say to be reasonable and rational? And there is a certain level of comfort in that, for me.

Anyways. Yeah, thank you and we appreciate you 🫵💞🫶 -J

BABE STOPPPP <3<3 this is so sweet and I’m so dumb god tysm !!!

I’m so glad that come across with how I am about landoscar bc I always want it to be clear when I’m doing fun narrative rpf versus when I’m talking about drivers realistically. there’s the huge mass of “fans” that I actively want to keep away from landoscar bc while they rack up the numbers on social media they’re also toxic and horrible and do shit like when a a bunch of them told Carlos to kiss Lando on a livestream and Carlos didn’t even crack a smile and very seriously called them strange and weird. and one of the things that drove me out of carland0 fandom as my very first f1 ship was how many ppl choose to be insane and favor a fake narrative and view real life as a threat to it so they hate it being brought up. Carlos and Lando literally call each other brothers and everything that gets twisted as “gay” between them is in fact proof that even tho they go long periods not rly interacting, they’re the type of friends who can pick right up where they left off. but that reality isn’t yaoi so the fans omit everything where they call each other cabrón and brother (and the beloved step brothers poster edit) and are in denial of the fact that they also have similar - and sometimes stronger - bonds with other drivers to try and make the carland0 content seem “special” therefore “gay”

they’re missing out on so much with these drivers when they deliberately filter content for a fake dynamic and since most of what makes carland0 so sweet is the brotherly bond and NOT them doing the same ball taps and nipple twists and socializing they do with about 5 other drivers, if you’re in denial of them being brotherly then most of their content is useless or is the opposite of a gay narrative. and they end up fighting for their lives every week when a bond with another driver shows itself like it’s so exhausting !

and if they’d just pay attention to what Lando and Oscar say and what’s said about them, they could be enjoying an adorable sweet slow burn friendship where Lando kept trying to get Oscar to hang out with him more outside work and so Oscar picked up padel and now they play together regularly and they have all these cute inside meme jokes and silly voices and Max F and Pietra love Oscar and Ed pummeled Oscar at padel and whyyy choose to ignore how sweet that is and choose to get competitive over strangers friendships instead ???? do we not realize that friendships aren’t organized that way by real people in real life ??? “he looks happier with him than his own girlfriend” no he doesn’t !!! bc one is his romantic partner and one is a friend sorry !!

Lando is the beloved baby brother to Carlos and Daniel, Daniel loves Oscar and protected him after the swap, Carlos and Oscar have THE most intriguing stop start relationship building, Lando is life bonded with galex and galex adore Oscar now and are including him socially, Lando and Charles are pretty bitches united and Charles has developed a special soft spot for Oscar

and ofc Oscar blows most carland0 girlies into space w how hard he ships Carlos and Lando and has obsessively fanboyed over them together and individually

so honestly choosing yaoi and excluding real life = flop and I don’t want that happening to landoscar just bc I love going stupid sometimes so I’m very glad it’s clear where I draw the line

AND WE LOVE AND SUPPORT LILY <3

[aptericia]

Man sometimes it really hits me like it should not be this hard.

[sysig]

If it’s not you, what’s the point! (Patreon)

[inanthesis]

I'm gonna try and tackle some drafts today but bc of some nonsense I saw I twitter say it with me folks: Zhongli is the man he is today because of the many friends he's made and the many losses that have eroded him over his life and he was not solely influenced by one dead dust chick.

[ari-ana-bel-la]

baby (like 4) loving the wags cause they’re so girly and since landos a single dad she didn’t have that mother figure in her life, so all the wags love taking care of her during the races and events and stuff

Different kind of mother

It was a bright, sunny day at the racetrack. The buzz of excitement was palpable in the paddock as teams prepared for the race weekend. The air was filled with the hum of engines and the chatter of team members and journalists. Amid all this energy, one figure stood out: Lando, carrying his four-year-old daughter, Yn, in his arms.

Yn was a little bundle of energy, her golden locks bouncing as Lando walked. She was dressed in a cute McLaren dress, matching her father's team colors, and her little sneakers kicked the air as she wriggled in her father’s arms. Yn was very much her father’s daughter. With her sparkling eyes and cheeky smile, she was a reflection of Lando's fun-loving spirit.

Lando was a single dad, and he had done an incredible job of juggling both roles: mom and dad. As much as he loved his little girl, he was also realistic. There were things he just couldn’t teach Yn, things a woman might understand better. So, when it came to race weekends, he was thankful for the support of the WAGs, who loved having Yn with them. They were always so gentle and kind with her, teaching her little things about being a girl that Lando couldn’t offer.

Today was one of those weekends, and Lando was grateful for the women who would take Yn under their wing. As they approached the entrance to the paddock, he saw Kika waiting for them, a smile already on her face.

“Hey, Kika,” Lando greeted, grinning as he walked toward her.

Without saying a word, Kika opened her arms to Yn, her expression full of warmth. Lando hesitated for a moment, but then, with a sigh, he carefully handed Yn over to Kika.

“You’re in good hands,” Lando said, his voice full of trust. He watched as Kika effortlessly cradled Yn, who had no hesitation in cuddling up against the woman.

Kika smiled down at Yn, her affection for the little girl obvious. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s get you something nice,” she cooed, turning to walk toward the VIP area.

Lando stood there for a moment, watching the two of them walk off. The small pang of anxiety in his chest quickly faded. He knew Yn was safe, happy, and in good hands. It wasn’t easy being a single parent, but he had a village of support around him, and the WAGs were a huge part of that.

The VIP area was buzzing with energy. Rebecca, Carmen, and Lily were there, chatting and laughing. When they saw Kika and Yn approach, their faces lit up.

“Yn! My darling!” Rebecca exclaimed, immediately rushing to hug the little girl. Yn giggled as she was enveloped in Rebecca’s warm embrace.

Carmen was next, scooping Yn up in her arms and giving her a kiss on the cheek. “You’re getting more and more beautiful every time I see you,” Carmen said with a smile.

Lily, ever the practical one, quickly moved to prepare a snack for Yn. “What do you want, sweetheart? Apple slices? Or maybe some cheese?” she asked, kneeling down to Yn’s level.

“I want apple slices, please,” Yn said, her voice soft but clear, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Rebecca smiled as she helped Lily with the snack. “You’re spoiling her, Lily,” she teased.

“Anything for her,” Lily replied, her voice warm.

Meanwhile, Kika had Yn settled on her lap, rubbing the back of the little girl’s head as they chatted. The WAGs all gathered around, sharing stories, and it was clear that Yn was thoroughly enjoying herself. The conversation drifted to a lighter topic as Rebecca leaned in, a playful smile on her lips.

“So, Yn,” Rebecca said, her voice full of curiosity. “Tell us, do you have a crush on anyone?”

Yn’s eyes lit up as she leaned in, eager to share. “There’s a cute boy in my kindergarten group. His name is Lukas,” she said, her voice so serious it made everyone chuckle.

“Lukas?” Carmen repeated. “What’s he like?”

“He’s nice,” Yn said, nodding. “He always shares his crayons with me and lets me sit next to him when we play.”

“Aww, how sweet,” Lily cooed, and the other women joined in the adoration.

“Do you think he likes you, Yn?” Kika asked, smiling down at the little girl.

Yn paused, looking thoughtful. “I think so,” she said slowly. “But I don’t know if I like him like that. I just think he’s nice.”

The WAGs laughed, sharing knowing glances. “She’s already got boys in her life,” Rebecca said, mock-shocked.

“Just wait until she’s older,” Carmen teased. “Lando’s going to be in trouble.”

Yn looked up at them with wide eyes. “I won’t tell Daddy. It’s a secret!” she whispered, giggling.

The WAGs all shared a laugh, and Kika leaned down to plant a kiss on Yn’s forehead. “It’s our little secret, okay?” she said, winking.

The day went on like that. The WAGs doted on Yn, laughing with her, feeding her, and playing little games. At one point, Carmen pulled out a pair of playful sunglasses and slipped them onto Yn’s face.

“Oh my goodness, Yn, you look just like your dad with those on!” Rebecca said, gasping.

The others agreed, laughing at the uncanny resemblance. Lando was known for his goofy sunglasses, and it seemed that Yn had inherited that sense of style.

“You’ve got the same mischievous look, too,” Carmen added, and they all laughed again.

The women quickly snapped a picture of Yn in the sunglasses and sent it to Lando, knowing it would make him smile. They all joked about how much the little girl resembled her father, and Yn grinned proudly, completely unaware of how cute and hilarious she was.

Later, after a busy day full of laughter and fun, it was time for the men to come and collect their girlfriends. Lando arrived, looking for Yn, and the moment he stepped into the VIP area, his eyes immediately landed on his little girl, sitting in Kika’s lap.

Yn spotted her dad and immediately stood up, running toward him. “Daddy!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him.

Lando smiled, bending down to scoop her up. “Hey, sweetheart,” he said, kissing her cheek. “Did you have fun today?”

Yn looked up at him, her face serious. “I can’t tell you,” she said, shaking her head dramatically. “It’s a girls’ secret.”

Lando raised an eyebrow, feigning offense. “A girls’ secret? What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, pretending to pout.

The WAGs burst into laughter. “You’re going to have to wait, Lando,” Rebecca teased, smiling at him. “It’s a secret, after all.”

Lando grinned, but he wasn’t about to let it go. “I see how it is. My own daughter, keeping secrets from me. That’s the thanks I get for letting her spend the day with you all?”

“You know we’re just spoiling her,” Carmen said with a grin. “She’s a little star.”

“More like a mini Lando,” Lily added, shaking her head in amusement.

Kika, who had been cuddling Yn all day, seemed reluctant to let the little girl go. She squeezed her tightly one more time before reluctantly letting her down. “I don’t want to let you go, Yn,” Kika said softly.

“I’ll see you soon, Auntie Kiki,” Yn said, her voice full of sweetness, and Kika smiled, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“Take care of my girl, Lando,” Kika said as she stood up. “She’s a treasure.”

Lando gave Kika a nod, his gratitude clear. “Thanks again, Kika,” he said, his voice full of appreciation.

