#time for gir to lay down his game

[spceboyz]

cont. from ( x )

꩜ .ᐟ — GIR, without fail, was always inevitably at every local party and social gathering-- this holiday party included. the malfunctioning unit was surprisingly popular amongst the communities young adults, adorning him with quite the thriving social life. was he conscious of any of this? no, not really. he couldn't even tell you the names of any of these people, he was just there for a good time. and free pizza.

the robot-dog stared questioningly up at the mistletoe hanging in the doorway, tilting his head curiously as he tried to put his little dysfunctional brain-chip to the test by thinking up ways to get up there and eat it, before being approached by a tall, lanky woman in large platform heels. he turned to face her-- uncharacteristically silent as he tilted his head the other way, but chirped happily as he received the pat. before he could speak the woman was leaning down and planting a warm kiss atop his forehead, filling the unit with a sensation he had no name for.

" You a pretty lady, lady! " the lime-green robot dog chirped happily, stretching out his nubby-little arms by his sides. " What-that green thing up there? I wanna eat it. " GIR remarked rather casually, pointing up towards the mistletoe with his aforementioned arms-of-nub.

[itstheghostofmypast]

Snookums

Idol Choi San x (f)Reader

Summary: Pink really was his colour, and she was nothing more than his number-one supporter and number-one tormentor.

Genre: Fluff (its just a lot of floof)

Word Count: 1.1K

Est. Read Time: 5 min

Warnings: None

Rating: PG-13

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @san-network @illusionnet

Banner: @cafekitsune

A/N: Well, back to revising for the last exam (i swear I'm at my limit)

"What did you just call me?" he paused mid-game, "No- not you- guys wait up, gimme a second, I have to deal with this." with that he muted himself, before turning to what he had to 'deal with', and what he had to deal with was laying on her side, curled up, facing the wall, her phone in hand as she mindlessly scrolled down, one reel after another, after she had mumbled the most grotesque thing known to man, oh so casually, leaving him in utter shock.

"Hello- I'm talking to you," he called out, reaching for the rolled-up sock on the floor, waiting for her response, once he got none, he decided to throw it at her, snorting when it landed right between her face and her phone. Now, all he had to do was wait for her to realise-

"EW! WHAT THE HELL!" her screech caused him to smirk, especially when she sat up to face him, tossing the sock back at him which he dodged with ease, before hopping off his chair and onto the bed, which led her to whine and try to escape, only to have him grab her by the waist and pull her onto his lap, her back pressed flushed against his chest as he placed his chin on her shoulder.

"Now, what did you call me?"

"Nothing~" with a whine she tried to pull away, only for him to pull her closer, squeezing her until she was wheezing out a laugh. His lips brushed against her pulse, trailing up to her jaw until he asked again, "What did you call me?"

"Nothing!" she laughed, trying to wiggle out of his grip, which was pointless, man all that protein was really doing it's stuff huh? Thankfully, she was a smart girl, which meant she could find her way out. Reaching for the pillow beside them, her fingers gripped the edge of the cotton as she hummed, "I called you...." she began, grip tightening on the pillow, "My itty-bitty, itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, hunky-spunky, floofy, cutie-patootie, SNOOKUMS!"

WHACK

As soon as the pillow squared in on his face his grip loosened on her, she made a run for it, leaving the pillow, tumbling out of his lap as she crawled to the other side of the bed, trying to make her escape, only to feel the beast grip her by the ankle, a shriek breaking past her lips as she looked back to meet the glare of a man ready to fight- "Sannie~I'm just a gir-umf"

"No, you're a menacing, little minx!" he huffed, making sure to not put all of his body weight on her, just enough to pin her down under him, smirking when he noticed her gripping onto the edge of the bed, "Did you call me that because I wanted to play a round first?" he asked, only to receive a muffled, "I can't breathe you, big baby."

Rolling off her he sighed, chuckling when she followed, only to slap her hand on his tummy, causing him to wince, whining as he rubbed the spot, face turned to her, while hers was turned to him, both on their backs, laying on the bed, staring at each other.

"What?" she snapped, though her hand was now laced with his, earning a look from her lover causing her to scoff, "It's a cute nickname." Moving closer to him, she pressed onto his side, turning onto hers, so she could hook her leg with his, an arm wrapped around his torso (nah, she tried to, so she was just gripping onto his sweatshirt), chin on his shoulder, so close that their tip of her nose bumped against his, her breath fanning across his face, tickling his skin, "I just think my Sannie-wannie, is an itty-bitty, itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, hunky-spunky, floofy, cutie-patootie-"

"Snookums...I know...and as much as I love you- what the f*ck is up with that, that's not a name, it's a whole family tree," he mumbled, tilting his head so his forehead bumped against hers, the thump, causing her to wince, pouting in return.

"I saw your pictures from your Vogue photoshoot in pink~ It suits you," she giggled, her face flushing at the way he raised a brow at her, his signature cocky smirk gracing his lips, causing her to bury her face in his shoulder, "But then I saw your pictures in a tiara~ my boyfriend is such a babygirl~"

"I am not a- the vogue one- I- stop~" he whined, turning on his side to hug her, pulling her closer as he rested his chin on top of her head, squeezing her every time he heard her giggle, "Stop that~ I'm big and strong." His whining only led her to cackle, pulling back a bit as she looked up at him, smiling at the way he had been glaring down at her, visibly irritated by her annoying antics, though she also noted the pink dusted across his cheeks, and how his ears were a cute hue of red- that's what he gets for playing stupid games instead of paying attention to her.

"You just did this so I'd pay attention to you huh?"

"Is it a crime to ask my boyfriend for love~"

"No, no it is not-"

The door slammed open causing her to yelp, and press herself against him, burying her face in his neck, as he tilted his head upwards to look at- oh shit.

Yunho standing there in all his glory, seething, no, fuming, marching to pounce on the fool who left him hanging mid-game, but his steps faltered when he saw another figure next to the idiot, a heavy sigh leaving his lips as he ran a hand over his face.

"Next time, just don't play if you have someone over." He mumbled, frowning at him, only to give her a smile when his eyes met hers, earning a sweet, "Hi Yuyu."

"Hey...sorry for barging in. Enjoy your evening." He concluded as he walked out the door, only to pause when she called him out again, having him turn in the doorway to face her as she sat up enthusiastically, " You wanna know what Sannie is?!"

Confused the taller male raised a brow, nodding in return, not noticing the way the other man had begun to panic, especially when she took a deep breath and began narrating, "Sannie is an itty-bitty, itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, hunky-spunky, floofy-"

Yunho only nodded, confused at first, but as soon as her words were cut off a Cheshire-like grin stretched across his face as he smiled at the panicking feline-looking man, nodding again as he slowly closed the door with a soft click. Clasping his hand on her mouth, he pulled her into his chest, facing Yunho with eyes filled with nervousness watching him leave, no, this was not going to end well for him, he was in love with the spawn of Satan.

"I love you Sannie~" she giggled against his palm, though all he could do was stare at her helplessly, so in love, yet in so much pain- oh that's what he gets for ignoring his little minx.

Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @spooo00oky @mlysalt @the-kpop-simp

[xxhatchetxx]

For your space husbands au, what is Zim up to during the divorce? Brooding and edgy era? Crashing back to earth to eat ice cream and drunkenly play games with Gaz?

!!!!! WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quite a few years prior they bought a bigger ship to live in together. They didn't want to settle on a planet and they needed more space than the voot could offer.

Fast forward to the break up, Dib gets the voot out of storage and takes off in a big dramatic huff leaving Zim alone on the ship. Of course Zim being the stubborn bug he is, doesnt go after Dib. He tells Gir that he 'expects the Dib to be back any moment'. To come crawling back to him snivelling and crying begging for his forgivenes.

But of course....that doesnt happen.....Dib doesnt come back. But Zim waits. He waits and waits and waits because hes so damn sure he'll be back. It takes a while but it eventually sets in and Zim realizes hes been left behind. He completely shuts down and just wallows in his grief for a very long time. he spends his time between watching old security footage of the 2 of them and just laying down on whatever surface hes closest to for a nap. He's too prideful to admit that he was wrong so he stays alone on the ship basically the entire time

Here is a sketch dump I made a lil while ago where the last 3 images are of sad sad sad lil depressed Zim during the divorce era!!

[buzzdixonwriter]

Daddy's Little Friend In The Basement Pt. 2 [FICTOID]

At that moment I had this thought:  Daddy’s an inventor!  He’s making a special doll for me as a surprise! 

“Can I call you Dolly?”

She laughed pleasantly.  “You certainly may.  How may I please you?”

“Do you live down here?”

“All the time.  What would you like to do?”

“Don’t you ever go out?”

“This is where I belong.  How may I please you?”

“Can you go upstairs?”

“No.  This is where I belong.  What would you like to do?”

“Don’t you ever go to the bathroom?”

“No.  How may I please you?”

I looked around her sparse room.  An unmade bed that didn’t appear to sleep in it, but still seemed used and soiled from sweat.  A small, cheap nightstand sat to one side; on top of it was a bottle of whiskey and a single shot glass.

“Don’t you have any toys?” I asked.

“I have lots of toys,” Dolly said merrily.  She opened the bottom drawer and showed me what lay inside.  “See any you like?”

They didn’t look like any toys I ever saw before, though I did recognize a pair of handcuffs like the kind the kid next door uses when he plays cops and robbers.

“No,” I said.  “What about clothes?”

“I have lots of different outfits,” Dolly said.

She opened the upper drawer and started taking out carefully folded clothes.  They were all different sorts and styles.  She had shorts and a T-shirt, a darling little pinafore dress, a lacy thing like the kind mommy keeps hidden in her chest of drawers, and something that seemed to be all straps.

“What are you doing down here?” mommy shouted, and for the third time I felt too scared to cry out.

Mommy grabbed me by the arm and yanked me away from Dolly.  “Override command C,” she said.

Without changing her pleasant expression Dolly put everything back and resumed standing where I originally found her.  Mommy turned off the light, locked the door, then marched me upstairs.

She sat me down on a kitchen chair.  I could see she felt terribly distressed, like she was trying to decide what to do.

“…I’m sorry…” I said.

“We tell you to stay out of the basement for a reason,” mommy said.

“I know.  I’m sorry.”

“That…that was daddy’s special…friend.”

“Is she real?”

Mommy paused, trying to figure out how to explain things to me.  “Like a doll is real, yes.  Like a video game, or those voices we hear when we’re calling for information.  To that degree, yes.

“But she’s not a real little girl, she only looks like one.  She’s a machine, a robot.”

“Why does daddy keep her down there?”

Mommy knelt before me, cupping my face in her hands.  “Remember when I told you the basement was dangerous?  That there were things down there that might hurt you?  Well, mommy let daddy buy Dolly so she could protect us.  Dolly is down there to make sure the bad thing doesn’t come upstairs.”

“But I see spiders upstairs.  Sometimes.”

“Not little things like bugs and ants, a big bad thing.  Dolly makes sure the big bad thing never comes upstairs, never get out of the house to hurt other children.

“So you need to understand this, honey.  Dolly is our secret weapon against the big bad things.  You must never go in the basement again.  And you must never ever tell anybody about Dolly, because then they’ll be afraid of the big bad thing and they might try to get rid of it by chasing us out of town.

“It can happen.  It happened before, when you were just an infant.  It can happen again if they find out.”

“But what is the big bad thing?”

“I wish I could tell you, honey.  It…it’s just a big bad thing that goes wherever your father goes.  We got Dolly to keep the big bad thing away from you.  So remember, it’s very important for your safety, for my safety, for your father’s safety that nobody ever knows about Dolly, understood?”

I nodded.

“Cross your heart and hope to die?”

I crossed my heart and nodded again.

“Good girl,” mommy said, tilting my head forward to kiss the top of my scalp.  “Oh, one other thing:  Daddy will be very, very upset if he learns you went down into the basement and into his private room.  Now, if you promise to be a good girl and never mention this to anyone, I won’t let daddy know what you did.”

“I promise,” I croaked.

That was eight years ago.  Shortly after I promised mommy never to talk about Dolly, they moved the keyring to a new location that I never found again.

Over time the incident seemed more and more unreal to me, and I started wondering if it was a dream or not.

Funny thing, I developed a phobia about the basement and never went down there again, scurrying past the door leading downstairs whenever I needed to pass it.

I did wonder what the big bad thing was that Dolly was protecting me from.

Today in sex ed class, I learned what a pedophile is.

  © Buzz Dixon

[zims-left-shoe]

Hi, I absolutely adore your stuff!!! Its my birthday soon and I would be forever grateful if you could write me something for Zim? I dont really mind what it is or what it's about. I'd just be happy for cute headcannons. Thank youuuuuuu!!!!💞😘

Sure!! I finally got to this. I’ve been wanting to write some headcanons anyway, but I have a lot in my ask box so I just haven’t gotten to it yet. This is basically a list of various headcanons that are cute (in my opinion), they don’t really have a specifc theme! 

Cute Zim relationship headcanons (all are my personal opinion)!! 

Irkens are touch starved, since the entire empire is basically one big military. Love within Irken society is incredibly taboo, as is physical affection. Most forms of physical contact between Irkens tend to be painful (i.e punches, kicks, strikes). The whole concept of romantic relationships was a bit of a culture shock to Zim. 

That being said, the very first time you had attempted something in that vein (even if it was something as simple as a hug or taking his hand), he wasn’t quite sure how to react. At first he was very jumpy. However, if you would pull away, he would immediately bring you back in. 

In the beginning, you would have to be the one to instigate anything romantic. It wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t want it (he was pretty much hooked on physical affection the first time you held his hand), rather he was too proud to ask for anything. He didn’t want to be seen as weak, begging for attention. He was Irk’s finest soldier after all!

Eventually, he had stopped caring about that. Once he gained confidence with the whole thing, he would make the first moves quite often. Because if he wanted it, he would take it (within your comfort level of course).

Zim is a clingy bastard. Too conceited to admit it, but clingy nonetheless. If you ignore him for too long, he will begin to bug you in the most obnoxious ways imaginable. Trying to work or be productive? He’s basically the equivalent of a cat, he’ll just lay right across whatever you’re trying to do, or right on top of you to prevent you from accomplishing anything. If he can’t do that, he’ll bitch and moan until you acknowledge his existence. If you somehow manage to ignore him after all of that, he’ll get all schmoopy and lay on the ground all depressed like (basically that one scene from ETF) until you go convince him you still love him.

