#but it really does get to the point with horror films where nothing is scary anymore

[emiliosandozsequence]

so funny how my mother's mentality of horror films as well as my own brief and negative interactions with them made me so terrified to watch them for years and years and then when i finally decided to give them a shot, it turned out i loved them

[daytaker]

The Demon Brothers React to Watching a Horror Movie with You

CW: discussion of gore (Satan)

I didn’t include the dateables in this one but if people want that, y’know…let me know.

Lucifer

"You frighten yourself... intentionally? Interesting."

He fails to see the appeal, quite frankly.

Not only does he not find them scary, he doesn't understand why you watch them if you do.

He's too used to playing the babysitter to take you grabbing his hand as an excuse for physical contact. He interprets it as you tapping out, so he'll pause the movie and give you an out.

Of course, if you insist on finishing the movie regardless, that's an interesting choice in and of itself.

What an opportunity to observe a tortured human psyche at work.

If you insist on holding hands at this point, he won't fight it. He is a bit more dubious than before, though. Are you really doing this because you're scared? You wouldn't happen to have any ulterior motives, would you?

He will gladly reassure you after the movie is over that you are always welcome to come to him for comfort if you're afraid in the middle of the night. You know where his room is.

Mammon

"Just so we’re clear, I ain’t afraid of no horror movies. Not even a little! Not even a teensy-tiny bit, all right? Like, seriously."

He's lying.

This isn't even headcanon stuff, this is just common knowledge.

Also common knowledge: he will insist on proving how cool and brave he is by watching a horror movie with you and protecting you from the monsters and gore onscrEEAAAUUUUGH???!!!

He wasn't scared, he was just startled.

And he's only up here on the lights fixture because he remembered one bulb was flickering earlier. There. He fixed it. He's just being responsible.

Anyway, if you're nervous and want to hold his hand, he understands. Humans are fragile as hell.

In fact, you don't need to stop at hand-holding. You can just hug hiMYEEAAGH!!!!

He's hugging you instead. He's being a good demon and taking care of his human.

Yes, he's in your lap. He thought you'd feel more secure that way.

Stop laughing!

Leviathan

"So I read that the film set for this movie was cursed by a mangaka who never got credit as an influence for the story..."

Time for some J-horror, obviously.

He read up extensively on the production before asking you to watch it with him. He figures he'll be less terrified if he has plenty of background knowledge about the film as an artistic piece to remind him that the happenings onscreen aren't real.

Instead he found a bunch of rumors about how the movie was cursed. But he'd already poured so much of his valuable time into researching it. Sunk cost fallacy: activated! You're watching this damn movie.

He's scared. He's so embarrassed to be this scared but he's scared.

When he's by himself, he doesn't mind that he spooks easily. He likes it. That's the fun of horror games and movies.

But with you here, he feels the pressure to be your emotional rock during the harrowing film-viewing process.

You can hold his hand. You know, if you want to. He gets it if that idea grosses you out, but he did wash his hands right before you got here, so...

If he gets too scared, the demon form comes out, and suddenly you have a scaly tail wrapped around your waist and webbed fingers clutching you.

He's sorry, it's just... It just happens sometimes, okay? Laugh it up, normie!

Actually, it feels kind of nice when you stroke his scales like that. If you really want to, you don't have to stop.

He is no longer watching the movie.

Satan

"This is an extremely unrealistic depiction of decapitation with a hacksaw."

There is nothing less scary than watching a horror movie with Satan, because his smart ass can't stop telling you about everything wrong with it.

The movie is starting. Are you nervous? He'll hold your hand. He has enough basic sense to at least get that part of the process right.

...That's not even close to how it looks when you disembowel a deer.

There's a lot more blood spatter than you'd expect when head wounds are involved. Apparently the special effects crew on this movie didn't do their due diligence.

Hmm, that's actually a pretty convincing amputation scene. Credit where credit is due.

Sorry, but he thinks that calling this one a "psychological thriller" is giving it a little too much credit.

Asmodeus

"Nooo! Ahhh, I can't take it, it's so scaryyy!"

He's not scared. Not even a little.

He's not even grossed out.

But he thinks that seeming terrified is cuter than seeming mildly amused and a little bored.

So before you start watching, he makes sure to lay down some ground rules.

If he's scared, he gets to hold your hand. If you're scared, you get to hold his hand.

If he's scared, he gets to hug you. If you're scared, you get to hug him.

If nothing scary is happening for more than five minutes, he's allowed to request a kiss. Just to keep you both from getting bored.

Why are sex scenes in slashers so awful? Even before the stabbing starts. They're just so... blah. It's disappointing every time.

Ahhh! There's the killer! He's so scared! He's going to hide his face in your neck and cling to you for dear life!

Beelzebub

"What's wrong? Why do you look so sick?"

Bro will eat nonchalantly through the most brutal and gut-wrenching scenes of gore, entirely unaffected.

And he will.

He will do that, right in front of you, and not even have the decency to understand why you have to go vomit.

He doesn't really get most horror films. But occasionally something will resonate strongly with him and he will become very quiet and potentially fairly upset for awhile.

If something reminds him too much of Lilith or her death, for example.

But even if that happens, he won't stop eating.

Belphegor

"Wake me up if something interesting starts happening."

Another one who is entirely unaffected by horror.

Nothing is more horrifying than living as himself in this fucked up world.

He's very annoyed whenever Mammon or Levi watches anything horror-related because their screaming makes it hard to sleep.

He doesn't mind if you scream though.

He can fall asleep to the sound of you screaming.

Take that however you wish.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Milgram and The Prince

(A Companion to my Rose Bride post you can read here, not necessary to read as I reestablish all the necessary points I made there here but it be nice to see another person read it) (CWs: Unhealthy Power Dynamics, Sexism, Discussions of Ownership in the context of Marriage, allusions to sexual abuse)

(Spoilers for Utena!)

So, as I discussed in the post linked above. In Revolutionary Girl Utena, There is a dichotemy between a Prince and Princess, with Princesses being (in the shortest way I can explain it) an unrealistic and unhealthy expectation for women to fit into a role that Lacks Autonomy and Power, and if they don't they get demonized and branded as a Witch, and Princes is an unrealistic and unhealthy expectation for men to have Complete Power, Autonomy and Control over Princess.

When we get into the Rose Bride we delve into the ideas of ownership, abuse and demonization, as the Rose Bride should Obey Whatever Their Betrothed Tells Them To Do. This Prince is who we are focusing on for this post.

"She looks gallant in a guy's uniform, but she looks perfect in a dress, too!"

Let's start off with Mikoto and John, as they're the best jumping off point when talking about the dynamic of the Prince and the Rose Bride.

Now, while the Rose Bride (and princesses) as a Role is very traditionally feminine and rooted in gender and well, misogyny. Mikoto actually has been heavily Associated with traditionally feminine characteristics and stereotypes. (Mikoto Interrogations)

T1Q4: Do you pay attention to fashion? A: Of course. No one would want to request something from a designer with no fashion sense, right?

T1Q10: Have you ever gotten angry at other people? A: I don't think I've gotten angry before. Isn't it kind of disgraceful to get angry?

Me, the newborn other you

In Isolation, these characteristics don't hint at anything, however when them put together, plus idea that John was "born" from Mikoto and how he even gets tied into with the rest of the girls by how he repeats his T1 Title and is the Only Guy that does so creates a interesting association with Mikoto and Femininity.

Not only that but Mikoto is Heavily Sexualized In MeMe.

A detail that's strange when even Yuno, who Wears Lingerie in Teardrop. Doesn't get sexualized in the same way Mikoto does. When Mikoto is on screen in MeMe the camera is Gazing at him. Watching him take off his shirt and bathe.

(Utena Scripts)

Anthy:  The one I'm engaged to can do as he pleases with me.

People haven noted that MeMe and Mikoto references a lot of classic horror and I'd like to mention that, not only is dying in a shower a common trope, especially in horror. It's a death that commonly happens to Women. To the point where, the TVTropes Page for Deadly Bath comments on it.

Whenever it's a killer or monster that's the cause of death, the victim is always a woman for some reason.

MeMe seems to be mainly referencing the 1960s Alfred Hitchcock film Psycho, and the most well known scene from the film is the murder of a woman in the shower.

Plus, said murderer, a character with a Very Demonized and Inaccurate Portrayal of DID, is also a transphobic stereotype who kills his mom and then dresses up as her to pretend that she's Still There.

Stepping aside the Many Issues with Psycho's Portrayal of DID and transphobia for a bit, these are More Examples of Mikoto being associated with Femininity.

But it doesn't even end there! Mikoto feels like a bystander in his own life, he's on a train going nowhere in Double. He's predicting his own fate in MeMe. He has no clue where his life is going and part of it is in the hand of someone he knows Nothing About. It's scary and terrifying and his agency is minimal and he doesn't even know who he really is at this point.

Why am I here? It must be a mistake? Take a good look at me Until you find me Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found So I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right Why, hey why, please let me out of here Please tell me it’s a mistake, that’s it’s a lie

I'd like to mention before I continue that Rypirotes actually pointed out this Exact Thing before! That Mikoto is the Damsel in Distress and John is his Heroic Knight. Or in my case, Mikoto is the Rose Bride, and John is the Prince.

Miki:  Her eyes are telling me... Miki:  that she wants to be set free. Miki:  I will protect you... Miki:  I will protect your beautiful sound, Himemiya-san!

Now the thing about the Princess/Prince dynamic in Utena is that it actually mirrors a dynamic present in Milgram, the Victim/Savior one. I mention this a bit in my Rose Bride post but I'm going to expand on it a bit more here.

We, the audience are very familiar with John positioning himself as Mikoto's savior, it's one of the first lines of Double we ever Heard.

Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”

Of course as we know Mikoto has been very Distressed about John and his presence. The loss of time and memory and control and the fear of not being the real "him" haunting him. Making him portray John in a more villainous and evil light.

John is pretty upset about this, but less because he's being portrayed as a villain (though that frustration of trying so hard and yet being feared is a part of it) and more because he feels like he Ruined Mikoto's Life in his attempts to save him.

If only I were never born, if only Why, why I’m so sorry.

Utena:  Instead, I just kept on pretending to be the Prince who could save you. Utena:  I was just being conceited about protecting you.

As we know, John's statements in Neoplasma are Unreliable, as he seemingly tries to shift all the blame of the murders to him in an effort to protect Mikoto since he was Born to Do That.

(Neoplasma)

John: That’s right. I’ll have to disappear eventually, anyway… Disappear, and take all of it with me. I… was born to protect Boku, after all.

The problem is not John wanting to protect Mikoto. It's that John in the attempt to protect Mikoto, harms him. It's not out of malice or some inherent flaw in his birth or anything like that. It's because John treats Mikoto as powerless.

John: It’s true that I was the one who wanted to destroy everything… and the weakness of Boku, who couldn’t stand up for himself all alone, might have been the origin of that. But… that’s all there is to it. Is that a sin?

While John puts Mikoto on a pedestal he also believes Mikoto to be weaker and needing protection, and no matter how True that statement may be, the way he helps Mikoto makes him feel powerless, confused and like a bystander in his own life.

Anthy:  Because I'm the Rose Bride...because I'm a doll with no heart... Anthy:  I thought that no matter what befell my body, my heart wouldn't feel the pain.

Welcome home, another day, another day with that hardly barely there of a smile You’re overdoing it, you’re already broken

John doesn't want to hurt Mikoto, he really doesn't. He just doesn't know what else he could Possibly do, he was made to take all of this on. That's what a Prince does.

Saionji:  So you want to be the prince who saves the helpless princess?

So he pushes people away, hides things from Mikoto, and so on. Because even though he doesn't really know what Mikoto wants from him, he believes this is the only way to help him. (Thank you Laniemae for drawing his paranoia in particular to my attention!)

Utena:  When you were suffering so much...when I had said we should save each other... Utena:  I'M the one who's unfair. I'm the one who's dirty. Utena:  I'm the one who betrayed you.

Hey, I just wanted to save you So why did it come to this?

Which just makes Mikoto's feelings of powerless worse and causes him confusion, worry and stress. And when that reaches a breaking point, John will need to clean up whatever mess gets left behind and the cycle starts again.

The dynamic of the Rose Bride and the Prince is one built on a Horrific Power Imbalance. You don't want to be The Rose Bride, and you don't want to be The Prince either.

"Instead of a princess to be protected, I want to become a dashing prince."

It might be strange to have Kotoko here when the Prince as an archetype both in and out of Utena is associated with men, however the thing about Kotoko is that she idealizes The Prince.

Voice:  but because of the strength of her admiration for the prince, Voice:  the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! Voice:  But is that really good for her?

Now let's get something out of the way before I start this section, Kotoko has gone On Record saying she isn't exactly attached to the concept of femininity. (Kotoko Interrogations)

T1Q10: What do you think about the word 'feminimity'? A: It's one of the means you can take. It's something you can freely choose depending on the scene, so it's not something to cling onto.

This is Perfectly Fine Actually, as is Utena wearing the boys uniform and having "masculine" interests. Every time we see Utena in girl's clothes in RGU it is when she's at her lowest point and being denied who she is.

The problem is not that they present outside of the gender binary/aren't attached to it, but that they idolize Unhealthy Ideals that Reinforce a hierarchy of power.

Anyways, as established with John, The Prince as a role is one built on having power over someone. By positioning yourself as someone's "savior" you hold power over them and, even if you don't want to, harm them as a result.

Kotoko has seen the world to be cruel and unfair and the systems in place to not be enough to keep law in order. She's frustrated by how powerless she is and acts to make the world "better."

Utena:  You don't see Himemiya as anything but the Rose Bride either, do you? Touga:  Is that wrong? Utena:  It is wrong! Utena:  Cut it out with that "Rose Bride" or "possession" nonsense.

(Task)

Kotoko: Yes. I hate evil. Hurting innocent people with violence, taking away from others, killing people… I hate all this evil behaviour! The law being unable to judge some sins, there's too many of these cases in this world. Having clearly bullied and torturing the weak, but exploiting loopholes in laws, there's so many sinners who still live in such a carefree manner!

It seems like Kotoko might have some unresolved and buried trauma here, as while Kotoko herself says she wasn't bullied. She also stated that when she was already the person she was now back when she was around Amane's age.

T1Q18: Have you ever been bullied in the past? A: No. Are people who've had such pasts the only ones who're allowed to hate evil?

20/6/18

Amane: I see…… You look scary at first impression, but I quite like the way you treat everyone equally regardless of whether they’re older or younger than you. You don’t just treat me like a child or anything like that. Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today.

1moremilgramfan's analysis on Kotoko's clothing in Harrow over here is a fantastic dissection of Kotoko's character design and this aspect of it in particular but my point is that Kotoko tries her best to look strong and powerful, even when she's in emotional distress. She must look strong and powerful and not Weak.

I wonder what that reminds me of.

Kotoko idealizes the idea of there being some quick and easy way to save the whole world. Even if it isn't her that does it in the end.

I've chosen the awaited hero

But for now, if the system in place can't do it then She Will. She will the dashing prince that saves the helpless princess. She'll be the savior of the weak.

Let’s end this! “HARROW” “HARROW” I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I sweared

But as I said, by positioning yourself as someone's Prince you begin to hold power over them and it's easy to start dehumanizing them and putting your wants and ideals above what they want. Their safety is reliant on yours after all. They can't fight back if you do something that harms them.

Utena:  That's right, I've got to protect Himemiya. Utena:  If anyone can return her to being a normal girl, it's me. Utena:  I can't let anyone else have her. Utena:  Not even my own prince.

Kotoko: From the begin I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!

And Kotoko seems to take a lot of joy and gratification in protecting people. She doesn't care as much about the victims as much as what she Gets Out of Saving them. Their wants are not as important as hers.

...Fufu... This feels so good.

Touga:  While she was engaged to you, the Code required her to obey you. Utena:  You're lying... Touga:  The Rose Bride answered the wishes of her master. Touga:  To make her an ordinary girl was merely what you wished.

By doing so, she perpetuates the cycle of violence she hated so much in the first place. You can see this in T2, by persecuting the guilty voters and physically harming them because she believes she's justified. Exerting power from them in a physical way and wanting to vote more people not forgiven so she can continue handing out righteous judgement.

Kotoko: I handed out retribution to the prisoners you chose to not forgive. Following MILGRAM’s system, I didn’t finish them off right away. You still need time to think, after all. …What’s with that face…? Aside from following your will, I’m deciding to leave the rest up to you. But… You’re too soft-hearted. I would have chosen to not forgive more prisoners. It’d be better if I were the prison guard… Well, just one thing is missing, I guess… I’ll stay put for now. I’ll wait until your next judgement is over, and then I’ll take action. Don’t worry, I’m on your side. Let’s bring judgement to the unforgivable evildoers.

These actions are harmful and dehumanizing, the victims are not people but a means to an end. It doesn't matter what Happens to them or even to Herself, as long as righteous judgement is brought upon those who "deserve it" for whatever reason she can come up with.

Kotoko idealized the idea of being a savior, and in the process, turned herself into a tool to harm.

Akio:  I've taken enough risks to buy the power to change the world. Akio:  That's how the world works-

"It's alright now. Please go on playing make-believe "Prince" in this comfortable little coffin forever."

Now, again you don't want to be the prince. as The Prince is an unachievable ideal that harms everyone and perpetuates cycles of violence.

However unlike the Rose Bride, the Prince Has More Power and Agency. Whoever is engaged to the Rose Bride has power over her. So, if your worldview can only perceive the roles of Prince and Princess, Savior and Victim, then of course you would want to be The Prince.

Let's talk Shidou Kirasaki.

Now, similar disclaimer to Amane's in the previous analysis. Since I've delving into the abuse the Prince perpetuates in a bit more detail. I am once again stating that while I Will Not discuss csa and sa in general here since we have no proof of Shidou doing that and for the sake of tact. However it will be Alluded to vaguely in the dialogue, especially since I'm focusing on the perpetrators of that abuse.

Once again, do what is good for your health and stay safe.

Now, unlike most of the princes in Utena, Shidou isn't doing this necessarily out of malice, he is not as bad as Akio Othori and I'm not going to pretend he is.

However even if his actions aren't necessarily done out of Malice it doesn't mean he doesn't benefit from it nor does it mean he doesn't harm anyone.

Now I talked a lot about Amane in my Rose Bride analysis but as I mentioned their, people are always constantly presenting themselves to Amane as "her prince," and are frustrated and upset when Amane shows that she can't be the victim they want her to be and Shidou is no exception to this.

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand? Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way.

In fact Shidou parallels her abusive parents a lot in his behavior by constantly ignoring and outright dismissing Amane's feelings and thoughts because he believes that Amane is "just a child."

20/06/13

Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead. Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

Shidou doesn't see Amane as a person, he sees her as "child" and thus has less agency than Him. He's the one who should be making decisions for her because he's an adult. Whenever she reacts in a way he doesn't like he dismisses it, she's having one of the Worst Periods of Her Life right in front of him and he's dismissing it as just throwing a tantrum, something silly and childish.

Akio:  A child like you can't appreciate my ideals.

