#thus me not thinking to include them
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So, this poll is over now, and a lot of people in the notes brought up stuff that I'd overlooked. Therefore, I'm doing it again, with more options this time.
I would have put a whole lot more options, but unfortunately, I can only do twelve. Again, please share more detail in the tags or replies if you want to.
#polls#tagamemnon#greek mythology#greek myth#the iliad#the odyssey#percy jackson#pjo#rick riordan#osp#epic the musical#disney's hercules#just kinda throwing tags out there#i apologise for overlooking d'aulaires book of greek myths and xena warrior princess and hercules and stuff#but i wasn't aware of the existence of the first two and i've never watched the third#thus me not thinking to include them#a couple of the notes mentioned that i seemed young and... yeah you know what i'll admit that#i'm not still in high school or anything lol#but i'm not that old#so yeah#hopefully i covered more options this time
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geralt "i will NEVER deadname my best friend" of rivia
"he will ALWAYS be dandelion to ME"
#also 'including milva in male costume' goes SOOO HARDDD#everyone say thank you regis for citing a dozen precedents to pull that off. the effect of knowing your herstory <3#c: geralt#s: i want to be by your side#geralt is like the reverse situation of a transphobe who 'has known you for 20 years so he can't call you something else now'#it's that he has known dandelion for so long that he can't call him anything else but his STAGE / CHOSEN NAME :')#the 'viscount dandelion' is so funny to me#i can accept that he's a viscount but I DRAW THE LINE at calling him by his birth name#milva: 'you can accept that he's a viscount??'#also it's lost in english but that his stage name and birth name begin with the same letter & thus sound. jaskier... julian...#not the 'chosen name starts with the same letter as the birth name' stereotype. and swag#the witcher books#book: lady of the lake#excerpt#one thousand million years ago in posada:#dandelion: 'don't you want to know my name' | geralt: 'but i already know your name. it's dandelion'#dandelion: 'but it's not my real name. don't you want to know my real and famous name' | geralt: 'not particularly'#geralt has the same relationship to dandelion's birth name and viscount status as dandelion has to kaer morhen 💀#geralt and dandelion are like i don't care who you were back then i cannot comprehend your sad backstory all i care is about who you are no#i think this kind of friendship helped them both slightly detach from their exaggerated levels of perceived self-importance#geralt from his 'woe is me i will never be seen as a normal man' and dandelion from 'im the most interesting man in this tavern'#only SLIGHTLY detach. when they're around each other they temper expectations. but when they're apart it grows back
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in MDZS the novel, the innkeeper in Yunping mentions that people are too scared to go petition Yunmeng Jiang for help because someone once walked in on Sect Leader Jiang whipping a guy in the main hall, supposedly because the guy was a demonic cultivator.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#jc apologism#anyways as you can hopefully tell by now this is a jc stan blog.#so as a stan i will do my rightful stan duty and insist that my fave did nothing wrong#so. onwards. the “jiang cheng tortures demonic cultivators” claim is interesting on several levels#because we don't see it happen onscreen. and because thematically mdzs is a book about the unreliability of rumors#especially when said rumors conform to your preexisting understanding of someone. or what you want to hear about someone#it would have been so easy for mxtx to include a scene where jc tortures a demonic cultivator onscreen. i would love to read it too#but that doesnt happen. when jc actually corners wwx he just shoves a dog in his face and bullies him emotionally#smh jc get your shit together!! what is this lame ass display?? not living up to your reputation here loser#anyways. tbh i consider two things separately: 1. mxtx's intentions. and 2. what the text itself implies#for 1. i am legitimately unsure of what to think. mxtx relies on rumors/empathy/etc to give us info about side characters#in part because she's constrained herself to writing from wwx's perspective and has no other easy way of getting the info to us#does she intend for us to question the rumors? or are we supposed to take them as fact because of the narration limits described?#2. what the text itself implies is not necessarily the same as what mxtx intends.#for me mdzs is in part a story about the unreliability of rumors and reputation etc etc. other meta writers than i have explained it better#so for the work to go “all the rumors about wwx were exaggerated/manipulated/not 100% correct.”#“but the rumors about everyone else are 100% true!!!!!”#is peak stupidity. and shit-tier writing#and i actually like mdzs so i would like to believe the writer is more intelligent than that#thus. i conclude in part due to this emotional necessity of mine that there must have been something more going on#anyways. i have similar opinions about the “did jiggy kill rusong” business but that's a post for later#ill probably put my jc torture opinions in their own post some day#yanyan polls
