#tl;dr not bad!

[idolomantises]

“I don’t like that Sera is sharply dressed because it feels like a lesbian trope”

Maybe she just likes being sharply dressed?

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[himluv]

Okay, hot take coming in, but I've seen a few posts mentioning that Isseya's character was done dirty in Veilguard. And... I disagree. Here's why:

1. Isseya is already established as a morally gray character, willing to do basically anything if it meant ending the Fourth Blight, even when it went against her own personal morals.

2. Her Calling advanced quickly because of the blight, and it's theorized in Last Flight that all her use of Blood Magic probably didn't help, either.

3. She has been alive for CENTURIES after she should have died on her Calling. She is more Darkspawn than elf, more akin to The Architect or Corypheus than she is Davrin, by the time we meet her in game.

4. And this is the doozy, in the novel The Calling, we see what happens when Wardens don't die on their Calling. We know what happens when they let their taint change them. We saw what happened when the Architect advanced their Calling so that they might keep their minds... They didn't. After only months, Bregan starts to lose it. The blight is anger. It's rage. It is a literal plague of HATE. And it twists not just his body, but his mind too.

So, imagine Isseya, already angry. Already wracked with guilt, grief, and righteous anger when she goes on her Calling. And then she doesn't die, but Revas, her griffon, does. And so Isseya is all alone, festering in her own negative emotions for centuries, all while the blight in her veins slowly takes over and whispers nothing but hate directly into her brain. For over 400 YEARS.

And it all comes down to the Wardens. She blames them for what she became, for the fate of the griffons (understandably so), and her madness spirals into making an alternate Weisshaupt, recruiting her own order of Blighted Wardens.

(side note: was she working with The Architect? Because this is some Architect shit.)

And then Ghilan'nain shows up with an offer to help "save" the griffons. And Isseya is blighted, driven mad with centuries of unmitigated hate. So she takes Ghilan'nain's offer, never once seeing how she's being used all over again. Because the blight has blinded her with hate for the Wardens.

Isseya's character hasn't been botched. They didn't do her dirty. Her story is SAD. Heartbreaking even. It's a tragedy and a warning, of what that much hate can do to a person.

Did I wish better for her? Absolutely. I loved Isseya in Last Flight, and my heart broke for her then. But unraveling the Gloom Howler that first time? Realizing who she was and WHY this was happening? It was an amazing experience. (The way I said, "oh, Isseya"??? Tear my heart to shreds, Bioware.)

But, just because Isseya's fate is tragic, doesn't mean she was written poorly. From what we know about her, the blight, and the Calling, her character is actually very consistent and believable.

Just... really fucking sad.

[lazylittledragon]

YES YOU FINALLY STARTED ARCANE but also?!?! You used to be an animator?? That's so cool!

yes i was!!! i went to university for animation and was a freelance animator/illustrator for a while after i graduated, i stopped bc the burnout was just too much and i knew i'd make myself (even more) ill if i kept going any more

i still love animating it's just absolutely not the career for me which was a bit sad to realise, but quitting let me get my actual dream job so i'm glad i did :3

[a-delicate-touch]

in regards to my last reblog i think it's important to note that just because a certain blog/person has multiple references, years of experience, and tumblr popularity doesn't automatically deem them as safe. predators are very good at hiding & you should always trust your gut and leave if you feel unsafe or like something is wrong.

[feroluce]

Not to make everything about my ship, but if I don't do it no one will, so today we are making meta analysis of Boothill's faceoff match about henghill, because the differences between Boothill's stand off with Luka and his one with Dan Heng- and what you can infer about Boothill himself and what catches his eye in a person- makes me chew concrete.

JUST. I loved the scene between Luka and Boothill so much. I love how wildly unrestrained Boothill is. He really just shoved the barrel of his gun in his opponent's face and put the fear of death into him as a way to test Luka's resolve. I utterly adore him. I hope he does it again. Anyway.

When confronted with all this, Luka freezes. His stress-induced hallucinations were already bad, but you can see how they really ramp up in this match, because before, they were always something familiar. Previous enemies became Silvermanes, or Belobogian automatons, or even Cocolia. Luka is far from home for the first time in his life, and he's so terribly homesick his brain is making everything familiar, because that is what he's desperately craving right now.

But Boothill.

Boothill is something so new, and unique, and horrific and terrifying, that he becomes something entirely unknown to Luka. His hallucination manifests as Something Unto Death, as the very fear of death itself.

