#tl;dr not bad!

[feroluce]

Not to make everything about my ship, but if I don't do it no one will, so today we are making meta analysis of Boothill's faceoff match about henghill, because the differences between Boothill's stand off with Luka and his one with Dan Heng- and what you can infer about Boothill himself and what catches his eye in a person- makes me chew concrete.

JUST. I loved the scene between Luka and Boothill so much. I love how wildly unrestrained Boothill is. He really just shoved the barrel of his gun in his opponent's face and put the fear of death into him as a way to test Luka's resolve. I utterly adore him. I hope he does it again. Anyway.

When confronted with all this, Luka freezes. His stress-induced hallucinations were already bad, but you can see how they really ramp up in this match, because before, they were always something familiar. Previous enemies became Silvermanes, or Belobogian automatons, or even Cocolia. Luka is far from home for the first time in his life, and he's so terribly homesick his brain is making everything familiar, because that is what he's desperately craving right now.

But Boothill.

Boothill is something so new, and unique, and horrific and terrifying, that he becomes something entirely unknown to Luka. His hallucination manifests as Something Unto Death, as the very fear of death itself.

And this stand off (which I love so much that this is how this match progressed, because like that's literally just Boothill's in-game skill; he locks the enemy into a one-on-one duel, so this was extremely in character for him) lasts long enough that Owlbert starts having to fill in the silence over the loudspeaker,

and even Boothill himself starts trying to push Luka into making a decision one way or the other.

Given that Boothill is a hunter by trade and is proven to have all the patience to track his prey and then some, this was more for Luka's sake than any impatience on his part, to try to shove him out of his freeze reaction.

And Boothill isn't really hard to read throughout this whole exchange, he all but says outright what he's looking for.

Boothill wants to see him surpass this test and come at him! You can see it in his face when Luka finally takes a step! And in how he congratulates him!

And then he fucking shot him snxhsjksjsn

Boothill admires courage, and bravery, and decisiveness. He admires a person's ability to put their life on the line and still fight in the face of danger and overwhelming odds. Those are the things that catch his eye.

And Luka does kind of get there eventually, but it is a stalling, halting motion that gets him there, and he fell to pieces immediately afterwards. This is his first time with this, and he's still figuring it out.

Dan Heng, on the other hand.

Boothill's stand off with Dan Heng from 2.2 is so fucking far in the total opposite direction that it is HILARIOUS.

Boothill literally breaks into the Astral Express, ambushes Dan Heng, and Dan Heng still has the balls to not only demand info out of Boothill- like doesn't even ask nicely, demands it- he also just straight up calls Boothill a liar. Right to his face! And he still isn't nice about it!!

By the way, that entire conversation? This is how it takes place.

Boothill, phrasing!!

Boothill has him at gunpoint! Dan Heng does not have his weapon with him! He does not flinch, and even stands there with his arms crossed seeming simultaneously pissed and utterly unimpressed. He looks like he should be irritably tapping his foot and looking down his nose at him. Dan Heng could not give less of a shit.

For that matter, Dan Heng even turns his back and walks away from Boothill- right in the middle of him talking, too! Not a single attempt to be considerate of the man who could decide any moment he feels like decorating the wall with Dan Heng's brains.

Dan Heng is brave and courageous and completely unflappable in the face of danger. He is ruthless and decisive in how he conducts himself, even when staring down the barrel of a gun. And through his efforts in Penacony, he shows the ability to put his life on the line and fight through overwhelming odds to save his once-in-a-lifetime companions.

