#tldr: SCRAPS
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!! House season 4 spoilers !!
Amber's death (and, more specifically, Wilson's reaction to it) absolutely fucking annihilated me. Like, you're telling me that the first person to ever treat him as an equal in a relationship, the first person to not only allow him to put himself first, but to expect and enforce that he do so, died in his arms??? Not only that, but he had to turn off the machines, had to watch, to feel as she let go of her last breath. And then, I am expected to watch as this grieving, wrecked man forces himself to claw away from his borderline abusive best friend who had been the only constant in his life for the last decade and a half?? Because even though he still loves House, he recognizes that House's presence is actively detrimental to his mental health and wellbeing. Because all Wilson has left of Amber is a lipstick stained mug on the counter, memories of a waterbed, and the will she instilled in him, the confidence she gifted him. And House counteracts that. Because House is a vacuum of misery and aggression and expectation, and Wilson could not possibly say no to him. Because Wilson will continue to give himself up for House, and that means he can't keep ahold of what Amber gave him. So Wilson has to walk away,,,
And the worst part? Wilson will come back. Every time he walks away, he comes running back because of MENTAL ILLNESS.THEYRE GAY!!!
In my perfect world, Wilson and Amber ran away together, and House is only allowed supervised weekend visitation rights.
#house md#hate crimes md#gregory house#james wilson#amber volakis#god i could talk about this for HOURS#they make me ILL#lets be so fr this is just a reupload of a caption on a tiktok i made in like feburary#also follow me on tiktok @8igiron hashtag always be plugging#im still right tho#crucify me for it but i am so right#i will be making more posts about them bc i have free time now and they make me ill#tune in next time for when i talk about why the perfect analogy for them is as follows:#wilson is to house what a vulture is to roadkill#tldr: SCRAPS#i'll get into it later#god and the dog metaphors i got on hand for them..#later... later.
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but Iâm jumping into the fray. I think thereâs a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is heavily encouraged prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so itâs sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and I⌠Donât agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of her⌠ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didnât matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. Thatâs why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; itâs always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
Laiosâ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, youâre great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, Iâll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, sheâd follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, sheâd follow him to the ends of the world, and thatâs what she did.
She didnât care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesnât even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parentâs directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I donât think the motivation is people pleasing, rather itâs being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that itâs as simple as that, mind you, but letâs talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). Theyâre the ones sheâs devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didnât care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think thatâs the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we canât tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that sheâs in there, we just donât know at what degree), that we donât know her enough to be able to tell when sheâs at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is whatâs very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. Sheâs so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he canât read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see that⌠Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesnât care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who sheâs speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they donât cross her mind then of course sheâd be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesnât make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isnât exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see sheâs ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me thereâs this aspect to her that she isnât as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and thereâs something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so sheâs friendly and hopefully thingsâll be smooth sailing. Itâs easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you donât care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesnât do what she does because she loves them, but because she loves them.
One situation thatâs interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what Iâm trying to get at, is Shuroâs proposal to her. Iâve seen people saying she hesitated because she didnât feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I canât say no, I donât want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but itâs actually canon in the Adventurerâs Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didnât feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but itâd have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense sheâd want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, thereâs even a bit on it on Laiosâ Adventurerâs Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, itâs an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brotherâs needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldnât she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah thatâs convenient for me, but where itâs everything to him and heartfelt Iâm able to be detached because I donât care about it that much⌠Can I do that? Iâm not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though itâs not what youâd expect, isnât it?
And central to my analysis, where Iâm going with this is, I feel like thatâs the thing with her character, that she doesnât feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didnât mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didnât seem to get why it was such a big deal, didnât seem to care about how theyâd experienced her choices.
So itâs a tendency⌠And itâs not that she doesnât care, itâs just that the way she measures whatâs good for the ones she loves isnât the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). Itâs an overt but quiet kind of care, itâs doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuroâs proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because sheâs thinking about reciprocity, about if itâd be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And thatâs a big part of her character isnât it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, sheâd been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurerâs Bible explanation was released midstory, so Iâm hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didnât react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesnât remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasnât finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what Iâm saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuroâs proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? Itâs rather layered, because canonically she wasnât aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and weâre not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isnât being mistreated (though doesnât ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough sheâs very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when sheâs worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chiefâs daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think sheâd notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when sheâs careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think itâs a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. Sheâs not sure wether to accept or reject Shuroâs proposal, doesnât want to lead him on? Sheâll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesnât feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think thatâs here too. She doesnât get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesnât change that she doesnât want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, itâs just that sheâs learned growing up that she doesnât have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. Sheâll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, sheâll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when heâs pushing her away (because he doesnât want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved themâ And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didnât notice the ostracization she suffered.
