#thus why he goes everywhere with me

[sideshow-cellophane-blog]

He goes everywhere with me :) There is something comforting about having a friend with you out and about.

- He likes chilling near windows and judging other people with me

- Sassy as shit

- Yes he has a Lupin to come home to but no Goe yet :( Still looking for a relatively cheap one but they're RARE

- Enjoys cooking and being part of one-sided conversations

- Hard-headed. Literally. Refuses to give up his hat and will die for it. Also literally. It's attached to all of his replacement expressions.

- Watches crime shows with me (Narcos currently)

[affectionatecorpse]

Okay so I see some people are debating what the monster from Still Wakes the Deep is. I'm inspired by the support from my Death Angel post, so I'm gonna try giving an analysis. Now science is not my strong suit, I'm much better at zoology, but here we go.

Of course, spoilers ahead!

So, the entity comes to light in act one. While Caz is being yelled at by his power drunk boss, Rennick, a worker going by the name Gibbo calls up to say there's an issue with the drill, something highlighted earlier by another worker. Rennick orders the drilling anyway, and thus begins the nightmare, as the drill seems to unearth and awaken a destructive parasite out for revenge. But I don't think that's as deep as it goes, pun intended.

Let's say, the creature is a parasite. A form of near sentient bacteria, though take that description with a grain of salt, I'm no scientist. Parasites simply cannot live on their own. That's an objective fact. They need a host. They exist within another for survival and breeding purposes, and multiply and spread through the body of another.

Parasites, bacteria and even fungi can live underground for years, and have been discovered to do so. Ancient lifeforms have been discovered just under the surface of earth, let alone deep underneath the ground and in the bottom of our oceans, one of the most complex and diverse biomes that our current science has barely scratched the surface of. It's highly likely this creature is a self replicating bacteria or parasite that was unearthed by the drill, and took up new hosts to survive in this change of environment.

But not every host worked. You can see half transformed, mutilated bodies everywhere, and some that haven't even changed at all. These bodies could not support the parasite and shortly died.

However, a few select hosts DID end up surviving; Gibbo, Muir, Rennick, Addair and Trots. It's unclear what sets these people apart from the others, and I don't know enough about this topic to claim an answer. But I certainly do think these folks died soon into the transformation, and are not fully conscious in the body. They frequently repeat terms and phrases, and never say anything you might expect from an entity possessing them, implying it's borrowing words and sentences that have been said by the host before, in other circumstances.

The entity plays with Caz's memories and definitely the others' too, though not all of them good. It wouldn't be a surprise to realise that's where it's getting information about it's host, as it reads the memories inside the brain to learn faces, names, and even the host's personality. Which makes me wonder, does it even realise what it looks like? Does the creature itself actually realise it's a parasite? Or does it completely and fully believe it is the person it's connected itself to? It almost downloads their personality and tries to pretend like everything is completely normal.

Let's talk about arguably the best monster (in my opinion), Muir. Muir moves about the area he frequently worked as what I assume was an engineer. He roams the familiar ground, almost unsure of why he's by himself. He often calls out to his coworkers, wondering out loud why they're treating him like he's different. Sure, this could be the real Muir's consciousness slipping in and out of the seams, but it's highly unlikely he would still be alive. Much like the zombie fungus, as it's often called, the host is not alive when the fungus is controlling it, and is merely a puppet. If the spiders it was corrupting could talk, I daresay, they'd be acting like them. Taking their place in the world, even if they don't realise it.

But every animal needs to eat. And eventually, that body is going to run out of tasty, tasty neurons. Like I said earlier, a parasite needs to spread. It'll breed, then spread to another to keep it's species alive. By infiltrating a 'pack' of animals, it will take anything to spread to the others. Which is exactly what the parasite does whenever it sees another human. Either that, or it will consume them, theoretically to feed the host so it stays alive, while keeping those tasty, tasty neurons for itself. You can almost see this process with Innes, as the elevator ascends without him, and you just faintly see Muir doing something in the distance. Likely consuming him for nutrients, as he was not connected to the parasite yet.

Next, there's Addair.

Addair, much like Muir, patrols familiar ground. Even though Addair himself wasn't even in that area when the drill struck. Now Muir was actively in that familiar space in the beginning, and it's safe to assume that's his place of transformation. But Addair was eating in the cafeteria when the incident happened, not deep down in the engine. Did he go down when the impact happened, while Caz was unconscious? Maybe. But the lights were fine then, and the engine wasn't the problem, so he didn't need a reason to. Plus, he doesn't seem like the type to be work dedicated, more inconvenience dedicated. Considering what I said about the parasite (badly) taking their place in society, did it go to his place of work after detecting that as his 'natural environment', per se?

Plus, unlike Muir, who greets the situation with quotes of confusion, fear and anxiety, Addair is instantly aggressive. Even an asshole like Addair is likely to panic if conscious in this situation, so the nervousness was Gibbo and Muir exclusive. But Addair and Rennick become immediately angry upon seeing Caz, as they actively disliked him in life, and so the parasite processes him as a foe to it's host. I thought that was neat.

Now another take I have admittedly heard from several other people, but I thought was worth mentioning. The monsters are incredibly similar to sea creatures. Which means this underwater bacteria was possibly leaking out already, and transforming our animals, not enough to completely corrupt them, but enough to twist their bodies. Think of the appearances of deep, deep sea creatures, such as the anglerfish. Isn't it possible this parasite was responsible for their uncanny appearance, in this universe? Muir especially looks like a spider crab, or perhaps even a bigfin squid.

Which again, is a deep sea creature. Rennick also reminds me of a blobfish once removed from the pressure of the deep sea. Addair seems very jellyfish-like, but may be something else very... tick-like. And even Trots gives me major merfolk vibes, with how untouched his torso is in comparison to his lower half.

This parasite could have been feeding off the neurons and breeding through our very ecosystem as the ground slowly gave away above it. The drill unearthing the source likely gave it a burst of control as so much energy was released at once, hence why it was so fast to literally spiral out of control.

But Scotland, by all means, is not the only place in the world connected to the ocean. Sure, they destroyed this batch, but other forms of this parasite live on elsewhere on earth. And the explosion may not have even destroyed it. It definitely would've destroyed the host bodies, yes, but certain bacterias can survive impressive damage, even heat hot enough to burn off human flesh. We'd best hope this is not one of those bacterias.

I didn't really get as far with this observation as I did with other horror studies, but I had fun nonetheless! Like I said, I'm really better with zoology (hence the sudden enthusiasm when I started on sea creatures), but I loved Still Wakes the Deep SO much that I just wanted to write down my thoughts. If you have any other theories, feel free to add them!

Also if I used your pictures/gifs and you would like me to add credit, I am so so sorry, I will absolutely add that as soon as you say so, I just got most of these off Google and couldn't find most the original sources. So yeah if you'd like me to add your name and mention, or you want me to remove it in general, feel free to just say and I'll add it, I don't bite I promise. Well... I won't bite YOU.

Sorry sorry, had to make a zombie reference--

[pedge-page]

Imagine baby Sarah getting paint all over the house and marker all over the walls and paint stains of her foot prints everywhere and reader gets emotional about the “art” and tries to convince Joel to keep the mess

Joel Dealing with Sarah - Art

- - - -

Joel never realized just how much damage and unsupervised 2 year old year old can do in 5 minutes. He was used to an immobile Sarah, whether that be needing carried everyone or just seeing how far she can crawl. But when she grew new able bodied lightening legs? It was a new level of parenting he didn’t fully think through.

 Art and colors were all the rage at this age. He has so many squiggly, scratched out, vomitous “art” pieces hanging on the fridge. And it didn’t matter what you wanted her to draw. her uncoordinated hands could only stab and streak across paper. And thus, Yellow streak was Spoon, blue streak was mom, and stabbed holes were Dad.

He had grabbed something very quickly in the kitchen before coming back to supervise the kid who was coloring with her fist and an upside down crayon on a very large sheet of paper. Only now, she was nowhere to be found. There were crayons and pencils and paper scattered all over the floor, but no baby. 

More horrifically, he did notice the box with all her art supplies was left opened, and the vacant spot that held her child-safe paint tubes were missing.

“Oh Shit.”

He’s checking behind the couch and then back into the kitchen in case he didn’t notice maybe she had followed her in there.

“Sarah,” he announces cautiously, but his voice echoes in the house.

He contines into the entry way when the first clue emerges: a bitty pink paint foot print.

“Oh Shit. Sarah!”

He runs up stairs, following the ever growing number of painted footprints left in her trail, and then splotches on the newly painted walls, fingers and smudged handprints like a multicolored serial killer following its injured victim up the stairs. 

“Shitshitshit,” he mumbles, putting his thumb to his tongue and trying to blotch it out quick. The paint was pretty damn un-eraseable with saliva alone.

“SARAH,” he booms more angrily. Nice daddy was on his way out, damned be your soft Mommy reaction.

The girl was getting spanked.

Finally rounding the corner to the master bedroom, he sees the little monster happily squiggling on his walls and she dances side to side. Her hair and face and clothes and skin were covered in paint, as if rolling her whole body along ever possible surface.

Hands on his hips, puffing steam through his ears, he opens his mouth.

The front door clicks open, and both Joel and Sarah’s ears perk up as your familiar footsteps enter the home.

