#to at the same time comfort myself when i had no job and maybe even to comfort myself for being scared
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
nosyrobin · 7 hours ago
Text
We still love you.
Pair: Batsibling!GN! Reader x Platonic! Batboys/Batfam
TW/CW: body dysmorphia, ed, comfort, angst to fluff, insecurities, bullying.
Note: I switched pov because I got lazy. This is also my first time writing something like this. But if you are ever suffering ed or bullying, please talk to someone. Handleing this such problems are harmful to you and your body. As much as you think it isn’t, it is. People are there for you, always.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Y/N L/N-Wayne who has a soft stomach, so smooth, a little round from when they were a child.
The youngest of the adopted kids of Bruce Wayne, the one who loves to eat, was always given seconds.
The one who Damian would always make sure you are fed well, his favorite non-blood sibling as he says.
The one who Dick loves to poke and play with their stomach ever since the young child was a baby. A baby who was found in a trash bin.
Jason who would always tell the child what was in the food so he can make sure they eat healthy as well.
Tim who loves to recommend small lunch dates with the foodie sibling.
The sibling who grew and lost a bit of that baby weight, who’s now a young teenager, fresh into middle school. Walking into class, there was a beautiful girl with fair skin and beautiful bright eyes.
The girl stared at the sibling with a slight disgust, seeing the poor teen sit down and pull out their binder and notebook.
The girl started to talk to the teen, telling them how their stomach was popping out. How their arms have too much fat onto it. The sibling didn’t care at first, ignoring it before the girl started to express her own thoughts.
“I would kill myself if I was fat. Literally, I’m so glad I’m skinny. Imagine taking up so much space just from standing?” She giggles with her friends at the table. The teen looked down, frowning as tears welled in their eyes.
Going home the same day, the young child looks at themselves in the mirror. Lifting up their shirt to show their soft belly. The round belly that looks enormous, that looks like it may burst the Jean button off it.
Slapping their stomach lightly, they couldn’t help but feel the tears start to fall. Were they always this fat? Chubby? They thought they already burnt the fat off…
Changing into some old Christmas pajamas, they were baggy enough to cover their body. Laying down on their back, they stared at the ceiling with knitted brows. Maybe they needed to lose some weight? Maybe it was for the better anyways, they kind of felt like they have been gaining some pounds.
For dinner, they sat with the family. Damian by their side as usual, the teenager with green eyes glanced at how his sibling would just pick at the food in the plate. They haven’t even eaten anything much on it.
Dick was currently telling the family at the table about his new day time job as a police officer. He had gotten a promotion. Jason sadly wasn’t at the table, he was eating in the library, not wanting to be seen by the family. Although the young bat could go see the quiet male.
Tim was doing his usual research in the batcave, so it really just left the teen, Bruce, and Damian with Alfred standing by.
“Why haven’t you eaten your food brother/sister?” Damian questions as he puts his silverware down.
Shrugging, the tween could only look at the plate. Seeing the food as the girl’s face who made fun of them. A sour expression fell onto the face of them, “Guess I’m not.. hungry.”
Damian’s eyes widen along with Dick who stopped talking to Bruce. Bruce and Alfred raised their brows. This young bat always loved to eat! Even have seconds… mostly not feeling hungry meant that they were sick.
Dick and Damian surrounded you with worry. “Are you okay?!” Dick says as he pressed a hand against their head. “Why haven’t you told any of us you were sick!?” Damian exclaims, ready to get medicine.
“No! I’m fine, I’m not sick.. just not hungry as I thought.” They explained, pushing their plate away from them. “I’m going to bed.” The tween scoots their seat from the table and walks away to upstairs and into their room. Leaving the men to discuss this strange event.
“What’s going on with them?” Dick says with worry, brows furrowed as he bites his thumb, thinking of the possibilities.
Damian crosses his arms, “I know they aren’t being bullied. To my awareness.” Now Damian feels a little concerned, or more likely ashamed if he hadn’t noticed his sibling being picked on.
Bruce frowns, Alfred taking the uneaten plate and putting it in the microwave in case the young child was ever hungry again.
“I’m sure they’ll tell us if anything is going wrong.” Bruce says, trying to settle his sons’s nerves. They stared at the man before Dick lets out a sigh.
“I hope…”
Tumblr media
Next few days or at least a week were exhausting, you stopped eating a bunch. Only drinking water or taking small bites off of your saltine crackers you packed by yourself.
You sped walked past Alfred who held your lunchbox, but you gave him a strained smile and only told him “I packed my own lunch!”
Jason noticed something was wrong with you when Tim came to him saying you declined to go on a lunch date with him to that cafe you wanted to go to. Jason tried to go into your room, but it was locked. Thinking you were probably just trying to study alone, he left. But there was a sinking feeling in his stomach.
The day after, Dick tried to squeeze your stomach. “Here comes the ticket monster Lil bat!” He says as he squeezes your stomach. It was too late for you to even notice that he was behind you.
You smacked his hands angrily, “Don’t touch me! And stop doing that!” You yelled at him. That gained a lot of attention and raised flags for the brothers and father figure you have.
Dick backs up with raised hand, a frown written on his face. “I’m sorry..” he says softly, watching you walk away and go into your room.
“That’s strange…usually they just.. smile and tickle you back…” Tim says as he watches the door slam closed.
Bruce knew by then, you wouldn’t talk about it. The boys stared at the leader of the family, their eyes searching for an answer.
How will they approach this?
Tumblr media
Walking into the house, you were shocked to see your brothers and father sitting all arranged into a circle. Staring at you, Alfred takes off your bag due to you being shocked.
Thoughts rushed your head, do they know you’re failing chemistry? Or was it math..you couldn’t tell what was going on other than this seems weird.
Their stares held deep worry and restlessness, you took small walks to them. “What’s going on guys?” You said with a weak smile, trying to lighten up the mood but failing as Jason has you sit by him.
“Kid. We have a feeling that something’s going on with you. Mentally.” Jason says as he place a hand on your upper back. You let out a shaky breath, “what are you guys talking about?”
“We’re talking about how you’ve been acting and your lack of eating.” Damian stated as he has his hands intertwined. “We’re significantly worried for you.”
“You’ve been skipping dinners.” Tim counted on his hand.
“Acting aggressive more lately at a slightest of usual things we use to do.” Dick says with a still frown, remembering how you yelled at him. 
You looked at Bruce for help, maybe to tell them that they’re the ones hallucinating. Bruce only shook his head at your stare, sharing the same concern as his sons.
“As we wish to not say it, we’ve come to the conclusion that… you are starving yourself into an eating disorder.” Dick says lastly. You felt cornered, eyes staring at you like a caged animal. You felt your heart drop, and was your breathing quickening as well?
You couldn’t tell as your vision get blurry, you were fine! Completely fine! Maybe you skipped a few meals, maybe you should’ve been more careful on making it obvious. Making it clear in how you would gag yourself to throw up foods when you ate too much. 
The boys were alerted at your panicking, Jason forced you to look at him as Tim runs off to get something for you.
“Kid, kid! Focus on my voice, focus on the three things you see.” He says sternly. You looked around frantically, seeing the color of your favorite blanket. “[color] blanket..” a nice flower pot by the couch. “Flower…” and then the mug Tim left days ago and hasn’t picked it up to clean it. “Mug…” after naming those three things, you started to calm a bit. Hand a little shaky as Jason rubbed patterns onto your back.
They gave you a moment to speak, you licked your dry lips and swallowed hard. Maybe… you do have an eating disorder, it’s all confusing. Wasn’t it helping you? Wasn’t it safe? You couldn’t help but cry into Jason’s shoulder. The male with a strike of white hair frowns at this and look at his brothers who looked the same as him.
“It’s okay, kid. We can get you help if you need it, we’ll be by your side.” You lifted your face up as you sobbed softly.
“Always lil bat.” Dick says with a soft smile as he looks at you looking back at him.
Tim nods, grabbing you some napkins as you let out all your insecurities to your brothers. Letting them know your deepest thoughts by these past days that went so quick only a month. Even explaining how it even started. You couldn’t help but break down again.
This was too much for you, your small brain thinking how you could even process starving yourself, going on a water diet, forcing yourself to throw up. All that to think it was helping you, only for it to harm you mentally and make you weak.
After breaking down, the boys hugged you tightly. “We still love you.” Jason says, holding you the tightest. All the boys hummed, Bruce smiled at his kids, all huddled up like birds trying to warm each other up.
“No matter what, no matter your appearance, we love you [nickname]” Tim says.
After the moment, Damian wiped your face with his hand with a rare soft smile. Tim brings you water after, with Jason rubbing your back and Dick talking to you still. “If you ever need us, don’t hesitate to talk to any of us.”
“And we mean any sweetheart. We’re your family, so we care for you. Don’t ever think we don’t.” Bruce says, walking over to you and ruffling your [texture] hair.
It took a slow process for you to get back into your habits of eating and being a foodie. Damian went into your class where that girl is. Seeing her expression of seeing THE youngest Wayne brother come into your class.
He glares at her, “You’re expelled by the way.” He says simply and leaves the room. He may have paid the principal to just get the advantage to do that. But no one messes with his sibling.
He loves you more than anything, they love you more than anything. They love you.
Tumblr media
94 notes · View notes
quilleth · 2 months ago
Text
the extreme level of 0 fucks to give i feel about work lately is kind of problematic. but also...i give 0 fucks about it. just absolutely 0 motivation beyond the most bare minimum i can get away with doing and that's not even really motivation. that's just "i need to not be a complete bump on a log or i will get fired and we literally cannot afford to live if i do not have a job and also i would lose my admittedly very good healthcare that is covering therapy and medications and testing for my adhd, insomnia, and chronic fatigue." but like i don't care about it. i'm back in the office full time (i work remote during breaks) and i'm dreading it
#quilleth in real life#is this burnout? idk but maybe#i can barely get the energy or motivation to follow through on things i *want* to do#because i have to spend 8.5 hours a day pretending i give a rat's ass about my job#when i just. don't. i could not care less. it's boring and i often don't have enough to do#and i'm tired of getting spoken down to or having to repeat myself 8 trillion times#on the same messages i've been passing on since i started over 3.5 years ago that are coming from higher up#and i say this as someone who worked fucking retail for years#i would almost rather go back to stocking shelves than deal with this#let me loose on a store during inventory tracking and reconciliation time#at least then i can have something to do and use my mind to figure out wtf happened to shit#i feel like i'm getting stupider just from the mindlessness of my job#getting told 'oh wow you're so fast' is a good thing during peak holiday shopping and gift wrapping time#but at my job it just means i blasted through what apparently takes most people days in a few hours#and i have nothing left to do for the rest of the week but have to pretend i'm busy anyway#if my last job paid decently and had benefits i'd still be there even with the bullshit i had to deal with#because at least then i had people i could talk to and things to do#and also could wear comfortable clothes and listen to music or audiobooks or podcasts#(which i admittedly do listen to things at my current one but listening to audiobooks and doing data entry#kind of don't mesh well. like i will end up typing in things that i just heard instead of the correct data to transfer)
5 notes · View notes
mifunebooty · 1 year ago
Text
Really funny this white dude in my speech class group i remember he kept making eye contact with me and i was like does he like me um and turns out he did that with everybody white people weird
#cherry says#anyways fun inside GOD THAT SEMESTER WAS STICKY my mom could not take unemployment well#me i got used to the cycle of looking for jobs getting nothing then stop looking bc my mom said dont worry about it ill pay the bills#i did that over and over and with film jobs id just look at texas film commission sometimes just to look#but i myself got used to the job hunting so i felt zoned out from it yet#that area felt as much a daydream as my wanting to go make a movie i didnt think i wanted to tell myself that#especially because i still was doing acting looking for acting#but yeah there was times my mom would make violent fits she would wonder what was happening#i think those times revealed a lot of the weird complexity of our relationship after high school#i didnt pity her but i did feel like i owed her something i believed so many things she told me#i feel like she wanted me to see her work as a sacrifice so i must do this and that but it was way deeper#parental love became a fucking duty to show it that was just it i did what she said#to at the same time comfort myself when i had no job and maybe even to comfort myself for being scared#i think tbh i need to face that past action that i was scared i was scared of reality even if it was a reality she talked of#i was scared of growing up and didnt wanna think about it i was scared of the future in 2 months when class ended#so maybe my mom with no job suddenly presented the risks we were all taking#maybe it made me more scared of what was to be on the outside#somebody who put fear in my head who said dont worry u study i work and that was gone#perhaps i shouldve taken that opportunity to realize NOTHING LASTS.#YOUR MOTHER WHO ALWAYS MADE IT SOUND LIKE THE WORLD WAS CONTROLLED AND PREDICTED BY HER IS AS VULNERABLE AS YOU NOTHING LASTS#but i didnt i instead became the punching bag again the quiet good girl and kept on thats a lot to swallow even more
4 notes · View notes
tkbrokkoli · 8 months ago
Text
:O
#aaaaaaaahhh i missed sm on tumblr i just quickly checked some blogs and it made me sad and happy at the same time#but i rly gotta focus on studying for my exams ugh. even tho i was away on the weekend w some of my friends lol. it was so fun#i haven't had sleepovers w friends since i went to highschool which is over a decade ago#it was so good and fun even tho i didn't get a lot of sleep. but i caught up on sleep on the days since and yesterday and today ive been#feeling p energized c: today i. registered? or maybe declared is a more fitting word. that i wanna change my name and gender marker#and now i have to wait until the end of the year to actually change them. but it's in motion!#i also made an appointment for a chest ultrasound so now i just need a psychiatrist to be able to get top surgery w the surgeon i picked#i recently had a job interview for a student job as a mentor! it won't pay a lot but a bit money is more than nothing#and i enjoy being a mentor so i hope ill get the job. haven't heard back yet#also i found out that all the fellow students that i have become friends w are queer. i am friends w almost all my fellow students that#are queer except w one person. it's funny bc when we all started becoming friends we didn't know that the others were queer.#well i outed myself in front of professors and the class multiple times bc I didn't pass back then so it was obvious that im queer#but i didn't know abt the others. we all just gravitated to each other which is nice. one of them isn't even out to family or friends#at home and another one told me I'm the first person they've come out to so i feel p honored that we can be open and ourselves w each other#we watched so many queer movies and shows on the weekend i loved it#i never would've thought i'd come this far. look at me being mostly mental-illness-free medically transitioning and having a social life#being more comfortable w myself than ever#now i just gotta get a nice degree and a well paying fun job (i've had a shitty fun job before) and tackle all those medical issues i have#like exhaustion. but one step at at a time. i truly feel so good rn!! :D hope you guys are doing good as well#personal log stardate
0 notes
caffeinewitchcraft · 5 months ago
Text
AITA for divorcing my vampire husband because he lied to me about his human job?
I (542 vampire) and my husband (260 vampire) have been together for a little over two centuries. There’s a saying in the vampiric community that it takes a century for a tryst to become an enduring partnership and another century to become soulmates. I thought that was true and that Matthew (using his real name because fuck you, Matthew) and I would be together forever…until this week.
First, let me explain a few things to the mortals here. I don’t mean that negatively – I came here specifically to get the opinion of those with a finite lifespan. However, I want to be fair to Matthew as much as possible and some of his decisions are very immortal-minded.
Both Matthew and I are vampires who have chosen to forsake some of our powers in exchange for the ability to daywalk. We made the transition together on our 100th anniversary almost 115 years ago. It wasn’t an easy transition for me. I was very dependent on human blood and I spent the first twenty years in almost constant sleep as my body adjusted to running off of less lunar magic and more solar magic.
It really felt like I was losing everything. My body got physically weaker and my powers began to disappear one by one. It felt like every time I woke, another part of me was missing. One day I could turn into a wolf, the next I could barely turn into a vapor. I could command a legion of undying servants, and then I could barely convince the mailman he didn’t see me levitate down from the second floor.
Matthew, however, took to daywalking like a werewolf to a sheep farm. He barely seemed to feel the pain of losing his power, maybe because he was so much younger than me. Whatever the case, he was out all the time once he stabilized. He would be gone for days sometimes and when he came back it was with fantastic stories about the humans’ new inventions or the new structures being built in whatever town we were in.
I’m not saying I regret transitioning. Just that Matthew and I had very different experiences. It felt like he barely changed at all while my entire being got rewritten. Being immortal makes you comfortable in your own skin. I never doubted myself or my power after I turned 100. But becoming a daywalker made me feel like I was being born as a human again. It was humiliating and vulnerable. I have to admit there were times I resented how easily Matthew did it. I blamed him for not supporting me like I thought he should. I would daydream about draining a human in front of him, showing him what I thought of his fascination with them. I had all sorts of vile and vengeful thoughts. I’m not proud of the person I was and now I’m grateful Matthew wasn’t there to see the lows I sunk to.
Despite all my awful thoughts, I didn’t quit. I don’t know why, but I didn’t. I stuck with it and, day by day, things got easier.
After 26 years I began to stabilize. The benefits of being a daywalker slowly blossomed before me.  Now I can say that I am completely happy with my daywalker status and all the changes it’s brought.
I am the most mentally stable I have been since my Turning in 1482. It’s like I’m awake. The fits of rage that used to consume me for months at a time have completely disappeared. I don’t experience the same level of obsession I used to which has freed up a lot of my time that I used to spend stalking my victims.
However, that drastic of a change would be challenging in any relationship. Matthew and I ended up together because of my obsessive nature. Our relationship became strained when that part of me went dormant. He expected me to follow his immersion into the human world just as I had followed him in his revenge quest against his Master. He expected me to support him wholeheartedly and with everything I was. He wanted sacrifices from me that I used to not even flinch at before making. But something was just…different. We wanted different things. I wanted different things.
Matthew was obsessed with being the perfect human. He craved full immersion. He still makes it a point to get a human job every twenty years or so. Me? I’m happy to live off our investments and some mild mind control while enjoying the art and theater community the humans have evolved.
It got bad. Some years, we spent like ghosts in our own house, drifting by each other without a glance. Other years, it was like we were spies behind enemy lines. He would do whatever he could to thwart me and I would go out of my way to ridicule him. Our vitriol poisoned the earth. Matthew didn’t speak to me for a full decade when that poison killed off an entire town.
About twenty years ago, it all came to a head. We had a serious sit-down talk about our relationship. It wasn’t easy. What they say about teaching an old dog new tricks is sometimes true. Matthew wanted me to be as involved with the humans as he was. He wanted me to care about them like he did. I wanted him to travel with me like we used to and not just hop from town to neighboring town (which he did to maintain a human identity with references so he could keep working). When it became clear that we were at an impasse, I brought up the idea of separation.
Separating in the vampiric world isn’t easy. There are a lot of alliances and blood oaths to be considered. Over the two centuries we spent together, we became known as a unit to a number of supernatural entities that we maintain an uneasy truce with. Separating would mean creating new oaths and alliances with the same individuals. And there was no guarantee that those individuals would make new pacts with both of you. A LOT of vampire couples end up in blood feuds while separating. Neither of us wanted that.
There was also, of course, the emotional side of things. While a lot of immortals tend to only feel muted emotions (especially vampires as old as me), Daywalking had made both of us more sensitive than we’d been before. We were both attached to the memories we shared and neither of us could imagine life without the other. After 200 years together, it felt like Matthew was my right arm, and I his. When I brought up separation, we both felt it like we were discussing an amputation.
After about a year of talking, we finally reached an agreement. We didn’t want to separate, and so we would compromise. I wouldn’t interfere with any of Matthew’s human jobs for the 15-17 years if he could hold them without arousing suspicion. In exchange, he would take a year off to go traveling with me before finding another town for us to live in. In between my trips, he would go to plays and galas with me to enjoy human artistry at least once a month.
Maybe our deal was in his favor. At the time, it felt practical and fair. A year of traveling wouldn’t undo Matthew’s string of connections. We would still see each other frequently by going on dates that I liked. Matthew would get to stay immersed in the human world at the level he wanted, and I could stay within my comfort zone.
Which brings me to my current problem.
We are currently at the start of one of Matthew’s work cycles. He’s been everything from a fireman to a politician to a subway worker to a barista. He craves knowledge and connection to a terrifying degree. If it weren’t for how we move every 20 years and he goes without protest, I’d call it obsession.
