#to at the same time comfort myself when i had no job and maybe even to comfort myself for being scared

[waliminium]

Everything But Goodbye

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader Warnings: angst, mild language, comfort after hurt, emotional suppression, repressed feelings Word Count: 1.3k Summary: When you take a job offer from another firm without telling Harvey, it feels like a betrayal. Harvey acts cold, like it doesn’t matter. But when he shows up at your apartment unannounced the night before your final day, the truth spills out—angry, broken, and full of all the love he tried to suppress.

It started with silence.

Not the cold kind, not at first. Not the kind that cuts or leaves bruises in its wake.

No. The beginning of the end came quietly—late nights where your voice stayed in your throat, half-smiles across Harvey Specter’s office that never quite landed, a hesitation before knocking on his door. You had always knocked before entering, but he used to say “Come in” before you even raised your hand.

Lately, he didn’t say anything at all.

And you didn’t know how to say I’m not sure I belong here anymore without sounding like betrayal.

So instead, you said nothing.

And he didn’t ask.

Pearson Specter had been your second home for years. A battlefield, a family, a place where ambition didn’t come with shame. Harvey had made you feel like you belonged in a world made of sharks, suits, and scotch.

But over the past few months, it had started to feel like the walls were closing in. That same ambition that once made you feel powerful began to feel like a leash. You were good—damn good—but you were still Harvey’s associate. Still in his shadow. Still waiting for a recognition that never came.

You didn’t need him to hold your hand.

You just needed him to notice you were drowning.

When the offer came in—senior partner, another firm, your name on the door—you didn’t jump. You read it five times. Slept on it. Waited.

Waited for him to say something. Anything.

He didn’t.

So you said yes.

And you still didn’t tell him.

He found out from Donna.

You knew that’s how it would go. You hadn’t expected her to lie for you. But it still stung, hearing your name laced in tension as he closed the door to his office a little harder than usual. Donna avoided your eyes the rest of the day.

You didn’t see him after that.

Not until the night before your last day.

It was raining—because of course it was. A downpour in the middle of spring, when the air was warm but the storm was unforgiving. You’d just gotten out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and too exhausted to care about dinner, when the knock came.

You frowned. You weren’t expecting anyone.

When you opened the door, you froze.

Harvey Specter stood in the hallway, soaked through, shirt plastered to his chest and jacket dripping on your welcome mat.

Your heart plummeted.

“Harvey—”

He brushed past you.

No greeting. No smile. Just quiet fury in a perfectly ruined suit.

“What the hell is this?” he asked, holding a crumpled letter—your resignation.

You closed the door slowly, your hands trembling. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You think I give a damn about where I should be right now?”

He dropped the letter on your counter like it was poison.

“I had to hear from Donna that you were leaving. Donna. Not you. Not a conversation. Not even a goddamn email.”

You swallowed hard. “I was going to tell you.”

“When? Tomorrow, after you cleared your desk? Maybe I’d find a post-it that said ‘Thanks for the memories’?”

“I didn’t think you’d care,” you said, quieter than you meant.

That did it.

He stepped forward, and there was something feral in his eyes.

“You didn’t think I’d care?” he repeated, voice sharp and rough. “You’re the only person I’ve trusted at that firm in the last five years, and you thought I wouldn’t care?”

“You’ve been shutting me out for months, Harvey!”

“And you decided to walk away without even talking to me first!”

“I tried!” you shouted, voice cracking. “I waited for you to notice! I waited for you to see me. But you were too busy pretending I didn’t matter. So I made a choice for myself for once!”

He stared at you, breathing hard. Rainwater clung to his lashes, and it hit you how rare it was to see him this undone.

“You mattered more than anyone,” he said, lower now. “That’s the problem.”

You blinked.

He dragged a hand through his soaked hair, stepping away from you like he couldn’t trust himself if he stayed close.

“You mattered, and I didn’t know what to do with that. I thought—if I kept things simple, if I kept my distance—then maybe I could survive it. Maybe I could keep being your boss and not completely lose my goddamn mind every time you smiled at me like I was something more.”

Your breath caught.

“I thought I could be okay watching you move on, take bigger roles, maybe fall in love with someone better than me. But I didn’t think you’d leave.”

His voice cracked on the last word.

You took a step forward. “Harvey…”

“You broke something,” he said, jaw clenched. “You broke something I didn’t even know I still had in me to break.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“Then why didn’t you fight for it?” he snapped, and for a second he looked like a man begging and breaking all at once. “Why didn’t you slam my door open and demand I see you? Why did you walk away like it was easy?”

“Because loving you isn’t easy,” you whispered.

The room went still.

He stared at you like he’d been punched.

You hadn’t meant to say it.

But there it was.

“I love you,” you said, quieter now. “And it hurts.”

His eyes closed, just for a second, like he needed a moment to keep standing.

“I never asked you to love me,” he said hoarsely.

“No. You didn’t,” you agreed, tears slipping down your cheeks. “You just made me believe there was something real between us. And then you made me feel stupid for wanting more.”

He didn’t move.

You took a breath, every inch of you aching. “So I left. Because I couldn’t stay in that office one more day and pretend it didn’t kill me to stand next to you and mean nothing.”

Harvey looked up at you then, and something in him broke.

“You never meant nothing.”

“Then why did you treat me like I did?”

“Because I’m in love with you, and I didn’t know how to handle it!” he roared.

You flinched.

He paced the room, chest heaving, dragging his hands down his face like he was trying to scrub away years of repression.

“I’ve been in love with you for so long, and it scared the hell out of me. Because you’re brilliant and kind and everything I don’t deserve. And I thought if I kept you at arm’s length, I could keep you.”

He turned back to you, and his voice cracked open completely.

“But I didn’t keep you. I lost you. And I did it to myself.”

You were crying now—really crying—and when he took a cautious step forward, you didn’t stop him.

“I love you,” he said again, but this time it was broken. “I love you, and I’m sorry it took losing you to say it.”

You reached for him like you’d been drowning and he was the only thing left.

He folded into you instantly.

His arms wrapped around you tightly, anchoring you, holding you like he was afraid the world might take you from him if he let go.

“I should’ve told you sooner,” he murmured against your hair.

“I should’ve stayed,” you whispered back.

“You were right to leave,” he said, surprising you. “I didn’t give you a reason to stay. But if you give me another chance… I will.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him, to search his face for doubt.

There wasn’t any.

Only regret.

Only love.

Only him. Then, quietly—like the silence that had started it all—he cupped your face in his hands, reverent, careful, and kissed you.

It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t angry.

It was everything unsaid, everything broken, everything healed in the space between two heartbeats.

It was a beginning.

And this time, it didn’t start with silence.

[quilleth]

the extreme level of 0 fucks to give i feel about work lately is kind of problematic. but also...i give 0 fucks about it. just absolutely 0 motivation beyond the most bare minimum i can get away with doing and that's not even really motivation. that's just "i need to not be a complete bump on a log or i will get fired and we literally cannot afford to live if i do not have a job and also i would lose my admittedly very good healthcare that is covering therapy and medications and testing for my adhd, insomnia, and chronic fatigue." but like i don't care about it. i'm back in the office full time (i work remote during breaks) and i'm dreading it

[mifunebooty]

Really funny this white dude in my speech class group i remember he kept making eye contact with me and i was like does he like me um and turns out he did that with everybody white people weird

[tkbrokkoli]

:O

[caffeinewitchcraft]

AITA for divorcing my vampire husband because he lied to me about his human job?

I (542 vampire) and my husband (260 vampire) have been together for a little over two centuries. There’s a saying in the vampiric community that it takes a century for a tryst to become an enduring partnership and another century to become soulmates. I thought that was true and that Matthew (using his real name because fuck you, Matthew) and I would be together forever…until this week.

First, let me explain a few things to the mortals here. I don’t mean that negatively – I came here specifically to get the opinion of those with a finite lifespan. However, I want to be fair to Matthew as much as possible and some of his decisions are very immortal-minded.

Both Matthew and I are vampires who have chosen to forsake some of our powers in exchange for the ability to daywalk. We made the transition together on our 100th anniversary almost 115 years ago. It wasn’t an easy transition for me. I was very dependent on human blood and I spent the first twenty years in almost constant sleep as my body adjusted to running off of less lunar magic and more solar magic.

It really felt like I was losing everything. My body got physically weaker and my powers began to disappear one by one. It felt like every time I woke, another part of me was missing. One day I could turn into a wolf, the next I could barely turn into a vapor. I could command a legion of undying servants, and then I could barely convince the mailman he didn’t see me levitate down from the second floor.

Matthew, however, took to daywalking like a werewolf to a sheep farm. He barely seemed to feel the pain of losing his power, maybe because he was so much younger than me. Whatever the case, he was out all the time once he stabilized. He would be gone for days sometimes and when he came back it was with fantastic stories about the humans’ new inventions or the new structures being built in whatever town we were in.

I’m not saying I regret transitioning. Just that Matthew and I had very different experiences. It felt like he barely changed at all while my entire being got rewritten. Being immortal makes you comfortable in your own skin. I never doubted myself or my power after I turned 100. But becoming a daywalker made me feel like I was being born as a human again. It was humiliating and vulnerable. I have to admit there were times I resented how easily Matthew did it. I blamed him for not supporting me like I thought he should. I would daydream about draining a human in front of him, showing him what I thought of his fascination with them. I had all sorts of vile and vengeful thoughts. I’m not proud of the person I was and now I’m grateful Matthew wasn’t there to see the lows I sunk to.

Despite all my awful thoughts, I didn’t quit. I don’t know why, but I didn’t. I stuck with it and, day by day, things got easier.

After 26 years I began to stabilize. The benefits of being a daywalker slowly blossomed before me.  Now I can say that I am completely happy with my daywalker status and all the changes it’s brought.

I am the most mentally stable I have been since my Turning in 1482. It’s like I’m awake. The fits of rage that used to consume me for months at a time have completely disappeared. I don’t experience the same level of obsession I used to which has freed up a lot of my time that I used to spend stalking my victims.

However, that drastic of a change would be challenging in any relationship. Matthew and I ended up together because of my obsessive nature. Our relationship became strained when that part of me went dormant. He expected me to follow his immersion into the human world just as I had followed him in his revenge quest against his Master. He expected me to support him wholeheartedly and with everything I was. He wanted sacrifices from me that I used to not even flinch at before making. But something was just…different. We wanted different things. I wanted different things.

Matthew was obsessed with being the perfect human. He craved full immersion. He still makes it a point to get a human job every twenty years or so. Me? I’m happy to live off our investments and some mild mind control while enjoying the art and theater community the humans have evolved.

It got bad. Some years, we spent like ghosts in our own house, drifting by each other without a glance. Other years, it was like we were spies behind enemy lines. He would do whatever he could to thwart me and I would go out of my way to ridicule him. Our vitriol poisoned the earth. Matthew didn’t speak to me for a full decade when that poison killed off an entire town.

About twenty years ago, it all came to a head. We had a serious sit-down talk about our relationship. It wasn’t easy. What they say about teaching an old dog new tricks is sometimes true. Matthew wanted me to be as involved with the humans as he was. He wanted me to care about them like he did. I wanted him to travel with me like we used to and not just hop from town to neighboring town (which he did to maintain a human identity with references so he could keep working). When it became clear that we were at an impasse, I brought up the idea of separation.

Separating in the vampiric world isn’t easy. There are a lot of alliances and blood oaths to be considered. Over the two centuries we spent together, we became known as a unit to a number of supernatural entities that we maintain an uneasy truce with. Separating would mean creating new oaths and alliances with the same individuals. And there was no guarantee that those individuals would make new pacts with both of you. A LOT of vampire couples end up in blood feuds while separating. Neither of us wanted that.

There was also, of course, the emotional side of things. While a lot of immortals tend to only feel muted emotions (especially vampires as old as me), Daywalking had made both of us more sensitive than we’d been before. We were both attached to the memories we shared and neither of us could imagine life without the other. After 200 years together, it felt like Matthew was my right arm, and I his. When I brought up separation, we both felt it like we were discussing an amputation.

After about a year of talking, we finally reached an agreement. We didn’t want to separate, and so we would compromise. I wouldn’t interfere with any of Matthew’s human jobs for the 15-17 years if he could hold them without arousing suspicion. In exchange, he would take a year off to go traveling with me before finding another town for us to live in. In between my trips, he would go to plays and galas with me to enjoy human artistry at least once a month.

Maybe our deal was in his favor. At the time, it felt practical and fair. A year of traveling wouldn’t undo Matthew’s string of connections. We would still see each other frequently by going on dates that I liked. Matthew would get to stay immersed in the human world at the level he wanted, and I could stay within my comfort zone.

Which brings me to my current problem.

We are currently at the start of one of Matthew’s work cycles. He’s been everything from a fireman to a politician to a subway worker to a barista. He craves knowledge and connection to a terrifying degree. If it weren’t for how we move every 20 years and he goes without protest, I’d call it obsession.

This cycle, Matthew told me he was going to be a teacher. I was hesitant. While the humans have become more tolerant and less violent over the years, that doesn’t mean they will tolerate us near their young. Enough humans know about vampires that staking in the modern era is a real possibility. Matthew could incite an angry mob against us or, heaven forbid, get a vampire hunter on our tail. I have yet to be shot, but I hear that they have silver bullets that hurt like Hell.

When I voiced my protests, Matthew reminded me about our agreement. He said that I wouldn’t interfere with his jobs and he’d go to all the plays I liked. He even pointed out that, as a teacher, he could get us into high school plays and expositions. I was uneasy, but agreements are penultimate to immortals. I silenced my objections and let him get a job as a science teacher at a local high school.

When Michael has had jobs in the past, I’ve never really paid attention. One time he was a state senator for ten years and I never even heard him speak. I didn’t consider it worth my time to hear whatever his facsimile of a human would say. Real humanity is in the art they create, not in the parody Michael enacts.

But this one…I couldn’t ignore this one. Maybe it was because I was still uneasy about his proximity to human young or maybe I could sense his lies even at the beginning. Whatever the case, I watched him.

The first thing I noticed was the hours. He would go to work early and would often come home when it was time for us to sleep. When I asked him about it, he said that he wasn’t used to grading and that he had underestimated what it took to put a good lesson plan together. I visited some online forums and that’s apparently reasonable for first year teachers.

He would also sometimes go in on the weekends. He missed one of our dates because there was a “grading emergency” that needed his immediate attention. Something about a student’s test getting lost and then found and he needed to input their grade before the deadline which was on Saturday. Humans like silly rules like that so I didn’t even look that one up. I just reminded him that he couldn’t miss our dates again or else he was breaking our deal. He apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again.

Then about three months into his new job, the phone calls started. We have a private room in our house for when we need to talk without any visitors overhearing. Michael moved all his school supplies in there, saying that he needed a silent space to concentrate on his grading. Whenever he got a call, he would never answer it in front of me. Instead, he’d say “Sorry, work” and just go into his office.

I also noticed that he didn’t dress very professionally. Human fashion changes quickly so it didn’t register at first. A sweatshirt here and there slipped past me, and also the Gucci slides. When he started wearing baggy jeans and jerseys to work, I noticed. I may not be up to date on all the newest fashions, but I do go to classy events. I know what a slob looks like and it didn’t sit right with me that he was wearing that to school. When I asked him about it, he always had an excuse. “This is what everyone wears” and “It’s a theme day” or, bafflingly, “It’s spirit week!”

I tried to leave it alone. The reason we have stayed together for so long is because of our agreement to not interfere in each other’s lives. But between his hours, the phone calls, and his appearance, something didn’t add up.

Then, last Thursday, he missed another one of our dates. We were supposed to go to the Nutcracker together. Even though I prefer matinees (when the cast is fresh), I agreed to get us tickets for the evening show so that he wouldn’t have to leave work early. When he wasn’t there at 7pm, I called him and he didn’t answer. Then, when I called him again, his phone was switched off.

I was furious. I spend nearly two decades in these tiny towns so he can live his human fantasy and he can’t even show up for one two hour show? It was the first time since becoming a daywalker that I felt that angry. I was scared about what I might do, so I made myself go home to wait for him.

Only, he never came home that night. At 3am, he sent me a text apologizing and promising to make up our date on Saturday. But the Nutcracker was only playing until Friday and that would be too little, too late. To be honest, it already was. I texted him that and he never responded.

He never ended up coming home last weekend. I texted and called him probably a dozen times and he never responded. I got angrier and angrier as the days dragged by. Did he think I was someone to be taken lightly? Did he not realize that the fragile agreement between us was all that was keeping us from separation?

Yesterday (Monday), I couldn’t take it anymore. If he wasn’t going to come home or respond to my messages, then I would go to him. If he was so obsessed with this new job that he would ignore me for it, then I knew exactly where to find him.

I arrived at his school at 10am. I researched enough to know how to go to the office and sign myself in. I asked the office assistant which room Mr. Duetto was in.

The lovely young woman looked confused. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out to anyone but family,” she said.

“I am his only family,” I said.

She clicked a few more keys and looked more confused. “His paperwork only shows his mother, Delilah Duetto.”

That’s right. His mother. But I still didn’t understand then.

“That’s me,” I said.

“You are not the mother of 17-year-old.”

“I’m his wife,” I said.

She was upset by that. I won’t bore you with every detail, but I had to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call the police. I may not look like someone who has a teenager, but I also don’t look like a teenager. I ended up having to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call human CPS on an apparent adult swearing she was married to a minor.

