#tired of continually ‘learning lessons’ from relationships

[neosappho]

all i want is to be loved to have someone look at me and my faults and love me

i want to feel like im enough like the space i take up matters and im not too much and i dont have to prove that

is that selfish to ask is it unrealistic to hope for is love without condition just a dream or have i done something to lose that privilege

[venusbyline]

Whore ࿐ྂ Kinktober. 21, oct.

(late post) ♡ part 1

— pairing: Spencer Reid x girlfriend!reader

— type: smut, Kinktober (Criminal Minds Edition)

— kink: edging play

— summary: You are tired of Spencer's brat behavior and decide to give him a taste of his own medicine. After all, despite everything, he will always be your little whore at the end of the day.

— word count: 2.2k

— tags/warnings: kinktober 21st day, female!reader, boyfriend!Reid, edging play, orgasm denial, degradation, praise kink, drunk sex, reader is a member of the BAU, argument, handjob, jealously, cock worship, body worship, slapping, punishment, crying, dacryphilia, semi-public sex, teasing, implied/referenced cheating (BUT NO REALLY), drunken flirting, relationship issues, trust issues, BAU Team mentioned, minor JJ x Prentiss, minor Reid x JJ (BUT NO REALLY), lesbian!JJ mentioned, brat!Reid, brat tamer!reader, light sadism, light hurt/comfort, masochist!Reid, sub!Reid, dom!reader, long hair!Reid/Jesus!Reid. no use of y/n. english is not my first language.

— tagging list: @thatredlipped-classic @purplehaze206 @ehedrick012110 @hotchsmutrecs @slutcakes00 @emma-e-a @helo1281917

— crossposting: AO3

Going to a pub with the rest of the BAU team had been a bad decision. A decision that Spencer made by impulse, always enjoying making you jealous when he was a little bored. He had promised that night you two could finally finish watching the new TV show released on Netflix, but instead he convinced you to go with him to drink with your friends.

Despite the slight disappointment of having to change your schedule for the night, you did not mind too much. You loved having fun with the team and you were almost sure Spencer had learned his lesson after the last punishment when you sat on his face for hours, riding him and using his lips to reach your orgasm, as if he was nothing but your favorite sex toy. And indeed he really was and loved to be that for you.

However, Spencer was also a spoiled little whore. Accepting Morgan's invitation to go with the BAU friends to the pub was supposed to be a true fun time. If he had not fucked up everything by flirting with JJ, you really could have had fun with all of them instead of spending every fifteen minutes drinking a new glass of wine. He wanted to get a reaction out of you, something that would make you mad at him again and making him receive the best orgasm of his whole life, as always happened.

At first, you tried to ignore it. JJ distanced herself from him, also not really liking his not-so-innocent flirting. She did not want you to think she was actually interested about your boyfriend. JJ was the type of woman who was more interested especially about Emily, but also about Garcia and even you sometimes. Reid was not even interested in his friend too, it was all only to tease you. But it was still uncomfortable and no one of the group wanted to be in the middle of the possible argument that would ensue if Spencer continued acting with that childish behavior.

When JJ began to ignore the flirting, Spencer sighed with frustration, drinking his whiskey and looking around the establishment. He saw a beautiful curvy woman sitting alone, also drinking the same whiskey. Noticing his gaze, she smirked, fiddling with her long blonde hair before waving at the shy Spencer.

Morgan's attention immediately went to Spencer, noticing how he giggled at the woman's invitation and handed the promise ring to Morgan, who put it inside his jeans pocket before snorting. "Fuck. That's enough, Pretty Boy. You're really crossing the line now."

Morgan knew about Reid's way of attracting your dominant side. He did not think it was all bad, but he also knew that sometimes his friend crossed some limits. And this was something much more serious than the last few situations. "It's just harmless flirting, dude. You know I love my darling more than anything and anyone in this whole world." Spencer defended himself, really annoyed that Morgan thought he was thinking about cheating the woman who had his heart in the palm of her hands.

"Anyway, Reid. This isn't cool, man. You're already making things tense by trying to flirt with JJ in front of everyone. And now you're still gonna do it while your fucking girlfriend's in the bathroom? What kind of gentleman are you?" It was Prentiss's turn to argue, crossing her arms disapprovingly. "It just makes you look like a terrible boyfriend. Actually, it's a real shame for us, for her and for yourself..."

Spencer's eyes widened with shock. He had never seen things this way. He knew he was acting bratty and spoiled, flirting for fun just to get your punishment. Most of the time, Spencer thought you liked the adrenaline rush. However, looking at the real view, he was starting to worry that you were actually hurt by him. Anyone who did not know the two of you well would think he was an cheating man who did not even respect his own girlfriend in public.

"Oh, holy shit..." He sighed in frustration, rubbing his hand over his face, trying to ward off the effects of the alcohol. Spencer looked at each of the older agents, the slight anger in Morgan and Emily faces, the disappointment in Hotch, Garcia and Rossi eyes, and the clear discomfort in JJ's flushed cheeks, which most of the time was the focus of his annoying advances. "Damn, Jen. I sure I'm just-"

Spencer was about to apologize to his friend, but stopped when he heard laughter. A laugh he knew all too well. The entire team looked back, Spencer's face turning pale as he saw a man with an arm around your waist as you two walked to the table. He tried to say anything, anything at all, but all he could think about was how much stronger the man was than him, practically the same height but with a huge difference in muscles, his large hand clasped around your waist as if you were a little doll.

"Guys, this is Nicholas. Or Nick. As I prefer to call him. We met at a coffee shop a few days ago. Nick, these are my teammates at the BAU." You smiled, hands on his strong arm that was bursting out of his white shirt.

"Hey..." The man said with an attempt at a friendly smile, but he did not quite manage it. Spencer was profiling him too well to know that Nicholas was trying his best not to let his arousal show through the shorts he wore, due to your warm hand on his skin.

Spencer waited for you to introduce himself as your boyfriend, to tell the stupid boy that you were his girl. However, the brief look you gave his empty finger was enough to let him know you were nor going to do that. Spencer internally cursed himself for taking off the damn ring and giving it to Morgan. That stupid plan to flirt with the blonde girl in the other part of the pub had already evaporated from his mind, but the consequences were just coming.

After some more time of small talk, Nicholas finally left, saying he needed to get back to the house because he had to study for a casting audition the next morning. The agents said goodbye to him with friendly waves, while Spencer continued with that angry stare, his bad mood only getting worse when Nicholas gave you a brief grab on your ass and a soft kiss on your cheek, humming something like "See you another day, princess" and coming out as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

The atmosphere became tenser after the same moment that the pub bell rang to announce Nicholas's departure. "Well, I guess my girlfriend's nothing but a fucking greedy whore..." Before anyone could argue, you grabbed Spencer's arm without any usual tenderness. Morgan even tried to get up to help both of you resolve the situation, afraid that it would escalate into a violent argument. Even though he trusted his best friends, the thought of a stubborn couple fighting after drinking so much whiskey and wine made him apprehensive, but Hotch motioned for him to remain seated, indicating that the argument was none of their business. The entire team knew Spencer and you well enough to know what would happen in the pub bathroom.

"You really think you've any right to call me a whore?" You growled, your hand unbuttoning the khakis that Reid was wearing, listening to him whimper and try to cover the damp spot on his white boxers. He wanted to keep arguing. He wanted to stay angry as hell after your intentional flirt with that idiot playboy. Spencer really doubted that Nicholas was as smart as he was. Or that Nicholas had as many bachelor's degrees and doctorates as he had. "You think you've the right to call me a fucking greedy whore, when you're the one who's always teasing me, hitting on all the women just to piss me off?"

Your fist closed around his cock, already turned on and sensitive just from the tension of the fight. Spencer tried. He really tried hard to take control. But that had been impossible after you dragged him through the halls while he was calling Nicholas a "stupid actor" and saying you were a cockslut desperate for male attention. Anyway, the wiser reaction was being pushing him against the wall of the women's bathroom — fortunately empty thanks to the few people in the establishment.

"And you are, darling. You're a little whore..." Spencer growled, closing his eyes so he would not watch how your hand moved so quickly on his cock, pinky and needy of your touch, already dripping and proving that he was your little whore, and not the other way around.

"Oh, am I?" You increased the speed, the natural lubrication that dripped from his glans not being enough to stop the slight stinging that came with the friction. It was like rubbing himself raw, and yet Spencer moaned, rolling over his eyes with the ache, whimpering for more. “You look like a noisy slut.” You spat on his cock to ease the pain he was enjoying. On the one hand it was good, as the burning subsided and your saliva was cold from the wine you drank before the argument. But on the other hand, Spencer pouted at the lack of agony and the way you began to rub him slowly. "You like it when it hurts so bad, don't you?"

Your mockery made Spencer bite his lip and smirk, his cheeks flushed with a look that indicated how much he always enjoyed suffering at your hands. He lifted his hips forward and you watched with a raised eyebrow as he fucked himself inside your hand, his hips starting slowly and enjoying the way you let him use your fist to pleasure himself. You did not even need to move, seeing his slutty smile and head arched back, his jaw line forming such a perfect angle that you had to stop yourself from moaning at the sight.

When Spencer's hip movements started to get faster and more erratic, you huffed and took your hand away from his crotch, the soft sound of his cock hitting back against his own thin stomach mixing with the sound of your boyfriend's whimpers.

"You see now? You're nothing but a brainless brat, Spencer. Can't you even ask me to cum? You always have to make a mess? Can't you do anything right?" You practically yelled and he sobbed, squirming against the wall and ignoring the cold tile pressed against his pretty ass.

"I'm so sorry, darling..." He sobbed again, one hand trying to touch himself and the other running through your hair as a way of wanting to beg you for forgiveness, but without saying that.

"Yeah, you should feel that way."

The sad pout appeared on Spencer's lips again. He should not have called you a whore. He should not have arguing with you for letting Nicholas flirt right in front of him, when he teased you like that all the time too. In fact, Spencer had realized that he should not have extended this kind of teasing for so long. He had crossed boundaries and made your relationship stressful. Spencer knew you were hurt by this now and he could not blame you.

"Darling..." He tried to touch you, but you pulled away, spitting into your palm and wrapping your fingers around his girth for the third time, hearing his eager whine. You knew he was just jealous, actually always feeling insecure and wanting punishments. However, you did not want to hear anything right now. You pulled his shirt up, forcing the fabric over his mouth, which he bit against his will, despite the tears in his eyes. Tears that were both of relief at being touched again and sadness at knowing that you did not even want to hear his apologies.

"Stay like that. Like the jealous and needy little slut you are." You ordered, kneeling on the floor in front of Spencer and staring at the sight. His wide teary eyes, his teeth biting into his shirt, his flushed cheeks and his long hair damp with sweat... And most of all, his skinny body and belly contracting in anticipation, your nimble fingers caressing the reddish head of his cock with a smirk on your face, lightly licking the tip and hearing a muffled whimper escaping from those pretty swollen lips. "I'm gonna tease you for as long as I want. And you can just cum when I tell you to, you understand?"

The sharp slap you gave his thigh made Spencer sob with both pain and pleasure, pulsing in your hand as he nodded with some desperation. He needed this. He needed to cum. He needed to be a good boy for you. Your own little whore.

"That's it, my good boy." Despite your anger, you actually smiled for the first time since the whole damn mess started, pressing a soft kiss to the red mark on his skin where you hit him. And Spencer's cheeks flushed, not just because of the horny, but also because he loved you so much. He would be your good boyfriend again.

Criminal Minds Edition - Masterlist

HOTD Edition - Masterlist

Venusbyline's Kinktober 2024 - Masterlist

[rainydayathogwarts]

James Potter - Jealousy, jealousy

Summary: You kiss Lucius to make James jealous since he was too slow at making a move... wc: 800 ish

James thought that the best way to approach a new relationship - or rather the girl he liked - was by taking it slow. At least, that was the lesson he'd learned with Lily, who got easily tired of his attempts to woo her. But now, as he sat with Remus and Sirius in the Room of Requirements, the party blasting around them, he realised that maybe that wasn't what you wanted.

How did he know?

Well, one could argue that by the way you had your hand on Lucius Malfoy's chest, your own chest brushing up against his while you fluttered your eyes at him, you preferred that men had a more straight-forward approach with you. "Mate you've got to stop staring that hard." Commented Sirius, handing him another drink. James mumbled something incoherent under his breath, interrupted by Remus adding on "You're going to burn holes right through her tits." James broke his gaze from you, turning abruptly to look at Remus "I'm not staring at her tits, I just- I know she likes me back so why? Why him?"

He barely heard Marlene laugh from beside him, patting his shoulder with fake sympathy "Oh yeah, I wonder, why him? It's almost as though she's trying to make you jealous or something." She paused while watching James' face, and when she got no look of realisation from it, she sighed, continuing "You know, because you hate him?"

James shook his head "No, she wouldn't do that." There was a moment of silence during which a soundless conversation between Marlene and Remus was taking place. James saw Marlene shrug her shoulders at Remus from the corner of his eye, spinning on her heels and walking away from the three boys, leaving the problem solving to them. He furrowed his eyebrows, watching as the hand you had on Lucius's chest begun to trail upwards until it rested on the nape of his neck. With horror, his eyes followed Lucius's hand which dragged up your side to rest on your jaw, keeping your head tilted upwards to look at him with those beautiful eyes of yours.

It was as though everything went in slow motion, the music tuning out and the background blurring, James's gaze only set on you and Lucius fucking Malfoy, who was now lowering his face down so he could press his lips against yours. James could almost hear the satisfactory sigh you let out as you got onto your tippy toes, pressing yourself up against his mortal enemy.

Remus's pat on the back was almost enough to make up for Sirius's loud pitiful groan, but the embarrassment of the situation had him marching straight up to you and Malfoy, who he shoved away from you with full force. You squealed in shock, looking at Lucius, who had taken a tumble to the ground and back at James whose eyes were burning with rage and jealousy. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop a smile from spreading on your face, instead looking up at the boy with doe eyes. "Out, now." Lucius was now stood up, frantically brushing his hair out of his eyes, but before he could retaliate at James, you were halfway across the room, blindly following him out into the dimly lit hallway.

On your way out, you caught Remus's eye, and he grinned at you, shaking his head in fake disapproval. Once you were alone in the hallway, you barely got the chance to look up at James before he was mimicking his earlier actions towards Lucius on you, pushing you against the wall so he could kiss you roughly. You moaned in shock, hands instantly travelling to the back of James's neck so you could pull him closer while returning the kiss.

James was panting when he pulled away from you, his big hands on your shoulders, pressing you against the wall to keep you from stepping closer to him. "Now fucking explain to me why you were kissing Lucius Malfoy." Your jaw went slack at the dominance in James' usually light-hearted voice and you stuttered, nearly forgetting about your plan to play dumb. "I don't- I don't know what you mean."

"Yeah Potter," A voice interrupted, making you both turn around to face it. "If she wants to go around kissing me, I think we should all let her." Continued Lucius, stepping deeper into the corridor. You sighed, turning back to face James, whose hands were still on you, but was facing Lucius with a look of disgust on his face. You knew what you had to do. You put your hands on James's face so he instinctively looked at you, and you pulled him forward so you could kiss him again, effectively getting both Lucius away from you and James to forget that you were kissing him mere minutes ago.

[lycheeloving]

another continuation of this AU, this time; yandere!Superman!

-I think he takes you out of the Watchtower sometimes to go on picnics (in super secluded areas). He's fast and strong enough for you to have absolutely no chance of escaping and he thinks it's important for you to spend some time in nature! Yes the Watchtower is built in a way so you get the perfect amount of sunlight in there and there are a lot of plants in the darlings common room, but going outside on planet earth is important to him! To get some fresh air! Walk around a bit! It's a wonderful reprieve from being in the same place all the time, but has the unfortunate side effect that every time the word "picnic" is mentioned you perk up like a dog who heard someone say "treat".

-Will fly you there. If you enjoy it he's happy that you two have that in common and that you're having fun with him, but if you're afraid of heights he's also happy, because you're holding him so tightly. It's a bit like a little trust exercise to him! Look, he won't drop you! See? You know you can trust him, right? :)

-You're so cute and weak to him, he needs to protect you!! In comparison to him, everyone is weak, but with you his protector instinct goes completely haywire. You'll have to deal with him hovering next to you and telling you to be careful all the time, even if you're not doing anything dangerous. Like using a fork. (It could easily pierce your skin!!)

-Absolutely loves cuddling with you when you're sleeping. Like to fall asleep he has to has his arms around you, or better yet you lying on top of him. I also headcanon that when he feels safe and content he starts flying/hovering a bit in his sleep, so sometimes you'll wake up to find you're not on the bed anymore. But don't worry he won't let you fall, even in his sleep he's holding on to you.

(Sometimes you worry he'll lose control in his sleep and hug you too tightly and accidentally kill you, but luckily he's spent all his life learning how to control his strength + his subconscious recognizes that it's you he's holding, so that won't happen. Phew! But you still worry sometimes, like after watching him rip open a car on the news as if it was made of paper. What if one day he gets tired of you and... No. That won't happen... right?)

-Probably the softest with his darling out of all of them. Tries very hard not to overwhelm you.

-That said, he tries his best to control his powers around you as to not be intimidating! He wants you to see him as just some guy. If your universe doesn't have a Superman you don't even realize how powerful he is until you see him fight against a villain on TV. What do you mean Clark can do all that stuff?? You knew he could fly, sure, but laser eyes and super strength? You had no idea! (Clark doesn't like it when you watch the news, but Flash turned them on in the common room to show his darling "how heroic he was today", so for once you were able to watch them).

-Hopes you never find out about his superhearing. Or at least about the fact that he's literally listening to you all the time. Doesn't matter where he is, part of him is always focusing on your heartbeat to make sure you're ok and exactly where he left you. He thinks that would probably freak you out a lot and he'd rather not make you upset. (Won't stop though.)

-Teaches you a lot about Kryptonian culture. It's important to him, so you should know about it as well! Especially as his partner! Might make you wear some kryptonian fashion, probably something that signifies that you're in a relationship with him. Maybe even something that implies you're married to him. Might not even outright tell you what it means before giving you the clothes and you have to piece it together yourself after a bunch of kryptonian lessons.

[emblazons]

"Dustin's non-conformist plot keeping him ideologically separate from his friends and Steve is something they just introduced in S4, idk why they would make him different than his OG self and then finally give him a plot related only to losing Eddie in S5" yeah...no.

Let's take a stroll through canon and talk about it.

forewarning: long / image heavy post

The lead up to Dustin hitting a "wall" about his non-conformity has worked its way into all the seasons leading up to this one in EXTREMELY clear ways, even outside of Eddie. Eddie is just the tipping point for that bent toward non-conformity traumatizing him.

Dustin was one of the FIRST of the party to experience a desire to conform, which we saw when he got to know Steve, and then tired to emulate him using Steve's hair spray & embracing his (toxic) ideology about girls—

—until he backed away from the "lie" of conformist confidence he was trying to project (post-rejection) & ended up encouraged by Nancy...and seeing how that upset the shallow girls even more.

We start S3 with that "lesson learned" and immediately end up with a Dustin who calls people out on their bullshit in S3 and S4 when they were behaving like 'conformists' in regards to their romantic relationships + is true to himself in romance and his interests—

—who then in Season 4 finds a specific kind of kinship with Eddie in particular, because he embraced the "non-conformity" in a way none of his friends had on the same level (including Mike in his own way).

Dustin found kinship with Eddie not just because he looked up to him, but because he reflected back his own personality. They bonded over something Dustin had already learned for himself (that behaving in a way that is dishonest to your true self is not how you should go about your life) and held to it even to the point of challenging his best friends—

—only to immediately lose him and that kinship in the most brutal way possible, when Eddie finds out about the supernatural shit that has been haunting him in secret and helps him fight it....only to then die right in front of his eyes.

Like. Let's be so honest with ourselves. As brutal as him losing Steve (king of high school, struggling EVEN NOW because he doesn't know how to be his authentic self) would be...it would not have even a modicum of the same effect on him given his current self-perception. It would hurt, lets be clear...but it's not tied to his own sense of identity the way Eddie had become, and we even see it in how Dustin regularly calls Steve's mindset and his behaviors foolish throughout S3-S4.