No wonder Dan Heng caught Boothill's eye the way he did, no wonder the two of them were working together and bantering not even minutes after Boothill pulled a gun on him haha

[f4gwithf4ngs]

currently smothering my face in a pillow because AAAHHHH I WANNA KISS A BOY!!!! I WANNA KISS A BOY SO BAD!!!! MAYBE MAKEOUT A LITTLE… AAAHHHHH

[genericpuff]

those of us who have read the fastpass know how false this advertising is LMAOO

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I used to despise Eridan and think he was the absolute worst character (barring Cronus ig) but you have shown me the light and completely turned my opinion around and now I think he is such an endearing little freak <3 I read your whole blog already but if you've got any more thoughts on eri or anyone else then I hope you post them bc I'd love to hear more abt it!

i have sooo many controversial opinions about the dancestors you have noooooo idea

[lissa612]

No, but really…Why bring in a character with such potential to fit in with the main cast of characters and then never use that? A character who could add a new dimension to the overall excitement of the show and then not capitalize on it?

[equalperson]

BTW "destigmatizing mental illness" doesn't just mean being tolerant when someone says they have a psychiatric diagnosis or go to therapy, it also means investigating how your own view of "evil" may overlap with the signs of madness.

this is because the mainstream idea of what a "bad person" looks like is heavily influenced by sanism, thus most people's perception of what makes someone bad is literally just them being mentally disabled.

to support the crazy, you must accept that grandiosity, delusionality, attention-seeking, rage, homicidal ideation, and many similar experiences are not inherently dangerous. likewise, you must also understand that love and empathy are not the ultimate goods that everyone makes them out to be.

madness can easily be an abundance of the former and a lack of the latter, not just the quiet insecurity that most people reference when they talk about "mental health."

ultimately, the world will never be a truly safe place until it's a widely acknowledged fact that there's no such thing as villainous cognition or emotionality; prejudice is the source of all evil, not abnormality.

[lazylittledragon]

Feel free to ignore if this is intruding but I remember you posting about dealing with caffeine addiction and I hope you're doing ok <3 Addiction is really hard to deal with so I hope everything is going alright for you!

!! thank you for checking in <3333

i haven't cut it out completely (i really don't think i'd be able to) but i'm still doing much better, i've cut down from 6 shots per cup to only 2. i've also changed my sleep/eating habits so now i don't feel like i need the caffeine as much because i just don't feel as shit anymore.

it's been very nice :3

[hoofpeet]

I'd probably have to read the printed version and web version back to back at some point to note all the differences but... ough

[lordcaptains]

heinrix is an interrogator, an agent of the holy ordos and an acolyte of a lord inquisitor, but he doesn't seem to particularly enjoy causing pain. 

on kiava gamma, when heinrix encounters the lexmechanic with the corrupted cogitator, no matter what he decides to do in the end, he hesitates. "the corner of his mouth twitches involuntarily." when the lexmechanic pleads for mercy, heinrix hesitates again. later on, he can elaborate.

"My pskyer abilities allow me to affect the human body. It is one of the most effective tools against individuals who resist questioning. But if you're suggesting that I 'want' to use it - I think you are getting a little ahead of yourself."

if he meets the rogue trader's heretical doppelganger, heinrix even remarks how nice it would be if the enemies of humanity would just admit their misdeeds unprompted.

"Emperor, why do you so rarely send me the heretics who are that eager to confess? My job would be so much easier."

so heinrix doesn't seem to particularly enjoy causing pain. he is, however, very, very good at it. so good he doesn't have to lay a hand on calcazar's manservant to get him to talk - his reputation is enough. and heinrix takes pride in being a skilled interrogator, in serving the imperium and protecting humanity from its enemies. 

being good at his job means it's okay that he's alive.

heinrix earnestly believes what the imperium teaches - that as a psyker, his existence is anathema, only excused by his usefulness. and he's determined to be useful.

when heinrix attacks the guard standing in his way on footfall, he's doing what any agent of the golden throne would have done. he can admit he regrets acting that way, or he can state he did what had to be done. if heinrix brings emelina in, he does so because it is standard inquisition procedure. if heinrix kills her, he does it to spare her from being tortured, either by his own hand or anyone else's.

heinrix's duty is to be harsh. his desire is to be merciful.