And this stand off (which I love so much that this is how this match progressed, because like that's literally just Boothill's in-game skill; he locks the enemy into a one-on-one duel, so this was extremely in character for him) lasts long enough that Owlbert starts having to fill in the silence over the loudspeaker,

and even Boothill himself starts trying to push Luka into making a decision one way or the other.

Given that Boothill is a hunter by trade and is proven to have all the patience to track his prey and then some, this was more for Luka's sake than any impatience on his part, to try to shove him out of his freeze reaction.

And Boothill isn't really hard to read throughout this whole exchange, he all but says outright what he's looking for.

Boothill wants to see him surpass this test and come at him! You can see it in his face when Luka finally takes a step! And in how he congratulates him!

And then he fucking shot him snxhsjksjsn

Boothill admires courage, and bravery, and decisiveness. He admires a person's ability to put their life on the line and still fight in the face of danger and overwhelming odds. Those are the things that catch his eye.

And Luka does kind of get there eventually, but it is a stalling, halting motion that gets him there, and he fell to pieces immediately afterwards. This is his first time with this, and he's still figuring it out.

Dan Heng, on the other hand.

Boothill's stand off with Dan Heng from 2.2 is so fucking far in the total opposite direction that it is HILARIOUS.

Boothill literally breaks into the Astral Express, ambushes Dan Heng, and Dan Heng still has the balls to not only demand info out of Boothill- like doesn't even ask nicely, demands it- he also just straight up calls Boothill a liar. Right to his face! And he still isn't nice about it!!

By the way, that entire conversation? This is how it takes place.

Boothill, phrasing!!

Boothill has him at gunpoint! Dan Heng does not have his weapon with him! He does not flinch, and even stands there with his arms crossed seeming simultaneously pissed and utterly unimpressed. He looks like he should be irritably tapping his foot and looking down his nose at him. Dan Heng could not give less of a shit.

For that matter, Dan Heng even turns his back and walks away from Boothill- right in the middle of him talking, too! Not a single attempt to be considerate of the man who could decide any moment he feels like decorating the wall with Dan Heng's brains.

Dan Heng is brave and courageous and completely unflappable in the face of danger. He is ruthless and decisive in how he conducts himself, even when staring down the barrel of a gun. And through his efforts in Penacony, he shows the ability to put his life on the line and fight through overwhelming odds to save his once-in-a-lifetime companions.

No wonder Dan Heng caught Boothill's eye the way he did, no wonder the two of them were working together and bantering not even minutes after Boothill pulled a gun on him haha

[equalperson]

BTW "destigmatizing mental illness" doesn't just mean being tolerant when someone says they have a psychiatric diagnosis or go to therapy, it also means investigating how your own view of "evil" may overlap with the signs of madness.

this is because the mainstream idea of what a "bad person" looks like is heavily influenced by sanism, thus most people's perception of what makes someone bad is literally just them being mentally disabled.

to support the crazy, you must accept that grandiosity, delusionality, attention-seeking, rage, homicidal ideation, and many similar experiences are not inherently dangerous. likewise, you must also understand that love and empathy are not the ultimate goods that everyone makes them out to be.

madness can easily be an abundance of the former and a lack of the latter, not just the quiet insecurity that most people reference when they talk about "mental health."

ultimately, the world will never be a truly safe place until it's a widely acknowledged fact that there's no such thing as villainous cognition or emotionality; prejudice is the source of all evil, not abnormality.

[f4gwithf4ngs]

currently smothering my face in a pillow because AAAHHHH I WANNA KISS A BOY!!!! I WANNA KISS A BOY SO BAD!!!! MAYBE MAKEOUT A LITTLE… AAAHHHHH

[genericpuff]

those of us who have read the fastpass know how false this advertising is LMAOO

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I used to despise Eridan and think he was the absolute worst character (barring Cronus ig) but you have shown me the light and completely turned my opinion around and now I think he is such an endearing little freak <3 I read your whole blog already but if you've got any more thoughts on eri or anyone else then I hope you post them bc I'd love to hear more abt it!

i have sooo many controversial opinions about the dancestors you have noooooo idea

[lissa612]

No, but really…Why bring in a character with such potential to fit in with the main cast of characters and then never use that? A character who could add a new dimension to the overall excitement of the show and then not capitalize on it?

[hoofpeet]

I'd probably have to read the printed version and web version back to back at some point to note all the differences but... ough

[lazylittledragon]

Feel free to ignore if this is intruding but I remember you posting about dealing with caffeine addiction and I hope you're doing ok <3 Addiction is really hard to deal with so I hope everything is going alright for you!