The loss of Eddie ties into Dustin's sense of himself in a way that has been building up for 3/4 of the seasons we've had so far—and him being left with Eddie's last words to continue that non-conformity as the impetus for him feeling isolated from his remaining friends while being haunted by Vecna makes perfect sense narratively if you think about Dustin as a character on his own.

just...you know. Some food for thought lmao

[liteyagummy]

𝖰𝗎𝗂𝖾𝗍𝗅𝗒 𝖮𝖻𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗍 2

TW: yandere behavior, cnc, r4pe, abductor and captor, (the characters are aged up let’s just act like they stayed in dorms so everyone is around 19-20) NSFW

ignore any typos please and thank you, this is one of the longer ones so sit back and grab a snack ||fem reader nothing specified but gender and quirk

(let me know if you enjoy longer or shorter stories!)

your palms sweat as you’re nervous to walk back inside the classroom after weeks.. no MONTHS of absence.. you were unaware of all the cover ups kirishima had dished out you closed your eyes and sighed walking in the class just having a moment to discuss what Aizawa had just told them for todays lesson

Kiri right behind you, he was never going to let you guys sneak around and hide your relationship.. even before he was very open with his friends about how he felt about you just clearly never told him the plan of KIDNAPPING but.. nonetheless, your friends instantly bolted up to you, Jiro, hagakure, and midorya along with other but you weren’t too close to class A even though you transferred in your friends were mainly in class 1B but 1A was very nice to you still

“hey y/n how was your work study!” midorya said with his notebook out with a pen behind his ear

“yea! did you fight anyone outside of training??” denki chimed in

“did you learn any new moves??” Uraraka asked

“i doubt it’d be anything better than mine.” bakugo said from the side of the class having been shouting at sero about the assignment they’d just gotten.. after you looked at kiri confusedly he smiled brightly his red hair sticking up and his sharp teeth showing “y/n actually JUST got dropped off, im sure she’s tired maybe let’s ask about it later at lunch! as of now what are we doing in class?” he raised a brow as he guides you by your hips to your seat everyone seeing this, the girls giggling and the guys having a slight look of shock to their face you just sat down, even though he was lying through his teeth. he was right you were tired you weren’t used to waking up for school anymore you forsure had to get back into your routine

“we’re meeting up with class 1b, we’re going to be doing training together again.. i’m not sure why? it’s pretty random but” tsuyu said

“then again when isn’t our class assignments random” momo chimed in

“regardless we should start getting prepared we don’t want to be late and give class 1B another reason to dislike our class” ida said

after getting ready you walked next to the girls talking with them catching up as you entered the new training dome the old faces flooding back but one standing out.. who was he? you were never IN class 1b you would just meet them separately when walking around.. you’d thought you met everyone already but clearly not

“y/n!” kendo waved with a smile “where have you been girl” she asked as she put a hand on her hip to talk to you while also watching out for her classmates mouth

“oh i had- a last minute work study.. i um, since i came to the hero course late i needed to get that out of the way” you lied on your toes

she nodded “you’ll have to tell me about it! how cool is it that we get to train together “ she continues the conversation but honestly you were zoning in and out of it.. you were curious about the man you’d never seen before

“who is that” you accidentally cut her off while motioning to this guy

“oh that’s tetsu tetsu” she looked to him and then called him over, your cheeks started to get read as he was running over kirishima took a break from talking to his friends to look and see what you were up to, as he saw tetsutetsu running up to you he stood on guard

Kendo heard her classmate start to get a little too chatty, she excused herself walking straight over to monoma and snatching him up apologizing for him yet again

you were alone with this steel man infront of you.. he spoke starting the conversation off with a smile and trying to get to know you, you entertained it truthfully this made kirishima’s blood boil he tried to keep his composure not wanting to blow up here and now. why did this guy think he could talk to his babe?? you were HIS and HIS only not to be shared or easily acceded, he walked over with a fake smile and butted into your conversation, you looked at kiri then tetsutetsu.. then back again.. then again. why the hell were they so similar? kiri wrapped his arm around you “ hey babe! are you ready to train hard! not harder than me because the manly thing to do would be to train the hardest “ he smiled you nodded “ honestly i’m probably the only one who really needs this extra training “ you shook your head, kiri used this opportunity to turn you away and walk you back to their side you noticed this “i- “ you turned back to tetsutetsu who was waving with a chuckle, kiri balled his fist up as you both were away now he’d taken you back to his friends and there you were again not knowing what was going on but somehow still in the middle of the conversation what with denki and kirishima pulling you in for your input on topics here and there how could you space out

as you all stood in your hero outfits you crossed your arms waiting then a loud alarm went off you covered your ears quickly as villains ran out, but they weren’t normal villains they were teachers pretending but man were they being destructive ida and kendo were quick to call out plays and plans each class following the instructions of the most trusted

you all were off quick, you wanted to be a sidekick.. something like hawks you wanted to make someone else make their way to greatness so your training was a but different, you ran in jumping through the sky at fast speeds and teleporting in mid air getting all the play civilians out the way of harm

kirishima followed behind you using his quirk to break any rubble that flew your way as he took down the villains guarding those who you had to save, as soon as you got everyone back you were on the guard to watch them, making sure no one was harmed or injured you stood up grabbing your long swords putting some of your quirk energy into them to make the weapon more powerful, you watched the door to the safe haven that held the civilians

before you could even look over a kick was sent your way sending you down, you blocked it at the last moment but couldn’t stop the momentum, looking down at your arms where the blow had landed now being a bit of red “fuck” you mumbled as you jumped up in the tree where you had been knocked down from

You crouch on a thick branch, hidden in the shadows of the training dome’s artificial forest. Your katanas are ready, the familiar weight grounding you as you listen for any sign of movement below. Mirko, the Rabbit Hero, is somewhere in the underbrush—fast, you know it. you saw her. she was playing the villain today. You knew she wouldn’t hold back.

Your Quirk hums with energy, primed for teleportation and high jumps. A snap of branches below signals her approach. You catch a glimpse of white—a flash of her ears—before she rockets upward, aiming directly for you. Instinct kicks in, and you teleport just as her powerful kick obliterates the branch you were perched on. You reappear on another limb, high above, your senses sharp.

Mirko grins as she spots you, her relentless speed closing the distance in an instant. You teleport again, keeping her guessing, your katanas flashing in the dim light as you strike from behind. She’s fast, but you’re quicker, anticipating her every move. There’s something more at stake today—a subtle caution in your movements, a reason to protect yourself with even greater precision.

As you battle Mirko, another clash unfolds in the training dome. Best Jeanist, acting as the “boss” villain, uses his Quirk to control the fibers around him, manipulating the environment to ensnare his opponents. Six students—Bakugo, Ashido, and Sero from Class 1A, along with Monoma, Tokage, and Kamakiri from Class 1B—face off against him.

Jeanist’s fibers snake through the simulated city, creating barriers and traps. Bakugo blasts through them with his explosions, shouting, “Outta my way, you damn extras!” His relentless energy sends shockwaves across the battlefield, but Jeanist adapts, tightening his grip.

Ashido melts the barriers with her acid, clearing paths, while Sero swings through the chaos with his tape. Monoma, ever the strategist, copies Sero’s Quirk, using it in tandem to bind Jeanist’s fibers. “We need to coordinate better!” Monoma urges.

Bakugo scoffs, “Like I’m taking orders from you, copycat!”

As the battle intensifies, Tokage splits her body into pieces, scattering around Jeanist to create distractions. Kamakiri slashes through the fibers with his blades, trying to cut a path forward. But Jeanist’s control is overwhelming, and the group struggles to gain ground.

In the midst of the chaos, Tokage yells, “Bakugo, we need your explosions to disrupt him! Sero, get ready to tie him down!”

Bakugo sneers, “Don’t tell me what to do!”

Before Bakugo can argue further, Sero snaps at him, “Bakugo, focus! We won’t win if you don’t listen!”

Bakugo glares but knows Sero’s right. “Fine! But this better work!” he grumbles.

With a fierce explosion, Bakugo creates a massive shockwave that shakes the battlefield, forcing Jeanist to lose control of his fibers. Sero and Monoma act quickly, shooting their tape to bind Jeanist’s arms and legs. Tokage’s scattered body parts add confusion, while Kamakiri slashes through any fibers that attempt to regroup.

Ashido seizes the moment, dousing the area around Jeanist with her acid, weakening his defenses. Bakugo delivers a final, powerful blast, breaking through Jeanist’s control entirely.

Best Jeanist, impressed by their unexpected synergy, concedes, “Well done. You’ve shown real teamwork.”

The exercise ends with the announcement of their victory. The six students, panting but triumphant, exchange looks of pride. Bakugo scowls, though a hint of satisfaction lingers in his eyes. “Tch, you better not get used to me listening to you,” he mutters.

As the victorious team of students from Classes 1A and 1B stay on guard, the sounds of their fight ending echo faintly through the training dome. But in another part of the dome, your battle is far from over.

The clash between you and Mirko is intense, the training exercise pushing both of you to the limit

As she dodges and lunged again, you teleport above her, diving down with your katanas poised for a decisive strike. She barely has time to react, twisting to avoid the worst of it, but your blade still grazes her side. The impact sends you both tumbling through the branches, but you teleport just before hitting the ground, landing lightly as Mirko rolls to her feet.

She’s breathing hard, a grin of respect on her face. “You’re tough to pin down,” she admits, clearly impressed.

You lower your swords slightly, maintaining your focus. “Speed alone won’t win this,” you reply, your voice steady.

Mirko nods, hopping back with a look that says she’s noticed the change in your approach, even if she doesn’t understand it. “Keep fighting like that, and you’ll be unstoppable.”

As she gets away, you know the real challenge is just beginning. You’ve proven you’re more than ready for what’s ahead, your Quirk sharp, your resolve even sharper ready to hold your own in this damned class.

You make your way through the dense forest, each step feeling heavier than the last. The training dome’s artificial environment is convincing, but it’s the fatigue that’s all too real. You haven’t eaten anything today—only managed to keep down some water before throwing up this morning—but you push the discomfort aside. There’s still work to be done.

The small house where the civilians are sheltered comes into view, and you spot Kirishima at the entrance, standing guard. His eyes brighten when he sees you, and he quickly makes his way over. “Hey! You hanging in there?”

You nod, though the dizziness is getting harder to ignore. “Just checking on the civilians,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady. The last thing you want is for him to notice how worn out you’re feeling.

Kirishima gives you a once-over, his expression softening with concern. “You sure you’re okay? You don’t look too great.”

You force a smile. “Just tired. It’s been a rough morning.”

He frowns slightly, still not convinced. “You’ve been going nonstop. If you need to take a break, I can handle things here.”

The offer is tempting, but you shake your head. “I’ll be fine. I’ll grab something to eat at lunch.”

Together, you check on the civilians inside the house. They’re safe, which is a relief, but you can feel your energy fading fast. The lightheadedness intensifies, and you have to steady yourself against the doorframe as you step back outside.

The sun is warm, filtering through the leaves, but it does little to chase away the chill that’s starting to settle in your bones. You take a deep breath, hoping it’ll clear your head, but your vision blurs slightly. You blink hard, focusing on Kirishima’s steady presence beside you.

“Training’s almost over,” he says, glancing around. “Looks like 1A and 1B really pulled together.”

You nod, though even that small motion feels like it takes too much effort. The teamwork between the classes has paid off, and the announcement over the intercom confirms it. “Good work, everyone. Classes 1A and 1B, please return to the main building for lunch.”

Kirishima grins, giving you a thumbs-up. “We did it!”

You return the gesture weakly, your thoughts consumed by the idea of food. “Let’s head back,” you say, your voice softer than you intended.

As you walk toward the exit, Kirishima stays close, his eyes never leaving you. “Seriously, if you’re not feeling well, let me help. I’ll make sure you get to the cafeteria, okay?”

You manage a small sigh your head throbbing “ill be fine i swear it” you softly say

He smiles, but there’s an undercurrent of multiple different emotions but the main one , concern. that he doesn’t dare voice. You’re grateful for him even letting you out the dorm today, even if you can’t quite place why you’re feeling so off. Right now, all you can think about is getting something to eat and shaking off this strange weakness. you’ve used up your teleportation for the day. one of the main reasons you hardly use that quirk

The victory in the training exercise feels distant as you focus on making it back to the main building. Lunch is next, and you know you need to refuel. Whatever’s going on, you’ll figure it out later—after you’ve had a chance to rest and recover.

After the intense training exercise, the students head back to the main building for lunch. The atmosphere is lighter, filled with chatter and the clinking of trays. You and Kirishima, freshly changed and looking a bit worn, make your way to the cafeteria. His hand is firmly on your hip, a constant presence as he guides you through the crowd.

The usual suspects from Class 1A and 1B have already gathered, their voices mingling in a cacophony of post-training relief. Kirishima steers you toward an empty table, where Midoriya, Uraraka, Jiro, and others from both classes are waiting.

“Hey, y/n!” Midoriya greets enthusiastically, notebook and pen still in hand. “So, how was your work study? Kirishima mentioned it was pretty intense.”

“Yeah,” Uraraka chimes in, “did you get to face any villains or learn new techniques?”

Bakugo, sitting with his usual scowl, adds, “Hope it wasn’t just some fluff job. Better be something worth your time.”

Kirishima, his arm around you, smiles brightly. “It was definitely a challenging experience! But y/n’s been working hard and could use a break. Maybe we should save the details for another time?”

Denki, leaning forward, grins. “Come on, just a little teaser? Was it as crazy as the stuff we did today?”

You give a tired smile, thankful for Kirishima’s attempt to shift focus. “It was... pretty demanding. I learned a lot, though.”

Jiro tilts her head, still curious. “Kirishima made it sound like you were in the thick of it. Any cool stories?”

You nod slightly, glancing at Kirishima. “Maybe I’ll share more later. For now, I’m just looking forward to some food and a bit of rest.”

Kirishima chuckles, squeezing your shoulder gently. “Yeah, let’s focus on enjoying lunch. We all worked hard today.”

As you settle into your seat, Kirishima finally releases his grip, though his hand lingers close by. The group’s curiosity remains piqued, and Midoriya presses further. “Come on, y/n, just a bit more about your work study?”

You take a deep breath, smiling to keep up the pretense. “Alright, fine. There was this one moment I fought a hero pretending to be a villain. It was pretty intense. I used some of the techniques I picked up to keep up with her.”

“Really?” Uraraka leans in, eyes wide. “What happened?”

You nod, picking up your fork. “Well, I was up against Mirko, the Rabbit Hero. She’s incredibly fast. I had to rely on my teleportation and high jumps to stay out of her reach. There was one time I was perched in a tree, and she charged at me. I teleported just before she reached me and struck from above. It was a close call.”

Jiro looks impressed. “Sounds like you had to stay on your toes. Did you use any new moves or strategies?”

You nod, keeping the details vague. “Yeah, I combined some of the techniques I’d been working on. Like using my teleportation to disorient her and then hitting her with a surprise attack. It wasn’t exactly easy, but I managed to pull through.”

Bakugo, with a skeptical look, mutters, “Sounds like you didn’t learn anything new but just got to show off your usual tricks.”

You shrug, a smirk playing on your lips. “You could say that. Sometimes it’s just about using what you’ve already mastered in new ways.”

Kirishima grins, relieved by the change of topic. “Well, whatever you did, it must have been impressive. I’m just glad you’re back and in one piece.”

The conversation shifts, with everyone eager to share their own experiences from the training. As you enjoy your meal, you let yourself relax, the warmth of the cafeteria and the friendly banter a welcome contrast to the day’s earlier chaos.

As the group finishes classes up and heads back to their dorms, you and Kirishima make your way to your “shared” dorm. The atmosphere in the hall is relaxed, filled with the casual chatter of students winding down after the day’s training.

When you finally reach the door to your room, Kirishima’s usual easygoing smile fades, replaced by a more serious expression. You notice the change, but before you can ask, he opens the door and ushers you inside.

The moment the door clicks shut, Kirishima’s demeanor shifts from jovial to intense. He turns to face you, his brows furrowed.

“Hey, what was that back there with Tetsutetsu?”

You look up, startled. “What do you mean?”

“You seemed pretty chummy with him,” Kirishima says, his voice edged with frustration. “He was all over you, and you didn’t exactly push him away.”

You quickly try to defuse the situation. “It wasn’t like that. He was just being friendly.”

Kirishima’s expression hardens. “Friendly? You were practically cornered by him. I saw the way he looked at you. I don’t like it.”

You shake your head, trying to explain.

“Kirishima, it’s nothing. We were just talking in barely even know the guy.”

His frustration doesn’t wane. “It’s not just about him. It’s about how he was acting like he had some claim over you, and it bothered me.”

Seeing his anger, you try to reassure him. “Kiri, it really was nothing. I wasn’t interested in him. He was just a bit too forward, and I was trying to be polite.”

“bullshit so laughing and talking and blushing is being polite.” he looked away growing more annoyed with the situation. “y/n don’t- make me.. do something i don’t want to.. it won’t be very heroic.” he said as he walked into the dorm more going to his closet to take his close off and change

you worried about that statement.. what did he mean..?

whatever he meant this anger needed to go somewhere.

“y/n.” he called from the bedroom..

PART 1 (part 3 coming soon)

[kayewrite]

How to Love?

genre:; fluff, angst (not really). word counting: 1754

Seungmin x reader (ft. mingyu of seventeen). college Seungmin!. Medicine student Seungmin! (will write lots of university fics because im delulu college student *sobs)

wherein:  You are just curious, and you asked for tips from your friend, who willingly helped you.

i reccommend you to listen "how to love" by Day6

You've never been in a relationship before.

Your focus has always been on studying. Study. And more study.

Aiming for the top has always been your priority, which is why the idea of having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) never even crossed your mind.

Besides, no one’s ever asked you out, so why bother thinking about relationships when the opportunity hasn’t even presented itself? (By the way, you’re not some stereotypical nerd. You love makeup and dressing up for yourself.)

But now that you’re in college, things are different. Your goals are getting harder to achieve. It’s not just that the course is challenging; it’s also because it’s not what you wanted to study in the first place. You’re here because of family pressure, and that’s made it even harder to keep up with your lessons.

In college, you start to realize something important:

Studying too much can really drain you.

As you look around, you notice how others are balancing their lives. Your deskmate parties every weekend, yet somehow she has the same grades as you. The notorious bad boy sitting in front, who’s always playing with girls' hearts and puts his studies at the bottom of his priority list, scored higher than you in Differential Equations.

And then there’s your dorm mate, who blushes while talking to someone on the phone. She has a boyfriend, yet she manages to balance her studies without letting it distract her. (By the way, why is she blushing?)

"I'm tired, physically and mentally," you say, resting your head on the cafeteria table while Seungmin, your friend, munches on his sandwich.

"That's what you get after not sleeping for several days and then pressuring yourself too much," he replies, continuing to eat his sandwich—wait, that’s yours!

You lift your head, tired but still sane.

"Then what should I do? What do college students do? Isn’t it our responsibility to learn?"

Seungmin rolls his eyes at your statement. "What are we, robots?" He puts down your sandwich and wipes his mouth with a napkin, realizing that it’s yours and that he should stop eating. (Only 1/8 of the sandwich is left.)

"Listen, you need to get a life. You’re wasting your college years with your nose buried in books. You should enjoy college because after this, adult life limits your happiness. So, as long as you can, enjoy and live your life."

On a normal day, you’d tease him, calling him dumb and saying he’s talking nonsense, but maybe because you’re so tired, or something else, for the first time what he’s saying makes sense.

"Wow, you’re making sense." Your face lights up, and Seungmin can’t help but laugh. "Is that what studying medicine does to you?"

"I'm always a genius, you dumbass. Eat my medals."

What Seungmin said rings in your brain. For the first time, you don’t stress about the upcoming exam.

"Seungmin," you call out after a long, comfortable silence.

"What?"

"I should date."

"Date what?"

"Date someone."

Suddenly, Seungmin clasps his hands together in an overly dramatic way and closes his eyes.

"Finally, my prayers have been heard."

But how do you start?

You weren’t pressured by your surroundings, right? You just want to experience it.

Experience.

But how?

"How?" you ask Seungmin when you sit under the mango tree, studying (again).

