#time for a bit of a screenshot dump

[overgrownbuilds]

[thanksvideogames]

vesperia screenshot dump no.4: i beat the game edition :)

check img descriptions for thoughts and context

[avirael]

(above screenshot taken by Khian)

The Mother Tree

Rael had grown accustomed to the Forest Sanctuary very quickly. No, in fact it had felt familiar from the first second. They had never seen this place before and yet it felt like home. The sanctuary was a vast area filled with lots of different places connected by serpentine, hidden paths, and yet Rael had no issue whatsoever to find their way in this maze. The place still filled them with endless wonder but at the same time it was as if they had walked these pathways a million times before.

Their training with the oracle had so far not consisted of any powerful magic spells like Rael had expected, but instead of a variation of different meditation techniques as well as training their awareness of their surrounding, the animals and plants, Golmore itself. The raven Frelsi had been Rael’s constant companion and training partner these last few weeks, always somewhere close or hopping back and forth between the oracle and Rael.

So it had been that morning too. As Rael had left the small room they had been given - a tiny wodden cabin that seemed partially grown and partially built with a translucent green roof on top - Frelsi had already perched on one of the branches nearby and fluttered over with a happy caw. Rael had raised and arm for the raven to land on and had obediently scratched the birds head with a smile.

One of the guardians had left breakfast in front of Rael’s door - clear water, some fruits as well as a piece of bread and some honey. As usual the benefactor wasn’t visible, just like the guardians were rarely to be seen at all. Rael would have liked to thank them and wondered if one of them was watching right now. “Thank you.”, they said gratefully, sat down in the grass in front of their cabin and ate while Frelsi curiously observed them. Once again Rael wondered what the raven was thinking and tried to feel it’s intentions just as the oracle had tried to teach them the other day.

“What do you want? Food?”, Rael asked none the wiser after a moment and first offered the raven a small slice of apple before trying a crumb of bread instead as the bird tilted its head with a clicking sound. But that didn’t seem to be right either. Instead it fluttered up to Rael‘s shoulder and snuggled up to the side of their head. “You know, I have more important things to do than cuddle you all day, right?”

The raven protested loudly and proceeded to make itself comfortable on Rael’s shoulder as the Viera finished their breakfast. Absentmindedly Rael ate the last slice of apple while raising their face to the sun shining down onto the small clearing from above. With closed eyes they breathed deeply. The air here was wonderfully fresh and clear while at other places in the sanctuary it could be heavier, with more mossy or floral scents.

Rael tried to let their mind wander, focusing on their surroundings, just as the oracle had instructed. Slowly they began to feel the warmth beneath the grass that tickled at Rael’s palms and bare feet. With every day they got better at feeling the energy flow through the forest, from the ground, through the tree trunks and branches up to the highest leaves of the jungle. It felt like a network of glimmering golden streams that connected all life to one another. Peaceful yet lively, in perfect harmony. Rael tried to feel where the flow was directed and find the biggest vein in this spiderweb of energy.

Slowly they stood up, curled their toes into the grass and hesitantly turned this way and that before finally deciding on a path. With slow careful steps they started walking, leaving the clearing behind and following the golden streams to where the energy seemed strongest. It was not a straight path but instead lead them in turns and loops through different areas. Quite some time Rael wandered through the forest, seemingly without aim, wondering if this idea was going to lead them anywhere at all, when suddenly they emerged from a thick layer of trees and found themself standing in a familiar place.

It was the big circular glade surrounded by ancient looking trees with white bark and colorful leaves, where Rael had met the oracle for the first time. The pavilion at the small pond in the middle of the meadow lay empty this time, the oracle nowhere to be seen. This place already had an aura of great importance the first time they had been here but now Rael could feel that all the energy streams seemed to lead to this place.

Rael was not sure if they were allowed to be here at all but nonetheless stepped onto the glade and followed the golden streams to the opposite side. There all of the energy lines met at a point where a particular tall tree stood. The white tree was covered in heartshaped leaves in all hues of gold and amber and its trunk was so wide that it would probably take at least a dozen people to surround it once. Its massive roots peaked out of the ground in uneven curves and stretched out in all directions. It looked incredibly old and powerful.

Frelsi, who had so far preferred to be carried around, cawed and took flight. In wide circles the raven ascended around the tree and Rael followed it with their eyes and watched it land on a strong branch far far upwards. In awe Rael stared at the wide canopy and listened to the rustling of the leaves. Suddenly it seemed like hundreds of voices were whispering in their ears at once and Rael felt the urge to reach out and put a hand on the colourless bark.

When they did the pure amount of magic they felt made Rael gasp and shiver at first. Then however they realised that the tree with all the life running through it actually felt warm beneath their fingertips. It was strangely calming and familiar feeling. Slowly Rael closed their eyes and focused once again on the energy cursing back and forth and suddenly it was as if they were elsewhere entirely.

One moment they flew through the forest on large wings looking down at a band of Wood-Warders, the next they stalked through the thicket hungrily observing through slitted pupils a bunch of soldiers clad in metal armors.

What was this? Different places in Golmore? How did it work?

Rael wondered if they could willingly see whatever place they wanted and tried to focus on a thought. After a moment it was a if they blinked and suddenly crouched in the corner of a tidy wodden house, feeling incredibly small in comparison to the furniture. With surprise Rael squeaked as they in fact recognised the room and more importantly the woman standing by the fireplace. It seemed impossible but this was without doubt their mother.

Abruptly the scene changed again as Rael felt a presence approaching them in the corner of their mind. At once they looked down from a tall tree of white and gold over a shiny black beak and saw themself standing between the tree roots. They were too transfixed by the strangeness of seeing themself from outside their body that they didn’t realise there was a person approaching them until a voice spoke behind them.

“Now focus your mind on the future instead of the present.”

Shocked Rael whirled around, the connection instantly lost. Somewhat dizzy they stared at the small viera in front of them and suddenly felt caught. Their milky white eyes looked eerie and expressionless and Rael was never quite sure if they looked at them or were focused on something else entirely.

“Hello Rael.”, the viera spoke softly.

For a few more seconds Rael just stared, finding it strangely difficult to form thoughts and to speak them out loud.

“Hello Green Oracle.”, they said unsure how to properly address them and found their own voice sounding weirdly unsteady. “I am sorry... I don’t know if I should be here…”

But instead of scolding them the oracle smiled gently. “Where else should you be? And please, call me Kelta.”

“What did I just see?”, Rael suddenly blurted out and hesitantly looked over their shoulder.

“Come, child. Let us sit down and I will answer your questions.”, the oracle offered and led Rael to the pavilion, before beginning to explain. “This is the Mother Tree. It is the oldest tree in this forest and the heart of Golmore itself. It also provided the nectar you drank that day you arrived here.”

Rael understood the words but it did little to explain to them what they had just seen. Almost like asking a question they said, “I was in different places just now…”

The oracle nodded. “At least your mind was, yes.”

“How is that possible?!”, Rael didn’t intend to sound upset but suddenly their heart was racing in their chest. As if it felt Rael’s nervousness Frelsi swooped down from the giant tree, landed on the floorboards of the small pavilion and hopped onto Rael’s lap. As the raven made itself comfortable and Rael visibly relaxed too, the oracle smiled.

“Let me answer with another question. Why did you touch the tree?”

Slowly Rael explained how they had noticed the energy streams in front of their cabin and had followed them all the way here. How the tree had whispered to them and the things they had seen as they had touched it.

“You were talented before but now that you have chosen your path you are even closer connected to the forest and every living thing in it. Golmore’s energy enhances your abilities. It can guide you, if you let it. Just as you now looked at different places, with a bit of practice you will be able to catch glimpses of the future. The magic of the forest can boost your vision but soon you will be able to use your talent without the help of the Mother Tree.”

The whispers of the forest had been nothing new to Rael but in this intensity and with the visions added to them it still felt a bit much. Rael didn’t know what they had expected but it occurred to them that with such skills as the oracle suggested there was no need for powerful spells if you could foresee any trouble stirring in the jungle before it even appeared and prepare counter-measures accordingly.

But why were they still struggling to keep out the invaders then? Or was this the only thing that allowed the Rava and Golmore to fight back so efficiently and slow down the attempts to conquer the forest?

“But how can I learn to use these powers willingly?”, Rael asked instead, eager to learn and take part in keeping their home safe.

“Patience and practice.”, the oracle explained. “First you need to learn calming your mind. The fact that you were able to follow the energy here without help is a good first step. But focus will also help you control your visions. As long as there are other things occupying your thoughts, it will be difficult to unfold your full potential and control your powers.”

Rael understood what the oracle said but wasn’t their mind already fully focused on their task and their training? There had to be more to it than this…

The confusion must have been visible on Rael’s face or maybe the oracle had simply read their thoughts. Somehow Rael suddenly thought that this was not impossible.

“What I am trying to say is this: You are still only seeing with your eyes and hearing with your ears most of the time. But there is so much more… For example: Tell me, how many people or animals are nearby at the moment?”

Rael was aware this had to be a trick questions. With a bit of uncertainty they scanned the glade for animals, the treeline for Rava and the branches for birds, without seeing any. “Just the raven and us?”

A little smile appeared on the oracle’s face.