!! thank you for checking in <3333

i haven't cut it out completely (i really don't think i'd be able to) but i'm still doing much better, i've cut down from 6 shots per cup to only 2. i've also changed my sleep/eating habits so now i don't feel like i need the caffeine as much because i just don't feel as shit anymore.

it's been very nice :3

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Marbit for the ship bingo! :D

Oh Marbit my beloveds

Looking for stuff about them is what got me into this fandom a year ago.

They way Two-Bit and Marcia just click, with the same humor right off the bat, and then suddenly for just a minute they’re not rough greasers with too-long sideburns and switchblades or pristine Soc girls dressed in white who get preyed on by greasers like Dallas. They’re just a couple of people who speak the same language, who have the same quick wit.

Augh, they kill me. Two-Bit usually only goes for blondes, but Marcia’s a brunette and one of “two good-lookin’ girls if I ever saw any.” Two-Bit’s a tough hood, but Marcia jokes with him like they’re old friends. She gives him her number.

And then as soon as they’re apart, they’re back to being a tough hood and a clean Soc. He tears up her number. He must’ve been crazy to ask for it. She drives home with Randy. (She wishes he was more interesting.) The phone doesn’t ring, and why would it? She was so stupid to give a hood her phone number. He probably sweet talks like that to every girl. Her number’s probably just one of so many others, and she’s so dumb for falling for it.

And then Bob is dead. Two-Bit gets jumped by Socs, and there’s a rumble, and Randy doesn’t wanna be a Soc anymore. And maybe Marcia doesn’t either.

Randy goes off to school, grows a beard, buys a VW. Marcia stays in Tulsa. She’s not a Soc anymore. She’s just- she’s just Marcia.

She goes down to the drive-in for old-times sake. There’s a guy there with Cherry’s friend, that Ponykid or something. He’s real familiar. She’s drinking a bit, she’s bolder than usual, she gives him her number and tells him not to lose it this time. And he doesn’t.

I’m an optimist, so I like to think they’ll last. Not without ups and downs, of course. In fact, I think there’s a solid period where they spilt up. But they keep coming back to each other, and Two-Bit works hard to become what he feels she deserves.

Idk, they matter to me. They’re the excitement of sneaking into someone’s house through the window. They’re the fun of telling jokes back and forth. They’re that feeling of looking at someone and seeing they’re thinking what you’re thinking. Their whole world is an inside joke. She’s his uptown girl, he’s her downtown man. They’re just a lot of fun!

[transingthoseformers]

The people wish to know more about my TF1 Tarn, and i shall provide!

Unlike Megatron, Tarn is not very impressed with Megatronus or any of the other Primes. After all, Megatronus couldn't even handle Sentinel, whom his glorious leader took down with vastly less combat training. He shapes himself in Megatronus's image primarily to appeal to Megatron (yeah, he's a bit obsessed, but that's nothing new for Tarn).

Tarn's a bit taken aback to find out how much Megatron still idolizes Megatronus, and hopes he'll 'grow out of it' one day. He thinks Megatron is simply unable to see how much obviously better he is than Megatronus. That being said, Tarn also understands that Megatronus's image is an integral part of the Decepticon branding. Thus while Megatron is distorting Megatronus's image with good intentions, Tarn very deliberately wants Megatronus's face and name to mean 'Decepticon' to people and for his original legacy to be forgotten. That's his other reason for stealing Megatronus's face - to show that it literally and figuratively belongs to the Decepticons now.

Tarn i think would not start out with the high guard, but instead be one of the cogless miners that receives a cog at the end of the movie. He approves of Megatron's message and ruthlessness, and chooses to follow the Decepticons into exile, deciding like Megatron that living under any Prime is not true freedom. Megatron is instantly approving of him - few bots would choose to leave Cybertron just as it's once again becoming prosperous to instead pursue a hard life of war.

Starscream is NOT happy about this at all. It's been a given for a long time that everybot in the High Guard is only looking out for themselves. Having a mech who WANTS to serve Megatron introduces ideas of loyalty, which will cement Megatron as their leader and further thwart Starscream's efforts to take back his position (already difficult after his public defeat and embarrassment).

