#to be clear i'm not in an immediate crisis right now i just don't like the idea of other ppl being able to dictate me in such strong ways

[starry-nights-garden]

Ateez Reaction ✧ Finding out their s/o has self harm scars

✧ Ateez all members x gn!reader ✧ genre: reaction, comfort ✧ warnings: mentions of self harm/self harm scars

Author's note: I've been wanting to write something like this for a long time and always hesitated to do it because I was afraid of any unkind reactions. However, I figured that we all deserve to feel neutral and okay about our scars, so I hope that this can be a comfort to some <3

Hongjoong:

when he first happens to catch a glimpse of your scars on accident he's pretty sure that they're self harm scars

but he'll keep quiet about them, aware that he probably wasn't meant to see them, and in no way does he want to pressure you into talking about something you're not ready to

however he does make sure to drop a "you know you can tell me anything" as soon as he gets the chance for it

once you do decide to tell him though, he'll try his best to just listen and to make it clear that he would never ever judge you for something like this

won't ask too many questions so as not to overwhelm you - instead he'll convey to you that you can always come talk to him about this if you want to

definitely the type to caress and kiss your scars a lot (if you're okay with that), in order to make you feel that you don't need to be ashamed of them or hide them

he will do a lot of research on the topic as well, and will try to find ways to help spread awareness and destigmatize self harm scars

Seonghwa:

when you open up to him about your self harm scars he can't hide the shock that creeps onto his face

words aren't enough to describe just how worried he is, and even before figuring out how he should react, he'll be reaching out for your hands to wrap them tightly into his

it'll take him a while to process what you just told him, but he'll find the right words eventually

"I'm here for you if you need me. Always. Okay?"

thankful for his sincere words, you just nod, and as you're tearing up because he didn't react badly and you can feel just how much you can trust him, tears well up in his eyes as well

attempting to hide them, he offers you a warm hug instead, wanting nothing more than to make you feel protected

after that, you feel like he'll prioritize your wellbeing even more, doing his best to always be there for you and to support you in whatever way possible

he will also take having deep conversations about your feelings even more serious now, and at time where you're feeling down he will become very protective of you and pamper you as much as he can!

Yunho:

he's not sure how to react when you confess to him that you have self harm scars

you can see that he's internally panicking, because whatever he imagined this conversation was going to be about, he would've never considered this option

"A-are you okay?" - the question just bursts out of him as it's the first thing that came to mind, and it's so blunt that it almost makes you chuckle a bit

you assure him that you're okay currently, and he lets out a massive sigh of relief

but as he starts thinking about it some more, he comes to realize that he actually has a lot of questions

he desperately wants to understand your reasons and how you feel about your scars now, etcetc, so he starts carefully asking you about everything that's on his mind

tries his best to understand you as you start explaining, and if you hesitate on a question he'll immediately tell you that you don't have to give him an answer if you feel uncomfortable

talking to you about it definitely makes him feel relieved, and he also won't hesitate to ask about how to help you in a time of crisis, and how to best support you should the urge to hurt yourself return

Yeosang:

he doesn't want to pressure you to talk about them when he first sees your scars, and he's really good at pretending he doesn't know about them, but in a way that also makes it a bit harder for you to finally talk to him about them

and yet when you do manage to tell him, he's still as shocked as if he hadn't already known about them

he doesn't know how to react, so after some consideration he simply asks you how you feel about them

he really wants to know how comfortable you are talking about them, showing them, etcetc, so that he can react more appropriately

will make sure to match your energy on this - if you're uncomfortable he'll go slow and offer that you can talk about them whenever you want to, while also assuring you that you don't have to; if you're comfortable he'll let himself be a bit more curious

either way he will trust you on what you tell him, and when you assure him that he doesn't have to worry he will believe you

instead, he'll offer an open ear whenever you need it, and he will prove to you that it was the right decision to open up to him about it

San:

fears the worst when he catches a glimpse of your scars one day, but tells himself he shouldn't ask about them and instead wait until you're ready to talk about them yourself

but of course this guy will be worried sick within only a few days, until he ends up very carefully asking you about them

and when you confirm his assumption about your scars, he becomes so worried and at the same time so sad that you had to go through such pain that you would resort to hurting yourself

will approach you very slowly, and then cup your face in his hands to get a good look at you, and you swear nobody has ever looked at you with such pure and deep love in their eyes

"If there's anything I can do to make it better... please tell me. I'll do anything."

you nod, and you let him pull you into a loving kiss that he doesn't seem to want to break as his lips linger on yours

aside from the initial shock, he deals with it quite well, but he definitely becomes more protective of you from then on

makes sure to check in with you whenever you seem down or stressed, and reminds you to take care of yourself just as much as he offers to be there for you whenever you need him

if you're okay with it, he will make a habit of tracing your scars mindlessly, while whispering promises about how he'll do whatever he can so that you would never have to feel this bad ever again

Mingi:

the first time he sees your scars he won't know how to react immediately

however, he's sensible enough to figure that he should try to stay calm first of all

but he also knows that if he doesn't ask about them, he will probably lie awake at night, unable to stop worrying about you

and so he somewhat awkwardly asks what those scars are, and when you give him an honest answer he'll be both relieved and shocked

relieved because it means you trust him a lot, and shocked because now he's wondering what kind of pain you must've gone through to make you hurt yourself

this guy immediately offers you open arms in case you want a hug, and when you accept the embrace he'll tell you that whenever you're having a hard time, he'll be there to protect you

doesn't ask any questions and won't make you talk about it, but from then on you notice him checking up on how you're feeling just a bit more frequently, and he makes sure to make you feel that you always have someone to lean on with him, even during difficult conversations

over time he will definitely start giving your scars a lot of attention, especially when you’re cuddling, tracing them with his fingers and kissing them, while repeatedly whispering to you how much he loves you

Wooyoung:

his first thought when he sees your scars isn't that you caused them yourself, but rather that someone else hurt you

so he's understandably upset, and will immediately reach out for you, asking about who did this to you

until it dawns on him that something's not quite right, because now you're staring at him in shock, and eventually you manage to whisper a "me"

he lets go of you and apologizes for reacting like he did, and you can undoubtedly see how he's calming himself down in order to reassess the situation properly

"Do you... want to talk about it?" - he eventually figures he should just ask, and let you decide what to do with this situation

will listen intently in case you say yes, and when you explain to him why you hurt yourself he will make you promise to come talk to him instead, should you ever feel the urge again

gives you kisses and headpats and hugs and anything else you might want after you make the promise, and when he brings you in for a tight hug he'll whisper a thank you for trusting him enough to tell him about it

Jongho:

he won't make it obvious, but by the time you tell him about your scars, he already has a good guess about what they are, based on the few glimpses he's caught of them so far

will control his reaction to your confession very well, so as not to make you worry about his feelings and to focus on you

acknowledges what you choose to tell him about it, and will listen to what you have to say rather than asking questions about it

"You know if there's something you want to talk about, you can always tell me." - will assure you of that while brushing a thumb against your cheek

however, it will soon become obvious that he's more worried than he initially allowed himself to show, because now he refuses to leave your side if you're not feeling well, and somehow you feel like he's more reluctant to let you go when he hugs you

as you talk more about it, he'll trust that you will come talk to him before doing anything stupid, but still he'll stay at least a little protective of you and offer to help distract you in case you feel the need to hurt yourself again

he too is the type who will find himself touching your scars every now and then (if you give him the okay), kissing them or tracing them with his fingertips in hopes that one day you would associate them with something positive as well

[steddieas-shegoes]

can't catch me

for @corrodedcoffinfest warm up round prompt 'on the run'

rated t | 666 words 😈 | cw: language | tags: grown adults being ridiculous and getting into situations, that's it that's all any of these will be

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

Being late was allowed.

Being so late the venue considered canceling the show altogether was not.

"I don't fucking understand," Eddie was pacing the floor of the back office of the hotel, ignoring the screams coming from the lobby. "Security was supposed to be posted the entire time we were here."

"They were! We had someone at the back exit, someone at the emergency exit, and someone at the main entrance. But one of the guests was apparently a fan and spread the word and things got out of hand quickly," the hotel manager stated as calmly as possible.

"And now we're stuck here."

"We're doing our best to work with the local authorities to clear the lobby so you can make a safe exit."

"And how are we supposed to explain this to the arena?" Jeff asked when Eddie sat down on the floor in the corner of the room, head sinking into his hands. "This is our first show of the tour. Our manager is gonna lose his shit."

"Your manager has been contacted and made aware of the situation."

"And how did he take it?" Gareth asked, smirking at the thought of Steve losing his shit on this hotel manager.

"He threatened to get me fired."

"Sounds like him," Jeff said before joining Eddie on the floor.

They were a lot alike when it was crisis time and right now was just about the worst crisis that could happen.

"We could just run for it?" Frankie suggested.

"We aren't even making it out of this room, man," Gareth sighed, falling into the desk chair next to him. "We're stuck."

"There is no fucking way I'm missing our first headlining show." Eddie stood up and looked at them. "You're gonna pull the fire alarm and we're gonna run to the bus."

The hotel manager held her hands up, silently begging them to stop. But Eddie had already riled them up, already made the plan, set it in motion.

"Sir, I cannot allow-"

"You can allow it, actually. You allowed security to fail so now we're gonna do what we can to not let our actual fans down," Jeff argued.

He walked over to the lever on the wall and tugged it down.

The alarm rang out immediately, and the lights in the corner of the ceilings flashed.

"Run!" He yelled to the guys, who were quick to pull open the door and rush out to the lobby.

It was still chaos, but now there was confusion as well. It looked like everyone was struggling to figure out if they needed to run out of the building because of a fire or risk it to catch a glimpse of the band.

They didn't stay to pay much attention.

Eddie and Frankie were already nearly to the front door, and Jeff and Gareth had managed to slip down the hall to the back exit. They'd meet at the bus and be on their way, only an hour and a half behind schedule.

Their opener would be taking the stage any minute.

When they all managed to get on the bus, they all collapsed on the floor.

Eddie's shirt was now torn in two places, Jeff's jacket was missing, and somehow Frankie's cheek had a lipstick print on it.

Gareth seemed unscathed.

They made it to the venue just as the openers were wrapping up the last song.

Steve was standing at the door, hands on his hips.

"It'll be fine if we just stay at a hotel! Better than the bus. We won't have to worry about being late because it's right down the road!" Steve rolled his eyes. "You have 15 minutes to be show ready. No hotels without me vetting them next time."

They all saluted him as they rushed past him.

He shook his head and turned to Robin and one of the people in charge of the security at the venue.

"This is why they aren't allowed to make their own accommodations."

[psink]

Gothic - Rifuta Imu 2/2

[part 1]

Rifuta Imu: The elegantly embroidered lace, the black pannier that highlights her slender legs, and punkish leather accessories that aren't too harsh.

Rifuta Imu: Sigh~...Love...Is this love?

Saiki Kusuo: I don't know.

Rifuta Imu: This is partially your fault Saiki-senpai, you know?

Saiki Kusuo: Huh?

Rifuta Imu: Kokomi-senpai isn't paying attention to me at all and it's making me want to pursue her a little...

Rifuta Imu: It's all because of this painful love triangle situation!

Saiki Kusuo: That's why I don't know.

Rifuta Imu: If you feel responsible, please introduce me to a wonderful guy.

Rifuta Imu: Introduce me to a super wonderful handsome guy who can erase Kokomi-senpai from my heart! Rifuta Imu: Someone kind, dependable, who will forgive a little selfishness, a super wonderful guy with great generosity...

Saiki Kusuo: I know just the right one.

Takahashi: What...You've got something to say to me...Eh!? You!? W-W-What is it!?

Rifuta Imu: Urghh, heeeey! Are you blind!? A handsome guy! Ha-nd-so-me!!

Rifuta Imu: Were you listening!? Please search seriously!!

Rifuta Imu: Not a gloomy mob character who's like someone you can find anywhere!

Saiki Kusuo: That's rude. Everyone loves Takahashi-san.

Rifuta Imu: is that okay!?

Rifuta Imu: Someone strong in fights, dependable, with a manly style.

Rifuta Imu: With a face a little on the wide side, like with a half-Japanese look.

Rifuta Imu: But his personality is super kind. In time of crisis, he'd protect me first.

Rifuta Imu: With a sexy duck face and a hairstyle that's not too long, not too short, styled in a trendy, loose and fluffy perm that lets you play with the hair ends.

Takahashi: ......

Rifuta Imu: That's not it!! Seriously, that's wrong!! That's not loose and fluffy, it's broccoli head! That isn't a duck mouth, it's a lip monster!!

Rifuta Imu: Geez...Saiki-senpai, you've got 0% sense.

Saiki Kuusuke: Hey, looks like you're having fun.

Saiki Kusuo: What are you doing, idiot big brother?

Rifuta Imu: Huh....Oh...Big brother!? (I knew it! A once-in-a-lifetime handsome guy has appeared!!)

Saiki Kusuo: Don't just casually show up. Now things are even more complicated. Make a U-turn and leave immediately.

Saiki Kuusuke: It's rare to see you in a place like this, Kusuo~ Did something fun happen?

Saiki Kusuo: No, nothing. You should go enjoy a tea party with this goth girl in the English garden. Saiki Kusuo: I'll be over there eating super sweet sweets, and playing some VR fighting game in my room...

Saiki Kuusuke: That's not happening. Anyway, this bitch probably made unreasonable demands to introduce her to a handsome guy, so you're planning to set me up, right♪?

Saiki Kusuo: That phrasing.

Saiki Kuusuke: That aside, Kusuo...How about a competition with me in that huge English garden maze over there?

Saiki Kusuo: I refuse. Saiki Kusuo: When I'm around you, nothing good ever comes of it. So could you move away a bit? Or rather, just disappear.

Saiki Kuusuke: Don't say such things~ I've hidden a king macaron in that garden maze, let's go♪

Saiki Kusuo: I can clear a huge maze in seconds. Saiki Kusuo: You're inviting me despite knowing that, right?

Saiki Kuusuke: Just once in your life, try believing in your kind older brother♪

Saiki Kusuo: How many lives do you think you have...

Rifuta Imu: Wha...What was that... So he's just a psychopath brocon with deceptive appearance, huh?