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'Thus he ended his speech, and he doesn't say That he had wronged or spoken ill of the king, But he prayed that God long keep the king In life, in happiness, [in honour], and in contentment. And when, to the people in attendance, he said, With a steadfast countenance, "Pray for me," With a firm heart he presented his head To the sharp blade that carried it off in one blow. [And not fearing the great cruelty Of the sharp blade [...] Each one seeing that people bore great grief from it] The [three] who had to die afterwards Said nothing, as if they intentionally Had entrusted Rochford Alone to speak for their conscience [...] [The Queen] was still so curious [...] Therefore, they tell her that her brother had shown The greatest strength of any man ever seen [...] The story of the death of Anne Boleyn : a poem by Lancelot de Carle, JoAnn DellaNeva (Translator, Editor, Writer of added commentary)
"'I will,' he said in a good lawyerly fashion, 'not in this point arouse any suspicion which might prejudice the king's issue.' Unwilling to drop his line of questioning, Hales next claimed that George had spread malicious reports which called into question the paternity of Anne's child, Elizabeth. George did not dignify this with an answer. He knew his own sister." Hunting the Falcon, John Guy & Julia Fox
"But George refused to answer the question with the required yes or no, not wishing, he said, “to engender or create suspicion in a matter likely to prejudice the issue the King might have from another marriage.” Nor would he respond to any suggestion that he had spread a rumour that Elizabeth was not Henry’s. The idea that he believed Elizabeth was not the king’s child and that he had repeated such an untruth was, to George, so contemptible that he would not even dignify it with a reply." The Infamous Lady Rochford, Julia Fox
"George Boleyn's real 'crime' was to be Anne Boleyn's brother and Princess Elizabeth's uncle. He was intelligent and spirited enough to mount a powerful defence of his sister. He was powerful enough to provide the focus for Boleyn followers and, especially, those who would assert Elizabeth's rights as heir to the crown." Anne Boleyn, Josephine Wilkinson
#tsf repeated the line of 'george sealed his own fate' which pissed me off...so much#(yes these are screencaps from tsf. don't @ me)#george boleyn#first of all; george's fate was already sealed. so#secondly; i feel like that report from chapuys has been...misinterpreted; possibly?#(unpopular opinion forthcoming): i don't think he repeated what was written on the accusations he was brought#to humiliate henry (although probably this was a bonus)#i think it was more a matter of... he wasn't going to allow them to accuse him of having said something ('not even more replied better')#that they refused to read into the record. and accountability and possibly more a way to give one last blow to cromwell#vis a vis humiliating henry. which is part of why wulfhall was so infuriating#that it was portrayed as cromwell 'tricking' george into doing so.#because the next part (oft omitted which is why i've included it above) is that he won't say anything to impugn the king's issue.#and the NEXT part is to accuse him himself of having spread rumors elizabeth wasn't the king's child#and why would he do that. even his enemies admitted his intelligence#(christopher hales was very closely connected to cromwell and george would've known that if he fucked up it would reflect on cromwell and#thus infuriate henry)#as for his last speech; i wish he was given the credit that anne is given and deserves#which is that his final words were to protect his remaining family#but yeah. so much interesting in de carles. these men being fortified by notcing the crowd was grieving them; not exulting in their ends.
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Thinking thoughts about those from Cuivienen and how they later treated the Valar, especially after Cuivienen was destroyed.
I imagine a foundation of sorrow and a layer of betrayal and pettiness. They had promised safety. And how did it turn out? Kin of Tata and Tatie their first leaders, slain in Valinor by the Dark Hunter from which the Valar promised protection in Valinor.
And then, the War of Wrath comes and with it the destruction of Cuivienen.
If any of those were re-embodied in Aman, I wonder if they make it a point to always turn their back to Valar and Maiar. I wonder if they only speak in the tongue they had first devised all those millennia ago and spoke in Cuivienen before time and different kindreds changed the tongue, not Sindarin or Quenya from the Great Journey's time or later. I wonder if they sing songs in their ancient tongue, songs about the beauty and unsullied health of Cuivienen every time any of the Ainur are near.