Of course, since Tarn is both loyal and competent in battle he quickly reaches his desired position of Megatron's second in command (Soundwave in this continuity is fairly lukewarm towards Megatron, at least to start off, so Tarn kind of takes his usual place). Starscream manages to attain third-in-command status with his skill, but he's absolutely furious about the fact that Tarn ranks above him. This actually pushes Starscream to return to scientific pursuits - he never finished his education and affected the image of a brutish warrior to increase his status in the High Guard, but now Megatron and Tarn have him thoroughly beat in that department and he needs other skills to fall back on. It annoys Tarn that since he's an uneducated miner, there's nothing he can do to rival Starscream in this department.

Because Megatron also never received any kind of formal education, Starscream's intelligence both impresses and consternates him, since he needs to avoid looking like a fool in front of his troops. If only he'd snuck into the archives now and again like-

Well. No point in worrying about the past.

So he knows full goddamn well what he's doing

Interesting. Interesting.

Tarn being an official part of decepticon high command surely has consequences

Though, all of this has consequences

There's very interesting dynamics at play here, especially since Megatron and Tarn both started out as miners before the war here

Ohhhhohoh you cannot tell me that Tarn doesn't have Feelings about Megatron's peculiar connection to Optimus here, about how Megatron talks about Orion Pax.

Starscream leaning more into his scientist role here will be interesting, and I'm kinda curious what his dynamic with Shockwave might be here, especially since tfone Shockwave doesn't seem especially sciencey this time around??

Could be interesting to see what role Soundwave ends up taking if he's not directly in decepticon high command (maybe he'll lean more into the communications officer thing? Or even a more spy heavy route?)

Interesting. Fascinating. I feel like this will not end well :)

[loumandaniel]

tbh while louis reaffirming his companionship with armand in san francisco is clearly a parallel to him agreeing to stay with lestat for claudia's turning, i'm more mixed on whether that applies to the paris bench scene based on what's shown and other interpretations of it. in that same evening before claudia confronted him, louis was still upset that armand's display of power with the coven reminded him of lestat's grand gestures followed by groveling. before louis didn't say anything in claudia's defense while she was scolded onstage, instead shooting her a look and going back to reading. he only chose to speak up for her later when he himself felt disrespected by armand. however when he learns about armand's history, there's a troubled and sympathetic expression on his face and dreamstat becomes noticeably more quiet. by the time claudia met up with him to complain that she was threatened, louis didn't take her concerns seriously, told her they could trust armand and reminded her that she left louis for the coven.

that being said, i don't doubt that claudia was still on his mind even as he made his choice. when advised to leave paris, he turned down that option, probably assuming he could have his new companionship while still being close to claudia and in his words 'everyone's gonna be happy'. of course we all know how loumand turned out in the years that followed and the fragile state of their relationship that led to daniel being spared as a testament. however the notion that louis' primary reason for entering another companionship at the end of 2x04 was to, according to some fans, 'martyr himself for claudia'? isn't that convincing imo and it doesn't really align with cast and crew commentary on what happened either.

i don't like the idea that louis was martyring for claudia on the bench either. louis wanted armand - simple as that. i think multiple things can be true for the bench scene though. louis' relationships in paris are the most complicated ones to me, and i think there's layers rather than one singular answer. he wants claudia, he wants armand, he wants everyone happy. i think that him embracing armand's companionship was him believing everybody could win here. armand and louis could have each other, and he could help settle the tension claudia (and armand) were experiencing in the coven. again, santiago, a white man, was lording his status over them, and louis' offer to help armand with the coven came from his own familiarity with navigating around white men who seek power. the bench scene has so much going on in it.

the example you give of the time louis doesn't defend her is part of claudia's and louis' complicated relationship to me. claudia isn't a child and she resents being treated as such; that's a core part of her character. the extent of what claudia was suffering from, louis was ignorant about while caught up in the whirlwind that was paris and his new freedom. claudia is almost fifty years old by this time and louis was trying to respect that. but, louis cannot stop thinking of her as his daughter, even after she's tried to instill herself as his sistercoven. i think he thought they were both experiencing a happy, new chance, away from their past, until claudia brought him back to reality. i mean, isn't that what claudia is always doing for him?

it's really important to point out that he DOES have claudia on his mind when he lets lestat go, when he has armand come to him. their fight about armand is what leads to him calling out to him in the first place. it isn't a coincidence that scene happens right before. that doesn’t mean that the biggest reason for it isn’t an inherently selfish need to have both armand and claudia at the same time. unfortunately, i think the events that come after were already in motion and louis finally embraced what he'd wanted the entire time too late.