This isn't the only person he does this to, as Es also experiences his belittling and patronizing way of treating children. (Molech)

Shidou: Ah, well… I was just thinking about how despite being a child, you’ve really done your research on this. Es: Hey. [footsteps] You trying to make fun of me, is that it?  Shidou: What? Oh, no. I wasn’t trying to do anything like that. Es: You were. Something’s been on my mind ever since the very beginning… “Es, this. Es, that.” It’s the belittling way you refer to me…  I’m the prison guard, you know that? Shidou: Oh, I’m completely aware of that. But, you’re still a child in actuality. Coming from me, who’s almost twice the age as you are, I just…  Es: What is it? Shidou: For a child like you to be entrusted with this sort of role… My heart goes out to you. 

In a way he's exerting power over the both of them through this, he's an adult, more responsible and powerful than the both of them. It's, frankly, dehumanizing.

If the Rose Bride is an object to be projected on, the Prince is the one doing the projecting.

And as explained in the Rose Bride post, coffins in Utena represent cycles and eternity and to grow you need to break out of it. Shidou is stuck in his own coffin, keeps on trying to return to a life that Doesn't Exist Anymore and when he's faced with that knowledge and the way he's harmed the people around him because of that he continues to spiral.

He wants to die but he can't do it himself so he pushes the responsibility onto someone he doesn't consider as a person.

Shidou: I feel sorry that you had to be given this role. And, I truly apologise for being so insistent about sentencing me to death as well…  But, you’re perfect. You’ll give me the ending I’m most suited for. 

He wants to make up for his mistakes as a parent and pushes that onto someone he can project onto, even though that person has made it very clear how unwelcome and even painful it is for him to do that.

Shidou: Yeah. I’ll do what I can. I can’t have a child making a face like that.

He wants to live but he can only live if someone else is in pain because that means he has a reason to continue existing.

But there are lives that need safeguarding So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable

Shidou has fully admitted that he thinks his crime is a selfish one, he did it for himself. No matter How or Why he killed, we know he didn't value the people he killed that much.

“Throw down”, someone’s value Cannot be the same as another

You're in my way, hurry up and die.

The value comes from what they give to him, and in the end, their death was much more valuable to him than their life.

"The One Who Will Revolutionize the World"

Frankly, it's kinda pathetic to be a Prince.

It's is a coffin that one can stay in forever if they don't do anything. Something that harms you and everyone else...mostly everyone else. It's a role that brings about stagnation and immaturity. You can never revolutionize the world by being a Prince, all your doing is just perpetuating a cycle of harm.

Maybe Kotoko and Shidou will stay in their coffins, who knows really with them. They don't seem particularly in a hurry to get out, they don't even seem to notice their trapped in the first place.

Mikoto though...well...John really does want to understand, and Mikoto really does want to know what's happening.

And maybe that's enough.

Anthy:  But, you're a... Utena:  I came here to meet you. Utena:  So don't be afraid of this world where we'll meet. Utena:  ...Himemiya...Himemiya...Himemiya! Utena:  Himemiya! Anthy:  Utena...sama...? Utena:  Himemiya...we finally...meet.

END NOTES: I don't usually put these but since I plan to make this two part series one post minus the utena I might as well talk a bit.

I end this and the Rose Bride one so sappily but that's mostly cause I always need to remind myself after writing these that it's a Breakable Cycle. You write 2k+ words about characters being trapped in coffins and it Gets To You.

I'm so sorry to Fuuta for leaving him out of this...Mikoto and Kotoko kinda took your place...I know your literally a hero in your MV but I could not find a way to put you here without bloating it too much.

Funnily enough while the Rose Bride post had a lot to talk about The Prince is weirdly easy to summarize, the longest part here is when I talk about the themes of the Rose Bride and how that intersects with Mikoto. Though maybe that's just me. Another reason to write the compilation I guess.

I Swear there was more quotes about children and adults in Utena- I suppose it's a lot of its themes on adulthood are communicated visually and/or involve sex so like...yknow. Plus I'd have to explain the cars and it would take me all my effort to not put the Shiori car quote.

[incomprehensiblelentils]

@purlturtle tagged me in this, thank you! <3

15 Questions for 15 Friends

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Not my first name, but my mom got my middle name (Melissa) from a coworker she really admired.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Ooh...I think it was a couple weeks ago while I was watching the Fantasy High episode where they find the corpses of *SPOILERS* and Kristen does a ritual to free their spirits. I just found that scene very beautiful and touching.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nope! I'm very excited to be a gay auntie to any of my friends' future kids. And B and I have our dolls (see @saintalectoshomeforwaywardgirls).

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I rode horses from ages 8-16 (had to stop bc school got too overwhelming). I toy with the idea of getting back into it as an adult sometimes, because I do miss it.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

I don't know the meaning of the word. (I know this joke doesn't really work but I couldn't resist)

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

This is a weirdly difficult question - I am hilariously non-observant at times and have had to ask more people than I should if they recently got their hair cut/styled differently. I guess maybe their way of speaking? Not necessarily accent but the cadence and pitch of their voice. Physically I guess it's just their general bulk and/or the way they take up space in the world.

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR?

Light brown.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Depends on my mood honestly! I am dipping my toe into horror films (I generally prefer audio dramas or books/short stories) but sometimes I want a good creepy time. I think generally I will go for happy endings most of the time, but I like horror as a container for my anxiety to go into.

ANY TALENTS?

Writing, I'd like to think! I'm also reasonably good at drawing (mostly animals) and I'm a speedreader. Nothing that's any good for a talent show unfortunately.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

In a suburb of Seattle, which happens to have a tiny airport they use to fly in celebrities who come in for the local ComiCon (which is very embarrassing, because that means like, Gwendoline Christie has seen a lot of my shitty hometown).

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Cosplay, general fandom bullshit (affectionate), reading, writing, and I think my Warrior cats spreadsheets count as a hobby by themselves at this point lmao.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Not yet - we'd like to get cats but shit keeps happening to put it off lol. We love our friends' and parents' animals though!

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5'3", which I recently found out - I have been saying I'm 5'2" for like a decade and this revelation was kind of destabilizing.

FAVOURITE SUBJECT?

English/Writing.

DREAM JOB?

I think I should be one of the guys making up shitty puns for children's valentines, because I'm way better at coming up with them than the stuff I see every year in stores.

Tagging @toriasimmons @swiftzeldas @jenny-dreadful @emmaswanned @theomenroom @dannypinot @amidalleia @zenithofdork @ben-g99 @areax @dollsome-does-tumblr @mrdistracted @nerdfaerie @afterword @thydungeongal only if you wanna! (also if you see this and you wanna do it count yourself tagged!)

Also stealing purlturtle's genius idea to include this at the end of the post - a version for easy copy-pasting!

15 Questions for 15 Friends ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? DO YOU HAVE KIDS? WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED? DO YOU USE SARCASM? WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR? SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? ANY TALENTS? WHERE WERE YOU BORN? WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? HOW TALL ARE YOU? FAVOURITE SUBJECT? DREAM JOB?

[world0fmadness]

Hey, you seem like you’re into horror. Do you have a favourite horror movie, any suggestions on what to watch? Hope you’re having a great day!

Ps. Love the last hc about camping, Nocturno really deserves more love in this community :))

-🐀

୨୧ hey there, my sweet little rat anon! i’m having a very decent day and i hope you are too, if not then i send many hugs and kisses

indeed, i am very much into horror lolol! been into it just about as long as i have been extreme metal music, just a little earlier… oh what an amazing question to ask during the spookiest month of the year and so close to halloween! trying to get some scary movies figured out for the rest of the month? nothing feels better than watching a horror during halloween… it would simply be too hard for me to pick a singular favourite but i can name a couple off the top of my head for you

some of these kind of teeter on the edge of thriller more than horror but some favourites would be ;

house of wax, 2005 ( perhaps this will be a hot take but as someone who owns both the original movie and the remake, i actually preferred the remake! i think it was just so different and creative in the best way possible, it was not just a lazy cash grab remake of an old film, they really put their own spin on it and changed things up for what i think was the better! the set design for this movie is absolutely gorgeous and i believe the short documentary or behind the scenes footage is available to watch for free on youtube but i have it on dvd myself! paris hilton is in this movie and surprisingly does a decent job at acting her role, she did very well and fit her assigned character )

house of 1000 corpses, 2003 ( listen, i do not think this is the best horror movie in the world and i would never claim it to be that but it just has a very special place in my heart because it hits points of everything i enjoy in a movie! the acting, in my own opinion, is very good, the plot is so strange but not too much of a complete mind fuck to where it is just not enjoyable to watch anymore, it has some comedy that works well and is not just randomly thrown in there and ohhh the soundtrack, my beloved soundtrack! just a killer halloween movie, especially since it actually takes place during halloween )

black christmas, 1974 ( there really is not much i can say about this one without rambling for hours! just a classic, must watch horror! it’s an annual christmas and halloween movie for me! it used to keep me up some nights when staying at my grandparents house due to the type of house they had being similar to the house in the movie unlike my own )

the crow, 1994 ( another general classic movie that to me, is a must watch for the dark and gothic romantics out there! such a beautiful movie with and even better soundtrack for those who enjoy industrial metal and all )

rec, 2007 ( so damn freaky, knocks the blair witch project out of the water when it comes to found footage horror films! the screaming and yelling all just sounds so genuine and loud, the acting from the main cast is just so incredible in my opinion )

the descent, 2005 ( as someone who loves horror movies that slowly turn into so much more than they seem on the surface… wowee did this one catch me so off guard! the feelings of claustrophobia this film fills you with, the feelings of panic and tension is just amazing )