I wonder if the Valar feel any shame when those who they once looked upon in wonder and love gaze back at them with indifference or disgust.
#i am so normal about the elves of cuivienen feeling the betrayal worse than anyone in aman including feanor and co#they PROMISED safety from Morgoth and orcs. they PROMISED beautiful lands without sorrow. they PROMISED all that and down the line#decided Mogoth had played pretend well enough to warrant him probation during which he immediately killed again#returns to the east and sullies what beauty had been left. and then even from afar he manages to hurt those from cuivienen with the WoW#dont get me wrong i think the cuivienen elves knew there had to be war against Morgoth for him to be defeated. but the fact that the valar#decided not to only abandon those of beleriand for over 5 centuries before that AND once the war is won also abandon#those of cuivienen to watch their beloved lands drown without as much a warning must sting.#i want there to be a concious decision of 'you abandoned your promise to us twice why should we ever trust you again even in your own lands'#a 'you promised our people who folowed you safety. you didnt deliver. you promised us freedom from morgoth. you didnt deliver. in fact your#inadequacy and decision to let him loose made everything worse for us in the east. why should we ever listen to anything you say'#and thus a concious effort to shed association with Aman as the Valar govern it. they cant leave. the way is shut. but they can establish#a sticking to their own tongue and traditions without the interference of the Ainur. they've done enough. not enough and yet quite enough.#the avari are welcome should some be reborn.#i never know if i want those of cuivienen to be reborn in aman or fade into unexistence entirely both have merit and sexy hcs#but if any were reborn i think they would get along fairly alright with the exiles. kinslaying exiles? 50/50 depending on repentance#but anyone who does not believe the valar's words and respects their decision to not ever be associated with them is welcomed neutral-warmly#they teach them songs about cuivienen. the sweet waters. beautiful meadows. the birdsong that sounds extra cheerful. fish in abundance#and in turn they get taught songs about beleriand. bewitched forests. victorious battles. wild rivers. frothy shores.#it is seen as an honour to be taught a song about Cuivienen by the people who sat by its shores once. in their language/dialect/whatever#instead of in sindarin or quenya. some millenia into the 4th age tou have a surge of ppl speaking cuivienen dialect#it becomes a clear distinction of who still has fondness left for the valar and who would feel indifferent if they vanished suddenly.#this tag essay has gotten way too long again. sorry besties it will happen again.#tag essay longer than the fucking post???? help#tolkien headcanons
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Long time no Bud. Wow the last time I made her a ref was 2018. I experimented some with her pallet. Unsure if I like the profile head but oh well, open mouthed anime inspired profile faces are notoriously hard for a reason.
Sigh. What am I going to do with her.. my writing conundrum workshopping in tags. My tag rant mentions plot related suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope).
#my art#my ocs#ft the irises#tw suicide#tw ableism#sh e the yello one. can you tell she's thematically yellow?#as i don't care about 'spoilers' anymore because i'm doubtful i'll ever get to finish my writing stuff i'll just dump my writing hangup her#i think she's probably about 18 here (physically)#beware the in the tags plot includes suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope)#Bud's voice specifically is tricky.. as Vera (the ghost) left her body (bud) when she was 10.#And vera took all knowledge (memories and words and thoughts) with her when she left.#and bud had to start mentally from scratch after rising from the dead. thus being interpreted as a 'zombie' sort of monster#Vera hatess Bud as hate of the self/ hate of the physical/ hate of the unintelligent (vera is in the wrong here. but she's complicated)#((lol can you tell why vera named herself that haha))#i want her to prompt characters/people to reininvestigate how they think of 'brainless zombie' tropes in relation to ableism but--#but i am doubtful of my writing ability and should probably change what i have going on to something less risky#originally when i was 12 and i first made them all bud was purely a chaotic antagonist. and i have def moved past that#12 yr old me expressing my suicidal idealization by having Vera absolutely hate her old body#and bud (formerly xqi for askew iris in middle/high school) being the body that was rightfully thrown away#but now that i'm past that all.. i need to make bud a character that can actually take up just as much importance as the other 3 irises#do i have the writing skills to do that? who knows.. Bud isn't even a 'main character' the way vera is. should i still try?#even if i never wind up trying and this conundrum stops me forever.. at least these blorbos can live in my head u_u#might delete the tag rant later if i feel self conscious enough about it :/#shrugs profusely#any suggestions are welcome. join me in untangling this gordion knot if u want ashdfhasdfjldf