(more under the cut)

Despite being cautious with hugs at first, he learned to love them. Again, he would never say this aloud, but they make him feel warm and safe. Zim would never verbally ask for a hug, rather just slither his way into your arms. This happens often, especially when he’s unhappy. Sometimes he’ll even use his PAK legs along with his arms, although he’s very careful when he does this since they can be sharp; this usually happens if he thinks you need to be protected from something, even if it’s not a physical threat (breakdowns worry him, he believes you to be in danger from something he can’t fight).

Holding hands is something Zim likes a lot. Not only does it feel nice, he’s discovered it to be a very effective way to show the world that you are his, and that he is yours. He tends to be a bit jealous and overprotective, so if he feels that there is even a minor possibility of your relationship being threatened, his clinginess goes up a thousand percent. Anytime you walk anywhere together, you better believe your hands are linked. 

Cuddles are also a thing he loves dearly. Once he gets comfortable, Zim is definitely a cuddle bug. It’s like a hug but better! And if you’re at his place, there is a ninety percent chance GIR is joining in. Just like one happy family! Again, if he initiates it, he won’t ask for it. You could just be sitting on a couch and he’ll slowly curl himself into you, gradually latching a limb at a time onto you, until you’re both just a mess of tangled arms and legs. But, oh, if you even make the smallest remark about him being cute, he’ll throw a hissy fit and say that he’s just doing this for your sake, not his own enjoyment (and then two seconds later he’ll be purring and chirping in your arms, content as can be).

Zim is competitive as hell. He’ll turn anything into a competition if you let him. If you remain passive and assure him that, yes, he is the best, he’ll leave it at that. However, if you don’t back down and try to give him a run for his money, expect an all out war. You can use this to your advantage. For example, want him to be overly-affectionate for the day? Challenge him to see who can do the most nice things for each other. Even if he says that’s stupid, he’ll still accept the challenge and suddenly you have the sweetest alien in the universe. He will never back down. Ever. So these little games will be drug out for as long as you let them. It’s best just to let him win after a day or two. 

Dates with Zim are either the most outlandish thing you’ve ever done, or the most charming and romantic. There’s no in-between. And they can go from zero to a hundred real quick. Typical Earth dates make no sense to him in the slightest, so even if he does try to take you on a cliché date (dinner and a movie, stuff like that), it will most likely go horribly wrong as a result of poor planning. Those dates tend to be the funniest, but they frustrate him to no end since he clearly can’t get them right. He tends to be more successful when he stops trying to think like a human, since he really can’t. Lots of dates in space ensue, which tend to be both exciting and amazing. Although everywhere he takes you isn’t anything special to him, he can tell you’re having the time of your life, which is enough to satisfy him. GIR probably tags along a lot (not only is he a great robot son, he makes an excellent wing man).

Kissing is a very strange experience for him. Zim has never understood the act itself or its appeal, and at first found it rather disgusting. Eventually he gets used to it, but he’s still completely confused by it. It’s not his favorite thing, and he definitely has to be in the mood for it, but he’s more willing to take part in it. Especially if it becomes competitive; pray for yourself then, because you have a monster on your hands. And if someone just won’t get the hint, kissing is his way of telling them to step off before they lose a limb; he’s a jealous little devil when it comes to you.

As time goes on, you’ll begin to notice that several articles of clothes of yours have gone missing. Zim likes to take jackets he thinks you won’t miss anymore, because as previously mentioned, he’s a clingy bugger, and so when you can’t be around him, he’ll put one of those on while he works down in the lab or is doing repairs. If he gets it dirty, he’ll sneakily throw it with the rest of your laundry and take another one.

Zim is extremely proud to have you. He will show you off to anyone and everyone who will listen, including his Tallest (who seemed rather confused). At first it was embarrassing, but you had just learned to roll with the inevitable. 

If you ask very nicely (i.e. offering cuddles and feeding his ego), Zim could be convinced to give you a lesson on flying the voot cruiser. Does it go well? Well, Zim’s piloting skills are...not consistently amazing, his teaching skills even less so, but you didn’t kill yourselves. You would have thought he would be pissed after the ship was docked in the hangar in worse condition than it had left, but surprisingly he was even more motivated to teach you to pilot an Irken ship. Mainly because it was a way to spend time with you in a way that he could understand, but nonetheless he made flying lessons a regular thing. 

Expect gifts constantly. Despite his evil plans going horribly wrong all of the time, Zim is actually incredibly skilled when it comes to tech. So, he makes you things. A lot. They tend to be things that are actually useful, with far more advanced technology than anything available on Earth. Plus, Zim is a million times more helpful than an IT guy. Your phone or laptop not working? You can take it to Zim and within five minutes not only is your original problem fixed, but the device itself has been completely upgraded with Irken tech to give it more functionality and efficiancy than you could have ever dreamed of.

Overall, despite his flaws and being a massive pain in the ass, Zim is a cutie in his own right. :)

[trudy-shams]

What we become -Part 11

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Steve had decided to drag you along to see Sharon after you two had your "reunion" of sorts. You had dozed off and on for a few hours after you two had spent considerable time exploring each other, thoroughly.

But honestly, you were still tired and slightly sore and just wanted sleep.A few more hours in Steve's arms would have been nice and you told him as much but he was clearly a man on a mission, insisting he wanted to formally break the news to Sharon after which you two were "not supposed to get out of bed, ever". Steve's words, not yours.

You were not comfortable with the idea of being a part of this confrontation, or "discussion" as Steve said but he insisted that he wanted you to be there, saying there was nothing better than Sharon's corroboration of Steve's side of the story, to clear your head of any lingering doubts. He appeared confident that Sharon won't mind one bit since there was nothing romantic between them and they were just friends, in fact she might be happy as the burden of breaking this alliance off would fall on Steve in front of both families.

He playfully rolled his eyes and dragged you along " for the 4th time sweetheart, there is nothing to worry about, trust me" He gave you a boyish grin and opened the door. Steve had asked Sharon to come to Asgard,the one nearer to his place, Even though it wasn't the same outlet, visiting this place brought back so many memories, most of them happy and quite a few involving Steve.

As if reading your mind, Steve turned around and pecked you on the lips, eyes shining with so much love that you couldn't stop a smile from spreading on your lips. You eyes caught movement behind Steve, spotting Sharon standing up from her sitting position with a frown on her face. Following your lead, Steve turned around and smiled at Sharon, which she hesitantly mirrored.

"What is going on?" Sharon blurted as soon as you two neared her table. She eyed your intertwined fingers and then looked back at up Steve, not making eye contact with you at all.

You just knew this was not going to go as Steve expected.

Steve, oblivious to all this, beamed at you and squeezed your hand before addressing Sharon "Remember Shar, I told you I fell in love long ago but there was no hope for me" Sharon gave no outward response but a twitch in her eye told you she had heard him.

Steve looked back towards you and continued " Well, looks like there is hope after all"

There was a pause where Steve continued beaming at you, Sharon stood there like a statue and you were torn between smiling back at Steve, eyeing Sharon for a reaction and exploring imaginary dirt on your shoes.

You should have asked Steve to do this alone, it was weird accompanying your boyfriend while he was breaking up with his fiance.

God! This sounded so bad with no context.

"What is the meaning of this Steve?" Sharon had tears in her eyes and that is what broke Steve out of his lovesick stupor "you said that to me when I left for fashion school".

You immediately looked between Steve and Sharon while Steve looked like a fish out of water. Opening his mouth several times to say something and then closing.

After a tense few seconds, Steve, finally, spoke "Sharon, I know I never said that to you. Cmon, stop goofing around, my girl here is gonna leave me again" The easygoing air Steve was aiming for did not hit its mark.

There were tears streaming down Sharon's eye "Why do you keep doing this Steve.We are getting married in a few months, please stop this nonsense now. I am not putting up with this anymore, I won't pretend to break up with you just so you could fuck some random gir, again!"

If that wasn't a bucket of cold water, you didn't know what was.

You tried snatching your hand back from Steve but he held on, if anything, his grip tightened

"No, you are not running away from me again" he spoke to you before turning to Sharon " I don't know what game you are playing but you need to stop now. We are not getting married, no date has been announced and it never will and I never asked for your approval to fuck any girl"

You hissed and tried yanking your arm back.

Steve realised what he said "I don't sleep around with random girls sweetheart, that's what I meant"

Sharon interrupted and spoke directly to you now "I don't know what lies he has told you but he has done this exact thing multiple times before. At that time, I let it go because I love him too much and didn't want him to feel tied down but now so close to our wedding, this is unacceptable"

"Sharon,I am warning you. I will call your mother and tell her the truth about the baby if you don't stop fucking lying" Steve was pissed now.

"What baby, waa..Steve what complicated story have you weaved this time. Honestly, I don't care. Come back to me when you are ready to apologise and then we will talk" Sharon grabbed her things and stood upto Steve "..and No, you don't have my permission to fuck her"

Now,that pissed you off. Who the hell did she think she was?

"Too late for that now" You spit at her and she turned to look at you horrified but recovered quickly.

"Great, just great. Another conquest added to the list. Did she ask you to break up with me so you could fuck her the second time. Is she that good a lay? Fine, have it your way. Come to me when you are bored of her" Sharon glared at you and tried rounding Steve to leave but Steve grabbed her arm and pulled out his phone.

"I am calling Mrs. Barned right now if you don't tell y/n the truth"

Sharon scoffed "Sure, go ahead"

Steve sighed " I am sorry Sharon but you have left me with no choice"

Steve dialed her number and put the phone on speaker "If you confess, I will hang up"

Sharon stood expressionless, crossing her arms in front of her.

Mrs. Barnes picked up the phone and she had the same annoying tilt in her voice that Sharon had "Hi Steve, how are you honey"

Steve looked at Sharon for a beat who just raised an eyebrow at him.

"I am good Mrs. Barnes, I have called you to confess something to you"

You realised that everyone in Asgard had gone quiet. Jesus! Every single person in the sparsely crowded bar was looking at you three.

"Oh go ahead honey. What is it?"

"The baby Sharon miscarried wasn't mine. She was in love with some guy named Stephen and he was the father of her child. I agreed to take the blame just to keep her out of trouble" Steve spoke softly on the phone and you were so thankful that he kept his temper in check given the delicate nature of this declaration. He truly was a gentleman.You squeezed his hand softly and tried giving him a small smile, which fell the moment the next words were out of Mrs. Barnes' mouth.

"What baby are you talking about Steve?"

You stopped breathing.

Steve blanched and started saying something on the phone, which you couldn't hear over the ringing in your ears.

Sharon had a smirk on her lips when your eyes met.

There was pindrop silence in Asgard apart from Steve's vehement conversation on the phone.

You wanted the earth to swallow you.

Your cheeks heated up from embarrassment and you started looking at possible exits.

But then a lightbulb went on in your head.

You put your hand over Steve's cheek and saw Sharon tense in the periphery while Steve stopped speaking on the phone and looked at you with pleading eyes.

"Please believe me. I don't know why she..."

"Shh, it's okay baby. Whatever happened in the past doesn't really matter to me. What matters is today and our future, I know you love me and I love you. You can break up with Sharon and we will be on our way"

If Steve was shocked by your words, he didn't show it. He just stayed rooted on the spot, his eyes asking you a million questions at once.

But before he could say something and ruin your plan, exactly what you hoped for, happened.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter, of course it matters. I was pregnant with his baby and it doesn't matter to you. What if the baby was around, would you still say the same thing" Sharon was seething now.

You heard an audible gasp on the other side of the phone and Steve let out a puff of air through his mouth.

Sharon was still looking at you with anger, clearly missing what she had just confessed.

I mean, everyone in the bar collectively gasped but she was still oblivious.

You decided to help her catch up "But Sharon, your mother just said there was no baby" Sharon physically recoiled from you both and started blabbering " I mean, there was no baby. My mom meant there was no baby from Stephan. Of course, there was a baby from Steve..."

"Enough! Just stop. You and your mother are more vicious than I thought"Steve disconnected the phone and turned to Sharon with venom in his eyes  "I will tell my family the truth because it looks like your treacherous family knew everything all along. Keep the ring if you want, it means just as much as it meant before,nothing"

He then grabbed your hand and walked out of the bar.

As soon as you two were out of the door, he swung you to face him and hugged you tight "Thank you. Thank you so much for trusting me. Thank you"

You leaned back and cupped his face "It wasn't hard to, I beleived in you" you hugged him again and spoke with your face tucked in his chest "but I am also not stupid, no one would be dumb enought to call someone's parents with such a huge claim if they didn't beleive it to be true, specailly on speaker phone"

You could feel Steve's laugh rumble in his chest  while you continued with a grimace" I just wish you would have done this somewhere private. I am 77% sure someone recorded the whole thing"

----------------------

Nat's Wedding

"C'mon Steve, just one more dance" you were pleading with Steve for another dance while he was shaking his head.

Nat's wedding was a dream. Outdoor with the most lavish decor you had ever seen, even on TV.

But now at the reception, everyone was drunk and dancing like crazy.

"I think I have stepped on your toes enough for today" Steve grabbed your arm to pull you into his lap "and I think you need to rest too. I can't wait to get you all alone and help you out of this beautiful dress, can't have you tiring yourself out entirely on the dance floor"

"I am too tired to get the dress off by myself handsome" you said sleepily and grabbed his hair to attack his mouth.

After a few heated moments, Steve pulled away while you chased his mouth with yours " Okaay..no more drinks for you honey. Here, have a glass of water and you are not leaving my sight now" He bopped your nose and passed you a glass of water.

"But I want that fruity tall glass that Wanda has. Wanda, gimmie" you slurred a Wanda made her appearance followed by Vision.

Wanda had surprisingly become one of your good friends. She had filed for divorce from James a few weeks ago, stating that yours & Steve's and Nat & Pietro's love had given her the push she needed to follow her own heart.

"This is orange juice babe, you hate orange juice" She said while sipping on her drink.

"Orange juice sucks. I only like one kinda juice..Steve's" you smiled dopely at him while he shut his eyes and subtly shook his head over Wanda and Vision's loud bark of laughter.

"TMI baby and I think that is our cue to retire for the night" Steve made to get the both of you out of the chair.

"I can't goooo.. it's my sister's wedding, There are things that need to be done. What if she needs me to help her pee" you pouted at Steve.

Why was he looking at your face like that "I love it when he looks at me like that, it's usually wohooo night after this" you whisper yelled at Wanda and gave her an exaggerated wink.