Sheâs always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didnât try hard to rectify the dogsâ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someoneâs presence isnât something you ask for, itâs something thatâs bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you canât ask them to stay or to come with.
Sheâs used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so sheâs learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didnât want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, itâs the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasnât that Iâd feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I donât regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but Iâm sorry that youâre so much more upset about it than me". Itâs the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
Itâs the autism itâs the aroace of it all, itâs the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, itâs the feeling like youâre somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. Iâm not joking btw it isnât uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm youâre uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you wonât feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about itâŚ"
So⌠Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I donât think she actually cares about people all that much. Iâd argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesnât mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well itâs pretty straightforward really, sheâs not all that social and doesnât see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but itâs not as much like⌠A conviction or goal. Sheâs too laser focused on a select few people. "Itâs not that theyâre bad people, they just arenât interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isnât her whole world or that she isnât the kindest soul out there then youâre saying she doesnât care at all or sheâs evil. And thatâs actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but itâs not in a way thatâs quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they donât have the same logic as her, donât show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if Iâm making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isnât uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, thereâs absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. Thereâs enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason Iâve chosen this angle is I feel itâs more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falinâs character arc as Iâll go over throughout the next sectionâŚ
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. AndâŚâŚ. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You canât tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when sheâs dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to just⌠Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. Thatâs what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
Thereâs excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, and⌠Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falinâs choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragonâs wasnât done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. Sheâs stripped of her agency consistently, and so⌠Itâs very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falinâs own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think Iâm going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laiosâ wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, itâs something thatâs consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, itâs always been Laiosâ curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, but⌠On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks itâd be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If thereâs someone you donât like, you can gobble âem up in one bite. If you could fly, youâd be able to leave this village right now." Itâs a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
But youâll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesnât want to leave knowing theyâll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laiosâ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isnât to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isnât to stay and see how well his friends will live, itâs to go. Itâs to leave. Itâs to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. Itâs again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didnât, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, itâs Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. Itâs a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying theyâll get themselves killed, that time is passing while theyâre away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what itâs like to have what sheâs never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if youâre a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when youâre a beast and you can just⌠Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because youâre at the bottom of the hierarchy, youâre now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
I think sheâs on autopilot. I think sheâs on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and itâs partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) Itâs familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And thatâs what is weaponized when sheâs a chimera, that instinct sheâs been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesnât matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesnât mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because sheâs trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So youâre probably seeing the duality Iâm talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often donât recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesnât care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. Sheâs undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, itâs text, in the response to Shuroâs proposal extra no less. And sheâs so laser focused on her most loved people that sheâs fine with being callous and risking othersâ lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with her⌠Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her too⌠In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way thatâs not palatable. But she doesnât care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasnât for a while now, and thatâs great.