Rifuta Imu: I just... It's just that I thought he looked a little cool.

Rifuta Imu: I have Kokomi-senpai! Kokomi-senpai~~~~♪♪

END

[coraniaid]

how about an AU where cordelia stayed in sunnydale?

Oh, that's interesting.

I think that, in reality, if Cordelia hadn't left for Angel, she'd probably have ended up occupying a pretty similar place in the rest of Buffy to the role Anya ends up taking. Maybe not exactly the same one (I don't know if the writers would have had her and Xander get back together, for example, and obviously Cordelia isn't a former vengeance demon), but close enough that I'm not even sure that they'd have made Anya a permanenent member of the cast.

But, ignoring that, and taking Anya's ongoing presence in Sunnydale as given...

I think something has to happen to make Cordelia stay in Sunnydale, right? It's clear from Season 3 that she doesn't want to (see, for example, her reaction to finding out that Buffy got into Northwestern: "great! now you can leave and never come back! [I mean] get out of Sunnydale: that's a good thing"). I guess maybe the lazy option is just to have her trying to save up money to get into drama school somewhere? We already see her working at April Fools in Season 3, maybe she can keep doing that. Or maybe -- remembering Cordelia's role as Buffy's shadow -- her parents split up because of her father's tax issues and she ends up feeling she has to stay in town to help look after her mom? Or maybe put those two ideas together: Buffy's surprised to see that Cordelia's still in town, Cordelia tries as nonchalantly as possible to pretend she's still around for her own reasons and then we learn that she's putting her own ambitions on hold because she has to help her mom look for a new place to stay. And maybe that gives us a chance to explore some of the class issue stuff that Buffy as a show always skirts around but never really touches (how does Cordelia feel about now being in a position more like Xander than Buffy or Willow?).

I've complained about this before (more than once), but I think Cordelia being in Sunnydale is a great excuse to change how the gang react to finding out that Harmony is a vampire. I mean, say what you want about the show's approach to vampire lore, but it's pretty jarring how quickly everyone reacts to finding out that their former classmate died helping fight the Mayor and his minions in the same dismissive "haha, Harmony's always been an idiot" way; as if Harmony had 'decided' to become a vampire in a slightly embarrasing post-school life choice. It feels more in character for Buffy, Giles and Xander to argue that Harmony is dead and That Thing Is Not Her while Cordelia (just as in Disharmony over on Angel a season later) says "no, this is definitely Harmony, she's my friend". (Willow can still react in the same way as canon, sure; it's not out of character for her to dislike Harmony.) And I think it would help the maybe-demons-aren't-all-bad approach that the show obviously wants to go for if Harmony and Cordelia actually were friends this season. Like, Harmony herself still absolutely is evil and will hang around trying to feed on people heading home late from work in the dark -- but when she recognizes her intended victim is Cordelia she immediately drops the vamp face and they cheerfully walk back to Cordelia's place chatting about high school and how much they agree Xander sucks.

I think Cordelia would also help to push Giles out of his mid-life crisis a bit earlier than he manages in canon. Partly in the same way she does for Angel in his show. Sure, she can't fix everything going wrong in her own life but she can stop Giles sitting around feeling sorry for himself in his large house [much larger than some people's houses, she'll point out] and maybe push himself into finding an actual job more quickly. I think that would set up some tension with Anya later (when she gets a job at the shop Giles opens, a little ahead of canon) which I think would be nice to see. (I also think it would be fun to see Anya interact with Cordelia more generally, the way they did in The Wish when Anya was first pretending to be human. They are both pretty blunt speakers, after all, who both see themselves as being outside of the core Scooby Group, and it would be fun to see them commenting on things together. Or to imagine Cordelia's puzzled/disgusted reaction whenever Anya starts talking about how great Xander is and how much she enjoys having sex with him.)

Once we get to Season 5, I'd love to see how Dawn and Cordelia interact. As I think I've said before, I think they'd get on really well (and that this would annoy Buffy a lot). Dawn looks up to Cordelia as somebody a lot like her own sister before she became a Slayer (but infinitely superior because she isn't actually her sister), while Cordelia loves having somebody tell her how great she is and tells Dawn how much cooler she is than Buffy (and not entirely just to annoy Buffy). I think Cordelia might even replace Willow in some contexts (in particular, I think it parallels Cordelia instantly agreeing to drive Buffy home in Helpless if Dawn demands to stay at Cordelia's after Joyce's funeral and Cordelia instantly accepts even though we've already established she doesn't want anyone she knows seeing the reduced circumstances she's living in). Cordelia never interacts with Joyce in canon as much as Buffy's other shadow selves do, but she does seem to admire her [in their very limited exchanges]. Actually, maybe at some point in Season 4 Cordelia quits her retail job to go and work for Joyce at the art gallery? I mean, if Season 4 is (in part) about Buffy losing touch with her mother as she moves away from home, what better way to represent that than by having the character who represents Buffy's younger, pre-Slayer self start spending more time with her?

When Riley delivers his stupid ultimatum to Buffy in Into The Woods, Xander would still give his ridiculous speech to Buffy about how great Riley is and how this is all Buffy's fault, but Cordelia (who, it turns out, has views of her own on what to do when your boyfriend cheats on you and expects you to forgive him and take him back and indeed about whether you should take Xander Harris seriously about anything) would interupt and point out just how bizarre what Xander was saying was (and probably be the catalyst for him to realize that what he's saying applies far more to his own relationship with Anya). We cut to Riley waiting by his helicopter ready to go and pacify Central America for Christian missionaries [or whatever] when a female figure emerges from the woods ... Riley looks up, hopeful, but it's not Buffy. It's Cordelia ["what," she says, paraphrasing Gunn; "you were expecting somebody else?"]. Cordelia gets to give Riley a piece of her mind and tell him how great Buffy is [something she'd never tell Buffy, of course] and how badly Riley messed things up, and then she cheerfully waves him off as he leaves Sunnydale forever. [And, okay, yes, Buffy will still be upset about their relationship ending and she will still blame herself later when the topic comes up -- that's just who she is and how she approaches all of her romantic relationships. But at least we don't have to humor Joss Whedon's ego by pretending that she was right to do this and that her relationship with Riley was actually great all along.]

[gtsdreamer2]

You had finally made it. This was your big break. Your whole life's work was in front of you, on a wheel cart, all covered up by a tarp and ready to present. You had finally worked you way onto Shark Tank. It was time to present your offer to the four judges.

   As you wheeled your cart out in front of them, you could feel all four sets of eyes on you. Three male judges, all top investors and smart businessmen in their own right, and the single female, Ms. Nikki. You followed her on various social platforms and were pretty in-the-know about her day-to-day. She wasn't very intimidating to look at in person, that was for sure. Five foot nothing with a flat chest and features that didn't immediately captivate. She wore big fancy clothing and platform heels to cover for her deficiencies in her stature and bust, but you weren't here to care about that. She was your best shot at getting an offer.

   "Lady and gentlemen," you started, pulling off the tarp with a flourish. "I come before you with a simple question. If you were given the opportunity to solve world hunger, would you?" All four judges leaned forward in their chairs to try to get a better look at the spread on the wheel cart before them. You had laid out various fruits and vegetables of unimaginable sizes as well as a small terarrium with a normal looking strawberry plant. There was a whiteboard with some diagrams and a couple vials of white shimmery liquid.

   "I come before you today to tell you that this question has already been solved. I have in front of you, right here and now, a way to end world hunger." Ms. Nikki's eyebrow went up, she was skeptical to be sure. Her whole social media presence was about helping to end the food crisis in developing countries and it looked to you like she was already hooked on what you might have to show her.

   "Take a look at these." you said, hefting a five pound strawberry in each hand. "Imagine walking down the street and seeing houses with front lawns filled with these giant fruits. Each of these are enought to feed a family two servings of friut a day for a whole week. Now what If I told you there was thirty on this vine and that they went from seed to harvest in only four weeks?

   "I'd say you're full of it and trying to sell me something," said one of the male judges, to which the other two male judges laughed. Ms. Nikki never took her eyes off you. She raised her hand, silencing her peers. "I'd say, one, how do you do it, two, is it cost effective, and three, is it safe?"

   "Smart woman!" you retorted, Trying to build a rapport with your best chance at landing a deal. "I'm not going to tell you to take a bite of these giant, delicious, and nutritionally fortified strawberries of course. There is a lot of science behind them and you all don't even know me. I WILL however demonstrate what I've done to them. Here." You carefully picked four strawberries from the live vine and approached the judges. "These are everyday ordinary strawberries. Organic. No pesticides, no GMOs. You handed each judge a berry and they all partook.

   "It tastes like a normal strawberry, big deal." Scoffed another male judge. "Well, not yet, but they're about to be a big deal," You joked back, to zero laughter. You cleared your throat. "Anyway, the difference between the big fruit I just held in my hand and the normal ones you just held in yours is this:" You hoisted one of the vials of shimmery liquid in front of them. "Allow me to demonstrate." You carefully poured liquid over the plants vines, making sure to douse the soil where the roots were thickest. In less than twenty seconds, the soil and vines had greedily sucked up every drop of liquid and the plant began to pulse larger. After about another minute, the fruit had doubled and then doubled again in size. All four judges' eyes looked ready to pop out of their heads. 'I've got em right where I want them.' You thought to yourself.

   The third male judge cleared his throat to quiet the clamoring if his cohosts. "Alright. That's cool. I think you've got something really special here. What were you looking for with this? Why have you come to us?" This was the part you were worried about.

   "Well, your judgeship, I have the formulas and the knowhow for making this all happen, what I lack is the capitol and the facilities." You needed to be up front about your needs or they never were going to play along.

   "My thing is, we're here to make money, not give handouts to the poor." The first judge said. "I get that its a great thing you're showing us, but I don't see dollar signs. I see a big money pit and no ROI. This whole thing seems like Nikki's cup of tea. Finally it was her turn to speak.

   "My fellow investors here are all about dollars and percentages and playing it safe. I think what you've got here is definitely worth investing in. What would you need to...for instance..." She pondered numbers and scale and time. "Begin feeding the entire population of Texas in the next three months?" It sounded like you were so close to a deal at this point, but you didn't want to scare her off.

   "I would seek an initial investment of ten million to start. That would cover seed and farmland, schematics to build the machine that creates the formula at a rate that could keep up with crop demand, and labor for the equipment and hands to farm the land." Your palms were beginning to sweat now.

   "I'll tell you what." She began, eying you like you were prey caught in her trap. "You need me, so I'll give you a counter offer: "I'll give you the ten million. And you can convert two of my Texas facilities. I want controlling stake of your business. I want 75%. You're doing this to end world hunger? I'll bankroll you, and you'll look like a Saint, and I'll be running the show, which I'm very good at, by the way. It's a very good deal. These three next to me want nothing to do with it. Oh, and by the way, I'll need one of those vials to take to my scientists to test it for safety first. I'll put a clause in the contract about dissolving this whole thing if all you can do is make giant poison fruit."

   You contemplated her offer. You'd lose any control you might have had over the whole operation. But Nikki was good at handling business. You had a duty to the world to spread this miracle. "Ms. Nikki. You've got a deal."

   The contract was quickly drawn up by Ms. Nikki's personal lawyer. Just as she had stated, 75% stake, her taking one of the remaining two vials for health testing, use of her land and various facilities, repurposed from one of her lines of beauty products or something. The whole thing seemed sound. You signed it and the deal was struck.

   Two months had passed since then, and operations were finally ramping up now. You hadn't had the opportunity to meet with your benefactor face-to-face since signing the contract, but you had spoken to her several times on the phone, each time she seemed more impatient than the last to get a tour of the facility once production had started. Today was that day. Her driver pulled into the mostly empty lot and he got out to open the door for her. She excitedly walked right up to you to give you a firm handshake and beaming smile. You were so nervous and anxious that you didn't realize that she was wearing a bigger coat than normal and was missing her signature platform shoes. Still she stood at the same height as your last meeting.

   "You have no idea how excited I am to witness the fruits of our labor! Pun intended of course." she laughed to herself and you laughed along side her as a gesture of good will.

   "It's all right through these doors!" You held the door for her and gestured her inside.  She quickly strode past the foyer and into the back, where all the magic was happening. Her eyes adjusted to the lighting, and she took in the entire facility. Boxes of seeds, premium mulch, various areas to test the effectiveness of the current batch of shimmery liquid. And then she saw it: the synthesizing of the miracle liquid. It was pouring out of a spout at a rhythmic rate and filling the same vials that you had used in the demonstration. They were being neatly packaged into crates that would be shipped to her farmland around the state, as per the contract.

   Ms. Nikki walked right over to crates, eyeing them carefully. "Production is going very smoothly Ms. There haven't been any hiccups." You told her boastfully. She carefully picked up a vial, holding it up to the fluorescent lights and watching it shimmer back and forth.

"And the effectiveness? Is it just as powerful as the first batch you used in your demonstration? I wouldn't want you to fall short of our goals, of course."

   "It's the very same formula, I can promise you that. And we have more than enough to meet our goal thanks to your premium factories here." You were watching the vials fill and feeling elated that your dreams were on the verge of being realized.

   "That's all I needed to hear." She said with a grin that startled you. "Let's test just how effective it is, shall we?"

   "Well, we don't have any sprouted plants here, but I could run out and-" before you could even finish your sentence, Ms. Nikki took the vial and tipped it against her lips, swallowing the whole thing with one gulp. You were flabbergasted. "Why would you do that?!" You shouted at her, suddenly losing your composure. You watched her whole body shudder as she released a sudden, powerful, erotic moan. She ran her hands up and down her body as you watched her pulse and grow three inches in height. She discarded her massive coat in a flourish revealing a pair of breasts that she definitely didn't use to have. You were suddenly speechless.

   "This is why!" she boomed, gesturing to her whole body. She was now almost as tall as you with what seemed to be at least D cup breasts hanging off her. "God, I missed that feeling. What a rush! Do you know how long I've been waiting for this? How far I've searched for something like this? Something that can do this to me? You think I've been traipsing all across the globe, doing charity work, helping the poors, just for fun? No. I think not. All this time I've been chasing rumors. Legends and myths of artifacts and fountains of youth and this and that and nothing prepared me for you walking through my door and HANDING it to me!" She picked up another vial and downed it, shivering and pulsing larger again.