Wanda put her drink down while trying and failing to keep a straight face "Honey, you know Nat has Pietro to help her now and then  I am here. You can go off to bed"

"With Steve" you added "I go to bed with Steve, every night, mostly" you then turned to Steve "baby, wohoo night?"

"Honey, with how drunk you are, it will really be a boohoo morning for you" . With that, Steve picked you up bridal style and bid Wanda and Vision good night.

"I can't wait" you said sleepily before grabbing onto Steve's shoulders and hugging him from your position in his arms "I love you"

You felt a pair of lips in your hair and a deep " I love you too baby, so much" from Steve before slowly entering dreamland.

[glowstar826]

Sixty Million Won

He sighed with consternation as he was proven right. Another horse, clearly faster, had taken the lead. He was about to cross his arms and wait for the inevitable loss of money when he spotted the number.

“No…” he breathed, not believing his eyes. Rubbing them, he refocused his sight on the screen to check if his brain wasn’t deceiving him. Indeed, he realized with numb euphoria, it was not.

Number four had been overtaken by none other than nine.

Gi-hun's restaurant is about to become a failure. A wealthy, enigmatic stranger offers to help him out.

Hey guys! This is the first Squid Game fic I'm posting (but not the first I've written). This is supposed to be an exploration of how Gi-hun could've fallen into his gambling addiction.

CHARACTERS: Seong Gi-hun, Kang Eun-ji (ex-wife), Seong Ga-yeong, Park Chan-yeol (OC), the Salesman

WORD COUNT: 4.2k

TAGS: @royalydamned, @cesar-hoe, @break-free-killer-queen, @squidgameincorrect, @fallen0020, and anyone else who follows me that has watched Squid Game!

"You're closing it down?"

Kang Eun-ji's mouth was gaping open as she stared at her husband in shock.

"What choice do I have?" sighed Gi-hun, throwing his hands up in defeat. "There's no business. I can't keep losing money."

"There must be another way."

"If there is, I'll have a hard time finding it."

"What will your mother say?" hissed Eun-ji with worry.

"Who cares what she says?" Gi-hun snapped, immediately looking regretful as he spoke in such an ill tone about his amma. In a softer voice, he muttered, "She'll just berate me, won't she? I'm already a disappointment to her. Probably wishes I ended up like my friend Sang-woo, wherever he is now."

"Don't say that," said Eun-ji, crossing the table to lay a comforting hand on her husband. "She's your mother."

"She probably likes you more than anyone else," Gi-hun joked, to which Eun-ji laughed a little. "She's always making you such nice things to eat whenever we visit, nicer than whatever I had as a child."

"Let's go to bed," Eun-ji suggested with a yawn. "It's too late to talk about all this."

"Good idea," agreed Gi-hun, and without another word, he began making his way to the bathroom he shared with his wife, dragging his feet along as he did so.

Gi-hun and Eun-ji had tucked Ga-yeong in bed around ten minutes before. Just as Eun-ji had been about to go to the bathroom to brush her teeth, Gi-hun had said he needed to talk to her about something urgent. So they had gone back to the dining table where Gi-hun had revealed that his restaurant was a failure and that he'd need to shut it down soon.

Gi-hun was frantic. He had no idea how he'd be able to bring food to the table if he kept on having failure after failure, starting with the loss of his job at the car company. And even though Eun-ji had somewhat forgiven Gi-hun for missing Ga-yeong's birth three years ago, he still felt heart-wrenching guilt that he hadn't been able to support his wife in her time of need. He'd felt so angry with himself after that, always wondering why he'd been stupid enough to even go to that strike, knowing that Eun-ji had been ready to pop at any moment.

As Gi-hun walked past Ga-yeong's room, he heard a tiny voice call, "Appa?"

He stopped. Backtracking a few steps, he cracked the door open a few more inches (Eun-ji always insisted on leaving it a little open in case of an emergency).

There little Ga-yeong sat, fully awake and upright on her bed, her puff of hair sticking out in all directions.

Checking his watch, Gi-hun raised an eyebrow while saying, "It's very late for you to be up."

"I had a nightmare," Ga-yeong explained, and for the first time, Gi-hun could see his daughter's unshed tears.

"Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, fully stepping in the room and gently shutting the door behind him. Then, he sat at the edge of the small bed and held out his arms, making Ga-yeong grin and leap into them.

After making sure Ga-yeong was secure in his arms, he stood up, walking around the room as he cradled his little girl against his shoulder. He then began singing "Arirang," a national folk song that had been sung to him when he was afraid. Though he didn't sing very well, it still worked without fail. He hoped it'd continue to work as she grew older and smarter.

In no time, Ga-yeong's even, rhythmic breaths were all that could be heard in the small room as Gi-hun gently laid her down, fluffing her pillows and draping the pink, white-dotted blanket over her. Then, after brushing her hair back and planting a kiss on her head, he slipped out of the room, taking care to make as little noise as possible as he shut the door behind him. Though it was against the rules Eun-ji had set, Gi-hun thought that perhaps his daughter would feel safer knowing there wouldn't be any unwanted visitors.

He felt slightly desolate as he turned to face the dark hallway, the little light that was there coming through the window at the end. He always felt oddly alone when darkness surrounded him like this. It made him feel as though no one would be there for him if he needed help. In other words, he felt helpless. Sighing, he headed for the bathroom, resolving to not think about any of his problems until the sun shone on him in the morning.

Brushing his hair back, Gi-hun tightened his muffler as he made his way through the snowy streets. As a kid, his amma made him wear a hat when it was cold out. He hated it because the hats he wore always flattened his fluffy hair, making his head look like a misshapen pear by the time he got to school. When he moved out after marrying Eun-ji, he donated all the winter hats he owned to a homeless shelter and resolved to only wear caps when it was especially sunny.

Walking into his restaurant, he greeted his sole employee, a man named Park Chan-yeol, with a bright smile. In the two years his fried chicken business had been running, Gi-hun and Chan-yeol had formed a tentative friendship. They had been the only ones there at the start, and they would be the only ones there at the end. In between, around fifty different people had come and gone, each providing something unique to the small restaurant.

"Good morning, Gi-hun sajangnim," said Chan-yeol with a tiny bow.

"How many times have I told you to simply call me hyung?" was Gi-hun's response as he clapped Chan-yeol's shoulder.

"Not when we're working! What will people say?"

"You talk as if there'll be people coming in, Chan-yeol," laughed Gi-hun. If he was going to close the business, he thought he might as well joke about it.

"You never know," Chan-yeol countered cheerfully. "It's very cold out. By nighttime, there will be people coming in to eat our delicious fried chicken."

Setting his jacket and muffler on the rack in the back room, Gi-hun shrugged. "If you say so."

The men mostly sat behind the cash register chatting about old times, interrupted only by Gi-hun getting up to make his and Chan-yeol's lunch. As per Gi-hun's earlier prediction, no one—not a single person—walked through that dingy door.

Until someone did in the early evening.

The man who walked in was wearing a custom-tailored suit, complete with a tie, dress shoes, and a small handkerchief in his breast pocket. As he approached the counter, Gi-hun's eyes widened as he noted the potential customer's obvious wealth. He got up to head to the kitchen as Chan-yeol jumped up, greeting the man and asking him what he wanted to eat. As Gi-hun was about to step in the kitchen, Chan-yeol whispered, "Told you!"

From the window by the stove, Gi-hun could see the man roving over the menu, scanning it and deciding what he wanted to have. Only a minute passed before Chan-yeol popped in, telling Gi-hun the man's order.

When Gi-hun served their customer his meal, the man unexpectedly spoke to him

"Would you care to sit down?"

Gi–hun cocked his head to the side confusedly. What could this clearly rich man want from a person like him?

"Um…sure. Okay."

He slid into the seat awkwardly, clasping his hands under the table.

"I noticed that your business has fallen on hard times," the man began in a low tone.

Gi-hun's eyebrows instantly furrowed.

"How do you know that?" he hissed.

"I know a great many things," the man responded demurely. "I find businesses who aren't doing as well as they can, and I bring them to where they want to be."

The tone the man used turned a cog in Gi-hun's mind. Someone was offering him help! Perhaps he'd be able to bring food to the table once more. But…

"How do I know you're not lying to me?"

Gi-hun, for all his failures in the academic realm, could at least tell when someone had an agenda courtesy of Sang-woo's distrusting nature. His suspicion of him grew despite how enticing the offer was.

"Here," said the man, slipping him a small piece of paper from his pocket. "Come to this address after you close for the night."

Immediately, Gi-hun started shaking his head.

"I can't, my wife will wonder where I am—"

"You can easily make your excuses to her, no?" countered the stranger smoothly, slowly rising from the booth. "You have the rest of the day to think about it. Consider my offer. It's only valid till midnight."

Then, without as much as waiting for a response, the man waltzed out of the restaurant, leaving Gi-hun in a daze.

He was still in a daze when Chan-yeol came out from the kitchen after washing the dishes.

"Sajangnim? Who was that? What did he tell you?"

Gi-hun looked up at his employee and friend.

"You know we're not doing good business."

Chan-yeol looked down at him with confusion.

"What does that have to do with the customer?"

Sighing, Gi-hun took the slip of paper and held it up for Chan-yeol to see.

"He said he could help the business do well again. Before he left, he gave me this paper."

"I don't trust him," Chan-yeol replied in an instant.

"I don't either, but…his offer…I'm very curious as to what it is," he admitted.

Chan-yeol shook his head quickly.

"Please don't, Gi-hun sajangnim," the younger man pleaded. "Just keep working and trying to get more business. We'll get back soon enough, won't we?"

Gi-hun's eyes watered at the last sentence.

Looking up at him, he said, "I'm going to close this place." Two tears rolled down his cheeks as Chan-yeol's face morphed into shock. "The business is so bad that there's no way we can get back without a miracle. That man is probably our saving grace."

Chan-yeol still wasn't convinced.

"It's probably a scam," he argued. "People make a living from selling information like this."

Gi-hun felt pulled from his temptation, surprised by this new information.

"They do?"

Chan-yeol nodded. "So many scammers call or send mail. How do you think they know where to find me?"

"Damn," Gi-hun muttered. "I must be really dumb if I couldn't even figure this out."

"No, sajangnim, you're not dumb," said Chan-yeol, placing a strong hand on Gi-hun's shoulder. "You just trust very deeply. That's why I'm so proud to call you my friend. You're honest and hardworking and deserve everything you have. Your daughter is very lucky to be able to call you her appa."

Gi-hun's resulting smile was pained as he heard such profound praise directed at him. On the contrary, he didn't feel like he deserved anything. He was a disappointment to his mother, couldn't hold down any source of income, and was where he was because he didn't apply himself in school.

It was the other way around. He was lucky to be able to call someone his daughter.

"Let's continue working," Chan-yeol suggested. "Maybe our luck hasn't run out yet. What do you say, sajangnim?"

Gi-hun nodded, standing up.

"Perhaps it hasn't," he said.

"I'll get back to the kitchen," Chan-yeol informed. Eyeing the paper in Gi-hun's hand, he added, "You should throw that away. Forget about it."

Again, Gi-hun nodded. With a smile, Chan-yeol retreated back into the kitchen, leaving the older man alone in the dining area.

Gi-hun looked down at the paper, which was still unfolded. When he was sure Chan-yeol wouldn't see him, he opened the paper up and saw the address the man had mentioned. He recognized the street straight away, for it was only a block away from his apartment.

Was visiting the address and taking the rich man up on his offer truly worth it? What if Chan-yeol was right about being able to get back without a miracle? What if it truly was a scam?

"Gi-hun sajangnim!" yelled Chan-yeol from the kitchen, harshly pulling Gi-hun from his thoughts. "There's a rat in here—do you know where the broom is?"

"I'll get it, Chan-yeol!" the older man called back, quickly stuffing the paper in his pocket. "You keep an eye on the rat."

"Okay!" Chan-yeol replied.

Quickly shaking his head, Gi-hun returned to reality and began searching for the broom. He'd have to think about the man's offer later.

"How late will you be?" asked Eun-ji from the other end of the line.

"Pretty late," Gi-hun answered, shivering as his breath came out of his mouth in small puffs. "There's no one to work the night shift," he then lied just as the thought popped in his head. In times like these, Eun-ji's ignorance regarding how many people he employed came in handy.

After he'd closed the restaurant, allowing Chan-yeol to go home for the night, he called Eun-ji on his cell, telling her he wouldn't be home on time.

"Okay, Gi-hun. I'll wait for you. Will you bring dinner?"

"Of course, yeobo," said Gi-hun with a small, crinkly smile.

"Thank you."

After Eun-ji bade him goodbye, Gi-hun hung up and pulled out the now-crumpled scrap of paper the rich man had given him earlier that evening.

A few subway stations later, he found himself in front of a large, nondescript building. Neon letters and fluorescent lights shone through the windows brightly, making Gi-hun squint, and from what little he could see, there were many, many people inside. Muffled shouts—cheerful, frustrated, excited—filled his ears, seeping through the small crevice in between the two doors in front of him.

"Well, let's see what this man has to offer," he said to himself before pushing the doors and heading inside.

Gi-hun's hands instantly flew to his ears as soon as he stepped in. Everyone was screaming so loudly that it morphed into a single noise, so passionate and overbearing that he thought it would crush him alive. What was this place?

"You came!" a voice yelled into the mist of other voices, and Gi-hun turned to find the man who'd come into his restaurant earlier. "I knew you would!"

"What the hell is this?" Gi-hun yelled back.

"Horse racing!" the man replied cheerfully, placing a hand on Gi-hun's shoulder and guiding him to a side of the room where it was quieter.

"Horse racing…as in betting?" Gi-hun questioned, dread starting to settle at the pit of his stomach. "Are these people betting?"

Before the rich man could answer, there was a deafening cry as the current horse race came to its conclusion. While some people jumped up in glee, waving around papers Gi-hun assumed to be where they placed their bets, there were angry cries, too, frustrated at how much money they'd lost.

"Why don't you give it a try?" the man asked in a low voice as people started placing their bets again. "Bet a few million won, maybe. Start off small. And if you win, increase the bet."

But Gi-hun was still processing the crazed behavior of the betters around him. It was only when a form was placed into his hands that he realized what the man had asked.

"Personally, I'd choose numbers four and nine for the next race," the man whispered in Gi-hun's ear as though he were passing along a secret conspiracy. "Those horses are always winners."

Shrugging his shoulders, Gi-hun decided to place a bet of ten million won, marking the fourth and ninth bubbles on the betting sheet. It wasn't much, but it was enough to make him jump up and scream if he won the money. Letting out a nervous sigh, he passed the note to the man, who grinned and took it to the desk where he handed the form to one of the people behind it. Then, he made his way to the watch area and focused his eyes on the screen above him.

