#to REALLY get into the spirit lmao

[midnight-mourning]

mmmmm take these and panic:

Chapter won't be out this coming week (like I said on ao3, need to do every 2 weeks for a bit) but should be on track for the week after!

For now, do what you will with these out of context ch. 35 spoilers :)

[rotisseries]

rick riordan dickriders on here will be like "why are you complaining about the pjo tv show, go watch the movies and see what a bad adaptation really looks like" ok well listen to the musical watch it on youtube and see what a good adaptation looks like bitch. it can be done. as a fucking stage musical. what did that 15 million per episode do for disney that chris mccarell couldn't

[larrythefloridaman]

WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth

YA gothic horror

Victorian fantasy where mediums can commune with spirits - if they’re registered and controlled

a trans boy attempts become a Speaker as a boy, but is found out, threatened with an arranged marriage, and sent to a finishing school to ‘cure’ girls from veil sickness (hysteria)

he quickly realises girls are disappearing and their ghosts start begging him for help, and he tries to investigate and expose the horrors of the place, and survive

autistic trans boy MC, trans girl love interest

[sangcreole]

.

[trashlie]

I saw a theory about Mr. Kim being Kousuke's real father. Makes me want to throw up. And then I saw another comment on that thread how the real thing that would break Kou is realizing that Nol is no longer his brother.

And omg ew? Sang Chul would be??

And I'm never getting over Nol's plastered smile. The sneer. The humans suck line.

The "Convince Me" line.

Girl I'm going thru it.

You totally called it on the theories.

The WORST kind of "OH GOD I KNEW IT" weeks have been happening for me when it comes to ILY lmaoooo and I NEED QUIMCHEE TO GIVE ME A BREAK AND LET ME CATCH MY BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!

Gonna drop my thoughts below the read more! Spoilers spoilers spoilers!!!!!!!!!!

When Elle and I talked about the "Rand isn't Kousuke's father" theory on the fourth episode of our podcast I even talked about how as much as I don't want the theory to be true for Kousuke's sake, narratively it's SO compelling and it just makes SO MUCH SENSE. I remember the first time I read the theory, too, how initially I was like "no way, this feels really out there" but it just stuck with me. I couldn't let it go, I kept going back to that panel, the "you're the sole heir" speech bubble over Nol's face and I think I've just always felt that it meant something, you know? That quimchee would NOT have done that if it didn't mean something, if we weren't supposed to read into it, if it wasn't meant to be the earliest of foreshadowing of this theory.

And to have it actually confirmed!!!!! Just has me SCREAMING but absolutely anticipating what it means for everyone!!!! Because not only does it mean everything Kousuke has ever worked for - the only thing he's ever had to his name, the only career option he's ever had - is taken away from him and thrust to someone who may not even want it, someone who wants to be as far away from this family and this coldblooded, bloodthirsty rivalry as he can get.

Neither of them get any reprieve.

Kousuke never had any other option, and is left with nothing.

Nol will likely be thrust into the heart of everything he wants to excuse himself from, everything he's come to resent and loathe and GOD it's insane to see how it's all unfolding, after all this time!!!!!!!!

I think, too, in thinking about the fact that Nol isn't even Kousuke's brother is that it means re-examining the rawness of 212 and what it means for Kousuke, who believes that he got none of the good traits of Rand that he sees in Nol, the good parts that he's never been privileged enough to see in Rand himself, and that he was left with only the worst parts of him - the cold man with his back turned to him. But it's worse, because none of that was his.

(Please know that I am saying this SO VERY LOOSELY, in the sense of how I imagine Kousuke is thinking this. I'm not a fan of the "Rand suspected Kousuke wasn't his son and that's why he was so cold with him" theories. Frankly, I think they're disgusting and it shows an interesting bias in people in how they perceive biological family to be more worthy over, say, adopted family. I think it's very evident that Rand loves both of his sons and has done the best within his means, but has been dealing with an incredibly controlling tyrant of a wife who has ensured that he had little chance to provide the nurturing he wanted to, who ensured that there was a gap between him and Kousuke so that Kousuke would be forever chasing after him, because she needed him to stay focused on her goal. I refuse to humor conversation that implies Rand loves or favors Nol more because that's his biological son and because Kousuke is, currently suspected to be, the son of a Kim, he has less love for him. That's a disgusting mindset. Biological love does not make someone inherently love their child more. Yui herself proves this. And in that same vein, not being Kousuke's biological father does not excuse Rand's part in Kousuke's neglect and that it was the commodification of his love that has factored into how Kousuke has come to view love in this transactional manner and why he struggles to see his father's true love for what it is. Regardless of whose genetic material fathered him, Rand is the man who raised Kousuke as his son, the man Kousuke saw as his father, and therefore he is Kousuke's father.)