“Now try again. Close your eyes like you did earlier but instead of only focusing on the energy lines take a look at how me and the raven look to you in this network. And then try to find similar appearances in the surrounding.”

Rael did as they were told. Seeing the energy streams was easy enough here since there was so much of it in this place. With the massive glow of the giant tree outshining anything else, focusing on people and animals was harder. There was something for sure but it seemed less solid, somehow fleeting like fog. Colorful swirls of energy, in the oracle’s case a powerful glow of the same golden shine as the energy lines and for Frelsi a weaker and more bluish aura.

Slowly Rael tried to extend their awareness to a wider area and at first there was nothing but the bright golden spiderweb of trees. But then in one tree to their left they noticed another bluish swirl not much different from the raven’s. Eyes still closed their raised one arm and pointed towards it, “I think there is another bird over there.”

“Mhm, a few actually… what else?…”, the oracle’s voice encouraged them to continue.

After a moment Rael felt something else at the other side of the glade. “There’s something a bit taller and more greenish over there…”

Without looking to where Rael was pointing the oracle replied, “This one is a deer. Any more Viera except us?”

With this Rael struggled for a few moments and in the end it was only a guess based on size alone. Their colors were different from the oracle and also from each other but Rael could not think of any other creature of this size. “Three ones? Spread out in different directions.”

“Four. You’ve probably missed the yellow aura to the north.”, the oracle corrected. “And also a badger to the east, the more brownish one.”

Rael had missed them since their colors blended in easily with the golden energy lines but now that they knew they could distinguish them clearly. “Yes, I see them…”

Pleased the oracle nodded. “This was very good for a first attempt. I think it took me at least a few months to learn this.”

Surprised Rael opened their eyes and looked at the other Viera’s face. The oracle seemed so omniscient and powerful, it was hard to imagine that they had needed to learn all of this too at some point.

To be honest Rael had spent quite a while thinking about how old and powerful the oracle might be, how long it would take to reach their level and how it was possible that the two of them were here at the same time. They certainly looked similar and it also felt somehow like they had always known each other, so much was hard to deny. But it seemed impossible for Rael to be a reincarnation of someone who was still alive.

“If you have any questions, feel free to just ask.”, the oracle offered, apparently sensing Rael’s curiousity.

As if they had just waited for such an invitation, Rael asked the first thing that came to their mind. “I am supposed to take your place, right?”

The oracle shuckled. “Yes, but don’t worry. I am not going to drop dead any time soon. At least not before I‘ve made sure you are ready to take my place.”

Rael’s brows furrowed. Something about this seemed wrong.

“And the oracle gets reborn among the Viera time over time again, right? But how can both of us be here at the same time then?”

“Ah, I was wondering when you would notice…”, the oracle said and paused for a moment. “The truth is that there is not one but two of us.”

“Two oracles? Why?”, Rael asked. Maybe it was a silly question but it somehow seemed to them like it would make their existence less unique, less special, if there were more than one of their kind.

“There has always been two of us.”, the oracle simply replied unbothered by such doubts. “If one dies, the other waits for their reincarnation to appear and teaches the new oracle how to use their powers, so that one day the student might do the same in return.”

“Do you remember the oracles before you?”, Rael asked wondering how they were different from each other. Kelta and Rael looked almost identical, Kelta’s hair was longer and maybe they even looked slightly younger than Rael, but their characters seemed different enough.

“Only the one who trained me.”, the oracle explained and almost grinned. “You remind me quite a lot of them. Always so serious…”

“I‘m not--…”, Rael wanted to protest but felt that it might be disrespectful to disagree. Instead they embarrassedly looked down remaining silent and scratched Frelsi’s head.

“I apologise, this was not nice. I realise we barely know each other…”, the oracle admitted and put on a friendly but more distanced face again.

It made Rael feel bad to have discouraged them just as they were beginning to speak more openly, not just in their role as oracle but more like an individual person for themself. Rael also still had so many questions, so they tried to keep the conversation going. “Is it okay if I ask what happened to your teacher?”

The Oracle nodded.

“Mjara died I think around eighty or ninety years after they started training me. Yes, I’m sorry that’s about as long as you will have to listen to my instructions…”, the oracle - Kelta - joked with a dark sense of humor. “Now they rest below the roots of the Mother Tree, as most of the former oracles do.”

Rael had not expected this. As if there would be anything to see, they glanced over their shoulder at the large roots of the white tree and tried to imagine how many viera might lie buried there. It still looked exactly the same as before and yet suddenly Rael felt like staring at their own grave.

“Most of the former oracles? What about the rest?”

“For you this may feel new and special but you are not the first one to leave the forest. We watch over this forest since thousands and thousands of years and cases like this happened a few times already…”, Kelta explained.

“And not all of them returned?…”, Rael added to the sentence and wondered if this fact was a bad omen for their own journey, which still lay ahead of them.

“No… I assume some simply failed at their tasks and were killed. Who knows, maybe some didn’t dare to return with the shame of failure or decided that the outside world was more to their liking…”, Kelta pondered for a moment before their gaze returned to the massive tree. “But every oracle for whom this was possible was laid to rest right here. Their souls returned to the circle of rebirth and their bodies nurturing the Mother Tree, who in return will forever grant us access to our full powers, so that we might protect Golmore from all harm.”

In a way all this information was a bit much at once and at the same time Rael’s mind swirled with more and more questions. It would take a while to answer all of them and let it all sink in.

Disillusioned Rael understood that while they always had thought themself so smart, talented and special, in reality they had barely scratched the surface of everything that was still to learn and to know.

They had come here as a selfish child, looking for answers. Trying to find the place where they belong, trying to find out who they truly are. Slowly Rael realised that the path they had chosen put a heavy responsabilty on their shoulders. This was more than a prophecy, more than a riddle they needed to solve. This was about who they would need to become.

More than a magic-gifted child, more even than a powerful seer.

A guardian.

Lifes would depend on it.

[frick-it-sugar-spice]

i stayed up wayyy to late drawing again oops

[nothatsmi]

Haikyuu S1 screenshot redraw doodle dump! (part 1)

These were so fun to make. I'll upload more.

I do this thing where I screenshot quite literally everything in this, which is both very useful and fun - and a bit creepy cause my screenshot gallery has like a thousand screenshots of volleyball dudes, but I'm having a hell of a good time for sure.

[carriesthewind]

Oh dear.

So as some of you may know, I love to point and laugh at bad legal arguments. And as fun as legal dumpster fires are when they are made by people who aren’t lawyers but think this whole “law” thing seems pretty simple, it’s even funnier when an actual, barred attorney is the person dumping gallons of kerosene into the dumpster.

And oh boy folks, do I have a fun ride for y’all today. Come with me on this journey, as we watch a lawyer climb into the dumpster and deliberately pour kerosene all over himself, while a judge holds a match over his head.

The court listener link is here, for those who want to grab a few bowls of popcorn and read along.

For those of you who don’t enjoy reading legal briefs for cases you aren’t involved with on your day off (I can’t relate), I will go through the highlights here. I will screenshot and/or paraphrase the relevant portion of the briefs, and include a brief explainer of what’s going on (and why it’s very bad, but also extremely funny). (Also, I’m not going to repeat this throughout the whole write-up, so for the record: any statements I make about how the law or legal system works is referring exclusively to the U.S. (And since this is a federal case, we are even more specifically looking at U.S. federal law.) Also, I don’t know how you could construe any of this to be legal advice, but just in case: none of this is, is intended to be, or should be taken as, legal advice.)

First, let’s get just a quick background on the case, to help us follow along. In brief, this is a civil tort suit for personal injury based on defendant’s (alleged) negligence. The plaintiff is suing the defendant (an airline), because he says that he was injured when a flight attendant struck his knee with a metal cart, and the airline was negligent in letting this happen. The airline filed a motion to dismiss on the grounds that there is an international treaty that imposes a time bar for when these kind of cases can be brought against an airline, and the plaintiff filed this case too many years after the incident.

The fun begins when the plaintiff’s attorney filed an opposition to the motion to dismiss. (So far, a good and normal thing to do.) The opposition argues that the claim is not time-barred because 1) the time bar was tolled by the defendant’s bankruptcy proceedings (that is, the timer for the time limitation was paused when the defendant was in bankruptcy, and started again afterwords), and 2) the treaty’s time limit doesn’t apply to this case because the case was filed in state court before the state statute of limitations expired, and the state court has concurrent jurisdiction over this kind of case.

I’m struggling a bit to succinctly explain the second reason, and there’s a reason for that.

You see, the whole opposition reads a bit…oddly.

This is how the opposition begins its argument, and it’s…weird. The basic principle is...mostly correct here, but the actual standard is that when reviewing a motion to dismiss for failure to state a claim (which is what the defendant filed) the court must draw all reasonable factual inferences in the plaintiff’s favor. But even then, you don’t just put that standard in your opposition. You cite to a case that lays out the standard.

Because that’s how courts and the law work. The courts don’t operate just based on vibes. They follow statutory law (laws made by legislature) and case law (the decisions made by courts interpreting what those laws mean). You don't just submit a filing saying, "here's what the law is," without citing some authority to demonstrate that the law is what you say (or are arguing) it is.