“Oh my god!” You shout, undoubtedly noticing the horrendous streaks of paint all over your walls.

Sarah gets to her feet and barrels past Joel, hoping to see her Momma because FUCK this boring guy.

He smirks, knowing you’re gonna throw a fit. That THIS time Sarah and her behavior won’t slide, and you’ll take the fury out on her.

“Did you make art baby!” You shout excitedly as you finally see her waddle towards you. She coos giddily as you scoop her up. 

Joel frowns and makes his way to you. “Excuse me??”

“Oh hi Daddy.” You wave him off casually with a barely-kiss to the cheek. “Aww honey you got paint all over your hair little bean.” You kiss her forehead, all wrapped up in your arms and hanging off your hip. “Show momma what you made.”

You put her down and the two of you make your way past a very bewildered and near exploding Joel.

On your knees, Sarah directs you to her “artwork” all over the walls like an art gallery. She goes on with her gibberish words and you listen as intently as if it were English. 

He clears his throat. 

“Hmm?”

“I’m spanking her, right?”

You narrow your brows. “What?”

“Are you kidding me? What do you mean ‘what’.” He gestures to the destroyed walls. “I gotta repaint the whole house!”

“WHAT! Why would you do that???? We’re keeping it like this.”

He’s so ready to dunk you in time out too. 

“Joel its art—“

“This aint art—it’s a god damn mess! All over the walls? Baby, she can’t just do this.”

“But its her self expression, its probably one of the few ways we can try to understand her beauty— she could be a picasso when she grows up--"

“ITS SCRIBBLES. And she’s got it out for me,” he narrows his eyes to Sarah, scowling. “If you won’t let me discipline her—“

“She’s two--“

“Then at least let me make this house right.”

You cross your arms over your chest. Sarah looks up and does the same, minicking the disappointment on your face. 

“You never let us do anything fun,” you pout. “Always destroying things that make us happy.”

“Don’t you start on that,” he growls with a pointed finger. “She painted the walls, and she’s not allowed to do that.”

“If I painted the walls, would you tell me I can’t?”

He’s very tempted to say yes because you’d make a mess, but prevents the words from leaving his mouth. “No…”

Dignified, you announce: “Then I say my baby can paint the walls the way she wants.” 

He lets out a long, defeated sigh. “Staircase. Starcaise is only place she can have paint. I’m painting over everything else.”

You think it through, but nod. “Fine. And We will make it beautiful.”

He closes his eyes ask you and mini-boss version of you Sarah make your way, baby finger in your hand, out of the bedroom.

He lies down face forward in bed, and bites down on the pillow to muffle his shout.

-

The next day is Saturday. He had a project in the morning that helped distract him from the mess of his own home.

When he walks in, he’s immediately greeted with your bear hug.

He smiles and kisses your forehead. You’re covered in streaks of paint, some of which clearly wiped on your hair and lips without you realizing. 

“Keeping busy I see?” He chuckles.

“I think it’s coming along.”

True to your word, he’s impressed with the transformation. Once a plain beige, then a hodgepodge of paint, you had gone over and added creative detailing to the colors and mishap that Sarah had splotched over and made a unique design of flowers, suns, meadows and rivers, free flowing patterns and shapes that felt full of life and artistic workmanship, making the whole thing look intentional.

He wraps his arm around your shoulders and admires the work. “You really know how to save that kid, don’t you?”

You nuzzle your face into his sweaty chest.

‘Speaking of, where is…?”

You widen your eyes and look around, forgetting that Sarah had abandoned her post of watching you. 

“Oh SHIT!” You shout, running down towards the living room.

Sarah had somehow gotten a fresh coating of paint all over the new dress you bought, and her poor victim today was helpless Spoon, who stares at you remorsefully. She is sitting quite obediently as Sarah splotches her little pink handprints on the dog’s head and back.

“Ankles weights,” Joel says plainly, observing with a little nod at the scene as you go to yell at Sarah about painting the damn dog. “How about baby ankle weights?”

"Order them now," you seethe, grabbing her hand and Spoon's collar and stomping off the the bath tub to get them clean.

Joel rolls his lips in circle motion, trying not to smile to himself.

- - - -

Taglist

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[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

thought to myself u know what. i havent watched falsettos enough. so here's a couple things i noticed in my latest impromptu rewatch (rewatch number 52th probably?? 67th?) + just some nice bits n parallel that are always Good (tm):

"he loves another" "i agree" with ("-man") going unsaid

the chess games following trina's song about stupid men and their little games

"that's the king. please protect him" That's marvin saying "please protect me. don't hurt me"

whizzer moves the pieces randomly in the revival but i like to imagine he's actually beating marvin at the game in the end... and the whole thing was him pretending to not know how to play, and that hurt marvin's ego more than anything

"now marvin, bend" as a sexy moment but later gets re-framed as a "unwillingness to change perspective" moment

"nothing is everything to me / except sex / and money" in that money whizzer is playing to marvin's insecurity that he's only sticking with marvin for his money- is so needlessly cruel (and thus such... delicious character writing lol)

"and he loves me so" that "so" at the end is sort of a "loves me so much" but also a dare. he loves me, so what can you even do about that?"

"ask me if i love him, it depends on the day"// "do i love him?… no"

"son with a brain, and nice bright mother" showing mendel is like marvin (+ many, many men) and wants a wife half just to do domestic labor for him (goes well with the "washing your laundry, washing your socks!" line)

"he loves his father" // "i love things i never had"

"im everything he wanted" here trina finally realizes how she was such a insecure woman for such a long time and why she could put up with so much / settle for so little ("love me for what i am, not what i try to be" etc)

i love that "what ive done to you is rotten" is the slap to trina, is not taking to jason about his sexuality, and is Also telling trina and jason he "never ever, wanted to love" them. triple treat of bad parenting lol (but our man gets there in the end #bless him)

"a man kid, you'll be kid, whatever your song" the kind of reversed coming out metaphor of it all. ugh. so good!! (also i always cry at this bit bc... i will never have this with my parents :) rip haha whoops)

"pretty boys are in demand" just a good line for the whole gay men dying everywhere + the 'dating frenzy' energy of the era

"im not a giant man" /"good" // "one day i hope to be / as mature as my son who is 12 and a half / and this tall… that's all i want to be, that's all"

"we'll spent BILLIONS of dollars" and then the actual thing plays the way it does

"making the most pathetical errors" as a metaphor for marvin's arc…. making constant errors in love but making a homerun at the end

"should i take this new promotion OR should i take this IBM job?" is an amazing, anti-corporate lyric that fits greatly w/ the most explicitly political (likely authorial) song in the musical that, imho, shouldn't have been cut in the revival. in hindsight tho i imagine the revival people felt very proud and """progressive""" when they made that cut lol is very much a typical liberal move: "cant have true emancipation or revolutions but u cant have some \~upward mobility in the job market xoxo". also on the same vein, cutting the line "i'll change my life, and hire a maid" from the og "and fire the maid" like it's this huge feminist moment lol ughhhh hh

(other line-cuts that frustrate me… "it's queer, mr. marvin", "i could use a little drink" and "i just bought a family" . i feel w/ all of these they tooks some "edge" of the OG characters and kind of attempted to make them "nicer". but it really just makes them a little flatter, a little less real) ( and also some scenes just plain make less sense (marvin's drink line leading to his outburst)

(but bc it's not All Bad sdklfj in fairness, i belie the whole "why don't we tell him, that we don't have the awnsers? (…) this is the start to his becoming a man" bit - is SUCH a great part for mendel, it goes so hard and from what i remember is not in the original falsettos? correct me if im wrong but if it was a new addition in the revival, imo it's a huge improvement to the scene flow… and dare i say, brings the whole climax together, and spells out The Aesop for people who hadn't gotten it by the end of Act 2) -"let me go, im not ashamed to have loved you" // "what's the matter trina, darling, why cant you let go?" -"feel all right for the rest of your life" The Message of the play implicit in it.. "even if it's cut short"

"you save lives, and i serve chicken fat / i can't fucking deal wit hthat" / "maybe is not dumb the way this whole thing ends / the food tastes really yummy!"

"it's about growing up, getting older, living on a lover's shoulder" /"but i confess, you grow up, you get old, you hate less"

"the ground shifting, the rules keeps changing" and it's when the set changes for the first time!!! (/eats all my walls)

"isn't it enough i love you every night?" "who?" // "we had trouble parking, just like on our second date" "i hyperventilate"

"good men never fail" // "but i can't help but feeling i've failed " proving once again those machista lessons marvin learned when young were wrong.... it's clear that him showing weakness at that moment to whizzer was The Right Thing To Do. and what the moment called for.

"the last little mountain ill climb" sound of music ref? maybe?

i only wanted to love and not be blamed " // "who would i blame my life on?"

[4str0nuts]

DEEP DIVE INTO HORROPEDIAS AUTISTIC CODING : A GIANT ANALYSIS THING

ALTERNATE TITLE IS WHY THE FANDOM SHOULD CHECK OUT HOW THEY TREAT AUTISTIC CHARACTERS

Disclaimer before I go in; i’m using the global translations and the english voice acting as I am on the global server lol. This may affect some things but hopefully not a lot! Also i’m using this video [https://youtu.be/ygAkz4L2AMo?si=elrUeXGompMKYXUJ] for my proof and will provide timestamps!