Notes & nuance
Iâm struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. Itâs difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but thereâs this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "itâs ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldnât fit well in other places but are interesting for Falinâs character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, itâs just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I canât just pull it up whenever itâs relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurerâs Bible profile if you havenât already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didnât seem to mind others ostracizing her, itâs easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid sheâs bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leader⌠Thereâs one istanxe of her caring actually, and itâs about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laiosâ said it and as I rambled Laiosâ words are her world, but actually itâs ambiguous. Itâs only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, thereâs no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other handâŚ
Her Adventurerâs Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falinâs struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesnât like being called cute over it, but thatâs not how she wants people to see her. She doesnât want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
Hereâs a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts donât seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe itâs more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didnât keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be âtroublesomeâ. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearances⌠A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurerâs Bible profile) itâs just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I donât think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for othersâ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but thatâs not personality wise itâs needs and wants wise. And I do feel like thatâs the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesnât know what she wants because everything sheâs done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesnât change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesnât ask things from people and doesnât hope for more, hope for better. I donât think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her itâs less âappearing stoic to fit in moreâ and more âyeah iâll just chill until Iâm needed or something activates my enthusiasmâ. To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you canât be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivity⌠I want to speculate about Shuroâs proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we donât know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuroâs proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I donât think it was as simple as âshe wanted to say yes for convenienceâ. Logically itâs what would have been best, but itâs not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesnât think sheâll get proposed to again, itâs that self-effacing tendency that yes itâd be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isnât in it, because if itâs convenient then thatâs more important than her feelings on the matter. Man also⌠Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldnât get with Shuro, but imagine how Falinâs whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much sheâs master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but sheâs for sure there & influencing the dragonâs action to some degree. Having a dragonâs foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but thereâs Falin calling out to her brother Laios, thereâs the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly thereâs the Adventurerâs Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that itâs her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, itâs interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, sheâs described as Thistleâs guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so Iâll reign myself in and just mention it again. Sheâs still at the heel of someone, only now itâs someone who doesnât care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that itâs suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think thatâs part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isnât unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc weâve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "Iâll lay down my life for you" point? Iâm so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isnât it cool?" gestures of showing things to her⌠Itâs the only way she knows to ask, or maybe itâs the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same time⌠I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. Iâd usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but thereâs a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo important⌠Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didnât mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you havenât seen each other in a while or when theyâre alone, and yes thereâs potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin wonât be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same way⌠I hope Iâm making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they donât know if thatâs allowed, if theyâre going about the social interaction the right way, if theyâre allowed to ask that out of someoneâŚ
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didnât see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falinâs actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldnât see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course sheâd see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcilleâs world, Laiosâ is at the center of Falinâs, and I tend to agree.
Itâs fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course thereâs how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but thereâs how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think thereâs an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I donât really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. âIf you die do it somewhere where I canât seeâ styleâ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I donât vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isnât needlessly against ghosts. And Falinâs sudden mace hits are fun to me too because itâs not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whateverâs needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
Iâm working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falinâs dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laiosâ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr: Falin doesnât care all that much, sheâs very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesnât really care because thatâd require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but itâs more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: sheâs canonically very genuinely kind, but itâs more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. Sheâs passive, and softspoken because thatâs just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the olâ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. Sheâs shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but thereâs also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. Thereâs a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falinâs case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
Sheâs sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and thatâs it donât hope for more donât ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how sheâs not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
Thatâs it, ty for reading. Even if itâs a bit of a mess, hopefully youâll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Hereâs my spotify playlist for her if youâd like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-loveâs important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we donât#get that many moments with her. So thereâs ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#Iâm doomed. Iâm getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. Itâs mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity youâre expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#heâs here too bc they are an unit#If youâre not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falinâs character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairyâs child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised sheâs hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laios⌠Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#Iâd like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. Iâm not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if youâd prefer. It doesnât have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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A few sketches of these guys :]
#I love them. your honor#Ok. but really. I love both sets of Pines twins and all that. but I also adore the little family Stan managed to scrounge up over the years#Becoming the father figure that Soos needed after never really seeing his father for years- so much that Soos can't remember his appearance#And even tho' we didn't nearly get as many moments between Stan and Wendy (scrapped heist-training montage B-plot you'll always be famous)#there's little moments here and there that shows she cares about the old guy too. and vice versa.#Tldr; Soos and Wendy are Stan's kids and no one can change my mind /hj#Also. I wish we could've gotten more of Melody. especially with Soos. They're so gd cute together istg orz#my art#Stanley Pines#Wendy Corduroy#Melody Gravity Falls#Soos Ramirez#Gravity Falls#Gravity Falls Fanart
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Heâs such a loser like genuinely
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new type of freak just dropped ( ok 2 rb )
#021#tldr is he's a sfx artist mainly doing casts of shit And he partakes in occult bullshit to control people via part of their souls being#tranfered into his props. oh he also fully believes he was abducted before and he's undead. also he has a rabbit named jason ^_^#magnus' scraps
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All in favor of teaching UT fangame creators how to not touch kids?