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Man there's nothing wrong with genderbends as a concept but there's something lowkey infuriating about this fandom's tendency to take canonically gay (or at least, MLM) male characters and genderbend them into women like. Is that not at least a little bit uncomfortable for anyone else here or is it just me
#esp since like for example you never see it happen to any of the female/sapphic characters#could just be bc TF's cast is overwhelmingly male and thus ppl want to even the gender ratio a little#but like. ppl spend more time genderbending male characters into women than they do making content for canon women including the sapphics#discourse#like idk sometimes if the art is really good or if i'm in a really good mood i'm like 'yeah this is fine. i admit i like it'#but then there's other times where i'm like. did you rly think it was a good idea to turn a canon gay man into a woman in your AU#like. really really?#idk it's just one of those things where as a baseline i understand genderbend and even enjoy them myself#it's just in this fandom specifically where the way ppl do it sometimes. feels uncomfortable. or at least poorly thought out#that or it's just me getting annoyed by ppl going 'omg i love TF women' and then making 0 content for them#and then complaining that there's not enough female characters#like okay you literally dont even pay attention to the women who are there and just make fanart of men and m/m stuff#kinda feels like you should either put your money where your mouth is or stop complaining about it#or maybe start supporting franchises that actually have even gender balances instead of inventing representation#that only exists in your brain/friend group and the ppl actually making shows (or watching them) dgaf about
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Hypothetically…?
+ Bonus Sepia reaction
#my art#art#sketch#traditional art#welcome home#wally darling#Mazebound Wally#Mazebound au by Korry#I have so much art that I just keep to myself#my little hoard that brings me joy#Anyways personally I imagine he beheads Barnaby because he simply is too annoyed by his puns and general carefree attitude and such things#But also he is definitely something else I can’t think of the word for that isnt carefree. but yeah he could be a nuisance to this Wally#And thus being a reason to remove his head; even if he can still growl and bark. No stupid face and now bonus claws for the chase + capture!#Probably anyways since his whole deal is having his neighbors help him capture humans for him or whatever /silly#And also apparently probably taking things and transforming/changing them/their form which is pretty rad#I’m so biased man but I swear I’ve tried to open my heart to other aus (Not including swarm)#ignore how dark one eye is compared to the other- I was trying to fix it and made it worse and didn’t wanna erase#Gave Sepia in Mazebound au a tank top and jacket with torn pants probably instead of their normal outfit bc I can /silly
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I meant to write more for a pt 2 lore post earlier but didn't end up doing so, so pls take these AU sketches(Mark & Jense and then some assorted sketchies)
#i should never have drawn them as catboys bcs now they appear as catboys in mind half the time 😭😭#its only on paper but i drew more catboy sketches of them than whats included here 😭#seb reminds me of my cat where hes being all nice and cuddly and then will bite you out of nowhere#seb in his frilly nightgown is very important to me!!!#i meant to draw both of them in nightgowns but brain wasnt worked too well tonight#so thats why these are mostly half finished#the bottom seb is too remind myself i have a regular art style 😭😭😭#mark in this au is so funny to me. bro is tortured by having to be with seb like practically every waking moment#he basically is a offically provided live-in bestie 😭😭#*based on real life thing. i think its funny how you can be royalty yourself +#but bcs youre not part of the imperial family you can still be reduced to the job of having to dress the emperor 😭#^ so thats mark in this au#seb promoted him to an important role when he became emperor but still makes mark do his old duties 🤭🤭#jense is in charge of all the horses and transport and things. thus: ye olde horse girl#im sorry but in historical AUs all f1 drivers are legally obligated to be horse girls. its literally canon#so sorry for the catboy sketch. it will happen again.#but ig i dont wanna go too deep into lore stuff in these tags cause yeah. another post in the works!!#i think about it and have talked about it a lot. but its hard to like contain all of it to bullet points and such#my brain is not built for writing fic i think so idk of youll ever get that from me. but lore yes i will deliver#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#jenson button#mark webber#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#formula 1#boy king au
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"youre crying about standard training dummy rabbit?"