As they walked out of the VIP area, Yn chattered excitedly, telling her dad about everything she had done, but Lando wasn’t in any rush. He listened to every word, smiling at his little girl who was growing up so fast. Despite everything, Lando knew one thing for sure: Yn was surrounded by love, and that was all that mattered.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Authors Note: Hey loves. I hope you enjoyed reading this story. My requests are always open for you.

-💙🦋

[nadvs]

the power play (part five)

pairing hockeyplayer! rafe cameron x tutor! reader

rating mature 18+

summary rafe is your complete opposite. the only thing you have in common with the hockey player you tutor is that he’s also recently had his heart broken. in a last-ditch effort to make the people who hurt you regret it, you agree to pretend to date.

< prev

You haven’t spoken to Rafe since he angrily left your dorm three nights ago.

You’re sitting in your booked study room, waiting for him to arrive, wondering if he’ll be regretful of your argument or be ready for round two or pretend it never happened.

Either way, you’d prefer to make light of it and move on. He may no longer be your fake boyfriend, if he really meant what he said, but you’re still going to be seeing him every week.

You hope that you can just give him back his jersey and leave what happened in the past.

The guilt that Rafe has been running from catches up to him once he walks in and sees you. He blew up the other night and you met him with understanding he’s never been given before, softness he doesn’t know what to do with.

“Let’s just get it out in the open,” you say as the door clicks shut behind him. “We fought. I was expecting a bouquet of apology roses, but maybe they got lost in the mail?”

He huffs. Typical of you to make a joke about it.

He sits down, slouched back as he unpacks his things, his long legs stretched out beneath the table. He doesn’t know what to say and is relieved, for once, that you fill the silence.

“I get why you got annoyed,” you say, “but I haven't changed my mind. This doesn’t have to be weird. No hard feelings, right?”

His jaw tenses as he sets your copy of We Have Always Lived in the Castle on the desk. He got through it quickly. And he actually didn’t hate it.

He’s sure it was only because reading killed the time he’d normally had spent training, but he figures this is a good enough topic to start with.

“I finished it,” he murmurs, looking down at the paperback. “It was good.”

“Oh. Wow,” you say, perking up. “You liked it?”

He nods, earning a prideful smile from you.

“Because…?”

“It was short,” he says.

“You walked into this room, I think a month ago to the day, and looked insulted when I asked you if you liked reading,” you say. “And now you’re telling me you enjoyed a book. That’s huge. I need way more than it was short.”

“You’re being a lot right now.”

“I know.” Your smile doesn’t falter. You motion for his laptop, he hands it to you, and you open a new document. “Keep talking. What did you like about it?”

“It got to the point.”

“The prose is very clear,” you agree, typing in the note. “What’d you think of the twist at the end? Did you see it coming?”

“No.”

“This is why I love this class. It introduces you to books you might’ve never picked up,” you gush, then take a breath. “You better not be trying to trick me. You knew I’d get excited about this and forget that we argued. But I’m already over it. Okay, I’m talking too much. Your turn.”

The relief of seeing you act like you normally do has lifted the weight that’s been sinking into Rafe since the night he snapped at you.

Now that he’s with you again, confined in a room he didn’t think he’d ever not mind being in, there’s no avoiding the fact that you have an effect on him.

Against his expectations, he cares about what you think. About how you feel. And he just wants to fix this.

“You don’t know what my fights with her used to be like,” he says. “I’ve heard it all.”

You still for a moment, then rest your elbow on the table, chin in your hand as you gaze at him through compassionate eyes.

You can sympathize that not knowing what Emma said is irritating him, but you couldn’t repeat her cruel words, even if you wanted to.

“I understand,” you say, “but I can’t bring myself to tell you something that’ll just hurt you.”

“That’s my point,” he scoffs. “It won’t hurt me.”

“It could.”

Rafe sinks into the realization that he’ll just have to take the loss here. You’re not going to tell him what he wants to know, because you don’t want to wound him. Even though he kind of deserves it for his outburst.

“I know I…” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I know I didn’t have to lose it on you like that the other night.”

“Yeah,” you breathe a defeated chuckle. “You didn’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

He fans through the book just to have something to do with his hands.

You take in the remorse etched into his handsome face and you admire that even though he can be rash, he tries to clean up the messes he makes, pushing aside his ego when he needs to.

“We’re past it,” you conclude. You look at the laptop screen again, glad this will be a clean break. “Let’s write what we can about this book first and then go back to the other essay. What else did you like?”

Rafe expected that you’d bounce back after your rift. Your positivity is so relentless that it almost tires him out. But he needs to make sure you know he uttered those words out of disingenuous impulse.

“I didn’t really mean that we should end it,” he clarifies.

You look at him again, a crease formed between his brows.

“Are you trying to un-break up with me?” you tease. “This is awkward. I already started pretend-dating one of the other guys I tutor.”

“You tutor other guys?” he asks before thinking.

“I didn’t want you to find out like this,” you play along.

Rafe’s chest pinches. He doesn’t know why he assumed you exclusively tutored him. He thought he was the only one you see like this, the only one you ramble to and nag and joke with. Why does he hate that he’s not?

“Come on,” he murmurs, shoving past the unwelcome thought. “I know you miss me.”

You laugh. His typical brand of humor is detached and blunt and it’s nice to see another side of him, a playful side that makes him seem warm.

“I have to think about it.” You shrug. “Okay. We’re back together. I had a feeling you were just being mean the other night anyway.”

Rafe’s lips fall into a guilty frown. Without thinking, he scratches the back of his neck, grimacing and letting out a sharply exhaled fuck as his shoulder stings in pain.

“Are you okay?” you ask, serious now.

“Yeah,” he grunts.

“Convincing,” you say. “What is it?”

He sees no reason to hide it. You did tell him that he can vent to you and if there’s anyone he’d complain to about this, it’s you.

He’d rather not tell anyone on the team. Not even his closest friends. He doesn’t want to look weak.

“My shoulder’s fucked up,” he admits.

“Is it from that board check the other night?”

He nods and says, “Physio said it’s a strained muscle.”

“How bad?”

“I’m benched. He’ll look at it again before game two.”

“You mean you can’t play the first game of the championship?” you surmise.

Rafe’s tight expression tells you that you assumed correctly. You grimace sympathetically.

“Did he say if you can use anything to help with the pain?”

“Heat when it gets bad,” he says.

“I’ll be right back,” you say.

He watches you rush out, his forehead wrinkled in confusion. Moments later, you come back with an instant hot compress and place it on the desk in front of him.

“The library has a bunch of first aid kits,” you tell him, sitting back down.

“How’d you know that?” Rafe squeezes the package in one hand, the subdued pop cracking through the small room. “You really like it here that much?”

“A student of mine got a papercut once,” you explain with a laugh. “But yes, I do enjoy being surrounded by books.”

“Right,” he huffs, still in disbelief of how different you two are. “Thanks.”

He rests the package on top of his shoulder, comforting heat spilling through his t-shirt.

When Rafe lets out a velvety, satisfied groan, you find yourself flustered within half a second. Your mind sprints away from you. A mere sound has never made every inch of you tense like this before.

Your imagination can’t keep doing this to you, but it feels impossible to ignore the physical pull you’re starting to feel towards him.

You swallow hard and look at the laptop again, blinking.

This is bad.

You’re crossing the line and you need to yank yourself back into rationality. Rafe is a friend and all the affection he’s given you has been a sham and it’s disconcerting that you keep having to remind yourself of that.

You know he could never give you what you need in a relationship. The last time you saw him was cold, hard proof of that. He’s much too volatile to make a good boyfriend.

And that’s accompanied by a very big if he even likes you like that, which you highly doubt, given how easily you frustrate him. You refuse to overthink, to tumble into infatuation with another man who’ll just hurt you.

“Anyways,” you say, your eyes locked on the screen. “We really should get to work.”

════════

With ten minutes left of the session, Rafe’s laptop dies. You slide it towards him, disappointed you couldn’t upload the essay you’d just finished before the battery drained.

“Make sure to submit it before midnight,” you say. “Oh, and Lyla and Beck’s parents are hosting their birthday party on Saturday, so consider me unavailable for fake girlfriend duties that night.”

Rafe opens his backpack, pushing his laptop in as he mulls over your words. That sounds like the type of event you’d want him to come to.

“Do you need me there?” he asks.

“You were invited,” you say, “but I’ll say you were busy. You’d hate it. It’s an hour away, with a bunch of strangers you’d have to impress, and there’s obviously no way your ex would be there. I can do this on my own.”

Rafe stills before he speaks again.

“Do you need me there?” he repeats, more evenly.

It riled him up to see Emma leave the last party with another guy. To see his arm around her at the game. He hoped he’d be able to count on you to be by his side if he sees them together again this weekend.

But mostly, and more importantly, picturing you at that birthday party alone, in the same room with the guy who hurt you, all because you didn’t want to make Rafe feel forced into going, gnaws at him.

You stare at him, trying to make sense of his tight expression. It’s confusing that he’s still even in this room, asking if you want his help after you’ve given him an out.

“Are you sure?” you ask. You’re positive you’d be fine without him, but he’s sort of become a security blanket.

“I’ve… seen her around with some guy,” he tells you. “It’d be good to get away from campus. And I owe you for losing my cool the other night.”

“Do you even have a cool?” you chuckle.

Rafe glares at you, but it’s proven disingenuous by the small, dimpled smirk he chooses not to stifle.

“I hope I’m with you the next time you see them together,” you say. “Anyways, we can drive up together, then?”

Your eyes brighten with your smile. He doesn’t know if anyone has ever looked at him like that, purely and truly excited to spend time with him.

“A bunch of friends from high school will be there, and obviously Beck and Lyla’s parents, who basically consider me their daughter,” you continue, “so we’ll need to be convincing. It’s a casual dinner, then we’ll just hang out as long as we want. Can you pick me up at five?”

“Yeah,” he says. He stands up, pulling his bag over his good shoulder. “See you.”

You watch him pace towards the door, relieved that you’ll have him there, grateful that he's doing this for you even though you’re certain he really doesn’t want to.

“Hey,” you mumble. He looks at you again. You motion to his injury. “Be careful with your shoulder. And… you’re going to call me corny, but I’m really glad you’re coming.”

A few seconds of silence pass between you.

“You’re corny,” he replies.

You share a smile before he steps out of the study room into the quiet library.