#God I'm tired of seeing this#HOW MANY IS THIS GOING TO HAPPEN TO???#Seething after learning about Zerjox rn#Like Do y'all remember Nihilism????#i was so hyped for thst#BUT NOOOO#WRENBLU JUST HAD TO BE A PIECE OF SHIT AND GET THE GAME SCRAPPED#Tldr; y'all need to stop making hype projects and then liking kids or just being pieces of shit#looking at you UT: Bits and Pieces#Si says stuff
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Jummbox link
Another og song for the salcreus fandom đŻđŻđŻ
#salted music#music posting#babygirl do not pass me the aux !!#um the tldr for this one is ':3 erm. what the scalop. there is a creature after me." and i wanted to see if i could#do a song whose whole deal was that the notes were just shifted down one#that's where the blue ascending notes thing came from bc that was a scrapped wip from that concept#I don't. Like this song? but i like what i learned doing it.#also the knife effect scraping against each other was so hard to pull off lol
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anyways i am feeling kinda brave today so im gonna share a potentially unpopular taylor swift hot take. when i was talking to my friend yesterday about ttpd i realised that i kinda have a similar problem with the anthology as i do with evermore.
like don't get me wrong, both have absolute gems (willow, tolerate it, long story short, gold rush and NBNC from evermore are great and i love the albatross, so high school, the prophecy black dog, manuscript etc) but i think both collections (bc anthology is not an album) suffer because they came out connected to a much superior more cohesive work, and both almost feel like rejects from the body of work that proceeded it.
#actually like i said to my beloved mutual âthanK you aIMeeâ kinda feels like she woke up one day and went âfuck you kim actuallyâ#which i can kinda relate to in a way bc the amount of times i randomly go âfuck youâ#but my mutual said if there were more songs about being screwed over by people that could be a storyline. but theres not. its just there#like its a great song but also i kinda went âwe are covering this ground againâ#if there were new developments in the relationship i could kinda understand it#like how she wrote innocent and then backtracked that with rep bc things happened#but idk the anthology just feels like scraps she deemed good enough for release but in my opinion needed editing#the stupid ass 1830s lyric highlights this bc i get what shes trying to say but she worded it so badly#that i kinda see why its being clowned on#also imgonnagetyouback... yehahahahah liv did it better. now it feels like a done concept. im shocked she included it#she knew it was coming come on#anyways the anthology while good kinda felt unfinished#she should have given it a few more months and polished it#bc holy hell at least folkmore felt polished#even though evermore is cohesively weaker#my friend who is a folkmore swiftie kinda also feels like this fyi so dont come at me screaming âburn 1989 rep midnights stan!â#burn me idc#and while im at it both are in my bottom three only right above debut#tldr: both collections are tied to another work thats just so much better and cohesive#this is just me saying i cant get into anthology hahaha#and i felt weird bc everyone liked it but when my friend a literal folklore girl said âno im not feeling itâ i felt better#bc so many people were saying it was better and those swifties were going 'all of us' and i kinda went... no i prefer standard#i love taylor sm and i love og ttpd its currently no 5 but the anthology has issues and one of them is similar to why i rank evermore lowl#i just went off on a tangent about the issues with the anthology and its songwriting and lack of narrative#i will say so i win you all over i loved the evermore set at eras i thought it was so beautifully done#taylor swift#ttpd: anthology#evermore
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i Do Not Understand succ viewers who gloss over romanÂ
i rewatched 2x10 last night and remember how heâs fresh off his hostage situation, where he had to manage a successful pitch literally at gunpoint (which he DID, btw). remember how he gets on the yacht and everyoneâs immediately razzing him abt it bc nothing he does can be taken seriously, bc thats the armor heâs always worn and the version of him everyone is comfortable with. except heâs so tired and rattled this time that heâs like, iâm not doing the funny guy thing rn, i almost just died. and he tries to be vulnerable w/ shiv and ken later, when he tells them he considered - while being worried for his life - whether the 3 of them could âtalk to each other normallyâ if he survived. but none of them knows how to do vulnerability so they turn it into a joke. and when logan calls him and laird and karl in to discuss the outcome of the pitch roman is able to speak frankly and strategically abt his instinctive mistrust of the proposed deal and its possible disastrous repercussions, in spite of laird trying to doll it up for an easy win w/ logan. and loganâs sitting there like, maybe this kid has a bit of me in him after all. and later after logan announces that ken will be the skull on the spike and roman will step up from co-COO to sole COO, roman canât even enjoy the promotion bc heâs looking to ken for his reaction, visibly anxious and distressed by kenâs predicament at loganâs hands. and kenâs smiling reassuringly at him and saying âno, rome, itâs greatâ (you can be excited)Â
he is SUCH a layered and impactful character, youre just not watching him closely!!!Â
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i still need to gather all my thoughts, but just an fyi, anything involving the heaven plan in part 6 is going to be heavily canon divergent on this blog. stay tuned for a more detailed post about it sometime later đ
#// tldr; the heaven plan is convoluted as fuck and doesnât really gel with what i imagined it would be#// i made this blog long before i started part 6 and so my hcs went in a different direction#// iâm more or less scrapping all the shit with the bone and the green baby and the sons being used as pucci's pawns#// i think araki had some interesting ideas but let it all get away from himâŚ.thatâs just my opinion tho#// ooc.