Horropedia is one of the most loved characters in Reverse:1999 (bc haha funny autistic guy) , yet I literally see no serious posts discussing his character or even going into his character— even at a basic level. I’ve kinda been off to the side observing how the fandom treats Horropedia and it makes me question if people actually like him or some alternate version of him. Yeah sure this is a problem in every fandom but I’m too attached to Horropedia and i’m going to make it everyone’s problem.

There's all sorts of mischaracterisations of him where his autism is reduced to him being an “asshole” and “uncaring”, or that he is some funny reddit meme sona when that’s the case at all! Every other character gets to have serious posts yet when it comes to a very blatant autistic coded character, suddenly no one knows how to act despite the fact the fandom (going off of the twitter fandom here) prides itself on neurodivergency; so I’m here to dump a ton of analysis on Horropedia using ingame sources as proof as well as my own knowledge (as someone who is autistic myself), whilst also debunking mischaracterisations of him. I’m also doing this as I don’t think people treat Horropedias autistic coding seriously, seeing it as silly and thus ignoring all of his character.

Jumping straight in, Horropedia is not an asshole and is actually quite a caring character, even if he doesn’t show it conventionally. To me, it’s quite obvious that he cannot understand people at an emotional level, and always relies on his logical way of thinking no matter the situation; for example, when he broke Blonneys camera, he clearly does not understand why she is mad/upset and instead tries to comfort her logically rather than emotionally. Even when Blonney is very much showing she is mad, Horropedia cannot process that and cannot understand until she actually explains it [Part 5 54:07-57:20]. I can see why people may see it as an asshole move since he tells her to be “reasonable” over the camera breaking, though it is clear that this is another one of his autistic traits as people with autism have a hard time connecting with others’ in an empathetic way(which can come off as being blunt and uncaring) yet no one seems to mention that. Despite this, he still offers her to buy her a new camera once Blonney vents out to Jessica, coming to terms with what he did and making it up to her. [Part 12 2:10:37]

Adding onto the last point, Horropedia shows concern and care multiple times throughout the story. Even if he is bad at comforting people, he still tries to acknowledge what is wrong in regards to the situation. I’m trying to keep this short as I don’t necessarily think this is due to his autism but a cool detail I found with the English voice acting is that his tone gets softer when he’s more genuine (it could be seen as masking but shrug. Not too sure on this one as I'm making this point to show he does care in his own way.) He constantly makes sure everyone is safe and goes out of his way to protect others [Part 4 51:08 , Part 6 1:16:18-1:16:39], which is a small detail I think people gloss over. It’s just nice seeing Horropedia care for others in his own way since I struggle with expressing affection / emotions like him.

Back to his way of thinking, it’s practically plastered everywhere that he thinks in a logical way and takes everything at face value no matter what, which is a trait associated with autism. At the very start of the very event, he even breaks down Vertins joke and still a conclusion was that she wasn’t the person he was looking for (knowing full well she was) [Part 1 11:06-11:50]. Horropedia also explains things at face value— in a basic and straightforward way no matter what it is, which is another example of not truly understanding things at an emotional level! [Part 9 1:42:45-1:43:09]This does not mean he does not consider the consequences of a situation, and Horropedia actively avoids situations where it poses a threat / harm to others. Mentioning this to point out how some people in the fandom treat him like he is stupid?— Despite how he is the basic definition of a nerd with references to it all over his character and voice lines! Yes, he could be seen as careless considering he goes to Green Lake just like that with no approval, but he certainly isn’t oblivious to dangers around him. Horropedia himself explains that he is into horror movies because of how illogical they are(stating how it is like a puzzle), not necessarily the fear of them; so it makes no sense for Horropedia to directly put himself or others in harm's way.

Still relating to his way of thinking, Horropedia uses his horror logic so he can understand situations around him. He directly links back to his special interest to understand things— and to an extent others— better, special interests are a trait exclusive to autistic people! By using his horror special interest, he can understand the world better from his perspective. I don't even need to get examples of this because throughout the Green Lake event he makes references and links to horror movies, basing predictions on what to do in order to survive in the stereotypical like scene of Green Lake. Horropedia is full of reasoning, and despite his “debatable manners” (thanks Sonetto),he is not always too absurd with his predictions. It baffles me that people treat Horropedia like he is some happy-go-lucky kid, running head first into danger; he takes the time to understand a given situation in a way he would understand before doing anything.

Another really obvious thing is that he can’t understand social cues, or the body languages of others at all. Essentially he cannot read the room. The whole “I know the rules of social courtesy” [Part 12 2:19:19] line doesn’t necessarily mean he understands social cues— rules are (usually) based in logic and reasoning, and not emotions. Social courtesy just means the rules of society (or the foundation in this case? eh), and Horropedia knows he HAS to abide by the rules or else he will be in trouble. Something seen as ‘basic’ and ‘simple’ to people considered ‘normal’ by society may be hard to grasp by people who do not benefit from society (autistic people). Horropedia understands the ‘logical reasoning’ of how someone acts but he can’t connect with or understand someone else’s emotional responses. Literally look at most of his interactions with the film crew and Blonney, Jessica even steps in at one point to stop him from making the fight between Jason and Blonney worse [Part 6 1:11:38]; and even then he tries to use logic to break down the situation. Horropedia can’t pick up on social cues for the life of him, including body language and tone.

Smaller point here but I have a feeling Horropedia’s tone is hard to understand to some of the characters. Tooth Fairy couldn’t tell if Horropedia was joking towards the end of the event , where he shows off his “sense of humour”. Nothing much to add here I just found that really interesting…

Ive rinsed out all the notes I’ve taken on Horropedias autistic coding so far…….. feel free to add on more….. I may have gotten some things wrong because I have been working on this for a few hours straight. Surprisingly I still have more to analyse outside of his autism so if people are interested let me know bc i’m desperate .

TLDR: horropedia is autistic thanks for reading.

[letterex-fyofm]

tskym thought because finals are over wii

Most people talk about how Tadashi puts Tsukki on a pedestal. I actually thought that the first time I watched Haikyuu. I thought that Tadashi's moment consisted of him standing up to Tsukki and pushing him off the pedestal and finally having both of them stand on the same level

Now I rewatched Haikyuu, and rewatched it again and again. Read bits of the manga, watched stage plays, read Furudate's statements, you get the gist.

I don't think Tadashi ever put Tsukki on a pedestal. I think we can all agree that Kei is pretty cool. If anything, his moment at the Shiratorizawa match served to confirm it to us. Tadashi always saw his friend for who he was, someone cool. Yeah, Kei may not view it that way. We know very well how low his self-esteem used to be. Which is funny, since his best friend looks at him as if he is the one who hung up the stars in the sky. Kei doesn't think he is worthy of that look, and he tells Yamaguchi to be quiet. Because he knows how it feels to admire someone so much and then be disappointed when they fail to reach your expectations. Akiteru lied to protect the image his little brother had of him. Kei tells Yamaguchi to be quiet to prevent other people get that image of him which he thinks it's false.

But Tadashi laughs and says a sorry he doesn't really mean, because Tadashi knows it is true. And thus, Tsukki gives up and rolls with what Yamaguchi says.

That's what gets Tadashi so mad. Because he knows his friend is so cool, so why is he acting so lame? Tadashi never says "you're lame", but "you're being lame". He never chews down Tsukki in his rant but instead reminds him of the attributes he has. Tsukki is tall, he is smart. He could be the best if he wanted. Why can't he see that?

Tadashi didn't kick Tsukki from the pedestal he had built, because there was never a pedestal in the first place. There is a popular phrase that goes around everywhere: what I would give to make you see yourself in the way I see you. For me, their fight in the training camp was Tadashi shoving a mirror in front of Kei's face, both to make him realise how lame he is acting and how much it didn't suit someone as cool as him.

But Kei doesn't see that, because he is too busy seeing Tadashi.

I think Kei too had the image of Tadashi that I used to have: that Tadashi had him on a pedestal. And of course, that is not really cool. Kei resents his younger self for putting so much pressure on his brother. Maybe he thinks that, even if Tadashi was sincere, their friendship was not. For him, Tadashi loved someone who Kei was not. Just like little Kei admired someone Akiteru was not. Was that maybe why he appeared so closed off to Yamaguchi during the first chapters?

But Tadashi had the guts to grab him from his collar, jank him front and back, and yell at his face: What more do you need than pride.

So, Tadashi sees Kei as who he is. A flawed person, who is still cool. And the Tadashi who was a reflection of Kei's younger self, a lost boy who didn't know better, that image shatters in front of Kei's eyes. Because Tadashi was never looking up to an illusion but looking at Kei straight in the eyes.

And the Tadashi Kei sees is someone really cool. And that really cool guy thinks he is cool.

So, even if he is not convinced, he goes to ask for help to gym 3. And we know the rest of the story.

[zykamiliah]

what about bingqiu?

this is my response to this post. i didn't want to reply in the same post because it's going to get really long, and i disagree with almost everything, so this way i may avoid the discourse. haha. anyway, i'm gonna try to answer each of op's points.