Emptiness abruptly digs into his chest once he’s not with you, growing deeper the farther he walks away.

You’re unlike anyone he’s known. You don’t try to hide how much you care about him and you see things in him he didn’t know were there and you combat his temper with humor and with tenderness and with reassurance that makes him feel like he’s not irreversibly fucking up all the time.

He’s never felt like this before. Like the void he’s always trying to fill isn’t bottomless after all.

════════

Your exhale is shaky as Rafe exits the freeway with only a few minutes left of the drive to Beck and Lyla’s home.

You pull down the sun visor, gazing at your reflection. You’re suddenly quiet and fidgety after you’d chattered for most of the ride.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. “And why the hell do I have to ask?”

You chuckle, catching his implication that you typically blab about what’s bothering you without him having to check in.

“I don’t know how I’m going to look their parents in the eye and lie.”

“It’s that hard to pretend to like me?” Rafe murmurs. He’s glad there’s no edge to his tone, glad he can hide that your words stung him a little.

“No,” you chuckle. “When you’re being nice, I like you. Just not like that, obviously.”

Obviously. It’s happening again, the painful crook in his core, the tangled feelings that just keep twisting together.

He used to not care if you liked him. Because he didn’t like you. But your last conversation did something to him, something that was already quietly building up, something that he needs to strip before it sticks.

After every fight he had with Emma, he sensed the palpable cracks forming between them. With you, things felt stronger once you moved past your argument.

Fuck. Why is he thinking about you like you’re his actual girlfriend, comparing his last relationship? This is the last thing he needs.

“It just feels… official. Like I’m bringing a boy home,” you continue. “Nobody’s seen me in a relationship before and they might question your intentions and I don’t want it to be weird.”

You look in the mirror again.

“And I think I’m having a bad hair day. And a bad face day. And I kind of hate my outfit.”

Rafe can’t take your nonsense. Insinuating that you’re anything short of beautiful is the most ridiculous thing he’s heard you say.

He shuts the visor and utters, “You’re doing that overthinking shit again.”

“Okay, so, that’s a perfect example of you not being nice,” you laugh.

You know if you really liked him as more than a friend, his curtness would hurt you. It’s reassuring, the realization that your attraction to Rafe will never be more than physical.

You breathe a sigh, anticipating being with your friends again after you’ve parted ways to different colleges. You wonder if anyone’s changed in the few months since.

You glance over at Rafe.

“What were you like in high school?” you ask.

“The same,” he answers.

“So, just as warm and cuddly?” you tease.

He smirks. You smile like you do every time you crack his facade. It always makes you feel a little proud.

“Better when I started playing hockey,” he relents. “How about you?”

You purse your lips in thought.

“What do you mean better?” you prod.

Rafe’s in no mood to elaborate, stiffly repeating, “How about you?”

You roll your eyes. It’s like pulling teeth, getting this man to share anything.

“I haven’t really changed much,” you reply. He finds himself thinking that it’d be a shame if you ever did.

Rafe follows the GPS to pull into a quiet suburban street. He slows down in front of the house and parks. You gaze out your window to see helium balloons surrounding the front door and reach for the handle.

“Hey,” he rasps.

You turn your head to meet his eyes.

“You don’t need to freak out. We got this. And you…” He looks away. “You look good.”

The words are tight coming out of his mouth, like he really didn’t want to have to say them.

You start to thank him, but he’s already stepping out of the car.

════════

The party is so busy that you and Rafe disappear in the crowd. He stands close by as you catch up with your friends, remembering details about where they’ve gone after graduation, asking questions, making jokes.

When it’s time for dinner, you sit next to him at the table, diagonal to Beck, who has done nothing but flash you awkward smiles here and there.

He’s hardly spoken to you. You wish you weren’t doing it again, second-guessing if he really is jealous.

You feel a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“I didn’t get a chance to say hi,” Lyla’s mother says. You smile at her and sit up to give her a hug.

“There’s a lot of people,” you say understandingly.

“My kids are too social,” she jokes quietly, leaning over. She looks over at Rafe. “You must be…?”

“Rafe,” you say. His smile is faint, but believable.

“I hope you know I have to grill you a little,” she tells him.

“I know,” he says, glancing at you. “She warned me.”

He’s playing it entirely cool. You’re relieved. You had nothing to worry about. He has this handled.

“How’d you meet?” she asks.

“I’m his tutor,” you tell her.

“Always been a smart one,” she replies, squeezing your hand. “Is that what made you like her?”

Your eyes land on Rafe again, nerves pricking your spine.

“It’s… one a lot of things, yeah,” he says.

“What else?”

Rafe’s heart thrums.

“I don’t know anyone like her.” His eyes soften as he looks at you, the amusement in them replaced by a depth you’ve only ever seen in glimpses, when his guard slips a little. “And she has a good heart.”

“She does,” Lyla’s mother says, straightening to stand. “You better treat her right.”

“I will,” he says with a nod. When she steps away, you nudge his knee with yours.

“That was amazing,” you say. Your praise gives him a high.

“I’m a great liar,” he replies.

You nudge him again, laughing.

“I don’t care,” you say. “You can’t take any of that back.”

He wouldn’t want to anyway. It was the truth.

════════

After dinner, Beck and Lyla’s mother brings out an ornate cake, prompting the room to break out in song. You watch Beck and Lyla blow out the candles as everyone applauds.

“I’ll never forget what the nurse said the day you two were born,” their father announces as he stands by the head of the table, holding a glass up. “Even when they’re big, you’ll picture them this small. And it’s true.”

He looks down, nodding curtly, lips twisting.

“Here we go again,” Lyla laughs.

“He cries every year,” you explain to Rafe in a hush.

He gazes at your profile as their dad continues his toast. He was aware you knew Beck for a long time, for years, but seeing this makes it real.

He can picture it now, you spending your adolescence in this house, making memories with this family, falling for the guy sitting on the other side of the table who brushed you off, who’s blind to how happy you make everyone around you.

The night you sat on that kitchen counter in that frat house back on campus, your eyes deepened with a sadness that hardly ever comes across your face, and you told him what you saw in Beck. What made you fall for him.

Fun. Kind. Nice to everybody.

And it’s a reminder of why this fire that’s growing inside Rafe for you needs to be put out. He’s the antithesis of the guy you’re in love with. You’d never want him like that.

“I’m so proud of both of you,” their father continues. “Happy birthday.”

Rafe looks down at his plate, wishing he’d been prepared for the wave of pain that’s crashing down on him as the sounds of conversation and dishes rattling and joyous laughter ricochet across the room.

He hates to admit it to himself, but Beck has everything he wants, down to a father who’s proud of his son.

He glances over at you again, but you’re still looking at Beck, your smile both happy and sad, your eyes trained on the one person you’re doing all of this for.

════════

The party moves to the rec room after Beck and Lyla’s parents wish everyone a good night.

Rafe’s hand is in yours as you lead him down the carpeted stairs, then settle on the plush sectional couch next to him as you chat with your friends.

He always hated his impulsivity. He was just telling himself to put out the fire, but he only throws fuel onto it when he curls an arm around your waist, pulling you closer the moment Beck walks in.

You nuzzle in, shifting to look at him again, your noses nearly bumping from how close you are.

“It’s the other shoulder?” you confirm softly, making sure you aren’t putting pressure on where he’s hurting.

“Yeah,” he says.

You nod and absorb yourself back into the group’s conversation. Your back is pressed against his chest and he hopes you don’t feel how hard his heart is pounding.

But he knows that the way you make him feel isn’t unique to him. He sees it now that you’re with your friends. You make everyone feel this way, like you want them around.

Drinks start getting passed. You look at Rafe again.

“I’m staying sober tonight,” you tell him. “Thought I should reassure you that I won’t be inviting myself over for another sleepover.”

He wants to ask why that’d be such a bad thing and it’s like he left his sanity upstairs, because now he’s wondering what the hell he’s doing wanting to flirt with you.

“Everyone’s playing,” Lyla announces as she places a box in the middle of the coffee table. “And nobody’s allowed to sit out. You legally can’t say no to the birthday girl.”

“It’s my birthday, too,” Beck says.

“Who cares?” Lyla jokes, opening the box. “It’s truth or dare. We’ll take turns picking a card and reading it out loud and if you won’t do either or you fail at a dare, you have to drink.”

“Oh, no,” you whisper to Rafe.

“Just be happy you found a way to read at a party,” he replies.

You crack a genuine laugh. His lips pull into a smile as he watches you, gratified that the joy you’re feeling right now is entirely because of him.

You feel Beck’s stare on you from his spot on the couch a couple of people away. You look up at him and he looks away and it’s like a discombobulating shove into the past, reminding you of when you’d catch him staring and let your mind run away with daydreams.

The feeling of Rafe’s arm tightening around you grounds you in reality, but it also sends a rush of heat through you and you hate that it does that.

“Truth: what's something you're glad your family doesn't know about you?” Lyla reads out. “Or dare: keep your eyes closed for three full minutes. Easy. Dare.”

She closes her eyes, then points to her right. The game continues around the circle and when it’s your turn to pick, you select a card, feeling everyone but Lyla’s stare on you.

“Truth: what’s the last excuse you used to cancel plans? Dare: don’t laugh or smile until your next turn.”

“Worst dare you could’ve gotten,” Rafe murmurs.

“You’d never manage,” your friend, Marcus chuckles.

You laugh, then laugh again when you realize you just proved both of them right.

“Damn it,” you say. “You know what? I’ll take the dare.”

You put the card down on the table and exhale deeply, trying to focus.

Rafe’s eyes flit to Marcus, whose eyes stay on you longer than he’d like them to.

“Your turn,” you say to Rafe, stone-faced.

He’d rather not play this, but he’s supposed to be acting like a good boyfriend. Besides, there’s something about disappointing you that makes him feel worse than disappointing anyone else.

He leans forward, his arm lifting off of you for a moment, and picks up a card. His hand settles on your hip again as he reclines, his bicep hard against your back.

He’s only staring at the card, so you tilt your head back to read it aloud for him.

“When was the last time you cried? Or, let someone in the room write whatever they want on you with a permanent marker.”

You look at him, holding back your smile, knowing you’re both thinking the same thing. As his girlfriend, it’d make sense that you’d be the one to mark his body.