I went home and broke into his office. There weren’t any lesson plans. There were no graded papers. There were syllabus from different classes, homework with his name on it, and a few polaroids taped to the bottom of his desk of him at a party with children.

Human children. I don’t honestly know which is worse.

(EDIT: I know the child part is the worst part. I misspoke because of my anger. It’s not the humans’ fault that my husband is a pervert.)

I broke into his laptop and used that to check his text messages. He’s been texting like a high schooler. He’s been to parties with them, listened to their problems and even fabricated a few of his own. He’s caught in some sort of weird love triangle where a freshman girl likes him but his “best friend” likes her. He has texted both of them about it, promising his “bro” that nothing is happening and then turning around and leading this girl-child on.

Some choice quotes: I should know better than to get close with you. You and I come from very different worlds

To which she replied, lol maybe we should let our worlds collide

!!!!

I find the entire situation disgusting. Matthew is several centuries older than them and he definitely knows better. He’s literally wearing the sheep’s fleece amongst the flock. He has no business forming relationships with human children and even less pretending to be one of them. He’s not a baby. He is over two centuries old!

What is he doing flirting with a child? It’s vile and disgusting and I was set to kill him for it.

I confronted him about it when he came home last night. I told him that he was sick and dangerous and if he loved humans then he needed to stop immediately. I told him we either left town today or I would make sure he never set foot back in that school in a way he really wouldn’t like.

 He threw a huge tantrum over my invading his privacy. He shouted at me that I had broken my promise to never interfere in his job. He called me controlling and crazy.

I told him he was the crazy one for chatting up a child. He told me he wasn’t, she was just his friend. I asked him to read their texts out loud if he was being so friendly. I also pointed out that there was no way a 260-year-old vampire is a child’s friend.

He told me I was a hypocrite because I basically cradle robbed him (we’re almost 300 years apart.) He said if anyone was disgusting, it was me for taking advantage of him.

I pointed out that he wasn’t a child, he was over 60 and had already been a vampire for four decades. He argued that that was basically being a child in vampire terms.

I was so angry at that point that the house was shaking. I told him if he felt that way, then we could get divorced right then and there. That that was what I wanted to do anyway because I couldn’t be married to a pedophile.

He asked me if I was seriously going to start a blood feud over him immersing himself in human society. I said no, I’m starting a blood feud because he’s become every predatory stereotype humans have of vampires.

He called me a hypocrite again and told me he was leaving. He said not to call him unless I was ready to apologize. I told him that the next time he sees me, he’d better run before I showed him the real difference between us. And it wasn’t just 300 years.

When I calmed down, doubt started creeping in. From an immortal perspective, what he’s doing isn’t really wrong. I hate to say it, but most immortals don’t view human lives as significant. I know a few vampires who would say that divorcing because he’s playing with his food is idiotic.

Plus, there’s the agreement to consider. During our fight, Matthew pointed out that being a student is a job to humans. So therefore I didn’t have the right to interfere. A big part of me thinks that’s bullshit, but a small part of me wonders if he’s maybe right about that?

I also have to ask myself why this even bothers me. I’m the one in the relationship that is aloof from humans. I’m the one that’s always saying we are from different worlds (Yeah, he stole that from me) and for good reason. 

But over the years, I’ve become fond of humans. No immortal makes art like them. I may not remember my time as a mortal, but there are works that give me a sense of nostalgia. Sometimes I think I can remember being a child myself, standing in a field like in Monet painting, staring at the wheatstacks and waiting for the miller to come. 

The thought of Matthew playing with them makes me sick. It’s like even after all the years of him living amongst them, he thinks of them as props in his twisted play. It’s even worse that he’s doing this to children. 

I can’t help but think something went really wrong with my husband when I wasn’t looking. At the very least, I’m planning on divorcing him. But would I be the asshole if I killed him too?

 Separating from him will be violent and messy. There will likely be human casualties. But I don’t see any other way. So, I ask.

AITA for divorcing my husband for lying to me about his human job?

----

Thanks for reading! I loved answering some of the responses I got when I first posted this over on my Patreon (X)!

These collaborative story telling pieces are the highlight of my week. Next week's story is about a witch who wants to know if she should attend her high school reunion even though she's responsible for stripping two former classmates of their magic...

Please check that out here (X) if you''d like early access! Otherwise I'll see y'all next week :)

[theobservatory]

i love the way you write about jason, especially in the confession post- can i request jason with a very very talkative SO??

Thank you pookie !! Hopefully I didn't make reader annoying, I kinda based her off myself when I start feeling manic lmaoo, it's the only time I really get talkative IRL so it was kinda all I had to base it on

｡⁠.ﾟ✧ ˎˊ˗

Talkative｡⁠.ﾟ★ ˎˊ˗

｡⁠☆Synopsis: a few snapshots of you talking Jason's ear off

｡⁠☆Cw: mention of harassment, inane conversation topics, mention of body horror

You're sitting on the couch. One of Jason's large hands is rubbing little circles on your thigh, the other is holding his phone as he gets as much work done as he can without his computer. He would go get it, but you've already gotten comfortable laying your head on his shoulder.

"So then Alyssa- you remember Alyssa, don't you?" No, he does not. "So Alyssa tells Jackson to go file the rest of the reports, right?"

"Mhm."

"Right, only for him to quit, right on the fucking spot. Like I don't like this job either, but I'm still giving my two weeks because some of us still have courtesy! It's not about the business, it's about our coworkers, our kinda friends who we'd rather not inconvenience because they're pleasant enough, but would never hangout with outside of work. God, he was an asshole anyway."

"I believe it."

"And then- wait oh my God, Jason! I completely forgot to tell you about Anna! The new girl! Turns out she's sleeping with our boss's son!" Oh, that guy he remembers.

"The guy who slapped your ass?" The same one who you said isn't bothering you anymore, and he's trying to trust you, but he doesn't really believe it.

"The one and only." You groan. "Must've moved onto fresh meat, poor Anna. She's a sweet girl y'know?"

"Mhm."

｡⁠.ﾟ✧ ˎˊ˗

"Jay."

He grunts, turning over in bed to look at you. Your eyes are wide in the moonlight, not a speck of the sleepiness that was there just a few minutes ago. Jason wishes he could share the sentiment. Frankly, he's exhausted, and he's been looking forward to sleeping all day.

"Do you ever think about the fact that we're all brains puppeting fleshy meat suits? How crazy is that?!"

Jason sighs. Half of his job in your life is to protect you from the horrors of the world, but sometimes he believes you are the horrors in question. Not that he minds. You can be a worm and he would love you all the same.

"Baby, go to sleep."

"But Jay, I can't stop thinking about it! We're just a bunch of nerves disguised by a vaguely animal flesh bag and-"

He presses a gentle kiss to your lips before pulling you into his chest.

"Sleep." He grunts again.

You laugh. "Okay."

The blissful silence doesn't last long.

"Jay?"

"Yes, nuisance who won't go to sleep?"

"Rude. I just wanted to tell you that you're my favorite meat puppet in the world, but maybe I take it back now."

"I'm okay with that."

"Jason!" You pinch his arm.

"If I tell you you're my favorite puppet will you go to sleep?"

"Yes."

"Then you're my favorite." Quieter he mumbles, "for some fucking reason."

｡⁠.ﾟ✧ ˎˊ˗

"Okay, now the recipe requires two eggs, a cup of water, and vegetable oil. Can you grab the eggs out the fridge for me."

"I got it."

"Thanks. Did you know my mom wanted to raise chickens when we were kids, even though I've never lived on a farm? Plus, I don't even like chickens, they're like tiny predators! If I had to-"

"Sweetheart, mix the eggs."

"Oh, right. If I had to choose between fighting one chicken sized horse, or one horse sized chicken, I would choose the horse every time!"

"Mhm."

"Well, I'm still biased because I like horses, but still! I don't know, maybe I should use the analogy with a wolf, because I'm still choosing the wolf every time."

"The next step?"

"Mix wet and dry ingredients together. Actually, while we're on the topic-"

New blog theme new me, y'all. Do we like it ? I made almost all the dividers myself (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

Not proofread as usual, posting this right before bed so I'll see y'all in the morning. I have a post about baby names ready for tomorrow, so look forward to that, and PLEASE give me your input I don't wanna give them dumb names 😔💔

｡⁠☆Requests Open...?

[invincibledc]

We still love you.

Pair: Batsibling!GN! Reader x Platonic! Batboys/Batfam

TW/CW: body dysmorphia, ed, comfort, angst to fluff, insecurities, bullying.

Note: I switched pov because I got lazy. This is also my first time writing something like this. But if you are ever suffering ed or bullying, please talk to someone. Handleing this such problems are harmful to you and your body. As much as you think it isn’t, it is. People are there for you, always.

Y/N L/N-Wayne who has a soft stomach, so smooth, a little round from when they were a child.

The youngest of the adopted kids of Bruce Wayne, the one who loves to eat, was always given seconds.

The one who Damian would always make sure you are fed well, his favorite non-blood sibling as he says.

The one who Dick loves to poke and play with their stomach ever since the young child was a baby. A baby who was found in a trash bin.

Jason who would always tell the child what was in the food so he can make sure they eat healthy as well.

Tim who loves to recommend small lunch dates with the foodie sibling.

The sibling who grew and lost a bit of that baby weight, who’s now a young teenager, fresh into middle school. Walking into class, there was a beautiful girl with fair skin and beautiful bright eyes.

The girl stared at the sibling with a slight disgust, seeing the poor teen sit down and pull out their binder and notebook.

The girl started to talk to the teen, telling them how their stomach was popping out. How their arms have too much fat onto it. The sibling didn’t care at first, ignoring it before the girl started to express her own thoughts.

“I would kill myself if I was fat. Literally, I’m so glad I’m skinny. Imagine taking up so much space just from standing?” She giggles with her friends at the table. The teen looked down, frowning as tears welled in their eyes.

Going home the same day, the young child looks at themselves in the mirror. Lifting up their shirt to show their soft belly. The round belly that looks enormous, that looks like it may burst the Jean button off it.

Slapping their stomach lightly, they couldn’t help but feel the tears start to fall. Were they always this fat? Chubby? They thought they already burnt the fat off…

Changing into some old Christmas pajamas, they were baggy enough to cover their body. Laying down on their back, they stared at the ceiling with knitted brows. Maybe they needed to lose some weight? Maybe it was for the better anyways, they kind of felt like they have been gaining some pounds.

For dinner, they sat with the family. Damian by their side as usual, the teenager with green eyes glanced at how his sibling would just pick at the food in the plate. They haven’t even eaten anything much on it.

Dick was currently telling the family at the table about his new day time job as a police officer. He had gotten a promotion. Jason sadly wasn’t at the table, he was eating in the library, not wanting to be seen by the family. Although the young bat could go see the quiet male.

Tim was doing his usual research in the batcave, so it really just left the teen, Bruce, and Damian with Alfred standing by.

“Why haven’t you eaten your food brother/sister?” Damian questions as he puts his silverware down.

Shrugging, the tween could only look at the plate. Seeing the food as the girl’s face who made fun of them. A sour expression fell onto the face of them, “Guess I’m not.. hungry.”

Damian’s eyes widen along with Dick who stopped talking to Bruce. Bruce and Alfred raised their brows. This young bat always loved to eat! Even have seconds… mostly not feeling hungry meant that they were sick.

Dick and Damian surrounded you with worry. “Are you okay?!” Dick says as he pressed a hand against their head. “Why haven’t you told any of us you were sick!?” Damian exclaims, ready to get medicine.

“No! I’m fine, I’m not sick.. just not hungry as I thought.” They explained, pushing their plate away from them. “I’m going to bed.” The tween scoots their seat from the table and walks away to upstairs and into their room. Leaving the men to discuss this strange event.

“What’s going on with them?” Dick says with worry, brows furrowed as he bites his thumb, thinking of the possibilities.

Damian crosses his arms, “I know they aren’t being bullied. To my awareness.” Now Damian feels a little concerned, or more likely ashamed if he hadn’t noticed his sibling being picked on.

Bruce frowns, Alfred taking the uneaten plate and putting it in the microwave in case the young child was ever hungry again.

“I’m sure they’ll tell us if anything is going wrong.” Bruce says, trying to settle his sons’s nerves. They stared at the man before Dick lets out a sigh.

“I hope…”

Next few days or at least a week were exhausting, you stopped eating a bunch. Only drinking water or taking small bites off of your saltine crackers you packed by yourself.

You sped walked past Alfred who held your lunchbox, but you gave him a strained smile and only told him “I packed my own lunch!”

Jason noticed something was wrong with you when Tim came to him saying you declined to go on a lunch date with him to that cafe you wanted to go to. Jason tried to go into your room, but it was locked. Thinking you were probably just trying to study alone, he left. But there was a sinking feeling in his stomach.

The day after, Dick tried to squeeze your stomach. “Here comes the ticket monster Lil bat!” He says as he squeezes your stomach. It was too late for you to even notice that he was behind you.

You smacked his hands angrily, “Don’t touch me! And stop doing that!” You yelled at him. That gained a lot of attention and raised flags for the brothers and father figure you have.

Dick backs up with raised hand, a frown written on his face. “I’m sorry..” he says softly, watching you walk away and go into your room.

“That’s strange…usually they just.. smile and tickle you back…” Tim says as he watches the door slam closed.

Bruce knew by then, you wouldn’t talk about it. The boys stared at the leader of the family, their eyes searching for an answer.

How will they approach this?

Walking into the house, you were shocked to see your brothers and father sitting all arranged into a circle. Staring at you, Alfred takes off your bag due to you being shocked.

Thoughts rushed your head, do they know you’re failing chemistry? Or was it math..you couldn’t tell what was going on other than this seems weird.

Their stares held deep worry and restlessness, you took small walks to them. “What’s going on guys?” You said with a weak smile, trying to lighten up the mood but failing as Jason has you sit by him.

“Kid. We have a feeling that something’s going on with you. Mentally.” Jason says as he place a hand on your upper back. You let out a shaky breath, “what are you guys talking about?”

“We’re talking about how you’ve been acting and your lack of eating.” Damian stated as he has his hands intertwined. “We’re significantly worried for you.”

“You’ve been skipping dinners.” Tim counted on his hand.

“Acting aggressive more lately at a slightest of usual things we use to do.” Dick says with a still frown, remembering how you yelled at him. 

You looked at Bruce for help, maybe to tell them that they’re the ones hallucinating. Bruce only shook his head at your stare, sharing the same concern as his sons.

“As we wish to not say it, we’ve come to the conclusion that… you are starving yourself into an eating disorder.” Dick says lastly. You felt cornered, eyes staring at you like a caged animal. You felt your heart drop, and was your breathing quickening as well?

You couldn’t tell as your vision get blurry, you were fine! Completely fine! Maybe you skipped a few meals, maybe you should’ve been more careful on making it obvious. Making it clear in how you would gag yourself to throw up foods when you ate too much. 

The boys were alerted at your panicking, Jason forced you to look at him as Tim runs off to get something for you.

“Kid, kid! Focus on my voice, focus on the three things you see.” He says sternly. You looked around frantically, seeing the color of your favorite blanket. “[color] blanket..” a nice flower pot by the couch. “Flower…” and then the mug Tim left days ago and hasn’t picked it up to clean it. “Mug…” after naming those three things, you started to calm a bit. Hand a little shaky as Jason rubbed patterns onto your back.

They gave you a moment to speak, you licked your dry lips and swallowed hard. Maybe… you do have an eating disorder, it’s all confusing. Wasn’t it helping you? Wasn’t it safe? You couldn’t help but cry into Jason’s shoulder. The male with a strike of white hair frowns at this and look at his brothers who looked the same as him.

“It’s okay, kid. We can get you help if you need it, we’ll be by your side.” You lifted your face up as you sobbed softly.

“Always lil bat.” Dick says with a soft smile as he looks at you looking back at him.

Tim nods, grabbing you some napkins as you let out all your insecurities to your brothers. Letting them know your deepest thoughts by these past days that went so quick only a month. Even explaining how it even started. You couldn’t help but break down again.

This was too much for you, your small brain thinking how you could even process starving yourself, going on a water diet, forcing yourself to throw up. All that to think it was helping you, only for it to harm you mentally and make you weak.

After breaking down, the boys hugged you tightly. “We still love you.” Jason says, holding you the tightest. All the boys hummed, Bruce smiled at his kids, all huddled up like birds trying to warm each other up.

“No matter what, no matter your appearance, we love you [nickname]” Tim says.

After the moment, Damian wiped your face with his hand with a rare soft smile. Tim brings you water after, with Jason rubbing your back and Dick talking to you still. “If you ever need us, don’t hesitate to talk to any of us.”

“And we mean any sweetheart. We’re your family, so we care for you. Don’t ever think we don’t.” Bruce says, walking over to you and ruffling your [texture] hair.

It took a slow process for you to get back into your habits of eating and being a foodie. Damian went into your class where that girl is. Seeing her expression of seeing THE youngest Wayne brother come into your class.

He glares at her, “You’re expelled by the way.” He says simply and leaves the room. He may have paid the principal to just get the advantage to do that. But no one messes with his sibling.

He loves you more than anything, they love you more than anything. They love you.