-why bingqiu are a couple:

♦ because despite everything, they've chosen each other. not because they're soulmates (though mxtx did pull the string of fate thing), but because they genuinely want to spend time together

it's very subtle but they do share some values and similarities: they both repay kindness with kindness and believe that one should pay back those who hurt you twofold/tenfold. furthermore, they are both petty bitches. as @fireandgrimstone pointed out here, they're both busybodies: they get restless if they aren't doing something.

on that note: self-preservation is not a core value they share. sqq is terrible at self-preservation. from the first moment, instead of minding his own business, he risked losing points (which would terminate his account and kill him) just to protect binghe when he was being bullied by ming fan and co. sqq couldn't stand by watching someone being bullied. then during the demon invasion, he was ready to risk his own life to protect all the cqm disciples. he was willing to self-destruct to take out sha hualing.

the thing is that sqq likes to lie about himself and say everything he does is out of self-preservation, but it isn't true.

so, if it wasn't out of self preservation, why did sqq pushed binghe into the endless abyss? yes, it needed to happen, but he didn't do it to save himself. he can't hurt binghe just to protect himself. he did it because he brainwashed himself into believing this was the best for binghe, that binghe needed to in order to become strong and achieve his fate.

(chapter 4: conference)

♦ because they give each other what they need. consistent love, support and understanding was something lbh really needed, and those 2-3 years before the immortal alliance conference did wonders for binghe to allow himself to feel vulnerable and be more in touch with his own feelings. this will get screwed up post-endless abyss but sqq does encourage him in the extras to express his feelings and talk about what he thinks and feels.

now, what lbh gives to sqq may not seem obvious (thank you for the help, luuny!♥), since sqq's layered narration is tricky to deconstruct, but by the end of the novel lbh can get past sqq's tsundere/savin face bullshit. sqq has all his toxic masculinity ideas and internalized homophobia that he keeps dragging everywhere he goes, and his relationship with lbh, who was supposed to be the epitome of masculinity, has allowed him to shed off some of it. but not all. thus, lbh knows when sqq needs to be pushed or coaxed into doing something he already wants to do but thinks he shouldn't want and doesn't know how to justify (sex for example). lbh also gives sqq the whole domestic package: someone to dote on, someone that does the chores and takes care of him, because frankly sqq is good at many things but he fails at self-care.

♦ domesticity and companionship. for bingqiu it wasn't like other couples who were first attracted to each other from one reason or another and from then on the relationship developed. the first period of their relationship is mostly platonic (poor binghe is suffering the teenage hormones), and was based on the easy domesticity and companionship they shared. and honestly that's such a simple yet beautiful kind of love. they genuinely like spending time together, living together, talking to each other. they never get bored of being together or of each other, which brings me to

♦ the obsession. like, it's honestly hilarious how obsessed they are with each other. sy was already obsessed with pidw protagonist bingge, but in svsss he got to love and get obsessed all over again with his own binghe aka bingmei. and from lbh's pov it's more or less the same: he had a complicated relationship with original sqq, which was the start of it all, but the person he loves is not the cold shizun from the past who he needs to prove himself to, but the one that's always trying to protect him, even if it's from himself. in both cases, their relationship started with distance, with the shadow of the other version of each other they'd known before. but what made them fall in love weren't those ghosts from the past, but the person they could see underneath it all: the hardworking boy that just wanted to be loved, and the closeted man who wants to give love and help others and have a purpose and belong to something (binghe understands that sqq would be unhappy if he couldn't visit cqm, qjp and his sect siblings). this relates to the fact that

♦ they understand each other better than anyone else. it takes them time, but that's the point of their journey and by the time we read about their relationship in the extras, we can see that despite everything, they not only understand each other very well but actively try to understand each other better. they already made the mistake of making too many assumptions, and they're not doing that again.

________________

another point that op got wrong:

off the top of my head an example would be how bingge (he-with-no-shen-yuan) took a harem of beauties so he could control xin mo but bingmei (he-with-shen-yuan) decided to just... cripple people's cultivation (...) what i'm getting at is that binghe was willing to pay other people's lives just so he didn't have to be intimate with anyone except shen yuan.

bingge too was cripping other cultivators to get ride of the excess of demonic qi, it's just that after he captured the three nuns from tianyi overlook they taught him how to achieve the same result using dual cultivation. (thanking @stardust-falling for their notes on this topic!)

(chapter 9: borderlands)

[hockeyboysimagines]

May I request smut for Arber Xhekaj? Maybe one where the female reader works for the Habs team and she and Arber catch feelings??

Okay I really hope you like this. This is the first time I’ve ever written for him and I only just put him on my list. If this goes well, haha, I’ll start planning for something longer with him. Here’s hoping 🤞🏻

You often wondered why you had a penchant for putting yourself in the situations that you did.

Dumb? A glutton for punishment? High?

All three you decided as you sat there, squirming in your seat as Arber stared at you.

To say you had a crush on him was putting it mildly. It was beyond that now.

Being the social media manager for an NHL team was supposed to be easy. Great hours, great pay, great atmosphere, and thus far all of those things had turned out to be true but what they hadn’t prepared you for was Arber.

The first time you saw him, you’d actually frozen mid sentence and lost your whole train of thought when you made eye contact. Your face got red, you stumbled over your words and your stomach jumped into your throat. You nearly tripped over your own feet and quickly hurried to your office and away from him, slamming the door behind you and shaking yourself like a dog.

Who the fuck was that?

A deep dive told you what you needed to know and you decided that day you would stay as far away from him as you could.

Which turned out to not be very far at all.

He was everywhere. Brushing against you as he moved past, making it a point to sit next to you whenever he could, or completely invading your personal space on the regular. You came home each day exhausted and in need of a cold shower. It felt like an uphill battle to avoid him, and you were actually glad when they were gone on road trips because it meant you had a few days of peace now and again.

Today was one of those rare peaceful days. Practice had ended some hours ago, you were the only one really in the arena at all, and you were humming along to yourself while you did some paperwork when a knock sounded on your door.

“Come in.” You called, assuming it was the mailman or someone dropping something off but when you heard the door open and close and no voice announcing themselves you looked up and to your horror you found Arber standing inside your office.

Your pen slipped from your hand, hit the desk and you felt your whole body get hot.

“Can I-what-can I help you?” You asked clearing your throat nervously. You felt a little sweaty and hot and took a deep breath to cool down.

“I think so. Do you dislike me or something?”

“No-“

“Or do you like me too much and that’s why you run every time I come near you.”

You stumbled over your words as he took a step forward, reaching back to pull the door completely shut behind him, a small click to signify that it locked from the outside.

You were both nervous, scared and excited as he made his way slowly forward until he was close enough that you stood from your chair. You stood staring at him and then cleared your throat “So did you need help with something then?”

“Do you?” He looked you up and down “Need help with something?”

“Me? What do you mean?”

“You seem nervous.”

“Nervous?” You chuckled a little and started moving things around with shaking hands “Why would I be nervous?”

“You tell me.” He smiled and blocked your path as you went to move around him. You stopped and looked up at him realizing how gigantic he actually was now that you were that close to him. You swallowed thickly and took a deep breath as you watched one giant hand reach up to brush a strand of hair from your cheek and tuck it behind your ear. He moved it down the side of your neck, long fingers moving across your collarbone, and pushing your hair completely over your shoulder.

“Arber.” You whispered. The air in your office seemed to freeze completely and you gave a little shiver despite the heat that you felt in your face. If someone had struck a match, the room would have exploded.

“Hmmmmm?” He was still staring at you unblinking, hand burning your skin as it rested by the base of your throat “Do you want me to stop?”

You shook your head and titled your chin up a little letting out a breath as he moved in agonizingly slow.

Kissing Arber was everything you had dreamed it would be, but also got out of hand pretty quickly. It had been very sweet and slow, but at this point the tension that had been building for months took it in a different direction. He pulled away and came in at a different angle, backing you up against your desk, hands resting on either side of your waist. After a few moments he reached a hand out and swept everything off your desk in one swift motion, before picking you up with a squeal and sitting you on it, coming to stand between your legs.

You couldn’t believe you were doing this, even as you reached down to pull on the bottom of his shirt as he threaded his hands through your hair. You pulled him closer by the waistband of his gym shorts as he pushed your skirt up around your hips glancing down before stopping completely.

“Take these off.” He said breathily pulling at your stockings. Before you could though you hear a soft rip and looked down to find that he had torn them to reveal a pair of black lacy underwear.

“Arber!” You whisper scolded glancing down as he pushed you skirt completely up and then gripped you by the waist, pulling you forward and then leaning you back, pushing his own shorts down. You breathed deep, eyes focusing on the ceiling for a second as you prepared yourself for what would probably end up being the worst thing you’d ever do. You would surely lose your job for this, but you just didn’t care.

You gasped as he pushed inside you, one leg propped up on your chair, the other leg being held up by him as he pulled out and pushed in again. The desk was acutely uncomfortable as you arched up off it, but the slow drag of friction as he found a rhythm to his pushes was just too enthralling to make you think about that. You hit your lip eyes closing until you felt his hand wrap around your throat and you opened them to find him looking at you. He gave your neck a small squeeze, and then a harder one, hitching your leg up higher.

“Arber I-“

“Shhhhhh.” He shook his head and let his hand drift down your chest, fingers splayed across it before he moved it under your neck and pulled you up to kiss him. You could barely stand it. The sensation of him kissing you, gripping your neck, and continuing to move in and out of you was too much. Your head fell forward and your body began to shake, heat pooling in your stomach as the ache in between your legs increased.