"the blind trust and genuine desire to help got to me."
"i see."
#its so small. adn i cant protect it . (<- tried going back to sleep but thought abt dummyrabbit too hard and#piktalk#projmoon#it misses its friends it wants to come with them it wants to help it cant help you cant help it you cant free it it misses its friends.#something about how it has everything a normal abno has but because its so docile they only let it out for th manager#how its locked to the tutorial and thus can never actually interact with it. is it lonely. where are they keeping my boy.#it has an ego gift thats one of its little stickers so you can match. it wants to follow you. it cant follow you. it still wants to follow#can any1 hear me. its only job is to be ignored and suppressed once. it still wants to follow. free my boy :((((((((#IT 'THINKS' ITS ANOTHER EMPLOYEE... IT 'THINKS' ITS 'ONE OF US'....... IS THIS THING ON...#IT WANTS SO BADLY TO BE INCLUDED BUT IT IS TOSSED ASIDE ONCE ITS USE IS OVER... CAN ANY1 HEAR T
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“what does geralt get from that friendship…”
another post examining the weight of geralt and dandelion’s friendship… because i don’t think people recognize how painful and debilitating loneliness can become.
the witcher as a deconstruction of the genre takes fantasy tropes to their most logical ends—it asks us to consider what The Lone Swordsman feels, looks into the humanity in a Cold-Blooded Killer. and it turns out he’s not cold-blooded at all.
that despite some superhuman abilities, he laments and worries and curses himself, just like any other worker of any other profession. just as the farmer is scorched by the sun, the washerwoman’s back aches, and the scholar goes half-blind studying, a witcher deals with all of the pains and annoyances and dangers of his job in a mundanely human way.
but the farmer, the washerwoman, and the scholar have something the witcher does not have—they’ll always be seen as human and part of their society. at the end of the day after enduring all of their labor, they have their wife to caress, festivities to attend, and taverns to frequent. but for a witcher? after the killing is over, what does he have? no one and nothing. not even a thank you. he is met with fear and hatred everywhere he goes, baseless bigotry and dislike.
I did my job. I quickly learned how. I’d ride up to village enclosures or town pickets and wait. If they spat, cursed and threw stones, I rode away. If someone came out to give me a commission, I’d carry it out.
so he faces not just loneliness, but being deliberately ostracized and cast out from society. geralt can’t even find a polite word in most settlements, much less a friend.
‘(…) Tell me, where should I go? And for what? At least here some people have gathered with whom I have something to talk about. People who don’t break off their conversations when I approach. People who, though they may not like me, say it to my face, and don’t throw stones from behind a fence. (…)’
this kind of loneliness is not a mere inconvenience. it’s completely altering to your self-perception and ability to see the positive in the world.
each day is not lived, but endured.
day in, and day out—forced to the most difficult and lowest labor in order to survive, and knowing that were you to die, no one would search for your body, few would miss you, hell, they might even spit “good riddance”.
in this situation, to find a friend, is not only friendship, but a rescue.
without dandelion, geralt may have drowned—drowned in solitude, amidst a sea of strangeness.
‘(…) And I’m alone, completely alone, endlessly alone among the strange and hostile elements. Solitude amid a sea of strangeness. Don’t you dream of that?’
No, I don’t, he thought. I have it every day.
because dandelion is not only a bright soul, characteristic rippling laughter and the strum of a lute, but someone who will intently listen to geralt, someone who mutually enjoys his company.
‘(…) you almost jumped out of your pants with joy to have a companion. Until then, you only had your horse for company.’
someone who doesn’t see him as strange and at the fringes of society at all, but as an utterly normal man.
and doesn’t impose demeaning, sappy sympathy onto him, but sobering and realistic “quit your bullshit��� which ridicules the very thought that he should internalize societal hatred.