When the race kicked off, Gi-hun struggled to find the horses he'd betted on. Everything was moving so fast, it was impossible to keep up—

And that's when he locked eyes on number four, who was clearly ahead of the other horses.

Could this really be happening? he thought, not daring to let his thoughts get the better of him. There was no way his luck was about to work in his favor, absolutely no way.

He sighed with consternation as he was proven right. Another horse, clearly faster, had taken the lead. He was about to cross his arms and wait for the inevitable loss of money when he spotted the number.

"No…" he breathed, not believing his eyes. Rubbing them, he refocused his sight on the screen to check if his brain wasn't deceiving him. Indeed, he realized with numb euphoria, it was not.

Number four had been overtaken by none other than nine.

Caught up in the crowd, he started shouting along with the others, chanting for his horses, willing for them to win even though it was unlikely his voice would be heard through the screen. Gi-hun let his shouts become louder to the point of them being screams.

"Come on! Come on! Come on!" he yelled, pumping his fist in the air. At this point, his screams had increased in their aggression, so fierce and passionate that his spittle had started flying through the air. Quickly recognizing this, he calmed down a bit, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. But once clean, he was back to chanting with the rest of the betters.

Gi-hun actually jumped a foot off the ground when numbers four and nine crossed the finish line.

"YEEEEEEEAH!" he thundered, throwing a punch to the air. "THAT'S HOW IT'S FUCKING DONE!"

His celebrations, though loud, weren't unlike the celebrations of the others around him. People were jumping up and down, crying, hugging each other because their horses had won. And then there were people who were snarling, angry that their horses had lost. But none of that was a concern to Gi-hun, who wasn't slow in realizing that he'd actually won money.

He beelined for the counter where the winners were lined up to collect their cash, eagerly anticipating the crisp bills that'd soon be placed into his waiting hands. He couldn't believe it! At this rate, he'd be able to save his restaurant, and he'd have a stable source of income once more.

"Thank you, thank you," he repeated breathlessly as he was handed the precious money. Quickly pocketing it inside his jacket, he made to leave the betting house before being stopped by that same stranger from before.

"Only one?" he questioned, putting a hand on Gi-hun's shoulder. "Come on, now, don't tell me you've given up just yet."

"I haven't!" Gi-hun replied with a wide smile. "I just have to get back home to my wife and celebrate. It's very late, you know." Checking his watch, his eyes widened when he saw it was already nine.

"Then take even more money home with this last race," the man reasoned. "I'll tell you the winning horses again if you'll allow me to."

Feeling conflicted, Gi-hun couldn't decide whether to continue betting or go home with what he had. Ten million won wasn't a small amount of money. It would help pay for many things that needed fixing in his life. But—but!—maybe his luck hadn't run out yet.

Before he knew it, he was back in front of the screen, this time betting on numbers twelve and fifteen with a whopping fifty million won on the line. The rich stranger—who Gi-hun realized he still didn't know the name of—had assured him that twelve and fifteen were sure winners.

Just like before with four and nine, twelve and fifteen took the lead. Gi-hun yelled encouragements to his horses, willing them once more to bring it home. They couldn't let him down, not when he had so much money on the line.

"Yes, yes, yes—YES!" Gi-hun screamed once more as twelve and fifteen crossed the finish line first, a little less excited than the first race but still highly energetic. It didn't take long for him to realize he'd be taking sixty million won home! "Ahhhh, I did it!"

Everything was all right again! Oh, how happy Eun-ji would be once he told her this news! He couldn't believe it. He couldn't process it.

Sixty. Million. Won.

He wanted to find the rich stranger and thank him. Without him, Gi-hun would've never been able to get the money to keep his restaurant running for a few more years. Luckily, he found the man just outside the entrance, and he bowed down so low his hair almost touched the ground.

"Thank you so much, seonsaengnim," Gi-hun said when he stood upright, taking the man's hand and shaking it fervently. "You've done me a great service tonight. Tell me anything you want, and I'll repay you the best I can."

The rich stranger's face remained strangely passive, but he cracked a small smile and patted Gi-hun's shoulder.

"Just spend your money. That is the way you will repay me, Seong Gi-hun ssi."

"Thank you again," Gi-hun made sure to say as he began heading for the subway down the street. "Thank you so much!"

The rich man merely smiled, holding up a hand to indicate he'd heard Gi-hun, before heading back inside the betting house.

"Eun-ji! Eun-ji! You won't believe what happened to me today!" cried Gi-hun as he burst into the apartment with snow-covered hair and many, many bags of Ga-yeong's favorite fried chicken.

"Aigo!" Eun-ji exclaimed as she saw the sheer number of bags her husband was carrying. It was nine thirty-seven. She had been about to put Ga-yeong to bed when Gi-hun had returned.

"Come, Ga-yeong!" he urged excitedly, setting down the bags. "Have some chicken before you go to bed!"

"Appa!" Ga-yeong cheered, jumping up to greet him. She had been sitting on the sofa, watching a silly cartoon about a sponge who lived in a pineapple under the sea.

Quickly taking off his gloves, Gi-hun asked Eun-ji if she could take the boxes of chicken out. "I'll set the table when I've gotten my layers off," he added.

Nodding, Eun-ji began setting out the boxes as Gi-hun took Ga-yeong in his arms. He grinned as she peppered little kisses all over his face.

"Let Appa take his jacket off at least!" Eun-ji chuckled, seeing the father and daughter's exchange. "It must be very hot."

"Ah, I don't mind," Gi-hun brushed off, ruffling Ga-yeong's hair before telling her to wait by the table. "Every kiss I get from my little princess is like winning a billion won."

After taking off his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack, he kicked off his boots and picked Ga-yeong up. Then, he took one of the drumsticks and held it up to his daughter's mouth. Gi-hun burst out laughing when Ga-yeong took an enormous bite, ripping about three fourths of the meat off the bone.

"You must be really hungry, sweetheart," Gi-hun commented, giggling. "You won't even spare your appa half the chicken!"

"Don't be silly!" Ga-yeong said in that tiny, cute voice of hers. "There are so many boxes!"

As the small family of three continued laughing and giggling, Ga-yeong soon grew sleepy, and Eun-ji took her to her room in response. Gi-hun then resumed the role of the responsible husband and began setting the table for himself and his wife.

Not a moment too soon did Eun-ji return, looking at Gi-hun in a way she hadn't looked at him since they'd first met. It was…fond. Adoring, his mind supplied.

"You really are lenient with Ga-yeong," she murmured.

"Is lenient the right word?" asked Gi-hun as he stood from his chair, gently placing his hands on his wife's shoulders, rubbing them affectionately with his thumbs.

Looking up at him, she asked, "What happened today, Gi-hun? You didn't tell me."

As soon as the question passed through her lips, Gi-hun grinned and placed an ardent kiss on them. He was pleased to see the resultant flush creeping up her cheeks as he pulled away.

"I got lucky," he whispered. "Very, very lucky."

"Is that so?"

Gi-hun nodded quickly, smiling again as he pulled Eun-ji into a tight embrace. Placing his chin on her head, he said with a slight waver in his voice, "I won't have to close the restaurant!" With happy tears, he declared, "We were given a miracle from the Buddha himself, nae sarang."

Eun-ji didn't need to know the specifics of his miracle, Gi-hun decided. It was no use worrying her about the fact he'd betted on horses to get the money he needed. Perhaps, he thought with a sly grin, he'd even be able to go back to that place and win some more tomorrow.

Gi-hun had a feeling that his luck hadn't run out just yet.

...

I hope you enjoyed reading it! I think you know who the salesman is in this fic. 😏

As always, reviews and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Hugs, Glow

[bibislut]

Hi!!! Can you Ginny x Luna story and it’s how they got together as a couple and there is drama with some of her friends and brothers accepting Ginny but she doesn’t care and stuff and lots of fluff with her and Luna?! Thanks can’t wait to see it I know it’ll be amazing! :)

I absolutely adore Linny, they are arguably the most aesthetic HP ship. Give me all the Linny ahhhh

Please check out these incredible Ginny x Luna fanarts here and here

FIND ME AS BIBISLUT ON AO3

REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!!

Word Count: 1456

Warnings: Homophobia and some lovely fluffy feels

Luna had been one of Ginny’s first friends at Hogwarts, and as the two girls matured, they had only grown closer. For years they had considered each other their best friend, spending practically all day, everyday together. If they weren’t together, they wrote letters to each other, eager not to miss a single moment in the other’s life. When they were thirteen, the two had accidentally synchronised their cycles and spent an entire weekend in bed together playing cards and eating chocolate. When they were fourteen, Ginny had broken her leg playing quidditch, and Luna had carried her books for her the entire following week, despite Ginny’s leg having been easily healed by Madame Pomfrey. When they were fifteen, Luna had told Ginny of a muggle practice called stick and poke, and the two had sat on the redhead’s bed a little after midnight under the glow of a lumos spell; giving each other matching heart tattoos on their ankles. When they were sixteen, the two had spent the summer after their OWLs repairing the Lovegood family home, which had been sitting in need the entire year after the battle. When they were seventeen, Luna had gotten her Muggle driving license, and so she and Ginny had spent a whole weekend over the Christmas break driving around Wales, and had to spend a night in the car park of a pub when the snow had gotten too bad; refusing to apparate home. When they were eighteen they celebrated their NEWT results with a family meal at the Burrow, Xenophilius in avid conversation with Arthur whilst Molly dozed with Teddy on the sofa.

The rest of the family had taken to the garden, drinks in hand, laying on blankets as they drunkenly chatted. Ginny excused herself, needing a moment alone from the ruckus. She climbed the stairs, all the way up to the attic; where amongst the boxes and cobwebs, she could look out of the window in the quiet and watch the stars. She pulled her long red hair into a high pony, rubbing at her neck as the joy of the night thrummed in her veins. 

“Stars is watching the stars.” A quiet voice murmured, and Ginny turned to see Luna walking towards her, a carefree smile on her face. The Gryffindor was hard pressed to find something she loved as much as the nickname her best friend had given her after she had realised Ginny’s freckles looked like constellations. 

“Indeed I am, Goldie.” Ginny threw her arm around Luna, watching her as she gazed out of the window, the moonlight on her face. “You’re so pretty.” She murmured. 

“I’m lucky to have found my soulmate so early.” Luna whispered, eyes not leaving the sky. 

“What do you mean?” Ginny’s eyebrows knitted together. 

“Some have to wait years for their soulmates, some never meet them at all.” She shrugged. “I am incredibly lucky to have found mine.” Luna turned her big blue eyes to Ginny.

“You reckon I’m your soulmate?” The words came out more quietly than Ginny expected, her heart racing.

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Luna searched her eyes and Ginny found herself stuck for an answer. She supposed that Luna was as close to a soulmate as she’d ever get - what with their almost perfect understanding of each other. She couldn’t picture ever being so close with anyone else.

“What if you start dating someone? You can’t very well go and tell them I’m your soulmate.”

Luna nodded thoughtfully to herself, looking around. When she finally looked back at Ginny, her words pierced the quiet fiercely, despite her quiet tone. “I suppose I’ll just have to date you, then.”

“Me?” Ginny squeaked, her arm falling from around Luna’s shoulders - but the blonde caught her hand.

“You love me, don’t you? I love you.” Luna said plainly.

“Well, of course-”

“Would you kiss me?”

Ginny’s mouth opened and closed silently, like a gaping fish. Even after all these years, Luna still surprised her. And yet, the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to. Ginny had held her when she cried, had walked hand in hand with her more times than she could count, had fallen asleep on Luna’s chest so many times at school. And now, as the Ravenclaw’s features were lit up by the light of the moon, Ginny looked at her soft pink lips, and couldn’t help but reach out and trace them with her thumb. Luna leaned into the touch, giving the Gryffindor a small smile.

Ginny leaned forwards, kissing her softly, feeling the hairs raise on her arms. This was nothing like kissing Dean, and nothing like kissing Harry. The room seemed to disappear around the two girls, and when Luna placed her hand on Ginny’s face, kissing her back, sparks seemed to fly around them. The redhead had never felt her magic as strongly as she did then, the tingle of it growing stronger by the moment as she pulled her best friend closer, their chests pressing together. Luna let out a little sigh when she did this, and Ginny was sure she would die right then and there, hearing that sound in this context. She pulled back, resting her head against the blonde’s.

“That definitely felt like a soulmate kiss.” Luna whispered, smiling brightly at her. Ginny giggled, amazed at how the night had taken a turn.

“Yeah, it definitely did.” She leant back down, pressing their lips together again.

“Gin, are you in here? The others are-” The attic door swung open, warm candlelight pouring in around the silhouette of Percy. “What in Merlin’s name are you doing?!” He squealed, taking in the sight of the two girls pressed together. They pulled apart, looking at Percy with wide eyes.

“Oh, Percy. Sorry, um, we were just-”

“You’re disgusting! What’s wrong with you?!” He stormed forwards, pushing Ginny away from Luna.

“Disgusting?” Ginny’s voice came out small, suddenly feeling ten years old as her older brother glared at her.

“And here I thought you were just best friends, but this?!” He shrieked, waving his arms around. “This is just unnatural. What are you, a lesbian?”

“I.. I don’t know. But it’s not, we’re not unnatural!” Ginny tried to keep her voice strong, but tears pricked at her eyes as the horrible words of her own family sunk into her skin.

“We’re soulmates, Percy. We love each other. I’m sorry if you can’t understand that.” Luna’s soft, calm voice carried around the space as she stood beside Ginny, lacing their hands together. “ I hope one day you can find-” 

“Oh do be quiet, you loony cow.” He spat, aiming his attention at her.

“I think it’s you who should be quiet, Percy.” George appeared  in the doorway, walking into the room. “I don’t know what is happening with our baby sister, but I do know any decent member of this family would show her the love and respect she deserves.”

“She’s gay! Are you going to come in here and tell me-”

“Yes. Yes, I am. And I’m sure every single person downstairs would agree with me. If Fred were here, he’d hex your bollocks off.” George used his few inches over Percy to lean over him, his voice firm. “She is our sister, it is our duty to try our best to love her, even if she does leave her dirty laundry everywhere.” He winked at Ginny, and she felt some of the tension leave her.