You came with a small scream and a gasp as he did too, and you sat there for a minute, forehead resting against his shoulder.

What had you done?

“You okay?” He asked quietly from above you, almost like he sensed your inner turmoil. You looked up and shook your head.

“I’m going to get fired.”

“Nah. I’m not going to tell anyone. Our secrets safe with me.” He winked and pulled out of you, pulling his gun shorts back up and helping you off the desk so you could fix your skirt. He was quiet a minute before he spoke.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone really. But also…what are you doing later?”

You laughed then, smile stretching across your face and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would. Why don’t you come over so I can find out.”

“Mmmmmm maybe. Guess you’ll have to wait and see.” You said smiling cheekily at him. He smiled back and leaned forward pausing as he came level with your face and let his nose brush yours as he gave you a very chaste kiss and backed away from your desk, sending you one last smile as he left your office, leaving you in there with messy hair and ripped tights. This would never end well. You’d been strictly forbidden to fool around with any players and your job was important, but so was the idea of being in his bed later. You waged a war in your brain finally coming to a decision. You leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms.

You needed a new job.

[sqwilliam]

Four Out Of Five:

A Basis for Self Discovery

Okay so on twt people were talking about the line “hockey cokey with the opposite sex/the things you try to forget” and why it represents queer themes thus it sent me down a rabbit hole where I took a look at the song (and touches of others from the album) as a whole through this lense and I was told to share it here lol so below is my analysis of the songs queer coding I came up withon the fly.

The information action ratio is a term from the book Amusing Ourselves to Death (which TBHC is written around). It is this idea that information and action are in a ratio setting, it’s the parallel between what you’re being told via information verses your actions that contradict the information. Putting into the context to the song its this idea that the information being told isn’t factual to the actions that alex has experienced which is contradicting the information being told (information and social media = misleading)

In the song he talks a lot about clubs/going to clubs/ the “hokey cokey with the opposite sex the things you try and forget” these analogy’s of trying to forget ones queerness etc. the information action ratio is recalling information he has seen and heard online about gay culture, people, homophobia being the charge of it all verse him going to these clubs/gay club which we ALL know he has been to many times and being more involved in that culture and realising the ACTION of being apart of that is different to what he has learned and been told (the information).

The line “four stars out of five that’s unheard of” is this idea that the media’s outlet is now changing, four out of five for anything related to this topic is really unheard of as lgbtq+ is only now becoming more accepted in the media, getting four stars out of five in a context like this is rare.

“it’s all getting gentrified cute new places keep on popping up” its this idea that the media is blasting these places and things that were supposed to be safe spaces because you know “take it easy for a little while come and stay with us” and in this case tranquillity base is supposed to be one of these safe places.

You could even take “Mr bridge and tunnel on the starlight express” as an analogy for queerness, in Mr bridge and tunnel is a phrase used towards new Yorkers as they tend to walk everywhere compared to other cities in America which are car oriented. Associated with tunnels and bridges in this phrase you think of more gangster looking men, masculine men dangerous hanging out in tunnels/ under bridges, (Mr bridge and tunnel) and this idea that they’re going on the starlight express is contradictory to the INFORMATION that you have been told about these people. They are travelling to find themselves on the starlight express, it’s a juxtaposition between these masculine gruff men travelling via the starlight express to go to a place that is a tranquil base for them, they’re going from what the information that has been stated to the ACTION that is going and expressing themselves.

It goes from talking about the information action ratio being something you can rely on to being a place you used to go (“the information action ratio is the place to go!”, this idea that “Alex” is a guy who used to go to the media outlet to get information and then learns his actions have a better more face value and realistic outlook on what the world is really like rather than what the media says its like.

The media associates queer people with horrible events as well “you could meet someone you like during a meteor strike its THAT easy.” The information the media persues is this horrible sort of like “if you do this, look at the consequences” the start of the song he projects it in that way making this seem like a bad thing and by the end of the song its twisted that way to be like “you shouldn’t rely on the information you should rely on the action of the ratio” you should be action based not information based. The whole lunar expressed and the taqueria at the start is seen as a negative but by the end its seen as a positive, hes flipping the information from a negative to a positive through his action.

When looking at the music video there are two different versions of “Alex” in them, theres bearded alex (him), and clean cut Bronx new York style look dressed stereotype “alex,”(mark) like with mr bridge and tunnel theres two versions the real alex and the stereotype alex which is the information AND the action, the two versions of him have physically made himself the information action ratio. Theres mark and theres alex, hes the personification of the information action ratio, the INFORMATION = clean shaven clean cut new yorker stereotype Mark, versus ACTION = beard alex (surrounded by information but doesn’t believe in it)

This has personified the information action ratio through versions of himself throughout his life, Mark, which resembles 2014 self, taken two legitimate versions of himself one that listens to the information and one that listens to the action.

“the old grey whistle test” is a phrase used in the early forms of pressing records/vinyl, a thing used in new York in record studios where they would bring older men in suits in to deem if music was successful or not. If these old men were whistling the tune after they left it was deemed a success. In the context of the song they are putting the reliance of success and what is good, moral and correct in the hands of old white males.

It was also a tv show in the 80s where artists would come on and perform music, but they didn’t have the technology to broadcast the live footage of the actual artists playing o they would have people edit footage over the top of it to portray a certain feeling and mood over the top of songs that weren’t really played, they would edit the songs in a way to be what they wanted, the songs are edited to be completely different so that it would fit the media and people’s ideas of what it should be on TV. (This is something Alex has faced during AM, editing of the truth and/or the music to fit American television). They brought this show back for an anniversary special in 2018 (when TBHC was written and released). The show was literally a placed used for artists that didn’t chart for them to get seen, but they were seen in a way that wasn’t how the artists wanted, losing integrity and the original vision.

Putting that into a context with Alex, when they broke through in America they were portrayed in a different way than he always had been in the UK, everything was different in the peak of his career which made him into the version of what the media and producers wanted rather than he wanted and intended with the album. This lyric is him projecting where he had been seen through the old grey whistle test which turned him and the album into something it never intended to be, which he then conformed to, pushing this persona forced upon him, but then going back to himself after realising the ACTION is better than the INFORMATION.

AM = Information, TBHC is the action. He’s saying he’s no longer the information of what people expect and being the action of what he wants to be. These albums are the information action ratio, which is also seen through the album sales where TBHC tanks as the information always overtakes the action in the ratio, there is always more information than action.

If you look at the song Tranquillity Base, this is the action whilst four out of five is the information. The song is so different from what 4/5 was, it’s more open and expressive than five out of five which is more melancholic, it talks about people getting dressed up in colourful clothing and jesus is in a day spa it’s a completely different vibe, in the track list TBHC comes BEFORE four out of five, in alexs mind the action overtakes the information, so in alexs mind in his life NOW the action is OVERTAKING the information which had not happened previously. He is now believing the action over the information.

He literally says in the song that he “ponders all of the questions” hes pondering the information being told in the media yada yada yada, they all interconnect and hes heavily said that the album as a whole needs to be analysed TOGETHER as a whole, its this idea that he is slowly morphing himself into believing and taking his actions and life as a whole to create his own view on information rather believing all information that’s given to him from a third party and adhering to what they expect.

“Tranquility base mark speaking may I take your call,” it comes into place right after talking about how he’s questioning things, hes beginning to question what hes being told only for the mark character to enter making himself known saying “let me direct your call to where *I* want it to be” the information part still taking over which he is now fighting against.

He says that he “spent a whole generation trying to figure things out” and immediately Mark comes back again to DIRECT the call away from that line of thinking, each time alex goes to realise that the actions should be over the information mark enters to redirect that line of thinking. He is fighting off himself in a sense. The idea that “technological advances getting him in the mood” is both good and bad, It’s opened his eyes to things he previously wouldn’t have considered but also made him REGRESS his ideas as well.

He goes in to talk about “pull me in on a crisp eve” going more into this hot and heavy intimate section of this song only to then be INTERRUPTED by Mark again, redirecting this call. He’s opening himself up to a more realistic view of what he wants only to be snapped back again by media outlets and internalized hatred for things, he’s trying to get past it but still fighting with what is publicly known to be wrong

The entire album as a whole, again he wants you to collectively analyse it as a whole which hes said. If you look at TBHC (album) as a whole it starts information heavy with Star Treatment and being given the star treatment by conforming to the media and what they want him to be and how he is now this person he is not only to then be more contemplative of his existence (Batphone, The Ultracheese) is a complete contrast in information from star treatment versus ultracheese… its this idea that hes searching for himself and trying to outbalance the information action ratio within himself, hes found himself and lost a lot on the way.

If you go One Point Perspective it’s this idea that everyone’s looking at him and has an idea of what he should be, and then u go into Science Fiction where he says in the opening line that “religious iconography gives him the creeps” its opened his eyes and this religious outlet of how things are dominated in the media from religion scares him in a sense and then you get into She Looks Like Fun, this internalized him of that he has this nagging voice in the background telling him to do things as hes living his life, theres still this nagging voice telling him to fall back into line and conform to what people expect of him.

Monster truck front flip as well, “you push the button we’ll do the rest” = you make the music, we’ll (the media) present it into the world in the version that we want to show to make you successful. He says lines of how theres “things I cant explain and hope I never have to” because of how things are he cant express the way he wants to be due to the overseeing force (the media) controlling him in a way.