Do you know what your problem is, Geralt? You think you’re different. (…) [You don’t understand that] for people who think clear-headedly you’re the most normal man under the sun, and they all wish that everybody was so normal. What of it that you have quicker reflexes than most and vertical pupils in sunlight? That you can see in the dark like a cat? That you know a few spells? Big deal.
dandelion isn’t “willing” to accept geralt for himself—he already has accepted him. and to him, it’s no difficulty, it’s nothing worth discussing, because he sees no abnormality and no strangeness in him.
while others “prefer the company of lepers to witchers,” dandelion has already offered geralt to share his room and board. not out of sympathetic pity, not out of fetishizing curiosity. because… they’re friends.
and what else does this friendship save him from?
not only from others, but from himself.
worse than enduring others’ apathy and hatred is one’s own thoughts—the darkness and negativity which builds from witnessing and experiencing such behavior.
dandelion’s ability to counter and dispel geralt’s pessimism and self-flagellating tendencies—again, not out of pity, but out of friendship—is undeniably invaluable. someone to rescue you from your darkest thoughts, when you begin to spiral.
and in this darkness, all you can do is cry. you cry, beg for someone to help you, please—
Help! Why doesn't anyone help me? Alone, weak, helpless – I can't move, can't force a sound from my constricted throat. Why does no one come to help me? I'm terrified!
to be alone, the saga reminds us, is worse than a death sentence. to be alone is to “perish; stabbed, beaten or kicked to death, defiled, like a toy passed from hand to hand.” to be alone is to suffer, and to be with someone is to save them from that suffering.
'(…) I wouldn't like anything bad to happen to you. I like you too much, owe you too much-'
'You've said that already. What do you owe me, Yennefer?'
The sorceress turned her head away, did not say anything for a while.
'You travelled with him,' she said finally. 'Thanks to you he was not alone. You were a friend to him. You were with him.'
it is true that geralt has saved dandelion countless times, helped him, gotten him out of some scrape… but to ask what did geralt get in return? are you kidding me?
did you ever consider that it is dandelion who saved geralt?
by being with him. by being by his side. by being his friend.
indeed, dandelion has rescued geralt, countless times, from the yawning jaws of endless loneliness. he’s helped him, chased away the danger of geralt’s own rumination. and he’s gotten him out of scrapes, his own insecurities and bitter helplessness.
so what does dandelion give geralt? what does geralt get from their friendship?
an amusing question. what one gets from friendship is the friendship itself. and that is more than enough.
#the witcher books#gerlion#geralt of rivia#dandelion#jaskier#the parallels with ciri’s story makes me so emotional like…#ciri is just geralt but younger and alone. and thus she suffers so immensely#i included ciri’s nightmare because i think that’s how it feels to be alone#you just cry out ‘help! why won’t someone help me?’ and no one answers#and the funny bit is that everyone is like ‘ugh you cannot get RID of dandelion’ like#i think that’s the most comforting and relieving thing about him. he will never leave and abandon geralt.#there is nothing geralt *would* or *could* do to ever push him away#the kind of friendship where you never worry about being too ‘weird’ for them because they straight up dont care if youre weird#honestly idk how more people dont see them like this because i feel like loneliness is so pervasive right now#does everyone else just have this kind of best friend and for that reason take dandelion’s presence for granted#s: i want to be by your side#c: geralt#c: dandelion#excerpt#analysis#like. this is how it is:#the entire world: ‘you’re nothing you’re worthless and you’re inhuman’#dandelion is NOT like ‘omgggg of course you are something 🥺🥺 pwease don’t think badly like that’#no. he’s like ‘the hell? that’s the stupidest thing ive ever heard. why the hell are you even listening to that’#dandelion has a kind of masculine energy that the fandom does not like lmao
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writing out my to-do list for the semester and feeling an overwhelming wave of terrified nausea like ohhhhh this is going to suck so so bad huh
#and i haven't even gotten to writing down the weekly responsibilities of my actual Internship yet#this is just the university and state deadlines ! ! ! !#(and not even all of them because my professors have not released all their due dates yet)#lads i think i am going to be crying and having many a panic attack this spring unless i can forcibly shift myself into a dissociative stat#that craves neither rest nor pleasure nor any other state beyond being hunched over a computer and writing for my life#(face in hands) i'll survive it for sure but. god.#the really frustrating thing is that the department that is supposed to be preparing me for The Big Test has.#created artificial deadlines for each component of The Big Test that. do not include the final component of The Big Test.#they really just said 'oh yeah and fit that last on in there somewhere when you get the chance :)'#'yes we plan for you to be ready to submit the second to last part within days of the submission deadline'#'but just remember to also fit in that last part somewhere'#'during your free time probably lol'#anyway skfdgjkhdf#i'll survive i'll survive#i have survived literally everything the education system has thrown at me thus far and none of it has resulted in physical harm#i am pushing the boundaries of my body's stress tolerance and that means that everything in the future#will be that much less stressful in comparison#just gotta get through it and then i never have to do it again . . . . . . . . . . . . . .#(unless i go back for my masters or something which i will. probably do at some point unfortunately.)#(this user is prone to suffering)
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If I could get over my internalised ableism and be like 5% more organised and do shit like use my fucking support aids and take my fucking meds I really would be unstoppable.