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HI im apparently in the mood for pain (for approximately 0.05 seconds anyway) and :) man I'm thinking about how the only person Arlo likely knew on any personal level was his mama (a woman not even his own blood, but raised as hers). pls dont think about how when she died, he lost everyone he loved and everyone who loved him (save for the farm animals, they were his only friends to this day, whatever of them are still alive! some died of sickness or animals, but most of old age. only those he couldn't breed for more are all gone. ie, cows?ig? they didn't keep bulls for good reason yhfujdg) ANYWAY AALLSOOO don't think about how he's been alone for years, decades even. with not a soul around, and if anyone did wander around, he had to hide or else they were frightened away. AAALLSSSOOO (and yes all of this just to share one singular thought here:) do not think about the farm burning down! there is nothing, like with his mother and the animals that got old or sick or harmed, that he can do to stop this. and in that instance as he watches in horror, he will truly lose everything, and will have nothing, not even anywhere to go. nowhere is safe for him. where in the history of things like him do they come out alive let alone safe?
#( ooc )#( tbd )#hello <3 heres some unedited ramblings jdyhfdg have fun!! /lh#anyway tldr pls consider how much atticus-arlo has lost already (his whole world. his mother. his daily life and structure and sense of#safety and love). consider that when/if he ever loses the property - he will have truly nothing in this world at /all/. not a scrap that#can be called his own save for whatever is on him at the time <:' )#he has no one! not a possession to his name! not a cent! no food no shelter after living a Life Of Sheltered Love#aNYWAY JHGYHU
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girl help i hate every single thing we're going for this show
#i hate that i have to bring my own material into it actually. i don't wanna preform with my own material. ever đ#even now that i got permission to use translated text i still hate the way i translated things#AND she wants me to add more of my own lines into it. which. i really don't wanna! idk what to even add in the first place!!!!#but i already scrapped 2 different things and we have a presentation of this show in. less than a fucking month đĽ˛#so ig this is the most tolerable option (in part bc it also absolves me of doing another thing the others are doing)#but man. i wish we weren't doing this. we are not writers this show is gonna be so embarrassing#vent#i GUESS#ask to tag#tldr i am not meant for fringe theater.
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worked until I got enough raises and benefits that I could scrape by on part time so I could have the time needed to find a job that actually relates to the field I want to be in (working with animals so I can lead into being a vet) and they had me work 6 days this week with 38 hrs. on part time. i hate it here.