“I’ve got a laser guiding my love that I can not unjust” in the sense that someone is controlling him, unable to express his love as hes got a target on his back (higher ups), he loved making these albums but the vision wasn’t a heared to and he was forced into performing these characters for the media.

“Do you celebrate your dark side then wish you never left the house” is also him expressing himself and then regretting it.

This is the craziest one yet but Alex likes to be detailed with album organization so this was likely also intentional, there’s 11 tracks on the album, a number often associated with trusting your intuition, embarking on a new path and a new way of living and trusting your own guidance, seeking a divine path within yourself. This is the biggest stretch but it’s a funny thing to add

Please don’t take this as me trying to say “aha Alex was clearly speaking about this” I just found it interesting how you can interpret it’s themes in this way that coherently tell a story that many LGBT people can relate to.

[mademoiselle-red]

Some subtly romantic and erotic moments from “the moon is brighter tonight” scene in the novel:

(with screenshots + my summaries and rough translations)

Lianhua and Di Feisheng sneak into Jiao Liqiao’s bedroom, which contains a hot tub and bookshelves. Lianhua throws (yes, the verb used here is “throw/toss”) Di Feisheng into the hot tub and then jumps in with him. He washes himself off, and then goes over to the bookshelf to look through her documents.

Di Feisheng continues to relax in the hot tub and listens to the sound of Lianhua rummaging through the scrolls behind him. Although he can’t see him, Di Feisheng knows his every move from sound alone. The warmth of the hot tub suddenly triggers in him a distant memory: that of Xiangyi playing a game of chess with a top courtesan in a famous brothel in Yangzhou city. He vaguely remembers that the loser of every match had to compose one verse. Xiangyi lost 36 matches against the courtesan and thus used her lipstick as ink to compose a 36-verse poem called “a destined marriage tied in eternity” (note that the final scene in the novel ends with Di Feisheng losing his 136th game of chess to Lianhua 👀; also, why does the warmth of the hot tub and the sound of Lianhua rummaging through scrolls trigger Ah Fei’s memory of watching Xiangyi play a flirtatious game with a prostitute??? Isn’t he supposed to be disinterested in everything outside martial arts???)

In the present moment, Lianhua yawns and asks Di Feisheng if he is hungry. Di Feisheng ignores the question and asks him if he still holds a sword nowadays. Lianhua replies hazily (the word use here is 朦胧, which means hazy, but it has some romantic/suggestive connotations in Chinese that hazy does not fully convey): “don’t you know that when someone asks you if you are hungry, they are actually trying to say ‘I am hungry, do you want to eat together?’” He then takes out some dishes he stole from the kitchen and asks again, with a faint smile, “are you hungry?” (Note: Lianhua is a flirt! ❤️)

Di Feisheng does feel hungry.

He leaps out of the hot tub and sits cross-legged next to Lianhua, splashing water everywhere in the process. Lianhua hurriedly moves the dishes out of the way so they don’t get wet. He says to Di Feisheng: “you’re too clumsy and wild…”

The two of them sit facing each other, drinking wine. The light has dimmed outside, the moon has risen above the mountains, casting a snow white glow into the room.

“Today…”

“That year…”

The two of them spoke at the same time and stopped. Di Feisheng’s face softens and smiles: “What about today?”

Lianhua replies, “After today, what do you plan on doing?”

Di Feisheng continues to drink wine, smiles again, and says, “killing you.”

Lianhua smiles bitterly, unconsciously takes another sip of wine, and asks, “what about that year?”

“That year…” Di Feisheng paused a bit, “the moon was not as bright as today.”

Lianhua begins to laugh, raised his wine cup to the moon, and said, “that year…the moon that year was just as bright as today.”

And then Lianhua proceeds to ask Di Feisheng if he wants to marry a wife after this. Di Feisheng asks him why he’d want a wife and Lianhua replies that every man should have a wife. Di Feisheng then asks Lianhua , “what about you?” Lianhua says “my wife ran off with someone else”, and then starts to ramble about how happy he is that Wanmian got married and found happiness, and then Di Feisheng says, “it’s just a woman.”

Lianhua starts looking through Jiao Liqiao’s letters but seems to struggle. Di Feisheng asks him “what are you doing?”

Lianhua replies “I just want to read what’s in the letter.”

Di Feisheng looks at his eyes and asks: “you can’t see? What happened to your eyes?”

Lianhua explains how his sight is failing, and mutters, “sometimes I can’t see your face clearly either, it floats around, sometimes it is there sometimes it isn’t, so you don’t need to worry about…the fact that you are not wearing clothes….in front of me”

Di Feisheng cuts him off mid-sentence and starts reading the letters out loud for him. (Note: without Lianhua asking! 😍)

[lunaralynx]

i think pt. 1

things about supa strikas that sit in my head (and headcanons)

hc: my sister headcanons that vince constantly wears long-sleeved suits (i've never seen him wear short sleeves like, ever-) bc he has a bunch of small scars and tattoos. i mean, bro looks like he runs a mafia in his spare time, and thus i thought, vince with a huge snake tattoo on his back sounds cool. i will stand by this.

iron tank is all brawn and no brain (except ja nein, who is the only brain and braincell)

dooma is a cat lover (you can tell how much i love this)

from the episode "the perfect match" aka the one with max power: shakes, why do you have a photo of skarra on that huge web of max power objects? i know skarra broke his leg that episode and that picture of him was upside down...

big bo with that photo of a brick wall in his locker. i still have no idea why he has that. also, why is his cactus named spike? doesn't all his trauma stem from spike dawson?

hc: ura giri plays sudoku and gets real mad when he gets one square wrong bc it throws off the rest of the board.

klaus and dingaan my sillies...

streamer shakes? he does play video games everywhere he goes-

there's a small animation mistake in "cool aid" where the number on north shaw's jersey is 2 (klaus's number) and not 8 in the scene where cool joe is performing in the stadium.

tiger's signature is just 虎 and it makes me so happy-

liquido in that one scene in "one superleague under the sea" without context sounds real sus. like what do you mean "north shaw's looking good... real good (sus smirk)" and why did you voice it like that?!

dancing rasta, please stop getting injured so much, it's most definitely not healthy-

[daisynik7]

could you do the most gut punching, debilitatingly soul crushing, hair pulling, tear inducing eren ff



cw: PLEASE READ - extremely heavy content and trauma warning, please proceed with caution. If you are sensitive to topics that deal with traumatic events, please avoid this. I'm being overly cautious just in case! 

Author’s Note: Thank you for the request, anon. Doing my best to give you something that I consider gut punching/debilitating/tear inducing. I’m sorry for the hurt, this was a tough one to write!

It’s past midnight and you can’t sleep. You’ve been staring up at the ceiling for the past hour, eyes focused on the blank canvas above you, mind unable to shut down the way you want it to. It’s no secret: you’re thinking about Eren again. You haven’t stopped thinking about him for over a year now. And, given your unbreakable track record thus far, you never will.

You call his phone, knowing it’ll go straight to voicemail, clearing your throat as his familiar voice says, “Leave a message after the beep!” The tone rings, signaling for you to start. 

“Hey. It’s me again. I know you’re probably tired of hearing my voice, but if you think that’s going to stop me, you’re wrong. I’ll keep calling until the day you pick up.” You turn to your side, resting your phone between the pillow and your ear. 

“I can’t sleep. I had a shitty week at work. Levi’s been on my ass, complaining about how my desk is so unorganized. You know how he is. I guess it doesn’t help that I’ve been out of it. I don’t know. I wish you were here.” You swallow hard, trying to hold back from crying. It always leads to this, though. Tears streaming down your cheeks, soaking your pillow in sobs and snot. Eren always teased you for being such a cry baby. It’s one of the many things he loved about you. 

“Annie told me I should start dating again. Let go and move on. Told me it’s for the best. Of course, I got upset at her, but I know she’s just worried about me.” You sigh, eyes beginning to water. “Do you still think about me? Because I sure as hell still think about you. All the time.”

It’s inevitable now; the crying, the rush of emotions. “I’m still so fucking mad at you for leaving that night,” you say, sniffling. “So fucking mad for not staying with me. Why did you do that, Eren? Why did you leave me?” 

You sob into the phone, unable to form coherent words any longer. It takes a minute or two to collect yourself, wiping your face with the blanket, eyes puffy, nose runny. As best as you can, you continue, voice trembling. “I’m not actually angry. I promise you. I just miss you so fucking much. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thinking of you. I see you everywhere. In my dreams, around my house, whenever I hang out with our friends. You’re always here and always there. I can’t escape you.”

The giant teddy bear he won at that state fair five years ago sits on the bed beside you. You reach out for it, holding it snug in an embrace, the phone still squeezed to your ear. “I know you’ll never listen to this, but I want you to know that I still love you. I’ve always loved you, Eren. I always will.” With that, you hang up, ending the voicemail.

It’s been over a year now since the accident. When you got the call from his parents, you were staring up at the ceiling, exactly like tonight, unable to sleep. Waiting for his call to come through, ensuring you he got home safely. You told him to stay over, but he insisted, knowing he had to be with his family the next morning to celebrate his mom’s birthday. And of course, it’s not his fault for insisting. Eren was always trying to make everybody happy. It’s not his fault for driving that night. It’s not his fault for stepping on the gas pedal when the stoplight turned green. It’s not his fault for not noticing the speeding car with its headlights turned off, driving towards him, running the red. None of it was his fault, and that’s what makes it hurt the most. He didn’t deserve this. Nobody does.