"How what? Don’t ask me math questions."

"I mean… how did you meet Shin?" you ask, closing your book.

Seungmin has a lot of experience in love. He’s had many girlfriends (and why not? He’s handsome). So asking him questions about love is never difficult.

Seungmin looks at you intently, his face showing a hint of curiosity.

"She came to me."

"And then what?" Curiosity is evident on your face. Why haven’t you asked him questions like this before?

"And then we dated."

"That fast?"

"It’s because she loved me too much, and I was just doing her a favor." You slap him hard.

"You’re a playboy."

"I’m not. I’m kind."

"So if anyone likes you, you just date them?"

"Well… no."

"I think I’m an idiot for asking you for advice." You lean back and open your book again.

Seungmin laughs at you. He realizes you must be serious about your decision, so why not help? (As a good friend should.)

"Okay, now listen to me. You won’t regret this decision, right?"

"Why are you getting scary?" you comment as he speaks with an unusually serious face.

"I mean, as your friend—a handsome friend, mind you—I’m going to tell you…" He pauses for dramatic effect. "How to love."

You pause, then hit his arm.

"Why are you making that serious face? You’re so funny." You both laugh, and when you’re tired from laughing, Seungmin continues.

"First, fall in love."

"Well, step one is kinda hard."

"Just use your charm, and then you’ll find love. And never let go of the people who want to take care of you. Have you seen yourself? You’re pushing people away."

"I am?" You think back to times in your life when you’ve pushed people away.

"Yes. So never do that. And if you find love, contact me for step two." He laughs, then stands up and runs off.

"What is this, a YouTube tutorial?" you sigh and open your book again, but your attention isn’t there.

"How can I find it?"

You sat alone at your usual spot in the cafeteria, a tray of untouched food in front of you. The sounds of chatter and laughter surrounded you, but your mind was elsewhere, replaying Seungmin's words about finding love. You let out a small sigh, thinking about how you’d even begin.

As you poked at your sandwich, someone slid into the seat across from you. You looked up, surprised. It was Mingyu, the handsome senior from your department. You’d seen him around before, but never this close. He had a confident, easygoing smile that made your heart skip a beat.

“Hey,” he said casually, setting his coffee down. “Mind if I sit here?”

You blinked, momentarily lost for words, then nodded. “Sure.”

He grinned. “I’ve seen you around. You’re always so focused, it’s impressive.”

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks. “Thanks, I guess. I just… try to stay on top of things.”

“You don’t have to explain,” he chuckled. “I get it. College is a lot. But you know, it’s also important to have fun.”

You looked at him, curiosity piqued. “And what do you do for fun?”

Mingyu leaned back, taking a sip of his coffee before answering. “I hang out with friends, play some basketball, and sometimes… I just like to talk to interesting people.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, and you couldn’t help but smile. The conversation flowed naturally from there—jokes, stories, shared frustrations about classes. Time seemed to fly by, and before you knew it, the bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period.

Mingyu stood up, grabbing his things. “Hey, this was fun. Can I get your number? Maybe we can do this again sometime.”

Your heart raced as you fumbled to take out your phone. “Yeah, sure.”

After exchanging numbers, Mingyu flashed you one last smile before heading off to his next class. You sat there for a moment, still processing what had just happened. Then, without thinking, you grabbed your phone and dialed Seungmin.

“I think I found it,” you said as soon as he picked up.

Seungmin's voice on the other end was a mix of surprise and amusement. “Already? Wow, that was fast.”

Later that day, you met Seungmin again, and he couldn’t believe how quickly things had progressed. “So, what’s step two?” you asked, eager to hear more of his so-called wisdom.

Seungmin smirked. “Step two is to develop trust. It’s not easy, especially when you don’t know someone that well, but it’s crucial.”

You nodded, feeling a bit anxious. Trust wasn’t something you gave easily, but you were determined to see this through.

As days turned into weeks, you and Mingyu kept in touch, though not always frequently. He was busy with his senior projects, and you were swamped with your own studies, but whenever you did talk, there was a comfort and ease that made you feel safe. You found yourself trusting him, even when he wasn’t around.

One day, he invited you to a coffee shop off-campus. You said yes without hesitation. The atmosphere was cozy, with soft music playing in the background. As you sat across from Mingyu, sipping your drinks and chatting about anything and everything, you felt a warmth spread through you.

“I really enjoy spending time with you,” Mingyu said, his eyes twinkling as he looked at you. “Will you go out with me?”

You didn’t answer right away, but the smile on your face said it all.

The next time you saw Seungmin, he could tell something had changed. You were happier, lighter, and it was all thanks to Mingyu. “Alright, you’re ready for step three,” Seungmin said with a grin.

“What’s that?” you asked, still smiling from your last date.

“Build commitment. That’s the final step,” he said, though there was a hint of something else in his voice—something you couldn’t quite place. But you were too caught up in your happiness to notice.

As the days passed, you and Mingyu grew closer. You spent more time together, studying, laughing, sharing your dreams and fears. You felt safe with him, and that trust grew into something deeper. But every now and then, when you were with Seungmin, you’d catch him looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read.

One afternoon, you were in the library with Mingyu, your heads bent over your books. Seungmin walked by, and you looked up, catching his eye. He smiled, a soft, bittersweet smile that made your heart ache just a little. He was happy for you, that much was clear, but there was something more—something he wasn’t saying.

You watched him walk away, a thought nagging at the back of your mind. But before you could dwell on it, Mingyu nudged you, making you laugh with another one of his jokes. The moment passed, and you pushed the thought aside.

But deep down, you knew. You knew there was more to Seungmin’s advice than just friendly concern. And as you watched him disappear into the stacks of books, you realized that maybe, just maybe, the steps to love he’d shared with you were ones he’d already taken… with you.

[eddiexmunsonlover]

One Step Away From You (Chapter 11)

BSF!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Fem!Reader

Follow my new blog for future chapters & fics @cherryxhaze

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Chapter Summary: Overwhelmed by your feelings for Eddie, you don't learn your lesson and begin to pull away from him again. But with the help of Steve and Robin, Eddie's not letting you get away so easily this time. WC: 7.6k Warnings: MDNI. Honestly just an emotionally heavy chapter. Anxiety, triggers to previous 'relationship'. Angst, fluff, hurt, and comfort. Well, here it is everybody. The chapter we've all been waiting for! I honestly teared up a bit writing this. I really hope you all enjoy it and feel it was worth the wait, angst, and tension I put you through. Series taglist: @eddie-is-a-god @siriusmaraudeers @amandahobblepot @littlexdeaths

Thursday, February 13th, 1986

“Soooo, how long exactly are you planning on keeping this up?”

Robin’s voice pulls you from your concentration, looking up from your History notes to be met with her expectant gaze. Your eyes flicker around your surroundings in confusion.

“What? …Studying?”

“No, dingus! This thing with Eddie!”

You sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat as she continues rambling. 

“This whole slowly pulling away from Eddie because you think it’s going to magically make your feelings for him disappear. Because that went SO WELL the last time-”

“Robin” you hiss as your eyes dart around the two of you, trying to determine if any of the other students taking shelter in the library instead of the lunchroom can overhear.

“What? It’s true! You’re only hurting yourself and him.”

“It’s only temporary, Rob.” you reassure, making a feeble attempt to both subdue her and bring your focus back to your notes.

“Temporary… right. Well, what if the damage done in the process isn’t?”

Your hands rub over your face in frustration, huffing before you meet her stare.

“Look, it’s not the same as last time. It’s not like I’ve completely shut him out. I’ve just taken a step back, that’s all. Just until I feel like I can handle being around him so much for the rest of the school year.” 

Instead of being met with her continued ramblings, she just stares at you with raised brows. An expression that reads ‘I see right through your bullshit’. Before she can say so, the screeching ring of the bell signaling the end of the lunch period provides the perfect exit to the conversation you’ve been avoiding from both her and Steve.

“This conversation isn’t over!” she insists with a hushed whisper as you enter the school halls.

“Bye, Robin!” you exclaim before parting from her side, heading down opposite ends of the hall to your next class.

Over the last 3 weeks since the events of the concert and Eddie’s birthday, you’d begun to pull away from him. Slowly, bit by bit. Electing to spend more lunch periods with Robin in the library. Spending more evenings with Steve and Robin or your mom. Even visiting your dad a few times. Picking up more work shifts. Some you needed to go to right after school, less carpooling. Nothing that couldn’t be written off with excuses. 

You needed to save money ahead of college in the fall. You’d noticed you were spending less time with your mom and other friends and wanted to change that.

You still carpooled some days, still sat at the Hellfire table for lunch, still attended Hellfire meetings and your movie nights after, but your presence around Eddie had been dwindling.

Enough to be noticeable, but still around enough to not be alarming, you hope.

You don’t know what else to do.

After the night of Eddie's birthday, you felt so overwhelmed with the feelings you’ve been suppressing for so long. Feelings and desires for him. Overwhelmed by his presence. His meaningless pet names and soft touches. 

You’re tired of it, and so are your two other closest friends. Steve manages to bring Eddie up every time you hang out, insisting you just tell him how you feel. 

He doesn’t understand.

You can handle rejection, you’ve dealt with it plenty of times throughout your life. What you can’t handle is rejection from Eddie. The thought alone devastates you, keeping you from confessing the feelings for him you hold so close to your heart, on top of fear it would unravel your friendship.

You turn the knob entering the combination to your locker, switching out your books for your afternoon classes. A sliver of pink flashes through your vision, a card falling to the ground, slipped through the slits at the top. You stare at the pink paper next to your feet for a few seconds, uncertainty filling your mind. 

A Valentine's gram. 

They’d been advertising it all week ahead of Valentine’s Day tomorrow. Tables set up in the front atrium and cafeteria to send candy grams and letters to other students. You take a sharp inhale through your nostrils before reaching down to grab it, twirling it in your hands before getting the courage to open the note.

You’re the most beautiful girl these cynical eyes have ever seen.

Your Secret Admirer

Reading the words over and over again you gulp, forcing down the quickly rising lump in your throat as painful memories are triggered. Heat rises in your cheeks, eyes quickly darting around you. Scanning the halls for anyone watching, snickering with their friends at the prank. 

But no one’s watching you, everyone going about their business. Casually chatting with friends or hurrying down the halls to get to their next class on time. 

You shove the pink note in your bag, grabbing the last of your books before slamming the locker door shut. Trudging down the hall to your next class. Avoiding the eyes of your classmates, even Eddie, as you slump into your seat. 

Memories of this time last year creeping into your mind. 

Justin.

He’d left a note in your locker for Valentine’s Day too. 

“You’re so beautiful.

Meet me by the bleachers at 3”

The day after Valentine’s when you let him be your first and only, just for it to all be a joke. A heartless prank.  

The note in your locker brings back that pain, embarrassment, and anger. The similarities, the anniversary. It poisons your mood for the day, unable to bring yourself to focus at all in your last  classes. Zoning out as you stare at the board, memories of Justin, your friendship and feelings for Eddie swarming your mind.

You’re so consumed by it you don’t hear his footsteps approaching from behind as you leave the classroom.

“Hey, you! What’s up?”

“Oh. Hey, Eds. Not much.”

“You alright? You look a little-”

“I’m fine. Look I um, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” His steps stop with yours as you exit the front doors of the school, quickly lighting a cigarette and taking a drag before you continue. “I’m not going to be able to make it to Hellfire tomorrow.”

“W-What do you mean, is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine. My aunt asked me to cover, the guy that took over my Friday night shifts is sick. I’m sorry.” You shrug defeatedly. 

Another lie added to the list of excuses you’ve fed him over the last few weeks to avoid being around him too much. You asked your Aunt for the shift, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Sighing, his hands go to his hips as he looks around the parking lot.

“Well, you’re going to have to find a sub.”

“I’ll find a sub, Eddie.” You say exasperatedly, rolling your eyes. Before he can comment on your clearly sour mood, you try to dismiss it with a shake of your head. “Look, I gotta go to work. I’ll catch you later, alright?”

You don’t wait for a response as you begin the walk from the school to your truck, hearing his dumbfounded “Alright” from behind you.

Not bothering to let your eyes seek him out as you pull out of the school parking lot.

You hate this.

Hate lying to him. Hate trying to spend just enough time with him to subdue worries or complaints. Hate that you’re doing what you’ve always done; holding everything in, avoiding conflict and procrastinating the inevitable. It’s what you’ve always done because it’s the only way you’ve been taught how to handle your problems. Left to your own devices to figure it out.

You hate that you don’t know how to handle this any other way.

Most of all, you hate that you’re hopelessly in love with your best friend.

Friday, February 14th, 1986

There’s something wrong with you and Eddie knows it. Despite your efforts to pull away from him as slowly and subtly as you can, he’s noticed your growing absence over the weeks. Always giving an excuse that seems to make sense, but he can’t get rid of the gut feeling that something else is going on. He’s asked, but you always tell him everything’s fine. 

You’re just tired, busy, working, trying to spend more time with family. 

The excuses would satisfy anyone else, taking them at face value, but he’s known you long enough to know when you’re holding something in, something that’s weighing heavily on your mind. He can’t deny that your fading presence hasn’t triggered a fear, a fear going back 3 years when you pulled away from him completely. You were thousands of miles away then, but he’s watching you do the same thing now right in front of him, only slower. That realization and the fear that it will reach the inevitable point where you cut him off completely again has had him in an internal panic for the past weeks.

Spending nights alone in his room racking his brain for anything he could’ve done to cause this. The excuses and less time spent together started 3 weeks ago, soon after his birthday and the concert the week before that. He relives those nights. 

The concert. He admits he let himself get carried away in a few moments. Letting the energy and environment take over, touching you more than he usually would. Hoping you’d see it as nothing more than him being a protective friend, and at the same time hoping you’d see it for what it really is, his feeble attempt at sending you signs of his feelings he’s too afraid to admit. Too afraid those feelings would scare you away, cutting him off from your life again. 

Maybe that’s exactly what’s happening now. You saw his actions for what they are. He was too forward, too creepy. It overwhelmed you. He feels so damn stupid, jeopardizing your friendship like that by putting his selfish desires first.

And who knows what he did the night of his birthday, drinking too many Rum and Coke’s to remember. He cringes at the thought, regret filling his mind and body.

Maybe he took it a step even farther in the wrong direction with that Valentine’s note left in your locker. He’d convinced Gareth to write it for him, you’d recognize Eddie’s handwriting but not his. He knew you’d see it before your afternoon classes, hoping at the least it’d just put a smile on your face. But there was no smile in sight when you walked into English class, a frown and a look of sorrow etched into your features. 

He knew he’d fucked up. When you told him you’d be missing Hellfire, despite your seemingly reasonable excuse, he can’t help but think the reason is really him.

Your usual seat at Hellfire is taken by Max. He wonders what you did to convince the girl to take your spot as she looks among the members in skepticism. Your absence at Hellfire leaves a hollow feeling in his heart. You’d never missed a campaign since you joined, the thought that this wouldn’t be the last scares him. Despite worrying that he’s done too much and has pushed you away, he feels like he has to do something. Fear driving him to fight in some way, but he isn’t sure what to do.

That uncertainty drives him to the parking lot of Family Video after Hellfire to seek out the help of your other best friends. Watching various customers leave under the neon sign, couples renting romance movies for the holiday. His rings anxiously tap against the steering wheel as he gathers his courage, waiting for the right moment. The less people in the video store, the better. A Friday night on Valentine’s Day probably wasn’t the best choice, but he can’t stand being stuck in his own head any longer.

Van keys in hand, he slams the driver’s door shut before striding toward the glass doors.

“Welcome to Family Vid-” Steve begins his usual work greeting, cut off guard looking up from the stack of tapes to see Eddie approaching the counter. “Ah, Munson. Here to rent another gory slasher?”

Robin’s ears quirk up at the mention of Eddie’s name, disregarding the customer in front of her asking about the latest Tom Cruise flick as she peeks over the video stands toward the counter.

“Uh, no. I’m actually here to talk.” Eddie mutters as he looks around the store, appearing frazzled. Skin clammy and hair more wild than usual. His eyes meet Robin’s, which widens before turning back to her customer, failing to appear nonchalant.

“Talk?” Steve crosses his arms, acting surprised. He already knows, though, what exactly Eddie wants to talk about. Given the increasing distance you’ve put between you two, Steve knew it would come to a head eventually. He didn’t exactly expect Eddie to seek him out for it, however.

“Yeah, about Y/N. I don’t know, something’s wrong. She’s not around as much anymore and I know there’s something going on.”

“Oookay. Have you tried talking to her about it?”

“Do you think I’d be here right now if I hadn’t?” His nostrils flare and lips tighten as frustration fills him. He takes a breath to calm himself. “Everytime I ask her, she says everything’s fine. She has to work more shifts, she’s spending more time with you two. But I know there’s more to it.”

Robin joins the duo, sliding up to the counter to eavesdrop more closely, inserting herself in the conversation.

“Alright… I’m not exactly sure where we fit into this, Munson.”

Eddie flashes him an incredulous look. He’s going to have to pry it out of him.

“She won’t tell me what’s going on, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t told you two what’s going on.” He points a finger at them accusingly, his impatience beginning to rise.

“Ha. Nope, no no no no no no” Steve scoffs, raising his hands in an attempt to remove himself from the situation. With her customer checked out and heading out the doors, Robin steps beside Steve to face Eddie.

“Look, Eddie. As frustrating as this situation may be, believe me, I know. What kind of friends would we be if we blabbed her business behind her back, things she’s told us in confidence?”

He knows she’s right, but it only lands him in the same spot he’s been, stuck. Leaning his elbows on the counter, his head falls in his hands as his mind swells in frustration and overwhelm. He rubs his eyes, taking a shaky inhale.

“I don’t know what else to do. I’m stuck… I’m scared she’s just gonna pull away completely again. I just can’t take that.”

The sound of his voice, the subtle shakiness and cracking in it. The sight of him with his head in his hands, helpless. It hits Steve right in his chest. His hand shoots to his forehead, squeezing his eyebrows together in disgruntlement before he sighs.

“Look, Robin’s right. But” he shares a look with her. “We’re willing to help.”

Eddie’s eyes peek over his hands to observe them, seeing their genuine expression he removes them from his face completely.

“Well, you got any bright ideas?”

Steve shares another unspoken look with Robin and it’s nearly enough to send Eddie over the edge.

“Let me ask you something, Munson.” Steve begins, taking a step closer to the counter between them, arms returning to cross over his chest. He reads Eddie for a moment before continuing.

“You love her, don’t you?” He asks plainly. It catches Eddie off-guard, forcibly blinking his eyes repeatedly before shaking his head. Scoffing out a laugh.

“I- Well of course I do, she’s my best friend.”

He gets nothing but silence from the duo. Robin’s head tilts ever so slightly, Steve’s eyes squinting as they examine him. 

It’s more than that. He knows it, and they know it. But Eddie grows defensive under their prying gaze and question. That small spark of jealousy reigniting as he looks at Steve.

“Ha. Oh, I see. You’re just trying to see if you’re going to have some competition getting in your way, huh?” he accuses, posture straightening and puffing his chest out. But Steve only returns the accusation with a look of confusion, furrowing his brows.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Munson. Don’t get me wrong Y/N’s a great girl, but we’re nothing more than friends.”

“Yeah. Platonic… with a capital P!” Robin adds.

The air filling Eddie’s chest deflates with a huff, almost a sigh of relief. His calloused hand rubs over his face.

“Well, based on that reaction I think I have the real answer to my question.” Steve remarks, sharing another look with Robin.

Eddie looks around the empty video store before slowly nodding his head.

“Yeah. I love her. Really love her.” he admits, a small weight off his chest with the confession.

Steve releases a sigh of his own, slumping his back against the counter as he tries to think.

“So? What do we do?” Robin presses him, hands flared out by her hips. 

“Just-” A hand flies up to stop her. “Let me think, alright?”

Silence falls among the trio as Steve is lost in thought. Weighing their options as he feels the eyes of Robin and Eddie on him. Waiting for him to come up with a solution. A few moments pass before he slowly begins nodding his head, a small smirk appearing on his lips before his eyes look up to meet theirs.

“Yeah, alright. I’ve got an idea. But let me make one thing clear…shit, who am I kidding. If this plan fails it’s going to bite us all in the ass. So let’s make sure it doesn’t, alright?”