He would never admit to crying, especially to a group of strangers. The reminder of Emma’s words, of how she’d said he called her in tears, makes your stomach drop. Suddenly, not smiling doesn’t take any effort anymore.

“Dare,” you answer for him. “I need a marker.”

“I’ll get it. Someone help me,” Lyla says, her eyes still shut as she stands. She feels for her way around the room as one of your mutual friends stands up to accompany her. “Keep playing!”

The next person starts their turn, and you take Rafe’s free hand and rest his arm across his lap, gently to not tug too hard and strain his shoulder.

It’s a shock how instinctually you did it, how touching him is natural now, yet still manages to make your heart race a little faster every time you do it.

“I’m going for a meaningful one. I’m thinking my name,” you tease, running your finger up the length of the inside of his forearm, eyes travelling over the faint lines of veins, “from here to here. Sound good?”

“No,” he answers gruffly. You crack a smirk. “And you lost your dare.”

“Don’t tell,” you mumble, forcing your smile away. “You know I can’t hold my alcohol.”

When both girls come back downstairs, Lyla blindly hands you the marker. You meet Rafe’s stare before you look down at his arm.

“The card said whatever I want,” you say quietly, mischief in your tone.

He watches you lean in, eyelashes fluttering as you blink, lips pursing in thought. The wet ink hits the inside of his wrist and his stomach goes numb when you start to slide the smooth, thin end of the marker over him, your thumb gently pressing into his skin as you hold him steady.

Rafe stares as you concentrate, and he starts to breathe a little deeper simply because the way you smell has become a comfort now, a familiarity, a hit of dopamine.

You sit up seconds later. He looks down to see Room 205 written in small, black characters. Your study room.

“You’ll never forget where to go,” you say happily. “Well, until it washes off.”

You finally meet his eyes again. He’s wearing the same concentrated look you’ve seen before, like he’s trying to figure something out.

“What, did you really expect I’d write something that bad?” you say as you snap the cap back on the marker.

The group continues with the next round, and when it’s your turn again, you have to choose between sharing your biggest insecurity or whispering a secret to someone in the room.

“Dare,” you decide, putting the card on the table and leaning back, lifting your chin to whisper into Rafe’s ear.

He slightly angles his head so that nobody can read your lips, shivers spreading over his skin from the feeling of your cheek on his.

“You’re probably my favorite student that I’ve ever tutored,” you say quietly.

It’s not a lie. Even with all his flaws, Rafe has given you something you’re not sure anybody else would have. He came into your life at the perfect time, came up with the perfect idea, and you’re deeply grateful for it.

He hastily cups your jaw, his hand so large it covers your cheek completely, as he tilts your head so he can tell you something, too. His lips brush over the shell of your ear.

“Just probably?” he whispers back. “That’s bullshit.”

You pull back, laughing, your eyes lingering on him.

“Don’t start making out, please,” Lyla teases.

You roll your eyes and look at the group again.

“I’ll spare you all the PDA,” you reply.

“Why start now?” a friend jokes.

“Yeah,” Beck quietly huffs. An ache of confusion rattles through you.

The game carries on, but Beck’s eyes linger on you. He’s never looked at you like this before. And it makes you believe what Rafe has been telling you this entire time.

════════

You leave the party holding Rafe’s hand and untangle your fingers from his the moment you’re out of the house, the moment there aren’t any eyes on you.

Rafe’s palm is cold now that your touch is gone.

Again, he’s powerless to the way his heart does whatever it wants and doesn’t give his head a chance to catch up.

He wasn’t supposed to like you.

He never expected to.

But when he looks at you as you tread towards his car together and the hushed moonlight bathes your features in its glow and you offer him that smile that makes his heart splinter in a way it never has, he yields to the truth, unable to put up a fight any longer.

He’s hopeless. You’ve pulled him under. And he had no choice but to let you.

next >

author’s note and the yearning (that eventually turns mutual) begins 🙂‍↕️

if you want notifications on when i post my fics, follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications 💘

[tbaluver]

"Where Do Babies Come From?" - The Love And DeepSpace Men

pairings in order: xavier x reader, zayne x reader, rafayel x reader, sylus x reader genre: fluff fluff + silly + scenario summary: your child(ren) ask you and your lover where babies come from requested: anonnie ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა a/n: hihi lovelies ! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)♡ posting this before the livestream that's in a couple hours ! i hope you all enjoy reading and i hope to have a couple more posts out this week ! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

“Papa, where do babies come frwom?” The question was simple yet it struck him like a lightning bolt. His son’s innocent eyes stared up at him, waiting for an answer but he was left frozen at his spot, his mind completely blank. How could he possibly explain this? He was never prepared for this question, it was never in the parenting books he’s read when you were pregnant.

In your shared bedroom, you sat on the bed, scrolling through your phone when Xavier and your son walked in, hand in hand. Xavier held a small notebook in the other but your son darting towards you with open arms distracts you. “Mommy!” He squeals as you scoop him up and plant a sweet kiss at the top of his head.

“Mommy, me and daddy want to know where babies come from!” You blink, glancing at Xavier who sits at the edge of the bed, nodding along to his son as he opens up the notebook, ready to take notes

“You and daddy?” You ask, darting your gaze at your son and back to Xavier. “Well..when mommy and daddy love each other very much..” You trail off, choosing your words carefully. You wanted to keep it as innocent and simple as possible and it seems that your son believed you as he nodded along.

When your son ran off the play, you sighed in relief, glad to know that the topic didn’t go any more awkward than that. “So Xavier...why did you need to know?” You quirk a brow at him, as if he wasn’t also the reason you both have a son who you both love very much.

“So next time, when we have another child I’ll know what to say.”

Zayne:

Small footsteps padded across the floor making their way towards Zayne’s home office. He sat at his desk, reviewing the slides for his upcoming conference, absorbing all the details. Zayne usually lets her play around in his office if she wants to, but if there is anything bothering her, he can always ask her.

“Daddy?” She peeks at the side of his desk, stretching up on her tippy toes so she can see him. Zayne’s attention shifts, the sound of his office chair turning so she knows his focus was fully on her. He reached out, scooping her up and settled her comfortably in his lap.

“What’s wrong dear?” He asks softly.

She tilts her, “Since you’re a doctor where do babies come from?” The question caught him off guard for a moment but it quickly softened into a smile. It’s impossible for him not to find her adorable to be so curious at this age. It reminded him of his own childhood where he would always ask his parents questions.

He clears his throat, “They come from their mother’s stomach.” A simple answer his own mother had given him when he was around her age. It was enough for him even if he hadn’t fully understood it at the time.

Her brow furrowed slightly as she processed the information, her finger tapping her lip as she thought. “But..how did the baby get there?”

Zayne chuckles softly, his heart melting at the sight of her little mind trying to piece things together. Gently, he pinches her cheek. “I promise I’ll explain it to you when you’re older, alright ?After I’m finished with this, we can go play”” He kisses the top of her head before setting her down, hoping she’ll forget about it for now.

Rafayel:

Small feets padded their way toward their father who sat at the couch, balancing a pencil between the bridge of his nose as he concentrated on a sketch. The moment he heard their playful shrieks come closer to him, his attention shifts as he sets the sketchbook down. With arms opened wide, the children dove into his embrace, their tiny bodies crashing into him playfully.

“Daddy daddy!” One of your sons bounce up and down in excitement, his voice bubbling with curiosity.

He chuckles softly, pulling them away. “Yes my little glub glubs?” He asks as all the children snuggle closer to him. They exchange glances, deciding on who would speak first. Rafayel raises a brow, a smile tugging at his lips as he watches his children in curiosity

“Where do babies come from?” One of them suddenly asks, the other two nodded in unison, their eyes wide as they wait for their lemurian father to speak. He froze in his spot, leaving him momentarily speechless.

“Oh!” He stammered, scratching the back of his hair, smiling sheepishly. “How about you ask mommy? Y'know she’s very experienced with that.” Yes, yes he’s a genius. He dodged the question for now.

“Mommy told us to ask you!”

“Yeah! Yeah!” Another chimes in.

“She said you’re the reason we’re here!” They nodded eagerly, waiting for him to provide an answer.

“Does that make you our mommy then daddy?” The youngest asks, innocence in their eyes as well as confusion. However, the question hit him like a brick, leaving him frozen in his spot again. They completely misunderstood what you said and now his children are looking at him as if he was a male seahorse.

He blinks, “No, no I’m still daddy,” He clarifies, chuckling nervously. “What mommy means is...when me and her kiss.. in the sea, we make a seagull come and deliver you to us one by one! It’s a realllyyyy long process.”

You’re definitely going to pay him back after this.

Sylus:

You and Sylus were nestled in the living room couch, your hand resting gently on your baby bump. While you watched a show/ movie, Sylus sat beside you, his glasses perched on the edge of his nose as he flipped through pages. Your little girl sat at the coffee table, creating little scenarios in her world of dolls and toys, the tiny figurines making soft clicking noises as she moved them across the table.

With a curious expression, she picked up the two dolls in each hand, one she often associated them as ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’, studying both of them. Her crimson eyes flicked between the two figures and then over to their small family of children she had arranged in the playset. Her gaze shifts to your grown belly, curiosity of hers growing.

“Mommy, Daddy?” she asks, her cute little voice gaining both of your attention. She walks over to you both, her white hair tied up slightly bouncing with each step.

“What is it sweetie?” Sylus asks, lowering the papers, his crimson eyes meeting hers. She hesitates for a moment, still holding the dolls before shifting her gaze back between you both.

“Where do babies come from?” She asks innocently. The question hung in the air for a moment, catching you both off guard. It wasn’t just the question itself, but it just felt so sudden. Sylus knew that this would eventually come but he didn’t expect it to be quite so soon. Maybe he shouldn’t have bought her a room full of dolls.

“Well sweetie they come from your mother’s v-”

“AHEM.”

Looks like you’ll handle this for now and Sylus gets to sit this one out

[atrwriting]

on the road again — sam winchester x fem!reader

as always, warnings: smut, rough, choking, dom sam, mean sam, friends with benefits sex, car sex, p in v penetration, one night stand

summary: sam finds out you’ve never had an orgasm

barely edited we die like men

———

usual scene after cracking a case — dive bar, everyone buys a round, greasy food, and a game or two of pool. usually a round consisted of a beer… but tonight? after the case you had? tonight was whisky. and it flowed. and flowed. and flowed.