the dark crystal, 1982 ( i class this as a horror because the strange vulture creatures scared the living shit out of me when i first watched it as a child and i always watch this movie during october but now, i see how truly gorgeous this movie is despite still being a little disturbing to me at times )

the texas chainsaw massacre, 1974

elvira: mistress of the dark, 1988

the satanic rites of dracula, 1973

the evil dead, 1981

the birds, 1963

psycho, 1960

carrie, 1976

and some that are not quite favourites but i still think are definitely worth mentioning as recommendations ;

silent hill, 2006 ( i have my issues with this movie and i absolutely hate how the snow not ash lore plagued the community for so long and still does but i would be lying if i said i did not find it to be an enjoyable movie! i do absolutely love the atmosphere and the costume design, not to mention that the plot is not all that bad at all! definitely worth a watch, especially if you would like to get into silent hill but maybe do not enjoy playing games and simply prefer movies )

the texas chainsaw massacre 2, 1986 ( obviously nowhere near as spooky and scary and grisly as the first, classic movie but that is the whole point! the tonal shift is just amazing in my opinion and the comedy is just so… so obviously eighties in the best ways possible! a must watch comedy horror for me, so goofy and weird yet so lovable )

elephant, 2003 ( not so much a horror at all, more a thriller but i will mention this movie whenever i can because it is just so eery and so incredibly disturbing despite not being a horror, despite not having creatures that look like they come from the deepest pits of hell, despite the only cast and characters being our own human selves )

tokyo gore police, 2008 ( another less than perfect movie but to me, it is just such a joy to watch with all of the weirdness and wackiness it holds )

creepshow, 1982, creepshow 2, 1987

the lovely bones, 2009

bride of chucky, 1998

murder weapon, 1989

the collector, 2009

the lost boys, 1987

laid to rest, 2009

cat people, 1942

may, 2002

again, these are just quick and off the top of my head so i am definitely missing a few notable ones, does not help that i’m a little sleepy at the minute but hopefully these are some decent enough recommendations for you! have fun watching ^w^

and thank you very much! super glad to hear how many people really liked them when i was so worried about them not being the best hehe…

yeahhh, he absolutely does! he was and still is a total cutie, so so so handsome and so obviously a complete sweetheart! though to be honest, i feel like there are just so many under-appreciated and under-loved people in the black metal scene! there are so many people who deserve so much love and appreciate, much more than they get…

thanks again for this ask, rat anon! you guys don’t know how happy it makes me to answer any and all of your questions <3

[castlebyersafterdark]

there seems to be a lot of talk about will byers x vines lately. some people called it 'vine play' and while im all for the horror coming on strong for our boi narratively, this had undertones of people enjoying the vines sexually lol. i KNOW that UD-adjacent ephemera can be read as metaphorical of CSA and by extension people read sexual choking kinks into the story, but considering how some people reacted to vecna (total desire, no acknowledgement of his evil antics), sometimes i wonder if there are people translating literally every serious element of the show into something a bit sexy and im like... what's left to scare you with lol? if being choked to death with vines is hot then what exactly about the season is going to raise the stakes and make you feel the peril etc etc

or perhaps its simply that meme online culture removes lots of immersiveness in shows these days. my sister actively asked me to send her voldemort-style memes of vecna in order to make him seem less scary, i was like GIRL i was desperate for the opposite effect when the show dropped lol

So much to unpack with this. I think firstly, things can be scary and sexy at the same time. This to me has always been a lot of the fun in horror and how horror and stuff of that nature cans serve both as a way to tap into fear and tap into fantasies, which can sometimes be scary themselves. There's always a lot of chatter about the intersection of trauma and kink and that's for sure a part of it. Or, you also don't need trauma to have a kink. And more or, it doesn't even have to be a kink - some concepts are just interesting and maybe not much does scare you just going into a show like this but you enjoy it and you take away a different element.

I don't really see a problem viewing what's happening in the story/on screen both as a sense of high stakes fear for what's going on while also in the back of your head simultaneously thinking 'he looks good with something wrapped around his throat as he chokes and strains under the vines.' It can be both!! We can totally acknowledge that.

I like Stranger Things so much because it serves multipurpose fictional interests - horror movie vibes, complicated mysteries, themes of friendship, the nostalgia setting, and romance / a coming of age sexuality story. So much to love, ticks multiple boxes for me. So, I can watch a scene and fear for Will and think Henry is terrifying but also want to see him wrap those vines tighter and watch as Will struggles and cries and looks pretty while doing so. And when you engage in the parts of fandom where the dark elements are dived into, it's a safe place to explore those dark elements if you so have an interest in the intersection of sex and kink and trauma and taboo and fears and horror. Whatever ingredients you want to add to your fandom corner smoothie. All valid!

And there are always going to be people who just care about the villain (and yes Henry/Vecna is the villain, why deny that? Some do) and erase the bad elements. That's the nature of fandom. And also, there's a lot of people who just... don't take anything seriously. Either they're jaded and need to appear unaffected and aloof from the media they interact with or need things to be catered to their agenda. I have friends who are super cool and they want to be included in things and say they have no problem with horror movies but when my squad gets together to watch fucked up films they make a fuss, want the lights on, try to joke throughout it like girl, can you be quiet and sit there or skip out on movie night if it's not actually your thing? The point is to be scared or horrified, it's a horror movie. So sometimes when people want nothing to do with the creepier aspects of Stranger Things I'm like, why engage??? Just my opinion.

[pizza-games-and-more]

Pizza Tower headcanons: Fear

Lets see what the main cast of Pizza Tower is afraid of, hehehe...

Peppino - What's Peppino afraid of? What ISN'T Peppino afraid of?! There's your shorter answer! This grown ass man gets scared away from sleeping from an owl sitting by the window at night. This man developed delusions of fake war PTSD because he accidentally watched a violent war film as a kid one time. He has many, many fears and they all get ridiculous to the point nobody knows whether it's funny or disturbing.

Gustavo - Despite growing up in the forest, Gustavo is afraid of creepy crawlies. Especially caterpillars. He'd never admit this, but he developed that specific fear after he accidentally baked a caterpillar into a pizza and only discovered it after he took a bite out of it.

Mr. Stick - Ever since an embarrassing incident in school, Mr. Stick has had this odd paranoia about being naked in public. To help with this, he specifically wears clothes that leave no risk of accidental slippage or exposure.

Pepperman - Pepperman does NOT like birds. And he doesn't know if the feeling is mutual or if they REALLY like him, as he seems to keep finding himself being chased by them. So really, it's no wonder he hates birds so much.

The Vigilante - He has probably the most understandable fear if you know why: Water. Too much water is not good for Cheeseslimes. Staying in the rain too long will make him melt. Going into a pool would kill him unless he gets fished out quickly. Interestingly, he's notably more freaked out than even other Cheeseslimes, though.

The Noise - This guy refuses to go to any horror movie night or campfire storytelling because of his biggest fear: Ghosts. It all began when he got his first camera and caught a glimpse of a mysterious shadow on film. The Vigilante (who knows ghosts aren't all that bad) has been trying to bring him to the New Western District to help him conquer his fear, but he adamantly refuses to go.

Noisette - She's always hated going to circuses, though not because of the clowns. Because since this is an exaggerated cartooonish world where ethics don't really matter, circus animals are still widely accepted and she's terrified of large animals. And no, she won't tell us why. We're not even sure if she knows why herself.

Fake Peppino - Poor Fake Peppino hasn't had good experience with cats. They're more afraid of him than he is of them, but unfortunately they respond to their fear by attacking the poor confused Peppino clone, making him afraid of them in turn.

Brick and Pizzahead both fear nothing. In Brick's case, he's too stupid to tell if something's supposed to be scary, and in Pizzahead's case, he's incapable of taking anything seriously.

[eggmixercortex]

the thing about skinamarink is that people tend to say that it would have been better as a shorter film - particularly people who hated it - and while i understand where that idea is coming from i actually disagree.

(long as hell)

people who disliked skinamarink for the most part cite the long, "empty" shots between relatively little/mediocre action as the reason that the film didn't work for them. and i actually agree with that last bit, i think that the scares in skinamarink are kind of badly done*. they're just the sudden movement + loud noise combo, if they were standalone they would suck. and the first point isn't technically wrong either! i would bet like 50-60% of skinamarink is just still shots of dark hallways with film grain. and i'm going to make it clear that i have no problem with people who see the film this way. if you hated skinamarink that's perfectly fine and you aren't 'missing something' that could magically make you like it.

however, I do think that making skinamarink shorter would actually DECREASE the quality of the film. Heck, the short film that kickstarted the creation of skinamarink, is about 1/3 the length, and about 0% as scary. is it well made? absolutely. is it interesting and worth the watch? very much so. but scary? not in the damn slightest. and that's why the length of the full film is important, because when the action of the film is condensed it removes the truly unique thing about Kyle Edward Ball's style as seen in the bitesized nightmares and Skinamarink.

i'm a pervert for this type of film so i am of course highly biased but the thing that skinamarink does is kind of like the allegory of the cave. in the allegory of the film you the audience are expected to be affected by the suggestion of the film rather than its direct contents, in a really extreme fashion. this is a relatively unique way to present a film, and i personally think Ball is really very good at building a successful atmosphere for this type of device, and i hope that he makes more films like this in the future. BUT the issue of course is that because it relies so heavily on the audience being able to essentially scare themselves, if you the viewer can't do that, skinamarink immediately falls flat on its face. if you look at each action scene in isolation it becomes fairly obvious that they're all... a little silly. the formula is pretty much just ack! something is weird! and suddenly it jumped at the camera! excepting the ending which is 3x speed settings of the same thing. and that's fine, but not showstopping or anything.