It’s another one of those nights. Despite your body being exhausted from a busy Friday shift at work, your mind is nowhere near winding down. Freshly showered and in a clean set of pajamas, you survey your room for something to do. The second your eyes land on your purple bass guitar, it’s decided. Losing yourself in music is one of your go-to’s for nights like these, providing plenty of distraction from your thoughts. 

Sliding the guitar strap over your head, you switch out the tapes in the stereo and press play. As Hang on to Your Love by Sade begins, your fingers flawlessly follow the bassline you’ve played countless times in the nearly 2 years since the Diamond Life album’s release. Your eyes close letting the music flow through you, singing along, head and body moving with the beat under the purple glow of your string lights.

In Heaven's name, why are you walking away?

Hang on to your love

In Heaven's name, why do you play these games?

Hang on to your love

Take time if you're down on luck

It's so easy to walk out on love

Take your time if the going gets tough

It's so precious

So if you want it to get stronger

You'd better not let go

You gotta hold on longer

If you want your love to grow

Gotta stick together

Hand in glove

Hold tight, don't fight

Hang on to your love

You sing and play along as your feet move you around the room, hips swaying to the beat. You let your mind focus on the rhythm, fingers following the repetitive baseline. Making an effort to not focus too much on the lyrics, less the irony slap you in the face. You know they’re right, deep down. Having the courage to follow the truth of it is another story.

He sits in the driver’s seat after the engine goes quiet, collecting his thoughts. Going over the plan he made with Steve, all the things he wants to say to you. He steps out of the van, closing the door behind him before heading toward the trailer. Unlocking the front door, he spares a glance toward your trailer, your window. Purple light shining through the sheer curtains. 

You. 

The faint outline of your figure clad with your guitar. Body swaying to the bassline you pluck with your fingers. He sighs, pulling his eyes from the sight and closing the trailer door behind him.

Secluding to his bedroom for the night with hope that Steve’s plan works.

Saturday, February 15th, 1986

A smirk plays on your lips, watching as Steve’s BMW pulls into your driveway. Steve and Robin waving at you from the front seat.

“Come on, it’ll be like old times last summer. Driving to work together, and you know, we can go for a drive around town after, listen to music, get some ice cream then have a movie night!” Steve propositioned you over the phone an hour ago. You figured he wants to do something to lighten your mood, take you back to the late nights your little trio would have last summer after your Scoops Ahoy shifts.

Which has led to you sitting in Steve’s backseat as he drives down Hawkins main road to drop you off at the restaurant before the two head to their own shifts. Giggling to yourself as you listen to their usual bickering from the front seat.

“Alright, give the store a call when you’re done and we’ll pick you up” he smiles as you get out of the car, quickly returning the gesture to him.

“Aye-Aye, Captain. See you guys later!” They wave bye before watching you part, releasing a deep sigh when you disappear into the restaurant and he shifts the car in reverse.

“I really hope this doesn’t blow up in our faces” Robin mutters from the passenger seat, fingers massaging her forehead before looking at Steve.

“Tell me about it… she’s gonna kick my ass.” He spares one last look at the restaurant before driving back onto the main road toward Family Video.

You can’t deny you feel excited for your after work plans, the prospect of being able to live in the moment with your friends and not in your head with stress. Business keeps at a steady pace throughout the day, offering you plenty of distraction from those thoughts and that nagging feeling in the bottom of your stomach you can’t quite place your finger on. 

When closing time comes around, the dinner rush that’d hit has left you feeling exhausted. With aching feet and a sore back, you scuffle over to the restaurant telephone. Dialing the number to Family Video, you glance at the clock. 10 minutes past their closing time.

“Uh, Family Video?” Robin’s voice greets you with hesitation, usually avoiding answering any calls that come in after closing time. Expecting your call, she hopes she didn’t just accidentally answer a customer.

“Hey, it’s me. I’m finished here if y’all are ready?”

“Oh! Yeah, right! Weeee are about to leave right now. Be there in a few!” Your brows furrow at the fluctuations in her voice.

“Uh alright, see you soon”

“Kay, bye!” Her cheeks puff out as she slams the phone down on the receiver.

“Nice. Real smooth, Robin.” Steve remarks with a shake of his head.

“Well you should’ve answered then, dingus!”

You put the phone back on the receiver before turning to collect your belongings from the back room, saying your goodbyes to your coworkers and clocking out. A few minutes later you’re wandering out the restaurant doors into the cold February air. A quick look around the parking lot tells you they’re not here yet. You decide to take a seat for the first time since the start of your shift, figuring you have enough time for a quick cigarette before the BMW pulls up any minute now.

5 minutes later, the cherry on your cigarette has met the filter and still no sign of Steve and Robin. Your foot bounces anxiously against the loose gravel beneath your feet. The video store is only 3 minutes down the road. Maybe they got caught up in closing tasks? But Robin said they were leaving right then on the phone… 8 minutes ago.

The roar of an engine on the quiet road pushes through your thoughts, turning your head when you hear tires crunching on loose gravel.

But it’s not Steve’s BMW you see. It’s the oh-so familiar van. 

Eddie.

Your stomach drops at the sight as he pulls up right in front of you, leaning over to lower the passenger window.

“Get in, I’ll give you a ride home.”

“I um,” your palms rub against your thighs as you rise from your seat, looking down the streets before meeting his gaze. “I already have one. I’m waiting for Steve and Rob, we have plans tonight.”

He doesn’t respond, only stares at you with an almost sympathetic look. As you read his expression, his lack of a response, the realization hits you under his gaze. Inhaling sharply as you look down the streets, lips tightening into a firm line.

“Goddamn it, Harrington.” you mutter under your breath. 

He set you up.

After your call to Family Video, Steve hastily called Eddie, setting their plan to ‘corner’ you into motion.

You take one last look at the empty streets, knowing that BMW isn’t coming. With a huff, you walk toward the passenger door of the van, climbing in. Eddie doesn’t waste any time pulling out of the parking lot and back onto Main Street, heading in the direction of the trailer park.

An uncomfortable silence falls between the two of you, only the low volume of a Black Sabbath tape flowing through the van.

Your anxiety grows when Eddie continues driving past the turn leading to the trailer park. You quickly look at him. “I thought you were taking me home?”

“I will. Just going somewhere else first.” he returns simply, eyes never wavering from the road to meet yours.

You hastily light another cigarette in an attempt to calm your nerves and the anxiety sitting in your gut. Mind racing as you try to determine your destination. When the van turns onto a dirt road you’ve been on a few times before, you know exactly where he’s taking you.

Soon enough you see the moonlight glimmering off the water as the coverage of the trees lining the road clears up to the shore of Lover’s Lake. At the end of the road, he turns the van and backs it up so the backdoors will open to the shoreline. The sound of the soft lapping of waves is the only thing you hear when he kills the engine. 

Eddie hesitates his next move, sitting idly in the driver's seat. Looking down as he fidgets with the rings on his fingers before opening his door, climbing out of the van and shutting it behind him. Leaving you sitting there dumbfounded in the passenger seat.

This is it. They haven’t given you a choice in the matter. Both Eddie and your friends have had enough of your avoidance. Side-stepping Eddie for weeks and your feelings for even longer.

You’re sure this is his confrontation, not letting you leave until you’ve satisfied his questions.

Maybe he already knows your answers, the real answers. Who knows what Steve and Robin told him. You don’t believe they’d spill the beans so easily, but maybe they’ve grown so tired of witnessing this dance with Eddie that they’ve told him the truth themselves. Your heart doesn’t believe they would, but your anxiety isn’t consoled by that belief in this moment.

You hear the creak of the backdoors of the van opening from behind you, followed by the subtle shift in movement with Eddie’s body. A quick peek confirms it, his back towards you as he sits on the edge of the van, watching the water with a lit cigarette.

With a shaky breath you open your door and climb out, taking slow steps walking the length of the van till you’re at the back. Arms crossed against your chest, the toe of your shoe lazily digs into the dirt.

“What are we doing here, Eds?”

He takes a long drag of the cigarette, head hanging as he tries to find the right words, the right way to approach this.

“I… figured it was a nice place to talk.” His eyes finally look up to meet yours for the first time since he picked you up.

“To talk?”

He sighs, rubbing his free hand along the black denim covering his thigh.

“Y/N… I know there’s something going on that you’re not telling me. You’ve been pulling away, you’re not around as much and-and you give all these good excuses but I know there’s another reason for it. I can feel it.” His brown eyes are pleading as they look into yours before you divert your gaze away toward the lake, the speed of your heartbeat rising.

“I just… I can’t do this” you shake your head as you face the ground, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth to chew anxiously.

“All these years you’ve been able to tell me almost everything. What’s so different now, huh? With whatever it is that’s going on?” he pushes, the pleading in his eyes now seeping into his voice. “Did I do something?”

“God. No, Eddie. You didn’t do anything.”

“Then why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because… Because it’ll change the way you look at me, Eddie. Our friendship, everything. It won’t be the same.” you insist, fighting the panicked feeling from filling your stomach and rising up your throat. Your words and the distressed look creeping onto your face brings him to his feet, moving to approach you.

“Hey. Look at me.” His hands grab onto your arms, holding you in place to face him.

“Nothing could ever change that. Change our friendship and how much you mean to me. Hell, even after not speaking to me for 3 years, you’re still my best friend. Losing you is the last thing I want, and these last few weeks I’ve been terrified that’s exactly what’s happening. I can’t lose you again, Y/N. So please, just tell me what’s going on.” His voice is soft and sincere, only adding to the overwhelming emotions coursing through your body.

Panic. Fear. Worry. Guilt. Shame.

Scared to finally reveal the feelings you’ve held and hidden for so long. Guilt at seeing and hearing through his voice the hurt you’re causing him. It’s enough to push you in the direction you know you need to take. You can’t keep doing this to yourself, to him. Neither of you deserve it, but certainly not the boy you’ve loved for so long who stands before you, pleading for you to let him in and stop casting him out.

“Okay. Okay. Fine… I’ll tell you just- just give me a minute, okay?” You look into his eyes, offering a plea of your own. He nods softly, removing his hands from your arms and taking a step back, returning to his previous spot on the back edge of the van. Elbows on his knees, eyes following your figure as you begin to pace back and forth in front of him.

Your movements falter bringing yourself to one spot in front of him, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. You tilt your head back, facing the sky as you close your eyes. Taking a deep breath, attempting to hold back the tears threatening to slip. Your head falls back down to face him, ready as you’ll ever be.

“When I told you why I stopped talking to you for those years I was away… I didn’t exactly lie, but I didn’t tell you the whole truth either. It’s the same reason why I’ve been distant these last few weeks.” You begin, arms wrapped around yourself for comfort as he sits there, listening intently. 

“And the reason is that…I love you.” You confess with a shaky breath, daring your eyes to meet his. His brow furrows as he looks at you, confusion etched across his features.

“I-I don’t understand. I love you too… you’re my best-”

“No, Eddie…” you cut him off with a sigh, frustrated with yourself most of all. That you’ve held this in for so long, regardless of how he’s going to take it.

“I don’t just love you… I’m in love with you. I-I always have been.”

There it is. 

The culmination of years of feelings, memories, touches that linger for seconds longer than they should, pain, and lust. Finally out in the open. 

A weight is off your shoulders but the confession doesn’t subside the anxiety swirling in your body, pushing you further.

Your feet move you to pace again, refusing to look at Eddie. Avoiding an expression that’ll break your heart before the words even come out of his mouth.

“I just, I couldn’t handle the pain and the feelings for you when I moved away, that was the real underlying reason why I stopped calling. I thought out of sight out of mind, you know? That my feelings would go away but they never did. A-and moving back just made those feelings for you more intense and then with the concert and your birthday, it was just so overwhelming” you ramble, barely taking a breath as the manifestation of your anxiety flows from your lips. The more you talk, the more you delay the inevitable response you expect from him.

“I know it’s foolish but I just did the same thing again. Thinking if I just put some distance between us it would go away. A-and I never said anything because I know you could never feel the same way about m-” 

You’re so focused on overexplaining yourself, staring at the moving ground below your feet that you don’t notice when he stands from his spot. 

He moves in front of you, hands returning to your arms to stop your pacing before they move up to softly cup your red, chubby cheeks. You barely have the time to process what’s happening before his lips come crashing down onto yours. It feels like time stands still, your mind in shock.

A gasp escapes your mouth before you press your lips just as hard against his. The feeling of his soft lips releasing all the tension held tight in your body, relaxing your chest and shoulders as one of your hands slides up to tangle itself in his messy curls. A motion you’ve fantasized about doing for so long. 

His actions speak louder than words ever could. Conveying years of suppressed feelings, wants and desires for you. Years of heartache from all the things he’s wanted to do with you, lost time from tiptoeing around your feelings for each other for so long. It’s all come to this very moment. He puts every ounce of the years of love, desire, and lust he’s held for you into the kiss.

Your eyes squeeze shut hard, but it doesn’t stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. Hitting his thumb before he gently wipes it away. The gesture only causes more streaks to stain your cheeks.

You feel like you’re dreaming. This can’t be real, but his touch grounds you. Losing yourself in his lips, not stuck in your thoughts for the first time in weeks. 

Just him. 

Consuming every fiber of your being.

His lips part from yours, but his touch lingers. His forehead and nose press against yours. Thumb wiping away the stray tears on your cheeks as you look into his dark irises. Falling silent as you catch your breaths. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that, sweetheart.” He mutters softly, moving a hand from your cheek to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Catching sight of the gloss covering his eyes, tears filling his waterline and threatening to spill.

In those few seconds, the guilt comes flooding back in.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie. I didn’t know how to handle it or what to do. I didn’t think you could ever see me as more than just your friend.”

“I’d call you crazy for not being able to see it this whole time, but I guess that makes me crazy too”

“Safe to say we’re both crazy… and stupid”

“Very stupid”

You smile at each other like idiots, holding one another in a tight embrace. Enjoying the touch you’ve both craved from each other for so long. 

“Don’t feel too bad about it. I didn’t know how to handle it, either. I never thought you could love me that way.”

You scoff at the admission, looking over all the features you’ve loved for so long, illuminated in the glow of the moonlight.

“I’ve always seen you for you, Eddie. When no one else has… and I love every part of you.”

He takes a shaky breath, closing his eyes with a small smile. A single tear falling down his cheek. 

You’re right. You’re the only person outside of Wayne who’s seen him for who he truly is- good and bad, strengths and weaknesses. That someone could see him at his lowest lows, see his faults and traumas, see the real him through his reputation and still love him, and not just despite all those things. Truly love him. He never thought that was possible.

And here you are, telling him you’ve been in love with him this whole time.

Confidence overtakes you, letting yourself lean in to kiss the single tear, stopping it from falling further down and meeting his jawline.

His eyes slowly open, thumb caressing your cheekbone as he looks at you with such endearment. 

Everything in this moment makes you feel lightheaded.

The weight off your shoulders at finally confessing your feelings, let alone Eddie reciprocating them. The lingering sensation on your lips of his. His breath fanning against your face. The way his eyes are full with so much love and adoration.

Now that you know what it feels like, you only want more. You press your lips to his again, moving against each other seamlessly, almost they were made for his. The kiss is gentler than the first, taking your time with each other but holding just as much passion. His arms wrap around your waist, holding you tight against his firm, warm chest.

When your lips part again, your hands slide behind his head. Nuzzling your face into his neck, standing there in a tight embrace with nothing but the soft sounds of the lake, your heartbeats and breaths surrounding you. Despite feeling like time has stood still in your heart-to-heart with Eddie, it flies by later into the night. The outing to the lake has served its purpose, lost in each other’s touch until the late February air sends shivers down your spines.

“It’s getting cold out here, hun. Let’s head home, yeah?”

You nod against his chest, regretfully pulling apart from him before his hand snakes down to intertwine his fingers with yours. Guiding you to the passenger door of the van that he quickly opens for you, helping you in.

Comforting heat quickly fills the van as Eddie pulls off the dirt road. The roar of the engine sends a relaxing vibration through the seats. The familiar melody of Black Sabbath playing through the speakers. Eddie’s warm hand reaching to hold yours as street lights pass overhead. The long day behind you of school, work, and an emotional night with Eddie.

They all come together, taking their toll and lulling you into a state of relaxation as exhaustion kicks in. Your eyelids grow heavy and you don’t have the energy to fight it. 

He glances at you from the driver’s seat. Hearing your heavy breaths and the movement of your chest with them. Head slumped against the headrest. 

He doesn’t think his heart has ever felt so full, warm and swelling at the sight.

As he brings his eyes back to the road, he makes a mental note that he’s going to have to thank Steve and Robin big time.

“Sweetheart”

Your heavy eyelids flutter open at the sound, warmth rubbing against your thigh. Through blurry vision you recognize you’re still in the van, only now parked in Wayne’s driveway. To your side, Eddie stands in the open frame of the passenger door.

“Hey, we’re home.” his voice is so soft, yet husky.

You attempt to rub the sleep from your eyes before you greet him with a tired smile, sliding your hand in his as he helps you out of the van.

“I um, I hope I’m not being too forward asking this but- do you wanna stay with me tonight?” he asks hesitantly, puppy dog eyes staring into yours.

“I’d love that. But, I’ve been sweating all night and I smell like grease…”

He laughs, glancing down at your hands held in his before looking back up to you.

“I don’t mind if you don’t.”

“Well good, cause I don’t think I could stand long enough for a shower if I wanted to.”

“Better get you inside before you collapse on me, then.” he smirks, wrapping an arm around you. Hand resting on your waist as you trudge up the steps into Uncle Wayne’s trailer.

You thank yourself for keeping an emergency change of clothes in Eddie’s closet, keeping your desire to be comfortable in mind for movie nights after Hellfire meetings. You slip into the bathroom, changing into the spare pair of sweatpants and a tank top as quickly as your tired limbs can manage.

Entering Eddie’s room, you’re greeted with the sight of him already laid in bed with a lit joint between his lips. Dressed in a faded Motorhead shirt and boxers. 

You’ve shared sleeping quarters plenty of times over the years, but now with your feelings for each other in the open and the sore tingling that lingers on your lips from his, shyness overcomes you. With rosy cheeks you shuffle your way to the other side of the bed, climbing in beside him before he passes the joint to you.

Gladly accepting the hit, smoke fills the bedroom with a comfortable silence falling between you. His arm extends behind your head, beckoning your cheek to rest against the warm, bare skin of his bicep. 

“Sooooo” he begins, exhaling smoke from his lips before his eyes fall on you. “Does this mean you're my girl now?”

His voice falls soft on your ears, almost shy as his lips form a small smile. You blush at the question, diverting your eyes from his as you take the joint from his fingers for another hit.

“I’ve always been your girl. Even when you didn’t know it.”

“Well that makes two of us then” he smile widens before faltering. “Well- not girl. I mean, your boy?... I guess… whatever, you know what I mean.” 

You giggle and he swears it’s his favorite sound in the whole world. Admiring the way your smile spreads to your round cheeks, making them pop out even more. If he didn’t already know you’d slap his hand away he’d pinch them, something he did one too many times to tease you in your younger years.

You turn on your side fully facing him as he takes the final hit of the joint, putting it out in the ashtray on the bedside table. Looking over his features, smiling when he catches you. Your hand reaches out to push his loose curls away from his face, breath catching in his throat at the sensation of your warm fingers grazing against his cheek.

“You’re so beautiful, Eds” you breathe out, causing blood to rush to his cheeks. 

“You’re the most beautiful girl these cynical eyes have ever seen.” he recites like poetry, gazing adoringly at you.

“That was you?” Eyes widening at the realization.

“Who else did you think it was?”

“I don’t know… I thought it was just some prank.”

“Yeahh… you didn’t look too happy in class after I figured you’d seen it.”

You shake your head thinking back on it.

“It just brought up bad memories of that guy I told you about, Justin. All that stuff that happened with him… it was this time last year. Valentine’s Day and all.”

You watch his chest rise and fall with a sigh. A mix of anger and love filling him, seeing the lingering effects that asshole has left on you. His free hand reaches out to grab yours, thumb gently caressing the skin on the back of it.