Percy shoved past George, storming down the stairs. Ginny opened her mouth to speak, but George held up a hand, a knowing smirk on his face. “Since this wasn’t a planned coming out, I’ll keep it to myself. But if you’re not downstairs in the next ten minutes, you forfeit your chance to play in the quidditch game.” He turned around, but just before he could disappear through the hallway, Ginny called out.

“Thanks, George.”

“No worries, Gin. At least I know you won’t be getting pregnant any time soon.” He chuckled at her mortified face before leaving with a salute.

“I do love your family.” Luna whispered dreamily, leaning her head on Ginny’s shoulders.

“Did you really whip out the soulmate card to Percy?” The redhead asked, shaking her head with a smile and she turned to face Luna.

“It’s true, though, my lovely stars.”

“Mmm, I suppose.” Ginny murmured, a twinkle in her eye. “My moon.” She added, before she kissed the blonde. She briefly wondered if things would change much between the two of them now, but realised that they already did everything that a normal couple would, except the sexual side. And if that’s what Luna wanted, Ginny would be more than happy to oblige. 

---

Requests open!

[taebinzdimples]

That Damn Headband

Kim Taehyung x Reader

Storyline: Your boyfriend Kim Taehyung is one of the vocalists in BTS. You’ve been dating since before he joined the group and nothing has made you more proud to call him yours. He comes home late one night from practice wearing nothing but a tight black shirt, his black jeans, and that damn headband. The same headband that made you get down on all fours for him last week.

Warnings: Smut. That’s it. That’s the warning. Oh and Dom!Taehyung. Oh, and a little surprise at the end!

Author’s Note: I have been having this damn obsession with Tae in a headband so I need to write this out before I forget. It’s also my first time ever writing anything like this so, hope y’all enjoy it!

—-

It’s been six years since you and your boyfriend Kim Taehyung started dating. You had to admit, the whole K-POP experience was definitely something you didn’t see coming, but you weren’t exactly against it either. In fact, it made you so proud to see your boyfriend on stage impressing the world with his beautiful talent. The talent you had always known since you were little.

You two never thought about dating because you grew up as childhood friends, but then you figured you owed it to yourselves go try, and six years later, it still felt as if it still the beginning of your newfound relationship.

It was easy being with Taehyung. The way he made you laugh, the way his box smile had you swooning, even the way he got a little pouty when he didn’t get what he wanted. So, it was easy to watch him do what he loved, and become such a sensation.

You got along with the other members well. It had caused a fight between the two you in the beginning when he thought that you were falling for Jimin. You managed to convince him that that was ridiculous and it ended up in make up sex.

Tonight was particularly draining for you. You were used to Tae’s busy schedule and you found your place within it. You didn’t mind. It made time for you to try and find new interests for yourself. Tonight however, you just wanted to be wrapped in Taeyhung’s arms and have him kiss you nonstop.

It was reaching 11:00 and you were yawning and trying to stay awake. The sound of keys jingling woke you up instantly. By the time you had sat up, Taehyung was in the door and your heart stopped.

He looked delicious. Absolutely yummy.

He was wearing a tight black shirt the hugged his body beautifully, accenting his chest and shoulders. His black jeans clung to his long slender legs. You liked tangling yours with them. And as your eyes panned up to his beautiful sculpted face, you saw it, the thing that drove you crazy when he wore it.

That Damn Headband.

You didn’t know what it was exactly that drove you nuts with lust when he wore it, but it turned you into a school gir who wanted the bad boy.

You thought it was stupid but at the same time, you couldn’t stop yourself.

“(y/n)?” Taehyung called out to you. It brought you from your thoughts and you looked at him.

“You’re wearing it.”

Taehyung looked confused as you slowly reached your hand up and touched the headband.

The low grumble of his chuckle sent a chill down your spine. You were excited as he set down his keys.

“I had practice. Of course I did.” He simply responded. He wore the cocky smirk on his face that made you want to turn away and leave him hanging. Only, you just stared and he knew.

“I thought you liked this one. At least, last week you did.” He said grabbing you and pulling you to him.

“I did. But that was last week.” You winked as you responded to him. You could feel his hands wandering over your body and it was doing things to your core that were absolutely indescribable.

“Then what’s it doing to you right now (y/n)?” He asked before tilting your head up and leaning down to kiss you. Your body was instantly on fire. The heat between your legs growing faster.

“Tae..” You whimpered and you could feel the smirk on his face.

“I’m right here baby.” He said before lifting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. He carried you to your bedroom and laid you down on the bed, his weight sinking you into the mattress.

You wanted this so bad. No, you needed this.

Before you knew it, your clothes were off and Tae was sizing you up in all of your naked glory. He liked seeing you that way. Naked and under his control. You didn’t mind it, you loved it when he dominated you.

“What do you want (y/n)?” He asked in a seductive whisper in your ear. Your body erupted in goosebumps and he liked that. You crashed your lips to his and all he had on was that headband.

He gripped your legs spreading them open as he ducked his head down and flicked his tongue against your clit. Your back arched in response as you let out a mean feeling him work his magic on you. It was glorious the way Tae’s mouth worked. The art of his tongue working you over, and over, and over-

“Don’t come.” You heard his voice command.

“But I want to.” You teased back.

That was the wrong response because you felt him stop and look up at you. “Do you feel like playing games tonight Kitten?” He asked you, his dark eyes showing a promise in them you didn’t know of.

“Yes sir..” You replied as he smirked. He got up going to your special drawer before grabbing a blindfold and some leather cuffs. You squirmed with excitement.

“Alright Kitten, lets play.” He said before pulling the blindfold over your eyes and cuffing your hands behind your back. You were on your knees fronts facing each other.

“If it becomes too much, what’s your safe word?” He asked you lightly cupping your cheek.

“Banana.” You smirked. You felt his hand wrap around your throat and squeeze as you let out a moan. “What’s. Your. Safe word?” He asked in a raspy voice. Your were shaking from the heat between your legs.

“Red.”

“Good girl.”

He kissed you before making his way down your neck and to your chest. He took a nipple in his mouth sucking roughly and you cried out in pleasure. “Tae!” You hissed as he smirked.

It only encouraged him to work his way down your stomach before making you lie back down and spreading your legs. Your breathing was ragged and you wanted to touch him. But you agreed to play, and when that happened, there was no stopping Tae.

“You smell so sweet Kitten. Just as wet for me as always.” He smirked before flicking his tongue with his clit again. Your body responded with another arch in your back and your toes curled. “Please Tae. I need you.” You whimpered.

“Always so eager Kitten.” He played with you. Stuffing his fingers in you as he lapped you up. The sensation was almost unbearable, but you wanted this. You needed more but he would keep holding out the more you begged.

—-

“Oh god Tae!” You cries out as he thrusted into you. His girth stretching you out while his length hit your sensitive spot every. Single. Time.

“Fuck (y/n)! You’re killing me!” He hissed. You were riding him and your hips were working him over mercilessly. He had made you come twice and you wanted to give him the same pleasure.

Every time you went back down you could feel him even more than the first time. Your head was back in pleasure and your hands were placed over his chest.

His hands gripped your hips roughly as you knew there would be bruises.

You didn’t care.

You needed him and you needed him badly. His head was back as the vein his neck stuck out. It was all because of you. Because you could to him what no other woman could.

You felt his cock twitch inside of you which meant he was close. “Come for me.” You demanded and he looked at you. “Is that an order?” He asked you keeping his pace.

You wrapped your hand around his throat and he smirked licking his lips. “Yes ma’am.” He replied before laying back and releasing inside of you.

“Holy shit (y/n)!” He cried out for you.

You both came down from your highs before climbing off of him and laying beside him kissing his chest.

“I love you.” You said softly to him before kissing his cheek.

He turned to his side before pulling you to him putting his forehead to yours.

“I have one thing to ask you (y/n).” He said softly as he ran his thumb over your cheek. You looked up at him, “What is it?”

“Will you marry me?” He asked as your heart thumped in your chest.

“I’m only going to say yes, because you look damn sexy with that headband.”

[chaoartwork]

Multivoid: Chapter 1

A fanfiction revolving around 2K, Palindrome and the alternate Zims in the aftermath of the Battlevoid arc.

Based on Invader Zim comic issues 46-49.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey. Um. Brother?”

“Sure! What is it, brother?”

“Uh...do you...um. Do you ever worry?”

“Worry about what?”

“Well heheh! Ofcourse it’s a dumb question. But um. Do you ever worry that maybe this won’t last forever?”

“Whaaat?! Come on! Ofcourse it will last forever! We can make it last as long as you want it to!”

“But wouldn’t you want to too?”

“....Hm. You know, that’s a good question. I always pondered about that. Im guessing you might wonder about that too.”

“Wonder about what?”

“Wonder which one you really are. Which one is the real you....Hey! I got a question for you brother! Let’s say we use to be someone. But an event occurred that made you become someone else. Someone grants you the second chance to be that person again. Will you take it?”

“Hmmmm. Not entirely sure. It really depends if my original self was better than what I am now:”

“Better in what way?”

“I don’t know. Superior? More flawless? I think.”

“You seem unsure, brother.”

“Eh I don’t know. Who knows? Maybe that original me was worse than what I am now?”

“In what way?”

“Mmm not sure. Maybe evil? Careless? Dumb? Pitiful?”

“Do you really think that’s what you were?”

“I guess so. You?”

“Mm. I’m not sure either.”

“I see....”

“....I know! Let’s play! Just like old times!”

“Like old times?”

“Yeah! Like hide-and seek! I hide and you have to look for me!”

“You expect me to look for you in an area this big?”

“Uh-Huh! But it will be different! You need to find someone to convince them to come find me!”

“I don’t think that’s how the game works. Shouldn’t I be the only one to find you.”

“Yeah but it’ll get boring. Besides! It’s nice to get to know someone! Even if there’s a chance they can be sketchy!”

“Brother, I’m not sure if that’s a safe idea.”

“Aw come on, trust me! I know you can do it!”

“Hm. Fine. How do I start?”

“Well...first, you have to wake up!”

��——————————————————-

Palindrome gasped a breath of water, his body violently shuddering for a few seconds as if it was springing back to life. Within a second after it happened, the heavy sensation rushed across his body. It felt as though he was about to dissipate again, but felt like his body was holding back from coming apart again. He felt his weak arms wrap around 2K as much as he could to which he timed on when he was going to catch him, making sure never to let him go.

He did not know how long he kept his eyes closed for or whether or not he really did knocked out, but few flashes of traumatic images from the battle swept through his mind for a split seconds, despite it feeling like forever and wanting to cry out on making it stop. He suddenly felt a soft nudge soon after. It felt warm and soft, interrupting the pain enough to relieve himself. Even if it was just a moment. The one who was nudging him felt small and round, having a bit of puffiness to them. He gulped down, hoping to have the strength to speak with his heart fluttering in hope on who it might be. He weakly flicked open his eyes again.

“T....2K....?”

 The blurry vision showed him what seemed like a pale blue figure instead of a light green as he had hoped. The vision slightly cleared up until he realized that the small being was softly hovering above him. The fish looking being had derpy eyes and squared buck tooth. What was that thing? Minimoose? No. That’s not his name. Why did he think that was his name? His name....is....

His breath stiffened from finally recognizing him.

“Mini....Miniwhale...? Is it really...?” He shakily reaches out, “Miniwhale...?”

“Nya,” the figure squeaked in a concerned tone and moved close in order to let him be able to rest his creator’s palm on the side of his body. Palindrome processed to make sure he really wasn’t hallucinating. No, he couldn’t be here. He just can’t. How could he have entered the Zimvoid? There’s just no absolute-

“”Nya?”

The fish Irken blinked.

“Wh...what are you...? What do you mean ‘where have I gone’? Why are you h-?”

He grunt from the unfeeling sensation rushing through his body returning, causing him to squeeze eyes shut and hug himself again.

“Nya?”

He found it impossible to respond to his subject this time, focusing more on fighting it back.

It took several seconds for it to ebb away, letting his body fully relax in exhaustion and breathe heavily.

“Nya!”

Yes I’m fully aware my bowl is very dirty thanks for reminding me at this time.

But he did not say that and instead respond weakly,

“Miniwhale. If it’s really you...please,” his eyes opened and trace back to him, “...help me.”

“Nya?”

He couldn’t tell him exactly what he needs help with. His body felt so useless that even speaking would easily tire him out. He can’t even look around the area because of how blurry his sight really was. There was really no telling when the horrible feelings were going to end. He felt like he could throw up at any moment.

“Nya...”

His heart melted by what the robot responded. He soon after started feeling him float down and nestle against his body. It made the unfeeling sensation grow numb again. He took a moment to process and choked up a bit, realizing how long it has been since he has encountered anyone close to him from his timeline. He gave out the strength to move his arm so he can rest it around him.

“Y-yeah....I missed you too.”

Miniwhale responded by nestling against his body more until he felt cozy against his creator. Palindrome wondered if he was doing this because he was trying to comfort him during the ill feeling or if it’s because he was embracing him after not seeing him for all those few months. It could maybe be both. Nonetheless, he felt his body start to shut down on him again. He wanted to beg his body so much on moving again. There was so much that he needed to know. What happened to the other Zims? What happened to the Elder? The Meat? Where’s that Zib? Where’s that alternate Dib?

2K....2K, are you still here? Did you come back too just like me? Why didn’t Miniwhale mention you or the others? Am I the only one who came back from....?

His eyes grew heavy until they closed shut to give into the unconsciousness.

...Where are you?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zim can be seen laying face plant on a messy table sleeping, his drools having covered half of it. He can be heard softly snoring.

“Sir. Sir.”

There was a moment of no response.

“Hellooooo. Sirrrrr.”

“Huh! Wah!” Zim  jumps awake with pieces of styrofoams stuck on his face and quickly glanced around his lab in wonder.

“Sir. School will be starting soon.”

“Wait.” Zim processed and looked up at the ceiling, “you mean now?”

“Yyyyup.”

“WHAT?!” He exclaimed, “why didn’t you wake me up earlier?!”

The computer sighed,

“Sir, I tried to wake you up for two hours-”

“Urgh! Forget about it,” he rubbed the pieces of styrofoams off his face, “I’ll do this later. Just don’t touch any of them!”

“I am aware of that, sir. You tell me this everyday.”

“Well it’s always good to be reminded,” he hopped off his seat. “Computer! Initiate my brilliant disguise!”

The tube shot down to cover Zim’s body. It then pulled back up to show him in his human disguise. He then walks over to the elevator and goes up to the living room, to which he can see Gir watching his TV as usual.

“Your in charge of the house, Gir. Make sure Minimoose doesn’t eat them again.”