This cycle, Matthew told me he was going to be a teacher. I was hesitant. While the humans have become more tolerant and less violent over the years, that doesn’t mean they will tolerate us near their young. Enough humans know about vampires that staking in the modern era is a real possibility. Matthew could incite an angry mob against us or, heaven forbid, get a vampire hunter on our tail. I have yet to be shot, but I hear that they have silver bullets that hurt like Hell.
When I voiced my protests, Matthew reminded me about our agreement. He said that I wouldn’t interfere with his jobs and he’d go to all the plays I liked. He even pointed out that, as a teacher, he could get us into high school plays and expositions. I was uneasy, but agreements are penultimate to immortals. I silenced my objections and let him get a job as a science teacher at a local high school.
When Michael has had jobs in the past, I’ve never really paid attention. One time he was a state senator for ten years and I never even heard him speak. I didn’t consider it worth my time to hear whatever his facsimile of a human would say. Real humanity is in the art they create, not in the parody Michael enacts.
But this one…I couldn’t ignore this one. Maybe it was because I was still uneasy about his proximity to human young or maybe I could sense his lies even at the beginning. Whatever the case, I watched him.
The first thing I noticed was the hours. He would go to work early and would often come home when it was time for us to sleep. When I asked him about it, he said that he wasn’t used to grading and that he had underestimated what it took to put a good lesson plan together. I visited some online forums and that’s apparently reasonable for first year teachers.
He would also sometimes go in on the weekends. He missed one of our dates because there was a “grading emergency” that needed his immediate attention. Something about a student’s test getting lost and then found and he needed to input their grade before the deadline which was on Saturday. Humans like silly rules like that so I didn’t even look that one up. I just reminded him that he couldn’t miss our dates again or else he was breaking our deal. He apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again.
Then about three months into his new job, the phone calls started. We have a private room in our house for when we need to talk without any visitors overhearing. Michael moved all his school supplies in there, saying that he needed a silent space to concentrate on his grading. Whenever he got a call, he would never answer it in front of me. Instead, he’d say “Sorry, work” and just go into his office.
I also noticed that he didn’t dress very professionally. Human fashion changes quickly so it didn’t register at first. A sweatshirt here and there slipped past me, and also the Gucci slides. When he started wearing baggy jeans and jerseys to work, I noticed. I may not be up to date on all the newest fashions, but I do go to classy events. I know what a slob looks like and it didn’t sit right with me that he was wearing that to school. When I asked him about it, he always had an excuse. “This is what everyone wears” and “It’s a theme day” or, bafflingly, “It’s spirit week!”
I tried to leave it alone. The reason we have stayed together for so long is because of our agreement to not interfere in each other’s lives. But between his hours, the phone calls, and his appearance, something didn’t add up.
Then, last Thursday, he missed another one of our dates. We were supposed to go to the Nutcracker together. Even though I prefer matinees (when the cast is fresh), I agreed to get us tickets for the evening show so that he wouldn’t have to leave work early. When he wasn’t there at 7pm, I called him and he didn’t answer. Then, when I called him again, his phone was switched off.
I was furious. I spend nearly two decades in these tiny towns so he can live his human fantasy and he can’t even show up for one two hour show? It was the first time since becoming a daywalker that I felt that angry. I was scared about what I might do, so I made myself go home to wait for him.
Only, he never came home that night. At 3am, he sent me a text apologizing and promising to make up our date on Saturday. But the Nutcracker was only playing until Friday and that would be too little, too late. To be honest, it already was. I texted him that and he never responded.
He never ended up coming home last weekend. I texted and called him probably a dozen times and he never responded. I got angrier and angrier as the days dragged by. Did he think I was someone to be taken lightly? Did he not realize that the fragile agreement between us was all that was keeping us from separation?
Yesterday (Monday), I couldn’t take it anymore. If he wasn’t going to come home or respond to my messages, then I would go to him. If he was so obsessed with this new job that he would ignore me for it, then I knew exactly where to find him.
I arrived at his school at 10am. I researched enough to know how to go to the office and sign myself in. I asked the office assistant which room Mr. Duetto was in.
The lovely young woman looked confused. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out to anyone but family,” she said.
“I am his only family,” I said.
She clicked a few more keys and looked more confused. “His paperwork only shows his mother, Delilah Duetto.”
That’s right. His mother. But I still didn’t understand then.
“That’s me,” I said.
“You are not the mother of 17-year-old.”
“I’m his wife,” I said.
She was upset by that. I won’t bore you with every detail, but I had to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call the police. I may not look like someone who has a teenager, but I also don’t look like a teenager. I ended up having to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call human CPS on an apparent adult swearing she was married to a minor.
I went home and broke into his office. There weren’t any lesson plans. There were no graded papers. There were syllabus from different classes, homework with his name on it, and a few polaroids taped to the bottom of his desk of him at a party with children.
Human children. I don’t honestly know which is worse.
(EDIT: I know the child part is the worst part. I misspoke because of my anger. It’s not the humans’ fault that my husband is a pervert.)
I broke into his laptop and used that to check his text messages. He’s been texting like a high schooler. He’s been to parties with them, listened to their problems and even fabricated a few of his own. He’s caught in some sort of weird love triangle where a freshman girl likes him but his “best friend” likes her. He has texted both of them about it, promising his “bro” that nothing is happening and then turning around and leading this girl-child on.
Some choice quotes: I should know better than to get close with you. You and I come from very different worlds
To which she replied, lol maybe we should let our worlds collide
!!!!
I find the entire situation disgusting. Matthew is several centuries older than them and he definitely knows better. He’s literally wearing the sheep’s fleece amongst the flock. He has no business forming relationships with human children and even less pretending to be one of them. He’s not a baby. He is over two centuries old!
What is he doing flirting with a child? It’s vile and disgusting and I was set to kill him for it.
I confronted him about it when he came home last night. I told him that he was sick and dangerous and if he loved humans then he needed to stop immediately. I told him we either left town today or I would make sure he never set foot back in that school in a way he really wouldn’t like.
 He threw a huge tantrum over my invading his privacy. He shouted at me that I had broken my promise to never interfere in his job. He called me controlling and crazy.
I told him he was the crazy one for chatting up a child. He told me he wasn’t, she was just his friend. I asked him to read their texts out loud if he was being so friendly. I also pointed out that there was no way a 260-year-old vampire is a child’s friend.
He told me I was a hypocrite because I basically cradle robbed him (we’re almost 300 years apart.) He said if anyone was disgusting, it was me for taking advantage of him.
I pointed out that he wasn’t a child, he was over 60 and had already been a vampire for four decades. He argued that that was basically being a child in vampire terms.
I was so angry at that point that the house was shaking. I told him if he felt that way, then we could get divorced right then and there. That that was what I wanted to do anyway because I couldn’t be married to a pedophile.
He asked me if I was seriously going to start a blood feud over him immersing himself in human society. I said no, I’m starting a blood feud because he’s become every predatory stereotype humans have of vampires.
He called me a hypocrite again and told me he was leaving. He said not to call him unless I was ready to apologize. I told him that the next time he sees me, he’d better run before I showed him the real difference between us. And it wasn’t just 300 years.
When I calmed down, doubt started creeping in. From an immortal perspective, what he’s doing isn’t really wrong. I hate to say it, but most immortals don’t view human lives as significant. I know a few vampires who would say that divorcing because he’s playing with his food is idiotic.
Plus, there’s the agreement to consider. During our fight, Matthew pointed out that being a student is a job to humans. So therefore I didn’t have the right to interfere. A big part of me thinks that’s bullshit, but a small part of me wonders if he’s maybe right about that?
I also have to ask myself why this even bothers me. I’m the one in the relationship that is aloof from humans. I’m the one that’s always saying we are from different worlds (Yeah, he stole that from me) and for good reason. 
But over the years, I’ve become fond of humans. No immortal makes art like them. I may not remember my time as a mortal, but there are works that give me a sense of nostalgia. Sometimes I think I can remember being a child myself, standing in a field like in Monet painting, staring at the wheatstacks and waiting for the miller to come. 
The thought of Matthew playing with them makes me sick. It’s like even after all the years of him living amongst them, he thinks of them as props in his twisted play. It’s even worse that he’s doing this to children. 
I can’t help but think something went really wrong with my husband when I wasn’t looking. At the very least, I’m planning on divorcing him. But would I be the asshole if I killed him too?
 Separating from him will be violent and messy. There will likely be human casualties. But I don’t see any other way. So, I ask.
AITA for divorcing my husband for lying to me about his human job?
----
Thanks for reading! I loved answering some of the responses I got when I first posted this over on my Patreon (X)!
These collaborative story telling pieces are the highlight of my week. Next week's story is about a witch who wants to know if she should attend her high school reunion even though she's responsible for stripping two former classmates of their magic...
Please check that out here (X) if you''d like early access! Otherwise I'll see y'all next week :)
5K notes · View notes
wordsofwhimsy · 26 days ago
Text
🅲🅾🅽🅲🆁🅴🆃🅴 🅵🅻🅾🆆🅴🆁🆂
Tumblr media
A/N: I’ve been going BONKERS reading through all of the Mark Grayson x reader fanfics on here.  Y’all are so damn talented!!!  Got a girl having all the feels.  It really inspires me to write more myself :’).  The last thing I posted got a little bit of love & it really meant a lot to me!  I’m also going to try working on my formatting to make it more appealing.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
PAIRING: [Budding] Sinister!Mark Grayson x Reader
WARNINGS: Series-Typical Violence & Gore, suggestive abusive/possessive
INSPIRED: by the song “luther” by Kendrick Lamar & SZA
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
♫♪ If this world was mine… ♫♪
Something was changing in Mark.  The sweet, funny, and thoughtful guy you’d known for years was still there, but you’d noticed within the last few months that there was also something else—something much darker bubbling just below the surface.  At first you told yourself his heavy emotions were normal and made sense.  What he went through with his father was nothing short of traumatic, and he never truly had a chance to process any of it.  Not in the typical sense, at least.  No therapy, no counselors, no support groups.  Just himself, his mom, and all of the poor souls who dared to take up the mantle of being a career criminal.  Of course there was always you, but what words of wisdom could you really offer?  You were just a regular girl, working an ordinary nine to five as a library assistant.  The life he led was so fantastical and impossible for you to ever truly understand.  You loved him dearly and would always support him in any way you could, but the reality was you did not relate to his current life at all.
As time went on though you noticed that what started as a shadow within him was growing, becoming like a black sludge that would seep out of his mouth when talking about Cecil, or his father—or anything really that he disagreed with.  If you were being honest with yourself, it scared you.  You of course knew he was not his father and would never even conceive of committing such atrocities, but somewhere in the recesses of your mind you held the image of the destruction that was caused by Omni-Man, and then the knowledge that Invincible was more than capable of doing the same.  Not wanting to add the stressors that consumed Mark’s life, however, you never voiced these feelings.  But they were there nonetheless, and becoming harder for you to ignore.
♫♪ I'd take your dreams and make 'em multiply ♫♪
“I don’t understand what you’re so upset with me about [Name],” Mark stated, the irritation evident in his tone. “You wanted to become the lead librarian, and now you are. That’s literally what you asked for.”  You stared up at him incredulously, arms stiff at your sides with your hands clenched into tight fists.
“You have got to be kidding me right now Mark.” You waited a few moments, for some reason believing his senses would come back to him.  Instead, you were met with him starring evenly back down at you. Your eyes widened as you shouted, “You threatened Mrs. Crump into retiring!”
“I gave her strong encouragement.”
“Be so for real right now…” You dropped your head and covered your face with your palm, needing to regroup your thoughts. “Maybe I’m mistaken.  Did Invincible not show up at my job this morning and tell my boss that if she was smart, she would make this her last day?” His dark, slim eyes glanced away from you now as he gave no answer.  Your lips pursed as you slowly nodded your head, at a loss for words.  Mark looked back at you, his expression suddenly so soft and tender.  It almost made your heart flutter.
“Your life is so short, [Name],” he said in almost a whisper. “You deserve for every dream you ever have to become reality.  In fact you deserve even more!” All the built up tension in your muscles suddenly melted away as you instinctively reached out to take his hand in a comforting gesture.
“Oh—” Your fingers trace up the solid and muscled contours of his arm, gently grazing over his shoulder and neck to finally cup his jaw. Your eyes meet with his and you couldn’t help but feel a soft smile tug at your lips. “Mark… My life may seem short in comparison to yours, but understand that for me, it’s the longest thing I’ll ever experience.” Your words seemed to do nothing to comfort him as a look of frustration pulled at his features. You only continued to gently smile. “Besides, the fight for our dreams is the most important part of the adventure.”
This seemed to register for him, at least on some level. “I love you,” he hushed while holding your face in his calloused hands.  He leaned down to give you a soft, lingering kiss that made you weak in the knees.  This time, as was the case with every time that you began to worry about his dark tendencies, he touched you and flooded your brain with oxytocin causing you to forget all about your concerns.  Just like he wanted.
♪♫ If this world was mine, I'd take your enemies in front of God Introduce 'em to that light, hit them strictly with that fire ♪♫
This is a dream, you told yourself.  Every cell in your body was shaking in horror.  This is dream, you repeated in your mind, tears welling in your eyes.  This has to be a dream.  Mark stood facing you, donning his superhero attire.  Although the blood that heavily stained his right hand up to his elbow did not lend itself to the idea of heroism. “[Name],” he spoke your name so calmly.  Nausea churned in your stomach as you took a step back from him. “I had to do this.  His life was meaningless – he didn’t deserve to be on this planet with you.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to look anywhere but at his face.  You didn’t dare see what was undoubtedly laid in a careless, bloodied pile at his feet. “You know that I’m right, [Name]. Don’t you understand? He was—”
“He was my father!” you cried, the tears now spilling freely from your swollen eyes. “How could you do this?!”
“How could I do what? Save you from his abuse? Spare you from another bruised eye or busted lip? Another horrible insult being spit at you from his vile mouth?” As he talked you could see the blackness gushing from his lips.  This was what you had feared all along but denied endlessly, until now.  And now it was far too late.  You took another step away from him and suddenly felt your back pressed into something solid and immovable.  Mark’s arms closed around you from behind, his face leaned down next to yours. “I am all you really need, [Name].  I can keep you safe.  No one else can do that for you.  Only me.” You sobbed without restraint, all of your body giving way under his embrace as he kept you on your feet effortlessly. “I know this is hard for you right now, but don’t worry, I promise you’ll understand someday.”
Having gone numb to your own senses, it took you several minutes to realize you were no longer on solid ground and instead floating above your father’s home.  It was quiet out, no sirens or people screaming.  Your neighborhood and the police were none the wiser.  And even if someone did know, what could they possibly do? “I love you, [Name].  I know you know that.  You might not feel the same right now, but I hope soon enough you will again.”  The tone in his voice left you feeling like you didn’t have a choice in the matter.  And suddenly, you could see the future clearly.  He would follow in his father’s footsteps, and this world would bend knee to his every whim.  You would be no exception.  In the name of self-preservation, you found yourself reaching up to hold onto his arms which still gripped tightly around your rib cage. 
“I love you too.”  The words surprised even you as they cracked out of your throat.  A low hum of satisfaction could be heard from Mark before he placed a tender kiss to the crook of your neck.
“I’m so glad to hear you say that.” He squeezed you even tighter, pushing the breath out of your lungs and putting a deep ache in your spine.  How could your sweet, thoughtful, caring boyfriend have changed so much? Where did the Mark you know go? Your stare fell back down to the roof of your father’s home and the sight immediately brought tears back to your eyes, blurring your vision. “Things in this world are going to be changing.” You bottom lip quivered at his words. “But don’t worry, I’ve done some things to your house just to make sure you can stay safe.  I can’t wait for you to see.” He placed another kiss to your throat, and you felt yourself slip out of your skin.  Nothing would ever be the same.
533 notes · View notes
dooberific · 2 months ago
Text
❝ 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘓𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘢 𝘎𝘶𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘛𝘦𝘯 𝘋𝘢𝘺𝘴 (𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘞𝘪𝘯 𝘏𝘪𝘮 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘖𝘯𝘦) ❞
Tumblr media
harumasa x afab!pubsec!reader
genre: slice of life, hurt w comfort, vengeful woman meets silly man, reader is intentionally insane so get ready to cringe and die on the inside right alongside her, suggestive
summary: your heart has been broken a few too many times, and he’s broken a few too many hearts. the perfect flip side to each other’s coins, surely nothing bad could happen if you both accept silly bets.
wc: 11.2 k
I rocked my own shit w this trust me, but I was inspired by cinema. READ THE TAGS, I wrote this and made myself violently cringe a few times but you gotta see it through. Trust the process bbgs
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
There is a flip side to every coin, another half to every story, a perfect balance in nature between opposing forces.
On one side was him, and on the other, you. 
The bar was busy, brimming with a number of people. Business men with loosened ties enjoying a round after a long day, young women out for an evening on the town to celebrate, officers you recognized personally taking a load off their minds after a busy shift. The energy was relaxed, but maybe it was just the martini you nursed as you leaned against the bar talking.
“Trust me, there is not a single woman in this bar who would think any less of you.” Zhu Yuan slurred, stirring her own drink, a flush of red already creeping up the sides of her neck.
She was referring to the woes in which you confided with her. As your closest friend through the police academy, she had been unshakeable even as your rank advanced past her own. You had worried that things would change after your last promotion, that when you took the seat of Janus Quarter Commander of PubSec with the revelation of Bringer’s corruption that your relationship would become strained but that fear had long abated. She was just the same as ever, another loveless soul keeping you company, another person rather hopeless when it came to relationships.
She plucked the toothpick from her glass, the wooden stick garnished with olives as she pointed it at you. “What you need, is to start taking back.” 
She drew an olive off the stick with her teeth, chewing it thoughtfully. “‘s not fair, you are wayyy too good of a girl to be toyed with like this.” 
Your head hung. She was right, it really didn’t seem fair. You were successful, had a good job, and you liked to think your personality and looks weren’t half bad. But there was just something in the equation that was missing, some integral piece that left you chronically unable to keep a man for more than a week. It was nothing short of a mystery, one that slowly chipped away at your self esteem despite your best efforts.
“What do you suggest I do?” You mused, head raising as you took a sip of your drink.
Zhu Yuan shrugged, head swiveling as she surveyed the crowded bar, plucking another olive from the toothpick in her glass. She gasped as if struck with some brilliant plan, head whipping back in your direction. 
“You need to go find a guy.”
Your face instantly went stony. “I’m not following.”
“No, no, you need to go find a guy. Play with him a bit, make yourself a real dream girl in his eyes, then give him a taste of his own medicine. Drop his ass before he can even wrap his head around what happened, and leave him running for the hills.”
“That’s diabolical,” you countered, turning to lean your back against the bar so you could survey the room, glass raised back to your painted lips. 
“I love it.”
At the same bar, at the same time, sat the other side of your coin, a can of some bitter melon soda leaving a ring of condensation on the table by his elbow. He didn’t drink much, ya know “alcohol is bad when you take a lot of medication”, but he didn’t mind the social aspect of a bar scene when things seemed promising. 
There were a couple other HSO officers milling around aside from the ones he accompanied, Miyabi and Yanagi both perched at the table with him. He was hoping to get some leg up on things at the office with this little excursion, a little leverage to use on Yanagi next time she smugly refuses his time off request, but the conversation had rapidly devolved in a way that he could have done without.
“You need to be more thoughtful, Asaba.” Yanagi chided, the lens on her glasses flashing momentarily under the bar lighting as she adjusted her glasses. 
“I understand that you have personal issues you don’t like to discuss, but this serial dating thing you’re doing is starting to impact more than just yourself.”
He groaned dramatically. “C’mon Tsukishiro, I didn’t think she would show up at the office like that. I told you she was,” his finger raised circling his temple to emphasize his point, “crazy.”
Yanagi’s brow furrowed, glare deepening as she crossed her arms.
“And what about the one who staged a stake out in the parking lot in front of my car?” 
He shrugged. “She was insecure.” 
“And what, the poor girl before that was just some clinical sociopath?”
“Maybe?”
“She was the mailroom girl! She was totally normal! Asaba you can’t just blame everything on them. At some point you need to take responsibility for your part in it too. That’s why,” she pulled a folded stack of papers from her bag, tossing them on the table. 
“I won’t be accepting any of your leave requests until you can prove to me you can keep a relationship longer than a week.” 