“Hey” he calls your attention back to him, begging your eyes to meet his again. “You don’t have to worry about anything like that ever happening to you again.” he declares reassuringly.

You never thought you could love him more before tonight, and here he is yet again proving you wrong. When his head slowly creeps closer to yours, you don’t waste a second meeting him half way. Lips colliding in a slow kiss, soft breaths escaping each time your mouths part before meeting again, closing the distance between as your chest presses against him. 

When sleepiness inevitably begins to take you over again, he wraps both arms around you and holds you against him. Your own sliding around his waist as your head finds a place on his chest for the night. Countless nights sleeping next to each other, Eddie finally gets to close the distance and hold you the way he’s always wanted. Chin resting atop your head, he’s the closest he’s ever felt to pure bliss.

With Eddie wiping away all your worst fears of what finally revealing your true feelings for him would look like, you easily give in to letting your heavy eyelids close. The rhythmic sound of his heart beating against your ear soothing you to sleep.

[chiliechicken]

𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈 𝐊.┊★ you're seriously crying? Denki Kaminari x GN!Reader, Angst, OOC, Breakup, BF!Denki

Relationships were always so difficult. They were never decent and they were never fair for you. Relationships that you had always ended with your heart breaking into a million pieces once you've realized that it was never meant to be and that you only fooled yourself. Past boyfriends, past girlfriends, they all had left you disappointed and hurt.

You couldn't count how many times you had begged your exes to give you the bare minimum in a relationship. Stay loyal, engage in conversations, comfort one another, communicate through problems. The simple necessities in a relationship that somehow none of them gave a single damn to try.

It was frustrating. A lot of these relationships caused many of your problems now. You had trust issues due to exes cheating, inability to communicate due to them always shutting you down, trouble opening up because you forgot how to since they never listened to you, even the trouble of seeing worth within yourself since they always degraded you.

Then again, you still had a fault in all of it considering you never learned your lesson and stopped dating these types of people.

Even now, you haven't learned. Your current relationship is ass, sorry to say. At first, it was the best thing that has ever happened to you. Then it descends into the toxic waste you call the 3-month mark when true colors are finally revealed. It was always like this.

Right now, you were considering breaking up with your boyfriend for multiple reasons. He's been distant lately, refusing to engage in conversations with you and refusing to hangout with you whenever he's free. He's been prioritizing his friends more than you, leaving you feeling lonely and neglected.

"Denki, can you come over later?"

You asked your boyfriend as you walked up to him, interrupting his conversation with his classmates. He visibly frowns and looks at you, "I'm busy later." he replies in a whisper before looking back at his friends. "It's Saturday tomorrow. Can't you make time for me? It'll only be a few minutes, I swear." You plead with him, though he ignores you continues talking with his friends. "Denki?" You call out, no response. You sigh before quietly walking away in disappointment.

While you understand that he has the right to choose who he wants to be at the moment, you can't help but feel like he's been avoiding you a lot more recently. It kinda hurts you to be honest.

Even if you try to talk to him about whatever his interests were at the time, he still didn't want to chat with you for.. whatever the fuck reason he had that day. 'I'm busy', 'I'm not in the mood', 'I don't like explaining things', 'I don't like that anymore'. It's getting tiring having to watch him walk away from you to go to his friends and chat with them happily.

Sometimes whenever you try to grab his attention, he just either completely ignores you or gets mad at you for bothering him. He's always fine with other people bothering him, even when he's doing work. But when it comes to you, bothering him in any circumstance would just lead to him giving you a nasty look. He'll always tell you how you're being an attention-seeker, or that you're embarrassing him by pleading for a sliver of his time.

You were currently walking back to the dorms with your boyfriend and his friends, listening to their conversation and watching them laugh and joke around. You held onto his arm and walked alongside him with a smile on your face. Hanta, one of his closest friends, saw this and decided that he'd make a joke out of it. "Oh my gosh! Don't leave me out, love!" He dramatically exclaimed before snatching Denki's arm away from your hold, forcing you to step back.

Your boyfriend and his friends laughed at the scene and Denki looked at you with a huge grin on his face, but you didn't have the same pleasant expression. Other students looked at your group as you looked down at their interlocked arms. You looked back up at your boyfriend, wanting to slap off that fucking smirk off his face. But you resisted the urge to do so and stormed off.

Once you were back at your dorm, you managed to compose yourself and reflect on the situation. You didn't mind that their jokes were usually.. like that. You found it funny, actually. The mere thought of homies usually being affectionate with each other made you laugh. You weren't sure why today bothered you so much. It happened all the time, why was now different? You sighed and thought about it. Was it because it was physical? I mean, you got embarrassed, for sure. People watched it happen, they saw how you were just casted aside as your boyfriend and his friends laughed at you. Maybe it was the fact that Denki didn't even bother considering your feelings.

Gah! It was stressing you out. You let out a long breath before grabbing your phone and sending him a message about how you felt. It was only mature to at least tell him how much it bothered you, right? At least you wouldn't keep it suppressed and possibly make the situation worse for yourself.

You waited for an hour before he finally texted back. As you read the text, you couldn't help but feel your blood boil. 'You embarrassed me in front of my friends. Of course I'm mad at you.'

At this point, you weren't even sure you could be called his partner anymore because he's treating you so much like a loser of a friend who's desperate for any sort of human interaction.

He doesn't even text you anymore and you always have to be the one to make the first move to talk to him through a screen. Even then, he doesn't check your message at least an hour after you sent a text, waiting for a day or two to pass just to send you a dry message. He doesn't say 'I love you' anymore, he doesn't bother on comforting you whenever you're emotionally low, he doesn't play his favorite games with you anymore, he doesn't smile at you anymore...

Every time the two of you talk was always during arguments. He would always say how being in a relationship was stressing him out and how he wished he never liked you. It hurt. Real bad.

God, it was exhausting. You're putting all the effort into keeping this relationship alive while he just sits there and does nothing. Is this a rant? Yes.

As you lie on your bed, staring up at the ceiling, you were planning exactly how and when you were going to break it off with him. With your plan set in mind, you stood up and got ready for the day.

You ironed your uniform, took a shower, got dressed, and packed your book bag. Today you finally end your suffering as well as this putrid thing you call your relationship. You head to class and let the day pass quickly. You were nervous when school hours had ended. All day, you couldn't help but think about the possible outcomes from this.

What if he gets mad? What if he doesn't care? What if you cry? What if you suddenly back out?

Too late for that now. You shook your head and tried to clear your thoughts as you counted the steps it took to get to his classroom. Today would probably be the last time you'll be visiting this room for him, and you were happy to accept that.

You were nervous. So nervous. Your hands were shaking and you felt so lightheaded. Denki had never been that expressive towards you, so you were already expecting him to not even react one bit. That thought alone was driving you mad. It can't be like that, right? I mean, you've been together for.. months! He'd at least show a little emotion. You hoped.

Upon arrival at his classroom, you spot him sitting on his table as he talked with his classmate, Kyoka. You furrowed your brows at the sight, feeling jealousy beneath your feelings of resentment towards Denki. Kyoka's always been the better person between the two of you. That was your general opinion on her. She was better than you because she makes him laugh. She's the one he always talks to. She never made him upset. She always knew what to do with her feelings.

You were sure Denki liked her.

Shaking your head, you saw another one of their classmates, Mezo, and asked to excuse Denki. The boy nodded and called him over. As soon as he saw you his smile vanished, and it hit you hard. You waited to speak until he was in front of you, a few steps away and keeping his distance.

"Yeah..?"

You took a deep breath and ran your fingers through your hair, composing yourself before then looking him in the eyes. Oh, how you'll miss staring into them. They've lost their shine ever since you came around.

"Can we talk? In, uhm.. private."

Denki quirked his brow at the tone of your voice and crossed his arms. He hummed before grabbing your arm and leading you away from the classroom and towards the staircase. You instinctively pulled away as you got there, stepping back from him. You tried to maintain eye contact with him but eventually looked away, feeling yourself get nervous by the second.

"I don't think you're ready for a relationship yet. We're done."

He stared at you quietly with his expression slightly shocked. You waited for him to talk, to cry, to show some kind of response. None. You couldn't turn your face to see his. You wanted to but something within you advised you to not do so. You sigh, scratching your cheek while you spoke softly, "I-I'm sorry—"

"You can't be serious." Denki chuckled as he stepped closer to you, reaching out to hold your hand. "S-Stop.." you backed away and kept your hands to your chest, your brows furrowed in frustration. "Stop trying to touch me."

He looked at you as if you've lost your mind. He couldn't understand how you could break up with him. What did he do wrong? He gave you his all, what more did he lack? Why are you doing this to him?

Denki didn't even notice the salty tears streaming down his cheeks as he desperately tried to reach out to you, his hands shaking, "Y-You're kidding, right? You wouldn't actually say that, y-you... You can't leave me!" he stuttered out as he cupped your face in his hands, his voice cracking and his nervous grin faltering.

You slapped his hands away and pushed him back, glaring down at him, "Why are you crying..?" you asked with an almost venomous tone in your voice. You couldn't understand why he was crying. Isn't this what he wanted? With the way he was treating you, you were more than sure that he hated being in a relationship.

"Isn't this what you wanted? Why the fuck are you clinging to me?! Let me go!" you slapped him in the face when he got closer, the pain-filled sting on your palm lingering. You were starting to lash out. Confusion and hatred filled your mind as he continued to cry, begging for you to stay with him. Despite already hurting him both physically and emotionally, why does he still plead?

"P-Please!"

Why does he still want you to be with him?

"Let's talk this out. Don't you want that?"

Why won't he stop crying?

"[Name], please, please..."

Why couldn't you just walk away from this mess of a man?

You watched as he crumbled down to his knees, his hands holding onto your legs, begging for you to stay and forgive him, to continue being his.

"Y-You're the first person to accept me instead of rejecting me. You're the first one t-to like me!" Denki exclaimed, his nose and eyes red from crying and his body shaking.

You moved away from him and gripped your bag tighter. You were starting to feel lightheaded again as students in the hallway began to look at the two of you. You felt embarrassed this time instead of him. It felt new to you.

"What the hell is going on?"

The two of you snapped your heads to look where the voice came from. You saw his friends standing behind you, just a few feet away. They stared at you. They looked at you with expressions of confusion and anger.

"Denki! Dude, you good?" Mina exclaimed in concern, going over to pat his back. She knelt beside him and Denki immediately embraced her, crying into his shoulder. "Step back from him, that man doesn't need a hug. Get the fuck up, idiot. You're in the middle of a hallway." Katsuki spat harshly before gently kicking his legs, urging for him to stand up.

You watched the scene before you, feeling a sense of jealousy and betrayal. "You're such a fucking manchild, Kaminari. Grow a pair."

You stormed past his friends as you walked down the hallway and away from them. You could hear Denki yell out for you, but you ignored his words and continued to walk away. You felt a bit bad, leaving him there crying. But at the same time you felt so relieved finally being able to get out of that relationship.

★┊this is my longest oneshot because it's quite literally a rant about my ex and how I felt so shitty with him because he treated me so shittily(?)

not one of my best because of how OFF CHARACTER Denki is but I don't know who else to use because my ex acts a lot like him; social, jokester, flirty, and really friend-oriented

this is basically how shit went down except uhh, he didn't really cry and beg for me to stay, he just didn't say or do anything, just nodded and let me leave which hurts like bro say something, you ain't a statue

so uh yeah, sorry for the long hiatus, at least school is done and I can go back to posting, thanks yall

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Princess & The Playboy (Part 3)

Summary: The reader finds out what Eric's issue with Dean is. Meanwhile, Dean and the reader continue to explore their relationship while keeping it under wraps. But some things are easier said than done...

Masterlist

Pairing: NFL Quarterback!Dean x Pop Star!reader

Word Count: 5,800ish

Warnings: language, family trauma/angst, kidnapping

A/N: These two are just so 🥹

_________

Reader POV

You felt good when you woke up, despite the alarm blaring in your ear. The air was warm and a heavy weight hung over your waist. You fluttered open your eyes, a stupid smile on your face when you saw a sleeping Dean beside you. His hair was messy and you noticed there was a blanket on top of you that hadn’t been there when you fell asleep.

You wanted to watch him at peace for longer but he started to stir, lazily rolling over to slap the alarm on his phone off.

“Morning,” he said, stretching out, rolling to his side to face you.

“Good morning.” He looked so soft and sleepy, his fingers reaching out to push hair out of your face. 

“Sorry for crashing.”

“I’m not.” He grinned, leaning over to peck a kiss on your lips. 

“I hate to run but I l’ve got an early meeting and I get fined if I’m late,” he said, sitting up and cracking his back.

“Let me make you some coffee for the road.”

“I won’t say no to that.” Five minutes later he was walking downstairs with a clean face, still a bit tired looking. You hummed as you handed him your thermos full of coffee, Dean chuckling. “I like your purple mug.”

“It’s periwinkle,” you said, Dean taking it with another smile.

“It’s the color of the crop top you wore when you sang ‘Work It’.” You laughed, walking him to the front door.

“No lie, I literally sent them a pic of the thermos when I told them the color I wanted,” you said, Dean coming to a stop at the door, slipping his sneakers back on. 

“Well I like it,” he said, looking over your head at what was surely a lot of bedhead going on, laughing quietly. “You are so cute.”

He ruffled your hair and kissed your temple as he put a hand on the door. You felt your face flush, Dean grinning ear to ear.

“I’ll call you tonight,” he said. 

“Okay,” you said, wishing he didn’t have to go so soon. “Hey, you gonna tell me how your day really is when I ask this time?”

He laughed, opening the door. “We learned our lesson last night. Later, princess.”

“Later, Dean,” you said. “Be safe today.”

He froze in the doorway, looking over his shoulder, eyes on yours. “You too, sweetheart.”

You stepped outside to watch him leave, Eric appearing from the security shack after a moment.

“Morning, kiddo,” he said as you let him inside.

“Morning.” You went back to the kitchen, pouring two cups of coffee for yourselves. “You must trust Dean to give him the cherry blossom code.”

Eric swiped one of the mugs before sitting at the island, frowning when you spun around with a smile. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“I like that you like him Eric. It’s a good thing.”

“I don’t like him,” he grumbled. “He upset you and I figured he owed you an apology in person like a man.”

“We both know you could have let him over without telling him the-”

“I don’t like him,” Eric spat out. It was your turn to frown, Eric rolling his eyes. “Oh come on. He wants to fuck you, plain and simple. He clearly already fucked you and you don’t get that? Don’t be naive, you’re smarter than that.”

Your eye twitched as you set your mug down, stalking over to his side, leering down at him. He actually looked nervous. Good.

“Go to my office while I decide whether to fire you or not.” His jaw dropped, your finger immediately in his face. “No, you don’t get to act surprised. You don’t get to shame me for what I may or may not choose to do with my body. You don’t get to keep calling him a fuck boy that only wants to sleep with me like I’m a prize. You don’t just insult him when you say those things but you insult me too. So you go wait in my office while I calm the fuck down.”

Eric’s head lowered, nodding once. “Yes, Ms. Y/L/N.”

You were fuming as you watched him walk out of the kitchen and down the far hall, a door closing in the distance. “What the fuck is wrong with you Eric?”

An hour later you were walking out of your bedroom, fresh from a shower after a quick boxing session with the trainer. It hadn’t helped your temper, just gave you a pair of achy knuckles from not wrapping your hands well enough.

You steadied yourself before entering your office, Eric standing there facing the desk, hands clasped behind his back.

“You haven’t been standing the whole time, have you?” you asked, walking around him, taking a seat in your thick leather chair. He didn’t answer which meant yes. “Sit.”

He took the right chair, his body tense before he sat up straight, eyes locked onto your desk. You leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms at him.

“I’ll give you a choice. You can be honest with me and tell me what’s up with you. Or you can leave and go tell Marv he’s taking over your responsibilities until I find a replacement.” The second he started to move to stand you stood up, his eyes shooting to yours. “Sit down you idiot. I’m mad at you but I’m not letting you walk away from this job.”

“You were pretty clear what my options were,” he said, rising to his feet. You shook your head, Eric taking out his work phone and setting it on the desk. “I’ll clean out the spare room and be gone in ten minutes.”

“Sit your ass down, Clayton. Now.” He frowned but reluctantly sat, watching as you started to pace around the room. “If Dean did something, you tell me. You don’t keep things from me.”

“Dean did nothing wrong. I’m the one that’s antagonized him, more than once, both times without your knowledge.” You sat in the seat beside him, Eric’s gaze shooting across the room.

“Why, Eric? You’re a kind man. I’ve never seen you act like this, not since Dean contacted me the first time.” He pressed his lips into a thin line, pretending you weren’t there. “Alright. Put that aside for the moment. Why would you insult me and insinuate I had sex last night, which frankly is none of your concern? You’re not my fucking dad.”

“I am sorry,” he said quietly, glancing at me briefly, his eyes distant, like he was thinking about something else. “You’re right, it’s none of my business.”

You swallowed, reaching out to hold his hand, surprised to find it with a slight tremble. “Are you…jealous of Dean?”

Eric laughed, a bit of ease filling your veins. “No. No, kiddo I think we established I do not like you that way.”

“You mean when I asked you to fuck me a few years ago and you turned me down?” He closed his eyes, sighing deeply. “That is something I did. I know we pretend I didn’t but it happened.”

“Y/N, I know I’m attractive. You’re attractive. But you only asked because you felt shitty about turning thirty and being a virgin. You’re a romantic and you deserve to do it with someone you love, not the guy that’s there when you’re sad. That’s not you.”

“Still, you have no right to dismiss Dean as some guy that just wants to hookup. Because like you just said, you know me. If I really wanted to fuck someone, I can walk out the door and find someone. So the fact I waited until Dean, who I didn’t even go all the way with, should tell you something. He actually made me stop from doing more than some touching because he didn’t want to rush me.” Eric nodded as he opened his eyes, sadness filling them.

“I know you’re a big girl, Y/N. A woman. Dean…he’s a good guy for not rushing you and for coming over. He’s more mature than the media makes him seem,” he said. 

“Yes he is,” you said, squeezing his hand. “So if you know all those things, because I know you do because you are damn good at your job, why would you still be so cruel to him behind my back?”

“I’m protective of you,” he shrugged, meeting your gaze. But you knew him too well to buy it.

“You know Dean used to hook up with a lot of women…and you hook up with a lot of women…did he sleep with someone you liked?” Eric stared at you like you were nuts and you held up your hands. “Okay. It wasn’t that. But there has to be a reason to make you lose your cool.”

Eric gnawed on his bottom lip, casting his eyes downwards, staring at the stack of sticky notes on your desk. 

“You can tell me the truth,” you said, leaning towards him, taking his hand in yours again. “As your friend, please.”

“I wouldn’t sleep with you back then when you asked…because I love someone else and I can’t screw someone I actually care about. It feels wrong. But I can never be with this other woman because she hates me like I’m the devil.” He turned his head, a sad smile on his lips. “And you’re dating her fucking protectee.”

“Sloane,” you said softly, Eric nodding. “That’s why you guys were screaming at each other yesterday.”

“We were best friends once, a very long time ago. But I hurt her in a way you can’t fix. I hurt her how your parents hurt you. Some words, some actions, you can’t take back.” You nodded. Since the faux funeral for Max, things with your parents had been…strained. You didn’t doubt they loved you or that they regretted what they said. But for a few hours on a bleary Saturday afternoon, when your mom gave you the cold shoulder and your dad dismissed you, called you a diva for trying to make Max’s day about you…unconditional love became conditional. And you’d never managed to flip it back.

“Have you ever talked about Sloane with anyone?” He shook his head. “Do you want to?”

He was quiet, contemplating. He squeezed your hand and relaxed his shoulders. “Don’t repeat this. We did special ops together. She was dangerously good. I fucking fell for her within five minutes. I was pretty sure she had similar feelings. But you don’t fuck around with dating when your job is so violent. I always said when we got out, we’d give it a shot. But then we were on an op and Sloane was meant to infiltrate a building. I was her spotter and I was so busy watching her and thinking how beautiful she was, I didn’t see the guards coming. I fucked up and she got caught.”

“She looked okay when I saw her,” you tried to offer but he just shook his head.