Again, this isn’t wrong (although I'm not sure what it means by new arguments?), but it’s weird! And part of the reason it’s weird is that it is irrelevant to the defendant’s motion to dismiss. The defendant filed a motion stating that based on the facts in the complaint, the plaintiff has not stated a claim based on which relief can be granted, because the complaint is time barred by a treaty. There is no reason for this language to be in the opposition. It’s almost like they just asked a chatbot what the legal standards are for a motion to dismiss for a failure to state a claim, and just copied the answer into their brief without bother to double-check it.

The opposition then cites a bunch of cases which it claims support its position. We will skip them for now, as the defendant will respond to those citations in its reply brief.

The last thing in the brief is the signature of the lawyer who submitted the brief affirming that everything in the brief is true and correct. An extremely normal - required, even! - thing to do. This will surely not cause any problems for him later.

The next relevant filing is the defendant’s reply brief. Again, the existence of a reply brief in response to an opposition is extremely normal. The contents of this brief are…less so.

Beg pardon?

Just to be clear, this is not normal. It is normal to argue that the plaintiff’s cases are not relevant, or they aren’t applicable to this case, or you disagree with the interpretations, or whatever. It is not normal for the cases to appear to not exist.

Some highlights from the brief:

Quick lesson in how to read U.S. case citations! The italicized (or underlined) part at the beginning is the name of the case. If it is a trial court case, the plaintiff is listed first and the defendant second; if the case has been appealed, the person who lost at the lower court level (the petitioner/appellant) will be listed first, and the person who won at the lower level (the respondent/appellee) will be listed second. There are extremely specific rules about which words in these names are abbreviated, and how they are abbreviated. Next, you list the volume number and name of the reporter (the place where the case is published), again abbreviated according to very specific rules, then the page number that the case starts on. If you are citing a case for a specific quote or proposition, you then put a comma after the beginning page number, and list the page number(s) on which the quote or language you are relying on is located (this is called a “pincite”). Finally, you put in parenthesis the name of the court (if needed)(and again, abbreviated according to extremely specific rules) and the year the case was decided.

So the plaintiff’s response cited to Zicherman, which they said was a case from 2008 that was decided by the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. However, the defendant was not able to find such a case. They were able to find a case with the same name (the same petitioner and respondent), but that case was decided by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1996, and the lower court cases associated with that case weren’t in the 11th circuit either. (The United States Reports is the only official reporter for the U.S. Supreme Court, and only includes SCOTUS decisions, so it’s not necessary to include the name of the court before the year it was decided.)

Just to be clear. The defendant’s brief is saying: the plaintiff cited and extensively quoted from these cases, and neither the cases nor the quotations appear to exist. These “cases” were not ancillary citations in the plaintiff’s brief. They were the authority it relied upon to make its arguments.

This is as close a lawyer can come, at this point in the proceedings, to saying, “opposing counsel made up a bunch of fake cases to lie to the court and pretend the law is something different than it is.”

That, “Putting aside that here is no page 598 in Kaiser Steel,” is delightfully petty lawyer speak for, “you are wrong on every possible thing there is to be wrong about.”

By page 5, the defendant has resorted to just listing all of the (apparently) made up cases in a footnote:

(skipping the citations to support this proposition)

This is where I return to my struggle to explain the opposition’s second reason why the motion to dismiss should not be granted. I struggled to explain the argument, because they failed to explain why the argument they were making (that plaintiffs can bring lawsuits against airlines in state court, and the state court have specific statutes of limitations for general negligence claims) was relevant to the question of whether the plaintiff’s specific claim against the airline was time barred by the treaty. Because 1) this case is in federal court, not state court, and 2) federal law - including treaties - preempts state law. Again, it’s almost like plaintiff’s attorney just typed a question about the time bar into a chatbot or something, and the machine, which wasn’t able to reason or actually analyze the issues, saw a question about the time to bring a lawsuit and just wrote up an answer about the statute of limitations.

We also end with a nice little lawyerly version of “you fucked up and we are going to destroy you.” The relief requested in the defendant’s original motion to dismiss was:

In their reply to the opposition, however:

“The circumstances” in this case, being the apparent fabrication of entire cases. Because courts tend to take that pretty seriously.

And the court took it seriously indeed. The defendant’s reply was docketed on March 15th of this year. On April 11th:

AKA: you have one week (an extremely prompt time frame for federal court) to prove to me that you didn’t just make up these cases.

On April 12th, the plaintiff’s attorney requests more time because he’s on vacation:

The judge grants the motion, but adds in another case that he forgot to include in his first order.

On April 25th, the plaintiff’s attorney files the following:

(And he lists the cases, with one exception, which he says is an unpublished decision.)

But he says of all of the cases except two, that the opinions…

Which is…nonsense?

First of all: if you cited a case, you had to get it from somewhere. Even unpublished opinions, if you are citing them in a brief, you are citing them because you pulled them off of westlaw or whatever. Which means you have access to the case and can annex it for the court. (There are even formal rules for how you cite unpublished opinions! And those rules include citing to where you pulled the damn case from!)

Secondly: remember that long digression I went into about how to read case citations? Remember that bit about how you include the name of the reporter (the place the case was published)? Yes, cases are published. They are printed in physical books, and they are published online in databases (e.g. lexis or westlaw). If the specific online database you are looking in does not have the case, you look somewhere else. If you have a judge telling you to get them a copy of the case Or Else, you track down a physical copy of the reporter if you need to and scan the damn thing yourself. You - literally - can’t just not have a copy of the case! (Especially published federal circuit court opinions, which multiple of these cases are! Those aren’t hard to find!)

And what kind of “online database” doesn’t include the entire opinion anyway? I’ve literally never heard of a case research database that only included partial opinions, because that wouldn’t be useful.

Maybe if we look at the attached annexed copies of the cases, that might give us some answers.

...

My friends, these things are just bizarre. With two exceptions, they aren’t submitted in any sort of conventional format. Even if you’ve never seen a legal opinion before, I think you can see the difference if you just glance through the filings. They are located at Docket entry #29 on Court Listener (April 25, 2023). Compare Attachments 6 and 8 (the real cases submitted in conventional format) to the other cases. Turning to the contents of the cases:

In the first one, the factual background is that a passenger sued an airline, then the airline filed a motion to dismiss (on grounds unrelated to the treaty's time bar), then the airline went into bankruptcy, then the airline won the motion to dismiss, then the passenger appealed. And the court is now considering that appeal. But then the opinion starts talking about how the passenger was in arbitration, and it seems to be treating the passenger like he is the one who filed for bankruptcy? It’s hallucinatory, even before you get to the legal arguments. The “Court of Appeals” is making a ruling overruling the district court’s dismissal based on the time bar, but according to the factual background, the case wasn’t dismissed based on the time bar, but on entirely other grounds? Was there some other proceeding where the claim was dismissed as time barred, and it’s just not mentioned in the factual background? How? Why? What is happening? Also it says Congress enacted the treaty? But, no? That’s…that’s not how treaties work? I mean, Congress did ratify the treaty? But they didn’t unilaterally make it!

In the second case, there’s an extended discussion of which treaty applies to the appellants claims, which is bizarre because there are two relevant treaties, and one replaced the other before the conduct at issue, so only the new treaty applies? There isn’t any discussion of the issue beyond that basic principle, so there is no reason there should be multiple paragraphs in the opinion explaining it over and over? Also, it keeps referring to the appellant as the plaintiff, for some reason? And it includes this absolutely hallucinatory sentence:

…the only part this that makes sense is that the argument is without merit. I’m not going to discuss the actual merits of the legal arguments in the opinion, because they are so bizarre and disjointed that even trying to describe them would require a Pepe Silvia-sized conspiracy board. Like the previous case, both the facts and the legal posture of the case change constantly, with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

The third one…oh boy. First, large portions of the “opinion” are individual paragraphs with quotations around the whole paragraph. What’s happening there? As far as the content of the opinion itself - I can’t. I mean that, I literally can’t. What is being discussed seems to change from paragraph to paragraph, much of it contradicting. It makes the first case seem linear and rational by comparison. The court finds it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over the defendant so dismisses the case based on a lack of subject matter jurisdiction? But also the defendant hasn’t contested jurisdiction? And also the court does hold that it has both subject matter and personal jurisdiction over the defendant? And then it denies the motion to dismiss the case? Also, at one point it cites itself?

…also, even if this was a real case, it doesn’t stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited it for in their opposition? I’m not going to go into the weeds (honestly it’s so hallucinatory I’m not sure I could if I tried), but, for example, the plaintiff’s reply brief states that the court held “that the plaintiff was not required to bring their claim in federal court.” The U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia is a federal court, and there is no discussion of any filings in state courts. The closest the “opinion” comes is with the statement, “Therefore, Petersen’s argument that the state courts of Washington have concurrent jurisdiction is unavailing.” (This statement appears to be completely disconnected from anything before or after it, so I am unsure what it is supposed to mean.)

Moving on, case number four is allegedly a decision by the Court of Appeals of Texas. It includes the following line:

Honestly, the plaintiff’s attorney best defense at this point is that he wasn’t intentionally trying to mislead the court, because if he was doing this on purpose, he would have edited the cases to make them slightly more believable. (Context in case you’ve lost track: these documents are supposed to be copies of the opinions he is citing. The screenshoted line makes it clear that what he is actually citing is, at best, someone else’s summary of an "opinion". It would be like if a teacher asked a student to photocopy a chapter of a book and bring it into class, and instead the student brought in a copy of the cliffs notes summary of that chapter. Except that the book doesn’t even exist.)