[wordsofwhimsy]

🅲🅾🅽🅲🆁🅴🆃🅴 🅵🅻🅾🆆🅴🆁🆂

A/N: I’ve been going BONKERS reading through all of the Mark Grayson x reader fanfics on here.  Y’all are so damn talented!!!  Got a girl having all the feels.  It really inspires me to write more myself :’).  The last thing I posted got a little bit of love & it really meant a lot to me!  I’m also going to try working on my formatting to make it more appealing.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ��ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

PAIRING: [Budding] Sinister!Mark Grayson x Reader

WARNINGS: Series-Typical Violence & Gore, suggestive abusive/possessive

INSPIRED: by the song “luther” by Kendrick Lamar & SZA

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

♫♪ If this world was mine… ♫♪

Something was changing in Mark.  The sweet, funny, and thoughtful guy you’d known for years was still there, but you’d noticed within the last few months that there was also something else—something much darker bubbling just below the surface.  At first you told yourself his heavy emotions were normal and made sense.  What he went through with his father was nothing short of traumatic, and he never truly had a chance to process any of it.  Not in the typical sense, at least.  No therapy, no counselors, no support groups.  Just himself, his mom, and all of the poor souls who dared to take up the mantle of being a career criminal.  Of course there was always you, but what words of wisdom could you really offer?  You were just a regular girl, working an ordinary nine to five as a library assistant.  The life he led was so fantastical and impossible for you to ever truly understand.  You loved him dearly and would always support him in any way you could, but the reality was you did not relate to his current life at all.

As time went on though you noticed that what started as a shadow within him was growing, becoming like a black sludge that would seep out of his mouth when talking about Cecil, or his father—or anything really that he disagreed with.  If you were being honest with yourself, it scared you.  You of course knew he was not his father and would never even conceive of committing such atrocities, but somewhere in the recesses of your mind you held the image of the destruction that was caused by Omni-Man, and then the knowledge that Invincible was more than capable of doing the same.  Not wanting to add the stressors that consumed Mark’s life, however, you never voiced these feelings.  But they were there nonetheless, and becoming harder for you to ignore.

♫♪ I'd take your dreams and make 'em multiply ♫♪

“I don’t understand what you’re so upset with me about [Name],” Mark stated, the irritation evident in his tone. “You wanted to become the lead librarian, and now you are. That’s literally what you asked for.”  You stared up at him incredulously, arms stiff at your sides with your hands clenched into tight fists.

“You have got to be kidding me right now Mark.” You waited a few moments, for some reason believing his senses would come back to him.  Instead, you were met with him starring evenly back down at you. Your eyes widened as you shouted, “You threatened Mrs. Crump into retiring!”

“I gave her strong encouragement.”

“Be so for real right now…” You dropped your head and covered your face with your palm, needing to regroup your thoughts. “Maybe I’m mistaken.  Did Invincible not show up at my job this morning and tell my boss that if she was smart, she would make this her last day?” His dark, slim eyes glanced away from you now as he gave no answer.  Your lips pursed as you slowly nodded your head, at a loss for words.  Mark looked back at you, his expression suddenly so soft and tender.  It almost made your heart flutter.

“Your life is so short, [Name],” he said in almost a whisper. “You deserve for every dream you ever have to become reality.  In fact you deserve even more!” All the built up tension in your muscles suddenly melted away as you instinctively reached out to take his hand in a comforting gesture.

“Oh—” Your fingers trace up the solid and muscled contours of his arm, gently grazing over his shoulder and neck to finally cup his jaw. Your eyes meet with his and you couldn’t help but feel a soft smile tug at your lips. “Mark… My life may seem short in comparison to yours, but understand that for me, it’s the longest thing I’ll ever experience.” Your words seemed to do nothing to comfort him as a look of frustration pulled at his features. You only continued to gently smile. “Besides, the fight for our dreams is the most important part of the adventure.”

This seemed to register for him, at least on some level. “I love you,” he hushed while holding your face in his calloused hands.  He leaned down to give you a soft, lingering kiss that made you weak in the knees.  This time, as was the case with every time that you began to worry about his dark tendencies, he touched you and flooded your brain with oxytocin causing you to forget all about your concerns.  Just like he wanted.

♪♫ If this world was mine, I'd take your enemies in front of God Introduce 'em to that light, hit them strictly with that fire ♪♫

This is a dream, you told yourself.  Every cell in your body was shaking in horror.  This is dream, you repeated in your mind, tears welling in your eyes.  This has to be a dream.  Mark stood facing you, donning his superhero attire.  Although the blood that heavily stained his right hand up to his elbow did not lend itself to the idea of heroism. “[Name],” he spoke your name so calmly.  Nausea churned in your stomach as you took a step back from him. “I had to do this.  His life was meaningless – he didn’t deserve to be on this planet with you.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look anywhere but at his face.  You didn’t dare see what was undoubtedly laid in a careless, bloodied pile at his feet. “You know that I’m right, [Name]. Don’t you understand? He was—”

“He was my father!” you cried, the tears now spilling freely from your swollen eyes. “How could you do this?!”

“How could I do what? Save you from his abuse? Spare you from another bruised eye or busted lip? Another horrible insult being spit at you from his vile mouth?” As he talked you could see the blackness gushing from his lips.  This was what you had feared all along but denied endlessly, until now.  And now it was far too late.  You took another step away from him and suddenly felt your back pressed into something solid and immovable.  Mark’s arms closed around you from behind, his face leaned down next to yours. “I am all you really need, [Name].  I can keep you safe.  No one else can do that for you.  Only me.” You sobbed without restraint, all of your body giving way under his embrace as he kept you on your feet effortlessly. “I know this is hard for you right now, but don’t worry, I promise you’ll understand someday.”

Having gone numb to your own senses, it took you several minutes to realize you were no longer on solid ground and instead floating above your father’s home.  It was quiet out, no sirens or people screaming.  Your neighborhood and the police were none the wiser.  And even if someone did know, what could they possibly do? “I love you, [Name].  I know you know that.  You might not feel the same right now, but I hope soon enough you will again.”  The tone in his voice left you feeling like you didn’t have a choice in the matter.  And suddenly, you could see the future clearly.  He would follow in his father’s footsteps, and this world would bend knee to his every whim.  You would be no exception.  In the name of self-preservation, you found yourself reaching up to hold onto his arms which still gripped tightly around your rib cage. 

“I love you too.”  The words surprised even you as they cracked out of your throat.  A low hum of satisfaction could be heard from Mark before he placed a tender kiss to the crook of your neck.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that.” He squeezed you even tighter, pushing the breath out of your lungs and putting a deep ache in your spine.  How could your sweet, thoughtful, caring boyfriend have changed so much? Where did the Mark you know go? Your stare fell back down to the roof of your father’s home and the sight immediately brought tears back to your eyes, blurring your vision. “Things in this world are going to be changing.” You bottom lip quivered at his words. “But don’t worry, I’ve done some things to your house just to make sure you can stay safe.  I can’t wait for you to see.” He placed another kiss to your throat, and you felt yourself slip out of your skin.  Nothing would ever be the same.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey! So this isn't a particularly exciting ask or anything, but I'm sending it bc I literally do not know who irl I can talk to.

Basically, my boyfriend and I (both virgins) tried having sex for the first time tonight, and it pretty much didn't work. It was kind of horrible and awkward, which was expected, but really it just didn't get anywhere at all. First the condom broke when he tried to put it on, which freaked him out so he couldn't get hard again. And we didn't really know how to just /start/ so we tried just going for it, but he, like, couldn't get his dick into my vagina? Which I'm pretty sure is not a me thing because I've fingered myself before just fine.

Anyways, we kind of just called it quits after kissing for a while, and now I just don't really know what to make of the whole experience. I want to have sex but rn I'm not even really sure if I want to try again. It was just so mortifying and unfun. Do you have any advice whatsoever?

hi anon,

oh boy! here are a few crucial points that jump out to me:

if the condom is breaking just from trying to put it on, something is wrong. the condom might be too small, or it may have been expired (which can make it brittle), or it may have been stored in a space that was too hot or too cold and weakened the condom's integrity. your boyfriend's nails may have had sharp edges that damaged the condom. maybe he just did a spectacularly bad job putting it on! review the best way to put a condom on together for better results next time.

you boyfriend's penis being flaccid definitely wasn't helping to make penetration any easier! generally speaking, you're going to want the penis to be erect for that.

everyone has different preferences, of course, but it's often helpful to do literally anything else prior to putting something directly in the vagina. kissing, cuddling, touching each other's genitals with hands, mouths, or any other body part you desire, etc. particularly for vaginal penetration, giving yourself time is helpful: it gives the vagina time to lubricate as well as for the process of tenting, during which the cervix and uterus draw back to create more space in the vaginal canal. much in the same way that you (probably) can't just stick a finger into your vagina without any warning or lube and have an enjoyable sexual experience, you need time to get ready with a partner.

having said all of that: this was your first time doing this. very few people are great at things on their first try. the first time I tried rollerskating outside I fell over a million mortifying times where all my neighbors could see. the first time I tried to cook chicken flautas I accidentally smoked up my kitchen so badly that my housemates and I had to temporarily evacuate our home while it aired out. the only way you learn how to do things is by fucking them up a few times. that's the most normal thing in the entire world.

try again or wait a while, whatever you prefer, but know that you're not missing out on some secret hack to have Perfect Cool Guy Sex that everyone knows but you. the way that good sex happens, which to me just means mutually enjoyable and comfortable sex, is by understanding that sex is a fundamentally messy and silly endeavor and finding someone with whom you can laugh through the dumb shit.

[myjjongie]

✶ FIREWORKS ── l. heeseung

IN WHICH: you and your boyfriend watch fireworks together on a summer night.

PAIRING: bf!heeseung x gf!fem reader GENRE/WARNINGS: lowercase intended !!, one shot, established relationship, angst, heavy on the angst, hurt/no comfort WORDS COUNT: 1.4k ₊⊹♡ EVIE'S NOTE: yeah, i did and didn't have fun writing this. lowkey hurt myself with one to be honest. sigh. also have another angst one shot i'm cooking up. at this point i'm just being evil :3

lee heeseung.

your boyfriend of what felt like more than 5 years. your first love since your junior year of high school. the man who was your first kiss, your first date, and the first person you lived with. heeseung ultimately was your first for everything.

and for heeseung? it was the same for him. you were his first for everything as well. as the years went on and those firsts you both shared together, you knew deep down heeseung would be your one and only in the near future.

soon it became summer—the sixth summer you would be spending with him. any chance you both had free time, there would be dates planned.

from watching new movie releases on weekends, to day trips on the beach, every date planned was filled with fun and new memories. as summer was coming to its end, there was an annual festival coming up.

heeseung and you were already in agreement to go together, already making sure anything that revolved around your jobs would be taken care of.

soon it was the weekend of the festival. dressed up in attire that matched one another’s, you both headed out. as you walked down the dirt path—filled with stalls of all kinds, from food to games to vendors. your hands were intertwined, swinging back and forth as you enjoyed the scenery around you.

as the night went on, heeseung won you stuffed animals and bought delicious food to share. the night felt perfect in your eyes. you couldn’t have asked for anything more, and for heeseung, it was the same.

as you both circled back around you checked the time. the fireworks display would be starting soon.

“hee, the fireworks are starting soon! i have a nice spot i saw earlier!” you chimed happily, giving him the happiest smile.

heeseung smiled fondly back at you. “okay. lead the way!”

shortly, you found the spot you remembered. a secluded on top of a grassy hill. the view overlooked the stalls below, leaving the sky view vast and open.

“wait this view is beautiful. you did an amazing job babe!” heeseung praised as he gave you a forehead kiss.

“what can i say!” you cheekily replied.

heeseung couldn’t help but laugh at your tone, causing a smile to form once again.

as you both settled down on the bench, you cuddled up to heeseung—head leaning on his shoulder as you fiddled with his fingers in your hand. one thing you did often whenever you cuddled him.

without a warning the first firework went off, causing the both of you to jump. realizing your reaction, you both shared a laugh, truly relishing in the moment. soon more fireworks went off in the night sky.

the blooming colors scattering the sky making you feel something. “i hope we have fireworks at our wedding.” your fingers tightening around heeseung’s.

“at our wedding? who says we’re getting married?”

your body froze for a second, your heart weighing down suddenly. maybe you heard him wrong. lifting your head from heeseung’s shoulder, you turned to look at him.

“huh?” you stared at him—confused. yet, when heeseung looked at you, it was as if he didn’t say anything wrong.

“who said we’re going to get married?�� he repeated, this time letting out a small laugh.

it didn’t sound malicious, it sounded like a fact—almost indifferent. you were speechless. your mind was thinking questions you wanted to ask right then and there. yet, you never said anything.

you let out a small laugh to dissuade the situation. “no yeah. we never even talked about marriage. what am i saying?” quick to dismiss the comment with a laugh. softly biting the inside of you mouth—hoping tears wouldn’t fall.

the rest of the night was silent on your end. “hey babe, is everything okay?”heeseung asked, concern in his tone.

“nothing. i’m just tired now.” you lied. you smiled at him, hoping heeseung would believe it. and that he did.

as summer officially ended, so did everything you felt. the past 5 years of love, thoughts of marrying heeseung, sharing a future. it all died that summer night.

once the late summer days rolled into the new season, your relationship changed with it.

before, you never fought with heeseung, not once did you raise your voice at him. yet now you did. minor things he could say or do upset you.

maybe you felt some resentment towards heeseung for what he said. in the end, you wouldn’t have doubted those feelings.

finally, one night heeseung noticed the change in your attitude—confused as to why you were suddenly like this—he confronted you.

pulling you down to the couch, heeseung spoke. “yn. talk to me. what’s going on? we’ve never fought like this before. yet now it feels like we do it every day?” despite what he said that night, heeseung still deeply loved you and cared for you.

but for you, you weren’t sure if you felt the same anymore. you hesitated for a moment, not daring to look him in the eyes. your fingers gripped at the fabric of your jeans. knuckles whitening as you internally fought yourself.

“why don’t you want to marry me?”

“what?” heeseung was stunned—taken aback by the question. he had forgotten about that night, thinking the comment made wasn’t serious.

“I asked, why don’t you want to marry me?” you repeated yourself, wishing for this one question to finally be answered.

“yn. where is this coming from?”

your head quickly turned to heeseung. “what do you mean where is this coming from? after all these years you’ve never once thought, ‘i’m gonna marry this girl’. you’ve never thought that?” your eyes began to sting, tears slowly brimming them.

“yn i love you. that’s true and will always be a fact. but. we’re so young still, i just don’t know if marriage is something i can think about yet…” heeseung’s voice was soft, yet it felt like knives were piercing your heart.

you could see the future ahead of you crumble away. “we’ve been dating since we were juniors. since we were seventeen. five years since then, and you don’t want to marry me?” your voice cracked as tears streamed down your face.

at this moment your heart was breaking apart, you couldn’t even look at the man you called your boyfriend. the same man you had been with for 5 years.

heeseung soon realized the fault in his words. “no yn. i didn’t mean it like that. what i’m trying to say is, i think i’m scared. i’m scared of messing things up, ruining everything, and just not being enough. marriage is this huge permanent thing. what if i ruin it?”

your glossy eyes looked at him, disbelief written on your face. “so you’d rather keep things uncertain? just let me keep planning a future you’re not even one hundred percent sure about?” you scoffed.

“yn. one thing is for certain. i’m sure about you. i’ve never been unsure about that.”

“then prove it…”

“i will. i promise.” heeseung hugged you, hoping to ease whatever you felt deep down. the only thing you could do was weakly hug him back.

in truth deep down, you knew he wouldn’t be able to. it wasn’t because he didn’t care, caring was never the problem. he loved you, yes—but he loved you in a way that didn’t reach the end of forever. heeseung feared that ledge more than loving you for a lifetime. that was the problem.

in the end, you stayed. you stayed because five years was hard to throw away. there were moments where you loved that comfort of familiarity, the shared laughter, his warm touch, waking up every morning next to him. as well as the simple things that reminded you of why you fell for him. you stayed because part of you was still in love with heeseung.

but soon, that love started to feel like a weight—heavy and uncertain.

as the weeks went on, you noticed the little things. how quick heeseung was to change the subject when you brought up the future. how his one promise rang more like a reassurance than a committed plan.

then one day, your heart stopped racing when you saw him—it sank. heeseung truly started to feel like a distant memory.

that summer night all those months ago opened your eyes to something. heeseung would never fully commit himself to a future with you, you would always be his girlfriend nothing more. you would never be a fiancé, wife, or even a mother.

then one day as the air began to chill and the leaves fell from the trees—signaling fall was finally here—you ended things with heeseung.

perm taglist ( open! refer to this post ) . . . @ikeulove @leehsngs @ijustwannareadstuff20 @enhanextdoor @zaycie @dylanobr1ens @miraeluv @ancnymcnzjy @lvvrikss @treasureteez @sunghoon-cam

©myjjongie 2025

[dooberific]

❝ 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘓𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘢 𝘎𝘶𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘛𝘦𝘯 𝘋𝘢𝘺𝘴 (𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘞𝘪𝘯 𝘏𝘪𝘮 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘖𝘯𝘦) ❞

harumasa x afab!pubsec!reader

genre: slice of life, hurt w comfort, vengeful woman meets silly man, reader is intentionally insane so get ready to cringe and die on the inside right alongside her, suggestive

summary: your heart has been broken a few too many times, and he’s broken a few too many hearts. the perfect flip side to each other’s coins, surely nothing bad could happen if you both accept silly bets.

wc: 11.2 k

I rocked my own shit w this trust me, but I was inspired by cinema. READ THE TAGS, I wrote this and made myself violently cringe a few times but you gotta see it through. Trust the process bbgs

There is a flip side to every coin, another half to every story, a perfect balance in nature between opposing forces.