most horror that utilizes 'jump-scares' tries to build up to it of course, but skinamarink almost literally gives you nothing to work with except for the knowledge that something is going to happen... eventually. and for me that worked really really well! i was literally frozen in fear! it took me around 10 minutes to be eaten alive by the damn film! but for someone who that doesn't work on, its not going to work at all. the film will genuinely be boring and the audience member who walks out or says that is was a dud isn't actually missing anything - skinamarink is just a film that relies so heavily on its one aspect that the rest of it crumbles if that doesn't land.

skinamarink was made (intentionally or not) to appeal to a very, very specific type of audience, and pretty much ignores anyone else. if skinamarink were more like Heck it would definitely appeal to more people, but also would have been a significantly less interesting film. this is also why i get a little annoyed at people who act like skinamarink fans are 'snobs' or that people who didn't like it are 'missing something' because it isn't actually a particularly artsy film in story. reading an essay about the themes isn't going to make the film experience scarier (but would be a fun read, mostly) its just that the film works best with people who can scare themselves out of going to the bathroom at night.

genuinely, if you watch 20 or so minutes of skinamarink and you aren't enjoying it, leave. it won't get better** and it's not worth wasting your time on an experience you really won't enjoy just because you feel like you have to. if it sucks hit the bricks man

(i would love to re-watch with a staunch skinamarink hater so we can discuss the different pieces of it tbh... there's so much to talk about in the structure here)

i adore the empty skinamarink shots because they demand you fill them yourself with only the little paper towel ghost they gave you to work with it's awesome. but also sometimes you would prefer the movie give you at least a bedsheet lawn ghost instead.

*the action moments are some of my least favourite scenes, and i genuinely think that the toy phone moment could have been removed entirely. it's not good...

**again, not saying its bad to dislike skinamarink! it also might improve for you but like. don't let people force you to sit thru paint drying for 16 hours part two just bc it could get good later

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review: I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

Rated PG-13 for violent content, some sexual material, thematic elements and teen smoking

<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2024/06/review-i-saw-tv-glow-2024.html>

Score: 4 out of 5

I Saw the TV Glow is a movie that's probably gonna stick with me for a while. Even as somebody who didn't necessarily have the queer lens that writer/director Jane Schoenbrun brought to the film, it still hit me like a sack of bricks, a fusion of nostalgia for the kids' and teen horror shows of the '90s, a deconstruction of that nostalgia and of our relationship with the media we love, a coming-of-age tale about not fitting in and living in a miserable world, and modern creepypasta and analog horror influences, all building to an ending where the anticlimactic note it wrapped up on wound up serving as a very grim and appropriate coda suggesting that nothing good will happen after. It's a film where I was able to put together the pieces of the story and figure out where it was headed after a certain point, but the journey was a lot more important than the destination here, serving up a moody, weird tale that felt like something pulled out of both my childhood and my adulthood in equal measure. If you're expecting a simple horror tale with big frights and easy answers, this will probably leave you scratching your head at the end, but if you want a movie with a smart and wrenching plot, compelling characters, and a hell of a sense of style that's quietly chilling without really being in-your-face scary, this is one you probably won't soon forget.

The film starts out in the late '90s in an anonymous middle-class suburb that, while it was never explicitly stated where it's supposed to be, I figured out was New Jersey right away even before the credits rolled and I saw that, sure enough, this was filmed in Verona and Cedar Grove, such was the familiarity of the scenery from my own childhood. Our protagonists Owen and Maddy are a pair of awkward teenagers who slowly bond over their shared fandom of The Pink Opaque, a kids' horror series that airs on the Young Adult Network (a fairly obvious pastiche of Nickelodeon) and is inspired by shows like Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The protagonists of The Pink Opaque, Isabel and Tara, are a pair of teenage girls who developed a psychic connection at summer camp that they use to fight various monsters, as well as an overarching villain named Mr. Melancholy. For Maddy, the show is an escape from her abusive home life, while for Owen, it's a guilty pleasure that he has to watch by way of Maddy taping it every Saturday night at 10:30 and giving him the tape the following week, as not only does it air past his bedtime but his father looks askance at it for being a "girly" show. Things start to get weird once the show is canceled on a cliffhanger at the end of its fifth season -- and shortly after, Maddy mysteriously disappears, leaving only a burning TV set in her backyard.

I can't say anything more about the plot without spoilers other than the broadest strokes. On the surface, a lot of the story that transpires here, that of a creepy kids' show that may be more than it seems, is reminiscent of Candle Cove, only drawing less of its inspiration from '70s local television than from '90s Nickelodeon, Fox Kids, and The WB. But while Candle Cove was a brisk, one-off campfire tale that you can probably read in five to ten minutes (which you should, by the way), this is something with a lot more on its mind. It's a film about a life wasted, one where the real horror is psychological and emotional as Owen realizes that he's trapped in a life he shouldn't be trapped in, and it would not have worked without Justice Smith's performance as the film's central dramatic anchor. From everything I've seen him in, Smith is a guy who specializes in playing awkward nerds like Jesse Eisenberg or Michael Cera, and here, he takes that in a distinctly Lynchian direction as somebody who can't shake the feeling that he's living a lie but is either unable or unwilling to say precisely what it is. After the first act, this becomes a film about a man who's spinning his wheels in life, and not even checking off the boxes expected of a man like him to be considered "successful" seems to solve it. He narrates the film at various points, and as it goes on, it becomes hard not to wonder if even he believes what he's saying. Watching him, I saw traces of myself living in Florida until last year, spinning my own wheels in either school, menial jobs, or just sitting at home doing nothing. He's somebody whose arc struck close to home, and I imagine that, even if one discounts the fairly overt "closeted trans person" metaphors his character is wrapped in, a lot of viewers will probably get bigger chills seeing themselves in him than they will from the sight of Mr. Melancholy. Brigette Lundy-Paine, meanwhile, plays Maddie as either the one person who understands what's going on or somebody who's let her devotion to an old TV show completely consume her and drive her to madness, and while I won't say what direction the film leans in, I will say that it was still a highly compelling performance that forced me to question everything I witnessed on screen.

And beyond just the events of the story, the biggest thing the film had me questioning was nostalgia. In many ways, this is a movie about our relationship with the past, especially the things we loved as children. In many ways, it can be ridiculous the attachment we have to childhood ephemera, holding up old shows, books, movies, and games as masterpieces of storytelling only to go back to them years later and realize that they do not hold up outside of our memories of better times. It fully gets the appeal of wanting to pretend otherwise, but it is also honest about the fact that a lot of stuff we adored as kids was pretty bad. There are several scenes in this movie that show us scenes from The Pink Opaque, and Schoenbrun faithfully recreated the low-budget, 4:3 standard-definition TV look of many of those shows -- warts and all, as Owen realizes later in the film when we see one of the cheesiest things I've ever seen passed off as children's entertainment. There are many ways to read the story here and how it plays out, but one thing at its core that is unmistakable is that nostalgia is a liar.

It doesn't hurt, either, that this is a beautiful film to watch. It may be about how the main reason we're nostalgic for the past is because they were simpler times when we had lower standards, but Schoenbrun still makes the late '90s and '00s look magical, even if it comes paired with a sort of bleakness in the atmosphere that never lets up. The constant feeling of overcast moodiness is not only visually gripping, it serves the film's themes remarkably well, creating the feeling that, even during the protagonists' wondrous childhoods, there's something lurking just out of frame that isn't right and is going to make their lives miserable. The monster design, much of it first seen on The Pink Opaque, was an odd mix of cheesy and genuinely creepy that not only served as a loving homage to the '90s kids'/teen horror shows that this movie was referencing, but still managed to work in the story, especially once shit gets real and those dumb-looking monsters suddenly become the scariest damn things your 12-year-old self ever watched. There aren't a lot of big jump scares here; rather, this is a movie powered by themes and performances, with Maddy's third-act speech in particular suddenly having me take another look at shows like Buffy and Angel that I grew up with in a completely different light. (Damn it, why did Lost have to be so mind-screwy and reality-fiddling that I could suddenly draw all manner of disquieting conclusions about it?)

The Bottom Line

I Saw the TV Glow isn't for everyone, but it's still a highly potent tale of nostalgia and growing up that wears its affection for its inspirations on its sleeve and has a very solid, engaging, and chilling core to it. Whether you're a child of the '90s and '00s, non-heteronormative, or simply in the mood for an offbeat teen horror movie, this is one to check out, and one I'll probably be thinking about for a long time.

[far-too-many-posts-for-my-taste]

Anybody Home? (review)

General content warning: this is a review of a horror novel designed to be pretty disturbing. I'm not going into intense specifics but if you're sensitive to that type of thing, please scroll on by!

I picked up Anybody Home? by Michael Seidlinger on a bit of a whim after seeing a few book review influencers on YouTube recommend it and noticing the cover looked pretty scary, and well, that's a dicey method for finding new reads at the best of times.

The book's conceit is that a veteran home invader and torture-murderer is coaching a first-time killer through a job. A chilling enough premise, and one I thought might lend itself to some good creeping dread, or at least have an interesting villain protagonist. The narration is mostly in second person, and the 'you' is rather poorly defined (actually, everyone in this book is poorly defined).

I think that premise could have become a really effective horror novel, but the book is less interested in providing scares than providing commentary--there's a whole framework where the home invaders are not only planning these crimes, but also filming them and rendering them unto "the cults" for possible cinematic adaptation. It gets very metafictional very fast, and reads less like a veteran killer giving advice to a mentee than it does like an extended ramble on how to make a horror movie, and all the characters' pre-planning of the horrible job seems more like advice on how to forestall audience criticism.