"I haven't said I would not like to be able to afford such luxury. In fact, deep down I understand why you acted that way… I have yet to eliminate the understanding and acceptance within myself, but I will."

(the exception to this, of course, is xenos. heinrix hates xenos, and he will happily cause them as much pain as he can.)

[mewwfr]

Oh my god, staff.....

This auraboa issue with the lore being (most likely) unintentionally racist is especially maddening to me, because the concept they seem to want to portray (based purely on the encyclopedia entry) is very similar to an OC I have, and so I can say with experience, it's incredibly difficult to convey! ESPECIALLY when you try to portray it inside a short story where you're cutting lines for word count (their forum reply mentioned they left out some lines to keep it short)

Instead of getting across the concept the encyclopedia entry seems to allude to, the short story just accidentally walks into like 10 racism rakes in a row and its truly agonizing for me to watch, knowing what i assume the actual lore's intent is.

encyclopedia quote: "Older generations of Auraboa existed in a constant state of communion with their fellows. They refer to this connection as The Loop. In this persistent state they perceive time and memory in a non-linear manner; their intertwined considerations for past and present events are such that it became difficult for a dragon outside The Loop to grasp the intentions of these ancient wyrms."

what seems to be the intention is that the auraboa are a hivemind that doesn't experience time the same way other dragons do- they experience past, present, and future all at once and thus cannot communicate well NOT because they have a different language, but because they aren't experiencing TIME ITSELF in the same fashion as the dragons! However, in practice, in the story, the auraboa seem to speak with words in the proper order, just haltingly, since otherwise the story itself couldn't work at all.

another encyclopedia bit: "The newest generation of Auraboa is not linked to The Loop in their waking hours. While they move through the world, they are less directly accessible and read as "silent" to Auraboa who are within the communal state. This disconnection has allowed the young Auraboa to experience time in a linear fashion, and with this new understanding they have begun to form connections with other species of dragon that have never before been possible."

The encyclopedia seems more clear about the Linear Time thing, and that being why they can actually communicate sensibly, but in the act of having a story where the older ones DO communicate with the outside dragons and get a point across, they've kind of not shown the reason why dragons and auraboa COULDNT communicate before! which is! a big thing!

If they'd implemented the auraboa speaking with everything in the wrong order instead of halting single words at a time, i feel like the intention would get across better. As it is, it just smacks them directly into the 'simple native' stereotype with a truly awful tripping into the 'having our kids be taught by outsiders' which is. a really wretched parallel, as many native people have spoken of the unimaginable violence of residential schools.

I feel like the encyclopedia entry Alone isn't nearly as awful (still not great, but not as bad) as the extremely poorly implemented story that managed to ddr dance onto a bunch of horrible tropes.

they were literally so bad at conveying the fact that the auraboa are a hivemind that is unmoored from time, that i see people misinterpreting the lore as auraboa having their own weird language that other dragons can't understand! there was not enough effort put into conveying the ideas they tried to convey, and what WAS put forward was literally chock full of the most unfortunate parallels physically possible.

[pareidolla]

For the bingo game!! I'll let someone else ask you about Broken, what are your thoughts on Smitten?

polite dearest i am so sorry for taking forever to answer! here's scarlet hollow smitten - i ruminated on it a bit and decided smitten talking to animals is very, very funny ♡ vv excited to finish up his stp design i think he's coming along very cute

and oh right my opinion of...! smitten...! wowie, isn't he just... a character... who exists...

yeah, i'm sorry, i have to confess that i've never loved smitten the way everyone else does, and i feel terrible about it. he's cute! he's funny! his little "narrator!" towards the end of razor makes me stim. everyone has turned on him after the epilogue, and i'm like now you're thinking he's creepy? the "in a way, we still got a romantic end" comment after we tried stabbing thorn didn't hint to the fact that maybe he's kinda a major freak?