The actual contents of the “opinion” are, as is now standard, absolutely bonkers. First, the court decides that it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over Delta because “Delta did not purposefully avail itself of the benefits of conducting business in Texas.” This was despite the fact that the factual background already included that the appellant (sorry, the plaintiff, according to the “opinion”) flew on a Delta flight originating in Texas. Like, this is just wrong? It’s not even hallucinatory nonsense, it’s just facially incorrect legal analysis. Then the court starts discussing the treaty’s time bar, for some reason? Then it goes back to talking about personal jurisdiction, but now the trial court denied the defendant’s motion to dismiss for lack of personal jurisdiction, and the appellate court agrees with the trial court that it does have personal jurisdiction, even though this is the plaintiff’s appeal from the dismissal for lack of personal jurisdiction and the court already ruled it didn’t have personal jurisdiction? And even though on page 1, the plaintiff was injured during a flight from Texas to California, now on page 7 she was injured on a flight from Shanghai to Texas? Also the trial court has gone back in time (again) to grant the motion to dismiss that it previously denied?

Also, I’ve been trying to avoid pointing out the wonky text of these submissions, but:

Everything ok there?

Case number five is similar enough to number four that it’s not worth repeating myself.

Thank god, cases six and eight, as noted above, are real cases, so I’m going to skip them. The defendant alleges that the cases do not stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited them for, and I’m going to assume that is true, given the rest of this nonsense.

Case number seven looks legitimate on the surface. But neither the defendant nor I could find the case through any legitimate search mechanisms. The defendant looked up the purported docket numbers on PACER and found completely different cases; I was able to find a case with the name “Miller v. United Airlines, Inc.,” but it was for a different Ms. Miller, it was a California state case (not a Second Circuit federal case), it was decided on a different year, and the substance of the case was entirely different from the alleged opinion filed with the court.

On top of that, this might be the most morally reprehensible fake citation of them all? Because it is about the crash of United Airlines Flight 585, a real plane crash. Everyone on board - 25 people in total - was killed. 

The individual cited in this fake court case was not one of them.

I cannot imagine conducting myself in such a way where I would have to explain to a judge that I made up a fake case exploiting a real tragedy because I couldn’t be bothered to do actual legal research.

Now, I know you all have figured out what’s going on by now. And I want you to know that if your instincts are saying, “it seems like the lawyer should have just fallen on his sword and confessed that he relied on ChatGPT to write his original brief, rather than digging himself further into this hole”? Your instincts are absolutely correct.

Because obviously, the court was having none of this b.s. On May 4th, the court issued an order, beginning with the following sentence:

That is one of the worst possible opening sentences you can see in an order by the court in a situation like this. The only thing worse is when judges start quoting classic literature. If I was Mr. Peter LoDuca, counsel for the plaintiff, I would already be shitting my pants.

“I gave you an opportunity to either clear things up or come clean. Now I’m going to give you an opportunity to show why I should only come down on you like a pile of brinks, instead of a whole building.”

We are getting dangerously close to “quoting classic lit” territory here.

If I learned that the judge in my case called up the clerk of a circuit court just to confirm how full of shit I was, I would leave the legal profession forever. Also, the judge is now also putting quotes around “opinion.” When judges start getting openly sarcastic in their briefs, that means very very bad things are about to happen to someone.

So I’m guessing the delay between this filing and the court order was because the judge’s clerk was tasked with running down every single one of the additional fake citations included in the "opinions", just to make this sure this order (and the upcoming pile of bricks) are as thorough as possible.

If you are following along with Dracula Daily, the vibe here is roughly the same as the May 19th entry where Dracula demands Jonathan Harker write and pre-date letters stating he has left the castle and is on the way home.

Also, hey, what’s that footnote?

Wait, what?

Folks, it appears we may have notary fraud, on top of everything else! Anybody have bingo?

So on May 25, one day before the deadline, Mr. LoDuca filed his response. And oh boy, I hope ya’ll are ready for this.

Hey, what’s the name of that other attorney, “Steven Schwartz”? Where have I seen that name before…

...I ran out of room for images on this post. So I'm going to have to leave this as an accidental cliffhanger. Part 2 to follow once I refresh my tea.

[kalims]

⭒ㅤnot gonna lie !

premise. pov prefect opens a ngl, except! the story they shared it from can only be viewed... by one person!

characters. first years

ace

not gonna lie ! smash tbh

unironically pretends that he never sent one when you start bombarding him.

uniquewhere: i didn't even see ur story

shrimp: [attatchment]

uniquewhere: i have no wifi to see that sorry not sorry

vehement denial is actually the most effective defense according to him. even if it bypasses all forms of realism, it's not real if he doesn't believe it to be! <- real life advice from ace trappola guys.

if you haven’t already guessed, he can indeed see the picture you just sent and just assumes his very first form of defense… no amount of proof will remove him from his little ball of: “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

you gotta prepare some kind of miscrosoft presentation, and sit him down. though he will 100% do that thing where he plugs his ears in with his fingers pretending he doesn’t hear anything even though it doesn’t block out you reading out the words.

“here is the real, actual screenshot of my replies—”

“I NEVER EVEN SAW YOUR STORY.”

“ah, good! next slide after this is the views of the story!”

deuce

not gonna lie ! i like you

very demure, very straight to the point is deuce.

he would've written some long ass paragraph in all honesty but he just can't because he sees what he writes, deletes it, then cringes to himself.

atleast with that one he has the excuse for whichever scenario that might randomly ask about it.. (yes, he's thinking that far) weird flex but ok

1. "you ever confessed to your crush?" someone asking

2. "yeah sorta....." deuce

3. "???" someone confused

he was feeling reaaallyyy proud of himself. the anxiousness finally settles down, alongside with his rapidly beating heart. even if it isn't a real, confession it still brings him a bit of peace.

shrimp: I know what you did

tokyodefenders: WHAT?

there goes his heart rate.

like, you did not offer context to any of that but he's still gonna think you somehow, actually do know even if you didn't provide an explanation to... whatever it is you know about him!

tokyodefenders: whaTEVER IT IS IS NKT TRUE

shrimp: please, ur breaking my heart

shrimp: I like u too :(

heart? ascended

he's not even gonna question it. all his braincells got dumped out, and all he can focus on is that particular message. he isn't even gonna remember backtracking about the ngl cause he's gonna be like:

how did they hack my keyboard.. are they tracking it?! LOL

"I'm a mastermind,"

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!" <- deuce, scared for his life.

jack

not gonna lie ! stop getting into trouble. I'm not always there to pull you out

is concerned with how many times you've managed to unknowingly walk into trouble, jack had been lucky enough (yes, him. not you, cause knowing you, you wouldn't be too phased) to be a near constant presence when the shenanigans during the tournament concluded, he stuck to you then.

as in reluctantly following around you like a tail. narrowing his eyes at the less than friendly faces often wore around you, that you were... well, amazingly oblivious to. or maybe you acted like you didn't know, the carriage didn't pick you up for nothing if you were here in nrc.

shrimp: do u rlly think I'm a troublemaker?

iheldheroncejacob: yes

the random topic being brought up went completely over his head. jack probably had forgotten he'd given the link to your story the time of your day, in all honesty

shrimp: well maybe I keep getting in trouble so u can rush in, and pull me out?

iheldheroncejacob: you're a terrible friend then

shrimp: :(

in retrospect jack is able to keep up with joking around, usually. but it's so hard to take you seriously that he takes whatever you say with a grain of salt, you're almost always tipping between flat sarcasm, or calm nonchalance between your words. it almost always has something to do with the people you're with.

the heartslabyul prefect for example, you take a kind, subtle undertone of teasing to (which is crazy, because you're scarily tame in the presence of the vice-dorm head.) and then you're all stony faced when you're with someone you don't like.

^ and you obviously don't dislike jack, if the little selfish, presumptuous nrc part of him would like to claim confidently so... would you really be joking?

only does jack realize the connection between your text, and the ask he sent when he's just finished his laps.

"I'm not your guard dog! why would you even get in trouble for that, next time I'm not even gonna spare you the time cause—"

"what a pee brain."

"what? don't compare my brain to a tiny pee—"

epel

not gonna lie ! CAN I PLS TRANSFER TO RAMSHACKLE AHHHH

you've never met anyone who's disliked being sorted into whatever the dark mirror fitted their 'soul' into as much as epel.

even without the private story only limited to his response, you're sure you could pick out his message and put a face to it.

epel, in his defense, still has savanaclaw as number one in his heart. though upon asking jack if it was possible to transfer there, the latter confirmed but it was... a tedious process, and suggested asking rook, who literally came from savanaclaw!

the boy only spared his friend a side glance before scurrying away. no use traipsing around that...

but of course, getting away from pomefiore is only a goal! always being near your proximity was a biiiiig bonus!

shrimp: hey I need ur files for the dorm transfer

catchwhathands: [escapeplan.jpg]

catchwhathands: I knew u wanted me in ur dorm!!

shrimp: actually I don't. ur the one that asked ;)

catchwhathands: who cares. I'm finally getting out of this hell YEAHHHH!!

shrimp: who said I was gonna use the files you sent?

okay, admittedly the moment he'd sent over the files, epel shut his phone, and quite literally did a victory lap around his room. making sure to frolic so vil has less chances of hearing his chaos...

the dorm leader woke up so easily from noises that you'd think rook was the reason he developed such a habit.

probably.

epel was already planning the plan! he could see the vision! maybe he could plant around ramshackle since it is a pretty big area. you guys would be together for the remainder of the year—and he'd finally bump the adeuce duo from their pedestal!