Yanagi may as well have dropped a brick on his head from some great height from the way he reacted.
“Tsukishiro!”
“No, Asaba, I’m not backing off on this. You have to prove yourself, but I am willing to make a deal with you. If you can date a girl of my choice for ten days and she be willing to say you were nothing but an absolute peach, then I will approve you for a solid week of leave. No questions asked.”
He perked up. “No questions asked, huh? Deal.”
Yanagi grinned evilly as she turned in her seat, scanning the crowd within the bar with a thoughtful hum. There were plenty of options, both good and bad but of all those present she was drawn rather conclusively to the figure leaned against the bar, a tasteful yet flirtatiously cut dress hugging her figure perfectly as she sipped her drink. 
The Public Security Commander for the Janus Quarter? 
Yes, you would do well to make his life miserable, she thought as she pointed a manicured nail in your direction.
“I want you to go talk to her.”
His golden eyes sparkled with mischief as he rose from his seat, popping another button on his shirt as he loosened his tie.
“Bet.”
Day One - Make Him Crave You
You had somewhat unsuccessfully prowled the bar for your victim. Too many duds and married men, and you considered yourself above being a homewrecker. No need to kill someone else’s happiness, it wasn’t the respectable married folk who saw it fit to drag your heart through the mud. 
You were all too ready to give up and call it a night as you leaned against the wall. Going home and slipping off your heels and enjoying a greasy pizza on your couch was sounding much better than revenge at the moment, but it seemed fate had a different plan.
He was tall enough that he still maintained a few inches of height on you even in your heels, a fair complexion complemented with a mess of curled black hair. His face seemed familiar, though you hadn’t fully placed it in the time it took you to meet his eye and him to arrive at your side. 
You grinned over the rim of your glass. “Hi.”
He echoed your sentiment, a smile on his face as he stopped just within your personal bubble. Interested already? A good sign. Him being handsome was an added bonus, smoldering honeyed eyes warming you from the inside out. Hm, maybe too handsome.
“(y/n) (l/n).”
“Asaba Harumasa.”
Oh shit. He was an HSO executive officer, no wonder you found his face familiar, but if he knew you his face didn’t give it away.
“Cute.” You murmured, taking care to bat your lashes. 
“Thank you.”
“I meant your name.”
His brow raised, a small chuckle rumbling from his chest. “Thank you twice then.”
“Single?”
“Currently.”
“Surprising.” 
He hummed, giving you a once over. He was bold, you would give him that. “Same. Psycho?”
“Rarely.”
“Interested?”
“Maybe.”
You could practically see the thrill of the chase burning him alive, his lopsided grin relaxed even as he rubbed the back of his neck. 
“You hungry?”
“Starved.”
“Leaving?”
“With you? Only if you ask nicely.”
“Please?”
You held up a finger. “You’ve charmed me, one moment.”
You slipped past him and back to the bar, sidling up to Zhu Yuan as you passed her your glass. “Got one. Black hair, choker.” You giggled, as her head whipped over her shoulder to where you just came.
“Shit, (y/n), an HSO officer?” She threw back the rest of her drink before snatching up yours. “Good luck, girl, call me when you make it home?”
“Of course,” you bumped her with your hip as you grinned, “See you tomorrow~.”
You would admit that you had low expectations for dinner, after all, he was just some loser you met in a bar, so a sit down meal was a real treat. The conversation flowed easily, discussing work, life, things you had in common, and before you knew it you were pressed against the door of his apartment with his tongue in your mouth and his hands on your ass. 
He fumbled to get the lock undone, attention divided between the sloppy work of your lips hot against his mouth and a tiny keyhole that seemed much too difficult to overcome. The door gave way and you squeaked with surprise, as you stumbled backwards, hands stilled knotted in his hair as your back thumped against the door once more.
He laughed against your lips, the smear of your lipstick painted across his own. “Too fast?”
You nodded, your thumb brushing against his swollen lower lip. “Too fast.”
“Right…too fast,” he wasn’t listening and you supposed you weren’t either because you didn’t argue when he kissed you again, your fingers knotting into the back of his shirt. He rocked his hips against yours and you moaned against his lips, his tongue snaking into your mouth. He tasted like the gum you gave him after dinner. 
Your hands slid down to rest against his chest. Despite his lithe stature you could feel the muscles beneath his thin work shirt as you pushed him away. 
“I’ll see you around, Harumasa.” You said as you slipped past him and back into the hallway, peeking coyly over your shoulder at him. “Do yourself a favor and call me sometime.” 
You grinned as you exited back onto the street, the air crisp in your lungs like the world was congratulating you on your skill. Now it would be a waiting game, waiting on your phone to ring once he realizes you left your purse sitting on the floor of his apartment. 
You hoped he was a praying man, because he would need all the help he could get.
Day Two - Be the Cool Girl 
Your fingers flew across the keyboard as you worked on a new project submitted to your office. So far things had been quiet, but you expected that to not last much longer with how your cellphone sat perched beside you on the desk.
It rang once, twice, and you answered on the third, leaning back in your seat with a grin.
“Pray tell what I’ve done to be graced with a call from you today?” You hummed, a lock of your hair curling around your finger as he laughed on the other end of the line.
“You left your purse at my place.”
“Ohh, yeah I can’t believe I left it there.”
“I just figured you might want it back with all the cash, credit cards and those… reverb arena tickets for the New Eridu Underground Target Archery Club Finals for tonight.”
“Sounds like somebody’s been going through my bag.”
His head rolled lazily to the side where he sat at home on his couch, your bag on the coffee table. “No, you see my cat is super curious and knocked it off the counter where I put it last night and dumped it out.”
The cat, once resting quietly at his side now looked up at him as if it understood his words. He scratched its chin as it purred. 
“If you insist, but you’ll be disappointed because I’m going with someone else.”
“Not anymore you’re not. I don’t think you left your purse here on accident, if you ask me I think you subconsciously wanted to take me out again tonight.” 
Zhu Yuan would be disappointed but you were sure she would understand, it was for the greater good in the grand scheme of things after all. 
You hummed. “Alright then, mister psychic, I will see you at the street entrance at seven o’clock?”
“You got it~.”
The entrance to the Reverb Arena was busier than usual when you arrived, waving to Harumasa who already stood waiting for you, your purse in his hand. 
“Fancy meeting you here.” You called with grin, receiving your purse back as he extended it to you, his eyes trained momentarily on your shirt.
“Didn’t take you as a fan of the New Eridu Archery club.” He said as he nodded towards the graphic emblazoned across the front of your shirt. 
“I’m just fond of the Janus Quarter team.” You countered. 
“No kidding,” He fished a card from his wallet as he passed it to you. The faded blue plastic was stamped with the archery club’s insignia, the back etched with his name and member number. Looks like you would be dodging any price inflation tonight, members of the club received certain perks after all. 
 “Consider the rest of your evening on me then.” 
The arena was crowded as you had expected for the first night of the finals, but your seats were perfect despite the swell of other bodies pressing you close to his side. Part of you had thought it would be a less sought after event, but the crowd rapidly energized as the event continued to the final rounds of the night. 
You eyes trailed from the ring to your date, his eyes laser focused on the match. You almost felt a little guilty when you shook his arm.
“Haru, Haru? I’m really thirsty, could you go get me a drink?” 
He blinked down at you like he had been in a haze, eyes momentarily darting back to the ring. “Right now?”
You nodded, and he bit the inside of his cheek.
“A diet cola with no ice, please.”
You mustered up your cutest expression as he begrudgingly nodded and got up, pushing his way past the other patrons before making a mad dash to the concession counter. Your grin had turned malicious within moments as you returned to watching the match.
He was back within a minute or two, handing you your drink as you thanked him and recounted some of the tense final moments as you sipped your drink once, twice.
It was the true final match of the night now, and you had your diet cola in your hand. You elbowed his side.
“Haru, this isn’t diet.”
His head snapped in your direction. “What?”
“This isn’t diet, Haru please I’m so thirsty!”
He did his best to hide it but you could see the frustration crease his brow as he took your cup and disappeared again.
The match was over by the time he made it back, your drink in his hands as you thanked him profusely, snuggling up at his side as you walked out.
The crowd filtered out across the street as you emerged from the underground, tossing your cup with a practiced hand into the wastebasket. 
“Are you busy tomorrow, we could watch a movie or something?” He offered in an attempt to salvage the mood.
You squeezed his arm a little tighter, turning your head to peer up at him. “Sounds like a date, I’ll see you then.”
Day Three - Be Clingy
When you met up in front of Gravity Cinema in Lumina Square he had some notion of what you would be watching. Plenty of new movies had hit the box office recently, enough variety that he was sure you could find something agreeable and not painful to sit through. 
You looked happy as you stood beside him in the line, eyes dancing across the titles by the ticket booth. There were plenty of good options, things you wanted to see on your own that you were sure he would find entertaining like a new comedy that brought tears to your eyes just seeing the trailer on tv. 
“What do you wanna see?” He asked, bumping your shoulder fondly. 
“Hmm,” you tapped a thoughtful finger to your chin. “I want to see…that one.”
A rerun of Coffee Mate wasn’t what he was expecting, but you looked quite pleased with the situation as you enjoyed your popcorn beside him. The theater was full of couples or groups of friends enjoying the nostalgia of the rom-com, all engrossed in the film. He wouldn’t lie, his own interest was also growing.
You looked over at him, the warm tones of the movie screen casting a sepia glow over his cheeks. You might be a little disappointed by the end of your little escapade, he was one of the more handsome men you had dated. 
“What are you thinking about?”
“Hmm?” He looked over at you.
“What are you thinking about?”
“The movie?” His confusion was evident in his tone as his eyes darted from the screen back to your face. 
“So you’re just completely thoughtless?”
A man in the row behind you shushed you loudly, shooting you both a glare yet you didn’t relent. 
Harumasa looked rather taken aback. “No, sorry baby, I was just thinking about…how pretty you are, now hush and let’s just watch the movie. You said you loved this one, right?”
You sat your popcorn down, brows furrowing as you turned in your seat to face him. 
“Who is she?”
“Who’s who?”
“First you’re thoughtless, now you’re an owl? I said who is she? You’re obviously not thinking about me right now.” 
The man behind you kicked your seat as he hushed you again, and you turned to face him, a wrathful look on your face.
“Listen buddy, if you interrupt me one more time my boyfriend is going to beat your ass.” 
He looked from you to Harumasa, the latter’s face decorated with a nervous smile as he quickly assessed that it was in fact a fight he didn’t want to have any part in.
“Let’s go then.”
You grabbed at Harumasa’s arm as you followed him out of the theater. “Haru, baby don’t fight him.” You pleaded. 
“I don’t have any intention of fighting him, this is all just a big misunderstanding.”
But misunderstandings usually didn’t end with a kiss from another person’s knuckles being planted firmly against your nose. He stumbled back, hand cupping his nose as blood began to pour from between his fingers and down his chin.
The man pointed harshly at the both of you as you rushed to Harumasa’s side. 
“Nobody gets between me and Coffee Mate!”
 
He was strangely impassioned as he stormed back into the theater, leaving you alone as your hands cupped Harumasa’s face.
“Let me see,” you cooed sweetly as you pried his fingers away from his nose. His eyes were watering from the sting of the hit, blood smearing down his face and dripping onto his shirt in crimson blossoms. 
You fished through your bag for a moment before you produced a few tissues, cursing internally that your pack was almost empty and that your luck was rotten enough to have seated you in front of someone willing to take a swing in passion over a romcom rerun movie. 
It was bleeding more from one side than it was the other, a rivulet of thick blood streaming almost instantaneously after you wipe his upper lip clean. You apologized about a hundred times as you pulled a tampon from your purse, unwrapping it before shoving the cotton up his nose as he grimaced. 
“What the hell is this?” He questioned, the taste of iron washing down the back of his throat as his fingers grasped the little woven tail on the tampon to bring it to eye level.
“Don’t worry about it,” you grabbed his hands, ignoring the blood that smeared onto your own. 
“You were so brave standing up to that guy!” 
He blinked at you stupidly.
Day Four - Become his Manic Pixie Dream
His apartment was rather nice when the lights were on, surprisingly clean if the precise organization of his shoe rack by the door would be any indicator of the rest of his space.
He was busy in the kitchen, talking to you mindlessly as he worked. All the better for your cause, giddily kicking off your low heels as you perused the apartment. It felt like a man’s apartment, a little dark and sparse as far as decor went, and it smelled distinctly like herbs and anesthetic more akin to what you would expect of a pharmacy or apothecary than a home. 
His cat chirped pleasantly from where it lay stretched across the couch, rising to arch its spine into your touch as you stroked its black fur.
“Don’t tell your dad that I’m redecorating,” you whispered as you sat down the box propped against your hip and produced a pair of stuffed animal cats stitched to be embracing.
The white fur on the toys reminded you a bit of Officer MewMew, but you found them endearing nonetheless, patting them on the head and you continued on your trek of evil. More cheesy stuffed animals, a flowery pink quilt across his bed, an array of girly magazines on the back of his toilet to match the pink toilet seat cover you placed.
By the time you returned from your side quest he was waiting for you by the table, eyeing the new creatures that sat on his couch curiously. 
“Looks like you’ve been…redecorating.” 
You smiled at him sweetly, “I just thought you could use a woman’s touch in here, isn’t it cute?” You reached into the box you still carried, dropping it to the side as you produced one last trick form your theoretical hat. A little fern in a pink pot bounced merrily in your hand. 
“It’s a baby fern to mark the budding growth of our relationship! Just like us it will need lots of tender love and care to thrive.”
You placed it dead center on the table.
“And now you will have something to remind you of us all the time.”
Ugh, it made you want to hurl how silly and empty headed you had to act, but it was all for the glory of the hunt you reminded yourself. You had put up with some real bullshit in the past and still been hung out to dry, this was just a little payback inflicted upon a member of mankind.
He smiled and graciously accepted, but you could see the concern swimming in the hues of honey in his eyes as he pulled your chair out for you to sit. 
“Yup, I’m a lucky guy for sure.”
He was ready to let it pass, the archery finals were about to start any minute and dinner was ready. Sure your change in attitude was a little…unique, but maybe you were just having an off night.
You sniffled and he paused, practically covering over his seat as he looked up at you. You sniffled again, fanning at your eyes.
“What’s wrong, (y/n)?”
“Nothing, nothing, it’s perfect just—,”
“Just..?”
You blew your nose dramatically into your napkin as you turned your head away, voice warbling with tears. “I don’t eat meat.”
It was like being hit by a truck, his eyes bouncing between the precisely crafted chicken dish on your plate to your quivering shoulders and reddened eyes. 
“A full week off, no questions asked. A full week off, no questions asked.” It was a mantra running through his head on repeat as he sat beside you in a tiny booth at the nearest vegan restaurant to his apartment.
He didn’t mind it he guessed, though as he picked through the tofu bowl sitting in front of him he couldn’t help but be a little disappointed at the thought of the chicken now chilling in his fridge.
You seemed appeased though, your knee brushing against his under the table as you picked your own meal quietly. The waitress stopped by the table, topping off your glass of water.
“Something wrong with your meal, hon?” She asked, eyeing you curiously.
“No, no.” You answered quietly before he watched your face contort, your pitch rising into a sobbing tone as you threw your fork down.
“My boyfriend thinks I’m fat! And I can’t eat in front of him.”
“What!?” He said incredulously as you shot up from your seat, hands covering your face as you rushed into the bathroom at the back of the restaurant.
You locked yourself in a stall, wiping away your fake tears as you pulled up the stream of the archery finals for the night. Ah, what a disappointing loss for your favored archer, but you were sure that he was still having a better time than what your date was having as he sat in the dining room now, certainly insisting that he has never called you fat a day in your life.
The walk back from the restaurant was quiet. He seemed tired even as you followed him back into his apartment and flopped down onto his couch. The archery finals for the night blazed to life across his TV screen.
“I’m sorry we missed the finals tonight.” You apologized with your sweetest tone.
He sighed. “It’s okay, baby, let’s just see what happens.”
You scooted closer to him on the couch, a hand coming down to squeeze his thigh. He looked at you with a surprised expression, eyes widening behind dark lashes as you flipped yourself onto his lap. You loosened his tie as you popped the buttons on his shirt open down to his belt, nails trailing down the expanse of his stomach as he shuddered. 
You kissed him, and he keened into your lips, hand coming to knot into your hair as you tugged his bottom lip between your teeth. You wiggled your hips against his lap, savoring the way his hand flexed against the meat of your thigh.
“What’s wrong, is somebody a wittle pent up?”
The baby talk took him by surprise, not really something he found to be attractive but if you were gonna shove your tongue into his mouth the way you just did and pull his hair well—some things could be overlooked in favor of others.
You broke from his lips, kissing down the side of his neck and to his clavicle, teeth nipping at his pale and tender skin. You were a vixen in your own right as you slid from his lap to your knees, a trail of kisses pressed from his sternum to his belt where your fingers deftly pulled the buckle loose. 
“Poor wittle Haru~,” you cooed as you rested your cheek against his thigh and stared up at him from under your lashes, toying with his zipper. His body tensed as you palmed him through his pants, his hand curling into your hair as his breathing became labored. 
“Does our little pwincess wanna come out and play~?”
You blinked in surprise at how quickly you were on your feet, his hands bracing your arms. His cheeks were dusted a hearty pink, the flush carried to his ears and the heady way his eyes dilated. He swallowed thickly.
“Please don’t do that.”
You cocked your head to the side dumbly. “Do what?”
You could practically see the internal war raging in his mind as he let out a shaky breath. There was no reasonable way he could explain it and not sound fucking insane.
“Please do not name my, uh,” he cleared his throat as he broke eye contact, “unmentionables.”
On the inside you were dying with laughter, struggling to keep your face straight as he fumbled around. So you pouted instead.
“Are you mad at me?”
His head hung in defeat. “No, I’m not mad at you.”
He was scrambling for an out, lost somewhere between hot and bothered and terribly disturbed by the tragic way events unfolded.
 “Ohh would you look at the time,” he said glancing momentarily at the watch that wasn’t on his wrist before quickly snapping his hand back to his side. “You should really head home for the night, can’t have you wandering the streets too late. Someone might try to snatch you up or something.”
Was it bad that he momentarily thought it might not be all bad if you got kidnapped? They would definitely return you within an hour, just long enough for the casual and flirty you to vanish like a werewolf morphing under the moonlight into whatever you were now. 
“I guess so…” your tone was mournful as he ushered you to the door and made sure you had all of your belongings. 
You stood in the hallway outside his door, he still looked like a flushed mess as he leaned against the doorframe. 
“Goodnight then, Haru.”
“Goodnight, (y/n). Get home safely.”
Day Five - Make Him Your “Cool Boy”
He desperately wanted to call it quits, throw in the towel and run away from you as fast as his legs could carry him. Did you have a split personality or did you just fall and hit your head and not receive medical attention sometime after you two first met? It was a toss up in his mind, but every day that he walked back into the office and saw the smirking expression of Tsukishiro as she asked, “How’s your girlfriend?” his pride would rear its ugly head and will him to continue. 
It hadn’t even been a full week, he could handle a few more days. Then he made the mistake of answering his phone. 
“Goodmorning Haru-waru~.”
Jesus Christ, maybe he was wrong. He was pretty sure his eyes rolled into the back of his skull as he pinched the bridge of his nose that was still bandaged from the movie date. You on the other hand had to mute your end of the call for the roar of laughter that came from Zhu Yuan who sat in your office listening in to your psychological torture fest. 
He met Tsukishiro’s eye from across the room, a forced smile coming to his face as he waved and stood up to take his call in the hallway. 
“Goodmorning, baby.” It sounded forced and he had to bite his tongue to make his tone sound more pleasant. “What’s up?”
“Oh you know, I was just thinking about you and how I got these tickets from a friend.” You baited, the tickets pinched between your fingers tapping against the smooth top of your desk. “The seats aren’t as good as the ones from the other night, but I thought you might wanna join me?”
He was torn, but relented, praying he wasn’t making a horrible mistake. 
“What time?”
You were beaming as you waved at him. You were like a toxic fume disguised a breath of fresh air, hair and makeup done cutely. For a moment he willed himself to think the original you was back from the coy way you spoke, how you curled a lock of your hair around your finger as you walked arm-in-arm.
