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[8igiron]

!! House season 4 spoilers !!

Amber's death (and, more specifically, Wilson's reaction to it) absolutely fucking annihilated me. Like, you're telling me that the first person to ever treat him as an equal in a relationship, the first person to not only allow him to put himself first, but to expect and enforce that he do so, died in his arms??? Not only that, but he had to turn off the machines, had to watch, to feel as she let go of her last breath. And then, I am expected to watch as this grieving, wrecked man forces himself to claw away from his borderline abusive best friend who had been the only constant in his life for the last decade and a half?? Because even though he still loves House, he recognizes that House's presence is actively detrimental to his mental health and wellbeing. Because all Wilson has left of Amber is a lipstick stained mug on the counter, memories of a waterbed, and the will she instilled in him, the confidence she gifted him. And House counteracts that. Because House is a vacuum of misery and aggression and expectation, and Wilson could not possibly say no to him. Because Wilson will continue to give himself up for House, and that means he can't keep ahold of what Amber gave him. So Wilson has to walk away,,,

And the worst part? Wilson will come back. Every time he walks away, he comes running back because of MENTAL ILLNESS.THEYRE GAY!!!

In my perfect world, Wilson and Amber ran away together, and House is only allowed supervised weekend visitation rights.