#time to get to it
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i survived writing my undergraduate honors thesis. i can write this ten page report on things that are actually very interesting to me.
#affirmations#chloe’s pile of phd journey notes#guys fine grained complexity theory?#it’s fine#like fiiiiiiine fine#doing things related to derandomization specifically but#it’s led to me finding what I actually wanna research#(left my advisor lol more on that later)#so yeah!#time to GET TO IT
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Happy 1.0 release day!!!! 🥳🥳🥳
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the amount of clips i recorded to turn into gifs from just yesterday and today is absolutely wild
#time to get to it#i do have to work soon but i'm also waiting for an issue to be fixed so i can do part of my job#and the thing i have to do is due tomorrow but the issue still isn't resolved. hopefully it will be soon :(#non sims
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i feel strongly about this
#every time i turn on the captions on a big famous youtubers vid and it just uses autogenerated im like grrrrr#but every time i turn on captions on a one person project 4 hr video essay and theyre manually written an angel gets its wings#im not deaf or HoH either. i just fucking lvoe captions#text#1k#2k#uh oh people rightfully so said it was ironic i didnt put alt text on this. there is alt text now!#5k#10k#20k#30k#40k#50k
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the queen of the disco or whatever
#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#scary-oke#zombie#zombie stan#idk if that's a tag whatever#anyway i was on the fence on posting this bc i think i might hate it but i put a good deal of time into it so you get it anyway SHUT UP!!!!!#k bye#disappearing back into my cave#mods art#mods draws#my art
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god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait
#executive dysfunction#shitpost#every day I get stuck in waiting mode for SO LONG and SO MANY TIMES#that one time I tried adhd meds it fixed it but then I. was like no I am going to be scared and not continue taking it <3#and also. I simply did not like the psychologist and did not want to have to go back#so. rawdogging the world <3#man if I could start a task right now...then you'd see...then you'd all see....
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Since you guys liked Marcille as Kermit that much, it seems fitting to thank you for my 12k milestone with MORE Kercille. And this time, Miss Falin is also here.
Thank you so much again everybody! MWAH 💗
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#marcille donato#falin touden#kermit the frog#did you know that pigs will sometimes eat rocks?#and since we are about trivia. This is my second time reaching over to 12k followers. You see#after the great purge I lost a bunch and went back to 11k for a loooong time#who would have thought a shitpost about frogs would get you back into my home#welcome back
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she checks the floor vents every day to see if the furnace is on yet and today was the day :)
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was thinking about that one blind professor post earlier today and how well it applied to the aptly named Team Dark
(really 'Team Dark' just sounds a lot cooler than 'Team Saves-On-Electricity')
#just another tally added to the board of reasons it's hard to imagine any of these guys ever entertaining guests 👍#the trickiest part of this gag was trying to think of who would ever visit these guys lmao#not the most social of butterflies this group#sth#rouge the bat#amy rose#shadow the hedgehog#e123 omega#team dark#comic#my art#doodles#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#is that really the general tag that gets used? which one of these 3 is the main one here a;sldkjf#anyways first time drawing amy!#I like her funny little shark fin from her classic design
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compilation of this type of post
edit: idk how much this is gonna do but since making this post i got covid and need some help, please consider it
#juno.txt#'k smog and batboy caught flipping a grunt' and 'is chep a brambles company' get me so bad every fucking time#actually preemptively putting this in my fav tag just cuz they make me laugh so much#fav
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Dumb thing that would not leave my brain
#jayvik#arcane#viktor#jayce talis#suggestive#bluesky enjoyed this one way more than i thought so i figured id toss it here too#ive gotten such sweet nice comments on my last triptych drawings#fellow jayviks you are so niceys#stop enabling me!!!! ill want to draw more!!!!#i STILL cant get jayce's face right. i feel like flynn rider#i hate hate hate drawing anything inorganic especially in perspective#if i have to draw a straight line or an ellipse its game over#so it truly speaks to my love for The Character that ive willingly drawn viktor's brace several times lol
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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hey! there's zero esims left for the connecting gaza campaign as of today. i remember you promoting them earlier. could you give them a much needed boost?
oh dang! unfamiliar with that particular campaign, as I always donate via crips for e-sims because it's super easy to do, but regardless let's go people!
#signal boost#esims for gaza#crips for esims#monday is 'whatever i got that i can give' day anyway so good timing#free palestine#only thing to watch out is how much of a tip you're giving on this site bc it defaults to. super high? which. I get but c'mon#I'm here to give the money to THEM not the host site ok
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#chappell roan: 2, paparazzi: 0
#*gifs#1k#chappell roan#chappellroanedit#chappellsource#userchappell#tusermiles#ughmerlin#userbru#tuserdee#alielook#userleah#dailywomen#femaledaily#ladiesblr#dailymusicqueens#dailymusicians#femalepopculture#wonderfulwomendaily#honestly just LOVE to see a gal standing up for herself it's about time paps get called out on how they behave so they STOP DOING IT
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