Kousuke has modeled himself after his father in every way, tried so hard to emulate him, to be someone who will make his father proud, who can earn his affection and feels like he hasn't succeeded at that yet - and to find out that the man he has spent his entire life emulating is not, in fact, his father? Is going to CRUSH him. Not because it changes the fact that it was Rand who raised him and Rand to whom Kousuke looked up, but because it's yet another lie in a series of Yui's lies, yet another lie that she has used to manipulate him, to mold him into her pawn, to create him into a likeness of something of her own desire, rather than ever allow him to be his own person.

She lied to him about his father. She whispered paranoia to him about his brother his brother's mother. She made him believe that everyone is out to get them, to tear them down, that because they are better than everyone else he can trust no one. She used these tactics to isolate him and played upon the paranoia and fear that she created and instilled upon him so that when he did rebel and stray from her, when he did try to be his own person and have friends and a life of his own, she could pull him back to where she felt he belonged, at her side. She smothered and suffocated him and manipulated and lied to him and nothing she has done to or for him has ever been honest and even his father is a lie. Even his goals and motivation is a lie.

I know a lot of people still hate Kousuke but it fucks me up. It has me choked up, to think of what it must be like to be him, and to have this bombshell thrust upon you, that everything you believed has been a lie, that your mother has been manipulating you for your whole life, she's been drugging you, you have finally grasped the gravity of the harm you have caused using the justification she has equipped you with. To come to the realization that everything you ever justified was never truly justifiable, that you caused harm that cannot be undone.

How do you come back from that?

How do you deal with that?

And then, to find out that the man you've believed was your father isn't. That the only person who ever offered you unconditional love, whose relationship you've destroyed isn't even your brother, and has no reason to ever turn to look your way ever again.

Kousuke was right. He has no brother.

And it devastates me lmao ;____________;

And I do really think that it means his father is Gun Kim. All of the comparisons to Sangchul and Kousuke have haunted me as much as this theory.

BUT MAN IT'S JUST SO MUCH QUIMCHEE IS JUST OUT HERE WITH A BODY COUNT. MA'AM. SLOW DOWN I CAN'T KEEP UP. Nol is on a warpath and I need him to CHILL.

Actually no you know what was the FUNNIEST thing to me about Nol and his humans suck line? THE FACT THAT MY GIRL SHINAE IS OUT HERE BLUSHING.

GIRL. /GIRL/

She is DOWN BAD. SO FUCKING BAD. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i can't stand her I love her she's a whole hot mess express I really need to gather myself and drop some thought dump posts over here finally because generally my reaction to all of these episodes lately has been [SCREAMING CAT]

i'm two for two on "dark theories i didn't want to be true but knew in my gut are" and listen. I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE IT ;_______; HOWLING

[caluupin]

Father!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[emiliosandozsequence]

so funny how my mother's mentality of horror films as well as my own brief and negative interactions with them made me so terrified to watch them for years and years and then when i finally decided to give them a shot, it turned out i loved them

[good-beanswrites]

Hello hello! It's me again! (That one Anon who requested Lies with Kazui & Yuno, but I've set up my account now so no need to ask anonymously again lol) Thank you for satisfying my previous request, it was such a delight to read. I keep rereading it every now and then and I'm still always left in awe with it like jesus christ you didn't have to go all in on that im sobbing with the 0207 friendship dynamic.

I've also seen your latest post and drabble asks. I'd like to request from the Drabble List#1 - #5 “Idiots. They are all idiots.” with Es themselves!

Let the prisoners have fun and Es just stares at them nonchalantly, silently judging their idiocy from afar, hell, maybe even let Yuno/Mikoto convince them to join. You can do anything as long as you think it'll fit, they're all just a little silly (minus the fact they're in prison lol).