His reminder of your wicked nature came five minutes into the Astra Yao concert he now stood in the middle of, the base from the speakers rattling his bones as the crowd roared alongside the music.
You looked thrilled, bouncing beside him as you sang along to every song. It really was a treat for you to get to see her after all, and you wouldn’t disclose how much you spent to secure your tickets but it didn’t matter. 
You were radiant under the purple and white stadium lights, your lip gloss shining as it caught the light. Your eyes were closed behind the ridiculous purple heart-shaped sunglasses some other girl in the crowd had handed you, an invisible microphone in your hand as you lived like no one was watching for just a moment. Maybe you seemed crazy, but did that really matter? He wouldn’t be hanging around much longer anyways. You could see the threads of his sanity snapping away with each passing day.
But today he was quiet as he watched you with a reverence your eyes wouldn’t see, the concert nothing shy of background noise compared to the beating of his heart in his ears and the slightly off-key sound of your voice as you sang and grew more hoarse by the minute. It was like wearing a pair of rose colored glasses, your previous infractions melting out of his mind as a glimpse of the real you shined through.
His ears were ringing as he followed you out of the venue at the end of the concert, a ridiculously glittery Astra Yao t-shirt now layered over his original shirt to match the one you donned. Your palm was warm clasped in his own as you pulled him through the crowd. 
He forgot all about the archery finals till the patrons filtered out of the Reverb Arena onto the shared street, excitedly chattering about the winning shot.
Your head whipped over your shoulder as you smiled at him, sunglasses now perched on your head. “Wasn’t that fun?”
He didn’t have a chance to answer before you cut him off.
“Let’s make sure to play some of her songs at our wedding!”
And just like that those rose colored glasses shattered with frightening speed.
Day Six - Sabotage His Reputation at Work
His mind was a muddled mess as he sat listlessly at his desk the next day. Your unpredictability had not only shaken him to the core but disturbed him so deeply he was now in a constant state of unsteadiness, torn between wanting to chase that sliver of you that made his heart race and wanting to run from the other part that made him want to tear out his hair in frustration. 
He pondered texting you, calling you even, but he didn’t know why. He sighed loudly, throwing his phone onto his desk as his head flopped over the back of his chair.
“Everything alright, Asaba?”
He glanced up at Yanagi, a cup of coffee waving temptingly in her hand as she placed it on his desk. “You look tired.”
“You have no idea.” He thanked her for the coffee, pulling the lid off as he took a sip. It was hot and bitter against his tongue, a soothing taste sure to inspire a short burst of vitality to his morning.
He didn’t bother to glance up as the door to the Section 6 suite hissed open.
“Goodmorning, Haru~.”
He sputtered and choked as he sucked coffee down his windpipe, quickly putting the cup down as he practically jumped from his seat. 
“(y/n)!” He chimed back in a poor attempt to match your excitement as he hissed through his teeth. “What are you doing here?”
It was a shame you looked as cute as you did today, a perfect black plaid patterned skirt suit hugging your body just right as you practically bounced to his desk, pushing a stack of papers to the side as you perched on his desk with a smile.
“I just wanted to see you, silly!” 
Oh. How lucky. 
Everyone in the office was fully tuned into your conversation now, some (ahem, Soukaku and Miyabi) more obviously than others. 
“I brought you a present by the way.” You reached into the large tote bag that you had brought along with you, producing a black plaid shirt that matched your own outfit. 
“Here! Put it on!”
There was no getting out of it, you had practically dragged him closer as you tossed the shirt over his shoulders and forcefully helped him drag his arms through the sleeves as you buttoned it all the way up to his neck.
“My, Asaba, you’re certainly a vision in plaid.”
He glared at Tsukishiro over your shoulder, his eyes rolling fiercely at her jab before you drew his attention back to yourself. 
“We are gonna make such a cute family of four.” You squealed.
“Family of four?”
You nodded as you reached into your bag once more, drawing out the long orange body of a medium haired cat in a little black plaid vest. A golden tag dangled off its collar, its name carved into the metal in a curling script.
Princess.
He felt his stomach drop. 
“I got one for the other cat too so we can all match for family photos!”
“Family photos!” Soukaku squealed from her desk. 
He gripped your shoulders with a forced smile. “Can we talk outside? It would be bad if we interrupted office workflow after all.” 
“Oh, no need, I’ve gotta run back to work. Duty calls!” You giggled as you placed Princess in his arms, reaching up to press a kiss to his cheek, your lipstick staining his cheek a pretty shade of rose. 
“Watch our baby girl for me! Toodles!”
You pranced out of the office with a giggle, the door sliding shut behind you before it quickly reopened.
“Hold on, (y/n)!” 
You paused in your step, glancing at his disheveled state with the warmest smile you could muster. 
“Yes, Haru?”
“I won’t be able to hang out tomorrow afternoon,” he said, Princess struggling in his arms for a moment as he readjusted his grip on her. “Some of my old friends from PubSec wanted to get together and have a game night, you don’t mind do you?”
“Of course not!” You said with a smile. “You boys have fun.”
He looked relieved as you turned away to leave, flipping your hair over your shoulder. The stupid smile on your face faded so quickly you felt like a true psychopath for a fleeting moment. 
Day Seven - Become the Psycho Girlfriend of his Nightmares
“I don’t know what this guy’s problem is,” you bemoaned, popping another cheeseball into your mouth. 
The roof of your apartment building was a pleasant place to be on a day off, lounging on the deck chairs as the sun warmed your skin.
Zhu Yuan laid beside you in her own chair, her eyes closed behind her sunglasses as she shrugged. “Maybe he’s a little mental?”
“There is no history of mental health conditions in his medical file.” Chimed Qingyi from your other side where she sat crossed legged. 
You frowned. “No need to violate HIPAA for the sake of this conversation, Qingyi.” 
She shrugged.
“But seriously, I’m not making things even remotely easy and he still hasn’t called it quits. I’ve been clingy, ruined the archery finals multiple times, accused him of calling me fat in public, been overly emotional. Damn, he even got his nose busted over a date with me.” You huffed irritably, crunching another cheeseball between your teeth.
“I just don’t get it, what else am I supposed to do?”
“When do you see him again?” Zhu Yuan asked, her head rolling in your direction as she held out a hand. You shook a few cheeseballs into her waiting palm.
“Tomorrow.”
“Not tonight?”
You shook your head. “No, he’s got a boy’s night planned.”
Zhu Yuan practically launched herself upward, flipping her glasses onto her head. “Boy’s night, surely you don’t intend to let him off that easy.”
You pursed your lips before a wicked smile morphed onto your face. “You’re right, what would he be without me?”
There were eighteen missed calls on his answering machine when he returned home, four playing through as he fed the cats that rubbed incessantly against his legs begging for his attention. It was fortunate that Princess had an agreeable nature, it would have been a shame to rehome her if she had clashed with his own cat.
“Haru, are you home?”
“I miss you~”
“Pick up the phone, Haru!”
“I just wanna know how your day was my handsome boy~”
He paused the message playback as a knock sounded at his door. Seemed like the first of his guests had arrived, a perfect excuse to forget your incessant tone.
Everything seemed to be going quite well, conversation flowing easily over the passing of cards and bets placed in poor, alcohol-addled states of mind. He refrained once more, sipping on another bitter seltzer as he fanned out his cards. A good hand, he was feeling lucky.
Or he did before his front door swung open. 
“Hi boys!” You chirped. 
He folded his hand immediately, an expression of fear flashing through his eyes as he gritted his teeth. You waltzed right in, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 
“Heyy, (y/n). I thought we weren’t seeing each other tonight—,”
“Oh, we weren’t, but then I was just thinking you might need some snacks for game night!”
You practically stared daggers into the befuddled faces of some of your very own N.E.P.S officers that sat around the table. They will definitely think you are a nutcase after tonight, but internal PR was a small price to pay.
You pranced to the kitchen, your tone cheery as you babytalked to the cats that prowled after you. You could hear the muted conversation from the kitchen where you fished through his cabinets for a plate and serving utensils.
“She’s something alright.” 
“If something means psycho then…”
“Easy now, she’s not that bad.” You were surprised to hear him defending you, albeit poorly.
“C’mon man, don’t kid yourself.”
You came out of the kitchen just in time to see Harumasa’s shoulders sag as he nodded, hands rising to rub his face.
“She might be a little…”
“A little what?” You hissed from where you stood, plate of cookies in your hand. You looked like a disgruntled housewife, the kind that poisons her husband and buries him beneath the roses in the backyard.
“Asaba Harumasa,” your tone sent shivers down his spine, venom dripping from your tongue as you stared him down, slowly approaching the table like a predatory cat. 
“It’s okay sweetie, you can tell me. Go ahead, say you think I’m some kind of psycho bitch!” Your pitch rose to a yell as you flipped the plate in your hand for good measure, cookies scattering everywhere as each man at the table recoiled. 
The waterworks came next as the plate clattered to the floor, your hands rising to hide your face as you willed tears to your eyes. 
“I have tried so hard to be a good, attentive girlfriend but you just think I’m crazy.” You sobbed, catching a glimpse of the silly fern in the pink pot you had left in his care days ago. Its leaves were wilted.
“Did you ever want this relationship to work?” You accused, angrily wiping your ‘tears’ as you pointed at the plant. “You even let our love fern die, how can I trust you to take this relationship seriously?”
He was stirred into a panic now, rising from his seat. “It was an accident, I got busy with work and forgot to water it is all.”
“I told you a relationship takes tender love and care. Care does not mean forgetting to water it!” 
You wiped your tears and stifled your sniffles, raising your head proudly. “Consider us, over.”
You stormed out the door and down the hall, and as soon as the elevator shut behind you you laughed like a maniac. Oh the sweet taste of release. You deserved an award for your performance.
Meanwhile he stood in the carnage of your departure, mentally counting the days in his head. Seven. He was still several days shy of his bet with Tsukishiro.
“Lucky, she saw herself out, wait—you’re not thinking of stopping her, right?”
“I just need three more days,” he whipped around as he grabbed his friend by the shoulders, “what do girls like to hear at times like this?”
You felt liberated as you stepped onto the street. Finally you had shaken yourself free of the burden you had placed upon yourself. There was almost a skip in your step as you turned to walk home.
“(Y/n), wait!”
Your stomach plummeted. You didn’t even want to turn around, didn’t intend to until his hand circled your wrist with a gentle grasp.
“I am so sorry, I would do anything to make it up to you.” 
You rolled your eyes as you shook your head, wrenching your wrist free. “It’s too late for that, Asaba.”
Ouch, back to last name basis. This was worse than he thought.
“Why don’t we go to couple’s therapy?” 
The very words felt bitter on his tongue, quietly instilling both of you with profound dread.
You turned over your shoulder, voice teary. “You would do that for me?”
He nodded.
Shit. Guess both of you were still stuck. 
Day Eight - Couples Therapy
His stomach felt sick all night and he couldn’t sleep, a shared sentiment occurring in your own bed several streets away as you tossed and turned. 
He’s unshakeable, and you needed to find an out. 
That’s why you stood in front of a sterile door in your well pressed skirt suit, Harumasa anxiously stirring at your side. “Thank you for suggesting this,” you murmured as you knocked on the door. “It makes me feel like you actually care.”
The door opened as you bit your tongue to suppress the grin that threatened to crease your cheeks. 
Qingyi stood in the doorway, a pair of comically large glasses perched on her nose and her hair pulled tightly back. She looked more like some sort of cult member than a therapist with the unique oversized smock she wore. 
Harumasa’s brow furrowed. “Are you the doctor..?”
Qingyi nodded, “Yes, now come in, we have a lot to discuss.”
The conversation devolved rapidly once you actually sat down. You poured out a dramatized version of the truth, tears streaming down your cheeks as your mascara smeared. He was lost somewhere between fighting for his life defending his actions and trying to comfort you. 
Qingyi was playing her role beautifully, hell she even opened the door for you to accuse him of trying to flirt with her before she turned up the heat and began to put pressure on him.
“He’s just so distant, he won’t even tell me about the things he likes!” You cried, blowing your nose dramatically into another one of half the tissue box you had already gone through.
“Fine! Fine, I’ll take you out and show you. Just please stop crying.”
Your tears dried immediately, casting a glance at Qingyi who simply nodded.
“A couples weekend to grow closer, I think it’s an excellent idea.”
You cursed her a little internally as you walked out the door. 
Day Nine - Doing Things He Enjoys..?
The scent of seawater met your nose as you stepped out of the car, the wind off the ocean tugging at your meticulously fixed hair as you watched the boats at the dock bob over the waves.
When he told you he would take you to do things he enjoyed you weren’t anticipating to end up here, but there was a palpable shift in his attitude as he pulled the camera from the backseat and raised it to peer through the viewfinder, the shutter clicking loudly as he took a picture of the sun rising over the distant horizon.
The tiny smile on his lips painted his features with a serene expression, the sun painting his cheeks in a shade of gold that could rival the saturation of his eyes as the sea breeze ruffled his already unruly hair.
You watched him silently. It felt like an intrusion for you to be standing here with him, a feeling that never left even as he turned his warm expression in your direction, beckoning you to follow him as he walked towards the dock.
You half expected him to walk down the actual dock, not for him to pause at the edge of the railing to kick his shoes off before climbing over it in favor of the thin band of sand lining the rocky outcropping that the lighthouse sat upon.
“Don’t wanna get your shoes wet,” he stated simply as he offered you a hand over the rail to follow him. 
The water lapped past the rocks and onto the sand, the gritty substance soft and soggy under your bare feet as you picked along the nondescript beach until it turned into a bank of slippery black rocks.
You paused just shy of the terminus of the rocks, watching him look thoughtfully over the water as he raised his camera again. 
You wondered what went through his mind. Photography was never your strong suit, you lacked a discerning eye for beauty like that captured in a still life. Your eyes danced over the waterline, willing yourself to see some deeper artistic vision like whatever had caught his fancy.
The camera shuttered again, and you turned to look at him only to be met with the shiny black lens of his camera as he brought it down from his eye. 
“I like that one.” He mused, clicking back through the saved photos as he turned the screen to show you the pensive image of yourself, hair wild in the wind, face bathed in gold contrasting the harsh black of the rocky bank you stood on. He turned it back to himself, dropping the camera to hang around his neck. 
“It looks like you.”
For a moment it crossed your mind that he had found you out, exposing some chink in your carefully fabricated armor to protect your heart in the little game you had subjected him to. You swallowed thickly, avoiding his gaze.
“Of course it looks like me.” You muttered as if it was an obvious observation. 
You stayed at the Port till the afternoon sun blazed high overhead, your skin sandy and fingertips greasy from the basket of fries you shared with him as you dangled your feet off the edge of the dock. You had long given up on your looks, the wind from the top of the lighthouse where he took you having ruffled your hair in a way so attractive that you thought it safer to knot it upon your head with a hair tie than let it hang free a moment longer.
When he told you he had another place to take you afterwards it took you by surprise. Had he actually taken that ridiculous therapy session seriously? Ah, you were starting to feel guilty again.
The cityscape gave way to a lush road lined with trees before you pulled over again in a gravel parking lot. It was largely empty, the chirping of crickets meeting your ears as the trees rustled in the gentle wind. A rusted sign stood by the road announcing it as a shooting range. 
“You ever shot a bow?” He called to you. 
“Can’t say I have.” 
You heard the car door shut, eyes catching on the longbow resting in his hand as he walked to your side, looking down at you with a grin that actually met his eyes. 
“Well, do you want to?”
The target stood a reasonable way down the green from where you stood. His weapon of choice felt heavier in your hands than you expected, the grips worn and a variety of scuffs decorating the metallic surface. You had watched plenty of archery matches, but actually doing it was a little more daunting than you imagined, less “pull and shoot” than you were expecting. 
“You okay over there?” He asked from the sidelines. You could feel his eyes burning holes in your back. No pressure.
You nodded as you lifted the bow, arrow already nocked as you drew back the string. You could feel the flexure of your muscles all the way to your shoulders, a quiver rattling through your forearm at the strain. You didn’t know how many pounds it was, but it was enough that your lack of practice with such an instrument showed rather evidently. You were ready to drop your aim before his hands steadied your grip, circling you from either side.
You turned your head slightly, bumping into his chest before you felt your heart race, his arms warm where they brushed your own. 
“You’re almost there.” He hummed in your ear, fingers hooking just above yours on the string. The weight suddenly vanished as he easily drew the string taut, his other hand anchoring it still.
“Now just look down the sight and aim where you please.”
You swallowed thickly, nodding as you followed his instructions, the colorful rings of the target appearing under your gaze as you gently redirected the position of the arrow.
“Just say the word.” He added, watching the concentrated look on your face with a fond look. 
“Now.” You breathed, fingers releasing from the bowstring in tandem with his own as the arrow whistled down the green. 
“That’ll be a two.” He observed aloud, the orange tail of the practice arrow you shot seated just shy of the black margin line. His free hand subconsciously rested against your arm, thumb brushing your skin.
“Not bad for a beginner?” You asked hopefully as you peered up at him.
“Not bad at all.”
You spent the rest of the day at the range, the sun sinking below the horizon line as you drove back into the city. Some part of you was disappointed to see the day end, it had been a breath of fresh air to experience an easy day alongside him. 
You would hate to admit that when he put the car in park as asked you if you wanted to take a walk with him that you were actually excited.
It was against everything you had promised to yourself and Zhu Yuan when you accepted her challenge, but the taste of your strawberry soda was sweeter against your tongue when you sat under the lowlight of the playground by the water, legs dangling off the side of a broken down one-Denny ride with him perched at your side. 
“Thanks for joining me,” he murmured as he pressed his own bottle to his lips. 
“And thank you for letting me tag along today,” came your reply, buttery smooth as you mimicked his actions. “It was…nice.”
You actually meant it, a warm feeling bubbling in your gut as the admission met the wind. 
“It was nice being around you, the real you, for the day.” He picked at the label on his drink as you stared at him owlishly. “Don’t act so surprised, it’s not hard to realize you’ve been masking a lot of things once you open up. You're a little too honest when you aren’t faking it.” 
You opened your mouth to retort but he beat you to it.
“You’re cuter when you aren’t pretending to be someone else.”
Your head hung a bit lower as you downed the last sip of your drink, discarding the bottle by your feet as if it were liquid courage and not a sweet, syrupy concoction. 
“Do you really mean it?” You asked weakly, shivering as you felt his warm fingertips graze your skin as he tucked a stray hair behind your ear. His fingertips trailed down the curve of your ear to your jawline, drawing your chin up to face him.
He was closer than you thought he was, his thumb brushing your lower lip, breath warm as it fanned your cheeks. He didn’t answer you directly as he leaned into your lips, hands warm as they cupped your cheeks tenderly.
You were sure you would melt into a puddle, filtering through his fingers like the pile of rotten mush you were  for how poorly you had treated him in the last few days. Surely you didn’t deserve the tender way he kissed you, the breathy sigh that parted your lips dousing his own in the strawberry-tinted taste of your surrender as you kissed him back with the same gentleness he offered you. 
For him to claim a dislike for sweet things his kiss was anything but bitter in your mind, while his own simply pondered the fact that syrupy sweet had never been more tolerable than when it dripped off your lips and teased his tongue.
You were regretful when you parted, lips still tingling as you caught your breath. 
“I should take you home.” He whispered into the air between you.
The ride to your place was silent, but you didn’t regret what transpired at the park as you chewed your lip thoughtfully. 
You still didn’t have any regrets when you hesitated to get out, inviting him upstairs with a spark of hope burning inside your chest that you wished he would douse once and for all by denying your request. 
You didn’t regret holding his hand as you guided him to your bathroom, when you let him slide your t-shirt over your head as you helped him out of his own, when you kissed him like you meant it as you backed him into the warm spray of your shower, the tickling scent of sweat and seawater intensified before it washed away under the hardwater. 
You wouldn’t regret a single moment of letting him ravish you with an affection you’d never experienced, one laced with longing and appreciation for each inch of your body that passed under calloused fingertips, one that surpassed anything spoken that could be retracted with a breath.
You would only regret any creeping memory of the distressed looks you had cast onto his gentle features in the past, painting over them with a glaze of the love and pleasure stricken expressions that pinched his brow as you indulged in each other at the most carnal of levels. Whispers of adoration pressed to your skin that made your toes curl and made the sickly knot of pleasure in your gut twist all the tighter as you sought a release that only he could provide you as you drowned in the intense wave of his silent affections.  