*ping*

"AGHHHHH STUPID FRIGGIN'—"

"epel!"

"sorry..."

sebek

not gonna lie ! since it is a request for unbridled honesty, I shall deliver what you've requested. you have done so without much thought, clearly! if you've given such leeway for... criticism! you, human, could use a lot more educating in terms of the glory of our eternal lord, the glorious malleus! in accordance to your previous, description of our relationship. the farthest I can give is acquaintance, but I shall only call you a companion (AKA friend) if you are atleast educated about my interests! as the good companion you desire to be!

woo, alright. he really wrote all that...

oh, uh oh.. you just got another ask from him, maybe even longer..?

shrimp: what would that make silver then

rizzvolt: my brother in arms!

shrimp: but hey, actually I do want to know

rizzvolt: ah! finally! I knew you atleast have some common decency, and sense. for that I shall agree for your request in our friendship! these are the most accurate ones pertaining the great lord malleus' biography! [link] [link] [link]

rizzvolt: is that enough? I will send you more, but only if you finish these three. I will test you rigorously to confirm that you are indeed genuine in your interest!

why he has all that, you have no idea.. if only he displayed that much dedication for his studies...

shrimp: I don't wanna learn about malleus

shrimp: I want to learn about you

rizzley: how dare you! the lord's name should only be addressed with a: 'lord', 'the great', 'the

...

sebek stares at his screen, just in the process of finishing his... educating sentence, because even in text, malleus should only be treated with the highest form of respect!

have you no integrity?! he wonders.

only then does he focus on your response, does he make a rather... dubious sound of shock? sebek doesn't know why he breaks into a cold sweat as he runs the sentence through his mind a hundred times in the span of a minute.

what is this... some sort of human illness? or maybe love—

of course he'd never even consider such a thing! (just did bro)

shrimp: sooo.. since you sent me an ask, does that mean you actually like me?

shrimp: sebeeeeekk.. did you actually read?

with the speed of lightning (and the adrenaline maybe, what else could this frantic pounding of his chest explain besides that you are indeed, dangerous!) he opens the story on your media

'send me an ask if you like meeee :)'

sebek promptly falls over.

[writingbyshiloh]

Third Time's the Charm

Request: Hii,if your request are still open can i request something for Gen V?Can you write something where Jordan and fem reader are childhood best friends and Jordan had always been in love with her but they feel insecure because they don’t know if reader will like them in both forms romantically?So when,in ep 3,Jordan dad goes like “Y/n and Jordan will be husband and wife” reader goes “Maybe we will be wife and wife”because she loves Jordan just like they are?

AN: Reader wants to be the first supe president (just to explain why they’re at the gala), I changed the timeline of the ep a tiny bit. I have another request about meeting Jordan's parents but that one might be more angsty.

CW: fem!reader, kissing, no beta, Jordan's parents are just their warning. The start is all flashbacks so I may have slipped on the tense a few times, no beta

WC: 2.0K

Jordan Li was your first kiss. Twice. The first time was in kindergarten, when they tried to kiss you and you smacked them with your Queen Mauve lunch box. Your second first kiss (the one you consider your actual first kiss) was done by you while playing truth or dare at 14. After picking a dare, you were asked to kiss the best-looking guy in the group. You shrugged and picked your best friend - Jordan. 

At age six, they were there when you broke your ankle trying to see if you could fly (you couldn’t). When you did get powers, they were the first person you told.

When Jordan came out to you as bigender, you did an internet deep-dive, trying to understand as much as possible.

Jordan listened to every interaction you had with your high school crush while quietly dying inside, wanting you to be happy. When your high school boyfriend cheated on you and then dumped you for the girl he cheated with, Jordan was there, ready to sink hours into their Xbox to keep you distracted.

The worst week of your life was when you didn't speak to Jordan for 9 whole days. You got into a petty argument where you called them self-absorbed and they called you clingy. The fight snowballed into yelling arguments and ended with you receiving a cold shoulder from Jordan. 

When Jordan got their wisdom teeth removed, you camped out in their room, snuggled under their duvet with them to watch Property Brothers for two days straight. You even made sure they took their painkillers on time and used ice packs.

Every fight with their parents, you were outside in your car ready to pick up Jordan to stay with you. Once you showed up at their house at 6:03 am, eyes blurry with sleep and still in pyjamas. Jordan was crying, bob haircut looked messy from sleep. You drove them to Vought-A-Burger, still half asleep and ate greasy breakfast sandwiches in your car until Jordan stopped crying. 

Jordan was even your date to prom, taking photos with you in their masculine form to get their parents off their back. Once their parents were happy, you snuck them back to yours, where you stashed their prom dress. 

You both even applied to God U together. Too nervous to check your acceptance, Jordan checked yours and you checked theirs. Sitting across from each other on your bed you both log in before giving the laptops to each other.

“Okay, three, two, one…” you counted down, opening Jordan’s laptop. Your eyes scanned for any promising words like congratulations, or welcome. "Accepted" was the first word your eyes caught but you need to fuck with them.

“Jord… I’m so sorry.” You start. Their face falls, and you feel like a dick for doing this. But the opportunity is too good to pass up. “That you believed me! Because you got in!”

They lunged across your bed to see what the screen says. You saw Jordan's eyes scan the same letter you just read, picking out the same words. 

“You’re such an asshole!” they told you, rolling their eyes, gently hitting your arm with the back of their hand

You’ve never been shy about showering Jordan with compliments. Saved in screenshots never to see the light of day, Jordan has kept some of them. 

You: OMG!!! Jordan you’re so pretty. I’m so lucky to call you my friend. 

You: You’re so handsome!!! I love your hair slicked back! If she doesn’t agree you need to drop her. 

You: ur a solid 9/10. Lost a point for not giving me a sip of your drink yesterday lol

Jordan Li has been in love with you since age 16. Probably earlier, if they want to admit that to themselves. You’ve only ever expressed interest in men so they kept their feelings to themselves, not wanting to make you uncomfortable, figuring it was better to have you as a friend only than not at all. 

In your first year, you were even roommates. While Jordan flourished in crim, you bounced between majors before settling into politics.

Every time you brought some frat guy to your shared dorm, Jordan died inside. Trying to get over their long-standing crush, Jordan did the same.

When Jordan made number 2 on the top five, you celebrate with them. Maybe a bit too hard that night.

You were there when their ranking dropped after the death of Brink. A man you only met twice, but you would do anything for Jordan. Especially given how hard you fell for both versions of them last year.

“I’m going to try to tag team with your dad, get some points for you and keep him engaged, yeah?” You ask over your shocker. Jordan is behind you, ready to help with zipper duty for your dress.

“You don’t have to.”

You let out a small scoff. “Dude. I’m doing poli supe. Schmoozing with rich people is like half our courses. Zip me up please.”

“How long have you known Jordan? You seem to be a good couple.” The man you and Jordan's dad suckered into a conversation asks. He's sitting beside Jordan's parents, while you and Jordan are on the edge of some fancy pit or table. 

“Well, these two have known each other pretty well over the years. Jordan tried to kiss her when they were kids, and she hit him with her Black Noir lunch box.”

“It was a Queen Mauve lunch box, actually.” You say with a laugh.

“And she called him ‘Jojo’ for probably the next two years out of spite.” Kayla laughs. It's a special embarrassment when your parents tell stories about your childhood. All the stories are about you but it's been so long ago you can’t remember any of it. Jordan looks worse off, slouchy posture against the banister, while you sit next to him. Part of you wants to tell him to sit up straight, but you figure you can play the grief angle better this way. 

“Oh, and remember when Jordan got his wisdom teeth out? You guys were inseparable. I think I still have the photo of you two passed out watching TV!” Kayla gushes, reaching for her phone to find the photo.

“We all thought you two would be president and First Gentleman.” Dad insists. Your smile is fake and tight, knowing if Paul pulls out prom photos, you would have to quietly fling yourself out of a window. 

Maybe you drank a bit too much liquid courage. Maybe the tension between them and their parents was getting to you. To give Jordan some space, you took their parents for a tour of your classes, knowing they’ll be talking to your family when they go back to Rochester.

Jordan shifting doesn’t even cause you to raise an eyebrow, the subtle sound just blurs into the background.

“Or president and First Lady.” You blurt out, four pairs of eyes darting towards you. “First supes in the Whitehouse? It would be political dynamite.”

“You like this version of Jordan?” Dad asks with bewilderment.

“Of course. I like Jordan because of how smart and driven they are. I like Jordan because of their weird sense of humour. It doesn’t matter what they look like.” you say, trying to prove it to their parents, but also to them. You’ve picked up on their crush many times, too kind to say something that would embarrass them or hurt them. It’s only recently how much you found yourself staring at fem Jordan and wanting to kiss her too. 