With all that said, take your time and no rush! I can always wait. Thanks a lot! ...now back to rereading my previous request for the nth time,, i love it so much,, thankyouagain

Ah thank you so much, that means so much!! I'm so glad you liked it, that one was really nice to write :'D And yesss thank you for the request -- this was such a blast to do as well! (though I also made myself emotional over Es' lost childhood, that was less fun ;___;) I debated on several activities within the prison but thought this was plausible and fun for some mid-T1 shenanigans

Es had a job to do. They had many eyes watching them. They had several lives in their hands. They had heavy responsibilities. They didn’t have time for something as silly as ‘video game night’, regardless of the laughter that bubbled up from the common room as they passed by. They were not way tempted to join, regardless of how much fun the group seemed to be having when they peered their head in.

Fuuta had whined that Es had replaced all his requests with completely outdated consoles and games, confirming they had been successful in choosing things without any access to the internet or outside world. Plus, they thought, this gave the older prisoners a fighting chance with some of the games.

Not that they cared whether or not the prisoners had a good time. That wasn’t any concern of theirs. Even in these long periods of rest between their more eventful duties, they must remain focused.

The laughter crescendoed into delighted screaming.

Es figured one more look inside wouldn’t hurt. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on everyone, after all. 

The prisoners had gathered various chairs and bedding material, creating makeshift couches. Some piled onto the new seating, some splayed out on the ground, others stood in excitement. The television was so small, the two players needed to lean all the way forward to see. 

Mahiru bounced in her seat as Yuno whipped around her remote. Fuuta was demanding Kazui play better, gesturing wildly at the screen. Shidou chucked to himself as the others grew more intense. Haruka kept asking questions about the game, receiving an answer only about half the time. 

As the match got closer, Yuno leapt to her feet. She tried to shimmy in front of Kazui and block his view. He stood to prod her out of the way. Muu called foul play, though she said it with a thrill rather than accusation. Fuuta repeated it -- with quite a lot of accusation -- and tried to push Yuno out of the way. Mikoto tried to hold him back, voicing his support of Yuno’s methods. 

The others got caught up in the yelling. Amane’s eyes were wide in anticipation. Kotoko pumped her fist as the battle got even closer. The room erupted in movement and shoving and tripping and remote pulling -- until they yanked the tiny television forward. 

The thick cord came free, and the screen went black just before a winner was announced. Ten voices chorused their outrage.

Es shook their head. “Idiots. They are all idiots.”

They turned away as the prisoners hurried to set everything up again. They were just about to turn the corner into the panopticon when Yuno’s voice called from behind.

“Hey!” She ran up, taking advantage of their brief pause. “I saw you passing by. Why don’t you come join us?”

Not for the first time, Es wished they had enough height to look down on all the prisoners. “I’m your warden. I’m not some child here to play games with you all.”

She pursed her lips. “I’m not a kid either. But I’m still down for a night to unwind.”

“You’re lucky to have the luxury to relax. I, on the other hand, am busy right now.”  

Yuno made a show of looking left, then right, across the empty hallway. “And what exactly are you doing right now?”

“I’m working.”

She frowned. “Uh-huh…”

“I am!” They fumbled for more, coming up blank. They should have known the moment she came skipping over to them that it would be impossible to fool her. There was no need for this routine check of the prison; everyone was gathered in the common room except them. Yuno had known this before uttering a single word.

Her hands fluttered in a dismissive gesture. “Too much work is never good for you. It doesn’t matter how mature you are -- if you get too caught up in your job it’ll drive you to some crazy things.” She smirked. “Just look at Shidou. Or Mikoto!”

“I could look at you…”

Though surprise flickered across her face, she kept grinning. “Exactly! So let’s get you in here.” She tugged on their arm. Prisoners couldn’t physically move Es against their will. 

They huffed as they found themselves inching closer and closer to the entryway.

“I suppose I can come and watch,” they muttered, “and still keep an eye on you all.”

“No! No more working!” She managed to get them into the room. “Here, you can take my spot in the next round.”

Kazui looked over. “Who said you were getting the next spot?”

“Oh come on, I was clearly going to win that one.”

“Clearly? I'm pretty sure was seconds away from beating you.”

“Well then, I guess Es can take your spot.”