#I know its because its holiday season but the store is closed on the actual christmas day so none of this is even overtime pay :/#journal scrap#I do have really big feelings for this year and ive been trying to workshop textposts to express it but tldr im doing the best ive ever had#this time last year i was at a very low point and right now im at one of the best points living quality wise ive ever had and its like.#i feel like a plant being poorly transposed into better soil/pottery and regrowing the roots I was relying on but able to grow bigger roots
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"baby"
tldr: all the way seungcheol uses your nickname a/n: this has been written and waiting to be posted forEVER but i'm finally ready (i am down horrific for this man)
seungcheol x reader fluff wc: 1k
reprimands: to make sure you know he's yours
âbaby.â his tone is firm, controlling. he thought it would be a good idea to invite you to his shoot today, thinking you'd like to see him in the expensive clothes he was always put in for cover shoots. what he didnât account for was you pouting over the friendly makeup artist assigned to him for the day.Â
âdonât pout. you know i only have eyes for you.â he was trying to reason with you but his patience was wearing thin. you were being difficult on purpose and he couldnât really do anything about it given the need to protect his image and act as professional as possible. you just huffed, frown settling deeper on your face.Â
âyouâre being a little unreasonable,â based on the look you gave him that was the completely wrong thing to say to you. he turned when he heard them call for him from set. it was time to shine. he walked over to where you sat, bending down to meet your eyes, âif youâre good for the rest of the day iâll reward you when we get home, baby.âÂ
whines: when he doesnât have your attention
âbaby,â he could hear the pathetic tone in his voice but he just couldnât help it. heâd had a long day of meetings and listening to presentations, the only thing keeping him going was knowing that you would be waiting at home for him when it was all over. youâd look at him with your soft eyes and dote on him all weekend, just how he liked. now here he was, waiting to be coddled and you were too busy giggling at your phone to spare him a glance.Â
âwhat could be so entertaining on the phone that you canât spend time with me?â he was laying it on thick but he was desperate at this point, especially when his question was only answered by another tittering laugh that was still not directed at him. at this point, he was fed up. he craned his neck to see what had you all giggly.Â
âoh my god. youâre kidding me!â he couldnât believe his eyes. playing on your phone was an edit of him from the most recent gose episode. the clip wasnât even his best moment in the episode, but he did look quite handsome that day so he canât blame you for watching. he still really wanted to be fussed over, âseriously, put your phone down. iâm much cuter in person, baby.âÂ
cat-calls: as you walk by in his favorite dress
âbaby!â he called out to you, dragging out the âyâ sound. you paused, stopping in the middle of the bedroom as you crossed from the closet to the ensuite bathroom. he was seated on the bed, tying his shoelaces when he caught sight of you in the soft pink sundress he loved so much. you looked at him with big, curious eyes, wondering why he had stopped you in the middle of getting ready for your date in the park.Â
âspin for me.â he got up from the bed and reached for your hand. he held it up, above your head and twirled you in a circle, eyes taking in every inch of you. he was excited to have a picnic with you but now he was considering scrapping the whole thing to stay behind. seeing you in a sundress always did something to him.Â
âyouâre so beautiful,â he was full of compliments, making sure you knew exactly how beautiful he thought you were. he considered himself a lucky man every day he got to spend with you. he supposed his desire for you could wait a few hours. he should spoil you rotten with a date in the park, before spoiling you in bed. âsure you really want to go out, baby?â
admires: because heâs proud of you
âbaby,â his voice is soft, eyes even softer as he cups your face. heâd just gotten home from his schedule and youâd greeted him at the door, immediately sharing the news of your promotion with him. it was a small, mostly lateral move, with a tiny raise but you were still excited to share the news with him. he kisses you deeply, trying to convey his pride to you wordlessly.Â
âi should tell my mom. sheâs going to be so happy for you.â this made you blush. you knew heâd be proud but you didnât really expect him to be so happy that heâd want to tell everyone. it wasnât even a big deal. you begged him not to call his mom right that moment and instead conceded to a spontaneous celebratory dinner at your favorite restaurant.Â
âiâm so proud of you,â this was now the sixth time he told you this since you shared the news with him, the second on the car ride to the restaurant. you blushed every time he said it, and had asked him to stop, to which he refused. in fact, he had doubled down. he threatened to have a cake brought to the table at dinner if you tried to silence him again. at a red light, he fished his phone out of his pocket, handing it over to you, âcall my mom, for real. i want us to share the news with her. sheâs going to be so proud, baby.â
barks: on accident
âbaby!â the name came out harsh, frustrated. youâd never heard it that way before; this time, it wasnât even directed at you. the dressing room fell silent and you watched the blush creep up his neck. the boys were never going to let him live this down. he turned from you, the conversation you were having before he went on stage now gone from his mind.Â
âsorry, i meant to say âseungkwanââ. he was trying to save the situation but it was awkward. not only had he tried to reprimand his members but heâs accidentally used your name to do it, embarrassing himself in front of his members, staff, and you. what was once a bustling hub of movement and concert preparation came to a screeching, uncomfortable halt at his faux pas.Â
âwe know you like seungkwan, but we didn't know you liked him that much, hyung.â jeonghan broke the tension saving his leader and ushering in some polite laughter. the commotion slowly began again and he turned back to you. his face looked normal, probably due to the makeup, but his neck was bright red. he was flustered, âtheyâre never going to let this go, baby.â
#seventeen#seventeen imagines#svt#seventeen fluff#svthub#seventeen scenarios#svt x reader#seventeen seungcheol#seungcheol imagine#choi seungcheol#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol fluff
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That one bit between nightmare and moment of clarity is probably, writing-wise, my favorite passage in the entire game. So of course I hand-wrote all of it on a scrap piece of offset ink-stained paper that had a cool texture.