“Okie dokie!” Gir said without even looking at him and changed the channel.

There was a likely chance he didn’t even listen, but not like Zim couldn’t do anything about it. He just continued on and left his home base, walking out to the usual casual days. Basically how it was everything day. Somewhat cloudy skies, some bird flying by with some of them often time hitting a house and getting knocked unconscious. The neighbor next door always screaming in order for their husband to clearly hear them. Boy does he love this planet. But it won’t be any better until he conquers it.

 He walked passed the neighborhood and through the streets until it took him maybe half an hour to get to school, many kids having already gone inside. He walked inside the school, went passed the halls, ignoring some weird kid who was in the locker calling out nonchalantly to let him out, and was able to go inside the classroom just as soon as the school bell rang. Dib can be seen apparently not glaring at him as usual, instead scribbling on a journal.

Zim squinted, wondering what he was up to this time.

“Zim.”

The Irken flinched and turned to see Ms.Bitters behind him.

“Take your seat. Class is about to start.”

“Uh, right! Yes, Ms. Bitters!”

He went and did as she told him. Again, the school seat feeling uncomfortable as always.

“Alright, class. Today, we’re going to-“

She turned to notice Dib scribbling.

“Dib. I really do hope your not trying to write out your plans on how to get to Zim’s ‘secret alien lair’.”

The class giggles by her comment.

“Uh, no Ms. Bitter. It’s actually something different.”

“Oh? Then you might as well either stop scribbling whatever creative fantasy you always have in that big head of yours or would you like to spend more of these dragging moments of class time telling us what it is your scribbling about.”

“It’s just...have anyone noticed the stars looked off today?”

“Stars?” One kid asked in confusion.

“Yeah! For example, last night I was checking my telescope to see if Zim’s kind arrived as usual and the stars looked very different. Like...very different. There seems to be a lot more in the sky and not to mention that most of them look to be bigger than the others. Has anyone noticed that?”

“Dib, none of us aren’t into those stargazing gizmos like you do.”

“Ofcourse there is, ask Zim! He always checks to see what his kinds are up to.”

 “Hey now,” Zim narrowed, “don’t get me into this conversation!”

“Maybe there might be meteor showers tonight?” One kid suddenly guessed.

“Oh I hope so!” One girl said, “I wish for a talking pony!”

“I wish for a kitten!” Another kid said.

“I wish to be singer!”

“I wish for a world’s finest pizza!”

“I wish to be a rock-“

“Well apparently wishing on a star is part of something out of a fairy tale,” the teacher interrupted. “In life, you won’t get anything unless you decide to work hard in getting it. Now that we’re back to reality, can I now continue this section?”

The class stayed quiet.

“Good. Now then, today we’ll be talking about the Schrodinger’s Cat theory. Can anyone guess as to what it is?”

—————————————————

The school bell rings. Kids screams in happiness as they run out of school and jump out of windows as usual. Zim walks out of the door mumbling.

“What kind of dumb question is that? Of course the cat is dead! Or alive. How can a cat be both dead and alive? that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. Dumb humans with their dumb logical sense-“

“You have something to do with it, don’t you?”

“Huh?” He turned behind him and saw Dib come out of the entrance and walk down the stair to approach him with a look of suspicions. Oh here it goes again.

“You’re plotting something, do you? Why are the night skies different tonight? Is it part of your next scheme?”

“Gee I don’t know Dib human,” Zim in annoyance, “why don’t you next time use that weak telescope of yours to see what these new stars actually are?”

“Because dad called me to go to bed before I could analyze it more. So tell me, Zim! What are they?”

“Ok first off, if they were really part of my next glorious plan, I would not tell you what they are. Second, I have not analyzed the galaxies in a while.”

“Don’t you check the galaxy every night? Like, to check what the invaders are up to and all of that?”

“WHAT?!” He exclaimed, “HOW DO YOU KNOW?!”

 “You one time complained about them doing something that was bugging you.”

“LIES! ZIM WOULD NEVER TALK ABOUT OTHER LESS SKILLED INVADERS!”

“Whatever, man. I guess I tend to forget that you’re not too active with your ambitions as usual.”

“That is also lies! Zim has become more ambitious with his great conquest to conquer your planet more than ever!”

“You mean by studying those things.”

“What things?”

“The packing pea-“

“I knew what you were talking about.”

Dib sighed and facepalmed.

“You spent the whole night studying them again?”

“They’re very important! I must know what their purpose really is!”

“Zim, you told me this for like what? The thirtieth time? And besides, what makes them so important? They’re just packing peanuts.”

YOU ARE WRONG STINK BOY! Those packing peanuts had much more potential than you should EVER know! Especially that one time!”

“One time?” Dib’s eyebrow raised.

“Yeah!” Zim smiled, “that one time when I-“

There were few seconds  of silence. Zim stopped smiling and processed.

“Ok, maybe they haven’t done anything yet, but I’m SURE they have a purpose. I just need to remember what it was!”

 “And how long exactly will that take?” Dib crosses his arms in annoyance, “you’ve been going on about it for a year now. Mostly because of that little ‘incident’. And it’s because of that incident that not only do you focus on them, you have been obsessed about them more and more.”

“And THATS because I am getting closer and closer to uncovering it’s purpose. Watch me, stink human...watch me! When I uncover the power of those styrofoams, you can no longer stop me! I will be able to conquer my planets with my BARE hands! Or feet, any of those can work.”

  Zim lets out a laughter before running off to the street. Midway, his maniacal laughter turns to a yelp of shock as a car can be heard honking in the distance and then crashing sounds are heard, with one woman screaming,

“Hey watch where you’re going, stupid kid!”

Dib stares off at the scene and sigh in annoyance.

“Of all supernatural I could be chasing, why does my main focus have to be him?”

[shadowofthelamp]

It's been hundreds and hundreds of years since Irkens haven't been cloned, Zim's super tired near the end, Dib needs to help him get up or move into comfortable positions, he's actually really worried he might lose his mate? His smeets? Thankfully all is well. (picturing Zim going to just start wandering into the woods/fauna of whatever planet they've stopped on at the time when he learns he's carrying four little smeets, hes in shock but gir finds him!)

Zim was exhausted.

He was exhausted a lot of the time, nowadays. Normally, irkens only had to power themselves into a sort of ‘sleep mode’ for about an hour every few days, but lately he’d been sleeping nearly half of what time he could count on the ship. (Dib slept about an hour a week, and usually only when his Pak started beeping irritably at him.)

Zim rubbed at his eyes, staring at the cables intermingling in the ceiling and picking out images in how they mixed. A muffin came from the heating cables, and a scalpel from the atmospheric processors where they crossed with the vents. One hand lay idly on his stomach, feeling the warmth bubbling beneath the skin where the eggs were incubating. They were stealing most of his warmth, the little brats, which was why he was currently wearing a sweater that Gir had “borrowed” from some alien Zim had already forgotten the name of at a diner on the last moon they’d passed.

He could hear Gir moving around outside the room. It was Gir because there were little ‘tings’ as his metal feet touched the tile- besides, Dib was usually in the lab or in the pilot’s seat.

“You better be worth this,” Zim warned with a poke at his middle. “You’re treating me unfairly- I’m the only reason you exist, and you reward me for making you with boiling my spooch?” His back hurt. There was a dip in the cot for his Pak and he was settled on top of pillows- handmade from snack bags with gel stuffed inside- but it still ached. He was sore all over, actually, and his head hurt, and what if he’d escaped only to die here because there was a reason they’d stopped breeding, or maybe Dib would just care about the smeet once he-

He slapped the speaker button next to the cot. “Dib!”

The speaker buzzed. “Mhm?”

“My brain is going in circles again.”

“Oh. Want me to come get you or can you walk right now?”

Zim sucked in a breath through his teeth, shifting so his feet were dangling over the floor. The wrappers crinkled as he moved, and he cautiously tested his weight. He was wobbly, but managed to take a few steps, even as he yawned. He’d slept for hours this time, he should be fine. Smeets walked within a few seconds of activation, he should be able to get to the lab. He was almost 100, after all, he was more than capable of outperforming a smeet.

He made it the ten steps to the door before he got winded, one hand bracing his lower back. How did the breeders do this in olden times, where they might go through it twice a year?

“Meet me in the middle,” Zim groaned, and he heard a ‘got it’ from the speaker before it fizzled to silence. He tapped his fingers over the curve extending in front of him. If they had been smaller, he wouldn’t be having this problem. Or if he was larger. The diagrams they’d managed to dig up seemed to say that usually taller breeders were the ones that had the smeets. From how achey Zim was and how heavy they felt in his hips, he saw why. 

He managed a few more steps, leaning heavily against the wall, before Dib appeared, sliding Zim’s arm over his shoulder.

“Lounge?” Dib asked, and Zim nodded, lips pressed tightly together. Together, they managed to slowly walk over to the side room full of more cushioned chairs. Zim sunk into the nearest one, letting out a sigh of relief. Dib pulled out his notebook, but Zim grabbed his wrist, tugging him down to squish in next to him. 

“Hey!”

“You have heat,” Zim said by way of explanation, before he leaned up and  nuzzled the side of his face against Dib’s cheek. Dib softened a little.

“Feeling cold again?”

“They’re taking my energy and my heat now,” Zim groused. “Pretty soon they’ll start taking my brain, and then where will I be?”

“Less likely to complain.” Dib tweaked the tip of one of Zim’s antennae playfully, but couldn’t help the storm starting to churn in his own guts. Even with as much as he slept now, the bags under Zim’s eyes were getting darker. They weren’t sure how much the genetic modifications done over the years during the cloning process would affect gestation time, so they had no real way of knowing how much longer Zim would have to deal with this. He already looked like he was reaching a limit. “If the reports we dug up mean anything, you only have about a week to go. Then we’ll have a few smeets here to entertain us. I’ve already got the Paks ready in case they come early, so you just need to rest.”

“Resting is so boring, though.” Zim scrubbed at his eyes. “But I’m too tired for anything else.”

Dib shifted- this chair really was only meant for one, not two and a half. Half of his butt was settled in what little remained of Zim’s lap. “How about at the next stop I see if I can scrounge up some video games?”

Zim perked up. “That would be good.”

Dib patted the top of Zim’s stomach, hoping that they weren’t making a mistake by letting this play out naturally instead of figuring out how to cut the eggs out. “Everything will work out.”

[zerolympiustrife]

A day (or a week) in the life of Jaune’s school life: Bleiss vs Pyrrha shenanigans!

Ah, so a quirky, stereotypical love triangle you’d see in a video game or anime.

Or Blake ships wars between the likes of Bumbleby and BlackSun.

Also, gonna involve events OUTSIDE of school if that’s okay with you.

————————————————————

Anonymous asks: Stiff Competition (RWBY)

————————————————————

*Teams RBBY and JNPR are at a movie theater, and Jaune is sitting next to Bleiss and Pyrrha*

Pyrrha (taking a piece of popcorn): Popcorn?

Jaune: Huh? Oh, sure.

*Pyrrha feeds him, Bleiss squints at her*

Bleiss (grabbing her drink): Drink?

Jaune: Sure.

*Jaune sips from her drink, Pyrrha gets annoyed by this*

Bleiss/Pyrrha (both grabbing a piece of their own candies): Candy?

Jaune: Sure…wait, wha-

*Both girls shove the candy into his mouth, but glare at each other doing so*

Ruby (internally): Can we please just watch the movie in peace…?

*Jaune munches and gulps down the candy, look at the two girls, who are now clinging onto his arms*

Bleiss (whispering): Let go of him, Pyrrha!

Pyrrha (whispering): YOU let go of him!

Stranger: Sssshhhhhh!!!

Jaune (sighing, internally): How the hell did I get Beacon’s two famous celebrities super attached to me…?

*7 hours pass as both Teams are back at Beacon to eat at Team RBBY’s for dinner*

Jaune (preparing to feast on a big bowl of noodles): Agh…I skipped out on lunch.

Bleiss (surprised): Darling! It’s not healthy to skip out on lunch!

Pyrrha: That’s right, Jaune! Here, let me help! *Scoops up some noodles and spoonfeeds him*

Jaune: Mmph! Mmm! *Gulp!* I-I can feed myself!

Bleiss (scoops up some noodles): Nonsense! Open up! *Spoonfeeds him*

Jaune (caught off-guard): Mmmph!

Pyrrha (scoops up more noodles and shoves it into his mouth): You gave him enough, Bleiss!

Bleiss (does the same thing as Pyrrha did): Look who’s talking, skank!

*Both girls continuously shove noodles into his mouth until it gets stuffed*

Jaune (mouthful of food): MMPH! MMMPH!! MMMMMPH!!!

Ruby: Can’t we eat like civilized folk?

Nora (spoonfeeding Ren): I have no idea what you’re talking about!

*Ren, who’s also spoonfeeding Nora, shakes his head in response*

*The next day…*

*Jaune is laying down in bed*

Jaune (groaning): Agh…love hurts…

Bleiss (wearing a nurse’s outfit): It won’t hurt for long, darling!

Pyrrha (also wearing a nurse’s outfit): That’s my line! What are you doing here?

Bleiss: I’m going to make sure my darling’s feeling better!

Pyrrha: That’s MY job. I’M his teammate, bitch!

Bleiss: Yeah, but that doesn’t make him your boyfriend, skank!

*Both girls hold up needles while glaring daggers at one another. Jaune notices how bad this situation could get, then immediately gets off the bed*

Jaune (gasping): What is this? I’m cured! Did I say I was in pain? I wasn’t in pain! In fact, your love gave me strength! *Grabs the needles and discards them*

Bleiss (fawning): Ah~! It’s a miracle! I love you, darling! *Hugs Jaune*

Pyrrha (hugging Jaune as well): I didn’t know love could truly cure wounds!

Jaune (laughing nervously): Ahahaha! Yep! Uh…ahahaha…sure did!

*3 hours pass as Jaune is lying down on a couch, reading a comic*

Jaune: Hmm… *Feels something shuffling on his hips* Huh?

*Jaune puts down the book and sees Bleiss sitting on his crotch, with her legs spread*

Jaune: …May I help you?

Bleiss (smiling): I just feel like sitting my boyfriend, is all.

Pyrrha (pushing her off): The hell you are! *Sits on his crotch*

Jaune (raising an eyebrow): Sheesh, Pyrrha! You didn’t have to push her off!

Bleiss (getting up angrily): Darling’s right, skank! You didn’t have to push me off!

Pyrrha (squinting at her): Actually, bitch. I did.