“Es is playing?” Haruka looked up excitedly. 

“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

It was as if they hadn’t said anything at all. The others launched into a discussion of who would give their remote to Es? Who would they’d face off against? Were they resetting the bracket they’d begun? Which game would they return to? The ten argued in circles for a while. For a group of murderers, they were insistent on a fair tournament. After breaking up some bickering that could have become physical, Es once again wondered how they ended up watching over a mess like this. 

At length the game was chosen, and a rematch was slated for Yuno and Kazui later in the night. To save themself time and sanity, Es went ahead and picked their opponent.

“I’ll play Fuuta.” 

He had been the obvious choice: he could supply enough chatter for the both of them, so Es could remain silent. Also, he was guaranteed to win and free them from an obligation to play more than one round. They flashed a look at some of the more observant prisoners, hoping they didn’t tip them off.

However, no one was really watching them too keenly. Mahiru clapped in joy. Yuno beamed. Mikoto shoved a remote into their hands. Haruka started rapidly explaining the rules to them. Shidou directed Es to their seat in the center. Kotoko gave them an encouraging nod. As expected, Fuuta was already deep into trash talk as he sat next to them.

They really were simple-minded people, more focused on this silly game than the fact their warden had just sat amongst them. It was dangerous to let one’s guard down in a place like this, Es reminded themself. 

With a little jingle, the match began. 

Their fingers flew across the controls. Though they had a rocky start, some sort of muscle memory kicked in. Surely this game had come out before they were born, and there was no way they’d played it regularly. None of that mattered much. Their little avatar was obviously gaining the lead.

Their eyes stayed fixed on the screen as they received slaps on the back and nudges. Their guard's cap was knocked off in the shuffling, but they couldn't risk picking it up. Voices called all around them.

“Aw, don’t just let the kid win!” Mikoto said.

“I’m not!” Fuuta was desperate. “They fucking tricked me! They’re a pro!”

Es felt energy run through their entire body. Their original plan already slipping away, they wondered if they could actually beat Fuuta. It would be fun to see… They leaned forward, holding their breath. The audience continued cheering the pair on. Once again, the room was swept up in shouts.

The match ended. A little banner flashed across the screen to name Es victorious. They jumped up, a small whoop escaping them. 

They would’ve melted in shame right then and there, if the sound weren’t already drowned out by the surrounding chaos. The others laughed and shook Es in amazement. Fuuta let out a string of colorful language.

“That was incredible!”

“Holy shit!”

“How’d you do that?”

Es placed the cap back on their head, pulling it over their eyes. “I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. I’m done for the night.” They tried to pass off the remote, but Mikoto pushed it back into their hands. 

“Nuh-uh. I want to see this for myself.” He grabbed the other one from a dejected Fuuta. “Same game. Same characters. Lemme see what you’ve got.”

Es wasn’t meant to play one round, much less get caught up in their ridiculous tournament.

Don’t be an idiot, they told themself.

“Bring it on,” they told Mikoto.

[valeriianz]

🧃and 🍄 for the truth or dare ask game! xo @hardly-an-escape

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

hmm! i dont think i've shared how often i bounce around. im in the US and have lived and/or worked in 7 states, and my address changes every year. there is no real reason for this except i just get antsy/bored and if im not moving to a new city i'll just hop from one apartment to the next.

i inherited it from my parents constantly separating and getting back together as a kid, i think. i went to 13 different grade schools (that was fucking hell. you can imagine the bullying i endured, though constantly being the new kid was only one out of many reasons my classmates targeted me lollll).

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

... idk if i have a one favorite lmao im very predictable with what i enjoy the most. but ahhh in human AUs i love it when Dream is portrayed to be this super confident, snarky guy who knows he's sexy and uses it to his advantage haha. almost like Desire... but not malicious. just a guy who can Get It.

writers truth and dare asks

[pix-writes]

The thing is Justified... I know a lot of peeps like it but its not really my jam, but holy hell does Walton steal every scene he's in! Timothy Olyphant is great too, but even if I didn't know how amazing Walton is already as an actor, he really does capture your attention from the off. So that's why I've started watching it anyways 😅

Its also so funny to me Boyd Crowder's supposed to be this big bad antagonist from the off, but so far (as I've watched) what he's done is appear very receptive to Raylan's presence and requests and bascially winds him up a lot! Every time Boyd's showed up in recent eps i've watched he's been like "Raylan, let me bring up your trauma for a second. Do you want to talk about your daddy issues?"