“i’ve only been doing this for a few years — i don’t know how you and dean can still get up every day and do this,” you spoke, setting your shot glass down.

“dean loves nothing more than work all day, and crawling into someone else’s bed at night —“ sam laughed, taking his shot. “keeps him sane. and him getting laid and not cranky keeps me sane.”

“is sex what keeps you sane?” you asked with a laugh, motioning the bartender over for another round.

“sometimes — not really,” he shook his head.

“same,” you spoke. “casual sex is so hard to enjoy — i don’t care what dean says.”

“why do you say that?” sam chuckled.

“it’s hard enough teaching someone what you like — now you have to tell and expect a stranger to understand, and leave satisfied? that’s a lot of trust in someone i don’t know.”

he laughed again. “fair, but also — you might just have to advocate for what you want more. clear and explicit directions are the way to go.”

you stayed silent, wishing your glass was full once more to do something — anything — to tear away from the awkwardness of the situation. the whiskey had already began to dull your senses, but nothing ever seemed to dull sam’s. you knew he knew with barely a glance in his direction.

“unless you’re not able to convey clear and explicit directions…” he stated.

fuck.

“ok, lawyer,” you scoffed, taking your shot as you tried to hide your embarrassment.

“maybe that’s why you can’t perfect the ‘dean method’,” he spoke, fighting back a laugh, before awkwardness struck his face. “i’m sorry — i shouldn’t — i’m just messing around, is all.”

“you’re good, i know,” you smiled, waving your hand in the air. “but who’s got the time? i swear — it’s so much easier for guys.”

“definitely,” he spoke, and continued in a very technical manner. “i mean, i’ve heard that some women really struggle with even achieving orgasms by themselves.”

“i forgot you were a scholar, winchester,” you spoke, trying to not draw attention to the way your cheeks were reddening.

but with the way he stared at you, his eyes narrowing… you knew he knew your secret.

“you’ve never… before?” he questioned.

“no,” you spoke softly, holding his gaze. awkward topic, sure, but, hey — if he’s bringing it up, he’s got to deal with it.

“wow,” he spoke, letting out a sigh of disbelief. he did that weird thing with his eyes that he usually does when he’s surprised: they go wide, and they blink a few times — as if he could blink away the conversation he definitely regretted starting like an eyelash. “like… ever?”

“never,” you responded, shaking your head.

“wow,” he spoke, taking a swig of his beer. “that’s… that’s…”

“sam, i didn’t break my leg,” you spoke, trying to laugh it off. “i’ve never had an orgasm, but i’m not dead.”

“dean would think you might as well be,” sam quipped.

“agreed,” you chuckled, flagging down the bartender for another drink. “i’ve turned dean down a few times — lil too old for me — but if i get really curious, maybe i’ll —“

“don’t,” he suddenly spoke, shaking his head.

“…hey, you brought up dean and my sex life — this was bound to get uncomfortable,” you giggled.

“i can talk about either when they’re mutually exclusive,” he replied, now keeping his gaze on his beer bottle.

“and you’re also the one that brought up me needing casual sex,” you quipped.

“not with him.”

you rolled your eyes then, but the smile on your lips remained. “dare i ask — who, pray tell?”

you watched as sam took his time answering. he leaned over the bar with both elbows on the counter, letting both muscles strain against the sleeves of his shirt. his skin, lightly tanned, reflected the light from above to show off just how much sam put into working out. you watched the veins in his arms ripple, along with the one in his neck as he swallowed. once he took a final swig of his beer, he stared at you then. and when he finally spoke? well, he only spoke one word: “me.”

a half hour later, you were in the back of the impala. sam had you in his lap, manspreading his strong, long legs. it was hard to be insecure about anything about yourself with sam — he could pick anyone up and throw them if he wanted, so you felt like a goddess in your tight black jeans, grinding your core down onto him.

he had his large hands on your hips — pads of his fingers digging into your flesh. they would push and pull with every roll of your hips you gave. he wanted you as much as you wanted him, and he couldn’t help but want to control and mold it. the way you keened for him? sat so nicely in his lap? ran your hands all over his chest, up and down his neck, and through his hair? the pretty way you pressed your chest into him? oh, he was done for — but sam’s selfish side would be taking over.

“take off your pants and lay back against the door,” he ordered, pressing one last firm kiss to your lips.

you scrambled off of him, pushing your jeans down your legs as sam tried to pull the fabric off. there was nothing but confidence, determination, and hunger in his movements, leaving you with no room for awkwardness.

“your hands feel so good on me,” you rasped. “can you touch me… there?”

you shouldn’t have even had to ask, he thought. he liked to hear your voice, though — especially when it was full of want and need. there was nothing shy about your requests, and there was nothing shy about his response. the pads of sam’s fingers had immediately found your most sensitive bud, drawing rough circles. he had to test the waters, after all — you didn’t know what you liked, but sam winchester would find out. you sucked in a soft breath at the feeling, but all that came out of you was a whine. a whine for sam’s hands. his arms. his chest. his muscles. everything that held him above you and shielded you from the world — hiding you from everything dangerous, while keeping you all to himself.

sam’s lips immediately connected with the soft, sensitive skin of your neck. you hated hickeys, but the way he sucked at your neck? drawing blood to the surface? keeping your attention and thoughts on him, and only him? it was intoxicating, the way it felt. sam drew primal feelings from you — there was no shame, nor insecurity. he wanted you to feel everything he felt for you, and he wanted you to crave it.

he wanted you to crave the way skin prickles when it’s excited and scared and sensitive. he wanted you to crave the perfect amount of friction and moisture on your clit. he wanted you to crave the smell of his cologne on his flannel, the whisky on his breath, and the hungry look he had in his eyes when he saw your nipples peak underneath your shirt.

“please, sam…” you whined, cheeks beginning to burn with pink.

“nah — not like that, baby,” he spoke. “gonna make you work for it.”

you detested him for that as he climbed off of you, settling against the back of the seat. he shoved his pants and boxers down. you situated yourself into his lap once more, letting out a huff of frustration.

“you’re pissed?” sam quipped with a cocky smile, smacking your ass before swallowing you into a kiss. “good. show me.”

immediately, you forgot how angry you were. how deprived you were. how frustrated with him you were. you grabbed him by the base, and sank down onto him.

sam filled you to the brim. a man of his size and stature would do nothing but. you could feel your walls squeezing him, holding him in place as you struggled to adjust to his size. but sam? the cocky bastard? sam could only stare at you with a knowing smirk on his face, hunger for a challenge brewing in his chest.

“you’re so mean,” you whimpered, rolling your hips down onto him.

“i know, sweetheart,” he spoke. he wrapped one arm around your hips, and used his other hand to push you back in between the front seats. “lay back for me, yeah? trust me — i’ll make it right.”

you threw your hands behind you, holding yourself up by balancing on the console. and when you felt sam thrust inside of you for the first time? oh, fuck… you knew exactly what he meant.

what they don’t tell you in romance novels is that it’s incredibly difficult to find those sweet spots that make you sing. they make it seem so easy to “come undone” with one finger or one thrust, but anyone left unsatisfied knows the truth. you know the truth, and that’s exactly how you got yourself in the back of the impala. but sam? oh, sam… sam was the one they wrote those stories about.

it’s like sam could tell what you were starving for. you needed a man to see everything you were deprived of, and wanted to give it to you tenfold. sam was selfish in the way that he was selfless — he wanted you to see stars. he wanted your cheeks and the back of your neck to blush. he wanted you to whimper. he wanted you messy and beautiful and full of life. but sam wanted all of that for himself.

sam forcibly kept you bent at the angle you were, but he didn’t have to. the head of his cock pistoned into that spot behind your lower stomach, and immediately you recognized that this is what they meant by that special spot inside. his tight grip on your hips forced you take every bit of his strength against the neglected wall that craved sam and all of his talent so, so badly.

“oh my god —“ you whimpered, throwing your head back. “i didn’t — how did you —“

“yeah — that’s right, baby. never had this before, huh?”

“n-nothin’ like this, sam,” you spat through bitten lips, trying not to cry. “it-it feels...”

you tried to keep up with his speed and aggression. you wanted to show him you were good too and that you could make him feel good too, but it was all so much. too much. putty in his fucking hands, you were, and you had never felt so safe nor so good.

“you fuckin’ tease me on every hunt —“ he rasped, taking one hand off of one hip. “flirting with everyone, when i’m right there.” he spat on your clit, making you shiver. “wasting your time, and mine.” his thumb found your clit, making circles. “any of them make you feel like this?”

“never,” you were starting to stutter, words and movements. the pressure building in your womb was building, and building, and building. it was all getting too much. “i should’ve — please —“

he grabbed you by the back of your head then, forcing you upright and close to him. your chest was pressed against him, and warmth spread throughout you once more. you rolled your hips against his like you were chasing him, afraid you would lose him.

“fuck —“ he rasped in your ear.

“sam…” you weeped. “i’m so close. don’t stop — please —“

he grabbed you by the throat then, putting space between your faces. he held you in place and your gaze, scolding you when you tried to drift off with your eyes closed. each thrust combined with the circles he drew was drawing you closer and closer to your demise.

“so fucking worked up, aren’t you?” he spat. “yeah, yeah — i can see it. face all red, and tears? so frustrated.”

you couldn’t do anything besides nod and try to wipe your tears away, forcing back whimpers. something snapped inside you when you saw the dark, feral look in his eyes. he wanted your orgasm as much as you wanted him to give it to you. and when it hit? when it consumed you? when it made you so weak you couldn’t do anything besides lean against him?

all he could do? fucking laugh.

laugh at your demise. laugh at how it overtook you. laugh at how it crashed over you and swallowed you whole. laughed at how it filled you to the brim and then some. but most of all? sam winchester laughed in triumph at the fact that the badass, independent spitfire he knew was coming apart and making a mess in his laugh.