On one side was him, and on the other, you. 

The bar was busy, brimming with a number of people. Business men with loosened ties enjoying a round after a long day, young women out for an evening on the town to celebrate, officers you recognized personally taking a load off their minds after a busy shift. The energy was relaxed, but maybe it was just the martini you nursed as you leaned against the bar talking.

“Trust me, there is not a single woman in this bar who would think any less of you.” Zhu Yuan slurred, stirring her own drink, a flush of red already creeping up the sides of her neck.

She was referring to the woes in which you confided with her. As your closest friend through the police academy, she had been unshakeable even as your rank advanced past her own. You had worried that things would change after your last promotion, that when you took the seat of Janus Quarter Commander of PubSec with the revelation of Bringer’s corruption that your relationship would become strained but that fear had long abated. She was just the same as ever, another loveless soul keeping you company, another person rather hopeless when it came to relationships.

She plucked the toothpick from her glass, the wooden stick garnished with olives as she pointed it at you. “What you need, is to start taking back.” 

She drew an olive off the stick with her teeth, chewing it thoughtfully. “‘s not fair, you are wayyy too good of a girl to be toyed with like this.” 

Your head hung. She was right, it really didn’t seem fair. You were successful, had a good job, and you liked to think your personality and looks weren’t half bad. But there was just something in the equation that was missing, some integral piece that left you chronically unable to keep a man for more than a week. It was nothing short of a mystery, one that slowly chipped away at your self esteem despite your best efforts.

“What do you suggest I do?” You mused, head raising as you took a sip of your drink.

Zhu Yuan shrugged, head swiveling as she surveyed the crowded bar, plucking another olive from the toothpick in her glass. She gasped as if struck with some brilliant plan, head whipping back in your direction. 

“You need to go find a guy.”

Your face instantly went stony. “I’m not following.”

“No, no, you need to go find a guy. Play with him a bit, make yourself a real dream girl in his eyes, then give him a taste of his own medicine. Drop his ass before he can even wrap his head around what happened, and leave him running for the hills.”

“That’s diabolical,” you countered, turning to lean your back against the bar so you could survey the room, glass raised back to your painted lips. 

“I love it.”

At the same bar, at the same time, sat the other side of your coin, a can of some bitter melon soda leaving a ring of condensation on the table by his elbow. He didn’t drink much, ya know “alcohol is bad when you take a lot of medication”, but he didn’t mind the social aspect of a bar scene when things seemed promising. 

There were a couple other HSO officers milling around aside from the ones he accompanied, Miyabi and Yanagi both perched at the table with him. He was hoping to get some leg up on things at the office with this little excursion, a little leverage to use on Yanagi next time she smugly refuses his time off request, but the conversation had rapidly devolved in a way that he could have done without.

“You need to be more thoughtful, Asaba.” Yanagi chided, the lens on her glasses flashing momentarily under the bar lighting as she adjusted her glasses. 

“I understand that you have personal issues you don’t like to discuss, but this serial dating thing you’re doing is starting to impact more than just yourself.”

He groaned dramatically. “C’mon Tsukishiro, I didn’t think she would show up at the office like that. I told you she was,” his finger raised circling his temple to emphasize his point, “crazy.”

Yanagi’s brow furrowed, glare deepening as she crossed her arms.

“And what about the one who staged a stake out in the parking lot in front of my car?” 

He shrugged. “She was insecure.” 

“And what, the poor girl before that was just some clinical sociopath?”

“Maybe?”

“She was the mailroom girl! She was totally normal! Asaba you can’t just blame everything on them. At some point you need to take responsibility for your part in it too. That’s why,” she pulled a folded stack of papers from her bag, tossing them on the table. 

“I won’t be accepting any of your leave requests until you can prove to me you can keep a relationship longer than a week.” 

Yanagi may as well have dropped a brick on his head from some great height from the way he reacted.

“Tsukishiro!”

“No, Asaba, I’m not backing off on this. You have to prove yourself, but I am willing to make a deal with you. If you can date a girl of my choice for ten days and she be willing to say you were nothing but an absolute peach, then I will approve you for a solid week of leave. No questions asked.”

He perked up. “No questions asked, huh? Deal.”

Yanagi grinned evilly as she turned in her seat, scanning the crowd within the bar with a thoughtful hum. There were plenty of options, both good and bad but of all those present she was drawn rather conclusively to the figure leaned against the bar, a tasteful yet flirtatiously cut dress hugging her figure perfectly as she sipped her drink. 

The Public Security Commander for the Janus Quarter? 

Yes, you would do well to make his life miserable, she thought as she pointed a manicured nail in your direction.

“I want you to go talk to her.”

His golden eyes sparkled with mischief as he rose from his seat, popping another button on his shirt as he loosened his tie.

“Bet.”

Day One - Make Him Crave You

You had somewhat unsuccessfully prowled the bar for your victim. Too many duds and married men, and you considered yourself above being a homewrecker. No need to kill someone else’s happiness, it wasn’t the respectable married folk who saw it fit to drag your heart through the mud. 

You were all too ready to give up and call it a night as you leaned against the wall. Going home and slipping off your heels and enjoying a greasy pizza on your couch was sounding much better than revenge at the moment, but it seemed fate had a different plan.

He was tall enough that he still maintained a few inches of height on you even in your heels, a fair complexion complemented with a mess of curled black hair. His face seemed familiar, though you hadn’t fully placed it in the time it took you to meet his eye and him to arrive at your side. 

You grinned over the rim of your glass. “Hi.”

He echoed your sentiment, a smile on his face as he stopped just within your personal bubble. Interested already? A good sign. Him being handsome was an added bonus, smoldering honeyed eyes warming you from the inside out. Hm, maybe too handsome.

“(y/n) (l/n).”

“Asaba Harumasa.”

Oh shit. He was an HSO executive officer, no wonder you found his face familiar, but if he knew you his face didn’t give it away.

“Cute.” You murmured, taking care to bat your lashes. 

“Thank you.”

“I meant your name.”

His brow raised, a small chuckle rumbling from his chest. “Thank you twice then.”

“Single?”

“Currently.”

“Surprising.” 

He hummed, giving you a once over. He was bold, you would give him that. “Same. Psycho?”

“Rarely.”

“Interested?”

“Maybe.”

You could practically see the thrill of the chase burning him alive, his lopsided grin relaxed even as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“You hungry?”

“Starved.”

“Leaving?”

“With you? Only if you ask nicely.”

“Please?”

You held up a finger. “You’ve charmed me, one moment.”

You slipped past him and back to the bar, sidling up to Zhu Yuan as you passed her your glass. “Got one. Black hair, choker.” You giggled, as her head whipped over her shoulder to where you just came.

“Shit, (y/n), an HSO officer?” She threw back the rest of her drink before snatching up yours. “Good luck, girl, call me when you make it home?”

“Of course,” you bumped her with your hip as you grinned, “See you tomorrow~.”

You would admit that you had low expectations for dinner, after all, he was just some loser you met in a bar, so a sit down meal was a real treat. The conversation flowed easily, discussing work, life, things you had in common, and before you knew it you were pressed against the door of his apartment with his tongue in your mouth and his hands on your ass. 

He fumbled to get the lock undone, attention divided between the sloppy work of your lips hot against his mouth and a tiny keyhole that seemed much too difficult to overcome. The door gave way and you squeaked with surprise, as you stumbled backwards, hands stilled knotted in his hair as your back thumped against the door once more.

He laughed against your lips, the smear of your lipstick painted across his own. “Too fast?”

You nodded, your thumb brushing against his swollen lower lip. “Too fast.”

“Right…too fast,” he wasn’t listening and you supposed you weren’t either because you didn’t argue when he kissed you again, your fingers knotting into the back of his shirt. He rocked his hips against yours and you moaned against his lips, his tongue snaking into your mouth. He tasted like the gum you gave him after dinner. 

Your hands slid down to rest against his chest. Despite his lithe stature you could feel the muscles beneath his thin work shirt as you pushed him away. 

“I’ll see you around, Harumasa.” You said as you slipped past him and back into the hallway, peeking coyly over your shoulder at him. “Do yourself a favor and call me sometime.” 

You grinned as you exited back onto the street, the air crisp in your lungs like the world was congratulating you on your skill. Now it would be a waiting game, waiting on your phone to ring once he realizes you left your purse sitting on the floor of his apartment. 

You hoped he was a praying man, because he would need all the help he could get.

Day Two - Be the Cool Girl 

Your fingers flew across the keyboard as you worked on a new project submitted to your office. So far things had been quiet, but you expected that to not last much longer with how your cellphone sat perched beside you on the desk.

It rang once, twice, and you answered on the third, leaning back in your seat with a grin.

“Pray tell what I’ve done to be graced with a call from you today?” You hummed, a lock of your hair curling around your finger as he laughed on the other end of the line.

“You left your purse at my place.”

“Ohh, yeah I can’t believe I left it there.”

“I just figured you might want it back with all the cash, credit cards and those… reverb arena tickets for the New Eridu Underground Target Archery Club Finals for tonight.”

“Sounds like somebody’s been going through my bag.”

His head rolled lazily to the side where he sat at home on his couch, your bag on the coffee table. “No, you see my cat is super curious and knocked it off the counter where I put it last night and dumped it out.”

The cat, once resting quietly at his side now looked up at him as if it understood his words. He scratched its chin as it purred. 

“If you insist, but you’ll be disappointed because I’m going with someone else.”

“Not anymore you’re not. I don’t think you left your purse here on accident, if you ask me I think you subconsciously wanted to take me out again tonight.” 

Zhu Yuan would be disappointed but you were sure she would understand, it was for the greater good in the grand scheme of things after all. 

You hummed. “Alright then, mister psychic, I will see you at the street entrance at seven o’clock?”

“You got it~.”

The entrance to the Reverb Arena was busier than usual when you arrived, waving to Harumasa who already stood waiting for you, your purse in his hand. 

“Fancy meeting you here.” You called with grin, receiving your purse back as he extended it to you, his eyes trained momentarily on your shirt.

“Didn’t take you as a fan of the New Eridu Archery club.” He said as he nodded towards the graphic emblazoned across the front of your shirt. 

“I’m just fond of the Janus Quarter team.” You countered. 

“No kidding,” He fished a card from his wallet as he passed it to you. The faded blue plastic was stamped with the archery club’s insignia, the back etched with his name and member number. Looks like you would be dodging any price inflation tonight, members of the club received certain perks after all. 

 “Consider the rest of your evening on me then.” 

The arena was crowded as you had expected for the first night of the finals, but your seats were perfect despite the swell of other bodies pressing you close to his side. Part of you had thought it would be a less sought after event, but the crowd rapidly energized as the event continued to the final rounds of the night. 

You eyes trailed from the ring to your date, his eyes laser focused on the match. You almost felt a little guilty when you shook his arm.

“Haru, Haru? I’m really thirsty, could you go get me a drink?” 

He blinked down at you like he had been in a haze, eyes momentarily darting back to the ring. “Right now?”

You nodded, and he bit the inside of his cheek.

“A diet cola with no ice, please.”

You mustered up your cutest expression as he begrudgingly nodded and got up, pushing his way past the other patrons before making a mad dash to the concession counter. Your grin had turned malicious within moments as you returned to watching the match.

He was back within a minute or two, handing you your drink as you thanked him and recounted some of the tense final moments as you sipped your drink once, twice.

It was the true final match of the night now, and you had your diet cola in your hand. You elbowed his side.

“Haru, this isn’t diet.”

His head snapped in your direction. “What?”

“This isn’t diet, Haru please I’m so thirsty!”

He did his best to hide it but you could see the frustration crease his brow as he took your cup and disappeared again.

The match was over by the time he made it back, your drink in his hands as you thanked him profusely, snuggling up at his side as you walked out.

The crowd filtered out across the street as you emerged from the underground, tossing your cup with a practiced hand into the wastebasket. 

“Are you busy tomorrow, we could watch a movie or something?” He offered in an attempt to salvage the mood.

You squeezed his arm a little tighter, turning your head to peer up at him. “Sounds like a date, I’ll see you then.”

Day Three - Be Clingy

When you met up in front of Gravity Cinema in Lumina Square he had some notion of what you would be watching. Plenty of new movies had hit the box office recently, enough variety that he was sure you could find something agreeable and not painful to sit through. 

You looked happy as you stood beside him in the line, eyes dancing across the titles by the ticket booth. There were plenty of good options, things you wanted to see on your own that you were sure he would find entertaining like a new comedy that brought tears to your eyes just seeing the trailer on tv. 

“What do you wanna see?” He asked, bumping your shoulder fondly. 

“Hmm,” you tapped a thoughtful finger to your chin. “I want to see…that one.”

A rerun of Coffee Mate wasn’t what he was expecting, but you looked quite pleased with the situation as you enjoyed your popcorn beside him. The theater was full of couples or groups of friends enjoying the nostalgia of the rom-com, all engrossed in the film. He wouldn’t lie, his own interest was also growing.

You looked over at him, the warm tones of the movie screen casting a sepia glow over his cheeks. You might be a little disappointed by the end of your little escapade, he was one of the more handsome men you had dated. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“Hmm?” He looked over at you.

“What are you thinking about?”

“The movie?” His confusion was evident in his tone as his eyes darted from the screen back to your face. 

“So you’re just completely thoughtless?”

A man in the row behind you shushed you loudly, shooting you both a glare yet you didn’t relent. 

Harumasa looked rather taken aback. “No, sorry baby, I was just thinking about…how pretty you are, now hush and let’s just watch the movie. You said you loved this one, right?”

You sat your popcorn down, brows furrowing as you turned in your seat to face him. 

“Who is she?”

“Who’s who?”

“First you’re thoughtless, now you’re an owl? I said who is she? You’re obviously not thinking about me right now.” 

The man behind you kicked your seat as he hushed you again, and you turned to face him, a wrathful look on your face.

“Listen buddy, if you interrupt me one more time my boyfriend is going to beat your ass.” 

He looked from you to Harumasa, the latter’s face decorated with a nervous smile as he quickly assessed that it was in fact a fight he didn’t want to have any part in.

“Let’s go then.”

You grabbed at Harumasa’s arm as you followed him out of the theater. “Haru, baby don’t fight him.” You pleaded. 

“I don’t have any intention of fighting him, this is all just a big misunderstanding.”

But misunderstandings usually didn’t end with a kiss from another person’s knuckles being planted firmly against your nose. He stumbled back, hand cupping his nose as blood began to pour from between his fingers and down his chin.

The man pointed harshly at the both of you as you rushed to Harumasa’s side. 

“Nobody gets between me and Coffee Mate!”

 

He was strangely impassioned as he stormed back into the theater, leaving you alone as your hands cupped Harumasa’s face.

“Let me see,” you cooed sweetly as you pried his fingers away from his nose. His eyes were watering from the sting of the hit, blood smearing down his face and dripping onto his shirt in crimson blossoms. 

You fished through your bag for a moment before you produced a few tissues, cursing internally that your pack was almost empty and that your luck was rotten enough to have seated you in front of someone willing to take a swing in passion over a romcom rerun movie. 

It was bleeding more from one side than it was the other, a rivulet of thick blood streaming almost instantaneously after you wipe his upper lip clean. You apologized about a hundred times as you pulled a tampon from your purse, unwrapping it before shoving the cotton up his nose as he grimaced. 

“What the hell is this?” He questioned, the taste of iron washing down the back of his throat as his fingers grasped the little woven tail on the tampon to bring it to eye level.

“Don’t worry about it,” you grabbed his hands, ignoring the blood that smeared onto your own. 

“You were so brave standing up to that guy!” 

He blinked at you stupidly.

Day Four - Become his Manic Pixie Dream

His apartment was rather nice when the lights were on, surprisingly clean if the precise organization of his shoe rack by the door would be any indicator of the rest of his space.

He was busy in the kitchen, talking to you mindlessly as he worked. All the better for your cause, giddily kicking off your low heels as you perused the apartment. It felt like a man’s apartment, a little dark and sparse as far as decor went, and it smelled distinctly like herbs and anesthetic more akin to what you would expect of a pharmacy or apothecary than a home. 

His cat chirped pleasantly from where it lay stretched across the couch, rising to arch its spine into your touch as you stroked its black fur.

“Don’t tell your dad that I’m redecorating,” you whispered as you sat down the box propped against your hip and produced a pair of stuffed animal cats stitched to be embracing.

The white fur on the toys reminded you a bit of Officer MewMew, but you found them endearing nonetheless, patting them on the head and you continued on your trek of evil. More cheesy stuffed animals, a flowery pink quilt across his bed, an array of girly magazines on the back of his toilet to match the pink toilet seat cover you placed.

By the time you returned from your side quest he was waiting for you by the table, eyeing the new creatures that sat on his couch curiously. 

“Looks like you’ve been…redecorating.” 

You smiled at him sweetly, “I just thought you could use a woman’s touch in here, isn’t it cute?” You reached into the box you still carried, dropping it to the side as you produced one last trick form your theoretical hat. A little fern in a pink pot bounced merrily in your hand. 

“It’s a baby fern to mark the budding growth of our relationship! Just like us it will need lots of tender love and care to thrive.”