   "I don't think you're thinking clearly Ms. Nikki. Those aren't meant to be consumed until they've been synthesized within the plants and-" she cut you off then.

   "Do you really think that I took home that vial just to display it in my office? Do you know how many world class scientists that I had study it since we last spoke two months ago? Fuck, the second that it was given the 'all clear' I drank it so fast." Ms. Nikki touched her lips as if reliving the first sensation all over again. "I've been so so very patient waiting for you to build all of this for me." She grabbed another four vials and inhaled them. "Mmmph!" She moaned out as she grew another two feet, ripping through all but her soaked panties. She threw the empty vials, shattering them against the far wall as she discarded her tattered clothes. She was now towering above you at eight feet tall and on full display. As if rediscovering her body for the first time, her curious fingers explored every inch of her impressive frame. She hefted her now heavy tits and tugged and tweaked her hard, sensitive nipples. She moved her hand to her wet mound and gave it a good rub, as if consoling her panties for hanging on.

   "Where was I?" She began again, trying to regain her train of thought. "Oh yes, I wanted you thank you again for helping me to achieve...this." She hoisted her tits again, cradling their mass in her arms for you to witness. "Money, status, influence, those can get a girl pretty far, but this!" She flexed her muscles and flashed a dazzling, satisfied smile. "This is real power!" Slowly you regained your ability to speak.

   "But you said...we were supposed to use all this to help the world. That was my dream. You can't do this! This is my life's work!"

   She let out a horrid cackle, completely invalidating your passionate protest while starting to drink vial after vial, case after case. "No darling. I'm your life's work now. All of this is mine. It's in the contract. The formula, the facilities, the production, mmmph, all of it. You're going to keep producing this wonderful formula, and I'm going to keep growing! It'll be wonderful!" As she began to grow faster and faster, her panties finally gave up the fight and tore away from her. She pushed herself through the truck bay of the facility and into the open air. "Don't worry though, you said there was plenty to go around! I'll let you grow as much food as you like!" You slightly perked up at the notion of still getting to fulfill your dream. She stood up to her full height of forty feet and stretched as another growth surge moved through her. "After all..." She continued, "A growing girl like me has a big appetite. I'm going to need all the food you can grow." She planted her massive ass back on the ground now, leaning back and spreading her legs before setting two fingers to work on herself. Her growth seemed to accelerate as she pleasured herself. The empty vials clattered and clicked against one another, waiting to be filled for her as her first of many orgasms shook the very earth. 'Fuck that's hot.' You thought to yourself, pushing the last remnants of your goals to end world hunger out of your mind.

[raayllum]

The Celestial Elves & Aaravos' Plans

Going into s6, there's been two big questions at the forefront of my mind: what can we expect from the Celestial elves, and what exactly is Aaravos' plan?

I've speculated briefly on the former, so I want to clarify further what I mean when I say the latter.

Aaravos' plans, seemingly, have at least two pretty clear steps, if you will:

To be freed from his pearl prison

To get revenge on the Startouch elves for his banishment / some other wound

This was as much spelled out to us in TDP's short story, Patience, before S4's release:

I have not seen the stars in centuries. But when I see them again—when the stars are forced to look upon me, their dark brother—they will know how I have waited. And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky. For I have been patient.

I don't think Aaravos has much of a plan beyond revenge, as the Cycle is thematically and literally unsustainable in comparison to rebuilding and the Narrative of Love. What would be left for him, after all, besides seeing his 'family' (and Xadia) suffer further for what they've done to him? And I'm not here to say that there's a secret third step or anything (though there might be).

What I want to talk about is Aaravos' Plan timeline in regards to getting what he wants.

We know that around 1,000 years ago, humans were exiled from Xadia for dark magic use. It isn't clear if Aaravos was banished before or after this event, but given that Ziard saying "one of the Great Ones" doesn't seem to immediately give away Aaravos' identity, there seem to have been a few still kicking around, although this contradicts the Midnight Star poem, which clearly indicates the Stars leaving ("Elarion, unworthy whelp, / Wept as the stars turned black the sky, / They donned their masks / They turned their backs, / And left Elarion to die") and then humans receiving dark magic ("‘till the last star / Reached from afar / His touch: a blaze, a gift, a spark / [...] Elarion, black-eyed child, / her twisted roots spread deep and far, / The humans’ might").

It is possible, of course, that the Startouch elves could've left but hadn't actually expelled / cut contact with Aaravos directly, but that gets even dicier timeline wise.

Either way, to stay on topic: there's roughly a 700-1000 years, if not more, between Aaravos' banishment from the First Elves and achieving his final aims (which we'll likely see the beginning of in late S6).

Why?

Why does this period of time in between Banishment and Revenge exist? If Aaravos is so powerful...

Even after [Zubeia] and Avizandum allied ourselves with the other Archdragons, we could not risk a direct confrontation. We had to beat Aaravos as his own game. [...] We had to conspire and plot, and deceive this deceiver so that at the exact right moment, he would lower his guard, and we could imprison him forever.

then what could've possibly existed that he couldn't just take outright? Why even make nice with the Archdragons at all, and not stay focused on using his human mages in the west? And what, why, was he using them in the first place pre-imprisonment?

A young human girl uncovered a great secret of history. A dangerous deceiver was revealed: it was one of the Great Ones, the Startouch elf, Aaravos. For a thousand years, Aaravos had been pulling invisible strings like a puppet master. Every great crisis the world faced had seemed the work of some ingenious and powerful leader, but in each case, it was secretly Aaravos, whispering in their ear.

Now, of course Aaravos just could be a sadistic bastard who enjoys messing with people (and I'm sure there's spades of that) as well as ideas of being "elegant and efficient" in that why take things by force when you can convince other people to do stuff (and take the fall) for you. But in my mind, there's one main reason to maintain secrecy around people you're trying to use or convince: you want to maintain their trust, and you want their trust because you want their Knowledge.

Additionally, the more I've thought about it, the more sure I am that Aaravos was ingredient collecting for Something before his imprisonment (300 years ago, and still a thousand years at least into his grand plan). We see two powerful figures disappear close together — Luna Tenebris, who "mysteriously died" and Queen Aditi, who vanished — and we already know Aaravos "swallowed" the latter.

We know from Viren and Claudia that dragons, particularly archdragons, are incredibly powerful. Zym, just as a baby and with the staff as a conduit, would've been enough for Viren to "transcend his moral form" and presumably let Aaravos out of the mirror permanently by... taking over Viren's body, maybe? The details are fuzzy, but the intentions and initial endgame stage (freedom) was probably plain.

Moreover, if Aaravos did need a Powerful Sun Object and a powerful Archdragon (moon? sky?) Object to get things underway, it'd also explain the choice to go to Lux Aurea to get the Sun staff and corrupt it, as that choice inadvertently led to another 'downfall' (if he and Viren hadn't gotten the staff, their army probably would've had enough time to take the Storm Spire before the dragons even arrived; they were only held off so long because the Sunfire elves were there).

Like before, with Aditi, there's also a potentially powerful Sun source in both the sun seed itself and in Sol Regem, particularly if either or both become corrupted. Zym still exists as a possible source of energy to exploit, and there could be something Moon wise with Luna Tenebris' unsuitable heir or even Rayla.

I'm also not going to pretend to have definitive answers. That said, given that everyone else has been on a perpetual chase for knowledge throughout arc S4 and S5 ("I don't even know if she's alive" / "How do you know?" / "Having knowledge isn't the same as knowing it" / "If Akiyu knows helped make it, then she must know where it is" / "To love is simply to know this...") it wouldn't surprise me if the Mystery of Aaravos is about him, yes, but also one he's been trying to 'solve' all this time.

And on the one hand, this has also already been sort of true, given that despite his powers, Aaravos genuinely seems to 1) have no clue of where he was imprisoned or 2) in what (the pearl). The idea that his powers and foresight as a Fallen Startouch elf weren't extended far enough for him to be able to go back to the 'Heavens' whenever he wanted, that the Startouch elves are somewhere currently beyond his reach... That would kind of track and explain the 1,200-1,000 year interim and Why it's taken him so long to figure certain stuff out.

If he doesn't need Objects (which might play into the lack of coercion or construction, perhaps?) or at least not entirely, then Knowledge of something he's missing may be partially the clue needed to go back Home and wreck shit up. Not needing objects per se could also explain why things that may be useful to him — like the Nova Blade, if he wants to kill his own kind; or potentially the cube (but who knows) — weren't confiscated as it were before his permanent Fall to earth.

This is where we get to the Celestial Elves.

The Celestial Elves, in spite of being a late stage addition to TDP's lore in comparison to most other elements, have always felt very purposeful. As laid out in my post above, there's some very particular choices made about them that seem Obviously intentional in a way that say, other design choices regarding the elves aren't necessarily.

For example, original concept of Aaravos featured him bald, in robes, and blindfolded, but were scrapped for being "too obvious" / on the nose, leading to a very different final design. While blindfolds in TDP don't have much of a negative association largely thanks to Lady Justice and Harrow, the idea of not being able to see clearly (hi Viren!) is absolutely a motif the series returns to over and over until it reaches fruition: "I finally see the truth."

As mentioned in my linked post, the fact that all the Celestial elves are Skywing elves feels intentional as well. Sky (freedom) in the series is the opposite to Star ('destiny') if we're just going by primals and not looping in dark magic. The choice to make the Celestial elves Skywing specifically, when they could've been any kind of elf or even a grouping of different kinds of elves living together (which we haven't seen before) is probably because their understanding of the Sky arcanum and the concept of Star magic is going to be radically different than Callum's; I wouldn't be surprised if they've partially turned their back on the idea of "nothing is pre-determined" by instead saying everything is, which is his ongoing worst fear with the possession plot line.

Then there's the fact that they are devoted to Stars, and Startouch elves have had (as far as we know) little to no contact with anyone since they all left a thousand plus years ago... except for Aaravos, who would have an interest in the Nova Blade at the very least (and maybe the Corona of the Heavens belonged to him, too). The way they're called "an ancient sect" of Skywing elves is also not a point in their favour given that outside of Ancient Draconic, everything else that's been labelled that way has been negative ("the relic staff" / "the cube is an ancient relic" / "wounds from an ancient and disturbing practice" / "Infantis sanguine. It's one of the old spells").

Furthermore, the true sight serum Viren poured in his eyes in 2x02 is also what inspired the bulk of today's thinking meta, as the season two novelization states:

He held the last of an unusual liquid that he had inherited from Kpp'Ar. The liquid was a rare serum that the Oracles of Ophidia were said to have used long before the fall of Elarion in order to see through the illusions of the world. They would harvest venom from the fangs of eyeless vipers; and it was said that the venom had to be extracted on a moonless night. All it took was a single stray beam of moonlight to taint the serum and bring out its most dangerous qualities. Instead of clearing one's illusions, a dose of tainted serum would drive a person into a permanent, irrevocable madness.

Oracles are fortune tellers, which is already very Star arcanum-y adjacent. Ophidian is derived from the Grecian root for snake, which is very dark magic-y accordingly. We know that the Oracles were ancient if they predate Elarion, and we don't know whether they were humans, elves, or both. The fact that this lore is 1) here and 2) connected to Kpp'Ar, who it seems Viren likewise 'inherited' the staff from AND who had a perfect twin box that matched the one Aaravos has in his mirror... None of it bodes well, and I think there's reasonable speculation that the Oracles had some connection to a Startouch elf at least, once upon a time, and possibly ties to the Celestial elves as well.

All of this to say is that whatever the Celestial Elves stance on Aaravos is will inform their practical role in the story, yes, but will also inform what he's been Waiting patiently for all this time, I think.

If the Celestial elves are largely against Aaravos, then them hiding themselves and hiding these powerful and dangerous objects makes sense; cloaking themselves from him would take time and effort and if he's not willing to go back to 'Heaven' without being able to kill people, then maybe he's been waiting all this time to locate the Nova Blade (which Callum is now taking him directly to; great!) or one of the quasar diamonds is his missing piece, or whatever.

This would give me more pause as 1) said info was found in like one afternoon of searching in the Great Bookery, which Aaravos presumably would've had access to and 2) the Starscraper is probably the Star Nexus if there is still one, so I'd imagine Startouch elves would know where it is. That said, Callum and Zubeia never made the mirror connection (Callum had no reason to think it was stolen, and Zubeia had no reason to think that if Viren still had it Callum wouldn't have noticed upon inheriting the mage study right away, so wires got crossed) so who knows. Sometimes story's gotta story so reality's gotta bend a bit!

If Aaravos has been looking for information and/or an object outside of the Starscraper's walls (a spell? the cube?) then the Celestial elves pivoting to being a more antagonistic force makes more sense to me. If they have no reason to hide from him, then they have significantly less reason to be narratively Opposed to him. That doesn't necessarily mean they're exclusively evil or anything (though they could be!), but I could see internal fracturing and having our one named Celestial elf, Astrid, be a contrarian force for good as things go to shit (much like how Ethari is our one Silvergrove villager because he breaks the Ghosting spell, or we spend more time with N'than because he's willing to go against drake rider traditions).

We know regardless of anything else Callum and Rayla can't just waltz in and have everything they want immediately handed to them on a silver platter without a hitch, so at best there might be a trial or two to pass (which speaks to some ambiguity about the danger Aaravos poses) and at worst, they might lure the two in with a false offer of help and security / trials only to actually just rip the floor out from under them.

Conclusion sort of

The good news is that by the end of S6 we will probably know most of these answers, excitedly enough! Given that the Merciful One has their stardust quote to Aaravos in 6x01, and that 6x09 is called Stardust, Aaravos referencing that line while he gets some of his vengeance would track accordingly (especially because know he says it at one point, thanks to the first teaser trailer).

Additionally, it's likely that since the end of S6 is the most 11th hour "worst possible things ever are happening" moment, Aaravos getting to have some of his revenge is I think a fair expectation to close out the season, and give us lots of high stakes for S7. Whatever he's been patient over, his waiting will finally be over, and the apocalypse of sorts will start, for the Stars that he's finally strong enough to 1) return to and 2) wreck havoc upon but also for everyone else, too.