And while he’s still living and breathing, the steady heartbeat pounding in his chest, it’s almost harder than if he wasn’t. For over a year now, you’ve held onto hope that one day, he’ll wake up from his coma. That the past twelve, thirteen, fifteen months have been an unbearable nightmare, and he’ll be back to his normal self. Laughing and smiling with his cheeks rounded, the same electric joy he brings everywhere he goes. It’s that hope that drives you crazy, keeps you sinking down this unending spiral. But it’s the only thing you have left to hang on to. 

It's become routine to visit him every weekend in the hospital. Sitting beside his peaceful form, stroking his hand. Throat stuck with anguish that renders you speechless. That’s why you leave the voicemails for him on his phone, the one that his mom promises to keep charged every day because she knows how important it is to you. You scoot the chair closer to him, the phone held in your grasp, playing on speaker the latest message you left for him just several hours ago. Wishing for a miracle that somehow, he’s hearing this and dreaming of you in his everlasting slumber.

Hey. It’s me again. I know you’re probably tired of hearing my voice, but if you think that’s going to stop me, you’re wrong. I’ll keep calling until the day you pick up.          

[mrs-monaghan]

I just watch Bon Voyage 1. And it gave me clarity on something. Jikook started being sexually active around 2016. Or maybe even before that. Why would you give someone a footsie under the table if you’re not sexually active with each other?

Damn anon. You're just gonna bring this up, no heads up? Okay then.

How do I answer this without getting crucified for delving into their sex lives? 🤔

Whatever. I'm already cancelled.

Disclaimer: this is just what I deduced. Only Jikook know what really transpired.

So due to certain behaviour I am inclined to believe that yes, by 2016 they had gone all the way. Maybe late 2015 (thus my theory for why 8/11/15 is important) or early 2016. Because 2015 we have the 2 things that I linked above, then 2016 we have; like you just pointed out, the crotch footsie and also Osaka Vlive. Oh! And let's not forget Jimin eating a sausage, saying he's a big eater, laughing at reasons only known to him, while looking at the person who was behind the camera. Possibly the owner of the sausage Jimin likes to eat. Idk 🤷🏽‍♀️

2016 was full of sexual tension and innuendos and just... things. I think we can all safely agree by 2016 the going was going. 👉🏽👌🏽

That being said, I think before the going started going, other things were being done way before that. I don't need to clarify obvs. Kissing, heavy petting.... c'mon I'm already saying too much don’t make me say it. O__L. Okay, there i said it.

But the thing is, there are Jikookers who have this thing where they say Jimin waited till 2017 in Tokyo or some shit or they didn't do anything at all before they went all the way. Again, because Jimin was trying to be respectful. Or because being gay is illegal in SK. Or a bunch of other stuff that I'm honestly not sure why they would apply.

Jimin is absolutely the type to feel guilty if he thought he made JK do something he didn't want to do. That much i agree on. But, that would come after the fact. Alright? Teenage boys are the same everywhere. Everywhere. The wind blows in their face too hard they get hard at that age. And now you want me to put my faith in two horny teenage boys, living under the same roof and are attracted to eo??? Nah fam.

I'm not doing that. Regret usually comes later, after the deed has already been done 😂😂

And if the accident was too good it happens again and again and again until you start planning for it and looking forward to it. Maybe by saying you'll be staying late practising the new choreo at the studio? 😌 who knows?

Moving on, we know for sure they had already shagged in 2016 because that is when the push and pull started to happen. This is the example I like to give. When you sleep with your teacher, or with your boss. Right? (By teacher I mean college, please and thank you) Do you know what happens when you fuck your superior? A little respect kind of goes out the window. Suddenly you don't care if you're late for work. You decide not to do your homework just because. Your behaviour changes because you know you can get away with shit now.

And this is exactly what happened with Jikook. Jinmin were reacting to that show JK went on and Jimin was lamenting how JK doesn't listen to him. He complained during the live... and he complained on twitter

He complained some more

And complained again

He was a dog with a bone, couldn't stop complaining

And that wasn't the only time. Eat Jin. That one live where Jikook were misbehaving with those lollypops. Jimin again complains that JK has changed. He doesn't listen to him anymore.

He was smiling... but mans was finding JK's behaviour baffling. He couldn't understand why JK had changed.

Jimin, you let that boy wreck you, he has seen how you look like pliant and at his mercy, begging for the Jungkonda. You did this to yourself. Like a friend said to me, Jimin had made his bed, and he now needed to learn how to lay in it and be comfortable. You chose to give that boy the jibooty, he ain't listening to u 😂

(Sidebar: JK replied "I take it from you" given the topic at hand you can't blame my mind for where it went 😂😂😂😂)

Anyway, it's okay, they worked it out and are now living happily ever after. 😁😁💛💜

So yes anon. By 2016 Jikook were Jikooking. Hard. Pun intended 😏

Bonus.

JK had no emotions....In anything.... Hmm 🤔

Does that sound to anyone else like JK was hitting and quitting or is it just me? Just me? Okay, I'll show myself out. My apologies.

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Hello I like the concept of reader in impostor sagau au, but what if the impostor who wants to kill the reader has power to dominate the will of the pepoles but he manily did to archons like venti and nahida becoese impostor knows that those two wodul help the reader. And those are prisoners in thier own body and trys to take back control of thier body even for few secends just to help reader escape, and that true impostor on the public acts on the public like good god but on the private. Where there is no acolaytes only thier dominated puppets they will shows true colors of cruler person that wodul like to punish all of acolaytes for leting reader run away but they can punish only those characters who are under thier control.

(Sorry for my bad english that not my first language)

This. Pure Gold.

Anon, true words cannot express how much I want to hug you right now. I legit could not have come up with this idea myself LOL. Honestly, ik my writing is terrible, but I might make a angst oneshot out of this idea! Tysm for the idea, Anon!

But I really do love this idea! The Imposter being smart this time, bois. Poor Venti and Nahida, they're being held against their will—quite literally. But still, this is a super cool concept! Imposter being able to take control over people's wills, mainly the archons, along with every other character that seems to hold a deep loyalty to them.

So! Allow me to introduce...Imposter Headcanons!

When Imposter takes control, it is done by mind entirely. → Now, you might be asking "isn't that obvious?" Let me explain why I point this out. Think of this as a light switch. When Imposter wants to, they can simply slip into their own consciousness once this "switch" is turned on, and they can decide who's minds they can possess/take control/spectate.

Often times, characters would not be able to notice the Imposter's presence within their mind, but people who are keen or have been dealing with spirits in some way (Examples: Shenhe, Chongyun, Yae Miko, Cyno, etc.) would be able to feel that presence. This causes the feeling of the "Creator's presence" being placed everywhere, causing everyone to believe that the Reader is, in fact, the "imposter," when it should be the other way around.

To the Imposter, choosing who to have a constant control over is basically like choosing which characters you want to have on the party, except with one catch: it goes up to at least several hundreds of people. Imposter can literally have like- a fourth of the world possessed if they wanted to at this rate—

Imposter's actions don't always influence their puppet's actions, as there is a certain command these puppets would follow. For example, the Imposter could be feeling hungry and want something to eat, thus they cannot spectate their puppet's actions. They leave this final command in their heads: "Search for the traitor. Don't stop until you bring them to me. ALIVE." and then leave to have their lunch or something.

The Imposter's Actions May Sometimes influence the character's they possess and their actions. → The best way to explain this is an example: Let's say the Imposter feels sleepy, and they decide to go to sleep after giving the final command to their current puppets to continuing searching for the traitor (for context, this "traitor" is someone who didn't believe in their "creator" aka imposter). They would do it, it's just...sometimes, the puppets may also feel fatigue. This causes their actions to be more sluggish, some of the puppets are less keen than they usually are.

Just think of Al-Haitham except his mind is being clouded by 2 weeks worth of no sleep to the point he has to have taken one cup too many of coffee to function.

The Imposter can speak through their puppets. → This is very helpful. From physical appearance, it just seems like they're the same, but their voice? Oh no, that's a entirely new story yet to be discovered.

The Imposter's voice is overlaid on the character's voice. Think of it like playing two songs at once at the same time. Except, Imposter's voice would come out stronger than the character's voice.

For example, imagine Reader bumping into Nahida, right? They're basically having a Goose Chase, since Reader is trying to get away from Nahida, thinking (correctly) that she'll kill them. And then she taunts, "Come out, imposter. You can't hide forever!" Nahida's voice is entirely overpowered by the Imposter's voice.

This is also beneficial for the Imposter's hunting army. Why? Because, if several hundreds of people begin storming a place, and people are panicking, the Imposter can have all of their puppets speak at once, saying something like "Don't fret, my people. It is I, your Creator." Which immediately calms down the citizens, before the Imposter commands to their army "Search for the Imposter!"

Yes, that means the commands the Imposter gives could be both a verbal order or a mental one.

Imposter Cannot search in people's memories. → While in control, the Imposter cannot look through their puppet's memories. This is probably the easiest loophole the Imposter gets, seeing that they seem to have a close eye on the Archons, having their presence on them sub-consciously at this point. They can simply order Nahida to read someone's mind, or just straight up take over her body to do it if she refuses.