Day Ten - Break his Heart
Every coin has a flip side, like how every story has an opposing view. Maybe he was simply your mirror in that, or that was what you willed yourself to think as you stared down the hurt that burned in his golden eyes. You were sure you looked none the better if the hot anger that surged in your veins had anything to say about it. 
This wasn’t at all how you imagined it going, but maybe you had just been lying to yourself the whole time just as he had done.
Zhu Yuan’s expression looked stricken, Tsukishiro’s cool if not a little surprised as she shook her head.
“Pardon the interruption.” The pink haired deputy Chief said as she swiftly dismissed herself from the scene, Zhu Yuan shuffling away in a similar apologetic fashion. 
You wished your own feet would carry you far away from here, to turn tail and run like the coward you were when it came to confrontations you couldn’t control. If you ran would it change anything? Would it soothe the ache of guilt and the harsh throb of heartbreak? You knew the answer to that well enough as your fingers tightened around your purse strap, convincing yourself that their accidental revelation was for the better despite the despicable feeling that welled up in your chest. 
“So.”
“So.” He parroted with a similarly bitter tone, lips drawn into a thin line. 
“Was it worth it?” 
He scoffed. “You’re gonna ask me that? Last time I checked intentionally being insane as a dig back at mankind as a whole is a little worse than a stupid deal for some time off.”
Your pride wouldn’t allow you to back down even if his words rang soundly in your ears. “But that was the point wasn’t it? You were no more innocent than every other asshole who strung me along and ditched me like an old toy when something better came along.” You seethed. 
“Coming after me for the sake of a bet with a timeline like that proves it enough for me. So let’s just cut the crap and get this over with.”
Your expression was icy as you met his eyes, steeling yourself. 
“It meant nothing to me, and I never want to see you again.”
Something crumpled in his chest, but he didn’t show it, simply nodding. “Fine. Do us both a favor and lose my number.” 
And nine days of intimate torment died on the gritty sidewalk like a tortured animal, both of you turning away without looking back.
You would save yourself the dignity to do so later in the silence of your own home, to let the guilt of your actions bubble over the waterline of your lashes as your heart broke all over again in the same foolish way you swore not to allow this time as quiet pleas for his forgiveness pressed past your lips.
You wouldn’t know of the numb way he sat on his couch when he finally arrived home, the lithe body of Princess rubbing against his shin as the feline begged for an affection he couldn’t muster.
There was a meticulously crafted wall around his heart, or there had been before you managed to breach it, one placed with the intent to deflect anything meaningful so he wouldn’t have to die with any regrets should his state of being decline rapidly. With it now in tatters his chest felt heavier than ever as he curled into himself, face buried into his hands as he forced himself to breath deeply and will away any thought of the softness of your touch or how treacherously you had warmed his heart in the exact way he had tried to prevent each time he felt a relationship teetering near anything past a casually physical state.
Day Eleven
Work felt like a chore, your eyes dry, tired and puffy as you stared blankly at your computer screen. Anything laborious would have to take a backburner this time, as your brain was still too addled from crying yourself to sleep like a real slob to handle anything too intensive when it came to thought. 
Sure others had noticed, but they didn’t ask questions, opting to give you space instead of intruding upon your foul mood. It left your day rather silent, a breeding ground for getting lost in your own thoughts which was exactly what you didn't want right now.
Your secretary shuffled into the room hesitantly. 
“Commander, you have a visitor.”
“Tell them to come back another day.” You replied flatly, clicking aimlessly on your screen.
“I did but it’s an officer from the HSO. Says it’s urgent.” 
Your stomach flipped unpleasantly. You had a crawling notion of who it might be.
“Let them in.” 
The secretary nodded, disappearing from your sight before your guest entered silently.
“Commander.” 
“What business do you have here, Asaba?” Your tone was icy and sharp, not bothering to look in his direction as you busied yourself with the same menial task that had plagued you for the past hour.
“Not looking at me is a new low, even for you.” 
You frowned, shooting a glare in his direction as you turned to face him fully. He looked messy, but when did he not? Eyebags weren’t even unfamiliar for him, but the spiderwebs of tired veins that snakes across his sclera were even if you were sitting too far to see the bloodshot nature.
“If it isn’t urgent then we have no business to discuss, and you need to leave.”
“It is important,” he interjected as he pulled something from his pocket, a thin photo that he flipped in your direction.
It was the picture of you that he took at Port Elpis.
“I’m calling you on your shit,” he declared firmly as he approached your desk, dropping the picture right in front of you as he planted his palms on the flat surface, staring you down.
“False pretenses or not, the past ten days weren’t meaningless to you.” He pressed, eyes not wavering from where they locked with your own. “I refuse to believe it’s left you unaffected, because I’ve been sick over you every hour since then.”
A shaky breath sucked between his teeth, his eyes darting to your lips that quivered despite your best efforts. 
“I just don’t think it’s possible that you’ve charmed me as one-sidedly as you’re trying to let on.”
You couldn’t escape his gaze if you wanted to, as staring down at your neatly folded hands only brought the hazy gold kissed image of you by the ocean he had taken, a picture taken under the same eye you had admired for its ability to scrutinize and capture beauty in its most raw and unfiltered state. A lens that had snatched your moment of contemplation in a clutch of unabashed appreciation, a diamond picked from the rough of days of undue torture.
So you didn’t run from it anymore, turning your chin up from where it had sunk as you met his gaze head on, a rueful smile gracing your lips.
“Am I that bad of a liar?”
His mouth felt dry, heart racing in his ears as he studied your resigned expression. You looked serene as your gaze cast back down to your fingers, toying with your cuticles. 
“You made me break my one rule for my little experiment. Don’t fall in love.” Your tone was still laced in bitterness, a hand raising to dab at the corner of your eyes at the admission. 
“I assure you, I’ll be slower to forgive myself for hurting you than you would be. You’re a good person, Asaba. You deserve only the best the world has to offer you, and I’m sorry that couldn’t be me.” Your eyes were the clearest he had ever seen as you looked up at him, a warmth still radiating from the depths of your irises as you smiled sadly. 
“Don’t call me that.” His voice was hushed and gentle like the finger that brushed your cheek, a stray tear smearing across your cheek. “I don’t want you to be distant anymore, I think we are past that now.”
Your lips pursed as you drew a shaky breath, the warmth of his hand still lingering on your skin. “Haru, I am so sorry for hurting you.”
His apology came whispered against your skin as he cupped your cheeks in his palms, warm kisses pressed against your forehead, your cheek, the tip of your nose before his forehead came to rest against your own.
“I’ll beg for your forgiveness too,” he murmured against your lips. “Because I don’t think I can let you go that easily.”
A silence fell between you cut only by the soft sounds of your mingled breathing, his skin still warm against your own as you leaned fully into his touch, eyes fluttering shut as you pressed a kiss to the side of his fingers. 
“Then let’s start fresh.” You offered. “Single?”
A toothy smile cracked his lips, his pointed canines as pronounced as ever. 
“Currently.”
“Interested?”
“Definitely.”
“Want to kiss me?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Tumblr media
Rey 2025
353 notes · View notes
leiascully · 25 days ago
Note
post all things love confession?
Please enjoy way too many words of my 800th fic to be posted to AO3 based on a weird timeline where "all things" is the first and only time they've slept together (okay it's not that weird but it's weird for me since I believe in the Season of Secret Sex).
“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” Scully said abruptly.
Mulder leaned back in his chair. “That could cover a multitude of sins.”
She gave him a brief smile. “I suppose what I mean to say is I’ve been thinking about what I said.”
“I’m all ears.” He laced his hands behind his head. “Talk to me, Scully.”
“The choices we’ve made,” she said, and then fell silent. He waited for a moment, but he’d seen that look before. She was lost in the labyrinth of her thoughts. He understood. It was a strange conversation to have under the fluorescent lights of their basement office. They saved most of their emotional communications for the shadows, as if the words they said at midnight couldn’t survive after the sunshine.
“The ones that brought us here,” he prompted.
She seemed to come back to herself. “Yes. I just wanted you to know that I don’t regret my choices, Mulder.”
He discarded three or four witty remarks. There was something about her face that deterred him, some tension between her eyebrows or at the corner of her mouth. He couldn’t explain how or why he understood her; he knew her by heart.
Now she was the one waiting for his response. “That’s comforting to hear,” he said at last. “We’ve been through the wringer, so to speak.”
“I mean, there are small choices I regret,” she said, a spark of humor in her eye. “Getting tuna salad instead of a French dip yesterday. Not buying stock in IBM. But the big things, the choices that brought me to you, the choices that brought us here… I don’t regret those.”
“I’d choose you every time,” he said carefully.
“I know,” she said. She blew out a breath. “God, it seems so silly.”
“What does?”
She gestured vaguely between them. “I choose you. You choose me. It seems, I don’t know, shallow in some way? To put words to it.”
“I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.” He shifted in his chair, tipping forward.
She sighed. “Maybe I don’t either.”
He was quiet for a long minute. “It is good to know you don’t regret your choices. I wasn’t sure, the other night. When I, uh, woke up alone.”
“It wasn’t about that, Mulder,” she said, looking away.
“It felt a little regretful,” he pushed.
When she looked back, the blue of her eyes was the ocean and he was drowning. “I wanted so badly to wake up in your arms, Mulder. I was afraid I wanted it more than anything else in my life. It’s all I’ve thought about the last few days. What it was like. What happens next.”
“Oh,” he said. He had the sense that the rest of the world had fallen away. There was only him and Scully, only this room.
“Every time Skinner asks me a question, I’m terrified about what I might say accidentally,” she admitted in a wry voice. “I’m sure he suspects, but I find myself so possessive of our privacy.”
“For all that we’re usually alone, it does seem like we’re lacking in privacy,” he agreed. “Skinner may not be the main offender, but he has been known to hang around the water cooler, if you know what I mean.”
“I’d prefer that Skinner not join us in the bedroom.” She smirked at him a little.
“I wasn’t aware that was an option.” He looked at her, relishing the glint in her eyes. “Scully, I’m glad to hear you don’t wish it hadn’t happened, but I’m not entirely sure what we’re talking about.”
She sighed. “Mulder, I’ve put my life on the line for you and you’ve done the same for me, more times than I can count.”
He nodded slowly. “Our lives. Our jobs. Our reputations. I’d do it again.”
“We’ve been to the ends of the earth together. We’ve seen things that no one else has even dreamed of. We’ve proved our devotion to each other, over and over.”
“I like to think we have.” His body was tingling. Some sort of nervous system overload, she would tell him. Or maybe a heart attack. But there was no interrupting Scully when she got into a groove like this. It took her a while to build up the momentum and he didn’t want to derail her.
“After all that we’ve been through, it feels almost like an afterthought.”
“What does?”
She almost flinched and then seemed to steel herself. “Saying ‘I love you’.”
Everything stopped, including his heart. “Ah,” he said.
She hunched into herself. Scully got small when she was sad. It stung him. “I did expect a slightly different reaction.”
“It’s just that you’re right,” he said, leaning toward her over the desk. “Everything we’ve been through, you’d think it would be deeper than words. But still, hearing ‘I love you’… it shifts things between us.”
“The same thing they put on the chocolate box,” she said softly.
“How about that,” he said in the same quiet voice. They sat gazing at each other. He would have sworn the stale air of the basement smelled like spring, a breath of damp earth and flowers and beginnings. “But you know you didn’t actually say it.”
She ducked her head and grinned. “Of course you’d notice.”
“I’m a GS-12, Scully. They don’t hand that out for nothing.” He waited.
“I think it counts,” she objected.
“If me saying it after the Queen Mary doesn’t count, that doesn’t count,” he said.
“You were concussed!” She frowned at him. “I thought it was the painkillers talking.”
“You knew it wasn’t,” he said indulgently.
“I hoped it wasn’t,” she corrected. “That isn’t the same thing.”
“You make me a whole person,” he said. “My constant. My touchstone.”
“Panic,” she said. “And head trauma again.”
He shook his head. “I meant it.”
“Say it again,” she said.
“I love you,” he said without hesitation. “What did they say in that awful movie? ‘No ifs, ands, or bees’.”
She narrowed her eyes. Her mouth was tight, but it twitched up at the corners. “You didn’t happen to hit your head this morning, did you?”
“Next time stay over and you can monitor my morning routines,” he said. “No, I didn’t. But you’re free to run your hands through my hair to check for goose eggs. Your preferred method of diagnosis, I believe.”
She ducked her head, chuckling a little. “I love you,” she said.
He smiled at her. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“I love you,” she said again, with wonder in her voice. “I love you.” This time, she got choked up at the end, a light in her eyes brighter than he’d ever seen.
“Hey,” he said gently, getting up from the desk and going to her. He knelt by her table and cradled her face in his hands. She cupped her hands over his. “Scully, hey.”
“I love you,” she said, and now there were tears in her eyes.
“It’s all right,” he said. “I love you too.”
She stifled a sob. “I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s a little overwhelming.”
“Me too,” he said, and eased up to kiss her forehead. “No wonder we kept it under wraps for so long.”
She sighed. He thumbed a tear off her cheek. “God, we’re so stupid.”
“We had our reasons.”
“Mulder, we tried to make a baby together,” she said in an almost plaintive voice. “Who did we think we were fooling?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t say our reasons were valid.”
“I thought it wouldn’t matter, to say those three words,” she said. “After everything we’ve been through. I mean, how many hours in the hospital, holding vigil at each other’s bedsides. How many dinners for two in diners and motel rooms. A hundred times that I said it without saying it.”
“A thousand times.”
“That’s why I left,” she said. Her lips trembled. “I wanted to say it so badly.”
“What were you afraid of?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “That after all this time, it wasn’t good enough, I suppose. Or that the tension between us lately meant it was the wrong choice. Or that it wasn’t what you wanted.”
“Scully, I’ve always wanted you,” he said in a low voice. “I stood on Skyland Mountain and felt my heart rip out of my chest. Nothing that happened between us could ever disappoint me. Especially not what happened the other night.”
She looked into his eyes and nodded. There it was again between them, the understanding that was more than words. He felt the strength of their connection filling him, sustaining him.
“I wouldn’t mind doing it again,” he hazarded. “Maybe even regularly. Indefinitely, if you could fit it into your schedule.”
“I’ll pencil you in,” she said. She tugged at him and he rose, pulling her into his arms as he stood. She fit perfectly against him, the way she always had. He kissed the top of her head.
“Now what?” she said into his chest.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m not really sure how this works. Haven’t had great role models. Maybe we make it up as we go along. We’ve made it this far.”
“Indefinitely,” she said, turning her face up to him. “That sounds a little bit like forever.”
“A lot of things sound like forever when you say them,” he told her.
“Don’t start quoting my senior thesis again,” she teased.
“That’s when I knew you had an affinity for extreme possibilities,” he said. “All I had to do was pull back the curtain.”
“That easy, huh?” She smiled at him and he grinned back. “Speaking of easy, can I buy you dinner?”
“Why, Agent Scully, I thought you’d never ask.” He released her and pulled her jacket off the coat rack, holding it while she shrugged into it. “What’s your pleasure?”
She looked up at him with a sly expression. “I thought we could order in. God knows the delivery guy knows the way to my apartment by now.”
“He definitely thinks we’re dating.” Mulder shrugged on his own jacket.
“Well,” Scully said. “He’s right, I suppose.”
He reached for her hand. “Yeah. We’re dating. Indefinitely.”
“Indefinitely,” she agreed, squeezing his hand, and it sounded like forever and ever.
156 notes · View notes
dumplingsjinson · 1 year ago
Text
List of random dialogue prompts (pt. 3)
“Truth be told? I miss the times — the me — before I fell in love with you.” 
“You know, I can see myself in, on top of, or under you. What do you say?” “I can see you buried six feet under my very feet if you don’t stop joking about this shit with me.” 
“Was there a point when you fell out of love with me?” “There was a point when I fell in love with you, but never out.”
“When did you fall out of love with me?” “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”
“Right person, wrong time… What if this is the right time? We’re just the wrong people for each other.”
“You have me wrapped around your fingers. Crazy part is, I don’t mind it.” 
“Don’t forget this: I made you. I can easily break you if I wanted to.” 
“I shared pieces of me, with so many people, and none of them kept those pieces safe, and I don’t know if I can risk that with you because it would devastate me if you turn out to be the same as them all. I would be completely destroyed.” 
“Don’t give me that look.”
“You okay?” “No. I need hugs. From you. I need you to hug me.” 
“I just wanna fucking get over you so I can be okay again.” 
“Stop trying to remind me that you’re still in my life. I’m trying to not think about you, for God’s sake.”
“I wanna kiss you so badly right now but we’re in public and I know you hate public display of affection—“ “I’ll allow you to do it this time.” “Wait… Really?” 
“I make shitty decisions and you’re a testament to that matter.”
“I have things to do, and most of them include me trying not to think about you.”
“I’ve never cried because of someone, you know? I didn’t have anyone to cry over. You’re the first, and you’ll also be the last, or so God help me through this embarrassment.” 
“Breaking up with me does not mean you had to kick me off your Spotify playlist, you know? Because damn. As much as I’m upset, your list had some bangers.” 
“You don’t get to do decide my feelings for you.” 
“I’m not bitchless, you fucking dickhead. Take that back!” 
“Every little thing reminds me of you, which sucks because you’re not in my life anymore.”
“It’s kinda weird not seeing your name on my phone when I wake up. It’s gonna take me some time to get used to this.”
“I think I knew this wasn’t going to last when I realised it’s not that I trust you. It’s that I don’t care what you do, and who you might be fucking around with.”
“One text from you has me happier than a child whose mother bought them their favourite candy. It’s not okay.” 
“I don’t share my Spotify playlist with just anyone. It’s like a secret love language of mine, reserved for those I want to let in. You’re one of them, yet you’re here thinking I don’t feel the same way about you?”
“I dunno, I just… Kinda fell for you.”
“You’re the reason why I fell in love with you. You, as a whole.” 
“There are some songs that I can’t listen to anymore, because they remind me of you; of all the times we’ve had together. And it sucks because some of them are great songs. And you fucking ruined them, you asshole.”
“I’m tired of acting like I don’t care, because I do. I fucking do, and that’s what makes this even worse.” 
“One thing you should know about me is that I suck at letting go.”
“So you’re telling me I’m supposed to sit here and give a fuck? You couldn’t pay me enough to do that. I have places to be and things to do.” 
“You need to stop being such a dramatic bitch.” “It’s the only way I can entertain myself, okay? Now piss off and leave me be.” 
“Maybe I shouldn’t have let you go.”
“You deserve someone better than me—” “You don’t get to decide that for me.”
“You ever think about how good we could have been together?” “Yeah. I think about it all the time, and then I remember how badly you fumbled. So yeah, good job.”
“You’re blushing.” “I’m not.” “…Then I guess I’ll have to give you something to blush over.”
“I lost myself while trying to find the good in you.”
“I think it’s comforting that they’re somewhere out there… Even if we never speak again, you know? They were a part of my life, even if it was only for a little while. They made me feel good, even if it was only for a short amount of time.” 
“Remember when you said you’d catch me when I fell? Well, you’re a fucking liar. Figuratively and literally. Now I’m hospitalised and also emotionally scarred. I hope you’re fucking happy about that.” 
“If we break up, I’d look for you in other people and be reminded that they are not you, and that I’d never find someone like you again. And… I don’t think I can bear the thought of that.”
“I give you permission to break my heart.” “And I give you permission to end me if I ever do break your heart.” 
“I have things to do—“ “And I’m one of them.”
“You’re only saying sorry because you want to make yourself feel better, so you can go shove that sweet apology up your ass because it doesn’t mean shit. I hope you continue to feel like shit over what you did, because I’m never forgiving you.”
“I had expectations for someone I knew couldn’t meet those expectations, so that’s my fault for expecting anything from you at all.”
“You? Breaking my heart? It’s funny how you think you even have that power over me.”
“You were like a routine that I loved and it felt… comfortable. But I guess that’s not the case anymore.” 
“You fell in love with the idea of someone that wasn’t even real. You fell in love with your own projections. How are you so foolish to think that it would have worked out?”
“I’m fine. Of course I’m fine.” “Everything about this interaction is telling me you’re not fine — not even close.”