But yeah - this was definitely a more rambling meta than most and I hope it got you thinking! It's hard to believe that in under two months we'll have answers to some of these questions we've been asking for so long, and I can't wait to find out what they are!

[destinygoldenstar]

Ninjago Dragons Rising Season 2 - Is It Good Or Nah?

So, I'm late to the party, aren't I?

Well I've had so much work that I think I'm having an existential crisis. So I had to wait till I had a free day to watch this season because I wanted to watch it with my GF.

We got to Episode 6, and then what did my boss do?

Slap me in the face with long work hours several days of the week.

I feel like I'm in a spiral of work after work after work with no purpose to life besides failure cause I can't trust myself to be capable at anything-

ANYWAY. We finished it now.

You know what the insane part about the season is? That it got the show trending on Tumblr.

That's an INSANE level of hype right there.

So I seriously had to ask myself "What the actual f**k happened in the show that caused THIS much hype?!"

So... here are my thoughts on the season.

SPOILER WARNING

Okay, so this may be a factor of my judgement, but due to my schedule, I was forced to watch only 6 Episodes one day, and then the last 4 Episodes today. Keep that in mind.

When it came to the first half of the season, was it good?

Yes. Obviously.

Was it living up to the insane level of hype?

Uh... not really for me??

Now, don't take that as a negative. This season is still REALLY good.

After the first season took awhile to get started as it needed to set up its characters and this new world, it makes sense for this season to throw the punches immediately.

The season gets started with its main plot right away with Ras immediately putting his plan into action, and by Episode 2, it's very clear the threat level he opposes and it's believable that we should be intimidated by what he wants.

Even though in Episode 2's fight, while AMAZINGLY choreographed, I was just screaming at the screen "HIT THE PERSON HOLDING THE GONG."

Like seriously, more than one of the characters in this fight can use projectiles with their powers AND they have a blaster in the Bounty, and the show never says that Ras has some sort of armor defense preventing him from getting blasted. He's literally standing out in the open. And the gong is clearly what's giving Cinder power. So HIT THE PERSON WITH THE GONG.

GOSH.

Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that this season's fight choreo is genuinely AMAZING. I am obsessed with the way the camera moves with the characters in these fights you have no idea. I was genuinely blown away by the last episode's fight in particular. But more on the ending later.

What also shocked me was how BRUTAL some of the stuff that happens here is, which caught me off guard.

I mean, Episode 2 has Euphrasia getting ambushed and crashed off the Cloud Kingdom with clear injuries, and Wyldfyre getting her leg SHATTERED. Like, WHAT?! HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?!! (Even though the latter's healing was unrealistic. Like, it would realistically take months for an injury like that to heal. Not a critique, just saying.)

Ras body slams Jordanna at one point. He puts Arin in a CHOKEHOLD. And also beats him up so brutally... like OMG this guy does not mess around.

The Fear Cave Trial also REALLY got me tripping. Not only was it such a visually appealing moment, but it also, as the same suggests, showed several character psyches that were insane.

Except Kai for some reason. That's gonna drive me NUTS until I get an answer. WHAT DID HE SEE-?!

Then we get to the dragon mentors, and...

Yeah the season kinda loses me in the middle.

Don't get me wrong, I love the character bits here as much as anyone. But with how dyer they made the threat of Ras before, Ras and his forces take a backseat in the middle portion of the season and we're mostly just sitting at these training grounds talking. And for four episodes of it? It's a little grating, even if it is important.

The middle is mostly where most of my issues with the season stand. And here's where I get all my negatives out of the way:

Like I said, because this season is so long, there's an awkward pause in the conflict on the dragons plotline to learn this Rising Dragon Technique. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't FOUR EPISODES of it.

With the exception of the attack at the Land of Lost Things ONCE, Ras's army doesn't go after the ninja at all. I can kinda get the dragons group since they didn't have Bonzle, but he has to know that they ARE a threat, right? They're obviously trying to figure out how to stop you.

And even with the group that has Bonzle, what they NEED, the forces that go after that group is the Administration and the one off magician man villain, the former really didn't need to be in this season even if it was for a compelling Jay cameo, and the latter has overstayed his welcome at this point and I just rolled my eyes when he showed up on screen.

I'm all for Cole being a badass as much as the next guy, but WHY this magician man, who at this point, is so disconnected with the main antagonistic forces that he serves no purpose?

Why not, I don't know, use this screen time instead to explain what in the world happened with Cole when he left?

Seriously, the first season had this huge cliffhanger with Cole's character and him going after Wu's ghost. I wonder what's gonna happen to him and what he's gonna find out-

Oh. He's just back.

That to me is a huge disappointment. What was the point of him leaving the Lost Family in the first place if this journey was basically nothing? He doesn't even talk about it! COME ON NOW.

Also I think Zane should get slay pass on the Administration guy that called him equipment. What do y'all think?

I don't like Egot. Or whatever his name was. He's very condescending and cryptic and talks down to his only hope of the world being saved. But I think I'm supposed to dislike him for it, and there's gonna be more of his characterization revealed later, so don't take this one as a critique. The female one is great though.

The sorceress lady was... a choice in the narrative. My one critique for the ending was the potion shenanigans. Not because they were bad, but because they just felt so out of place among everything else. Like, "Oh, this finale is too dark and intense! We need to occasionally cut to wacky shenanigans with this sorceress's magic to prevent kids from feeling too much dread!"

I don't know, for me, I would've placed this stuff with the Administration instead, and instead have the group fight Jordanna, lose, and have her get away and flow that to Arin getting to her. Especially since the Administration posed such little threat to them and they even say such.

(I also have a theory that this sorceress is Wyldfyre's birth mom. I have no evidence to back this up besides "They both have red hair and similar facial structure")

With Cloud Kingdom getting taken over and Euphrasia captured, I thought she would have more of a role to play in this since this is, you know, her HOME and she's their guardian.

But nope. She does next to nothing up until the very end and plays prisoner and waits for the ninja to save her.

For gosh sake girl, you're the master of wind. FLY.

And finally, my last critique, Cinder.

Yeah I'm sorry, I'm not buying this character so far. Not that I don't think he'll have anything to do in the second part, but for how threatening he was in Episode 2, that threat level kinda vanishes in the middle and only comes back at the end. He does next to nothing and we learn nothing about him other than "He likes power". Jordanna is probably more unlikeable, but at least she has conflict going on with Ras and her magic, and she still serves more of a role in the plan besides being a foot soldier.

And... yep. That's all my critiques for this season. Which all seem pretty minor.

You know what this season is real good at? Characters.

As though that wasn't obvious already.

I did NOT expect Bonzle to play any major role at all, I thought she was just gonna be the dry and cynical side character. But no. She has a history. She has a life. She has emotions. All of which REALLY shine through at the end when you hear her voice have more range in it. The VA killed it. I ended up feeling so bad for her.

Especially considering what happens to her.

They're also not even hiding it anymore with Geo x Cole. They're just NOT. I love them and I hope we see more of their relationship in the future.

I genuinely don't understand the critique of "Geo is so selfish referring to him as Cole's family when it's obvious Cole has other people in his life."

Well no shit, you ever heard of a character flaw?

But it's also a completely understandable flaw. You guys aren't forgetting the part where Geo was abandoned for being a mixed race, right? Of course he's gonna cling to someone as compassionate and encouraging as Cole.

The Jay cameo was nice. I expect him to play no role in this season, but it's really compelling what they showed and I was satisfied with it.

Lloyd's conflict was handled very well in my opinion.

What's it called when it's PTSD, but it's about future events rather than past events? Foresight Traumatic Stress Disorder? FTSD? Yeah let's go with that.

For a kids show that glosses over trauma, (That's not a Ninjago problem, that's a kids show problem), it was really refreshing for them to not do that for once. It's actually explored and talked about and Lloyd is given advice on how to cope with it, and he freezes up in panic attacks when these visions happen and-THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR NOT IGNORING HOW HARD SOMETHING LIKE THIS IS.

Seriously, as someone who is going through stuff like this, minus the magic element, it spoke to me a lot. It really shows that this show grew up with me, and I both love and hate that.

I do think this sort of arc is going to hit hard for adults much more than kids.

Are kids constantly terrified of the future and getting paralyzed with these fears and finding it difficult to cope with the traumas that is time and human life?

No?

Kai is also a standout in this, especially towards the end. This is by far the best Kai has been in a long time in terms of quality. I love how one of his most significant flaws gets addressed here, that being his overreliance on himself and his own abilities over the others, who he feels responsible to protect.

And the way he grasps with that and learns to let loose like he did as a child back in the old days through what he loves the most, that being his family. And the flashbacks with him and his sister. And the whole sequence of him learning Rising Dragon - AUGH ITS SO GOOD.

How poetic is it that the character most devoted to family since childhood is only cocky and angry because of his own desire to be the one with power to keep them safe, gets power by letting that go, being a kid again, and joining the same roots as his own family?

AND THEN HE GIVES UP HIS LIFE FOR THEM-

And finally, Arin.

Oh you poor sweet, sweet child.

First of all, yes, I am completely subscribed to the theory that the show is building up Arin turning on the ninja and becoming a villain. It's all there. It all fits. The amount of times they say how sweet he is as though that's gonna get lost. The dragons, the creators of the world, the gods basically, telling him he's not good enough. Ras confronting him. Sora's stunt even after she's been the most encouraging of him, like the BETRAYAL there. It's all there. And I will be posting my theory scenario on this don't you worry.

BUT, I don't think that's the route they're gonna go. Kids show and all of that. They wouldn't do that to one of their main characters. Unless you're Star Wars. At most I think Arin will be tempted by Ras's master's power in an episode and even do it, but then with the power of love and friendship, it'll get fixed.

So instead I'd rather say that Arin, by far, has the BEST power crisis arc of the entire show so far.

I LOVE that he doesn't get powers. That's something the original show would've done. I LOVE that he doesn't figure anything out in the end and his inner doubts get proven correct. That's something the original show would not have the guts to do.

I liked Arin in the first season, but he didn't interest me too much. Mostly because Sora had the lion share of focus in the first season. Here though? He might just take the crown for THE most relatable character. And I both love and hate it so much.

Like, seeing everyone else succeed in mastery while you can't even figure out your own thing. You get told you have a natural talent and a lot of potential and that you're good at a lot of things, only for that to be put to the test in the real world and you end up letting everyone down. Even when your loved ones encourage you that you are good enough and you're special in your own way, you can't get those voices out of your head and you mess up again and again and again to try and meet the world's expectations. Then those in charge tell you you're not good enough and wasted potential. Then you try everything out in the real world anyway and you FAIL, and those that doubt you and your own insecurities get proven correct as you're left a broken mess of a young child who doesn't know what the hell they're doing-

I'M IN THIS SHOW AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

I probably love Sora more as a character, but I will admit I grasp towards Arin more right now. Sora's a great trans allegory in a world that hates trans people. But I'm not trans so I relate to it a bit less. Arin's a great autistic allegory in a world that doesn't know how to help autistic people. And I am autistic so I relate to it more. That's just a me situation.

I am so invested in where Arin's story goes from here. Evil or not.

So yeah, the season was good, but didn't completely live up to the insane hype, which, to be fair, is a high bar.

UNTIL THE LAST FOUR EPISODES.

And then all of a sudden, I AM SHOCKED AND SHAKEN TO MY CORE.

These last four episodes are an absolute emotional roller coaster that left me shaking and screaming the whole time.

I actually SCREAMED at multiple occasions.

I actually screamed so many times watching this that I am now HOARSE.

THAT'S how hard it hit me.

The story goes from 0 to 100 the moment the Blood Moon shows up. Which was what the whole season was building up to. And it did NOT disappoint.

The race to try and protect Bonzle. The intense visions and paralysis Lloyd suffers from. Ras and the army coming back to the plot to be absolute powerhouses. The last episode of DREAD the entire time to desperately try to stop this ritual.

HUMAN SACRIFICES?! AM I WATCHING A KIDS SHOW RIGHT NOW?!?!

I was begging for Arin to succeed at getting Bonzle to safety, even though I knew he stood no chance against Ras. "Come on Arin! You got this!! YOU GOT THIS, SWEETIE!!"

And then Ras just goes to TOWN on the poor boy and taunts his utter failure, which HURTS SO BAD MAN.

The entire fight with the army, Cinder, and Ras. The destruction of the mechs which knocks them unconscious for a bit. Kai figuring out Rising Dragon again when his family gets put in danger. The way Nya avenges her brother afterwards.

When Bonzle was getting morphed back into spell form, BEGGING, I was begging too.

But they still do it!

And KAI?!?!

I couldn't even process what happened other than me screaming. From the moment Ras alluded to sacrificing Kai against his consent, I was screaming "NO. DON'T DO IT."

AND THEN THEY SACRIFICE HIM.

LIKE HOLY GOSH THIS FINALE DID NOT MESS AROUND.

I predicted a while back, in the first season actually, that Kai was gonna get sacrificed at some point. Who's laughing now? I DID NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT.

Like, usually in Ninjago the character would be willing to sacrifice themselves for the others. But here? This is without Kai's consent at all. Ras might as well have killed him right here.

It definitely felt that way with the way the others react and BEG for his safety. The way Nya avenges him.

And Kai giving up his shot at escape for the sake of his family? BRO. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

It hurts even more when you realize that when the Merge happened, Lloyd was ALONE thinking only he survived. He only gained hope again because of his reunion with Kai. His beloved surrogate brother!

AND NOW HE'S GONE.

NYA AND LLOYD LOST THEIR BROTHER.

WYLDFYRE LOST HER SURROGATE FATHER.

THEY THINK HE'S BASICALLY DEAD.

BRO. THAT'S SOUL CRUSHING.

And then Sora?! Why you gotta betray Arin like that?!

The most encouraging friend towards Arin, the person who held onto hope and praises for him the most, betrays that hope and doesn't trust him enough to get the winning blow himself. Then LIES about it.

GIRL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

That's going to be SO compelling once that gets outed. Like, morally, that was messed up and she was definitely in the wrong, BUT it led to the best possible outcome for them at the moment. They WON because she did NOT believe in Arin's abilities. Which only proves that the doubts about Arin's said abilities are correct.