The Imposter doesn't have to worry about their puppet's consciousness, because they're usually in a daze or in a sleepy state whenever the Imposter is in control. It gives them easy access to do whatever they want to their physical bodies.

However, once Nahida and/or Venti decide to break through it once to let the Reader escape? Oh no, Imposter will, first of all, punish those two severely, and, second of all, be worried if that were to happen ever again.

Imposter will legit throw them in a cage, probably both mentally and physically. They're taking absolute precautions to make sure it doesn't happen ever to those who seem more interested in escaping their grasp.

You can basically say goodbye to Nahida and Venti—Imposter will not let go of their control over them. They'll be in their heads day in and day out. No excuses, and no escapes.

Legit Imposter is a straight up tyrant. And tbh, Idk if Reader will be making out alive on this sagau au concept, lads.

And that's all I got! Sorry if it's confusing lol—feel free to ask any questions. I'll try to answer them if I can. See you around!

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: Thanks so much for sending this into my inbox, anon! Feel free to drop by again when my mailbox is open! And I wasn't kidding—I might actually make a small oneshot or two based off of this idea. It won't be beta read though sobbing. But I'll try writing again lol-

Check the Ghost Rebel's Blog Description to See if Their Inbox is Open!

[chaoticyumelikes]

20 days ago someone asked me for this but unfortunately Tumblr ate the ask so I don't remember the user 😔 but remembered the ask! So here goes:

The Devil x Gn! Angel Reader

Well, well, well, how WAS your fall?

Well he used to be an angel too before he was unceremoniously kicked out due to... Heh... History. So color him surprised when he sees an angel of all things in his domain.

He had to rescue you from getting bullied by the regular denizens of the Underworld where they wanted to clip away your fluffy feathered wings. With the rise of an eyebrow while he looked at you, judging you and asking you what are you doing in the Underworld. Have you fallen from grace? Took a wrong turn in the geological or morality compass? It matters not, your presence will be met with irritation, annoyance and if you happen to be a true angel inside as well as out, you will be straight up irksome to him. So naturally he will keep you as a pet.

He misses Heaven though he will never ever admit it. So guess what? You're not going back. Suffer as he has... Kinda. He cannot be overly cruel to you... If you play your cards right of course. But he will never let you go back. You landed on his turf so evidently you belong to him now. If you behave nicely he will give you some freedoms such as walking around his abode without escorts but do NOT stray from him, "Not every demon is as handsome and compassionate as me, dear." He swears he developed a sixth sense when you (accidentally or not) stray a bit much to his liking. He gets snappy with everyone till he reaches you and (gently) grabs your hand to move you next to his throne before he incinerates everyone. Heck, the demons learn this very quickly, so any meetings with their boss they will look for you and kindly ask you to join (you're an angel, so you won't refuse the shivering demons' request...)

On the off chance you are an angel that he used to know be prepared to be relentlessly mocked by him, and him alone.

Not many get to interact with you as they fear their lord's wrath and consequently his pitchfork. Henchman is the only obvious exception. He is far too devoted to his master and thus has the Devil's trust.

You thought you'd have to learn about the Devil by asking Henchman but to your surprise not only the Devil tells you of his life he sets up a whole theatre act around it. When you genuinely clap at his performances his grin could not have been bigger. Finally! Someone of culture!

You bet that after you applaud him you just sealed your fate. He will try to convert you to his ways. He wants you always by his side being his "Yes-angel". Of course, since you are your own person/angel fights are gonna happen when you disagree even the tiniest bit.

Be ready for his tantrums. His very fiery, very dramatic, 6-year-old-worthy tantrums. Fortunately, since you are an angel you have powers, so you can block his fire (Henchman and King Dice have used you as a shield more than once. Not just as a flame shield but they believe their boss grows a bit soft at your general presence and you are a literal angel, you'd protect them anyhow... Right?)

Out of curiosity, he will investigate the why of your fall. Was it a logistical error that you were sent to Hell and not Heaven? Or something else. Won't ever tell you if he finds out though. You'll never know he is investigating your past either. You will suspect it however when his teasing gets a bit more personal tho.

Has pet your wings more than once. His wings were fluffier and prettier than yours (his words) but he misses his wings sometimes (would never let anyone know). If you envelop him in your wings... He complains all the while getting comfortable and sighing. Will even feign a glare or two, but you can see totally he doesn't really mean it.

Do not EVER give the Old Scratch a ride from you. For one he can fly, another reason is... You'll have to give him rides EVERYWHERE. Should you refuse him... He will become so dramatically heartbroken which in turn plays your heartstrings to the sound of guilt and... Dammit it works.

Despite his constant complaining he enjoys your company a lot. He even starts seeing you as an equal. He even starts falling for you (after he mistakes it for allergies and keeps a distance from you but then he misses you and like a cat he will impose himself for you to give him all the attention).

You'll only ever believe he loves you when he protects you from his less loyal minions or lost souls unfortunate enough to even touch you. His wrath will know no bounds.

The Cuphead brothers once tried to "free" you by literally grabbing you and escaping the place. To the brothers' absolute surprise not only do you tell them you want to stay, the Devil himself gets vicious and unrelenting in getting you back he almost manages to get their souls. Fortunately, your immediate "surrender" and staying by his side manages to somewhat calm him. The brothers definitely make a mental note to never do that again EVER.

Do not expect this boss of demons to say he loves you. He has a reputation to uphold mind you. Nooo, you're the one that must take the initiative.... And after him teasing the sh*t out of you for even saying such a thing he will accept the relationship. Be prepared to be always in his arms in private. He has to be touching you almost constantly in some way, even if it is his tail wrapped around you. Will complain and mope around though (like a cat) if you say something about it.

Be ready to be covered in his fur as he is ready to have some of your feathers somewhere on him. Any witness that blurts out something about it it's immediately dealt with.

[negrutou]

I think I finally get the Mononoke: Noppera-bo arc. I think I got it. (I've watched this series like 6 times in English and 6 in Japanese,,,, could it be insanity? 😏)

No, I don't think the Mononoke is Kusuriuri in disguise, and no I don't think Kusuriuri loved Ocho. The Noppera-bo are faceless yokai who are known to steal faces and cause tricks. They also can be Tanuki or Kitsune in disguise (could that mean Kusuriuri can be a Noppera-bo? Maybe that's how he knew to dispel all those tricks). This Mononoke could just also happen to be another nameless Tanuki or Kitsune. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Regardless of all that, Ocho obviously killed every desire she had and thus those desires were her different faces, in which created the Noppera-bo that fed off the pain of her sacrifices. She wanted to be a good daughter for her mother so she killed her playful side, she wanted to be a good wife so she killed her disobedient side. She sacrificed herself. She sacrificed her many faces.

And we've all been there. We gave up so many pieces of ourselves and gave up energy to keep the status quo in some way, form, or shape (reason and truth!!!). And it's so easy to hide away from reality and picture the "what ifs" if we kept to our honest selves or jumped into our impulsive/intrusive thoughts. And Ocho had done the same thing.

She is literally feeding her own negative thoughts by picturing what would happen if she decided to kill them all. Or if she stayed in her prison some faceless man (the Noppera-bo) will come and save her and build her a palace and love her despite the flaws. Like literally, the scene where they get "married" and all the masks are soooo jealous?? Like c'mon... That's Tumblr girlie sleepytime scenarios 101.

The Noppera-bo fed into her delusions, for lack of a better word. For her trial was fake in my honest interpretation. The trial was a metaphor for her final face. If she killed her final self, the self she had now, the obedient, selfless, demure Ocho, she would lose her identity once and for all. Who would she be after? Her face would have been stolen, and the Noppera-bo would have succeeded in stealing her, keeping her trapped in the prison she thought a palace.

Not to mention, ALL of this is happening in her mind. She is technically still in reality, picking up the broken sake bottle. And in order for the Noppera-bo to lose, Kusuriuri must bring Ocho back to reality and force her to remember her self worth, to remember her main face. The Ocho Kusuriuri kills in the end is the one that keeps her trapped in her daydream, the one that wonders why the Noppera-bo loved her, the one that wonders what her life would be like rather than the one who goes and does it.

I also wanna say that the Noppera-bo, the faceless man that would do anything for Ocho, is Ocho. Ocho is the Mononoke. I mean obviously they state it in the episode, but people still think the faceless man and Ocho are two separate beings. I treat the Noppera-bo as her imagination. Like your brain will do some crazy things to protect itself from self destructing, and that basically is what the Noppera-bo was. I can say from personal experience I dived heavily into fanfiction and fantasy because I wanted to escape the horrible reality of being homeless, depressed, and suicidal.

It's so apparent in the voice lines too that Kusuriuri didn't think the Noppera-bo was helpful at all.

"Why did he save me?"

"Do you really think he saved you?"

Like just because the Noppera-bo was trying to make her happy (and just because I dove in fanfiction to vent out my frustrations) didn't mean she was saved (did not mean I had the maturity to face my demons).

I think in the end, Ocho has the guts to leave. The medicine vendor saves her from her destructive self and she goes to run away like she intended.

I hope to God this dissertation makes sense. My brain is everywhere while watching these episodes for the 7th time.