“that’s right, doll —“

“act so tough, and this was all you needed —“

“fuck, you’re so pretty when you cry for me.”

the swell of pride in his chest was felt by both you and him. he was pushing, pulling, nipping, biting, and kissing you every which way. your mind bent each movement of his, completely pliant in his hands as you came undone. your climax — it was so powerful, you fell against him as he chased his own. he bit down on your shoulder as he came, fucking his load into you.

the collapse was felt by both of you. he held you against him as you both came down from your highs, rubbing your back with his thumb. when he sighed in relief against your cheek, leaving a kiss on the still blushed skin… you knew you weren’t the only one satisfied.

————

lmk what u think xoxo

love u sammy <3

[ghostedgwen]

but I knew you | j.potter [part three]

note : Thank you all so much for the love and support on the two previous parts! I am still trying to get back into writing and getting my old style back but it is still a work in progress. Really happy you lots enjoyed them and are asking to even be tagged in the next parts!

warning : more angst but some cute moment as well, Remus is an mvp on this one I love him, mentions of blood and injury, violence, there's a nasty fist fight, a brief moment of a man being a man and some misogyny.

James gets into an accident during a Quidditch game and develop amnesia - he doesn't remember the past 2 and a half years, and he currently has the mentality of fourth-year James. This doesn't bode well for you that your boyfriend of 2 years now currently thinks he's still  in love with Lily.

└——————— - [ 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝚃𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚘𝚛 𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚝 - 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚗 ]. +

It's been weird. Actually, that's an understatement. It has been absolute hell ever since that Quidditch accident, no one knew how to act around either you and James.

By now, the whole school knew and with how the school is quick to absorb gossip like greedy sponges, it was quick to be the topic of every conversation.

Girls would throw pitiful looks your way, and it grated your nerves to receive them. You didn't need their pity, not even one bit.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," you groan into your hands, pressed into your closed eyes. "This fucking sucks."

Remus gives you a tight-lipped smile that might as well be empty. "How about retracing your steps?"

You frown, taking your palms off your face and turning to Remus who began putting his book down.

"I'll talk to him, I'll convince him to practise with you."

"Practise what?"

"Remembering. You should know the core memories you two have made throughout your relationship, just recreate those moments with him," Remus shrugged. "Might work."

"It might not." You shake your head, giving up hope before it could even exist.

Remus makes a face at you. "This is so not you, you're not a quitter, ____."

A pregnant pause.

You heave a sigh. "Okay," you give in. "Bloody hell."

.

You watch as James casually approach you. Same mannerisms and all that but he feels unbelievably strange, you almost didn't recognize him with how he regarded you so casually. Curtly nodding and crossing his arms.

"Moony convinced me to humor this," he huffs. "Where are we off to?"

You bite the inside of your cheek, willing yourself to go through with this despite not wanting to do this. This was the only solution that made somewhat sense, and it was ultimately better than waiting it out while you try to act like the problem did not exist.

You click your tongue. "Where you first fell for me," you answered. "In your own words, of course. A bit cheesy for me, in all honesty."

He chuckles at that and you gesture him to follow you which he did. He walks beside you, not too far but also not close enough. You have to constantly remind yourself that it's not his fault. If he had met your James, he would've been pissed at himself right this very moment.

You didn't mind the distance much and continued your strides to the spot. You both pause, he looks around the empty hall with a frown.

"Sirius said he'd make sure the hall was clear for us." You tell him.

How he made it happen doesn't matter to you, but you had a few guesses. No time to dwell on that when he turned to look at you expectantly. You scan him, before speaking again.

"What do you feel when you look at me?"

"Honestly?" he licks his bottom lip with hesitation. "Nothing."

Wow, ouch. Okay.

You were about to speak again when he continued - "At first, because I really don't know you. . .but the more I look, the longer I stare at you - I have this urge to hold you."

That brought a small smile out of you. "Seems my James is still in there somewhere."

He didn't react to that, pretending he didn't feel a clutch in his heart at that. You shake your head, forcing the smile away and turned to the very spot you two stood on that day. 

"Muggles science did say that love is in the head, not exactly the heart," you tell him with a bitter chuckle. "I guess you don't abide by that law. You still feel for me, despite not knowing me. I just badly need you back."

You can only imagine how much harder this is on him. While it absolutely hurt to be forgotten by your lover, you can empathize with his situation. How confused he must be to be a 14-year-old in the body of a 16-year-old James.

"How does it feel?" You ask him.

"Weird," he answered truthfully. "I feel weird. Like every inch of my body is on fire but it doesn't hurt. Uncomfortably warm."

You cannot even begin to image what that feels like. "I'm sorry, by the way. I have been too focused on the fact you forgot about me to even realize you lost a whole lot more than that."

He blinks. Your voice was comforting, and your words were kind. He still does not know how he pulled away from Lily, but he can see the appeal of why he fell for you. Your words, how you carried yourself and that confidence that oozed out of your every action without trying hard.

"I'm sorry too." was all he said.

You cleared your throat. "This is where I slapped you, by the way." You laugh humourlessly at your own words. "You had the absolute audacity to imply that you'd buy me, what a right git you were."

You look at him and see him blink in confusion, "What's your last memory before waking up in the infirmary?"

He gives you a huff, dropping his shoulder and walking to the wall with a wide open window. He sat there, leaning against the stone wall with his head hanging low. "I remember just returning to Hogwarts, I had asked Li- Evans out again during the welcome dinner, got rejected again - and I went to bed after arm wrestling with Pads."

You followed him, sitting across him while listening attentively. "Then I woke up, and here I am."

A moment of silence passed, you just watched him. You can see the gears turning in his head, a faraway look in his eyes as he gets lost in his thoughts. "It must be extremely hard for you too."

James nod. "It is, because I can see that I'm hurting you - and the lads, but I can't force it out of me. I feel a bit unwanted."

You scoot closer, hesitantly putting a hand on his shoulder. "That's not true, we're all just struggling as well. You don't know it yet, but Sirius - he could never unwant you, you two are basically soulmates and I am the thirdwheel."

"Does something happen? To him?"

You nod when he lifts his head to look at you. "Yes, but that's not until you both are 15."

"When do you come in?"

You smile bitterly. "Today. The second day during our fourth year, I enter the story."

James' jaw dropped. "I remember everything - until exactly the day I meet you?"

You laugh humourlessly, nodding to his words. "What a cruel joke."

.

"How's it been?" Remus asked, settling beside you on the couch. You had a book propped on your lap and was getting lost in the words when he pulled you out and grounded you back to reality. "You've been at it for a week. What timeline are you in now?"

"Just about finishing up fifth year," you answer him casually. "He's compliant, and behaved. Would you believe that? He's behaved, around me."

Remus laughs. "That's good at least, he's willing to try."

"He said he felt unwanted by us," you tell him, watching his jaw drop. "We got too busy minding the fact he forgot."

"Merlin - " Remus runs a hand through his hair. "Bloody hell."

"He's 14, right now and he must feel so scared to be in this familiar - yet strange environment he has ended up in. I didn't wanna tell you, he confided in me but I can see how he's been struggling throughout the week. He needs his brothers too, not just me."

Remus slowly nod along your words. "You're right. We thought to give you some space. Pads is still in shock and Peter is just depressed at this point."

You heave a sigh. "We'll get him back, no worries."

.

"____!" You turn to the voice that called you, you spy a familiar boy clad in black and yellow uniform run up to you. He had on a bright grin as he greeted you, a bookbag hanging off his shoulder. "Glad I finally caught up to you."

You frown at him. "You've been looking for me, McLaggen?" 

"Yes," he nods and gestures to you. "But you've been with Potter this whole week."

You blink in confusion. "Of course I will, he's my boyfriend." You answer him bluntly, but he only shrugged at that with a tilt of his head.

"Whole castle knows by now that he's forgotten 'bout you, I thought you two had broken up."

You felt an eye twitch at that. "Nevermind that, why were you looking for me."

"Was hoping I could ask you to be my study partner, for the upcoming Ancient Runes quiz. You are pretty much a genius at it, wouldn't hurt to be tutored by you."

You cross your arm. He's never once had the courage to approach you before ever since James took an interest in you. He introduced himself so confidently when you transferred and even offered to show you around the castle - that was until James entered the picture and everyone steered clear.

No one wants to mess with the Marauders.

"Why would I do that for you?" You ask, having nothing to gain from his proposal whatsoever. He's demanding you help him study in a subject you excel in without even offering anything in return. 

McLaggen flashes you a bright grin. "I'll treat you on a date on the next Hogsmeade trip."

You scoff at his words. "A date? You think I'd accept tutoring you for a bloody date? I'm taken, in case you forgot."

He laughs. "Your boyfriend doesn't even remember you, babe. I'm your next best bet, he's technically just a little boy right now, yeah? What age is he mentally? 12?"

"He lost two years, he's 14, you dumbass." You corrected him.

He shrugged. "Don't matter now, does it? He's just a little boy right now, you'll do well with a man."

You hold back a laugh at his words. "You think you're a man then?" You step back, providing more space between you and not once did his height intimidate you throughout the exchange as he address you while looking down. "You are a pig. Take your offer elsewhere, you disgust me."

"____-" he grabs your arm as you turn to leave but another voice also called out your name.

"____!" You turn to find James fast approaching, the rest of his gang trailing after him. "What's going on here?"

You tug at your arm and he finally released it. You fix your posture and glare at McLaggen, "We were just talking." you tell him and can see the anger bubbling in him with the expression on his face.

You turn to meet Sirius' eyes and gesture to James, he acted fast, grabbing him by the arm. "Calm down, mate. She said they were just talking."

"Didn't look like talking to me." James spat.

McLaggen stepped back, raising both hands in surrender. "My bad, mate. You don't even remember ____ anymore, the least you could do is let someone else have her."

You felt your jaw drop at his words, talking about you like you were an item to posses and freely give awya - like you had no say in the matter and you couldn't even process a reaction to his vile words when James swung for his face.

His fist colliding with McLaggen's face and he drops to the ground on the impact. He would have jumped on him as well if Sirius didn't pull him back with Remus who were desperately trying to calm him down.

"The fuck?" McLaggen hissed, clutchinng his now bruised cheek in disbelief. "Fuckin' hell!"

You turn to James, and it all happened so fast. The two boys lost grip on him and he slipped out - jumping on McLaggen to throw more punches but this time, the other boy got to react and returned the favor.

The two exchanged blows while the other three boys tried their best to pull them apart, you were only grateful that the halls are empty or this would be another spectacle for the whole castle.