“The idea of us was perfect. Blame me for thinking it would turn out into something good and as fantastical as what I made it out to be in my head.”
“Because no matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s about to drive me to the very brink of insanity, so if you’ll excuse me for not wanting to be near you, that would great.”
“I would not be who I am today if not for you.” 
(pt 1.) | (pt. 2)
1K notes · View notes
erule · 6 months ago
Text
Twice
Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Stark!reader
Summary: you and Peter have been rivals for a lot of time, until one day everything changes. But it’s the same old story: you love him, he loves you, then you die and he doesn’t have the chance confess his endless love for you. Or is it?
Warnings: spoilers from Avengers: Endgame, reader is Tony’s daughter, Peter and reader are 18+ here, fluff, a lot of angst, enemies to friends to lovers, happy ending though
Word count: 2084
A/N: Hi! I just wanted to write something after a long time. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think in the comments, if you want 
Taglist: @imawhoreforyou, @blankspaceblankday, @sarahcameronswife, @belovedholland.
Main Materlist: here.
Tumblr media
Twice.
I believe that things in life happen twice, like getting a job offer or falling in love. For instance, I fell in love twice. The first one was in high school, with my classmate, but he didn’t want me. The second one was with Peter, but he didn’t want me either. I guess that some things never change. Sometimes, if you’re very lucky, things can also happen thrice, but it’s rare that some trains pass in front of you. This kind of fortune never really occurred to me, that’s why I still think that things in life happen twice. When you don’t understand the occasion, it comes along again for you to see it and finally take it. Maybe that’s why I died twice.
But let’s go back to the beginning, shall we?
Did it never happen to you to die in a metaphorical way? Like when you feel a pain in your heart that doesn’t go away, a deaf heavy brick onto your chest. So you try to breathe, but every rib hurts when you try to do so. Well, this happened to me when Peter told me that he kissed MJ. I was his best friend, I should have been happy for him, but I couldn’t. The reason is obvious: I was in love with him. Common, right? You’re probably thinking that. Our friendship didn’t begin like that, though. We were rivals at first, even enemies sometimes, because my dad preferred to work with him and not with me. I mean, I had Morgan, my younger sister, but it wasn’t enough for me. I needed him to actually see me. Now I regret it. Anyway, before we grew closer, I couldn’t stand Peter and he couldn’t stand me. We used to bicker all the time, until one night. One single night. 
“Hi”, I said.
It changed my entire life.
“Hey”.
“What’s up?”
“I’m just hungry”, he replied, while looking into the fridge.
“Wanna know a secret?” I asked him. He turned in order to look at me. There was a spark of genuine curiosity in his gaze, but I was staring at his half smile on his face, a ghost of something that he didn’t use with me.
“Shoot”.
“The best food is not in the kitchen,” I replied. “It’s actually in my room”.
He grinned at me.
“Wow Y/N, I didn’t know you were this naughty. I thought you hated me. Turns out you just wanted something from me”.
I laughed out loud.
“You’re mistaken, Spidey. I just wanted to be kind, but turns out you’re a jerk. Goodnight, I’m gonna eat my marshmallows alone”.
“Wait, are you for real? True marshmallows? I’m coming,” he said and I smiled at him, truly happy. I didn’t have many friends at school, so I was glad to finally have somebody to hang out with, even if it was my rival.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hate Peter, I just wanted my dad’s love, that’s all. Besides, it was impossible to hate Peter: he was the light when everybody came into the room. He made everybody comfortable and he reassured who needed a kind word. I admired him. Today I wouldn’t have treated him like that.
“I actually have one request,” I said, when he sat on my bed, while looking around.
“I knew it”.
“Spidey-sense?”
“No, I just know you, I guess,” he said and I felt a knot in my stomach. “Anyway, anything for you. I’m so hungry!”
“What if I’d ask you something terrible?” I asked him, while giving him some marshmallows on a plate. “What if you were wrong?” 
Maybe I wasn’t talking about him, but about myself. I was so concerned not to be Tony Stark’s perfect daughter, that somehow I acted like that just so people could be right about me. Maybe I was just worried to be an evil person.
But he shrugged. Peter ate a marshmallow, looked straight into my eyes and said: “You’re not what you think you are, Y/N. Trust me, I would know”.
“Because you know me?”
“No, because of my Spidey-sense, you silly little girl,” he said and I chuckled. Then, his face became so serious it almost scared me. “You know, Ned warned me about you once”.
“Oh, really? Why?” I asked, while sitting next to him.
“He said that you’re trouble”.
“Trouble?”
“Yeah, like staring directly at the Sun. It’s kinda dope, though. You’re more like the Moon, but still. The Moon is so pretty and strong”.
“Strong? Why?”
“Yeah, because it takes courage to stay in the sky without anybody in the dark”.
“Oh, well, but the Moon has the stars. They’re like soldiers: they protect her”.
Peter looked at me while eating another marshmallow, as if he was really thinking about what I said, then he nodded.
“I agree. I can be your star,” he said. “I’ll protect you. From now on, we’re friends,” he stated. 
I smiled at him.
“Thanks, friend”.
“You’re welcome,” he said. “Oh, what did you wanna ask me?”
I didn’t actually have anything to ask him. Maybe I just wanted some accompany that night, because I couldn’t sleep either. His words changed me, though. I wanted to return the favor in some way.
“One day, I’m gonna ask you to promise me something and you’ll have to keep your word”.
He brought a hand to his heart and swore to do so.
“Okay”.
And that was the night I fell in love with Peter Parker. 
Some years after that, when we were at university, he broke my heart when he told me he kissed MJ. 
“Why do I feel like you’re not happy about it?” He asked me. 
How do you explain to somebody that you’re drowning in your own thought? In your own blood, in your own bones. It’s like you’re disappearing, but you really don’t. You just wish you could.
“Because I don’t really like her”.
“You’re kinda the same person, actually,” he said and it really hurt me.
“What?”
“No, wait, I didn’t mean to…”
“If you think that you can replace me with her, you can do it. It’s fine,” I said, shutting the door behind me.
“Y/N! I didn’t mean to say that! I just wanted… I just… I don’t know,” he sighed, then I heard him sitting on the floor, his back on the door and his breath so distant from my skin. He stayed silent for a couple of minutes, that’s why I thought he went away. I could still hear his heartbeat through the door though, since I was with my back on it like him. “You’re irreplaceable, to me. I just wanted to say that you’re similar to MJ, that’s it. You’re two black cats. I’m sorry”.
I remained silent for some time, then I sighed: it was impossible to stay angry at him for more than two minutes straight.
“That makes you a golden retriever, then?” I asked and he chuckled.
“I guess so”.
I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him that I was in love with him then and that I had been for years, but the words wouldn’t come up to my mouth. Besides, he was in love with someone else. We were just friends and it had to be enough for me.
“Hey, Peter?”
“Yes, Y/N?”
“I learned that stars that shine the brightest do that because they’re dying. I shouldn’t do that”.
“Do what? Shine?”
“Die,” I said. “You’re not allowed to die. Okay?”
“Okay”.
I didn’t know it then, but I’d have been the one to die.
Thanos was… a lot of things. And Peter was a lot of things to me. So when I had to choose what to do, it was simple. My Dad didn’t want me to be there, but I was on the battlefield. I saw people fight, die give everything they could. It was terrific. But I was there to protect Peter, because I knew that he couldn’t do that alone, despite him being so strong all the time. Because he was like me. 
“Y/N?” He shouted, when he saw me. He was surprised and scared at the same time. “You shouldn’t be here!” 
“I should!” I said, while I was fighting with one of Thanos’ soldiers.
“If anything happens to you, I swear…”
“Nothing will happen!” I said, while he was winning against some soldier.
“Mr. Stark will be very disappointed!”
Yes, he was.
“He’ll understand!”
No, he didn’t.
“Why are you here?” Peter asked me, while he was close enough to put his hands on my shoulders. I had an armor, but it was useless when he looked into my eyes. I melted like a silly little girl.
“You know why,” I said and I prayed that he understood it. My heart clenched.
He gulped.
“I don’t”.
“You shine brighter than me. I can’t allow you to die,” I replied.
“This doesn’t make any sense, Y/N. I won’t leave you here. I’ll take you home”.
“You will,” I said. “You have to. You promised. Don’t follow me. You have to keep your word, remember? If Thanos kills me…”
“No, Y/N, no…”
“If Thanos kills me,” I continued, “you won’t look for revenge. Is it clear?”
“Y/N…”
“Is it clear?” I repeated, determined. He nodded. “Good”.
You’re asking yourself how I knew that, right? Well, I didn’t. But I knew Peter. I knew that he would have followed me anywhere, because I would have done that too. 
Then, everything happened all at once. My Dad saw me from the distance. He called out my name, but I didn’t hear him. I was disappearing. Peter looked at me in disbelief, too astonished to talk. That was me dying twice. 
“Remember me,” I said, while trying to hug him, but it was like my muscles were too tired to even embrace him. I was slowly falling asleep.
“Y/N? Y/N?” He called. “I love you! I love you!” He screamed, his voice a desperate heartbreak into the air. “I love you!”
When my dad reached out to him, it was already too late for me. 
***
When Peter came back from the cemetery, he didn’t expect to see Tony Stark at his university, after five years. He knew that Y/N came to the battle just to protect Peter, so he hated him because if his eldest daughter died was his fault. But now he knew what to do in order to bring her back and he needed his help to do it. 
“Mr. Stark,” Peter said, surprised. “I didn’t expect to see you here”.
“It’s her death anniversary, I know, but I had other things to do,” he said. “I know how to bring her back, Peter, but I need you to come with me”.
Peter shaked his head.
“I don’t understand: I thought that you hated me”.
“Y/N always said that nobody could really hate you and she was right”.
Peter smiled at him, his lips trembling.
“I broke up with MJ the day before the battle. I wanted to tell her, but I never got the chance. I thought that she didn’t want me”.
Tony put a hand on his shoulder, a warm smile on his face.
“There’s not a world in which she doesn’t want you, I fear”.
That being said, they were coming back to the past with the other Avengers in order to save Y/N and the people who had died because of Thanos. Tony was the first one to see Y/N coming back from the dead.
“Peter!” He called.
Peter turned and he saw Y/N. It was like coming back from a dream. She was finally back into his arms and he wouldn’t have let her go, this time. He dipped his nose into the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent. It was so real it made his heart ache. If he could have exchanged his place with her in all those years, he would have done so. He would have done anything to make her live a normal life. Being without her meant not living, but barely floating on the surface.
“I’m in love with you,” he said. “I’ve been for most of my life, actually. Since that night we ate the marshmallows together”.
He saw her bring her hands on her heart, tilting her head with tears in her eyes.
“And you’re my light, Peter. You always have been”.
Then he hugged her again and it felt like coming home.  
284 notes · View notes
swappedandtrapped · 6 months ago
Text
Rent Help - Part 1
Hey, first thing I'm posting here. Character consistency with AI is difficult for me, so just go with it.
It wasn't a good time in my life. The pandemic hit, making me unemployed. I stayed at home to avoid getting sick and with nothing to do I was starting to find any excuse to go out of my room. I was renting this flat with another guy I found on Craigslist, Roy.
Roy was my age, he moved in from some place outside the county a few years ago and we managed to stay out of each others' way. Maybe except a few times I heard his booming voice shout at the TV, cursing other players in some online game. He was also too comfortable in the house, taking off his shirt and staying like that even when guests came over.
Tumblr media
Slowly, the world came back to order. The quarantines stopped, but I was still out of a job. I ended up searching for a long while. I was struggling and really tried to be frugal. Eating cheap, saving up, the usual. But my savings were about to run out.
I was desperate, and even though I felt bad doing so, I asked Roy if he could lend me the money for rent. Roy, to my disappointment, refused. He said he had really bad experiences with friends he lent money to, but never payed him back. I begged, said it was a sure thing, I was willing to do anything, sign contracts, whatever he wanted.
"Sorry man," He said. "You know how it is, I can't let my friends owe me money," He insisted. "But if you're willing to do something for me in return, I think we can still work something out." I was hesitant. "What do you mean? Like doing your laundry?" "Well. Sort of." He smiled. "Just make sure to be free this weekend so you could help me with that thing." It was either that or become homeless, so I jumped to hug him "Yes, of course! Anything! Thanks man!" "No worries. I'll give you the details Friday morning."
The week went by quick. I wasn't sure what he wanted, but I guessed it was just some house work or doing errands for him. He was straight, so anything sex related was out of the question. I relaxed and knew that I won't be kicked out of my place. At least this month.
Friday morning came, but my alarm didn't go off. I woke from the direct sunlight peaking through the window curtains when I knew that my window was facing west. But the first thing that I knew was wrong was the smell. Something smelled... Wrong... Like someone else's laundry. In my half-asleep state, I turned on my side to get my phone to check the time. Eyes still closed, I couldn't feel the phone on my nightstand. I opened my eyes to see where the hell was it, but my heart stopped when I first saw my hand.
Tumblr media
It definitely wasn't my hand. Darker skin, hairier, and a bit bigger than mine. I saw it was attached to a foreign arm with the same features of the hand. Darker skin, more hair, and bigger than mine. I gasped in fright and used the hand and arm to take off the blanket and reveal what was underneath.
Not my body. This is definitely not my body. I was wearing only pajama shorts, which I never do. My chest was thick, heavy, and hairy. My gut spilling over its own weight. My legs wiggled with fat from my movement. Wait, is this… Roy's body? I touched my chin and felt the beard Roy had. I took a look up from my body and saw I was actually in his bed, which is also in his room. What the fuck happened to me? What is going on? I run to a mirror to see if my fear is true. All I saw was Roy, having the same expression of horror I had.
Tumblr media
I screamed, only to quickly stop and cover my mouth. What the hell was this sound coming out of me? "Ahh, test, test." I tried to listen and realized I also heard Roy's voice coming my throat. MY throat! I couldn't escape it. I tried looking for a way out of this body, clawing my skin to find an opening, but all I did was hurt myself.
I was out of breath. I started to sweat. The world was spinning and I had to sit down. After crashing on the shared living room sofa, my heartbeat lowered to a normal pace, but I was still shocked. "What the fu-" I said, surprised again to hear Roy's accent through my teeth. Was this a dream? What the fuck is going on?
"Can you keep it down? It's barely 8 o'clock." a voice behind me said. My voice. My real voice. I looked up to see who I assumed was "Roy?". I stood up to face him. "I didn't think you'd wake up this early, but whatever, I guess we can do this now." "You… You knew about this?" I stammered. "Wait. Did YOU do this?!" "Don't make a big deal out of it man, I told you I'll needed you on Friday." "FOR WHAT!?" I shouted, with his booming voice. "For replacing you?!"
"Don't give yourself too much credit. It's just for this weekend.". He started getting ready to go out. "And I don't need you to replace me, I just needed to not be me for a bit." "WHAT THE FUCK ROY?!" I started getting out of breath again. Maybe even a low-key panic attack. "Why didn't you say anything about that? I thought I was just gonna clean your room or something!"
"I don't understand why you're so upset. You're getting free rent money for basically just sitting on your ass all day." "Because you TOOK MY BODY." "Don't be dramatic, it's just for the weekend. I'm borrowing it." He put on my coat on his way out. "Couldn't you tell me before? How did you even do this?"
"That's not important, I've had this thing since I was little." He started putting on my shoes and tying his shoelaces. Listen, if you don't want this, we can switch back now, but forget about the rent. I'm not giving out free money. It's your choice."
I started to form an insult, but quickly realized this might be my only option. And is being in Roy's body for a weekend really that bad?
"And this is just for the weekend?" "Yes." "And all I have to do is stay here?" "Or go out, I don't care. I just need your body." "But why?" "That's where the money comes in. Most of the pay is for you being discreet about this." The gears in my head turned. "What, like something illegal? Sex? Don't do weird shit in my body." "Nothing sketchy, I promise, but I really need to go. I'll be back tomorrow."
He closed the door after him, leaving me still shocked at the situation he got me into.
Tumblr media
Thanks for reading. Part 2 out soon.
226 notes · View notes
batmanisagatewaydrug · 10 days ago
Note
Hey! So this isn't a particularly exciting ask or anything, but I'm sending it bc I literally do not know who irl I can talk to.
Basically, my boyfriend and I (both virgins) tried having sex for the first time tonight, and it pretty much didn't work. It was kind of horrible and awkward, which was expected, but really it just didn't get anywhere at all. First the condom broke when he tried to put it on, which freaked him out so he couldn't get hard again. And we didn't really know how to just /start/ so we tried just going for it, but he, like, couldn't get his dick into my vagina? Which I'm pretty sure is not a me thing because I've fingered myself before just fine.
Anyways, we kind of just called it quits after kissing for a while, and now I just don't really know what to make of the whole experience. I want to have sex but rn I'm not even really sure if I want to try again. It was just so mortifying and unfun. Do you have any advice whatsoever?
hi anon,
oh boy! here are a few crucial points that jump out to me:
if the condom is breaking just from trying to put it on, something is wrong. the condom might be too small, or it may have been expired (which can make it brittle), or it may have been stored in a space that was too hot or too cold and weakened the condom's integrity. your boyfriend's nails may have had sharp edges that damaged the condom. maybe he just did a spectacularly bad job putting it on! review the best way to put a condom on together for better results next time.
you boyfriend's penis being flaccid definitely wasn't helping to make penetration any easier! generally speaking, you're going to want the penis to be erect for that.
everyone has different preferences, of course, but it's often helpful to do literally anything else prior to putting something directly in the vagina. kissing, cuddling, touching each other's genitals with hands, mouths, or any other body part you desire, etc. particularly for vaginal penetration, giving yourself time is helpful: it gives the vagina time to lubricate as well as for the process of tenting, during which the cervix and uterus draw back to create more space in the vaginal canal. much in the same way that you (probably) can't just stick a finger into your vagina without any warning or lube and have an enjoyable sexual experience, you need time to get ready with a partner.
having said all of that: this was your first time doing this. very few people are great at things on their first try. the first time I tried rollerskating outside I fell over a million mortifying times where all my neighbors could see. the first time I tried to cook chicken flautas I accidentally smoked up my kitchen so badly that my housemates and I had to temporarily evacuate our home while it aired out. the only way you learn how to do things is by fucking them up a few times. that's the most normal thing in the entire world.
try again or wait a while, whatever you prefer, but know that you're not missing out on some secret hack to have Perfect Cool Guy Sex that everyone knows but you. the way that good sex happens, which to me just means mutually enjoyable and comfortable sex, is by understanding that sex is a fundamentally messy and silly endeavor and finding someone with whom you can laugh through the dumb shit.
146 notes · View notes
back2bluesidex · 8 months ago
Text
Fortnight - JJK
Tumblr media
Pairing: Jungkook X Fem Reader
Theme: Fluff, angst if you squint really hard
Wordcount: 1k+
Summary: "I touched you for only a fortnight."
Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption. and literally nothing else.
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
A/N: This is pathetically self-indulged! Replace Jungkook with me and put @phenomenalgirl9 on Jimin's place and boom! it's my own damn story!
Masterlist | Patreon
Tumblr media
“Now, if you don’t talk to her, how will you know what her reaction will be?” Jimin whines nudging Jungkook with his elbow. 
“I don’t know hyung. What if- what if she thinks I’m a creep? That I stalk her or something? That I am trying to throw myself at her?” Jungkook lays his head on the headrest of the semi-comfortable couch-seat of their regular bar. 
The fluorescent light above his head makes him feel more drunk than he actually is. 
Even though he is here, sitting beside one of his best friends, enjoying a Saturday - his mind is actually miles and miles away, with you. 
You - someone, he doesn’t even know the name of. 
You take the same subway as him, well, only sometimes. 
His 10 to 6 job as a drone engineer pushes him into a tight schedule where he chooses to catch a specific subway to come back home at a very particular time and spend the rest of the day away from work and the annoying sound of drones.
He doesn’t recall the first day he saw you, nor if you had a special effect on him, what he knows is that you were one of the faces he got to see everyday. 
But before he even realized it himself - your face was what he looked for in the mass of eyes, noses and lips. 
Again he can’t pinpoint that one day when he suddenly started looking for you. But now he realizes that you don’t travel by the same damn subway everyday, unlike him. And that upsets him a lot.