And I have a gut feeling she's gonna learn Spinjitsu on top of that. And once that happens... double ouch.

Again, Evil Arin Theory.

I really hate to say it, but this reminds way too much of Arcane. If you know what I'm talking about.

I am totally imagining a situation similar to that in my head, that being a rescue mission for Kai, they decide to leave Arin out of it because of the lack of faith in him, he tags along anyway and he ruins their plan and Kai stays trapped there, Lloyd and Sora lash out on him for it, and before they can apologize they get thrusted back by something and Ras and Ras's master find Arin and take him in-

Again, I'll make a post about that.

The finale was by far the best part of this season. It has been a long time since Ninjago has made me HOARSE from being too invested.

That has not happened to me since Sons of Garmadon.

Because, yeah, I actually have NO IDEA where any of this is headed. How are they gonna save Kai and Bonzle? Why did some of Lloyd's visions not come true? What in the world is going on with Ras? Will the Administration help with that? Will the source dragons help with that?

What I probably do know is that Part 2 of this season is going to turn this into the best Ninjago Product since Tournament of Elements. Maybe even top it depending on my rewatches if my problems are still problems.

So... yeah. Good or Nah? Good. Obviously.

The hype is a little overblown to me, but it still deserves the hype.

[mylittleredgirl]

much more context with an episode list below the poll!

more info below by episode (forgive me in advance if i forgot your favorite doctor-evolution episode) (also forgive me for all the mistakes i will immediately see once i hit post but will be unable to fix because we can't edit poll posts):

season one: "i wasn't programmed for any of this!"

"eye of the needle": after kes starts advocating for him, janeway offers him the power to turn himself off, and he asks for a name.

"heroes and demons": he leaves sickbay for the first time and has his first non-medical mission. he's emotionally affected by freya's death at the end.

season two: "before you, i was just a projection of photons held together by forcefields [...] just a profession, not a life."

"projections": he hallucinates an existential crisis about whether he's a human or a hologram.

"twisted": the doctor spends time recreationally with the crew on the holodeck for the first time (though it's not clear if he enjoys it).

"lifesigns": he falls in love with vidiian doctor danara pel. at first he says his program is malfunctioning, but later believes his programming is adapting instead. he also records his first personal log.

season three: "i'm footloose and fancy-free."

"the swarm": his program starts to degrade because he has been expanding it for hobbies like opera and friendships with the crew. he says his program should be rebooted so he can serve his "primary responsibility," but kes and the others convince him that his memories are important to keep. (factoid: we learn his maximum runtime was supposed to be 1500 hours.)

"future's end": mobile emitter time!!! and his first time off the ship.

"darkling": he starts editing his own program (and it doesn't go well).

"real life": he creates a holo-family for himself.

according to the stardate mentioned in "latent image" (see season five), the flashback part of that episode happens at the very end of season three.

season four: "i believe i've earned the respect of the crew as an equal."

"revulsion": we meet our first delta quadrant hologram (and it doesn't go well). this is the first time we hear about holograms being subjugated by "organics."

"message in a bottle": the doctor meets the EMH-2 and reveals that at some point he programmed himself a dick and had sex.

"living witness": we learn that the doctor has a backup module who seems to have the same emotions and self-awareness as the doctor himself (which i take to mean that whatever sentience is now in his program can be duplicated by copying).

season five: "we gave him a soul. do we have any right to take it away now?"

"latent image": we learn the doctor had a holo-breakdown (off-screen in late season 3) after his ethical subroutines could not reconcile his decision to save harry's life over another patient's. at the time, they determined that erasing some of his memories was the only way to repair him. at the end of the episode, after the doctor and seven both argue for his individual rights, janeway decides to let him work through his guilt rather than deleting his memories again. assuming this ultimately works after the episode ends, it means that he was able to overcome a critical programming conflict through introspection and social support instead of altering his programming.

season six: "haven't I earned the right to self-determination?"

"tinker, tenor, doctor, spy": the doctor formally complains that his sentience is not being acknowledged and argues that he should be allowed to grow his abilities beyond his role as doctor. he also wants his potential to be evaluated based on his holographic nature rather than humanoid limits ("my program can be expanded indefinitely. i don't have limits!").

"blink of an eye": he lives for three years on the time dilation planet and even has a son ("it's a long story").

"virtuoso": he tries to leave the ship to become an opera star, choosing his passion (and his ego) over his originally programmed purpose.

side note: "fair haven" and "spirit folk" are both in season six, and that's the first time that anyone (including the doctor) seems to consider the concept that regular holodeck characters might also have some kind of feelings, personhood, or right to continued existence (unlike in season three, when in "alter ego" it's both a joke and a problem that harry falls in love with a hologram, or in "real life" when the doctor is fine with b'elanna reprogramming his family without consulting them).

season seven: "the doctor exhibits many of the traits we associate with a person [...] but are these traits real, or is the doctor merely programmed to simulate them?"

"critical care": the doctor violates the hippocratic oath in his programming by harming a patient to save others, and it does not trigger the ethical subroutine breakdown he experienced in season 5.

"body and soul": delta quadrant holograms are in revolt. the doctor experiences humanoid pleasures and enjoys them.

"flesh and blood": he betrays voyager to save the hirogen-programmed holograms and (temporarily) leaves the ship to join them, "because i'm one of you."

"author, author": a federation arbiter decides that he's not legally a person, but is "no ordinary hologram" and has some limited rights.

[borderlinereminders]

How do I know if I’m overreacting?

One of the first things I do is remind myself that even if I am overreacting, my emotions are still valid and allowed. Sometimes our emotions are stronger than they usually would be for any number of reasons, but there's usually an underlying reason (like a build up of things, or the person causing the emotion has a pattern of the behaviour upsetting us, etc).

I do remind myself not to react in an emotional moment. In this case, I might use a Tolerance skill to get through the immediate crisis and then once I'm feeling a bit calm, I'd look at the situation.

For example, if I was upset because my friend cancelled plans on me and I was angry about it I might proceed by looking at why I'm upset. If I'm feeling upset because they cancelled plans because they were burnt out, or had an emergency, I'd probably realize this was stemming from my insecurities and realizing that my feelings were me feeling like they didn't care because of that.

In that case, my feelings are still valid, but how I react to them changes. In this case, I wouldn't confront my friend because it's not really their fault. I'd work on some self soothing things myself. If those didn't work, I would ask my friend for reassurance in a healthy way.

Now if my friend cancelled plans because they had another friend invite them to do something, or perhaps it was a pattern that they almost always cancelled on me, I might realize my feelings of anger are completely justified. (Please note, your feelings are valid either way, but I couldn't think of a better word here.) Here, the friend is being inconsiderate and them hanging out with someone else may make you feel like a second choice because they got another "offer." In this case, I wouldn't confront my friend in the heat of the moment but would step back and look at my other skills. DEAR MAN might be useful in this case.

It's also completely valid if you don't want to use skills, but just think the friendship isn't right for you anymore. But try to make this decision in a clear state of mind and not as an angry urge.

Sorry, I rambled, but I hope that helps!

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.212 thoughts

[Crowd Pleaser]

(Contents: criticism - pacing/cast utility, character analysis - Kururu, predictions - Kururu's character arc/Unchaste's development)

Just to get this out of the way, I completely understand why so many people are underwhelmed and even disappointed with this chapter. I definitely agree that it's not one of Tozuka's better chapters, but I don't think that this is an indication of Tozuka being disinterested in what he's writing or not knowing how to wrap up the arc

With how rushed it felt and UU's placement near the back of the magazine in the last few weeks, I think it's more likely that this was an editorial decision, that readers weren't really jiving with this plotline and were hoping for something more action-packed

Personally, I'm of the camp that feels what this arc was missing was a focus on Kururu, not a focus on action. I do personally greatly appreciate characterization for Kaede and Raita, but there was absolutely room to give Kururu more without sacrificing the two of them. In fact, this chapter, if it were split in two, could have had just enough time to do that in a way that I think most folks would have been satisfied

At it's core, two things happened in this chapter: Kaede vs. Kururu, and Raita's confession to Kaede. If this chapter had been focused entirely on the former, it would have given greater depth to the emotional stakes from their perspectives. We got a glimpse of this from page 1 with a flashback to when Kaede refused Kururu's offer to go pro with her (also I was right, the agency DIDN'T ask for Kaede, Kururu recommended her), so I think that instead of showing how the song was affecting Raita here, the bulk of this chapter could have been better served focusing on Kururu's mentality

If we got more flashbacks as to how Kururu got to this point, how she met Kaede, got scouted, felt abandoned, searched for what she was missing, culminating in how she met Soul, I think that would have gone a long way to fleshing out her character. The weight of Kururu's resolve to win her own way rather than relying on Soul or Unchaste would have been much greater if we knew the struggles that led to her holding such an ideal, and we'd be that much more invested in seeing her overcome Soul's influence and embody said ideal

From there, I think the chapter could either have ended with Kururu firing Unchaste at Raita, OR with Kaede's scattershot. Either of which would have created a solid cliffhanger, with the former building tension as to how the gang would react and resolve this crisis, and the latter raising the question of what significance this action holds. We'd know it means something, but we'd have a week to sit with it and ruminate on what it says about Kaede's character and how it would alter the outcome of the battle rather than having it explained immediately

Then of course the following chapter would be the aftermath, which would have more time to explain the events from Kaede and Raita's perspectives, followed by a few pages dedicated to their words resonating with Kururu and allowing her to reconcile what she's seeing with what she's been through. I have no doubt that Tozuka intends to do something like that next week (or at least I really hope he does...), but until I see the fruits of his plan, I definitely feel like I'm left wanting for one more scene of Kururu and Kaede talking out their differences and Kururu moving past the lie she believes

I am somewhat hesitant to lobby all of these criticisms at this chapter simply because of the possibility that it will get cleared up next week, but this is a weekly series, and the immediate response is just as important as the gestalt, at least for now, so I won't hold back just for that. My main point is that Tozuka has the chance to put all of this right, but if he just moves past it without hesitation, I will definitely be disappointed

The other major issue with this arc is how it highlights a lack of utility in its cast relative to previous arcs. The Under men getting dragged onto Kururu's team was not utilized during the performance at all, and the girls teaming up with Kaede was only tangentially touched upon when it could have been used as a way to get more insight into Kaede and Kururu's past. It isn't hard to see how Kaede giving some of her lines to Latla would mirror Kaede stepping aside to let Kururu go pro on her own, so that could have been a great opportunity to flashback to that moment or something else emblematic of their differences

Then there's Julia, who was silently given an Unchange barrier to keep Fuuko from triggering Unluck by bumping into Kaede, and she didn't even sing at all! I didn't even notice the thing about the barrier until I saw people talking about it on twitter! Splitting up the chapter would have given more opportunity to go over background details like that without needing to relegate it to an omake, and the extended cast could feel more involved rather than incidental. Aside from pointing out that Fuuko stopped fading, Julia didn't even get a line this entire chapter and exclusively made surprised faces. I know Tozuka is saving her for something bigger, but there has to be something more to do with her in the meantime!

Anyway, I really don't want to spend this entire review kvetching, I think that the fandom as a whole is kind of already doing that, so let me try to focus on some positives

As I said, the two most important things in this chapter are the competition between Kaede and Kururu and the love between Kaede and Raita, which are (understandably) portrayed simultaneously because Kururu's goal is to supplant Kaede in Raita's (and the audience's) eyes. While Kururu does in fact win the competition, Soul's plan ends up failing specifically because he has Kururu put her focus on Raita rather than the performance, something that Raita knows the woman he loves would never do

When Kaede rushes to Kururu after the show, she says "you're not acting like yourself." Kururu's behavior was not only incongruous to Raita, it was incongruous to Kaede. Just like Kururu could not trick Raita into seeing her as his lover, she can't trick Kaede into seeing her as her enemy. Ultimately, this means that the weakness of Unchaste, and by extension Kururu's weakness, is her inability to be genuine and show her true self to others. She cannot reap the rewards of being loved because she has yet to submit herself to the mortifying ordeal of being known, despite being a famous, public-facing idol

This furthers analysis from last week, that the thing Kururu is missing is the ability to make herself vulnerable and truly be seen for who she is. I would like to have gotten an understanding of what she thought she was missing before the battle ended, but I am glad that the results seem to be consistent with my interpretation thus far

Considering that Kururu is currently being kidnapped by the Union, I think it's fair to say that her character arc hasn't concluded yet and that she won't just accept that she's been recruited. Fuuko still needs to convince her that they're on the same side, and possibly free her from Soul's influence assuming that he has any left on her (and I bet he does), so we're definitely not too far past the point to be able to get that characterization, even if the Unchaste Arc has concluded (though I'm not quite sure it has just yet)

Fortunately, Fuuko is the perfect character to make a point about being genuine to Kururu. Not only is she Kaede's child, providing Kururu a way to project her insecurities and biases onto Fuuko, but Fuuko has made a deliberate point of presenting herself as she is to the rest of the Union in the past. When she went to recruit Void, she absolutely refused to present herself as anyone or anything other than herself as a way of taking responsibility for altering the natural course of their lives

Kururu, through the current Unchaste, is doing the exact opposite; where Fuuko refused to alter people's perceptions or memories, Kururu forces herself into their memories and makes them perceive her as someone precious to them. Fuuko has to earn people's attention, respect, and love by being herself, while Kururu steals those things by pretending to be someone else

The problem is that Kururu can't keep up the act. She relies on the victim's feelings to carry the load and keeps going as normal, not realizing that the inconsistencies between her presentation and the victim's expectations supersede her hypnotism. This is how someone like Andy would be able to overcome Unchaste, because unless Kururu can figure out how to perfectly replicate Fuuko's character, he'd notice the difference instantly

Lies have a way of piling up, and contradictions will eventually become too large to ignore, so honesty really is the best policy. I don't know for sure if that's the lesson that Fuuko will need to impart to Kururu next week, but I think there's a very good chance that it will play a part since they're so clearly diametrically opposed on that particular issue at the moment

This also provides two interesting avenues for how Kururu can level up Unchaste further:

She can become more irresistible by being herself and adding herself to her target's soul rather than replacing someone else within it

She can read her target's soul to understand what kind of person they love and use her talent for hiding her true self to replicate the target's love

Which way it goes will be dependent on what point Tozuka wants to make with Kururu's character, whether she's wrong to present herself as she does, or if she's wrong that she's missing something and that she should cultivate her talents rather than trying to fill a void that isn't even there to begin with

After this week's chapter, I really hope that I'm right and that Tozuka isn't done with Kururu yet, because I truly believe that this arc is still perfectly salvageable. Even if the arc is done and Kururu's character will need to be revisited during a different arc and not immediately next chapter, Tozuka has made it clear that he's capable of delaying character development and still making it compelling (i.e. the entire concept of L101, Feng's reappearance during the Language fight, etc.), so at worst, I would expect this arc to be saved retroactively

If anyone is worried that Tozuka is falling off or anything silly like that, I ask that you be patient and remember that he's rarely, if ever, let us down before. He's earned my trust several times over by now, so I at least will continue to have faith, even if things don't go the way I'd like them to

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR Rambles 14 mental illnesses-

Cutting from Dark's tantrum, it becomes evidently obvious Dark isn't angry at Shadow in the way he's seen people show anger.