You placed it dead center on the table.

“And now you will have something to remind you of us all the time.”

Ugh, it made you want to hurl how silly and empty headed you had to act, but it was all for the glory of the hunt you reminded yourself. You had put up with some real bullshit in the past and still been hung out to dry, this was just a little payback inflicted upon a member of mankind.

He smiled and graciously accepted, but you could see the concern swimming in the hues of honey in his eyes as he pulled your chair out for you to sit. 

“Yup, I’m a lucky guy for sure.”

He was ready to let it pass, the archery finals were about to start any minute and dinner was ready. Sure your change in attitude was a little…unique, but maybe you were just having an off night.

You sniffled and he paused, practically covering over his seat as he looked up at you. You sniffled again, fanning at your eyes.

“What’s wrong, (y/n)?”

“Nothing, nothing, it’s perfect just—,”

“Just..?”

You blew your nose dramatically into your napkin as you turned your head away, voice warbling with tears. “I don’t eat meat.”

It was like being hit by a truck, his eyes bouncing between the precisely crafted chicken dish on your plate to your quivering shoulders and reddened eyes. 

“A full week off, no questions asked. A full week off, no questions asked.” It was a mantra running through his head on repeat as he sat beside you in a tiny booth at the nearest vegan restaurant to his apartment.

He didn’t mind it he guessed, though as he picked through the tofu bowl sitting in front of him he couldn’t help but be a little disappointed at the thought of the chicken now chilling in his fridge.

You seemed appeased though, your knee brushing against his under the table as you picked your own meal quietly. The waitress stopped by the table, topping off your glass of water.

“Something wrong with your meal, hon?” She asked, eyeing you curiously.

“No, no.” You answered quietly before he watched your face contort, your pitch rising into a sobbing tone as you threw your fork down.

“My boyfriend thinks I’m fat! And I can’t eat in front of him.”

“What!?” He said incredulously as you shot up from your seat, hands covering your face as you rushed into the bathroom at the back of the restaurant.

You locked yourself in a stall, wiping away your fake tears as you pulled up the stream of the archery finals for the night. Ah, what a disappointing loss for your favored archer, but you were sure that he was still having a better time than what your date was having as he sat in the dining room now, certainly insisting that he has never called you fat a day in your life.

The walk back from the restaurant was quiet. He seemed tired even as you followed him back into his apartment and flopped down onto his couch. The archery finals for the night blazed to life across his TV screen.

“I’m sorry we missed the finals tonight.” You apologized with your sweetest tone.

He sighed. “It’s okay, baby, let’s just see what happens.”

You scooted closer to him on the couch, a hand coming down to squeeze his thigh. He looked at you with a surprised expression, eyes widening behind dark lashes as you flipped yourself onto his lap. You loosened his tie as you popped the buttons on his shirt open down to his belt, nails trailing down the expanse of his stomach as he shuddered. 

You kissed him, and he keened into your lips, hand coming to knot into your hair as you tugged his bottom lip between your teeth. You wiggled your hips against his lap, savoring the way his hand flexed against the meat of your thigh.

“What’s wrong, is somebody a wittle pent up?”

The baby talk took him by surprise, not really something he found to be attractive but if you were gonna shove your tongue into his mouth the way you just did and pull his hair well—some things could be overlooked in favor of others.

You broke from his lips, kissing down the side of his neck and to his clavicle, teeth nipping at his pale and tender skin. You were a vixen in your own right as you slid from his lap to your knees, a trail of kisses pressed from his sternum to his belt where your fingers deftly pulled the buckle loose. 

“Poor wittle Haru~,” you cooed as you rested your cheek against his thigh and stared up at him from under your lashes, toying with his zipper. His body tensed as you palmed him through his pants, his hand curling into your hair as his breathing became labored. 

“Does our little pwincess wanna come out and play~?”

You blinked in surprise at how quickly you were on your feet, his hands bracing your arms. His cheeks were dusted a hearty pink, the flush carried to his ears and the heady way his eyes dilated. He swallowed thickly.

“Please don’t do that.”

You cocked your head to the side dumbly. “Do what?”

You could practically see the internal war raging in his mind as he let out a shaky breath. There was no reasonable way he could explain it and not sound fucking insane.

“Please do not name my, uh,” he cleared his throat as he broke eye contact, “unmentionables.”

On the inside you were dying with laughter, struggling to keep your face straight as he fumbled around. So you pouted instead.

“Are you mad at me?”

His head hung in defeat. “No, I’m not mad at you.”

He was scrambling for an out, lost somewhere between hot and bothered and terribly disturbed by the tragic way events unfolded.

 “Ohh would you look at the time,” he said glancing momentarily at the watch that wasn’t on his wrist before quickly snapping his hand back to his side. “You should really head home for the night, can’t have you wandering the streets too late. Someone might try to snatch you up or something.”

Was it bad that he momentarily thought it might not be all bad if you got kidnapped? They would definitely return you within an hour, just long enough for the casual and flirty you to vanish like a werewolf morphing under the moonlight into whatever you were now. 

“I guess so…” your tone was mournful as he ushered you to the door and made sure you had all of your belongings. 

You stood in the hallway outside his door, he still looked like a flushed mess as he leaned against the doorframe. 

“Goodnight then, Haru.”

“Goodnight, (y/n). Get home safely.”

Day Five - Make Him Your “Cool Boy”

He desperately wanted to call it quits, throw in the towel and run away from you as fast as his legs could carry him. Did you have a split personality or did you just fall and hit your head and not receive medical attention sometime after you two first met? It was a toss up in his mind, but every day that he walked back into the office and saw the smirking expression of Tsukishiro as she asked, “How’s your girlfriend?” his pride would rear its ugly head and will him to continue. 

It hadn’t even been a full week, he could handle a few more days. Then he made the mistake of answering his phone. 

“Goodmorning Haru-waru~.”

Jesus Christ, maybe he was wrong. He was pretty sure his eyes rolled into the back of his skull as he pinched the bridge of his nose that was still bandaged from the movie date. You on the other hand had to mute your end of the call for the roar of laughter that came from Zhu Yuan who sat in your office listening in to your psychological torture fest. 

He met Tsukishiro’s eye from across the room, a forced smile coming to his face as he waved and stood up to take his call in the hallway. 

“Goodmorning, baby.” It sounded forced and he had to bite his tongue to make his tone sound more pleasant. “What’s up?”

“Oh you know, I was just thinking about you and how I got these tickets from a friend.” You baited, the tickets pinched between your fingers tapping against the smooth top of your desk. “The seats aren’t as good as the ones from the other night, but I thought you might wanna join me?”

He was torn, but relented, praying he wasn’t making a horrible mistake. 

“What time?”

You were beaming as you waved at him. You were like a toxic fume disguised a breath of fresh air, hair and makeup done cutely. For a moment he willed himself to think the original you was back from the coy way you spoke, how you curled a lock of your hair around your finger as you walked arm-in-arm.

His reminder of your wicked nature came five minutes into the Astra Yao concert he now stood in the middle of, the base from the speakers rattling his bones as the crowd roared alongside the music.

You looked thrilled, bouncing beside him as you sang along to every song. It really was a treat for you to get to see her after all, and you wouldn’t disclose how much you spent to secure your tickets but it didn’t matter. 

You were radiant under the purple and white stadium lights, your lip gloss shining as it caught the light. Your eyes were closed behind the ridiculous purple heart-shaped sunglasses some other girl in the crowd had handed you, an invisible microphone in your hand as you lived like no one was watching for just a moment. Maybe you seemed crazy, but did that really matter? He wouldn’t be hanging around much longer anyways. You could see the threads of his sanity snapping away with each passing day.

But today he was quiet as he watched you with a reverence your eyes wouldn’t see, the concert nothing shy of background noise compared to the beating of his heart in his ears and the slightly off-key sound of your voice as you sang and grew more hoarse by the minute. It was like wearing a pair of rose colored glasses, your previous infractions melting out of his mind as a glimpse of the real you shined through.

His ears were ringing as he followed you out of the venue at the end of the concert, a ridiculously glittery Astra Yao t-shirt now layered over his original shirt to match the one you donned. Your palm was warm clasped in his own as you pulled him through the crowd. 

He forgot all about the archery finals till the patrons filtered out of the Reverb Arena onto the shared street, excitedly chattering about the winning shot.

Your head whipped over your shoulder as you smiled at him, sunglasses now perched on your head. “Wasn’t that fun?”

He didn’t have a chance to answer before you cut him off.

“Let’s make sure to play some of her songs at our wedding!”

And just like that those rose colored glasses shattered with frightening speed.

Day Six - Sabotage His Reputation at Work

His mind was a muddled mess as he sat listlessly at his desk the next day. Your unpredictability had not only shaken him to the core but disturbed him so deeply he was now in a constant state of unsteadiness, torn between wanting to chase that sliver of you that made his heart race and wanting to run from the other part that made him want to tear out his hair in frustration. 

He pondered texting you, calling you even, but he didn’t know why. He sighed loudly, throwing his phone onto his desk as his head flopped over the back of his chair.

“Everything alright, Asaba?”

He glanced up at Yanagi, a cup of coffee waving temptingly in her hand as she placed it on his desk. “You look tired.”

“You have no idea.” He thanked her for the coffee, pulling the lid off as he took a sip. It was hot and bitter against his tongue, a soothing taste sure to inspire a short burst of vitality to his morning.

He didn’t bother to glance up as the door to the Section 6 suite hissed open.

“Goodmorning, Haru~.”

He sputtered and choked as he sucked coffee down his windpipe, quickly putting the cup down as he practically jumped from his seat. 

“(y/n)!” He chimed back in a poor attempt to match your excitement as he hissed through his teeth. “What are you doing here?”

It was a shame you looked as cute as you did today, a perfect black plaid patterned skirt suit hugging your body just right as you practically bounced to his desk, pushing a stack of papers to the side as you perched on his desk with a smile.

“I just wanted to see you, silly!” 

Oh. How lucky. 

Everyone in the office was fully tuned into your conversation now, some (ahem, Soukaku and Miyabi) more obviously than others. 

“I brought you a present by the way.” You reached into the large tote bag that you had brought along with you, producing a black plaid shirt that matched your own outfit. 

“Here! Put it on!”

There was no getting out of it, you had practically dragged him closer as you tossed the shirt over his shoulders and forcefully helped him drag his arms through the sleeves as you buttoned it all the way up to his neck.

“My, Asaba, you’re certainly a vision in plaid.”

He glared at Tsukishiro over your shoulder, his eyes rolling fiercely at her jab before you drew his attention back to yourself. 

“We are gonna make such a cute family of four.” You squealed.

“Family of four?”

You nodded as you reached into your bag once more, drawing out the long orange body of a medium haired cat in a little black plaid vest. A golden tag dangled off its collar, its name carved into the metal in a curling script.

Princess.

He felt his stomach drop. 

“I got one for the other cat too so we can all match for family photos!”

“Family photos!” Soukaku squealed from her desk. 

He gripped your shoulders with a forced smile. “Can we talk outside? It would be bad if we interrupted office workflow after all.” 

“Oh, no need, I’ve gotta run back to work. Duty calls!” You giggled as you placed Princess in his arms, reaching up to press a kiss to his cheek, your lipstick staining his cheek a pretty shade of rose. 

“Watch our baby girl for me! Toodles!”

You pranced out of the office with a giggle, the door sliding shut behind you before it quickly reopened.

“Hold on, (y/n)!” 

You paused in your step, glancing at his disheveled state with the warmest smile you could muster. 

“Yes, Haru?”

“I won’t be able to hang out tomorrow afternoon,” he said, Princess struggling in his arms for a moment as he readjusted his grip on her. “Some of my old friends from PubSec wanted to get together and have a game night, you don’t mind do you?”

“Of course not!” You said with a smile. “You boys have fun.”

He looked relieved as you turned away to leave, flipping your hair over your shoulder. The stupid smile on your face faded so quickly you felt like a true psychopath for a fleeting moment. 

Day Seven - Become the Psycho Girlfriend of his Nightmares

“I don’t know what this guy’s problem is,” you bemoaned, popping another cheeseball into your mouth. 

The roof of your apartment building was a pleasant place to be on a day off, lounging on the deck chairs as the sun warmed your skin.

Zhu Yuan laid beside you in her own chair, her eyes closed behind her sunglasses as she shrugged. “Maybe he’s a little mental?”

“There is no history of mental health conditions in his medical file.” Chimed Qingyi from your other side where she sat crossed legged. 

You frowned. “No need to violate HIPAA for the sake of this conversation, Qingyi.” 

She shrugged.

“But seriously, I’m not making things even remotely easy and he still hasn’t called it quits. I’ve been clingy, ruined the archery finals multiple times, accused him of calling me fat in public, been overly emotional. Damn, he even got his nose busted over a date with me.” You huffed irritably, crunching another cheeseball between your teeth.

“I just don’t get it, what else am I supposed to do?”

“When do you see him again?” Zhu Yuan asked, her head rolling in your direction as she held out a hand. You shook a few cheeseballs into her waiting palm.

“Tomorrow.”

“Not tonight?”

You shook your head. “No, he’s got a boy’s night planned.”

Zhu Yuan practically launched herself upward, flipping her glasses onto her head. “Boy’s night, surely you don’t intend to let him off that easy.”

You pursed your lips before a wicked smile morphed onto your face. “You’re right, what would he be without me?”

There were eighteen missed calls on his answering machine when he returned home, four playing through as he fed the cats that rubbed incessantly against his legs begging for his attention. It was fortunate that Princess had an agreeable nature, it would have been a shame to rehome her if she had clashed with his own cat.

“Haru, are you home?”

“I miss you~”

“Pick up the phone, Haru!”

“I just wanna know how your day was my handsome boy~”

He paused the message playback as a knock sounded at his door. Seemed like the first of his guests had arrived, a perfect excuse to forget your incessant tone.

Everything seemed to be going quite well, conversation flowing easily over the passing of cards and bets placed in poor, alcohol-addled states of mind. He refrained once more, sipping on another bitter seltzer as he fanned out his cards. A good hand, he was feeling lucky.

Or he did before his front door swung open. 

“Hi boys!” You chirped. 

He folded his hand immediately, an expression of fear flashing through his eyes as he gritted his teeth. You waltzed right in, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 

“Heyy, (y/n). I thought we weren’t seeing each other tonight—,”

“Oh, we weren’t, but then I was just thinking you might need some snacks for game night!”

You practically stared daggers into the befuddled faces of some of your very own N.E.P.S officers that sat around the table. They will definitely think you are a nutcase after tonight, but internal PR was a small price to pay.

You pranced to the kitchen, your tone cheery as you babytalked to the cats that prowled after you. You could hear the muted conversation from the kitchen where you fished through his cabinets for a plate and serving utensils.

“She’s something alright.” 

“If something means psycho then…”

“Easy now, she’s not that bad.” You were surprised to hear him defending you, albeit poorly.

“C’mon man, don’t kid yourself.”

You came out of the kitchen just in time to see Harumasa’s shoulders sag as he nodded, hands rising to rub his face.

“She might be a little…”

“A little what?” You hissed from where you stood, plate of cookies in your hand. You looked like a disgruntled housewife, the kind that poisons her husband and buries him beneath the roses in the backyard.

“Asaba Harumasa,” your tone sent shivers down his spine, venom dripping from your tongue as you stared him down, slowly approaching the table like a predatory cat. 

“It’s okay sweetie, you can tell me. Go ahead, say you think I’m some kind of psycho bitch!” Your pitch rose to a yell as you flipped the plate in your hand for good measure, cookies scattering everywhere as each man at the table recoiled. 

The waterworks came next as the plate clattered to the floor, your hands rising to hide your face as you willed tears to your eyes. 

“I have tried so hard to be a good, attentive girlfriend but you just think I’m crazy.” You sobbed, catching a glimpse of the silly fern in the pink pot you had left in his care days ago. Its leaves were wilted.

“Did you ever want this relationship to work?” You accused, angrily wiping your ‘tears’ as you pointed at the plant. “You even let our love fern die, how can I trust you to take this relationship seriously?”

He was stirred into a panic now, rising from his seat. “It was an accident, I got busy with work and forgot to water it is all.”

“I told you a relationship takes tender love and care. Care does not mean forgetting to water it!” 

You wiped your tears and stifled your sniffles, raising your head proudly. “Consider us, over.”

You stormed out the door and down the hall, and as soon as the elevator shut behind you you laughed like a maniac. Oh the sweet taste of release. You deserved an award for your performance.

Meanwhile he stood in the carnage of your departure, mentally counting the days in his head. Seven. He was still several days shy of his bet with Tsukishiro.

“Lucky, she saw herself out, wait—you’re not thinking of stopping her, right?”

“I just need three more days,” he whipped around as he grabbed his friend by the shoulders, “what do girls like to hear at times like this?”

You felt liberated as you stepped onto the street. Finally you had shaken yourself free of the burden you had placed upon yourself. There was almost a skip in your step as you turned to walk home.

“(Y/n), wait!”

Your stomach plummeted. You didn’t even want to turn around, didn’t intend to until his hand circled your wrist with a gentle grasp.

“I am so sorry, I would do anything to make it up to you.” 

You rolled your eyes as you shook your head, wrenching your wrist free. “It’s too late for that, Asaba.”

Ouch, back to last name basis. This was worse than he thought.

“Why don’t we go to couple’s therapy?” 