“I’m going to go and mingle some more.” says the man, Brad or Rob maybe. You forgot his name right after you met him. His words are like a bucket of cold water was dumped over you. You don’t confess your feelings to Jordan just to Jordan, but in front of their judgy parents, and a possible donner. You need to go. 

You stand and straighten out your dress. 

“I’m going to go too. Other donors to talk to. Go Jordan!" You finish with an awkward laugh and even more cringy go team! gesture by yourself. 

You didn't lie to Jordan and their parents. You did go and talk to other donors but it twists your stomach every time you bring up how amazing their grades are, or how skillful they are at fighting. After donor number three gives you an answer that technically was “we’ll see” but heavily implied to be "yes for Jordan” you went to hide in the bathroom. You have enough battery left on your V-phone to keep it going for most of the night. Tomorrow you can talk to Jordan and hope you don’t fuck it all up. 

You barely look up when the door opens, already have done too much for the day to care who it is. 

‘Hey, can we talk?” You snap to attention at the voice. Of course, you know that voice. It's Jordan, still feminine presenting. 

“Fuck, Jord, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have spring that on you. I promise I’ll just go back and try to get you some votes, you’re going through a lot.” You say, in a rush to get the words out, desperate not to fuck up you’re friendship. The rim of the sink is hard against your back but you can’t help but shrink into it. 

“Did you mean it?” They ask, still keeping a distance from you.

“Yeah, of course, I don’t want to ruin this friendship.”

“No, what you said in front of my parents.” 

Oh right. Your confession. Fuck. It's already out there, might as well keep it going. 

“I may, uh-” you curse yourself for leaving your drink outside the bathroom, wanting something in your hands to stall. “-have a crush. On you. My best friend.” You twist your hands together, wishing Jordan didn’t look so pretty. If your heart beats any faster you may go into cardiac arrest. 

It's Jordan that indicates your third first kiss. It's gentle, and fast, like the second one. She pulls back quickly, but you run your fingers through her hair and pull her closer. The intensity from the first first kiss is still there, only this time you both share it. Her hand smooths up to your face, thumb stroking your cheek in a silent invitation to open your mouth. You comply, and tilt your head into her palm. Her tongue sweeps into your mouth and you can taste the champagne they were drinking. 

The sound of the door opening makes you both jump.

“Stall?” You ask, voice low and hushed. You squirm out from where she has you between the sink and her. You push the door open to the nicest-looking stall, desperate to keep kissing Jordan. They follow your lead eagerly, one hand wrapped around your shoulder to keep you near. 

Dipping their head, they softly kiss your jaw before moving onto your neck. You silently thank the other two women arguing in the bathroom so that your gasp goes unnoticed. Giving Jordan's hair a small tug, you pull them back up to you. The shit-eating grin they flash you makes you want to almost get caught again. 

Your free hand moves to their waist, trying to get as close to them as physically possible. 

You pull back slightly, wanting so desperately to get lost in the moment, but the commotion in the other stall is distracting. Plus you’re nosey.

Jordan frowns when you pull away, eyes scanning your face for something they did wrong. You shake your head and tip it over to the stall.

“The fuck?” They mouth to you, hand still around your shoulder.

You gently push Jordan against the door to give yourself space to squat down. You see two pairs of feet in the stall across the wall. You hear the voices quiet down, before the sound of someone peeing. You frown slightly, weird fetish to do at a memorial gala but you hear rumours about students into more fucked up shit. 

“We should get outta here.” You whisper to Jordan. 

“Weird place for our third first kiss.” Jordan whispers back. You reach around them to unlock the stall door. Third first kiss. You replay the words in your head, a warm feeling blooming in your chest. 

You gently push them out of the stall, trying to keep your laughs quiet as you both scurry past the other couple in the stall. 

[bizarrelovesquare]

Dan posted this video that gave us a HUGE peek into Martin's notes about episodes they're working on...

Screenshots (with about 90% ID of what's visible, bless his handwriting) under the cut! Fair warning, it's long, but there's a lot going on here, and it's so much to think about!

picture 1: ????? chicken head funnier

picture 2: (first page) Reactionator

? Speakers all over town People's phones Therapist Doof & Candace

Therapist thinks she is crazy but is tactful

The shrink is delusional ? ? exercise that is the catalyst for Cand. being delusional

Candace "It's A Wonderful Life" -- After actual bust C sees everyone doing much worse she feels sad

Family - I think you discuss it Cruise Ship - P&F Van/Doof Last chance to Candace A / Perry back

(second page) Doof's DEI W/A C's Therapist

Doof same therapist

Ferb is next a speech therapist

Doof trauma-dumping on therapist

Therapist "The real self-destruct button is in your head"

Therapist does ex(?)nemesis - therapist

Therapist sees - "WAIT, I GET IT, what Candace is doing gets taken away by what HE'S DOING--"

(note going down side of page) GUEST ON DOOFENPUSS

Doof ? regular ? ? - but she can't ? this because of C ? Confidential ALL DANVILLE Doof and Vanessa on cruise ALL CHARACTERS ? Reactionator blackmail secret I ever tell you w/Lindana whose solved mysteries

picture 3: (script on the table) (our first potential season 6 title?) PHINEAS AND FERB

"VANESSAY"

Written by Martin Olson & Olivia Olson

picture 4: Vanessay

Change tennis to playground

Roger & slushy guy not zapped

Rog. - reflects ray w/ his teeth - set up teeth first Doof: strong jaw -

Agent T thumbnotes "Up the chimney is a weird visual pun" Stacy: "You know we have a front door."

C & Stacy w/ambient sounds joke sequence - cut down?

Mono - "Four seasons of this show" Why did I ? ? ?

To Liv for Vanessay Playground - see how ? ? trap sets scene - a handled window box

Stacy: "Hey ? I ? ANIMAL NOISES!" CUT TO BLACK

Stacy pushes ? out of doorway

Dimin: after "Shorty" - No prize is worth this!

picture 5: T For Teen For Liv - SC 916 Perry leaps into air & does triple flip & lands ready to fight

Pitch n buttons for each

Exec note - Thurs - T For Teens 1:48 end of C/Stacy annual ? sudden cut to end ? w "napkins"

MEAP - PT2 S&P CONCERNS

(I cannot make this bit out to save my life. Martin what in the world my dude)

picture 6: Meap pt 2 - thumbnotes

22 to Meap - "Uh-uh! An ship ? us away!" (clumsy)

Fix pronunciation "St. Lois" joke C is shushed by Meap

Tidy up - don't have everyone say "Don't forget to flush"

C pressing red button to explode ? ship sucks

Brenda joke sexist "No one tracks you through the universe more than your wife"

picture 7: 501 PT1 Exec notes - bigger intro of Doof instead of him on yearbook 10:27 Buf. throw away Constitution Irving beat #2 too quick to nerd

Deconstructing thumbatic

Instead of "psychosis" "phantasma"

607 - Isa hair - 704 OWCA shredding SC

C feels good - "? ? that every day"

12 min: Viewers see The Murder Board

Biblio Blast anim. notes Perry incompetent - smashes into Doof's roof Cut down - plants surrounding/attacking Cut down Doof/Per table start w/Doof "We have to HIT SELF DESTRUCT"

picture 8: (page 1) song by the paver the wind makes love w/each other again

around us - it all seems so real meaning confounds us - cuz nothing's revealed we're SW in love w/each other again

Middle 1: From nothing we hustle Towards each other again Our love seems to circle Without any end

V3: The cloud of unknowing has such beautiful colors But where is it all going ? towards one another? we're SW - in love w/each other again

Middle 2: We seek out each other Every time we appear Sometimes we find another Before we disappear

INSTRUMENTAL W/DANCING SKELETON

(page 2) Middle 3: The breeze says to hug her And show how we feel Slowly healing each other Every turn of the wheel

Repeat V1: So basically - We're SW Along by the river We sit on a porch and The wind makes us shiver We're SW in love w/ each other again We're SW in love w/ each other again

JOSH - The paver of

picture 9: While Dance

says to hug her how we feel healing each other turn of the wheel

Repeat V1: (So basically)

We're SW Alone by the river We sit on the ? and The wind makes us shiver We're SW In love w/each other again

picture 10: Swampy

is trapped

back build something

element

State Triangle

"It's like the Berm[uda Triangle] totally different

(Teen lounge) & P&F build

too much like

Dan wants PLANE to

Doof is the ship

Jon said we turn strong where Doof is in the clouds - there's

picture 11: It's a whole new summer Perry (reblog if u cried)

Earthquake

Mom is laughing so hard she can't look

Staring contest - Try not to laugh

Candace has to be ? at Jeremy's larping tournament but she laughs

picture 12: Perry sick, "Can you take

Candace P&F canoe race

Laughtrack-inator Start ? - reveal Doof hits them w/a Doof keeps cranking it up

Doof rises wall of ? behind at ?

