#time as a symptom
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Time, As A Symptom ⏳🕰️ An illustration based on the song by Joanna Newsom, one of my favourites of all time 🥚🌾
“stand brave, life-liver,
bleeding out your days
in the river of time.
Stand brave:
time moves both ways.”
drawn whilst listening to the excellent explorative TAAS episodes of A Hopeless Endeavor 🐚 Joy!
Commissioned by Iolanthe who wanted a piece based on the song, thank you for approaching me to create this for you 🤍
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when these two speeches about love and grief come together in time, as a symptom by joanna newsom
#they get it#and i'm weeping over all of these. every. single. time.#joanna newsom#time as a symptom#greta gerwig#frances ha#phoebe waller-bridge#fleabag#love joanna#jnew
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Joanna Newsom at the End of the Road festival in 2016
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and it remains, it remains...
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But stand brave, life-liver
Bleeding out your days
In the river of time
Stand brave
Time moves both ways
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Video
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Joanna Newsom, Time, As A Symptom / Anecdotes (live, San Francisco, Nov. 25, 2019)
#Joanna Newsom#Time as a Symptom#Anecdotes#JNew#indie#folk music#indie music#indie folk#music#avant garde music
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Being chronically ill is like
“It’s fine”
“It’s fine”
“It’s fine”
*complete mental breakdown because you can’t do this anymore*
“It’s fine”
#I can feel the menty b coming#when I do a lot of activity I end up with sustained flu-like symptoms until I recharge but I don’t have time to recharge for 2 more days#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#disability#disabled#lupus#fibromyalgia#pots#autoimmine disease#invisible disability#invisible illness
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i'm sorry but i don't think we should call this the "autism website" when there's still posts with tons of notes mocking people who:
struggle with social skills / have anxiety around social settings
are unemployed / unable to work certain jobs
have intense or "age-inappropriate" interests
haven't had certain life experiences that are deemed universal/essential
struggle with personal hygiene
don't have any friends or dating experience
don't go outside much or at all
take things literally / don't get sarcasm/jokes
have unusual ways of speaking
generally aren't "normal"
#+ other things i'm probably forgetting rn#i know most of these apply to other disabilities too but i wanted to focus on autism bc of all the 'autism website' stuff#it's genuinely disturbing to see someone go 'lol autism website'#and then in the next breath be like 'omg look at this loser who [literal symptom of autism]'#but i guess when these people talk about autism they don't mean actual autism#but the tiktok style 'just a bit quirky but still able to assimilate into abled hegemony with ease' autism#i'm just tired of the hypocrisy#autism acceptance month is over now it's time for autism wrath month#being disabled on tumblr can be fucking awful sometimes. might take a break for a while bc i just don't have the energy to deal with it#autism#actually autistic#actuallyautistic
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"it's very problematic to make your space aliens autistic-coded" SPEAK FOR YOURSELF 👽👽👽👽👽🛸🛸🛸 ALIEN LASER BLAST ATTACK ✨✨✨🌠🌠🌠🌠🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
#when i was a very small very autistic kid and i saw invader zim for the first time i was like bro he just like me fr#my Also Autistic mom was always like you have to be nice to the humans ok. you have to trick them into thinking you're human#now that i'm better at actually dealing with The Symptoms i relate more to the uhhh non-planet-conquering aliens#shebbz shoutz#spock#superman#invader zim#actually autistic#autistic adult#autism
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moonlighting 🌚✨
i’m so rusty from not drawing for a whole semester (sobs) but its ok now because kaito's here
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated!)
#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#kaitou kid#magic kaito#kaito kuroba#dcmk#u may be thinking: star didn't u draw this but slightly to the left like a few months ago#yes BUT its not my fault he looks so good in blue#and u know he's always plotting something#lol i had this sitting in my wips folder for months and final exams is what motivated me to finally finish it#took my last one this morning so now im freeee#for four weeks#enough time to finish some zine stuff and draw arcane!#timebomb has me in a chokehold. wdym theyre best enemies.#WDYM NOW I NEED TO LEARN FRENCH#also guys...i literally had a dream where i was working on this painting#and then i woke up to another week of academic hell with 0 (zero) time for drawing#withdrawal symptoms...#thinking abt all the drawings i could've made but didn't have time for is actually heartbreaking
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guys i promise i have other ideas i just go back to drawing domestic jegulus at every minor inconvenience
#me having 10 started wips#and my brain just goes#LISTEN... HEAR ME OUT... WHAT IF... BARE WITH ME NOW... we draw jegulus sleeping together for the 285th time#i think i keep drawing sleeping ppl bc i cant sleep myself#youve heard of living through someone else now get ready for sleeping through someone else#googling “insomnia symptoms” every 3 days just to make sure#anyways where was i going with this...#marauders era#marauders fanart#regulus black#james potter#regulus black fanart#jegulus#james potter fanart#jegulus fanart#my art
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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oh god this is making my heart rush, making me cry so much. the holding of those notes. i can feel it in my bones.
#wow what a performance#do i have heart issues or am i transcending?#joanna newsom#time as a symptom#strings/keys reincidence#reincidence 5#love joanna#jnew
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Time, as a Sympton by Joanna Newsom
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I don't usually repost daily doodle acc stuff on other platforms but what is whitrei agenda without whitrei
#drdt#danganronpa despair time#arei nageishi#whit young#drdt fanart#i love them so much#i miss them#whitrei withdrawal symptoms
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this isn't THRIVING... this is FALLING APART... with STYLE
#sci speaks#the sci files#I’ve been chasing up a lot of strange symptoms I’ve been having that . haven’t been causing me pain but#you know . unanswered questions .#turns out I’ve been fighting a battle with my biology all this time and didn’t Know because I was fighting so well.#keep fighting sci .. keep fighting ..#I will WIN… Lord watch me I will win..#I have a tumor. his name is Lamar.#I’m gonna miss him when he’s gone. But he Has To Go.#the burden of being so good at coping . when something is actually Wrong nobody believes you
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