You run to them, figuring that the three boys' attempts were not working - but it was too late. McLaggen pulled something out of the bookbag he carried - an ink bottle? And smacked James right across the head with it.

"Prongs?" Sirius called out to James who dropped after the hit, McLaggen appeared shocked at the result of his actions. He threw away the bottle and scrambled to get up. 

"James!" You called out and dropped to his side, Merlin - he's out. He's breathing but he is out. The hit must have gotten him good. You angrily turn to see McLaggen running away from the scene. You can deal with him later, you turned your focus to the passed out James. "Bloody fuck, not again."

to be continued . . .

part four | masterlist

[favbum]

Kuroo Tetsuro

🏐ྀི haikyuu headcanons

summary: random heacanons

cw: a lil suggestive

tone: headcanons

character list: kuroo tetsuro

.ᐟ doesn’t allow you to style his hair. very articulate when it comes to this area of his appearance. does enjoy a good scalp massage/scratch though (only on wash days).

.ᐟ doesn’t shave his body unless you ask. ofcourse, he doesn’t go all caveman on you but parts like: armpits, legs, mustache (he thinks he looks italian and finds it funny), he leaves alone

⇧“Babe, you think if I curled the mustaches ends and threw in an Italian accent, I’d slide?”

.ᐟ buys you lots and loads of jewelry. loves to see his s/o decked out in only the top-notch, luxury decor.

.ᐟ makes out with you rough. fast and beastly. that’s how he likes it. whether you can keep up or not doesn’t matter; he likes it sloppy too.♡︎ (picture blair and chuck’s hate sex)

.ᐟ if y’all were to have kids: 2 girls. he believes he has the best understanding over girls, women—females in general. but when he meets his two other angels? truly the most humbling experience. world war III whenever they fuss at him for being too “boyish” while playing dolls.

⇧“Honey—sweethearts! Sorry, lemme try again…” clears throat. Cue the most forced— and worst impression of Dijonay Jones ever.

.ᐟ sometimes gives you funny nicknames when he gets tired of the same-old-same-old. pet names like tiger, crazy pants, wildcat (wild kratts inspired)

⇧“Well lookey here… the tiger’s finally descended from their habitat.” he says, apron tightly tied around his neck, shirtless on purpose. It’s late morning now that you finally wake up; an aroma of crispy bacon and peppered eggs in the air.

.ᐟ big gossiper. many don’t know how he gets his information, but i firmly believe that he’s messy asf. not start-fights-between-girls messy but,

⇧“Hey…” he leans closer. “you heard what ___ and ___ did at the scrimmage last week? Yeah! ___ and ___’s still dating ___ as we speak. Crazy, I know.”

⇧and the gossip never has anything to do with him. shares with the entirely wrong people (bokuto for example: big mouth. couldn’t hold water even to save his life).

.ᐟ loves hamilton (?) [ i personally don’t know much about it but… ] he loves it. the storyline, acting, theme; doesn’t miss a beat. (my guess is because all the characters are so messy in that play💀)

.ᐟ he’s never been a slow kid. calls himself a prodigy, always has—ever since he learned the meaning of the word at the ripe age of 7yrs old. is he? …possibly. does he act like one? fuck no. the cocky bastard just doesn’t know when to put down a book sometimes. specially about science related topics.

#slowestuploaderoftheyear i literally have so many headcanon drafts.. and one unfinished fic. (cooked)🫩

divider cred. to @enchanthings

[livelaughloveluffy]

love languages - trafalgar water d. law

a/n: i definitely needed this fic, i've been a bit sad today so writing this cheered me up a bit, hopefully it can do the same for you all as well!! i started a higher dose of sertraline today, so hopefully i level out and feel better soon.

nothing but fluff here 💗

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how he shows love:

acts of service - law is a silent lover. words have never really been his strong suit and he often has a hard time physically conveying his emotions. his silence, however, is not synonymous to lack of effort. law shows up for you physically. he does hundreds of menial little tasks for you (when he found the time to get them done, you'll never know). whether it's pre-packing your lunch, having your meds ready next to water and breakfast when you wake up, drawing you a warm bath, taking care of your laundry and other chores. and he'll never mention it at all, you'll just happen to find these things all done on your own. he'll constantly brush of your thanks and appreciation with a mumble of "it's nothing.. i was already doing it anyways..." but one restless night, you catch him in the act of secretly folding your laundry, a rare sight you savored and committed to memory.

quality time - it doesn't matter if the two of you are together but focused on your own tasks, attention divided from each other, or if you're wrapped up in each other's arms. law truly doesn't mind either way, just knowing that you're close by is more than enough for him. and while the captain of the heart pirates may do his best to act otherwise, he definitely prefers having you a minimum of an arm's length away. of course, law does enjoy actively finding activities for the two of you to partake in together or places to visit and explore, in his opinion, it's all worthless without you to do it with.

how he feels loved:

words of affirmation - as much as it flusters the captain, your small whispers of praise and affection mean the world to him. while law may have a hard time returning the gesture, the way his entire body seems to relax at your words doesn't go unnoticed by you. until finally just the melodious sound of your voice instantly brings him comfort, something that unconsciously conditioned him to unwind. law is the type of man to take every comment to heart, as if he's collecting and saving them in his very being. so your sincere admiration and words of encouragement hold much more power than you'll ever know, fueling him to keep going.

physical touch - despite the limited conversations the two of you have shared about the topic of his rough childhood, it is abundantly clear that law never fully got over a lot of his abandonment issues. he only truly feels safe when your arms are wrapped around him, lips pressing gentle kisses against his forehead as you softly stroke his raven locks. every kiss and hand hold is treasure in his eyes, and if he could freeze time, he'd live in those moments forever. while the crew of the heart pirates may roll their eyes and poke fun at your sickly sweet nothings and other expressions of pda, they will never comment on your physical closeness to the captain. your hands often resting on his thigh whenever the two of you are sitting down, or on the smalls of his back as you two stand together, are acknowledged but never discussed among the crew. though shachi and penguin can often be found with their faces almost turning blue trying to hold back addressing the amount of times you'll walk into meetings, just to stand behind law's chair, resting your chin of the top of his head while you rub his shoulders.

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tags ♡: @dindjarins1ut @twiishaa @chibinasuu @3v37773 @dreamcastgirl99 @acesdiary @suga-tofu @vamphoria @raddelusionaldive @sparkyvibes @chillerkiller @teewon @all-by-myself98 @moonpri @thissaintjessi @sunshineagony

want to join the taglist? click here!!

enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

[vintagetimetarot]

What does your crush think of you? 💭

+ do they like you back? 💓

It’s been a LONG TIME since I’ve made a PAC. I’ve had a lot of challenges this past year, which is why there has been such a lack, I hope I am forgiven. But this is a topic that excites me and something I’m dealing with too, and that I do not see very often. We’ll know from this PAC by the end what your crush thinks of you and the big question, if they like you back or not! I will be honest, so beware. This PAC will be a bit shorter. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t, it’s a general reading. As always, pick a vintage image below using your intuition, don’t overthink it too much. Have fun!

Pile 1:

Your crush has a complicated view of you, but another better way I’d say is balanced as well. They are some parts of you they really love and admire, but do notice some flaws within you. I think their first impression of you may not have been the greatest. They view you as a little too sensitive, and you don’t handle conflict and challenges very well in their eyes. You come off a bit melancholy and nervous in your interactions with one another. I think they know you like them, and the way you present themselves to them makes it clear. Have you and your crush not talked much recently or at all? I’m getting hallway crush or that sort of vibe. I think some things they hear about you are based on other people or in group settings. Despite these flaws, I think they find you to be a very mature person and they know you take things seriously, and would take things seriously in a relationship as well. Your crush seems to think of you sometimes in passing, but not too much. I’m getting that this is still early stages. They sort of wish to know you more, like they want to move on and break the ice with you. They are secretly hoping you get over you shyness more it seems lol. They also find you to be physically attractive, and that you have a very out there and positive personality. I think they’ve only seen one side of you, but they know that there’s much more depth to you and that you can be a very lovely and vibrant person to be around. They also find you to be a high achiever, and think you do a good job and getting things done.

Do they like you back?:

Unfortunately but unsurprisingly, this is a no. Stages are just too early and they don’t know you well enough. They have other options romantically they seem to not want to invest in, and they are happy with where they are. They don’t want to change their romantic situation right now or they are already in a committed relationship. If this isn’t the answer you want, don’t fret too much yet, because there is still a chance to grow this connection because it’s early, at least as a friend.

Pile 2:

You seem to know your crush well already. They may be a longtime friend, or just someone you’ve know for awhile now. They honestly think very highly of you it seems, pile 2. They admire your generosity, kindness, and how well you are in interacting with people. For some of you this person may know or may be close with your family, for some people this person may have a different cultural background than you. I see that they think you are a well rounded person with admirable qualities! They always rely on you for good judgement and you’re a really good role model to them. They find you curious and venturesome, and they enjoy spending time with you, ESPECIALLY when you guys are traveling. They may think about going on trips with you or you have had been on trips with your crush. They think you’re so wise, and that you have so much to offer to this world. You may be very passionate in a certain field you wanna pursue as a career, and they think that it suits you, and they love that passion about you. For some of you they may not vocally express enough appreciation for you, because to them it’s common knowledge you know that you’re great! They can almost like sit in peace with themselves even if they don’t see in years from now like “yeah, they’re gonna go out and cure cancer!” That kind of energy.

Do they like you back?:

They don’t like you back, but they do think so highly of you and deeply appreciate you. They are honored to be in your life. I really get this is especially the case if this is a longtime friend of yours that you happen to be crushing on. They would be really saddened if you guys cut ties with one another or if they ended up upsetting you.

Pile 3:

DAMN, your crush has a lot to say about you Pile 3. First of all, they ADORE being around you. You give them purpose! They feel so giddy and happy around you, you really make them feel like a little kid. Every hangout feels like an adventure with you, and like they are really making some good memories. They notice that you have a strong personality, but they are attracted to that and love that about you. They love that you are a leader, and seem to be well respected by most people they know that know you. This person acts really childish around you. I think they are generally a a reasonable person, but when you “act stupid” or childish they can’t help but find it contagious, but in a happy way. This person seems to be relatively new to your life it seems. They seem to really love you, honestly. They can really see you in their life forever or a very long time. They want to watch you accomplish and take on big tasks. I think you are a very ambitious person, and they love that about you! They also like your friends, and if they met your family they like them too. You just bring such positive energy to the table that it inflicts upon them, and they LOVE IT!