So he doesn’t see you for most of the week, sometimes even goes a fortnight without having a sight. And when he does.. His heart beats start raising so much that he fears the organ would jump out of his chest and fall into your hands. 
He is obnoxious in a way. He knows he is a people-magnet and he can pull anyone towards himself. He knows that he makes tons of head turns on a single day. But.. his charms fall short when it comes to you. 
You are so beautiful! God! 
Your delicate features, dark hair swept up in a messy bun, your expressive eyes… he loves it all. He loves it all so much that whenever he sees you, he can’t look away. And he is sure you can feel him ogling at you too. 
There are times when he had several eye-contacts with you, which means you were staring at him too. 
That’s the only positive news in this entire ordeal.  
Jimin shakes Jungkook’s body vehemently, “are you even listening to me?” 
“No.” Jungkook says briefly as he sits up and sips on his drink. He diverts the conversation in another way so that he could stop feeling like a shit because there is no way you are single. He is a fool, he is pathetic with that little crush on you, a woman he doesn’t even know the name of.
Tumblr media
“You sure don’t want a ride?” Jimin asks again, slurring a bit. 
“Yep. There must be a ton of traffic at this hour. I will take the subway.” he reasons, checking the subway schedule on his phone. 
Jimin wiggles his eyebrow, opening the taxi door. 
“What?” Jungkook narrows his own set of brows as he waves of the elder’s suspicion, “hyung! Come’on it’s Saturday. And I want to take the subway so that I can sober up a bit. There is absolutely no other reason.” 
“Yeah, yeah. Get home safely. Bye.” Jimin settles inside the taxi but his grin doesn’t die. 
Jungkook laughs at his antics. 
Oh how he wishes he could see you. But he knows about this setting more than anyone else and the subway station he needs to access today is two stops away from the one you usually get in. Besides, it’s already past your usual time. 
He starts walking towards the station popping on his earpods in order to avoid the nagging voice of his brain or maybe heart.
Tumblr media
The next subway comes in three minutes. 
Jungkook taps the tip of his vans on the glazed floor of the subway station. The alcohol buzzing in his brain makes the waiting period a lot easier than normal days. 
He whips his head up and turns it to cut through the haze a bit. 
And his eyes stop at one particular face. 
It’s you. 
It’s really you. 
There is no fucking way you are here! 
Is he dreaming? Is it the alcohol or is it really you? 
Before he knows what he is doing, he starts walking towards you and stands right behind your body. 
You are in much more casual clothes than normal days, so you are probably coming back from a day out with your friends or boyfriend or girlfriend even. 
And as usual - you look beautiful. 
He stands right behind you, just staring at the back of your head and thanking his lucky stars for listening to his quiet prayers. 
The train arrives. He walks through the door shadowing you and stands just like he was in the station. 
There are no seats left so he doesn’t even entertain the thoughts of sitting and nursing his pounding head and heart. 
He just stands staring at the curve of your neck, biting on his lower lip while contemplating if he should talk to you or not. 
He was so busy staring at your hair that he didn’t even notice you looking back at him through the glass of the subway window. 
When he finally looks up, his eyes meet yours and he sees a ghost of a smile playing on your lips. 
“You look good today.” he voices, gathering all the courage he has inside his body, mind and soul. 
Your smile widens, “so do you.” 
“This is Jungkook, by the way.” his heart is about to explode when you turn your head to meet his eyes directly. 
“Hi, jungkook. I’m Y/N.” you reply, spots of red appearing on your cheeks. 
Jungkook doesn’t know where things will lead - but he knows, right now, he is happy for sure.
Tumblr media
Permanent Taglist:
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie @mikrokookiex @jjk174 @lallataegi @savageyoongi @jwnghyuns @parapiop7 @futuristicenemychaos
321 notes · View notes
jessejaredstories · 1 year ago
Text
Type Casting
“C’mon, let’s just give it one more go!” 
“I don’t want to…” 
Robert was slumped against the wall with his head in between his knees. His friend Aidan was looking down at him. Aidan let out a heavy sigh, then bent down to meet Rob at eye level.
“Listen man, I’m trying to help you out here but you’re making it really difficult.” Aidan tried to make eye contact with Rob, but he turned the other way. “What was that thing you used to say? The best actors can turn themselves into anyone they want? What happened to that energy?”
“Let’s be honest, I was just lying to myself. Even I didn’t believe that bullshit.” Rob said muffled through his hands. He then let himself fall over onto the ground, much to Aidan’s growing annoyance. While Rob was laying on the asphalt, he looked up to the sky above. The dark of night had just settled in and the first few stars had just come out. 
Ever since he was a kid, Robert dreamed of being a big time Hollywood actor. He always imagined himself up on the silver screen whenever he went to the movies. Although Rob had spent most of his childhood and adolescence performing for local theater groups, he unfortunately never made it into the big leagues. He had all but given up on his childhood dream and settled for a life working in retail.
However, just as Rob was getting comfortable living an ordinary life, everything changed one fateful day when an acting agent walked into the store. The agent was in desperate need of an actor for an upcoming commercial shoot after the previous guy dropped last minute. Rob just so happened to be on the clock that day. They had a conversation, one thing led to another and next thing you knew, Rob got the part. It was a minor acting gig with only two lines, but it was enough to reignite the passion Rob had for acting. So much so that he decided to quit his day job and pursue acting full time. 
But unfortunately for Rob, his good luck started as well as ended on that fateful day. He hasn’t been able to land another acting job despite having gone on numerous auditions. While Rob was already on the verge of giving up again, his best friend Aidan was still holding out hope for him.
“Bro, c’mon, they’re looking for a Filipino dude and you’re the only one auditioning. How could they not cast you?” Aidan said.
“It’s really not that simple… I can’t just be type casted into a role because of my race. They’re looking for a gym bro kinda guy, and I’ve seen cats with more upper body muscle than me. I don’t even look the part, much less act it. It’s hopeless!” Rob sighed and rolled over. They both lingered in silence for a minute.
“You know, maybe we should just call it a night. You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep,” Aidan said.
“I doubt it, not unless I can somehow become a gym bro overnight.”
“Stranger things have happened, you know…”
Rob was expecting Aidan to dismiss what he just said, not go along with it. He was only kidding after all! But Rob decided not to think twice about it and just laugh it off.
Robert went to bed that night restless and miserable. Normally he had no problem falling asleep, but for some reason, he just couldn’t sleep that night. Rob was eventually able to fall asleep after enough twisting and turning, but he was plagued by strange dreams. He kept dreaming about some muscular guy entering his bedroom while he slept. The dream was extremely lifelike, Rob felt he could reach out and get a feel of the dude’s jacked bicep!
Tumblr media
Rob tried to touch him, but when he reached out, he found himself awake in his bed. Rob blinked and rubbed his eyes as he looked around his empty room. It was just a dream, nothing more and nothing less. Rob nodded off again. As he slept peacefully, the same muscle bro came back in his dreams, albeit in a very different way the second time around.
In the dream, Rob was still just laying down sleeping in his bed. He tried moving his body, but couldn’t. His body was in a deep sleep, and all Rob could do was watch himself sleep. 
At first, the dream was nothing more than him sleeping. After a couple of minutes passed, the muscular man made a reappearance. He crept back into Rob’s bedroom, except he was fully naked this time! Rob was caught off guard, but quickly found himself enjoying the view. The man was clean shaven all over his body except for three places: his thick mustache, his hairy pits, and his unruly bush of pubic hair. Rob loved the glorious sight of masculine, well-kept yet hairy man standing in his bedroom. He knew intuitively that the man’s name was Jacob. He watched as Jacob approached him on the bed. He also noticed that the dream version of himself had woken up and had begun stripping down naked. Jacob then hopped on the bed with him, placing himself in between Dream Rob’s open legs. Jacob was stroking himself while Dream Rob was feeling around his well-toned torso. He cupped one of Jacob’s pecs and felt how firm the slabs of meat on his chest were. Jacob had a cocky grin on his face as Rob worshiped him. He then bounced his pecs for Rob, which made him whimper from pleasure.  
Tumblr media
Even though it was a dream, everything Rob was feeling felt just like real life. He could feel Jacob rubbing his hardening cock against his own dick, which made him get erect too. Rob felt Jacob’s thick bush brush up against the underside of his thighs as he thrusted his hips into him while jerking off. Soft, sensual moans escaped Rob’s lips, matching Jacob’s gruff, baritone groans. Once they were both at full mast, Jacob moved onto the next step of their little “play session.”
Jacob moved up closer to Rob. He grabbed his rock hard cock and positioned it right next to Rob’s. Rob was stunned at how hung Jacob was. He had both length and girth to his junk, and with a big, pink tip too! Jacob then put their dicks together in one hand and jerked them both off. Rob let out a loud moan as Jacob pumped away at both of their cocks. Jacob’s hand had a rough feel to it, most likely due to calluses from working out. Rob also noticed how warm his hand was, which added to the warm pleasure Rob was feeling as Jacob jerked them off. It was the best feeling Rob had felt in a long while.
Precum soon began leaking from the tips of their cocks. Jacob noticed his leakage and shuffled away slightly to reposition himself. Rob was purring with anticipation. He was expecting him to put it in, but instead he got something he could’ve never guessed. Rob started stroking himself off at a rapid pace and with bated breath. Rob assumed he was about to finish, but that guess was wrong too. Instead, Jacob’s cock started growing even longer and wider. Jacob then closed the gap between them again. He hovered his cock over Rob’s junk and lowered it. Jacob’s cock then engulfed Rob’s entire dick and balls area. Rob winced. He felt a pinch when he got swallowed up by Jacob’s engorged member. Jacob’s dick was throbbing. The vein running from the base to the tip was pulsating. Rob could feel Jacob twitching due to their dicks being conjoined. Only a few more seconds before Jacob let out a primal moan from deep within. Rob had no idea what was happening, but unfortunately had no time to react.
“Ahhh… Ah!? Arghh FUCKK!!” Rob moaned. He could feel the warmth of Jacob shooting out ropes of cum. However, because his cock was inside of Jacob’s, his loads had nowhere to go except inside of Rob’s dick. Rob was squirming as he felt all of Jacob’s spunk rush through the slit of his cockhead and down the length of his member. Jacob kept shooting out load after load and all of it was getting pumped straight into Rob’s balls. Rob’s cock and balls grew thicker and heavier as a result of getting filled up. He had become hung like a horse, sporting a cool 7 inch cock with some hefty girth to match its length too. Jacob’s seed had overwhelmed Rob’s reproductive system, forcing it to produce Jacob’s DNA rather than Rob’s. All of the testosterone filled cum Jacob had pumped into Rob began transforming the lower half of his body. 
The body transformation was as pleasurable as it was intense. Waves of ecstasy-like warmth spread throughout Rob’s legs and thighs as they grew exponentially bigger, forcing Rob to throw his head and moan as it all happened. The lower half of his body essentially exploded with mass. Once they finished growing, Rob’s body immediately shaped the extra mass into chiseled, muscular legs that looked just like Jacob’s.
Rob felt like his body was on fire after the explosive growth his legs went through! He was huffing and puffing for breath after that bodily experience. Rob was thankful that no more cum was getting pumped into him. It seemed like Jacob had finally been drained of every last drop. However, although his balls might’ve run dry, Jacob knew of another way to keep the transformation fun going. 
Jacob let Rob’s dick wiggle out of his own. Once they were detached, his engorged cock shrunk back down to its usual size. Jacob then positioned Rob to sit up against the headboard of his bed. He then hopped on top of him, placing him in between his beefy legs. Rob was now at eye level with Jacob’s massive chest. 
Tumblr media
Rob salivated being so close to Jacob’s beefy pecs. He reached out and grabbed his left nipple with thumb and forefinger. He felt the few hairs surrounding the nipple tickling against his fingers as he gave him a light squeeze, causing Jacob to groan with delight. Rob then leaned in and planted his lips against Jacob’s succulent nipple. Rob could taste the salt of a few sweat drops as he used his tongue to flick his nipple around in his mouth. The thought of suckling a man’s juicy pecs made Rob get hard again, encouraging him to give Jacob the best service his mouth could offer. 
Jacob was breathing heavily as Rob sucked off his sensitive nipples. He began running his fingers through Rob’s hair while Rob went to work. While they were both having the time of their lives, this only lasted a few minutes before Jacob decided to switch things up again. He grabbed hold of Rob’s head and pressed him against his pec. Rob didn’t think twice about Jacob’s sudden dominance; he simply assumed he wanted him to suck even harder. He proceeded to suck and lick and bite as pleasurably as he could. Meanwhile, Jacob was using his free hand to rub down his pectoral muscles. He started squeezing at the top of his chest and ran his hand down to the nipple, stimulating his pecs until they started lactating. 
“Mmmm… Mmmrrngh? Mmmmm…!!” 
Rob noticed there was a sudden new taste in his mouth. However, it was a sweet, slightly milky taste that he quickly grew addicted to. It didn’t deter him from sucking Jacob’s chest, it only encouraged him to go even harder. Rob drank it all like a starving kitten while Jacob was in a world of heaven due to the combined sensations of lactating and having a man’s warm mouth sucking down on his nipple. 
Rob struggled to swallow all the milk. Some of it leaked out and ran down Rob’s mouth, causing an even wetter mess than before, but Rob kept at it. Jacob’s pec milk was the key to the second half of the transformation. The more of the sweet, sweet pec milk Rob drank, the stronger he was becoming. His torso began swelling up with muscle mass just like his legs did. His arms grew until he had two cannons with melon-sized biceps. His shoulders and back grew wider and chiseled. His pecs ballooned out but stayed firm with muscle, giving him a set of man tits that would put anyone to shame with their voluptuous size. By the time Jacob’s chest had finally run dry, Rob had been completely transformed into a beefy bodybuilder just like him. 
Rob leaned back from Jacob’s now swollen chest and swallowed the last few drops of milk he managed to suckle out. Once he swallowed, he let out a satisfied exhale and a loud burp. He then looked at Jacob with pleading eyes, the same eyes you would see on any submissive bottom eager to please. Jacob looked down to match Rob’s gaze, then grinned. He leaned down and gave Rob a big, fat kiss on the lips. Rob kissed him back too. He then opened his mouth slightly to let Jacob stick his tongue inside his mouth. Their tongues danced together in Rob’s mouth with Jacob’s tongue taking the dominant role. They then locked lips together for one last triumphant tongue kiss. Once Jacob pulled away, Rob noticed some course hair touching his upper lip. He reached out to touch his lip and with one stroke of the finger, he realized what had happened. Jacob had bestowed upon him the finishing touch of his transformation- his thick mustache befitting of a muscle daddy like the new him. 
Tumblr media
Robert woke up in an incredibly great mood the next morning. He laid in bed with a wide smile on his face as he fondly replayed the weird yet awesome wet dream he had last night. Although he would always have the memory, he hoped the dreamy muscle man would visit him again sometime in the future. 
Rob noticed his body felt heavier as he laid in bed. He took a look down at himself, then smirked. It was the kind of cocky smirk any guy with a great body would have. He was hot and he knew it! 
He jumped out of bed with glee and ran to the nearest mirror to check himself out. Surely enough, his reflection in the mirror matched the same beefy cupcake his own eyes showed him. Rob almost couldn’t believe he had actually transformed overnight. He had so many questions running through his mind, but standing in front of the mirror, all he could think about was how hot his new body had become.
“Fuck yeah! I’m ripped as fuckk!!” 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
While Rob was busy admiring his new self in the mirror, someone had been knocking on the door. Rob didn’t even notice someone was knocking. As a result, their knocks had evolved to them pounding on the door. The pounding was enough to finally get Rob’s attention. Annoyed, Rob pulled himself away from the mirror and hurried to the door. He opened it to an equally annoyed Aidan waiting on the other side.
“Where the fuck have you- Woah.” Aidan stepped into Rob’s apartment ready to chew him out but stopped after taking one look at the new him. He almost didn’t recognize him due to his new muscular physique. He had to look closely at his face just to recognize him. “Rob? Is that you!? Holy shit!!”
“I know right! Check me out bro, you like my new look?” Rob flexed his bicep for Aidan while he hyped him up. Though Aidan was happy for his friend, he remembered the reason why he came by in the first place.
“I don’t know how the fuck you managed to go super saiyan on me overnight, but we don’t have time for this right now. Your audition’s in an hour and it’s all the way across town!”
“Oh fuck!! I completely forgot about that, let’s GO!”
Rob quickly threw some clothes on and ran out the door with Aidan by his side. They barreled down the highways at dangerously high speeds, driving as fast as Rob’s car could manage. They were able to make it to the rec center where auditions were being held just in the nick of time. Rob ran into the waiting lobby just as the producer called out his name. 
“Alright bro… You got this… Break… A leg!” Aidan said in between huffs, fighting to catch his breath after sprinting from the parking lot. Rob nodded and followed the producer into the backroom.
“Welcome, Robert, please feel free to take a minute to catch your breath. I know you had to run to get here on time, what happened?” the producer asked as she took a seat next to the director.
“Nothing, just traffic. You know how it gets in this city,” Rob responded.
“I see. Well then, feel free to start whenever you’re ready.”
“Actually, before I start, is it alright if I do a little improv? I have the sides down but I wanted to add my own little flair to the scene.”
“Do as you must, just be sure to show us your best performance.” The director answered with a bored inflection in her voice.
Rob nodded, then proceeded to perform the sides for the audition. He had the sides perfectly memorized, and he followed the script’s exact punctuation down to the comma too. Rob didn’t stray far from the script for the most part, but for his rendition of the scene, he decided to take out his shirt and play the character as an aloof himbo rather than just an arrogant jock.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Once he finished performing, Rob looked up to see their faces. The producer looked irritated, while the director still had the same poker face she had when Rob first entered the room.
“Well! Thank you for your time, Robert, we’ll let you know if-”
“No need,” the director waved her hand to stop the producer. “After seeing over 20 auditions today, I can say with confidence that you’re the best fit for the role. Congratulations Robert, you got the part.”
Rob was bursting with joy. He shook the director’s hand with an over enthusiastic vigor and a wide grin on his face. He then walked out to share the great news with Aidan, who was just as excited as he was. He had done it; he had landed a role in a major Hollywood production as the main character’s meathead yet lovable brother. 
Epilogue
Several months have passed since Rob finished filming his last major role. His newly acquired looks granted him the confidence he needed to perform at his best. Coupled with his eagerness and passion for acting, Rob had become the total package, and other big names in the film industry agreed too. Word had gotten out on how Rob was set to become a rising star. A couple of directors had even scouted him for their upcoming projects! All in all, Rob was enjoying the new life he was only just starting to build up for himself as an actor.
However, there was one slight problem. Rob and Aidan’s friendship had taken a turn for the worse lately. While Aidan was happy for his buddy’s success and Rob was more than happy to share some of the Hollywood glamor with his best friend, the two had begun bickering a lot. 
It started back when Rob first transformed into the beefy bodybuilder he was now. Rob was slowly becoming more and more arrogant ever since then. Aidan didn’t notice at first, but it was becoming more obvious with every passing day. Every other sentence Rob said had the word “bro” shoved into it. That, and if it didn’t involve his acting career, going to the gym, partying, or fucking hot dudes, then Rob simply had no time or patience for it. Even Aidan, his best friend since primary school, had been shoved into the sidelines! Rob had become the epitome of a selfish, gym rat narcissistic. 
Tumblr media
But Aidan was never the type to simply roll over and give up. He would sooner die than let his best friend go without a fight. So he decided to try and get the old Rob back, much to his dismay. 
Rob was in the middle of getting ready to go out clubbing with his other actor friends. While getting dressed, he decided to take a moment to admire himself in the mirror. He made sure to keep up with the maintenance a hot, muscular body like his needed in order to be maintained. He was proud of his physique, and it was then he decided he was gonna find another hot guy to fuck all night long. It had been too long since he last got off after all, his balls were already hanging low with how full they were! All he needed was someone to drain him of his load.
Tumblr media
As Rob was recording a new thirst trap to send out on dating apps, he got an incoming video call from Aidan. Rob grunted and declined the call. Annoyed, he threw his phone off to the side. But just as he was about to resume getting ready when he felt something strange in his chest. He looked down and bounced his pecs again. Rob noticed that it took him more effort than usual to flex his pectoral muscles. He grabbed one of his pecs, gave it a squeeze and when he did, he felt like something was about to leak out of his nipple. Something… Like milk.