and its the combination of his uncomfortable lines mixed with the fanbase's reception to him that really sours the character for me. i adore characters who are toxic and weird about love (milgram mahiru shiina >>>) but everywhere i look, i see supporters defending his behavior or high-fiving him for being the haha funny simp guy, which drives me crazy. esp smitten fans who hated broken for having an unhealthy love for the princess, but hail smitten as a chad for it. actually makes me gag.

but despite being my least favorite voice, i think it's a shame we don't have more of him. in particular, i was truly rooting for him to be an extra voice in fury-adversary. the devs have explained we get cold because we're telling vera we love her while denying what makes her happy, but she should have been able to say it to our faces! i want him to properly adore a big monster princess without it functionally being a joke, to deal with not wanting to harm her but wanting her to be happy, and to have his shit repeatedly demolished by her. justice for smitten honestly

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

I love the new chaoter, but I’m having a hard time visualizing Xingqius injury. If it’s not too much trouble, can I ask for a bit more detail for that scene? Also, was it healing or uh. A full resurrection art because Qiqi can fully revive teammates at c6. Very curious about how bad it was by the time the two were in position to help him.

putting it under a cut just in case the description ends up being a bit too graphic for some (understandable) (but also it turned out a bit too long so that too)

this will all come up in the next chapter i'm pretty sure? but probably not in a lot of detail, so i see no problem in just telling you here. can't really think of it as spoilers so

(i feel like i should also preface this with the fact that i'm not a doctor, so take the accuracy and feasibility of all this as artistic liberties hahah;;)

xingqiu got slashed downwards, which means the blade entered through the lower part of his shoulderblade and crossed a good chunk of his back until it swiped off near the end of his ribcage, like this:

(the line isn't 100% accurate in placement bc i made it w the mouse but you get the idea)

the blade cut five of his ribs, a chunk of his shoulderblade, and like three discs of his spine. since it cut through the ribs, it also managed to get to his right lung, and cut open a good gash on it. as you can imagine it tore nerves and tendons and muscles along the way. now, there's also the fact that the blade used was a spiritual weapon, which means it was imbued with energy and very literal very tangible killing intent, which means it also sent a sort of… shock, through xingqiu's spiritual channels (which while not strictly undeveloped, are like still on the process of being trained if that makes any sense. he can't use any spells yet but he will soon). think of it like being electrocuted while he was at it.

so basically by the time zhongli got to him, not only was his body in shock from the pain and the fall face-first to the ground (which only made his fractured and broken ribs and spine and open lung worse), but he was also in a different kind of shock from the energetic assault from the blade to his functionally undeveloped spiritual channels. with the blood from the wound getting into his cut lung (and the pain and the shock) making it hard for him to breathe, xingqiu had been more or less on his last breaths there. if the blade hand't been a spiritual weapon he wouln't have been on death's door so quickly, but alas.

when zhongli and qiqi got there they essentially had two options: use a normal healing spell to keep him from dying and leave the rest of the tedious healing to baizhu and co. (co. here being mostly time ngl) and risk xingqiu sustaining lasting consequences AND traumatizing a bunch of them by the severity of the injury, OR- have qiqi use a direct resurrection rite, since while not quite dead just yet, xingqiu had been more or less slipping away when they got there. like normal medicine wouldn't have been able to save him basically, since his spiritual channels were attacked and those were a good part of the problem. using the resurrection rite would've not only guaranteed his surivival regardless of further treatment (normal or spiritual), but it would've also saved him from most if not all consequences and spared everyone a good chunk of the trauma (if not all of it)

zhongli didn't know for sure whether this world's baizhu used spiritual healing or just normal medicine, so he couldn't risk the first option on that front either (because while yes normal medicine would've still somewhat worked there, it would've left xingqiu with lasting consequences no matter what, and even worse consequences at that), not to mention all the other drawbacks of it too. so basically either they used a normal spell and put xingqiu's normalcy on the line, or used a resurrection rite and pretended zhongli did it to make sure everything would turn out fine

for the record, baizhu does use spiritual healing. idk if it's ever gonna come up, but he's a student of chansheng here, who is a master in one of the chenyu clans (and a human. he does also have a pet snake. unrelated lmao). since lingmeng guhua is technically a chenyu clan, that's why he gets called to these events, bc they all sort of know eachother.

anyway- i hope that made sense? hopefully that answered your question hahah;;

[ratwithhands]

Fun fact I used to consume a lot of Land of the Lustrous stuff.