Smth to consider:

Everyone who's angry so far has been...Explosive. (Vio is like, the only one who's just been steadily annoyed.)

Blue and Shadow both get pretty explosive when they're mad, Vaati too. So...Dark doesn't have much to go off of in the way of nuance in showing he's angry/mad at someone.

Literally zero to one hundred.

Dark even outright asks Shadow Link "Am I mad at you" likely because he's just...kind of mad Shadow and Vio are close and he's jealous but Dark's understanding of his OWN emotions are basically none.

He's even "Embarrassed" and thinks he should have looked at Blue's memories to get a better grasp on anger.

Don't do it Dark-

Dark's flip flopping between his attempts to show anger and his natural mellow personality is night and day.

Switching to having sharp teeth again to reflect Shadow Link.

1st panel is pretty evident: He's just saying shit that Blue has been feeling lmao.

Dark again speaks in the 3rd person here. Twice now it's been used to try and speak about himself from someone else's perspective.

Vio's afraid of him, but the previous time he did it, his "Yay Dark Link" line if you remember was smth he WANTED Vaati to feel about him.

Shadow is rightly confused as HELL about what Dark is even talking about. Dark not so casually does conform though he was the one who was messing with Vio earlier.

The three panels of Dark's face are some of my favorites because it shows just how little this conversation matters to him from a serious angle.

His act of being pissed breaks immediately with his inability to hold back a grin at how silly he feels he's acting at the moment.

Dude's having a fun time but Shadow's patience has run dry and he snaps at Dark to "just answer me!"

While the Triforce of power glows.

This makes Dark stop what he's doing and freeze up.

I'm sure this page confused people. Because it's kinda. Weird.

Dark stops talking and is just frozen up.

Shadow doesn't just ask him a question, but an outright demand while his Triforce glows.

Dark starts screaming with a terrified look on his face and elaborates plainly what he's doing there, he covers his own mouth quickly after.

Shadow's disturbed by this interaction and looks down at the Triforce on his hand.

So basically if you were wondering:

Shadow made Dark talk here, albeit on accident using the power of the Triforce.

Which is why Dark started screaming and twitching because he had no choice but to respond.

With his autonomy ripped away from him Dark is rightfully terrified of Shadow Link.

His fear is so strong he holds his hat close to himself for comfort and hides his face, apologizing his loyalties lie with Vaati and not Shadow Link.

Shadow tries in vain to clear up the identity confusion.

Okay but from Dark's perspective "Gannon's" just being a lying weirdo. X'D

Dark knows "The truth" and he can't really comprehend why "Gannon" is still keeping up the lie that he's a different person asking plainly if Shadow's afraid Dark wont' like him.

Shadow's obviously very fed up, reminding the audience and Dark that he has no fucking clue who Dark even is at this point.

Fun thing about the panel where Dark mimics Shadow's face, the panel of annoyed Shadow and the panel proceeding it both share some line art. X'D

Dark was "mimicing" again but goes right back to his actual feelings.

He doesn't actually care about Shadow's identity crisis at all when it comes to not telling anyone else about it. Stuttering while he talks.

He's confused why Shadow gets to "Lie" in this instance but Vio's lies were bad and deserving of anger.

Keep Dark's confusion over lying in mind.

2nd to last panel talk:

Shadow just, has no idea how to deal with this dude.

Like it's evident Shadow has a hard time keeping up with Dark's nonsense but it's REALLY evident there.

"Wtf is he talking about?" face is pretty funny.

Dark being shocked they might hate Shadow more for lying than being Gannon is a fun assumption on Dark's part, leading Shadow to ask outright

"Are you trying to give me advice???"

From Shadow's perspective, it sure does seem like Dark is trying to give him advice. X'D When Dark is just saying how he feels.

Fun questions from Dark...

If Shadow can "Switch around what you are" ...a phrase that's very up for debate wtf he actually meant by that statement,

Can Dark do it too?

Shadow seems to take it as Dark asking if he could be a good guy too, and says "yeah sure why not".

Whatever Dark DID mean by that, he seems to take Shadow's reply well and laughs to himself about it with a very pleased expression on his face.

Keep that, in mind.

Dark sits back down and asks Shadow a pretty...weird question.

"Do you think Vio will still want your kisses if he knows who you are, King Shadow Link?"

Again showing Dark's focus is on really random things that pertain to his interests. Because he doesn't ask Shadow if Vio will TRUST HIM, or still LOVE HIM, or even if he'll still want to be his friend.

He asks if Vio will still kiss him.

Which is like, super specific.

When Shadow's like "idk"

he gets giddy and resounds Shadow FOR SURE should tell him the truth.

Why?

Well that face really says it all.

Dark in some way thinks Shadow would be an obsticle to Vio's affection... HUh.

Wonder where he got that from...

Cough cough BLUE-

This line is the nail in the coffin for Shadow as he's full blown pissed off now.

Dark's perpetual jabs at Vio have finally made him crack.

There's for sure a hint of jealousy in Shadow's actions too.

Dark exhaling pollen as he sighs is probs only amusing to me.

His SASS in the words "...Is FIGHTING all you two know how to do?"

Clearly referencing Vaati in this statement, clear annoyance in his face.

Dark is already fed up with both Shadow and Vaati's quickness to fight at the drop of the hat.

Dark does take up his gigantic sword and gets ready to fight.

His lines are pretty telling about how he feels this is an obligation to make Shadow Link "have fun".

"...If you have fun, at least that'll make one of us...right?" - Dark finds fights boring and meaningless and really doesn't wanna do this, but since it'll make Shadow "have fun" he's up for playing along.

The eye on his chest looks distinctly bored with this as well.

his next line is kinda, weird.

"If we win, we get to celebrate...so there's that...yay..."

This line is meant to be in reference to Vio and Green's fight, and how afterwards Shadow and Vio celebrated.

His little "...I'm trying to get excited about it" explains his little "yay" to hype himself up.

Dark focuses on defense in this fight for the most part, blocking Shadow's attacks.

"Are you having fun yet? Can we stop soon?"

Dark's really not feeling this fight and just wants it to be over.

He takes another page out of Vio's book an tries to make his opponent unable to fight.

In this case, he disarms Shadow by parrying his sword out of his hands.

Dark's murderous expression paired with Shadow's face reflecting in his blade is a pants crapping image if you were in Shadow's shoes I'm sure but for the audience it's cool as hell.

Dark, again, had the chance to hurt someone majorly and chose not too.

Which really reflects the kind of person he actually is I feel.

Dark chooses to give mercy to people.

He just lets Shadow fall onto his ass.

Though, don't get Dark's question mixed up. X'D

He did not ask Shadow "Did that hurt?" out of kindness or concern. He asked it out of genuine curiosity.

Shadow has a second of hesitation before slamming that sword full force into Dark.

Ouch.

Dark had a hard time with that swing.

His continuous mumbling about how he really doesn't want to fight are just kinda sad.

The visual of Dark swinging this huge ass sword around, and trying to balance again once he got Shadow off him is so oddly cute.

Shadow reflects on how he's filling the role as the "bad guy" here because of Dark's behavior as well get into with the next page.

I mean. He's right.

Dark's just defending himself against Shadow's attacks. He's not trying to hurt Shadow.

Not actually attacking or retreating is gonna wind up in Dark getting hurt, so Shadow wonders if this is the right choice, considering his options.

If Dark was fighting back, this would be an easier moral fight. But Dark isn't. He's just defending himself or disarming Shadow so Shadow can't try to hurt him.

Dark being a moral mess to deal with is a continuous theme...

As Dark's behavior leads him to be very hard to deal with as an enemy or an alley.

Shadow decides that he IS gonna fight Dark still but gets rudely interrupted by a flashbang.

Ouch. Not the eyes.

Dark covering his chest eyeball. Ouch.

Shadow cowering in the Shadows lmfao. Poor dude.

Poor dark has 3 eyes that got hurt in that nonsense. Vaati's team spirit just ain't there.

It's a sad thing to consider Dark has gotten almost nothing but pain in his short time existing as a conscious individual.

Vaati very rudely grabs Dark's face in a very possessive manor. Because he sucks. XD He lumps in Shadow Link with Link in how the curse functions... which Dark tries to interject with...Something, but Vaati tells him to "Stfu"

Their interaction through this whole thing is just...This: X'D

Vaati is very sick of Dark speaking, at all. So just tells Dark to be quiet.

The repeated idea of Dark not liking lies/people misinterpreting things is just a thing to note.

Vaati thinks he can get hooked up with 2 evil Links.

Little does he know-

Ya know we'll get back to that...

I just wanna point out to the audience:

Shadow is a huge dick here.

In trying to insult Vaati and built himself up he just tore Dark down which clearly hurt Dark's feelings.

There was no need to say that Shadow. 😭

Oh but there was...

To show the audience Shadow's still a bit of a douche bag...

Dark mimicking Vaati's pissed off expression is so funny to me and only me.

I know like, NONE of yall read the pillowfort excusive comic.

But it's cannon Dark's ears are ticklish so that's why he laughed when Vaati whispered to him.

He gets more serious when he realizes Vaati's sayin' smth important and whispers back.

What Vaati and Dark are implied to have said I'll get into in the next page.

Shadow ain't a fan of the secrecy.

Turns out Dark just told Vaati what he saw.

Which was smooching and hugging lmfao.

Vaati proceeds to laugh his ass off about affection he'll never receive.

Dark is utterly confused about being patted on the head.

Dark just sits there thinking to himself over what Vaati's saying + Vaati's action.

Welp. Vaati's being a dick.

Dark plays with Vaati's hair idly while he talks shit.

And we get to a very hilarious panel imo. Dark hugging Vaati and Vaati being utterly disgusted with the action.

Thoughts:

Why did Dark hug Vaati?

Well there's a few reasons he could have

He could have KNOWN it made Shadow jealous. He took Dark rubbing his head as clearance they can touch each other just fine. He just likes Vaati and wants to touch him.

Shadow's blatant jealousy isn't missed by Vaati either.

Just gonna point out, the background hue keeps shifting to match emotions.

Purple for fear, red for anger and the green for jealousy.

Vaati's an asshole so he rubs Dark's head in an attempt to make Shadow jealous further.

Vaati is nothing if not an emotional manipulator.

Dark appreciates the head scritches at least.

Again Vaati seems to get smth wrong, and Dark tries to correct him and gets cut off.

For shoving his finger in Dark's face Dark unceremoniously licks it.

Which is funny as hell to me, especially how one of Vaati's eyes glares at him for this but he's too busy trying to be manipulative to tell Dark off. X'D

The smug look on Dark's face would lead one to think he knows it pissed Vaati off that he did that. XD

Vaati's persuasion is shit, so Shadow sees right through it.

Huh...Funny Shadow only seems to humanize Dark slightly when Vaati's abuse tactics used on Shadow are thrown back into his face on full display.

FuNNY HOW THAT WORKS.

Also Shadow's dialogue's important so I'll expand on it.

Him admitting he did shit wrong. Yay character growth. UwU

He can relate to being trapped. Bro was trapped in Link's shadow and SUFFERED so...it's safe to say he knows how Vaati's imprisonment feels.

Shadow dropping the "Family" muhahaha. He loves his dumbass boys. UwU

Vaati continues to suck.

The sudden gripping on Dark's shoulder makes Dark wince. Ouch.

Omf. That line hurts.

Vaati and Shadow's relationship is one sided pain and hurt with the promise of love that never comes.

Shadow broke out of that cycle by breaking the mirror but still has to put up with Vaati's crap.

Dark views this with expectant eyes.

Vaati's monologue here just reflects his time after the events of the minish cap manga.

Shadow's response, my boy grew up lots.

He clearly feels bad Vaati went through that but say it with me

IT AIN'T HIS PROBLEM.

Haha oh Shadow's words are very telling about how he feels about the past.

"Vio means it this time...right?"

His wants now are just stuff like "I wanna have a bed!"

reminder from the flashback he DIDN'T HAVE ONE.

He wants to spend time with Zelda and Link in a meaningful way.

visual references to BOTW Link and Tetra because muhahaha.

Shadow's words about "Failure" is kinda telling.

Being a villian in a Zelda story means you fail. The hero will virtually always defeat you and you'll be left with nothing but pain.

Shadow wants no part of that shit...

But his reasons is kinda...selfish?

He doesn't say "being bad is bad because you're bad!" he says "Fuck I don't wanna fail anymore."

He settles on a life he finds obtainable because Gannon and Vaati's dreams are INSANLY UNOBTAINABLE not because he doesn't want those things too.

Because let's be real if there were no consequences...Shadow would do whatever the fuck he wanted. XD

Vaati's not the only one who can project! SHADOW CAN DO IT TOO.

Failing at the hands of the hero over and over is smth Shadow feels Gannon's emotions on. Dude is so sick of it.

Fun chameo from our favorite hero ever.

Navi.

Jk. Hero of Time...I'm sure he'll never be relevant ever again.

Shadow's acceptance of a lowkey life pisses Vaati off.