“They hurt her. Words can’t describe how bad it was. We all have baggage from that job but that…that was the worst day of my life. But I blamed myself and when she wanted me, needed me, I left her broken in a hospital bed when all she wanted was for me to hold her and make her feel better. I am an awful person, Y/N.”

“You were in shock. You-”

“I got her kicked off the team.” You stared at him, Eric shrugging. “I went above our commanding officers head. I made it sound like she was too weak to do the job, that because she was a woman she couldn’t do it. She was my equal, better than me even, and I ruined her career because I didn’t know how to keep her safe. She knew it was me. The last time I saw her she was in a cast and sling and she screamed how much she hated me, how she’d never loved me.”

“So you wanted to get rid of Dean so you wouldn’t have to see her,” you said, Eric shaking his head. “Wait, why would you be mean to him then?”

“I left because I thought the girl with the baggage needed someone to focus on her alone. She didn’t need some fucked up guy with his own shit. I left and I lost her but Dean? He took a risk and he got you. He put himself first in my mind and he got you when I lost Sloane and I was so angry at him. Because he’s happy and I know I screwed up with her. All I had to do was hug her in that hospital bed and I’d have her…and I have to live with that consequence and not take it out on your boyfriend.” He cleared his throat and stood. “I will apologize to Dean the next time I see him and will accept whatever disciplinary action you think is fit.”

You took a moment to rise to your feet, Eric holding his head high. “I think an apology is in order but no disciplinary action.”

“You’ve fired people for less,” he said, glancing down with worried eyes. “I shouldn’t get special treatment because you pity me.”

“I do not pity you. I understand you. I’m not ex-military and I didn’t see all the awful things I’m sure you did but I understand living with a regret, blaming yourself.” He looked down, nodding once. “Trusting people is hard in this business and I have very few people I care about…that I know care about me. You’re an idiot if you think I’d ever let you go.”

“You said-”

“I was pissed and wanted you to listen to me instead of treating me like I didn’t know what I was doing. So you’re stuck with me. But I want you to not bottle those things up like Sloane. Talk to me or your guys or a therapist or whoever. Just don’t stew in your own head. Now give me a hug.” You held out your arms, Eric rolling his eyes with a smile on his face. He stepped into the hug and returned it, picking you up off the ground for a minute.

“Alright, alright. I’ll try to be better. Now what’s on todays schedule?”

Ten Hours Later

You groaned as you finally closed your laptop. All day back to back meetings were awful. The team was already prepping for a concert series next summer to headline the new album that didn’t yet exist.

Not to mention you didn’t want to do over 100 concerts across five months ever again. Thank god you only had two big ones left for the year.

“Working hard?” Dean said as you screamed, immediately throwing the lacrosse ball on your desk at the door. Dean jumped but not in time for the ball to miss his shoulder, a frown on his face. “Ow. Remind me not to ever prank scare you.”

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, Dean tossing the ball back to you. “I’m not use to guests this late without Eric telling me.”

“S’alright. I uh, texted you earlier that I wanted to come over and make you dinner. Eric said you’ve been working all day and would probably like that.” Your eyebrows raised as you put the ball on the desk and walked over, turning off the office light.

“You talked to Eric?” you asked, leaning up on your tiptoes to peck a kiss on his lips, Dean grinning when you pulled back.

“Yeah I called him,” he said, letting you lead him down the hall and towards the kitchen. “I didn’t want to go get stuff at the store if you were busy. He apologized to me and explained some…things to me about him and Sloane when I got here a few minutes ago,” he said, setting the two bags on the kitchen island before picking you up and setting you on the counter with a chuckle. 

Your face flushed as Dean washed up at the sink. “So are you guys cool now?”

“Sweetheart, I was always cool with him. I knew he’d come around to loving me eventually,” he said, flashing you a wink as he started to inspect your cabinets. “Where do you keep your cutting board?”

“Skinny cabinet by the stove,” you said, Dean humming to himself. “I’m surprised. Eric said he was being an ass.”

“Yeah but I mean I don’t blame him,” said Dean, finding the board and putting it on the island along with a knife from the block on the counter. He shot you a side glance as he took ingredients out of the bag. “If I was in his shoes, I’d probably want to get rid of the guy that brings with him the constant reminder of losing the love of my life too, you know?”

“It was still immature of him.”

“I’m a guy. Of course I’m still immature,” said Eric, walking into the kitchen with a smirk, eyeing the food Dean had gotten, giving an approving nod. “Dean knows what I mean.”

“Men in general are a very immature species,” he said, the air in the room relaxed. “We’re quite stupid.”

“Extremely,” said Eric, fishing into his pocket and pulling out a small black clicker. He set it on the island, Dean not paying attention while he organized his ingredients. “Winchester.”

Dean glanced to his right, Eric nodding at the clicker. 

“You will carry this with you at all times when you are not with Sloane in public or at one of your facilities with security,” said Eric. Dean raised an eyebrow but Eric simply looked at you.

“Your management team will find out eventually. I don’t trust Rowan not to leak this relationship and once that happens,” Eric said, making sure Dean was watching him, “Your life will change. I wouldn’t advise going public places alone once that happens but I can’t enforce that on you. Use the clicker if you feel threatened and we will get someone to you quickly.”

“Alright,” said Dean with a nod. “Anything else I should know?”

“Yeah. Y/N’s been getting fight training for the past decade so if shit ever hit the fan, you follow her lead. She knows when to talk her way out, run or fight.”

“Good to know.”

“See you in the morning,” he said, lifting his chin when you raised your finger. “Yeah?”

“Can you work with Alex and your guys to find a suitable PR replacement? Rowan’s been pushy about how the date with Dean went and I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder all the time.”

“We’ll see if Emma’s available. She was my preferred choice but she had the babies at home. S’been a few years so she might want to come back,” he said. “I’ll work it.”

“Thank you, Eric,” you said. “Have fun tonight.”

“Always do,” he chimed back, whistling on his way out. 

“So,” said Dean, setting the knife down, some things already diced and prepped, “Do I have you all to myself finally?”

“Just you and the three dudes in the security shed but yup,” you laughed. He stepped in front of you, spreading your knees so he could settle between them. Heat rose to your cheeks as he leaned in close.

“You know it’s extremely hot you can handle yourself in a fight? I’m gonna hide behind you if shit ever went down,” he said, making you giggle. “I’m serious!”

“I think we’d be better off tag teaming them,” you said, Dean grinning. “He didn’t give you the clicker to scare you.”

“I know. I’m beginning to understand that once people find out about us, shit’s going to change.” He took your hands, holding them in your lap, a shy look in his eyes. “Can we keep this a secret for a little while?”

“I am all for that,” you said, both of you relaxed. “I want to get to know you more, just us.”

“Me too,” he whispered, brushing his lips over yours. “They’re gonna say I corrupted you.”

“They’re gonna say I tamed you.” He smirked, kissing you once, then twice, stealing your breath away.

“They’d be quite right,” he said, glancing down when your stomach grumbled loudly. “And you are one hungry girl. Okay, let’s get dinner on the road.”

Dean POV

Saturday Night

I was incredibly annoyed. Tonight was the first night all week I hadn’t spent with Y/N. Our schedules were both so busy during the week that we only had the evenings together. Her weekends had more downtime but we’d just started the season so mine was jam packed. I’d spent all day traveling from LA to New York to play the Jets tomorrow.

I could have lived with that if Y/N wasn’t playing a small concert tonight. In New York. She was literally a twenty minute uber ride away and I couldn’t go see her perform. It wasn’t about getting to see her sing live. Sure, I fucking loved it but I wanted to support her too. She would watch my game on TV tomorrow and it sucked I couldn’t do the same for her without risking outing ourselves.

But I mean…it was for a fundraiser event for her charity. A charity I’d just donated an assload of money to. Donors must have been on the guest list, right? I pulled out my phone, tapping the team group text.

Dean: You boys want to go to a fundraiser tonight?

Michael: I’d rather jump off a bridge.

Benny: I second that sentiment. I thought we were grabbing dinner and then going to get a decent night’s sleep?

Michael: I want a giant steak. 

Gabe: Are there going to be hot chicks at this fundraiser? I need to know all the facts before I make up my mind.

Dean: It’s Y/N’s event so I’m sure her New York friends will be there.

Benny: You didn’t say it was for your girlfriend.

Dean: I never said she was.

Michael: You’ve been smiling at your phone all fucking week. She’s your girlfriend. And I’d still rather jump off a bridge…but hot girls would help ease my pain and suffering.

Benny: Coach will have our ass if we get drunk the night before a game.  He wasn’t happy we were out so late last week.

Dean: Come on. You shits have more money than you know what to do with. Donate a little, meet some girls. Maybe they’ll take pity on your ugly asses.

Gabe: I’m in. But dinner first. I’m starving.

Michael: Same. Ben’s in too.Benny: Fine. But Dean’s footing the bill tonight.

Michael: I thought it was obvious Mr. Moneybags was paying.

Gabe: Hey if I walk around in booty shorts will you give me ten million too?

Dean: I need to get better friends.

Two hours later and a text to Eric, we were walking into a ballroom that was decked out in black and lavender drapes and balloons. 

“Is that the chick from-” started Michael.

“Uh huh,” said Benny, leaning in close. “How famous is Y/N exactly?”

“Didn’t she win an Oscar last year?” asked Gabe as a vaguely familiar actress walked past us.

“Just don’t act like idiots,” I said, heading for the open bar and getting an old fashioned. Michael and Gabe had wandered off and were currently chatting up a pair of actresses from a rom-com last year. 

“Every single chick in here is staring at you,” said Benny. I turned to my right, chuckling when I saw him sipping on a flute of champagne. “Fuck you. I can be classy.”

“I’ve watched you drink beer out of a funnel multiple times.” He flipped me the bird, putting his back to the bar, leaning it against it like I did, watching Y/N walk out on stage in a pair of tight ripped skinny jeans, a black corset crop top and a lavender flannel tied around her waist.

“You’re gonna give yourself away if you don’t at least talk to any of these women,” said Benny. I took a sip drag from my glass.

“Trying a new tactic this season. No hookups,” I said, listening as Y/N thanked people for their donations.

“Bullshit,” scoffed Benny. “You’re so a thing with Y/N.”

“No hookups with people that aren’t my girlfriend,” I said with a smirk. “Don’t-”

“I’m not stupid. If it gets out, it won’t be because of us,” he said, music cueing up in the background. “I don’t recognize this song. She didn’t play it at the concert last week.”

“Because it’s from her first album,” I said, raising my eyebrows as Y/N started to bounce around the stage.  My smile started to grow, Y/N getting into it more and more before she suddenly jumped.

“Is this that one they played all the time during the draft?”

“Yup.” I didn’t have to wonder long why she was singing ‘Boyfriend.’ When she saw me in the crowd, she blushed, winking as if it were part of the choreography. But I saw the quick look of surprise on her face. The way he smile seemed even bigger than before.

“So bribing chicks into dates really works huh?” teased Benny.

“Having a kidnapped sibling also helps,” I chuckled, Benny flinching out of the corner of my eye. “What?”

“You’ve talked about Sam more this week than you have in years.” I sipped on my drink, Benny squeezing my shoulder. “I should have told you about what she said back in college. You two would have gotten together a long time ago.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” I said, Benny’s eyebrows raising. “We were both too hurt back then. We’re still hurt but it’s different now.”

“Whatever it is, she seems like a good fit.”

“Thanks man,” I said, eyeing him up and down. “Now how much are you going to pony up to the charity tonight?”

“I’m gonna let you get sacked tomorrow,” he grumbled. 

“And ruin your stats? As if,” I scoffed, Y/N rolling right into another song. She performed for about half an hour and when she finished, absolutely every A-lister in the place wanted her attention. It took another hour for her to finally make her way over to us.

“Mr. Winchester,” she said, giving me a small nod as she took in the boys. “Michael Haven. Tight End. Gabe Tricks. Runningback. Nice to meet you both.”

“Oh the pleasure is all ours,” said Michael with a wink, ignoring my death glare.

“And Benjamin,” she said, giving Benny a big smile. “Who could forget my English buddy? He’s the number one offensive lineman in the league and he knows Tolstoy? Saved my ass from failing more than once.”

“Oh but you helped get me through Jane Austen,” he chuckled, giving her a hug, Y/N glancing up at me.

“Nice to see you again, Mr. Winchester.” 

“Oh for sure,” I teased, trying to keep my smile from being too giddy. “I brought my friends since they’re so eager to donate themselves.”

Her face lit up, the guys hiding their grimaces well. “Really? Obviously please don’t feel obligated to donate as much as Dean did which was frankly ridiculous but every dollar helps.”

“What exactly does your charity do?” asked Michael warily. I understood his hesitation. He’d been burned early on in his career when he hooked up with a bad agent and now he didn’t trust anyone with his money, even charities.

“Lots of things!” she said excitedly, Eric coming into view in my peripheral. I hadn’t seen him all night but I imagined he was keeping a close eye on her. “We do everything from prevention through school training programs, providing funds to rural communities to install lights, cameras, set up neighborhood watch programs and more to tracking cold cases, identifying possible trafficking rings, working with the FBI to provide our leads and even shutting down rings. We even have resources for reuniting families and providing support for both the survivors and their families to process re-unification, helping identify someone as no longer missing or dead and helping bridge education gaps and entry into the workforce.”

The boys just stared at her. Y/N had given me the low-down on Monday afternoon about the charity at my house and it had been obvious how deeply she cared about not just Max but all families that had been affected by such an awful experience.

“I know it sounds like a money grab, especially when we’ve only helped recover about fifty survivors but every penny goes into helping. Prevention is our number one priority,” she said. 

“Honestly, it sounds like you’re doing a lot,” said Benny. “Where do I signup?”

“By the entrance is a table where you can donate right now or get on our mailing list,” she said.

“Sounds cool,” said Michael, the boys heading over to the table, Y/N turning to me. 

“I didn’t go overboard did I? I get kind of blabbery when talking about the charity I’ve been told.” I resisted the urge to tuck her hair behind her ear, ease her worries.

“I think they were shocked at how much you do. Saving fifty people and stopping how many more from getting taken is nothing to scoff at,” I said. She shrugged. “Y/N. That’s fucking awesome.”

“Yeah but I didn’t do those things. I just use my fame to collect a big bucket of money to pay other people to find people.”

“Well if you didn’t there wouldn’t be a big bucket of money in the first place,” I said, bopping her nose, quickly pulling my hand away. “I, uh…”

“Tell your friends thank you,” she said, taking a step back, a coy smile on her lips. “Goodnight, Mr. Winchester.”

“Goodnight, princess.”

“I credit all the work the team did during the offseason,” I said after the game the next day. It’d been a blowout but we had a Thursday night game in a few days to prepare for and it’d be much harder. “Back to basics always works.”

“Any word on how the now infamous date with the Princess of Pop, Y/N Y/L/N, herself went? There’s word you were at her fundraiser last night and she was at the game today. Seems to be sending a signal,” the reporter asked. 

Fuck, she’d been at the game?

“I mean, I’m a fan, don’t get me wrong,” I laughed, trying to get off topic of the date. “We had a very nice conversation about her charity over lunch last week and as a new donor, I wanted to go and support the cause. You know, it’s something Y/N and I share in common and as people who have both lost siblings to trafficking, we both understand the devastation it can cause to not only your own family but community. It’s not as flashy or well known as some other very worthy causes and it doesn’t affect as many people but it can change any family at any time. I think prevention is a goal we both share and I respect her for all of the change she’s already made. People think of her as an amazing performer and she is but she’s a good person too for all that she’s doing for communities across the country.”

“Thanks, Dean,” she said, allowing me to leave and head for the locker room. There I found a few texts waiting for me.

Y/N: Hey I’m sorry. I know we said we wanted to keep things a secret but my friends invited me to the game today and it’d look weird if I said no so I’m here at the game

Y/N: Okay it looks like you’re already on the field and won’t see this until later. Sorry again.

Y/N: Your butt looks cute in those pants.

Y/N: YOU GOT A TOUCHDOWN??? I THOUGHT THEY PAID YOU TO JUST THROW THE BALL AND LOOK HOT

Y/N: How can they be allowed to hit you so late?

Y/N: Nvm. They threw one of those flag things

Y/N: Congrats on the win! Come over tomorrow night and I’ll make you dinner to celebrate?

“You’re on, sweetheart.”

Two weeks later, we fucked up. We thought a Friday night run to McDonald’s for some late dinner would be safe enough. But some kid took a picture of us at the counter. Holding hands. Looking way too friendly with each other.

The media was about to lose it’s shit come the morning.

“Ugh,” said Y/N from the passenger seat. “I’m already getting texts and we weren’t even home yet. I guess that kid was a tik toker.”

“It was bound to happen. It’s my fault. I wanted to-”

“It’s no one’s fault,” she said quietly as I drove towards her house. “There’s nothing wrong with us being together. I just wanted to protect you from this crap for longer.”

“I know,” I said, reaching a hand over, stroking her cheek with my thumb. “But it’s something I knew I’d have to deal with eventually and I’ve always been okay with that.”

She was quiet, the ride back carrying an uneasy feeling. When I parked in the driveway she didn’t move, eyes closed. “Dean. You have to decide if-”

I cupped her cheek, her eyes flashing open for a brief second as I planted a harsh kiss on her. Y/N sank into it, moving her lips against mine.

“I picked you a long time ago. We don’t have to change. We can still have our nights together, still be goofy and us. All that changes is now we don’t have to hide it. This house and mine are still our privates spaces. Nothing there changed. Okay? You’re my girl, princess. Get used to it.” She nodded, taking a breath before we both headed inside. 

“Stay tonight,” she said, closing the door after me. “The morning-”

“I know,” I said, locking the door behind her, cupping her face with both hands, big doe eyes looking back. “We either hide or own this. It’s your decision.”

“We’re not hiding,” she said, a tiny smile on her face. “Does this mean I can come to your game on Sunday?”

“Girl, you’re wearing my jersey at the game,” I said, a smirk growing on her face. “What?”

“I have an idea of how we take ownership of all of this.”

“I’m listening,” I said, Y/N taking my hand, leading us towards the stairs, our food in her other hand.

“You’re going to like it…and you’re so coming to my concert tomorrow night with the guys. I have a surprise for you.”

“Looking forward to it, princess.”

________

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

[blackhairedjjun]

flowers of every color | good ending: daffodils

overall summary: when your father is assigned as the new head gardener to the royal family, you are also tasked with helping him maintain the castle's many gardens and extensive floral arrangements. by chance you find yourself crossing paths with the "ice-cold" crown prince, choi yeonjun... who turns out to be not as ice-cold as everyone says he is.

chapter summary: as a condition for your relationship with yeonjun to continue, you are given tests to prove your worthiness. you make it all the way until the last one... and this is that test.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: pet names (darling)

author's note: as i mentioned in the end notes of the previous chapter, this ending takes place after a timeskip of several months!

prev | masterlist bad ending

the lamp you’ve set on the table flickers. you rub your temples, trying to ignore the headache that’s set in from reading and writing for so long. the  nighttime darkness around the rest of the library isn’t helping, and neither is the spring chill that permeates its long hallways. you’re grateful, then, for the lamp providing a tiny bit of light, the new coat that fits you snugly, and your lover seated next to you and practically attached to your side as you write.

yeonjun watches you for a few moments before leaning in closer and brushing aside some of your hair from your face. “y/n darling, shouldn’t you take a break?”

“it’s okay, jjunie. i’m almost done.”

he yawns and blinks at you a few times. you can tell he wants to say something, but has probably forgotten it in his sleepy haze.

“you’re more tired than me, you know. you can go to bed ahead of me if you want.”

“noooo...” he pouts and snuggles into your side even more. “i want to stay here with you... want to read your speech...”

“you’ll hear it tomorrow anyway. get some rest, love.”

“but i want to see it before everyone does...”

his arms circle around your waist and he looks at you with pleading eyes, even as he blinks the sleep away from them. oh, there’s no way you’ll get him to leave you 一 not that you want him to anyway.