#brought to you by me inguring my ankle and being forced to use a stick and thus being reminded that using a stick makes my life 100x easier#the gaul honestly#when i was like 14 i got it in my head that i could just stop using my aids and not be disabled anymore because then no one would know#other causalties include hand rests. physio exercies. typeing my notes instead of writing them by hand. and wearing my god damn hearing aid#and now im mostly over that but my brain sometimes screams im not fosabled enough to use a stick despite thay not being how that works#but im very very bad at habit forming so all that shit is still abandoned.#i used to be better about my meds. i really did. but now i think im drawing connections that dont exist between them and my seizures#and like. if i dont take them i still get seziures. but if i do take them i presume they casued the seizure#even though ive been taking these meds for years and the seziures have had a slow degeneration to be this bad#im calling them seziures. the doc is unsure but the are at least seizure like#fuck i just need to get my fucking shit together with my disablities#i have stuff to make everything a thousand times easier#i just dont fucking do it because im a dumb ass
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Okay, so! I have:
Changed the url of the blog (scale-tippers -> abyssembraced)
Changed the colour scheme of the blog (though it's still somewhat subject to change)
Updated the avatar to reflect the new colour scheme (though it's still temporary until I draw a nicer one)
Removed my old promo as my pinned post due to it being outdated (a temporary pinned post with links and stuff will be up in a sec; a new promo will come eventually, probably once I finish writing Rouxls' bio page)
Archived (dropped) Ryunosuke and Robin as muses for the time being.
#ooc#((plus side to making a poll about the url change and not just dming my mutuals directly:))#((the anonymity and indirectness makes people less pressured to say 'yes' and thus will answer 'no' if they don't want me to change it!))#((the down side to not talking to people directly:))#((i do not know who i now need to apologize to for changing my url))#((and the reason the blog colours are still subject to change are because everything is very ghost-centric right now))#(( (oh btw tumblr stop trying to correct me on my spelling of ''colours'' i am Right) ))#((''abyssembraced'' is still a lot more fitting for ghost than it is for rouxls even though the new url was supposed to suit both muses))#((but i chose to go for that name specifically instead of something like ''darkembraced''))#((so i'm thinking i might change the blog's colours to be black/dark grey and blue/cyan to reference castle town))#((so that rouxls feels more included given that he's Also a primary muse))#((also i do still love ryuu and robin but i just. don't have the confidence to write them right now))#((maybe they'll come back someday! but i'm not gonna promise anything and i wouldn't count on it unless i decide to replay their games))#((but i don't really like dealing in absolutes so i'm calling them ''archived'' and not dropped))#((their bios are still available on a separate ''archived muses'' page i just made that can be accessed from the regular muse list))
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Maybe I’ve just been Thinking Too Much About the Concept of Justice due to...currently watching....something (Idon’twannatalkaboutit)..........but GENUINELY the way most of y’all talk about the death penalty and about ANYONE who decides to go through law school for ANY reason is terrifying.