*Bleiss slaps her across the face, and Jaune’s eyes widen upon seeing this*

Pyrrha (holding her cheek): …Excuse me?

Bleiss (glaring at her): Off. NOW.

*Pyrrha takes a deep breath, cracks her knuckles, then leaps towards Bleiss as the two get into a fistfight*

Jaune (shocked): Girls! GIRLS!!! Enough of this!

Bleiss/Pyrrha (in unison): Not now, darling/Jaune! *Continue fighting*

Jaune (internally): Ugh…I don’t wanna say this, but… *Speaks up* If you two don’t stop right this instance, I’m killing myself.

*Bleiss and Pyrrha immediately stop fighting and cling onto Jaune*

Bleiss: DARLING NO!!!

Pyrrha: WE’RE SORRY!!!

Bleiss: Damn right you are, skank!

Pyrrha: Away with you, bitch!

*Jaune groans and facepalms*

Jaune: What can I do to get you two to stop fighting forever?

Bleiss: Be my boyfriend!

Pyrrha: No, be MY boyfriend!

Jaune: Why not both? Why don’t I date BOTH of you? Why don’t I give both of you lovely ladies the time of your lives?

*Bleiss and Pyrrha contemplate over this decision*

Bleiss: Hm…I don’t like this decision.

Pyrrha: But he doesn’t want us to fight.

Bleiss: …Hmph! Very well. Pyrrha Nikos, consider this an honor to be dating MY boyfriend, Jaune Arc!

Pyrrha: I could say the same for you, Bleiss Schnee. Consider this an honor to be dating MY - or should I say, OUR - boyfriend, Jaune Arc!

Bleiss (glaring): Good!

Pyrrha (glaring): Great!

Bleiss: I accept these terms, Nikos!

Pyrrha: So do I, Schnee!

Jaune: Girls, gir-

*Both girls kiss Jaune on his cheeks, causing him to blush like mad*

Bleiss/Pyrrha (happily): Treat us well, okay? Darling~?

[foamyphilosophy]

Character Profile: Zim

With a lot of games and shows coming out around things that are both popular and not very well known. I thought it would be fun to do a series around making a profile for notable characters of those series. Starting with everyone's favorite Criminally insane Ego Maniac Zim

Favorite color: Purple

Favorite Animal: Moose (sees them as powerful and intimidating creature)

Hated animal(s): Bees, Dogs, and monkeys

Favorite hobbies: Experimenting on Earth Lifeforms, shooting live chickens into orbit and running cars off the road.

Notable weaknesses: his skin combusts and burns when in contact with water but counteracts it by bathing himself in waterproof glue if he expects to be in contact with water. Seems to burn when in skin contact with processed meat (seems to be unique to him so it's possibly a unique Irken allergy but never explained)

History: Zim's past is a long and bloody one filled with a lot of intentional and unintentional death and suffering. It all started with his birth. Like all Irkens he was born in a test tube in a deep underground lab on his home planet Irk. He was then rushed to a Control Brain computer where his Cybernetic Life support system PAK was downloaded with all Irkens knowledge and Zim gave himself his name. Unsatisfied with the knowledge given he wanted more. Which the Brain could not give and Zim refused to leave. When another Orken newborn arrived Him got furious for being interrupted and tried to shove the child up the chute that they both arrived in. This caused a back up which caused an explosion and created what would infamously be known as the Day of Darkness when all power on the planet went out.

Later as a child in the Learning Facility underground Zim was bored of battle simulations and wanted to leave the facility before he graduated (which was forbidden by Irkens Law) he roped Scoodge an Irken smaller than him and is in only the loosest of term Zim's Friend. Being extremely gullible Scoodge agrees and trips every alarms along the way and Zim abandons Scoodge to get beat up by security robots and as Zim breaks free of the facility he sees Irks surface for the first time and declares to himself that in a society this incredible he will not only serve it loyally the entire empire will know his name. He was then dragged back down.

Later in life Zim worked as a military Scientist working on creating an Infinite Energy generator with assistance for scientists from their alien allies the Vortains. The purpose of It was providing energy to the new flagship for their leader the Tallest Miyuki but Zim got bored and in his free time created and Infinite Energy ABSORBING Monster. When this happened the monster ate energy from the Generator, grew to massive size, rampages around the facility and eats the Tallest before flying away.

Zim eventually manages to become an Elite Soldier along side Irkens Red and Purple. While listening to their newest Tallest Spork. It was at this moment the Monster Zim made in the past returned to Eat Spork before flying away again. At that moment Red and Purple were announced as the new Tallest Irkens being the same size and bigger than everyone else.

After this a trend occurred where Zim would accidentally cause mass devastation to every property own by the Empire. When the Galactic Conquest plan made by Red and Purple known as Operation Impending Doom happened Zim was selected as one of the qualified Invaders to take place in their beginning operations. Zim then got confused about where he was thinking he arrived on an enemy planet and started laying siege to it. Unfortunately the city he was destroying was the Irkens Capital city. He killed hundreds of citizens, destroyed much of the city and blew up every other Invader.

Immediately after that he was put on trial and reassigned as a Frycook and to be placed under the watch of the Irken Frylord Sizz-Lorr who runs the Food court planet of Foodcourtia. He worked on that planet in misery until he learned of a revival of the plan Zim signal handedly ruined now called Operation Impending Doom 2. Zim immediately left and went to the Convention Hall planet of Conventia where the assigning was set up. Arriving at the end he interrupts the Tallest much to everyone's horror and surprise that this walking Disaster is even there when he should be banished. Zim informs them that he "Quit being banished" when he heard the news. Realizing he wouldn't leave them alone until he got what he wanted they sent him on a fake mission to the edge of the known Universe hoping He's get lost and die trying to find a planet that doesn't exist, they even give him a robot assistant made of trashed parts claiming it's an advanced version named GIR. Zim finds a planet that no one has heard of after flying into the unknown for 6 months called Earth and assumes that the place. After finding out Zim managed to live they just pretend that's the planet and hope he stays there and leaves them alone.

Personality: Zim is an egomaniac and psychopath. He is incapable of self reflection and believes everything he does is perfect. He tends to associate himself with people with less respect, or of broken mind like Scoodge or GIR and loves the respect and love they give him and becomes visibly upset if they become discouraged but attempts to brush it off. Although he loves attention and praise he dislikes clingy people and attempted to murder a child who wouldn't leave him alone. He lacks any sort of subtlety but is lucky that he is on Earth where most people are gullible and willing to believe a lie as long as it makes them feel better.

Weapons and abilities: His PAK is his primary weapon as well as his Lifeline. All Irkens are implanted with an Egg Shaped machine to help aid their weakened respiratory system as a result of mass artificial creation of Irkens. It also is the ultimate Swiss Army knife with Spider Legs for increased mobility, a communication device, an organs transplanter and direct line to his base Comupter.

Minnimoose is a super weapon made by Zim created from illegally obtained weapons and parts thanks to his Vortian connection within the Vortian research prison (it helps that a lot of what Zim asks for from prisoner 777 also indirectly screws over the Irken Empire that betrayed the Vortain race to begin with) Zim got so caught up in designing Minnimoose that that he forgot to create an activation switch so it can't even do what it was intended to do although he found other uses for Minni.

Zim has an accelerated ability to heal although he can't heal lost limbs, he can heal perfectly from skin loss or damage as well as nerve damage. He once accidentally melted his eyes from staring at the sun too long. All he needed to do was wait a few hours and the skin on his eyeballs as well as any other damage was fixed.

The Voot Cruiser

Zim's personal ship. It's a standard fighter ship. Small enough to comfortably fit two average Irkens or two twelve year old Humans. It's a quick durable ship that can survive a crash from orbit with minimal damage. It has two plasma cannons on the front and two removable remote lasers for armor penetration on the side. It also has a tractor beam. It can also be remotely called to Zim's location

Notable allies: Vortian Prisoner 777, GIR, Minnimoose, Base Computer, occasionally Scoodge.

Notable enemies: Tak, Dib, Gaz on occasion, Sizz-Lorr, Bees, Santa, Halloweenies, Mall Cops, Alien Conspiracy theorists and scientologists.

[agentmothman18]

 Mistletoe

The next thing I post will be on Christmas.

As soon as October ends, it’s like Christmas floods everywhere. Completely skipping thanksgiving but not many people seemed to mind it. Thankfully the skool didn’t immediately start decorating, waiting until the actual month of December to start putting up the festive decor. By the second week of December, with only 2 more weeks before break, the halls were covered in everything Christmas.

Classroom doors competed to be the best decorated, lights hung from the ceiling and flickered in soft reds and greens and blues, and even fake snow lined the walls. More things like paper snowflakes hung from the ceilings as well, mostly just in the classrooms though. And just before the cafeteria doors, there was a small tree decorated accordingly. A majority of the students loved this time of the school year, but a few hated it. One being Dib, who mostly hated it because of the mistletoe strung from every door.

Why he hated that? Because even if he were to get caught underneath it, no one would follow the rules of it and kiss him. Even as a junior in hi-skool no one liked him, which was fine because the boy didn’t pay much attention to his fellow classmates. Instead, he perfected his skills of stealth just to avoid the possible humiliation of getting caught under one. They would make fun of him, he knew they would.

But while he avoiding the plant, a certain alien found himself getting stuck under the vile thing more than once. By lunch time, Zim was completely disgusted with how many filthy humans he’s had to smooch. He felt gross, like he’d rolled around in trash for hours. Of course, he sucked it up because going home now would mean trudging through snow that reached the middle of his shins. His legs weren’t covered enough to go doing that just yet so he was putting off going home until he could get Gir to possibly come get him. Which didn’t seem likely with how broken the bot was.

“4 times?” The human questioned, taking a seat across from the alien. When freshmen year started, they formed a truce. They kind of had to it felt, after the whole Florpus incident Zim was permanent stuck there with no mission. Naturally they still fought and bickered, but once Dib got over the whole thing, they grew closer. Their fighting was less intense and their bickering was more on the playful or enduring side.

“8 times. Filthy humans think it’s a game.” Zim hissed, crossing his arms and glaring at the others in the cafeteria. “I’m going to need a hundred showers just to rid myself of their filth.” That was a bit exaggerated but knowing Zim, he’d take quite a few. And instead of using his ‘special water’ as Dib calls it, the alien would be burning the first layer of skin off using normal water. That was the only way he’d feel completely clean, no amount of scrubbing would do the job.

“We still have 3 more classes so I imagine that’s going to triple by the end of the day.” Dib hummed, a smirk tugging at his lips. Teasing the alien was fun, but it was also the main reason they ever fight anymore. Zim doesn’t understand how to properly handle teasing and Dib could lay off but the human feels it’s worth it in the end.

Zim only growled at that, his glare turning towards Dib. “How many times have you done the plant kiss thing?” Zim watched as Dib started to count his fingers, the look on his face as he thought let on that he was just pretending.

“0 times thankfully. I’ve never been caught under a mistletoe and while at this school with these people, I don’t ever plan to be.” He informed, glancing around the cafeteria before resting his head in his hands and turning his gaze to the alien.

The Irken couldn’t say he was surprised, he’s seen how their peers treated Dib. However, he couldn’t help but be jealous that the other had avoided the plant so well. Zim would love to start the day over just to avoid the plant but all he could do now was try to avoid it until the end of the day.

And that didn’t work to well. While Dib seemed to have a free pass on no plant kisses, Zim was stuck every other doorway by them. It was infuriating and sickening, at one point during those last few classes, Zim was tempted to burn the whole skool down. A bit extreme but if it would stop the kissing it would be worth it.

However, when the end of the day did come, Zim learned his lesson and made it his mission to be the last one out of class. The thick snow and concrete steps covered in ice never looked so pleasing until now. It meant freedom and one step closer to that well needed acid shower. Of course he stayed under the awning, waiting for the taller human. He needed to complain about the stupid customs human had more, plus, Dib had a car so Zim was going to subtly try to get a ride.

“God, snow during the day is blinding.” Dib mumbled, blinking a few times at the new lighting. But he was happy to be out of the skool, the fresh air clearing his head and helping relax his tense muscles.

“Give Zim a ride home.” Very subtle. “I’m to disgusted with your kind to walk in that white water.” Dib snickered but decided to just do as told and not argue. Sometimes it was just easier that way.

Dib pulled his backpack off to dig around for his keys, glancing to the bottom of the steps where his sister stood. She was a freshman who still played away on her newer gameslaves. Plus, she actually had friends so it was a bit odd to see her waiting for Dib when she usually gets rides from her friends. “Where are your friends?”

“Busy.” Gaz paused her game long enough to look up at the two, a raised eyebrow when she saw Zim. “You’re taking me to Bloaty’s so hurry up.” As scary as ever, so Dib was quick to find his keys and threw his backpack over his shoulder. “Also, mistletoe.” She pointed above the two, turning on her heels and heading down the sidewalk to where Dibs car was.

The two watched her for a moment before both their eyes looked to the ceiling of the awning. Right between them hung an ugly mistletoe, bigger than the ones inside and just less neat looking.

“Revolting.” Zim hissed up at it, but he decided to make things quick by yanking Dib down time his level. He placed a quick, kind of harsh, kiss to the humans lips and then pushed him away with a disgusted look in his face. “One hundred and three showers.” He grumbled, marching down the steps and following after the purple haired demon. Ultimately leaving a very stunned Dib on the steps, red faced and frozen like a statue.

[saintheartwing]

Invader Zim: Dib is Happy

"You got in trouble again, didn't you?"

Dib sighed as he closed the book and looked up from his desk as his son entered the room, the black-haired, glasses-wearing professor of scientific studies tilting his head as his son entered the room, biting his lip, his antannae hung low over his back. The half-Irken, half-Human child cringed a bit as he poked his head further into the study, pictures of various galaxies and nebulae on the walls as the purple-eyed Irken smeet gulped.

"Uh...well..."

"Let me guess. The kids in school made fun of you again?" Dib asked once more, adjusting the glasses he wore as his son slowly inched into the study, wearing an old, familiar t-shirt. "You can't be like your aunt."

His son slowly sat down in a nearby chair, clasping his hands together as he hung his head, Dib's voice now much older, a little bit wiser, the years far kinder on HIM than on Zim, who's head was currently hanging over the desk against the wall, not too far away from Dib's massive bookshelf. Indeed, Zim's head might need some new stuffing, Dib thought to himself.