Anyways this is one of my many Land of the Lustrous OCs, Vivianite. Mohs hardness of 1.5, dark green/blue in colour, and very old. Due to the nature of his weak composition, Vivianite can't actually do much of anything, and has had to live under very specific conditions.

Vivianite wears a tight full body uniform to hold any chipped pieces in place, and is kept in a box stuffed with loose cloth to ensure minimal damage. If he comes into contact with light, he begins to oxidize and darken, so he's kept in a windowless room with curtains over the entrance.

That's all to say he's isolated and bored. He spends much of his time inactive, but he'll jump at the opportunity for conversation if there's someone around. Certain gems visit him to chat, get guidance, or give him the recent news. A task given to some gems is to clear his room of dust, and maybe bring him some books if he's up for it.

Vivian sees himself as an older sibling/friend to many of the other gems, and as such he's very keen on providing a listening ear and giving advice where possible to those who need it. He's essentially emotional support in a can.

Other notes/details:

not all gems know Vivian exists! He's hidden away so most gems wouldn't see him unless they were actively looking for him. A lot of the older ones know about him, but the younger ones don't

Rutile is endlessly tired of having to glue him back together so often due to his softness, which is part of why he has a tighter uniform to keep all his broken pieces in place

Vivian struggles with walking, he tends to be slow and stumbly

the tanks in Vivian's room are for jellyfish. Gems who are sent to clean his room have to switch out the jellyfish too. They're there to provide a faint light source so he doesn't go completely inactive

Vivian, despite living in a box in the dark, has a lot of technical knowledge about things as a result of millennia of going through the library collection. He' a living encyclopedia and can usually offer some answers if a gem has questions on a particular subject

his internal structure is basically a lot of shards stuck together like fibers, so he does minor repairs on himself by affixing strands of his hair into empty spots. He's had his fingers repaired and replaced this way often

In the few instances where Vivian has gone outside, he has an abnormally high amount of energy as a result of his inclusions being able to work at full capacity in the light

If I remember anything else I'll add it, anyways have a good day!

[camels-pen]

the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?

Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.

Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.

With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.

So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.

[gjsxj0]

*posts gay people and leaves*

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I know we skirt around and sometimes talk about the ~trauma~ of it all, but I think seeing how loudly Taylor and Travis support each other on main (while still carving out a private life together) really starts to illuminate to an even clearer degree how many of Taylor's choices and actions were a response to all of ~that~ in the last decade or so (and particularly since 2016).

Again, which is not to say it's all bad, and many of them were choices she needed to make at the time for her own health and I'm sure there are some things from the time period she's continued to keep with her, but it's just really striking that she's, like, in full bloom now. And as a lot of people here are saying, she's probably more like herself these days than she'd been in the last decade. It's getting to the point (at least for me) that sometimes I can't even imagine her the way she was in the last few years because she just seems soooooo much more comfortable in her own skin. Which is silly, because that was as much her as the person she is now, she is an amalgamation of all those parts of her (just like any other person is).

But you just see *how much* she just loves so freely -- not just romantically but in everything she does -- and it's even sadder to think about how she felt like she had to slice off all these parts of her and like she had to accept a certain way of living (and being loved) in order to survive and have a life of her own.

I'm just really happy for her that she seems to be healing every passing day and is just embracing everything coming her way.

ok gonna word vomit more in the tags