#like. aside from the fact that y'all think thoughtcrime is real (to the extent that it's the Same Thing as actually committing a heinous#crime that affects real people) and would thus be punishable by death (fuck you if you think this btw)#I simply don't think anybody should have the power to decide who lives and who dies#that is a level of absolute and (in the case of death) irreversible power that I believe NO ONE is entitled to#and like. idk. maybe this is just the result of The OCD™ always telling me that because of [unrelated innocuous thing] I'm a terrible human#and should kill myself for the good of society. but. uh. given the inherent fallibility of human nature#and the fact that the justice system is fucked up in the first place#and the fact that marginalized people of any kind are ALWAYS demonized for being marginalized by the oppressors in power#I don't think it's worth risking all those innocent lives for what YOU consider a personally-satisfying idea of justice that could be#achieved through other means#idk man when your brain (inaccurately but still significantly) is always convincing you that you are an Irredeemably Evil™ person#it makes you scared to just. exist as a person in society when people talk like this all the time about people they believe don't deserve#human rights or who should ALWAYS be executed in bloody painful gruesome ways with NO chance of anything else#because you're gonna think that they mean you! that you are included in that!! even if that's not their intention#!!!!! aside from EVERYTHING ELSE I've mentioned that is gonna fuck up people's mental health SO much#(ESPECIALLY if they're stuck in a terrible church environment that condemns them for innocuous things!!!!)#I understand that we're all angry and the world is terrible but maybe consolidating ALL major decisions within One Justice Person or#One Organization is bad actually!!!! even if that person/group is you and you mean well!!!!!!!#tw: suicidal ideation#tw: death#my god I hope this doesn't breach containment I do NOT need people telling me I need to reevaluate my stance that 'human rights'#includes 'all humans'#this blog does not support capital punishment if that's a dealbreaker for you then...don't interact with me I guess???#also every single lawyer ever is not your inherent enemy it's not like cops
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A piece about survivors guilt.
This comic isn't perfect. I started it back in October 2023, and every time I picked up my pen, I wept.
I bring this to you today, on 9/11, in hopes that you reflect on this day a little differently than how most Americans would. Let it move you to continue to boycott, protest and challenge your family, friends and colleagues. You have a bigger impact than you would believe.
Thank you for reading this with an open heart.
From the river to the sea...
I'd like to bring to attention the fact that the figures depicted above are a gross undercount of the actual number of deaths. I scoured the internet high and low to source my findings and not a single one could break down the devastation that befell an individual ethnicity. Instead, they lumped a bunch of ethnicities together, provided a general timeline, and called it a day, reinforcing the sheer scale of dehumanization propagated in the west. The only consistency between all the articles I looked up was the 4.5 to 4.7 million figure I've included above, and even then, they were all published by western media news outlets... the very same that have been so unreliable and complicit in the genocide of Palestinians today. So I have to take everything they say with a grain of salt.
We are not just numbers.
All of us have ambitions and desires and lives worth living.
With that said, this is your friendly reminder to:
Donate an e-sim
Donate to PCRF to provide Palestinian children aid
Donate to Pious Projects to provide woman with feminine hygiene kits
Donate to CareForGaza to provide food to displaced families in Gaza either through their Gofundme or their paypal
Donate to any of the vetted gofundme campaigns on GazaFunds to help Palestinians trying to flee Gaza.
And if you or someone you know sees or experiences a hate crime and can afford it, SUE. This is a more effective use of your money than most realise. The reason zionists act with impunity is because of the normalization of white supremacy and oppression of ethnic minorities. Challenging that in any capacity tells them that there are consequences to their actions and makes them think twice before engaging in hate crimes and helps raise all of us up against the systems currently in place that let them get away with it.
If you can't donate or spend any money, you can:
Do your daily clicks.
Boycott targeted companies on the BDS list (if you're like me and you don't want a single dollar to go towards anything supporting Israel right now, you can use Bdnaash to double check what products are okay to buy, but the BDS list is sufficient as it is a strategic attack and proven very effective thus far)
Flood your representatives emails and voicemails with how you won't be voting for them unless their politics align with an immediate ceasefire in Gaza.
Attend a protest, be LOUD.
Challenge your circle of friends, family and colleagues with conversations about Palestine. (THIS IS THE MOST UNDERRATED AND MOST EFFECTIVE THING YOU CAN DO)
and if you're really up to, be disruptive in any capacity that you can think of towards major corporations benefiting from this onslaught. (i.e. halting military manufacturers from production + shipments, sticking boycott stickers on products at your market etc)
And finally, if your country wasn't mentioned in the above excerpt, it was no deliberate omission on my part and I encourage you to come forward and tell your story about the suffering of your people so that this may be a learning opportunity for everyone.
You are seen.
You are not alone.
Thank you again if you've read this far.
From the river to the sea...
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