The very words felt bitter on his tongue, quietly instilling both of you with profound dread.

You turned over your shoulder, voice teary. “You would do that for me?”

He nodded.

Shit. Guess both of you were still stuck. 

Day Eight - Couples Therapy

His stomach felt sick all night and he couldn’t sleep, a shared sentiment occurring in your own bed several streets away as you tossed and turned. 

He’s unshakeable, and you needed to find an out. 

That’s why you stood in front of a sterile door in your well pressed skirt suit, Harumasa anxiously stirring at your side. “Thank you for suggesting this,” you murmured as you knocked on the door. “It makes me feel like you actually care.”

The door opened as you bit your tongue to suppress the grin that threatened to crease your cheeks. 

Qingyi stood in the doorway, a pair of comically large glasses perched on her nose and her hair pulled tightly back. She looked more like some sort of cult member than a therapist with the unique oversized smock she wore. 

Harumasa’s brow furrowed. “Are you the doctor..?”

Qingyi nodded, “Yes, now come in, we have a lot to discuss.”

The conversation devolved rapidly once you actually sat down. You poured out a dramatized version of the truth, tears streaming down your cheeks as your mascara smeared. He was lost somewhere between fighting for his life defending his actions and trying to comfort you. 

Qingyi was playing her role beautifully, hell she even opened the door for you to accuse him of trying to flirt with her before she turned up the heat and began to put pressure on him.

“He’s just so distant, he won’t even tell me about the things he likes!” You cried, blowing your nose dramatically into another one of half the tissue box you had already gone through.

“Fine! Fine, I’ll take you out and show you. Just please stop crying.”

Your tears dried immediately, casting a glance at Qingyi who simply nodded.

“A couples weekend to grow closer, I think it’s an excellent idea.”

You cursed her a little internally as you walked out the door. 

Day Nine - Doing Things He Enjoys..?

The scent of seawater met your nose as you stepped out of the car, the wind off the ocean tugging at your meticulously fixed hair as you watched the boats at the dock bob over the waves.

When he told you he would take you to do things he enjoyed you weren’t anticipating to end up here, but there was a palpable shift in his attitude as he pulled the camera from the backseat and raised it to peer through the viewfinder, the shutter clicking loudly as he took a picture of the sun rising over the distant horizon.

The tiny smile on his lips painted his features with a serene expression, the sun painting his cheeks in a shade of gold that could rival the saturation of his eyes as the sea breeze ruffled his already unruly hair.

You watched him silently. It felt like an intrusion for you to be standing here with him, a feeling that never left even as he turned his warm expression in your direction, beckoning you to follow him as he walked towards the dock.

You half expected him to walk down the actual dock, not for him to pause at the edge of the railing to kick his shoes off before climbing over it in favor of the thin band of sand lining the rocky outcropping that the lighthouse sat upon.

“Don’t wanna get your shoes wet,” he stated simply as he offered you a hand over the rail to follow him. 

The water lapped past the rocks and onto the sand, the gritty substance soft and soggy under your bare feet as you picked along the nondescript beach until it turned into a bank of slippery black rocks.

You paused just shy of the terminus of the rocks, watching him look thoughtfully over the water as he raised his camera again. 

You wondered what went through his mind. Photography was never your strong suit, you lacked a discerning eye for beauty like that captured in a still life. Your eyes danced over the waterline, willing yourself to see some deeper artistic vision like whatever had caught his fancy.

The camera shuttered again, and you turned to look at him only to be met with the shiny black lens of his camera as he brought it down from his eye. 

“I like that one.” He mused, clicking back through the saved photos as he turned the screen to show you the pensive image of yourself, hair wild in the wind, face bathed in gold contrasting the harsh black of the rocky bank you stood on. He turned it back to himself, dropping the camera to hang around his neck. 

“It looks like you.”

For a moment it crossed your mind that he had found you out, exposing some chink in your carefully fabricated armor to protect your heart in the little game you had subjected him to. You swallowed thickly, avoiding his gaze.

“Of course it looks like me.” You muttered as if it was an obvious observation. 

You stayed at the Port till the afternoon sun blazed high overhead, your skin sandy and fingertips greasy from the basket of fries you shared with him as you dangled your feet off the edge of the dock. You had long given up on your looks, the wind from the top of the lighthouse where he took you having ruffled your hair in a way so attractive that you thought it safer to knot it upon your head with a hair tie than let it hang free a moment longer.

When he told you he had another place to take you afterwards it took you by surprise. Had he actually taken that ridiculous therapy session seriously? Ah, you were starting to feel guilty again.

The cityscape gave way to a lush road lined with trees before you pulled over again in a gravel parking lot. It was largely empty, the chirping of crickets meeting your ears as the trees rustled in the gentle wind. A rusted sign stood by the road announcing it as a shooting range. 

“You ever shot a bow?” He called to you. 

“Can’t say I have.” 

You heard the car door shut, eyes catching on the longbow resting in his hand as he walked to your side, looking down at you with a grin that actually met his eyes. 

“Well, do you want to?”

The target stood a reasonable way down the green from where you stood. His weapon of choice felt heavier in your hands than you expected, the grips worn and a variety of scuffs decorating the metallic surface. You had watched plenty of archery matches, but actually doing it was a little more daunting than you imagined, less “pull and shoot” than you were expecting. 

“You okay over there?” He asked from the sidelines. You could feel his eyes burning holes in your back. No pressure.

You nodded as you lifted the bow, arrow already nocked as you drew back the string. You could feel the flexure of your muscles all the way to your shoulders, a quiver rattling through your forearm at the strain. You didn’t know how many pounds it was, but it was enough that your lack of practice with such an instrument showed rather evidently. You were ready to drop your aim before his hands steadied your grip, circling you from either side.

You turned your head slightly, bumping into his chest before you felt your heart race, his arms warm where they brushed your own. 

“You’re almost there.” He hummed in your ear, fingers hooking just above yours on the string. The weight suddenly vanished as he easily drew the string taut, his other hand anchoring it still.

“Now just look down the sight and aim where you please.”

You swallowed thickly, nodding as you followed his instructions, the colorful rings of the target appearing under your gaze as you gently redirected the position of the arrow.

“Just say the word.” He added, watching the concentrated look on your face with a fond look. 

“Now.” You breathed, fingers releasing from the bowstring in tandem with his own as the arrow whistled down the green. 

“That’ll be a two.” He observed aloud, the orange tail of the practice arrow you shot seated just shy of the black margin line. His free hand subconsciously rested against your arm, thumb brushing your skin.

“Not bad for a beginner?” You asked hopefully as you peered up at him.

“Not bad at all.”

You spent the rest of the day at the range, the sun sinking below the horizon line as you drove back into the city. Some part of you was disappointed to see the day end, it had been a breath of fresh air to experience an easy day alongside him. 

You would hate to admit that when he put the car in park as asked you if you wanted to take a walk with him that you were actually excited.

It was against everything you had promised to yourself and Zhu Yuan when you accepted her challenge, but the taste of your strawberry soda was sweeter against your tongue when you sat under the lowlight of the playground by the water, legs dangling off the side of a broken down one-Denny ride with him perched at your side. 

“Thanks for joining me,” he murmured as he pressed his own bottle to his lips. 

“And thank you for letting me tag along today,” came your reply, buttery smooth as you mimicked his actions. “It was…nice.”

You actually meant it, a warm feeling bubbling in your gut as the admission met the wind. 

“It was nice being around you, the real you, for the day.” He picked at the label on his drink as you stared at him owlishly. “Don’t act so surprised, it’s not hard to realize you’ve been masking a lot of things once you open up. You're a little too honest when you aren’t faking it.” 

You opened your mouth to retort but he beat you to it.

“You’re cuter when you aren’t pretending to be someone else.”

Your head hung a bit lower as you downed the last sip of your drink, discarding the bottle by your feet as if it were liquid courage and not a sweet, syrupy concoction. 

“Do you really mean it?” You asked weakly, shivering as you felt his warm fingertips graze your skin as he tucked a stray hair behind your ear. His fingertips trailed down the curve of your ear to your jawline, drawing your chin up to face him.

He was closer than you thought he was, his thumb brushing your lower lip, breath warm as it fanned your cheeks. He didn’t answer you directly as he leaned into your lips, hands warm as they cupped your cheeks tenderly.

You were sure you would melt into a puddle, filtering through his fingers like the pile of rotten mush you were  for how poorly you had treated him in the last few days. Surely you didn’t deserve the tender way he kissed you, the breathy sigh that parted your lips dousing his own in the strawberry-tinted taste of your surrender as you kissed him back with the same gentleness he offered you. 

For him to claim a dislike for sweet things his kiss was anything but bitter in your mind, while his own simply pondered the fact that syrupy sweet had never been more tolerable than when it dripped off your lips and teased his tongue.

You were regretful when you parted, lips still tingling as you caught your breath. 

“I should take you home.” He whispered into the air between you.

The ride to your place was silent, but you didn’t regret what transpired at the park as you chewed your lip thoughtfully. 

You still didn’t have any regrets when you hesitated to get out, inviting him upstairs with a spark of hope burning inside your chest that you wished he would douse once and for all by denying your request. 

You didn’t regret holding his hand as you guided him to your bathroom, when you let him slide your t-shirt over your head as you helped him out of his own, when you kissed him like you meant it as you backed him into the warm spray of your shower, the tickling scent of sweat and seawater intensified before it washed away under the hardwater. 

You wouldn’t regret a single moment of letting him ravish you with an affection you’d never experienced, one laced with longing and appreciation for each inch of your body that passed under calloused fingertips, one that surpassed anything spoken that could be retracted with a breath.

You would only regret any creeping memory of the distressed looks you had cast onto his gentle features in the past, painting over them with a glaze of the love and pleasure stricken expressions that pinched his brow as you indulged in each other at the most carnal of levels. Whispers of adoration pressed to your skin that made your toes curl and made the sickly knot of pleasure in your gut twist all the tighter as you sought a release that only he could provide you as you drowned in the intense wave of his silent affections.  

Day Ten - Break his Heart

Every coin has a flip side, like how every story has an opposing view. Maybe he was simply your mirror in that, or that was what you willed yourself to think as you stared down the hurt that burned in his golden eyes. You were sure you looked none the better if the hot anger that surged in your veins had anything to say about it. 

This wasn’t at all how you imagined it going, but maybe you had just been lying to yourself the whole time just as he had done.

Zhu Yuan’s expression looked stricken, Tsukishiro’s cool if not a little surprised as she shook her head.

“Pardon the interruption.” The pink haired deputy Chief said as she swiftly dismissed herself from the scene, Zhu Yuan shuffling away in a similar apologetic fashion. 

You wished your own feet would carry you far away from here, to turn tail and run like the coward you were when it came to confrontations you couldn’t control. If you ran would it change anything? Would it soothe the ache of guilt and the harsh throb of heartbreak? You knew the answer to that well enough as your fingers tightened around your purse strap, convincing yourself that their accidental revelation was for the better despite the despicable feeling that welled up in your chest. 

“So.”

“So.” He parroted with a similarly bitter tone, lips drawn into a thin line. 

“Was it worth it?” 

He scoffed. “You’re gonna ask me that? Last time I checked intentionally being insane as a dig back at mankind as a whole is a little worse than a stupid deal for some time off.”

Your pride wouldn’t allow you to back down even if his words rang soundly in your ears. “But that was the point wasn’t it? You were no more innocent than every other asshole who strung me along and ditched me like an old toy when something better came along.” You seethed. 

“Coming after me for the sake of a bet with a timeline like that proves it enough for me. So let’s just cut the crap and get this over with.”

Your expression was icy as you met his eyes, steeling yourself. 

“It meant nothing to me, and I never want to see you again.”

Something crumpled in his chest, but he didn’t show it, simply nodding. “Fine. Do us both a favor and lose my number.” 

And nine days of intimate torment died on the gritty sidewalk like a tortured animal, both of you turning away without looking back.

You would save yourself the dignity to do so later in the silence of your own home, to let the guilt of your actions bubble over the waterline of your lashes as your heart broke all over again in the same foolish way you swore not to allow this time as quiet pleas for his forgiveness pressed past your lips.

You wouldn’t know of the numb way he sat on his couch when he finally arrived home, the lithe body of Princess rubbing against his shin as the feline begged for an affection he couldn’t muster.

There was a meticulously crafted wall around his heart, or there had been before you managed to breach it, one placed with the intent to deflect anything meaningful so he wouldn’t have to die with any regrets should his state of being decline rapidly. With it now in tatters his chest felt heavier than ever as he curled into himself, face buried into his hands as he forced himself to breath deeply and will away any thought of the softness of your touch or how treacherously you had warmed his heart in the exact way he had tried to prevent each time he felt a relationship teetering near anything past a casually physical state.

Day Eleven

Work felt like a chore, your eyes dry, tired and puffy as you stared blankly at your computer screen. Anything laborious would have to take a backburner this time, as your brain was still too addled from crying yourself to sleep like a real slob to handle anything too intensive when it came to thought. 

Sure others had noticed, but they didn’t ask questions, opting to give you space instead of intruding upon your foul mood. It left your day rather silent, a breeding ground for getting lost in your own thoughts which was exactly what you didn't want right now.

Your secretary shuffled into the room hesitantly. 

“Commander, you have a visitor.”

“Tell them to come back another day.” You replied flatly, clicking aimlessly on your screen.

“I did but it’s an officer from the HSO. Says it’s urgent.” 

Your stomach flipped unpleasantly. You had a crawling notion of who it might be.

“Let them in.” 

The secretary nodded, disappearing from your sight before your guest entered silently.

“Commander.” 

“What business do you have here, Asaba?” Your tone was icy and sharp, not bothering to look in his direction as you busied yourself with the same menial task that had plagued you for the past hour.

“Not looking at me is a new low, even for you.” 

You frowned, shooting a glare in his direction as you turned to face him fully. He looked messy, but when did he not? Eyebags weren’t even unfamiliar for him, but the spiderwebs of tired veins that snakes across his sclera were even if you were sitting too far to see the bloodshot nature.

“If it isn’t urgent then we have no business to discuss, and you need to leave.”

“It is important,” he interjected as he pulled something from his pocket, a thin photo that he flipped in your direction.

It was the picture of you that he took at Port Elpis.

“I’m calling you on your shit,” he declared firmly as he approached your desk, dropping the picture right in front of you as he planted his palms on the flat surface, staring you down.

“False pretenses or not, the past ten days weren’t meaningless to you.” He pressed, eyes not wavering from where they locked with your own. “I refuse to believe it’s left you unaffected, because I’ve been sick over you every hour since then.”

A shaky breath sucked between his teeth, his eyes darting to your lips that quivered despite your best efforts. 

“I just don’t think it’s possible that you’ve charmed me as one-sidedly as you’re trying to let on.”

You couldn’t escape his gaze if you wanted to, as staring down at your neatly folded hands only brought the hazy gold kissed image of you by the ocean he had taken, a picture taken under the same eye you had admired for its ability to scrutinize and capture beauty in its most raw and unfiltered state. A lens that had snatched your moment of contemplation in a clutch of unabashed appreciation, a diamond picked from the rough of days of undue torture.

So you didn’t run from it anymore, turning your chin up from where it had sunk as you met his gaze head on, a rueful smile gracing your lips.

“Am I that bad of a liar?”

His mouth felt dry, heart racing in his ears as he studied your resigned expression. You looked serene as your gaze cast back down to your fingers, toying with your cuticles. 

“You made me break my one rule for my little experiment. Don’t fall in love.” Your tone was still laced in bitterness, a hand raising to dab at the corner of your eyes at the admission. 

“I assure you, I’ll be slower to forgive myself for hurting you than you would be. You’re a good person, Asaba. You deserve only the best the world has to offer you, and I’m sorry that couldn’t be me.” Your eyes were the clearest he had ever seen as you looked up at him, a warmth still radiating from the depths of your irises as you smiled sadly. 

“Don’t call me that.” His voice was hushed and gentle like the finger that brushed your cheek, a stray tear smearing across your cheek. “I don’t want you to be distant anymore, I think we are past that now.”

Your lips pursed as you drew a shaky breath, the warmth of his hand still lingering on your skin. “Haru, I am so sorry for hurting you.”

His apology came whispered against your skin as he cupped your cheeks in his palms, warm kisses pressed against your forehead, your cheek, the tip of your nose before his forehead came to rest against your own.

“I’ll beg for your forgiveness too,” he murmured against your lips. “Because I don’t think I can let you go that easily.”

A silence fell between you cut only by the soft sounds of your mingled breathing, his skin still warm against your own as you leaned fully into his touch, eyes fluttering shut as you pressed a kiss to the side of his fingers. 

“Then let’s start fresh.” You offered. “Single?”

A toothy smile cracked his lips, his pointed canines as pronounced as ever. 

“Currently.”

“Interested?”

“Definitely.”

“Want to kiss me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Rey 2025

[leiascully]

post all things love confession?

Please enjoy way too many words of my 800th fic to be posted to AO3 based on a weird timeline where "all things" is the first and only time they've slept together (okay it's not that weird but it's weird for me since I believe in the Season of Secret Sex).

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” Scully said abruptly.

Mulder leaned back in his chair. “That could cover a multitude of sins.”

She gave him a brief smile. “I suppose what I mean to say is I’ve been thinking about what I said.”

“I’m all ears.” He laced his hands behind his head. “Talk to me, Scully.”