The perpetual failures being slung in his face was just one too many.

Vaati's reached his limits of anger at both Dark and Shadow Link.

Oh.

He didn't squeeze him like a squeaky toy this time...

If you're wondering "Why didn't Dark dodge?"

Last time Vaati carried Dark off and when he DID try to hurt Dark he tried to slam him into the ground, not CRUSH HIM.

Dark didn't perceive being held alone by Vaati as a danger so didn't bother trying to escape.

Shadow's terror at this action like, really makes it sink in Vaati means business.

Vaati's sick of everyone at this point omf. Dark just stays limp as hell which sucks for him.

Shadow channaling the power of the Triforce of power decides to fuck Vaati's shit up.

This was 100% inspired by the Guardian/Blight lasers lmfao because that's FUNNY.

It really sucks to me we don't really see what the Triforce of Power's abilities...ARE.

So I'm just going with "Shit Gannon can do in other incarnations" because that's all I have to go off of. 🤷

"Turning the wieldier into a pig monster" was smth I saw but that only really happens to Gannon with the explanation that he's losing control over his piece and himself? So...Shadow switching to pig mode here wouldn't make much sense. X'D

And YAAAAY DARK LINK IS SAVED.

Due to pure selfishness on Shadow's part-

Okay look I'm not gonna sugar coat it.

Shadow didn't save Dark because he cares about who Dark is. He saved him because how Vaati treated HIM was being put onto Dark. Shadow's projecting to hell onto Dark due to the abuse he faced and ONLY helped him due to that reason.

Round about say to say: He doesn't pity Dark here, he pities himself.

"That's not what matters right now." - Shadow said like a liar.

This wasn't a logical choice in the slightest and Shadow has no justification for his outburst in this regards because it was 100% anger at his own past abuse being slung in his face and has nothing to do with Dark the person being abused.

Shadow just as an afterthought asking if Dark is alright kinda sements that.

IMAGE LIMITS ARE SATAN'S MISTRESSES.

So I guess I'll pick this back up later.

[wirewitchviolet]

Is it possible to have a conversation about Trans Lifeline that isn't extremely uncomfortable?

This is, for quite a few reasons, one of those subjects it's really hard to even bring up, but you know, sometimes these things need talking about. I'm not planning to go too dark here but you know, content warning all the same.

So... Trans Lifeline is a charity organization which, on paper, primarily runs a crisis hotline explicitly for trans people, with a volunteer staff of other trans people, and on the side, dolling out small amounts of cash to people trying to get legal name and gender changes straightened out. And that's a great thing for people to set out to do. Also just getting this out there, many years ago now I did avail myself of both those services. Didn't actually end up needing the $50 or so for the name change formalizing (I'm poor enough that the probate court just waived the fee turned out), and I don't suppose I can complain about the hotline service, because while on the one hand, I'm pretty sure I was talking to someone very much out of their depth, but you know, someone answered, talked, and hey I'm still here right?

Really, that's the sort of thing that's just inherently selfless and important enough you'd have to be some kind of utterly horrible person to ever go and criticize, right? Which... kinda makes me horrible right now. See, as mentioned, they helped me out some years ago, but there's kind of an emphasis on the years ago part of that. I've had plenty of cause over the years to pass info on them to people, both the number and the grant program, and again not to get too dark but I've had reason to personally call myself here and there, lack of any sort of support network and all, and this is partially just anecdotal, but I don't know that I've actually ever heard of anyone getting in touch with anyone there in like... the past 5 years? Maybe 6?

I have been told they just will not do the grant thing for people in Canada despite advertising themselves as serving both Canada and the U.S. Which is a shame because my understanding is it's a much more painful process there (it's absurdly easy in the U.S. generally speaking, quit psyching yourselves out, go to probate court, ask for a form, then after there's another at the post office). And for quite some time now, anyone attempting to call that I've heard of hasn't reached a live person, and hasn't even been put on hold. You get a recording. The recording says everyone is busy, and their hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM Pacific time, and then the call disconnects. Which still seems to be the case when you do call in that range... and also those hours don't match what's listed on their site. And the numbers they advertise on their front page don't seen to have risen since people first really became aware of them and they started getting flooded.

And like... I'm really not trying to stir anything up here, or say they suck or something. The work they do is super important and takes a horrible emotional toll on the people doing it. I know. I've spent dozens if not hundreds of nights talking trans people down from rather immediate self-destructive thoughts, both people I knew and people I didn't. This was my whole thing a decade ago. I also have experience being on the ground floor of a charity organization that flamed out in a hurry, and which never made any sort of statement indicating it'd completely shut down, nor took down the page (to be clear- I never saw a dime of that money, and did what I personally could to explain that). My point is, I get it, stuff is hard to keep going, and hard to admit you aren't keeping going.

I'm also not putting forward the idea that TLL has secretly shut down here, but they do seem to have... severely retracted? Again, when they first got started, they were dealing with call volumes and volunteer counts where you'd maybe spend an hour on hold before getting through to someone, but you could call at the sort of times where someone is going to feel the need to call such a hotline. Now you've got this theoretical short window like, around lunchtime/early afternoon. And they close entirely on weekends apparently. And shut down for the whole back half of December, as I just look at these recent announcements on their blog. And like... I can understand being stretched thin, I'm sympathetic, but I'm also looking at this from the perspective of the people in crisis, you know?

I would argue that a crisis hotline not existing to be called at all would be preferable to reaching a point where you're calling one, and having a prerecorded message tell you they can't help and hanging up. That is THE worst thing you can hear in that position. Crisis hotlines are already something people generally only turn to as a last result when there is absolutely nobody else they can flag down to talk to in an emotionally charged moment. You're not going in expecting any sort of magical fix to your problems, just someone, even if it's an overworked stranger, who will listen and respond.

So... why am I getting into all this? Well, besides it being the 10 year anniversary of like... all my major trauma and accordingly just being in this morbid sorta headspace, I see people recommending that people call TLL all the time. People throw the number out when discussing self-destructive thoughts broadly, when they see someone directly in a crisis situation rather than try and talk them through things personally, and it's kinda like... THE organization people look to when they feel upset about the plight of trans people and want to do some charity fundraising.

It's already just bleak as hell that when people feel bad for trans people and want to throw money around, they aren't helping people get away from abusive parents, or cover medical costs, or help people replace all their clothes, or inviting people whose social circles just shrank to nothing or next to out to see movies or get dinner or anything like that, just pay people to talk to them when all of the above gets to be too much to deal with and they give up on life. But the hard reality here is, people do that, pat themselves on the back, and then when people do just collapse enough to need to make such calls, nobody picks up.

I don't really know what the fix for this is. Like I don't wanna say people need to just stop supporting TLL, because in theory they are still helping SOME people? And like, hey, I think it's an all trans staff, so you're helping at least a handful of us get by if nothing else... but it's like hearing about a bunch of people dying of thirst and the best fix anyone has is dumping buckets of water into an extremely leaky barrel and encouraging people to try and get there before it all drains out, you know? There's really a whole slew of related problems here, and I don't really see any of them getting fixed until we just kinda collectively admit that the way things stand right now, we've got an emergency plan that's just straight up not working, and brainstorm from there.

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 13

I was looking forward to this, because it was a Ritsuko episode, but it kind of falls flat. At least she's nice to look at.

Let's get this part out of the way. The Eva pilot kids are participating in some weird experiment where they have to sit in simulations of their Eva units and they gotta be butt-ass naked the entire time. Ritsuko says some bullshit about how they're trying to eliminate any interference in their bodies' connection to the user-interface. So they had to get super-clean and I guess even wearing the plugsuits would introduce unknown variables to the experiment.

I mean, the real reason is to do another gag where the kids are made to feel uncomfortable for the audience's amusement. It's also to write them out of the story, because they'll spend the whole episode stuck inside their entry plugs, unable to leave because of an evacuation order and their nudity.

However, the experiment has to be aborted when some sort of unknown corrosion occurs and contaminants enter the purified water that the Eva simulators are soaking in. All efforts to remove the contamination fail, and when Ritsuko tries to burn it off the simulators, its protected by an AT field, which means...

It's an Angel. I'm not clear on whether it's been inside the NERV base for a long time, and it's only now just making its move, or whether it just got here. But check this out first.

While Admiral Clownshoes gets the report from Ritsuko, Gendo Ikari just rises up from the floor like Cody Rhodes on his magic stage elevator.

Except it looks like his lower body has been cropped off. I think he's supposed to be sitting at a desk that's rising up with him, but it's the same color as the wall, so it looks really, really bad.

Gendo immediately orders that the Evas should be launched. The real ones, not the simulators. His staff point out that they'll need the Evas to defeat the Angel that's infiltrated their base, but Gendo is worried that the Evas might be compromised by the contamination. At least this way, if they lose the base, the Evas will be safe outside.

As for the pilots, they were already ejected from the simulators when the crisis began. Here, let me skip to the end real quick.

Those are their entry plugs, which are just... floating in a lake for some reason? The kids spend the rest of the episode here. I guess they could climb out and swim to shore, but...

... they're nude, and also they have no idea what's going on, or that their Evas are also outside the base. I guess in theory they could mount up and fight the Angel as usual, but this isn't your typical Angel.

It's more like a microbial infection, or an algal bloom. Somehow, it's evolving, becoming hardier and more powerful as it makes its way through the base. Briefly, the gang notice that it might have an aversion to the ozone they use to sterilize the water, so they pump more ozone into try to kill it. That works... for a little while, until the Angel suddenly recovers and flourishes in the ozone-rich environment. It adapted to its new conditions.

I think when it made contact with Rei's Eva simulator, it learned... computers? I don't know a more sophisticated way to say that. Anyway, once that happened, the Angel started moving through NERV's... computer... stuff. Eventually it got into the MAGI.

All right, let's talk about the MAGI. These are a trio of supercomputers that run all of Tokyo-3. In particular, the MAGI function as the main OS for the NERV base, but they also serve as the de facto municipal government of the city. They have elections and human officials, but that's just a dog and pony show. The real decisions are made by AI.

When the Angel infects one of the three MAGI, Melchior, it attempts to trigger a self-destruct command, but the other two MAGI overrule it. So the Angel infects a second MAGI, Belshazzar, and Ritsuko manages to halt its advance by... well, I don't actually know how she does it.

This gives them two hours to figure out how to deal with this. Misato proposes destroying the MAGI before it's too late, but Ritsuko objects, since that would mean destroying their entire base. I don't know if she means that literally or metaphorically. I mean, the Angel is trying to destroy the base literally, so it sounds like Misato's plan would just be giving the Angel what it wants.

The problem is that the Angel keeps evolving to cope with any threat, so if they can't destroy the MAGI, then the only other alternative is to accelerate its evolution until it reaches a dead end. Uh, okay?

Eventually, the Angel might "choose to co-exist with the MAGI system", if its only alternative is to stagnate and die. I feel like we're making a lot of assumptions about what the Angel is and what its motivations are.

I just assumed these things are sentient life forms, an their attacks on NERV were deliberate acts against an enemy. This particular Angel infiltrated their base and immediately went into the heart of their operation--the computer that controls everything-- and tried to activate a self-destruct mechanism. It's not trying to communicate, and it's not an emergent consciousness. It seems to know exactly what's its doing, and it's trying to kill them, just like the last several Angels that made a beeline for this base.

My point here is that I don't think it has a strong survival instinct beyond completing its mission. Given the choice between co-existing with the MAGI and mutually assured destruction, I think the Angel would choose the latter. But maybe I've been misreading these things all along.

Ritsuko's proposal is to reprogram the third MAGI, Casper to... I don't even know. She's going to do something to it. Then they'll allow the Angel to contaminate that MAGI as well, and whichever one is faster will win. If the Angel can take control of all three MAGI, it can trigger the self-destruct, so unless Casper wins, they all die.

So Ritsuko crawls inside of Casper's... uh... computer junk, to make the necessary changes to its program. Inside, they find a bunch of handwritten developer notes, which supposedly will help them reprogram this thing even faster. Wouldn't these notes have been more helpful on the outside of the computer? I get that they were going for a particular visual here, but I'm really having a hard time keeping up.

While Ritsuko works, Misato asks her about the MAGI, which... okay, this is a huge pet peeve of mine, where I'm trying to fix some complicated piece of equipment, and someone tries to make idle conversation while I need to concentrate on what I'm doing. And this is a hundred times worse than that, because Ritsuko's on the clock, and when the clock runs out, they all die.

But Ritsuko plays along, so either she's just that good at multi-tasking, or she's too polite to object. Anyway, her mother was the one who invented the MAGI technology, and she imprinted her own personality into its systems. Ritsuko says her mom set them up to represent three aspects of her personality: Scientists, mother, and woman. Ritsuko always respected her mother as a scientist, and she could never relate to her as a mother, but she hated her as a woman. Okay?

Basically, Ritsuko didn't like her mom much, but she feels a special connection with the MAGI anyway, because they carry her mother's personality and legacy. It's a lot like the deal with Misato and her dad, or Shinji with his dad. Is this a theme, or did the writers just only have the one idea?

It's a good thing Ritsuko is so hot, or this episode would be a total mess. She does whatever she does, and it works, but with less than a second to spare. The Angel is... gone? They don't really get into that, but it doesn't explode like all the others, and the contamination is eliminated, so I don't know what exactly happened to it. Maybe it really is co-existing with the MAGI system.

Oh, wow, I'm out of episode. This was the pits.

A huge chunk of this one was just technobabble, which works pretty well on a show like Star Trek: The Next Generation, but not on an anime like this, which relies on flashy visuals instead of live actors. The problem is fairly simple: An Angel got in their base and tried to hack the supercomputer. But the solution is utter gobbledygook. I have no idea what they did to fix it, or even whether the Angel was alive or dead afterward.

I'm reminded a lot of the TNG episode "Final Mission". It's about Wesley Crusher's last day on the Enterprise before he goes to Starfleet Academy, and he, Captain Picard, and a dirtbag shuttle pilot get marooned on a desert planet. Picard is injured and the pilot gets killed, so it's up to Wesley to save Picard from some weird energy sentry that's preventing them from getting fresh water. Wesley figures it out, but the climax of the episode is just him tapping buttons on his tricorder until the sentry finally just... goes away.