Do they like you back?:

Oh definitely. They REALLY like you, love even. Though you guys are still progressing, they envision a romantic future with you as well, and I think for a good bit, like 60% of you they are probably planning to ask you out or have been thinking about it but have gotten too scared to ask. Things are moving a bit slowly, but they definitely have feelings.

Pile 4:

They love being around you, really. You may be very social around your crush, and that’s where you spend most of your time whether it be school clubs, parties, etc. They find you confident, and even flirtatious. They also find you very physically attractive. If you are a woman or female presenting, they find you so feminine and beautiful, and they love how you style your hair and do your makeup. Overall though regardless of gender they find you very physically attractive, and especially your body, regardless of how it is they love it. Your crush thinks you are easy to get along with, so they have no problem conversing with you. They think you respect their time well, which they deeply appreciate. They seem to offer you cups and pieces of affection here and then. They find you to be so passionate, like you’re a real go getter to this person! They think you’re fierce and confident. You may have a stronger personality, and they like that. You’re overall just very easy to get along with. They just get caught up in your little world together of conversations and hanging out, it’s very charming. They think about you in passing, sometimes they even miss you when you aren’t around. Your presence is just really defining to them.

Do they like you back?:

They do like you back, and actually have strong feelings for you, but the thing is, they don’t know how to manage them that well yet. This person is scared of intimacy, and may let their fears override, so they avoid relationships. They think fondly of you and love you, and miss when you’re around but still right now aren’t ready for this relationship. You need to give this person time to catch their breath and let things unfold naturally.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

No one here asked me, but Sean and I have been together for 20 years, so here's the shit I say when I DO get asked how it keeps working:

Base level, we fucking like each other. I do not buy into the "you can love someone and not like them." Fuck that. Like is what turns into love. If you are regularly thinking, "I don't like this person," the problem is that you don't like that person. Love can't fix that. Because the love you need to hold onto when you have a moment of not-liking someone can't exist if you don't first like someone.

Which brings me to point two: Kill the perfect romantic who lives in your head. You will annoy the fucking shit out of each other. It happens. For so many reasons. Learn how to say, "Honey, I love you, but I can't deal with this right now." And, for the record, the proper response is "Okay. Got it." not turning it into a whole fucking thing. Yes, it's very romantic to not get tired of someone. But it's much more realistic to be able to say, "Honey, please leave me alone for twenty minutes," and it's must healthier for the other person to go, "Oh, okay! Love you!" / "Love you, too."

Accept that sometimes you're gonna need to fight it out. With this caveat: If it's the same fight over and over again, that's a fucking problem. If it's a fight over the same topic, but you're on a different point in the topic, you're probably okay. For example: If I said, "Honey, please hang up your towel to dry so it doesn't grow mold," and Sean never hung it up, so we kept going round about it, that's a problem. But if I said it, and Sean DID hang it up, but it needed to be spread out, then that's a different thing. "Hey, thanks for hanging up your towel; please make sure it's spread out on the rack so it dries properly."

Also, be flexible about things you ask for. We have a general rule that whoever opens the dishwasher the first time after the dishes are cleaned has to empty the whole thing. But also, if Sean's running late the morning after we do dishes, I'm not going to call him and complain he didn't empty the dishwasher when he opened it to get a fork.

Think of all of this like the fridge making a weird noise. Most of the time, the fridge makes a noise you don't even register because that's the fridge noise. But sometimes, the fridge make a new noise and WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. That's how I think of relationship work. Most of the time, it's just work that gets done in the day-to-day shit. But occasionally, something is OFF and needs immediate attention, so you need to stop and pay attention and fix it.

But also, after your fix the problem, you need to be accept that maybe there are new noises that need to be inspected. For example, if Sean said to me, "Hey, I need thirty minutes after work to myself when I get home," this would be a new thing, but yes, okay. I will do my best. And I will. But maybe I forget the rule because I have something I NEED to tell him that isn't actually a NEED, and so I greet him at the door with a monologue, and he lets me monologue, and at the end he says, "Okay, that's interesting. But I would still like my thirty minutes. I will talk to you after I've had that." He's understanding that I'm doing my best and still reinforcing the boundary I agreed to. What I can do in this situation is thank him for listening and give him his time and try not to jump him with information again because he has made it clear twice that he doesn't want that.

The trick about doing your best, respecting boundaries, and loving one another is truly just doing your best because you love each other. I want a good life. I want Sean to have a good life. We want a life together. We will build a good life by being honest, communicative, and kind to one another. I fold laundry for us both not because I think it's my role as the "wife" but because it's a way to get me on my feet for a few minutes. Sean does the cooking because he enjoys it. I generally handle the dishwasher because he cooks. He gets the car to the mechanic to get the oil changed. I take Bean on her second walk when his day runs long. Do I WANT to take her out? Not always. But I've been at home with an office job all day, not driving around the city to do a physical job. Taking her out for her second walk may annoy me, but the payoff is that Sean comes home and is so happy that he doesn't have to do it and thanks me, and that's what makes it worth it. We acknowledge each other when effort occurs. We make each other laugh. We talk through things. We understand the importance of being able to say, "No, I'm not into it, but you like it, so please keep explaining it." and "Honey, I love you, but I can't do this right now."

It's really just understanding that good communication means folding in the idea that good communication includes saying things you might think you shouldn't have to say. Trust me, saying it means cutting down on the bullshit of not having said it. Say awkward shit to each other. Announce you're doing it. "Hey, this is gonna sound awkward, but I need to say it" because the response from the person you love (in every version of love) should be, "I'm listening. Let's go" because it's about mutual support and care and LIKING one another. And all you gotta do is give back what you deserve to get.

[ducksido]

hiii :3 could you write headcanons about dorm leaders with a s/o who's like idia

Riddle Rosehearts

At first, he’s… confused. Your lack of eye contact and mumbled anime references during tea time make him think you’re mocking him.

Once he realizes you’re just very socially awkward, he becomes much more patient.

He lowkey finds your rambling about your favorite games kind of… impressive? You speak fast, you’re passionate, and it’s endearing.

Tries to gently coax you into tea parties to help your social anxiety. He’ll sit beside you like, “It’s alright, you don’t need to speak unless you’re comfortable.”

If you info-dump, he listens with unexpected interest—even if he doesn’t understand half of it.

Will lecture anyone who makes fun of your quirks. “That’s just how they communicate! It’s called a comfort topic—show some respect!”

Leona Kingscholar

You're like… a tiny, nervous house cat. He’s both entertained and bewildered.

He definitely teases you at first. “Oi, you’ve got something to say? Spit it out already.” But secretly finds your stuttering adorable.

The first time you compare him to a JRPG antihero, he rolls his eyes… but doesn’t stop you. “Tch. You nerds are all the same.”

Loves watching you play games while you narrate what’s going on. Will lie on your lap like a lazy lion and listen with half-lidded eyes.

100% spoils you once he realizes you’re touch-starved. “C’mere, shut up and let me nap on you.”

If someone calls you creepy or weird, expect a very calm but threatening “Wanna repeat that to my face?”

Azul Ashengrotto

Immediately relates to your anxious tendencies. Social anxiety besties <3

Loves that you’re not clingy in public. He’s all for quiet quality time in his lounge or study.

Buys you rare merchandise or figures without even being asked. “I came across this limited-edition item and thought you might enjoy it.”

You make him feel less alone—he no longer feels like the only anxious nerd in NRC.

He melts a little when you stim nervously or pace while thinking. “You’re adorable when you're lost in thought…”

Is impressed by your game strategies. “You cleared that dungeon solo? Remind me never to underestimate you again.”

Kalim Al-Asim

HE THINKS YOU’RE THE CUTEST THING ALIVE.

Will listen to you infodump for hours even if he has no idea what you’re talking about. Just nods with stars in his eyes.

Tries to get you out of your shell by inviting you to parties—which you hate at first, but Kalim always makes sure you have a quiet escape plan if needed.

Loves your hoodie + pajama aesthetic. “You're always cozy!! Can I get a hoodie like yours?”

Gives you anime plushies as gifts constantly.

Protective in his own way—if someone makes you feel bad about your hobbies, he goes full golden retriever mode: “What?? That’s so mean!! Your games are awesome!!”

Vil Schoenheit

At first glance? He’s skeptical.

But when he learns your behaviors stem from social anxiety and not apathy, he softens significantly.

Tries to bring out your confidence. “You’re brilliant—stop hiding behind that screen.”

Surprisingly patient when teaching you how to be more comfortable around people… but he’ll also call you out. “No, darling, muttering your rebuttal after the conversation ends doesn’t count as standing up for yourself.”

Slowly helps you care more about self-image, but in a way that still respects your boundaries. Yes, you can still wear oversized sweaters.

Secretly watches anime to understand your references. Will never admit it.

Idia Shroud

You're literally his dream partner. He thinks he downloaded you from a dating sim at first.

The relationship is mostly texting even when you’re in the same room.

You two have the most insane, cryptic conversations that no one else understands. Just obscure memes, gaming references, and dramatic anime monologues.

You both stim together while watching streams. Cuddling under a blanket fort, surrounded by LED lights, is peak intimacy.

If you ever show affection first, he instantly short-circuits.

He is SO possessive in a feral nerd way. “If someone else tries to talk to you, I’ll delete their save file irl.”

Malleus Draconia

Finds your mannerisms absolutely fascinating. Like an ancient dragon trying to understand modern introverts.

He likes that you’re not intimidated by him—just by… everything else.

If you nervously mutter anime lines, he’ll try to learn them. “...Was that a chant? Is this a courtship ritual in your realm?”

He’s incredibly patient with your social anxiety. Actually prefers the quiet comfort of your presence over noisy events.

You bring him handheld games and slowly get him into gacha culture. He’s way too good at pulling 5-stars.

If anyone mocks your interests, he stares them down until they cry. “You shall not speak so freely of what you do not understand.”