“okay, you can stay here.” you push aside his bangs and kiss his forehead.

yeonjun smiles and looks over your shoulder as you continue to write.

for once you’re grateful for your propensity to lose yourself in your work, or else you'd be too anxious to properly focus on the speech you’re writing. it’s easy for you to slip into the right headspace for writing once your attention has been set 一 thinking of the ideas you want to express, the right words to express them with, the proper flow of the speech to tie everything together 一 and you get to it, your hand moving as fast as it can to catch up with your thoughts.

you’re so lost in your writing that it’s easy to forget what is at stake: a chance to prove yourself as a worthy future consort, as a result, be allowed to be with yeonjun. for the past several months you have been taking lessons in diplomacy, history, economics, etiquette, and a dozen other things that the spouse of a monarch ought to know, and along with them you’ve been given several tests to prove what you’ve learned. they were grueling, but these were the conditions that you and yeonjun negotiated for if your relationship is to continue and progress.

the tests have ranged from pen-and-paper exams on the political history of the kingdom to practical demonstrations on how to ride and control a horse, and you’re grateful that you somehow managed to pass them all so far. but you can’t rest easy just yet, not when your final test takes place three days from now: a speech on a personal advocacy or passion that benefits the kingdom. it must not only explain why it is important, but also inspire others to see it the way you do.

even as you write word after word, you’re surprised by how naturally it comes to you 一 you know your passion well, not just now but even long before the tests were assigned to you in the first place. as you finish your speech draft, you look over at yeonjun and give him a knowing smile.

his eyes scan your words on the paper before meeting your gaze, and he too smiles. “it’s so you,” he says. “it’s perfect.”

“is it?”

“definitely.”

you chuckle. “good, it’s supposed to be.”

for a split second your gaze lands on the fresh red rose he has pinned to the lapel of his coat. you remember why you chose your topic for your speech, and why you’re doing all this in the first place.

“just one more and it’ll be all over.” yeonjun leans his head on your shoulder and hums. “they’ll pass you for sure, i just know it, and then...”

he trails off as he buries his face in your neck. you feel his arms around you squeeze you tighter.

you wrap one of your own arms around his waist. “i still can’t believe they allowed this,” you say. “i still can’t believe your mom fought for us.”

“she’s amazing, really. she got all our advisors on her side... she helped me re-negotiate the deal with that queen...”

“and she agreed! tell her thank you, jjunie.”

yeonjun lifts his head up and grins at you. “i’ve told her three times already! she knows how grateful we are!”

“i know! but i truly, sincerely mean it.”

“and she truly, sincerely knows!” he laughs and the sound fills the otherwise quiet library. “and i truly, sincerely know.”

he looks at you with sincerity shining in his eyes. despite the chill of the library you feel warm, and in your gratitude you give him a peck on the lips.

“i’m glad you do,” you say. “i’ll be going through this speech again, do you still want to stay?”

yeonjun leans his head on your shoulder again. “i’ll stay as as long as i need to.”

一

the dining hall only holds a fraction of its capacity, but to you it might as well be a full house. 

you look up from the makeshift podium and stare at the rows of guests seated in front of you: the council of advisors, the royal tutors, a few of the kingdom’s diplomats, even the chamberlain. in the front row you spot soobin nodding at you with a dimpled smile; beomgyu giving you a not-so-discreet thumbs-up; princess ajin (making a diplomatic visit to the kingdom on her own “because i can”) staring with a blank expression; and the king and queen themselves watching you with expectant looks on their faces.

you swallow hard. the hairs on your arms are standing up, and though the spring weather is far from getting warm, you still feel yourself sweating underneath your coat. with all eyes on you, you see the full stakes of today’s test come into full focus. everyone here will be scrutinizing you, analyzing every word that comes out of your mouth, and anything you say deemed unworthy of a consort could spell the end of your relationship with yeonjun.

“you may begin anytime,” the queen says. “as soon as you’re ready.”

you nod, rearrange your papers on the podium, and draw a shaky breath.

your eyes dart about the room, searching for something 一 anything 一 that could anchor you against the tide of nervousness rising in your stomach. at first you stare very hard at a distant flower vase on one of the shelves, thinking about where it came from and how you grew it, until your gaze wavers and you find yourself locking eyes with yeonjun. he’s looking at you again with that expression of pure fondness and love, the same way he looked at you when you danced with him all those months ago, and a wave of warmth cuts through the nervousness in you. 

despite everything, his love for you has never changed 一 and you feel the same way. isn’t that worth fighting for?

you clear your throat and begin.

“your highnesses the king and queen, your majesty the crown prince, the members of the council of advisors, our esteemed guests” 一 your voice trembles but you rein it in一 “i bid you good afternoon, and i thank you for your time and attention.

“i cannot tell you enough how honored and grateful i am to be speaking in front of all of you. most of you know me as but a humble gardener and just one of many people under your highnesses’ employ. for nearly a year now i have tended to the the castle’s vast gardens, prepared herbs and vegetables for the castle’s lavish meals, and brought flowers to enhance the beauty of this very castle. the work is humble, tiring, and often dirty. compared to the work done by the royal family and their council of advisors to keep our kingdom and its people prosperous, it seems trivial or even frivolous.

“however, i ask you today to put aside your preconceptions of me and my line of work.” your voice stops shaking now and seems to fill the whole dining hall. “i am only one of hundreds of gardeners, florists, and horticulturists within this kingdom, and we work for its wealth and prosperity as much as you do. it is our hands that grow the fruits that nourish your bodies, the flowers that lift your spirits, the herbs that cure your ailments, and the trees that protect you from storms. our work may seem trivial, but even trivial things add up and become essential for every citizen’s life and work.”

with the confidence surging in you, you continue speaking on the importance of horticulture to the kingdom. as you speak, you recall not only the books on botany you borrowed from the library, not only the lessons you received on economics and industry, but also your lifetime’s worth of experience. memories flash before you as you speak: planting your first cuttings in the garden behind your house as a child, your hand holding your father’s as you accompany him to a nobleman’s house for the first time to prepare his garden, even the first time you prepared a difficult floral display all by yourself.

you discuss the specialized skills that gardeners and horticulturists possess, contributing to the kingdom’s wealth of knowledge on the natural world. you list out the revenue that their work brings to the economy, from extensive gardens commissioned by wealthy nobles to the batches of homegrown fruits and vegetables exchanged at common markets every day. you speak on the positive impact of their work on the environment and how the plants they bring have protected the soil and the air. lastly, you end with the psychological benefits of it all and how one patch of flowers can bring joy to any citizen’s day.

as you speak, your eyes find yeonjun’s once again. he smiles at you and you know that you two are thinking of the same thing: that it was your work, your flowers, that brought you two together.

you move to your closing words: “if there is one thing i ask you to remember from my words, it is this: see us. the work we do is everywhere 一 in the vegetables in a stew, in a tree offering shade, in flowers of every color and fruits of every size. see us because no one else can care for the earth of this land the way we do. and once you do, you will find not only a class of skilled, diligent, and honorable people, but also a worthy partner in helping this kingdom flourish.”

you catch your breath as you finish. before you can even pray that your words were heeded, applause fills your ears; you look around and see your audience looking up at you with admiration in their eyes. the royal advisors nod in approval, the king and queen are beaming with pride, and even princess ajin has a small smile on her lips. you hear whistling and frenzied clapping from one side and suppress a laugh as soobin and beomgyu are barely able to contain their excitement, practically leaping from their chairs to cheer you on.

your gaze travels to yeonjun and see tears forming in his eyes as he applauds you. your own vision starts to blur and tears of happiness start to fall, and it takes all your willpower to resist the urge to leap off the platform and into his arms.

you did it for his sake, and you succeeded.

—

the hours following your speech are a blur. you remember bits and pieces of it, from beomgyu crushing you in a hug to the pudding you ate at the celebratory banquet. you even recall pieces of conversation about engagement preparations, though you’re not sure if you actually heard them or if you simply imagined them. the only thing your memory truly registers are the emotions: joy, excitement, relief.

the last thing you remember of that day is lying down in yeonjun’s bed in his room as he talks about how proud he is of you. he lies next to you, his smile reaching all the way to his eyes, murmuring words like you were amazing out there and i can’t believe i get to be with you as he pulls you to his chest. you close your eyes and just feel him next to you 一 something that would have been unthinkable just months earlier 一 as your exhaustion finally carries you off to sleep.

the morning after, you wake up in his arms. even before your eyes open fully, the first thing you feel is just how warm he is; your back is pressed to his chest and his arm is draped around your waist. you sense the rhythm of his breathing, steady and comforting, and his breaths tickling the back of your neck. even in sleep he holds you close and you smile to yourself, letting him keep you warm from the spring morning air.

the sun has just risen. its rays shine gold through the window, illuminating the gilt patterns around the prince’s bedroom. the bed is so soft that you could sink through it like water, inhaling the floral scent of the freshly laundered sheets as you go. the room is far more ornate from the gardener's quarters but no less comfortable. it’s a beautiful way to start the day, you think, but none of it is as beautiful as the man laying next to you.

and best of all: now that you’ve passed your training, this is only the first of many beautiful mornings. 

slowly you turn around to face yeonjun, moving carefully as not to wake him. you take a moment to admire how peaceful he looks when he sleeps, how his features relax when the worries of the waking world are far from him. you curl into him even more, burying your face in his neck, and whisper a soft i love you against his skin. 

you feel the grip of his arm around your waist tighten.

“i love you too, darling…”

his voice is still hoarse from sleep, but you don’t care. you lift your head to gaze at him and see his eyes crinkle as he smiles at you. he runs a hand through your hair, coaxing you to lay your head down again, and as you do he leaves a soft kiss on the crown of your head.

“sleep well?” he murmurs.

“yeah…”

“you can sleep more, you know,” he says, wrapping the bed covers more snugly around you. “you don’t have to wake up early for lessons anymore.”

“i know, i just got used to it…”

“then stay with me?”

he pouts at you and you giggle from how adorable he looks. in this moment there is no ice-cold crown prince, only my darling jjun, and you can’t ask for anything more.

you rest your head against his chest. “of course i’ll stay.”

the morning is calm and you let your gaze drift for a few moments. you savor everything: the sunlight, the soft sheets, the way yeonjun kisses the side of your head from time to time as you rest on him. eventually your eyes come to rest on the flower vase you left on the windowsill — you didn’t need to fill them anymore the moment you started training to be consort, but you loved doing it so much that you kept doing it.

this week you left daffodils. the sunlight makes their yellow petals pop out even more.

yeonjun turns his head to follow your gaze. “for new beginnings, right? since they grow at the start of spring.”

“yeah, exactly.”

“wow, i’m really learning about all these flowers from you.”

“at this rate, you might know even more than me.”

“we can switch then,” he teases. “you were so good yesterday that you can run the kingdom, and i’ll use everything you know to be the new gardener.”

“no way!”

you shake your head and laugh but yeonjun simply smiles at you. he pulls you closer to him and you nearly stumble off him; the next thing you know, his face is hovering over yours, his dark hair falling over his eyes.

“but you really were amazing, y/n. do you know just how amazing you are?”

“i am…?”

he leans forward and kisses you. you smile into the kiss, indulging in the warmth of his lips on yours. even after he’s done so dozens of times, you still feel your heart fluttering from the way he kisses you.

“you are,” he says when he pulls away.

he cuddles next to you and you let out a happy sigh. if this is just the beginning, if this is just the first of many mornings of waking up next to him, then you hope that this new chapter of your life will never end.

notes: and that's it for ending number one! if you read this fic until the very end, thank you so much for sticking around. i honestly did not expect to have an audience when i started writing this fic, so i'm really grateful for all the love you've given to it so far <3 and if you're sticking around for the bad ending, see you soon too!

taglist (CLOSED) @seosalad @lilplilplilp @yeonboy @pyuae @hyuneyeon @strawbrinkofdeath @yushiu @mazeinthemoon @banggyu0308 @shytubatu @kyaneosprincess @agustdiv1ne @whippedforbeomgyu @justineasian @skywithf1 @wrongbathroom @choizzn @bangchansbae @huskyhunny @catsyoon @flowerbe0m

[b1acksh33p999]

Soul development + Predictive astrology:

NN rules the themes and direction of your soul’s development and growth. When using predicative astrology to see where you are currently developing- it’s best to track how your natal NN aspects via transit, everyone will experience these aspects at least once in their lifetime; how we respond, and develop during these transits will directly manifest our future lives.

Once a year

Transit Sun conjunct Natal NN: this transit happens approximately once a year, and lasts about one month. Energetic effects of this aspect can prove to be a time where things happen which feel karmic or out of our control. When transit Sun exemplifies the energy of your natal NN, this pushes forth the messages from the subconscious about what exactly needs to change in order to reach inner fulfillment. This much conscious, internalized self awareness can cause transformations to be pushed into your daily life in order to align you with opportunities to learn the lessons meant for you to face at that time.

Before the first Saturn return this can prove to be times of pivotal personality shifts, and building blocks to emotional development, and style of communication. This is also a time where one can feel consequences of isolation if they actively choose to be avoidant of the required behavioral changes necessary to further healthy development.

After your first Saturn return- this will become a period in the year where you may feel universal tests to prove your alignment with the higher self, or even times where you are on the receiving end of gifts, surprises, or karmic situations involving new tests of growth. Annually this will be a checkpoint time frame- checking in that you’ve maintained growth and changes made during first Saturn return, while also open to opportunities for further soul development.

As you approach your second Saturn return this will become a heightened period of possible success and fulfillment- this will display as a major shift in one’s desired to “finish what they started,” or play catch up on any lost desires, dreams, or lost goals; this is why many people will decide to buy into luxury, leave toxic relationships, move locations, change careers, or anything that would otherwise be known as “out of character” for their typical behavior, and choice’s.

Once aligned with the path of the NN and balanced properly- this will become a period of blessings, joy, and fulfillment; although it’s a sad reality that many people struggle with matters of the NN because these matters have been constantly pushed upon the placement holder over their lifetime, when their comfort zone naturally aligns more with the traits, and methods help in the opposing sign.

This is why balance is the most desired skill to hone in order to achieve the humbled, self awareness required to see through the correct perspective that would align you with the easiest route to learn what your soul is meant to develop.

Transit Moon conjunct natal NN: this happens approximately once a month for 3 days- this can be accounted for times in the month you may notice old wounded emotions or situations resurfacing; insecurities, old trauma being triggered through daily encounters, weird dreams, feeling more tired then usual, or dealing with turbulent emotional situations, or circumstances.

As you find the correct balance of your needs, and present circumstances then continually put work towards goals found within the midpoint; this transit will feel more comfortable, and introspective instead of invasive.

Transit Mercury conjunct natal NN: this happens approximately once a year in all 12 signs, (not accounting for Mercury Retrogrades that happen typically 3-4 times a year/ in different signs/ dependent on the year); once it lands into a sign, it will stay in transit for about 2-3 weeks. When Mercury is conjunct natal NN in transit this can result in communication mishaps, issues, or trials; core memories made towards building one’s connection with communication style; balancing between internal thoughts, and vocalized expression.

Those who have a comfortable form of creative expression, or art can facilitate the focal spike during this transition to create legendary pieces, break into an industry, or align their focus back onto their craft in order to feel the muse effect of this aspect. If this transit ever happens to cross harmonious aspects to Moon, Venus, Jupiter, or Neptune this will heighten its emotive effects while pushing the aspect holder to embrace growth.

If Mercury conjunct NN happens with a harmonious aspect to Pluto- transformation will be embraced by the aspect holder, even if they were resistant when the transit began; if there is a hard aspect to Pluto during this transit that may prove to display as personalized avoidance, or resistance to change necessary for further soul development, and growth.

It’s important to note that these aspects all predict the natural energy present in our energetic field, and how that may cause your natural frequency to be affected. This is NOT something that is meant to make the decision of an outcome for you, instead it’s about instructing you on what to expect so you know how to properly perceive these changes and get ahead of any possible mishaps. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not possible, in fact, it’s the things you work hard to achieve and maintain that you will never lose. A secret to the universe is the knowing that what you put your energy into will continue to expand.

Transit Venus conjunct NN: this happens approximately every 1-1.5 years depending on retrogrades every other year. When natal NN is critical to transit Venus- this is a window of time allotted for that person to reevaluate, readdress, and redesign your values, priorities, relationship, and role within your family dynamic to fit the needs of your higher self.

If the person being affected by the transit is stuck in self loathing, pity, martyrdom, reckless behavior; or outdated relationships and priorities this can display in chaotic, highly volatile situations that can cause adverse emotional effects, causing the person to feel set back or excluded from their surroundings.

More on Venus Return’s:

Once you reach your first Venus return after birth, (approximately 8 years after birth), the unique characteristics of the one’s creative endeavors, personality, interests, and perspective on life develop further and are easily distinguished as attributes of an individual.

This is a time when children will find interests, and hobbies that are unlike the direct influence of parents; while marking the beginning of that individuals values, passions, love style, and the first trial with the relationship with self.

Until the first Venus return after one’s first Saturn Return, the personal definitions of love, values, family values, passions continues to develop through the process of trial and error. This can seem turbulent, or unstable; however, it’s just a part of growing up.

In astrology it’s explained that many children are more connected to their south node during childhood, only to connect with their NN as they age; which is almost like the universal grand designs way of allotting time for the joy of exploring the world and yourself during childhood.

Once in a lifetime, or more!

Transit Mars conjunct NN: (takes approximately 2 years to cycle 12 signs)[1-2 months per sign]

-This is a time when energy level, and ambitions increase which causes opportunities for alignment to fall directly into the persons lap. This can display as increased motivation, making big changes or shifts to realign with higher purpose, and normally an increase in wealth, and success. This can also be a time of increased efforts into physical appearance, or transformations; however if the person can manage these changes after the transit ends will determine true growth.

Transit Jupiter conjunct NN: (takes approximately 12 years to cycle)[1 year per sign]

⁃ this is a period of time that will allow your talents to shine while also showing the aspect holder exactly what stands in their way of success. This is a fruitful, and abundant time, yet can be viewed as emotionally and financially turbulent when viewed in hindsight.

⁃ What is shown now is what strengths you have that others desire; at the same time that you are shown the worst in human connection in order to grow thicker skin so they will be able to thrive in any environment going forward.

⁃ The most important lesson to take from this transit is to connect with the areas, and skills that make you special, while understanding your baseline priority of protecting your space, and energy from those who only want to leech from you.

Transit Saturn conjunct NN: (take’s approximately 30 years to cycle)[2.5 per sign]

Transit Chiron conjunct NN: (50 years approximately to cycle) [1.5-8 years] <— retrogrades can account for extreme differences in Chiron cycles.

Only some will have these/advanced development

Transit Uranus conjunct NN: (takes approximately 84 years to cycle)[7 years per sign]

Transit Neptune conjunct NN: (approximately 165 years to cycle)[14 years per sign]

Transit Pluto conjunct NN: (approximately 248 years to cycle) [14-30 years/per sign]

More on this to come! To be continued…

[theeternalwombtarot]

What lessons are you learning in love right now

message: I’m working through my drafts just as I said I would, the time for this reading has come because I feel called to do it and so I will. Things have been tiring and I am in the process of releasing many things as I’m being guided to do during this eclipse taking place at this time. I’m mourning many losses, I’m holding onto my hope, holding onto my strength, I’m resting, I’m healing, I’m transforming. I’m taking with me not pain but lessons. I’m spinning gold out of what I’ve been given. To love is such a wonderful blessing and beautiful gift, even when loss is inevitable or when it is given to you at the very end every time. So we’re going to find out what lessons you’re learning in love today collective. Thank you for co creating this reading with me, for spending time with me, for enjoying my content, and for growing and transforming with me. You are so loved. <3

***

i.

Pile one, a good amount of your lessons in love in general and not just at this current moment could be centered around your self-worth and learning it. You could’ve been burned a lot by past lovers or have had some trivial and complex relationships that issues may have lied in your ability to understand your worth, ask for more, and accept more. This hasn’t changed. Your current lessons that you’re learning in love still lie in you having an awakening regarding your self-worth. Some of you are divine beings and are meant to do incredible things and take on leadership roles in life and part of this is going to require you to step into your power and really be a big influence and a big energy in everything you do. Many of you already take on a lot of leadership roles and are mentors and highly valued individuals in your lives but there’s more for you to unlock here.