Aidan called again. Rob turned to look at his phone ringing on the bed. He then looked back down at his body. It was then a brilliant idea had hit him. Rob and Aidan were going to be the best of friends again after he was done.
Tumblr media
683 notes · View notes
m4rv3l-girl · 26 days ago
Note
Bucky taking care of an exhausted/overworked reader after a long dayyy?(just had the worst day at work lol😭)
Warnings: None, just fluff!
The moment Y/N stepped into her apartment, every muscle in her body ached in protest.
The day had been long - no, brutal. Meetings that could’ve been emails, a coffee spill on her favorite shirt, and a particularly insufferable coworker who thought ‘urgent’ meant ‘Take your sweet time.’
Bucky Barnes had been sitting on the couch, flipping through channels aimlessly, but the second the door creaked open, he turned his attention to her. His sharp blue eyes softened as he took in the sight of his girl - slumped shoulders, dark circles under her eyes. And a scowl that could rival even his own grumpiest days.
“Doll,” he murmured, setting the remote aside. “You look like you fought Thanos single-handedly.”
Y/N groaned, dropping her bag onto the floor with a dramatic thud. “Worse. I fought the corporate machine and lost.”
Bucky smirked, unfolding himself from the couch in that effortless, predatory way he moved. For a 106-year-old ex-assassin, he was annoyingly graceful. “C’mere,” he said, already reaching for her.
She barely had the energy to move, but she didn’t need to. He met her halfway, pulling her into his arms like it was second nature. The second her face hit his chest, the tension in her body started to melt.
“You smell nice,” she mumbled into his shirt. “Like…winter and safety.”
“Not metal and violence?” he teased, rubbing slow circles into her back.
“Surprisingly, no. Just warmth.”
Bucky chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Rough day, huh?”
Y/N made a noise of pure exhaustion. “Everything was awful. And people were dumb. And my brain is fried.”
He hummed in understanding. “So, you’re saying now isn’t the best time to ask if you wanna go on a mission with Sam and me?”
Y/N pulled back just enough to give him the deadliest glare she could muster. “Barnes.”
His grin was unrepentant. “Alright, alright. C’mon, let’s get you out of these work clothes.”
“Bucky Barnes, are you seducing me right now?” she asked dryly.
“Not yet. First, food. Second, a bath. Then, we’ll see.” He waggled his eyebrows before bending down to untie her shoes for her.
Y/N sighed, letting him fuss over her. This was their routine whenever she had a bad day - Bucky going full mother hen mode, making sure she was fed, warm, and comfortable.
“Okay, tell me everything,” he prompted as he guided her toward their bedroom. “Who do I have to fight?”
Y/N dramatically flopped onto the bed. “Carol in HR. She is the devil.”
Bucky flopped down beside her, throwing an arm over her stomach. “Carol in HR, huh? What’d she do?”
“She gave me two conflicting deadlines for the same project and then told my boss I was ‘struggling to keep up’ when I asked for clarification.”
Bucky sucked in a sharp breath. “I see. And why is she still breathing?”
Y/N snorted, rolling onto her side to face him. “Because I need my job, unfortunately.”
“Fair.” He played with a loose strand of her hair, twisting it gently between his fingers. “I could scare her for you. Just a little. Maybe mention how good I am at making people disappear.”
“Bucky.”
“What? You think the Winter Soldier rep doesn’t have its perks?”
She laughed, which was exactly what he was aiming for. “I’ll handle Carol myself, thanks.”
“Fine, fine. But if she steps out of line again, I’m putting her on my list.”
Y/N lifted an eyebrow. “You have a list?”
“Oh yeah.” He smirked. “Right at the top? That barista who rolled her eyes at you that one time.”
Y/N cackled. “I will never get over that.”
Bucky grinned, clearly pleased with himself. “Alright, up we go. Pajamas, food, bath.”
She whined but let him pull her up. He found her comfiest sweatpants and one of his old Henleys, helping her into them like she was a tired toddler. “There we go. Cozy and adorable.”
“I am neither of those things.”
“You so are.” He tapped her nose. “Now, do you want grilled cheese or pancakes?”
“Both.”
He beamed. “That’s my girl.”
Twenty minutes later, they were curled up on the couch, a plate of grilled cheese and pancakes between them, with Bucky feeding her bites like she was royalty.
“This is the life,” she mumbled around a mouthful of food.
“Told ya,” he said smugly. “Now, let’s find a movie where nothing bad happens, and the dog lives.”
Y/N sighed happily, snuggling into his side. “Perfect.”
Bucky shifted, glancing at her with a small smirk. "Alright, up, Doll. Bath time."
She groaned dramatically, but when he tugged her up, she didn’t resist. Her limbs felt heavy with exhaustion, the weight of the day still pressing down on her, but Bucky’s touch was firm, grounding.
In the bathroom, warm steam curled through the air carrying the soft scent of vanilla and honey. The water in the tub was already drawn, shimmering under the dim glow of candles flickering along the edges. Bubbles swirled across the surface, piled high like clouds, they looked inviting and comforting. The whole setup looked so idyllic that she just stood there, blinking at the scene before turning to Bucky.
“You did all this?” she murmured, voice thick with the kind of gratitude that words couldn’t quite capture.
Bucky just shrugged, but there was something tender in the way he reached for the hem of her shirt. “You looked like you needed it,” he said simply.
Her heart swelled as he helped her out of her clothes, his touch slow and reverent, like he wasn’t just undressing her but peeling away the weight of her exhaustion, one layer at a time. When she was bare before him, he didn’t rush, just let his fingers skim over her shoulders, his lips ghosting across her temple in a whisper of warmth.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he murmured, stepping out of his own clothes save for his boxers before sinking into the water first. He exhaled a quiet sigh as the heat soaked into his skin, his muscles relaxing almost instantly. Then, with careful hands, he reached for her.
She let herself be pulled into the water, sighing as the warmth enveloped her, easing the tension that had knotted itself into her muscles throughout the day. Bucky guided her between his legs, and the moment she settled against his chest, she felt herself melt. His arms came around her, his vibranium hand cool against the heat of her skin, drawing soft, absent-minded patterns along her arm.
For a long moment, neither of them spoke. The only sounds were the gentle lapping of the water, the distant hum of the city outside, and the steady, reassuring rhythm of Bucky’s breathing against her back. She could feel his heart, steady and strong, beating against her spine.
“You okay, Doll?” he murmured against her temple, his voice low and full of something she couldn’t quite name.
She let out a sleepy hum, eyes fluttering closed. “M’perfect.”
Bucky chuckled, the sound deep and affectionate, reverberating through her where she rested against him. “Glad to hear it.”
His lips brushed against her damp hair, pressing a lingering kiss there before he reached for the loofah, dipping it into the warm water. He started with her shoulders, rubbing gentle circles into her skin, washing away the tension like it was something tangible. His touch was firm but soothing, working out the stiffness that had settled deep into her muscles.
She sighed under his touch, eyes slipping closed as the steady rhythm of his movements lulled her into a state of pure contentment. “Gonna fall asleep right here,” she mumbled, half-dazed.
“That’s the plan,” he murmured, a smile evident in his tone. He continued his ministrations, taking his time as he massaged the soapy loofah down her arms, across her collarbone, down the gentle slope of her back. His vibranium fingers followed in its wake, tracing light, lazy patterns that sent shivers down her spine.
As he worked, he pressed small, lingering kisses along the exposed curve of her shoulder, slow and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world. Each kiss was a quiet reassurance, a promise that she was safe, cared for, cherished.
“You always take such good care of me,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
Bucky paused, resting his chin against her shoulder. “Of course I do, sweetheart,” he said softly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “That’s what you do when you love someone.”
Her heart clenched at the simplicity of his words, at the way he said them with such quiet certainty. She turned slightly in his arms, just enough to meet his gaze. There was something unguarded in his expression, something raw and achingly sincere.
She reached up, cupping his face, her thumb brushing over the stubble along his jaw. “I love you, too,” she murmured.
Bucky’s breath hitched slightly, his grip on her tightening just a fraction before he exhaled, a slow, shaky thing. He nuzzled into her touch, his lips brushing against her palm before he turned his head to press a kiss there. “Yeah?” he murmured against her skin.
“Yeah,” she breathed.
Bucky let out a soft chuckle, wrapping his arms more securely around her as he pressed a lingering kiss to her temple. “Good.”
They stayed like that for a while, the water still warm around them, the bubbles slowly dissipating. Eventually, Bucky reached for a cup, filling it with water before tilting her head back slightly. “Close your eyes, sweetheart.”
She did as he said, trusting him implicitly as he poured the warm water over her hair, his fingers threading through the strands with the gentlest touch. He took his time washing her hair, massaging her scalp with steady, soothing movements that made her practically purr.
By the time he was finished, she felt weightless, like every last trace of stress had been washed away along with the suds.
Bucky shifted slightly, reaching for the soap. “Your turn,” she murmured sleepily, turning in his arms so she could return the favor.
He raised a brow, smirking. “I think I like being pampered more than I should.”
She laughed softly, rolling her eyes as she lathered the soap between her hands before running them over his broad shoulders, tracing the lines of his muscles. “Big bad Winter Soldier likes bubble baths. Who would’ve thought?” she teased.
“Only when my best girl is in them with me,” he shot back without missing a beat.
Warmth spread through her chest, and she didn’t bother fighting the smile that tugged at her lips. She took her time washing him, running her fingers through the short strands of his hair, over the defined muscles of his back, down his arms. When she reached his vibranium arm, she hesitated for only a moment before pressing a soft kiss to the cool metal.
Bucky went still, his breath catching for the briefest second before he let out a quiet exhale, resting his forehead against hers.
“I love you,” she whispered again, just because she could.
His grip tightened on her waist, like he needed to anchor himself to the moment. “Love you too, Doll,” he murmured, voice barely above a breath.
Eventually, the water started to cool, and Bucky pressed one last kiss to her shoulder before reluctantly shifting. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you dried off and into bed.”
She sighed dramatically, making no move to get up. “Carry me?”
Bucky chuckled, rolling his eyes fondly before standing and lifting her effortlessly into his arms. She let out a sleepy giggle, tucking her face into the crook of his neck as he stepped out of the tub, wrapping her in a fluffy towel before grabbing one for himself.
As he carried her into the bedroom, she sighed contentedly. “Best night ever.”
Bucky grinned, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Good. ‘Cause I plan on making this a regular thing.”
She hummed, already half-asleep in his arms. “M’not gonna argue with that.”
Bucky just chuckled, holding her a little tighter, savoring the warmth of her in his arms, the quiet, perfect peace of the moment. For the first time in a long time, everything felt right. And as he tucked her into bed, wrapping himself around her like he never wanted to let go, he knew there was nowhere else in the world he’d rather be.
——————————————————————————————————
I got you, Hun! Hope you enjoyed it. 😉🫶
92 notes · View notes
lucyandalexiafan · 1 year ago
Text
It’s Lucy | Lucy Bronze x reader
Summary: reader has a panic attack and Lucy tries to comfort her.
Warnings: angst; allusion to past violent/abusive relationship with family/partner.
Words: 1.9k
I sit against the radiator of the bathroom.
Same place where I sat as a child, when I cried hiding myself in the same type of room and behind that door.
That door that I was forced to close in silence so that no one would know I was inside, leaving only the small light on the cabinet.
I always ended up in the same position.
Back against the radiator.
Head on knees.
Arms holding the legs to the chest, the calves against the thighs.
It's the same position I have now.
And, like then, the chest twists on itself due to the sobs.
Tears running down my cheeks.
I bite my lip until it bleeds in an attempt to hold back the laments, the noises.
Like when I was a kid and didn't want to disturb anyone.
But now I'm alone, at home.
In another city.
In another country.
But that anxiety never goes away.
That fear of being heard.
That fear of being discovered.
That fear of making the situation worse.
Lucy isn't there.
She is at the Barcelona camp, somewhere around Portugal.
Jona had allowed me not to go.
He had seen how bad I was, how badly I was playing, and he had asserted that my mental health was more important.
He had insisted that I was supposed to stay in Barcelona, at home.
So why do I feel so guilty?
I had put my phone on not disturb mode and the only thing I have done during these days as an attempt to communicate was reply to his text every night.
I'm okay.
No more words, no less.
It didn't matter what he wrote to me.
It didn't matter what he was talking about.
It didn't matter what photo he sent me of the team.
I didn't answer anything other than I'm okay.
It didn't matter if it was a lie.
I hadn't checked the messages and calls from Lucy, from Alexia, from the team.
I was, and am, too scared to read them.
To confront the disappointment they feel about me not being with them.
For my having stayed at home.
For my not being enough.
The fear of finding out that Lucy is mad at me makes me nauseous every time.
So I can't look at them.
Read them.
Answer to the calls.
And also because I hadn't heard my voice since she left and it wouldn't surprise me to know that it's gone.
Since Lucy had left I had spent the days at home, alternating between the living room and the bedroom.
A sense of nausea, fear, discomfort pervaded my body since the first second that I was alone.
Preventing me from eating.
Preventing me from going out.
Preventing me from doing anything other than lying still.
Lucy had left, she was forced to leave, having no justification not to.
Mapi was injured, so she was in Barcelona.
She had tried to convince me to open the door of the house: she had camped out on the landing of the floor all the first night, until the next morning the old woman from the flat next to mine had threatened to call the police if she didn't leave.
Three days had passed.
I didn't expect her to come back.
I love her, we are friends, but I never thought I deserved that treatment, that attention, that try one more time.
And, in the end, she had only confirmed my idea, my feeling of not being enough.
My nails penetrate the flesh of my calves.
My hands crush the skin.
I feel dirty.
Useless.
How is it possible that I can't even do my job anymore?
The house lock clicks.
I gasp in fright.
I hold my body even tighter as if this could protect me.
I will not move.
I don't know who they are, but it's not important.
I'm not important.
I hear footsteps.
The sound of an object being thrown to the ground.
The sounds of some doors being opened.
Are they thieves?
It does not make sense, it's still evening.
Maybe it's Lucy.
But why didn't she call me?
I bite my lip.
Then I hear the bathroom door open.
“Amor”
I huddle in on myself.
I try to disappear, to merge with the radiator.
Is she angry?
Does she want to hurt me?
I close my eyes.
“Amor”
I whine.
The pain in the chest increases more and more.
I hear her sit on the floor.
“Don't hurt me, please”
I hear her holding her breath.
“Amor, look at me”
I shake my head.
“I'm sorry Lucy… I'm sorry, I really am - I moan, blood dripping down my calves - I swear… it wasn't enough, but I tried”
There is silence.
Why doesn't she scream?
Why doesn't she hit me?
I feel arms hugging me.
I squirm.
I try to move her away, to push her away.
I don't deserve this affection.
I can't even do my job.
Study.
Leave the house.
Why doesn't she hit me?
Her hair touches my nose.
My forehead against the crook of her neck.
She says something to me but I can't hear it.
The noise in my head is too loud.
The noise of the beats, of the tachycardia, invades the ears.
A dull, constant, fast sound.
I tell her that I can't hear, that I can't understand.
I hold her tight.
My nails dug into the sleeve of her arm.
My tears wet her shirt.
She asks me if she can medicate me.
The worried, sweet voice.
I don't answer, scared at the idea that it's an excuse to leave.
To hurt me.
She asks it again, telling me that she would like to treat my calves.
I swallow saliva.
I grip her forearm tightly.
Two of her fingers rest against my chin.
They force it upwards.
Her eyes fixed on mine.
“Everything will be fine, you just have to cooperate with me, okay?”
I look at her scared.
“Please… Please don't hurt me”
Her gaze softens even more.
She tells me that the only thing she will do to me is medicate me, that she won't hurt me.
She then walks away towards the medicine cabinet.
She opens it and takes out a first aid kit.
The one where there are gauzes, disinfectant, plasters and everything else.
She approaches again.
“Now, every time I do something I'll tell you, so you know what's going on and you can stop me if you need to, okay?”
Will she stop or is she lying?
I nod slightly, too weak to protest, to oppose her.
She opens the kit and I flinch at the sound of the zipper opening.
She soaks a piece of cotton with some disinfectant.
“Amor, can you stretch your legs a little? This will make it easier to disinfect the cuts"
I don't respond, I just execute.
She asks me to leave them slightly bent, so that they don't touch the ground.
I feel the sting of disinfectant on a cut.
I groan in pain, sucking air between my teeth.
Her other hand touches my knee, the thumb caressing the skin.
“I'm sorry, I swear - I whisper, scared, hesitating when her eyes look into mine - I didn't think... I'm so sorry”
“Amor, don't worry” she whispers before chastely kissing my knee.
Then she continues, wound by wound, to disinfect me.
Why does she disinfect them?
Why is she so caring?
I don't deserve it.
I know it, and I bet she knows it too.
If she wants to hurt me why does she medicate me?
“I think it's better to not cover them, so they'll dry quickly, okay?”
I nod.
I no longer look into her eyes.
I look at her hands.
They are stained with my blood.
They smell of disinfectant.
The air smells of disinfectant.
Is she angry?
Why is she so sweet?
So loving?
I bite my lip.
Her shirt is stained with disinfectant.
Or maybe it's blood?
The spot is dark, small.
“Can you get up? So we can go to bed."
I plant a hand against the floor, but as soon as I try to get up I feel my strength fail.
I shake my head moaning softly.
I curl up in fear that she will hit me.
That she will start screaming.
Will she hurt me for this?
I close my eyes in terror as she approaches me, her arms raised towards me.
“Can I pick you up so I can take you to bed?”
I watch her.
Eyes widening.
She-
That's why she is so caring.
Of course.
Why did I believe there was no ulterior motive?
How could I be so stupid?
How long was she at the camp?
A week?
Is that why she medicated me?
Because then we can go to bed and-
I push myself towards the radiator
The fear that it will happen again, that she will hurt me too, invades my body.
The memories that come back to mind.
My hands hold my legs, my back pressed against the radiator.
“Please… don't hurt me - she looks at me confused, her lips parted - We-we will do it, I swear - I gasp in terror - but not now, I beg you. I-I don't feel I can do it."
She looks at me.
The confusion in her eyes.
She hesitates, pulling her arms back against her body.
“I just want to make you lie down, you can't stay on the floor all evening” her voice worried.
Maybe scared of my reaction.
“We won't do anything, I promise - I look at her - I just wish you were in a more comfortable place”
I look at her trying to figure out if she's lying about herself.
Maybe she really just meant-
“You won't hurt me?” I ask hesitantly.
She shakes her head.
Her lips parted.
“I would never hurt you, amor”
A hint of urgency in her voice.
Can I trust her?
It's Lucy.
I can trust Lucy.
Right?
It's Lucy.
The sweet girl who gave me Lego flowers because she had seen them in a store and she had thought of me.
The loving girl who always hugs me because she knows that physical contact is the only thing that calms my anxiety.
The caring girl who always orders my favorite pizza when she understands that I'm having a bad day.
It's Lucy.
With her transparent glasses, nose piercing and freckles.
I bite my lip.
The tears welling up in my eyes.
Why do I always ruin everything?
She'll dump me after this.
She won't want to deal with me anymore.
I look at her again.
I know that if she tries to hurt me I won't stop her.
I will cry, but I won't fight her.
I don't have the force to do it.
Ever since I ran away from that house I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone hurt me or hit me, but the reality is that now it is so difficult to fight, to oppose, her.
I nod.
She's right, I can't spend all night on the floor.
In one way or another, we will end up in that bed together.
In one way or another, if she wants, she will find the opportunity to hurt me.
Her arms lift me up.
One under the crook of the knees, one under the middle of the back.
I instinctively push myself against her chest.
My hands clutching the fabric of her t-shirt.
The tears that wet it.
“I-I'm sorry Lucy”
She places me on the bed.
She kisses my forehead, then my nose.
“Don't think about it now, - she kisses my nose again - Whatever happened, it doesn't matter. I love you” she whispers, before lying down next to me, covering us with the blankets and hugging me.
It's Lucy.
I'm not sure that the way I wrote the allusions to Reader's past life is correct: in my native language they work, but I'm not familiar enough with English to know 100/100 if the way I wrote them is correct. If they are wrong please point it out to me, explain me what is the correct way and I will change them (so I can learn for the next time too). Thank you so much:)
300 notes · View notes