Whilst Raylan shuts him down quickly and Boyd is just like "hmm, do you think your repressing of your emotions is boiling up into a rage and that's why ur so trigger happy, babe? Maybe u should do something about that..." - it's great haha ^^

[orcelito]

After I get adhd meds it's all over for you fuckers. And by that I mean I'm hoping it will let me focus on my writing enough that I can continue both ITNL *and* discacc. Concurrently!!!!

That's the dream, at least. I love ITNL too much to wanna give it up midway through (pls ignore the 4 months hiatus 🙏 I've been goin thru it) BUT ALSO I really really love discacc too.

For now. Adhd only allows one focus at a time, and barely even that. But someday... I will get to write both vash AND akechi fics. Thank you.

[john-keels-sinister-goatee]

Academia sometimes feels like monasticism. The people who flourish in it are devout. They felt a call and they don't mind suffering for it. Sacrificing for it, when they have to. Skipping exercise and sleep and eating crappy food for it. There's an intense, barely-disguised masochism to it all - and I'm not a masochist. Or as I put it to a friend the other day, "This kind of feels like whatever the opposite of self-care is."

She responded, "That would be self-harm."

I was keeping myself afloat for a while by telling myself things will slow down once I'm done with grad school, but everything I see about life post-PhD suggests otherwise, and I can feel myself getting brattier and brattier about it. I think I'm dangerously close to going full Feyerabend and starting some argument about dream visions and ritual magic as legitimate ways of knowing. I would only be half-joking at this point. Like, does measuring how fast it takes a group of undergrads to recognize a word *actually* help us understand human nature more than reading John Dee's wacky spirit diaries or painting a big mandala that you saw in your dreams? (Also, reading Crowley's "The Initiated Interpretation of Ceremonial Magic" while keeping Jerry Fodor in mind is a fun exercise.) Only one of those things is science, though...which is totally the appropriate way to study this stuff...right?

And in the meantime I have to find time in between grading and homework and pretending to care about publications and conference talks to clean my apartment and work out and eat. I darned some socks the other day and felt more useful than I have in ages.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: THE HAUNTED BOOKSTORE by Shinobumaru, with art by Medamayaki and character design by Munashichi.

So I don't tend to read much manga, BUT: last year, I was trying to buy a copy of THAT WE MAY LIVE (an anthology from Two Lines Press) for a friend for Christmas, and Bookshop sent me the second volume of this series instead?? Which. Looked SO directly up my alley (hello: birdguy with black wings on the cover?? haunted BOOKstore?? "gateway to a parallel universe"??? yeah okay I'll bite) that instead of donating the book (like customer support said I could do, since they didn't want it back), I tracked down the first volume to give it a go, and then proceeded to mosey through them gently over a couple nights.

These were fun! They turned out to be just as Up My Alley as I hoped, they matched my current writing project vibes REALLY well, AND they were a nice break from heavy prose. Winning all around!

[sangcreole]

look. the thing is........this show is so obsessed with whatever “fucked up gothic romance” they’re trying to market to people to the point of completely ignoring the characters and their specific traits that MAKE them gothic monsters to begin with??? louis killing lestat is so fucking beyond the point of the book like it just baffles me!!!! 

like, yeah it’s really fucked up to watch him hold lestat close and slit his throat but you know what was MORE fucked up to begin with??? lestat genuinely wanting to make amends with claudia, and being blindsided by this fledgling they’ve created with no ounce of humanity. lestat calling out to louis for help and louis frozen with indecision, petrified and horrified both by the act itself and the realization that claudia has the capacity for such an act. 

i don’t think it was cruel to have louis kill lestat. i think the crueler option was to give claudia the final blow she deserves and have louis watch, and do absolutely nothing.

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

i know im not breaking new ground for saying legend of korra is disappointing but so much of the series is genuinely off putting to me. the setting, the tone, how the narrative tortures korra it feels like

which is a shame because I love korra as a character (even if her writing isn't The best at times). but there are so many aspects of the show I don't like. fuck there's so many characters in the show I dont even like either