This past relationship you’ve just gotten out of could’ve flipped yet another switch in you. I’m seeing a huge panel here with a lot of red buttons and/or switches. Everytime you come out of a relationship that was meant to shake you or push you into a different energy and you overcome another button is pushed and another switch is flipped. The number 94 could be significant to you in some way shape or form as it represents progress and spiritual growth. “It encourages you to pursue your goals even if they seem difficult or impossible. Your angels will work along side you as long as you stay committed and focused on reaching success. With determination, anything is possible!” There’s a message here about you not settling for less I’m hearing or continuing to ask for more and raise your price, and add tax.

I’m hearing someone needs to detox the body here as well. You can be sick from something you ate, I feel stomach pain and discomfort in the body, you could have just finished a period if you’re a woman and may be in need of a acv detox bath, you may be feeling thirsty and dehydrated. You’re undergoing transformation and may be tired and feel as though you’re undergoing some sort of “recovery”. Butterflies and their transformation from a caterpillar into their final form could be significant. The divine feminine, the divine mother, the womb, all significant symbolism and imagery.

Someone is stepping further into their divinity with a catalyst in love they’ve just experienced recently as well. I hear spirit saying you’re very close or you’re red hot. The lesson you’re learning right now is regarding serving yourself Justice however difficult of a task it may prove to be. Spirit is putting emphasis on the idea that you’re the creator of your own reality and the way you choose to live your life, who you choose to spend time with you, to have access to your vessel, to your temple, to your heart, and to your mind all falls into your hands here. For many of you in this collective, feminine deities and strong matriarchal women in your blood line stand firmly behind you.

The lessons you’re learning in love also pertains to you overcoming a fear of change and being able to be more fluid in your life and in love here. You could have a hard time letting things go, heavily sentimental in matters of the heart or someone very emotionally passionate and driven. It makes it difficult for you to let go of heartbreak and let go of love when it’s time has passed or far gone. Spirit wants you to learn the art of release, wants you to learn the art of transformation when it’s time to undergo change. Spirit is teaching you to see accurately how much power you hold in your relationships and in your connections. An opportunity to enjoy your energy, an opportunity to sit with you, an opportunity to simply be in your presence even platonically is a divine one, is a blessed one. Spirit says “see this and hear this now.” There will be no contradictions, no arguments, and no compromising on this whatsoever. Whomever comes towards you should be prepared to move mountains and come ready or not at all.

Spirit is teaching you that with one drop of disharmony or an ounce of energy that isn’t serving you or doing right by you that there is no harm in being alone or working alone. So much of your power is heightened in your solitude they say, “so why do you color yourself afraid?” Spirit wants you to know that happiness and fulfillment are always written in the stars for you alone or in a connection with someone whom you love. Your lesson is that it is okay to walk away when you aren’t being served Justice, you will serve yourself Justice.

***

ii.

The lessons you’re learning in love right now pertain to aspects of your shadow that have been keeping you stagnant for a long time now. Negative thoughts, self-imposed restrictions like behaviors and mindsets that keep you from receiving things you truly deserve, self-imprisonment, and even potentially a victim mentality where you may choose to ignore the truth when met with conflict and make yourself seem like the person in relationships whose being mistreated or burdened when in reality you’ve fallen short or have villainized your partner to make yourself feel safer. I’m hearing when criticized or when something is brought to your attention you may tend to fall into a habit of defending yourself, defending your behaviors, and even using your knowledge or ability to communicate to try and push others into thinking that they were wrong or that they’ve wronged you so you don’t have to feel vulnerable or take true accountability for your actions.

If this is true for you I do see a large amount of this behavior not being behavior that’s meant to be malicious or bring harm to others but that’s been adopted out of trauma and a desire to be seen and heard or even validated and enabled as much as possible because this may have been something you went long periods without receiving within your life whether it came from a healthy or negative place here. I’m seeing someone being yelled at regardless of their making positive decisions, someone who didn’t get positive feedback and affirmation when they did do good things in their romantic relationships, in their platonic relationships, and with their relationships from a familial standpoint especially as a child.

There are lessons in the idea of you deserving more self-care or deserving more self-respect from your self here, giving yourself the freedom to have good things, giving yourself the freedom to serve yourself Justice so that other people can serve you, Justice, giving yourself the freedom to relax into the energy of receiving kindness and genuine love and respect from people who fully intend to give it to you and serve you compensation for heartbreak and loss. But there are also lessons here and understanding the fundamental bricks that makeup who you’ve become and how that seeps into your relationships as an individual, as someone with full autonomy and the ability to make their own decisions and show up as who they truly desire to be in love.

There’s a lot here, a message about stepping into your power and going against the status quo or challenging the status quo and blowing to smithereens preconceived ideas of who you should be and what you should accept whether these ideas were built around you or built by you. Spirit is also trying to teach you that there is more to love and connection than what the human world has taught you. There’s a message here about you coming to terms with the idea that love and true soul-deep connection goes against all logical ideas of what is possible here. You may be somewhat of a skeptic in the sense that you feel the extent of what we speak on (in regards to high-level soul connections and soul ties and soul connections in general) and how much power we give such things does not exist the way they are portrayed to exist but your resistance to these ideas highlights fear within self of true and deep attachment that cannot be destroyed or denied here.

There is knowledge and an aspect of yourself and your spirit that you’ve not tapped into or are covering your ears and eyes to out of fear. You are keeping yourself small in all aspects out of fear and choosing to create delays, tell yourself lies, and hide within your shadow and within the ego. Your recent failures in love and experiences in love teach you things regarding the need to let go and surrender to the divine plan and surrender to the change and transformation you must undergo to step into your power although it is scary and casts light on aspects of you who’d rather sit in the dark and hide away.

There are breakthroughs and mental clarity being birthed and given to you through love and heartbreak and the ups and downs and fluidity of human connection here. There’s something significant here about heart break and your past relationships or misaligned relationships here. You could be experiencing heartbreak or these back-to-back heart chakra awakenings that were sent to you to awaken you to your unhappiness in some of your relationships as well as the reason they may not have worked out because of aspects of your shadow here. You could’ve spent a lot of time in unhappy relationships in your past that you romanticized or glorified due to trauma that could’ve brought some semblance of heartbreak to you.

There’s also another connection I see here with a high priestess or someone who holds great divinity who could’ve given you true heart break or showed you what it means to lose someone whom you shared a true love with or a divine connection with here that’s highlighting and emphasizing this nine of cups in reverse, all this unhappiness and all of these ego. Ego death is highly significant for this pile. When this person leaves they trigger tower moments, where this person goes, rebirth occurs whether they mean to or not. They’re heavily supported and looked after by important deities. This person has an older soul and has walked through many lives being love, war, desire, and temptation, and all things that sit within the human shadow and all of its complexity. Your lesson lies in your shadow, your authenticity, and your ego. It’s time to undergo immense change even if it is difficult, painful, or scary.

***

iii.

Right now spirit may be potentially highlighting some co-dependent habits and behaviors in love for you pile three. There’s also a potential for some lessons regarding you honoring your feelings and your heart here. You may be someone who is prone to staying in situations that aren’t serving them and will not serve them out of codependency. True love could’ve been presented to you or there is someone that you loved here who was shown to you that you could’ve parted from. The love you had for this person represented love that you could’ve had for yourself but you ran from this person out of fear and made the decision to fall into karmic cycles or continue to invest your energy into karmic cycles and your window to make a different choice was closed on you here.

Your lessons in love, in general, as well as of late lie in your self respect and the need to reinvent who you are and who you choose to be. Something is incredibly significant about your choices here. You may be choosing to mimic certain examples you’ve seen in your life pertaining to who to be, or what love looks like instead of choosing to go in the opposite direction and choose differently to bring yourself true fulfillment. Spirit asks when you’re going to make choices that reflect back to you self love and a desire to be free. The words unfair are coming out here. I’m hearing someone complaining or validating that their life and their experiences are harsh and unfair but not taking the initiative to make better choices.

There’s a masculine energy here or a father that may play a huge role in your decisions and the way you view yourself, view relationships and navigate issues in your life here. If this is not the case there is still issues and misalignment regarding the making of decisions and creating healthy and aligned foundations for yourself in order to flourish. Spirit is saying that your experience in love or what you’re learning in love is necessary in order to push you to step into your power and find it within yourself to full your own cup and fulfill your souls purpose. You could be experiencing a large amount of issues within your current relationship or within your relationships in general both platonic and romantic that are contributing to an ego death or heart chakra awakening so that you can turn inwards and see yourself and see your surroundings for what they are and understand that you’re settling.

Spirit is shining light on your unhappiness and dissatisfaction with a lot of things within your life right now including relationships and spirit wants to know what you’re going to do about it?? Your lesson in love lies in how long you’re going to sell yourself short, settle for less than you deserve, and continue to remain stagnant for no reason other than to push against change and push against the current. Your soul family is not within the circle of people or the lovers that you invest your energy into, those people aren’t meant for you, those people won’t fill your cup whilst you attempt to fill theirs, those people won’t bend over backwards for you the way you bend over backwards for them. Those people don’t love you. Your lesson lies in how long you’re going to hide behind your shadow and ignore the call forward to undergo much needed transformation and healing. When are you going to make the right choices?

[blingblong55]

Sunshine- 141

This is based on a request:

Fluff, F!reader, Platonic! relationship, reader who had Tourettes.

You are literally the sunshine of Task Force 141. It was difficult to join the military and even more difficult to be where you are based on your condition. Having Tourettes is something that you still struggle to bury deep. But after being assigned to Price, more like he picked you up one day and you became his child, anyways he had become your protector. If a new recruit would ask why the sergeant was allowed to say random shit and do random stuff out of nowhere Price would make them run a lap around base.

You whistled, catching the attention of the recruits, "two birds in a pod!" you exclaim, they giggle like little kids. You ashamed because you couldn't control this one look down. Price signals for Ghost to take you elsewhere while he gives them a lesson. "So have you seen ghost lately?"

"no..." you whistle and snap your fingers, "two birds in a pod!"

"C'mere kid." he joyfully looks down at you as his arm rests around your shoulder. You smile up at him. In his many years of service not once had he met another person who can just make him laugh. You, after the first time Price made ghost run around base for a while, assured him that he and a few others were allowed to laugh at your little ticks. He found it adorable, how he could say something stupid and you'd repeat it over and over. He loved how if he felt like being a prick to Soap was needed, then you should be around to remember his words, you of course would be excused for your vulgar language, he wouldn't, but its worth the punishment.

"Soap the proper wanker, wanking along base." you would say at times when you felt awkward in a room. Poor Soap would just blush and look down at the ground, the others would remember your, well Ghosts wise words and would repeat to him over comms.

During mission you and Gaz were assigned as a team. This was because price was tired of seeing how much of a bad influence Ghost could be on your while you two were paired up. Before and after a mission, Ghost would talk to price, asked him, no, begged him to please return you to him. "No, you are already on probation for what you taught her last mission, I cant afford another long meeting with the other officers. "Soap the proper wanker, wanking along base" you voice echoed on the hall, it caused Ghost to laugh so hard, he had tears coming out of his eyes. Price was sure you and him were the reason for his next aneurysm.

"No R/n, it's tippy toppy I wanna see poppy" Gaz was forced to teach you a few stuff that could stick instead of the mean and slander against soap. You soon adapted this, changing a few things.

During a serious mission, Price was up front, revising a plan and adjusting a few things. All of the sudden you got anxious, "tippy tappy I wanna see Gaz as a toppy." You snapped your fingers. Gaz soon was on probation for it. "Gaz!" Price scolded.

Soap literally fell to the floor every time he heard it, Ghost literally patted your back and as he too started to reach the floor, he said "please let her continue with her nonsense." He was referring to price having you on watch duty instead of the field, where at least you could stay quiet and learn less 'funny' stuff from the men.

Lately as you watched a crime show, you adapted "wheels up in 30" and through out days you repeated, with the same monotone voice as the character. Price got you in trouble this time, because many soldiers and newbies waited for hours by the heli pad, all thinking they were going on an unknown mission. You cleaned the toilets, only for like 2 minutes. Because how could he ever punish you.

This still goes on, it has been years since you and the team started working together. And as a usual thing for you, you fucked up one time. All thanks to Ghost(he encouraged you to watch a special), who made bets with Gaz on what you'll say when you all meet Soaps newborn.

Unfortunate for him, his wife and you, you just recently watched a John Mulaney special on the telly. As you all nervously walled up to your comrades home, you were nervous. Your ticks were getting the best of you. Price and Ghost put their hands on your back, trying to just calm your anxiety out.

You met the beautiful baby boy. "Look lass, this is my son!" he brought his son to you.

"Awe he's" you softly said, "👹 UGLY👹 " you accidentally said, Soap literally just stared at you without saying a word. "thats his doing." his wife said, laughing at your funny reaction. Ghost and Gaz had to excuse themselves to a different room. Although they thought they were saving themselves from any unwanted frowns, their deep and loud laughter gave them up. When they came back into the room, Price smacked the back of their head. "sorry sir." they both said.

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

A/N: hi, so I by some fucked up mystery deleted the original one, so here's this one that I so did not write in a rush. XOXO bitches

to 🐣 , thanks for this request. Also im not really educated (much at least) in this disorder so if you think this was offense or not accurate, please do let me know

REQUEST ARE OPEN!!

[miaroseindreamland]

Love you

[Lee Know reaction]

Angst, kinda lovely 😍

You were in the kitchen, finishing up after dinner, still reeling from a heated argument with your fiancé. As the anger subsided, a wave of sadness washed over you. This was the person you were planning to spend your life with, yet lately, it felt like every little disagreement escalated into a major fight.

You learned a hard lesson: never to say hurtful things out of anger, especially to someone you love. Despite his tough exterior, your fiancé couldn't hide the hurt in his eyes. Instead of calmly expressed his pain, he lashed out by suggesting that maybe both of you had made mistakes in choosing each other.

With a heavy heart, he removed his ring and left you speechless, retreating to the bedroom. Alone in the kitchen, you ate your meal in silence, tears streaming down your face as you contemplated the possibility of losing him.

Summoning courage, you quietly entered the bedroom to find him lying, seemingly asleep, with your three cats at the foot of the bed. Slipping into his embrace, you felt his frustration in his deep breaths. His eyes open and you could see anger.

"I'm sorry," you whispered before he could push you away, your hand gently caressing his face. "Minho, I love you. Please."

He gave a wry smile, gripping your wrist firmly. "It doesn't seem like it."

"But I do... please forgive me," you pleaded, leaning in for a kiss, but he turned away.

"Maybe you were right. Maybe we both made the wrong choice," he said, causing you to gasp in disbelief.

"No, don't say that. I'm sorry, baby... I was just so tired of all the fighting," you admitted, tears welling up again.

His anger softened as he saw you cry. Tenderly, he wiped away your tears, his hand moving from your face to your waist, pulling you closer.

"I'm sorry. I hate that we fight so much," you confessed, seeking solace in his embrace.

"Kitty, you need to understand that disagreements are normal in any relationship. It doesn't mean we stop loving each other," he reassured, his gaze searching for your agreement. You nodded in response.

"We may fight, but we also make up," he continued, his voice gentle. "And when I took off my ring, I was thinking well. I'm sorry for that."

Feeling a sense of relief, you buried your face in his neck, his arms enveloping you as you both found comfort in each other's embrace.

"I love you y/n." He assured you as you returned the same words.

[himeryu]

– Love Rivalry: 46. stay gold

kaveh x reader

"So, that's the story."

Kaveh sits there in shock, eyes wide. Maybe you shouldn't have told him. Your past with Alhaitham is heavy; it is not something to take lightly. If one word could describe your past with the man, it would be regret. You regret looking for him; you regret hoping; you regret expecting. 

Alhaitham was a cruel lesson to learn. It took you a long time to return to normal; however, you were far from "normal." Your wounded heart tried its best to bandage itself, but the wound inflicted on them was too much to bear. If it wasn't for your friends, you wouldn't have recovered. 

"I'm sorry," you bitterly chuckle, avoiding his gaze. "It's quite heavy, right?" 

Fear takes over your body. What if Kaveh leaves you because of your past? Would he leave you like how Alhaitham did that day? 

"Why are you apologizing?" Kaveh says softly, the gentle tone of his voice stuns you slightly. "I should be thanking you for opening up to me."

You look at him; his gentle ruby eyes make your heart skip a beat, washing away all your worries. Kaveh, the man who entered your life out of nowhere. Meeting him wasn't part of your goals, but you're glad you did. Who knew you'd be this fond of the blonde man? 

You giggle as Kaveh looks at you intimately, "You're right." 

Suddenly, Kaveh places his hand on top of yours. You blush. "What are you doing?" You ask in a shakey voice, but there was no response. Kaveh clumsily fiddles his fingers with yours, his face flushed in a deep shade of red akin to his eyes. "My dad used to do this to make me feel better." 

You listen intently, "My emotions usually get the best of me, making me immature at times. But every time my dad did this, I'd calm down." He says with a bittersweet smile as he recalls his childhood. You stare at Kaveh in worry. 'He must've had a rough childhood,' you think; However, you stay silent, not uttering a word.

"I've never done this to someone else, so please tell me when you're uncomfortable." Kaveh bashfully smiles. Butterflies flutter your stomach at the physical touch, almost like you're a teenager again. It's childish, feeling flustered over hand-holding. But, isn't it cute?

"It's fine," You whisper shyly, "I don't mind."

"You know," His grip on your hand lightly tightens, "I'm very emotional. Like, I cry a lot. Every time I get too mad, I cry; Every time I get too happy, I cry. I might become a burden to you."

He inhales deeply, preparing his words as you wait. "Despite that..." He continues, "I want to be by your side." 

Your mouth is slightly agape, speechless by his words. "Am I allowed to?" Kaveh meekly asks; his face goes warm from embarrassment, shading itself in light pink.

Your face-- too-- flushes. Bystanders look at your table with pleased expressions as they repeatedly think of youthful love. However, you and Kaveh pay no mind as if you two are the only ones in the restaurant. Your heart beats quickly and loudly that you swear the waiter who just passed by most likely heard it.

Ah, since when was the last time someone other than your friends made you this happy?

"Of course," You agree. Kaveh's eyes sparkles like gold by your words.

Then, Kaveh smiles once again. But this time, it's different. His smile radiantly beams his surroundings, making the lights of the restaurant pale in contrast to his smile. His smile is sweet like candy, something you will never get tired of. 

How pretty. 

It's nearing 2 AM, and you and Kaveh are just returning home. It was fun, the date. At first, you thought it was just a whim, something small. You never expected your relationship with Kaveh to grow oh so quickly. Though your time spent with Kaveh is short, you treasure those moments with him.

From this day onward, you're determined to know more about Kaveh. Meeting him was like a siren bewitching you with its voice, making you want more. Or a succubus seducing you with its charisma, reducing you into their slave. Some wild metaphors, but you can't deny it.

Kaveh charmed you.

Sure, you're a bit scared, but Kaveh means no harm. You trust him, but your trust in him is still small; it has yet to reach unconditional trust. You can't help it. As much as your relationship with the man is fast-paced, you wish to take your time.

Finally, you arrive at his apartment complex. You shift to your side to see Kaveh sleeping. The dim light from outside lightly kisses his face, giving it a soft shine. You notice the eyebags under his blonde eyelashes-- most likely caused by his sleepless nights as an architecture student.'

A small smile finds itself on your face as you admire Kaveh. You can trust him. It would be different compared to him.

Because Kaveh is different.

You bring your hand on his arm, slowly shaking him to wake him up. Kaveh grunts, shaking his head. You chuckle, "Kaveh, we're here."

"Mhmm," He frowns, turning to look the other way. You remove your grip on his arm. "Are you okay?" You tenderly say.

Kaveh nods. Though, his eyes are still shut.

"Kaveh, open your eyes."

"Don't wanna," he murmurs.

You sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you think of a solution to wake this sleepy man. Then, a thought crossed your mind making you smirk mischievously. You carry your torso closer to the passenger seat. You smirk-- not like he can see it.

"What? Do you need a kiss to wake up?" You whisper gingerly.

Kaveh's body tenses. Blood rushes through his cheeks, making them shade a light pink. However, he refuses to open his eyes.

You grin, "How cute."

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SYNOPSIS You’ve been rejected by your academic rival, alhaitham, without even confessing or having feelings for him. You decided to go to a party to fix your damaged ego, so why are you suddenly making out with his roommate?

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