“The choices we’ve made,” she said, and then fell silent. He waited for a moment, but he’d seen that look before. She was lost in the labyrinth of her thoughts. He understood. It was a strange conversation to have under the fluorescent lights of their basement office. They saved most of their emotional communications for the shadows, as if the words they said at midnight couldn’t survive after the sunshine.

“The ones that brought us here,” he prompted.

She seemed to come back to herself. “Yes. I just wanted you to know that I don’t regret my choices, Mulder.”

He discarded three or four witty remarks. There was something about her face that deterred him, some tension between her eyebrows or at the corner of her mouth. He couldn’t explain how or why he understood her; he knew her by heart.

Now she was the one waiting for his response. “That’s comforting to hear,” he said at last. “We’ve been through the wringer, so to speak.”

“I mean, there are small choices I regret,” she said, a spark of humor in her eye. “Getting tuna salad instead of a French dip yesterday. Not buying stock in IBM. But the big things, the choices that brought me to you, the choices that brought us here… I don’t regret those.”

“I’d choose you every time,” he said carefully.

“I know,” she said. She blew out a breath. “God, it seems so silly.”

“What does?”

She gestured vaguely between them. “I choose you. You choose me. It seems, I don’t know, shallow in some way? To put words to it.”

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.” He shifted in his chair, tipping forward.

She sighed. “Maybe I don’t either.”

He was quiet for a long minute. “It is good to know you don’t regret your choices. I wasn’t sure, the other night. When I, uh, woke up alone.”

“It wasn’t about that, Mulder,” she said, looking away.

“It felt a little regretful,” he pushed.

When she looked back, the blue of her eyes was the ocean and he was drowning. “I wanted so badly to wake up in your arms, Mulder. I was afraid I wanted it more than anything else in my life. It’s all I’ve thought about the last few days. What it was like. What happens next.”

“Oh,” he said. He had the sense that the rest of the world had fallen away. There was only him and Scully, only this room.

“Every time Skinner asks me a question, I’m terrified about what I might say accidentally,” she admitted in a wry voice. “I’m sure he suspects, but I find myself so possessive of our privacy.”

“For all that we’re usually alone, it does seem like we’re lacking in privacy,” he agreed. “Skinner may not be the main offender, but he has been known to hang around the water cooler, if you know what I mean.”

“I’d prefer that Skinner not join us in the bedroom.” She smirked at him a little.

“I wasn’t aware that was an option.” He looked at her, relishing the glint in her eyes. “Scully, I’m glad to hear you don’t wish it hadn’t happened, but I’m not entirely sure what we’re talking about.”

She sighed. “Mulder, I’ve put my life on the line for you and you’ve done the same for me, more times than I can count.”

He nodded slowly. “Our lives. Our jobs. Our reputations. I’d do it again.”

“We’ve been to the ends of the earth together. We’ve seen things that no one else has even dreamed of. We’ve proved our devotion to each other, over and over.”

“I like to think we have.” His body was tingling. Some sort of nervous system overload, she would tell him. Or maybe a heart attack. But there was no interrupting Scully when she got into a groove like this. It took her a while to build up the momentum and he didn’t want to derail her.

“After all that we’ve been through, it feels almost like an afterthought.”

“What does?”

She almost flinched and then seemed to steel herself. “Saying ‘I love you’.”

Everything stopped, including his heart. “Ah,” he said.

She hunched into herself. Scully got small when she was sad. It stung him. “I did expect a slightly different reaction.”

“It’s just that you’re right,” he said, leaning toward her over the desk. “Everything we’ve been through, you’d think it would be deeper than words. But still, hearing ‘I love you’… it shifts things between us.”

“The same thing they put on the chocolate box,” she said softly.

“How about that,” he said in the same quiet voice. They sat gazing at each other. He would have sworn the stale air of the basement smelled like spring, a breath of damp earth and flowers and beginnings. “But you know you didn’t actually say it.”

She ducked her head and grinned. “Of course you’d notice.”

“I’m a GS-12, Scully. They don’t hand that out for nothing.” He waited.

“I think it counts,” she objected.

“If me saying it after the Queen Mary doesn’t count, that doesn’t count,” he said.

“You were concussed!” She frowned at him. “I thought it was the painkillers talking.”

“You knew it wasn’t,” he said indulgently.

“I hoped it wasn’t,” she corrected. “That isn’t the same thing.”

“You make me a whole person,” he said. “My constant. My touchstone.”

“Panic,” she said. “And head trauma again.”

He shook his head. “I meant it.”

“Say it again,” she said.

“I love you,” he said without hesitation. “What did they say in that awful movie? ‘No ifs, ands, or bees’.”

She narrowed her eyes. Her mouth was tight, but it twitched up at the corners. “You didn’t happen to hit your head this morning, did you?”

“Next time stay over and you can monitor my morning routines,” he said. “No, I didn’t. But you’re free to run your hands through my hair to check for goose eggs. Your preferred method of diagnosis, I believe.”

She ducked her head, chuckling a little. “I love you,” she said.

He smiled at her. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“I love you,” she said again, with wonder in her voice. “I love you.” This time, she got choked up at the end, a light in her eyes brighter than he’d ever seen.

“Hey,” he said gently, getting up from the desk and going to her. He knelt by her table and cradled her face in his hands. She cupped her hands over his. “Scully, hey.”

“I love you,” she said, and now there were tears in her eyes.

“It’s all right,” he said. “I love you too.”

She stifled a sob. “I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s a little overwhelming.”

“Me too,” he said, and eased up to kiss her forehead. “No wonder we kept it under wraps for so long.”

She sighed. He thumbed a tear off her cheek. “God, we’re so stupid.”

“We had our reasons.”

“Mulder, we tried to make a baby together,” she said in an almost plaintive voice. “Who did we think we were fooling?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t say our reasons were valid.”

“I thought it wouldn’t matter, to say those three words,” she said. “After everything we’ve been through. I mean, how many hours in the hospital, holding vigil at each other’s bedsides. How many dinners for two in diners and motel rooms. A hundred times that I said it without saying it.”

“A thousand times.”

“That’s why I left,” she said. Her lips trembled. “I wanted to say it so badly.”

“What were you afraid of?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “That after all this time, it wasn’t good enough, I suppose. Or that the tension between us lately meant it was the wrong choice. Or that it wasn’t what you wanted.”

“Scully, I’ve always wanted you,” he said in a low voice. “I stood on Skyland Mountain and felt my heart rip out of my chest. Nothing that happened between us could ever disappoint me. Especially not what happened the other night.”

She looked into his eyes and nodded. There it was again between them, the understanding that was more than words. He felt the strength of their connection filling him, sustaining him.

“I wouldn’t mind doing it again,” he hazarded. “Maybe even regularly. Indefinitely, if you could fit it into your schedule.”

“I’ll pencil you in,” she said. She tugged at him and he rose, pulling her into his arms as he stood. She fit perfectly against him, the way she always had. He kissed the top of her head.

“Now what?” she said into his chest.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m not really sure how this works. Haven’t had great role models. Maybe we make it up as we go along. We’ve made it this far.”

“Indefinitely,” she said, turning her face up to him. “That sounds a little bit like forever.”

“A lot of things sound like forever when you say them,” he told her.

“Don’t start quoting my senior thesis again,” she teased.

“That’s when I knew you had an affinity for extreme possibilities,” he said. “All I had to do was pull back the curtain.”

“That easy, huh?” She smiled at him and he grinned back. “Speaking of easy, can I buy you dinner?”

“Why, Agent Scully, I thought you’d never ask.” He released her and pulled her jacket off the coat rack, holding it while she shrugged into it. “What’s your pleasure?”

She looked up at him with a sly expression. “I thought we could order in. God knows the delivery guy knows the way to my apartment by now.”

“He definitely thinks we’re dating.” Mulder shrugged on his own jacket.

“Well,” Scully said. “He’s right, I suppose.”

He reached for her hand. “Yeah. We’re dating. Indefinitely.”

“Indefinitely,” she agreed, squeezing his hand, and it sounded like forever and ever.

[dumplingsjinson]

List of random dialogue prompts (pt. 3)

“Truth be told? I miss the times — the me — before I fell in love with you.” 

“You know, I can see myself in, on top of, or under you. What do you say?” “I can see you buried six feet under my very feet if you don’t stop joking about this shit with me.” 

“Was there a point when you fell out of love with me?” “There was a point when I fell in love with you, but never out.”

“When did you fall out of love with me?” “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”

“Right person, wrong time… What if this is the right time? We’re just the wrong people for each other.”

“You have me wrapped around your fingers. Crazy part is, I don’t mind it.” 

“Don’t forget this: I made you. I can easily break you if I wanted to.” 

“I shared pieces of me, with so many people, and none of them kept those pieces safe, and I don’t know if I can risk that with you because it would devastate me if you turn out to be the same as them all. I would be completely destroyed.” 

“Don’t give me that look.”

“You okay?” “No. I need hugs. From you. I need you to hug me.” 

“I just wanna fucking get over you so I can be okay again.” 

“Stop trying to remind me that you’re still in my life. I’m trying to not think about you, for God’s sake.”

“I wanna kiss you so badly right now but we’re in public and I know you hate public display of affection—“ “I’ll allow you to do it this time.” “Wait… Really?” 

“I make shitty decisions and you’re a testament to that matter.”

“I have things to do, and most of them include me trying not to think about you.”

“I’ve never cried because of someone, you know? I didn’t have anyone to cry over. You’re the first, and you’ll also be the last, or so God help me through this embarrassment.” 

“Breaking up with me does not mean you had to kick me off your Spotify playlist, you know? Because damn. As much as I’m upset, your list had some bangers.” 

“You don’t get to do decide my feelings for you.” 

“I’m not bitchless, you fucking dickhead. Take that back!” 

“Every little thing reminds me of you, which sucks because you’re not in my life anymore.”

“It’s kinda weird not seeing your name on my phone when I wake up. It’s gonna take me some time to get used to this.”

“I think I knew this wasn’t going to last when I realised it’s not that I trust you. It’s that I don’t care what you do, and who you might be fucking around with.”

“One text from you has me happier than a child whose mother bought them their favourite candy. It’s not okay.” 

“I don’t share my Spotify playlist with just anyone. It’s like a secret love language of mine, reserved for those I want to let in. You’re one of them, yet you’re here thinking I don’t feel the same way about you?”

“I dunno, I just… Kinda fell for you.”

“You’re the reason why I fell in love with you. You, as a whole.” 

“There are some songs that I can’t listen to anymore, because they remind me of you; of all the times we’ve had together. And it sucks because some of them are great songs. And you fucking ruined them, you asshole.”

“I’m tired of acting like I don’t care, because I do. I fucking do, and that’s what makes this even worse.” 

“One thing you should know about me is that I suck at letting go.”

“So you’re telling me I’m supposed to sit here and give a fuck? You couldn’t pay me enough to do that. I have places to be and things to do.” 

“You need to stop being such a dramatic bitch.” “It’s the only way I can entertain myself, okay? Now piss off and leave me be.” 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have let you go.”

“You deserve someone better than me—” “You don’t get to decide that for me.”

“You ever think about how good we could have been together?” “Yeah. I think about it all the time, and then I remember how badly you fumbled. So yeah, good job.”

“You’re blushing.” “I’m not.” “…Then I guess I’ll have to give you something to blush over.”

“I lost myself while trying to find the good in you.”

“I think it’s comforting that they’re somewhere out there… Even if we never speak again, you know? They were a part of my life, even if it was only for a little while. They made me feel good, even if it was only for a short amount of time.” 

“Remember when you said you’d catch me when I fell? Well, you’re a fucking liar. Figuratively and literally. Now I’m hospitalised and also emotionally scarred. I hope you’re fucking happy about that.” 

“If we break up, I’d look for you in other people and be reminded that they are not you, and that I’d never find someone like you again. And… I don’t think I can bear the thought of that.”

“I give you permission to break my heart.” “And I give you permission to end me if I ever do break your heart.” 

“I have things to do—“ “And I’m one of them.”

“You’re only saying sorry because you want to make yourself feel better, so you can go shove that sweet apology up your ass because it doesn’t mean shit. I hope you continue to feel like shit over what you did, because I’m never forgiving you.”

“I had expectations for someone I knew couldn’t meet those expectations, so that’s my fault for expecting anything from you at all.”

“You? Breaking my heart? It’s funny how you think you even have that power over me.”

“You were like a routine that I loved and it felt… comfortable. But I guess that’s not the case anymore.” 

“You fell in love with the idea of someone that wasn’t even real. You fell in love with your own projections. How are you so foolish to think that it would have worked out?”

“I’m fine. Of course I’m fine.” “Everything about this interaction is telling me you’re not fine — not even close.”

“The idea of us was perfect. Blame me for thinking it would turn out into something good and as fantastical as what I made it out to be in my head.”

“Because no matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s about to drive me to the very brink of insanity, so if you’ll excuse me for not wanting to be near you, that would great.”

“I would not be who I am today if not for you.” 

(pt 1.) | (pt. 2)

[jeankirschteinsimp]

“Falling apart from just a toy… makes me wonder how you’d look with my cock instead.”

Sypnosis: In search of solo satisfaction, Y/N walks into a sex shop looking for a toy that can finally give her the intense pleasure she craves. What she doesn’t expect is to be assisted by Choso…a brooding, mysterious employee whose deep voice and dark eyes stir something deep inside her. As curiosity and desire collide, Choso guides her through her choices with surprising intimacy. When things heat up in the private demo room,

Pairing:

Sexshopemployee/choso x Reader

Content: mdni, smut, mentions of sex toys, choso demonstrates how to use a dildo, cumming, strangers to lovers?, exhibitionist, fem reader, orgasm

Art by Aransmind

You were on the hunt for something that would give you that gut-wrenching, back-arching, delicious feeling… an orgasm.
You knew you were desired and could get some dick if you wanted—but god forbid a girl needs a man to feel pleasure.

So, you did what a girl had to do… you entered a sex shop.

A whole new world opened up to you as you laid eyes on all the toys—dildos, masks, and things you couldn’t even name. A warm, tingling feeling spread through you, making your stomach throb.

As you searched for your new companion, a deep voice suddenly crept behind your ear, asking,
"Do you need help, doll?"

You abruptly turned around and saw a tall, well-built man with dark bags under his eyes. Those same eyes slowly traced over your body before landing back on yours.

"I'm Choso. I work here. If you want, I can help you find something… fitting. And you are?" he asked with a smirk.

"Y/N," you replied.
"Y/N," he repeated, tasting your name. "So, mind telling me what you’re looking for?"

His soft voice calmed you down a bit, and his offer to help felt like a blessing. You honestly had no idea what would suit you—maybe a little guidance wouldn’t hurt.

"Well, I’m looking for a toy… for myself," you said, biting your lip.

"Perfect," he murmured. "Do you have any preferences? A special purpose in mind?"

His thoughts were going berserk. He’d expected anything but a goddess walking through the doors of his part-time job, searching for a toy to fuck herself with. He was desperate to know your taste. Would you want a big dildo? Just a vibrator? The infamous rose toy?
Or maybe… he could convince you to choose him instead.

"Well…" you hesitated, realizing how hard it was to talk about this with a hot stranger watching your every move.

Suddenly, you felt a big hand gently tilt your chin up, forcing your eyes to meet his.

"Look, doll," Choso said softly. "I know it’s not the most comfortable thing to talk about with someone you don’t know. But I just want to help you." He paused, gaze intense.
"I want you to feel good, Y/N," he added, a devilish grin slowly creeping across his face.

This man could not be for real. How the hell did he expect you to act normal after that?
But you weren’t one to back down easily. Two could play that game.

"Choso," you purred, taking his hand and guiding it to your stomach, "I think I’d like something that reaches deep…"you said, letting your fingers press against your lower belly.
"To about here. And some vibration would be perfect too. I like clit stimulation, so something that plays with that would be nice."

You smiled innocently as you let his hand go.

You’d never seen someone clench their jaw so tightly. His gaze darkened, his fingers twitching as if he already missed your touch.

"Y/N," he said, leaning in close, voice low and rough,
"I think I have the perfect thing for you."

Choso’s eyes didn’t leave yours as he stepped past you, motioning for you to follow. You obeyed, walking behind him through the aisles lined with sleek toys and boxes that promised pleasure in every shade imaginable. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat, every step amplifying the tension between you two.

He stopped in front of a glass case, unlocking it with a small key clipped to his belt. His fingers were slow and deliberate as he pulled out a toy—long, curved just right, deep purple with a gold accent at the base. Elegant, but not too much. The shaft looked firm with just enough give, and at the end, a small rabbit-like attachment promised clitoral bliss.

He turned to you, holding it up with a little smirk.
“This one’s a dual stimulator. Reaches deep, like you asked, and this part right here…” he tapped the smaller nub, “…vibrates against your clit. The curve is designed to hit your G-spot—hard.”

Your mouth went dry as you stared at it.

“Wanna feel how strong it is?” he asked, voice low, like he was offering you something dangerous and addictive.

You nodded. Wordlessly.

He pressed the button at the base, and the toy hummed to life in his hand. The vibration was deep and rumbling—you could already tell it would hit exactly where it needed to.

Choso stepped closer, holding the toy out like a secret he was letting you in on.

“Here,” he said. “Come with me.”

He led you behind a black velvet curtain into a private demo room, dimly lit with soft red lighting and a plush seat in the corner.