It's a real letdown, because the rest of the episode was really good. The problem is that normally when they solve a problem on Star Trek, you have one of the crew explain the solution to the others, and they mull it over and eventually agree to a plan. But in "Final Mission", Wesley's got no one to talk to. Picard's unconscious and Dirgo's dead, and the Enterprise hasn't found them yet. So he's stuck in the unfortunate position of having to come up with this clever solution with his tricorder, but never getting the chance to tell anyone how he did it.

A good counterexample to this is "The Enemy", where Geordi La Forge is marooned on a planet with a hostile Romulan, and they have to work together to track a homing beacon to escape. It's much more effective, because it's two characters in a collaboration, so they have to explain what they're doing. Geordi has a tricorder and his VISOR, but the planet's environment has messed up his brain to where he can't use the VISOR, and his tricorder isn't sensitive to the beacon. So the Romulan suggests he connect them together. Good idea, but Geordi can't do it because he can't see, so the Romulan does it while Geordi talks him through the procedure.

That's not what we get in NGE 13. The Angel contaminates the base, and you have a lot of panicky dialogue and characters giving status updates and issuing orders, but none of it means anything.

"Reroute the main server into the backup neurohub!" "Disengage Pipe #6!" "It's entered the Matthew vinculum! Heading for Mark, now Luke! Isolate the John vinculum, quickly!" "Execute protocols A, F, and 37." "Shut off the frammistat and bring the Longius Introspection online." "But sir...!" "To hell with the safety checks, there's no time!"

You can kind of get away with this stuff, but there has to be a balance. Technobabble is for aesthetic purposes, to establish that it's science fiction. At some point you gotta come up for air and fill in your audience on the stakes. Let them know what the problem is and what obstacles the characters need to overcome to fix it. Otherwise you're just showing people typing on computers until the alarms switch off.

The biggest gripe I have with this episode is that Ritsuko's plan worked perfectly. There was zero tension or conflict to any of it. The alternative--destroying the MAGI, as Misato proposed-- was apparently so unthinkable that it barely got any traction. So Ritsuko's plan was the only option. Ritsuko herself had no problem implementing the plan. It would have been nice if she felt some sort of inner turmoil over this. Like, maybe she could have been worried that she wasn't good enough to pull this off. Maybe she had some unpleasant memory of her mother inside Casper's inner workings, so she just has an aversion to crawling back inside. Anything, as long as it's more than just sitting inside a computer and typing on another computer.

Well, at least she looks good doing it.

[aita-blorbos]

aita for kinda maybe accidentally ending the world? even if i brought it back?

i will try to keep this as brief as possible. it will be difficult.

so i (39 M) am a biologist/cryogenicist who was, a long, long time ago, placed in charge of a project with the aim of evacuating the entire population of earth to get them clear of a massive climate crisis. none of this was public knowledge at the time, because we didn't want to cause a mass panic before we could present a solution.

to make a very long story short, word got out. there was a mass panic. the economy crashed. we didn't have an immediate solution. it was bad, things were bad, and the government ended up shutting the project down largely in an attempt to mitigate the hysteria. it, apparently, just wasn't getting results quickly enough to justify the public outcry.

so that's the bad news. and after that, there was the good news and the weird news.

the good news is that there was a group of uber-rich philanthropists who immediately took to running a similar project, and they wanted our input.

the weird news, is that the bodies we were supposed to be disposing of weren't rotting properly. i got a little obsessed with them, for a bit. and then i realized i could control them. so i did the logical thing and became a twitch streamer before the cia could find out and have me diappeared.

and two things happened.

first, my little twitch empire spiralled a bit until i had large groups of pilgrims camped out on a compound. i did a stint as a faith healer.

and then, my buddies A (35 M) and M (35 F) started looking at the trillionaires' plans a bit more closely, and they realized that the math didn't math. they weren't evacuating the population like we'd originally wanted, they were cutting and running.

things kept happening. the police got mad at us. i made a flesh barricade out of local livestock, which was unpopular but effective. but no one was listening to us. no one was taking us seriously.

but then, the government approached us. not our government, but a government. a big one. i'm not naming names, but their leader had died, and what with all the global unrest they didn't think the country could take a shift in power right then. so they asked me if i could help them deepfake a functional head of office. and i told them i could, for a price. you have to understand, i wanted protection. i wanted to know that i had power, in case i needed to use it. to save the world.

so i asked them for a suitcase nuke. and they gave it to me.

you can probably see where this is going.

to make another, very long story short.

i used it.

i used it because the ships were taking off, they were leaving everyone behind, and no one would listen to me and i was being yelled at and all my friends were dying and i didn't know what to do. and i knew, by that point, that it didn't have to be permanent. and it wasn't.

i didn't get the ships. i haven't gotten them yet. but i brought all the people back. or some of them, anyway. i'm god now, sort of. or that's what they call me. most of them don't know what happened, they just know that i fixed it.

i fixed it.

and as soon as i get those ships, the ones that took off before the bombs, i can fix it for real.

aita?

[sea-saur]

gender rant under the cut

ok here's the thing i've been on t for a little over a year now and i had top surgery back in september of '22 so like i'm cooking right im a little guy in an incubator and my voice has changed for sure and my bottom growth is growing and im getting more hair in places etc etc so like things are happening right. but i'm also 5'2" and have a big ole ass and while my voice has changed it isn't changed enough to pass and while yes i have more body hair plenty of cis girls have more body hair than me and like basically i'm getting on and off dysphoria for not passing. i don't even WANT to pass as a cis man, i just want to NOT be read immediately as a girl. you know? and frankly i'm happy with the body hair and bottom growth and it'd be nice if my fat redistribution kicked in a little more but i'm comfortable with my weight etc etc like....frankly i think it's mostly the voice. the voice and the face. like if my face looked more boyish and my voice sounded more boyish i think the rest of my body would coast cause i've seen enough chubby guys of various shapes to not really feel that self conscious about my body. it's the face and voice that sell it.

and the other thing is like....i have this thing where it's like 'i don't pass as a boy therefore i'm not one' when i don't put that requirement on any other queer person but for ME living it mentally? it's hard to put together the 'i walk around and am read as a girl, and i was raised as a girl, and hell i frankly WAS a girl up until my 20's like that's a part of who i am and im not ashamed of that, i love child me she is important to who i am as a person and frankly i'm grateful to be trans in that way, i think growing up a girl can make me a better guy" (and yeah there's a lot of privilege to be able to say i love being trans, i'm in a large city and work in an industry where queerness is accepted and often celebrated so like. i know. i'm really very very lucky and im extremely grateful for that) but mentally, it's hard for me to even see myself as a transmasc person when i don't SEE it physically, AND because my insides are still me. like i'm still me. and i didn't grow up as feeling like a boy in a girls body. i'm still some kind of nonbinary, still very queer in general, like being bi puts an interesting spin on this too since i have never been and don't associate my personal self with lesbian spaces, or gay men spaces, i sort of float in any queer generalities that people are into. but yeah, never really clicked with lesbian specific environments. i love lesbians but im just not one.

BUT i was raised a girl, so i feel COMFORTABLE around women, often times more than men. queer people in general of any gender are number 1, but ya know. the gist is coming off of a gig the last month that was very queer coded in the musical we were doing, and being surrounded by queer women making lesbian jokes, i felt...simultaneously left out (no one was leaving me out, to be clear, i mean within my own personal identity crisis lol) and also too included. i don't know. a lot of it is in my head, people are often good about my pronouns and frankly i don't KNOW how my usual colleagues see me as a person, if they have to work harder to reframe their interpretation of me away from "girl" and into "transmasc person" since i worked with a number of them before i started medically transitioning. thankfully i always read as a queer person haha. i have that going for me, which does feel very affirming.

idk. even my own apartment decor gives me dysphoria sometimes, which drives me crazy!! i like my apartment decor! I keep trying to do little things to "masc" it up, neutralize it a little, even tho i love all the things i've put in my home. i need new curtains.

there's nothing more to do about it right now i guess, besides try and take more active steps toward my legal name change, and potentially switching from t gel to injections, but that scares me because i'm afraid of doing it wrong and hurting myself. the gel is safer that way. and the dose is daily so i think it gives are more consistent level throughout the week. i also don't know exactly how much i want to pass as "just some guy" even tho this entire rant is literally about that. i think that my fear is that i look cis/straight, which frankly idk that i ever even would based on how i am as a person, so idk why i'm worried about it. basically, i want to stop feeling like i'm 'pretending' to be transmasc. cause sometimes it feels like it's all a lie and im actually just a girl who doesn't want to be a girl but is stuck as one. especially since i don't want to be a cis guy either. i also don't want to lose my ties to my past - i don't connect with womanhood, but i don't want to lose the "sisterhood" for lack of a better term? But also really want to be part of the queer "brotherhood" that i feel like i can't be based on where i am as a person? idk i feel a lot of the time that when im in my own home, im just a little goosey guy. the second i leave my apartment and im percieved, i'm a masculine woman to the world. and even tho masculine women are the fucking shit, im just not that!! and so. dysphoria.

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

I am...pretty upset at our babysitter.

When we hired her back in the fall, she quoted a range for her hourly rate, of which the lowest end was tbh significantly higher than the going rate around here. But, she was actually available for all the hours we needed (which we struggled to find), she had glowing references, and she gave off a good vibe. So I had an honest conversation with her where I explained that we really wanted to hire her, but we're a single income family and, while it's not on her to accept a lower wage to accommodate that fact, we couldn't do more than the low end of her range (and that, though I didn't tell her, only with some financial help from my in-laws). She agreed to that rate and told us that she would always be transparent with us if money was becoming an issue, and might potentially take on an additional job if she needed to, though she hoped to work for just us.

So fast forward a few months. She's great with the kids, they love her, she's very reliable. She's asked about our childcare needs over the summer, so it seems she anticipates continuing to work for us over the longterm if we'll have her. Everything is going great.

Then we hit my husband's winter break, which was over a month long and started right before Chanukah. She asked if we needed her over Chanukah because she wanted to visit family, and we said no due to my husband being on break. She then asked about the rest of the break. I told her that technically we didn't need her, BUT I knew she was relying on the money, so we were happy to have her continue working throughout the break or for part of it, and it was totally up to her. She declined to work at all over the break.

First day back after the break and she asked if she could speak to me before she left. She told me that after the month of not working, she was struggling financially, and had had to borrow money. Here I began to expect she was going to ask for a raise. I told her that I was so sorry, because maybe I hadn't been clear, but I'd really meant it when I'd said that we would've been happy to have her keep working over the break. She said that it wasn't my fault, but now that her class schedule is fully in the evening (she's a part time student, and in the fall it was part evening and part afternoon), she realized she needs to work more of a full time schedule during the day in order to make enough to get by. And that therefore, she was giving her 2 weeks, because she was going to look for another job.

So I get she needs money. She only works for us 10-11ish hours a week. I had kind of assumed til now that her parents were paying some of her expenses.

But like.

How did you not realize in the fall that this wouldn't be enough money? Why did it take a month of not working to figure that out? Would/when would this realization even have hit if my husband hadn't had a break?

WHY DID YOU NOT WORK FOR A MONTH WHEN WE LITERALLY TOLD YOU WE WOULD PAY YOU IF MONEY WAS SUCH A CONCERN

It's not actually her 2 weeks. Because she literally had not even applied to a single job as of that conversations, because

She waited to start doing so until she could talk to us?? Like I feel like she thought she was doing the right thing by speaking in person, but...we could have had maybe even WEEKS extra time to figure something out?? Or she could've started applying when my husband was on break so if she left it wouldn't be an immediate crisis.....

So the "2 weeks" is really more "I reserve the right to be done as of 2 weeks from now but if I don't find a job by then I'll stay til an unspecified point." Which is EXTREMELY unhelpful because how am I supposed to hire someone without a definite start date. IF I'm going to hire someone, that is, because....

I asked her if she would be interested if I could help her find another family nearby that needed babysitting earlier in the day. Prior to this offer, she had told me that she really really didn't want to stop working for us, she loves our family, etc. so I thought this would be a great solution all around (as another issue she mentioned was the commute and whether it was worth it for only a couple hours of work at a time). She seemed genuinely interested in the prospect, so as soon as she left, I put out feelers to a bunch of local groups. I had like 16 people, maybe more, contact me about her and I connected her with all of them. I was feeling like maaaaybe things would work out, as long as she could find someone else who would accept her rate (or maybe she'd go down if it was more hours). Either way I couldn't try to find someone else because maybe I wasn't even going to hire anyone.

After a couple of days 2 of those people reached out to me asking if I knew what was up, because they had reached out, and she had never replied. So I was going to ask her what the deal was today, because wth, girl, I'm trying to find you a job and you're not even responding to would-be employers. But before I even got the chance, she told me that she was "offered a job" at a place that lines up well with her intended field, and she has an interview on Wednesday, so she'll let me know what's happening - but good news, it would probably start about a week later than she thought! I was like wait, you have a job offer or you have an interview?

It's just an interview. It's just a first interview. I almost have to admire the level of confidence entailed in being that sure you're going to land the job that you're already making plans around it, but anyway. What good does it do for me to know that you have an interview and you think there's a really good chance you'd get the job and that if you did you would probably start by X date? I still can't actually plan anything.

And, I'm also frustrated because I feel like if she was going to accept my offer to help her find another babysitting job nearby, she owed it to me to make a good faith effort to look into whether anything I found would meet her needs, and meanwhile she didn't even reply to all the interested parties I found her. If she wasn't going to take that option seriously, she should've just told me it wasn't something she was interested in. I feel misled by how enthusiastically she declared that she wanted to keep working for us and then it feels like she didn't really even try to make that happen.

Anyway, bottom line, she's put us in an extremely difficult spot. Assuming she does leave, any gap between that departure and finding a suitable new sitter will entail my missing hours of work a week (my husband isn't allowed to miss any of his classes and can't really miss any more days in the clinic than what he'll miss for yontiff, because he has to make up each day he misses). She is a really good sitter and I think she has had genuinely good intentions this whole time. But she is just like. Woefully naive about finances I guess? and not very tuned into what would actually be helpful to us as far as notice.