"When I was your age, I got into fights all the time too. And I wanted to lash back." Dib said, laying his hands in his lap as he hung his head, speaking softly and quietly as his son looked up, tilting his head slightly to the side. He waited. Waiting for Dib to speak, but then Dib lifted his head, his amber/brown eyes staring firmly into his son's.

"...well?"

"You thought I was going to say something else, didn't you? Thought I was gonna say "But I didn't lash back". Well, I can't say that, kiddo." Dib insisted as he shook his head, sighing as he held his head in one hand and cringing. "When I FINALLY managed to beat Zim, I was riding high. And I told Torque I wasn't gonna take any more of his s-t and he better apologize for all the times he stuck my head in a toilet. He struck me square in the face, broke my glasses. So I...well, now you know why everyone calls him "Gums"." Dib said with a slight smile. "Was PRETTY satisfying knowing he'd never eat solid food again."

"YOU did that?" His son asked, eyes widening in awe as they practically sparkled, clasping his hands together and beaming as Dib rose up and patted his son on the shoulder.

"Yep. But you have to be better than I did. Until you turn 16, then you can beat up whoever I want."

"Really?"

"No. But you can tell them they should be nice to you, because your tax dollars will be paying for their prison cell." Dib said with a smirk.

"Actually, I already did. It's why they kicked me in the crotch and I tried to scratch their eyes out." His son confessed nervously, Dib blinking in surprise.

"Oh! Who was it?"

"Samantha's son, Sammy."

"UGH. Samantha. She's still as stupid as she is pretty." Dib said, cringing as he shook his head back and forth as he led his son out of the study, down the long mahogany hallways of his mansion as they reached the living room, Tak the Irken waiting for them, looking up from the couch as he grinned. "But she's nowhere near as pretty as my wife." He chuckled, Tak pausing "The Scary Monkey Show" and sauntering over to him, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him deeply.

"You're watchin' the Scary Monkey Show?" His son asked, blinking in surprise. "Oooh! What episode is it?"

"You can watch it if you want. Your father and I are just gonna be here in the living room, talking about how much we WUB each other." Tak said with a sly smile, their son going "BLECHH" as he exited the room, heading up the spiral stairway in the center of the living room, up to his own room as Tak gave Dib a playful lick over the cheek. "Heh. Always works."

"It's our anniversary, and I got you a little something I want to show you." Dib said as he gave her a grin. "...I can't RETURN it." He added as he and she laid down on the couch, Dib stroking her curled antannae, enjoying the soft feel of the antannae in his hands, the feel of her purring from their touch as she softly inhaled at each stroke.

"Ohhhh...oh, yes, yessss..." She whispered. "Reminds me of our first date."

Indeed. Dib remembered it well. The soft smell of freshly roasting meat. A lovely barbeque as the moon hung high in the sky, stars twinkling overhead as the wind blew against their skin. Dib strummed away on a guitar, smiling seductively at Tak as they laid together in chairs on the private beach.

"See? It's the perfect kinda night for this sort of thing." Dib had said with a smile. "Want me to play something?"

"I don't know too many songs." Tak confessed. "Well, I do know ONE Earth song." She added. "That variation on Joy to the World?"

"Ahhh, well, in that case..." Dib nodded before he began to play upon the guitar, fingers flying over the strings as the lovely roast continued to twirl about. "Joooooy to the woooorld! Our rival's deaaaaad! Let's baaaarbequuuue his heaaaad!"

"WHY NOT?! YOU'RE ALREADY ROASTING THE REST OF ME!" Zim screeched out, his naked form still tied to the stick as he was slowly tuned over the bonfire over and over as Gaz kept cheerily twisting him around and around, humming happily to herself as she held it with one hand, the other nonchalantly playing a new Game Slave cartridge Dib had bought in exchange for her help.

"Pssshhh. Whiner." Gaz remarked.

"Yes. Only without Zim's tremendous screaming." Dib remarked. "God, I miss the screamin'." He sighed sadly, shaking his head back and forth. "But still...we've got a special night, just the two of us." He said, leaning in, kissing her tenderly as she began to undo his pants.

"I'm just so glad I stayed with you." Tak admitted quietly. "I've never been happier."

"Yeah. Me..." Dib smiled softly. "Me too."

He sighed.

"Okay...turn it off."

Tak blinked. "Wh...what?"

"Turn it off. I know it's not real. Get it over with."

And just like that, Dib was now getting pulled out of a strange, VR-helmet-esque device, GIR taking off the black device from Dib's large head. Something Dib didn't even object to! He just sighed as he looked at the little blue-eyed robot as it stared up at him, holding the odd, helmet-esque thing as the silver robot blinked stupidly.

"Really, GIR? Another one of Zim's plans?" Dib groaned, taking off his glasses and cleaning them as he shook his head back and forth.

"GIIIIIIIIIIIIR!" Zim's voice rang out from down the hall of the laboratory, Dib blinking as he saw the angry Irken storm in, ruby-maroon eyes glowering darkly at GIR. "GIR! Why in Irk's name were you testing out my new Delusionator on the Dib?! I wanted to test it out on the stupid happy child first!"

"So...you didn't plan this?" Dib asked of Zim as GIR shook his head.

"I wanted to do this for you, big head boy." GIR said gently, smiling softly at the kid, Dib somehow STILL not even caring about that comment.

"Why?" Dib asked, frowning a bit, his face full of confusion.

"You always seem so...unhappy." GIR said, frowning a bit as he shook his little head back and forth. "Every time you and Zim fight, you tend to win so much, yet...the next day when we see you, you're always frowning and looking sad. Beating mastah never seems to bring you joy. I thought you were probably the saddest person I've ever met, so...so I just wanted to see you happy for once." The little robot confessed, tapping his tiny fingers together, biting his metal lip as he hung his head.

"Frankly, Zim is amazed you learned it was all fake!" Zim said wtih a frown, folding his arms over his chest as he harrumphed. "How did you see through the ingenious nature of the Delusionator!? Zim designed it to be flawless! How did you learn it wasn't real?"

Dib hesitated, and then...

"I knew it wasn't real because I was...happy. That's how I knew it wasn't my life. I could never really be that happy." Dib said softly, Zim blinking stupidly in surprise, GIR's face falling as Dib quietly rose up, heading down the hall and going towards the elevator at the far end, entering it and pressing the button for the first floor, intent on heading out to Zim's house and to go back home, his final words ringing through the laboratory, heavy, quiet and sad. "I've known I'm not meant to be happy...for a very long time now."

Author’s Note: This was just a sort of random idea I had. Sometimes you just want to read a sad thing. 

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Oh man. I could speak at length about weird people I've known or met. Let's go!

There's a guy who frequents our downtown square who looks like hardcore biker with a leather vest and has a squirrel on a leash with him at all times... also wearing a leather vest.

At an random intersection a few blocks from my new home, a young man in a suit and a tiger head sits on the corner playing keyboard; he won't accept any tips but will occasionally go to people's doors in the area for batteries for the keyboard, everyone knows and always gives him snacks and drinks along with batteries which the entire neighborhood keeps onhand for him.

My brother is possibly the most unusual person I know in terms of thought process. At 13 he randomly changed his full name, which he legally adopted at 18. Yes his last name too. That year, he went trick or treating in a black trenchcoat and fedora, when asked he said he was a coffee bean farmer. In his first year of high school he was infamous for weird shit he did, such as having people duct tape him to the massive courtyard tree then claiming to the school authorities that he did it to himself. As a young adult he played extremely expensive pranks on our father, such as moving all the living room furniture out, laying down sod over the tile, and putting all the furniture back then fucking off somewhere. I'm still unsure why Dad allows us to have keys to his house. During that period he also had a coworker who tried to put moves on me & wouldn't take no for an answer, so for nearly a month the receipts at their place of work said "Thank you for shopping at [coworker's] mom."

Hell Dad is weird. Any time he is asked his name or has to introduce himself he replies with "There are those who call me... Tim." As you can imagine he quotes Python constantly, even made a game based on the bridge scene from Holy Grail when we were little, & spoke Klingon for a solid chunk of my life. For an entire year, he spoke like Zim after I showed him the series Invader Zim. For 6 months he spoke like the Monarch after I showed him Venture Bros. He still does both randomly & if he does The Monarch when my brother is around, they both speak like The Monarch for hours. If I ask who did something, my dad's response will always be Gir's "It's me! I was the turkey all along!" He also used to wake up every morning to make us breakfast before school & it was always Nuclear Waste Oatmeal (green with gummy bears) or Biohazzard Pancakes (basically crimes scenes in pancake form) or some other ridiculous thing. Before I was born, he played and toured in an 80s hairband that looked like they wished they were Def Leopard. On tour they used to turn on Telenovelas, each pick a character & then watch on mute making up the lines. He currently plays bass guitar for a band with some guys the electrician his work uses knows in the electrician's barn for his horses.

My mom is schizoaffective but even medicated she believes she has psychic powers, worships Ancient Egyptian deities alongside Ancient Greek deities & Ozzy Osborne. She believes she is an incarnation of Diana, goddess of the moon, simply because she's named Diana. This is her lucid state, mind you. Unmedicated (which is 85-90% of the time) it gets so much weirder in a worrying sort of way.

My daughter at 8-10 would only answer to Pizza Steve and introduced me to her teachers as Pizza Steve Sr. Her birthday cake for 2 yrs running said Happy Birthday Pizza Steve.

My bf is a middle school art teacher who gives him self tattoos, sometimes of his students' art. Some are poke and stick, some are with a legit tat gun. He runs a Facebook account in which he is a guy that lives in the creek behind our house with his dog. He has spent the last 3 years (unbeknownst to me until rather recently) telling his students lore about a witch he knows that lives deep in the woods... he's talking about me. He had to be out of school for a week early in the year & asked me to help make up things to tell his students about why he was gone. He told each class a different thing. These things included being kidnapped by a family of bears, pissing off "the witch of the woods" & being turned into a tree (punctuated by a very serious "Do you have any idea how hard it is to photosynthesize?!"), and being trapped in the other art teacher's basement (because when kids asked her where he was, that's what she told them).

I run a reddit account that periodically preaches the gospel of OpossumJesus when asked about my username (because our marsupial lord and savior isn't pushy in his teachings). My normal clothes cause random children to point & say "Look mom! A witch!" I do a lot of arts and crafts. Like a concerning amount. Many with ethically sourced animal bones. I make botanical skincare products custom for people with random skin stuff (like my friend with a rare severe type of psoriasis on her palm & my daughter's dog who has hardcore allergies that make her chew her paws raw). 90% of the kids my daughter has been friends with or dated over the years have stayed in touch with me. I bake when I'm stressed or upset; when a dude broke up with me (because after 9 months he finally realized i wasn't fucking around when I said I wasn't having more kids) I baked an elaborate 2 layered cake decorated with a uterus with a sad face that said "Sorry my uterus is broken & so are your ears" then delivered it to his roommate since he wasn't home. He was less than pleased but... his roommate was delighted.

There's almost always a person in town with a van painted like the Mystery Machine. The one when I was growing up was driven by a dude who looked like Shaggy & always had a giant Scooby plush as the copilot.

We have a local Spiderman who does tones of charity stuff, along with our local deadpool.

In high school i knew a kid who was considered "hard" and sold drugs. Every other day, before he went to gym, we'd meet up so that I could put the kitten he carried around in his bag into my hoodie for a class period. The first time it meowed in class, people around me immediately claimed it was them & every time after, they would all spontaneously start meowing too. For the weird goth girl in a Texas high school who was constantly reading, I was very well liked by a multitude of classmates in various groups.

I used to know a group that would bar crawl together. The designated dressed as Ash Ketchum & everyone else wore pokemon onesies. When it was time to go, if the designated was missing a pokemon, the bar would let them get on the PA & say "[Missing pokemon] I choose you!" And the missing one would scamper over, pay their tab, and leave with the group.

In my early to mid 20s, I used to be drinking buddies with a grizzled old man who went by Bone Doggie & had an amazing band. (See below) Sadly they broke up awhile back. Fun fact: for awhile they had a bassist who looks exactly like my dad's little brother who plays standing bass in the Ft Worth Symphony Orchestra & went on to do comedy type music.)

I'm sure I know plenty of other weirdos but this is just off the top of my head.

Fiction is disappointing in its portrayal of…people’s weirdness. Just how weird people really are in real life.

So many books have all their characters be incredibly normal and I’m like ????? You guys can go outside and not run into someone who is even slightly strange? Or act like “quirks” are only for characters who are explicitly supposed to be eccentric instead of just…people being people.

like, my neighbor sunbathes in his driveway in his underwear and builds coffins in his spare time. My OTHER neighbor just sets things on fire whenever he needs to relax so at random times he’ll be out burning his deck furniture or something. I knew a guy in high school who woke up every morning at 3am and could lip sync flawlessly to every veggietales song. I knew a girl who collected hand sanitizer and wore bright, glittery green eyesore alligator earrings after she got her ears pierced. our family friend back in Tennessee owns six pugs and an unbridled pug obsession. My brother (13) aspires to be a hobo and calls himself Moped the Cheapskate. My grandma reads ya novels (she loved six of crows btw), determined that she was a ravenclaw through the internet, is responsible for me learning my first curse word, and flips off trump when she’s watching him on TV. one of my high school friends was a conspiracy theorist who did intense research about chemtrails. a member of my squad when I was like 14 was referred to by us only as Poodle. the guy who taught my public speaking class in high school moderated a doomsday prepper forum and would talk wistfully about how he would like a bunker. I used to work out with a guy who worshiped Thor smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt. today my best friend literally just ate dirt while we were hanging out and I can only be just like “whatever, he eats leaves, the little packets that say do not eat, and food off the floor of restaurants, how could a little dirt hurt him?” because that’s just what he does he just…eats things

The sad thing is that almost everyone I know would be The Weird One if they were part of the cast of a book?? But it isnt weird to be weird or eccentric or the opposite of normal. people are just…that way. books drop any somewhat unusual quality as a marker that a person is “eccentric” and I promise you can’t make your characters too weird

Because I write down people that I meet and hear of: my dad met a lady at his work who claimed to be psychic and talked at length about how ghosts would watch her shower (“I hope you like what you’re seeing!” she would tell them) and about the ghost-seeing party she was planning. He talked to a woman who was a sonographer and who had an enormous tattoo of a dragon all the way up her leg and thigh. “Organs move. Babies don’t,” was her wisdom. He met a guy with a phobia of glitter. People are weird. There’s no excuse to make stock characters and people who are average and without quirks. To me it just makes them seem undeveloped because EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING.

People are just weird. let them be weird pls