Laugh-inator Cut to surgeon heart

Norm: Good mg. sir Doof: But I programmed you to

picture 13: (this is another view of the page in picture 2, but this one reveals slightly more at the bottom, nothing too noteworthy added except for this)

LINDANA 80'S COP MOVIE - GUEST ON DOOFENPUS

[54625]

I miss kelp cocaine

I miss everyone congregating at Phil and Missa's, I miss Roier's over exaggerated moan every time he and Cellbit kissed, I miss everyone throwing their balaclavas on and going "passa tudo...", Tubbo's constant grilling of Fit and Pac (especially Fit), Mike's hairdressing, everyone singing the Pac e Mike wow wow song, Gegg, the admins striking people with lightning perfectly on cue, the Foolish cheating allegations, Slime and Mariana traumatising their viewers, Dorime playing randomly, people turning eachother rainbow coloured with the rainbow jelly, Dapper randomly pulling out all kinds of crazy creatures from his backpack, the extremely overwhelming pre-event meet ups, Las Casualonas, the casualonas dance, Sunny's materialism, Etoiles telling everyone how and why their armour and weapons aren't actually optimised, Phil breaking the fourth wall, Baghera and her fish joke, Rubius abusing his creative power, Foolish ruining the tension during serious moments, Cellbit obsessing over every lore lead or clue, Roier and his hilarious PNG builds, Felps "finally being added to the server", Fit always looking after Mariana's builds in his absence, everyone playing hide and seek, Cucurucho spying on and jumpscaring everyone, Quackity constantly being made fun of for his dead kid, Phil and Fit's aggressive "friendly" flirting, Cellbit talking over Richas' shoulder while he's painting, Leonarda's spoiledness, Ramón's obsession with the citric acid cycle, Slime's ability to show up for an event out of nowhere and just completely derail everything, new players always freaking out about Fit's voice, Quackity desperately trying to find a match since day 1 and always failing, Maximus' talk show, people teleporting in and out at just the right second, Jaiden's love for Hatsune Miku infecting the server, Bad and Foolish's encounters, Ramón threatening to blow himself up or digging himself into the ground when he doesn't get his way, Tallulah drowning herself when she doesn't get her way, the hilarious mistranslations, the wonderful screenshots, Vegetta's mines, Jaiden's expanding list of nationalities, Antoine being an enigma, the in-game karaoke place, Bobby starting fights, Juanaflippa dying over and over, Empanada trauma dumping about her first death to Bagi, Cellbit's vivo turbo ad, Bad yelling "language!", Pol and Foolish and Mouse not being able to stop laughing around each other, Pierre and Max's damn furry club, "no mames!", Spreen leaving for cigarettes, Bad stealing furniture, Missa being incomprehensibly cringefail (I will never forget that "bucket clutch"), Felps' hole, Tubbo's bigger hole, Mike going crazy that one time, Chayanne whipping out his cooking utensils, "Fofoca!", Pomme being the French Sniper, Pepito being homeless for a sec? Richarlyson's many personalities and characters, Tilin being "la tres leches", Trump even being called Trump to begin with, Cucuruchito flirting with everyone, dozens of plots to break into various federation buildings, hundreds of rule breaks, DanTDM being theorised to be Bagi's missing brother, Etoiles' love-hate relationship with the codes, Kameto going out for milk, Tina's heavily one sided rivalry with Fit, everyone changing their skins for events and some people being so extra with it, things falling into chaos every time an event needed them to travel a long distance together, the messy group photos, Charlie's grief spirals, people meeting up at Spreen's bar way back when, everyone making an effort to speak languages they don't speak, the sharing of international memes, the teaching of swear words, the joy that was born from the interconnectivity.

Just all of the things, dumb, hilarious, or adorable. The moments, bits and little jokes that made the QSMP so engaging, fun and entertaining to watch. That made you feel like you were participating in one massive celebration. I miss it.

[qsilverspidey]

Weekly morpherine screenshot dump?? I mean, I don't even know what to say, at least they spent a bit of time together before that.

S1 E9 - Tolerance Is Extinction P2 [ 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

[geddy-leesbian]

RE4R photo mode details: Food

RE4R Details Masterlist

Bit of a departure from my usual format. Instead of focusing on a single area, this is a dump of screenshots of food taken from all over the game.

(Please like/reblog if you found this post helpful in any way! Do NOT repost these screenshots without giving credit. I know these posts may seem simple, they're just screenshots, but they actually do involve a lot of time and effort on my part, time spent in photo mode zooming in on every single tiny detail to make sure I haven't missed anything important, as well as all the time sifting through dozens and dozens of screenshots to narrow it down to the 30 I deem most important <3)

[thomasbeyond]

Thomas: Beyond! Lost Test Archive (2022)

So, I might as well share this. Back in 2022, I wrote a script for a hypothetical first issue of Thomas Beyond, and illustrated a couple of pages to get a feel for the art style I wanted. Sketches were done in Toon Boon Harmony and Inked/colored in Photoshop. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very satisfied with what I had made, and decided to rework the script and delete the pages I had already done. Looking back I really regret doing that, but I have a couple of archived screenshots (albeit VERY cropped) that I sent to some friends for their advice.

The Issue was titled “Mystery of the Mail”.

One night, Percy is tasked with his usual run with the mail train, retrieving Sodor’s outward-going mail for an express post train bound for the mainland. However, after dropping his mail vans off in their designated siding at the big station, he is shocked to find out they had vanished in the middle of the night, and the train had to depart the Island of Sodor without collecting them. While most initially assume it was yet another instance of Percy’s clumsiness, tensions grow even higher after Sir Topham Hatt reveals one of the mail vans contained a special delivery of stock meant for a bank. With the police beginning to thoroughly investigate the North Western Railway, and all of staff questioned, it becomes evident to all that the NWR fell victim to a train robbery. Percy is shunned by most of the other engines for being so careless, with some even suspecting he and his crew were somehow involved in the heist despite pleading their innocence. Percy is utterly distraught, and becomes a disgrace. Not one for wanting to see his best friend’s reputation sink further down, Thomas (with the help of his driver, Bob) vows to solve the mystery of the mail and clear Percy’s name.

Thomas and Bob’s mishaps and hijinks in detective work end up distracting them from their usual jobs on Thomas’ branch line. Sir Topham Hatt reprimands Thomas for his immaturity, and Bob for knowing better than to give into Thomas’ shenanigans. The next day, the two are tasked with assisting the Sodor Ironworks in dumping their molten slag (this is where the conversation in the first image occurs). During their stay there, Thomas and Bob discover that the Ironworks orchestrated the heist, having sent Iron Bert out to retrieve the cars. Bert’s crew stuck off the main line as much as possible to avoid drawing any attention from the signal boxes. Upon retrieving the vans, Bert flew the express headlamps to disguise himself as the post train in the dark. Edward comes forward and swears he heard 2 trains pass by his yard at night, adding an extra layer of truth to the story. The police grow suspicious and obtain a warrant to search the Ironworks’ premises. Sure enough, tucked away in a shed, the vans are recovered, with several crowbars pathetically still pried upon the completely-locked doors.

Percy’s name is finally cleared-up, and he is welcomed back by everyone. As for the Ironworks? Well, the manager was VERY conveniently not present the day the mail vans were found… or the day after… and the next one after that. Many suspect that he ether successfully fled the country, or those whom he had “connections” with caught-on that his mission had failed, and were the ones to “hold him accountable” rather than the law. Just one more layer to this mystery that may NEVER be solved.

I have issues with this plot. Everyone is so quick to dogpile on Percy, including Sir Topham Hatt. Also, while I do remember that Bob does butt-heads with Thomas a lot of the time in small dialogue bits, I feel like he DOES give into Thomas’ whole detective bit wayyy too easily. I characterize him as being a lot more level-headed and dry in order to bounce off of Thomas’ impulsivity and eccentricity. Also, bleh. Of COURSE the Ironworks are the bad guys! Who could’ve guessed that it WASN'T them after the moment they became apart of this? Also, I pulled the whole “The Ironworks may or may not have ties to the criminal underworld” way too early. I like that idea, it’s funny and provides a genuinely good force for our heroes to combat against, but idk. It came and went wayyy too quickly. I’m much prouder of the narrative I have going on now for Sudric Storm, I feel it’s a better introduction to the Thomas series in the form of a comic, and provides a much more enriching story for these characters to play around in.

Welp, that was a blast from the past. Hope you enjoyed! (Also, 14 hours? Thomas… that’s… literally nothing. That’s a pretty average amount of time for being awake on a given day, what??? Amateur.)

[to-thelakes]

blue shirt

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

summary; luke wears one of his new shirts and you love it.

warnings; none? it's literally just me being a whore for luke

notes; this is literally just like a 600 word brain dump of me being an absolute SIMP FOR THIS MAN, it's like midnight, i'm watching 14x02 for the first time and LUKE IS WEARING THIS GODDAMN CHEQUERED BLUE SHIRT AND IM GOING FERAL. HE LOOKS SO PRETTY. so, here's a screenshot from the episode so you know what blue shirt i'm talking about and then there's a little one-shot/drabble of me losing my mind, please enjoy <3

masterlist

You were halfway through your pancakes when Luke walked in and your jaw fell slack. Your mind literally short-circuited as you stared at him. He was adjusting the sleeves of his shirt, pulling them up past his elbows. He hadn’t even noticed you gawking. He looked so pretty.

He was wearing a light-blue chequered shirt, sleeves rolled up past his elbows and the top three buttons of the shirt were undone. He looked so casual and yet gorgeous, and the colour complimented his skin in a way you had never seen. He looked breathtaking. The fit was a little loose but it framed his arms perfectly. The fabric showed off his muscles and the fact that the sleeves were rolled up meant you had the perfect view of his forearms and how his muscles flexed as he adjusted the fit. You had never seen him look so hot.