“Sit,” he said, and you did, your body already tingling with anticipation.

Choso knelt in front of you, the toy still buzzing gently in his hand.

“You trust me?” he asked, looking up at you with those intense, tired eyes.

“Yes,” you breathed, and that was all he needed.

“Good girl.”

He moved your thighs apart slowly, his hands firm but gentle. You were already wet, the idea of being touched, watched, guided…used…sending shivers down your spine.

He pulled your panties to the side with practiced ease and held the toy just at your entrance, letting the vibration tease your clit. You let out a sharp gasp, hips twitching.

“Sensitive?” he asked with a teasing grin.

“Mhmm,” you nodded, biting your bottom lip.

“Good. That means you’ll feel everything.”

With a slow push, he slid the toy inside you, inch by inch, until it curved perfectly against that sweet spot. The smaller part vibrated right against your clit, and you let out a whimper, your legs trembling.

“That’s it, doll… let it take you there.”

Choso watched you intently, like you were the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen. He kept one hand on the toy, controlling the rhythm, the pressure, the angle. He knew exactly what he was doing, and the worst part? He wasn’t even touching himself. He was focused—completely—on you.

“You look so pretty like this, Y/N,” he whispered. “Falling apart from just a toy… makes me wonder how you’d look with my cock instead.”

Your walls clenched around the toy and he chuckled, knowing exactly what he was doing to you.

“Close?” he asked.

You nodded, barely able to speak, back arching, hands gripping the sides of the seat.

“Then come for me, baby. Show me what I did to you.”

And you did…hard. Back arching, breath catching, thighs shaking. He didn’t stop until your orgasm passed and you collapsed back, flushed and glowing.

Choso leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your inner thigh, smirking up at you.

“I told you I’d find the perfect thing.”

-hi, i hoped u liked my FIRST ever story. This was pretty fun to make and i will definitely continue to deliver🧎🏽‍♀️‍➡️

Interact and comment

Mwah, xoxo

[erule]

Twice

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Stark!reader

Summary: you and Peter have been rivals for a lot of time, until one day everything changes. But it’s the same old story: you love him, he loves you, then you die and he doesn’t have the chance to confess his endless love for you. Or is it?

Warnings: spoilers from Avengers: Endgame, reader is Tony’s daughter, Peter and reader are 18+ here, fluff, a lot of angst, enemies to friends to lovers, happy ending though

Word count: 2084

A/N: Hi! I just wanted to write something after a long time. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think in the comments, if you want 

Taglist: @imawhoreforyou, @blankspaceblankday, @sarahcameronswife, @belovedholland.

Main Materlist: here.

Twice.

I believe that things in life happen twice, like getting a job offer or falling in love. For instance, I fell in love twice. The first one was in high school, with my classmate, but he didn’t want me. The second one was with Peter, but he didn’t want me either. I guess that some things never change. Sometimes, if you’re very lucky, things can also happen thrice, but it’s rare that some trains pass in front of you. This kind of fortune never really occurred to me, that’s why I still think that things in life happen twice. When you don’t understand the occasion, it comes along again for you to see it and finally take it. Maybe that’s why I died twice.

But let’s go back to the beginning, shall we?

Did it never happen to you to die in a metaphorical way? Like when you feel a pain in your heart that doesn’t go away, a deaf heavy brick onto your chest. So you try to breathe, but every rib hurts when you try to do so. Well, this happened to me when Peter told me that he kissed MJ. I was his best friend, I should have been happy for him, but I couldn’t. The reason is obvious: I was in love with him. Common, right? You’re probably thinking that. Our friendship didn’t begin like that, though. We were rivals at first, even enemies sometimes, because my dad preferred to work with him and not with me. I mean, I had Morgan, my younger sister, but it wasn’t enough for me. I needed him to actually see me. Now I regret it. Anyway, before we grew closer, I couldn’t stand Peter and he couldn’t stand me. We used to bicker all the time, until one night. One single night. 

“Hi”, I said.

It changed my entire life.

“Hey”.

“What’s up?”

“I’m just hungry”, he replied, while looking into the fridge.

“Wanna know a secret?” I asked him. He turned in order to look at me. There was a spark of genuine curiosity in his gaze, but I was staring at his half smile on his face, a ghost of something that he didn’t use with me.

“Shoot”.

“The best food is not in the kitchen,” I replied. “It’s actually in my room”.

He grinned at me.

“Wow Y/N, I didn’t know you were this naughty. I thought you hated me. Turns out you just wanted something from me”.

I laughed out loud.

“You’re mistaken, Spidey. I just wanted to be kind, but turns out you’re a jerk. Goodnight, I’m gonna eat my marshmallows alone”.

“Wait, are you for real? True marshmallows? I’m coming,” he said and I smiled at him, truly happy. I didn’t have many friends at school, so I was glad to finally have somebody to hang out with, even if it was my rival.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hate Peter, I just wanted my dad’s love, that’s all. Besides, it was impossible to hate Peter: he was the light when everybody came into the room. He made everybody comfortable and he reassured who needed a kind word. I admired him. Today I wouldn’t have treated him like that.

“I actually have one request,” I said, when he sat on my bed, while looking around.

“I knew it”.

“Spidey-sense?”

“No, I just know you, I guess,” he said and I felt a knot in my stomach. “Anyway, anything for you. I’m so hungry!”

“What if I’d ask you something terrible?” I asked him, while giving him some marshmallows on a plate. “What if you were wrong?” 

Maybe I wasn’t talking about him, but about myself. I was so concerned not to be Tony Stark’s perfect daughter, that somehow I acted like that just so people could be right about me. Maybe I was just worried to be an evil person.

But he shrugged. Peter ate a marshmallow, looked straight into my eyes and said: “You’re not what you think you are, Y/N. Trust me, I would know”.

“Because you know me?”

“No, because of my Spidey-sense, you silly little girl,” he said and I chuckled. Then, his face became so serious it almost scared me. “You know, Ned warned me about you once”.

“Oh, really? Why?” I asked, while sitting next to him.

“He said that you’re trouble”.

“Trouble?”

“Yeah, like staring directly at the Sun. It’s kinda dope, though. You’re more like the Moon, but still. The Moon is so pretty and strong”.

“Strong? Why?”

“Yeah, because it takes courage to stay in the sky without anybody in the dark”.

“Oh, well, but the Moon has the stars. They’re like soldiers: they protect her”.

Peter looked at me while eating another marshmallow, as if he was really thinking about what I said, then he nodded.

“I agree. I can be your star,” he said. “I’ll protect you. From now on, we’re friends,” he stated. 

I smiled at him.

“Thanks, friend”.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “Oh, what did you wanna ask me?”

I didn’t actually have anything to ask him. Maybe I just wanted some accompany that night, because I couldn’t sleep either. His words changed me, though. I wanted to return the favor in some way.

“One day, I’m gonna ask you to promise me something and you’ll have to keep your word”.

He brought a hand to his heart and swore to do so.

“Okay”.

And that was the night I fell in love with Peter Parker. 

Some years after that, when we were at university, he broke my heart when he told me he kissed MJ. 

“Why do I feel like you’re not happy about it?” He asked me. 

How do you explain to somebody that you’re drowning in your own thought? In your own blood, in your own bones. It’s like you’re disappearing, but you really don’t. You just wish you could.

“Because I don’t really like her”.

“You’re kinda the same person, actually,” he said and it really hurt me.

“What?”

“No, wait, I didn’t mean to…”

“If you think that you can replace me with her, you can do it. It’s fine,” I said, shutting the door behind me.

“Y/N! I didn’t mean to say that! I just wanted… I just… I don’t know,” he sighed, then I heard him sitting on the floor, his back on the door and his breath so distant from my skin. He stayed silent for a couple of minutes, that’s why I thought he went away. I could still hear his heartbeat through the door though, since I was with my back on it like him. “You’re irreplaceable, to me. I just wanted to say that you’re similar to MJ, that’s it. You’re two black cats. I’m sorry”.

I remained silent for some time, then I sighed: it was impossible to stay angry at him for more than two minutes straight.

“That makes you a golden retriever, then?” I asked and he chuckled.

“I guess so”.

I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him that I was in love with him then and that I had been for years, but the words wouldn’t come up to my mouth. Besides, he was in love with someone else. We were just friends and it had to be enough for me.

“Hey, Peter?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I learned that stars that shine the brightest do that because they’re dying. I shouldn’t do that”.

“Do what? Shine?”

“Die,” I said. “You’re not allowed to die. Okay?”

“Okay”.

I didn’t know it then, but I’d have been the one to die.

Thanos was… a lot of things. And Peter was a lot of things to me. So when I had to choose what to do, it was simple. My Dad didn’t want me to be there, but I was on the battlefield. I saw people fight, die give everything they could. It was terrific. But I was there to protect Peter, because I knew that he couldn’t do that alone, despite him being so strong all the time. Because he was like me. 

“Y/N?” He shouted, when he saw me. He was surprised and scared at the same time. “You shouldn’t be here!” 

“I should!” I said, while I was fighting with one of Thanos’ soldiers.

“If anything happens to you, I swear…”

“Nothing will happen!” I said, while he was winning against some soldier.

“Mr. Stark will be very disappointed!”

Yes, he was.

“He’ll understand!”

No, he didn’t.

“Why are you here?” Peter asked me, while he was close enough to put his hands on my shoulders. I had an armor, but it was useless when he looked into my eyes. I melted like a silly little girl.

“You know why,” I said and I prayed that he understood it. My heart clenched.

He gulped.

“I don’t”.

“You shine brighter than me. I can’t allow you to die,” I replied.

“This doesn’t make any sense, Y/N. I won’t leave you here. I’ll take you home”.

“You will,” I said. “You have to. You promised. Don’t follow me. You have to keep your word, remember? If Thanos kills me…”

“No, Y/N, no…”

“If Thanos kills me,” I continued, “you won’t look for revenge. Is it clear?”

“Y/N…”

“Is it clear?” I repeated, determined. He nodded. “Good”.

You’re asking yourself how I knew that, right? Well, I didn’t. But I knew Peter. I knew that he would have followed me anywhere, because I would have done that too. 

Then, everything happened all at once. My Dad saw me from the distance. He called out my name, but I didn’t hear him. I was disappearing. Peter looked at me in disbelief, too astonished to talk. That was me dying twice. 

“Remember me,” I said, while trying to hug him, but it was like my muscles were too tired to even embrace him. I was slowly falling asleep.

“Y/N? Y/N?” He called. “I love you! I love you!” He screamed, his voice a desperate heartbreak into the air. “I love you!”

When my dad reached out to him, it was already too late for me. 

***

When Peter came back from the cemetery, he didn’t expect to see Tony Stark at his university, after five years. He knew that Y/N came to the battle just to protect Peter, so he hated him because if his eldest daughter died was his fault. But now he knew what to do in order to bring her back and he needed his help to do it. 

“Mr. Stark,” Peter said, surprised. “I didn’t expect to see you here”.

“It’s her death anniversary, I know, but I had other things to do,” he said. “I know how to bring her back, Peter, but I need you to come with me”.

Peter shaked his head.

“I don’t understand: I thought that you hated me”.

“Y/N always said that nobody could really hate you and she was right”.

Peter smiled at him, his lips trembling.

“I broke up with MJ the day before the battle. I wanted to tell her, but I never got the chance. I thought that she didn’t want me”.

Tony put a hand on his shoulder, a warm smile on his face.

“There’s not a world in which she doesn’t want you, I fear”.

That being said, they were coming back to the past with the other Avengers in order to save Y/N and the people who had died because of Thanos. Tony was the first one to see Y/N coming back from the dead.

“Peter!” He called.

Peter turned and he saw Y/N. It was like coming back from a dream. She was finally back into his arms and he wouldn’t have let her go, this time. He dipped his nose into the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent. It was so real it made his heart ache. If he could have exchanged his place with her in all those years, he would have done so. He would have done anything to make her live a normal life. Being without her meant not living, but barely floating on the surface.

“I’m in love with you,” he said. “I’ve been for most of my life, actually. Since that night we ate the marshmallows together”.

He saw her bring her hands on her heart, tilting her head with tears in her eyes.

“And you’re my light, Peter. You always have been”.

Then he hugged her again and it felt like coming home.  

[swappedandtrapped]

Rent Help - Part 1

Hey, first thing I'm posting here. Character consistency with AI is difficult for me, so just go with it.

It wasn't a good time in my life. The pandemic hit, making me unemployed. I stayed at home to avoid getting sick and with nothing to do I was starting to find any excuse to go out of my room. I was renting this flat with another guy I found on Craigslist, Roy.

Roy was my age, he moved in from some place outside the county a few years ago and we managed to stay out of each others' way. Maybe except a few times I heard his booming voice shout at the TV, cursing other players in some online game. He was also too comfortable in the house, taking off his shirt and staying like that even when guests came over.

Slowly, the world came back to order. The quarantines stopped, but I was still out of a job. I ended up searching for a long while. I was struggling and really tried to be frugal. Eating cheap, saving up, the usual. But my savings were about to run out.

I was desperate, and even though I felt bad doing so, I asked Roy if he could lend me the money for rent. Roy, to my disappointment, refused. He said he had really bad experiences with friends he lent money to, but never payed him back. I begged, said it was a sure thing, I was willing to do anything, sign contracts, whatever he wanted.

"Sorry man," He said. "You know how it is, I can't let my friends owe me money," He insisted. "But if you're willing to do something for me in return, I think we can still work something out." I was hesitant. "What do you mean? Like doing your laundry?" "Well. Sort of." He smiled. "Just make sure to be free this weekend so you could help me with that thing." It was either that or become homeless, so I jumped to hug him "Yes, of course! Anything! Thanks man!" "No worries. I'll give you the details Friday morning."

The week went by quick. I wasn't sure what he wanted, but I guessed it was just some house work or doing errands for him. He was straight, so anything sex related was out of the question. I relaxed and knew that I won't be kicked out of my place. At least this month.

…

Friday morning came, but my alarm didn't go off. I woke from the direct sunlight peaking through the window curtains when I knew that my window was facing west. But the first thing that I knew was wrong was the smell. Something smelled... Wrong... Like someone else's laundry. In my half-asleep state, I turned on my side to get my phone to check the time. Eyes still closed, I couldn't feel the phone on my nightstand. I opened my eyes to see where the hell was it, but my heart stopped when I first saw my hand.

It definitely wasn't my hand. Darker skin, hairier, and a bit bigger than mine. I saw it was attached to a foreign arm with the same features of the hand. Darker skin, more hair, and bigger than mine. I gasped in fright and used the hand and arm to take off the blanket and reveal what was underneath.

Not my body. This is definitely not my body. I was wearing only pajama shorts, which I never do. My chest was thick, heavy, and hairy. My gut spilling over its own weight. My legs wiggled with fat from my movement. Wait, is this… Roy's body? I touched my chin and felt the beard Roy had. I took a look up from my body and saw I was actually in his bed, which is also in his room. What the fuck happened to me? What is going on? I run to a mirror to see if my fear is true. All I saw was Roy, having the same expression of horror I had.

I screamed, only to quickly stop and cover my mouth. What the hell was this sound coming out of me? "Ahh, test, test." I tried to listen and realized I also heard Roy's voice coming my throat. MY throat! I couldn't escape it. I tried looking for a way out of this body, clawing my skin to find an opening, but all I did was hurt myself.

I was out of breath. I started to sweat. The world was spinning and I had to sit down. After crashing on the shared living room sofa, my heartbeat lowered to a normal pace, but I was still shocked. "What the fu-" I said, surprised again to hear Roy's accent through my teeth. Was this a dream? What the fuck is going on?

"Can you keep it down? It's barely 8 o'clock." a voice behind me said. My voice. My real voice. I looked up to see who I assumed was "Roy?". I stood up to face him. "I didn't think you'd wake up this early, but whatever, I guess we can do this now." "You… You knew about this?" I stammered. "Wait. Did YOU do this?!" "Don't make a big deal out of it man, I told you I'll needed you on Friday." "FOR WHAT!?" I shouted, with his booming voice. "For replacing you?!"

"Don't give yourself too much credit. It's just for this weekend.". He started getting ready to go out. "And I don't need you to replace me, I just needed to not be me for a bit." "WHAT THE FUCK ROY?!" I started getting out of breath again. Maybe even a low-key panic attack. "Why didn't you say anything about that? I thought I was just gonna clean your room or something!"

"I don't understand why you're so upset. You're getting free rent money for basically just sitting on your ass all day." "Because you TOOK MY BODY." "Don't be dramatic, it's just for the weekend. I'm borrowing it." He put on my coat on his way out. "Couldn't you tell me before? How did you even do this?"

"That's not important, I've had this thing since I was little." He started putting on my shoes and tying his shoelaces. Listen, if you don't want this, we can switch back now, but forget about the rent. I'm not giving out free money. It's your choice."

I started to form an insult, but quickly realized this might be my only option. And is being in Roy's body for a weekend really that bad?

"And this is just for the weekend?" "Yes." "And all I have to do is stay here?" "Or go out, I don't care. I just need your body." "But why?" "That's where the money comes in. Most of the pay is for you being discreet about this." The gears in my head turned. "What, like something illegal? Sex? Don't do weird shit in my body." "Nothing sketchy, I promise, but I really need to go. I'll be back tomorrow."

He closed the door after him, leaving me still shocked at the situation he got me into.

Thanks for reading. Part 2 out soon.