All that might have worked if the book had a bit more to say, really, but it repeats itself so much and conveys so little. I was thoroughly unsurprised to see in the 'about the author' that Seidlinger wrote a whole book on House of Leaves, since Anybody Home? is clearly taking inspiration from that book and its metafictional complexity, but this work has none of the specificity that makes House of Leaves seem like an actual artifact, and none of its thematic depth.

The victims in the story are never named, and are clearly meant to be archetypal, but they come across as such bland suburban-malaise stereotypes that it's difficult to shake the feeling the narrative is just moving stand-in numbers around, to be filled in with actual characters later. This is almost certainly the point, given that what we're reading is essentially a storyboard for a horror movie, but it makes for a really dull reading experience.

A few sections have a bit more interest--the description of the future invaders casing the home really does inspire a fair amount of dread, and the narrative finally delves into specificity when discussing the layout of the house and the sabotages planned. There's also glimpses of a more interesting story when some of the invaders turn against one another, but nothing really comes of that.

A few other nitpicks that annoyed me--the not-quite right explanation of what creepypasta is, the reference to the teenage son reading porn magazines (in 2023? please, the kid has a phone and a laptop), the assurance that teenagers have been desensitized by video games.

Not recommended, unless I guess you really really loved the movie Cabin in the Woods and you think a second-person version of a story with extremely similar themes sounds too intriguing to pass up.

[lightningarmour]

Last Voyage of the Demeter(spoilers)

This was a movie I was really excited about because I really love the premise for it. Like many people on tumblr I experienced Dracula by Bram Stoker for the first time through the viral phenomenon of "Dracula Daily" so I don't have any kind of long love of the book or any particularly deep, personal feelings towards it or anything, but when I first heard about Last Voyage of the Demeter I thought it was a tremendous idea for a movie, and a pretty interesting and novel approach to a vampire story, generally and a very neat idea to take such a zoomed in look at the events of Dracula.

The way the Log of the Demeter is told in the book is obviously a classic example of a horror story. It's like how in every survival horror game you find some journal entry or email or whatever of someone saying "Has anyone else heard the strange noises coming from the vents? oh well, hope it's nothing!" in a room where there's a streak of blood running down the wall from a torn open air duct. You are being given piece by piece the terror and dread of a crew of sailors you already know are doomed to a horrendous death, seeing little by little how the horrors unfold, knowing they can't stop it, and it's all made the more tragic that they (or at least the captain) never know what it is that is doing this to them.

It's prime territory for a slow burn kind of psychological horror movie, where the mystery slowly unfolds and as more and more of the crew go missing, the tensions amongst those remaining grows and they start to turn on each other and yadda yadda.

While overall, The Last Voyage of the Demeter is a fine movie, it's certainly not the movie I went in expecting. I understand, of course, that adapting a single chapter, written basically in point-form, into a feature length film would require not an insignificant amount of padding. I think, though that this movie ended up a bit overstuffed.

It's an aggressively average film, ultimately. I have no real complaints about the technical aspects. It's shot well, all of the sets and costumes and such look good, the soundtrack really pops, and frankly I think almost all of the performances were really quite good. The problem, broadly is the very banal kind of Hollywoodification of the story. The movie I envisioned this being is definitely in the script somewhere, but the edges get sanded off in rewrites, they want the movie to be more marketable, and gradually it becomes a middling action thriller. Still competently made, but not scary enough to really be a horror movie, or suspenseful enough to really keep you engaged with what's left.

It exists, in my mind, in a similar space as the 2017 adaptation of Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express. Both period piece movies about mysterious deaths, but neither really feel confident enough in themselves to just be a mystery or a horror movie, so they try and punch it up a bit and throw in some action and spend a lot of time getting to know a colourful cast of characters who ultimately don't matter that much, and it all results in a kind of genre mush where the stakes never feel particularly important and I find myself nitpicking details rather than enjoying the story.

Much of the bloat this movie suffers from comes in the form of 3 characters. The protagonist of the film, Mr. Clemens, Anna the exposition machine, and Toby the precious baby boy who exists solely to inject an emotional hook into the story. I don't want to sound like a reactionary and complain about "wokeness" in movies because that's not a real thing, but it's probably going to sound like I am. From a marketing perspective, a film studio does not feel confident in having a non-franchise, niche-interest kind of movie with a cast of solely white men. Not that this particular movie would even necessarily have to be full of white people. The Demeter is specified as being a russian ship, and there was mention of russian and romanian crewmen but boats were crewed by all kinds of men so it's a simple liberty to take in making the crew multi-ethnic. It could have worked quite well if it were more of an ensemble cast, rather than having a specific protagonist. So much time is spent on Clemens that it makes the rest of the crew feel incredibly dull and one dimensional.

One reason I think in similar ways about this and Murder on the Orient Express is that both suffer from a very modern Hollywood trend of inserting a lot of very liberal values into movies set in the past in a way that does nothing to try and like, sincerely address the issues of sex, race, class, etc. discrimination and prejudice that existed in the time periods they are set in, but honestly as a way to kind of coddle the audience and assure them that while people may have been racist in the past, we, the studio and filmmakers, and whoever do not agree with such prejudices, and everyone can rest easy after seeing the film and not have to feel uncomfortable about any of that.

So Clemens is presented to us as a Doctor who is eager to return to England, and as we find out later, he was the second black man to ever graduate Oxford or wherever with a medical degree, but he couldn't find work anywhere because he's black. This information serves no real purpose to the story, nor to really understanding who he is as a person or anything. He plays the Agent Scully of the movie. It's sort of like he's there to dispel any mystery or suspense the movie might otherwise have. instead of a bunch of superstitious sailors succumbing to fear, Clemens is there to smartly tell them that their instincts are irrational and whatever. The result is that the movie follows all the same tropes and trappings of it's genre but in a way that is deflated by a guy constantly pointing out said tropes while not being genre savvy enough to prevent all of it from occurring.

Anna is in the movie explicitly to explain to the audience who the character of Dracula is, for those who might have missed the last 150 years of vampire fiction. She's introduced as having been stuffed in one of Dracula's boxes of dirt as a little snack for him on his boat ride. She' unconscious for a third of the movie but once she wakes up she just very directly tells everyone that there's an evil demon on board named Dracula and he's going to eat us all. I really hate her inclusion in the film because similar to Clemens, she exists to drain any suspense or mystery out of the story. There's no longer any fear of the unknown because she tells them exactly what's happening. Yet despite this, it still takes them like 3 days to finally get the bright idea to open up the crates in the cargo hold to see if maybe that's where Dracula is hiding. Again it's doing this almost meta narrative thing where now the characters realize what story they're in, but because that story already has a predetermined end, they can't actually use this knowledge to their advantage, the tropes still play out the same anyway.

I don't want to use the term mary sue to describe her but her and Clemens both have Protagonist power. They're seemingly the only ones on this boat who are smart and capable enough to get anything done, and they do quite explicitly just give Anna super powers. She's been fed on by Dracula so she has a special connection that lets her sense his presence and blah blah whatever. It's all very gimmicky, especially for a character we know is not going to survive and has no greater impact on the story of Dracula.

Toby is the grandson of the Demeter's Captain. He's like an eight year old boy or something and I kind of hate him. He's an utterly nothing character who serves no narrative purpose. At some point when going over the script they realized that there's no reason to really give a shit about any of the characters in the movie because pretty much none of them have any depth, and they figured the audience wouldn't be engaged. So they put a kid in it so that people would feel sad at least once during the movie.

There's honestly nothing to the kid. He's like unbelievably plucky and happy-go-lucky, to the point where I think the actor's performance is undermined by how exaggerated his boyishness is played up, but aside from just being happy and cute or whatever there's nothing to him. Again you're supposed to instinctively feel protective for him because he's a child, and then inevitably when he gets his shit sucked by Dracula, it's supposed to be the like, one tragic part of the whole movie, but it's just hollow. And whats more is that any sense of sadness or loss you get from precious little Toby's death is wrung out because they have a fucking scene where they're going to dump his corpse in the ocean but the Captain is like "No wait, he's still alive!" and you get a really shitty jump scare moment where the kid opens his eyes but now he's a vampire and then he immediately goes up in flames in the sunlight and I laughed out loud in the theatre because it was so fucking stupid.

The new characters are just too out of place because they all feel like hollywood blockbuster protagonists haphazardly tacked onto an otherwise kind of low-key horror story, and I think that the movie would have worked much better if you kept the Captain as the focal character. In the movie he's present but kind of as a side character which feels odd. It also really robs him of his agency. The final log entry in the book has him resolutely sacrificing himself for the sake of his ship and his diligent commitment to his duty as the Captain, so he ties his hands to the wheel, ensuring that he will never be derelict even if it means his death, whereas in the movie it's fucking Dracula who ties him to the wheel as a weird flex, but he's dead before the climax so that the characters invented for the movie can have an epic action movie showdown with Dracula.

And given that the whole dang thing roots itself so adamantly as being part of the greater story of Dracula, it then kind of results as this very silly contrivance where all the stuff about a man eating creature, a dude literally bursting into flames, a woman who explicitly told them about Count Dracula being a horrible demon, just gets conveniently left out of the Captain's log.

I feel like there were some more nitpicks and quibbles I had about the movie but none of it is particularly important. Again, as much as I've just spent like 2000 words whining about it, overall I didn't really hate the movie. It's fine! It was a decent enough movie to go see, even if I left feeling a bit disappointed. I'm having strong feelings towards it because it's one of those movies that is worse than just being shitty. A just awful bad movie can be dismissed outright and I could just say yeah it sucks ass. But this one is so close to being good. There's a lot I did like about it, but it's off by such a small margin that all the things keeping it from being really great feel much more pronounced.