For anyone curious, more about how this weird little piece came to be below the cut
I'm an illustrator in training. By which I mean I'm taking an advanced vocational training in illustration course. One of the classes is a printing class (As in carving art into a matrix you then stamp/print).
Sometimes, you remove the excess ink off your matrix by placing a spare piece of newspaper or magazine paper on top and peeling it off, taking a hefty amount of excess ink with it.
This particular scrap sheet came out with a really cool texture, so I kept it instead of throwing it out.
Then, genius struck:
So I reached for my white gel pen and started going at it. At some point I needed something heftier, so I wound up borrowing a posca paint marker off a classmate, then a red paint marker off a professor.
I was. Locked in. On a mission (the mission was seeing this piece through. I was VERY compelled, for some reason.)
So TLDR this is just a stained piece of magazine paper I drew on. Then I scanned it and fixed the overblown scan in Krita to give the blacks the real depth they're supposed to have.
#slay the princess#the nightmare#the nightmare stp#stp nightmare#stp#slay the princess fan art#fan art#experimental art#art#traditional art#mixed media#moment of clarity#the moment of clarity#stp moment of clarity
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Hello yes hi. Big fan. Very big fan! Ur art, story, and that bad-freaking-ass spiderman design has me on a choke hold. Just a question bc I'm curious and a fanatic, what's Deadpools and Peter's relationship like here? Are they just lookin for a fun time or Something deeper? I gotta know man. I'll take all scraps I can get
Thank you so much! Here are some scraps I have fashioned into something edible (hopefully).
(Tfw u hug ur friend and pull back covered in his blood)
Wade doesn't have casual friends. In fact most people tend to leave, and the ones that stick around tend to like him in small doses.
Peter is weird. He's friendly, puts up with Wade's antics and is (for some reason) really patient with his bullshit. He lets Wade chatter and actually listens, they watch tiktoks together and Peter opens all his memes (not to mention actually replies to his texts!!)
Peter is also really tactile. Wade has had more casual physical contact (arm around the shoulders/neck grasping/etc) in the past few months than he's had in forever.
Peter also cares. Wade hasn't had anyone who's really cared in a long-ass time.
TLDR: Wade is so fucking far gone on him it's not even funny. He's also terrified of messing it up because if it goes south, it's not just a date he's gonna lose out on, it's the entire friendship. So he's been basically pining behind his usual 'I'm-going-to-make-crude-sexual-come-ons' routine and hopes Peter doesn't realize it's not for show.
He's also struggling with some very horny feelings for Spiderman but that's a whole other bag of marbles.
Don'tmessthisupdon'tmessthisupdon'tmessthis- "Hey, your tits look fantastic today" Fuck. Peter: "Thanks! Scarlett told me to get smaller shirts."
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Peter, on the other hand, is kind of reluctant to have romantic relationships because his Spider side and human side tend to blend together in ways that most people can't handle.
Because what does a regular person do when their boyfriend's venn diagram of 'hunt/eat/mate' is a circle? Peter always has to hold himself back, has to watch his strength, has to curb his knee-jerk reactions to violence...it's exhausting. And it's gotten the people he loves hurt.
So he's interested, but contents himself with platonic interactions because he thinks he doesnât deserve anything more.
He also doesn't want to ruin the friendship, because he actually, genuinely likes Wade.)
Now when he's in the suit...well...impulses tend to go out the window...
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Thank you so much for the asks! I hope this was satisfying!! <3 <3 <3
#spiderman#hunting!spider#peter parker#deadpool#headcanon that coming back from the dead is almost like a subdrop#Peter and Marko used to have this super healthy (minus the criminal parts) bromance so that's what he's doing with Deadpool#ask#also peter spent years in prison in close quarters with criminals. weird psycho behavior is normal for him
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