“What?” Luke’s voice snapped you back to reality. You were practically drooling, all thoughts of finishing the pancakes gone from your mind as you stared at him. He looked at you and then down at himself.

“Is that a new shirt?” You finally managed to choke out. His eyebrows furrowed and he nodded his head.

“Yeah?” He paused for a moment, your jaw still on the floor as your eyes roved over his chest. The fact the top was unbuttoned meant you could see just a bit of his chest and the marks that you had left there the previous night. Fuck, this man would be the death of you, “Oh, oh(!) okay,” His tone changed to one of playful understanding. You snapped your gaze back up to his face. A grin spread across his lips while you were floundering on what to say to him.

He walked over to where you were sitting at the breakfast bar and turned your stool around so he could slide himself between your thighs. His hand moved to your chin and pushed it up so your mouth was closed.

“You really like me in this, don’t you?” He teased as you looked up at him. You couldn’t help the way your eyes flicked across his body again. That shirt, honest to God, was doing something for you and you didn’t have a clue why. Your hand moved from your lap and up to his chest.

“Yeah,” You admitted. He chuckled and you dug your nails into his chest through the fabric, “Please wear this more often.” He couldn’t help how he was grinning. It was practically a smirk. He loved how easy it was to get you riled up sometimes and this hadn’t even been intentional but he found it endearing. He leant down, your faces inches apart.

“I will. Just for you,” He whispered against your lips before he pressed them together. It was such a soft kiss. He could taste the maple syrup on your lips as you tilted your head, deepening the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, tugging him down. He chuckled against your lips while his hands moved to rest against your hips, “Later,” He whispered as he pulled back. You groaned, pouting playfully.

“Is that a promise?” You asked. He hummed back in response noncommittally. You didn’t bother to argue against it. Instead, you returned to your pancakes while he made the two of you coffees to-go.

<3

[omeletcat]

SoulShattered is the name of my indie game that i have been working on for a while now!! Its a story driven pixel art bullet hell! This blog is for spreading the word about my game and recording every update and thing i add have for the future!

This post is a little info dump about everything i can share about it at this moment! so if you are in any way interested in a pixel art indie game that is coming out.. some day then follow and read this post!

STORY

The spirit world is a strange place in between earth and the afterlife, when a human is both alive and dead at the same time, they get trapped in the spirit world, A place with no sun or moon but stars lighting up the pitch dark sky. The spirit world is filled with.. spirits, humanoid creatures who just live their lives, but it is also filled with monsters. One day a human named Luca woke up in the spirit world, their soul shattered into pieces not being able to remember who they are. There they meet Rae a girl who has been looking for a way to leave the spirit world for years, Rae helps Luca  To try and find all the pieces of their soul together they will travel the spirit world trying to fix Luca's soul and find a way to get back to the human world.

this is the synopsis for my game! The main storyline is about Luca trying to repair their soul and wanting to fix their memories to remember who they were. But besides Luca there is also Rae the secondary main character. She has been in the spirit world for a long time, and has been trying to find a way to get back to earth but has been unsuccessful.

(here are some animations of Luca and Rae)

GAMEPLAY

I designed Soulshattered around moving the mouse around.

If the mouse is inside the circle it is defined as close, and if the player attacsk it will have a different attack than if it was outside of the circle.

the player has 2 attack buttons, left and right click. then it has 2 variants for both attacks a close and a far version. i am also planning on adding combo's that create a different attack if you click multiple attacks at once. turning it to around 6 attacks. The first game will only have 2 tho, because i wanna give them slowly over time.

Besides the attacks the player can also switch between Luca and Rae. Both have their own hp and energy bar that keep track of their energy, every time you attack the energy goes down and if you go to zero you are forced to switch to another character until it isfilled back up. My idea is that this will force the player to keep switching strategies because Rae and Luca have completely different attacks.

Beside that the player will also have to switch characters to solve puzzle's or for a strategic advantage against certain enemies.

Right now Luca has these attacks

1 Is a gravity punch, enemies that are hit with this get shot away, if it hits another enemy or a wall/object it takes damage depending on its speed. The enemy that got hit with another enemy (or an object like a crate) will also take damage.

2 Is a basic shoot attack where the player shoots a flying fist. the player will also use a flying fist in puzzle's to pick up stuff and move them around.

1 is a blast attack, i WANT to theme it around fireworks! caus thats rly cool but i haven't been able to make it look.. like fireworks so its an explosion rn

2 is a parry, if an enemy hits the sword when it's attacking it gets stunned for a bit and takes a lot of damage.

SCREENSHOTS

because i didn't rly know where else to put this here are some screenshot gifs on how the game looks rn!

WHERE I AM AT IN DEVELOPMENT AND WHAT I STIL HAVE TO DO TO GET CHAPTER 1 OUT THERE

right now i am working hard to get out a demo that contains the combat mechanics and a basic enemy ai, then i can see if people like what i have so far!

RELEASING

The game will be posted on itch.io and maybe steam to! it will however be released in parts! Because i have a very big story i wanna tell and i'm 100% sure i wouldn't be able to make it in one big part i will be releasing it in chapters! every chapter can therefor have a slight theme and semi self contained lesson and story!

the themes that i have in mind right now are these -Steampunk robot factory -disco/rave pyramids -Cloud mountain -Sea/pirate -murder mystery train -knights and castles

These are just idea's tho, don't look too much into them.

these would all have their own chapter of the game with an overarching story.

DEV INFO

For engine i use Godot! and gdscript as my language. for my art i use this website called pixilart.com but i wanna switch to aseprite when i get some money.

WHY

For ages my dream has been to simply make something amazing, i want to make art, or even something more, a piece of content that will inspire people. My ultimate goal with this game is to create something so amazing, that it will inspire people to make things of their own.

A story that will move people and stay with them for longer than the time it took to play the game.

A game that is fun to play and simply enjoyable and cool.

Something like the amazing shows and games that have inspired me over the years.

https://omeletcat.itch.io/soulshattered

this is the link for my itch.io page!

[aquarius-cookie-jar]

Right. I'mma just dump these ref sheets I made here because I'll be making some drawings with these guys, and I am bad at staying consistent within the design lmao.

I was inspired by these amazing designs, go check them out.

X || X || X.

Ramble down here, where I try to explain the ""lore"" and my design choices:

So as mentioned above, the majority of the Dark Cacao kingdom is actually composed of kirins, mainly because Cacao was already a kirin in my older designs, and I wanted more of his citizens to match him. Maybe I'll draw the other Cacao NPCs mlp-ified and what I headcanon their species to be.

I ultimately decided to give Cacao a mane and replace his long hair with that. Ngl, I was always on the fence about Cacao and Choco's designs, but yeah, I think the mane works better than just getting rid of it. (Old design below).

Btw, I dunno if I wanna give Cacao an actual crown, or just keep the additional horn things the leader of the kirins kinda have.

Dark Choco hasn't changed much, just in a different art style. I do however wanna say that he shaved off his mane out of shame and guilt for coming across the cursed sword not long after his banishment. Maybe when he and Cacao reconcile, he'll start to grow it out again, or maybe he'll keep it that way as a reminder of the past.

I actually drew (more like edited a screenshot) Caramel Arrow before, and she was originally just a pegasus, but honestly, the concept of hybrids and what they entail really intrigued me. I thought it would be fun if she were a hybrid kirin/pegasus.

Also, her horn doesn't exactly function, mainly because there's this headcanon I once came across a post that says faux alicorns do exist in the mlp canon. If you wanna know my full headcanon for this, feel free to shoot an ask, but to keep it short, for faux alicorns, either their wings are under developed, or their horn can't control the frequencies of magic that well or at all. Such is the case for Caramel Arrow. Though she has fully developed wings, she can't control magic with her horn, and if she tries to, it may cause a headache. But besides that, she's all fine and dandy.

Crunchy Chip, hm, I'd say when he was a little filly, he was found in the woods, either by Cacao, or Choco, and his horn was already broken by the time they came across him. When asked, the little guy said he was protecting the cream wolf pups from a monster, but he can't remember what else happened before he fell unconscious. As he grew older, his broken horn didn't really bother him anymore. He's adapted well, and picked up a thing or two about survival from his cream wolf pack.

Also, sidenote, the kirins' scales are actually very hard to dent, meaning their backs are usually safe from attacks. Crunchy once encountered... something when he was out on patrol, and he was out of commission for a week (to his incredible dismay + annoyance) because of how rare serious injuries to the kirins' backs occur.

Ah, Affogato. Actually, I really do like him as a character, I just tend to focus my attention towards the Celestia and Luna coded father-son duo a bit more. Oops. But anyway, I decided to make him a hybrid just like Carrow too, mainly to add both contrast and similarities between them. They're not too different, but their ideals and beliefs clash and cause conflict with one another, I just thought it was fitting. Also decided to give him a more elegant and curved horn design as a nod to his unicorn heritage. Unicorns in the Cacao kingdom (and maybe the Golden Cheese kingdom) have a curved horn, mainly because the east asian coded unicorns in the mlp canon have curved horns too, and I thought they looked beautiful. Affo is someone so elegant and refined in a land that's chaotic and holds danger everywhere.

And that's my unhinged thoughts for now. I think I'll design Licorice and the others next time, but no promises.

Anyway, thank you for reading.