Also I kind of love that Clemens just survives and I guess becomes a Dracula hunter? They should have done a post-credits scene where he shows up 5 minutes after the main characters from the book have slain Dracula and been like "god damn it"

[quiet-tech]

I saw the FNAF movie and didn't like it very much

I'm trying to put this old blog to use by putting down my thoughts on various media. Usually I would just send this to discord servers of my friends but now it's the universe's problem.

Of course, since now is the time that I've finally built the resolve to do this, the first thing I have to talk about is the Five Nights at Freddy's movie. Let me tell you, this was not what I expected to be talking about in 2023, but here we are.

To establish my credentials a little, I've been following the series basically since its inception, through lore/easter-egg hunting videos, as many youtube playthroughs as I could get my hands on, and of course, Matthew Patrick. By the time Pizzeria Simulator (that's FNAF 6 for those uninitiated) rolled around, I was thoroughly impressed by the overall quality of storytelling of the series, and was glad to see it reach a natural conclusion. I chose to ignore the existence of the books, spin-offs, remakes, and further sequels from Steel Wool; I had taken all I wanted from the series, and was ready to move on.

Imagine my surprise when the long-rumored movie, which I was almost sure had been canned in around 2018, was finally given a release date for 2023, 9 years after the series' debut and 6 years after I had moved on from my engagement with it. Given its rough production history (and "rough" feels like an understatement), I was only cautiously optimistic. Sure, this was a series I had at one point enjoyed, and which I thought had a genuinely compelling story to tell, but a movie this far past the expiration date for its hype seemed strange, especially as the franchise moved into new territory with Steel Wool's Security Breach.

Then, of course, the trailers. Listen, I love practical effects any day of the week, and the team's commitment to bringing the iconic animatronics to life was admirable. But, let's just say that the games spent so much effort hiding these things from you for a reason.

And, I think that's where we should start discussion of the film itself, so spoilers ahead: what does it bring to the table? After 9 years of sitting with the imagery and storytelling of FNAF, what has this movie decided to add, to embellish, to show in new lights, or to show in more gruesome, vivid detail than ever before? What does its expensive, high quality production bring to the table that the shoestring-budget games were never able to?

The answer is: basically nothing. The animatronics are just as stiff and lifeless as their jpegs in the games, the location is rendered beautifully but provides only what we already knew was there, and the acting is about on par with Scott Cawthon's own performances as the phone guy.

So, its essentially like playing that classic game all over again. What's the problem, then? The problem is that the games had their excuses: their budget, the one-man development team, and the limitations of their engine, things which the movie should've been able to avoid. But even more so than that, the games had other things to fall back on: atmosphere, effective tension-building, deep and engaging mysteries, and the innate heightening of fear that comes from being put into the situation yourself as a player. In each of these departments, the things which truly put FNAF on the map, the movie fails completely.

Now, some may complain about my wording here. "The animatronics are supposed to be a little goofy! They're not always supposed to be scary, otherwise they wouldn't really be good children's mascots!" And to that, fair point. There are moments in this film which truly highlight this aspect of the animatronic characters, where I actually bought into the idea that these were fun, engaging children's entertainers, and this is something the games never truly established. However, its when the movie flips that switch, when it tries to move into the actual horror, that it falls apart.

Like I mentioned, the practical props, as beautifully crafted as they are, simply are not filmed properly. Nothing in this movie even tries to turn the goofy cartoon character robots into something more sinister visually; no tricks of lighting or camera placement ever effectively communicate the horror of these massive death machines, and the cardboard acting of our main protagonist certainly doesn't help. When moving onscreen, they operate exclusively at a snail's pace; it's difficult to imagine them chasing a security guard down, let alone killing them once they caught up. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to imagine it; the movie shows a character moving at speed exactly once, and through so many flickering lights it's impossible to tell what exactly is happening. This is a pretty consistent aspect of the film: deaths happen, but never onscreen, and the more gruesome and spine-tingling elements of the narrative like unsolved murders, a serial killer on the loose, mutilated corpses, the actual crushing power of these giant animatronics, and even what they do with their victims, are merely alluded to. The phone call audio and "game over" screen from the first game does more to establish the actual threat of Freddy and the gang than any moment of this entire film, and these characters take up a substantial portion of the screen time. There were moments watching the characters "walk" menacingly across the screen where I swear it looked like oversized toys being moved up and down by a toddler's hand offscreen. And, the only attempt to make the robots appear more "evil" by *checks notes* giving them "angry eyebrows" falls completely flat.

The one success this movie manages (again, spoilers,) is Matthew Lillard as the main antagonist. By far the most competent performance, and the actual scariest costuming and character acting in the film (which unfortunately isn't saying much), the movie of course relegates him to about 4 minutes of total screen time, and only at the very beginning and very end of the film. For a shockingly long portion of the runtime, the writing fails to clearly establish the existence of a serial murderer to be afraid of, only for one character to exposit his misdeeds and terrible power to our hero about 10 minutes before he gets his comeuppance. And that moment is well executed; that is, if you already know the story of Five Nights at Freddy's, because the movie certainly doesn't have time to build him up for his knock-down. While it makes sense to focus more on the threat posed by the animatronics in your movie about murderous animatronics, it feels almost like a waste to include Lillard's character at all, only for him to reveal his evil plans (which appear to boil down to "I like killing people" unless again, you already have the context of the game series) before dying in the same scene.

To put it all as simply as I can: this movie is exactly what you are afraid it is: a mess created by talented people with good intentions, but a mess nonetheless, hung by its own overambition and commitment to an aesthetic that just isn't scary. To be honest, it isn't even the kind of mess worth studying; it's failures are obvious and the lessons it teaches are trivial. I walked away from the theater feeling disappointment, and not much else, which is the worst kind of condemnation I can provide.

If you are a fan of this franchise, or you yourself enjoy this film, all the more power to you. I only ask that you remember that things can be better. And if you are planning to see this film; don't. Just redownload the game, it's less than half a gigabyte.

Thanks for reading this far; feel free to let me know your own thoughts if you've got any. I'll try to explain anything I haven't already.

[declanowo]

31 Days of Horror - Day 17 - An American Werewolf in London

17/10/23

Living in rural England as a child, London feels like a mystical place. I remember playing games, watching films and hearing about this world captured inside of the town. When I finally went down to London, I was visiting a Lego exhibition there, I had some pretty mixed feelings. There is something so distinctly different about London to so many other places in England, and An American Werewolf in London captures that perfectly, this beautiful juxtaposition. 

I remember a while ago my mum tried to get me to watch this film, but I felt somewhat turned away by it for some reason - I think it’s because her taste in movies had, until that point, been pretty confusing to me! However, now that I have seen it, I must retract my previous prejudice against her choices! Because An American Werewolf in London is so fun! 

For starters, I enjoy the premise a lot - two American backpackers are attacked by a werewolf in rural England, perfect! It really adds to the theme of unfamiliarity and isolation! Everything feels so alienating to begin with, especially at the pub, which is a great set piece filled with an amazing cast of locals that truly make the audience feel as if they don’t belong. That first part of the film feels like listening into a secret in your family, but being too young to fully understand it. Of course, the title does allow us to infer what is happening, but there is still some ambiguity in regards to their involvement. I love the landscape here, and the movie being shot on film makes it look so pretty, everything about this feels perfect. 

I enjoy our characters! David Kessler, played by David Naughton, is a great protagonist, he is incredibly easy to understand and empathise with. I also really enjoy Griffin Dunne as Jack Goodman, and I found his makeup to be especially cool; I love the way it evolves throughout the film as he deteriorates. As much as I enjoyed Jenny Agutter’s performance as Alex Price, and I think she has some great moments, her role does feel incredibly infused with the male gaze, and it is very obvious she was written by men. Her goal is tied to David, and I wish there was more of her and what she wanted, instead of her constantly being ruled by a desire for David. 

Of course, I can’t talk about this film without discussing how amazing the transformation sequence is, and oh my it is great! I really have nothing to say about it, what more can be said? Everything about it is perfect, and certainly my favourite part of the movie! 

I will say, a close second favourite is the sequence in the theatre, which I think blends the themes of horror and comedy excellently, while also balancing a melancholic tone. Not only is the set great, the comedy film playing in the background leads to some very funny moments, but I found the rows of “zombies” to be really fun, as David is haunted by all the people he has killed. It puts the whole film into perspective, and makes it all the more terrifying! Here, I felt the reality of the film hone in on me, and I think that is where the scariest parts come from - the psychological element. Sure, being mauled to death by a werewolf is scary, but being the creature tearing through people without a single cognitive thought about it is terrifying. 

As well as all this, the ending is tragically beautiful! I love hopeless horror, I think it just makes the film a lot scarier - although I don’t think every horror movie should end with tragedy. What differs this film from the archetypes of a Greek tragedy, or otherwise, is that the hero doesn’t fly above their reach. No lesson is learnt, the punishment is dealt unjustly. Other than a bout of naivety and furious curiosity, we watch our protagonist's life waste away as a result of a careless mistake. It becomes even more upsetting as he is offered a final moment of redemption - a chance to survive, only to be cemented as nothing more than a creature uncable of love and human compassion. 

I also really love most of the vignettes of kills in this film! Especially the tube kill, which is crafted with a fun amount of suspense, and I just found the setting to be a great use of the London setting! The eventual kill it leads to is great as well - just an amazing horror sequence! 

Other than the hospital scenes, as well as those with the doctor, I find the film to be very fun and all round great! This is one I will continue to think about for a while, I find it becomes more haunting the more I think about it! Confidently, I can call this my favourite werewolf movie I have seen! 

9/10

[reservoirreputation]

Not a live reaction

Just some midway point thoughts:

Death Proof is a horror movie (spoilers below)

I go into this knowing nothing but a few gifs I've seen on this site, so I'm REALLY fucking surprised when Quentin pulls the 'killing off our 'main' characters' card. Wes Craven would be fucking proud, genuinely thought we were following these girls throughout the whole movie.

I mean, all that character development? Just to give that gut punch? To the point where I didn't actually think it was real until we cut to the hospital?? Horror writers everywhere should take cues from this.

A few other things before I continue watching:

The foot shots are 100% necessary. The fear I felt with Jill (Julie?) sitting like That in the car every fucking time was well telegraphed and paid off. Also, everything's just so nicely composed? And put together?

Also, as a Texan, this entire sequence feels both like parody and scarily accurate. The most realistic thing in this movie, thus far, is Stuntman Mike being able to drive around like a fucking maniac and no one do a goddamn thing, because here, the speed limit's just a suggestion.

Also, the way the movie's put together, the editing, it really does feel like a 70's exploitation film, with sections that feel like one take because that's all they could afford in the budget, some scenes just ending abruptly like they were lost to time. It really feels like the film reel was just found in someone's attic, and someone gave it wide distribution.

And those moments? Of the characters looking into the camera, breaking the fourth wall? Unexpectedly endearing.

After movie addition: THAT WAS SO GOOD. IT WAS SO FUN. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT ENDING.

This movie really can be summed up with 'oh how the turn tables'.

It's rare I get that hype for a movie's climax, but GODDAMN IF I WEREN'T SLAPPING MY KNEE I WAS SO EXCITED

I LOVE MOVIES I LOVE EXPLOITATION MOVIES WITH A FEMINIST EDGE I LOVE MOVIES THAT TAKE THE SCARY BAD GAUY AND MAKE HIM A WHINY PISSBABY 'ow watch the right arm it's broken' THAT'S RIGHT CREEP EAT SHIT

I LOVE MOVIIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS AAAAAHHHHHHHH

Edie #3 But LISTEN: the way that mike was creepin' on Rosario Dawson's character, doing creepy shit to her feet, and then the kill shot?? Is her character caving his face in with her boot??? CINEMA.

[tomwaterbabies]

question: why is the the donkey transformation scene not as effective in the 2022 pinocchio remake as it is in the original?

welcome to my office

(i just woke up so im sorry if i sound incoherent but i dont want to wait to answer this lol)

i think the main issue is how sanitized they made everything AND an over-reliance on cgi that just. doesnt look good (manifesting vfx artists to get unions. dear god)

pleasure island in the remake is so fucking stupid because WHAT about it is so scary?? where's the sinister atmosphere?? there's no Bite. pinocchio isnt even happy to be there the ENTIRE time which defeats the whole point. why is he being punished if he actively refused to do anything bad?? fucking stupid

the transformation scene itself is just a reflection of everything wrong with that stupid segment (and the rest of that shit movie). the original does a great job with the sudden horrific change and i think part of that is we, as the audience, are waiting for something bad to happen because the whole time there is a sense of unease as we watch this child do awful shit (brawling, breaking shit, smoking, drinking, etc.) and culminates with a scene that is easily one of the best in the entire film and one that is often sited as traumatizing the shit out of children (nice)

it doesnt shy away from showing an intense and visceral transformation. the music, the acting, the animation are all pretty brutal.

case in point: not only is this one of my favorite shots in the whole film but it also is one completely removed from the remake

just LOOK at this ! it's quite literally body horror and i think thats neat. the animation itself is really fantastic but just look at all the detail. lampwick shaking pinocchio aggressively out of desperation and then clawing at him with hooves. pinocchio's look of terror as he's pinned against the wall, his arm going further and further up in a subconscious attempt to get further away. things like stretching pinocchio's face and the fabric of his clothes being pulled add more to the visceral nature

and the thing is the WHOLE scene is like this. VISCERAL. it's visceral. there is Nothing visceral about the remake where lampwick's transformation is nearly entirely hidden and the desperation from both boys is cut down severely. bad!!

[lihikainanea]

Did you see Barbarian? What does Tiger think of it? Did they watch it together?

So I most definitely did not see it because I just can't handle horror and spooky shit, but I liked the look of Billy boy's character in it. Soff. Longish hair. Big ole hands around a wine bottle.

I'm here for it.

And like, let's say tiger isn't really a huge fan of the horror thing either, right? And she's swatted Bill a few times, all petulant, because like WHEN is her big idiot going to make a movie that she can finally watch? One that she's not peeking through the slits in her fingers for the entire thing? Tiger loved Villains, until the end--and that's another thing. She's always harping on him to make a movie where he doesn't fucking die.

But listen, Barbarian comes out. And there's no red carpet, there's no real launch hullabaloo. And maybe that's alright, because this was one of those movies that Bill did because he was a little bored and his downtime started to be too long. That happens sometimes, after a big project he'll vow to take like two months off but after 4 weeks he's kind of itching to do something again--and in that case he never takes on huge roles, just some small ones that come his way that he probably wouldn't glance twice at if he was busy.

All that to say, maybe he never saw a final cut of the movie until it was officially released. He's not one that particularly enjoys watching his own work, but there were a few scenes that peaked his interest on how they turned out--so one Sunday night he makes a big bowl of popcorn, sets the couch up with blankets, and goes to get a grumbling tiger.

"I hate horror," she mutters, "Why is everything you do so scary?"

"My face lends to it," he smirks. He shoves her down onto a fort of pillows and blankets, and pulls her slippers off.

"Hey," she whines--but he holds up a pair of fleece, fluffy socks. He grabs her feet one by one and slides the socks on, then plunks the giant bowl of popcorn on her lap.

"I'll be right back with wine," he says, with a quick peck to her lips. Tiger wraps her hand in his shirt and pulls him in deeper when he tries to break the kiss.

"We can't start this," he mumbles against her lips.

"I just did."

"After," he says with a flick to her nose as he stands upright again, "Come on, don't you want to see the movie? I worked so hard on it."

Tiger gives him a look.

"I worked on it," he corrects, "It'll be great."

He disappears and re-emerges with a bottle of white wine and two big glasses. He sits, yanking the cork out of the bottle with his teeth and pouring two big glasses.

"Cheers big guy," tiger clinks her glass to his, "I hate this already."

Bill just smiles, taking a gulp and leaning back to put his arm around her.

"It'll be okay, I'll tell you when the scary parts happen."

But like, here's the thing right? Bill worked on this movie for like, 4 days. And it was nearly two years ago. So Bill doesn't actually remember any of the scary parts, much less when they happen.

But it starts off alright, the whole ~scene~ when the girl first gets to the home and Bill--err, Keith--answers the door all sleepy.

"Love your hair that length," tiger mumbles, shoving some popcorn into her mouth.

"It was always in my eyes," Bill mutters, "Fucking annoying."

Some ominous music plays, and tiger tenses up.

"Nothing yet kid," he reassures, "Not for awhile."

And that's you know, the last time he's right.

The movie was shot rather out of sequence so Bill isn't even sure when the horror scenes that he filmed are coming up, and because his time on set was so fucking limited--he actually has no idea what goes on for the rest of the movie. And this one? This one's a jumper. Scary shit popping up everywhere. Non scary shit happening so suddenly with such build up and suspense that it turns scary. At one point, in one of his scenes, it's dark and creepy and creaky and tiger clutches his hand. But Bill remembers this scene--it was to build suspense, but he remembered it cutting when he closed the basement door and the next shot was supposed to be a bright morning.

"Nothing kid," he reassures--but he barely gets it out before a shocking, surprised image of the Mother floods the screen with a loud shrieking noise.

"Fucking fuck," tiger jumps a mile and frankly so does Bill, and her hands shoot up to cover her eyes.

"Oh they must have changed that," he muses quietly. Tiger glares daggers at him through her hands.

"Sorry," he mumbles, "I didn't know about that one."

But like, this keeps happening. Throughout the whole movie. Tiger will hear music, tense up, start peeking through her fingers.

"It's the next scene that's--" but then he's cut off again by crafty editing, jumping in his seat when some other monstrosity takes up the huge screen.

After the third time, he has nail marks in his forearms from where tiger was digging into them and his heart is racing.

"Alright I'm out," tiger shrieks, burying her head in his shoulder as the gore progresses on screen, "Turn this shit off!"

"They changed the whole movie," he defends, "But okay, I'm pretty sure now I know when the rest of the scary parts will happen."

"You clearly know nothing pal," she swats him, "Turn this shit off! I can't."

"It's not real kid," he says softly.

"It's still fucked."

He can't argue with that one. The movie is pretty uh, avant-garde. He winces when a particularly gruesome scene comes on, and he shuts it off when tiger swats at him again.

With silence finally filling the room, she sighs and flops back down on the couch.

"Want to watch something else?" he offers.

"Yes I do," she snatches the remote from him and hands him the popcorn. "If you're going to make me suffer, then it's tit for tat on this one bud."

She scrolls through the channels, and finally finds the movie she was looking for. Bill's eyes narrow.

"Tiger," he hisses, "That's not playing fair."

"No, this is very fair. But since you need a reference point, hang on."

Then she gets up, shrugs the blanket off and heads into the bedroom. She re-emerges a few minutes later, in the full kit--bright red Merida wig, that pretty little lingerie set he got her. Bill's jaw goes slack and he tries to cop a feel as she walks by but she swats his hand.

"This," she gestures down her body, "Is not playing fair."

And then she clicks play on the screen, and the opening chords of Brave flood the space. Bill's already growing hard, tiger can see the tent forming in his sweatpants and she purposely rests her hand real close to it.

He rests an arm over her shoulder, and oh so slowly tries to drop a hand down to cup her breast--but she smacks that away too.

"Suffer," she says with a smirk. Bill groans in agony.